Your Habits Create Success

0:00Plans help us stick with habits. And when we stick to our habits, our brain will go into autopilot and then it simply believes this is what we do. This is our accomplishment. This is how we become who we say we are. Are you familiar with the freshman 15? You know that kind of like typical idea that when you go away to college your freshman year, statistically you'll gain 15 pounds. Well, if you can believe it, it was the opposite for me. I experienced the negative freshman 15, which I know isn't something most people brag about, but it was just my reality. So let me back up for a second. I've been pretty open about my struggles with my weight.

0:35Like if you've been watching the show for a while, you know. They started very young and I didn't change how I approached my health until I was in college. That was the first time in my life that I actually considered what I was eating because I had a choice. So growing up in an immigrant household, you ate what was in front of you. And there weren't a lot of options for anything or anywhere else. It's not like I was opening the refrigerator and having this litany of options. It was simply, you ate what mom made you, and then all of a sudden, a crazy thing happened. Oh, I could choose what I ate for breakfast in the cafeteria.

1:07Now, in the beginning, it felt like Thanksgiving every day. Like, I could have a bagel and cream cheese, a fruit smoothie, a bowl of cereal. Now, in the beginning, I ate all of those. And oftentimes, I ate them all at the same time. Well, I know, okay. When I started noticing the way that my friends were eating, oh, I began to observe, they made different choices. They weren't eating what they wanted. They were eating what they thought was the best thing for them. Now, I know that that sounds so simple, but to me, it was mind-blowing that I had the ability to choose what was better for myself.

1:39I know, it sounds silly. That was the first time I started understanding the power of habits. What I realized is that when I went back home over Christmas break, I fell into the old habit of eating what was in front of me, not choosing to eat what was best for me. And for the first time in my life, I realized that habits were something I chose and that habits are something I could change. When I started studying my habits, I realized that there's something called the habit loop. What research tells us is that every habit in our life, about 40 to 50 % of what we do every day is a habit. Okay. So according to the number one habit expert, his name is Charles Duhigg, every habit has three parts.

2:21A cue, which is like a trigger for the automatic behavior. the routine, like what's a routine for me? Well, I was picking up unhealthy breakfast food or having a choice to eat something else. When we make that decision, it delivers a reward to us. So every habit in your life delivers a reward to you, whether you're aware of it or not. Now, over time, our brain begins to associate this cue, this routine, and this reward. And it comes in like a little package that happens almost automatically inside of our brain. Those three things. Okay, so let's pause and we're gonna move this over. A researcher at MIT by the name of Dr.

3:00Anne Grabeel, you know, she's done a lot of research around habits. And what she's found is that if you create a habit, let's say like in a rat's brain and they're running a maze, and then you remove it from the maze for literally years, and then you bring that same rat and you drop it in the maze again, the habit reemerges instantly. It's because of this cue, routine, reward. So there's these neural pathways that are associated with those three things. And they have gotten thicker and thicker and thicker over the years. Okay, so when you start to stop a habit and you just say, I'm going to stop eating bad breakfast foods.

3:36I'm just going to white knuckle it and I'm going to give it up the way I would give up cigarettes. Well, it's hard to do because that neural pathway, it still exists. You still have that craving. You still have that urge. Now, the key is not to try like to extinguish the habit, like kill it immediately. Instead, you don't want to kill the habit. You want to change it. You won't make it disappear. You're going to change it. Now, it might not be easy, but it's actually quite simple. So you're going to find a new behavior like eating healthy breakfast foods that corresponds with the old cue and that delivers something similar to the old reward.

4:13So when you do this, you're going to be overriding the neural pathways inside of your brain. So we're going to pause and you're like, Jasmine, this is a business podcast. Why are you out here talking about your freshman 15 and what you eat for breakfast? Listen, I'm talking about habits. As a business owner, all business is, is a habit and business. Let me just be real, like one-on-one with you, like on the real running a business. If kids are around, plug their ears. It sucks. Running a business sucks. But then every so often you get this dopamine hit of goodness. And that's the thing that keeps on going.

4:47So what I've realized is that if I am in the habit of doing things I don't want to do to get that finite reward, I just gotta keep up the habits. And the more I keep up the habit to get that reward, the more quickly I can be moving through it. Are we on the same page? Like I'm the rat in the maze that you put me back into business. I'm gonna be like, what? Here we go. Okay, so now let's go back to the habit expert. His name is Charles Duhigg. Now he wrote a book that was so good, y 'all. It's called The Power of the Habit. So he writes about something called a keystone habit. This means that when you focus on a new habit, that will be the singular most important thing to create a new habit.

5:23So for example, when I entered the cafeteria, my keystone habit was to start with something hot for breakfast. In the past, I might've chose cold cereal or fruit smoothie, which didn't have much nutritional value and really wasn't setting me up for my success. My new keystone habit was to eat something hot. Now it could be oatmeal, it could be an egg omelet, but it had to be hot. Another keystone example might be if you really wanted to run and train for a marathon, then maybe you set shoes next to your bed every morning so that they serve as a reminder of your goal and how you're going to change the old habit into a new habit.

5:59Say like running every day to train for a marathon. The more regular you become with your keystone habit, it becomes something you don't even think about anymore. So next thing I knew, I wasn't even craving cold cereal in the morning. I wanted something that nourished my body and no longer that I considered a new habit. It was just my habit. It was my normal habit now. Essentially, I wanted to make those decisions and behaviors so automatic that I didn't have to decide, hey, what am I going to eat? It's already decided. I didn't have to decide if I was going to work out. I simply did it. And I did it again and again.

6:32And that new habit became normal. As a teenager, I realized that the more I changed my habits, the more I change my life. And now, decades later, as an entrepreneur, I have created habits that are just the norm. Now, they're not easy, but I don't consider it an option anymore. I don't have to decide to post on social media to market my business. I don't have to decide to sit down and pound out a bunch of emails that I've been thinking about. I don't have to sit down and say, now it's time for me. No, no, no. These things just happen because of the habit I created. And as a result of those habits, it feels much easier.

7:06Now, I know this sounds very simple and basic, but in a real way, it gives me a sense of accomplishment. Responding to emails, responding to text messages, and posting on social media is not a big accomplishment. But when it's done, I get to say, this is who I am. This is the decision I make. This is how I prove to myself what I stand for. And that's really rewarding. It actually gets to another thing that's really interesting about psychology. And this is known as revealed preferences versus stated preferences. Okay, so oftentimes when you ask people, do you want to exercise every day? They say, yes, I want to exercise every day.

7:42It's really important to me. But when we look at their behavior, they exercise like once or twice a week. The revealed preference is actually different than the stated preference. Now, our brain pays attention to that. Our brain is actually kind of skeptical to our stated preferences. Like, I want to stop smoking, but what you do is actually smoke. There's the stated preference and the actual preference. Your brain doesn't care about what you say. Your brain cares about what it is you do. This act of posting on social media or clearing out my inbox every day isn't that big of a deal. Because if I don't do it, it's not like my business is going to fall apart, right?

8:18It's not just about posting on social media or having a team meeting or clearing out my inbox. It's about revealing to myself, proving to myself that I am the entrepreneur who will do those things. I'm the kind of person who wants to align my stated and my revealed preferences. I want my brain to know that what she says, she actually does. And that's powerful because if we make a habit of doing things, even things we don't like, soon it will get easier. Not because it is easier, but our brain isn't fighting back anymore. Our stated preference and our revealed preference are now the same. So since the beginning of the year, I have been a guest on over 20 podcasts and on every episode, every single one, the host has asked me, how do you make content creation look so easy?

9:04Every single one of my responses has simply been to admit they are not easy. Creating content, writing content, recording content, editing content, even right now, having this conversation on my podcast, it's not easy. But my stated preference and my revealed preference is that I will make a plan and I will stick to it so that I am creating ways for me to help and connect other people. In the process of that, I'm also building my business. So I want to be very clear. This episode isn't about like breakfast cereal or social media or content or marketing. It's about building habits. Because this is a business podcast, I will talk about the habits I've built in relation to my business, but I really apply this truly in every aspect of my life.

9:50I don't enjoy going to the gym, but my habit is to go five or six days a week. I don't like meal prepping, but my habit is to do it once a week so I have a refrigerator full of healthy options. I don't like meetings, but every Monday I dedicate a full day to them so I can focus on other elements of the business the rest of the week. These are all a series of habits that I have created to make sure I am living the life I want and I'm building a business I'm proud of. If you'd like to build more habits in your life that empower you to align your stated preferences and your revealed preferences, is, let's break this down as a brief recap, right?

10:26Let's make sure that we're taking action. If you want to stop a habit, you don't simply like white knuckle it and say, I'm going to stop right now and never think about it again. I'm going to immediately change. Now, the key is to replace the old habit with the new habit. Remember, that's called a keystone habit. Now, it's important that we're very conscious of this habit that we are going to be replacing because what we focus on helps us remain consistent and intentional. Okay. So we're going to replace the old habit with a keystone habit. That's it. That's it. Now, the second part is to ensure that your stated preference, what you say you want and your revealed preference, what you actually do are the same.

11:07So this is how we get our brain to trust that we are going to say what it is we're going to do. So let's break this down with a really simple, it's a little bit silly example. if your goal as a business owner is to create content and post on social media five days a week and you're currently posting just once a week, I want you to examine what habit you are currently doing, right? What is the habit that you're doing? And then I want you to focus on the habit you're going to replace it with. Okay. So for example, if you find yourself scrolling for 20 or 30 minutes in the morning on social media or any other app, that's the old habit.

11:44The old habit is I just scroll and I numb. Now we're going to replace this habit, right? We're going to replace that old habit of scrolling with a new keystone habit. Now, in order for us to do that, we have to identify what is that keystone habit. So let's say for the sake of this example, it's going to be to post on social media that day. You're going to have to replace the scrolling on social media with creating for social media. And in order for you to do this, you actually have to create a plan. So we're going to be substituting the old habit of scrolling and we're going to replace it with the new habit of creating.

12:18In order for us to create, we need a plan to create. Plans help us stick with habits. And when we stick to our habits, our brain will go into autopilot and then it simply believes this is what we do. This is our accomplishment. This is how we become who we say we are. I am who I am because of the habits I have cultivated for most of my life. The old habits I created weren't getting me to where I want to go, and they weren't helping me become the person I wanted to be. The minute I identified what type of business do I want to have, what kind of person do I want to be, I needed to make sure that I built habits to get me closer to that.

12:56I aligned my stated preferences with my revealed preferences. Please, every time you see me post on social media, or every time you watch a podcast, or any time you see me give a keynote presentation on a stage, please know none of it was easy ever. And in the same vein, please know that it's the daily habits I've cultivated that helped me do that. I'm not special. I'm not unique. I'm not gifted. I just stand by my habits. And that makes me proud. And it also makes me very excited and hopeful for you to do that. Like, I hope it makes you hopeful that me, a very ordinary person, can get extraordinary results, not by luck, but out of habits.

13:38You don't have to be lucky, babe. You got to build good habits. That's what I genuinely hope this episode lays out for you because it's the habits in entrepreneurship that really defined where people get to go. I have firmly believed that you don't have to be the most talented and you don't have to have the newest idea and you don't have to be first to market. I believe that the quality of your habits determine the quality of your business. And I'm coming out and I make no apologies and no beefs about it. If you're not getting the results you want, I'm going to question what kind of habits do you have?

14:10I am not so much of a drinker. I am not so much of a smoker. I don't even watch TV. I have cut out things that don't get me closer to my goal. And the habit was not just to stop drinking or stop watching TV. The habit simply was, who is the person I want to become? What is that person kind of doing? And am I building the habits to get me there? So I would love to hear from you. Please send me a DM on Instagram, at Jasmine Star. I want to know what is your new habit. I want to clap you up. I want you, and studies actually show, let's nerd out about this, studies actually show that if you tell somebody you're going to do something, it makes you that much more inclined to actually do it.

14:45So if you don't have anybody else or you just literally want to tell me this is my new habit, I will clap you up. I want to know what habit you decided to create after listening to the show. Speaking of the show, thank you so much for watching and listening to The Jasmine Starr Show.