#2001 - Gabriel Iglesias

29:33Oh, man. Yeah Yeah Yeah, when you have a car that's it's over 40 years old. Yeah, you get used to the smell of gas. Yeah, they stink of gas And then you think at first it's leaking and no, it's not that's just the way that the car smells back then Yeah, you breathe in infumes You're getting the headache. You see smell the oil and smell the gas But rest of my don't like rest of mods like what I was showing you the the Land Cruiser when they use a modern crate engine They can just change it completely. Yeah, so it looks original, but it drives it handles like a modern car That's what I like. I just like the there's the character of those cars that's undeniable Like if they made one today like that, I would say I would want to buy one Like if they made a rest it like if they can't do it, which is kind of crazy Because like you could buy one from a company like Roadster Shopped they made me a 1969 Camaro But you can't buy a 1969 Camaro from Chevy like if Chevy said look we're gonna make a 1969 Camaro So I'm gonna have any airbags.

30:31It's gonna have disc brakes But like you know six piston disc brakes and we're gonna do a modernite suspension But it's going to be a 1969 Camaro, but it's gonna be a 1969 Camaro with a 2023 Camaro engine and all the electronics and all that jazz people would buy it like crazy But you can never get away with it because regulations wouldn't allow it. Yeah And then living in California all these men, you know hard it is. We'll do getting small Yeah, so all my cars are 1974 and below. Yeah, just because I don't want to deal. Yeah That's good. I don't want to deal. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that funny? Like as long as they're old they can just pollute like crazy Yeah, you know This episode is brought to you by Buffalo Trace Distillery actually have some Buffalo Trace cigars here They just sent me one of the world's most award -winning distilleries that's been making whiskey the same way for more than 200 years Made as a tribute to the rugged free spirited pioneers who blaze their own trail To new frontiers it embodies the perfectly untamed spirit of independence It defines what an award -winning bourbon should be aged nearly twice as long as competitors in new charred white oak barrels and bottled at 90 proof Buffalo Trace is the perfect bourbon to be enjoyed in any way anywhere and the taste It's damn good.

32:03It's bold and sophisticated yet incredibly smooth Finishing long and deep. It's authentically American Representing uncompromising quality for the rugged the powerful and the passionate tap the banner to learn more or visit Buffalo Trace distillery dot com that's Buffalo trace distillery dot com Distilled aged and bottled by Buffalo Trace distillery 90 proof Franklin County Kentucky Buffalo Trace American family owned Independent and perfectly untamed I just think it's interesting that you know as time goes by they don't move the they don't move the needle like they still keep it at 1974's like come on Well, yeah, I think that's because it's almost impossible like if you want to get like a 1974 Porsche and you want to convert it to modern standards of exhaust I wonder what they would even have to do it might ruin the car Yeah, you know, it's gonna take away from the originality of it But is it gonna make it a better driver you're gonna have more fun with it?

33:08Yeah, I don't think so I mean it I think they would have to like I know they do restomats with those old Porsches But I think they just take everything out and put all modern shit in you know They just kind of remain but even then I think it's still held to the same standard of a 1974 car Like as long as it's you know like the exact the the Venn number and everything is from that age Even that's you're kind of lying. It's kind of not really a It's not a car You know, it's really a 2023 car. Mm -hmm. Like if you had a 74 Porsche built by some Madman like made you this wicked air -cooled engine and so you're driving around in 1974 car that's got all brand new parts Yeah, but they're still gonna hold you to the rules.

33:48Yeah I I did do a with one of my Volkswagen's I actually did a it's called a Subaru swap So I took out the engine from the Volkswagen and I put an a Subaru turbo engine in it Oh, it's because it fit perfectly. Oh wow And so now that car is like it it's fast. It is super fast and it's quiet I saw a video online see if you can find this it was a Ford an old Ford Econoline van that they put a supercharged Coyote engine in oh wow So it's this those ones where your face is like right at the windshield you ever see those yeah, it's like such a flat faced weird thing But he's got this crazy fucking supercharged Coyote Mustang engine and it's just With an Econoline.

34:35Yeah, some of these modifications. They don't really you know They're not worried about the height or you know You got to put everything else in there to match so they can handle right to do it just for funsies Nobody really needs an account. No, but I need a supercharged fucking Coyote engine in like I heard anywhere I heard a rumor that they were gonna make a hellcat minivan And I'm like, you know what I think I'm down I think come down No, this is in it. It's actually even older than that. That's a 1970 one But that one someone did the same kind of thing too. Oh, they made that one a sleeper.

35:08That's interesting They kept that one kind of looking real stock on the outside the other one was like a tan one Is like a tan Econoline van, but it was a really old one the real flat faced front ones Yeah No worries. I should have saved it someone sent it to me on Instagram slayers Yeah, but I just always thought it was funny that you picked at one car. So I always wanted to know it was It was just one of those things where I really liked it and I started Making every single color that they came out with and then I ran out of I use the entire palette. Yeah, and so then we just started having fun creating our own color schemes.

35:49Oh really? Oh, that's awesome. Do you drive them? Yeah, you take them all they all work I try not to take them on the freeway. I mean, there's a couple that are like really really good on the freeway But most of the time I just rather keep them on the streets and they've all broken down They've all left me on the side of the road at one point in time Because if you're not driving them every day, you're gonna have issues with them for sure You know, so I got a team that's like all right. I'm going for a drive beyond beyond standby I won't take them out at at times when I don't have people that I can get a hold of at the 50 plus year old cars And they're stock and when you're When you're saying you have some that are good on the highway, would it most of them have what a force cylinder in them?

36:26Draw for all for all for all time. They're all for bolts to put those engines in really? Yeah, it's like a you know Big lawnmower. So the one that does better though on the highway is it just a stronger engine just healthier? I think that um because it's the one that gets driven more like my favorite one to drive is a That I have it's a called a bay window and it's the generation that came after the split So the the buses had that little widows peak in the You know the two windows That's 1960 that stopped at 1967 and then 1968 was the full size windshield And so a lot of the components everything was more User -friendly it was more comfortable the brakes were better the suspension you were able to you know Yeah, like the windows are slide on a on a 67 where it's the other one the windows go all the way down They slide left and right.

37:13Yeah slide left and right. So you can't like hang your arm out You can't do any of that but it's 1968 and above wow and what is it like a hundred horsepower something if that? Wow, if that I mean most of them I mean they started off like what 20 by 25 30 By 20 between 25 and 30 Uh horse power for a van. Yeah How many bands tried to make their way across the country and those things? Oh man, you know what that? But I mean that was the that was the sprinter van of its day That's why people would turn those into camper vans or they'd get the band in there Or they you know, uh, they'd get the whole thing out.

37:46It was a panel van or they they you know There were so many uses for those back then. Yeah Did the Manson family have one of those? I wouldn't doubt it. It seemed like something they would have See if the Manson family had a VW van someone actually tried to sell me uh doctor Kavorkian's Volkswagen Dude, they have that at the I got the option to buy it really yeah They tried to sell me the van the yellow that bus that's now at the museum in Las Vegas So they uh they reached out to me because they knew you know And so anytime something Volkswagen bus related pops up that's crazy. So uh the so you had a chance to buy the museum Yeah, but I'm like I can't and like uh it felt so you don't worry it belongs in the museum and even though it's like okay It's a good talking to you.

38:30Hey, guess what I have over here. I got the death machine. Fuck that That's just crazy. So yeah, you could see it at the uh, I think it's called the uh museum of death I think I almost bought David Kuresh's 1968 Mustang. Oh wow. Yeah, it was for sale Online and they were advertising it was David Kuresh's Mustang and apparently it had proven it so they could prove it And I was like my finger was hovering over my phone. I was like Do I really don't really wanted 69 but I mean like 16 what did you want days? Yeah Part of me was like yes, but the other part of me is like what if I'm opening up doors that I could never close What if he truly was the branch Davidian staff car made his way into the car like Christine remember that movie?

39:11Oh my god. I love that movie. Fuck yeah, they never it's they never it's kind Waco cult leader that was the car. I mean come on. So I know look strong. That is beautiful. Yeah 1968 and if I was gonna just drive it stock like that. I mean just fuck around take it to the store But I thought about it and I was like I don't think I don't want that fucking bad karma And you can you can find a car like that. Yeah. Yeah. I have one that looks like that, but I got the white stripe on it Hmm beautiful to it's a fun car. Oh man. Yeah, fun car. Yeah, they're they're amazing cars Those uh in the rest of months and those are particularly good because they're well -balanced You know, it's like it's good shape good size car for that kind of application I have a 69 that rose to shop built me fucking love it.

39:57I thought online looks cool. Oh, I fucking looks really really cool. It's so fun. It's so fun. I um, I had um Done as much as I could to modify the car to make it as safe. So like for example I put LEDs. I took out the old stuff and I put LEDs so that it's bright Change the the cluster inside to make sure that it was all digital and bright so that I could see it Yeah, and I had people getting upset with me over it when I come on man. I'm like I just want to enjoy the car Oh, because you were changing the original stuff. Let me just let me just let me just stop talking those fools. Those people are idiots Let's leave it alone.

40:31Yeah, bro. Every one's gonna die Everyone and then someone else is gonna enjoy just enjoy it. Don't try to like there's plenty of them that are out there that are stock It's not like we're running out of them, you know I gotta tell you I bought something really cool last week and uh I got a chance to play with it yesterday. I bought a 1994 Ford Mustang Cobra um the difference between that and the anything else out there is that It only had 12 miles on it. Oh wow, and it's yeah, so it was dealer car. It was covered in plastic It still had the sticker in the window. It still had all the the different You know the barcodes and just everything on it So I had to rip the plastic off the seats.

41:15Whoa And that for me was the coolest thing. It's just like 1994 1994 and so the guy who bought it I guess was a collector of Mustangs and he just bought it and let it sit And it just he kept it in a temperature controlled room And I guess something happened where you know it became available And I jumped on it and I'm like because 1994 is a year I graduated high school and that's the car wanted And so I think it's cool that I'm able to buy a brand new old car That's crazy. How many of those are out there? Yeah, it's you know, I got I got lucky I found it online and I just jumped I'm like it's it's mine It's funny how cars like um Not just muscle cars because muscle cars are fast, but cars Like a Volkswagen they're fun to drive you know if they're slow It's like so much more engaging than a regular car.

42:04It's like you're on a little ride like you're in a go -car It's exactly what it is and then you're sitting high. It's a different experience. You know, it's like Now you can get an SUV and of course you're up there But to be that high up and then you're literally your face as the windshield right here. Yeah, no safety You hit anything and you're just By and you feel everything you feel every bump and twist to the road You got the wheel and you're sitting on you're sitting over the wheel. So it's just yeah suspension sucks Everything you go right a quarter. It's terrible I actually got up on two wheels one time my accident and I'm luck at it die I was getting on the free one.

42:41I just cut the corner too hard and I felt it man and then you just boom It's really interesting because it does a car does not have to be fast to be engaging You know, that's like what I think it gets lost with a lot of these paddle shifter cars these new cars Everybody's just trying to go zero to 60 faster and get on the round the Nürburgring faster, but That's not really what makes a car fun like you don't really drive like that in real life You'd like like you'd rather have a car that's more fun slower Because like some cars like my Tesla if I'm going to you don't even notice you're going 80 miles an hour It just goes and also you're going 80 But if I'm going 80 and like an old Porsche you feel that feel everything You feel it like it's like you're citing everything is like alive You know I have an old 1993 RS America so it's got no power steering no air conditioning no radio no nothing Air -cooled super light tiny little car and it only has like 300 horsepower But it's like one of my favorite cars to drive but you feel everything Everything you are part you want part of the ride It's a Disneyland part of that yeah, I mean it's slow as shit compared to like my Tesla But when you're when you're doing if you're doing 80 and that versus 80 the test You feel like wow, I'm going 100 miles an hour you feel alive Feel like you're on a motorcycle or something.

44:05It's crazy It's also the way they handle like you feel the tires break like you have all your connection to the tires Like when you hit the limit you feel a kick out and know where that limit is Like you it's almost like your shoes You know when you know when you're sliding you know I'm saying like you know to stop yourself sliding You're you're waiting to see the smoke like any second now that you're getting something something to snap in and you're going to have to pull for Well those cars too the engines in the back and so the ass end kicks out around corners You know and if you're going around a corner and you let off the gas you can fish tail it Yeah, like especially those old like old turbos.

44:43So wild ones the people got Those things they called them widow makers But giant ass engine in the back skids out really easy Going around a corner, what off the gas you spit around a circle and crash good luck Yeah, you have to teach people to keep their foot on the gas when they're growing around a corner That's crazy Let's see I'm you know Fortunately, I'm I don't have the need for speed as much if I have a nice little straightaway Good on the 405 if there's an opportunity all my driving I do or After midnight. Oh you like to get out of the house at night And I like taking my drives between midnight and three in the morning because there's nobody out there Just enjoy drive and I can just drive yeah You know, so I'll do I'll do a lap so I'll take like the six oh five to the two ten to 134 and I'll just go through LA.

45:37Do you know who Magnus Walker is Another name Magnus Walker is his Porsche expert. He rebuilds old porches makes him amazing But he like he has these videos about porches that are like a love letter to Porsche So he takes these old porches and drives them on the highway And he's a cool looking dude. He's got crazy dreadlocks and fucking wears funky clothes and shit I think he made his money in a clothing business pre -sure And so he has his warehouse in downtown LA where he keeps all these porches And he's got a video where he gets out and drives him so that's like he looks like a Magnus Yeah, that's Magnus Magnus He's got a cool English accent But see if you can find one of the videos of him because there's a video of him I think it's called 9 -11 outlaw There was like There was a video called 9 -11 outlaw I think It was like one of the oldest videos where it just sort of it like Urban outlaw that's it.

46:37So this was like the video where I found out about this a long -ass time ago But this dude makes all these cars give me some volume So this is a real old car. This is probably like a 68 or 69 or something like that And he's got you know like just sort of a juiced up stock engine, but it's all air cooled Everything is super super lightweight like that car pulling ways 2000 pounds and When you know, he's got like the little air ducts he's put into the side a lot of the stuff that he's done the car is very custom They listen to that So So then he takes these motherfuckers out downtown LA and it's When you watch him do it.

47:27It's very addicting like here give I even wrote a letter to the Porsche factory Go go earlier when you see him actually going fast in these things No, no, no, yeah Yeah, so this is this is it Like that is a beautiful little car And it's not fast not compared to modern standards, but the pleasure you get a drive in one of those things It's like everything is analog you feel every bomb, but it's like it's all just giving you feedback It's exciting and you know and you see how there's no traffic and he's enjoying it's a nighttime drive And he can actually you know give it gas if you want still or chill this is before the pandemic though Go out now.

48:15It's got dams on me. I'm not gonna lie kind of enjoyed the drives during that. I think that's what got me out of the house Yeah, I'm just like wow. Yeah, I just mean in downtown LA downtown LA is It's So I don't even know if he's still there anymore. This is quite a while ago. I would have thought Yeah, you did Like that place. It's crazy. Did I remember film and fear factor in downtown LA in like Three or something like that. It was crazy back then. I was like this is wild There's so many homeless people down there. It is insane the the amount of I mean tent cities everywhere you look and saying Everywhere you look and it's like what the hell yeah, what the hell it's so much.

49:02It's like it's And what kills me is some of these tents have like electricity like they got generators And TVs are like whoa Are you camping poles and shit? They're opening up poles and pulling wires out and diverting power like Some of these guys are like a homeless electricians. Yeah, no, it's like okay. Yeah, you know, I don't I feel like that they're making that choice Well, there's probably as fucked up as it is some kind of community to being a part of this struggle with all these other people That are sleeping on the streets, you know, and then there's open air drug use and it's tolerated and you know And then there's places where you can go especially in skid row and you can get some help you can get food It's fucked because it doesn't seem like it's getting any better at all It's they move in places they shift them out of certain spots when it becomes inconvenient And then they sort of drift back in eventually and the other places they get bigger and bigger the places where they neglect it They just keep getting bigger.

50:00That's that's all I'm saying is there can kick out and then they're finding you know Yeah, but like oh that that that community is now over here It's crazy that this was never an issue when we were kids. It was never an issue Like when do you remember when you were a kid's ever intense never Never and it's like we're just supposed to accept that there's nothing that can be done Like what are you gonna do now? There's tense now. What did you do? What did what did the what the fuck did you neglect that you let these people camp out on streets? Why would you let that happen ever? You know and is it encouraging them if you do let them do that?

50:38I mean, I don't know But I know there's a lot of them and you're letting them do it and seems like there's more all the time and you're letting them do it And they used to be none There used to be no tense anywhere. So tell me what the fuck you're doing Well, we have a very comprehensive homeless outreach program that doesn't do jack shit You know, we we ran a lit my friend Cole on noir is a lawyer and he was in San Francisco talking to them about it And he was like what is the problem here is it a lack of funding And the sky is starting to go. No, no the opposite the people that are on these homeless commissions They're making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year So he shows this list of us of all the people in LA that are making money that are they're supposed to be managing the homeless one Some of them is in quarter million dollars a year And they're out there Well, we're doing our best to outreach and give them safe crack pipes like it's madness It's completely they'll know understanding of of the situation Well, not only that they have no incentive the people that are running it if the homeless problem goes away They don't have a job anymore So what are they gonna do they're gonna make sure it's manageable and well we need more funding We're very close to cracking this problem We're gonna need more funding and they just keep getting more funding and I mean it has to be addressed like an environmental problem Like if there was a leak an oil leak in the middle of the street And all those places where the tents were there was just giant puddles of oil that were coming out of the ground They would have to deal with that they would go we have an environment of environmental issue It's just real it's getting into the water supply It's poisoning we can fix it but it's gonna take a lot of resources in time, but we're gonna do it Yeah, you got it You have an environmental problem.

52:14It's just humans You know and you've got to figure it out through a compassionate solution You got to do it with a sense of community, but you can't just let people take fucking camp everywhere Crazy assholes like you know, it's not gonna get better We're gonna bury your head the sand till you the president. What are you gonna do? We're gonna just escape from LA after leaving the whole state of California fucking disaster I move to the White House is that the move is that out works Because no one's fixing it. They're not fixing it in New York New York is just fucking crazy Another another mask crazy San Francisco's the worst San Francisco is like a failed state San Francisco might as well be Libya that place is wild Yeah, people at the end of the street the crime is next level in San Francisco It is next little bit next little stupid people are parking their cars and leaving their windows rolled down and their asses open.

53:04Yeah, just they don't want to get smashed And doesn't matter what time of day. It doesn't matter who's around doesn't matter who's around no one stopping anybody from doing anything It's crazy. It's crazy how quick San Francisco fucked Because everyone's pulling out of there hotels are pulling out like supermarkets or Chains like Walgreens pulling out They're like what else becoming a ghost town and they're not pumping the brakes on it. I don't know what they do Now at this point what do they do they don't have the resources to fix it now Because they fucked it up so bad for so long and they don't have to do it after admit that all of their policies And nobody's gonna do it's gonna do that We're gonna do fluffy gonna make you read Texas.

53:44Hey man. Uh, you know how many times I be fluffy Let's go. We're gonna whine you and dyne you this weekend You know how many times I've come close to uh to moving out here. I may times. Oh man I've been I've been talking about San Antonio for at least 10 years. San Antonio's dope at least 10 years Yeah, it's right up the street. I got a good real estate agent I actually already own a house in San Antonio. Do you yeah, no shit. Yeah, I bought it a long time ago. Oh But it's just I feel like I'm gonna get homesick And I feel like Yeah, fly back home when you want to keep people Whenever you feel bad fly back home with what the fuck is wrong with me and after a while San Antonio will be your new home And there's that nice club out there too.

54:27Was it yeah, they got L .O .L Yeah, uh What's the other one not cap city that was here um the um You know the river center the river center comedy club. They reopen cap city, but not really it's uh the helium guys open it and it's um in The domain out there. Oh, it's not in the same place that it was no no no that places That place is uh I don't know what's going on with that place the guy who owned that place just got In trouble some sort of federal shit. Mm -hmm bribery shit Yeah, always something. Yeah, I was looking at buying it a few years ago But there was a lot of problems and they wanted way too much money for it And then I found this cult theater the theater was owned by the cult and uh, I had got out of that deal once There was problems with that place too.

55:14And then we got this place. I'm excited to show it to you. Oh, yeah I'm looking forward to it. I'm excited Like yeah, it's your question. I've been I've come close. I've come close to coming to Texas a few times I've actually thought about Texas and Florida. Yeah, I know. So we were like what really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah Yeah, when shickets weird you start wondering like I you know, it's kind of be somewhere else Hey, you find yourself shaking your head and you're like wow, what the hell are we doing? What the hell are we doing? You know, it's like I'm paying for this like what what am I? Also, there was the psychological aspect of it That was what was driving me crazy people that I knew were morons like the mayor of LA The psychological aspect of having that guy having any control over what I do with my time What I do with a living for a living what it what what I can and can't do what I'm allowed to do and not allowed to do Based on whatever guidelines he's presenting bro, you can eat shit That guy's a moron and I don't like taking Instruction from people that I know are bought and paid morons and that was just so frustrating because you before that You never had to deal with the mayors You know, you never thought about the mayor.

56:22What was the mayor going to do that's going to affect your life You know you would vote for the people you thought at the best policies and you know support the school systems And whatever you hope that they would do But you never thought they would keep you from working. No Who the fuck saw that coming and keep you from even doing outdoor shows and even outdoor dining These people were maniacs and they were in charge of telling everybody what to do and I was like this is not good And there's too many people in this town that think there's something Something good about being compliant You know, there's something good about like you we're doing it for everyone else like are you fucking sure?

56:57Are you sure these morons know what they're doing? Are you sure more businesses have you know went under and oh If you were lucky enough to recover or just whether the storm that's one thing But most people didn't yeah, and not only that those businesses. I bet all those people got COVID anyway Everybody got COVID anyway, I bet and I bet if those people got COVID and recovered they would have been saved to run their fucking store Like they just didn't took the decision out of people's hands and it's been proven that it was a disaster Was a disaster for the economy was a disaster for mental health It was a disaster for people's careers It was a disaster for people's long -term businesses that they had a close family businesses that they had restaurants for 30 years Well the local neighborhood places that everybody went to sorry.

57:43You can't work For a year and a half They just bled people out and meanwhile these big giant stores They just made more and more money because of the only places you can go and they told people their job was essential or non -essential Like who the fuck are you yet guess what's non -essential you you You fucking half wet Telling people what they can and can't do based on what not even no debating the science of it No real conversations with experts at a disagreeing opinions It was gross man. I was happy to get out of there and we wonder why there's so many ten cities You know that Gavin Newsom guys running for president He's already started campaigning He's already started campaigning without campaigning he just did Sean Hannity And he's ringing up California talking about how great California is Every day I think about later, but it's it's still home, you know I tell people you know when they say what were you still you still yeah You know I love my I love it's home And then that's the hard part like you suck even though I'm a traveling comic, you know, yeah, I know I say yeah, yeah, it's like coming every now and then with like a fully armored all -mata and just block everything down You know and I got my uh my little sanctuary that I've worked on you know for so many years to to make my little My exactly like it.

59:08Yeah, it's like oh You know, but then I see the at the end of the year when I'm getting taxed and I'm like oh Yeah, like that the tax along would pay for everything in Texas. Just tax people are so silly They want so much money I wish it was going somewhere. I wish it was going something really good like if the if the taxes were Very high, but then you look through the quality of life that you get from it And you're like wow they do an amazing job with all this tax money. Another new terrible job It's fucking over one with bureaucracy and too many people and nothing gets fixed and nothing gets done It's like yeah, I still see the potholes.

59:44I hit him. Yeah, that's a minor. That's minor the homelessness is the biggest one Like that is bonkers that you you think you are doing your job if you're you are governing a city That has a hundred thousand homeless people or whatever it is what we say it is 65 They guess they're guessing they're guessing they ain't doing a fucking survey Now you're you're here all the time. What is it like here? It's nothing Very this homeless people it's homeless people in every city But there's a way less and they cleaned up all the tents around the city Every now and then they pop up under the bridge But they clean them up and then they come back and then they clean them up and they come back But at least they clean them up at least they don't allow them to accumulate and become like a village Like yeah, Francisco.

1:00:25Where is it like San Francisco? Essentially they have these open air drug tents Michael Shellenberger wrote a great book about it called San Francisco And he talks about how these progressive policies are just destroying these cities It's like you have to make a correction and they're not making a correction So what are you going to do Well, I wish I had the answer for that. Yeah When you go on the road you go on the road for just weekends or do you do like long stretches? I guess it depends on if it's a big tour for like right now. I'm just doing nothing but clubs It's like you know after the Dodger Stadium show My agent my manager want to meet a to ride the wave of the success of the special and go back and tour hard and I'm like No, I want to I want to just pump the brakes for a little bit I want to remind myself why I love this so much So I said I just want to do nothing but clubs for at least half a year And so just doing shows, you know, I'll still do you know my four sets a week because I was doing you know Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday But now I'm just doing it at one place and then doing two shows Friday two shows Saturday You know, so get get my sets in and then and go home And yeah, I'm not making the same money, but the peace of mind is incredible You know, I'm not stressing about money.

1:01:39I'm not stressing about Pain for these tour buses are paying for the rigs or paying for the production You know what what's going on at the end of the night at the arena What's I mean there's so much that goes into it and to be able to just walk in with club and focus on let me just be funny and have fun Yeah, you know, so it's a great way to ride a new hour too. Yeah, you know, and I love The fact that when I'm doing these clubs Everybody's a lot more excited. First of all the staff is incredible no matter where I'm going Everybody's been super great and the crowds have been super appreciative that they can watch an intimate show like yeah Because even if you're sitting in the back row of the club, you know at an arena.

1:02:15That's like row three right You know what I mean, and so it's you know, it's it's been a lot of fun And I've enjoyed it and it reminded me how much I love this because I think at a certain point Um, I became a hoe I became a hoe and it became more about the money because dude once the money started coming It's like you get scared because it's so much and it's coming at you from all these different angles You're having these meetings and you're they're going over your portfolio and you gotta invest this and we gotta do that and blah blah blah You're like oh my god, and now you know, I have employees and I had employees and now I employ like 30 people Which is insane, you know enough and if I stop working they all stop working So then it turns into this thing where you know You you feel almost like you're obligated to work even more to take care of everybody else.

1:03:04That's bird crusher. Oh Yeah Yeah, so when I told my team I wanted to do clubs for half a year I they were not happy about it and they're like you're missing out you really this you got a strike while I don't They're missing out and they're missing out they you know They see one thing and you know as creatives. It's it's very different. Yeah, but they have to like not give you creative advice That's very important but that's not creative advice. It's it's financial right, but it's correct But creative for you is I need to fill my creative void. I want to go out there and fuck around I want to have a good time.

1:03:41That's the creative aspect of when you're doing a show you got a show There's 15 ,000 people in there to show. It's a different kind of thing You're not gonna like really write in front of 15 ,000 people You write and fuck around in front of a small crowd like it's a creative choice And they're wrong anyway like you ain't getting off that wave son You don't have to worry about that wave ride in the wave you'll be on that wave to the rest of your life You don't have to worry about that wave. Thank you. Yeah, you don't have to worry about that wave at all They could relax you can take a year off and get off fucking Instagram a Twitter and just vanish for a year and come back and crush it It doesn't matter.

1:04:16You can do whatever the fuck you want That was the one thing about COVID is it is I had never taken a break that long from comedy ever It's amazing how much energy you have when you have to work every night. Yeah It's very you can actually get on the schedule like you know for me I've always dealt with the weight issue. It's always been a thing for me, but being home for a year and Actually being able to focus and I had a trainer and everything I was able to lose 70 pounds nice See all my all the doctors that I've been avoiding because I've been in the road I've actually got to go see everybody and find out I was doing yeah So I felt like it was it was helpful.

1:04:51I never take time off ever I work all the time. I'm on the road 46 weeks out of the year Well, you always have been that's always been your reputation. That's why you know We were talking about the even at the ice house shows crazy To do a fortune to the 2 p .m. Kid show. Yeah ridiculous nobody does that nobody has four shows in a day That's insane and I used to do I used to do the shows and then as soon as I'd get off stage I go outside and do a full -blown meet and greet So I would meet every thing like do the show do a meet and greet and then by the time the meet and greet was over It was time for me to go back up on stage And so I was doing that you know Wow, but I think that's also what helped to build Build everything Your engaging with people you know, yeah, real grassroots you were like really getting out there and hanging out We should always do that thysouse have those meet and greets afterwards hang out talk to people That's a great club that set up back there is amazing just a little have you been there recently?

1:05:49No, I haven't I haven't been when it's remodeled. I heard the bus is that did an amazing job with it It's it's very modern part of it is like They killed certain things that kind of made it the club club where more now it feels a little bit more It's too clean. It's too clean. I don't know why they would fuck with it. It was literally perfect There's a sky box in the back of the room Literally a sky box in the back of the room and if it's the room for the comics to chill in It's badass is the greatest green room ever But it's now considered a VIP room in the back and there's like a glass like a like a place for people who could just talk Yeah, well, you're on stage.

1:06:27You're just you know, that's what it looks like back there. Oh, that's weird So the room stuff is that room So they just basically open that room up because you used to be that room was closed off. Yeah, right? So it's not like the rooms any smaller no no no no the room is the same size and uh, you know It's still it's still fun. It's still fun to perform in there It's just very different and yeah, somebody that spent years going there to all of a sudden see you know You enter through the front through the street Whereas before you'd enter through the alley. Oh Interesting, you know, and then the bar I mean everything just looks really really nice They they they changed it, but I feel like if you're the oldest club in the country man You gotta Look like you know a little bit more classic So I had cool a lot of the changes.

1:07:09I'm like, ah, yeah, a sky box a weird choice, but whatever maybe it works Like I said, it was that was just a closed -off room before, you know, remember you wouldn't even be able to see the stage It was like mirrors back there. No, it was just yeah, it's the little while And then the room behind it was like a dining what did they do with the little room? Yeah that little room So the little room they actually made the little room bigger and they're making it so that they can have jazz And live music it actually looks really cool, but again, it's not it's not The old -ice house right it's not the old -ice house So yeah, no there's no more nostalgia.

1:07:44It's everything's new clean and just pretty well Listen, I'm just happy that someone dumped a bunch of money into it fixed it and yeah, finally reopened and once good comedy there, you know They doing like headliners on the weekend. How they doing it? They're doing it like Well, I don't think it's I don't think it's set up as a like a showcase like like Mel Rose or or the other clubs and stuff It's definitely headliners on the weekend Yeah, there's when you're talking about like outside of LA. There's Pasadena There's comedy magic There's a few other there's always like Irvine, but then you're then you're far out now you're going pretty far You know and those clubs are definitely headliners.

1:08:23Yeah, there's not there no show. There's no like real comedy comedy clips We're showcase clubs are outside of the city, right? Not really once you get past like the ha ha You know, well, it's you got you know, I mean I was at flappers a couple weeks ago. That was fun. I can't you know These these rooms and it's just like wow. Yeah, you know, it was so much fun. Just went out there and had a good time Yeah, flappers is a great room, but it's a weird room like where whenever I would go there. I'm like who are you guys? Like I don't know any of you and there and now it's just one owner. It's Barbara.

1:08:55Oh, I mean the comics. Oh, okay I'm sorry. We're out to you guys work like I never see you anywhere Weird there was like a specific group that was always at flappers. I was like this is a strange little group of people You know people find their little clicks. Yeah, I was gonna say it's like back in the day You knew everybody you knew who was doing it and you knew where they were at. Yeah, and now it's like I open my blink there's ten more comics and it's like wow There's so many playing podcasts. Ah nice to what it is so many people listen to podcasts like damn want to do that Sounds like fun you think you think of it like also you hear the people in podcasts like these guys are kind of stupid I think I could do better than them.

1:09:32That's always I think I can do better than them. Yeah always You know part of it's making it look easy Yeah, and then they'll like oh I can do that. Yeah, well the problem is like think about what you do you go up there and you talk Well, everybody can talk Like it's confusing. So like a person in the eye is like I could talk too. How can me get to talk? And I don't get to talk like you start thinking that you could do what they do That's why it's hilarious when you see someone try to go on stage and talk to an audience that's drunk Like you think you can go up here and do it and they go yeah, and they get up there and they're like Freeze like a deer in the headlights, and then they realize like how weird it is Yeah, but when someone like you is relaxed and on stage it seems like he's just talking.

1:10:10I can just talk too Mm -hmm. Yeah, it's easier than it looks. Yeah, I mean I feel fortunate that when I'm on stage I actually feel more comfortable on stage Like I feel like there's nothing I can't do when I'm up there where you're heightened, right? Yeah, because also you've been doing it so long You're super confident you're gonna kill so you get up there. It's like yeah, it's it's an extra superpower man for some reason like if if and then having the eyes too, so it's like if like for example One -on -one. It's like hey can you do 20 push -ups? I had probably not but put me in front of a crowd Put that pressure on me, right?

1:10:46You know for some reason. I'm gonna find a way to do it I'm gonna you know find a way to you know, I'm you know, I'm a big dude So it's like you know, I'm not very agile, but on stage for some reason I can run on stage Mm -hmm. Yeah, adrenaline it's I there's I feel like there's nothing I can't do when I'm up there But then as soon as I get out to stage I go back to yeah You know deflate You said you you lost a lot of weight. What did you do in terms of your diet? You know what I was very consistent. I was able to eat you know and have a Plan like you know, I have breakfast. I'd have lunch at have dinner whereas before God I was always on the road, so it's like I'd never wanted to eat before I went up on stage because then it would mess with like I get a heart burn And you don't want to be burping or farting in front of a crowd So I wait until the end and then by the time the show's over what's available to eat?

1:11:35You know, it's terrible food Starving yes, so yeah, and then go to sleep and then it was just that cycle repeat and I just you know over the years Man, it got good to me. So I get all that weight. So being home for a year You know, I was having an actual regular clean breakfast You know nothing crazy from the road. It was all food that was store -bought and preparing. I don't know You can get like a meal prep company that will make meals for you that are like I've done us. Yeah, I've done those in other work. I was into it for a couple weeks But then it's like, oh man, I'm tired fucking broccoli Tired of the shit.

1:12:10Yeah Ha ha ha What helped out a lot too was that you know, I was every day. I was walking a lot Yeah, you know, I was lifting weights three times a week Well, that's great. And then again going to see my doctors getting uncertain plans like um, you know I wear a monitor now for my sugar You know, so I'm always I'm able to keep tabs on my sugar whereas before it was out of control You know, I was I was averaging waking up at 400 which is like It's gonna Normal you want to be somewhere between 80 and 120 at least for me And so yeah, it was I was writing the what they say the the check engine light on too long That's good.

1:12:50So you know, and then I got high blood pressure and of course, you know You don't know it until they tell you or until you you know, check yourself So then getting on medication for that getting on medication for diabetes and you know Namsala jolti. Yeah, you gotta cut suck you gotta get the bad babies guy Yeah, that's not but uh getting my health and in order with a doctor and with the food and with the working out Whereas I wasn't able to do that on the road mm -hmm Or I would make a lot more excuses because I didn't you know Also, you want to have energy for those shows and sometimes when you work out really hard After it's over you're so tired and when you're really tired It's hard to like fire back up to get ready for the show.

1:13:29Especially if it's a new thing you're doing You know if your body's adapted to it you can do it pretty easy But if your body's not adapted to it like a hard workout. It's like what the fuck is this? And all my energy goes into the show. So when I'm up there. I'm hitting it hitting it hitting it You know, I'm not sluggish. I'm not standing still. Right. I'm I'm not seeing a performance. It's like yeah But then when I get off Yeah The thing is if you did get healthy and you did get in shape It would really genuinely help your ability to maintain that because I mean just imagine if you say you lost 70 pounds Imagine if you had to do your show right now with a 70 pound vest on oh god.

1:14:08Yeah, no Yeah, it sucks and that's the reality of weight. Yeah, that's the reality of gravity my knees my hips everything everything breathing harder Yeah, I do workouts with a 25 pound vest on and just a 25 pound vest on just 25 pounds It's not even that much like if you pick up 25 pounds doesn't seem like much that 25 pound vest makes a giant difference Do everything with that vest on and everything's way harder farmers carries chin -ups push -ups dips bodyweight squats everything's harder with just 25 pounds People gain and lose 25 pounds like it's nothing But when you're walking around with that 25 pounds on that is just you're carrying that man That's a lot of burden on your resources your biological resources You shoot your bones your joints your hip your back You're you just fatigue, you know, and then maybe the writing that you do maybe writing would be Sharper maybe you'd have more that you were thinking about if you had more pumping through your body You know, oh believe me.

1:15:09It's it's I agree 100 % with everything that you're saying and it's not you guys It's not even a an issue of not knowing you're not understanding. You're not seeing the bigger picture Gonna get you an Adderall in ozempic nice. Let's go. I just got a mozempic. Did you oh? Yeah? Well, you're someone here some funny. They uh, I got approached by ozempic early on before they had the the fucking song oh boy What's the song? Oh It's based on that song yeah, oh it's magic. Yeah, yeah, it's so they approached me and they want to meet a be their their spokesperson for ozempic Yeah, and uh, you know, we took a meeting and everything and I mean, you know I appreciate the fact that they actually approached the diabetic To to be the spokesperson.

1:15:53I just diabetes. Yeah, I'm gonna be the new Wilford Brimley, you know So uh, it just the deal didn't work out You're still doing it. So you're on it. I was funny as I wasn't on it when I took the meeting and you know It wasn't like I said at 120 -20 hit and I got went to go see my doctor He goes I'm gonna put you on this thing called ozempic. I'm like are you freaking kidding me? I'm like I couldn't begin this shit for free But uh, yeah, so it's once I you know give myself the shot once a week some people use it to lose weight You know like a like you know people that aren't necessarily Really big.

1:16:28Yes. We'll use that to you know suppress their appetite and stuff like that because it will make you a little nauseous Like in the mornings I wake up and I'm like oh, I got to drink like a shake or something So you only do it once a week when people are on it for weight loss to they do it like every day like often they do it I don't know what the cycle is for using ozempic for for weight loss But I just know that when I first did it I dropped 15 pounds like and got like a week. Wow. Yeah So your body will react to it immediately, but then of course you plateaued stuff like that They say that it limits your appetite.

1:17:00That's what that's one of the bigger facts of it Yeah, yeah, I was I was waking up queasy and so you know you can feel a little nauseous You're not really trying. It's crazy because it's everywhere like you see all these ads for it and even like Tony Hinch could have brought this up like CNN had a thing on it But it seems like a story, but it kind of is an ad You know, it's kind of an ad for ozempic But it seems like it's a story about Hollywood celebrities But really just jazzing up the fact that everybody's taking ozempic like it seems like There's something more going on there other than just ozempic.

1:17:31Yeah. Yeah, like you're you probably got paid to do that that story You know because I'm telling you I take it every week and that initial first hit of the weight loss. Yeah, it's true Yeah, but it doesn't it at least it didn't continue for me How often do people take ozempic when they're trying to lose weight? It's still one but it's like also tapering off I think or yeah Or maybe it gets higher. I think maybe it's actually ramping up the dosage, you know like you start My little say like 0 .25 units up to like one, but it's supposed to be a time where you're supposed to get off of it right As far as like for if you're trying to cut weight with it, I think the cut weight people It's supposed to push it in a cycle like you're supposed to like you tend 12 weeks on probably 12 weeks off the motor's pushing that right But it does help regulate my sugar.

1:18:18Yeah, so I do I between the monitor because my monitor is always checking my sugar. So For example right now. I don't have the monitor with me It's in the car because uh The honey the honey honey spikes my sugar like like nothing sure But because my voice is a little off right now. So I'm taking the honey. Yeah Um, so do you watch like sugar like bread you start you cut that stuff out your eye after a while You start knowing exactly what does what so you already know like oh I can eat that I shouldn't and then you know you you see things and you're like all right this is gonna set it off So I also have my I take a insulin.

1:18:54Oh, okay So I'm trying to I play that game how long you've been doing that?

1:19:01Oh Yes, so that's the type that you can reverse with diet exercise. Yes. Yeah And again, it's not for lack of knowing I already know I get it brown and that's what sucks It's like I feel like everything that I've ever attempted to do for my career I've been able to do but I for myself my personal self Losing weight's been the hardest thing the hardest fucking thing in the world Somebody explained it to me and it makes a lot of sense one of the reasons why food addictions of the hardest to stop is because you still have to eat food Whereas like say if you had a gambling addiction and you went and got counseling and you stayed out of the casinos and now you don't have to think about it anymore You don't have to gamble every day But you have to eat every day.

1:19:45Yes, so if you have an addiction to food and then you're eating fucking celery A little bit of peanut butter on it like what is this exactly? Well, I would just fucking peanut butter I'd eat the peanut butter off the celery. Yeah Well, it's just it's hard It's a very difficult one because the fact that you have to engage in the same activity that you're addicted to which is eating You have to in order to stay alive, you know, and then you hear words like oh moderation. Oh, you just gotta be You know be more mindful you got I'm like, oh Well, it's like everybody's got the whole thing. It's a feeling.

1:20:16It is it is like a drug It's like you need to eat in the god you eating some pasta. It's like oh You just you feel good you're sitting there. Oh, it's just it's it's not just the eating part It's how you feel when you're 100 % that is all Italian food is for me. I mean, it's the feeling of it It's like the oh When you're all sitting around drinking red white. I know I'm gonna feel like dog shit in like an hour later But at that time at that moment, it's worth it But it's just only worth it for me like once in a blue moon when I eat like that all the time. I get fat. I my my Just like get slower my my brain doesn't work as well You get foggy.

1:20:55Yeah, you get foggy and it's so easy to gain weight It's so easy to keep eating when you're eating like bread and pasta I could just overeat pasta to the end of time like I'm done eating, but I still want more like I dash I'm more than stuff that I'm still like twirling my fork and that spaghetti And for me bread bread is the biggest crack And I can't get bread. Oh, and then they come over with some tiramisu. You're like fuck it. I'm in nice You're already stuffed. You can't even eat any more spaghetti and you're just down in tiramisu Yeah, I've had some very high calorie meals But as long as I allow myself to do that every now and again, I'm good So for what I do is I almost entirely meet Has my most of my diet.

1:21:41I protein diet. Yes among what's called a carnivore diet I'll have a piece of fruit every now and again, but that's kind of it You know little piece of lettuce. I've cheated a couple of times. I had an osi e bowl the other day But it's rare Mostly I'm just and I feel great when I eat like this. I just feel I lose weight I get lighter and I'm more clear -headed, which is very very strange I think it's because your body starts processing ketones your brain starts processing ketones instead of carbohydrates Anytime I've had success with weight loss. It's always because I cut out You know, I went higher on the protein and I cut back on bread and the pastas and the sugars and stuff We're gonna get you a guy game.

1:22:20I'm gonna get you a guy Let me get you somebody to fucking say you right. We're gonna do this I want to make it a project. I've some of the things I've tried I've actually hired a nutritionist to live with me like person making me my food And I just got person cooking in your house. God. Yeah, okay You know what I choose happiness and yeah, I'd rather be fat If you'd rather choose happiness to the thing is like you can do both you can enjoy food and you can also lose weight and be healthy But you have to do it the right way You know and you have to do in a way that's sustainable. That's what what's difficult.

1:22:55I keep hearing the word lifestyle It's a life. Yeah You just got to get addicted to being healthy right you're addicted to food, you know, and I am too I get addicted to food, but you also can get addicted to being healthy Nothing that happens is when you start eating really healthy Especially when you start eating low carbohydrate high fat high animal fat animal meat You uh, you're gut biome changes and that starts becoming what you're interested in eating Like your body craves that if I eat a lot of sugar and a lot of carbohydrates I just want to eat it all the time. I want to eat bread with butter.

1:23:28I want to have a sandwich I want to have a bowl spaghetti or a lasagna or something like that But when I don't eat like that. That's not what I crave then I crave meat Like that's where I'm at right now like so I'm two months in so I just I just Trying to eat eggs and meat all the time. It's all I'm hungry for you know I've been able to do that for a while, but then I start craving I start craving the bread or tortillas Rice rice and it's just like oh problem is Mexican food. It's so far. Yes, it is. It is amazing. It's so fucking delicious bro I love me a Mexican restaurant like one of them hole in the walls that has the Mexican soap operas playing and nobody speaks English You know you're gonna get the real shit.

1:24:13There's a place called the big burrito and uh, I think it is in It's like right outside of woodland hills where my old studio was and we would go down there man. It was sensational Lengua quesadillas. They had real manudo that smells like a barn. It was outstanding the real shit, you know With all the oils and the red and fucking the tripe and woo God damn it's good like the letters in the window. Oh my god. That's the spot. That's the spot that place is so legit Ah, look at the little thing where you go by the toys for a quarter. I used to not blow them up I used to not blow them up because I didn't want to ruin it now They they sent me a message other day thanking me because we've talked about a bunch of times it's so legit But there's a bunch of those places.

1:24:57They're all throughout L .A. You know, I mean when you got a lot of Mexicans You got a lot of great Mexican food. It's like you go to East Coast a lot of Italians a lot of great Italian foods You know, you got to go to where those people make it like authentic and out here they do text max Which is a little different, you know what I like it a lot. I like text max I prefer text max over regular Mexican. Do you really? I do that's I know right. That's kind of Mexican. I am No text max is awesome. What's your favorite shit? Barba coa barba coa taco To be like I say that pork pork is a taco. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff.

1:25:31Yeah, and actually I could find that here Yeah, I have food here sensation. I'll let you know now where I'm going after the hard spot to be on a good diet Yeah, so many good spots for it's an interesting city because it's so artistic. There's so much live music You know, and now the comedy scenes exploding and the food scenes exploding. There's so many great. This is a great food city Oh my god, great food city. Why in town? I get to send you out to sushi by scratch It's like it's in Cedar Park. It's about 30 minutes from here. It is the most sensational sushi you will ever have in your life It's omakase you sit down there the dudes got a Michelin star It's sensation.

1:26:09Oh wow. It's so good. It's so good He's got two different Michelin stars or two different restaurants. He runs. That's a bad dude He's a bad motherfucker. Frank Lennley my man. He's great He also runs a fucking killer burger place here called not a damn chance burger He just makes one kind of cheeseburger, but does it perfect with like wagyu ground beef and just pickles onions American cheese Bam and you eat it you're like Jesus Christ. That's good. Yeah, so yeah losing weight's hard, Joe Yeah, I hear you brother. I hear you. I hear you man. And then you know, it's like the more uh the better comedy got for me and just You know, you're able to afford yeah to eat out And that that becomes a problem too I was in much better shape when I was broke When I was broke and I couldn't afford to go out and eat at some of these places man I was you know, I was still a big kid, but I wasn't I wasn't where I'm at now right But but being able to go and like what you want to go eat, you know Ruth Chris steakhouse.

1:27:10Yeah, there's some baked potatoes and have a steak dipped in butter. Let's do it You want to go again? Sure. Let's go And it's just like dude at a certain point that becomes a reality and you lose touch with the fact that you're You're getting you're getting it over your head the key to getting you in shape though As someone has to do it correctly and they got to do it slow And they're gonna do it with a heart monitor and they got to do it with a monitor your heart variant your your Your heart rate variability Like you should use like a whoop strap or you know, some of their similar kind of thing and have someone do it with their might Making sure your sleep is good and you know making sure that your your nutrient levels are good and just slowly start slowly Well, that's a lot of monitoring.

1:27:52Yeah, but that's how they have to do it. That's to do it right because I'm gonna strap and monitoring. I was like the whoop is the easy one. See where it on your wrist Nothing, you know, it's like that. Yeah, it's like that But it read it gets your heart rate. It finds out when you're sleeping it gives you all this information What your recovery is based on heart rate variability? It's really good. It's a really good device And it's simple easy to use the abs easy to use and you know the good thing about it is you don't have to guess like if you wake up And you go, I feel like shit and then you look at your recovery like you shouldn't feel like shit Maybe just being a lazy bitch and you go, let me just start working out a little bit and see how I feel and most of times when I do that As long as I'm not really feel like you got to know your body Sometimes I'm like I might be fighting something off.

1:28:34I feel weak Like maybe I'm just gonna go light and just break a little sweat and then go home But other times you break that sweat and you're like, whoa, let's go And then you start feeling it. You're like I just need to get woken up You know, so it gives you data Which I think is important so you make informed decisions So if you wake up and you you know like a lot of my friends found out they had COVID Because they woke up and they just didn't feel right and they looked at their whoops strap And it said like hey your recovery was like 10 % Like what the fuck is going on like why is my heart rate so high?

1:29:02You know, and then they get tested and they go you got COVID so good now you can calm down and recover from it Without letting your body get seriously taxed out and getting really sick So now slow down now and I was treated now Now so a lot of people that I know that did that they've avoided flus and you know I'm waiting to them getting really bad because you catch it. It gives your head up Catch them early get a vitamin IV drip you ever do those? Yes. Oh, that's good. That's a game changer. That's a game changer Vitamin IV with zinc That's a game changer. Yeah, the the whole cocktail. Oh the whole cocktail that immunity job.

1:29:36I'm totally all for it Oh so good for you so good for your high -dose vitamin C Just give it to me baby. You walk out of there. You feel like whoa I found though that I was I was doing a lot more of those for recovery versus being like getting hammered Not necessarily just from being hammered, but you know because I do drink but um You know just being out there on the road for so much. It's like go go go go go yeah Let's add a show sure let's do it and then it's like you drain and I found that I was getting that done regularly More so to recover versus let me just do it to be more proactive. I learned it from Dave When first time I was going on the road with Dave He wants to get an IV.

1:30:14Oh, what are you guys doing? He go into his room. He's got a fucking penthouse room, right? So we go into his room and there's like trees setup where they have these IV trees and this whole crew is sitting there getting IV bags I'm like this is amazing. This is so rock star. This is so next level. They they drink tequila They're like three o 'clock at the morning do mushrooms the next day they get IV'd and it's It's the first time I did I was like oh Because like we had gone hard We did the Tacoma dome in Seattle wherever the hell is Tacoma, Washington. We were fucking we got out Well, it was so fun.

1:30:48It was like one of the first ones we did So it was just crazy afterwards and we went out and we saw once upon a time in Hollywood privately in a movie Dave rented out the whole movie theater They had popcorn for us and everything it was fucking amazing and it was like three in the morning and you know Everybody's hammered. Oh my god. Don L wrong start snoring A bunch of people started snoring. It was fun though, man But then the next day you're like oh Jesus. We got a show tonight, but you get that IV like I'm still good you fire right back up have a good meal in him get some vitamins. Let's go Let's go Watch him movie at 3 a .m.

1:31:28Oh theater in a theater. Yeah, eating popcorn too. They have bags of popcorn for us It was amazing. That candy laid out for us Dave's rock star different human you traveling with him people just let him do shit Fire with cigarette and a restaurant. No one says shit How awesome is that Only him and Snoop could probably pull that off. Yeah, Snoop could pull it off Snoop could spark up a joint in the middle of a police station They would just smile. I got a picture I mean you achieved legendary status. You deserve that you know for sure What are you gonna do it's part of the thing, but it's just cool to know people like that You know that's one of the nice things about LA too Is that they were always coming through and that's nice about Austin a lot of guys been coming through So it's like you know when someone's in town doing a theater.

1:32:17I'll go check them out You know go to the arena like we went to see Bill Burr when he was at the arena Want to see Louis was he was down here at the at the moody. It's great. It's been fun. The moody. That's where I was that last time Got a places awesome. It's beautiful We were there for the kill Tony 10 -year anniversary show on Saturday night. It was insane It was because I was I was there. If you ever done kill Tony. No, you got to do kill Tony. You must you have to you got to be a guest It's so much fun. Do you know what it is? I you know I've heard of it, but I've never you know I keep seeing it popping up.

1:32:49It's professionals You know like you know like guys like Shane Gillis and David Tell they'll sit in and they're the guest And then they have comedians a lot of them amateur maybe first time ever on stage They're gonna do one minute and then the comedians. I've seen it. Yeah, it's hilarious. It's a great Brutal to it's like very brutal, but But also loving and a lot of people have created careers out of that show a lot of people There's a lot of people that are touring headliners now and they started out doing one minute on kill Tony And now 10 years later they're on the road making living doing stand -up and then they get invited back onto the show as guests They get invited back on the show to do a minute.

1:33:27It's it's amazing It's beautiful and then they did the 10 -year anniversary and it was fucking wild. It was wild Like just the the ovation they got when they started the show. I was like holy shit It's that big now. Yeah, because I was there in the belly room when the belly room was like half filled and they were just kind of fucking around up there And I was like this is amazing. I love things. I need to see where it's gotten. I love seeing people succeed I really do I get a kick out of it I just it just charges me up and I just love seeing people pull it together I love seeing people pull something off like look at you go Look at you go that's how I fell with you when I saw you in Dodger stadium I was like look at him go Look at fluffy.

1:34:12Let me let me tell you something though Being able to do all those things. It's awesome, but there's the sacrifice of losing touch with certain things like I feel terrible that Then I'm like just not beginning introduced to Something like you know kill Tony because it's like you know at a certain point you you are so focused on working You stop seeing other things that are out there Yeah, you lose touch with a lot because you're just focused on making this machine go go go And I feel I feel like man, what you know how much I've been missing out on because I'm working and working and working Yeah, you know, I get it, but I don't think you should be harder yourself like that I don't think you're missing out on jack shit.

1:34:53I think you're experiencing the most amazing life a person can experience You're a fucking major success touring stand -up comedian who's beloved by all come on man That's the greatest thing you can ever what the fuck are you missing out on it? It is it is incredible But I do feel though that I I I robbed myself of opportunities to Learn and grow in different areas because I'm doing this so much. Well, that's a beautiful mindset That's a growth mindset. You have that's why you think like that because you never really totally satisfied with yourself But that's also why you're so good, you know, you have a great reputation as a person too, which I really admire Oh, thank you.

1:35:29Yeah People love you They really do I don't I don't think I've ever heard anybody say a bad thing about you ever I appreciate you all the years that I've known you not one everybody's like fluffy's the best. It's a nice guy You know, you could get to the to the success that you've reached and not have a pile of people that are hating on you That's amazing. That's beautiful. Yeah, especially in this business Especially business. Yeah, this business could be like the most Community oriented comforting fucking beautiful brother and sisterhood or it could just be back stabbing nightmare Depending on the circles you travel in and you know the stage of your career and also what you give off You know, it's all what you give off Now's another thing too is that I always kept a circle very small and I always kept myself busy and away from The potential of having these conflicts.

1:36:20Yeah, you got to do that. That's important That's important keeping your circle small is important small, but strong, you know And it's it inspires everybody else too, you know I'm sure the guys you bring with you on the road they get inspired that they're they're getting better You know, everybody gets fired up and they see that kind of experience. It's like wow. I didn't even know this is possible You know, yeah, you know, and that that night at Dodger State I might you know, I was on stage over my buddy martini and Alfred and it's like we've been on tour for so many years And so like that was a very like it was it was our moment.

1:36:53Yeah, it wasn't my moment It was it was our moment. I thought they felt really really good because we were all in that grind and you know from these Like little messed up cities to all of a sudden being in Europe and all over the place and then now we're back home And it's like, you know, it's not a two o 'clock show at the ice house. Are you doing Spanish shows? You know what I've attempted to do it and yes, I do speak Spanish, but it's very different I still think in English and so to try to do my set in Spanish. I feel like it loses a lot I've opened up for a comic named Franco Scamia Amazing community great storyteller super super funny and I got a chance to open for him in Mexico City Have an arena for his Netflix special and I told him look I'll I'll do 15 minutes to open in front of you on the condition that you do 15 minutes in English That's staple center when it was still staple center.

1:37:46So that was our agreement He's gonna perform in English and I'm gonna perform in Spanish. Oh, that's amazing. We both agreed when you just stick to our language Tom Seger has been doing Spanish, but see Tom is like a sleeper man You don't realize that Tom can do that the first time I heard Tom Seger speak Spanish and like who the who are you? Yeah, like there's no there is no like Ola amigo. There's none of that shit He's very like well, he sounds like a sole proper star. Yeah, when he speaks Spanish. You're like, oh look at you Oh, he can speak to you. Yeah, what's crazy is when people talk shit around him And you don't know he can speak Spanish because he looks like a regular white guy And then it'll turn and just start which is flipping into him.

1:38:25Yeah, and he could do jokes in Spanish Like he's fluent enough that he can manipulate his bits and turn them into bits that work in Spanish. Yeah, he's super fluent Like you know, I can order food. Yeah I can order food like a champ, but to carry out a regular conversation that requires me to pull certain words It's like I'm always one of those I'll get to a certain point. I'm like Uh, how much he says like you know, I have to say the word in English and then go back into it. Yeah, so I mean, you know Amazing, yeah, amazing. I wish I could do that like he's just making noise to me. I'm funny, right?

1:39:13Yeah, I wish I could do that Like it's I think there's a real value in learning a second language It's one of those things where I was like god damn it I don't have the time, but I wish I did But pardon me says you do stupid you do a lot of other stuff Won't you like dedicate a few hours a week to learn Spanish? You know, I mean it's it's if nothing else just communicate with people Yeah, if you want to do stand up in Spanish Again, I thought about it. I thought it'd be a great challenge, but Oh god, no, no, no, I'm already I'm already doing it the way that I get it. Yeah, fuck it. You know why exactly why make your life hard Why make my life harder?

1:39:48Oh my god, I can still go performing Mexico in English bro when Joey Diaz used to mix Spanish and English in Miami When Joey who's Cuban from Miami when he would hit those motherfuckers with like some Cuban santa God, oh my god, you could not follow that. No, it can follow that it was chaos. It was chaos When I watched Joey crush at the Miami improv I was like this might be the hardest a person can kill because he's funny already And then he hit some with some Spanish punchlines and people are dying because you're hyper relating Yeah, yes, yes I remember the first time when I when I performed in El Paso at the comic strip You know, there was very few comics that that could Do Spanish and when you got a crowd that's got 80 to 90 percent Mexican and you're hitting them with stuff that's hysterical in English and now you're throwing in like I'm wanting you to Yeah, it was like it was it was such a a connection and the response was like oh, it was a wow Yes, I remember I had a open up for a comic named Dan Bradley was years ago Dan Bradley and a featuring him jayver metty And I was supposed to be the and I'm the MC and so I went out there and I'm hosting the show and I'd hit him with all the English Spanish and then hitting local references because I would spend so much time in the city You know like donia donia flor and like and that's getting on the corner and then like oh my god, he knows donia flor Like you know this outside so when you start hitting them with stuff like that the uh the feature goes hey man You're you're going out there with too much energy.

1:41:28You need to set the tone for the shot You got to you got to build it up You got to prepare you know get it so that that feature can take it from there And then you got to set up the headliner to succeed and I'm like oh, I'm sorry excited No, I was just excited and I told the manager that and the manager goes you go out there and you you put your smack down And if that feature can't follow you will switch you yeah shut your mouth and so the coolest thing was uh I wanted to do less time and then do more time in between the two the the feature in the headliner as an MC And so when I asked the headliner if I was okay.

1:42:01He goes. I'll tell you what buddy Um how about you do just a little bit of time up in front and when I get off stage you can go on after me And you do as much time as you want. I didn't know comedy etiquette yet. I didn't know how I was supposed to go I didn't know that that's not you're not supposed to do that Right. I was so new and green and so I I did the small time up front and then the feature during the show He was like that's how you do it kid, you know, and then Well after the headliner was done I went up on stage and I did another like 15 20 minutes and got a standing ovation And then when I got off I'm like yeah, and then the headliner and the feature and the matter everybody was waiting to rip me a new one Because it's like yeah, we get it that you can do that but you're not supposed to do that But he told you to do it and but that's what I said I go I go he told me to do it.

1:42:51He goes kit I was fucking with you. I didn't think you'd really do it And I'm like well, you know, that's how new he was He wasn't fucking you. He was scared of you going on the middle. I was that was what it was He didn't want you going on and crushing right in front of him That's hilarious someone telling you to not be as funny. Don't be so funny Yeah, and you have too much energy. You're too enjoyable. You're too entertaining. How crazy is that right? But I just remember that when I went up there and I was throwing in Spanish references and I would actually Make references to television shows that were in Spanish or things that people could relate to from their childhood You know and doing that there It was like it was it was just boom like so when you're saying the thing with Joey I get it yeah because when you can do that and you're in an area where they know you and you like yes He's one of us.

1:43:36Yeah, it's just it's it's it's incredible feeling. Yeah, that's the beauty of being I'll speak two languages man. There's a bunch of like doesn't Eddie Isard has any done shows in like Multiburman and yeah many many languages So to be able to do that and there's a few comics also like Canadians that can do English, French And then I think even not Not far see there was a comic named sugar sammy who can perform in multiple languages. Have you ever talked to Eddie Isard? I've never spoken to him. That's an extraordinary person. That's an extraordinary person very unusual very like free In his own skin, but that's always been him Yeah, and I've seen all the specials that I've heard stories about him Yeah, you know, he make you laugh in four languages.

1:44:20He does stand in English, French, German and Spanish Wow Now he's a he's a fascinating guy Um, I really got interested in him when he ran a marathon a day Like all around the UK. Did you know he did that? No dude. He wasn't even in shape It was just willpower like legitimate willpower like I don't know how much he was running at all But he certainly wasn't running a marathon a day. He wasn't running enough to protect him Because he's he destroyed his feet like his feet were destroyed and by the end of it He was in fucking incredible shape But he was running a marathon every goddamn day. I think he only took like one or two days off the entire time So he ran 27 marathon 27 days.

1:45:02Oh my god Yeah, he came back and did 43 and 51 days This is yeah, this is this is the first time he did it this 27 one. I believe so I know he's done I almost think he's not three times now He did another one where he was and I say he because I believe he wants to be referred to as he I want to be respectful of that because he like likes women too. He's very he's a very unusual person like but It's super comfortable in his own very fluid But his thing Was like he would do a podcast while he was on a treadmill So like he had all these people calling it because he was doing like he was running on this treadmill some insane amount of miles And yeah, so uh, I called in and I was Talking to him.

1:45:45Why he's on a treadmill You know 32 and 31 days and two marathons 31 days for charity and he was completing. Yeah, he was doing 27 miles Yeah, yeah, every day or 20s is his 26 right 26 miles every day. It's like 26 .2 every day Crazy, but I mean injured fucked up feet Like there's video of them like trying to repair his feet blisters. Oh just destroyed man the feet of destroyed like the Those people like my friend Cameron Haynes. He runs ultra marathons where they're like 240 mile runs they take days Yeah, ridiculous and Days Days they run for days and they don't sleep. They just keep running Yes, but at the end of it your toenails fall off.

1:46:27Oh, you're feet are destroyed your feet look like like you've been like running on gravel Yeah, and I'm broken glass looks terrible Terrible. Yeah, you'll never hear me hear about me running There's a thing that I think the the finish line must be so ecstatic It must be so amazing that you actually forced yourself to do that that you get addicted to that feeling that the the endorphins And just wow Imagine forcing yourself to run a hundred miles. I've had dreams of running marathons and like what that must feel like yeah, and you know No, we've had this guy in a couple of times Zach bitter and Zach He he had the world record for the fastest one hundred miles around a track With something insane.

1:47:14What was like 10 hours 100 miles ran in 10 miles and 10 miles might have been less than 10 hours because I think it was like he averaged like a seven minute mile So how many hours did it take Zach to do that? But 12 hours 12 hours Okay, so what was his average speed that that wouldn't be seven miles now what would that be? He did the 100 miles and 11 40 55 and kept running So he could finish for 12 hours so much further. We ran for 40 more minutes Jesus and got to 104 .8 miles in 12 hours Someone beat it though and 22 Some others psycho path way faster. Oh the waning. Oh my god Lithuanian yeah, Alexander Soroken there's always gonna be somebody that's willing to push themselves closer to death.

1:48:08Yeah Yeah, to beat your psychotic record of running a hundred miles And under 12 hours. I will never know that one. Yeah, I will never know. I don't think I'm gonna know that one You know, I think I'm okay with not knowing that one. I'm good. Yeah, I'll stick to my two o 'clock shows That's your marathon. That is a fucking marathon though man. It's a mental marathon for sure When I'm doing two shows a night the mother ship two hours a night. That's like some mental thing Like you got to be fired up But it's also so exciting and you feel so fortunate that you can do it, you know Like I'm never forgotten what it was like when I first started I just wanted to get on stage and I couldn't get on stage.

1:48:45It's like god damn. I want to get up there I just I'm so hungry for it. I never forget that So like I hate when people take shows for granted. Yeah Damn, we got to do a Sunday night show like what are you talking about of course we do you get to you get to go up and do it Talk shit and make people have a great fucking time For what an hour and a half of the day two hours of the day. That's it You got 22 hours to play golf. Yeah, whatever you want to do you wear it? Oh You but that's the thing. It's like we think of it as work sometimes But really what it is is the greatest pastime It's the most fun thing to do the most fun activity that happens to be a job For me the work is the travel but you're getting getting on a bus getting on a plane Having to check in the hotels, you know like everything that goes into the day with exception to the actual performing itself or having to perform through you know When the check drops that's the only time.

1:49:39I was like okay. Let's see how this goes. Yeah, so weathering that but And that there's no work. It's all these check drops until after the show there That's awesome. Yeah, you have to do that way we were doing the other way at first. I was like this is terrible Because I was watching people and other people on stage. I was like, well not good. Then you hear the conversation Yes, somebody wants to argue about the bill. It's also they're talking loud because they're drunk They don't realize they're talking loud. So they're like what's 20 % you know Do you have any cash? Yeah, so it's it's way easier this way.

1:50:12It's just way better for the comics It's just you know the overall experience. It's all just about let's try to make it. I know there's no food But that's why to try to make it the best But I'll tell you Rapolo's next door they got pizza. I'm gonna go check out that sushi spot Yeah, the sushi spot is the off the chain. Let me know. I'll hook that up. You got to go to that That's insane. It's the best sushi you've ever had in your life And it's omakase so just sit there and one piece explains to you. They do it all they prepare right in front of you Okay, one like straight one piece is done So it's like 14 pieces of sushi and they do it over the course of like an hour and a half you have socky pairings It's Sensation that alone sells it Yeah, that'll I'll go off my no grain diet when I go there.

1:50:57I'll say fuck it tonight. We're eating rice Are you big on the different types of paper like seaweed? Yeah, I love it though He made me this one thing. I probably shouldn't tell it because he doesn't want to serve it all the time This is very expensive. It was um Ooni that's it. That's it right there scallops and ooni So it's raw scallops and raw sea urchin with some rice in that nori paper and it's fucking sensation It's so good. It's like the best piece of food you could literally eat It's insanity and you know, it's like you don't realize how good people like someone can be at something Until you see like a master chef prepare food and you're like oh, there's a difference even in sushi Which I just think of you know Ignorantly before I would think of it as just oh this is like just right in real efficient rice.

1:51:49How hard can that be No, no, no, it's a little delicate flavors. They put on the way they prepare it They dry age some of the meat and they do all these different things. It's like ah Ah, I took Daniel Cormiere. It was his first time he's ever had sushi. He's like 46 years old He's never had sushi. I just had to see him when he was eating scallops like raw scallops You can see the look at his face Was he vibinator wasn't there was just kind of freaking out. He liked some of it He did not like the raw scallops. It's the texture to texture. It's always the texture thing like I can like there's certain Like seafood that I'm down with but then like I can't do oysters.

1:52:25You can't do raw oysters. No, I love them I mean if that if you said okay, you know, just swallow it don't even like whatever I had to I heard some people like chewing it. I heard about someone died recently. They think they got a tainted oyster and died Google that I think it was a girl. I think she ate what happened Yeah, I think she ate some oyster that was tainted but something No Yeah, they picked up this might be the part of the problem. It was a Missouri out of Seafood stand. Oh A seafood stand like outside Yeah, that's a risky person. That's That's a motherfucker that eats gas station sushi Yeah, I don't like this pose of any from a business.

1:53:16Yeah, I think it's because they You know they just had them laying out there Oh, that's crazy. It's seafood stand. Yeah, that is crazy If you just leave oysters out there eventually they'll kill you But this is there's no evidence to business to anything to contaminate them So they're trying to determine where they came from. Oh, so it might have been contaminated straight from the ocean Probably contaminated when they arrived at the stand. I do know that sometimes they get contaminated from the ocean My wife got sick once she got food poisoning from oysters. Yeah, I'm not about it. Mm -hmm. I take my chances Take your chances roll my chances and then oysters You know, but I'll do I'll do sushi.

1:53:52I'll do caviar lobster, you know shrimps Fish they say that oysters and scallops and clams are good for vegans because if you think about it if you just really like they're not really an animal But they give you animal protein like Scallops are let they're more primitive than plants Like they're really primitive things. They don't have any like This they're not feeling jack shit Like you're no conscience. They're kind of like a plant. But they're a plant that moves But they're not a plant they're a mollusk But they don't have a brain and there's like whatever that is is just like some sort of meat with a shell So it's a green light.

1:54:34It's a green light I think I mean as much as eggs are eggs are green light too Because they just lay them if there's no rooster There's no way that's gonna be a chick you're not hurting anybody eat the eggs And you you have a good relationship with the chickens chickens eat the grass and food. What is this? I think that's what it is it says it's a scout flies around. Oh, is that real? I they swim It seems like that's not what's happening, but it is what's happening. What's happening? It is what's happening It swims like a like it's crazy. I didn't know they could do that Yeah, plant huh? Yeah, well whatever the fuck it is Whatever it is it just it just moves It's obviously not a plant it's a mollusk, but it moves I mean that's the thing that it does it moves There's a video.

1:55:23I've seen a puffer fish. I think eating them. Have you ever seen that? Oh wow She wants it makes it a loud crunch Yeah, cuz the shell's hard. Yeah, freaking puffer fish But whatever they are though is not really an animal That's why like I've heard like a neuroscientist make this argument and like it's really like probably the most ethical thing that you can eat As long as there's like sustainable numbers of them because it's like they don't even know you're eating them It's just nothing going on there. It's just a piece of meat covered by a shell, right? How many vegans do you know? I know quite a few.

1:55:55Yeah. Yeah. Yeah How about you? Oh You know what I know I know of them. I respect people's I respect people's choices and I think that one is a complicated one and it's a convenient one too The convenient one is not taking into account all the animal deaths is involved in Large -scale agriculture, which is where you get most of your vegetables because there's a lot of animal death involved in that a lot There's also poisoning there's a lot of poisoning of the land with pesticides and herbicides There's a lot of shit that goes on to these monocrop agriculture Establishments is which is where you get a lot of your vegetables from It's not good and it's not good for the environment It's not good for the animals.

1:56:42It's definitely not good for any animal that lives in that field They're getting fucked up. Then many animals get churned up in combines and yes How many birds and gophers and groundhogs they kill it's just it's in order. Yeah to maintain the crops Yeah, it's I mean Ted Nuget is broken it down and he actually knows the statistics and like what is actually involved in it But when I talk to people that run these regenerative farms when they describe industrial farms and all the shit that they have to do and how that all that gets into the rivers and it poisons the rivers It's wild stuff man and that's That's vegetables.

1:57:15That's how they're growing things on top soil. It's dead So they have to constantly pour all these fertilizers and nitrogen all this shit all over the Over the ground because there's no nutrients left in the top soil They have to do all this it's a real complicated man And the water that runs into the rivers. It's so this this is guy will Harris From white oak pastures and he has a regenerative farm and he's right next to a farm that's an industrial farm And there's like a clear line between the runoff on his side where the water's clear And then the runoff on his neighbor side where it is immediately you can see that it becomes mud see the line Look at the line That's the line.

1:57:57That's the property line on the right hand side. It's just horrible on the left hand side It looks like a river and that's the dividing line between their two farms Which is fucking insane. It's insane that that's legal and that that's normal that runoff It's like unintended pollution. What are we gonna do? It's on the top soil and the top soil is all dead So all the stuff that they pour on it just runs off when it rains into the into the river God look at that. Yeah So There's that you know, and then there's this new evidence that plants can think and plants communicate and plants share information and that through mycelium through the the actual like the fungus that's in the soil They're exchanging information and even Intelligence then yeah, there's something there They're screaming when you eat them Capers.

1:58:46Oh god. No I'm there was like less out of the ground screams. I want to say it was like a Like a modern version of the Twilight Zone There was an episode where this guy was trying to lose weight and he was gonna eat vegetables out of his fridge and every vegetable mood make a sound like that. Oh boy So he's he's trying to eat but he can't eat anything and he's starving and and at the end Everything just kind of rotted and they found the guy dead. It was creepy, but yeah Did you ever see the one there's an old Twilight Zone where these aliens come down? and They they introduced themselves to earth and they give us a book and the book is to serve man They find this book that they have and then they realize it's a cookbook.

1:59:33Oh The movie that's like the punchline the aliens have come down here to eat us So what yeah, oh man See these guys in front of all it's put give me some of the volume and prevent it We are here to help you Are we to assume that there is no Moongive well, there is nothing ulterior in our moog is nothing at all You will discover this for yourselves before too long simply by testing the various devices which we will make available to you We ask only that you trust us Only that you simply trust us Perhaps you watched this initial questioning Most people un -earth did Surely some of the questions asked by your representatives must have been identical to more than a few of your own Because as a race we are unaccustomed to charity Utanity is a far more universal language to us than that expression of friendship throughout the space They were nine feet tall and nicknames who descended on us like locusts But nobody was counting All worry Except perhaps a few professionals whose job it was to second guess If you say what's happening now Yeah, exactly exactly So the end of it they translate the book and They realize what it actually says we're gonna make sushi at a TED See where they say mine this couldn't be cut off its only a six minute video might not have been the whole episode Well, what is how long is it six minutes?

2:01:12No, that's definitely not the whole You still on earth throw on the ship truth me It does make very much difference because sooner or later You'll always be on the menu The recollections of one Michael Chambers are more simply stated the evolution of man The cycle of going from dust to dessert The metamorphosis from being a ruler of a planet things before that. He realizes it. Oh my god. Yeah, that would suck Ah, it would suck Especially like we can sort of justify killing dumb things you know You know, but hmm dogs are pretty smart. There's people out there that are eating dogs. Yeah Dogs pretty goddamn smart to be eating them There's a lot of animals that have a lot, you know, I feel they're very so pigs Yeah pigs are pretty smart you can try to pick the dumbest anything that you can train a dog to do Just think about what people do the dolphins Uh, just thinking that there's Fucked up.

2:02:11I mean that they're really smart Now imagine some aliens are just like what if humans are delicious? What if like in all the cosmos they're like the favorite food? Yeah, we're like a buffet. Yeah, and maybe you get intelligence from them Maybe when you eat people you get get a little bit of their DNA We're like they're what is it called their limitless pill like oh man You want them all you get like you fork it was sorry. Maybe we're like the mushroom right? Like we get them high. Yeah, they have a trip. Yeah, it wasn't that like dolphins use pufferfish to get high That's hilarious. Yeah, it's suckered in toxins How do they do how would they figure that out?

2:02:51Yeah, so Joe how long before do you think uh they confirmed that we got you know that the aliens are real Every week man, I'm I keep watching these stories and I'm like, uh I was just in Las Vegas last week too. I was looking for those eight feet aliens that the guy was talking about That one That one's us. We were talking about that earlier like that. Come on. Come on Yeah, that George NAP guy who's the probably the lead investigative reporter when it comes to the UFO phenomenon He's the guy that discovered Bob Lazar and that you know he's He went to try to talk to those people and they were kind of avoiding him They didn't knock they didn't answer the door.

2:03:28Mm -hmm, which um, but it could be that they just don't want the attention Like maybe they freaked out Maybe they had no idea it was gonna go viral like that. Maybe it really happened Look imagine if it really happened Imagine you're just chilling in your backyard and you can And you're like what and you go outside and you see a fucking UFO and a 10 foot alien And you stand there and you're staring at him and then they get back on the craft and take off and you're like What the fuck just happened? And then no one's gonna believe you so you tell people but you feel so stupid They're like yeah, they're in my backyard.

2:04:02They're like 10 feet tall and they had big eyes and I was like look at this More on the fuck out of here But maybe it really did happen and maybe you realize like what am I gonna do? Have people just keep telling me I'm a liar or just shut the fuck up. Maybe I'll just shut the fuck up Maybe I would shut the fuck up. Maybe if it happened in my yard. Maybe if they landed in my yard I would just I would just know for sure they're real but keep it to myself I don't want to think about it. Yeah, if something like that happened like you know Look for you know, can you prove this? Can you can you tell this story without looking like a total lunatic right this thing landed?

2:04:36All right, so there's a ring okay? There's the burn marks from the jets or whatever there's footprints. There's certain there's certain elements But everybody's so quick on the draw like if something happens you know fight breaks out world started two seconds Gunslingers with their cameras right why wouldn't you be a gunslinger? Why would fucking you have thrown in front of you? That'd be the first I know Instantly like what is that that'd be the first thing you go not in the backyard and you're not gonna There's no reason why there shouldn't be more yeah more footage more clean footage because it's always grainy It's always messed up.

2:05:06It's a shadow. It's a bush. It's And also I'm like here's my problem with it my problem is that I want it to be real And I know a lot of people want it to be real and I also know it's an amazing distraction It's an amazing distraction for a bunch of ways like let's let's imagine that what we're actually looking at is United States military Vehicle that they have developed secretly that operates on some different kind of propulsion systems some sort of gravity drive or something And maybe it's a drone and they can shoot these things across the sky and same rates of speed But they don't want to admit they have the technology What better way to say that we're being visited what better way like if you really were gonna high technology If you had bases under the sea where you had hypersonic drones just shot through the sky at you couldn't even follow with your eye if you had those Why would what what better way to hide it than to say smoke and mirrors over here Yeah, and then have a few whistle blowers come out and have these guys well I can tell you definitively that we have recovered 12 crashed UFOs.

2:06:12I know it sounds crazy Like that kind of stuff makes me wonder like that's how I would do it If I wanted to do people into thinking that these things that may maybe they occasionally see that we operate That they're not hours because we don't have that kind of capability if I was gonna lie about our capability Which maybe you should and maybe they've done before with like the stealth bomber remember they fucking developed that bitch People thought they were seeing UFOs and saw that thing fly around you ever seen one of those in real life. Yeah, woo pretty cool Pretty fucking cool I would say that they're UFOs.

2:06:44That's what I would say Like they they don't tell the truth about anything right they never tell you about top secret stuff that you really don't have What are you gonna do with the the information that UFOs are real? What is the general public gonna do with it jack shit? I'm not gonna do anything So if they had it why are they tell us they really had irrefutable evidence that this something is off -world vehicle Comes from another dimension it comes from the planet. Why would it tell us they want to tell us is they have to tell us or They would tell us the stuff that they have is actually from another planet because they don't want people to know what they can do yet That's what I would do I mean if I had a history of deception I would be deceiving people about that or it could be really aliens and that's the problem and I don't I know me and I want it to be aliens real bad Ha ha ha real bad So I will not be objective when I look at that subject.

2:07:45I am always going to be hopeful I'm always going to be having fun with it. I'm always going to be thinking that it's probably real I believe the pilot I think the math is says it all I mean it's the universe is so mad I mean it's so massive. How can how can we be the only ones? We may not be We might be visited and it might be a combination of both of those things It might be some of those things are our drones And it might be some of the things are not ours and maybe some of the things are from other countries as well And it may be some of those things are from another planet or maybe from some life form that we have and established that has bases in the ocean Because there's a lot of these at least one of them that got on video that is A craft that was flying in the air and then went into the ocean and didn't even make a splash Just went right in the ocean.

2:08:36Yeah, like what is that is that bullshit? I don't know. It's kind of blurry like I wish it was clean But it was miles away and they're you know using infrared footage at night or whatever the night vision at night Who knows who fucking knows the problems. I want it to be aliens. That's the problem Some like pro. There's so much evidence now And even talk to people like Michio Kaku is his physicist is brilliant guy and he's saying That there's more evidence that they exist then the then now it's up to the people that don't think they exist to try to prove it wrong Because there's so much visual visual evidence tracking evidence tracking data But I'm always like What have they been working on some stuff?

2:09:16What have they just scooped up top scientists and fucking they've got some sort of plan for some different propulsion System and it's operable and they've been working on it for decades in secret What if it what if that's the case that seems like It could put if the technology is that advanced that where did you get it? Well like I get you know you smart enough to come up with certain things, but you know people did research on gravity drives And there's there's papers that were written on the possibility of manipulating gravity I just don't think there was ever a power source that was figured out.

2:09:50I don't think Like you'd have to generate some fucking insane amount of power to be able to manipulate gravity But I think they theorized it a long time ago So if you just threw all the best scientists and all the money that you could possibly fucking Steel from the taxpayers and you funneled it off into this program that's making a UFO maybe they could do it I don't know I mean I'm not in that world, you know You know, that's like if someone said to you Imagine there's a guy out there Nobody's ever heard of him. He's never done stand up before but he's been practicing And he writes comedy every day and he practices in front of the mirror and one day he's gonna go on stage He's gonna be the best comedy that's ever lived He'd be like no, it's not possible He's not gonna be able to just go on stage the first time and be the best comic that's ever lived It's literally not possible So maybe the things that I'm saying about physics and these physicists developing this gravity drive without anybody knowing Maybe that's not possible because maybe that's not my world, you know But you're looking at it through through through the eyes of a comic who understands timing and and you have to you know Trial and air and and you know when they would look at physics that way They would understand what they're you know, they would say no, no, you can't just you can't violate the laws of physics with a select group of people They stay quiet and don't tell people about it and come up with some insane new method of propulsion You know these things they've tracked them they go from 50 ,000 feet above sea level to 50 feet in like a second They've no idea how it's doing it No heat signature The things are blocking their tracking Devices like whatever radar systems they're using which is technically supposedly an act of war Like it's a wild shit, man, and they don't know what it is They think it was interacting with some base in the water and the guy who saw it was on the podcast commander David Fraver And it's a crazy story Because he was with another fighter jet.

2:11:49They all saw multiple people saw they filmed it They have all the tracking data that shows us insane rate of speed that it went out They don't know what the fuck that is man You know and also the when you say the laws of physics Maybe the laws of physics don't apply to wherever that technology came from right? It's very different or also maybe we just don't understand all the laws of physics Maybe it's malleable and that's like this idea of a gravity drive like that Maybe you can instead of traveling through space you can literally fold space to you And then and then instantaneously appear or yeah Like some sort of like they've described it in the movie event horizon that you would essentially a piece of paper You would fold the two pieces of time together and punch a hole through both of them and wind up on the other side when it flattens out Okay, it's deep okay Maybe Maybe all right.

2:12:44What's in the top of work? But I think that yeah And now you're ready to meet the devil I think maybe if aliens are real, I think we'd be interesting You know, I certainly think they'd come here and maybe they've always been coming here I don't really don't know. I don't know, but I want it. I want it to be real That's my problem my problem is I'm a true believer so I want it to be real So I always have to go. I don't know But I try to do that with everything. It's right to do that with everything. I would man I don't know something smells funny. I don't want to be that guy. I was calling bullshit when it's not bullshit So I have to be careful and gonna really look at it and just let it let it operate for a while watching behave And so the more I watch this UFO thing operate The more it gets skeptical I'm like it just seems to like a psi op it seems to It's too much of it just seems like fucking fabricated You know like even the stories about finding them in an archeological dig and Sure Are you sure that's what happened?

2:13:49You know, it's just the narrative they're telling you why would they tell the truth? Why would they tell the truth if they had some fucking crazy object? They've been working on and maybe the scientists that really knew how to work at dead And so now you got new guys you're bringing in to try to like back engineer his work But maybe that's what they do like who fucking knows man who knows but I know the UFO stories the most fun the alien stories The most fun that's the one I'm most interested in Yeah, every night man. It's like okay. Uh -huh. You seen moment of contact. No, you need to watch that moment of contact Yeah, it's a documentary about a UFO crash in Brazil in Vagina, Brazil in 1996 and the whole town saw it The all these witnesses in the town saw the things saw the the things in the sky and one of them was a lightning storm like a terrible lightning storm and one of them crashed and these people Found whatever the thing was and two bodies and one of them was alive And they picked the one that was injured and they took it in a car to several different hospitals All documented that they took this body and the guy who is carrying the body died of a serious bacterial infection that they could not cure They didn't know what the fuck it was young healthy guy the guy handling the alien body got oh he died within like two weeks They didn't know what the fuck there's all this documentation on the disease the progression of the disease how they couldn't stop it They didn't know what it was some crazy bacterial infection that he got And they think he got it from that alien Is that true?

2:15:24I don't know I wasn't there, but goddamn I wanted to be true now this is a documentary. Yeah, it's great Documentary. It's on Netflix or it's on Apple. I think it's on everything. Is it on everything Moana contact it's definitely I think it's on Apple TV. It's fucking well kind of footage that they have Well, they don't have any footage. That's the problem They have eyewitness accounts. They have um They have they know that the US Air Force landed one of their large cargo jets in Brazil in varginia and supposedly left with the wreckage, but they know that they came in they were called in Definitely on amazon rent or buy yeah, it's so it's on iTunes also.

2:16:06It's a few places I found where you could find it for free, but um what's crazy is they bring this cop back to the spot where the crash was where they first saw the crash And the guy hadn't been there and forever and the dude just starts crying. He just starts weeping And I'm like if this guy If this if this guy is an actor He needs a fucking economy. Get him get him on get him on the moon the the moment like this moment where he's overwhelmed Or he's talking about the experience of seeing this thing there and knowing that it's from somewhere else And seeing these things these little tiny things with big eyes Staring at him and these girls there's three girls that were like very young at the time They were sisters and they were they were playing outside and they saw this thing And they said the thing was like trying to communicate with them telling them tell them to help it And they freaked out and they all had the exact same story everybody saw them said the exact same thing what they looked like Like these weird things with tiny things with big eyes I don't know if it's true man, but I want it to be true.

2:17:01That's the problem. I want it all to be true That guy's passionate. No the way he's he tells the story you could tell either like you said He's a great actor or yeah, or he's reliving it I Got it. I'm maybe it's a mass psychosis. Maybe they're all in mushrooms Maybe or maybe he's telling the truth which would be fucking insane and if there are really are things If there really are things that can visit us and the thing the question would always be like would they How they're their vehicles would crash when they be past crashing now when they be beyond that and technology Not necessarily because here's a thing If you think about like where the technological level that human beings are at right now like in a first world country And then you go to the Amazon and you have the indigenous hunter gatherer tribes who still live the old way They're there two at the same time in 2023 So just because there's aliens out there doesn't mean they're all the same level of advancement There might be an alien out there that's a thousand years ahead of us just a thousand and every now and then they get hit by lightning Just like everybody does you can't predict it and they make their way through and they might have landed They might have ported ported back to wherever the fuck the lightning storm was and didn't understand It was gonna happen and got fucked up and crash landed in a backyard in Brazil might happen What always gets me is that the technology on like spacecraft never matches the body like it's always something that's like uh All these different like like right now there's that video that they're showing um Something in the backyard that's hiding and this thing looks all it almost looks ape like Like it so there's nothing that you know, it's not what I don't know about video.

2:18:44What is this video? What I'm saying, but you know what you're talking about right? But I know what you're talking about it's fake is fuck right They were saying it was the UFO from the Saying this the biggest thing but I mean the one audio and put over top of another video and uh Yeah They're you never see the the body or whatever match whatever the technology as far as the craft Well the most compelling story does and that's the boblas r story and boblas r is a guy who is a propulsion's expert He says he was hired to Work in Vegas back engineering in in Nevada in the in the desert area s4 where they were back engineering and alien craft And he said it was designed for tiny things like something that was like three feet tall Like you had a crouch inside of it and he said everything was impossibly smooth Like it was like melted wax like there was no seams There was none of the way it it was constructed whatever the metal was was sun like it was one piece Yes, and it was some metal they just do not they did not understand it and they had a reactor and then this reactor Created some sort of an anti -gravity wave that allowed this thing to move and this reactor was based on an element That wasn't on the periodic table yet element 115 and these people these beings supposedly have a stable version of this element and in this reactor it allows them to Violate all of our understanding of of propulsion systems and use some sort of gravity -based propulsion I wanted to believe it.

2:20:12That's the problem sounds awesome. I want to believe all of it I don't even want to question him for a second. I don't want to believe there's any lies Oh, yeah, that looks fake as fuck I still know where it's from it's got to be from somewhere, but what is that That looks so weird dude like a monkey, right? Yeah, that looks like some sort of a big foot. I mean Said it's eight feet tall big foot from space, bro Maybe that's it Yeah, so what is it are they are they small little Martians are they they big giant you know Well, are looking things supposedly there's two different kinds would it come to the great the greens the yeah They come the grays and the tall whites and the tall whites almost looks Scandinavian They have like white hair and they have their ears are like flat against their head and their eyes are like twice as large as ours But why am I saying that I don't know what the fuck I'm saying so many said it.

2:21:05So I repeated it Right, you know the problem is then you start looking for that. So save your tripping on mushrooms You might manifest like a gray talking to you because you know like from closing counters the third kind You expect that's what the alien is going to look like So maybe it shows Itself to you in that form because that's how you can handle it The what do you call what's the other one the the shape shifters? Mm -hmm and then there's the men in black right? They come busy and fucking erase your brain What are you doing? Oh I was waiting. I was like he's in a pull something cool up right now the way you lean back.

2:21:41I thought you're gonna bring up something I'm like here comes my head I think we're both like I hope aliens are real. I really do and I hope that let's like the the fairy tale is that they're gonna protect us from blowing ourselves up That's the fairy tale. That's that's the that's the that would be the best case scenario that what they're doing here Is that they're here to monitor our nuclear power and our nuclear weapons and make sure we don't launch them at each other Because that's when they first start showing up all the the stories about UFOs really kicked in after Hiroshima and Nagasaki That's when it was like UFOs were hovering over the White House and you ever see those pictures?

2:22:23No Yeah, there's like an ancient photo of UFOs over the White House Like you see like a few flying saucers that they photographed in the sky Flying over the White House. Of course, it's grainy, but it's like 1952 Is it two? 51 52 That that story is but there is a video from not too long ago where people think that was happening again Do you have the photos from the old one though the original that but that that's when is this one from that's so that's that's totally fake What is that 11 that's from 2011 on some video that I think was in c -span or something something was going on back there Could be spotlights that just we have to see the video.

2:23:02What are they saying it was UFOs? I just it do you have a response to our White House response to your full request so someone remember that from 2011 do you sort of I Have seen a few videos or people are watching these as long you know big B -roll footage of like stylons people like look at that fly by this and This is this is from NBC. I'm not gonna play Sorry, that's okay Yeah, there's the also to how how would they know to fly over that that's like that's the place to be Think that that's fake obviously I know but how what is that in the left -hand corner? Just not that no, I don't know that they would have had a photo of this.

2:23:46This story was in the paper for sure Oh, so maybe they didn't have any photos Yes, someone would have been taking a picture at night Right right no one's there. Yeah, you're probably right. Yeah, it's probably everything So hard today with all these fake images I could do any AI is scary I'm in Roman right here is the deep red it's this isn't the best place to take Okay So that's a photo supposedly in 1952. Oh there it is huh, but that does it that looks like reflection and that could be a lot of things Yeah, I could be a lot of things could be birds, but it looks big All right, they look kind of big.

2:24:29Those are like cars in the sky bigger than cars Don't they Behind the tower right don't know where the person was taking the photo. Yeah, also. How do I know that's real or is that verified? Yeah, it could be dust in the print when they were making it even people fuck with pictures so much man Look, there's a little scratch up in the corner up there. What is that above your cursor? I know. Look at that That's another you have that's a guy Skyfish. Yeah, it's aquaman guy spill coffee on the negative. I want it to be real. That's the real problem. Don't you? You know what I believe it. I don't know that I want it to be real because part of me is like I think I think that they would look at us like we're an ant farm Well, maybe you know or like whenever you see You know primates and they're teaching them sign language or they teach them how to do certain things and it's like okay Maybe you know they're teaching us how to do certain things just to see what we do You know what I mean?

2:25:26It's like maybe that the the level of intelligence You know we have a certain understanding and we can only unlock so much But who knows what level you know whatever else out there's that and maybe say yeah, let's do it We hear let's teach them how to make how to make a you know be able to talk to each other Let's teach them how to do this maybe for maybe to study you never know could be I Would guess that we're figuring that out on our own but that they If I was an alien life form, I would watch us and I would say let's just make sure they don't fuck anything up Like there seem to be on a path the path is technological progression everything keeps getting better and faster and Computers and electric cars and airplanes are faster and everything's far better and computers is far more power At a certain point in time I bet every civilization goes through that if they get to be if aliens are real if they really get to be super sophisticated Where they can travel through the cosmos I bet they all get to that point where they're learning How to be civilized at the same time they're learning Insane technology and then the people that get access to the insane technology are still barbaric And they still want to use it to fucking new countries and shit like this is probably a balancing act there That gets achieved by ever civilization and it's probably pretty precarious like right now like in the state where we're at now might probably like Getting close to the research pretty precarious like this kid like the Ukraine thing like they're actually shooting Giant metal pipes at each other boom boom like this is actually happening So if I was an alien life form and I realized that this is a nuclear superpower that's engaging in this like I'd be like Hold the fuck on you break that let me break the kids up.

2:27:11Yeah, hey relax But also if I was a government I wanted a lot of people about some shit that I had I'd start putting all these UFO stories out there That way you could scare the shit out of them If the found out there was an alien invasion the only way to stop it was a shut down the internet And give the controls of the internet to the president where they could limit it to a certain amount of time during the day Yeah, cuz the aliens can't let the aliens take over come on Oh, I always said to like, uh, you know, I don't think they'll We'll go back to the you know stay home mask situation unless we get to a point where it had to be the next level It couldn't just be an illness.

2:27:53It couldn't be a virus or disease. It would have to actually be Yeah, well, beings are here people know the playbook now for that one They don't know the alien playbook So if an alien invasion or fake alien invasion happens Look we know what happens when people get freaked out That's the war of the world's gonna be the orson well thing. Yeah, you mean that's wild like they announced at the beginning of that broadcast What it was but a lot of people tuned in the middle haha Those were the fuckers on the a -ilen You imagine that like dude you're just home and all of a sudden you turned that on and I think people killed themselves Was there any a suicide that was attached to the orson well?

2:28:35I think we've gone over this before and I think there was at least one suicide that someone was so scared that the Martians were coming to they killed themselves Oh, man bro, yeah, like that's what happens when people freak out, and if they freak out over a virus imagine how they're gonna freak out about aliens. And what if they're aliens that are harvesting human souls or something fucking demonic and wild like that? That's the never get my soul. You never know I'm saying like people say, they'll never get my soul. There's a PBS article that is counter to this story we've heard for a while. It did a little bit of research on it and it says that not only did very few people hear the actual broadcast virtually no one thought it was real.

2:29:19Really? But wait a minute, why was that like a cultural narrative for so long? I could read a shrewd in articles. Maybe it's who's saying this? There's a couple different researchers who have looked up the stuff. I don't know what this article says. Memory and media have an incredibly complex relationship. Well, that is true. Could be based maybe because some headlines are posted that just said that and that's what everyone says. Right. Which they definitely did a lot. Well, that's re -fermandeness. They definitely did a lot of that back then. They lied about a lot of shit back then. Also, whoever would maybe be the newspaper and the radio station or in Cahoots.

2:29:56Yeah, that's true, right? And even today to this day they use sensationalist headlines. So maybe they did that like telling people that everybody believed it and then the story spread. That kind of makes sense. This is from surveys done immediately after the program. Mill, the problem with that is I didn't believe it at all. I'm too smart for that fucking radio. You know, it says probably a bunch of people that got duped. But putting stuff out there like that back then, you think people were more likely to believe it back then because it was so like, oh shoot. Yeah, they didn't have the internet or they didn't have Twitter.

2:30:27They couldn't just go, what the fuck is this? And someone really actually we checked. This is what it is. Now you know, back then you have no idea. There was like, what are you gonna say? You read the newspaper. The newspaper is the truth. That's it. That's all you get. So they could, that's why everybody was so scared of weed. Because William Randolph Hearst conspired with Harry Anselinger to make marijuana demonized and they put it in the newspapers. Yeah, the insanity. Yeah, it makes you do it. Oh my God. You made you do every madness. It's an amazingly stupid movie. This guy smoking pot, just fucking throwing people out of windows.

2:31:02Like, yeah, that's closer to blow. Yeah, yeah, or angel duff. Some PCP, something else. Yeah, something else. That's what make you do that, but weed. Nah, not so much. But listen brother, I'm glad we got to do this. Let's do it again. I'm glad you're at the club. I'm fucking super pumped to have you there this weekend. Two shows tonight and tomorrow night. Are you doing Sunday's? No, whole weekend. The whole weekend. Whole fucking weekend. Beautiful. All right, man. I'm glad we did it. Thank you. This is awesome. I'm like, I'm like, how come I haven't done this show soon? I love conspiracy theories and talking about drugs and comedy.

2:31:36This is awesome. Let's do it again brother. Let's do it again. Finally got to do it. Yes, me too. So thank you very much. Thank you. All right. Bye everybody.