#2011 - Tony Woods

24:43Yeah. That guy. You did a show with them. Yeah. Well, I didn't do a show with him. I mean, you know, right over there, we all hung out together. How crazy is that? It is. You were hanging out with the president of Ukraine. The future president of Ukraine. Yeah. Imagine all the people who said, man, you smoke new ports with that dude. Nah, he's president. I'll talk about a bomb. Man, man, I do smoke new ports, man. So, uh, the president of Ukraine is a fucking comedian. Wild. And, yeah, never mind. I'm not saying that. Yeah. We didn't know that. I was thinking about the space ship up there. I remember one of the presidents that we had here.

25:23And he was doing like a tour at Air Force Base. And the guy says, this is stealth fighter. He goes, yeah, it's invisible. Like, one of the women's planes. You remember? He said that? No. He said that. Well, he's incorrect. Yeah. Wow. He said, they call it the stealth fighter because it gets invisible like one of the women's Yeah, you just can't see it on radar. You can look at it. It's right there. I wasn't. The wonder woman playing would like go transparent so you can see the clouds. Yeah. That's next level shit. They're going to do that for sure because they already have clothes that can do that.

25:58They have like a cloak that you can wear and the cloak will like transmit an image of what's behind you. Yeah. So like a silk like a LCD or LED screen. It's really interesting. Like they figured out how to do some weird stuff that makes it look like someone's invisible and things are invisible. And it seems like a matter of time before they can apply that at a higher level. Look at that. They're ladies like standing. They used to do that in front of something. Did you ever do Bruce Harris Club before it was the start -home? No. Before it was the start -home, he had a... He had a... He had a...

26:37What have it? The screen is. What is that object she's using to do that? Is that a thing she's holding in front of her? Yeah. It seems like she's holding a screen. Yeah. And it looks like she has... Little crystals on it. It looks like she has camel pants on. So that's a little misleading. So she's got camel pants on standing in front of that tree and then the thing is showing the image of the tree behind her. Wow. Yeah, they could apply that to a plane. For sure. And then you know, with the stealth technology. The predator. The predator. Exactly. That's exactly the thing. The language. The alien language.

27:22Boy, if that's what the alien is like, we're fucked. Well, he was a sort of hunt and trip. Yeah. He was no different than you. He was just going to kill some animals. Yeah, but he's just taking their hats. He's just rude. I eat them. He doesn't even eat them. Kills all those nice people. What do you think about big game hunters? Like the people go to Africa. Africa is a very complicated situation. Yeah. Because Africa has more wild game right now than any time over the last few decades. And the reason why they have that is because they made it very valuable. So these people set up these large wild game camps and they, people from all over the world come there and they pay a lot of money and they hunt.

28:10And they can hunt anything. Will debase, giraffes. They can't bring it back with them. And they can eat the meat while they're there and they'll donate the meat to the villages, which they very much appreciate. My friends have been over there said it is actually a very nice feeling. But what about lions? They don't eat the lions. No, lions is just... It's just like to say you hunted a lion, the thrill of hunting a lion. And then there's the conservation aspect of it. They do have to kill a certain amount of lions. So they have a population control that they do. So like when they, remember when Cecil the Lion got killed and everybody freaked out, they shut down lion hunting.

28:51And then they had a surplus of lions. And then lions were killing too much antelope and undilets. So then they had to send in hunters like professional killers to kill the lions. Do you remember this movie? This episode is brought to you by Buffalo Trace Distillery. Actually have some Buffalo Trace cigars here they just sent me. One of the world's most award -winning distilleries that's been making whiskey the same way for more than 200 years. Made as a tribute to the rugged free spirited pioneers who blaze their own trail to new frontiers. It embodies the perfectly untamed spirit of independence.

29:30It defines what an award -winning bourbon should be. Age nearly twice as long as competitors in new charred white oak barrels and bottled at 90 proof, Buffalo Trace is the perfect bourbon to be enjoyed in any way, anywhere. And the taste, it's damn good. It's bold and sophisticated yet incredibly smooth finishing long and deep. It's authentically American representing uncompromising quality for the rugged, the powerful and the passionate. Tap the banner to learn more or visit buffalotracedustillery .com. That's buffalotracedustillery .com. Distilled, aged and bottled by Buffalo Trace Distillery, 90 proof, Franklin County, Kentucky, Buffalo Trace, American, family owned, independent and perfectly untamed.

30:26They're Kurt Douglas with that. Yeah. The ghost of the darkness. Yeah, so a couple of fine out there. That's a true story. Yes. And they did the thing on the lines and one of the lines he had, he had an injury. He had heard his jaw was tooth or something like a real bad bullet hole. No, he just like biting something big. I broke a tooth. And so that's why he was hunting humans because it's easier. It's like you can cut and candy as opposed to that. Right. But the other one was fine, but I guess that was like, all right, man, you're on this special diet. I'm on it with you. Let's go get these motherfuckers.

31:07Well, once you eat us, it's probably so easy. Yeah. If we don't taste absolutely terrible, the lion pair was said to have killed 135 people. Boom. Holy shit, 1898. And tell them why his, because one of them had, so it's little lion breath probably stuck. It's stunk. It said the sample man eaters the most widely studied man eating pantherine cats, given their behavior of hunting humans as a pair as well as dental injuries reported in one of the lions, caused commonly attributed to big cats, turning to humans as prey. And these dudes was weird too, because they didn't have mane. They were both males.

31:50Oh, like that? Is that what they looked like? Yeah. Wow. How come they didn't have mains? Yes. So they were equivalent of a guy with a big butt. Duh. Yeah. But why didn't they have mains? I don't know. That's so strange. Yeah. These two dudes was supposed to put it to say anything about why they didn't have mains. That's so fascinating. Yeah. No mains and his breath. I thought they all, all the males had mains. And these two dudes, so they were already outcased. No mains, bad breath. Yeah. They got nothing after you eat. They were in a railroad track and eat some dudes. Imagine you're spending your whole life trying to kill a zebra.

32:33They're fast as fuck. You got a sneak up on them. You got to get them. And then you find these people like, oh, Jesus. They can't even run. I'll stealth it over their own feet. They're wearing shoes. He has to take them out. And like, oh my god, this is so much easier. We can get fat. Yeah. No work. No run. No work. No, it's just like. They can't even see it tonight. Yes. These are more ones. And they were all railroad workers or something like that. Yeah. You just wait until someone has a piss. Yeah. Sovo males look different as well. The most vigorous serengeti male sport, large mains. While the Sovo, they have short, thin mains or not at all.

33:09It's all about water, Patterson says. Sovo is hotter and drier than the serengeti and a male with a heavy main with squander his daily water allowance by simply panting under a bush with none despair for patrolling his territory, hunting or finding mates. Oh, wow. That's why they's rocking ball heads. That's wild. I did not know that. So are there lions like that right now that are there? See if you can find like male lions out there with no mains. Wow. That's interesting. I didn't know that existed. Well, have you guys been watching a chimp empire? Yes. I have the guy who directed it. Yeah, dad, well, how many years did that take?

33:50Oh, look at them. Well, here's a deal. They had set up scientists that set up research there 30 years ago. So they had been continually studying these chimps and they had like very specific rules of engagement. You can't ever eat in front of them. You can't be closer than 20 feet or was it 20 yards? 20 yards. You can be closer than 20 yards. They were right there with them. So they're right there with these chimps mad. And so they're like filming everything and the chimps get accustomed to the people being there because the people never interact with the chimps. And if the chimps walk towards the people, the people just back away.

34:26And again, you can never eat in front of them ever. I tell you, just steal your food and fuck you up. What blew me away was when they ate monkeys. Oh, yeah. I was like, dude, that's okay. They ate a lot of monkeys. Yeah, David Adamborough, I think was the first guy to capture that. That on film on the BBC. And I remember watching that. And he's seen this little monkey and he's still alive. And the chimps eating them from like the asshole first. And I always thought that they were like vegetarians. I thought they were like gorillas. Gorillas don't eat meat. No, they don't eat meat. I thought it was just a right.

35:02No, no, bad bones. I thought they were the only one who ate. Yeah, I didn't know either until I watched that documentary. But they eat a lot of monkeys. And this is one of the things that he was kind of like reluctant to talk about the director. I'm like, how often do you eat monkeys? He's like, all of the time. Every time they can. Every time they can. It's like, with us, it's like fast food. Like literal fast food. There you go. There you go. It's just, I was thinking they ate them because they had tails. So now I'm considered them apes. So I just, I don't think that morals. Yeah, I think that's just survival.

35:38It's a little whitties. He's a knife from the ass back with the, yeah. And the way the monkey was screaming at the temple is just like, they're so close to us. So when we see them getting eaten, even though we're getting eaten by something that's even closer to us, it still is like, what? But people eat monkeys. That's a lot of the tribe's people. Pigeon eating chicken. Right. Right. Or chicken eating birds, the eat birds. Yeah. Well, I guess birds of prey eat other birds too. Oh, yeah. All the time. Yeah, I mean, there's crazy videos of seagulls. Seagulls are, they're just swallowing whole pigeons.

36:20Have you ever seen them do that? They swallow ducks. Yeah, they just, just, pelicans, pelicans swallow ducks. I don't pelicans. They swallow pelicans. They swallow seagulls. Pelicans are big as shit. They're so big. Well, they swallow shit. But it's crazy because the thing realizes that it got caught. You see it moving around inside of its mouth and it can't do shit about it. See if you can find, like, pelican eats pigeon. What about, on that chimpanzee, when they got the leader, they got him. Yeah. All his boys ran. Yeah. Look at this. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Look at him. He's throwing that thing back.

37:02Well, he's still scratching. Yeah. Well, it's still in there. Yeah. Oh, come on. Oh, he's in central parks, I don't know where that is. Yeah, it looks like people just walk around. Look at that. Look at him forcing it down. That's crazy. Get in there, bitch. That birds moving around inside of his neck. Have you ever seen a seagull eat a rat? Have you ever seen a seagull eat a rat? That's more impressive. Seagulls eat and rats are wild. They just throw them all back. Seagulls get them. Seagulls eat a rabbit, rat, pigeon, squirrel. Let's go with rat. It's the most disturbing. My voice does sound a little fucked up.

37:44I think I'm going to have to take these out. Oh, is that cat going to eat that bird? No, this is a seagull who's going to eat a rat. Look at him throwing his bitch back. Look at it. Just throwing it back. Come on. Yeah. It probably tastes nasty too. It's like Jesus Christ. I can't believe I'm doing this. Yeah. Yeah. How long do you think you can eat swallowing rats whole and live? I mean, how many of those people before this? Your whole body just filled with toxins. And that rat was dead. Oh, yeah. Probably for a long time. And probably dead with poison. Poison, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's one of the things that happens at the Hollywood Hills.

38:28They kill a lot of owls inadvertently because they're poisoning the rats. And the rats are running around. The owls eat the rats. The owls get poisoned. They had a, we have overrun of rats in DC. Just in the rats behave like squirrels. They just pop out. They don't give up. Yeah. But people are training their dogs. Do you go after rats? Do you go after rats? I know you guys seen that video. Yeah, but your dog can get rabies. Your dog can get all kinds of shit. I mean, most likely you don't. Most likely your dog will fuck up a rat. And they're saying for people to please curb your dog. Because the dogs eat dog food, which is high in protein.

39:09And the rats eat. Oh, well, it's hawk out that rat. It's still fucking rat. The legs are still rat. Hawks are fucking awesome. Yeah. They're so awesome. He just starts ripping apart. He's a boy from... There's a ton of videos of Eagles killing birds. Oh. Yeah. Oh, boy. Son. Oh, pay that a hand. Pay that a part of your... Oh. Just pop off of his head. Oh, give me that face. Jesus Christ. Jesus is going to be a young man. There's no morals involved in this. There's no thinking, no nerves, no remorse. That's got to be a hallway to go to. That's a hard way to go. Because you're in a shop. All of a sudden, these giant hands with claws that dig in your rib cage.

39:57And you already know your dead. Yeah. But that thing's grabbing you and it's flying off of you. You've already know your dead. You suffocate because he's way of digging out from your ribs, too. You've got holes in your ribs now. You've probably got a punctured lung. The crushing... Jesus, go ahead and eat me already, motherfucker. Jesus Christ. I'm my way here today. I've a bird dropped out of the sky when I was at a red light. And I was like, what the fuck was that? Oh, Tesla recording. Let me find out later. Oh, wow. I think a bigger bird got a bird and its friends were trying to like, get it back when they dropped it.

40:31They dropped it when it just dropped it. Whoa. So I could see other birds flying around as I went by. Yeah, bird on bird warfare is going on all the time. If you just throw out stuff for the seagulls that you give to one of them and they're going, no bitch, give me that. Yeah. They'll fight us. I was watching a bunch of crows chase off a hawk. There was all these crows that were like, they're swarming it on this hawk trying to get the fucking hawk out of there. There's a hawk. Eat their babies. Get out of here, bitch. But hawks, they, as far as flying, they can, the falcons, this is one who can maneuver real quick.

41:04They're really fast. Falkins are really fast. Yeah, where's the hawk? They come in dive bombing like 200 miles an hour. Like hawks more like a vet. Right. Yeah. But he can't. Yeah. Well, they just swarm on them to just fuck with them until he quits. Until he's burning off so much energy and he's so word out. He's like, I'll go find something else to eat. Happy? Have you ever done the comedy festivals in Australia? No. Man, shows me in Al Lubell. You know Al Lubell? Yeah. We walk. And it looks like on Batman, you know, when they do the bat symbol. Uh -huh. Because you're just looking down at the ground.

41:43We had no idea about the fruit bats in Australia. You know, they like, they're like this big. Right? So you walk it and it's just like, you see that? It must be a nightclub or something. And then you see a whole bunch of them. And look up like, I will look at that. And me, Al Lubell, Grimbaar, is it? I was freaking out. It's cold over here. It's just so bad. Look how big they are. They're like two hours. I think really that's how they are big. Look at that big one. Oh my god. Is that person holding the city? He's rolled down a little, Jamie. No worries. See, they're right in the city. They're not.

42:21Look at the size of the thing. You don't have to go to the woods, see these motherfuckers. Look at that guy holding one of the lady, holding one of the top. Look at the size of these things. Look at that. Right at her height. That's not in the wilderness. That's right downtown Sydney. Wow. Oh my god. What are those things eat? Fruit. Look at Jesus. Literally like flying chihuahua. Yes. Australia is a wild place. This, so we were there and they have a big, they have a big gala for the comedians. So and it's right in Chinatown and they said, hey, you know, be careful because the triad is open to the little gang members.

43:00Right. But they dress like they're in a video. They don't, you know, they don't, they don't look like they should fight with what they got on. They got like little suits and shit like that. Okay. So me being the big tough American, I'm like, yeah, I walk into the car. And because she has a train on her dress and everything is a black tie thing. Right. And we're walking to the car and I saw the biggest rat ever coming down the alley. He's just galloping right towards me. I'm like, yo, look at the rat. Yo, look at the rat. And she goes, she looks over and she goes, oh, but by that Tony was gone.

43:36I can't believe you ran. I can't believe you didn't run. What the fuck? I didn't know it was old possum. They're possum. Oh, right. With the big, he's like a monkey rat. Yeah. And he's coming down the alley. And you know, and I'm trying to tell her like, come on, come on, come on. And she's more worried about her shoes and shit. My dog got one of those in the yard the other day and it played dead. And he just left a real possum. A real possum, American possum. Yeah. They have the creepiest faces. But they do, they do play possum. Yeah, they play possum. And it works. They get a, I watched a video the other day of one getting attacked Australian possum.

44:16Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's what she said. She said, oh, that's a cute little guy. That dude, man. This little pink little nose. He was coming down the alley. He was coming at you. Yeah, yeah. That's pretty big. That's pretty big. Oh, yeah. And it's dark. It's dark. A giant rat. Yeah, giant rat. Jesus Christ. Look at his eyes. I'm gonna get rabies and London. Fuck this. I told you, I said, I fight them dudes. I said that loud. Like I fight them dudes. But she waited right into the last moment. Looked over and go, oh, Tony was gone. Peace, bitch. I saw a video of a coyote. He gets a possum. The possum plays possum.

45:03And while the possum's laying there, the coyote pisses on it. And then walks away. Like you left it there. Why you didn't? I don't know. I guess he's just like wanted to like, killed it. It's like good, I got it. I'm gonna just leave it there. I'll eat it later. Let it rot out a little bit. See, snatches it. And it just plays dead. It stops moving. So he's like, oh, all right, I guess it's dead. So he moves it around a little bit. It's playing dead. So he thinks it's really dead. So he pisses on it. Just to market. Yeah, watch. Gets over it. It's like, okay, this is mine, bitch. Somebody comes by and I'll let these motherfuckers know.

45:41Should I piss on my food? Yeah, I probably should. Let me piss on him real quick. He's just pissing on his lunch. He's just killing his lunch. On his lunch. Maybe that helps the food break down. Maybe it's a marinade or something. Did you see it up? Does he leave after that? Just left it there. Because that's what they do a lot of times with cats. They'll kill him and then they'll come back later and eat him when they're stiff. I think they like him a little Maggity. Wouldn't this think this is good? Yeah. I think, well, a lot of animals do that. They bury their food after they kill it. Because I guess it's that curing meat or something.

46:18Well, if I would imagine it gets a lot more moist or a lot more tender for all the meat is breaking down. It's not as gamey. Oh. I think they're probably just using what? Well, I mean, maybe they develop a taste for it. Who is this animal? What's someone in it at the other day? He's like just the baddest little honey badger. You ever see one of them? Oh, yeah. I saw him. I never, he fights a lot. He's just an asshole. He's just a bad animal. Ferocious little animal. Yeah. This is good, man. Because I probably do animals all the time. You have problems with animals? He just, I don't know, man. I got attacked by like what's it called?

47:01Pig meat goats. Really goats are mean sometimes. This was like a children's thing. Yeah. And we're in London and it was kind of embarrassing. It's my fact. It was me, Bradjianny, the round guy, and Stu Cayman's. And we're in the children's zoo of London. And we walk by the only Virgo. And it's a little monkey jumped on the thing. And he just started screaming right at me. Like, I'm like, really dude, you're going to do that. You're going fucking do that, right? You're going fucking do that. You pass. And then we go to feed the little goats, the little pebbles. And I had on these red Nike's. And every little goat in their mother's fucking just starting going crazy.

47:44And then again, I was the asshole again. Because I kicked one. I was like, yo. And as I knew, you kicked them and suddenly they kicked them out. Like, the little kid, because the goats were just making a b -line for my sneakers. Trying to eat them? Just fucking want them. Just chewing on them and just fucking with them. Yeah. Bradjianny was crying. Hmm. Because he does this when he laughs. I saw him the other day. He looks like Miami Vice. What's he doing these days? Well, he's been there. You know that. What do you mean? He's been there. What does that mean? Well, a future Rama. Oh. He's been there the whole time.

48:26I don't even, what's for your drama? It's a cartoon. The cartoon, right? I never watched that show. I heard it's really good. What, when you hear his voice, you go, oh, see, they see, look at Johnny. Oh, look at that. They were funny together, man. Yeah. Bradjianny, the round guy, it was a funny combination too. I know he was going to be this type of party. I mean, you should say that. Yeah. It's funny when you know guys as long as we have. Yeah. You know? Yeah, look at him. Look at him. Kids. I mean, Tony, I've known you for like 30 years. Yeah. I was in the wild. When I first came to New York, I was at 91.

49:04And I just, 91, I just come, I just, yeah, I got released from military. And at one week, I did a Carolina's Comedy Hour in Dev Jam. Wow. And I was like, boy, this Carolina's going to work out for me. I had no idea. Dev Jam was going to blow like that, man. Yeah. And I, well, yeah, speaking of animals, I had done something on showtime. It's called Leslie Nielsen, National Manpool, Comedy Playoffs. Right? And it was they pick a comedian from all over the country. Go out to Vegas. We stayed in this Sahara hotel. Because my last name is Woods. I had a suite. So the other guys had a regular room, but I had a suite.

49:46And on that show, I tell a joke about Bigfoot. I never saw Bigfoot, but I was, we were, we were on training. You do these training where you go make maps and all this shit. And we heard him. You heard Bigfoot? Heard Bigfoot. What's this sound like? Heard! I could still do that. He does that. But he, everything you see on them stupid TV shows, that happened. He threw a rock. All the animals started running. And then Marine, because you know, he's the guy who knows where the markers are, but we didn't know where the markers were. He's the one who says, hey, we're out of perimeter. Have you guys ever heard of Bigfoot?

50:26Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. He tells me. He was named American. But he just said that. Where were you guys? What state? Like Nova Scotia. Nova Scotia. What did they do? Cold weather training. Yeah. You have to make your own map. You sure they weren't fucking with you? I'm pretty sure. Who did that rock? Somebody that was fucking with you? No. 100, no. He was fucking with animals. We all the animals ran to. You know how you said they know how to get away? They all these fucking just, they just did a little mass accident. And it's a, it's a very skeptical Bigfoot. I've never seen him, but I'd never heard that like that either.

51:02So what if you had him, did it sound like a... It just sound like it was a... What was it similar to? You know, he had looked at Vandro's singular. Yeah. Oh my God. Like when you hear him on a record, this is one thing, but when you hear him live, he's like, like that, he didn't sound like that, but it was the same power. Power like, hair on the back of your neck kind of. What the fuck? Well, you know, bears do that sometimes. Bears, especially when... What time of the year was it? It was, it was winter. Because you listen to the wind, it sounds like a train coming. You have to turn away the wind is coming from, and like going a tree or something, because a lot of the ice sickles are coming like darts.

51:50Oh wow. Jesus. And that night we were joking, I was joking around about it and everything. And one of the officers says, you know, this is a facility and, you know, we don't, you're a comedian, we don't make... Basically, you can't go on stage and go, hey, guess what, I was at, and so I just, I was just, in the joke, I'm just camping and we... Oh, I see. Yeah. But there's nobody's in the military, but we, and then the joke I actually do see big foot. It's so funny. So tell me, so how did it happen? What was going on? What were the circumstances? We laid out for him. Okay. Yeah, you have, you get, because it's cold in this rain, and so we're like in a little circle.

52:38And it's kind of raining, kind of sleeping. And we're talking about, we're gonna do this, we do that, because we're comparing shit and everybody's fucking up. We find out third marker first. Like, it's supposed to be like a two or three day thing, right? And the good teams, like, you're doing in the classroom for a couple of days, and then the team goes out, team come back, team goes out. And some of the guys who weren't as good as us in the classroom were coming right back in two days. They just spent the night, spent one night, and came back. Shit, man, we was on our third day, don't. And then our first marker was the third marker, but he couldn't help us, but then after we heard that, he said, look, you guys fuck me up.

53:20Cause we're all, so how long did it take in total? We laughed right after that, don't? It told us the real way. We just, we didn't want to be there tomorrow. We wanted to be there. So yeah, it's a lot of fun. It's going on. Oh, okay. So he said, yeah, good enough. It's good enough. So you guys were out there and explained to me what happened and who was telling you that it's big for? Well, we all heard it. Well, everybody said, what the fuck? And then everything was running, dear, everything was just like scaring, but we heard the, you know, you throw a stick through the branches. He still was like, it's like a big something.

53:59Just flew through the trees and then I said, he's, he's kind of, you know, and of course, we like, fuck out of here. Right, but it was, it was just too weird to, and then he was like, yeah, you guys mister of a marker's, I might know where they are. So we just kind of, we ain't got all that markers and went back to the base. Cause we're out, dude, we out like 20 miles. You have to make it. Out there with big foot. Well, I wasn't really worried about big foot cause from a corner that dude, big foot don't bother you. I was worried about the other animals. So that dude seen big foot before? I don't know if he's seen him before, but he just said, you know, he just let you know when you gone too far in the woods.

54:44Really? Nobody ever says, nobody ever says that. He de -grabbs you and do not. He just does warning things. Just like on those stupid TV, you ever watch those shows? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Within a herd of sandquads. Yeah. That's been the least successful successful show ever. Yes, they've been trying to find big foot for like 18. I've spent a whole day on a road. Like if I'm running my hotel, I spent the whole day. Oh, shit, they bought the gator. Oh, shit. I like all my stuff. Me too. And then I'm like, it's five o 'clock. They got me again. Yeah, like fuck, man. Yeah, it'll get 70. Yeah, you know, yeah, that's not, those aren't so successful.

55:22I mean, the best they get is like a sound. Yeah, that's it. And that's all I got. Reality shows, man. They're not really reality. They fuck around. They fuck around with editing. You know, I was on one of those. What do you do to the naked one? A naked one? A naked one. Yeah, no, no. What's the call? A freight, naked in a freight. Yeah, I did. What'd you wear, man? If you know how about, I had a uniform on and we all got bugs. Yeah, I know. Yeah, oh my God, suffering. Yeah, also, I don't know if they look at, well, how bad can you get fucked up and how quickly can they get you to a hospital? Yeah, like you say, where are the, the watches?

56:04Where are the people? Yeah, because I mean, is it not safe? People got, the one town the lady had, the snatch was all swollen. Oh, because they said they had bitter all up and everything because her cycle came in. Yeah. Well, how about that show alone? Oh, yeah. See that show alone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The dude I had on the show, he shot a moose with a bow and arrow and then he had a killer wolverine that was trying to steal his moose. Woo, and he was naked through on the net. Oh, no. Oh, shit. Yeah. Fuck it. No, you would have made it. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's a loan is a show where you're allowed to have a certain amount of things, right?

56:45We had Jordan Jonas on the podcast. He's a guy with one. I think he won season six. Is that what he won? Do you remember? Tony, your phone's ringing. Yeah, I know. I told that shit. But that dude shot a moose with a bow and arrow. Do not know how to do that. There's only a little switch. I ended up taking a picture. Oh, huh. I'll say that. Make it vibrate. You just hit this little thing down. I thought it was it vibrated all the other times. Oh, it has to pop up. That's what it is. You have a phone case that has like a cover over your butt because I dropped my phone or not. How much do you drop it?

57:24All right, now it's all right. But I, you know, I always do this. Like I drop it, but I always catch it or kick it so that it never hits the screen. And then back and then hit that part. Jamie's one of those wrist takers. You just got to naked phone. Naked phone. You got a case now. Oh, it's got like, it's got coverage on the corners and so. Oh, right. That's the latest thing. Like that's been enough for you. Yeah, I dropped it just here today and like, it's crossing all there. There's the one. I didn't know that putting it on your waist was an old man. That's an old man move. Yeah, I know. Because I do that.

57:57My sounds like you never see a hot girl with a phone on her hip. Like a clip. So if you saw a girl, like a hot girl with like an iPhone Max on her hip, you're like, what the fuck is wrong with her? That's weird, right? You're like, she's weird. I will go that is so convenient. It's very good. It's very nice. Yeah, because you can do this. You turn it down. But you know what, ladies have now, they have like a thing that goes around their neck. It's almost like a purse and they keep their phone like on the hangin' and you know, a couple credit cards. Yes. Bam. That's a good move. And then I say, Mrs.

58:32Woods, your son told you that's dangerous. I'm like, Ma, somebody could just take the whole and everything's got. My mother has that. Oh. What you talkin' about with someone could snatch it. Yeah. Yeah, that's true too. Yeah. I don't, because it's all your baskets and one egg. Or something like that. Something like that. You know what I mean? Just say it, man. Yes, sir. Oh, you're an excellent one basket. Yeah, you always gotta be thinking about that, I guess. Convenience and theory. It's why Fanny Pack is the best move. And wait, hold up. You know, a Rubaray, right? Ray Allen. Okay. He does a show down in a Rubar and I was down there and what is this thing?

59:12Is this C -Eurgeon? Yeah. Yeah, that got me down there. I didn't step on it. Oh, yeah. He just asked, fuck that, but I just kinda, I stepped on one of those. I stepped on a fire ant hill on Saturday. On Saturday. I mean, those are the big ones that bite. No, they're little ones, but they find me out. Where'd they bite? Where'd they get you in? All over my foot. Look at my foot, looks like. I'll swallow this. Fuck, man. That was just yesterday. It's how you foot, man. It's fine. Now it's normal. But I got stunned like 15 times. My toes looked like that anywhere. Look at that, jammy. Jew. Yeah. Wow.

59:54You might, as my, as my, I got the thing and my baby toe to, to, to, to, because my baby toe tries to leave. Since you get the little rubber, put it up, bring it back up there, man. Like, yoga toes? Yeah. You see my toenails, you're gonna say thank you for your service. I was like, he's fucking, he's, he's gone. It was y 'all there. But they, my toenails got messed up when I was like, I think I was like 12. Do you remember many bikes? Mm -hmm. And they're little, with the little fat wheels. Yup. And I had on sandals. You remember the sandals? Oh, sandals back in the day with the tire threads on the bottom.

1:00:31Oh, yeah. And going down the hill, and you know, had the little brake with them. It's like a plate that stops on the back wheel. I heard something go, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, and my fucking was not slowing down. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. Yeah, and I just put my feet down. And, you know, of course the sandals come out my, oh Jesus Christ. It's all healed. It looks painful right now, but it's good. Ooh, how long did it take to heal from that? Yeah, I don't think they've healed. Ooh. Yeah, you know, it's just, it is what it is now. You know, T -Rex, you know him? No. It's high -rex.

1:01:05He tours a billbird. He says, he says, so you're going to do fire with this wood stain, because he said my toenails the wood. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Well, you have an excuse. Yeah. You don't realize how I help us, you have you, and if you just hurt your big toe on one of your feet, you're like, what the fuck? It's hard to move around. This, right here. Your pinky. Pinky. Yeah, pinky, because your big toe, because that's, that's your signal. That's how you pivot on, and so the big toe and, and, and, and, and, and, and, Pinky doesn't look like he's that important. It's true. Your little ring finger and ring finger can reduce your grip strength by 67 % of you lose them.

1:01:51Wow. Well, you need to follow me around. You're hanging over this. It's like 50 % of your hand strength. Because everything you're along with the ring feeling forms the power bottom of your, of your hand with your, while the thumb index finger and middle finger provide dexterity. That's interesting. I don't know if I, thanks. I'll really agree with that though. But it's, it's, it's right there. Yeah, but I don't know if that's universal. It might be depending on what you do. Yeah. Because if you grip a lot of stuff, or you carry a lot of stuff, I would imagine it would change. You're definitely going to have compensation because I fucked up my pinky and my whole hand was fucked up for a while.

1:02:32Yeah, but I got my pinky slammed in a car door. I told you about that. It was numb forever. It was numb for like a month and a half. Yeah, but I still did chin ups. I could still do chin ups. I just, just didn't do anything with this pinky. It didn't seem to like reduce my strength by that much. Here's a, there's a test of six different grip methods. One without the middle finger, one without the ring and little fingers. And they were both, that was the lowest. Right, but is that also a function of mechanics though? Because if you're removing the middle finger, do you have the same leverage on those other fingers?

1:03:04Because they're all connected, you know? And a lot of times things, this just looks thicker. You just, everybody else don't realize how important the pinky is until it gets fucked up. Well, that's also now that I'm thinking about though, maybe it is true, because maybe I should be thinking about what muscles of the forearm are pulling down. And maybe these ones are stronger. That's gonna bring up the pinky toe too. If you cut off your pinky toe, you lose, it's not all of your balance, but you're gonna have to figure out how to balance again, because it makes up a point of balance for you. Wow.

1:03:36Remember the Pope of Greenwich Village? Yeah, I do. I got my thumbs off, Charlie. I got my thumbs off, Charlie. I got my thumbs, Charlie.

1:03:51That was a good act, right? Oh my God, that movie was amazing. John Jones fucked his big toe up in a fight with Chelsea on it. He beat the shit out of Chelsea on it, and then got up and was doing the post -fight interview and looked down and saw that his toe was like flipped upside down. His big toe was. With the faint? No, no, we got him, we sat him down. He was like, oh boy, and I continued to interview him. His toe had flipped around. His toe had flipped around, because that's how much pressure he was putting into trying to beat Chelsea on it up. Like, yeah, his toe was fucked up. So we got him to get down.

1:04:35You can see that. Oh, mama. So that dude fucked up his own toe, and to this day, he fucked up his own toe, because he was pushing off so hard when he was beating down Chelsea on it. But to this day, he has to fight with that toe taped up. To this day. Imagine how much he lost from having an injured toe like that, and he's still the greatest. That shit hurts. Look at that. Heard's looking at it. Yeah, that's crazy. You guys, you guys seen this new movie with Woody Harrelson? No, I haven't seen it. It's called The Champions. Well, he gets a DUI, so he has to go, and he has to go coach some guys with mental dis.

1:05:17They say, disability is no, not disability is challenges. That's one of the funniest parts of the movie, because one kid who has soft bones, he goes, he said, everybody get in, you need, he said, can I win my knee pads? He's okay, don't worry about it. So in the big game, he goes, I think I'm gonna come out of the game, because I think I sprained my finger. He goes, you're gonna be okay, I'm telling you. He's your spirit. He looks like his toe. Oh, twisted around. It's like, it's, yeah, it's, you can you bring that up for the champion? That is a funny movie, but I, it's called The Champions, but I saw it on the plane, and it's about a lot of people with challenges.

1:06:02So I'm laughing out loud, and the people look over to see what's so funny, and they go, really, that's how old. Like, no, no, because they can't hear what I'm hearing. Right, right, right. Because it's one kid in the movie, and he always, he grabs a boy, shoots backwards, and then he does a Steph Curry. And they said, he said, he said, he said, only one in the league who does that. And they go, does he have a make? He said, no, I don't have a make it, but he's the only one in the league who does it. That's what I mean. And he does, he does his backwards, and goes, like that. And would he have said, he ever make it?

1:06:43No, I don't have a make it. But listen, he's the only one in the league who does it. Like, wow. Yeah, he's like, what the fuck? If you see the one with the finger, that finger is, they got that on the trail. That finger is it. Because they have to come out, man, my coach, yeah. I think that's a, see, you see that I had fixed it. This is the best podcast I've ever been on. You know, so rambling. Yeah, because everybody else is so, watch this. OK, it was his aunt, he gave us some money. Coach, this doesn't feel right. Oh, Jesus. You're gonna need your trainer. But I want to play the team needs me.

1:07:26Not like that, they don't. Wait, have.

1:07:31Good as new.

1:07:38Guys have done that in fights before. What, just, yeah, just to pop their finger back in place. Sometimes your joints get dislocated. Guys have blown pop their shoulders out, popped them back in between rounds. Well, you, you weren't a vagant. No, yeah, vagants that happened. Do you know for a skank fest? What happened? They have, it was like karaoke for fighters. You just put your name on this and get them to fight. And they had a ring. Yeah, and they had a ring. And so they played musical chairs. Then, then, then, then, then, then, then. And so boom, whoever doesn't get a chair, he sits over here in this corner.

1:08:16And then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then the next guy goes over there and then, boom, them two guys fight. And whoever beats that guy, whoever wins out of that two minute round, then they do it again. And so this guy who just won this one, have to fight the next guy who loses musical chairs. It was, it was dope. And then, he popped, he heard it go. And his shoulder went like that. And just went like that like that. And he says, hold up, hold up. And he goes, he goes, I'm okay. And the guy goes, nah, nah, man. And he goes, it's not a straight guy. Who he, he's like a, he's like you. He said, at the fights and stuff of that, and that's his thing.

1:08:59Jason Ellis? I guess. He's crazy. Jason's crazy. Because he, the dude's sotical. So Jason threw his shoulder out? No, the other guy was fighting. And then he goes, he puts it back up. And he goes, he goes, I'm okay. Because no, Mike, come on, no, Mike. Good, you've had enough. Get him on your hand. I just had to. Jesus Christ. He said, we got a doctor. Oh my God. Oh my God. It would, it kept doing that. Maybe it's a recurring injury. Maybe that's why it was so calm about it. Yeah, maybe. But he worked up with the crowd. Was cheering, man. We had to do it on Fear Factor once. It was a bull rider.

1:09:36And his shoulder was destroyed. Like he had so many, he had eight surgeries in one shoulder. And he said, like if anything happens, it just pops out. Like anything very, anything abrupt, it just pops out. It's going to like pop it back in. But I guess, I forgot about Fear Factor. So now you, could you not do this? I have run out of the room. Like you just might be on and set a cut in it off. And you're like, what the fuck? And it's like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, worm thing, the rough things. They even stuff. I'm like, what the fuck? You should have been there and smelled it.

1:10:15The smell made it all horrific. They should have had smell vision for Fear Factor. They should have been able to give you a dose of what that was. Because it was, it was so, some of that stuff was so nasty. And but I, you know, one of the ways they made it smell nasty was they would buy expensive French cheese. Oh, I make it nice. Yeah, there's some, apparently there was a place in Beverly Hills that had like this funky fucking cheese like, they, yeah, I guess some, some of those folks that are like real cheeseheads, they've like, they like wild shit. And this stuff's stonk. And people would, you know, just vomit opening up the fucking case to smell it.

1:10:56And they would add that cheese and people pay big money for that stuff. He, do you ever go to Jim Rhodes? I show no, yeah. This is a matter of fact, we went to Edinburgh the first time. As the first time I ever seen something like that, because the guy, he does something, but he swallows all of this stuff is, it's, I don't know if it's, it's vomit. It's, it's, and this beer is a whole bunch of nasty shit. And, and then we were in a big tent and somebody went, I need to open it. It's like everyone's just barfing just like that. Just, yeah, I had never seen that before. And I'm a little tense smell like that cheese you're talking about.

1:11:39Wow. Yeah. Edinburgh Festival is grun, is, is, is Skank Festival to the hundredth power. Really? Really? Is that wild? Is that what a month to, right? A month in the rain with kilts on no drawers. Just getting it. That's the first time I took ee by accident by accident. Yeah, because this guy, um, he goes, I said, he said, he said, how did you boys get a long last night? He's talking to me and Greer. I said, it was, it was good, man. I got a headache though today. He goes, would you find some pills? All right. You know, to that aspirin and he, he pulls out some pills on an African. He turned to just get a beer or something like that.

1:12:22And I went, well, you know, because they're so small, I'm like, I, these are like, obviously children's aspirin. I need all three. Boom. Oh, wow. Yeah, watch it down with Rebou. And then Greer was like, what are you? What's up? Like what? He said that, he said that was for all of us, maybe. You got a headache too. He said, yeah, but yeah. Oh my God. It was fun. I mean, I, not, not, okay. I did the next morning. I woke up and I put it. Yeah, color with it. Oh, no. Yeah, but other than that, the night is fine. No, I just shit it. But listen, like a shark. What you said? Like a shark? Like a shark.

1:13:07You know, a shark. Shark, you're cheap. Because we parted, we had a good, good time. We had a good, good time and I, and then, you know, you know, you're like, I'm gonna go, oh, man, I was crazy. And then, like, oh, that's the guy. You think that's for the pills? I think that's the thing. Yeah, I got more control in that. I'll just go around. I'll just go around. Shit. Oh, myself.

1:13:36I just, I didn't like the, the, that was the first time I ever did that. And people were always going, it's so good. So it's just too Disney world for me. Cause it made me like, you know, we have a scat of fight. Cause it's a little guy there. You can, I'm not going to say, midget dwarf. Look, it was a little happy. Boom. Put a big red, Afro, big orange, Afro. And I was like, look at him like, with the, oh, like, oh, like a leopard. Come on. From across the room, he goes, who the, you look at that blackie? And I was thinking, wow, blackie's here. Cause that's my man. I was just, I was just someone some other super happy shit, you know, right.

1:14:20And this guy's getting mad at you. He was, yeah, he was bad. But yeah, he, he, he do not know. But he was just mad. Oh, my God. On extra se get yelled at. Yeah. He says, who is, what's the little battle? And I go, oh, like, who do you look gonna block? Pirate talk. Everybody was so upset with him for calling me blackie. He already lost to fight himself. Cause everybody's like, no, you can't do that. Women of Christ shit. I got blind. He hurt me so bad.

1:15:02Oh my God. Man, if you live in an environment where it rains that much, if you live in an environment where it's tough to be happy, I bet. Put the grass just fucking green. It must be the grass isn't blowing the color over there. Right. It's just beautiful in the, in the, yeah. It's just not so good for people. Yeah. I did, it's one of the best comedy clubs ever. The stand is in Glasgow. And no lie, it's about this, it's about as big as this room. Real and the people just end there and you just say, nice. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's really good. I mean, the energy of it, that's all doing the festival, you know, up in Scotland, all the people, English people come up and, you just gotta, just, just have a show.

1:15:55You can have it. You can have a show like that. Just do, just go over two or three days just to say you did it. Just to say you did it because we, we always had a ball over there. Uh, what's his name? Remember my man, Master Lee. Master Lee. Remember him? No. You remember Master Lee? Do I? Yeah, remember he passed out that time. He's going to day out over there. And he go, he's going to break the board. You remember that? Was it guy on TV? You're talking about, no, he was at the Boston Comedy Club with us. Oh, I don't remember that guy. Master Lee, he did shows in the park with Charlie. Okay. And he used to break boards on his head.

1:16:33Yeah. But this one time, we got to get this one time. I got this only one time. Yeah, this one. Is funny. You know what? I come. That's him. Kind of remembering him now.

1:17:00Savages. I'm going to read my high coups anyway.

1:17:11For those of you who don't know, high coup is Japanese for really short poem.

1:17:22Now the beauty of high coup is that the original high coup poets could express their deepest emotions. Okay. We caught in seven cut ahead to this. Let me see the board break part. You said, are you ready to see me break the board? Yeah, that was the whole build up. This is the whole build up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now I know why they called kamikaze. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. Well, that's silly. That's such an easy thing to do. Well, break a board. Yeah, it's very easy. It's true. I got to hit baseball back. That's very different. Yeah. Those boards snap pretty easy. It looks impressive because you think of wood, but it's pine and they're thin.

1:18:19They break pretty easy. Well, I'm sure that I wouldn't get the hard one. They'll be good. I can't believe you don't remember him. I don't remember him. Maybe it's because of that breaking the board over there. Maybe I blocked it out. Because I used to have to do board breaking demonstrations when we would open up a new school, a new martial art school. They'd send us to a new place like they had affiliates. Well, were you doing martial arts then? Yeah. Yeah. When I was a teenager, you were high school when I met you, weren't you? No, no, no. When I met you, I was like 23, I think. Yeah. Yeah. You remember that bit?

1:18:56That's hilarious. Well, in one in a nine, what school is that? There's some school. There was a college. College, right? That's right. I saw Carrie Braser the other day. I was in Miami. Remember Carrie Braser? Yeah. She was one of the agents.

1:19:16Rick Dorpman, Carrie Liz, Reston Peece.

1:19:24Don't say that. I forgot. Oh, I'm a half a guy. Longs, it's OK if you say Reston Peece. Yeah, Reston Peece. Don't remember that. Boy, you know Jason. And she was a nice, Lynn. From a Lynn? She was a sweetest girl. Yeah. And, oh, Barry. That whole scene, man. What an interesting scene in comedy in the early 90s in New York. Yeah. It was so exciting. It was exciting. It was when MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour was pumping, deaf jam was pumping. All these different shows were happening. It was like there was an explosion of shows that a comic could get on. Commercials, remember Regimen Fred was Dr. Peppercomber.

1:20:06Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, it was his intro. Dude, I talked about Regimen Fred in all the time. Yeah, that's what I meant. He was the guy that, when I saw him, I was like, there's no way this guy's not the next Eddie Murphy. I was like, that guy was talented. He doesn't really do stand -up anymore, right? I don't know. He had a diamond mind and something like that. If you got a diamond mind, I think you need that. I'd still do stand -up. In the diamond mind. You don't want that. You don't want to consolidate your businesses. But you would still do stand -up if you had a diamond mind. If I had a, yeah.

1:20:46I still do stand -up for free. Yeah. I still do stand -up. But it's like Dave Chappelle was talking. He was like how we do it, how we get over, how we get through it. It makes us feel good. It makes us feel bad. All of that shit. And you can release all this stuff, because when I lost my son, everybody's like, hey, man, go sit on the couch and everything. And I actually took the advice. And I went down to the VA. And I was, because I was so hurt and broke up. But it's not like television. You don't get to sit on your own couch. It's like a group session, man. And it was two young guys and them, and both of them, like titanium legs and everything.

1:21:36They go, oh, man, I saw your television, man. Can we take a picture, man? And I was like, I got my thing. But even with my, I felt sorry for them, because these guys look like they're like 18, 20. I'm like, I'm hurt because of the son I lost. And because of what happened to them, they may not even get to have us. You know what I'm saying? So, something like this ain't. So what stand up brought me, and not talking about him, but just still getting down. Because that's because of him, I had the nerve to do it in the first place. I used to go to Comon Covent. I went to a Comon Covent, my first open mic.

1:22:22And this guy, Kermely, was juggling, and he dropped the bowling ball. Like on television, nobody ever drops it. And he dropped the boom, and the owner goes, get the fuck out of here, get your shit, get it? And he's spraying him from behind the back with Lysaw. The people are screaming. They think it's part of the show. I thought it was part of the show. Right? Scream, ah! And then like, and people like, and then, and then William Stevens, and goes up, and goes, next we got a new guy. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Tony Woods. Shit. I'm going up there, motherfucker. I'm not going up there.

1:22:57Because if it's like, it was like, that's how people were panting. Like, hard, he ripped, and run. Wow. I forgot the point I was making, but what was I talking about? A verb! I forgot. Yeah, but we were getting to something. But I am. What were we talking about, Jim? You were talking about a guy juggling on stage and dropping a ball, but I didn't know where you were going. Well, I am before that, I was telling you something. Don't worry about it. Your son encouraged you to stand up and help you get over the stuff. Yeah, okay. Yeah, he encouraged me, but he was born. And when he was born, I'm like, right, shit, I can do this.

1:23:35I can do anything. Stand up ain't nothing. I'm changing diapers, bitches. So, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, so that's what really, you know, because I'm like, I am someone's dad. Yeah. This is hard, shit. Stand up comedy cannot be as difficult as this. And it was not, but that's, and so when I lost him, like, I wanted to just stop everything. Plus, I still got two other sons. Can't just stop and say, hey, everybody, I'm sad. You gotta keep it moving. Right. And so I stand, yeah, that is our, you know, look at how fucking funny it's gonna be when you're gonna stay talking about anant toward your toes up.

1:24:17Somebody else can have PS2. I think the fun part's gonna come in how I kill them all. Yeah, that's the fun part. See, they're fucked. This is war. But just think of somebody who's not a stand up. Like, fuck, I gotta take a couple days off. Where the fuck are your heads told me up last week? Ah. That's it. I didn't take last night. You got 20 minutes. Right. I did get an IV in between shows. That helped. Oh. Yeah. Which was that IV dude? Well, you get different ones to different things, but I got a high dose of vitamin C and NAD combination. And they also put some kind of a dexamophore, some, I forget what it's called.

1:25:01But it's not like, it's not gonna make you poop, right? Hang on. No. No, no, no, no. Make you poop? No, cause I've been drinking this tea. It's called morongo or morangas from it's poop tea. It's poop tea? It's yeah. Yeah. Cause the thing clearly says, take one every day, you know, in the morning, for me, gave me energy all of this. And I just took a drink, like three cups of tea the other day. If you really want, sorry for the description, but if you really want shit to rock it out of your asshole, drink kale shakes. You have to, I've, I used to drink kale shakes every morning, and then I would have these shits where I was like, I gotta get to this toilet and time.

1:25:41And it's all coming out at once. It's not, this is not gonna be a long journey. It's just gonna be a, yeeah! Ah! It just loops your pipes up. Thank goodness for bike pants. Yeah. So, you know, I ride my bike around, bike and I just, you know, went to this place of all this health food shit. And he did think the fucking kale shake, I'm like, well, you know, why drink Gatorade when I can drink that? Right. Don't do that. Don't judge. It's because I was almost, my bike was in the car. I was driving. And, you know, I'm driving, I'm like, I ain't gonna make it. I don't wanna, I don't wanna sit in it, but I ain't gonna make it, son.

1:26:22I ain't gonna make it. So you're like sitting up, you're hunched up, I'm gonna drive it. I got on bike pants, but I got my shorts on over my bike pants. Oh boy. Yeah. And just when, you know, when you just go, it's shit. And it is no use of going, stoppin'. Right. Take this all the way to the crea. Yeah, take the L and go out and shit. But you're sitting up in the car like this. People looking at you. And hope you don't have to get in the elevator with anybody. Just the L is, yeah. And I was like, and my mom was like, it's the cleanse. Who do you think that means? All right. And I think about that.

1:27:01Well, it definitely makes you shit a lot. But a lot, or just, because it just, well, it's a lot of fiber, you know, and it's a lot of moisture, it's a lot of liquid, a lot of fiber, and just, it's all looped up. Good for you, right? The, I think there's a lot of nutrients in it. There's a question about whether or not you should have that much raw kale, because it's high in oxalates, and in certain individuals, they've had issues with oxalates that lead to things like kidney stones. That could also be genetic too, I think. But the oxalates, I think in high doses, they think like a lot of raw spinach and a lot of raw, it's like a balance.

1:27:39You know, some of it's good for you too much of it. It's probably not so good for you. Well, the reason I'm drinking this stuff now is because I went to the doctor like last month, and they said, my, but at your PSA, no, PSA, because both my grandfather's broke past from prostate cancer. So he's basically the doctor said, you don't, what they're doing, I gotta go back next week for some more results of more tests. And so far, the opposite is, I think it's like some Angelina Jolie stuff. Like he says, with these levels, if it's not dead now, it will be soon so, will it just, and I just, I never heard anybody have removing that.

1:28:28So removing your whole prostate, and I'm like, so I've been a little stressed out lately. Is there other ways that they can mitigate that? Yes, that's what I'm trying to, I'm trying to figure out. I read an article, what else can I do? I read an article about this guy who had very high rates, and they wanted him to do something, and he decided to try doing a cold plunge every morning, and then he went into like a ketogenic diet, and apparently he radically lowered his numbers. So, and it actually even elevated his testosterone. Tell your list, this is the problem. He radically lowered my, that well, I think that might be a way, but do you have a place near you that has a cold plunge?

1:29:11I don't know, but okay, do you have a yard? Yeah. Yeah, but like ice bucket. Yeah, I mean, you just, you basically need, yeah, you could do in a tub, for sure. But if you get one that's outside that stays cold all the time, that way you don't have to fill the tub up, and every morning you just get in it. You may like just to sit in it, and your body underwater for like three minutes. And it'll bring your PSAs there. It'll bring, well, with this guy, I mean, I don't know if this is just his case, but what this guy did was twofold. He did that every morning, and then he also went on a ketogenic diet, so he stopped eating sugar, he stopped eating anything that is, you know, he is, I think it's like, I don't know what the fat to protein ratio is, but there's a ratio where your body's just burning off fat, and that's what he went into.

1:30:02And apparently that's a good diet for people that have cancer too. So this guy lowered his rates now. Is that anecdotal? Yes. Here it is. How are lowered my PSA with ketosis and ice baths? The prostate protocol. Okay, so this guy has a moroscope. I have one of those at home. They're awesome. And we have a blue tube here. That's how the moroscope is called. Yeah, and we have one here called the blue cube. That's awesome too. It's actually even more brutal, because the water stays on like flowing really fast. So in email from moroscope, Power User asking about the protocol, I used to bring my prostate -specific antigen down from 7 .0 to 1 .8 nanograms from per milliliter.

1:30:44Says I purchased a moroscope about a year ago, blah, blah, blah. Okay, so this is the question. The guy's asking the question and say, he has this PSA's, no, no, no, no, down. Right, so then the answer, the guy explained what he did.

1:31:06Yeah, is that it? Hold on, go back up right there. Right there. The prostate protocol. The most sensational finding in my blood test results was not so much the improvement in my PSA, but the elevation of my testosterone to levels that were nearly unheard of for an overweight 56 year old man. I wrote about it in detail, what happened in my testosterone after using ice baths to treat my prostate? I've since updated that article to include more of the science behind how it works and describe what I did that worked for me. However, it's not possible, or it's possible that not every man is seeking to boost his testosterone.

1:31:45For example, my girlfriend who generally seems pleased with the results of my T levels has already mentioned that she'd rather I didn't do anything to push them higher. Interesting, but more importantly, some men have experienced concern that their doctors suggested higher testosterone levels may lead to increased prostate cancer risk. Okay, this is a long article. But his protocol was kept his ice bath at 34 degrees, plunged up to his neck for two to four minutes and average of six days a week. So that gets me 20 minutes of extreme cold exposure for a week, which is enough to activate my brown fat and maintain high glucose sensitivity.

1:32:24Then fasting for 24 hours once a week and then cycling in and out of keto and in addition to intermittent fasting, low carb, several days a week. So I could be sure he reaches ketosis, doesn't stay in ketosis for more than a few days. When I'm ready to come out, I'll indulge with fresh bread or a croissant or a favorite dessert or fruit in season. Okay, I enjoy good red wine, a dark beer, blah, blah, blah. All right, so then there's this disclaimer. I don't know if the ice bath prostate protocol will work for you. Maybe you'll adopt every practice that worked for me only to discover that it does not work for you.

1:33:00Everybody is different. Nevertheless, if you decide to try it, we share your results. Yeah, so try it, try that. Yeah, before they do surgery. Yeah, I'd good see you know, because he said it like he was taking out my wisdom to do. He said, yeah, yeah, we could just remove you. A mom on the fucker? Yeah, slow down. And if this works, I mean, if it worked for that guy, is his level similar to what your level is? Mine was five. And what was his? His seven. Oh, so yours is better than his already. Yeah, but his is gone. Yeah, his went away. Yeah, so he might be able to do it. You'd have to be real strict with your diet and you know, I saw him take candy and a syrupy stuff.

1:33:41Yeah. Well, all that stuff, the time you stop eating that stuff, your body has just to recover from when you're eating it. Like all the damage that you've done, but it's just not real food. And that's most of what people consume. When you start consuming real food. Are you vegetarian? No, no. Many either. I don't think that's the way to go either. I don't think that's the way to go for health. And I also don't think that's the way to go for conservation and animal management. It's like, we live, the reality of the world is, you have millions of cows and millions of chickens. The real problem in the world, when it comes to meat is factory farming.

1:34:19That's the real problem. There's a lot of regenerative farms that raise livestock the way people have for thousands and thousands of years. And that's great. And you can get food from them. Why do we have so much, so many chicken wings? So how chickens, bro? I know, but it's a good one. Nobody's eating that much chicken. Is it any question? That's all guys' wings now. Just for the wings. No, we'll think about the breasts. Like how many places sell breasts a lot? Everybody who wants a Caesar salad with chicken breast. I'd say honestly, it's wings, buffalo, wild wings, hot wings. Yep, oh, true. Wild wings.

1:34:53Yeah. Yeah. A lot of wings. A lot of wings. Yeah, a lot of independent wing places. Yeah. But fucking wings. I can't do it. Do you remember that place in the village? Do you remember that place in the village? Right down the street. Yeah. Bam, that was good chicken. Bro, they had that death sauce. Do you ever have the death sauce? Yeah. Whatever they called it, it was like the highest level. Yeah, I just tasted it. I know it. Eight to eight days. It was good though. It was delicious. It was delicious, but it was just insanely spicy. The place next door to the cellar. There it is. The place is still open?

1:35:27No. No, it's not permanently closed. What's the place next door to the cellar? The swamma place. I don't know. Do you know the cellar? The steps on here, the place right here. Yeah, I don't know the name of the place. No, right there. You need to piece a place. I don't know. Which, I didn't do the cellar very many times. You did Boston, though. I did Boston. I did a lot of shows at Danger Fields. Because Danger Fields felt like a road room. Yeah. It felt like it was on a road. Didn't even feel like a New York room. I worked there the first time by accident. By accident, I came up to New York for the summer to do my reserve duty.

1:36:08I'm trying to think, well, I think it's 80s. Yeah, it's 87. So you send a videotape and a viewer, you know, comedy. I sent it to this club called Who's On First? Send it to him. I go with some other guys from who's doing reserve duty with me. And I say, yo, man, you can be the A .S. We go up there together. And I walk in. It's busy. It's like a Friday or Saturday night. And I say, yeah, I'm Tony Wizzakay. We've been good. She said, OK, well, you know, sit over there. I'll get such and such, whoever. Then he comes out. Some other guy comes into the, he's Tony here. I'm like, yeah, I'm Tony. Come on, you're open, too.

1:36:48Boom. Go in. Or kill. Bang. Come on, stage. Yo, they need somebody in Danger Fields. He says, he says, what the guy, Tony, just came off stage. Bang. I said, Wizz Danger Fields. Did it kind of look at me like, what? It was across the street when the Danger Fields went on stage after Rosé and Rosé had like a bad feeling. Oh, wow. And everything. And I went up there, did another 10 minutes by a kill. And then some guy didn't tell me, I still have not seen this guy. He's a white guy. He's like, maybe he was like in his 30s or early 40s, then. And he was like, hey, what the fuck was going on here?

1:37:26He was a skydow in my spot. It's like, I'm not doing, they told me to, because I was innocent, but I wasn't that innocent, but I still did two spots. I'm not trying to do it. Yeah. I'm not trying to do it wasn't your spot. That's hilarious. I knew Danger Fields was definitely not my spot. But when the MC said, Tony, whoever, as I'm walking on stage, I'm like, I'm not going to correct that, my fucking. I don't care. I'm just going to be dead. I think I figured they just misunderstood my name on the videotape. I honestly thought that the guy had seen my videotape and go, oh, this guy's got a goal.

1:38:02He's got to come on stage. But no, they were calling it something other named Tony. I don't know who he was. That's hilarious. I haven't seen him anymore. And because that was, so when I came back to New York in 1991, I never saw that guy. So he's, I guess he's real kind of Tony. So I always check around. LAUGHTER It's funny, people, that you meet early in your career and just lose touch with them and then catch up with them again. It's a strange road to be on. Yes. Be a professional comedian for all these many, many years. You ever meet somebody like they really, they're really good, really funny.

1:38:41Like in the beginning, and then you just run across from when they go, hey, man, how you doing? You still doing your comedy. I said, I catch you on TV. I always tell my wife about you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he might be doing, he's like super successful. Well, you know, like I ran into a guy the other day, he's a past, they runs his own church. And that's the thing. He said, man, I'm proud of you, man. I'm glad you stuck with it, man. And like, because I remember being at that crossroad, just like he was like, what's your going to do, dog? What are you going to do? I'm like, what are you going to do?

1:39:15I really didn't make up my mind until I was in it. Birmingham, Alabama with my man, Reston P. Sagan, Vic Henley. We did the Birmingham comedy club. And that's when they called me and said, you've been activated. Now I've been messing around. I was doing comedy. I was in the reserves. But now they tell me, you've been activated. You go into the war. And I was like, damn. And I remember being said, man, I'm worried about him. He ain't going to be okay telling you, man. You remember Vic Henley? Yeah, I remember. It's my fact he's open up for, uh, who's his name tonight? It's a club. Come on, man.

1:39:49Blue collar. He brought white? Brom? He's to a round one. Yeah, no, yeah. I did a OP dancing with him once. I believe I'm out there. And man, he's going to be on the phone. He's always say, he's saying, and didn't that tell you you going to be okay? Yeah, maybe I didn't do a OP dancing with him. I did something with him. I can't remember. Maybe I was. But he was on an OP dancing, he quite a bit. Yeah. Good dude, man. Me, him and a guy named Chris Kelly. Chris Kelly was a little guy from, uh, yeah. Here we go. What? He was a little guy from what? He was from Burma, man. No, he was from, uh, Huntsville, Alabama, but we were all in a show.

1:40:36And a guy from the reserve unit, bass that he held the phone. Everybody I was about to go on stage and ladies and a town. He got an emergency found in the office. I'm like, it was a woman because I'm like, it wasn't my mom or my wife. I'm, you know, about the kids and then she says, it's my hand. I'm like, I'm off of a good old. I think there's one of my buddies going, hey, man, can you hook me up with a show? Can you hook me up with free tickets? When I did my thing, I was on stage, maybe like 20, 25 minutes came down, watched the whole big, handy show. And then we're going to leave. We're going to go get something to eat.

1:41:10And then she says, that man still holding for you in all of his town. I picked up the phone. I said, hello. He says petty officer. Who is I'm like, let me go get him. He says, go eat, who is man? I know that you fuck like that because as long as they didn't contact me, I haven't show up. But I had show up. And from there, I was supposed to go to old, old, old school. So if you didn't have that phone, you wouldn't have had to go anywhere. I mean, until they caught me. I didn't. I'm so lonely when they caught me. But I wasn't running. I just had not gotten the call yet. It wasn't like now. We could just sell.

1:41:49Yeah. You weren't that easy to put your fingers on back then. Right? And I'm interested. And I'm a role comic. I'm on the road. Right? You know, all you can do is call my house and say, well, let me know when he'll be back. Or you believe in a message. And if he'd have left a message, he'd know I was not going to answer. That's it. I was going to say, hey, my answer was saying broken motherfucker. So I was supposed to go to O 'Cala and then Fort Myers and then Key West. And instead, I went to bowling and for space. Jesus Christ. It was OK. But having something that sucks afterwards, you got a lot of shit to talk about.

1:42:31Yeah. So it was cool. We had a ball. Thank you for your service. That's what they say. I'm glad I got that out. It's must've been wild doing stand up and being in the service at the same time. It was cool. Well, I wasn't doing it. Yeah, I wasn't. Well, when I went back, I was a little bit of a celebrity at Camp LeJoum because I was on a show called Tell Me Something Good on BET. Like most people didn't have BET back then. So in fact, when the guy told me, he says, hey, I'm going to do a show on work for BET. I'm like, oh, I don't. He's just like another. He's like another Virgo with a business card.

1:43:15I'm like, whatever. Yeah, man, I produce this now. I produce that. I'm like, come on. I'm here. But he said I produce this. I said, what's that saying? He says black in a table television. I just said, I love that. I was like, I love this funny shit. And the next day, my wife called me at work. I was a bike messenger, too. My wife called me and my dispatcher said, yo, you got to give a landline and give the rest of your packages off to such a such. I'm like, for what? She's an emergency phone call guy calling me. I'm like, fuck. So call. And she said, you got to go home and down it and I and you should wear this and wear that and wear this.

1:43:48I'm like, for what? She's going to be on television and see, you know, I'm like, what are you talking about? And she says, yeah, the guy from BET called and I called him back and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, I met that motherfucker last night. And I said, he worked for some people called Blackhead's Amy Television. She says, yeah, that's the real thing, Tony, but for real. I was like, I was on some June team shit. I ain't no. I was like, for real, we got on that work. Mother fucker. You guys can go. So basically, it was kind of a for me because I was like, everybody knew about this network for me.

1:44:24Right. And that's the first and so, but anyway, so when I'm down there, I can't let you. People would know me saying, man, you're a fucker. And this is the misconception about television. Everybody's like, man, what you doing here, man? You rich? Because I was, we got $100 a day for that show. And so, but people watching on television, they figure, yeah, they just assume you're rich. You're seeing me rich. And it's my effect. We went to go see New Jack City. And the guy says, I got in a fight that night because I was already frustrated and rock was in there. He says, so do you know him? I'm like, yeah, I know him.

1:45:06Yeah, right. It makes me, me and rock and Tommy Davidson had done a comedy tour called the Slitzmark Lickable Comedy Tour. It was, we went to Chicago. We went to a lot of places, man. Me and Tommy Davidson. And then, you know, to me, I felt like I'm stuck here. I don't know how long this war going last. I don't know when, you know what I'm saying? And then you see guys you work with, you know, television and stuff like, in the movies and stuff. And this fucking asshole is going, you think you're bad because you know, like, oh fuck it's in there. We got in a fight at a, what's the place where you pull up and they roll escape, bring your food.

1:45:48I know we're talking about when those, yeah, roller diners or whatever they call them. Yeah, we got, what do they call those things? Just diners, right? It's, yeah, and Jacksonville, no, come on. We got a fight. We got a fight. That was bad. Because I couldn't take it. Oh, yeah, and, oh, yeah. Should I say this on the pocket? Yeah, because I went to the ATM to get some money, but my ex -wife had, took all the money because she had power of attorney. So I had money go see the movie while I saw my buddy in the movie. And then this motherfucker screaming at me, going, yeah, he said, well, do you know him?

1:46:23Do you know him? I'm like, I know Chris Rock. I don't know that other guy. Yeah, right. He was just, and then, and then we got to the place. Sonic, is that, I think it's my son. Get to the place. I got a bar of money from one of my other buddies and that motherfucker just gone. Next thing you know, he got banana milkshake all over him. It's okay. I wasn't really fighting him. I think I was fighting. The person who cleaned out my bank account. Yeah. He just caught young bad day. He just killed me. Ooh, it was a bad day. Because we were almost late for the movie man, because we stopped at three different ATMs.

1:47:00Because I'm like, well, maybe it's this one. Maybe it's something's wrong with this. Because I know I got some money. Oh. Don't worry about the woods, man. Fuck it. I'll just pay you away. So guys, pop going to. Yeah. It's all nice.

1:47:17Yeah. See, Comedy is very therapeutic. Well, it's definitely the only way other than time to take a negative and turn into a positive. Yeah. Comedy can do it pretty quickly. Yeah. It can change your perspective on things pretty quickly.

1:47:38Yeah. I feel better about the bathtub. Yeah. Because that's been hanging heavy on me, man. Just because that dude said, hey, we'll just remove it. Yeah. You should probably try this at the least. I figured this was just a god sin. Because I was saying, because I'm like, I watch you and I'm like, Joe seems to know a lot of shit. I'm pretty sure he might have an answer. Did my primary care doctor that didn't have? That's ridiculous. Boom. I just got lucky to read that article. That's all of this. But that I have been doing the cold plunge for months now. I guess like more than a year. You do, for barely regularly, every day for months.

1:48:26Is it for pain? No. I do it because it makes you feel really good. When I do it, then I get out of it. You get this rush of endorphins that last for hours and you feel amazing. You feel way better. Do you know what? Right next to my mother's primary care doctor on Wisconsin Avenue. It's not DC. It's really, but there's a place right next to it. I'm like, see? I'm going to tell you something about racialism. It can be so ignorant. Because I saw the people on the picture sitting in Tubbs of Ice. And I said, those school bills are crazy shit. And now I'm thinking, boom. Maybe that Virgo just sit in that ice too.

1:49:21Because no, I just had that thought of us leaving out of the doctor's office right here. And it's a place. And I'm like, who is going there? No, what is your time? I'm like, what is the cold plunge? Why? Like, right. But on the picture, everybody's like, I'll score a few. Well, there's like a couple of things are happening at the same time. One of them that's happening is your body is trying to protect itself by rushing all the blood to the center of your body. You're fucking freezing in that thing. Everything's like, t. And you have a hard time breathing because you can't relax. But once you learn how to just accept it, like that guy, you just breathe.

1:50:10And if you do it for about, for me, it's three minutes. I get out after three minutes and I feel fucking amazing. I feel like more relaxed, more in tune, more ready to go. I know, I talk about it so much as getting annoyed. I probably stop talking. It's in Bethesda. They have them all over the place. But this one is right and Bethesda is right. Do you know DC Bitty? Yeah. It's right in his neighborhood. You know DC Bitty and what's the other girl? When the... Is her neighborhood, too? Well, whoever. You should get in one. I'm going to get in one. Yeah. I'll be interested if you follow that. I'll send you that.

1:50:54But I know that one right there. And I just remember thinking, see, stupid. I was... Because, you know, I tell my kids that, like, how ignorant hate is. It's because you can't hate somebody. You got to love somebody to truly hate them. You just can't hate somebody. You got to know them. You can't just say, I fucking hate all steel pictures. You never met a steel picture. So, you can hate. I try to tell them that when they were kids, you can hate your wife because you know her. I'm saying that woman across street with the orange dress, you can't say, I fucking hate that lady with the orange dress.

1:51:39Right. She's gonna know her. But that right there. And so, so... Yeah. But, and I did a bit about... I was in Australia and I was in a tent. Another animal story, I'm sorry. I was in a tent. And these people rushed by me because of me. Stop playing, like, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, like that. And they were running, like, maybe 10 people, like a small group. They weren't together, but they were running, like, and I'm like, fuck, you're not gonna miss that much of the thing, right? And they go by me because it's a... The whole way is round because the tent is round.

1:52:16And as soon as I turn around, it's a tiger. Yeah, a real tiger. His face is like this big. He's right there. He has the saddest little look on his face. And then I always say, because this is what happened, like, four or five guys who sound like they've been eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with no jelly. They were like... They were Filipino, but I'm not being racialist. That's descriptive vibes. And they were popping him with some little thing and they pulled him. And they kind of pulled him away. But he was just wandering. And when he wandered, those people ran. They drugged him. I don't know what happened.

1:52:56Yeah, because he was very douse out. I went to a tiger park in Thailand. And it's weird because when they're young, there's a lot of supervisors in the room. And you know, there's like people that... The young ones are like fast and playful. And then when they get like a little bit older, someone always has to separate you from the cats. But then when it gets to the big ones, those big ones just lay there, dude. Like this. His head was not that big. Other huge. And people sit next to them and take selfies. So you have drugged up tigers in a cage. And people like sit next to them. And that's the thing that people do.

1:53:36So the point I was making about how silly racism, how stupid it is, because when they almost knocked me down, you know, I got... Not popcorn, but actual corn on the cob, that I pulled from the vendor, I was knocked me down. And I was angry because they ran behind me almost knocked me down. And I was... Well, on stage, I say, fucking Australians. But that's not what I say right then, under my breath. I just say that loud, but then I turn around. Boom. It's not that they were white or Australian. It's a goddamn tiger was coming. I don't know how that explains itself, but you know what I mean? Yeah.

1:54:15Yeah. Because at first, I was just saying, say something bad about them, because they almost knocked my soda down and my popcorn. But it could have been a group of black people, which I know would have gone... I knocked down because they would have been running faster.

1:54:33And then... They would have been screaming too. They would have quiet as... Group. Like, if there was a tiger behind you, you say, ah! You say something. Right. They just... I just... Fucking... Everybody looked nervous. But he's ran. And I think somebody could say, run dude, a tiger's coming. Nobody said shit. They just ran. They just ran. They just ran past me. Nobody... If I was running and you were coming this way, I would go, dude, here comes a tiger. Like that. I would... I would just go, better you than me motherfucker. That's gotta be one of the most terrifying ways to die. Yeah. There's probably nothing like it.

1:55:23Unless you were rat and it's an eagle. Right. That's probably just... But it would be about the same, wouldn't it? Cause his big ass hands would just go... Yeah, they would just tear your part. But I'm just thinking for us, it'd be one of the scariest. Yeah. Cause our brain is not gonna... You're gonna feel him... You're gonna hear him crunch your leg. Oh god. Yeah. And... He's gonna kill you first. And have you ever noticed, like, a lot of animals, like you were talking about how the monkeys ate the chimps, ate the monkeys? Yeah. Cause I think the butt is soft and... Like, that's like the guts.

1:56:02So they're not gonna bite your head. Right. They're gonna start... The head'll bite back. Yeah. They're gonna bite your butt out. It's horrible video. No genitalia. It's really screaming. That's my dick, man. Ah! Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Imagine if there were things as big as chimps that ate us. You had to be real careful when you go outside. Hip -a -pottomuses. Because nature does have this very strange balance. Like, I watch a lot of videos on praying mantises. I'm obsessed with praying mantises. It's such a fascinating insect. What did they do? They killed... They killed hummingbirds. They killed, like, small rodents.

1:56:46They kill all kinds of animals. Anything that comes near them. I pray is only that big. I know, dude. They kill hummingbirds. They hang around bird feeders. And they snatch hummingbirds out of the air. You never seen those? Never seen that. Dude, praying mantises are fascinating. I never heard they could do that. And so the video that I watched was these ants killing a praying mantis. The praying mantis was trying to kill the ants. But the ants, like, swarmed on top of them. And then systematically cut off his head. It was wide, making you work.

1:57:24Yeah, Jimmy's got to find praying mantis gets hummingbirds. But then, who was that? Woody Allen's movie? When Christopher Walken was the praying mantis? I don't remember that. So check this out. There's the praying mantis, right? Here comes the bird. That's Paul, does he? He's no. Watch this, though. It's wild.

1:57:50Seems to know not to get too close to it. Look at that. Bam, got you. He got him, didn't he? Isn't that insane? I mean, look at that. How the fuck could power that insect house? Yeah, I see that much stronger then. It's because he's, because he's an, it's the person who was, they didn't want it to keep happening, which is rude. Because that bird's dead. Now that you just fucked up to pray mantis. Oh, he didn't want one, what? He just hooked them. He's got hooks for hands. Oh, see? They have like the end of their hands. They just clap down on things. They're like these, look at these bar books.

1:58:30Whoa, I think I did it like this. Yeah. He snags them. And look how fucking strong they are. Arachnids, like spiders. There's, there's so much stronger than they would be if they were a person with our kind of anatomy. Our size, you know, skin and bones and all that stuff. That design of that exoskeleton design that a lot of these insects have, along with this insane leverage they have. He's got like daggers in it. Yeah, but he's also just stupid fucking strong. I saw him just do that too. I didn't know it ain't much. They're so much stronger than like a little mabel would be if it was that size.

1:59:17You know, like these things are insane. Like look at the fucking body structure. Just that video. He's going to eat the fuck out of this snake. Dude, they eat the fuck out of everything. It's, I mean, it's an amazing design. I mean, look at those, the hooks that he has for these arms. Yeah, I see all of that spikes. So I don't like this because they show, they're showing this to us. Why didn't they show us the kill shot? He's really, that's a really small snake there. That looks like they gave him that snake. They're gonna eat it. They did it for the, they did it for the gram. This one is too.

1:59:57It's like a set up fight. Oh, so the lizard ate. Oh, boy, they have set up fights. Oh, yeah, there's a website for this where you can watch all sorts of insects go out of it. So that lizard, mantis and a scorpion. Who wins that one? You know, like I don't like dog fights. I don't want to watch a dog fight, but I do. He's winning everything. I do not mind watching mantis and scorpions do battle with each other. Here we go. Boy, I don't know. Scorpion looks like he's gonna fuck him up. No, he already sick. He's getting, what's happening here? What is the bug's on him? He got, uh, a scorpion. What is he doing?

2:00:43He's just climbing on him? No, to see these other bugs. Yeah, there's other bugs that the mantis wants. So he's gonna steal these other bugs. So it's like, are they gonna fight over food? Like, what is the mantis? What is the scorpion eat? It's like, it's supposed to be a trap. It's gonna stun. Oh, he did. So he's gonna eat on him. That's how disrespectful that mantis is. Look how disrespectful he is. I'm gonna stand on you why eat. Yeah, and that's his whip right there. Crazy. Okay, now he's decided to eat the scorpion. Yeah, thank you. Oh my god. Fucking two. Bro, if he eats this fucking scorpion, think about how small that thing is in comparison to the scorpion.

2:01:27He can, no. He's got one hand. He's got one hook in. He's trying to eat the scorpion. He's using the wall for leverage. He's using the wall for leverage. Look at this. He's climbing the cage. He's back legs. Does he give up after a while? Can he not break the surface? Oh my god, he's still going.

2:01:50Obviously, it's poison. Who fucking wins? Oh no. Oh, it looks like the, what happened? Back it up a little. He fucked him up. Yeah, he fucked up. Oh, he fucked up. He got caught in the pinch. Oh, that's all they give you? Yeah, I don't show it. Interesting. If I was them to make you a paper, if you were a piece of fish, yeah, he fucked up. He got cocky. He didn't plan ahead. It couldn't break through the scorpion's tissue. Whatever the armor is. I have no idea. I was praying for minutes. They're so gangster. But get the ants kill praying mantis. I have a, they dissected it. They're like clinically dissected it.

2:02:29Like cut off the, the arms cut off the head. I've felt them before. Just, wow. So this, praying mantis is eating some ants. Just kind of shake them. Uh -oh. Yeah, they also swarm it, I'm though.

2:02:52So he's getting a few of them. You fucked that dude up. Yeah. But now they're on him. This is destruction. It is wild. Because this is, I mean, this is so, they're so tiny. Yeah. That we don't understand how wild this is. If we were watching this, and these were big, like the size of lions, you know, amazing this would be. If like lions fought a giant. Like that, that's what this would be. But even weirder. Because these insects, like with the way insects look. It's a big one. Yeah. There's the queen go to battle. But there's a few of those big ones though. It's like the queen came in and said, I hope you all get this.

2:03:39I don't know if the queen would risk it all for that. But these ants just chop the shit out of this dude. Look how many of them are coming out of the hole too. Just coming out ready to go to war.

2:03:54How do they communicate? I mean, that's what I want to know. How do they organize? How do they know? Like this is why I looked, they just cut his fucking head off. Sorry, bitch.

2:04:09I mean, what? How amazing is this? Just watching this is fucking insane. And it's crowded. If we went to another planet and we saw things like this but they were big, like German Shepherd size, we're observing that. People would be utterly fascinated. Look how many of them there are together in this little canal. Somehow they're communicating together. And they went armor. Yeah. We just accept it because they're little. Because it's really, really little. We're not amazed by it. Yeah. You know, we're only amazed by things that are, I wonder what's a little to do. A certain size. You know what I'm saying?

2:04:50I can, and it's this big. I wonder what does it go. Get out of here. Probably fungus. Yeah. Get out of here. Well, definitely fungus actually. Because you'll ever see what happens with the quarter -seps mushroom and ants. The quarter -seps mushroom can infect ants. And it makes them grow spores out of their body. So mushroom spores. And then the spores explode infecting the whole colony. Ooh. Yeah. So these ants know when an ants been infected and they know that it's going to explode. So they have to drag it out. So they're dragging it out. Because it's a time release bomb. And they're hoping they get outside their village before it blows up.

2:05:36Because if it doesn't, all the other people, like see it growing out of his head. That is the quarter -seps mushroom has infected this ant. And now it's using its body to grow. It's the premise behind that zombie show on HBO, the last of us. The premise is that this infects people. Because this fungus, you know, when it pops, it blows all these spores in the air. And when it blows all these spores in the air, then the warfare. Yeah, exactly. It's just trying to infect all the... I mean, imagine if you found a family member lying there with a giant spore growing out of its back, or a giant sack of spores, just whatever it is for a mushroom.

2:06:24And it's just ready to spray. Gotta get in my house. Yeah, fuck. We gon' miss you, don't. And you just got a greasy bandana. Talkin' about your head. Hoping they don't get you. And we're your dragon, that's body out of town. Well, just... I guess the way that it just... Like it's somebody swallowed a bomb. But it's with their fungus. Yeah, it's like somebody swallowed a bomb. Especially if it's in like a crowded area. Like if that happened and people burst... People got infected by corpses mushrooms in like a subway. Yeah. And burst out into the subway and coughed and sprayed. All those people would be infected.

2:07:06Question. With all the mantis, crazy videos you've seen. And that ant is being controlled by that quarter -substant mushroom, which is not a parasite. But many mantis are controlled by this horsehair parasite. Yeah, I've heard about this. So... What if that's creating that crazy behavior that you... Yes, maybe. This is what's crazy. When you put the mantis in water, that black snake comes out of its asshole. Yeah, it's crazy. So many of it. You know what? So that thing lives in its body. Look how big it is. It can't get in the water. It hates the water. It hates the water. Look how big it is. I mean, how wild is that?

2:07:46That's probably why he's so strong. He's like... It's possessed. What's the name? Venom. It is venom. It is venom. Oh my god, it's a real -life venom. And he's dead. And the prey of the mantis is going, I'm a die. You're not going to die. It's a real -life venom. Wow, that is crazy. That's nuts. Look at it. It's just like an evil snake that lives in its body. And look how... Yeah. It even looks sinister. It looks alien. Like just thinking that something like that would live in something that size? Yeah. And she's not letting them out, is he? I think it's out now. It's out of its body, but... But his mind is still attached to his butt.

2:08:30Yeah. Is it trying to climb back in? Yeah. But just... Oh my god, is it trying to climb back in? Is that what's really going on here? It's trying to climb back up his butt. And he's trying to eat it. He's like, fuck you. You've been inside of me. I'm going to put you inside the other way. So he doesn't even know if he did that, it would probably just make more of those. And it's got... Is that just regular water that you got something in? That's a good question. I think it's just water. I wonder, like, if you eat it, if that thing grows in your gut, or if... Oh man. That's what the... How the cycle is crazy.

2:09:01Yeah. Because it seems like he wants to eat it. Maybe he wants to be venom again. Maybe he wants to get out and become a bitch. Yeah. Is that even... Honeybird... Honeybird's your cool. I don't want to kill honeybirds. I'll just see dead bugs I find laying around. He was sick and disamant. He said in his bicycle, I killed a bird. I did this. He's a fuck. God, he was venom. Yeah. So, is that a large percentage of mantisids infected by the... I had heard that. This other article about it says that the parasite is what forces them to go into water. Oh, to get the fuck out of it. To get them on it.

2:09:42Oh, so the parasite forces them to go into water so it can hatch? I don't know. Well, that was the case with grasshoppers. Right? With grasshoppers, we talked about that before. There's this parasite that... So, some sort of a worm, a aquatic worm. And it grows inside the grasshopper's body and then convinces the grasshopper to commit suicide. So it can be born. So it just takes over the grasshopper's brain. Like, getting that water bitch. It just... And it comes out of the grasshopper's body. Yeah, so it's piloting the grasshopper. Can this thing be the grasshopper? Could it be the grasshopper?

2:10:25A praying man is, can he be the... Oh, yeah, yeah. A praying man is a fuck up a grasshopper. Oh, it's the day we're better. I think they... I bet a lot of the insects have parasites inside of them. I bet it's probably pretty common. It's an interesting relationship. Like, what's his name? The little guy with the... With the name Napoleon. He had a parasite? He's syphilis. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's VD. But a lot of people have toxoplasmosis. Yeah. Toxoplasmosis... I think it's called toxoplasmosis gondi. It's a parasite. It's from cats. So the way cats get it is they get it from rats. And when rats get it, rats...

2:11:12For whatever reason, when they get this parasite, their testes swell up, they get heart ons, and they get sexually aroused at the smell of cat urine. So it tricks their body into thinking that cat urine is like... Tricks... High jacks are sexual reward system. Yeah. To like seek out cat urine. So they're going after cat urine and it races their fear of cats. So what it's doing is encouraging them to get killed by cats. So the cats eat them. And the only way this toxoplasmosis reproduces is inside the guts of a cat. And then the cats shitted out, and that's why they tell pregnant women to never handle cat litter.

2:11:52Because you can handle cat litter and get toxoplasmosis. And it can be very bad for you and the baby. The Bullions retreating army fell by parasites. Boom. Interesting. This is... Wow. This podcast is like... The lion came. It's like the circle of life. Ever since his catastrophic retreat from Moscow, the terrible losses suffered by Napoleon soldiers have been blamed on hunger and the biting cold of the Russian winter. But according to new research by French scientist, the fabled Gran Arme reduced to 30 ,000 men by December of 1812 from a total of 600 ,000 to 700 ,000 just six months earlier was actually felt by parasites.

2:12:35Researchers led by a dieter route of the National Science Research Center in Marcel. How do you say that? Marcel? Marcel? Yeah. Have analyzed the DNA of 72 teeth extracted from 35 skeletons removed from a mass military grave near Vilinus, Vilinus. In present day Lithuania in 1995, they found minute traces of microbes associated with typhus and trench fever, deadly disease is transmitted by fleas and lice. In the dental matter of 10 neopolic soldiers, the newspaper, Lepigaro, Lepigato reported yesterday. They had to all get it because it's cold, they're fighting in the winter. So they got to be huddled up.

2:13:21So everybody, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. Typhus, interesting.

2:13:29So at one point there was 691 ,000 that got down to 30 ,000. It was all from parasites. Most of it, it's a cold and a hunger, it did most of it, but great tolls definitely from disease. Wow. And if you're cold and a hunger, you do fuddle up together. We're talking about 600 ,000 people dying from either being cold or fleas. It's like 6 months. Holy shit. It's like 3 ,000 a day. Lems will fall. Oh my god. It was nice. It was, they looked just like that ant. And then the sanitary conditions, do you have that many bodies? Where are you putting these bodies? They're going to all rot. Who's healthy enough to move these bodies around?

2:14:13And just imagine you build a house on that land. Oh, Jesus. You dig up the wolves. That's my absolute favorite story of World War I. World War I, they had to have a ceasefire between the Germans and the Russians because there were so many of them getting killed by wolves. Damn. So they said, let's stop killing each other and kill these fucking wolves. And so they killed the wolves and then went back to killing each other. Right on. As you should. But I was feeling the wolves are like these guys that are here fucking out. Well, what would happen is they were fighting trench warfare. So someone would get shot and they would be screaming.

2:14:53And maybe they'd be way the fuck over there. And it's nighttime. And these wolves get in those trenches and they smell blood. And they'll pull that motherfucker out of the trench. So people were screaming, screaming while they're getting eaten alive by wolves. So you're sitting there huddled with your rifle. And you can't jump up because the Germans will shoot you. Yeah. Or the Russians will shoot you. Like, it's one or two. It's the wolves that are there. And so they had to have conversations. They were sending scouts out and they would disappear. And then they'd go find a boot and then tore apart bloody clothing.

2:15:28And they realized that people were getting swarmed by wolves. There were so many wolves up there that the wolves had taken to hunting people. Because they'd eaten so many soldiers. Yeah. So it becomes a primary food source. Like human being, like dead human beings left on the battlefield in Ward World 1 where a primary food source to the wolves in that area. And imagine just like the lions again because it's easier. Much easier. Yeah. But easy and people are taking the kill by wolves before you decide to fucking a meeting with your fellow humans that you're just killing six months ago. We got to do something.

2:16:08Yeah. We're losing too many guys to wolves. This is crazy. We got to admit we hate each other but we hate wolves more. Yeah. That's so. Wolves used to be terrifying. That's what little red riding hood was all about. That was what the three little pigs were all about. Like they were fucking terrifying. And somewhere along the line people forgot to be scared of them when they killed them all off in the West. Yeah. So they're like, let's bring them back. We missed the wolves. Let's bring them back. Like are you fucking sure? The wolf was probably one of the first members of the LBGST and J. Because remember he could have he just went in there and put on that dress right.

2:16:51We had to dress on. She came in and she was right. Yeah. She said, hey, what you doing? Because she knew it was him but she's like, what big eyes you had. She's trying to back out. She's like, because she knows she can't run from. She got it back because she got to be slick with it. Yeah. She just caught him when ladies clothes on. Do you know there's a cartoon of that from like 1930 something. And instead of a wolf, it's a Jew. It's like a really stereotypical image of a Jewish person. And it's a weird cartoon man because they changed it later on and they changed it into a wolf. Make sure this is true.

2:17:39Because with AI today, you never know when you're getting fooled by something. It's changed into a wolf. With AI today, you never know. Like because they can make fake cartoons. Yeah. This is like the best people. Which is the one, it's a little red -red. Which is the one when the wolf is knocking at the door. That's the three pigs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it was three pigs. Three pigs because the first one. But knocking at the door dressed like a wolf. Yeah, it was a wolf to the refrigerator. A wolf wearing like women's clothes, right? A half and puff and blow your house down. So what it was was like, yes.

2:18:23Look at that. Who the heck told you to listen to this? Good you. Good you need to back it up a little. I want to hear what you saying. No, yeah. I'm people of brush man. I'm giving you a free sample. You're saying it's selling brushes? No, I got it. Wow.

2:18:53Wow.

2:18:57That's crazy. The wolf is dressed up as a brush man. Imagine me a dude who sells brushes back in those days. It's a hard way to make a living. What's the movie in a set? What's the name? Is it set the comedian, the actor? Seth Rogan? I guess. Is it him? Seth Byron. Which curly hair? Seth Rogan. Okay. Yeah, he gets high a lot. Yeah. Yeah. He did a movie. He did a movie where he's a guy and he's an immigrant. He comes from Europe and he works in a pickle factory killing rats. You ever see that? No, I didn't see that. He's called an American pickle. He wakes up after a coffee. Is it good? I didn't see it.

2:19:49It came out during the pandemic because one of those movies I came in. Oh, and this is his great -great -grandson or something. He plays himself playing. Oh, wow. Uncle. But he's killing rats and then one day the rats attack him and he falls into a pickle barrel. The place closes down and all this other stuff. He just go by. Basically, he lived because he was pickled. It's comedy. But he lived here and he comes back and then boom and they go the only living relative you guys is this guy. And he's like, because he knows how poor he was. He goes, you have more than one pair of socks. He says, yeah.

2:20:29And just because for him, he just wanted to have more than one pair of socks. He wanted to have salsa water. Hmm. Bubbly water. Yeah, that's that's son of class. Yeah, that was his great -great -great -great -yeah. And now he's just, he's got a fucking salsa machine in the kitchen. Hey, cause you're doing really well for yourself then. So you got to see it. It's just a sign of the time. It's like, a guy who was the alright guy back then. He's just pissing shit now. Cause the things he said and the views that the, the, the, the, the, the great -great -great -grandfather. He says, you can't say that now.

2:21:04Right. Just watch an old movie. Yeah. They used to beat women up in old movies all the time. Yeah, it was smack. Smack. Hmm. He said, yeah, they used to smack women all the time back then. What is that alone? Yeah.

2:21:22But I just saw a movie with Sammy Davis Jr. It's, it's an old movie with Sammy Davis Jr. I think he's making fun of Miles Davis. I don't know. But he's like, he's a really good trumpet player. But he's an asshole. And you know, he's playing this new kind of jazz or whatever. And um, Sicily Tyson is in it. She's his girlfriend. The girl who played Walona on, uh, good times. Hmm. The one who sings, and we lucky we got him. Yeah. She's in it and her, her and Sicily Tyson getting to a argument, whatever. And then Sammy Davis Jr. just comes up and boom! Punches are in the face. Yeah. We get Walona from good times.

2:22:05He punched her right in the damn face. Wow. I think it was, and he used all real jazz musicians. Did you ever watch good times? Yes. Remember the Janet of Brooklyn? I never knew he was the famous jazz musician. He was in it too. He was in the movie too. It's called. I don't know name of it, but it's Sammy Davis Jr. It's got a lot of, uh, Morgan Freeman is in it, but he don't have a speaking part. He's an extra. That's how old a movie is. And so Sammy Davis Jr. It's supposed to be making fun of Miles Davis. He's doing a Miles Davis. He is, he's like, he's like, he's a good trumpet player who, because all the jazz guys are in it except Miles Davis.

2:22:49Does he glass presented? All these are real jazz musicians. Could Sammy Davis Jr. really play? No. He couldn't play the trumpet. So is he faking it? Yeah. Look, Izzie Davis. That's Sicily Tyson.

2:23:07Is he definitely faking it? Can I hear that?

2:23:28Oh, it sure looks like he's playing it.

2:23:34Movie magic. I don't think they had movie magic back then. Yeah. I think he's playing it, man. I mean, he was a musician. I know. Look. Okay, look, that's well -known of from good times.

2:23:51And Frank Sinatra Jr. is in it, too.

2:24:04This is why I think that's really how. Yeah. Because if you ever listen to like a real solo, like someone who's really good, this is him really playing. This is drums.

2:24:20Look at him.

2:24:27Yeah, that's 100 % in him playing that trumpet. Oh, two different.

2:24:35Did you see what he's doing? There's no way a guy who plays drums this good would ever accept using a fake trumpet sound. That's not much of my other pain. I think he was doing it. No, he did it. I guarantee that guy could probably play everything. You don't think Sammy J. Davis Jr. could play everything? He was a serious musician. Jamie, I think you're hating. I'm just slightly. I think he can play it. Okay. Yeah, he plays trumpet and drums and saying, come on. But you know, it's like, you see when a guy is like a real musician. You see the way their hands move. They just move better. Did you see when he was a...

2:25:15His name was Roof of Somebody. He was running for president. He was four years old. He was in a movie where he was a... I've kind of... It's the same with Dave's Jr. And he's like four. And he's like... He's got a top hat on. And he's just... Oh, man. Why is it turning a classic movie sometimes? Who would you say is like the best trumpet player? Like, if there's one person, who would be like the elite of jazz trumpet players? Miles Davis, right? Yeah. So let's listen to... Let's listen to the Marcelo. Like, so we just listened to that. And we were trying to debate whether or not Sammy Davis Jr.

2:25:55really played it. Let's see like what the top... And he's playing the Cornette in that too. A Cornette? That was the... That was the bigger one. That's the Chimpanzee only one. He was playing. You know, have... Oh, okay. And then... I'm thinking about musical instruments. So... I was googling four things at once here, because just trying to find better evidence of him playing that while I was trying to find what you were asking for, too. But as I was thinking of why I was saying that, because I was thinking of this scene and Crossroads the whole time, where Ralph Macho was playing a Targets T -Vi, and it looks like he's playing a Targets in some of these scenes he is, but he's not...

2:26:37It's not making that music. It's not making that music. It's not gonna be a solo battle against him. Right. He just practiced enough to do that. But don't you think the technology was far different in the Sammy Davis Jr. times, with a... I don't know if he's... Yeah, maybe it was like... Yeah, I think splicing the sound in there and having it sync up perfectly, that's not an easy task back then. I mean, I guess it probably could be done by a wizard of special effects, or you could just play Sammy Davis Jr. playing the trumpet, which is what it looks like. I just don't know why everything has to be against Pierce.

2:27:10He's theory, Jamie. Well, I'd be more for like the movie... Movie aspect. I'll go back and find the clip again, but like... They're cutting so much... That's the way that would have been recorded. They could have recorded him playing once, and then went back and re -enacted him, you know, so they could have the camera moving all around them, to have that all recorded perfectly, and for it to sound as good as it did, it has to be edited in some way. Interesting. It is a movie. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, that's true. So there has to be some sound engineering too, right? Whatever they could do back then, in the black and white days.

2:27:43It's called a man called Adam, is what this movie was called. But let me... Can you just show me like Miles Davis playing the trumpet? I just want to... Oh, is that what this is? Oh, I was going... I was going to try to say I was Googling five things at once. Oh, sorry.

2:27:58I guess this... Oh, sorry. That's... That's um... It's a violin.

2:28:05It's way different playing those sounds. Fast jazz. Miles is sound. And then... And then... And someone has to talk. And let's go back to this. It's like the bowling board.

2:28:33Look, Claudia, I have been in... Go back to the other one again. Is there anything with Miles Davis playing where it's not people talking?

2:28:50Speaking of Miles, she was his wife. Mm -hmm. Sincerely Tyson was his wife. She's married to Miles. Music written by Miles. Here we go.

2:29:23That's John Colesford.

2:29:41Music playing.

2:29:49It's something people really love about jazz, the improvised aspect of it. You know? They can smoke cigarettes and play instruments. I didn't really enjoy it that much until just now. I was listening to that. I was like, oh, this might be the way to do it. Like, don't do it while you're doing other stuff. Just sit there and listen to it. I like things without lyrics as background music. When I write, I like to play classical music or maybe music in other languages, so I don't know what they're saying. And they're just... So it only gets in so far. I'm not thinking about their words. Lately, I've been listening to a lot of this healing, just chanting stuff like that.

2:30:38The waves. Yeah. Not water. But you see it on YouTube all the time. And it'll say, it heals you. You can sleep for two hours and wake up. Like you slept for eight hours. And it's just like... Oh, I think I know what you're talking about. Megahertz or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know obese. That's right. I know obese. Yeah. I got to start remembering the names of this shit. I don't know if that helps you where you don't need as much sleep. What is this supposed to do for you? What are the pros? They're in the puts in a relaxing state. It's a big talk about 432 hertz. It makes me...

2:31:18I'm gonna tell you. It feels like... It feels like I'm like... Like a egg. Like not a egg. Like a chicken egg. But those eggs you have on... Like a piece of furniture. You know, like something you put on the coffee table. Uh -huh. And it's on a pillow. And when I listen to that music, that's how I feel like I'm on it. I'm just like... I just... I just sink into the bed. But it's not the bed I'm sinking into. It's just... The sound I sink... I don't know how to... Like I... It's like... It's like I just kind of sink into the... The bed... It's just... I'm just there. But I'm not like laying on the bed.

2:32:04And I'm just... Yeah. I wake up and feel like... Yeah! Let's go. Really? Yeah. And it's not music, is it? It's more like... Just... It's my own. But it's good. And so how much time do you do it for? I sleep to it. You sleep to it. I sleep to it. You know, if I got to catch a flight at whatever time, at seven. And I know... But I got... And I know... I can't afford to sleep too long. But I know if I put that on for two hours, but when I do get... I will get up and I'll... And I get up and I'm good. I won't be like... Oh my God, I gotta go. I'm not like that. I'm like... Let's go get it. Because I slept like that.

2:32:47Post -lini. So, are you listening to some headphones when you go to sleep? I just played on my... I played on my eye pad or something like that. You know? Or either put my earbuds in, but I always... When I always fall out. Right. And even when they show the picture of the music, it's someone just... He's just floating. He's like... And you're sitting... You're just floating. And the ones you listen to look... How long does it go for? They got... They got some of them for 10 hours, 6 hours, 3 hours. 10 hours. You could just put up there two hours of... Sometimes it's on the Zen sleep music or healing music.

2:33:28It just... Yeah. It's good. That's interesting. I have an experiment with that. I'm gonna know. Now I'm gonna say it about it. I'm gonna try and see it. I'm gonna try and see it. And I'm getting the heart and the cold tub at the same time. Yeah. I'm interested in that now. Yeah. Can you pull that up? Because when you see it, you'll see what I'm trying to describe to you how you feel when you sleep. It makes sense because music has such an intense effect on people, intense effect on the way you feel. It gives you goosebumps, gets excited, gets your body moving, and it just makes sense that it's interacting with us in a way other than like the obvious we hear it.

2:34:09We don't just hear it, like it gives you emotions. It sort of changes the way you feel. Anyone in particular? I'll go up, because it's one where guys just like laying there. That's it. Okay. Is this here? Let's put the headphones on.

2:34:31Yeah, that's it. So you sleep to this? Yeah, I do. I want to lay down now. It's good. I tell you. This goes on for eight hours? Well, I have a, I have a, many hours and 16 hours. 11 hours. It's perfect. That's what I need. 11 hours of sleep. It's also good if you're a YouTube subscriber or whatever. Yeah. Put it in your phone. Shut the thing. It just restarts. It's like a loop I think. Yeah, this is a, this could be very psychedelic. It's good. You know, you could have some wild ass dreams steered by this music. I could drink, wake up. It's like, you know, how you like none of that. Yeah. Just if I have eaten, I don't feel full.

2:35:18If I have not eaten, I don't feel hungry. Yeah, it's just kind of, I'm just, I'm just, what you find, still pill. I'm just dead somewhere. I'm saying just like, yeah, locked in. Yeah, but it's, but it's not like I'm laying on a table. It's like, I'm just floating. You're good. Yeah, I'm going to try it. I'm going to try it. I've used noise machines before, but I kind of like to sleep in. I like to hear things. Oh, the dog gone love it too. Yeah. The dog love dog. My mom's dog is just sleeping like that. Quick update. This is the guy who played the trumpet for him. What's that? This is the trumpet player from the movie.

2:35:58Oh, that's the guy from the movie. Yeah. A trumpet playing was done by Nat Adderley. Oh, so it, uh, Wuxen actually, Sammy Davis's junior's trumpet. Yeah, it's overdubbed. Oh my god, Jamie's right. This motherfucker would call him a conspiracy theorist, but he was right. I mean, I have a degree. How did you know? Because that's, I went to school to make sound for movies and stuff. That's what you do. 99 % of all sound in a movie is redone. It's not recorded live. I just, naively thought that Sammy Davis Jr. wouldn't want another man to play trumpet for him. It's almost impossible for them to record that in that setting and it sounded that good.

2:36:35Yeah. Because they were in a space with production. There's 100 ,000 people. You know, there's people around who are shutting up. Think of the, at your shows, you know, no one can make a sound or kind of ruin something. If he's playing a one -time performance. The last is people walking in, people walking out, like, you know, in New York. Interesting. I heard Tommy talking about this. He said in his first taping, people were walking around in the background and stuff. And the people that, well, they were like, we can't use this thing. It's like, but that's the performance that was good. So you have to.

2:37:05You have to use that one and they did. Yeah. But he was like, you can't worry about that stuff. Wow. So, here you go. Yeah. People do weird stuff with, uh, with set sometimes.

2:37:23Like, like, when you, I'm not going to talk about this. I was thinking about. I was thinking about his ease and sorry set that, that, that, that one that he did with Spike Jones. But they showed the background. Like, it was just so distracting to me. Like, I didn't understand why they would do that. Like, you could see the people working in backstage. While he was on stage, it was like at an angle. Instead of like straight on at him. It was like at an angle where you could see like the sound guy and everybody. No, no, it was, um, it was, I think it was a Netflix special. But it was just, Spike Jones directed it.

2:37:59And it was like this weird, um, choice that they had decided to make. That, have it shot where it looks more, um, I guess more organic. Like, you just happen to be there watching. Yeah. No. Yeah, you can see, yeah, that's it. You can see the backstage area. So like, there would be people walk, see where his right hand is. There'd be people walking back there and shit. It was weird. Like to the door, the exit door and shit. It's very odd. But I guess it's like to give you this feeling that you're in. And yeah, that you're in the club instead of it's like in more informal, I guess. More relaxed.

2:38:42I don't know. But it's like, why is there people walking behind a z's? Why am I looking at people walking in the background? Why is that in my mind? Yeah, because it seems like it would be distracting. It's distracting. Have you been to the stand in New York? Yeah. And the room upstairs, they got the window open like, what the fuck is that man? Because I can't talk to y 'all with these people. They're doing stuff back there and they're not paying attention. They just, it's like you're in a fishbow. Right. Close that curtain. It's so, yeah. Not cool, man. It's weird. Yeah. But that's another one of those ones like, you know, a comedian didn't set that up.

2:39:25Yeah. Right. I did, I did, uh, uh, uh, uh, the club that me and Louis did in Rotterdam. It's called Club Hog. So if you ever go to Rotterdam, you gotta do that. As a matter of fact, the last time I was there, I did, I filmed, uh, put, I did footage to our footage. But the ceiling is low. It's like, yeah, the ceiling is low. There's no bad seats. And, you know, but, you know, it's, uh, they speak another language. But they understand you because they speak like three language. Dutch is French, English and German mixed together. Plus they watch American television. So they're English. The English comprehension is super good.

2:40:05Wow. Yeah. So if you ever pop over there, you gotta do that. It must be fun doing, uh, countries like that. It's pretty impressive that they have that good of a grasp of English and, like, universally. Like, we're, we're basically either speaking Spanish in this country or you speak English. Do we speak English in Spanish? They speak a gang of English people. They understand, they understand us better than they do English people. Because, yeah. I think Spanish is the next language. If I was gonna learn a second language, that seems like the most useful one. You know, and, uh, also, it's, uh, it's like, it's every, my progression.

2:40:45Russian. I don't want to throw in the towel just yet. Plus that one you have to learn, like, a whole different alphabet. You have to learn all the way they write their letters and everything. It's like, very strange. We all stop. It's so cool looking. We all stop popping out like that ant who had that fungus. That shit. Yeah. Dude, they all the Russians coming to gas, man. Right. Do you smell the trees burning? Yeah. Yeah. Do you get worried about this whole Ukraine war thing? It seems a little... Speaking of Amsterdam. We're in Amsterdam. It's a Russian comedian over there. He's doing a spot at the comedy cafe over in Amsterdam.

2:41:28We're like, hey, you guys. And it goes, that's just media. It's no war. That's what these Russian people say. It's no war. So the Russians don't believe the war's real? Maybe that was just that group. Because they just said, no, that's ridiculous. Well, here's the thing. Russia does not have an open society. Like, you can't just print anything you want in the news. Yeah. You can't just, you know, they don't have the kind of freedom to talk about stories that we have in America. They have control of their internet. And they also punish dissidents. They punish people. So if you're over there, you want to believe what they tell you, who knows what they tell?

2:42:11What are the people in Russia think is going on with Ukraine? We didn't get that deep into it. Of course, one of the other comedians says something to them about the war. And they go, that's not true. That's just what they put on television. They want you to believe that. But there's no war. Are there the Russian equivalents to people that tell you the Trump on the election? I guess probably. Trump won that election. He's my president. Yes. Maybe the Russian equivalent of that. But in America, at least he has shirts with the flag on them. I don't need a mask. I'm free. If you are like in Russia, how much access to the actual news do you have?

2:42:52I don't know. How much access to like the way the whole world, how dangerous is that for you? Like if you decide to use a firewall, you know, some sort of a VPN. These people were in the Amsterdam. This guy, whoever, he is, is a big comedian in Russia. And they were doing something there for all Russian audience. And they looked at us like we were, I wasn't doing the question thing. Like you're a naive. Like you guys believe that? That's not even real. That's just media hype or something. Damn. Like wow. Imagine being that confident. Yeah. They were. Like why would you be that confident? Yeah, they were.

2:43:36They were that confident to tell us. Yeah, you know, basically you don't know what you're talking about. Please don't believe that. Like that. And there was some comedians from England. And there was us, America. And we all said no, no, no, there's a war. No, it's not. We're going to do our comedy show here tonight. And we're going to laugh it up. Go do it the fuck you fucking Americans and English people do. And that's people do. Yeah, say wow. Wow. If you don't know, you don't know. It's not that he didn't know, right? Say he doesn't want to talk about it. That's what it sounds like. Yeah. But it wasn't just one person.

2:44:19He's like, you know, like, hey, what do you guys think about that? Oh, come on. I love what this already added. Yeah, maybe he's just talking about it. Maybe he's been talking about it for a year. Yeah, imagine being in Russian dude. Everywhere you go, they're asking you about Ukraine. Like, what the fuck do you want me to do? Yeah. What do you want me to do? I'm over here selling watches. Yeah. What do you want me to do?

2:44:45You know, it's just. It's just weird that a comedian is running the country. Wild. And you saw him play the piano with his dick? No, no. Didn't see that. No, I said it. Did he do it though? No. No. That's what was going on across the street. That's no, okay. But didn't Zalinsky do something like that? No, I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, I think you did it. Did you do that? Yeah, I think it was like part of his act. Oh, but I was talking about the guys from puppetry to penis. Right. They had this show. Me and Grueh were in this venue. And he was in that venue. So we all went on. Okay, I'm confused because I think I watched a video of Zalinsky doing this comedy routine where he's like in front of a piano.

2:45:32Yeah. Oh, playing piano with his penis. Yeah. So they don't see their penises. So who knows what's really going on. But they do take their pants down. Here it goes. Let me hear something. Let's do it.

2:45:52No. They're not really making that noise. Right. Oh, thank you. Oh, you, now you were skeptical before. I didn't even believe that one was kidding. You think that one's real? I'm very skeptical. Very skeptical that that was real. Yeah, no shit. You can't even see the piano. There's probably no. Tony Woods, I love you. Thank you for doing my club this weekend. Man, very good. I'm very excited to have you show the world. Let them know. Tell everybody your social media. I just like to follow you. What am I? I'm Tony Woods with a Z on Instagram. And then I got a website too, man. Tony Woods .com? I don't know.

2:46:34The, the time was. I think it's the time was. Yeah. The Tony Woods .com. Yeah, that's my thing. That's me. All right. Thank you, Tony. And I'm supposed to be doing a special the first week of August. Which Dave's supposed to produce it. It's up in New York. Beautiful. Yeah, I'm, I don't, wait. I don't know if I'm supposed to say that. Too late. Too late. Bye, Dave.