#2042 - Joe List

24:04I like going like this. I like hitting that. It feels like you're doing like an alt -comic. It's normal. Yeah. But isn't it a normal feeling to like hit the blinkers in turn right? Of course, it's satisfying. It's you do it. You do that thing before you turn. You don't press a button on your steering wheel. It feels... It feels every time, like, don't fuck this up. I've been this car for two years. And every time I press... Sometimes I'll press the left button when I meant to press the right button. Like, fuck. I would love if you did exactly this on stage. And the crowd's like, what? What the fuck was wrong with you?

24:37Just a total cricket. Like a really bad sign felt bit. Like a copy of a sign felt bit. Great. That last night, by the way, I went up to the balcony and watched it. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, you know that. Thank you. It was fun night. Yeah, it was awesome. It was so fun to run back and forth to the two rooms. And there's such different kinds of rooms. Oh, yeah. That little room is magic. And you've become... They're both great. Like a comedy... Like pilgrimage. I ran into like... I think I fucking celebrity out in Austin from those shows. I bumped into two guys from Calgary that came just to see the room.

25:09Then I sat next to another guy at a restaurant that was from Montreal who came just to see the room. And then I met another guy who was from England just fucking walking around. Yeah. I was fucking around with the crowd last night. There's people from Australia. They're people from all over the place. Yeah, it's a destination. Wow. Yeah. Comedy Pilgrimage is people... They just want to see the room. It's fun. I hope more people do things like this other places. Did you ever go on any like... Before you started, like, I got to go see... Or when you started, I got to go see fucking whoever. Do you go on a road trip to go see a comic?

25:45Like make a comedy... Yeah. You know, a fan trip. Yeah, a couple of times. I mean, in the early days I wanted to see a bunch of comics. But, Kenison, I want to see Kenison a couple of times. Yeah. Yeah, I was like... 80s... He... He 9, 80, 89. And the problem was it was like, Kenison had already sort of deteriorated. So it was kind of a bummer. It's like we were talking about it. You can't go that hard. And keep being productive, it feels like. Yeah. It was pretty evident that it was not the same kind of insight that you had from his earlier work. His earlier work wasn't just wild. It was wild.

26:26And like, that's a really good point. Yeah, yeah. It was wild and like, wow. This is like great writing. This is like interesting subject matter. And you got this wild dude. And then the stuff about marriage was so funny. It was so like, obviously the guy had been in fucking terrible agony and heartbreak. It was so obvious that people had broken his heart. Right. And then you bought into a hook line and sinker. But from that special. So he has his first thing which is louder than hell, which is a cassette. And it's really fucking good. It's hard to get. I got an album of it. Okay. I think you can get it some places.

27:08But I think, I don't know, there was some controversy with it. There's a lot of like very homophobic stuff in there. But then it goes from that to the HBO special. And I think that have you seen me lately, it's called. And the HBO special is fucking amazing. I mean, it's amazing. It's just so good. There's so many good bits of it. And then the one after that's not. It's just flat and just feels fake. It feels like he's a guy trying to imitate Sam Kenneson. Yeah, I feel like that. I mean, I would never name. But I feel like that happens sometimes with comics where they have great material in a very unique way of doing it.

27:48And then they kind of start to lose the material and just have that unique way. And the marriage of the two is what made it great. Well, I think it's hard to write when you're partyin' all the time. Absolutely. Go into events and you're the guy in the Bon Jovi video. And you're this and you're that. And you're, you know, I mean, his whole life, he was this like weirdo in this preacher. And then he gets in the comedy and becomes one of the greatest of all time. And then all the sudden he's a fucking superstar in the rock and roll days of like poison and guns and roses. And like, whoa, he needs the rock and roll comic.

28:27Right. You know? So he's like singing on stage now, like bringing the guitar on stage. Did you ever see some of that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that song, Wild Thing. Yeah, vaguely. I never was a huge Kenneson guy. I wasn't big into the screaming. I mean, I always find that comedy doesn't hold up great. Most comedy, which is what makes comedy great to me. Yeah. So I think by the time I started, I was like a kid and just like didn't quite understand it. And then later I was like, I don't know. Hmm. I mean, I respect Kenneson, obviously. It just wasn't one of my guys. For me, it was like catching it in the actual context of the time of 1980, whatever it was when he popped.

29:03Right. I want to say it was 86. Was it 86? Yeah. So that's like right around the time when I had heard about. He's like his party with all these rock stars. He made music videos. But it just, it became a different thing, man. You know, it was all the look and it was all like being seen at the right places with the right people. And oh, Sam's here, Sam's here. Right. And he's doing line. But before that, when he was coming up, it was developing material. Like it's coming up with like really good, unique bits that would make you this superstar. And then once it became a superstar, it was like poison for that.

29:49Right. I mean, that's what's so hard about getting so big is that people are like, yeah, the guy. And so it's so hard to balance, I imagine. I'm not in that position. But I mean, you're pulling it off. It's, I mean, you just can't, you can't buy into the bullshit. Right. That's, you can't be fucking partying with Bon Jovi and rock and roll every night. It's like, you're not going to get anything done. Yeah, you need a amount of humility. It also feels like that feels so removed from what makes stand up great as a guy standing there telling jokes. It's like, now you have a guitar and a gang and women and drums.

30:26And you're like, well, that's not really like. Like, look at Chappelle. He's doing it the right way. Like I just get on a plane and shows up in a studio in a city somewhere and starts doing guest spots. Just starts going up goes up at the end of shows practices, fucks around. Right. And then next, next night, a little flight to this place or that place. Yeah, goes places and fucks around writing, always working on new bits. Yeah, always turning over material. No, you got to do it. Now, do you still listen to sets? Do you record sets? Yeah, I record all of them. Yeah. Yeah. I own myself a few listens though.

30:56I've been slacking off, especially the bottom of the barrel listens. Those are the ones you really got to listen to. Yeah, that's a really fun show. Yeah. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Life Lock. Tax season is already stressful. You shouldn't have to worry about identity theft on top of everything else. And trust me, it's a big worry, especially since during tax season, your sensitive info does a lot of traveling to places you can't control. It goes through payroll, your accountant, your tax consultant, and countless other data centers on its way to the IRS. Any of them can expose you to identity theft because they all have the info on your W2, just the ticket for criminals to steal your identity.

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33:15It's bold and sophisticated yet incredibly smooth finishing long and deep. It's authentically American representing uncompromising quality for the rugged, the powerful, and the passionate. Tap the banner to learn more or visit buffalotracedustillery .com. That's buffalotracedustillery .com. Distilled, aged, and bottled by Buffalo Trace Distillery, 90 proof, Franklin County, Kentucky, Buffalo Trace, American, family -owned, independent, and perfectly untamed. It makes me uncomfortable, which is why it's fun to do. If the audience writes down shit and you just pull them out. You have a barrel and the audience writes down suggestions for topics, and then you just reach in the barrel, pull it out and start riffing.

34:09It's fun. It's fun. It was super fun. Yeah, that's not... I don't do a lot of that, so it was fun to get in that spot. That room fucking rules the smaller room. Yeah, that's a honest little room. They were fucked up last night, the early show. It's a super intimate room. Yeah, that was great. They felt like a 1am spot last night. The late show? No, it was the early one. They were fucked up on the early show? They were jacked up. Yeah, it was one of those ones where you say something and then they break into conversation a little bit. You are right. What are you guys? I don't know. I'm in the way, but they were fucking great.

34:49It was really fun getting stuff out of them. Because a room that's small, if people are kind of chatting or chuckling, you can deal with them more. When you're in a massive room and somebody is yelling or talking from the back, you can't really deal with it. If you're in a theater and that's happening, it's a real problem. Exactly. But in a comedy club, you can pause and go, what are we doing? Yeah, yeah. It's like a real dialogue with them and dumb. But you don't want to. That's the thing. It's like we've got to train people to just not talk out loud. Just like you don't do in the movie theater.

35:17Don't do it in a comedy club. And don't talk to the comedians either. Don't just talk at them. Well, do you think, I mean, what do you think about all these crowd work clips? Don't you think we're breeding this? I feel like it's a very bad situation. It's not a bad situation because it's just how they do it. Some people do it that way. But it makes the audience want more of that. I was talking to my niece. She just went to college and she has a roommate who's like 18 years old. She's like essentially a high school. And she knows she was like, what do you think a crowd work? And I'm like, it's so crazy that like teenage kids are like, oh, crowd work.

35:49Well, because those are the clips you can put online because it doesn't burn your material. Right. Because it's a unique moment. Right. But sometimes I feel like this comics going up there just trying to get those moments. They definitely are. And then the audience thinks like, oh, I'll be part of this. Well, there's comics that I'll trick you too. You go see their actual act. You know, the thing about crowd work is it's always funnier when you're there. Of course. But it's always funnier because everyone knows it's happening live. And you don't know what's going to happen in either this comedian.

36:21They know it's completely improvised. Well, that's why it works. Because obviously comedy's about getting everybody to be like, oh, yeah. And if they're seeing it live, it just happens. Yeah, good point. So, but DePaulo used to always say that, you know, work with Nick for years and he'd be like, oh, you're funny off the cuff. Yeah, that's called a fucking being funny. That's easy. Right? Some material you fuck. Yeah, if you can do both, that's great. Right. But some people only do one or the other. Right. Yeah. But there gets to be, yeah, there's there's tricks to it. You definitely don't want to encourage people to interrupt people who don't do crowd work though.

36:55And that's where it becomes a problem. When people are drunk and they think, I'm going to get on a video. Right. You know, that kind of shit does happen. Now, how do you feel about MCs in New York, which is the only city that does this, where the MC goes up and just asks everybody where they're from and does almost exclusively crowd work? They never did that in Boston when I was starting or they didn't do it here in Austin, really. Why do they do that in New York? I don't know. It's in New York. Like New York comics, they think that's what the MC does. I think part of it is to find out where everyone's from because there's so many tourists.

37:26But most MCs in New York just do a lot of crowd work. And I've heard people even be like, I don't like hosting because I'm not, I don't good do crowd work. And I'm like, well, you don't have to just fucking go. Does anybody not do crowd work? Does anybody just go up and say, hey, what's up everybody? How you doing? Let me tell you about my day. I don't think so. Really? When I hosted this years ago when Artie Fuqua got in the accident, they needed hosts at the seller. So I volunteered and I hosted for like six weeks. And I felt like I was the only one that just went straight into material, which I think is better because I find the audience, if they're, you know, when they're settling in and ordering and getting their drinks and whatever, figuring out who's sitting where, if you look up and the comic is talking to somebody, they're going, okay, it hasn't really started yet.

38:11He's talking to that lady. But if you look up and they're a mill of a bit, you're like, shh, fucking quiet. The show started. That's how I always felt. Yeah. The problem with someone talking to the audience is it does kind of encourage the audience to talk to some of the future comedians if they have a point that the person disagrees with or if they're getting to a point and you cut them off because you can say something, you know, sometimes like guys will mislead you with a bit and you're like, what is he saying? Oh, haha, haha. But some people jump in in the middle of it. Right. And fuck it up.

38:45Exactly. And they think they can because someone's been talking to them in the audience. Exactly. Yes. And they're like, oh, this is a dialogue. I got it. Perfect. Or it gives them an opportunity to be outraged. And now this is kind of encouraged to give feedback. It's encouraged to talk. Right. I also think that the audience needs to hear the rhythm of a few jokes. To me, it's like if you do crowd work for five minutes and then do ten minutes of jokes, but sometimes you have an MC where you're like, I am, if you're going first, you're like, I'm now the first one telling a joke, which is no good.

39:19I think the audience needs to hear like, oh, okay, some bits. Yeah. I think that definitely would set everybody else up for the rest of the night. And that's really what the MC should be doing. But some, I remember, tell would get annoyed because a tell always wants to know where everyone's from. So he would ask me like, where are they from? And I was like, I don't know. And you could see that he was like, what? And there's nothing worse than a set of tell. It's so New York. It's so New York. It's so weird. I know. The New York has this one thing where everybody goes and asks the fucking audience member, where the fuck?

39:49It's very strange. Are they like, what are you doing? I've never seen a comic one time. It made me laugh. So hard. The audience member maybe laughed so hard because the person was like, what are you doing? And they're like, I'm at a show. What do you mean? What are you doing? They're like, I'm on a date. I don't get it. I just never, to me, it's like, we're supposed to be doing a show. I don't get why I don't care what the audience is from what they're doing. I always felt like that style came out of the fact that the comedy clubs in New York, when I was coming up, they were all very intimate.

40:18They were very small. Like Boston comedy was very small. Catcherizing star was small. The cellar small. And because you're like right on top of people and they're packed in and there's not that many of them, I felt like it's more intimate. The stage is smaller. And I think it's sort of led comedians to want to kind of like personalize everything. Yeah, yeah. Which I feel in that small room at your club. What's it called? Little boy. Little boy. Yeah. It's like, I do instinctively start being like, you ever had this? Because it does feel like you're at a hang. Yeah, you're hanging. Right. Which is really nice.

40:55Like if you're doing material because it's just like you're real intimate in that room. That mood, you're on top of those people. Yeah, I feel like you could shoot a special in there. Or maybe someone already, yeah, I think somebody shot one in the big room. David Lucas just shot a special in that little room. Yeah. That's a fucking killer. And Brian, did he shoot something in the big room? He shot something in the big room. Brian Simpson blew me away last night. Oh, he's hilarious. By the way, I always knew he was funny, but I like, it's so rare you get to sit and watch comedy. And I sat in the balcony watching.

41:22I was like, this guy is like next level. It's about getting these the shit, isn't it? It's unbelievable. It's awesome. When we were only first, we're walking around the building when it was its bare bones. And we're standing up there in the balcony. One of the first things we're thinking, like, you know, badass is going to be to be just sitting up here chilling. And like watching Chipel go on stage. And so when it actually happened, when we were there, the week had opened and Dave came by. And we're watching him. I'm standing on the balcony. I'm like, dude, I looked at Tony Hitchcluff and I go, this is like exactly what we imagined.

41:55It was the exact thing that we imagined. That's the unbelievable feeling. I don't want to sound gay, but we're very lucky people that we've lived a life where you're like, I imagine this and then did it. Yeah, it happened. It's really super, super lucky. But also like, that's a good thing. Like when I was thinking about doing it, I didn't want to do it. I'm like, this is too much work. I don't want to be involved in this. I always told comedians, be really nice to club owners because we need them and you don't want to be them. We need them. We need someone to own the clubs. We need the place to go.

42:27Who would want to deal with some of the maniacs that we knew? This is it. Oh, wow. That's the little boy. No, that's the big room. That's the balcony. Yeah, that's the balcony. Wow, that's killer. Yeah. So that's before the concrete of import. Those guys are standing on foam. So there's a foundation under that. And then they put these massive blocks of dense foam. And then on top of the foam, then they lay more of that rebar and then poor concrete. It's crazy what they did because it was basically set up like a movie theater, like teared, and you know, like stadium tile, type of seating. And we lifted the floor up and it made it flat.

43:09So how did it work? Did you like, I feel like I'm interviewing you now, but I mean, how did you just explain the vision to a... I mean, an amazing architect. Richard's an amazing architect. One of the things about Richard is he's also a musician. He's an artist. He's like, he has an eye for things. He sees things. And he totally got the concept of it. And so when we... We looked at another building. I told you about the place it was owned by a cult. So we had that place and then that one fell apart. And then when that fell apart, it was really hard to find another spot. And this place wasn't for sale.

43:47It was all the only one that at least said, and I was like, I'm not going to do that. I need to be able to own it. It doesn't make any sense. And so fortunately, they changed their mind. And they sold it to me. And one of the things they liked was that, you know, six street of life. They're making a lot of like apartment buildings and high rises. And they loved that, in fact, I was just going to keep it alive, entertainment venue. Yeah. And because it's an old... In 1927 theater, you know, Stevie Ray Vaughn played there in the 80s. Yeah, I saw in the posters. Killer fucking bands. Now, did you...

44:21Were you drawing sketches? Or were you just saying this is what I like to tell you about? I didn't draw any of it. Richard did everything, but Richard wise. We went over it. We had a structure, right, because there was a... Alamo Draft House had been there before. And we also had... We had a big advantage in that Richard had redesigned the Alamo Draft House. So he was the one who was in charge of that project. So he knew the whole bones of the building. Because they converted it from like... I think it was a rock and roll club, previous to that. And then they turned it into the Alamo Draft House.

44:52And so they had to build a kitchen. They had to build these rooms. They had to, you know, set it up from the movies and do everything. So he knew exactly where everything was. And so we had two rooms in one building, which I really like. Because I wanted a smaller, more intimate room and a bigger room. And so when we saw it, we just had to address like, okay, how do we do this? And we had a bunch of different ways of looking at it. We always agreed that the projection room would be the green room. Like that makes the most sense. It's in the center of the two rooms. And it gives you the option of just literally walking there and seeing one room.

45:26Or going this way to the balcony and seeing the other room. Yeah. So that was like... That was a no -brainer. And then we blew the walls out, so it connects to the balcony. And we set everything up and moved all the equipment out. We had old projectors in there and shit. And then we built everything out. And then in the process of building everything out, I had Louis come and look at it. And Louis had some amazing advice. He gave me some great advice about shrinking the size of the stage in the little room, lowering the ceiling even further. And the little room was like a low ceiling. He's like, can you get it lower?

45:58Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I think we can get it lower. Like, maybe like a foot or two lower? So we did that. And then in the main room, the same thing. He said, lower the ceiling. And so the ceiling drops. So you have the balcony. You can see how the ceiling drops when you look out the balcony. So you just see like the top of the stage. I was like, it would be a great idea. I mean, it would cost billions of dollars to have a comedy club that you could move the walls in, depending on the crowd size. You know how there's like a curtain? But you wish you could just fucking physically move the wall to tighten it up.

46:28Because obviously comedy just works tighter. Yeah. I mean, that's not, it's an impossibility. This is my fantasy. I mean, it was not an impossibility. I always an impossibility. You just have to have walls that were on tracks. And you'd have the tracks built into some sort of, some sort of an engine, moved them back and forth. But it probably would be stupid. It would take up way too much room. You know, how are the power to be diesel generated or the electric? No, manpower. Everyone gets behind the audience. Oh, Jesus. It pushes the wall in. Yeah, we'd have to be that. Because if it was some sort of a computer, it would malfunction and kill everyone.

47:03It would just compress the entire audience. Like fucking Star Wars. Yeah, exactly. Like Star Wars. Imagine if you have a sold out show and someone hits the hundred seat button. People would just stacked up on top of each other in the middle of the fucking room. That's a great episode for like one of those, what do you call it? What's that fucking show? Black Mirror. Black Mirror. Or obviously going to Twilight Zone. But yeah, same, same, same shit. Same thing. Same thing. That's what I was wondering though. If you could just explain to the architect what it looks like. Because this blew my mind a while ago.

47:36I was watching like some springsteen behind the album thing. I don't know if it was the river or darkness or whatever. But I never knew there's a scene where Bruce is talking to Clarence Clemens. And it's just like, it should sound like this. And he's just like, milding the sound of the saxophone. Which in my mind, it's like Bruce is writing musical notes or something. You don't picture a guy just being like, it should sound like this. And then the guy does it. It kind of was like, wow. You know it blew me away, but there's a lot of musicians don't read music. No, I think like most, and it's funny, I took mandolin, not most, but many rock musicians.

48:14I took mandolin lessons years ago. And it was fun. And I thought I wouldn't be able to read music because I'd always hear like, Eddie Vetter can't read music in Bruce Spring. And it turns out it's not that hard. They just didn't feel like learning it. Like in my mind, I was like, these geniuses can't do it. And then the lady was like, no, they just didn't want to learn how to read music. It looks like a weird alien language. When you see all the musical notes and everything. Like to me, they register as nothing. Of course. I've seen people with musical notes tattooed. You know, like they have a strip of like music line and like the musical notes around.

48:48I don't know what it is. It could be Nazi stuff. Of course. I don't know what it is. It's crazy. And I've seen, I have friends that are like world class musicians. And it's crazy to watch them just read a thing and play it. It's like a magic trick. I hate to do this, but I just got an IV before this. I have to piss already. Oh, piss. What do I do? You could be two or just hang out here. I'll be right back. No, I just feel like I'll be all fucking jacked up. Jacked. Fucking up. You drank caffeine though, right? Yeah, I drink a green tea guy. Are you a coffee guy ever or just a green tea guy? No, I've never been a coffee guy.

49:22I had one cup of coffee in my life and it was in Peru. I was on vacation in Peru and we're in this coffee field and this guy was like people fly from all over the world to have this coffee. And I was like, well, I gotta have it. I'm in Peru. And I was like, this is the worst thing I've ever done in my life. I'm just not a coffee guy. But as I get older, it smells very good. So maybe I would like it. But I like green tea and you know. Green tea is nice. Very nice. Coffee is one of those weird things that people call an acquired taste. And I don't know why anybody would ever want to acquire a taste.

49:54But if I beer was like that, then you first had beer where you like, nice. I was like, this is fucking shit. No. I'm sure I didn't. I was a kid. I was probably like this. Fucking gross. That's how I felt like spit it out. You're only drinking it to get fucked up. Yeah. But then you didn't you acquire a taste for it? Like an IPA, you're like, oh, this is delightful. I don't like IPAs as much. I like a cold ale. Like a cold ale on a hot day. You know, like fish and chips. Of course. Well, beer has to be beer and soda to me because I just need them ice cold. Well beer, I would drink. Of course. Nobody drinks soda tea.

50:32Right? At tea temperatures. Right. But I mean, you can get a warm soda and you're like furious. I mean. I wonder what it would taste like if you microwaved your soda. I'll give you a coke, coke. Let's do it. Nuke did up to put it in a tea pot. Does it? Boy, I'm sure a boy, it's liquid. If you just poured it in a tea pot, it's mostly water. And heated it to. To the thing was going off. And then you poured it in your cups and just drank hot coke. I don't know. I mean, it's not. I've sewed it with lose its fizz. Right. Of course it would. But imagine if we just invented something awesome and nobody thought to do it ever until just now.

51:10We might have done it. Has anybody done that before? It must be YouTube videos. So I'm reading right now. A hot doctor pepper is a drink that straddles the line between the two when heat is applied to a cool can of soda. It transforms into a light refreshing soft drink into a thick sweet tea. Mm. A hot soda might sound. It's really not that different from a glass of hot cider. I think I did a bit. I don't remember the bit where I said I like to boil my soda. And I can't remember why I said it. But I had a bit like that. Fuck. I don't remember why I said that. That's a weird thing to say. Yeah, I don't remember the thing.

51:49We just being outrageous about other things. Like, was it a contrary thing? No, I forget. Maybe it was about, like I like cold steak and boiled soda. I can't even remember. God damn. Do you ever have those? You're like, I know I've said this sentence before and I don't know why. It's the worst. Yeah, I can't remember. I like to boil my soda. It was something about, I don't fucking know. I can't remember. It'll come back to you. That's one of those memories that you have to stop pushing the memory guy to find it. He's like, I can't find you. I can't find you. I'm gonna leave you alone. I'm gonna go and move on if you find it.

52:30It's like, oh, just metaphor for life. Yeah, you gotta let go or it doesn't work. Sometimes that spin, you're not getting any traction. It's like when you get stuck in snow and you're like, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, you're gonna blow out your transmission, settle down. Right. Let's figure this out. It was an Alan Watts. I found it. You're talking about a... You found that? Yeah. Sometimes I boil a Pepsi right before bed. Yeah. I can't remember. I still don't remember. I don't know. I can't believe you found that. That's crazy. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, I don't... It is weird how it gets... Warm or cold.

53:11Sit. But coffee, you can be both. It can be both. Same with water. You can have an ice water. You can have a... I mean, hot water, I guess. Nobody drinks hot water and this has got flavor in it. I drank hot water last night at the club. By the way, I had a big moment at the club. I have a contribution to the club. You do. Because you have a tea kettle and there was no tea bags. And then I was sarcastically shitting on the club to Curtis. And then he ratted me out, too. But I just drank a hot water. Because it is calming, even if there's nothing in it. To drink warm water. And then somehow... It's a mystery.

53:42He left for like 10 minutes and came back with high end tea. How does it feel? It's supposed to be like a store nearby or something. I guess at 10 .30 at night on six streets. I don't know. Six streets pretty wild. It was a magic trick. It was an unusual place, man. Have you been there on the weekends? Oh, yeah. I closed the street down and everybody just walks. Yeah, back and forth. It's the worst place on earth to me. I mean, the club is great. But I'm not joking. We were talking about before. I jog back to the hotel. It's like a block and a half. It's sketchy. Yeah. But that's part of what I like about it.

54:16It's, uh, yeah. It also gives us an opportunity to hire a lot of cops. I love it. Yeah, I love it. I love cops that work there. I love it. You walk 30 feet away and you can see them like, good luck. Take it. One guy was like, there's a lot of crackheads around. I'm like, I know what the crackhead is. Why did you just get a car? Because I'm staying like 150 yards away. You can't get a lift. You need it. You need a lift. I mean, I made it. I made it home. Well, tonight we'll drive. Or we'd not come in. No, I'm off to Vegas. Next time I'll drive you. All right, I appreciate that. We'll take you on the way.

54:44Well, last time I was here, you drove me because I got accosted by the two. Not when it was the last time. It was like three years ago. Oh, that's right. Yeah, it was right. Guys were fucking with you. Yeah, it was bad. But I also homeless folks. They were homeless guys, you know. And I also just, somebody sent me a article that said like the Austin police were like, hey, if you get robbed on 6th Street, don't call 911. We can't. It's too much. Call 311. Literally, they're like, call 311 reported. Like a guy just writes it down in the ball. It's, I don't know. Well, the National Guard down here.

55:17They refunded the police out here, though. They defunded the police for a little bit and then they up the budget recently. Oh, good. They changed it back to like this is not working. And all the wealthy people that live around here were freaking out of gas. Yeah, I mean, I told the story on stage the other night. But I was here for Moon Tower and you know, it's just, it's what I'm joking a little bit. It's not you can come and walk around 6th Street, but it's wild. And I said to some woman, she was like a volunteer. I was like, it's fucking crazy out there. And she went, oh, where are you from?

55:45And I was like, New York City. I'm not like some fucking hasty. I live in New York. Like this is unusual out here. There's like people with machetes and entire irons walking around. That one street. Yeah. Like Brasos and 6th Street. Yeah, but the crazy thing is that that's the area that we got. But when we were there, it just felt like it was supposed to be there. Like I was trying to convince myself of the Colt House. When the Colt House when I was walking around, I was like, yeah, we could do this and we could do that. And we could have a separate parking lot for the comics. That's cool. We got a lot of, because we had like eight acres.

56:25Look at this view. We'll have about the pack. We could hang out here in party. Look at this green room. We'll blow out these walls. Turn it as a men's green room. I had all these great, great plans. It would have worked. It definitely would have worked. Of course. But that place had a lot of, there's a lot of issues to be resolved. It's including stuff that was like, it could be a real problem for me. And so I was like, all right, this isn't going to work. Let me find another spot. And then it was like, I looked at four or five different locations. And they were pretty good. And I was trying to talk myself into them.

56:58And then I got to that place. I was like, oh shit. I was like, this is it. This is it. I'm like, we got to make this happen. No, it's where it should be. And it's magical. And it's now like a cornerstone of the neighborhood. It feels like. It just felt like it was supposed to happen. Like, while you're in there. And even like, people ask me if it was stressful. It wasn't really stressful. Everybody that was working on the project other than me, it was amazing. And so they all did a great job. So I didn't stress about that. And I just like, it's out of my hands. Let's just do everything that you're supposed to do.

57:34Like whatever, it would be best if we did this. Do that. Right. You know, whatever it is. Do that then. This is going to take more time. It's going to cost more money. But let's do it. Like, let's do that. We need a UFO in the front lobby. A fucking actual point. All right, right. And I wanted to be a projection that shoots a projection on the screen of who's coming next. So we have like these posters of what comedians are coming up. And you did it. Yeah, it's just, it took a long time. But I really feel like it would, it wanted to be made. Right. I feel like it literally wanted me to create it.

58:11You want to hear my suggestion for the club? Yes. You really? Yeah, sure. But right behind the big stage, there's some space back there where you're waiting. Yeah. A toilet. So you can take a shit right before you go on. Because the only toilet is right outside. I was in there. I had to shit. I was like holding it. There's a line. Tony Hinchcliffe's knocking on the door. That's a big ask. Because you got to get plumbing back down there. Just a suggestion. Not an ask. Because I don't think there's enough room either. That's a small space. Because you're going to, I don't, maybe I'm wrong. Because like Monday night, there was 25 people in the green room in one toilet.

58:44I was like, this is, this is no good. That, but that's Monday night. Right. Monday night is like, they have way too many people up in there. It was just too goofy. But on a normal night, that's not the case. But yeah, that's not, but then there's a downstairs toilet, too. Okay. You know, there's the public toilets. Come on, Joe. I'm not going to a public toilet. They're all clean. They're all good. Do you know who I am? I do know you are. You're Joe Liss from your heart. I'm the non -GJL Rogan experience. I know you're a city. I don't shit. I don't shit. I don't shit. It's a Joe Liss movie. Um.

59:15Just kidding. He's going to hear that. He's going mad. I'm only joking. I think, uh, maybe that is a good idea. Somewhere. I heard Rubles. You should think where it could be. There was also, there was a young lady that was nervous to shit with, you know, you waiting. Because everyone's worst nightmare is they're in the bathroom, brushing their teeth. And Joe Rogan can't use the bathroom. Oh, okay. You know. Yeah, we should have had a better setup with that, you know. Maybe we can do that. Maybe we can have a bathroom right next to the stage. Hey, I'm just throwing out suggestions. Maybe we should leave a heroin spoon in there too, what do you think?

59:51Absolutely. Just symbolic for Stevie. Let it happen. Yeah, he was a big heroin guy. But he cleaned up. Yeah, I believe he did, right? Yeah, he cleaned up. And I think his like, you can find his like AA speaks on our speaks. Hmm. Speeches, qualified, whatever you call it on YouTube. Heroin and music, boy. How many fucking amazing musicians were heroin users? Isn't it unbelievable? I tried to do this as a joke. It never worked. But I'm like, Keith Richards is playing fuck, he's like soloing on heroin. Like I take a Tylenol PM and I can't read anymore. I'm like, I gotta lay down. I mean, it's unbelievable that these guys can shoot heroin and play guitars.

1:00:34Did he shoot it? Did Keith shoot it or did he snort it? Like, how did he do his heroin? I don't know. I don't know either. But, whoever, I mean name, whoever, I mean, I'm sure, you know, co -bein all those guys. It's so many guys. But I never did heroin. I don't know what it's like to be on heroin. But in my mind, I didn't do a lot of big drugs. I bumped into a friend of mine at Skankfest and he was like, I'm on acid right now. And in my mind, acid, you're not like, oh, hey, it's Jo list. How you doing? I'd picture like, there's a fucking lizard walking at me. But I guess it's not really like that.

1:01:06It depends on the dose. Right. You know, you can get to like come some serious reality dissolving doses. Sure. I think of acid as like, you go in the woods, so you look at the Jefferson Airplane video or whatever. Not you're walking around a festival communicating with people. Yeah, you queue up Pink Floyd. Right. And the Wizard of Oz. Yes. Yeah. It's just fun to do. It's crazy that it works. Roger Waters said there's total coincidence. Yeah, I mean, it seems coincidental, but it's fucking cool. It's insane. How good it is. Like, when you sink it up perfectly, it really does seem like it's a soundtrack to the movie.

1:01:44It's a lot of fun. Great album, great film. But how does something like that happen? Where the sync radicity is so perfect. I don't know. Why do you have a theory? I don't know. I don't know. I think there's more to the world than physical things. I really do. I just think we're skeptical of that because we can't measure it. I think there's more to the world. There's more connections in the world than we would like to imagine, because I think they'd be overwhelming. But I think there's connections with your very mind. I think your mind and the world interact with each other in a way that changes the world and changes your mind.

1:02:26I think sometimes there's like evidence of that in just these weird, unique ways. Like two ideas converged together, and even though it's completely coincidental, that pink Floyd and the Wizard of Oz, you know, was it dark side of the moon, right? Yeah. That they sync up absolutely perfectly. But maybe it's not. But maybe it's the universe saying, look, look at this little cute little Easter egg. Look at this cute little tidbit. We're showing you that this is not a logical universe. Like there's some weird stuff to it. Super weird stuff. But some of it also feels like the confirmation bias. Like you're told these go -together, so you're watching, and they do feel like they go together.

1:03:11But some of it you're like, oh, the lion and that sound. But you're kind of just... Listen, let's play it. We play dark side. Show a dark side of the moon connected with Wizard of Oz. When you actually see, like I used to think that too. Like all these hippies are trying to find fucking connections and anything, fucking pothids. You know, trying to be skeptical. And then I watched, I was like, oh, oh my god, this is crazy. I mean, I haven't done it since high school, but it was fun. And it's also interesting who the first person to do it was. I'm sure that information is somewhere. But when you actually see it, the connection is insane.

1:03:46It's so good. It really does seem like that's what happened. Like they made it for it. Wizard of Oz rules. Great film. When's the last time you watched it? Long time ago. One of the funniest scenes ever is when the cowardly lion runs and jumps out of a fucking window. It's like one of the great comedic scenes. He's scared of the wizard and he fucking runs and dives out the window. It's very funny. What a guy. And the special effects were dog shit. Yeah. Boy, 1930, whatever it was. 39. I found out a chunk. This is like just a part. That's all we do. Here. I thought it started later. No, this is where it's chunk of it.

1:04:26This is where it cuts. And this is the part. This is time. This is the time now. And this is perfect too because it's such a great song.

1:04:41I love that this is the TBS version. Look at the way the sound ends. The timing of it. Right? Right when she arrives at the gate. The loud bells stop. Right. And she's talking. It's about to begin. She walks out of the music. Dude, it's wild.

1:05:11And now you see the conflict, right? Turn her head at the exact moment. Yeah. So there's this conflict. Because she, the pause, you go and see the other guy. Another pause. She goes to the other lady. Right. I mean, it's time perfect.

1:05:27Man, this song rules. This song, fucking rules. Now watch this. As the buildup happens, like the tension increases in the scene, people getting more frantic. Women wear gloves back then, bro. They're working it out.

1:05:57She's trying to get it to put the dog in the basket. Fuck you, bitch. It puts the dog in the basket against the pose again. Now watch.

1:06:09It's crazy how well the timing is.

1:06:20They're taking a little dog away, man.

1:06:29You can't. You fucking fat, can't. That's the witch, bro. Now watch this here. The moment to think of a dog day. Pretend we're in the house and I'm out of hand.

1:06:52Thinking around all the pieces of ground in your hometown. Go, Toto.

1:07:10That's nice.

1:07:21Listen, you can obviously say that it's coincidental in some parts, but God damn it. That's just one piece. There's like through the whole movie. It's just like syncs up and syncs up and syncs up. It's fun. It's fun. Back before the internet, it was perfect. You could just say this is what it was. They did the music to the Wizard of Oz. Yeah, it's fun. Wizard of Oz, do anything that's the most referenced film ever? Like deep in our... Kids know references. They've never even seen the movie. You see someone to bite. People go like, you're a little dog. There's no place like home. There's so many references that just live in the psyche.

1:08:01From a film that came out 100 years ago, almost. Right. It's the most seen film and movie history. There you go. According to the Library of Congress. All right. I buy that. The movie's seen and heard. What's number two? Let's try to think of it. The Barbie movie. I want to try to think. Maybe it's got to be like Snow White or some Bambi. Something like that. Conan. Oh. The TV has a different list order. What's IMDb's number one? Titanic. Titanic. Oh yeah. It has to be. What about Avatar? And then it has ET is number two. Oh wow. ET is finished. So Titanic's number one? According to IMDb. Is that box office or just...

1:08:51It's just washed. I've been watched. I actually typed in most scene movie. I typed in the exact same thing it says. And this says most watched movie is of all times. Because it's different quality of a cage. Because Wizard Vaz has been around for 80. It came out in 39. So you have all those people. But Wizard Vaz is great. And she was supposed to be like a 12 -year -old. You know, they would like tying her tits down and everything? Jesus. Yeah, it's crazy. She was supposed to be 12 and they were taping her tits down. And evidently the little people were harassing her, grabbing her pussy. Jesus Christ.

1:09:23Yeah, it's crazy stories. People were horrible back then. Did you ever see Shirley Temple? Like any of the old Shirley Temple stuff? Just clips. I've never liked sat and watched a Shirley Temple film. It's bizarre. Really? She was massive, right? Yeah, she's massive. But here's what's bizarre. There's scenes where... I mean, she's a little girl. And she's on an airplane with a bunch of men. And these men can't stop looking at her. She's sitting on their laps. Was that the good -ship lollipop that she was singing? Where do you see this? And she was really young. You know, and this is what happened to her when she's, you know, I don't know how she was.

1:10:04But she, like, eight or nine or like... It's a good question. I think younger than that when she first started. Really young. So, oh, she looks like she's four. Oh, yeah. The orchestra's a little play -off. You know that song? She's younger than I thought she was. Watch this.

1:10:27I've thrown away my toys. Even my drama and train. I want to make some noise with real life and real play. Someday I'm going to fly. I'll be your pilot too. And when I do, how would you like to be my crew? Oh, boy. Look at this. On the go -or -chip lollipop it's sweet trip to a candy shop where pawns on the plane. On the Sunday beach a peppermint bag. Then they stand. How weird is this? It's a little odd.

1:11:24Fast -roaring to the lap dance scene. Oh, my God. I was joking. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. So, hold on.

1:11:36And now they're all carrying her. Oh, no. Oh, Jesus.

1:11:46She's all cooked up. That's it's supposed to be. Like, what was that they put on her nose? What was that? I don't know. They're giving her toys now.

1:12:03Oh, Jesus. Bro, how weird is that? It's a little strange. I mean, it's always fascinating that her parents were like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, carry around, guys. My friend Matt Wayne, he's a great comic, he's my opener. He does a bit about, like, you have to be, I think it's like 10 days old to appear in film. And he went to, he really went to a screening of the choir plays part two. And they had a special guest at the appearance and it was the fucking baby. Like, they just held up with whatever three month old baby, oh, maybe the baby was a year and a half at that point. And was like, here it is. Here's the baby.

1:12:37I mean, it's really fascinating to have a baby and be like, take my baby. And he says Jim from the office just take my baby. It's a great bit. But it's really odd. These people that are like, absolutely, just have a baby. He's a baby in the movie. Yeah, walk around with my baby. That's our share all up there on that screen. It's fucking. One of the aliens reading the other folks. It's great. I mean, I guess somebody has to do it. You're going to have babies in film because remember they did American sniper. And famously, there was the fake baby. Yeah, you got busted with a fake baby. It was really bad.

1:13:07But people got mad. Yeah, mad at the fake baby. It was, I mean, it did look ridiculous. I don't remember how bad it looked. It was fine. It was fine. It's not good. Not a great film in my opinion, but the baby with or without the baby. Doesn't look horrible there. Oh my god, it did look so horrible. No one would tell me why should I be getting. Come on, watch this. It's like so fake. Look how fake that looks. Look. I mean, it's just lifeless. Yeah. Yeah, the arms aren't moving. Oh, you just wanted to stop. You think we're stupid? That's hilarious. You think we're stupid? They must have been like just do a little thumb thing.

1:13:55Yeah.

1:13:59That is great. It almost looks like he's looking like, is this work? He's doing puppetry. He's doing super high level puppetry and moving. Poor guy. I mean, it's like puppetry that the whole world's going to see. Would you hand your baby to a... No. Fuck out of me. I don't think they should use kids in movies. I mean, I guess you got to at some point, right? Every kid that I've ever met, bar none, that was famous when they were young as fucked up. Yeah, it's not good. I mean, most people get fucked up. Most adults get fucked up from fame. Yeah, it's... This is what I think it's like. I think it's like making cement.

1:14:39See, when you make cement, you need to put the right amount of water, the right amount of grit, the right amount of all that stuff. You mix it all together. But if you have not enough water from the beginning, your cement's bullshit. And it's never going to get better. You can't add water later. Right. That's what it's like when some people get famous young. They didn't develop into an actual human being. They developed into a famous person. So the path that they took is so alien to everybody else on earth that no one can relate to them, other than other little famous kids, and they're all fucked up too.

1:15:19Yeah. No, and then you have money and a weird sense of ego that you're like, I'm a star. You're not prepped to handle that. Yeah, I mean, some of them were working through it. I had to be more on the show. She's working through it. How young was she when she became famous? Very young. Oh, really? What did I say? Demi Moore? I did. Oh, I was like, that was a great one. I was like, no kidding. Sorry, Demi Moore. That's hilarious. I got one idea. That was up late last night. Because she was young, but now I was like... So Demi Blobato, sorry. I don't think I know who that is. She's saying her. Yeah, actress.

1:16:01I'm a boomer, man. She was in the Mickey Mouse Club, right? No. Wasn't she? Maybe Disney. I don't know about Mickey Mouse for sure. I could show you. She was definitely a Disney girl. Barney, she was in a TV show. Yeah, and Miley Cyrus. She's another one that I've talked to that had a similar experience. You know, she was on Hannah Montana. She was super young, and she was a fucking superstar. Not familiar. This is Demi Blobato. Yeah. I want to congratulate Demi Blobato on taking back her gender. Isn't she like, she's no longer non -binary? Sorry, I got to go to airplane mode. I don't know how to get the notifications off.

1:16:33I'm just vibrating over here. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go to sounds, right? I thought... Oh, no, you have to go all that stupid shit. You swipe down from the top, right? And then you go to this right here. Do not disturb. Oh. Bam. Beautiful. You won't get any text messages until you swipe back. And go and get it. I'll show you how to do that later. Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm like 100 years old. I'm right corner, swipe down. Beautiful. Not hard. I know. Well, I'm... But anyway, no, you can't use my fucking baby in your stupid movie. It's fucking... I think because CGI baby, they can make dragons.

1:17:06Look at the Game of Thrones dragons. You can't make a fucking baby. Yeah, it feels like you could do that. And now, deleted tweet, American sniper scream writer Jason Hall wrote that director Clint East would opt for the fake baby after the first child selected for the sequence became ill. And a second baby failed to show up on set. So we had to go with the fake baby. Maybe the parents had a change of heart. Maybe they called their mother and was like, you can't fucking drop your baby off to Clint Eastwood. This is... My feeling is they should have shot that scene differently. If you're gonna use a fake baby, you have not telling Clint Eastwood not to make a movie.

1:17:42But you have this guy reaching and pick up the baby and then you shoot him from the chest up. Right. Except for a rare... Like, American Werewolf and London glimpsed of the baby. So you have to like go back over... Like, I think they'll like... Bradley Cooper, an American fake baby scene. I couldn't believe we were doing it. Because I was like, this is nuts. Ah, the poor guy. Ah, imagine. And he's like a top of the food chain actor that make him do puppetry with a fake baby. I mean... It just takes you totally out of the movie. Of course. That sucks. That sucks. But if he shot it differently, it wouldn't.

1:18:25If he shot it differently. Like, the lady's got the baby. She's holding onto the baby. His back enters the scene. He's bundling in his arms. Next thing you see, it's him shot up. You don't see the baby. You see him holding... This obviously is holding the baby in his arms. But you look in his face. Right. I guess they wanted to show this killer with the baby. He can show a fake baby. It's really bad. And that was not even one... I remember being in the theater being like, what? It wasn't even one that you find out later. Like, there's so many movie moments where the stunt double has a mustache.

1:19:00And he doesn't. And then you look close and you're like, oh shit, which is a bunch of those. Which are always fun. Yeah. There was a famous one on flash dance. The woman doing the audition dance. It wasn't a woman. They had a man do it. But he refused to shave his mustache. And there's a moment you can freeze frame. I'm sure you can find it where... You just see what I forget the actress's name. I'm a maniac. That whole thing. Yeah. And she has a fucking... It's a guy with a mustache. Because he wouldn't shave it. And they were just like, all right, we'll just go with it. It's a guy that was doing that?

1:19:30Yeah. I'm pretty... I mean, I hope this is true. I'm going to feel like an ass. I just just told this. Oh, it's what it's like. I remember seeing it, though. I swear. Jamie, come on. Come through, baby. Oh, that's gonna be tough. You found my bit. You found my boiling Pepsi bit. There's no way flash dance mustache. Maybe. She's a maniac. maniac. I can't look for that. That one. And then there's the other great song from the woman that just died. What's the other great fucking song on there? It's a... First when there's nothing but a dull egg injury. Oh, yeah. Oh, I see what it is. Take your passion and make it happen.

1:20:12It's not the whole dance that was... Irene Cara. I didn't Cara. Yeah, she just died. But that song rules. Yeah. I'm gay. Fame. I'm on the beat forever. There was a weird time where those kind of movies were like very popular, very musical dramas. Yeah. About people that are just talented and they're going to make it. Of course. And they were at scarfs and they're from the rough side of town, but they get together and shine. But doesn't that song get you as somebody that pursued a dream? I listen to that song and I'm like, this is me, baby. I took my passion right at that. You made it happen. You made it happen.

1:20:46Fucking right, man. Do you want to live forever? I don't want to live forever. I mean, I want to live forever, but I don't. I'd like to live in this state for a long time. I've been thinking about this and talking about this a lot lately. Living forever? I think if Heaven's real. If Heaven's real. And I was the devil. You know what I would do? I'd convince people that they should extend their life. I'd convince people that they can live forever. I'd convince people to transplant their soul into a machine where they would be trapped for eternity. If you could just trick them. Right. Imagine if Heaven's real.

1:21:23Imagine if you die one day and you're like, oh my God, it's real. It's not like a dude in the clouds and I'm out with a book. It's like, what'd you do when you were in seventh grade? You lied to your mom and you're like, it's not. So what is it? What is Heaven then? What if it's just some other realm? Where you're disembodied. Disembodied from your physical being, but you live in a realm of pure consciousness. Just pure consciousness interacting with other consciousness. It's just geometry, just patterns. And what if that's where you're supposed to be? That's great. But what if this place just keeps getting increasingly more dystopian?

1:22:08And as life goes on, you signed up to live forever. But now life is suck. It's just suck. It's just everybody's eating insect burgers. And all your time is monitored by the great overlord powers of the world economic form, which controls the earth. You're cooked up to some grid and you have to be attached to it in labor for X amount of hours per day in order to be fed and housed. This sounds similar to reality. Yeah, but what if it keeps getting worse? I might keep getting worse. What if that's really what hell is? What if hell is the trick that you're scared to die? So you sign up to be a part of this cyborg program and you literally lose your soul.

1:22:54Your soul gets transplanted into a machine forever since the devil's trick. And it's just you looking at TikTok all day. Just fucking dark web and that's hell. The problem is I would never consider that as a possibility because there's so many loons that run around telling you the devil is crafty and the devil has plans for you. And you're like, sure he does. Okay, it's the devil. Right. But what if it is the devil? And what if one of the ways the devil gets you to think that the devil's stupid? It says a bunch of stupid people believe in the devil. Now is he a devil? Does he have horns in the tail and stuff?

1:23:26Like a fiery guy? Because that's always amusing to me. I bet. I bet he could look at him when he wants. I mean, he's got the power to manipulate all of mankind. We're assuming that it's real. Right. He's like T1000. Yeah. Or T2000, whatever. Now much more complicated than that. It's literally like tempting you to do the wrong thing all the time. What if that's like a real thing, like a real force in the universe? And it's not just the problems with human biology and the design. It's the only way for you to spread your DNA and tribal warfare and people stealing resources from other people So that their DNA would survive and the other ones wouldn't.

1:24:09Which is what it's been for all of human history. There's all the warring and all the fevery and all the horrible shit that people have done to each other. It's all like a survival thing. It's like it's all programmed in like that. You freaking me out, Joe. Yeah. You're losing me. I'm getting nervous. You should be. You should be a little nervous. Like what if the trap, the big ultimate trap, is downloading your consciousness into something. Right. Like what if the soul actually can be contained? Like what if there's a way to actually put it into something? Like we think of the soul as being, you know, like if you believe in it at all, you think your soul leaves your body when you die.

1:24:49But what if you can suck it out of your body before you die, lock it up in a kendo? I would love for someone to try to suck my soul out. Be at the cock. But what you describe as consciousness and just interact with other consciousness, that is reality, is it not? Or what if you can make duplicates of your consciousness? What kind of a hell would that be? What if you just couldn't help it? Like one of them ladies and as big giant fake butts? What if you just kept making more and more duplicates? Like what if Donald Trump got a hold of the duplicates of your consciousness machine? And they said Donald, do you know how well you would donate the world if there was a million of you?

1:25:33All working together in sync. I mean literally the worst thing. A million? We can do a million. We can do a billion. That's someone else might be saying a million is enough. I would say it's not. There's eight billion people. Why are there eight billion Trumps? And so you have eight billion of you. You just keep, if you have money, just keep making duplicates of your consciousness and sending it out there. That'd be crazy. That's all I have for this one. We're going to reach a point, like we were talking about like changing your structure, like using genetics. They're going to do that. And they're also going to merge.

1:26:10People are going to merge with machines. It's going to happen in our life. Do you think? 100%. 100%. They're already working on it. They're already working. And the first, the doorway to it is going to be helping people with neurological conditions, injuries, spinal cord injuries. People can't move their bones. They can't move their muscles correctly. Right. But does I, I feel like people are just going to have robots that they work with for a while at least before they merge. Don't you think? I think the real dilemma is going to be what happens first and what has to happen first. So if artificial intelligence can now make its own decisions, and if artificial intelligence becomes sentient, means it becomes independent, and then decides to make its own decisions and make a better version of itself, it's going to very quickly reach some godlike level.

1:27:03The only way we're going to survive is if we're merging with it. If we're still just fucking talking monkeys, and we create this thing that's infinitely smarter than us, and immediately puts a stop to all the shenanigans in the world, cuts off Pacific Ocean fishing, like engineers all the plastic removal, kills all the coal plants, redesigns nuclear power, you know, gets rid of all the fucking solar. Like this is a stick, put a fucking reactor here. Get out of here with your panels. You've got 85 football fields covered up with this ugly black square thing. Fuck out of here. What are you dummies doing?

1:27:45Oh, you're a wind farm? Great. What are you going to do with all those birds that get chewed up like they're flying into a fan? Pull that shit down. And then they'll redesign all of our irrigation systems, they'll redesign all the food, and then they go, why are we feeding these morons? Right. What are they doing? You feed them what are they doing? They just want to eat Doritos and drink soda pop and watch 90 day fiance. That's all they wanted to do. Well, that's the scary thing is they realize they don't need us. Someone used the metaphor of like cows. We eat cows, and we wear them. So we have cows around.

1:28:16But if we had, what do we call it? 3D printers that just made meat and leather, we would probably be like, no, we don't need these cows anymore. They're just, they stink and they're methane is fucking up the environment. Let's just get rid of them. You know, where the cows? You know what the darkest? Conspiracy theory about aliens is. I don't know if I'm ready for it. That earth is essentially a farm, and human beings are the vessels that contain souls, and they want us, because this is how they create souls. And so they're farming us, they've created us. So we started off as primates, and through some sort of genetic intervention, I'm not saying I believe this.

1:28:57I'm just saying that this is like top of the food chain, put your tin foil hat on super tight, that we, they farm us, and that the whole reason why human beings are involved in this conflict, constant conflict is, it's all of it is to increase our competition with each other, increase our ability to control resources, which will increase our technology, which will ultimately lead to us creating this being that we're going to create. This artificially intelligent super god, which is going to happen. I don't even know what to say. I mean, that sounds crazy. I hope that's not the case. I got gigs.

1:29:37I think the gigs are going to be over. No, come on. What are you doing? You're bumping me out. Once we become cyborgs, comedy is not going to be what we do anymore. We're going to be flying. We're going to be, we're going to realize UFOs are around us all the time. No, we're going to be just seeing them. We're going to be just fine. That's great. Great. I'm always worried about the future. The unknown is terrifying, of course. What about the election? When I worried about the election? Yeah. Slightly. I've gotten much better at being like, I can't control any of this. And so I just take it a day at a time.

1:30:11But this could be, it could be. It's very A of you. It is. Yeah. I mean, that's, I'm an A .A. guy. I mean, I got a, that's, but that's also just a proper way to live. Yeah, it's a smart way to live. Sort of thing. I can't control it. But yeah, it's going to be crazy. It also feels like Trump is going to win, doesn't it? More than it ever felt like in 2016. Certainly. In 2016, it was like a joke to say that he was going to win. Yes. There was like eight people that were like, guys. You go on stage, you go, Trump's going to win. You plus A's and people would go, whoa, whoa, whoa. You could play a character that said Trump was going to win.

1:30:44Right. You don't even know about the regular America. Well, I think he didn't even think he was going to win. Oh, I thought he thought I think he thought he was going to win. You do? Yeah. Oh, I thought he, it felt like he was like, oh, okay. Did you see the, the footage that was removed from, what was it? Meet the press. No. They removed nine minutes of him denying the election. Of Trump? So he does his interview. And the nine minutes that got removed is all him talking about the Hunter Biden laptop that that was election interference and that they were doing ballot stuffing. The lady's going, that's all been disproven.

1:31:22That's been disproven by the heads of your intelligence agency that's been disproven by your team. You know that that's not true. And they're like going back and forth. It's like, it's really wild. Let's move on to more productive topics, Mr. President. Let's move on, Mr. President. And he's like, it's real. They stuffed the ballots. You've seen them stuff it. You've seen the photos. It's a wild conversation. And they took it off the internet? Yeah. Well, they took it off the show. And he's essentially saying like if he went to court, he'd have so much evidence that he'd win in court. Right. But why don't they go to court then?

1:31:53This is what I don't understand. I don't want to get a, I'm agnostic about all this stuff. Until you show me like what kind of evidence is involved in this. But isn't it, I mean, am I just consuming too much mainstream evidence? I mean, media, like, I think there is no evidence. I think he's completely, Well, what he's saying is that there is evidence and that he needs to provide it in court. And what I'm saying is like, why aren't you in court then? Yeah. Because he's lying. Well, I don't know. He's not just sitting. Don't know if something got it's going to sit on evidence. It's going to show that he won.

1:32:25But that's a big lie. And the other things that he said before, you know, they were saying that he was lying about 100 Biden. They were saying he was lying about the laptop. And then they got the 51 intelligence agencies to back up. Well, the fact that it was disinformation. But he was right about that though. He was right about the bribe. He was right about all that shit. Well, that's the tricky thing about lying so much. It's occasionally you're going to say correct things. And people are going to be like, oh, wait. Well, no, you know what it's like. It's like you're lying about another lie.

1:32:51Well, you're telling the truth about another lie. Right. It doesn't mean that you don't lie. Yeah, of course. Just because you catch someone lying doesn't mean you don't lie too. Yeah, I mean, Donald Trump has certainly said many true things. But it's hard to parse. Parcel, parse, what's the word there? Part in parcel, I think. Yeah, I can't remember. But like, for instance, I was lying about the word. I was lying about the dancing mustache guy in flash dance. I'm about to do that. I'm about to do that. Oh, I've found it. So what did this? You got it? I've been sweating. See, there's this cock.

1:33:20It was a stunt double for part of the dance. So you can see all the giant squads are right there. Oh, yeah. The rest of this. I'll play it for you. So you can see. So there's her. That's her. She's very shapely. Here, it switches to the guy right now. And then he'll do this cool move that maybe she couldn't do. You can see he's got tights on this. Yes, this is the mustache. Oh, he's so jacked. Yeah, that's me right there. So like if you free, if I, I had positive, you can kind of tell it's not. That's so crazy. He didn't take the mustache off. Can you see the mustache? It's so obviously a dude.

1:33:54That's so crazy. And it's a jack dude. Look at that guy looks like an MMA fighter. Those hammy's maybe. He's so thick. I'm not seeing the mustache all that clearly though. I don't want to see the mustache. I don't want to see the mustache. I don't want to see the mustache. I don't want to see the mustache. I don't want to see the mustache. He's the guy. He definitely has a mustache. He's fucking jacked though. Look at her hair and look at his hair. Look at her spinning. He's got fucking short hair. They didn't even give him a wig. Look. Damn it. The mustache thing is bothering me though. I swear there was a mustache.

1:34:23It might be like a Shane Gillis mustache. One of those ones you only see when you're right next to him. You get close when you're kissing him. There's a clip I saw of like the director explaining this and that clip. The guy that showed the guy and he does have a mustache. I mean, I just feel like I remember him. Alright. There's my mustache in there. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe the guy grew a mustache later. Not a liar. You're not a liar. It was a dude though. Can I start another cigar? Fuck you. I mean, all this alien talk we're all going to die. I'm having a child. You're telling me the world's going to end.

1:34:49Oh, I don't think the world's going to end. I think the world's going to change. Are you a hopeful person in general or are you pessimistic optimistic? I'm more optimistic than I am pessimistic. That's good. Yeah. I have faith in people. I think people need to somehow be confronted by the reality of the times that we're living in. How captured our ideas are and just to be careful of what we're doing in terms of worldwide conflict, personal conflict, all conflict. I think we're just too embroiled in unnecessary conflict. I think it's fucking dangerous. It's just the political conflict, the social conflict that we have.

1:35:36It gets in the way of all the great aspects of life. Of course. And the problem is, you know, it's like people want things to be better. And they're convinced that this path is the way to make things better. And the other people are convinced that that's not the way to make things better. And there's no meeting in the middle. And these people are Nazis and these people are Marxists. Well, so much of this is social media. I know I'm not coming out with a groundbreaking theory here. But I think social media is really fucking us and dangerous. It would all be improved to limit it to some degree. Yeah, I'm getting a new phone and not putting any apps on it.

1:36:18I'm keeping an old phone that I'm going to use for social media where I'll go and post things and stuff like that. But I'm done. Yeah, it's really not good. But the AI stuff, also they could fucking cure cancer. And what do you call it? What's the other one? All's Heimers and all that shit and climate change. Fix that shit up. Get a carbon vacuum. Suck that shit. Play it right in the earth. That's all positive. I was reading about some controversy involved in some fake meat company where one of the whistleblowers is saying, like, are we the next Theoranos? Who's that again? Theranos. Theranos was that lady Elizabeth Holmes, who who faked these blood test things.

1:37:03I think this thing's dying. No, it's going to be. I need to like rejuice it for some reason. The test. It's almost like it's leaking. I think it might be like leaking fluid or something. It's going to blow. People always all look away. Oh, God. We'll go away. Just get my neck a little bit. Committee and Joe Rogan torches tits during podcast. Good cool, Scar. A little tit torch. See, yeah, you are an optimist. Yeah. If I like myself on fire, it'd be a cool. Most of the time I'm optimistic. But I'm also, look, the world is far better right now than it's ever been. And it seems to always be moving in a far better direction.

1:37:45And even all the social conflict, like a lot of the shit that I don't agree with, like a lot of the youth gender ideology stuff and a lot of the social justice warrior stuff, I see why it would be a good idea to pursue this idea of making things more equal for everybody. Like it's all in the right vein. I just don't think it works. It doesn't, I don't think it works accurately with human nature. But I like the fact that that's the direction that people are pushing aggressively rather than racism. Like imagine if like the same exact anti -racism, like energy, was now pushed towards, you know, a racist agenda like Nazi Germany, because that was the same kind of thing.

1:38:30Right. But it was a negative thing, right? It was an extermination thing. But it's, I think people, we got to be real careful about like the conflict that we get in. And for fucking no reason. Yeah. But it does feel like everyone is coming from what they feel is a good place. Exactly. As did Hitler. I'm sure Hitler was like, we got to get rid of these Jews that's going to be better for everybody. Yeah. So everyone thinks they're coming from a good place. Well all the ideas of eugenics, those guys probably all thought they were coming from an idea of a good place. But to us, it's horrifying. So you're going to all the weak people, you're just going to kill them.

1:39:08Right. And just have only like the best strongest, like best like, okay. Your music is going to suck. Right. Your music is going to suck. Your food's probably going to taste like shit. You're comedians. I mean, my God. You're going to suck. Your authors are going to suck. Yeah. Like you're going to change, you're going to become a warrior class. You're going to be the Spartans. Is that what we're going to do? Hopefully, don't you feel like maybe people will start, there's more and more studies about social media. What's healthy? We know more and more about what's healthy, getting into the outdoors and being with people, being of service.

1:39:45As there's many, not to get AA again, but like there's many scientific studies that like when you're serving other people, that's the key to happiness. And there's more and more podcasts and books and studies about this. So hopefully people go, boy, I'm really fucking depressed and unhappy. Let me get into nature, put my phone down, be of service to others, and you have more people doing that. You do, but I think it's like the warnings on cigarette boxes. Everybody knows they're there and they keep smoking cigarettes. Social media is super addictive, man. But less people smoke than before. That's true.

1:40:16So they have worse. Still a lot of people smoke. Of course, but... You might have more people that realize that social media is detrimental to your mental health. You probably have more people that would recognize it. Yeah. And I think more people do recognize it now than ever before. The problem is once you're hooked, it's fucking super hard to get off of it. Yeah, it's really hard. I'm bad when I'm by myself. When I'm with people, I'm very good about being present. But I spend so much time on the road. And when I'm in the hotel, I find myself being like, I'm gonna watch a movie or read. And then I read three paragraphs and I'm like, oh, that's a...

1:40:48What's up with that guy? And I go to Wikipedia and start reading shit. Yeah, the thing to me is, you know, I love the fact that you can get entertainment on your phone. I love YouTube. I love podcasts. I love the fact that you listen to music. I love that. That's my favorite part of the phone. I feel like that's overall net positive. You know, I could watch ESPN Plus on my phone. I watch fights like live streaming just with 5G. If I'm stuck somewhere, like there's a UFC card, I'd fucking set my phone down right here. And I could watch the fights. I've had to do some boring ass shit that I agreed to do.

1:41:24And really part of it, you're just sitting there. I'm like, I'll post it on my phone. I got the fights on now, right? I love that. But the social media thing where people are checking their likes and checking what everybody else is doing. And I just think that robs you of time to just interact with people and think. And I think we've become super accustomed to that feverie. To the point where we just sort of accepted it. And I've only gone a couple of times without doing it. But one time that I did it was in Hawaii. I broke my phone. I dropped it and it just started randomly dialing phone numbers.

1:41:57I'd hold it up and it would just randomly dial and I'd press a button. I'm like, we're going to this. And then it would dial somebody else and I'd press it, send end and then dial someone else. And you couldn't stop it from doing it. And I restarted, kept doing it. So I had an order of phone from Apple. I was on the one nine. It's a small island. It took like three days to get me a phone. But during that three days, I felt so much better. I had the same thing happen. I was at Denver Comedy Works a few years ago. The same thing my phone just crapped out. And I had like two days without it. And you're like, this is amazing.

1:42:26Yeah, I was like a normal person again. And I was with my family. So I knew where everybody was. We were all hanging out together. So it was like normal. And I was like, oh my god, this is such a better way to interact in life. And then as soon as I got my phone, I went right back to it. Yeah, it's hard not to. I was just listening to a thing too. Some, I don't know, psychologist guy or something. It was talking about boredom. Like what you feel when you're bored. Like we need to feel that. And that evolutionarily was like, basically you'd be out hunting. And then no animals were coming by. And so you felt boredom.

1:42:59And that was your brain, your body telling you like, hey, go do something else. Product, go get berries. Yeah. Or go fucking sleep or whatever. Right. We need that to go, oh, you know what I should do is something else. But instead of feeling that, we just go straight to the phone. It's also one of the ways you come up with your best ideas. Right. You know, when you're just bored and thinking and then you're stuck in a waiting room somewhere with no magazines. And then next thing, you know, like I used to have some of my best friends. And then I used to have some of my best ideas on airplanes.

1:43:26Because I would be stuck on the airplane. I couldn't go anywhere. Yeah. And back when there was no Wi -Fi and airplanes, all I had was a notebook. Yeah, it was nice. The subway was like that in New York too. Before when I first moved there, you would have a 45 minute ride home just with your thoughts. Same thing. Exactly. Yeah. And we missed that. For whatever reason, we didn't think that was valuable. Because the entertainment that you get off a TikTok or Twitter or any of that stuff is so much better. Well, and now you also have the feeling that I can be productive all the time. And in reality, it makes you less productive.

1:44:00But you think I can work, which is one of the problems they talk about with people working from home now is there's no more clocking in and clocking out. You wake up and you immediately start. So you end up working more. Maybe. Or you fuck off a lot. Right. I caught jerkin' off. Right. About that. That too. But there's a lot of pros and cons to work in from home. The pros would all apply if you have discipline. You have discipline like why do you need to be in an office? If you have work that you can get done without other people. But don't we need the dopamine's, the eye contact, the bumping into people?

1:44:34Sometimes you do. But it depends what you do. Right? Like if you're an author, you want silence, right? Right. You don't have to be in a fucking office with a bunch of people if you're an author. You want to be able to sit alone and just think. You want to be able to sit alone and come up with ideas. But my father's been working from home. He fucking hates it. He misses being on the train and bumping into it. And he's like an introverted guy. But you know, I'm going, how do you do? Whatever. We need those interactions. It's due to hate to tell you this. I have to piss again. Piss again. I'm so sorry.

1:45:02Piss in my mouth. I took a big IV back today. I'll be right back. Hey. We're back. We're back. This is like a dream to me because I piss a lot. So every time you have to piss, I'm like, this is beautiful. Yeah, usually I'm pretty good. Usually I can hang in there for a few hours. But it gets hard when I do the IV. And also before I did the IV, I did the sauna. When I go in the sauna, I drink a big fucking hydroflask filled with water. I got 64 ounce. Right. I had the steam today. I'm a big steam room guy. Yeah. Like steam. It's not I like both. I'm all steam. I prefer the sauna because I think it has more benefits because it gets hotter.

1:45:39Oh, really? The steam, like 120 degrees. Yeah. Yeah, sauna gets like, I do 185. Is that healthy? It seems to be for me. Yeah, I don't have a problem with it. But I built up to it. I do 20 minutes at 185. I usually do 25, but 20 seems to sometimes I'll still do 25. But especially if I've done the cold first. See, I'm at the gym. I don't have a personal sauna. Not yet. After this, I feel like you never know. But I'm sorry, guys. But I feel like the sauna at the gym is like 110 or something like that. Nah. Is it high? Probably warmer, but I bet they don't jack that sucker up too high. They probably won't let it get up to like where I like it.

1:46:24Yeah, I love the steam. I love that. Yeah. As soon as you get in there, you're fucking drenched and... It's also just good to get your body reacts to that and it cools it off. And that's what produces these heat shock proteins. They're really good for inflammation. Hot baths are good for it too. There's a lot of different heat exposures very good for you. But the best, at least in terms of the amount of studies that have been done, the best work has been done on the dry sauna. Not even an infrared sauna, which also has some benefits. But the dry sauna, they did this study in Finland that showed over 20 years.

1:46:56People that use the sauna four times or more a week showed a 40 % decrease in all cause mortality. Wow. Strokes, heart attacks, cancer, everything. And it's this anti -inflammation effect they believe from the heat shock proteins. Because your body just... Your body deals with that irritant, like this thing, this heat, this pressure. This thing where your body has to react to a very extreme condition. Right. And in doing so, it creates this anti -inflammatory properties to kind of protect itself. And then when you get out of there, it just flushes through your body. Maybe I'll start doing more of this.

1:47:38Relaxed. Yeah. It's great. All right, I'll go sauna. But it seems great too. Wow, it feels good. It seems good for your voice and your skin. Skin? Yeah, I'm glowing. Yeah, it's weird in there. It's fucking foggy. My buddy, a friend of mine, and I, we used to go to 24 -hour fitness in California. And one of the guys who was the manager of 24 -hour fitness, they had just moved him over from West Hollywood. And I go... We were talking... I go, what part of West Hollywood did you have? He was the gayest part of West Hollywood. That's where 24 -hour fitness is. He was basically gay. He was gay pickup gym.

1:48:19Right. And so they had to stop guys from fucking in the steam room. And like, they kept happening. So they had to like literally like have a guy outside of the steam room. I think that's... Dude, it's didn't fucking there. That's a big thing. I go to equinox, it's the same thing. They called it a gay friend of mine told me it's called the low self -esteem room. Because everyone's in there blowing and fucking each other. Imagine you're just a guy who goes in there to just get a steam and two guys are sucking each other off. I mean, I do a bit about it. I mean, I don't want to just do a bit here.

1:48:49But like, I feel the way. Like, I've never seen sex. And I wonder, am I just like a fucking dork that they're like, oh, this guy's not cool. Like, everyone's like, put it away fucking this idiot's here. Maybe it's a special thing to only have like one every three days. Well, maybe it's like a Monday, Wednesday, Friday, schedule. It might be at night too. But I'm sure. I have access to all the equinox, occasionally I'll go to the one in Chelsea. And I think that's one of the big ones I've heard. But I haven't seen it. Is equinox a 24 hour place? No, I think it closed. I don't know, 11 or midnight or something.

1:49:22I think it depends. But I've been going to the one here, hitting the steam room. And that's just me. But when I'm in there, I am like, is something about to go down? Is something about to go down? Right, I never know. Because I'd like to be asked. I did have a guy flirt one time with me. And he was quite flirty. And it was nice because he was complimenting my body, which, you know, I enjoy. Nice. I wasn't going to fuck him, but I still was like, thank you, man. I appreciate it. Did he ask you if you were straight? No, he didn't ask about it. He was just like, you have a nice little body. But I'm, I think a straight married man is the biggest get you can get.

1:49:55I think that's like, if you're gay guy, I'd fuck a straight guy. It's like a trophy bass. That's huge. Yeah. It's like a 15 pound bass. I mean, I was talking about being of service. I mean, that's the ultimate service. That is the ultimate service. I could give someone that gift. If you really believe in inclusion and equity and helping out the LBGT community, suck that guy off. Well, my thing is, and again, this is in my act. And I don't want to be the guy that comes on, it's just exactly the temperature is the deterrent. Like, I don't understand how you have sex in 120 degree room. That is a little too toasty for my, I like a thumb, like 68.

1:50:31It can be done. It depends on how horny you are. I mean, I'm not denying it can be done. Imagine if you have an had sex in weeks. And then all of a sudden, you're alone with your lady friend, which your wife in a fucking sauna. And she just moves that towel to the side. Yeah. You were about to black out, but you power through. I would enjoy that. Yeah. I mean, I do occasionally do squats. I feel like if you can do squats, you can fuck. Yeah, maybe just open the door of the sauna. Like, okay, we could do this, but let's let a little air in. Let the steam out. Just let a little air in. Let the steam out and the cream in.

1:51:06Hello folks. Hi. Hi. When does the term cream pie come around? I don't know. Because you just say that. You say cream pie and everybody knows what you're talking about. Yeah, all those terms. I don't know. Somebody, it's a fascinating thing. Somebody started all those terms. Somebody was like, we're calling it this. And those are the ultimate viral things. Yeah. I mean, that's that's viral before viral. Oh, we can answer Wikipedia about this. There is. A Wikipedia. A cream pie. Oh, shit. Pull it up. Meanwhile, they lock down Andrew Huberman. Oh, I can't put the picture in there. Oh, my God. There's a picture.

1:51:44I don't have that on screen. Wow. With a vagina and gizz coming out of the vagina on Wikipedia. That's beautiful. Cream pie. That's a lot of stuff. No one has an internal ejaculation and typically same sex context as a breeding is a sexual act commonly featured in hardcore pornography in which a man ejaculates inside his partner's vagina or anus without the use of a condom resulting in visible seeping or dripping of the semen from the orifice. And they show you a photo, for an example, like pornography on Wikipedia. Who fucking would have imagined? And they have a description of what the photo is, semen flowing out of a woman's vagina.

1:52:25Look at this. Internal ejaculation shots are a comparatively recent development development. Like it's a fucking it's a feature in the new technology. comparatively recent development of pornography. They're not found in early pornographic films. The use of the word cream pie describes such scenes originated in US pornography in the early 2000s and is found in usages early as the beginning of 1999. You're going to party like it's 1999. We fucking right. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. In straight pornography sexual activity is often followed by a facial, a pearl necklace or other visible ejaculation.

1:53:03Cream pie seems depart from heterosexual pornographic invention and favor of a depiction that more closely mimicked sexual activity has performed in ordinary life. They have been called the counter image of facials. Like fuck, there's like theory. There's porn theory. Well, how bizarre. You ever eat your own cream pie? What do you think?

1:53:32I know I have a friend who said he's done it many times and this is an often I often debate this with people. It's one of my favorite topic of conversations with women where he claims the women were all into it. He says that it's seven or eight times and they were all into it and I claim they are lying or humoring him because I've asked many, many women and the women I've asked and maybe I hang out in more conservative sexually conservative circles. But all the women I've asked were like I would be tremendously off put by that.

1:54:03Yeah, that seems super unusual that dude just goes down there and munches on his own jizz. Yeah, don't you find, I mean, I'm not interested in eating jizz particularly but don't you feel like right after you come, I have never felt less sexual. That's what's crazy to me is that after you come you're still interested in like doing something fucking naughty. Maybe it's a coped thing. Maybe a meth thing or an adoralt thing. You know what I'm saying? Like a speedy thing because that's one of the things that my friend used to tell me when James going to throw up over there. I had a friend that smoked crack and when he smoked crack he would just always want to jerk off and fuck.

1:54:45And I was like really he goes yeah, he was just trying to jerk off even if you're not horny, he just keep going. It's weird. Yeah, it's funny when I was on Tom's podcast, he was talking about what Luzon Jamie was. Just read the end of the article last last paragraph. Internal ejaculations followed by images of semen dripping from the anus are sometimes depicted in bear back gay pornography where they are referred to by the term breeding or reverse money shot. Breeding is sometimes followed by felching in which involves sucking the semen from the partner's anus. Hala at Chiboy. You're from the felt.

1:55:23He's a felcher. What that's from the anus. Well, I think it's from the but it's felching. Yeah, I don't like he was felching. I think he was like titting or whatever it was off the tits which is. Oh, that's even grosser. Yeah, that's even more disgusting. No, that's less gross than out of the asshole. I guess. Yeah, it's all gross. Yeah, because come is better than come and shit. Yeah, I guess, but you just looking come off tits and she's watching you and that's weird. Yeah, that's a weird thing. Well, you got different strokes for different folks, you know? Yeah, definitely. I mean, not hurting anybody.

1:56:01No, but I do don't you think these women are being kind by being like, oh, I like that. It depends on the kind of women. I mean, he might be dating like crazy tattooed up fucking psychos. Well, I'm sure there's women that are like, please do this for me. That chees off my tits, baby. Now, what if your wife was like, Joe, I would really appreciate it. I'm into this. Please, this is what I need. This is my bucket list. Would you think about it? What do you do? I think no, but I like to post questions. No, fuck out. That's crazy. Are you not to be negotiating? Like, what do I get out of this? Right.

1:56:39But I get to do if I do that or what do you do if I do that? Right. And I don't need to do that. Is there any? Yeah. Is there an answer to that? No, there's no answer that would fucking fit. I mean, that's the question, right? How much would you have to pay to eat your own jizz? Or how much would you have to get paid to eat your own jizz? Like if someone says, would you eat your own jizz? You're like, no. Would you eat your own jizz for $2 billion? Yes. 100%. Yeah. Because it wouldn't take that long. No, it's fine. It's like fear factor. Exactly. It's kind of like just squeeze your nose. Can I have a Pepsi with me?

1:57:14Anybody that says they would never eat jizz? I would never eat my own jizz. Not even for $2 billion. Not even for $2 billion. Well then you're an idiot. Because what do you like working? I do it like something you don't want to do. I do it for 800 bucks. I mean, if you, yeah, that's 800 bucks you didn't have. And how long is it going to take you? If you do it quick and just fucking put your nose to the grindstone, you could probably lick that jizz up in a minute. Sure. One minute of suffering for $800 a minute. Less than a minute. I don't feel like so. Oh, is this going to be like a glass of jizz video?

1:57:44Those fear factor. Oh. Yeah, dude, I'm literally one of the only people that got fired from a job in Hollywood because people had a drink jizz. You got to cancel free. Yeah, usually it's horse jizz in Hollywood. That's how you get a job. I got fired because people had a drink, Donkey Kong. I encouraged them. Oh my god. Guys and girls. Now would you rather eat Donkey Kong or your own come? My own. I know what I'm eating. Donkey's probably fucking filled up with antibiotics and crazy medications. Yeah. Make him grow quicker or something. Who knows the fuck they're giving those donkeys? Yeah. Santo, Corn.

1:58:20Your own come is less weird than someone else's. For sure. But then you think, oh, I mean, again, I think this is being, are we being bad people? Because most women we know and gay men we know of eating come and they're very nice people. They're good for them. Doesn't mean you have to do it. I'm not saying I have to do it. I'm not vaccinated. You should. I'm not saying we have to do it. I'm saying should we be pretending it's so not pretending, but projecting out that it's so horrible because many people do it. No, we're stating our opinion. What it is like to us. You're allowed to not want to eat your own jizz.

1:58:52Good. I just don't want to say it's gross. I don't care for you. It doesn't mean it's gross to everybody. That's a good sushi is also gross to me. Well, I was going to bring that up. There's certain types of sushi where they use semen sacks. Ooh. I've had that. Semen sacks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's certain kinds of like really there was a really high -end sushi place in LA and they had all these wacky sushi's. And one of the things they had was like it was like fish semen sacks. Oh. Sounds like a department store. Semen sacks. It does. Sounds like something that would be smashing grabbed. You see one of those Instagram videos dudes with masks on running out with purses and shit.

1:59:30Yeah. Yeah. What is it? See if you can find what that is. Shorako. I should ask Philip Franklin Lee. It's called Shorako. It's popular in Japan. Yeah, there it is. Okay, I consider myself a pretty adventurous eating. Yeah, it's just a story about eating it. I don't know if that's important. Yeah, does it say exactly what it is? Yeah, yeah. Does it describe it? Yeah. Fish sperm. Yeah. It's the milk. The milk or sperm sacks of male cod serve both raw and cooked form in restaurants all over Japan. Yeah, I had that. That's not, yeah, that's not my scene. I've had whale, had whale and deer and sushi, but never come.

2:00:07You compared whale to deer that's hilarious. Well, I'm saying those are unusual foods that don't get eaten that often. Dears pretty usual. Venice? No, not in America. What? I mean, you eat it, right? But that's not like if you go to fucking a lot of restaurants that serve really game. Yeah, Elk Tenderloin. You've never seen that on a menu at a restaurant. I'm not saying I've never seen it, but they don't have it at Burger King. They don't have it chilly. You go to the outback. They're not going to be like, do you want deer? Do you have it at Arby's? Is that right? Yeah, Arby's at a Venice and Sandwich.

2:00:36We have the meat. Right. But it's rare than a cheeseburger or steak. Yeah, that right. Didn't Arby's have a Venice and Sandwich? I'm not imagining that. This could be your dancing mustache guy. Yeah, Arby. Well, didn't they? Back. Oh, yeah. Okay. 2017 bringing back their popular crazy popular Venice and Sandwich. Yeah. I'm a big fan of steak. Hey, I could be wrong. Now they have a big game burger. They've just launched. Hey, there you go. I don't think deer wails unusual. Yeah, both were in Norway. It was reindeer. Does that make a difference? Yeah, reindeer is caribou. Okay. Yeah, it's a different animal.

2:01:14It's a different animal. It's literally what was on Santa's fucking sled. All right. Well, I had reindeer. You know, the difference between a reindeer and a caribou is? No. A reindeer is in the Jensen area. A caribou is wild. Oh, okay. Same animal. I literally thought this was going to be like a street shot. Like a kid's possible stick joke. When they call it a reindeer, it's when they're captive. Because they can domesticate them and they even ride them. That's fun. Yeah. There's this dude that I had on the podcast who won alone. Jordan Jonas. Really cool guy. You ever see a loan? No, but I know about it.

2:01:47I just heard about it. His episode was amazing. He shot a moose with a bow and arrow and then a wolverine was stealing the moose and he killed the wolverine with a hatchet. Holy shit. It's a crazy fucking show. But he had a massive advantage going into that show because he had spent time living with tribal people in Siberia. Wow. Like he had spent time with all these folks that they ride around on these caribou or reindeer, right? That's, yeah. They domesticate them. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. See if you can find some of those photos. Like Santa. They're all real life Santa. They also kill them and eat them.

2:02:23It's kind of interesting. It's like they have this very strange relationship with them. But they revere them because it's a massive part of their survival. But they've managed to domesticate a deer species, which I don't think there's other deer species that are domesticated like that. It's the point where you can ride them. This is reindeer. The only deer species to be wildly domesticated. Ah, there you go. Are there wild horses still like, do you know places this horse is just fucking running around? Yeah. Yeah. See, look at these people riding fucking caribou. No, she's crazy. Yeah. So that's a, I mean, that's not even like a bred down, you know, like a husky used to be a wolf.

2:03:00That's an actual caribou. And that's a big one. They can fucking feed them and you can ride them, which is crazy. And where is this? See, people heard them. This was in Siberia where he did it. I don't know where this is right here. Must see that area. Click on that big picture with the article below it. reindeer riders historically, semi -nomadic people in several parts of the world have domesticated reindeer. It's Mongolia. Wow. So it's in Mongolia. I know it's in Siberia. Hey, there you go. Mongolia, Siberia, northern Europe. Meeeee. Perhaps in Norway. Not wild. So this dude, he lived with those folks.

2:03:43So like, that's a hard, scrabble life. You know, so he had a massive advantage being alone. And he was good with the bow and arrow. So when he killed a moose, he had food for like six months. So that's different than this naked and afraid also. Is that similar? Yeah, that shows more exploitative. This is people with actual skills and survival. And they give them a limited number of tools. Like, this guy was allowed to have a few tools. Right. You're allowed to have one of these, one of that, one of those. And then you have to build shelter. You have to find food. You have to do all these different things.

2:04:13My friend, James Patterson, a comedian, he came up with a good show idea that I think is good. Don't say it out here so he'll steal it. You think? But it's already said we have a timestamp. Can I not say it? Because it's pretty good. I've got credit. Unless you want to go to court. I've credited him and fight those weasels. No one's going to take this. Oh, this is cool. You know, the end of the wild, you know, that book, John Crank Hour, my favorite book of Hamilton. Good book. Love Crank Hour. You ever have him on? He's a fascinating guy. I've never met him. But his books are amazing. But anyways, he, you know, Christopher McCannless, I turned out he was quite close to civilization or whatever.

2:04:50Yeah, really close. And my friend, James, had an idea that they should take people, put them where he was, and they have to have sex, consensual sex with a woman within 72 hours. So they have to get out of there. But once they're out, that's not the whole show. Then they have to shower up and hook up with a woman. God. It's pretty good. You have a survival show and a dating show combined. You know, it's funny if it was the opposite, if it was a woman and she had to have consensual sex with a man, it's a fucking home run. But that's quite easy. And that amazing. She could just get out of the woods.

2:05:25She could have the desire ability of men versus female. Yeah. Quite amazing. Is it desirability or the need to fuck? Like a man will fuck anybody. Is it because women are more desirable or is it because women need to fuck more? No, it's also women are more vulnerable because if they fuck, they might have to carry that guy's baby around with him. So genetically, they're more reluctant to breed unless they know you better, unless you're in it. Right. Good point. Yeah. But isn't that a fun show? I'm not saying it's the greatest show here. I mean, it might be fun. If you hated it, it's not my idea.

2:05:57It was my friend, James. It might be fun. What was the show Milf Manor where the ladies brought their sons and the sons banged all the other Milf's? I don't know, but I want to be part of it. I mean, that's the show. I got to talk to my agent. And that was what it was called. Was it Milf Manor or Milf Island? I remember we were watching a preview before the show actually came out. We were predicting what the fuck was going down on Milf Manor, but I never watched it. I mean, I'm about to have sex with a Milf. My wife is about to be a mother. I don't want to have sex. I haven't had sex with a mother.

2:06:31And when is she about to fall? Like three weeks from now. Wow. It's crazy. This is my last two raw. I'm out there. What going? It's all happening. You're going to love it. Yeah, I'm very excited. I think it'll be great. Yeah, you're going to love it. It's a life changer. That's for sure. Yeah, of course. Perspective enhancer. You know, it's going to be wild. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm looking forward to it. I think it'll be fun. You were, it's just going to hear. Is it a boy or a girl? It's a boy. No worries then. Yeah, it's going to be weird. I mean, I've the girls here and on me, your material about you, like not liking your balls played with.

2:07:06Yeah, I mean, all this stuff. I mean, but my son's going to hear all this. Yeah, he's going to be weird. He too dad. What the fuck are they doing down there? Good point. It is nice. But yeah, there's crazy. How many? It's weird to think of my father. If there was like 4 ,000 hours of my dad just talking about women, he's fucked and what he'd like sex. And eating come like that. And whether or not you would eat come from a million dollars. I mean, it isn't. I'd eat come for $800. I mean, how crazy the idea of you hearing your parents talk about eating come out of somebody's asshole went and you're like, what the fuck?

2:07:37Maybe in the future that won't be scary at all. I guess not, but it's, it's wacky. It is wacky. And also that your son is going to be like, this is how you made a living. And you're like, yeah, pretty good one. They might be like, wow, I don't want to work either. Do you think that it would be as easy to grow up in a loving household and be a funny comedian though? I think it's probably doable. I'm sure there are people. I mean, I feel like you know, Ted Alexander, you know, that comedian. One of the best comedians ever. He's like one of my favorite comics. And he seems to come from a very good home.

2:08:12He's talked about his parents. He's very family oriented and just a community guy. He seems very normal to me and he's hilarious. That's possible. It's possible. There's there outliers. Because I mean, you can come from a very loving and silly family. You know what I mean? Like your family was very fun and we're all together telling stories and fun and silly. But the point was what I was going to try to get to is, is there any stand up comic who had a kid that became a great stand up comic? Oh, their kid becomes a comic. Let me think. I think Greg D 'Aralo's son is doing comedy. Is it good? I've never seen him.

2:08:50I think he's very new. He's also probably gone through a lot of pain. Of course. It's a different thing. Yeah. Yeah. It was like you're carrying the mantle for your father who was a great comic. Who else is that? Is that the word carrying the mantle? Why does that sound so dumb? Right? Carrying the mantle. A thing like mantle piece. Well, you don't carry a mantle. A mantle piece is the place where you put the mantle. Yeah. So mantle, what is a mantle? Like a... A mantle. Isn't that the top? No, that's the top of the fireplace. That's the mantle piece. That's a mantle piece? Yeah. I think. I only just noticed the mantle.

2:09:25Mantle. Carried a mantle. A specific roller position along with any associated responsibilities. And then what does mantle piece mean? Google mantle piece. I think mantle piece is where you showcase your mantles.

2:09:44I don't know. What does mantle piece mean? I don't know mantle piece. Isn't mantle piece the fucking top of a chimney? You know, like a fireplace? Isn't that a mantle piece? I thought that was just mantle. Yeah, just mantle. Just Google mantle piece. I don't know. I don't even know. Right? Do you know how it's built? What are you playing dumb? Mantle piece. Yeah, so that's what it is. So a mantle piece is a structure wood, marble, or stone above around the fire. So you guys are acting like I'm crazed. But I think they just trust me and Google it next time instead of like undermining my confidence.

2:10:19I was terrified that you would be right. No, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be spelling piece the way I think to spell it. If it's two words, if it's a complicated jammy, how'd you get through it? I mean, I've just, but I think people shorten it to mantle. Is that what it is? When you were up, was it mantle? I've never heard anyone call mantle piece. I've never even heard that in my life. Well, maybe it's because I did construction a lot as a kid, but it was always mantle piece. I don't know. I never heard mantle piece either. But I'm not, you know, I'm not fighting you on it. Obviously it's the thing.

2:10:50You know, wood burning stone or wood burning fireplaces in the house. They're fucking amazing, right? Yeah, my parents have one. It's the worst contributors to pollution. One of the worst. If you're in a neighborhood and everyone has a burning fire of wood in their fucking house, it's just smoke everywhere. It's like you basically, the town has a brush fire. But I mean, it can't be worse than a 747 flying across the neighborhood. Oh, yeah, it's worse. Oh, yeah. Yeah, fours fires. You remember those fours fires in Canada? You remember how bad New York was? Yeah, that's real bad for you. Sure. Real bad.

2:11:32That's smoke. Right. Burning wood smoke. The jet is like up in the sky and it's dispersed by winds. It's not good. But you're not like getting it in the face. Right. Yeah, you're getting that smoke in your face, man. No, it's going up the fucking flute and into the sky. No, it's going up like this and then it settles down everywhere. It's like a fog in the neighborhood. That's why you smell it everywhere. It just depends on how many fireplaces you have, how many, how close the house is together. But I was, I never even thought about it until like two years ago, I was reading this article about the amount of air pollution that comes from wood burning stoves.

2:12:13And I think it was California that outlawed wood burning stoves. I don't think you could, or wood burning fireplaces rather. I don't think you could build a new house with the wood burning fireplaces anymore in California. You know, what about campfires? Those must be horrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. But campfires is like, there's one little fire and it's, you know, hopefully, you're fucking smart. You know what you're doing. It's not too windy and you know how to make it in a clearing and all that. So you don't light the fucking whole woods on fire. Right. But yeah, it's not good. You know, the real bad thing is obviously forest fires.

2:12:47Forest fires, wildfires. When those things get going like entire towns are blanketed with smoke for weeks. Yeah, it was crazy. I mean, I was in New York earlier this summer or spring. I think it was summer and it was fucking wild. You couldn't see the buildings. The weird thing was it was like an orange color. Yeah. And everybody was speculating what are they burning. That was when the tinfoil hadders were talking about like there's a bunch of chemicals that were missing from some train. You know, do you know about that story? There's some toxic chemicals that were missing like they're burning the toxic chemicals up and...

2:13:18No, I didn't, I missed. I don't get a lot of like good conspiracy theories. How come baseball talks in your head? I'm all baseball. I'm squarced as in your baseball, baby. I like to live a nice innocent life just cruising along. Good for you. Right and bits, watching sports. This guy's orange for whatever reason. Who cares? Well, because the sun is behind it. This sun and the smoke. So it makes orange. The sun is orange. I've colored. Hmm. It's a big. I've never seen that orange. What's yellow, whatever. I've never seen four as far as that orange. The sun's not yellow, it's chicken. It's white.

2:13:53It's white. What is the sun? Yeah. It's what you're getting through the blue of the sky and all the... That's what makes it look yellow. Well, whatever. That's another conspiracy theory. But that orange smoke. Show me some photos of what that looks like. The smoke that was in New York City. Because it looks crazy orange. Like almost like... Yeah, but you're burning cheetos. But the sunset is orange. So the sunsetting and you get smoke and so it becomes orangey. Maybe. But I don't think it was during sunset that this was happening. So what do you think? Like people ran down and threw chemicals in the fire?

2:14:29No. No, I think it might be just the whatever, the kind of wood that's burning. What's getting burnt. I don't know. I don't really have no idea. Right. You ever see how many fucking trees are in Canada? There's a lot of trees. There's like... That's what it looks like. Some amount of billion trees. So this is 130 p .m., 145 p .m., 2 p .m. That's unusual, dude. Yeah. That's not just the sun. That's unusual. Whatever the fuck that is, that's very unusual for it to look like that. Go to the last part of the frame, Jamie. So this is what it looks like as it blows in. 1130, 1231, 115, 130, 145. Like right there.

2:15:16Stop it, too. Yeah, that's bad. That's not normal. No. That's a dark orange at 2 p .m. So that's not like sunset. It's weird. I mean, I don't know why that smoke is orange, but it's fucking weird. So that's when the conspiracy theories come in. They're leaving. There are hundreds of thousands of gallons mixed. They're trying to poison us. Depopulation. Do you believe it? No. I don't believe it, but I don't know. I mean, I don't know if something else burnt up there. They're not telling us about. It's Canada. Yeah, you never know. You trust them? Who? Canadians? I trust the people. I like hockey.

2:15:59I like hockey, too. I like the people. People are awesome. Yeah, the best. People run in the country that are a problem. I don't really know much. I think we should build a wall. Fuck it. Let's do it. We've got a lot of wood. It's all wood up there. If it catches fire, though. It'll be like so fucking orange. Just make a ditch next to the wood so that the fire doesn't spread. It's not bad. I love Canada. I think I looked it up one time. My father and I went to said there must be two trillion trees in the world. What do you think the number is? In the whole world? Yeah. I think he went high. I believe it's less than that.

2:16:35I'm going to say 1 .7 trillion trees. It's a total guess. I think it's in the billions. I'm going to say it's like 400 billion trees. I bet it's more than that. I think I remember. But I also thought, fuck, and that lady had a mustache. What is it? 3 .04 trillion. Wow. It's more. Oh, maybe I see. I knew he was off, but really he went low. Wow. Well, maybe when he said it, it was that number. I mean, this was like three years ago. Well, this is the thing. This is the crazy thing about this whole climate change discussion. And one of the things that people conveniently like to ignore. This is one of the greenest periods in recorded history.

2:17:19When you think about it, you're going to say, well, I think we're cutting down all the trees. And there's less trees. There's less green than ever before. Right. No, carbon dioxide is food for plants. Right. And there's more plants now than there have been in the last 20 plus years. What is the, when they say the greening of earth because of climate change, Google that. What percentage more green is the earth today than 50 years ago? Is that probably because there's more rain and shit? Or what would it be? More carbon dioxide. Right. Yeah, literally it's food for them. But there's huge forest fires all these places like Greece that they didn't use to be there.

2:17:53Yeah, but that was man -made. That's the other thing they keep talking about with all this climate change stuff. Yeah, there's definitely been forest fires. But a shit ton of them are man -made. A shit ton of them are accidents. The one in Hawaii power lines fell over. It's a lot of it's bad maintenance. The Hawaii ones definitely bad maintenance. They didn't chop down the dry grass near the power lines. They also need to bury power lines. That's fucking stupid. Especially if you get places you got high winds. Burry your fucking power lines. Look what happened. And the United States should take care of that too, by the way.

2:18:25And then there's also forest management. You're supposed to go into these forests and take out all the dead wood. Control bonds and all that shit. Yeah, but they have to take it out. They remove it. And it's valuable. They can do stuff with that wood. Right. So they need to log the dead wood out of the forest. And they need... They were talking about that during the Trump administration. He was blaming some of the fires they were having in California on poor management of the forests. And then I was like, that sounds like a ridiculous thing. And then I talked to a guy who actually works with wildlife biology.

2:19:03And he's like, it's really critical to do. Right. That's why they do control burns. That's why they do get rid of dead wood. Like if you don't do it. And then you have something comes in like at the bark beetle. And it kills like a giant percentage of the trees. Carbon dioxide fertilization, greening earth, so that study finds. From a quarter to half of earth's vegetated lands have showed significant greening over the last 35 years, largely due to the rising levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide. According to a new study published in the Journal of Nature Climate Change in April of 25th. An international team of 32 offers in 24 institutions in eight countries led the effort which involved using satellite data from NASA's modern, moderate resolution, imagery, and spectometer.

2:19:49Oh, that sounds cool. And the National Oceanic and Atmosphere Administration's advanced very high resolution radiometer instruments to help determine the leaf area index or amount of leaf cover over the planet's vegetated regions. The greening represents an increase in leaves on plants and trees equivalent in an area to two times the continental United States. Great. Yeah. They don't say that because they say that the people go, well boy, this is not butter. This is not good. Shut up. Climate change is bad and you need to go electric. Are you not scared of climate change and all the high temperatures and all that shit, storms and the fires and all that business?

2:20:32I'm always concerned about whether because it's unpredictable. Right. And the thing about climate change is there's for sure humans are affecting it. To deny that seems crazy. We're fucking burning fossil fuels. But also it's never been stable like ever in history. Right. The history of the earth has always done this crazy shit. And there's been massive ice ages where we weren't burning nothing. And then there's been like the dinosaur times where it was way fucking hotter. And there's been times on earth where there was no ice in the polar caps. And there's been times on earth where there's way more and half of North America was covered over a mile of ice.

2:21:10Right. So it'll be all right. I'm scared of ice ages, dude. No, we'll be fine. Yeah. Maybe. But that's the thing to be scared of. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I hear a lot more concern scientists about, you know, heat. Yeah. Right, because that's the subject to sure. That's the thing you worry about more than terrorism. Right, but this isn't. I'm not talking like NBC. I'm talking like NASA fucking Stephen Hawking. I know he's dead, but you know, I don't think he was on the climate change thing. He was paying attention much more to the whole universe. But he was worried about it. I think I heard a mention it somewhere.

2:21:51Well, it is. But you know, I mean, the return. Look, if the earth gets warmer, it is a concern. But if the earth gets cooler, that's a concern too. Sure. It's just like life on earth is like insanely unpredictable, you know? And they definitely need to figure out what kind of an effect we're having on it. But they need to be like completely honest about what they know and what the data shows and what the problem is and how to fix it. Right. For sure, the problem is a pollution problem. For sure. Like the fact that we ignore what we're doing with the ocean is crazy. Yeah, that's what I always thought.

2:22:24It's like, even if you're like not concerned with climate change, like, well, aren't you interested in making the air cleaner and the water? I mean, shouldn't we have a cleaner place to live? 100%. That should be everybody's concerned, like to eliminate pollution. But yeah, my buddy lives in Seattle. And at one point, they have this huge park. I have many huge parks there. But there was one park in particular, Lincoln Park. And they were going to cut down like 80 trees and all these environmental people were going crazy and they'll like stop it and they were chaining themselves. And they were like, no, no, where forest people?

2:23:00We need to get rid of these for whatever reason that's beyond me. But they were like, there's 7 ,000 trees in this park. We're getting rid of 80 because they're whatever problematic. I don't know those signs behind it. They're like, we're not building a park in lot. We're not just chopping down and building a skyscraper. Like we know what we're doing. We know these idiots are gluing their hands to monkey bars. Although guys in the US open, they glued his feet. Did you see that guy? You see the guy who did it on a Formula One track? No. They glued his hand to the ground to the track to stop the race.

2:23:29And they just ripped his hand off the fucking concrete. They couldn't do it. And then this guy just grabs him and rips his hand off. And you see the guy like, oh, it's like a homalone. You see it in the trick? No, I haven't seen it. But it's like we were talking about earlier. It is people that think they're doing the right thing. But they're really just losing people from the cause. Because you're like, well, why are you interrupting my fucking tennis match? You make me want to go spray, fucking hair to let my car run all night. Well, they're just people that this is their quest. You know, this is the thing that gives them value.

2:23:59This is the thing that makes them feel like they're useful in the world. Right. To run out onto the tennis court and stop the match. Because we've got a climate change. Yeah. They're just crazy people, man. And they're co -opted by this movement. It was also funny because the US open is like 80 % of people take the seven train there. It's actually quite a green event. Yeah. And all the people that are green active is flew there in a private jet. Right. Right. It's all bonkers. But they think they're helping. Yeah, they ask Bill Gates about that. I think the overall good that I do is okay that I drive a private jet.

2:24:37The overall good that I do for climate change. You're very good at impressions and voices. You don't get enough credit. Baaah. I got you had a good Trump earlier. You did some other British voice. They're just half decent. I can only do a few voices legitimately. I don't have a good range. I can do Yoda. You know, I hope you like that. Whoa. I can do that one. Holy shit. You're just sitting on this talent. Yeah, that one's easy. And Miss Pig. If you can do Yoda, you can do Miss Piggy. Yeah. Frank Oz. Picking. Picking. It's very impressive. You got a Chubaka. Chubaka. I mean, this is unbelievable.

2:25:15This is... Chubaka is an easy one, though.

2:25:21Chubaka was the most preposterous creature in all of Star Wars. Because here you got this giant monkey thing with fur covering over his dick. Like, why is he... No furry thing has fur covering its dick. But he conveniently is dickless. Also, he's got no pants on. And he's got the hairiest ass of all time. Like, how does he shit? And how does he wash it off? And how does he take that bear ass and sit down the cockpit? It's a good point. He should have a pair of shorts. He should have a diaper on. Like, well, he can't even talk. What is he? He's a wookie. He's a wookie, right? He's a big wookie.

2:25:57Where's his shit? Where are they storing it? Does he use the regular bathroom on the fucking... Well, it's a 90 -minute movie. You can't have a shit dick. Well, yeah, I want answers, though. What if you're sitting on that fucking same seat that Chubaka was just on with his crusty ass? I wouldn't like that. My buddy just had another... My friend Matt Wayne, who I mentioned earlier, had another point. He has like bullets across his chest. Like, he's got... A bandalier. He's got like shotgun shells. Why does he have a gun? It's a bandalier. So it's a thing that contains cartridges. If you look at the bandalier, the cartridges for his rifle.

2:26:30But it's... It's a laser rifle. They're all shooting lasers. Yeah, but... No one else has cartridges. It probably has power for the... It's a good point. Yeah, no one else has that. But they have pistols, and doesn't he have a rifle? They have pistols, but they're like... Yeah, he has a rifle. So those things are cartridges. They look like cartridges to me. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. They're different. So that one on your right, Jamie, that looks like a costume that he buys. That looks fake. What is that? Yeah, maybe... Yeah, maybe where's different stuff in different movies? Yeah, maybe it doesn't look like...

2:27:04That would... That would look like to me. The flat things is what it looks like to me. Yeah. Maybe it's a bad point. He's got a crossbow? That's what it did. No, this is too modern. That's not Chewbacca. Maybe he's got a must - That looks like AI stuff. Yes, it does. That looks like AI stuff. Did he have a kind of a crossbow? Now I'm thinking he kind of did. No, I never crossbow. I think he kind of did. I think he got a crossbow that like shot lasers. Get the hell out of here. He didn't have a crossbow. Yeah, no, I think he did. Yeah. A bocaster. What? A bocaster. Yeah. So it didn't pull back like a bow, but there was like something...

2:27:36Like he didn't have to like reload it with every shot. But I think, what did it do? Yeah. See, he had a fucking crossbow? No, none of these are the little things. Here is the original. Yes, it is. Look, he's in like Michigan right there. This house is back there. There are ice fishing. How important. That's the toy that Lincoln looked like. Yeah, that's the... There are ice fishing. There you go. Over here. A bocaster combines traditional craftsmanship with galactic technology. Oh, see? Fire and metal quarrel enclaiced in plasma energy. Yeah. It does say it appears in Star Wars 4. So that's why he's got those things around his waist or his shoulders right there.

2:28:09It's all been thought through. Oh. Oh. Yeah. What a... The first movie's man we're fucking to meet. When I was a kid, when Star Wars came out, I think we saw like 13 times. It was a thing with me and my friends. How many times can you see Star Wars? It was to rape up some money. Go see Star Wars. The return of the Jedi is really silly. Oh, remember. The Wookie's like beat the fucking Imperial Army with rocks and stuff. They're like throwing sticks at them. The Ewoks? Yeah, the Ewoks. The The Cute Wookie's. Yeah, it was really silly. They're like rolling logs in the fucking... They're all Emperor, whatever the fucking club.

2:28:50Did you like Avatar? I hated Avatar. Really? Yeah. At this time it was so heavy -handed and I'm not a big cartoony... Whoooow! Purple things. Blue people. Blue people and it just felt very like we're fighting the war for the thing under the ground. Yeah. You know, I was against Iraq War but it felt so like... Loo. Yeah. The war. I loved it. Me too. I'm like, what do you like? I like... No, I mean... I know that but this is the suspension of disbelief and it's comic book movie essentially. Yeah, I'm just not... That's not my scene. I love comic book movies. I love like the Avengers and the Hulk and Spider -Man and all that stuff.

2:29:33They're fun. But I grew up as a kid reading comic books. Right. When they became legitimate... Like when I was a kid I was really into comic books and the only thing you'd get was like the Spider -Man cartoon on TV. There was no like real... There was the incredible Hulk when it became a TV show later. But there was nothing like the Avengers. There's not like these movies. There was only Superman. And Superman to me was like DC Comics and DC Comics were like back before, you know, there was a typewriter. There was something about the superheroes they just didn't appeal to me. They were more like 1950s superheroes.

2:30:10Whereas the Marvel comics to me were like way more complex, like Phoenix from the X -Men. Like she was basically a god. And there was just... There was like so many inch... Like Dr. Doom and fucking Dr. Strange, the Silver Surfer. They were cool. Yeah. They were different kinds of superheroes. I get it. You know what I mean? Yeah, you were a gay kid. That's cool. That's cool. You changed and you evolved. No, I just never... I like Christopher Nolan Batman's. Oh yeah, that's true. Those were fun. Those were good. Those are good. Those are good. Who's your favorite Batman? Who's the best Batman?

2:30:50I really like Christian Bale. I mean, I love Keatonite. I mean, I grew up with Keaton that was exciting. But Christian Bale, I really... He's the most believable Batman. Yeah, he's just a world class actor. And I liked his fucking Batman voice. He's Batman voice. But he's also jacked. He was the first Batman to be jacked. Yeah, no, he's great. And those fucking movies were... I was just talking about that. I just rewatched Dark Knight on the plane. And his ledger is like unrecognizable in that movie. And he's so good that he actually feels like... Because you can't see any Heath Ledger in him.

2:31:19Yeah. It feels like that's a fucking weird entity thing. Yeah. Like the Tim Burton one. You're like, oh, there's Jack Nicholson with makeup on. Right. The Heath Ledger one, it feels like a fucking weird guy. Walking Phoenix is a scariest one. Because that one is the most realistic. The most probable. Yeah, it's... And the weird thing is, like, when that movie came out, it was before society fell apart. And then that movie showed, like, this ultimate collapse of society, the rebellion of the underclass, taking things down, and burning to the ground, is one fucking maniac leading the charge. Very antifa.

2:31:56Right. And then all that stuff started happening during the George Floyd riots. And the chaos in the streets, and when bricks would just show up on the corner of streets, and people would be throwing them through windows and the cops would stand by when people were looting, things we'd never seen in our life. It was very Joker -esque. And that, dude, was an amazing Joker. He looked fucking insane in that movie. Well, he's another just fucking incredible actor. But there's like three jokers now right now. There's like the Joaquin Joker, and then there's Jared Leto. Jared Leto. And then there's the new one.

2:32:27For the new one? The Batman. The last scene. Who's the new Joker? That actor who's great, he's in killing of a sacred deer. Which fucking rules. Yeah, the wrong. I mean, that's the most complex character. Is the, he's leathered. He fled your Joker and the Joaquin Joker. Those are the, I mean, those are wild. Who's that guy? What's his name? He's fantastic. Can we see this? I haven't seen this. It's a deleted scene. It says. Watch your perspective.

2:33:02Who's the Batman here? Robert Patton. Oh, that's right. Why are you using that house on cheap? I thought you'd be curious. You think I got off of this stuff? Don't you? It's a long scene. They barely show his face. I think they're saving him for the second movie. Oh, interesting. Because they just teased it at the end of the first one. Oh, interesting. Oh, that's fun. It looks good. I like it. What's that actor's name? I will look up. He's really good. Do you ever get in those Yorgos movies killing off a sacred deer? No. Oh, you got to check it out. He's a Greek filmmaker. I don't know how to say his last name.

2:33:47Yorgos. So I have to read. You're going to make me read? No, no. I mean, he has a movie called Dogtooth that's amazing. And that is in Greek. You have to read that one. But killing off a sacred deer is Nicole Kidman and Colin Farrell. What is this? It's fucking great. Really? Like 2015, 2016 maybe? I heard of it. I'm going to write it down so I watch it. I'm watching the movie. Oh, you would love it. It's a real, at least just overstone is in it. Killing off a sacred deer. Yeah, it's really fucked up. There's some kind of funny. Yeah, that's the kid who's also the Joker. I think his name's Barry Keegan.

2:34:21I just saw it for a second. He's really good. But it's a really fucked up disturbing movie. This guy Yorgos makes these really disturbing movies. That's amazing. I've never even heard of it. Oh, it's awesome. Yeah, highly recommend. That's a fun poster. Yeah, check it out. I don't know how to say his name. Land Theemos. He's got a new movie coming out with Emma Stone. That's awesome. You're a real movie buff, huh? I mean, I'm a lover of movies. I don't know. I don't know if I'm a buff. Do you find yourself wanting to create your own? Yeah, I mean, I did the movie with Louis. Right, but I mean, like, from scratch?

2:34:55Yeah, definitely. I want to do more. I'm making a documentary right now about a comedian named Tom Dust in a buddy of mine that we're almost finished with. In fact, I didn't want to ask. I asked Jamie earlier. There's like a four -second clip. He runs a club in Key West. I think Ari talked about it here. And we have a clip from this show that's like four seconds. It's literally just you saying. Is there a club in Key West? And Ari's like, yeah, there's a small club. Yeah, I know Tom Rhodes worked there. He was following him on Instagram. And I saw he was at Key West. I was like, oh, that looks like a fun place to go, too.

2:35:25Yeah, it's fucking great. And my buddy, Tom Dust, and we started together in Boston and we were drunk and wild. And I kind of got sober and went to New York. And then he kept drinking and went to Key West. And it's kind of the story of our little paths. And he's just a hilarious, amazing comedian. And he owns the club? He co -owns the club and runs it. He emcees and books it. And he's living the Key West life. And he's a fascinating guy. He's fucking hilarious. There's a bunch of stand -up in it and great stories. How often do they have to evacuate? I don't think that often. Really? No, I don't think they've evacuated in a long time.

2:36:01Are hurricanes don't get them? They do, but not that often. Every few years, I think. I think they just wait out the storms. They have weird rules. They can't build high rises there and all that shit. Can they make hurricane proof houses? One of them is every six years. There you go. There you go. It's been a while. Can you show me the clip? Let's move one with that. Show me the clip from this documentary. I haven't done it. I don't have it. Yeah, shit. It's on your phone. Yeah, send it to Jamie. You can't engage and drop it to me. Is it a link? Let me see. Oh, God. I should have done this before.

2:36:34Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It takes too long. We'll just edit it. I fucked up. Don't sweat it at all. Let me see if I can find it. While you're doing this, let me just tell you how much fun it's been having you in town. Oh, man. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. It's cool. One of the cool things about comedy mothership is when people come through and hang out for a few days. And just like every week, you know, and these comics that are coming up, they all get exposed to all these brilliant like Colin was just here and all the, I didn't get a chance to see him. I was too busy. But all the comics we're here was just raving about how great he was and how much fun it was.

2:37:11Yeah. It said it was a masterclass. He said he's just brilliant on stage. Well, Colin's the fucking best. He's so underrated. It's like him and a tell are so brilliant, but yet do not promote themselves at all. Yeah, I think he's getting better at it. But yeah, he's truly a genius. And that's a guy that's just always giving and always so thoughtful, always takes calls from comics. Colin, Colin, he's a sweetheart. He's always been a sweetheart. You know, in that show that he did, Tough Crowd was really essentially one of, that was one of the beginnings of podcasting as well. There's a few beginnings of podcasting like the way we do it.

2:37:49You do it. I do it. And you know, like all of our friends, you know, whether it's Legion of Skanks or RE or it's just shit talking. Guys getting together and fucking around and hanging out. And that was what Tough Crowd was. Yeah. You got a bunch of comics together and they would all start fucking with each other and roasting and patries and Norton. It was awesome. I loved it. I did it a couple of times. But every time I did it, I was like, God, I love this. It's like a fucking amazing green room where there's cameras on you and you're all just hanging out. Yeah. Colin really loves comics in the comic hang more than anybody.

2:38:22I mean, he just is he's pure. And they really love him. This is the thing like nobody hates Colin. No. Have you ever heard anybody say a bad thing about Colin Quinn? I literally have not. Never, never, never. But he's underrated. And I think when someone's that underrated, it's up to us to say, if you have a chance, go see that guy. Again, I've seen him in the past. He's fucking brilliant. I haven't seen this new set that he's doing, but everybody that was at the club was like universally ramped. My friend, a song. He made a song last time. Yeah, yeah. He's hilarious. And he's a guy that's been beautiful watching him grow.

2:38:58Because I met him when he was just starting out at the comedy store. And then all of a sudden he's in LA and it also needs, you know, working getting up in LA and then he moves to Austin. And now he's getting up multiple times a night. Like he's constantly getting up because there's shows everywhere. There's shows all over the place out here. Yeah. It's so, it's, it's amazing watching people grow. And he said that when he saw Colin, he said it might be one of the best hours of his life. Yeah, no, Colin just keeps getting better. It's really unbelievable. I just did a, I'm going to throw another plug out there.

2:39:28I have a podcast, Mindful Metal Jacket. I just had him on it. And I was asked him like, he's gotten so much more. What is your podcast called? It's called Mindful Metal Jacket. Oh. And it's a, you know, I'm bad at naming things. No, it's a good name. But I just had him on and we just talked about how, what a creative outburst he's had in the last 10, 15 years. What is your true to it too? He just said he started organizing better, like really organizing his stuff and working towards having like, all right, this special is going to be about this thing and just organizing his material. Well, he does kind of one man show type specials, but with brilliant standup.

2:40:03Yeah. Like it's like really funny bits that are all organized on themes. Yeah. No, he's just a brilliant guy and just the best guy off stage. Just super nice guy. And, but that's the thing. It's like, it doesn't have any desire to be any bigger. No, I don't think so. All he's doing is just working on great work. But that's also why his work is so great is because he's just concentrating on that, which I think is awesome. That's like the most important part. I can't figure out. Hey. Don't worry about it. I was so excited to shoot you. Send it to me later and I'll throw it up on Instagram. Okay.

2:40:38Yeah, it's going to be great though. All right, Joe Liss, you're the shit. Appreciate you. Thank you. Can I throw my specials out there? Yes please. Also brand new special enough for everybody. It's on YouTube. And I got fucking demonetized for saying, cunt. Let's fucking go. All right. Social media, all that stuff. What is it? At Joe Liss comedy and then you two, I got three specials on YouTube. Three hours and three and a half years. And go see him live. Very, very funny. Where are you going to be live next? Um, Skank Fes. I'm at Skank Fes. I'm flying straight to Skank Fes. Now I live with my bags with me.

2:41:07And then next weekend, helium, October 5th of the 7th and Philadelphia. Oh, that's a great room. Yeah. That's one of my favorite rooms of all time. Yeah, I'm pumped. I love the city. I love the room. And it's mostly sold. You know what's a great, yeah, get in there. You know what else is a great room? Portland. Portland, yeah, I was just there. Oh, it's great. Great. It's probably real good now. It's like doing stand up in a war zone. It's fucking weird. I went with a buddy who's from Portland. He took me to like the neighborhoods that are still normal. Because we're like losing that city. It's bad.

2:41:34It's crazy. All right. Thank you, Joe. Thank you. Bye, everybody.