What to Do When You Catch Yourself Over-Thinking in Your Business

0:0010 years ago, I made the decision to build my personal brand that was elevated, yet approachable, and reflected who I was, not just what I did. I created my website with ShowIt because it's true drag and drop freedom so you can easily build and update your site. Plus, their real human support team, game changer. Want to try it for yourself? Head to jasminestar.com forward slash ShowIt for a 14-day free trial and first month free when you subscribe. Welcome back to the Jasmine Star Show where we discuss business mindset and today how to stop overthinking in your business. I'm going to start this episode of the podcast with a quick backstory.

0:37So when I entered into college, I declared myself an English major. I had gone to high school and I took honors English and AP English and my teachers would tell my parents, oh, she's such a strong writer. And I believe that to be true. So when I went to college, I was like, well, of course I'm going to major in English. And so my English class, my very first year of school. It was probably one of the first papers I had to write and I got it back and I had all of this like nervous anticipation like, was this professor going to think that I was talented? Was I creative enough? And when I got the paper back, it was just covered in red ink.

1:15Basically, the page was bleeding and on a note, it said, please see me in my office after class. So I walk into the professor's office and we sat and she sat across from me and she was flipping through the paper asking if I understood the structure, the syntax of writing to which I responded, well, I mean, I thought I did until I saw this bleeding paper. And then she was flipping through the pages and she had said, do you come from an immigrant family? And I stammered and I said, yes. And she says, I could tell in the way that you write. Now I'm going to preface this story by saying, I did not think that she was being like evil or mean or trying to break me down.

1:56but it totally did. I was so embarrassed. I was so humiliated. And all of a sudden I was just like, can she tell I'm Mexican by the way I write? And so immediately I had banished. It was like that day I was like, oh, I'm not going to be an English major anymore. Like people can tell my ethnicity or my ability by the way that I write. And so I knew I was going to be up a creek without a paddle if I didn't start taking matters into my own hands. And so every week I would go into an English writing lab where student teachers would help like read your papers and preview them. And so every week I would go and I would have people be reading over my papers and giving me insights.

2:35And it was then that I actually learned how to write in like a different way, like in an academic way. But that was the last time I ever thought I was an English major. And so years later, I'm sitting at a restaurant called Bandera here in Newport Beach. And I'm talking about me giving a commencement speech at my college. I was invited for the 2024 graduation to give a commencement speech at Whittier College. And my husband asked, what are you going to be speaking about? And I had this whole thing in my mind. I was like, I'm going to give this speech and I'm going to tell students that no matter what people say about you, you can blow their minds.

3:17Whatever somebody says about you, they can't hold you down. And he's like, where is this coming from? And I was like, what people say about you is they might say that you come from an immigrant family, but immigrant kids come back and give commencement speeches. And he's just like, oh, that's what you want to talk about? He's like, no offense, but I think that this is. And then I started to cry. I was literally crying because I was just like, I'm like, I don't even know what's wrong with me. I'm like, I'm just leaking. Why is it like all these years later? I'm still so embarrassed by this story.

3:48and we kind of got into this whole idea that I was carrying something that I felt deep shame about. And I also look at this deep resentment that I let somebody like change the course of my life and my husband said, yes, but if you had not changed into being a business major, he's like, do you think that you would be where you are at today? The clear answer was no, I probably wouldn't have started a business. If I had continued being an English major, I don't know what I would have done, but it probably would not have been this. And he's like, so why don't we first just express gratitude for the professor?

4:16Like she gave you a gift. And you were able to apply a different skill set in a different way. And so fine, I did. And so then we had talked about the things that I was going to talk about at my commencement speech. And what I'm going to do at the end of this episode is, in case you want to stick around for that, you can absolutely, I'm going to be posting the audio and the video from the commencement speech at the end of this podcast so that you could see what was actually came to fruition, what I felt was going to be serving people in a bigger and better way. Now, at the commencement ceremony, I was able to sit on the stage with all the other professors and I saw that professor.

4:51I saw her and I thought to myself, should I say something? I decided not to because for all of these years, all I did was overthink the things that she had said about me. And for years, I wasted so much time thinking about whether or not my writing looked like it came from an immigrant or a child of an immigrant. And now I don't care if it does. So I've made peace with it, but I spent a really long time overthinking it. And so this very short and to the point episode is inspired by my inspiring friend and peer, Jay Shetty. He created a podcast episode where he broke down the process of overthinking and how it's really just our brain's way of trying to problem solve.

5:35And I loved it. I'm gonna link it in the show notes for you if you want to listen to that episode. But what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna read his exact words to you. Just one quote, because you know your girl's an avid note taker. Here's his quote. Doubts during decision-making can quickly spiral into overthinking, paralyzing our ability to make confident decisions. It's like our brains go into overdrive trying to sort everything out, but sometimes it just ends up making things more complicated. End quote. Okay, so what can this look like specifically in terms of your business? Now, imagine you're heading into a new launch and piecing together a new marketing campaign.

6:11Now, you're planning out every little detail, but these doubts start creeping in. What if our messaging doesn't connect with our audience? What if we're spending our money in the wrong places? What if the leads we're targeting aren't qualified for this offer? What if, what if, what if? Now the problem here isn't asking what if questions. Those questions are great to ask. The problem is that the questions are snowballing into more questions and there isn't any structure to find answers which leads to overwhelm. And what does overwhelm lead to in action? So what do we do about that? Well, we need to create a structure.

6:47Here's a five-step framework that you can use to turn overthinking into problem solving. The first step is to notice when you're overthinking. Just being aware of it can help you break the cycle. It's almost like pressing pause when your thoughts are flying around in your brain. It allows you to stop just for one moment to do the next steps. The second step is to grab a pen and paper and write down those thoughts and just start prioritizing. Now, I know it sounds so simple, But trust me, when you get these thoughts onto paper, legitimately pen and paper, you get them out of your head. Because right now, these thoughts are just running wild, leaving no room for clarity or solution thoughts.

7:24So, onto the paper and then to organize by the level of importance. To do this for the marketing campaign that we just talked about in that example, I'd list by listing all of the what-if questions and the doubts that came up, which were messaging, budget allocation, target audience, and lead qualification. Once I got them on a paper, I'd rate their potential impact on the success of the campaign. So let's bring this down by an example. Issues related to messaging alignment for the target audience might be considered a higher priority than budget allocation, okay? Okay, so now that we're kind of like thinking this is the hierarchy, the third step is to create structure.

8:01The best way to do this, in my small, humble opinion, is to break it down. Take each prioritized concern and break it down into smaller actionable steps or questions. For example, if you're worried about messaging not connecting with your ideal clients, break it down into questions, maybe like what messaging resonates the most with our target audience? And what needs to happen to make all the messaging that mirrors that? The fourth step is to develop solution-based plans for each of them. Okay, so now that you have some structure, you can create plans. For example, the concern that was about that lead qualification, like what if the leads that we're targeting aren't qualified for this offer?

8:43Well, the plan might involve reviewing or rewriting the criteria for qualifying leads with a lead scoring system or creating a freebie that would attract that specific person with content directly addressing their specific needs and interests. This is something the team and I are working on right this very second. Now, in the past, we've created freebies like productivity planners, and things that would appeal to entrepreneurs at all stages. This time, we're creating a lead magnet that prioritizes one specific person. Doing this will help us better pre-qualify leads so we'll feel more confident with those leads versus leads we got through a lead magnet that was just to capture emails of entrepreneurs.

9:23Instead of going wide, we want to go really deep. And this brings us to step five, assign responsibilities and take action. It's now time to assign responsibilities and execute each step of the plan to team members or stakeholders. Something that my team does very well, and I want you to hear this very clearly, you have to have defined roles, deadlines, and expectations. This ensures accountability and progress. And without it, you can get stuck in that back of the I'm overthinking, I'm overthinking loop. I just want to say thank you for listening to the Jasmine Starr Show. At the end of this episode, I am going to be attaching the commencement speech that I had given at Whittier College in 2024.

10:04it's about nine minutes and it was the truest thing that I could have ever said to anybody embarking on a new point in your life and so even though you might not be graduating college at this very moment I hope that the tools the frameworks the resources that I shared with those graduating students are something that you could use as you graduate onto the next phase and step of your life I want to say thank you and to resist the the temptation to overthink and over complicate bring out that notebook, bring out that pen, and start coming up with things that move you into action. Every time you leave a review for this podcast or you rate this podcast, it means the world to me.

10:45And so I want to say thank you in advance. And if you haven't done that yet, please press pause, subscribe, leave a review. It would make the difference. And I wish you all the best as you venture into the next phase of your life. Thank you for listening to the Jasmine Star Show. The commencement speech will start about now. Class of 2024, your future begins now. Congratulations. I'm very honored to tell you that I sat in these exact seats. My parents, my family were in the stadium, and they were there to see me graduate summa cum laude. I was the first in my family to go to college. Thank you.

11:25How many of you are the first in your families to graduate college.

11:36We are the sojourners. We are the people who change legacies and histories. This school has given you everything you need. And forgive me for this emotion hearing Dr. Sel Johnson talk about what it means to be resilient. I stand in front of you telling you that life can get hard. I was sitting in these seats and I had no idea what to do. In fact, the first time my grandmother ever stepped on a college campus, it was here in Harris B. I had just moved in to the dorm with my twin sister and she looked around and she says, mira, oh my God, people live here. Yes, they do. And then she asked us to put on Celia Cruz and we danced and in that moment I felt invincible I felt like nothing could stop me and then we flash forward to graduation day and I'm sitting in your exact seat and if I could be honest I had no idea what I was going to do so me and my 4.0 got a job at Lucille's barbecue in Brea California

12:50oh humility tastes like barbecue baby back ribs it was there slinging those ribs and mind you I did get employee of the month thank you Whittier College I had an idea I should go to law school I should go to law school I got a full ride to UCLA and it was there during my first year that my mother had a relapse of brain cancer. She was diagnosed my junior year here at school. And I realized that for the first time in my life, I looked at her and I didn't ask what I should do. I asked what I wanted to do. And everything that I learned at Whittier College prepared me for success by learning four important qualities.

13:37I learned consistency by going to a writing lab every week my freshman year, so I could learn how to write like a college graduate. I learned perseverance in Dr. Decker's business leadership class. I will never forget the day that a student had fallen asleep and he got a small piece of chalk and he threw it at the student's head and he says, this is too good to sleep on. Dr. Decker, you were right. I learned creativity in Dr. Sal Johnston's sociology through photography class. I had never taken sociology. I hadn't even heard of that word. but we're at a liberal arts college so what do you do? You take classes you never had interest in and then you meet professors who rock your face off and find yourself interested in things you didn't know were possible.

14:23So I went for the easiest sociology class with photography and I didn't own a camera and then all of a sudden there I decide to take pictures and they called it the film development lab which was just a closet that had been converted into a dark room and I developed film for the first time in my life and at the end of the semester my photos were chosen to be on an art display in Mendenhall. That was the first time in my life that I wondered, am I creative? Dr. Sel Johnson opened up his room during the attack of September 11th when all of us students were worried about life and the world and what it looked like.

15:05We didn't have a class that day, but he looked at all of us and said, we're going to be okay. It's going to be better than you think. and Dr. Johnston, you were right. I learned determination from Dr. Jose Orozco in the history of Latin America, and I was determined to get an A in that class, and I thought it was impossible, and I looked at him, and I said, I'm gonna get an A, and he looked at me, and he said, Ms. Juarez, you don't get anything. You earned something. Dr. Jose Orozco, you were right. Consistency, perseverance, creativity, and determination are all the things you need. And they're all the things that I need.

15:47Because I don't know where you're at right now, but if you feel uncertain, and if you feel unsure with what you're going to do next, I am telling you, you have all the tools, because Whittier College has given you everything you needed. I needed consistency when I dropped out of school, and I became an internationally recognized photographer. I had never owned a camera, and I learned it on Google. You can learn anything you want because they teach you how to think here. I needed perseverance when I began creating digital resources for entrepreneurs about business strategy on the back of Google.

16:18I needed creativity when I expanded into a consulting business and somebody says, have you ever consulted? And I said, no. And they said, how much do you cost? And I said, how much do you have? And I said, funny, that's what I charge. Because we can figure it out because that's what poets do. We're gritty and we're scrappy. And I will tell you that I needed determination when I created a tech company social curator and I didn't know development or a line of code and I didn't know that most tech companies get funded and the amount of women who get international or venture capital is less than 1 % and the amount of brown women who get that is less than 0.7.

16:54The odds are always going to be stacked against us and you want to know what we're going to do. we will be determined because that's what poets do.

17:10I'm going to tell you this is not about me because you're going to need the same tools. You will face a lifetime of moments when you're going to have to ask yourself not what should I do but what do I want to do because that is the only way you are going to find out what you were supposed to do in your life. That is the only way you will find purpose. Because I believe you were put here with intention. I don't believe you chose this school happenstance. I believe that this chair had your name on it since the day you were born. But now the opportunity comes and asks yourself, what are you going to do with it?

17:43Will you squander the luxury and the gift of education in this beautiful country? Or are you going to say the odds will be stacked against me and I'm going to step out to figure out what my fullest potential is? And I'm going to tell you, you will be faced with difficulties and you will be faced with fear and you'll be faced with doubt and you'll be faced with opposition. And at these hard moments, when you are rejected, when you are denied, when you are ignored, and when you are looked over, you might ask yourself like I did before, what is this all for? I am here to tell you that your purpose isn't present.

18:20It's not today and it's not next week and it's not next year. Your future is generational. My grandmother was born in a tiny hill town in Puerto Rico, a place that didn't have running water. She moved to East Los Angeles to work in a sweatshop, taking three buses to work after dropping off her three kids at school, one who had special needs. And there she sat in front of a sewing machine and she made basketballs in the summer and bikinis in the winter, making things that her children would never buy, use, or wear. She returned home exhausted every single night to make dinner and put her kids to bed.

18:56And she woke up and did the same thing the next day and the next day and the next day and the next day. I look back at that story and I wonder if she ever thought to herself, what is this all for? Little did she realize that decades later, her work and her sacrifice would create opportunities that she never had for herself. she walked alone to the bus stop so one day she could dance in Harris B she sewed until her fingers were numb so that one day her granddaughter wouldn't just graduate college but would come back and give a commencement speech I want to remind you that there will come moments where you need to ask yourself not what you should do but what you want to do and when that happens you might even ask yourself what is this all for but please remember you have all the tools you need.

19:49Consistency, perseverance, creativity, and determination. May you go out into the world and make mistakes so you learn lessons. May you refrain from spending time in triumph or disaster. And one day, may you turn on your favorite song and find yourself dancing in the celebration of the future you built, not just for yourself, but for future generations. Felicidades. is. Congratulations, poets. You did it.