What to Do When the Unexpected Happens

0:0010 years ago, I made the decision to build my personal brand that was elevated, yet approachable, and reflected who I was, not just what I did. I created my website with ShowIt because it's true drag and drop freedom so you can easily build and update your site. Plus, their real human support team, game changer. Want to try it for yourself? Head to jasminestar.com forward slash show it for a 14-day free trial and first month free when you subscribe.

0:38Welcome to the Jasmine Starr Show. I'm very excited to intro this podcast specifically because it's an inside look at a recent conversation I had on the inside of the social curator community. Like you may know that community is private. It's for paying users of social curator, but every so often there's a conversation that I believe I've been called to share on a greater level. And also it gives you a peek inside of the weekly conversations that we have inside of the community. So I'm in there doing group coaching at least once a month and we have guest speakers and we do Instagram ads and we have our other coaches come in and talk about strategy.

1:14We try to have at least one live class a week so people are tapping in wherever they can. Well, I've come in every single week to host what I call a mindset moment. This is just something that I have been learning in business and I'm sharing it there in the community as an inside look so that we can co-build together. So these mindset moments are really nothing to have to do with like actual marketing strategy, but the mindset it takes to be a business owner. And so these mindset moments have become near and dear to my heart. They're very short and sweet, but they've been a powerful way for me to document the journey, bring people on and share lessons so that we're growing together in the quickest amount of time possible.

1:51I recently hosted a mindset moment called what to do when the unexpected happens. And here I shared a four part framework. I'm going to share that framework with you now so that you know going in what you should be listening for because friends, this has had a radical impact in the way that I have been showing up. Step one, acknowledge the emotion. Step two, deep dive into alignment. Step three, success is the best revenge. And step four, how can I be kind to myself? These four-part framework, it might not make sense to the listening eye now. But in this quick chat, I give examples, I deepen the framework, and I give practical applications so that you could start applying this to your life and business today.

2:34I hope you enjoy this episode. Good morning, and I am so thrilled to be here because we're going to be talking about something that is near and dear to my heart. I had this fabulous conversation with an amazing group of people, and I want to focus on what to do when the unexpected happens. Life and business has a crazy way of throwing things our way. In fact, 365 days ago, because I keep a 365 day journal, I actually wrote the exact words that JD, my husband and business partner told me, quote, it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. He said that 365 days ago. And I told him because I went back to my journal today, I continue to write and I went back and I said that everything he said was true and I didn't want to agree with it then.

3:26But if I can go back to myself 365 days ago, I would use a four-part framework that I have now since learned and I practice again and again because unexpected things will expectedly happen. We must expect the unexpected and embrace that it is part of life and our business journey. So I'm gonna be sharing a four-part framework with you to help you process when the unexpected happens. And I'm gonna be focusing specifically from a business perspective. So number one of four, acknowledge the emotion. It is absolutely okay to be angry, to feel disappointed. When we acknowledge the fear, the doubt, the disappointment, everything on the in-between, acknowledge it.

4:13Because what happens was at the time I was stuffing down, feeling nervous. I was stuffing down, feeling disappointed. I was stuffing down, feeling angry. But when we acknowledge the emotion, we can then give it the space that it needs. And just because a feeling is real, the feeling is real, it doesn't make it a fact. Just because you're afraid, that is a feeling. Acknowledge the feeling. But the fear of your imagined scenario isn't real. So acknowledge the emotion and then understand that it's not a fact. Number two, deep dive in alignment. what must you do when the disappointment happens, when you focus on the big picture?

4:56So when I was at my lowest or what I felt was at my lowest 365 days ago, and my husband said, hey, it's going to get worse before it gets better. I wish I could told myself to go back and get grounded. There is a bigger picture on the horizon and whatever difficult decisions you need to make and whatever you are facing right now. Yes, it sucks. And I'm sorry. It's very hard. And I'm sorry you don't know what to do next. But when you think of the big picture, the vision of where you picture your life, your business, your trajectory, your team, your family, when you focus on those things, you come back and say, am I willing to go on one more day?

5:36That's just the main question. Am I willing to try one more day to get to the bigger picture at the end of this? Number three of four. So we're gonna review. Step number one was to acknowledge the emotion. Step number two is to deep dive into alignment. Now we're at step number three. And this one's petty. I'm just going to say this one's petty. And I'm a little bit embarrassed to admit it, but it's still my framework. So I'm just going to own it. Success is the best revenge. That's it. Whenever I am facing something that was unexpected and whenever I feel those emotions and then I get into alignment to my vision, then I buckle up and say success is the best revenge for anybody who has ever doubted you, for anybody who has ever thrown shade at your for anybody who questioned why you continue to do this thing, I will go back and say, if not now, then soon.

6:23And when I reach that pinnacle, and when I reach the thing and complete the thing I set out to do, success is the best revenge. So until I'm there, I'm gonna quiet my mouth and I'm going to do the work while people sleep. And I am gonna stay dedicated when other people are vacationing. and I am going to focus on the thing that I know to be true because when I get to that point, I won't have to say anything. My results will silence their doubts. Step number four to accepting and acknowledging when the unexpected happens is ask myself, how can I be kind to myself in this moment? 365 days ago, I was so mean.

7:09I would tell myself, you're not doing enough. What could you have done differently? Could you have avoided this? I'm sure you could have avoided this. Why couldn't you see this six months ago? Is there anything you could have done to have changed the situation? And so all I would do would be asking myself these limiting questions, things I actually couldn't answer. When I say, well, couldn't you have done things differently? I don't know. If I thought of it back then, I would have, but I kept on beating myself up instead of saying, listen, everything is teaching you a lesson. The kind thing here is to find the lesson and then improve from there.

7:46I want you, when the unexpected happens, to actually be kind to yourself and acknowledge if it was expected, you would have prepared for it. That's it. Can you trust yourself to say that if this disappointment, if this setback, if this unexpected, awful thing came up, if you would have seen it months ago, could you have not acknowledged that to be the case? So the four-part framework of what to do when the unexpected happens. Friends, step number one is to acknowledge the emotion, but a feeling isn't fact. Please remember that. Step number two is to deep dive into alignment. If you're struggling, finding that purpose.

8:27If you're struggling to get back to it, it's because the vision of your future, what you actually want to do with your business, as crazy as it seems, as unlikely as it might be, going back to that vision and saying, I must choose to get back up today. Here is one thing that I am certain of. If I stop today, I'm not getting there, guaranteed. But if I get back up today, perhaps I am one step closer to where I am supposed to be. Step three of the framework, is to understand that success is the best revenge. It's okay to get a little bit angry, to prove the doubters and the naysayers wrong. And when you are there, your results will silence their doubts.

9:17Step number four, ask yourself, how can I be kind to myself? Can you find one kind thing to hold onto and say, if you knew something was going to happen, could you have not prepared for it, but you didn't know? What lesson are you here to learn and how can you be kind to yourself in the process? Because if you choose to get back up after throwing yourself a pity party, it's okay. Remember when I said acknowledge the emotions? Early in my career, it would take me a few days. Who am I kidding? I'm going to be real. Early in my career, it would take me months to rebound from a setback. Months. And this is the sign that I have known as a person and as an entrepreneur, my rebound time is getting shorter and shorter and shorter.

10:05And so it's okay to throw yourself a pity party, to be angry. And then you say, I'm going to be angry for 24 hours. I'm going to be angry for 24 days. Whatever that is, give yourself that time and space and then buck up, buttercup. Your time has come. You've given yourself your angry time. I'm going to sit under a gray cloud. Great. You've given yourself that time. And if you choose to sit under that gray cloud for as long as it will, the only person it is truly affecting is you. So after you sat under that gray cloud, after you've had your angry time, after you've thrown yourself a pity party, party of one, now it's time for you to say, what is the lesson and how am I learning from this?

10:44So whatever you happen to be facing at any given point in time, I want to say you're not alone. I hope this four-part framework helps you and to always remember that the choice to get back up is only yours. It's okay to rest and it's okay to sit, but it is not okay to quit if you have a clearly defined vision of where you believe your life is truly calling you. This is your friendly reminder. I am so proud to sit here and do life and business with you on the inside of Social Curator. This community has really transformed the way I am showing up as an entrepreneur. And I hope the same for you. All right, friends, be blessed.

11:28Have a wonderful, wonderful day. And I am so thankful. I'm trying to end it on a high note and I'm just lumbling my words. Friends, I'm so happy you're here. I wish you all the best. Have a beautiful day. Bye y 'all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. and if you happen to be in a place where the unexpected has happened, I want you to know that you're not alone. I know it could feel that way and I know there is a temptation to shrink down instead of taking up the space that you need. Nothing would make us happier than to see you on the inside of our community as a reminder that you are not building your business alone and that every single week, I am in there talking about what it is meaning to build a business in the face of uncertainty, in the face of fear, in the face of doubt, but then also getting the tools to say, today is my day, that I will not back down today.

12:23And so we have these mindset moments in addition to group coaching and other masterclasses on the inside of Social Curator. These podcasts have always been created in a place of love as a way to encourage you. And I hope that's exactly what happened with us today. For those of you who are listening, I would love to know where you are tuning in from. So send a DM. I love connecting with listeners. you could find me at Jasmine star. And if you would like more information on social curator, you could visit us at social curator.com. I hope you have a beautiful day.