What Pursuing a Big Dream Really Looks Like with Marcus Murphy

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0:38Welcome to the Jasmine Star Show. Ladies and gentlemen, we're doing something a little bit different and it is different because I'm starting off with a test of a co-host series. And I'm going to start this series with none other than a brilliant, kind, hilarious, funny, well, don't say, I'm not going to just plug your ears, plug your ears. Cause I can't say nice things to him because you know, I mean, his ego might not, but yes, the head is progressively getting bigger over time. So excited to introduce you to Marcus Murphy, one of the smartest, kindest, brilliant men that I've had the opportunity to befriend and then now call an industry peer.

1:09We are going to be introing this series with Marcus. We'll get into the backstory of how and why it started, but thank you. Did you just bring people on here to cry? Is that what you're trying to do? I feel like you're trying. You're just like, this guy's great and he has the music comes out of Arms of the Angels. No, I'm so obviously excited to be here and anytime that you would ever invite me, it's just an honor. Okay, so we're going to get down to business. We're going to talk about a lot stuff we are probably gonna get a little mushy too because we go back we go back but let's start the story here let's start the story about if it's cool with you yeah i hit you up randomly i'm in santa barbara with jd and luna and it's like probably five o 'clock in the morning west coast but your message was hilarious okay tell me because your message was like hey marcus i'm thinking about this thing about like a co-host thing for our podcast and uh do you know anyone and then you just like hug up and i went wait a minute like you knew that that was gonna hurt my soul because here's the thing you know me like i don't want to come out and like straight up ask for things so i hint like hey you know do you like blue skies you know do you know of anybody brilliant who's like a great conversationalist who might funny and like who wants to go deep devilishly handsome too oh gina gina did you hear that let's talk about gina let's talk about gina okay so i was gonna start about us being co-hosts of the podcast but let's go back okay let's go way Let's go way back.

2:26When Marcus, I get an email from a stranger on the internet. Yeah. A broke stranger. A broke stranger. But I actually didn't know how broke you were. The levels of brokenness. It's like, okay. Yeah, it was definitely the brokest I've ever been in my life. But that email was full of all the joy and all the substance. But yeah, I just took a shot. Shot my shot. Yeah, shot your shot. So backstory, JD and I, photographers, building our business online. I got an email from a guy named Marcus saying that he was going to marry his dream woman. What wonderful woman who made you better. Yes. And I have to tell you, as a person who reads, I know a good writer.

3:05And I read this email and I was like, I know I am being marketed to. I was like, whoever this guy is. I just wrote really good sales copy. It was the best. I was sold. You didn't even know how big your gift was back then. It was so nerve wracking. So at the time, Gina was a missionary in Thailand and we didn't have any money. And I was just trying my best to be like, I know that this is so important because at the time she was a photographer and she was following you and she loved you. And I remember it was interesting because she loved your photography, but it was your blog, right? She loved reading.

3:36Speaking of good writers, everybody in the world, Jasmine Starr, I knew that if I could gift her with one thing, it was like worth trying to get the person that she loved and admired and felt connected to. And I knew that would just make the day special. So when I shot my shot, I was like, I better write this like 15 times. I read it and I was just like, I don't know who this guy is. And I don't know who this girl is, but I'm like, I need to shoot this wedding. Yeah. That was a crazy thing. And so we are in Orange County at the time and the wedding was in Syracuse. Yeah. And I'm like, I had a full amazing Syracuse, New York, everybody.

4:07So yeah, absolutely. Gorgeous. Yeah. Destination. Yeah. Yeah. You sold it. You shined that little pebble that it was. It only rains 300 days out of the year. And it rained on your wedding day. It did rain on our wedding day. It was one thing to be expected. Which was lucky. But here's the thing. We met, and through the correspondence of us preparing for the wedding, we got to know each other. And then JD and I shot your wedding. We had a blast. And you pulled us out into the dance floor. Oh, gosh. I acted like I walked up begrudgingly, but it was just like, please. You wanted it. I did. I brought a separate pair of shoes.

4:37I was like. This is such an early day, too. How long have you and JD been married at that time? What was the year of the wedding? So 2009. We had been married four years. Yeah. That's wild, right? I know. Gina and I have been married for 14 years. And I think that it's funny because I look back at that photo. I have the photo of us on the dance floor. Yes. And I just remember sitting there going like, not only these people bless us, but if you look at it now from like this freight train that we've been on to this moment where I pulled up to your front door and sat down for this interview, there's some crazy universe stuff going on, right?

5:08And I think that's why maybe all that happened, right? Absolutely. It did happen. And I don't believe that anything happens without a reason. And my mind couldn't think of the reason being this big and us coming like this far together and still like being able to maintain a relationship to where like we cool, we tight, but we're not like somebody who's like, oh, I'm texting you every day. Yeah, but do you know what's really interesting is like as you rose and there was probably a lot of people that wanted something from you or there was always people that were trying to text. And it's funny because as I've gained any notoriety at all, I feel like there's also those genuine relationships where it's like when we link up, it's meaningful.

5:40And when we're not, there's no real like, it's great because that makes it so much more authentic for me. So yeah, we had like our, every time we were together was always great. But also at the same time, I was always like just from afar loving and watching and rooting you on. Yeah, I'll never forget. JD and I were in a rough spot through, our adoption process was, we just didn't know. We were always waiting. We were waiting and waiting. And then randomly he and I are in San Francisco and I get a text message from you. And you're like, hey, bud, just thinking about you, praying for you. And it was just like, you had no idea the type of day that we had had.

6:08And I'm like, this guy, like this guy, you just very intentional with relationships. And so you and Gina were some of the first free people to be like, dude, we have a daughter and you being a girl dad, you know, and it's funny. Cause when I was, we were planning this, I have two girls for everybody. I have Lawrence who is seven and Pearl who is five and they're obsessed with Luna. They're just like, okay. Um, so are we going to FaceTime while you're there? Is Jasmine a mommy? Like all these funny questions. And I'm like, yeah, she is, but it is, it's what a amazing story to be a part of. And the fact that you like, you shared that with us so early, we just knew like Luna existed so much and like way before she showed up, you know?

6:45And then you guys held space for that. And so I just want to say thank you. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so one of the reasons. What kind of show is this? Where is the tissues, you know? No, okay. So one of the things that I'm really fascinated with, and before we started rolling, I asked you if it was okay if we talk about this. Yeah, sure. Because you and I are cool and we've always been supportive of each other without expectations of each other. Right. And so I've seen you on a wildly impressive journey. And so the Marcus who sent me an email from Syracuse, New York. Oh, yeah, dude's way too long gone.

7:16Well, we express appreciation for that brother, right? There's some building blocks there for sure. But yeah, that feels like light years ago in my mind as to who I've stepped in, like what I've stepped into. Okay, so if we look at this journey of 14 years, when I look at what you've done in 14 years, I can't help but think, what did he do? like you know when we sat down before we started rolling i was just like brother like you went from can you hook a brother up to i'm buying like 40 acres for myself in california i'm building multiple businesses well i was like i'm trying to be polite i was like brother you are rich so how do we talk about the journey that brought you here because i want to separate marcus the person and the journey and then at a different point in time maybe we have a conversation truly about the business you're working on now but like as my co-host as you ask questions.

8:03I want people to know like what is possible when they look at what is a seemingly impossible situation. Yeah. So I think the biggest change was that it was always in me, right? The abilities were always there, but I don't think I accepted them. I don't think I wanted them. I think I pushed everything away. I said, Oh, that's not me. Like it couldn't be. And I grew up poor. Like that's tough. When you grow up single mom, household, like classic dad gone story, all that, we were always struggling for money. And so my mentality around money was It's just like, I don't deserve it. And clearly, right.

8:34Or I don't have it. And there was a lot of shame with that and kind of feeling like I didn't know one ever taught me about money, so I shouldn't have it. And then when money started coming was only when I walked first into action. So it's like really interesting you said that, but I feel like emotions and all these things that we want usually happen after you take a, like on the other side of fear. And so for me, I knew that if I was going to do anything, I had to kind of step out and be like who I'm supposed to be. and I had to spend some time and figure out who that is. And when I realized that I fit into a world as a speaker and a host and as a entrepreneur and that became more of my identity, I realized that the money followed.

9:11It followed all of that. And then opportunity and then people. Oh my gosh, I would say people was probably more important. As I started putting myself out there and putting my story out there, I actually think, Jasmine, the measure of great stories are the ability for people to insert themselves into them. And I think that I finally told the right story. And I feel like everybody started to come around it and find themselves in that story and start to propel that story. And it got faster. And then all of a sudden now it's like, oh, well, who was that guy 14 years ago? Yeah. Because I know who he is, but I couldn't look at him and be like, wow, you weren't ready then for this.

9:47You couldn't step into this. Okay. No, you weren't ready for this. Yeah. Before we get to this and actually like unveil like who this version of you is, like, let's go back. Would you say like your first step out iteration version of yourself was when you were working at Yelp? Yeah. Okay, so let's start that story there. Okay. So it's funny because Yelp wasn't anything. Yelp was like the yellow pages. We had to tell people, no, it's the yellow pages online. We were like trying to teach people about the internet, right? And but I remember taking that job because we want to have a family. We had the business together.

10:17but I kind of like Gina was ready to have a different life and be a mom and just like try to figure that out. So it really was like, okay, what am I going to do? And I literally, you guys are in San Francisco. So we were in Phoenix first and then, and then, and then Yelp took me out to San Francisco because I went through that organization, like a missile it felt like, but I started out as like a salesperson kind of account manager,$40 ,000 a year. But when I got in, it all made sense to me. It was like, it's like, have you ever seen the matrix when everything's like the green little things. I felt like I was in my world and I was like, where, where was this before?

10:50And I got in and all of a sudden I started doing really well and using relationships and I started training people and doing things. And then I started speaking and training and people were like, Oh man, this guy's different. So you're speaking and training on the inside of Yelp. Yeah. Yeah. Because somebody was just like, Hey, we're having this series on talking about the new salespeople that are coming in and who wants to speak to them. And so I went out there and I just laid it down and they were like, that's actually incredible. And all these people are pumped up and like, do you want to do more of this?

11:15And all of a sudden it got into like, we don't have a national trainer for helping us figure out the sales stuff and account management. And then they flew me out to San Francisco and I started moving quick, like through the company. And when I left, I mean, I was at a place where I felt like I even outgrew that and that I'd never felt that before. And what was the title of that role? Yeah, so that was a national account manager role that was basically like almost three years, three and a half years. Okay. And honestly, when I left that role, there was still something like tugging and being like, this isn't it.

11:46It's great. And it showed me that I'm capable of things. Were you itching to leave or did you get an invitation? Like, what did that juncture look like? So there's somebody who's listening and they don't know that they're at the beginning start of Yelp, right? Like they might be like, I'm brought in for a$40 ,000 sales job and they don't even know what Yelp is and they don't. Okay. So they get there. And then you said, I've outgrown this position. Did you start hunting or how did that pivot take? And then what was like the tools that you needed to take a leap? I would never share the person's name, but it's important to share the story.

12:16Okay. I wanted more money. And I remember sitting there being like, I'm doing all this stuff and I'm really making an impact here. I mean, I think they might from 40 ,000 to 80 ,000, that was it. Right. And when I was sitting there going, no, no, no. I think that there's like a way bigger opportunity here. And I wouldn't talk to my boss's boss's boss. Right. Because they gave me an audience and I said, I'd like this and, or else I have to probably will we move on? Because I need to support my family. And they looked at me and she said, I will never forget it. She said, well, so-and-so out there does fine on that salary.

12:51And they have a family and they have a house and they have all these things. And I was like, I'm not them. I'm not them at all. And I just remember sitting there going, you know what? Some people were going to see what I see or they're not. And I had to, I was, I forced myself to leave because I loved it there, but I knew that I had hit a ceiling. Yeah. Okay. That was a big moment for me. Okay. So that pivotal moment happens. And then what's next? Where do you go? So I have a crazy world called SaaS, software as a service. And it's like, everybody's kind of heard of Salesforce or those kinds of things.

13:22There was an up and coming company called Infusionsoft. And a friend of mine - It was a little tiny. Little tiny. Little tiny. It was. How do you get, how do you, man, you have like a - No, it's timing. I have no idea. Dude from Yelp to Infusionsoft. And it was crazy because they were at a point where they were about to blow up and I didn't even know it. So I came in and they had this thing. They're like, we kind of have like this partner. Okay, hold on. You're a king storyteller. Yeah. Do you find Infusionsoft? Does it find you? Like what happens? Like, do you see this role? Like what, talk to me about like, what are you looking for?

13:49Right. When I had the conversation where I was like, okay, I'm out. I cannot grow any further here. I can't make more money. I feel like there's something there. I started to look, but really what I did was I reached out to my network and I just said, well, who's, who has a job that they love? So I looked at people in my - Let's pause. Yeah. Instead of looking for a role, you look for people who have a job they love. Oh, yeah. Thinking what? I just wanted to see somebody that was out there being an evangelist for their company. And that's hard to find. To be honest, I rarely meet people that are coming up and be like, oh, my gosh, I love where I'm working.

14:21This is what I'm doing. It's like, no, most of the time I get a lot of complaints and people that are just kind of dissatisfied. Yeah. Smart. Yeah. Okay. So I had a friend of mine named Ryan, and he was like floored about his job. I didn't ask him about it. He was just talking about it. He's like, this place is different. They've got a dream coach. They've got, I was like, what dream coach? What's a dream coach? I'm poor. Like, what's a dream coach? And so he was unpacking all of that for me. And I was like, whoa, this business seems crazy. He goes, oh, you know what? You might be perfect for this role.

14:50And it was a partnership role. So my first time into like business development, partnerships. And of course, I approach it in my own way. Because if you're going out to do partnerships, I love connecting with people. I love being relational. But they had me come in and I walk into this building and no joke, they have a full AstroTurf football field, American football field in the middle of the building. And I was like, what is this? They have banners hanging like it's a national championship. Did you think Mecca? I arrived. I arrived. I literally was like, what? And I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I was like, this is different.

15:22And then I see this thing called the dream wall. And it was all this chalk written, handwritten dreams from all the employees that work there. And they were talking about all these different things that they wanted to do. biking around the world, taking a sabbatical for six months to, you know, take their kids somewhere, right? All those were up there. And I said, Hey, what is that? And they're like, Oh, yeah, our employees write their dreams down. We have a dream coach that works with them, even if it takes them outside the business or away from us, we want them to accomplish their dream. And we feel like they work harder for us getting to their dream.

15:50And the fact that we support it, even if they have to take them away from us, right? And I was like, I have never heard a company ever in my life articulate anything like that to me. So I was intrigued. And then I said, this is where the part that I think is great. They had their core values on the wall. They had all 10 core values right there. And I looked at that core value wall and I go, who wrote my core values down? Like who wrote those? Like, I didn't go, oh man, these are nice. I hope that I can put those on someday. I was like, somebody wrote down what I care about on that wall. So I knew that there was something different.

16:19And as I started to get into it, they had me do a presentation. I'm like, I'm going to kill it. Right. And I remember getting, wait, they have you do a presentation as part of your interview. Oh yeah. Were you prepared? No. They said on the fly, I do a presentation. Yeah, they're like, here, can you teach us something? Here's a board. I was like. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There is the version that we look back on, which is fond. And then there's reality. Like, take us back to that moment to when you say that. And of course, on the outside, because we all, I know you. Like, you're cool. Was I sweating?

16:46Yeah, I was sweating, Jasmine. I had sweaty armpits. And then. My hands were sweating. And what do you say? I just said, absolutely. And what do you teach? I went up and wrote out a formula. Do you walk really slow up to that whiteboard to be like, what can I think of in the next 15 seconds? You know what I think actually happens is I feel that when I'm at my best, I don't need a ton of prep. Like I really feel good about just showing up and being able to connect disparate dots really fast and being able to do something. Also, I've been doing a lot of this for a long time. So speaking and having something in my back pocket to be able to pull out and be like, yeah, I'm going to present this felt right.

17:21You're such a gangster though. That's okay. That's okay. No, you can own it. That's a compliment. That's a gangster. All right. But anyway, I taught this equation about like, here's what I think success is. So I wrote out this big acronym and talked about how to cast a vision and backed into it, right? And then talked about action. And then at the end of it, they go, okay, this is interesting. And then I got into the role and they said, by the way, totally offering you the job. This is great. But we want you to be on the road and like speaking in other countries and all over the place to represent our business.

17:49We feel like business development and partnerships are only going to happen because there are people like you out there that can truly articulate it. That wasn't even a role. Like that didn't exist there. And when I got into it, it was one of the best partnership roles that things have ever happened, but they just saw a skill set. And that's why I can say work for companies you love and admire because they're going to find where you fit and they're going to enable you to go fast. I'd say that's the one pivotal role I had before I met Ryan Dyson changed my whole life. Okay, so let's pause here.

18:18Yeah. I want to get into meeting Ryan and how that changed your life. there's a story like sub narrative where gina you're beautiful beautiful brilliant kind better half amazing but way better half wait we're like the 90 percent neuroscientist who deals with chronic pain i'm just gonna real quick pause on this so gina my wife is uh a neuroscientist who deals with chronic pain a genius right and went back and did all this stuff after 15 years of not being in school went back and got great like let's pause that though because i'm watching this from the outside yeah so gina pulls back from her photography career to really focus in on her family and during that time is not in school and yet decides 15 years out of not being in school, and not being a science background at all.

18:58I'm just going to go to the number two neuroscience program in the world. And where is? In England. And she applied for it and got in, which is the craziest part. But here's the part. So she's a chronic pain specialist who deals with neuroplasticity and all these words that a lot of people don't know, but it's about how there's trauma, emotional deep work that has to happen. And that pain is actually just a way of helping you or protecting you and your body. So you don't deal with your emotions. Right. So I can't stub my toe in the house. Tell me God don't have a sense of humor. Yeah. It's like, I know it's like, no, Gina, my foot's broken.

19:31She's like, do you want to talk about your dad? I'm like, no, take me to the hospital. No. So yes, Gina, way beyond light years, beyond, you know, I just, I don't even know why she's with me, but I also feel like that. Yeah. I couldn't do any of it without her. Yeah. So when you're, when you're traveling with Infusionsoft right before you're meeting Ryan, what's that home life balance? Because people listen and we hear these stories and these arcs and it's like freaking amazing and powerful, like, wow, but there's multi-facets and there are people who absorb the cost, pay the cost and invest in it.

19:59So where is she at with the girls right here? So when I went to Infusionsoft, we had just, we were just pregnant. So we, with Florence and actually Florence was born while I was at Infusionsoft, like when I was officially coming into that role. Yeah. I think that life was pretty crazy. It's like, now I'm not supporting us. I'm supporting our family. And Gina being home with Florence was awesome. It's not for everyone, but Gina wanted that. So I knew that I needed to support that. So that actually drove a ton of got to move, got to shake, got to go, right? Like step into it or don't, man, because you got to take care of your family.

20:31And we have a vision for what we want our life to look like. And that's where I think that I wanted to put that in there. It's a co-vision of how we wanted to live our life. I might've been working. I might've been the one who stepped up and did the presentation, but I was only doing that because I knew what we wanted. Amen. Yeah. Did you write a dream on the dream wall? I did. Do you remember what it was? I do. Are you okay sharing it? I can. It's going to sound insane, but I like that it's a little insane. Well, I don't hang out with normal folks. So welcome. I'm going to share it here, but listen, Jasmine Stars fan, whoever you are out there.

21:02We got fans. We got listeners. Action takers. Action takers. We got action takers. So let me just share my little, okay. My dream, my actual dream is to be a late night TV show host. But here's the thing, not in the traditional sense. Like I don't want to be Letterman, right? Because TV is kind of whatever, but that is what I want to do. I want to be that for the rest of my life. That's what I want to do. And all the businesses I build, the reason why I'm doing that is the capital to be able to get into the game anyway and have a media company and all that. But I've always wanted to do that since I was a child and I've never shared that, but I wrote that on the wall.

21:33And I remember the dream coach kind of coming over and being like, Interesting. Yeah, that no one has ever written that. Why do you want to do that? Like I was listening to Conan the other day. So two things, I'm obsessed with comedians. I think that if anybody wants to learn how to speak or be a public speaker, just be obsessed with that. Timing, delivery, humor, it's awesome. It's really good tools. But I was listening to Conan and they did, so in 28 years of being a host, they did 6 ,400 shows. Goodness. Or it might've been 4 ,600, fact check me, but it was a lot. And that means that they were literally doing a show every day, Monday through Friday.