The Truth About Scaling, Criticism, and Letting Go with Leila Hormozi

25:10And so - Okay, but hold on before we get into the Bristol stuff. She's on my podcast. She agreed to be off my podcast. I got a yes. I got a playlist. Yes. Okay. Okay. No, enough of me. Now we heard it from the practical sense. You saying no, you having an inbound plethora of opportunities and it becomes difficult nose. Yeah. But what do you do for like taking care of yourself on a personal level? Like, like tactically, like what, but like get us into your home, like in the morning, what do you do? That's yours. Okay. Well, actually let's talk about this. Your days you're, you're writing a book.

25:44Okay. I'm super excited. Are you talking about that yet? Like, are we talking about, I know you're testing like in your broadcast channel, you're testing a few things. I'm in there. I'm watching, just watching carefully, carefully picking up the crumbs you're putting down. Are you talking about that publicly yet? No. Yeah. What, what is, what is the book? And then when we look about like, this is like a big push for you right now and it's something new for you right now. How are you balancing your health and time? Like, what does that look like? Where are you working? What do your days look like?

26:12Where's Layla right now? Well, my days are never all the same. So like Like today, you know, I wake up, I respond to some memos. I write a memo while I'm walking. I shower, I come here, hair and makeup. I film, I take a few calls. I eat, I film, right? But I think I've gotten a lot better at knowing, I would say like, it's less the days and more of the weeks. So it's like in terms of my week, I look at it much more as like, if I'm looking at my week and I'm feeling like, oh my God, that looks awful. I should just change that, right? Like, why would I not? I can do whatever I want. Well, the story people tell ourselves is like, I can't.

26:49No, because of why? Because like a domino effect of everything that happens thereafter. And so what? So I can impress people I don't give a fuck about? Like, it's like, I don't know. I mean, I was even contemplating at one point. I'm like, if I have to do things in a certain way that I think they should be done and I have to do them perfectly, then I'm just not going to want to keep doing them. So either I do them the way I want to do them or they're not going to happen. Content, my business, everything. And so it's just like, at some point, I think you have to kind of say, I'm at a point in my life where it's like, I don't want to do anything I don't want to do.

27:20And it's not because I feel like, it's not from a selfish place. It's from a, if I'm not doing things I want to do, I don't think I'll keep doing them for a long time. And so what are those things that I want to do for a long time? I actually enjoy a lot of stuff and I'm like a generally very happy person. So it's not hard for me, but it's like, if I can't get outside and take a walk, if I don't have time to meditate in the morning if i like i am never the person who's like i'm gonna wake up at 5 a.m i'm gonna fly to new york i'm gonna do this i'm like that sounds terrible i'm gonna like make a trip of it and like bring my husband and like have a few days there like i i do not like that hustle like i actually never was to that degree like i'm never the person who's like i'm gonna wake up at four and go to the thing and back in the day i was like oh my god no that sounds terrible i need to at least be able to work out and eat and so i think it's been more of that to a degree which is like you know i wake up and the first thing i do is i meditate and then for 10 minutes minimum, which is easy.

28:1310 minutes minimum is like the easiest thing. I've stuck to it now. It's been almost 200 days. So that's nice. And then I usually read something for 30 to 45 minutes. Is this like a business book, a fiction? Anything. Okay. Most of the time it's not business. It's like psychology or just like a perspective on something more of like mentality, I would say in some way. I don't know, but probably more behavioral science. Okay. And then And after that, I will go on a walk and then I'll sometimes work on the walk, like take calls, et cetera, depending on what they are. And then other times I won't.

28:44And then I will work. And that's like how I like to start my days. I would say that I've become non-negotiable around a few things, which is like I used to for, I mean, for like three years, I mean, and this is part of what, you know, wrecked my health was like, I just didn't eat. Like, I just was like, I don't have time. and then it just whittled away and things got worse and worse etc so like now i'm like okay i'm really taking time to do that because if i'm not taking care of my body then there's really like i don't care i i was also just like you know it benefits you as a woman because you're like full that i stay skinny too which is like i used to joke with people all the time like they knew like everyone's like she eats like a protein bar that's it and because i was on the go all the way so it's like young time sit down eat a meal what are we talking about like i make myself do that now so it's like i'm like i am just gonna sit down i'm not gonna rush and inhale something and like actually eat a meal i protect my evenings so you know i'm not in my like my team knows like dude after 7 30 like you're gone that's because like i go to bed at 8 30 because i'm tired and so i'm like i don't want to be on my phone slacking people or in a sauna or anything late at night because i'm trying to get good sleep you know all this kind of goes back to like on a personal level like right before everything happened with my health i wanted to have kids and then all this stuff happen it's pushed it off for me but in that you know one thing i learned was like you know the years of dieting and not eating as much and stress it's like you know is that an optimal like you know it's like a lot of people like and by the way we don't have fertility issues so i will say that we had got to a point i said like i would like to freeze embryos and decide when i want to have the kids but not worry about the age of the embryos right and so i was going to do i had done IVF two years it's like I want to say like 19 months ago I was going to do it again because it didn't work at all the first time not for either of our reasons but he's a very doctor so they just it's like it's kind of like you left the fridge open for the eggs yeah kind of like that so anyways oh yeah and then just lost all of my client data it's interesting yeah wait so do you talk about that no I don't want to no I don't want to put anyone on blast no I'm not that but like what does that leave you like if the refrigerator is left open like are you starting the process over again?

30:53It means that I don't have any. So I would have to do it all over again. Yeah. Go through the process. So that was what I was going to do literally the week that everything kind of blew up for me last year, which is crazy, which is why I'm like, I know it definitely like when your body's under stress, because I had two lawsuits happen that week. I got sick. I knew I was going to start IBF and I had my team quarterly all in one week. And I was like, I just, I think my, my stress was just, there's just nothing left in the system. There's nothing left in the tank to deal with it. But all that to say, that is something that's important to me.

31:24I don't talk about it a lot, but I can work the rest of my life. I can't have kids the rest of my life. So that's been something that why I've been prioritizing my health, why I have, I started eating again, why I'm doing all these things so I can be a vessel for these children so that I can have the option to have kids, which I'm not really cleared to do that for like three or four more months. But when I am, then that's something that I'd like to do. So it all kind of ties in with stuff but you know i think when i was sick during that time thinking about what if i actually can't have kids after this and now i can it would be a little i have to have a c-section but that's okay i was like i don't want to it's like i kind of weighed out would i regret not having them or having them more i was like i don't think i'm gonna regret having kids so i would like to do that you're gonna be you're gonna be like an incredible mom like it's insane You're going to be such an aggressive.

32:17You're going to be a better entrepreneur because you're kids. It just, you just play, you'd play the game different. And it's like, you get like super sensei. Okay, but let's back up a little bit. Yeah. I give you a full Saturday. Yeah. What is your, like, what's your, like, I look at my Saturday day and you're like, amazing, perfect day. What is that day? If it was like absolutely anything, there wouldn't be much. It would be coffee with my husband. And maybe like we go to like spot nearby and grab croissants or something. and then we'd like walk around, do whatever, putter. And then I would probably, I would probably want to go to the gym and just like take my time working out.

32:58Do you like working out with Alex or do you like working out? Oh God, no, no, no. We do not work out the same way. We never have. Okay. But now, especially I'm doing all this weird PT. So after the puttering, you go on your own to go work out. Yeah. And then I would say, I love doing brunch with people like friends. So it's like do brunch with friends and then like go on a hike, go outside, go bike with friends. Like my birthday, it was like three years ago, like my perfect birthday. It was like we woke up, we had coffee, the whole thing. I had a bunch of my friends. We were all renting a house together.

33:29And then we went to the gym. Then we came back, we had brunch. And after that, we like sat around for a while, while. And then I was like, let's go bike the mountain. Then we went and biked the mountain. It was, we were in Colorado. And then we like went back to the house and just like played cards for us the night and chilled. And that was like my perfect day. It was like, I was like, that was the perfect birthday. That's all I wanted. It's like, I love being outside. I love moving. I'm like a very active person. I don't like sitting a lot. I love being with friends. Like, so it was fun. And I don't like having like, it was, it was nice.

33:59That sounds good. And so when you look at your perfect day, how often are you getting those days? Like in a month or in a quarter? Well, it's right now, you know, I just hired, gosh, six executives. So I kind of said, the months of January and February, I'm going to work more. And then my schedule, like if you looked at my calendar, you would see it goes back to having a lot more blocked time. But I was like, I have to set everyone up for success. They're all taking things off my plate. They're all helping grow the business. I need to push it a little bit so that I can get that time back so I can finish my book.

34:31So I can build some of the expansion that we have and still take care of myself. So March is more of like a cleaner, worse. Definitely a cleaner month. Yeah. So let's talk about the book. Yeah. Okay. Are we talking about what it's about? Yeah. I'm not going to go into detail what it's about, but. Give me the hook. Give me the sizzle. The sizzle? Yeah, let's mark it. It's still not sexy. Come on. I literally just was like, I want, if there's anything that I were to write a book about, because I started a different book actually when I was recovering. Like what is the most. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

35:05You don't say I started a book and then I started another book when I was recovering. Like we're not even like 12 months. Like what was that book that you had started? That one was Food Follow the Plan. Okay. And that was going to be a book just about how to change your life. Okay. But there was just something, it just wasn't there yet for me. Okay. And so I changed and I said, I want to write a book on leadership. And so really the book that I have written, the first draft is done. It is literally like, I will say this. there is not a book that exists that is more tactical of how to be a leader.

35:43Like it breaks it down. There's 12 steps. It's a flywheel. And it's like, you can go from never having even led yourself really to learning how to lead a large organization by reading that book. I feel very confident in saying that. And I don't know why anyone's not written the book. So maybe I'll find out when it doesn't do well. Oh, not at all. But I, you know, I mean, I obviously have doubts around it, but I feel so proud of it already that I'm like, I don't, I don't care. Like if I can even just make this with my team and be like, this is what we use now to know how to be a leader at acquisition.com.

36:15I'd be stoked because it's like, it's gotten everything from my brain from the last 10 years out. And it's like, this is all I've thought about for 10 years, how to be a good leader, how to teach people how to be a good leader. Like I see everything through the lens of leadership, which I actually think, you know, I talked to my team about this. I'm like, it's actually less prominent in my social media because I, in the beginning, I would make videos on leadership. They just, and so everyone's like, you shouldn't talk about that. You should talk more about systems, operations, et cetera. And I was like, okay.

36:42And it did do better. Productivity, how to get more done, how to organize your calendar. But like, that's not the stuff that I'm super excited about every day. I'm excited about developing people into leaders so they can accomplish whatever they want to accomplish in their life. And I think right now, there's just such a gap. Like everyone is so wanting to make money, wanting to have status, wanting to have influence, but they don't want the responsibility of leading people. And that feels bad. And so I'm like, how do we make it more practical for people to actually be a leader so that they feel like, I think people don't aspire to do things they don't think that are possible for them.

37:19And if every book you read says, oh, you want to be a leader? Be honest, have integrity. What the fuck does that mean? Like, that's so vague and ambiguous. Like, okay, be honest. Well, tell people what to do. Oh, but don't, but don't be mean. But don't, oh, be nice, but not too nice. Oh, but it's like, well, I don't, how do I see that happening in real life? And so I think that this book makes it easier. It breaks it down into steps that are simple enough that people are like, I think I could achieve this. And I hope that if more people think they can achieve it, more people will actually want to do it.

37:51And that's really my goal. Because I think right now, if we look at like so many of the problems in the world, I see it through leadership. I'm like, we don't have enough people who are like selflessly leading. And I think that's the issue. Okay, so as far as like your press and like your swag gifting, your girl, I'll leave you my address because I want to talk about it on social media. I will be one of your first readers. Are you doing a pod? Am I literally pitching myself to Layla right now? I am. I will be one of your first readers. Give me a good red pen. I'm an avid reader though, legit. I love that.

38:20So one of the things that you put out on social was how you were really proud because Alex had read it and then you learned how to incorporate stories. Yeah. I want to hear a story of Layla working through something, coming across a roadblock, you learning a skill set and implementing and then taking a lot of pride in that. because what we, a lot of us here is like, well, this happened back when, but like this just happened. You're in the process of writing this book. So talk to me about the stories. What happened? Like the insight. Yeah. Well, at first, you know, it's like I asked Alex, you know, cause he's been helping me.

38:50How do I structure the book? How do we think about this? What would you write first? How do you sequence these things? Right. He's so good at it. So he's like, start with the stories, you know, because I want my book to be mostly stories with like the end of each chapter has the very concrete, this is how it goes. But I think people learn through stories. And so I'm like, well, I have the how-to part down. I know all the steps and I can explain those very well. But I was like, okay, the stories. And so I wrote the first round of stories for myself. And each story was maybe a page, a page and a half.

39:19And then I was like, okay. And I'm trying to piece it together with all the other pieces of the book. And me and Alex are reading it together. And then I read it. I'm like, these are bad. And he was like, you know, each day they get a little better. And I was like, thanks for being sweet. They're not that good. And then I was like, okay. What do you think about it? Like when you say they're bad, like what, when you, is it like knowing? Uh, I, well, yes. Knowing. I mean, I, I think that the skill gap is like, you can know what good looks like and not know how to do it. I can know what good ice skating looks like.

39:47Doesn't mean I didn't kick an ice skate. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But I can see a bad ice skater. So. So you're looking at your stories and you know that they're not good. Yeah. So then I went back to his book and I started reading his story. He has, you know, his two intro stories. I think I always was like, God, I just want more of these in your book. They're so captivating. And so I read them and I was like, oh, there's like a few things that I noticed. These are the biggest things for me, which is like one, and I learned this from Shy. It's a cold open. It's just like you go straight into the scene.

40:11You have to tell the audience who Shy is. Oh, Shy is our director of brand acquisition. And I told him, I was like, I realized I have to go like straight into a scene. It's not like one day I was walking along. It's like, no, she said, you were here in the office, I'm quitting. And then you're like, whoa, what's going on? I'm curious. So I was like, oh, it's a hook. So I realized that. Second thing I realized is that I didn't use enough descriptive language. So I was very, I'm so used to being direct and like getting to the point. The reader wants to feel it, smell the room, like see how it's going.

40:39And then they want to know the internal journey. How was I feeling through the whole thing? So I'm telling the external journey. I'm not adding enough description. And then I'm not telling the internal journey. So then I was like, okay, I need to add in the internal journey. I need to add stakes. Like sometimes I, because when I tell stories to people, I always minimize the stakes because I don't want to make people feel bad for me. In stories, you kind of have to let them know how shitty it is and how many stakes there are. So I was like, okay. We want to empathize with the protagonist. Yeah.

41:09Yes, what that means. I told you I'm a nerd. I was like, it wasn't mine. So then I rewrote, one day I rewrote like three of the stories and I just went ham all day. And I sent them to Alex and he's like, these are so good. And I was like, oh my God. And I was like, what's so good about them? He's like, they are so much more descriptive, captivating. I didn't want to stop reading them. And I was like, oh, thank God. So where were you writing these stories? Were you at home? I was at home. I just on the couch with my laptop. Yeah, it's nice. And so it's just one day you're like, I am going to focus on making these better.

41:40Oh, no, it was a lot more than one day. But like that was one day that I did that. And then I realized I was like, this is a skill and you're just not that good at it. So you just have to work harder at it. And it's been a super frustrating process because I do so much of my work in a setting where the way I communicate is so different, like so to the point, direct, et cetera. It's like when people would see me on camera and they're like, probably still do. And they're like, she's so like robotic. And it's like, yeah, well, when I'm communicating to a giant company, it's not like I'm like emoting all the time.

42:07I'm trying to give directions, give clarity. That's all I'm focused on. It's like, how do I give them clarity? And so I'm not thinking, how do I sound? I'm thinking, how do they get a clear message from what I'm saying so that they can move fast and they know what to do? And with writing, it's the complete opposite. And so it's been, but it's been fun to learn. And I think it's actually been fun to write the stories because there's so many things I was like, God, about that. Or like, oh yeah, that happened. It was terrible. I'm like, I have so many stories, so many things that have happened that it's like, that are crazy, you know?

42:37And I write them down. I'm like, man, that's cool. And I'm glad that I'm doing it now because I'm like, I'm going to forget these at some point. Right. Okay. So you said that it's been great to have Alex speak in to the writing journey because he's experienced with it. Talk to me about going alongside your husband and co-founder to do this massive book launch. What do you think, feel, do? What are you like continuing on for your book launch? What do you want to do with book launch? Do you want it to be the same, different? Like I want an insight into how are you seeing marketing of the book? Because he spent so long thinking about just the marketing of the book itself.

43:09Yeah. I haven't thought about it at all.

43:14I have so many people on the team that I know will have such great ideas, including him. But it's not, it's, you know, it's just the marketing's not my passion. Like I love leadership. That's all. Like I want to launch it the same way. Like, are you going to do like, okay. I have one of two things. Either I will launch it and it will, I would like to make a course with it that is very practical. Like if you're a business owner, you can go through this course. Like the course will like, almost like certify you in leadership, not paid, just like a free course. Like I want to do that. That sounds like it'll pair well with the book.

43:43And so I might just launch it and say like, this is the course I'm going to have. I put it together. It has a workbook, worksheets, all that kind of stuff. I can all get it for free. I'm not going to charge for information. That's one way. And how I would market it and stuff, I'm sure the team and I would figure that out. The other way is, you know, we have different business units that were expanding in acquisition.com and there's one that's, you know, possibly aligned with the book. So I would possibly use the book to, you know, publicize the expansion, but that's if it all lines up with timing, which is tough.

44:15Okay. Okay. And so the person ends the book, they finished reading the book. Yeah. What do you want them to think, know, or do at the end of it? Like, and then you will say, I have done what I had set out to do. I want them to be able, well, I would say this, it speaks to different levels of people. So I would say there's really like three types of people, which is like people who've never led themselves now know how to be a good teammate and lead themselves better in life. Because the way I write the book, it's not even just with business. It's just in general, it could be family, friends, church, whatever.

44:50The second outcome is that somebody who has a small team now knows how to lead not just a small team well, but they are confident they can lead a big team well. And when you say small team, how do you classify small people? Okay. A couple, like a handful. And I would say like beyond that, somebody can run a big team, feels confident that they're not just good at running a big team, they can develop leaders to lead teams for them. So it's really like a cycle of learning how to lead yourself, learning how to lead others, learning how to lead leaders, and then learning how to create leaders. And then beyond that is learning how to create leaders who create a culture that creates leaders.

45:27So it's a very, you just keep getting one step back. So there's a lot to be, it's, I built it. So it's like any spot you're in, it will benefit you. That's good. That's my hope. So I'm excited to read it. I would say that we just have more people that build companies that leave people better off, not worse than when they came in. It's like, you have no idea how many people's employees come to me, employees in general that come to me and they're like, I wish I had a boss like you. And I'm like, what's up with your boss? And they're like, this is what they said to me yesterday. It's like, you have so much power to make people's lives better.

46:03And yet we live in this age where I feel like leadership has, it was cool like 10 years ago. And I don't see a lot of new books about it anymore. Instead, it's like, how do you make money? How do you build influence? Me, me, me, me, me. What was cool for me in building a business was like, how do I help others win? Like, I don't need the credit. I want to help other people win. And I just, there's no way that the world wouldn't be better if more people felt that way. But it feels so hard to do because there's no clear instruction. So if we just have more people thinking leadership's cool, maybe somebody clicks on it on YouTube, maybe that's the outcome I want.

46:41so when Alex wrote the book, it was like, it's a series. And he always had this vision that like, it would culminate in like a hundred million dollar launch. And then, you know, it came to fruition when you set out, I want more people to care. I want more leaders that we can potentially be changing families. And then families change neighborhoods and neighborhoods change cities and cities change states and states change nation. Like, if that's what I hear, then how are you planning on getting it out there? Like, what is, what is like, I want to know now, what do you, what do you want to do? Like he wanted to do X.

47:10What do you want to do with it? I haven't focused on it yet. I'm just being honest. Like I've only focused on writing the book. When do you think it'll be out? Q1 of 2027. Oh, okay. Good. So a year from now, less than a year from now. Are you going to self-publish? Most likely. I don't like any of the publishing deals that have, what are they going to do? They're going to depend on you. They're going to ask you to do what you would do anyway, but then they're going to want to stay in it because they printed it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah, so yeah, I'm not worried about the marketing plan. Like we'll figure that out.

47:44Even with the book launch stuff, like it looks like the thinking it through and the thinking of like how we want it to all come together in this very like perfect combination was the hard part. The execution was not that hard. And the reason that was the hardest because like Alex had this plan of how he wanted all these different elements to tie together, which is what made it like a very complicated thing to do. And so, you know, we were talking about like for my book, we don't have any of that really. We haven't set out to do this. Like it's a one piece thing. There's not all these other promises that he made in the other books or things he foreshadowed or things like he had this whole system, right?

48:17I don't have that. So yeah, I don't know. Well, I'm excited. Also probably just don't want to, it's not somewhere I spend a lot of time thinking about. I feel like we have so many people on the team that are so good. I'll be, I'll go to them. What do you guys think I should do? I'm excited. I'm just excited to see how it gets out into the world. Okay. So I have about 10 minutes with you and I think it'd be remiss. So I put it out on social media and I had sent a newsletter and I will say, girl, your name is like ClickBee. Like you put your name somewhere and everyone's like, I want to know, I want to know.

48:46So I would be remiss if I didn't ask questions. So do 10 minutes flash fire questions of what you're most known for. I came in and be like, like Layla. Layla, the human being today who's like literally so different. Like I hear it and I feel it and I'm millions of miles removed from you. And so I just love this version of you. So I just want more of that. So we'll get into questions because if I ask and people deliver, then I'm going to speak on the path. Of course, yeah. Okay, good. So we're going to do Layla's Greatest Hits, Flashfire Edition. Number one, how do you build a culture where employees can still tell you things you don't want to hear?

49:19Reward them when they tell you things that you don't want to hear. Give me an example. So if somebody comes to you and they say, hey, I wanted to tell you that I got another job offer and I'm actually considering it. First reaction from a lot of people is like, well, then you can take it. You know, something like, Like, I'm going to get back to you. I'm going to make you feel bad versus like, thanks for telling me. Like, can you tell me what would incentivize you to take that offer versus stay here? Like, can you walk me through the decision? Tell me what is there something you're not satisfied with here?

49:46And thanks for telling me. Like, I really appreciate you feel comfortable enough with me to even bring that to me. Like, it's like we punish people so often for bringing us stuff because we don't want to hear it because we want to pretend it does not exist. It exists. That stuff happens all the time. And so it's like, thank them for giving you the bad news. Because it means that they've now brought it to you early enough that you can do something about it. So anytime someone brings something down to me, the first thing you'll hear out of my mouth is, thank you so much for telling me. Easiest thing in the world.

50:14Okay. How do I know if I have a bad boss? I would say that the measurement of a boss is the team. So if there's a bad team, probably a bad boss. Unless that boss didn't build the team and they just came in and the team is now degrading. But if you look at, like, how do I measure leaders in my team? I look at the teams below them and I say, how great are these teams? Do they have a great culture? Do they help each other? Do they uphold our values? Do they get results? If those things don't exist, then that's not a good leader. If somebody's creating all those things, then they're a great leader.

50:49The question is, how do you measure a great leader? If you only measure them by results, but now not by how they get the results, then you could say that a lot of people that would probably be considered bad leaders are good leaders because a lot of people can get results. They do a lot of stuff to get those results. They don't treat people well. They don't uphold the values. They shortcut, undercutting people. There's a lot of that behavior. So it's not just about the output. It's about the inputs to get the result. And I think you have to measure them on both. But if they have both of those things, then by all means, I would say that they're a good leader.

51:19Ooh, that's so good. Okay. How do I know if I have a good boss? Would you just take the inverse of it? Yeah. Okay. What should I do if I'm smarter than my boss? Well, that's a tough one. because I would say one, you have to have a level of awareness to know are you actually smarter than them or do you just think you are? Because a lot of people are there. I mean, I can't tell you how many times someone comes to me and they tell me something. They're like, well, this over here is what's happening and I think maybe we should do this. And I'm like, yes. If I only had your perspective, I would think that too.

51:49The issue is that sometimes you don't have the same perspective as your boss. They have a wider perspective than you. So it's not about who's smarter. It's a question of do they have more perspective that you don't? Do they have information you don't have? Is that possible? And so I've seen people who think they're smarter than their boss, but once they have the same information as their boss, they come to the same conclusion. And oftentimes people who think that they're smarter than their boss, I'd say one of two camps, which is like a lot of times when people are smarter than their boss, they do something about it.

52:18And the other time is they are actually not smarter and they're just arrogant. And it's a matter of like asking yourself, do they have more perspective than me? And if they do, then maybe I should try and learn. Okay, but walk me off of this. Like this is now, this is off the script real quick. I try to hire people who are smarter than me. Yeah. So like I openly say like, yes, you are smarter than me. Like this is an issue. Well, okay. Do you mean smarter than you? Like IQ? Like they are a smarter person than you? I don't know. I was just wondering the question, but I'm like, wait, wait, wait.

52:48Or do you mean like smarter in their area of expertise? No, that's very, that's very good. I took it as they think that they are smarter. Like they have a higher IQ. They could outwork or outwit their boss. Okay. I took it the same way, but then all of a sudden I hear you talk and I was like, oh snap, like I hired just who are smarter than me all the time. Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah. Well, and that's why I say it's like it's about perspective, which is like if you were smarter than your boss, then you also might be thinking, do I lack perspective that they have? And so there's just some things that are wrong with the question.

53:20Okay. No, it was nuanced and thank you. I think we kind of did the 360. Should I quit a job with a bad boss or how would I deal with it? I mean, I think you have to ask yourself the question, which is like, do I respect myself if I remain in this job? And if you don't respect yourself in the place that you're working and like every day you kind of like chip away at your self-respect because you have to work for that person, there's nothing, no pay that's worth subjecting yourself to that. If you feel like you become a worse person and you feel worse about yourself working for them. So I would say that is how I think through most decisions if I should like stay or leave something okay so you kind of mentioned this like I think it was in one of your stories should you ever or have you ever been yelled at as a boss oh have I been yelled at yeah by like an employee or and then this person's like should you should you ever yell at your boss and then part two would be have you ever been yelled at I don't think you should yell at people in general yeah like I can't even think of a time I've ever yelled at Alex maybe like maybe in the very beginning like our first fight or something I raise my voice but like i'm not like a yelling person so it's interesting i do not think you should yell at your boss i don't think your boss should yell at you have i ever been yelled at yes in my first few jobs you know i worked at subway i worked at like this crappy water park i worked at a restaurant where the guy screamed at me because i broke a plate like i mean a hundred percent i worked in this culinary kitchen where i remember i made all these cookies and basically she screamed at me because i made them wrong even though her recipe sucked like there have been so many instances where I was yelled at and that was part of what inspired me to even write the book is like I've had terrible bosses and it made my life so and it was so unnecessary it's like they if they had just been a little nice I would have had such a better life but it's like I dreaded eight hours a day so you're you should write the dedication of your book to all your bad bosses no I'm just kidding what should I do if I work for a narcissist I hate that word what does that even mean oh yeah how many people throw that word around all the time like it's a narcissist I'm like okay it's not about if i work for a narcissist it's do i lose respect for myself in this job it's about you it's not about the person so like you either leave the situation or you stay in the situation which one will i would say like in which scenario do you have more respect and confidence that's that's the only frame i use i do not label people because we do not know and we all have different interpretations of labels.

55:49So it's like, ugh, you know? So good. So good. Okay. And what do you do when your co-worker is incompetent, but everybody loves them? Oh, a good personality hire. Yeah. It's funny. My first version of the book, I had like just lessons and it was like, likeness finds you from incompetence. People that are very likable usually get by by being likable, not by being competent. But you're so, it's the thing about human attention, right? you see how charming and likable they are and you're just paying attention to that because it's a positive thing we like positive stuff we want more of it but then you don't notice that they're kind of not even that good at their job it's very common i try really hard when i'm hiring to be like see past this because i actually i hired somebody like 2016 actually to be like our director of media before we knew that was it was more marketing and that person was so likable and so incompetent.

56:41But I didn't see the incompetence because I was blinded by the likeness. Like I just liked them so much. It was like somebody I want to hang out with, be friends, it was so nice, so cool. And then I was like, oh, so incompetent. It's like you have to be able to narrow your perspective at times. Okay, but let's talk about this practically. I'm interviewing somebody and I just, I'm vibing. I like, what are you actively saying to yourself to separate, like, do I like them or can I see them for how competent they are? I think even when you like somebody, you have to have another interview because it's like a lot of times you're just, you know, vibing with somebody.

57:10That's when I'm like, I need a second interview to just like ask the questions, the technical ones. And most of the time when I'm interviewing, especially like C-level, I have like a scorecard for them. It's like, okay, here's the must-haves. Here's the weight of each of those things. Where do I score them? That helps me a lot because then it's like I'm not using my bias to make the decision. At the end of the day, I like competent people more than anything. That's right. Like truthfully though. So that's super helpful. Okay, last three questions are going to be about you and Alex. What is your favorite thing about Alex and would you change anything about him?

57:43My favorite thing about Alex? There's a lot of things. Well, you could share them all. Yeah, I'm like, it's hard to pick like one thing. Like I really love like his quirkiness. Like it's probably less on social media, but like he's just so forgetful of like things. Sometimes it's funny, like our first year dating. Like, and I don't take offense to this. Like he forgot my birthday. he'll forget his birthday he'll forget his socks one day he almost walked out of our house he just forgot that he wasn't dressed like it's so funny because he's just so i'm like i'm never gonna label it add or adhd or whatever but i'm like sometimes i'm like a homeboy where's your shirt or like did you like he just forgets right we'll go somewhere like oh forgot all my clothes for the trip i'll forgot this like it's just it's funny and he also doesn't care like he's just oh don't care like it is what it is which i love he just lets stuff roll off so that's probably my favorite thing about him.

58:35And would you change anything about him? No. The only thing that I told him I would change is shower more. And he does now. Okay. Okay. Okay. What do you think Alex's favorite thing is about you? And what would he change about you? Favorite thing about me? I would say his favorite thing about me is probably that I don't judge him for anything. So I don't judge him. I don't try to change him. I have never tried to change him or even suggested to change. I barely express my preferences. I don't even tell him what I like with his like anything because I just want him to be like completely himself.

59:09I want him to feel like free because I think the only way to keep a relationship long term is they should feel just like they have total freedom in the relationship. I would say that's probably his favorite thing. And I would say if he could change something about me, he'd probably be like, she could like give a few less. That'd be nice because it's like he gives very little. I give a lot of and we, you know, so. Lastly, you've talked about your IVF journey. What is one of the things you look forward to raising a child with Alex? Everything. I think, I mean, honestly, I think more of the reason of me wanting to have a kid is because I want one with him.

59:46It's not about like just wanting a kid in general. It's like I would like a child with him. The experience of doing that together. It's like something like, especially it sounds weird, but like in the business, the business is so big now. We don't even work on like all the same projects anymore. And it's like, I love working together as a team. and I think that we would do it really well. And I think that, you know, just the thought of like taking a little kid to the park, you know, having a holiday together, taking him to my family's house, like that all sounds like awesome. So I would say all of it.

1:00:17Team Hormozy, I love it. Thank you so much. You came in and you said you can ask me anything and I felt complete ease to do that. Thank you for letting people in and seeing all of it and adding more color to stories we might've heard before, but from an entirely different perspective. I can't wait for your book to drop I can't wait for more people to see you I can't wait to become a better leader selfishly Thank you so much for doing this I appreciate it You have been like a 12 out of 10 You're incredible Thank you Thank you Laila That's really sweet of you That's awesome I want to say thank you You For watching and listening to The Jasmine Star Show