#2089 - Joey Diaz

24:02I mean, he might be the greatest martial artist of all time. He's certainly in the argument. The arguments for the greatest martial arts of all time, if they're in their prime. I would say this guy because people leave him out of the conversation you never should. BJ Penn. BJ Penn in his prime was one of the greatest of ever seen. And then there's Anderson. Anderson in this prime. I was just watching the Anderson documentary that the UFC just put together. Holy shit, man. You forget. You forget those rich Franklin fights. I never forgot. You forget. You forget the level of expertise and precision and just mastery he had when he was in his prime.

24:44I am telling you, I'm guilty. Even though I'm a giant Anderson fan, I had to see it again. I had to see it again. I'm like, oh, yeah, people forgot. Well, we had a conversation. I have to assign your fight. You're like, how does it sound? It was the best. I go, remember I said to you, bro. Yeah. No, you're right. It's Anderson. And I love the rich Franklin fight. I mean, the first time I ever saw this motherfucker, I'm about, I'm getting dressed. I'm getting dressed. Where do you go to? To Connolly with you or anybody else. And it was a UFC fight night. Him against Chris Levin. I never saw this fucking guy.

25:16Are you guys talking about him? Yeah. And when he came out, it was fucking mastery. I was like blowing, then he played the ukulele. I'll never forget that. Well, I was a giant fan of Anderson's already. Because I became a fan of Anderson's in pride. And then Anderson went over to Cage Warriors. And when he went over to, was he Cage Rage? What was the organization that he fought for? That Anderson fought for in England? But in England, he became Anderson Silva. There's like Charles Olivera. Charles Olivera was a really good fighter. And then his daughter was born. And then he became Charles Olivera, the assassin that everybody knows.

25:57But he lost a bunch of times in the years. Yeah, we went to the end. He just, he would fall apart. Anderson, when he went to England, there's something about Levin, Japan, going to England, then he became Anderson. So what was the Cage Rage? Right. Cage Warriors is the, that's like the top organization that exists now in the UK. So he fights Lee Murray in Cage Rage. And Lee Murray was a fucking killer. Lee Murray was the guy who was involved in the biggest armed robbery in the history of the UK. He's in jail now. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in jail. He's in jail gangster. Crazy dude. So he fucks Lee Murray up in Cage Rage.

26:38And then he comes back and fucks Jorge Rivera up in Cage Rage. And when he fucked Jorge Rivera up, he's standing in front of Jorge, who was a murderous puncher and letting Jorge punch him in the face. He was just letting him punch him in the face. It's just like, but you ain't got shit. And then beat his ass. Then he goes over and fights Tony Frickland in Cage Rage and hits him with that crazy upward elbow. Did you ever see that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he fucks Kurt Astout, fucked him up, fucked Tony Frickland up. And then by the time he was coming to the UFC, I was like, dude, get ready for this guy.

27:11And I was looking at the line, like the betting line, the betting lines back then were stealing. Nobody knew nothing. Nobody knew nothing. A guy would sneak over, a guy like Glover to share or someone would come over from Brazil. And you'd be like, you don't know and even knows yet. You don't even know how good this guy is. Like, you know, the line would be like in favor of the other guy. Like, oh my god, this is hilarious. I think Chris Leibin might have been a slight favorite over Anderson. I don't even know what the betting line was. I don't think he was a favorite. I think Anderson was a favorite.

27:43But either way, I was like, dude, he's going to light him up like a Christmas tree. Because Chris Leibin was just such a murderous, marauding attacking style. That's perfect for Anderson. Because Anderson is the technician. So he's just going to slide away. Pop, pop, pop. That's what he did. He basically just stepped away, punched. It's a masterclass. Put that fight on. Put Anderson silver versus Chris Leibin. The fucking fight you took me to a rich Franklin in Columbus. Oh, yeah. When the Arnold thing was going on, you were in Columbus. Yeah. That last array when he boom, boom, then he hit some low with a leg kick and then he punches him again.

28:18Another leg kick. It's fucking beautiful. I was like, what the fuck? That's how you mix it. The fuck up. And he did it like he was just playing. He did it like he was hitting any bag just fucking around. What about the man we took to hit acid? And that's why he decided to kick that dude in the face. Yeah, this is the one. Yeah. So this is Anderson's debut. And by the way, Chris Leibin, one of the most murderous punchers knocked out Vandale Silva, knocked out a shit ton of dudes. When Chris Leibin would connect on guys, they would go night night. And he fought like a fucking Wolverine man. Chris Leibin would just charge at you.

28:55So like that style with that kind of confidence is per... Look at how he had his moves in, baby. Look at that. Look at that jab. Look at that jab. Shucks him off to the side. I mean, the footwork bro. Look how elegant. Just no wasted movement. And Leibin just moving in for the kill. Pink. Uh -oh. Give me that volume. Sounds better real quick. Oh, there it is. It's already beginning. Pink, pink, pink. Yep. I mean, Leibin can't even land a shot on him.

29:36Leibin got back up. Oh, he's not tough, dude. Tough as nails. And there's the knee. And that's a wrap, son.

29:46That's what I was talking about. This is a different kind of striker. And it's the Silva. That was the big debut. That was like 2004. Six. I was sick. Fuck it. Hypnotized by that. Hypnotized. He was the man. Hypnotized. I was like, what the fuck? He was the man. Because I had watched Listen, bro. I watched the UFC with you. There was a bunch of chubby guys that looked like me. I don't want no part of that stuff. You took me to Florida one time to see Miami when there was like maybe 15 people in the audience. Shack was there. Do you remember that? It was a long time ago. Yeah, that was the early days.

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32:37They get the work done without wasting your time or money. So relax and let Zippercruder speed up your hiring. See for yourself. Just go to zippercruder .com slash Rogan to try it right now for free. That's the same price as a genuine smile from a stranger. A picture perfect sunset or a cute dog running up to you and licking your hand. Again, that's zippercruder .com slash Rogan. Zippercruder the smartest way to hire. That was 2004. Because that was around the time of the match. And it was Butterbeen. Was one of the fighters on that card? No, Butterbeen never fought in the US. Who was the chubby guy that fought on that card?

33:18There was somebody who was on that card that was like... Traiteligment? No, no. Scott Faroza was really big. Traiteligment was a guy I was missing. What's the fact that there was the two guys that V -Tor fought in his debut. But that was really, that was 97. That was Shaq was there. I mean, he was already in Miami and I was like, I'm like, man, I don't know about the UFC that I need. Yeah, Shaq trained martial arts a long time ago. He started training a long time ago. But I didn't know he was from Newark. And I didn't know all the good things he did from Newark. That's a bad motherfucker. He's a good man.

33:51I've gotten all new level of respect for what I heard he's done in Newark. Oh, yeah? One of my friends is a Newark cop. A couple of them. They were telling me, bro, it never ends. Oh, that's great. Yeah, he gave a lot back to this fucking community. He's very smart. I mean, he's got a shit ton of businesses. He owns a bunch of businesses. He's always got something going on, you know? He stays active, you know? There's a bunch of guys that do a real good job of like using whatever fame they got from athletics. And then just like do everything after. Shaq does everything. He's always doing commercials.

34:25He's always doing something. You know? That's a big human being, dude. He put your hands like you shake his hands. That's a big dude. He's so big. His hands are like a fucking breakfast tray. I never said none of my men ever spoke to him. I saw him at the store a couple nights. He would come to the store after the games for a fat Tuesday. Mm -hmm. But I never really spoke to him or anything. I just spoke to him. I did fear factor with him. Well, that's right. Yeah. Me and him was hilarious. It was like a six -year -old and his dad. That was like me standing next to him. He's so big. He's so gigantic.

35:04So what else has happened to my brother? Everything's good, man. You know they have those binders by me, right? You know? The rest of the month. They have arugos in the city. They have a beautiful one in a freehold. Yeah. And the fucking place has a restaurant to die for. Really? Yeah, like a Russian? Yeah, you can stay there all fucking day. A Russian restaurant? I think it's everything. Oh, okay. It's everything. You get beat up with the leaps, the steam, the fucking cold plunge. They got a pool, they massage here. They have lunch. You can just go there and write. You just want to write jokes.

35:38You go up there to have a cafe in there. It's really fucking sharp. That's smart. I just, not in the mood to get beat up with fucking leaps at this point in my life. Yeah. When I used to go to the YMCA in Hollywood, the good one. There were Russians in there in the mornings with the hoods on. Uh -huh. They wear the hoods to keep the head in and then have the vodka there. Yeah. I did this because I used to, I was so heavy, I was embarrassed to go any other time of the day. So I would go at 4 .45. Mm -hmm. And I would sit in the fucking barn, you with them, whatever the steam bat. And then I would go on the other one, the sauna, the steam bat, and then I would swim.

36:14And I just swam more and more every day. This went on for about six months. One day I get there about 5 a .m. I open up the fucking door. And there's a dude completely balls ass naked. Nuh -nuh. Laying with a Russian sit, okay? Balls ass naked. Just on a fucking towel. Dic out, didn't give a Frenchman fuck. I sat there for about five minutes and all I kept thinking was, these Russians ain't gonna like it when they come in here. Sure enough, the fucking three Russians came in. They asked the guy to move. The dude didn't fucking move and it was not good after that. Right in the YMCA. They did his ass.

36:51They fucking choked them and threw them out naked. They picked them up by his fucking neck right in front of him. I just kept walking. I don't want to know. But, dog, I can't be around that shit. I'll go to jail for 20 years. Joe, they grabbed them by the fucking throat. They asked them one time. Can we sit here? Then he let them sit, but he wouldn't put it out. That's what it was. The guy had probably come from the fucking freaky spot. I was trying to get his dicks up there now. And I walked out and all I heard was a couple of prompts. And then I saw this sauna door open and a homey way of flying out.

37:23Like, what are those fucking brackets? Eddie Bravo and I used to work out at 24 hour fitness and one of the managers, they just brought him over from the West Hollywood place. And he was giving me the war report from working in West Hollywood. He's like, it's basically a gay pickup spot. That's all it is. The 24 hour fitness on Santa Monica next to the... I don't even know if it's there anymore. Oh, that'll be there forever. But is it there? Yeah, back in the day. Back in the day when Eddie and I were working out together. This is like 2001, 2002. This manager was like, dude, it's crazy. He goes, this just jizz all over the sauna.

38:02You go in the sauna, you got to hose it down. This just loads everywhere. These guys are just fucking each other everywhere. They find places to fuck. And they would go there to look for other buff guys to fuck. I mean, and imagine the problem with guys is there's no women. There's no one to go, hey, this is ridiculous. I don't want to get pregnant. What have you been up to? You know, are we going to use protection? There's no voice of reason. It's just two guy you want to fuck. I want to fuck this fuck. And they're all jacked up, right? So they're probably doing testosterone. They're lifting a lot of weights.

38:35And they've got high testosterone. They're horny all the time. They're taking drugs. And they just fucking each other with the gym. He said the gym was barely a gym. He goes, it's so weird to come here and it's a gym. He goes, that gym was just a front for a gay pickup spot. These guys were just, I'm sure they were working out too, but they were just banging. They were doing a lot of banging. Listen, bro, when you go through Boyz Town. Oh, yeah. I think you had a bit of a, yeah, yeah. Before we left that light. People have to understand that when you go through Boyz Town, you have one at the end by the time you hit Dentanis and you're about to hit.

39:09You have two things on your mind. Either I love gay people. I can't stand these motherfuckers. This is your out of control. And with my world, I love these motherfuckers. The best being, this just happened like six, seven years ago, six, five, before the pandemic. We're driving on Santa Monica. Me and my wife were going to eat at fucking Dentanis. We got an early reservation, right? Fucking, we had a light. There's a bar on the right hand side. UFC is on. Two guys are fighting, but meanwhile, there's a hundred guys with leather dancing to the UFC. And me and my wife just look at each other and go, yeah, God bless them.

39:50Yeah, God bless. That's what it is about Boyz Town. They got the run of it. Well, they also don't have to pretend, right? They don't have to pretend they want something other than what they want. Whereas like, there's a lot of men that they feel like to pick up women in a bar, they have to pretend to be something different. They're to act a little different. They have to play to what the lady likes. Well, these guys just fucking, they just fuck. They just fuck. Listen, Christie Miller. Remember Christie Miller from New York? He's new here. Christie Miller. Yeah, she's been in New York. And before Christie Miller moved to New York, she was working at Goals.

40:29Ivar, maybe town. Oh, okay. You remember that? Yeah. It's not the gay spot. Cremendous gay spot. So she, but here's the fucking deal. I was 426 pounds. Right? And Christie out of the love of her heart goes, take this membership for free. Don't go at night. You know, don't go at night. I like this wear wolves. And they'll fucking take care of you. And then I'm like, really? I tell you, I went in there maybe for three or four months before I signed up at the Y. Because the Y told me you're too fat. We can't have you. Really? The first time I went to the Y. The Y told you you're too fat to work out?

41:05When I went to the Y the first time, I signed up for a consultant thing, like somebody for free to help with you. I didn't want to come to you guys. I was too embarrassed. I thought I was going to die. I got out of the fucking treadmill. I didn't even make 30 seconds on level two. Mm. And he goes, listen, this, you got to go out and walk. He goes, come back here when you lose 50 pounds. He goes, right now you got to walk. And he goes, do you ever walk? Right. And I was like, yeah, you know, to the store, to the drug dealers. I just, to the comedy store, you know. Yeah, you know, but no. And he goes, just walk.

41:41He goes, I want you to do a dolce. It does with the tap the mailboxes. Go for a walk and tap two mailboxes one day and then three to neck. Well, as far as you go. Yeah. So Christie gave me that thing. And I would go over there at night. I knew little things, you know, from lifting as a kid. But every time I was struggling over there, some fucking hot guy came over. And he would always go, excuse me. Can I help you out? And he would talk to me. And yeah, maybe they wanted to fuck me. But I doubt it. I was 418 pounds. Yeah. You had a fucking, get a fucking crowbar to get to my asshole at that point.

42:14So I mean, these guys were fucking dying on my dry. I would love to sit in tight that they hit on me not one time. In fact, they were very helpful. Would they hit on me? They were setting me up, you know, their wolves. Don't ever think. And that's what shocked us. My friend told me about that website. He used to go on, boys are hoi. That was just gay men, right? See, it's still around. Boys are hoi. Boys are hoi. What a great day for a website. Okay, now he had belonged to other ones, Grindr. You know, he's a gay dude. He told me all this shit. He said when he signed up for boys are hoi, it was a complete different situation.

42:52They just want to fuck. Yeah, they just want to fuck. There's no female equivalent. No, there's no way. They met at, he would meet them at the hot dog place. I blew block from the store. The carnies, oh carnies, oh carnies. They would take them to the standard, fuck them. And then he come to the commy store. It's nine o 'clock. And they go that way, you go your way. Boys are hoi, gay chat and friend, apps on Google Play.

43:20Good for them. Yeah, good for them. And you got to fucking go. Wow, when those guys get old, it gets rough. It gets rough. I don't know. Yeah, a lot of them guys when they get old, it gets rough. Dog, I just went to Jingle Bell to see my man, Jelly. Okay, Jingle Bells. Jingle Bells. Jingle Bells is a big thing they do. The Z100, they do a thing in New York and Madison Square Garden. I never went to it, but I got a daughter now. And you get talked them to those stupid shit. And I don't want my kid going into the city by myself, with my wife, okay? She don't know the mechanisms of it. So I went with like, you know, nine kids from the neighborhood.

43:56Jelly hooked us up. Me, three moms and like the rest were just kids. Girls and one boy. And I took them to go see fucking Jelly, Olivia Rodrigo. But she was that okay? She was doing other parents. I get there, everybody's cool, but there's two old school gay dudes. They're probably in their 60s and they're those old school New York geese's gay guys. They were gay when it was tough to be gay. You know what I'm saying? Like they've been in New York all their lives. They started at CBGB's or the meat market or whatever fucking gay want and not immature. They were married before the law. Yeah, talking.

44:40These motherfuckers were miserable. They just sat there and every once in a while they would look at each other and look at the kids and go. The whole fucking night. I'm like, why are these fucking guys here? Meanwhile, I got a girl and a little boy, a Jewish kid jumping up and down, singing into the phone, the whole fucking thing. I'm like, look at this fucking Jewish kid. His brother's fighting over there in Israel. He's over here watching this fucking thing, jumping up and down like a half a fucking bag. Now the two gay guys haven't said a word. They just keep looking around, hating, hating everybody.

45:13Dog when they said, share coming up to the stage, these motherfuckers fucked it out of their capes and they got up and they were dancing like the kids. You shouldn't see them. They had to be in their 67, 68. They both had their hair. They were fucking dead. They were hugging each other, take me home. Whatever that song she fucking sings. When share walked out, these motherfuckers, you see like 10 ,000 people just left. Really? Because there was a lot of gay people hidden. It's Christmas time. They want to be a share. Just to see share. 82 years old. She's 82. What is it? 77. Close enough. 77 82.

45:54Yeah, it's old. That's Biden's age. How the fuck did Jimmy, how the fuck did our girl, how the fuck did Jimmy Page 80 years old? Yeah, how the fuck it turned 80? So that's good. She looks fucking dynamite. Look at her. How's she sound?

46:21It's, let's see. Let me see, let me see if it's recorded here.

46:34It's not recorded. It's loaded in processing. Yeah, that's the show. I was at.

46:43It might, it might be recorded. It's hard to say. Often too though, they do though. She might be singing live, but you're not, it's so buried in the mix that you're hearing. You would never really be able to tell. She looks like she's singing that. It looks like she's singing that. Yeah, she's singing. That sounds pretty fucking good. It could just be mixing. They could make mixing. Good for her. Maybe she can hit someone else in the album or something. Don't I show off when I was a young man? I show off when I was a fucking kid. Yeah. And you need a city walking into pastoral music with fucking the king Gregorm.

47:21Wow. That's not gonna be fun. And I didn't know who he was. I love to tell you I knew Gregorm was an animal. I just knew something was right, but I saw her and I was like, what a fucking sonny, you know. I grew up on that stupid fucking show. So, song I love is, I'm no angel. Oh, bro, he's got a song. Give me that, Jamie. That dude, what a, that dude lived. You hear his voice like that. You only get. You know. So I won't come for the joke. I know baby. So I'm gonna score. I'm gonna play. Come on, love me baby. So you find me hard to handle. It's easy, I hope. I hope you make me burn a jiggle. I never leave you home.

48:25So I might just get on the dime with that. You take your back and go. I'm the way to. Yeah. The thing about him is, the reason I called Jelly that day about three years ago, after I heard that one song, I called him, like, listen, bro. You're bringing back something that this country has not heard in 30 years. All these types of songs, like these singers Greg Orman. Yeah. A couple of them, even the dude from Leonard Skinner, the way they sang, it was deep. You felt their years. You felt without counting. Yeah. And I think that's what Jelly brought back to us. Oh yeah. That's what he brought back.

49:07That little piece, that's what he brought back. Yeah. That type of, you know, I still listen to a lot of Eda Peach, Ormans, and I still listen to live from the fucking beacon, whatever the fuck they do all the time. You know, we have that green room playlist. Midnight Riders, the first song. That's the fucking, yeah. That gets me. That's the first song. Sometimes I switch it up, sometimes I'm your boogie man. That's another one. Depends on our village, Jelly. Depends on how we're feeling. That's a crazy assumption. Yeah. Come on, that muck me some, I'm your boogie man. Is he still torn? Give me some volume too.

49:38I don't know, man. But this is the song, when we would walk into the arena. When we do arenas, when we walk into the arena. Like, as we're walking into the green room, I like to play I'm your boogie man. Because that's one of those ones that just listen to this. You're walking in. The joint gets fired up. The ice cubes go on the glass. The whiskey gets poured. Cheers. Music goes up. Everybody gets ready. Show's about to start. That's what I need. I'm here to do. Whatever I need. Be early in the morning. Late afternoon. Or at midnight. It's nap time soon. I wanna feel you. That's back when you could use rainbows.

50:28Oh. You know what was here last night? Mother fucking nobody told me. Cooling the gang. Was here last night. No way. At the moody fucking theater. No way. When I got to the whole town room, I looked at the menu and said, yeah. At the table for the month. Fucking, that was the thing that I didn't realize about moving here. I thought I was gonna miss out on like big artists, like big acts. But then when I got in, I'm like, oh, they all come to town. They all come here. They all come here. They all come here. They all come here. They all come here. And the Williams was just here. We got to say hello.

51:03I'm Mark Curry. Remember I got in my car? Yeah. Mark Curry's the man. Mark Curry's the sweetest. I just bumped into him. Do you have his number? No. I got to get his number. I got him into the ha ha. And then he was working a little at the store before the pandemic hit. My man Willy D reached out to me the other day. And he said that he saw him, said Mark Curry was on fire. Mark Curry was open enough for cat. He said it was insane. It's 40 years of standup. What do you expect? Oh Mark was always underrated. Mark was always underrated. So underrated. So we'd see him at the store. He was so polished.

51:35But you know what? He just made a ton of money off that show. I was like, I'm good. I'm a chill. He's a great guy. Yeah. The best. Niceest guy in the world. Niceest guy in the world. Always great to young comics. He's always very nice. Great to everybody. You didn't have to earn a conversation with him. He talked to door people. So Mark Curry is opening for cat in the room. Yeah. Yeah. At least that show in Austin. And did they do the moody? I don't know what he did. He did a big place though. Cats killing it. This is like his stick. It sales weight up like 800%.

52:10I was in the HB center. Yeah. So he did a big place. That's that 15 ,000th place. Look at that. Come on, son. Come on, son. Let's go. I always love cat. I love cat. I don't know. He did an interview. He said I wouldn't have a mom. I'm like, what are you talking about? I have a, I have, you know. Let's go. Two times. Anytime. I have you on. Whenever you want to come by, call me. Call me. I'll fire this place. I have a three in the morning for you. I'll wake up. I'm always into doing something. I think we're going to get a studio downtown. I think I'm going to get a studio in one of them pen houses with a view.

52:50So I could do nighttime podcasts. Like after the podcast or after the shows. Like say if we do a seven o 'clock show at the mothership, maybe let's go fuck around. Let's go do a podcast. I forgot to do that. I saw. Exactly. Those are great days. Those are great days. When Red Band had that cool studio right there at the ice house. You go in and out. And we would go on the stage on ice house chronicles. We had a good time. I wonder what the ice house looks like now. It's supposed to be nice. Really nice. It's very cleaned up. A lot of guys don't like it because they rest the dirt. I get it. You miss like it was an old club.

53:19It was the longest running club in the country. The ice house was. Yes. Ice house was the longest running stand -up comedy club in the country. It was older than the store. Ice house existed before the store. And it was originally an actual ice house where people would go to get ice. And then it became like some sort of a rock and roll club. And then it became a comedy club in the early 70s. Been in a comedy club forever. The longest running comedy club even before the store. It really was a gem. Oh, it was amazing. That club was a gem. And I'll tell you why. Because it just took you out of that whole L .A.

53:57Shit from now. Exactly. It took you out of that. Put you on regular people. Those people in the little in that big room that would come on Friday and Saturday. I don't know why anybody didn't take their specials there. They did. They just come to laugh there. They came prepared. Good good people. It was a good place to be. Good stuff. That's what I miss about L .A. The Armenians. Yeah. They're up north. You know, Jersey's got a lot of Armenians but up north. Yeah. So when I moved here, the Armenian would call me all the time and say, you want to buy a gun? My friend. He'll see you. But when I went to my hometown and I had Armenians up there growing up, not a lot of them like this one, reclicked.

54:36But when I went up there about five years ago, I noticed I had an Armenian church in Northburg. Oh, yeah. So I was like, yeah, they got on the one here. Yeah, they're everywhere. But I don't have them done by me. Not like Glendale. No. I miss them. You were out next to them. Yeah. No, no, no. And I just became. This little last manly men. Yeah, they're fucking out of their minds. Unapologetically masculine men. Talked. That was still to the day my best drug dealer. I miss him. We still talk once in a while. He's still fucking nuts. He's still. I don't know how these guys could do it. I mean, I was there with him 20 years ago for him to still.

55:13And he's still at that race. At that pace, I'm sorry. He's not at the pace like I go out to fly being inside the day. No. No, no. You know, now he just goes to Vegas for the week. Oh, boy. Now he just goes to Vegas, hundreds and X. Couple of ounces of blow. Do you think you could ever do a residency somewhere like a Vegas type deal? Yeah. Which he would come to see you. Yeah. The thing about living in Vegas, Joey, is one is great. It's great tax benefits, but two, you don't live in Vegas. No, you live in like hand -reducing. Yeah, or somewhere nice. People like it. Henderson's nice. People like it.

55:48What's that other place? There's another area of Vegas that's real nice. That's out further away. A lot of people live in. Red rocks is where's red rocks? I was going to say that, but that's not what it's called. Red rocks is nice. Do you call them a rock? No, no, no. Red Rock Casino. Oh, that might be what they call it, I guess. The area of red rock? Yeah, I mean, it's a nice area. That's where the fatitas have that club. Summer. Red Rocks. That's a day -to -way gamble there. And he was down $600 ,000 playing Blackjack. I was like, you fucking psychopath. What are you doing? Because I knew he did that, but I never went with him to do it until this one time.

56:27These guys are all gambling. Taylor won lost $120 ,000 in the first five minutes. And I'm fucking shit in my pants. I'm like, get an anxiety. I can't watch this. This is insane. Taylor won at winning. I think he was up 60 and he quit. And Dana won at winning. Dana was down $600 and he won at being up $600. Dana's good at card. Oh, he's a wizard. He got kicked out of the palms back in the day. He won like $70 million one night and they gave him the boot. They said, you're banned. Do you play cards? No, I mean, I did with my wife. If I went with my wife with Whitney and Lex Friedman, we went to Vegas a while back during the pandemic.

57:05Whitney had a corporate gig. So it was like it was a she did stand up at some lady's house. So went to this rich lady had this house in Vegas and Dana Carvey and Whitney Cummings. And I introduced Whitney because I was just there and I was drunk. We just went from Andrew Schultz's wedding. So we went to Andrew Schultz's wedding in Montessido. We flew in a jet with Lex Friedman hammered out of his fucking mind. Whitney and my wife, we all went to Vegas for like the day. So we got there at like 9 p .m. the gig is at 10. She does her gig and then we go out and we go and play cards. And it was it was a hilarious night.

57:46Lex Friedman got a push up contest with David Goggins. I called Goggins and said we were in town. Goggins met us there. We hung out with Goggins and his wife and we played a little bit of cards. But I'm not good at it. Did you ever play poker with five guys? No. No. Poker to me was always the thing that killed pool action. Because you can't miss when you're playing poker. You can win or lose if you're gambling addict. There's a lot of guys. The thing about pool is making the shot. There's like the nine balls. There's like it's eight to eight on a race to nine. You're shooting the nine ball for all the fucking marbles.

58:21That's what I like. I like these high pressure moments. I like the difficulty of like performing under pressure. And cards didn't have any of that, but it had the gambling. So all the gambling addicts were just addicted to gambling. They didn't want to play pool anymore. They wanted to play cards. So we'd have these gin games, gin and rummy games. These guys would be playing all these card games when you couldn't get any pool games. So to me I was like this is not good. I don't like this. I can never sit with five guys all night. Like I know people play two, three days. I don't know. I can't do that.

58:56I'm not a game guy. Even Monopoly as a kid. Once you started buying hotels, I'm done. Poker is a very skillful game. And I'm sure I would love it. It's just like I love it. Yeah, I think I would love it. Call off to me. Like my friend's husband, he plays professionally. He plays poker. He lives out here. And he goes everywhere. He goes to these tournaments. There's these card places. There's one out in Round Rock. That's this big fucking card, card place. And you know, like high level guys go there and they play and they play tournament. And he makes money. Like he's a real poker player. Are he was a real poker player?

59:28Are we? He could play in LA. He played a lot of like real poker. But to me, you know how I am, I can't get into another thing. I'm too crazy. I get into another thing. I'm playing, you know, I got into archery. I'm shooting arrows three hours a day. The only reason I can't do it more is my shoulder gives out. I get tired. Otherwise it'd be there all day. I'm a psychopath. And if you give me something like poker, where all I have to do is sit there and do this. And I get better at it and figure it out. I'll be doing that 12 hours a day. I can't do it. I'm too crazy. I don't have time for that either.

59:58I never, I never, I don't even want to play dice. Like streak dice on a streak. I walked by games all the fucking time as a kid. I didn't, I stopped for two minutes and a low. But I didn't play. There was a 30 % chance that someone was going to get punched or shot if there's ever a dice game. There's a 30 % chance. I always thought that was like, this is like a high level of potential violent activity. Because people get mad. They lose. They think someone's cheating. Someone's got low to dice. Someone says they bet this, but they didn't bet this. They bet that. And it's like arguments and shit.

1:00:31I used to go to this place. Not used to go. I went twice with a crazy friend of mine. Chris, you fuck, 181st Street. It was a parking garage. Maybe six floors. You just pulled in. There was a guy standing there. And also he'd open up a door. You pulled into a car elevator. That put your car up. The car brought you up to the six floor. You fucking come out of your car. You walk out of elevator. Joe, you thought you weren't fucking Vegas. Really? Everything was dark. Poker, blackjack. And all that shit. Those are exciting. Cocaine hookers there. There was hookers on site. People snorting on site.

1:01:11Twice I went down. Like this is too much. Wow. One time me and Chris, we drove a girl out of there that we grew up with. And then we all went this way. Whole town snorted a coke the next day. So how do they get away with that? Do they make a deal with the cops? They pay the cops off? What do I do? Probably. Get everybody to keep their mouth shut. You can't get everybody to keep their mouth shut. This is 30 years ago. Right. So this is a different mount mindset. Yeah. It was up 181st. And all the cops were dirty back there. You would always find dirty cops right there. You know, I mean, but I don't know how they do it.

1:01:43They figure it out. You have to pay like the battalion. You know, it's just somebody. You got to pay somebody. You got to pay them good money. Yeah. You got to give them a piece. So they have a vested interest in keeping the place open. This episode is brought to you by Robin Hood Gold. With Robin Hood Gold, you can now enjoy the VIP treatment receiving 3 % IRA match on retirement contributions. The privileges of the very privilege are no longer exclusive. With Robin Hood Gold, your annual IRA contributions are boosted by 3 % plus the number of requests you also get 4 % APY on your cash in non -retirement accounts.

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1:03:15This episode is brought to you by Visit Myrtle Beach. If you're dreaming of a beachy summer escape, then head to the beach. In Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, you'll find 60 miles of stunning coastline, hundreds of attractions to explore, and the South's newest foodie hotspot. It's where you play hard and beach easy. You belong at the beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, start planning your summer adventure at Visit Myrtle Beach .com. See, I knew people who had that, but they had moving locations. So the cops could never get a hold. Do you say when you booked numbers on the phone, we had to get a new apartment every three weeks.

1:03:57Not a personal apartment. Right, but to book out of. So I would get a, my mom would get an apartment, and then she would get three different apartments out of that apartment. So nobody could read what you're doing. Then a month later, next door, then a month later, around the block, then you're back to that fucking building. So you pretty much pay rent on it. All those years rent was cheap. Now you get fucking. Isn't it crazy how much underground gambling there was with bookies and the numbers? And the numbers is a big one. Numbers is big. You know underground casinos. I'm used to go with my buddy Martin Perez to this judo school.

1:04:34I never wanted to go. I used to go. I was the more of a karate guy. But I would go with him. And it was like this old fucking Japanese guy and this old Cuban dude. And they would throw each other around. It was a Russian guy there. There's the 70s. And up the corner, there was a place where people would play cards. And I found out my stepfather would go there. And one day I went to judo on the way out. As I was walking towards the bus on seven street, I saw on mark cars. I saw like two on mark cars. And when I got home then my stepdad was getting ready to go. He goes, I'm going to play cards. And I go, you going on that eight street?

1:05:09He goes, yeah, don't go down there. He goes, why are you going? Because I was down there with Martin. And I saw the fucking two on mark cars down there. And he goes, what the fuck do you know? I go, what do I know that since I've been fucking five, I've been running to be a lookout. Just on five, that's my job to look, right? And keep my fucking eyes open. And I would just pick up shit like that. I would just pick up two on mark cars. He didn't go. He thought about it and he goes, okay, have you saw him? I won't go. Sure enough, the next day I woke up and he gave me 50 bucks. He's like, dog, how the fuck did you know?

1:05:41Because I'm telling you. I fucking know. They got ready. They didn't know in those days. They cops will go early and they park like two blocks away because they're fucking lazy. You know, if you're gonna raid somebody, stay the fuck away from there, I'll god damn day. Yeah. Then come in at night. Don't fucking lurk all day. We know. Second good fellows, they were following them all fucking day without a copter. Just bust them copter. Well, they want to terrorize you before they get you. Well, they want to see what they want to see how you respond. Well, if you're cracked out, you're going to go to try to get rid of something.

1:06:12Or you're going to go to try to hide something. And they got your phone tapped. They got everything. So they put a cop car in front of your house to see where you react. To see how your reaction would be for the day. And then you start cleaning the house. You know, you call people, get everything out of your house, whatever the fuck it is, and then they come in. But it's a different world out there now. So I don't know nothing about that fucking world now. Yeah, it's a different world. And I don't want to know. Yeah. Because now those shoot, you just for being there. None of this, you know. It's different world in terms of law enforcement too.

1:06:44People are getting out of jail like that now. And they still won't drop my warrant as fucking Seattle. You can't even get arrested and see out of what you did. You can't even have a record. You cannot fuck. You can hit somebody with a stick and be out that afternoon. Yeah, you wouldn't have a record in Seattle. Doug, I'm still going back and forth with these motherfuckers. That's why I look before. Because you still can't get your passport. I just sent them the last thing. If you get a passport and we go overseas, when we do gigs overseas, you will get a passport. We will do this. When you do this, we're going to have to fucking fly in a day early.

1:07:19We're going to make it sick. Because I don't know if you're going to be able to get anything over there. It might be a hard time once you land. Well, anywhere. UK, anywhere. Doug, Canada is a big one. Canada is mine. Canada is not going to take me. We're not going to go to Canada. And I love Canadians. I got nothing else going on. It's the way the country works. The nicest guy we know is got to do you why and he can't get in the candle. But that you could pay a tax. Like Snoop Dogg. So you're telling me Snoop Dogg can't play Canada? There's a tax you could pay. A little heavy and then you get out.

1:07:50It's like everybody else. We could all settle this with an envelope. Well, you get an envelope anyway. When you do a gig in Canada, you get a big tax envelope. You get that in the UK too. Doug, you do a gig in the UK? You're paying. Let me tell you something. Before 9 -11, I was going up to Toronto two times a year. I had all these criminal charges. No warrants or anything. My friend from the Miami improv dated a girl from Buffalo. And he called her father to pick me up at the Buffalo Airport. Take me to his house and then cross me over the border. Before 9 -11, there was a casino they go to. And you just drove in.

1:08:29Right. And there was no ID, no nothing. And he would drive me to Toronto. He would drive me to Ontario. And I'd take the bus to Toronto and do the two weeks and then come back. But on the way back, I would come on the bus. I would drive those motherfuckers crazy, Doug. When I give my license, they start looking at me and they go, when did you come in here? And I go, last week, you were the guy that was working. They would say, no, I wasn't. I would have never let you come through. Well, you let me to fuck out now. Do you have your record? Yeah, they would hold me for like 10 minutes. Like, how did you get into this country?

1:09:04I'm like, I'm fucking bus. You guys let me in last week. No, it was a mistake. We could have never let you in. Doug, I would fuck with them all the time. I tried to do that cute shit during 9 -11. They yanked me right to fuck out of there. Yeah, we're not taking this shit. But to answer your question from before, my plan is this. I'm doing 10 spots. Okay, I'm up to number three. Okay. When I do my 10 spots, I'm going to decide what I want to do. I'm not going to travel anymore. I'm not going to get on fucking planes. That was brutal last night. That was brutal. Three and a half hours on a flight from me, I can't do that.

1:09:39Really? Yeah. I'm good for like an hour and a half. I want the Nashville on JSX, the private plane, the semi -private 30 people on tremendous. I recommend that to anybody if you don't like terminals. I fucking loved it. But they don't fly to Austin yet. They fly to Dallas, they have to connect to Austin. My plan is this. Start doing some sets at the stand. Start going over and seeing Chris Mizzili at the Gotham comedy club. Do a couple of those. And when I'm feeling like I got 45 minutes, I'm going to take a residency somewhere. Where are you going to go? AC or Parks Casino. Where's Parks? Philadelphia.

1:10:15Hmm. I have no problems in Philadelphia. Philadelphia is great. Nobody's going to ever walk out of my show in Philadelphia. No, they're fun. Yeah. Nobody will ever walk out of my show in Philadelphia insulted. No. Nobody will get their feelings hurt. If I say a joke that, you know, I'm on the spectrum, somebody's not going to cry after the show and say that their nephews on the spectrum and the show hurt their feelings, Philly, that's never going to happen. Animals. Animals. And Atlantic City. Animals. That's never going to happen. Same people. Animals. Same people. That's why people long. Yeah.

1:10:53That's why I belong. Yeah, you could easily do a residency. I would love to tell you I'm going to put a tuxedo on and go to Vegas, sing a couple songs, and then talk and do an hour material. I would love to tell you not to fly. No. I get it. Do you think you'd ever live anywhere other than Jersey? Yes. Because if you lived in Vegas, you could do a residency there. Listen, we're not fucking crazy here. That's a tough, tough state to retire to in Jersey. Do you know what I am? Not cheap, bro. Jersey's not cheap. Not fucking cheap, bro. Jersey's expensive. And that's why everybody from Jersey flies to fucking Florida.

1:11:31You know, I like to lean towards Nashville. Nashville's nice. Outside of Nashville, like get like, you know, something. And then, bro, right now you can pick up a house in Nashville for nothing. Well, the ones I saw over the holidays brand new. Not much, Joe. You know, because it's going to be just a spare house. It's just a property to retire it. Right. If I turn 65, you know how much money I'll save by having a Tennessee address? By living in Tennessee? A lot. They don't tax your pension. Yeah. They don't tax much, man. I've read about Dubai. See if this is true. Dubai, there's no tax. There's no income tax.

1:12:10None at all. They just have so much money. They're like, I need your money. Don't worry about it. Next year. And everything's clean. My friend Will went over there and moved over there. He said to me, he goes, I don't want to get shot in America. He goes, I could live like completely, completely safe in Dubai. UAE does not levied income tax on individuals. However, levies, a 5 % value added tax on purchases of goods and services. Levied at each stage of the supply chain and ultimately born by the end consumer. That's not, yeah, but that's okay. If you know what that is, that's a big difference between that and income tax.

1:12:46Income tax is weird. Because you don't get any say in where it goes. And when you see what's going on with Ukraine, you see what's going on with Israel, you see what's going on with all the different shit that the Biden administration spends money on. All the money they're giving to illegal immigrants that are coming into the country. All the money they're giving for programs that are ridiculous. That's your money. And you don't have any say. You can't argue about it. It's not, there's not competition. There's not a better company that's going to come along and take care of the taxes in a better way, more efficient.

1:13:19There's no incentive to do it better. This fuck you, give me the money. We're not giving you Ukraine any more money, right? We're giving them a lot more money. Yeah. That was one of the things that they were arguing about. That they have to do both. They wanted the Ukraine budget to be lumped into the border fixing budget. Joe, it's wild. That fucking border. It's a wild thing. That bottom with Abbot is doing down there. Telling those motherfuckers to step off and shit.

1:13:51I'm at Abbot a few times. This is a good man. I like that guy a lot. You know, the sending the buses filled with immigrants to the sanctuary city is such a crazy move. Like fuck you. You take care of them. You're just letting them in. Your policies are letting them in. You're encouraging people to go there because you're a sanctuary city. Good, we'll help you out. We'll help you out. We'll bring them right to you. And now the same politicians that we're running on this platform, this mystery. It's not a fantasy platform. This is a fantasy. Like come here. We'll accept you all. And let's say that the government now, she's like, that's enough.

1:14:28No more. You can't come here. Go somewhere else. Go somewhere else. What does that mean? Go where? They're already here. There's too many. There's millions. You guys have let millions in. There's more illegal immigrants over the last few years than our legal residents in like five states. If you put together like Idaho, Wyoming, you know, like the weird states with low populations, what's the number of illegal immigrants that have entered into this country over the last four years? Let's guess. What do you think it is? Millions. Yeah. 100%. Millions. 10 million? Maybe 12. Maybe 12. What do you think it is, James?

1:15:12I saw those fucking lines. If they don't even know, by the way, they're just guessing. They're just guessing. They're just guessing. They're not counting them all. I don't know how to find that number even. Just try to go to the... No, I get it. I've tried this before. You can't. I don't know how to differentiate illegal versus legal. And they don't really tell you either. Because they have to figure it out themselves. Some of you are allowed to cross. But they're trying to make everybody legal. That's part of the hustle. The hustle is make everybody document it. Do you want to type in illegal immigrants entering US -2023?

1:15:41This is what it says. It says there's... Arrivals of migrants without prior authorization. Which I guess that... I don't know if that's even illegal. You know, I don't know. So in one year, a rival of ports of entry migrants. But that's ports of entry. That's not like coming in through the border. Right. That's... Coming in through the border. That's like doing a homeless count. That's right. Why don't you google this? How many illegal immigrants sneak through the border? Just google that. How would you know that? I don't know. Google it. How many illegal immigrants? How many illegal immigrants?

1:16:13How many illegal immigrants? But just do it in my language. Do it how many illegal immigrants sneak through the border? Right, that's sneak. Sneak through the border. Sneak through the border. Let's see what's up. Record numbers. Okay, this is a real recent. December 24th, click on that. Let's say... It's in some 50 ,000, but it still is like... How many per day? I don't know. 50 that... No, it can't be that much. Is it? That's crazy. I'm not going to see that number now. Does it say? Okay. Oh, whatever. There it goes. Okay. In just the last five days, border patrol process nearly 50 ,000... Whoa, five days.

1:17:02Who entered the US illegally? With daily apprehension surpassing 10 ,000 thrice, up from the 6 ,400 average last month. Court of Federal data obtained by CBS News, roughly 1 ,500 immigrants are being processed each day at official border crossings under the Biden program powered by a phone app. That's not sneaking across. That's why I was like, that's not answering the question you asked. It says it, but they are. It says entering the US illegally. But they're processed. It's not sneaking. Right, but they still made it across illegally. They entered in illegally. That's just what I'm saying. I'm saying sneaking in, but that's really what it is.

1:17:39They're processing anybody, but they're just letting them go. This is what's crazy. They're processing you, but it's bullshit. They don't sell you have to go back. There's no going back. You go in. They give you a phone. They give you money. A phone? Yeah. Some places they're giving people phones. And so, if it's, let's say if it's, go back to that, it's past 10 ,000. It's the past 10 ,000th rice. So let's just say it's 50 ,000. So 10 ,000 a day. If it's 10 ,000 a day daily, that's the high end. Let's assume that they're not counting them all. A lot of them sneak through. 10 ,000. That's 3 ,650 ,000 a year.

1:18:22That's a lot of money. Now, when I read all this shit, and I hear all this shit, how am I supposed to feel? If it really is 10 ,000 a day, that is fucking bananas. But think about it. How am I supposed to feel? How many of them are gripped? How am I supposed to feel? I got to hear these shit all day long. And I feel terrible about this shit. I would do it. But do you see the lines of the people that are fucking coming through? It's not. And listen, I don't know if a lot of people know this shit. Sanitation, police, all this shit in New York. There's no overtime. Because all that budget has gone to the migrants.

1:18:56Yeah. And the migrants are not happy. No. They're losing their fucking minds. Well, they thought they were going to get jobs. Yeah. They were totally not. They're trying to start families. There's nothing there. There's nothing there homeless. And you know, we come out here to be homeless. The sanctuary city is now, I don't even know. New York City is a sanctuary city. Yes. Okay. Whoever made that didn't check with the people. No. You know what I'm saying? Like whoever said, we were a sanctuary city in New York City. Didn't check with the people that came here. But it is. It's just letting everybody know you're not racist.

1:19:26You're not racist. You have no problem with immigrants. We're not racist. We're not, of course. We're not racist. But I see that my friend who's got two children that depends on overtime from the sanitation department can't get it. He's a supervisor. He lost thousands in fucking salaries. Because it's all going to this. To the migrant states. And cops know overtime. You know, so this is what this is doing. You know, and this just isn't New York. It's got to be in all the big cities. You know, it does a big problem on the Texas Houston, you know, and what comes from this? You don't know. Again, we're going back to the Marielle thing.

1:20:01I don't know who the fuck is coming in. Yeah. I don't know if they rape 22 women. I don't know if they rape 22 boys. Yeah. I don't know if they're perfect fucking citizens. Right. You don't know. So we're, you know, this was just something. Listen, when I think of politics, I don't get involved, Joe Rogan, because it scares me. Joe Rogan, that doesn't scare me is how a man, how a man can have 20 ,000 indictments and still lead the presidential fucking in our country. This is why America is America. How can fucking somebody have 92 fucking indictments? He's in New York yelling yesterday. Yeah. But he still has 50 % of the fucking country on lockdown.

1:20:42Right? Isn't that like a, he has, he's beaten Mickey Haley. Yeah. Can be another guy. Well, because it appears that they're, they're prosecuting him for political purposes. Yes, they are. I mean, not not a political guy. I'm telling you, they just thrown, they just keep fucking throwing things at this point. They throw things at him also that don't make sense. Like we talked about the moral logo thing a bunch of times where they tried to say that he overvalued moral logo in the judge that it's worth 18 million. Nobody thinks that. No, nobody thinks that. There's not a fucking human alive that thinks that place is only worth 18 million.

1:21:12Did you see who raises hand this week? Who? Sammy the bull. What do you say? Talking about fucking Trump. He's great. We can, we can never corrupt him. The mafia can never love Trump. Who? The Italians. They love Trump. He was uncorruptible. He was saying that the end of my sit, that's scratching my head, go, fucking Sammy's a savage. He's a savage. Yeah, this, this is a strange time because there's people that are trying to paint everybody that's supporting Trump as being a white supremacist or a racist or an anti -immigration person or anti -human rights person. You want to vote in a dictator.

1:21:49They're trying to say the most ridiculous versions of what most of it is because what most of it is is people that are fed up, they're fed up with the open border. They're fed up with the increasing government scrutiny on things like social media. They're fed up with the influence that big companies have over the things you do and don't do in this country. They're fed up with us being in these fucking wars, constantly being involved in wars. And they know that Trump is one of the few guys that when he was in office, we didn't get into more wars. We did. He actually, they did do a great job of stopping ISIS.

1:22:26They did a lot of things with the economy that seemed to been working. I'm not an economist. I'm not the guy to have this conversation with. If you want to talk about policies and what's effective, it's not effective. I'll tell you what's not effective. What's going on right now? What's going on right now is not good. And you want to continue this. You're out of your fucking mind. You look at the just sheer raw numbers of dollars that we sent to other countries this year that you have to realize that if you wanted the country to be better, you would have spent that money here. I love it. And if you spent that money on us and it stays in America, you got American jobs to make American cities better.

1:23:05You could have done a fucking substantial amount of rebuilding American cities with $170 billion. There's so much they could have done that could have elevated so many lives. And they didn't do anything. We're just talking about it. Buffalo. Cleveland, Pittsburgh, all these cities up North New York and all that. They need a boost up there. They need something. Cleveland needs a boost. I went to Pittsburgh last year after the pandemic. The fucking town was closed, brother. Yeah. Places had closed down. I mean, come on. Something called like a good restaurant closed down. How can they close down?

1:23:42Think about the impact of you can't have any business for three years. No business. So I mean, Tony Henscliff's dad lost his restaurant. Tony Henscliff's dad had a restaurant in Youngstown, Ohio for like 25 fucking years. And he couldn't, he was getting by. He was getting by. He was doing well getting by, making money, good restaurant, like real Italian food. Fucking goes under. You know, it's like, God damn it. You know, you didn't even give people the option of what they wanted to do and you were wrong. And no one is punished for it. They were wrong. They shouldn't have had a lockdown for that long.

1:24:16They were wrong. No, that shit made sense. All that six foot social distancing. Fauci now admits it's all bullshit. They just came up with that number. People just started saying that number. Remember those stupid stickers on the ground of the bank? You get a sticker. You weren't allowed to like, stand here. And then the other person has to say six feet in front of you and you stand there. You're not allowed to get close. It's all nonsense. It was all nonsense. And they scared the fuck out of people and they kept businesses closed. And they closed restaurants in Los Angeles. They closed outdoor dining just because of the optics of it.

1:24:48Because COVID started to surge. There was no evidence at all that it was causing outdoor transmission. And they closed those fucking things down. They shouldn't be allowed to have that kind of power over whether or not you can make a living and the choices that you make. Because they are just human beings too. And not only are they often uninformed, they're often misinformed. They're often absolutely victims of some sort of corporate propaganda that they've been used as a mouthpiece to promote. And they're affecting these people that have worked their whole lives for 20, 30 years. And it's such a selfish shitty fucked up way to run a city.

1:25:28And a selfish shitty fucked up way to run a country. And you didn't listen to all the experts and you didn't take into consideration people's health, mental health from losing their jobs. How many people would have been fine? How many people need this fucking medicine that you're trying to push on? And how many don't? And who's making the money off of them? The whole thing was insane. And it was right in front of your face. Because we live in 2024 and the fucking internet is everywhere. You can't run these giant scams like this where you're just fucking over the whole country. Well, that everybody just being able to piece it together at the end of the scam.

1:26:02And go, well, now we know how they do it. Look at they all were working in cooots together. They were literally paying media companies to shame people that were anti -vaccine. The government was involved in censoring social media posts. Wild shit, Joey. Wild shit. So for people to go through all that and lose their business and be on the other side. And then Trump comes along and he's like, that's enough. You can't just label all those people's white supremacists. You can't label all those fucking people as hateful bigots. Because that's not what it is. They don't want any more of this. They're tired of this nonsense that you're shoving down people's faces.

1:26:44They're tired of it. So that doesn't mean that they're evil. And this narrative is stupid. This narrative that everyone on the other side that disagrees with you doesn't see the fundamental problems the way things are being run right now. Everyone is hateful. Everyone supports a dictator. You guys are out of your fucking minds. And then we got Cuba. And then the starvation still. What are they doing now that Castro's dead? Is his son running it? Who's running Cuba? They're not having elections. Elections. They should bring back the mob. That's when it was running. Fucking paper. That's when I was running.

1:27:22Shit. They used to love going. People used to love going to Cuba. It used to be the place to go. They had gambling there. They were going gamble. Famous people used to go to Cuba. Before the revolution, right? What's the guy's name you're introducing me to today? He owns a company, really nice sweet guy. Oh, bring him from Waste of World? Yeah. Me and him had a tremendous combs because he went. He went to Cuba and he had to get a visa as a student to something. And he was blown the fuck away. But he was more blown away about going into those palaces and those casinos. And they still have pictures of the people sitting where you would, you know, Sinatra and fucking Brando and Rock Hudson and all these, you know, we don't even know.

1:28:08We don't even know how, like how many planes were going down every day. We're fucking people from here. It was amazing. I'll tell you one thing. You ask a Cuban in Miami who they're voting for? You're going to get a red wave, son. You want to talk about people that vote Republican. You want to talk about people that don't want to hear no bullshit about socialism? Shut the fuck up. Cubans will yell at you. If you want to talk that nonsense, woke hippie shit about Marxism. They will fucking yell at you. That is not the type of shit to talk about those people. Those people have actually felt it. They escaped it.

1:28:47Yeah, I'm sitting there, Joe. And they're talking about Trump on some CNN and some, and I had to stop and go. I could just imagine what Cubans in Miami are saying in Spanish. And it's fucking hilarious. Yeah. You know, they love Trump. They love Trump. Because I just spoke to like a cousin of mine and he's like, Trump and they're being got, you know, and I'm like, oh my god. They love Republican. They love Trump. And I could just imagine them going, oh yeah. And Kepaí. And Kepaí, one people, Guero Tambilando con toda la penga extra. To la ría, por ese presiente, o tal, suñido. For a Cuban, they fucking love that shit.

1:29:27What I just said was what other country? Carriendo, tell me, what other country can you have 30 indictments? And still be fucking president of the state. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's it. It's only one. I mean, maybe there's another country. If you don't give me that fucking can, I'm going to stab you soon. Why? Open it because you keep, are you trying to open it? No, no, no, no.

1:29:56Oh my god, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's nicotine pouch. They good, oh yeah, they're good, you want one? We'll flavor. This is a experiment. Am I going to fucking get dizzy? No, you get a little excited. Check this. Put that motherfucker in between you. You can go on that six milligrams. You can handle it. Oh no, dig it in. Dig in this side. There you go. Let's go, Joey. Oh, right. Like right away, you're like, Jesus. Yeah, the whole presidential election, the thing that scares me is if the Democrats stay in power and Biden stays in power, you feel the same administration, we're headed in the same exact direction as we are right now.

1:30:34And if Trump gets in the office, then people are going to freak the fuck out. And then there's probably going to be riots. There's probably going to be some craziness, probably going to be violence, probably going to be organized stuff too. There's probably going to be nefarious groups that organize people to start civil unrest. That's a real thing. Whatever those groups are, whoever you want to call them, that's a real thing, whether it's antifa, whatever you want to say, groups of human beings that will purposely start civil unrest in order to push a narrative about a political movement that the people are tired of trying to eat, they're hateful.

1:31:11You know what Jim Brewer has a fucking great bit about the women's march? He was remembered when Trump was an off into women's march. The women's march just, yeah, you knew who a woman was then. That great joke. That's only 2016. 2016, he gets in the office. There's this giant women's march. And now no one can tell you what a woman is. If you had a giant women's march today, we have guys.

1:31:37And you can't say shit. There's your sister. And then they'll hold an election, the men will win because they're more aggressive. Then you got a man running a woman's organization who says it's a woman. The crazy fucking world. You see this video. This is a lady in Chicago. And this guy is trying to use the women's room and she's going in there with her daughter. And this guy is a full beard, just a full beard. And she's yelling at him. She's like, you are a whole, you are a whole man. And he's like, I am a woman. They're like big deep breath, deep voice, big husky guy with a fucking beard. It's like, what the fuck man?

1:32:15Like what the fuck? Is this really, is this being kind? Is that what this is? Is this being open -minded and compassionate? Or is this opening the door to fucking psychopaths? This is it. Yeah, click this. Look at this. This is... Don't get in my back. Do not get in my back. Don't get in my back. Don't get in my back. Don't get in my back. This size of that dude. Don't see my daughter right here. Is she right here? Let her know. No, no, no. You need to go over that to me. You need to go over that to me. I'm here in Chicago. You need to make a whole whole man. I'm going to go over that to me. But in the last time, I'm not a man.

1:32:50I'm sorry. I don't know left. You see this guy. This guy is a big dude. Yeah, he is. With a beard. Oh, my first go. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. I have a problem with you. Good luck. Good luck. Hey man, use another bathroom. Hey, see what's great? Just use another bathroom. There's a child in there. What's man? That's a child. You see what you... Huh? That's a child in there. A little girl. Like who's the man's bathroom? Okay. I'm a woman. What's the matter? You... What's the matter? You know it's my good business. I need to buy you business. This is my world and coming to the world. I don't know what you buy.

1:33:24So that's a real thing. Now, the people that want to deny that that's a real thing, you're doing a disservice for everyone. You're doing a disservice to all the innocent women that have to go into those bathrooms and don't feel safe. And you're doing a disservice to real trans people. There's going to be a bunch of people that game your system. And there's going to be a bunch of perverts with fucking beards who want to go where the little girls are shitting. People are out of their minds. There's a certain percentage of people that are out of their fucking minds. It doesn't mean that all trans people are bad.

1:33:58It doesn't mean that all trans people are out of their minds. It means you have to know what's crazy and what's not. And that's fucking crazy. That's crazy. That's a mentally ill person with a fucking beard trying to get into a bathroom when a mother and her daughter are in there.

1:34:21That's crazy. That's the cops who are in cold. Well, it's Chicago, right? And what happens if the cops come now? What happens if that situation of the cops come? There was no struggle. Shit, that was in San Francisco. They might have arrested that lady. They might have arrested her for being a bigot. Who fucking knows, man? It's Narnia out there. It's a fantasy world. People have lost their fucking mind. And I think it's engineered. I think that China has been tick -tock in these fucking people into a coma. I think all those little videos where, you know, trans awareness and, you know, and maybe you're trans and there are no genders, just 100, and then psychos, like that guy, now think that the culture has moved to the point where they can kind of get away with it.

1:35:10Maybe the culture has changed their opinion on things. I think I can get away with this. I think I can wear my full beard with my dick out and go around women. And there's gonna be guys like that, just like there's real trans people. There's gonna be guys that are crazy that take advantage of this thing that I think has been at least partially engineered by other countries. I think the algorithm supporting that and pushing that out to people, people are super easily influenced, man. Super easily influenced. And if you make it this thing where you just have to accept everything that happens to be trans, everything is fine as long as you call it trans.

1:35:47Well, then what about perverts? Don't you think perverts are gonna game that system? This is a Willy Wonka golden ticket for perverts. That's what it is. Wasn't there a fucking Ted talk a couple years ago about some chick saying that we need better files? I'm looking through comments on this saying that this video we just watched is satire. Really? Yeah, I've seen other videos like this where there are people that, there's, I don't know who they are, but there are groups of people that will make videos like this that make them seem real and then person on face is a great actress. I don't, I'm not saying it is, but I'm looking at a lot of comments on TikToks and this is stage, this is fake.

1:36:22Well, they might be right, but that lady, if that's true, that lady is a fucking great actress. Because that lady really did seem like someone who was very flustered and was trying to protect her daughter. Yes, she was. And if it is satire and you use that dart, that girl was a really good actress too, because she looked like a girl would respond if a fucking grown man was trying to get in the bathroom and her mother was fighting with this grown man. Like, she was frozen. So if that's true, if that is fake, they're really good actors. I tell you when I knew the world was going crazy, wait, watch, there's all four and fucking those shots.

1:37:00Those big shots? Yeah. Yeah, well, there's a lot of money in those shots, Joey Diaz. I don't know if you know that. No, I didn't. Oh, yeah. Do you know that those weight loss drug shots, like these peptides? It's one of the biggest weight loss markets that's ever existed that gets emerged. They're everywhere now, everywhere. Like what are the, how much, how many people are on O's Zempick and Wage of V and all these other, like what's the numbers? G L P 1. Yeah, Agonist or whatever they are. That's not a free ride either. Brian Simpson tried that shit and got wrecked. He's one of the few, like a certain percentage of people they do, they have a bad side effect and he was one of those terrible, gastrointestinal pain, like he was an agony.

1:37:49Really? Yeah, yeah, he had a quid it right away. One database that has... I'm still a little apprehensive after the vaccine. Yeah. Because, you know, it was just another thing that just popped up. Yeah. Yeah, I've been talking about it for a few years. I would have jumped on it, but it just popped up. Well, some people, Brigham supports it. Brigham says it's like for people that want to lose weight, it is one of the only ways where you can like kind of guarantee that they can lose weight. But you know, there's the argument about that a lot of people are losing muscle mass and they're losing bone mass along with the weight.

1:38:26He's saying, yeah, but that's because they're not doing it right and they should also do it with peptides and he said they should do it with resistance training. Well, the guy I really know that he even talked to me about, he was showing, consider it. So look at this. It says 1 .7 per seat, 1 .7 % of people in the US have been prescribed a semi -glutide medication in 2023 up 40 fold over the past five years. So it was, I mean, I never even heard of it before 2022. No. Okay. So that's 18. That's then. So 1 .7 % now. So somewhere around some of the neighborhood of two million people around in this country.

1:39:09Now my friend said if you do it correctly, he goes, what happened was Dr. prescribed it to you and nobody did the fucking research on it. So they did the wrong dose. I work out with a guy, Joe, fit for the life. Tom, this motherfucker, he's very smart like you, very like this is his thing. And I asked him once because he asked me because if you ever consider it, I go, I don't know. Do you recommend it? He goes, let me tell you something. If you do it correctly, it'll work. He goes, I read into a bunch of studies, but he goes, what they don't tell you is you have to change your eating. Do you have to eat the protein first on your dish?

1:39:46Because you're going to get too full by the time you get to your carbs. So he goes, people were eating it and eating salad. And that's why they were losing the muscle mass and everything. I mentioned. You got to double your protein intake. Now, like a bodybuilder needs 150 to 180 grams for fucking protein a day. Joe, I could squeeze out 100 if I'm lucky, buddy. Eggs are seven grams each, right? Three eggs for breakfast, no steak. You know, I'll eat all that shit later. But how do you do 150 fucking grams a day of protein? All I eat is meat. That's five fucking meals. That's five 30 gram meals.

1:40:24I'm sure I get close to that. So that's what he was saying that people were not doing it right. It works 80 % better with resistance training. I'm sure 80 % better. I'm sure. Okay. Anytime you're, but you're essentially what it does is it kills your, your desire to eat, right? It kills your appetite, right? So you eat less, right? It's basically doing the same thing is if you had a controlled diet and you decided that you were going to eat less, when you're going into starvation mode, so your burning off more calories than your body consumes, your body is going to start eating its tissue. You're going to, you're going to eat some muscle mass, you're going to eat some, because you're just not doing it.

1:41:05But if you did do it with peptides and you did do it with weight lifting, I would imagine you probably, I mean, I imagine a lot of that 35 % they're talking about is like people didn't do anything. I bet a lot of people just took the shots and especially their overweight already. And drink alcohol. They don't have a healthy lifestyle. Yeah, but I do know that some people get side effects and that was Brian. Brian got one of the bad side effects. They're pretty common enough, enough people get them to that. It's something you have to get. You know, I called you about the peptide and then you turned me on.

1:41:36Thank you again for the stem cells today. Yeah, I hope they help your name, man. I didn't pass out. Good, beautiful. Faith. I had to leave you in the room. I knew. No, I wish you were freaking out about needles. No, no, no. I wish you were the cave and then talked to me a little bit. The nurses were great. They're great. Ways to Wells, awesome. I love that place. I could tell you and I even told it to a face. I go, I'd love to tell you I felt the needle. Wow. Well, they're really good. They're really good. I love to tell you. I felt the needle. I didn't even feel it. I put my iPod on. They just said that.

1:42:08Beautiful. Then I did the fucking IV. They have people black out all the time. He was talking about GSB. He was talking about GSB. He was talking about GSB skin and needles. That's hilarious. That's all I find that guy. Telling you that it is the weirdest fear that you could ever fucking have. GSB is so interesting because he's such a man that he's not afraid at all to tell you what he's afraid of. You know what I'm saying? Like, he hasn't put on any, there's no bluster. There's no bullshit. What he is is what he is. Don't guide up. My friends parent, when I was a kid, I brought a snake into his house.

1:42:45This guy was a fucking iron worker. That tough is nails. That's right. And Irish, this guy was in the war in the corner saying to me, Joey, I beg you get that out of my house. And I kept bustin' his boss. Come on. Are you really scared of this? Look, it was a little garter snake, dog. I mean, he was ready to climb into a fucking corner. That's a real thing. That's phobias and videophobia. Dog, the best one I was telling her, but I didn't tell her the truth. I told the nurse about a different story. But when I went to prison, you have to do a physical. So here I am in prison. You know, like, you got to fucking hold your own.

1:43:20I go in there and they put me to desk and I'm like, Lord, don't let me pass out. Not today. Because I will wake up. These brothers will yank me, dog. Do not pass out and show. I fucking kept it together. Whew. I went back into the holding tank. What up? What up? Yeah, you know, we did. Next thing you know, I fucking put the arm down. I took the cotton ball off and there was a red dot on blood. I fucking fainted. I have thousands of them. I never told anybody in truth how I ripped my meniscus. Let me tell you how I ripped my meniscus. Yeah. I was at acupuncture and I was like this on the, because at that time she didn't lay me down.

1:44:02She sat me down and I was like this. And she started sticking needles into me and I fainted and the chair, I buckled. And I just fell off the chair onto the floor. Oh, no. I tore my meniscus at acupuncture. Who does that? I thought I have a thousand. You know, you know, my wife had to stop. She was my girlfriend. She would send me down. I got a blood test. I wouldn't go. I wouldn't go. I would be petrified. Petrified. Petrified. I used to date a girl and when she saw someone get a needle in a movie she'd faint. Bro, I fainted in pulp fiction. When they stuck the needle in the heart, I was on a date and both of them.

1:44:42And all of a sudden the girls putting and raising that's in my mouth. You shit. Saying, I think you passed out. I did fuck them past out. She was trying to revive you with raising that. With raising that, she didn't know. She said, I was just passed back. Come on, guys. I got 10, you know, I don't. And it's always hitting me. Lately, the last 10 years I've been very good. Except for a couple IVs in my hand that didn't work. But beside that, I've been very good. Two, three months ago I did the PRP on my knee. It took six bloods, six tubes of blood out. That was no bueno for Papa. You know my boy, Tommy.

1:45:18Tommy, Tommy's junior. Yeah. Tommy just fell asleep on the wheel. Shoveling snow all day. Shoveling his car out of the snow. It's driving and it's got the dash cam put it. It just falls asleep. It hits a fucking wall. Is you okay? Yeah, he's banged up. It's banged up. Got some injuries. He's before the sleep. He just doesn't know what happened. He just blacked out. It's blacked out driving from exertion. You know, if your guy was out of shape, snow is heavy. Right? Especially if it's melting a little bit. And you gotta do your whole driveway. That's a workout, man. I don't work on it. It's not a workout.

1:45:57Not good after 50. Well, it's not good if you're not in shape. It's great if you're in shape. It's a really good workout. Like you could, you could get a, like I could put a fucking chest strap on and set an app for a workout and shovel and snow. Oh yeah. And it's a real workout. We used to shovel snow when I was a kid. That was a great way to make money. I shovel fucking snow when I was an adult. For money? When I was 19, I shoveled snow and asked me. It would knock on people's doors. No, the guy just, I was part of the building crew. It was 15 an hour and you went out there, whatever I was you wanted.

1:46:28It was work your own hours. It was fucking fantastic. I loved it. I was also casing out joints. You know, that's why the drug dealers lived. So I was shoveling in casing. Yeah, when I was a kid, we would make a ton of money. Now you can't get a kid to come out. No. And Jersey? Not that nobody knocks on my door. I was at the last week. It was understood in the neighborhood. That's how people would make money. So like the moment, like it would start snowing, people would be showing up at people's houses. Ask them if they wanted to get shoveled out. That was second. I used to go on the road and push motherfuckers.

1:47:02That's a quick 20. Oh yeah. You push a motherfuck out of a hole. You do anything for you. Seriously. Oh yeah, there's always people stuck to it. And then shoveling them out. They got stuck. Fucking putting rocks off there. The thing is about like real cold places like that. People will fucking help you because they know you could die. Like if you see a highway and some guys it's snowing and some guys over to the side of the road and it's hoods up, let's pick this guy up. Like it's a dangerous thing to do. But a lot of people do it there. There are a lot of people do it. They'll pick people up in the snow.

1:47:32I would. Hey, listen man, I just was told when I moved to Jersey to be careful when I showed. A lot of people drop fucking shovel and snow. You get a heart attack. It's real work. But is it because of the cold weather? Or it's, well, the weather's cold but I don't think that's fucking you up. I think it's just the exertion. It's a lot of workin' out. Like if you, let's say you have a hundred yard driveway. You know? That's crazy. That's crazy. Okay, let's say it's 20 yards. Let's say you yard, that's a lot to shovel. If it's wet, if it's melting a lot, let's say that every shovelful is 40 pounds.

1:48:08Okay? If you're doing every shovelful 40 pounds for reps, so you're essentially doing this for reps and then carrying it. You're doing 500 reps? That's a lot. For example, after only two minutes of snow shoveling, study participants' heart rates exceeded 85 % of maximal heart rate, which is a level more commonly expected during intense aerobic exercise testing. The impact is hardest on those people who are least fit, duh. And that's unfortunately my boy Tommy. So he just, fuck it. And just blacked out on the wheel. Yeah, I just, it snowed two weeks ago. I got a two car driveway. I shoveled it with my wife.

1:48:53My daughter came out and threw some fucking salt. I did the stairs. We didn't touch the sidewalk. There's nobody walks on them. If you're fit, you should look at it as your workout. Dude, that's a workout. Get out there and fucking get after it. Do it, do it like a workout. Bro.

1:49:10Jamie, young Jamie can ask you for a favor. Can you show Joe the people shoveling Buffalo Stadium last weekend? That was fucking work. And they pay you 20 an hour. They feed you and they give you two tickets for the game. Oh really? Yeah. Oh, that's not bad, deal. Fuck, you should have said. If you're a kid, that's a good deal. You get to see the game. Bro, there were no kids out there. There was a bunch of fat dudes like me out there. Fucking playing back. Fucking. These were the tickets. Yeah. Let me see what that looks like. Oh my god. Look at this. Look at this. Wow. They're pushing all that snow down the shoot.

1:49:43That's crazy. They couldn't get it out. They just let you could pick your seat when they did the game. So did they play in that snow? No. They would have. How would they know where the lines are? They come out after every play and blow off the lines. Oh my god. That's hilarious. They only blow off the line so you're running through snow. What's like the heaviest snow they've ever played in? I'll show you.

1:50:09Look at that. That is crazy. And it's buffalo. That's crazy. You know, there's something very American about that. You have to play in the snow. I mean, that is the game, right? Because it baseball. They're like, oh, I told you folks, it's raining out. Can't have these players get wet. Not this. Why don't they play baseball in the rain? Play it in the fucking rain. What are you doing? Play the game in the rain. Who gives it shit? Oh, it's a rain day. We called it for rain. Fuck me. Wow. It's snowing. Last week. It's zero degrees. And those guys are playing football. Last week in Kansas City was the coldest football game of all time.

1:50:54How cold was it? Young J. Mine outside. I think the winch was minus three. There was motherfuckers at no T -shirts on it. I guess like 60 people went to the hospital. Audience members. 69 people needed help from the fire department. Yeah. You know, one of the dudes that survived the Titanic. He was in the water for two hours. I think he was a chef. And the story was that he got drunk before he went in the water. He just got hammered because he knew he was going to die. And somehow or another because he was drunk, he survived. See if you can find that. I was reading this. I was like, how does that make sense?

1:51:30How a baker survived the Titanic sinking by getting really drunk. God damn you. I am bonkers. These motherfuckers. Do, do, do. There we go. Okay. So can you go back up so I could read the scroll. So it says Charles, how do you say that? Jo -Hen? How do you say that, Jimmy? Jo -Hen? Jo -Hen? Jo -Hen was one of the disaster's most unlikely survivors. And he did it thanks to industrial amounts of liquor. So this dude got super duper hammered before he went in the water. And somehow or another, it helped him survive.

1:52:09It was an almost physiologically impossible feat of survival. And according to the British Titanic inquiry, it's because the 33 year old Englishman had the presence of mind to greet history's greatest maritime disaster by getting smashed. So he knew he was dying. He knew he was dying. So he just decided to get fucked up, but he survived. In survival situations, having all that warm blood away from the vital organs means that the drinker is at a greater risk of hypothermia. However, Canadian hypothermia expert Gordon Geiss Brickt figures in the minus two degrees Celsius temperature of the North Atlantic.

1:52:48The water was cold enough to quickly tighten Jo -Hen's blood vessels and cancel out any effects of the alcohol. So then at low -to -moderative doses of alcohol, cold will win out. It says Geik -Brakt, a University of Manitoba professors performed hundreds of cold water emergency studies. With Jo -Hen would have had, however, is the awesome life -saving power of liquid courage. Alcohol remains a leading cause of humans getting into fatal situations, including freezing a desk. Nevertheless, the relaxing qualities of the drug have long been known to give humans an uncanny ability to survive trauma.

1:53:26Just reminding me of the stored deletion that passed out in the snow and her friends found her like the next day, and they brought her into she was still alive. Yeah, they're sitting right here in the ER. Cold patients who are really drunk can walk in and they're conscious at a temperature that they shouldn't be. So did your beer drunk keep you alive? Keep scrolling down a little more? That's it? No, no. Yeah. His actions might speak to a man unfazed by impending disaster, immediately upon hearing the collision with an iceberg, the chief baker leapt out of his bonk and began dispatching his staff to stalk the life -boats with bread and biscuits.

1:54:03This done, he popped back into his cabin for a drink before heading topside to help load life -boats, not only did Joaquin, whatever I say his name, Joaquin, refused his own place on a boat, but he and a, there's no man like that today, but he and a few other men became forcibly chuckling, chucking reluctant women into empty seats, likely saving their lives. He said we threw them in, he testified later, Topdeck of the increasingly listing Titanic was mostly clear of life -boats by 1 .30 AM, to most this was a panic -inducing sign that all hopes of rescue was gone, but to whatever his name is, it was a cue to head back to his cabin for another drink.

1:54:45So this dude's just getting fucked up. He sat down on his bunk and nursed it along, aware but not particularly caring that the water now rippled through the cabin doorway, wrote his story in Walter Lorde, a night to remember. Lorde was in touch with the dude before the baker's 1956 death. He said the dude then splashed topside again, where he took upon himself to begin throwing deck chairs overboard with an eye to filling the water with impromptu flotation devices. So the people could float around on the chairs, is perched, he then worked his way back to the pantry to get a drink of water, the baker's standing on the stern, when the ship broke in half.

1:55:24And yet he remembered the violent catastrophic breakup, only as a great list over to port. There was no great shock or anything, he told the inquire, so he was just hammered. Definitely moving through the swarms of people, he made it to the stern rail, the ship, exactly 2 .20am, he rode the sinking Titanic into the sea like an elevator. Whoa! As with all surviving Titanic crew members, 2 .20am on April 15th, 1912 was also the exact moment in which the white star line stopped paying him. Oh boy, the first stage of cold water immersion is known as cold shock, horrifying sensation of having the skin cool, the feelings with the Titanic's second officer, Charles Lighttowler, described as being like a thousand knives being driven into one's body.

1:56:15So how did this do survive? What did he float around on for two hours? Let's say.

1:56:24Mm. How do I get rid of him water, he said? I was just paddling and treading water for two hours. Oh my God. Malcolm Leo couldn't do that then in the movie. He just sunk in the water after two minutes. But this Leo wasn't hammered and he gave up. This dude didn't give up. He paddled water for hours. I guess he took a couple hours for them to get someone to get to them. Yeah, he's at the two hours. Which is pretty impressive that they got to them in two hours. I'm about to hold. In 1912, what was this like? 19, there's somewhere around there. Not really exact 1912, I don't know. It's the early 1900s.

1:57:02So the fact they got to them in two hours is pretty amazing. 19, 19, 20. Oh no, 107th. And yeah, okay. So yeah, 19, 12. Wow. Let me go think over a quick. Yeah, I'll go to. We're right back. Yeah. So she fell out of an airplane and she landed on Ant Hill. How big was that fucking Ant Hill? And it was fire ants? Yeah, this one here doesn't say that it was a 1999, 47 year old woman, John Murray, altitude of 14 ,500 feet. Second parachute also failed to deploy. Oh my god. Crashed into a fire and mound at more than 80 miles an hour. Oh my god. It immediately started attacking her body, which kept her alive because of the adrenaline.

1:57:57Oh my god. And then she still survived. She was in a coma for two weeks, had operations, but she's still alive, I think. Jesus. One of the, did they slow her down at all the parachutes? 80 miles an hour is pretty fucking fast. Jesus. Yeah, I don't know what terminal velocity is if you don't have one. But. Fuck parachute is broke. Fuck parachutes. I like to try it one day. I get set it up. Really? Yeah. Oh yeah, I got guys. Hi. I don't do it. You would go as I said or it? Or rush? You might not be able to. You might be too big. Too big, yeah. Yeah. I think there's a number. Like a guy was just telling us the other day on Killtony that he had to lose weight.

1:58:45I think was it for parachuting? Yeah. I think you there's a number. I think. Yeah, I think you'd be like above 220 or something like that. I don't know how to do it. I parachute with a whole pump. No, and you have to have someone in your back too. The first time you do it, this person's got to do it with you. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Fuck that. Joey Diaz. Fuck that. I'm sure it's exciting. I don't need that in my life. My life is exciting enough. This is Travis Pastrana. This is a long time ago. It's X Games promo. Did he go into the net? No, so he is, he's like the crazy crazy guy. Jump so that it'll does all sorts of stuff.

1:59:24Motocross, but I don't know if you just noticed. He jumped out without a parachute. Yeah. He's got nothing there. And he threw his can away. Except the Red Bull. But the Red Bull can is going to hit someone in the fucking head and kill him. I think it was empty. Yeah. If it's coming from space. Bro, that Red Bull can't get fucked you up. So someone has to grab him. Yeah, he ends up. It looks like that's all they did is just put his legs around him. Well, no, they gave him a parachute. No, he's just strapped. He just locked out locked onto that guy. Oh, and they go all the way down and he's like barely attached.

1:59:53Oh my god, that's so nuts. I'm sure it's exciting, but fuck that, right? Come on, Joe. Every once in a while, you gotta do something. I'll be comfortable with range. Yeah, yeah, that's not bad. But I wouldn't got, you know, I wouldn't have never dreamed of that. Shit, but it makes you a better person. You gotta do this little shit like that. I guess. I don't know if you have to do that. That's not a little shit. Jumping out of a fucking plane with no parachute. That's not a little thing. I mean, you gotta fucking get a ride on something after a while. I think that's a big thing. I would advise you not doing that one.

2:00:27No, no, no, no, but you know, you gotta try shit. I got it. You know, I still remember going to Colorado when I was 19 and people go to you, want to go skiing and I go fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I'll never ski skiing this. That you hurt your, you break your legs until I got up there, Joe. I was so lonely on Christmas day, I go fucking, let me go get some skis and go up there. Really? And it would change my life. And ever since that, I'm like, you know, every once in a while, listen, it's not going to work out. It's not like I get ski now. And no fucking way. But at least I got to do it.

2:01:02The thing about skiing is everybody tries to go on harder courses than you can control. You have to really learn how to talk. You gotta live there. Or you gotta go there every, it's like anything else. You wanna get good at stand up, you gotta show up and do the dance. You gotta get to whatever. Weight lifting, whatever. It's the same thing. Well, also, there's a lot of people that try skiing that don't do anything else. No. And the worst thing is when people say to me, I'm going skiing, they haven't done anything. Yeah. They haven't done anything. First of all, you go to Aspen. I used to be a fucking security fucking driver up there, okay?

2:01:34I'd see the people that would come in, the amount of alcohol, the amount of shit. Let me tell you what happens. After one day of skiing, if you're not skiing consistently, bro, you use muscles you haven't used before. I don't care how many squats you do in kettlebells. Let's go skiing. Just three times down a medium hill. The next day you'll go fuck this hurts in here, my hamstrings hurt. Different things hurt. They use different fucking muscles. For sure. When you ski. So people go up there, that's not a, you gotta prepare for that shit. But I lived in a snow mass. So it was like going to a summer camp.

2:02:08I got to ski every day. Whether it was two runs before work or three runs after work. So you get good. You get used to it. The falls become easier. The next thing you know, you're up there with no winter jacket. Fuck, I don't even know fucking winter jacket. This will do a hood and sweatshirt. It's great. Do you ski without a helmet? That wasn't even helmets for skiing when I was skiing. This is 50 fucking years ago. You went up there, you know, and then it was just something that I never thought I would do like white water rafting. That shit is great up there, you know. You go down from Aspen all the way down to Glenwood Springs and shit.

2:02:45I loved all that crazy stuff. You know, that was, but I don't like camping. Because you can't wash your pussy. Okay, I'm not gonna sit with you in the tent for four days with a stinky asshole. That ain't an adventure for me. If you want to go camping, I'm like a white camper. I want a shower. I want a restaurant. You know what I'm saying? There's something on the location. There's those things. But I always wanted like bungee jump one time or something. Something out of a plane, just something. Nothing to have to be, you know, I jumped off a cliff into water, you know, 20 feet, whatever. But just for somebody to say you could jump off that cliff in Hawaii and land and you got 100 feet under you, nothing's gonna happen to you.

2:03:31Fucking try. You can if you fuck up. You land wrong. I don't know if someone will land on their ass. They land on their ass instead of straight and they fuck their back up. No, you're done. You're done. But that's funny what you said before about somebody throwing a can up in the sky. Yeah. That red bull can, that's 15 ,000 feet in the air. Dog, I almost got arrested when I was like 10, for almost killing the dude in Puerto Rico. I went to Puerto Rico and my parents, my mom and the other parents left us alone and went out. And we started throwing fucking ice off the balcony and shit. And we kept throwing it and throwing it.

2:04:06And next thing you know, I heard an ambulance and fucking cops were knocking on all the doors and they fucking, they knew it was us. The guy was on the floor, fucking out guy with a little fucking ice cube from the 6 '4. Hmm. Yeah, 6 '4, ice cube hit you in the head. 6 '4, that'll fracture your fucking skull. Man, I used to do so many crazy things like that, Joe. When I was on 88, I was like 6 '7. I would play with these kids. There was a 205 West 88, she was on the corner. Then there was a parking garage, it's still that. And I would play in there with the kids. And then when I would get a little bit of anxiety, I would go up to my apartment, to my bedroom, and my mother used to have the 45s from the record player at the bar.

2:04:50And she would give me the one sheep take out. And I'd go by the window and I'd just throw them out. And they would come out like boomerang and come down and you, hey, stop that. And I'd just throw like 50 of them out. And then you'd hear like the kids going, hey, fuck you. They didn't know it was me. And then I would come back. What happened? Some mother fuck up their throne fucking things on me. One day I kid a kid with a thing, but then he just fell down for a few minutes. On another time, there was a place when I was growing up in North Bergen called Duratest. They just made light bulbs. But they made the long fluorescent ones.

2:05:27You know, many times I didn't have with us. We would jump in their dumpster and take all the fluorescent bulbs out and light bulbs and just hit each other with that that dust that comes out of a fucking fluorescent light bulb in the 70s. Oh my God. So we would have those light bulb wars all the time. And then we started having them from the roops and people would throw light bulbs up at us and we would throw light bulbs back. And I would put the light bulbs on the floor and then that had, we'd call them spears, you know, the fucking, we throw the fucking long fluorescent lights at them. One day I picked up a light bulb, I didn't know I picked up a rock with that motherfucker.

2:06:02And I just drew it at the kid. No, it's not the kid's looking right at me. I saw that rock just go, and he just went backwards. Now this was a pervert kid. His name was Ali, him and his brother. Like we were 10 or 12 and him and his brother were going to hookah houses. His father would take him in the city when he was like 10 or 11 and he would come back and tell us they washed our dick. It was tremendous. I hit that kid and it had so hard with that rock without knowing. It wasn't no malice intended. But when I got down there, the lump had gone up off his head like one of those fights when the guy has a lump of tumor and they had like a little pimple with blood in it.

2:06:37It was already filled up though. And then I started to say that I felt so bad. I was giggling inside, but he feel fucking bad when you do that shit. His dad took him to a brothel when he was 10 every weekend. They were Cuban, the Ali brothers, Juan and Carlos Ali. Juan was the brains of the operation. Carlos is a little bit on the slow brother. He was like the Lenny of the squirgy. How crazy is it taking a 10 year old to a brothel? Well, they were going every weekend into the city. Sixth grade, seventh grade. Jesus Christ. And tell us about all the stories. Oh my God. Fucking Mondays. Oh my God.

2:07:14Bro, we grew up with some pieces of work. Not these kids growing up today when people didn't do anything. With them. You know, I look at my daughter and her little friends. It's not going to be good for them. It's going to be weird. That's for sure. It's not going to be good for us. It's going to be weird. It's going to be completely different world. I try to, but you know, you try the hardest and you talk to them and shit. Yeah. And that's the best you could do. But the world they're going to grow up in is completely different than our fucking completely different. You know, and it's so weird that I had a shitty childhood, family -wise, but everything else was fucking aces with me, bro.

2:07:49I laughed my ass off. I had a great time. These kids, they don't, you know, one of the kids we took to the city for jingle bells told me, I never came to New York City before. She had never seen a cab before. Wow. Never saw a cab. It's only an hour away. Hour away. 55 fucking minutes, you know. Different world. Jersey is a completely different world. People have this idea that New Jersey is like real similar to New York, like the Bronx or something like that. New Jersey is very rural. Very rural. But I think I found out. Let's have young Jamie check it. Yeah. Jamie, where's the most horses in the United States?

2:08:26A question in state. If that's New Jersey, that's not so. That's fucking crazy. Listen, bro, Jersey has Newark beyond Amboy. Don't get me wrong. You'll get fucking killed in Camden, Camden, Pansochen. You know, Jersey City is getting bad. Northburg is not all good. You know, they just had a couple murders and Hoboken. It's not New York City per se. But it has cities. Action still fucking happening. Yeah, there's cities, but it's a lot bigger than people think it is. What's that? New Jersey. Bro, I'm in shock. Yeah. I'm in shock. How big of this? I never fucking knew that. People think it's real little.

2:09:04You drive through it real quick and that's next to you knowing you're in Philadelphia. No, that's only one way. Like if you look at the entirety of the state and how much of it is actual rural, you know. New Jersey has the most horses per capita. Ten horses per 1000 people. What I tell you. Wow. I told you, if you thought I knew that, I think it's Kentucky. You know, you know what also they have? What? The highest population in black bears. Who? New Jersey. New Jersey, yeah, but that's up north, dog. And then I'll fuck around up there. The barrels. Yeah. They're down south too. I haven't heard of it.

2:09:39They're any Rutgers. One of the students from Rutgers got killed by a bear. My daughter said she saw a bear one day when we were driving a little back. Yeah. You know, who knows? Oh, they're there, Joey. Far Rockaway. There's videos of them and Far Rockaway, like fighting on this street. It's crazy. These giant bears. They're so big and they're fighting over like garbage cans. They're knocking each other over. They topple down into a fucking mailbox. They're out into the street. This guy's sitting in his car filming these like 400 pound bears going to war with each other. In the middle of a like a crowded suburb, cars are stopped.

2:10:14You ever seen this? No. Find that video. The video's fucking bananas because you're looking at these giant predators that are fighting each other over territory. In the middle of people's cities and these people aren't freaking out. They've just decided. And this is like before they stopped the bear hunt. When the new governor got into place, one of the things he was running on was he's going to stop bear hunting. And he got in and he did. He stopped bear hunting. They restarted it. Yeah, they restarted. After a couple years ago. Yeah, you got the population got a control. Yeah, it was already out of control.

2:10:47You don't know what the fuck you're doing. Look at these two. Joe, I mean this is someone's fucking yard. Look at the size of these fuckers. And they're just duking it out in front of a mailbox while this guy's car is parked. I mean, this is nuts, man. Fighting over a female. Fighting over a female. Look at all the further pulling off of each other. I mean, that's in New Jersey. You know, that's not Montana. That's New Jersey. New Jersey is the highest numbers of black bear per capita. Are they bad? They're not good. So not good. Not good to have that many of them. It kills everything. They'll kill small dogs.

2:11:28They'll kill your deer population. They'll kill a lot of the things that you like. They're going to cannibalize each other for sure. If they get to certain numbers, they already do that. The males already kill cubs. They're monsters. They're fucking monsters. They're not teddy bears. I mean, they're cool. It's nice to have. It's nice that they exist. I wouldn't want to eradicate them, but you have to keep them in control. Now, do you know that I'm closer to Philly than the Atlantic City? Yeah. I'm 44 minutes from Philly. Yeah. And I'm an hour five. No, no, no. You should do a residency in Philly.

2:12:01No, that's the move. That's the move. That's the move. I love Philly. Philly's awesome. Bro, I go to basketball games. I go to baseball games there in Philly. I had a fucking great time. Yeah, you could just do a couple days a week in Philly. Don't you want to do that? Last time I went to Philly. I went with a bunch of kids and their parents. And I look over and fill a dough for you. And I swear to God, again, there's no aid from me. I see two guys swapping spit in the chat. I didn't say a word. I go, I wonder how long this is going to last. Bro, they don't play in Philly. They say shit to you.

2:12:35What were they saying to these guys? Not good things. Get the fuck out of the seats. There's kids around here. Oh, wow. Nasty motherfuckers. This one black dude was going off. Wow. Oh, you know, another time I saw, I went to a game. I don't know what I saw. And they just don't play in Philly. They had a baseball move to do that in a sports field. I felt he was a little fucking rough, bro. I don't have one time I did a show in Philly. I didn't even go on when I finished. I just jumped into the audience. There was no sense of going in the back. Because they weren't going to have it. They were going to kick that door down.

2:13:13There was no sense of me going in the back. They weren't going to be, I just jumped on to the audience. They caught me. And they was just do whatever you need to do. You guys are fucking great. Yeah, Philly's a fun city. It was always a good place to go through. Always a good place for pool too. Think about the things that come out of Philly. A lot of boxers, a lot of pool players. It was always good pool halls in Philly. They still have a lot of them. Yeah, Fusco still has a place. Jimmy Fusco, or was it Jimmy or Pete? About one of those guys who was a top level pool player. How to place in the CFAFUSCOs pool hall.

2:13:55I know I played there with a preacher. I played there with Tommy. Probably took me to the cop I know from Newark. Took me to a place one night to see where a Jackie Gleason used to do comedy there. Really? Fuck yeah, it's still there. Some bar. It's like fucking, they renovated it. Here, Fusco's the spot. Which Fusco owns that? Jimmy Fusco died. Okay, scroll up. It said he died 2017. Yeah. But great, great fucking old school pool, real pool hall. It's just how crazy that area, how much, you know, it's like I finally watched the show. Because I read a book and then I said, let me watch the show.

2:14:44I was a boardwalk empire. I don't know if you will watch that or whatever. I watched a little bit of it. It's good. Very interesting. Yeah. Because very interesting. It went. It took the history of Atlantic City and then the last two seasons, it touched on the hags. And the hags were like fucking huge. And that's where I went from my surgery one time when I was a kid. Margaret Hague. No, no, no, no. That's where you gave birth to kids. That's, I went to Christ hospital. Margaret Hague was a hospital in Jersey City and they were all related. So I just followed that and I just started reading all that Philadelphia shit like this town by me called Highland.

2:15:23Highland, New Jersey. They just built a ferry to take you from Highland to New York City. That's where fucking Vito Genevieve's lived. Hmm. I didn't know this shit like that. All those towns have a rich fucking history of just everything. Cool. You know gangsters, fucking food. The fucking food down in Jersey now is fucking tremendous joke. Yeah, it's different kind of food. That East Coast Italian food. That's different. But everybody has a different type of East Coast. Like if you go to El Nino, they got the nice chicken, they got the pasta, the steaks, and that's that place. I go to another place.

2:16:00I just go there for the fucking, I got an Austrian just for the, what do you like? The beans with the grass to let us pass the rule. The other one. Escaro and beans. Oh, okay. Toad. This time's I work out and I just go straight there. Yeah. Water with lemon and a bowl of Escaro soup with beans. And they put little bits of fucking prosciutto in there. That hammers are, oh my god, Joe. I don't even need the fucking sauce and spaghetti. I'm on to a different, and my neighbor, out of all those restaurants, bro, they're all great. But my neighbor, Jody Pumapali, I cook all those motherfuckers. Really?

2:16:41Yeah, Jody Pum is the baddest motherfucker I know. She don't cook much because she works in the city. I gotta go over there and torture her. Say Jody, what the fuck? I'm in the moveable and there's some off the chain, bro. Off the chain, you know. Yeah, these would be a lot of good places near white plains. And then you went to that sandwich place. He gave you a shout out the other day. Oh, yeah, Jean Ardelli. Yeah. That place is great. That sandwich was fucking huge. I can't eat those no more, Joe. You can eat it once. What you do is you just don't eat anything that day. I can't, bro. Wet muts.

2:17:13I love wet muts. Yeah. You gotta give it a fucking problem. You can't eat that? There's a place that gets a place. I go to the St. Austria. When they bring the wet muts, you just put black pepper on it. Mmm. Jesus Christ, Joe. A little bit of olive oil. I think it went one time. We got that. We made it all like, oh my god. The cheese tastes so good. But that should I used to eat like prosciutto, mozzarella, with a fucking, I can't do that no more. No. Too much of a sandwich, man. Well, if you, what have you done, like, when you tried to manipulate your diet, I know you did weight watches for a while.

2:17:54And you lost a bunch of weight. But then, like, have you ever tried different kinds of diets? Have you tried like keto or low -car? I would do the keto, but I can't eat that much meat. And then I could, like this morning, I got three pieces of bacon I ate too. You know, something about eggs. What about eggs? Deed eggs? Yeah. Like a motherfucker. Well, if you wanted to try something that would help you lose weight, just eliminate all the sugar and bread.

2:18:26So, you know, I've been working a lot on fasting. Yeah. It took me a while. How long did you do? I could eat at seven. And then not eat lunch before. I'm down to two meals a day in a protein shake. That's what I'm down to right now. I don't eat. That lunch was huge. When your plate came, I was like, I hope that's not my fucking plate. I hope even though those ribs look fucking good. They're good. To mend this, I can't do it no more. I could get like an eight ounce, ten ounce steak. Now, that's the most meat I could eat at night. You know, today I had turkey and the brisket. It was fucking delicious.

2:19:04I eat avocado toast for breakfast. Three eggs of avocado toast and a fruit bowl. That's my breakfast, though. That's good. That's a good start. That's a good way to get going. That's in my world. That's great. Yeah. Why I come from? Yeah. Six eggs, white bread, a stick of butter and a pack of bacon. And then after an hour after that, go to McDonald's before 11. Yeah. That's how I say that's a big fucking change, my friend. It's a big change. That's a big change. The big one is if you can just cut the bullshit out. Instead of the avocado toast, dude, go with something else. Just cut that bread out.

2:19:39I know that'll help you out. I like avocado without the bread. Good. Even the avocado, though. My avocado is great for you, but it's just the bread is just never good for you. Not good. And that's why I say, now they're making these sandwiches, bro. And Jersey, they're like this. It's a fucking... Animal side. Wet morts, chicken cartilage. Yeah. You know, something else. And you know, Joe, smash it together and you can barely get your mouth around it. And that fucking Simulina bread. I'll stab pre -motherfuckers for that. That shit is good. And that's the one thing, though, that nylon motherfuckers did not out my area.

2:20:12Because they brought some serious food into Jersey. Yeah. And I mean, serious. There's a deli and satin island called Rollcrown. Joe Rogan, they're chocolate bread. When people, the lady brings them up. Thank God, they're not in my fucking name. Chocolate bread. Chocolate Italian bread. What does that... What I just said, it's Italian bread with little pieces of chocolate in it. All through the bread. And then they have prosciutto bread. And they have mozzarella bread. And they have... Wow. Talked my neighbor. One night I was in the basement getting high by myself and I'm like, man, I could eat something.

2:20:50And then something made me go outside and I saw a loaf of bread. I'm like, what the fuck is this? I brought in a sandwich. I've Joey, a chocolate bread from Staten Island. My mother brought it for you. I brought it in the house. I took a bite of that motherfucker. Holy shit. She goes, did you like it? I go, did I fucking like it? It was fucking tremendous. Chocolate bread. Pursudo bread. Oh my God. Look at this shit. Oh shit. And listen, I do it like one piece. But you're supposed to get that, cut it and then put it in the oven and then put a... Yeah, a nice piece of chocolate. Yeah, that's me.

2:21:24Look at that motherfucker. Italian bread with chocolate in it. So you want to tell me how hard it is to be me? Get nervous. Just hearing that. You want to tell me how hard it is to be me and you're supposed to cut it and put butter on it. I just cut a piece and eat it and give the rest of my daughter and my wife. I got to get out of here. I would eat that whole motherfucker for sure. Dog. Yeah. Dog. When you walk into royal crown, they have a section just from want to dollar. What they could do with want to dollar. That's when you know you have a problem. Then they just move down the line. If you want a copper coal or everything is to kill you.

2:22:02But it's fucking delicious. But it's fucking delicious. Yeah, they don't have any of that out here. Like that kind of Italian deli. Not enough Italian. Yeah. You know, if those guys from G &R deli opened up a shop out here, they'd fucking kill it. They made those same sandwiches out here. And they import a lot of their shit from Italy anyway. But look at rails just open to Vegas. What is that? Rails just opened to Vegas. Rails. Like the famous restaurant from New York. Rails. Okay. Are they O .S.? Yeah. They have one in LA. Yeah, you could do it in Vegas for sure. But they opened up in Vegas. You know, people are spreading out.

2:22:39So that's what they did. They just opened up a Peter Lugers in Vegas. Yes, that's what it was. I'm sorry. It was Peter Lugers. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's a big deal. That place is the shit. If I'm ever in Brooklyn, I mean that Peter Lugers always go. That place. Last time I went with Ari. Oh. I called a four o 'clock fucking dinner reservation. Yeah. Let's do it. Let's do it. That place is great. They got a bad review. I'm like the New York Times, something like that. And me and Ari had just gone there. And we're like, what the fuck are they talking about? It was fantastic. It was so good. The steak comes over.

2:23:16It's crackling. The butter's dripping all over it. You take a slice of it. You look it's perfect. It's a perfect steak. And you get in the smell from the plate. The plates coming out of the oven where they finish it. And you're like, oh, don't touch the plate. It's hot. Okay. It's fucking amazing. Amazing. That place. It's right there. It's easy to get. I really got video on them. There's a video, like a documentary on how they pick their cattle and how they, there's like a victim, a documentary on steak. And the Peter Luger part is like a big part of it. Because these people are trying to figure out why the fuck are these steaks so good.

2:23:52Like people from other countries were coming to study how Peter Lugers making their steaks. Yeah. That fucking place is tremendous. So this is a, they take you through the entire step. Like how much they age it, what they do, and they go to how they treat it. So they get it down to the size and they trim it. I mean, they've been doing this shit for a hundred years. Peter Lugers is from the 1800s, I think. Like when did that place open? Who showed us that? I had a credit card from Peter Luga. I don't know. Somebody we hung out. They're dead. See, look, they just put salt on it. That's it. And they get it in one of those broilers.

2:24:28So they have those broilers with a flame as above the steak. You know, so it's not like direct heat on the steak where the fat is dripping down. You get flare ups. No, the flame is above the steak. And then they flip it. And then they slice it up and then they put it on a plate. And then once they slice it up and put it on a plate, then they put it in the oven. And they finish it in the oven. Oh my goodness, dude. See, they do it like that. They put it on a plate, finished dirt motherfucker. And then when they pull that bitch out, it's just oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... Oh! So that's her right now setting it up.

2:25:09And then they bring it out to these people. Look at that, they put the drippings on there. Come on, son. Come on. It's sensational. Should we get out of here? Are we done? No, no, no, I was just looking at him. My door was at me a picture. I fucking sledding. Is it snowing in Jersey right now? Fuck, six in the come on in. When I woke up this morning, I already had a notice that they closed school. School was supposed to be a half day, but it started snowing at six in the fucking morning. And they went, it's still snowing, bro. I love snow days when I was a kid. They were the best. That's when you hustle.

2:25:42That's when we made money. You made money, but you also get to stay home. You look out the window, you're like, fuck, yeah. No school. I ain't doing that. But tonight, shit. Yeah, I get the fuck away from me. Because they wouldn't now they tell you that they do it online. Now you have to do your homework online. These kids they tell you the day before. There's no action. With us, we had to wait till like 11 .30. Then you got to call from somebody, hey, my dad just, yeah. They're gonna cancel school. So fuck that parent paper. Those are the best we get to call from people, you know? Dude, school's canceled.

2:26:11Fuck, yes! How do you know? Because my dad just didn't have the fucking down. You gotta take people's word for it. There was times when we thought school was canceled. It wasn't work. Are they fucking serious? And then you feel like for sure they're gonna cancel. Look at the snow. They're gonna cancel. And the snow stops. And school's still on. And you're like, your mother. Yeah, but that was a lot of days when we grew up where it snowed. But they didn't give a fuck. They were going to school. It had to be bad. It had to be bad. Now they just get the thread of snow. It's kind of canceled. You wake up the next day and there's an engine.

2:26:44You're like, what the fuck are these people doing? Bro, that joint from the microphone. So you can hear it. Because I can't hear you. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, there you go. No, so that's the problem that you... Do you ever roll blunts or do you only roll joints? You know I got a pneumonia last summer. Did you? Yeah, that's why I have a hard time breathing now. How'd you get pneumonia? I had no fucking idea. Nominia, rather. Nominia. Joe, everything was going great. Yeah? What happened? Something? Oh, I was getting short and this would breath. The fuck? So I went to the doctor. The first day told me I had a kidney stone.

2:27:23Then I went and got a scan for the kidney stone. There was no kidney stone. But they saw something else and they made me going for a lung x -ray. And at the lung x -ray is where they fucking... Well, like, you got a fucking pneumonia. I didn't know. It took like three weeks to find that. Hmm. Bro, I couldn't walk to my mailbox show. I'd walked to my mailbox and I'd be huffing and fucking puffing. How'd you get rid of it? The blunch. No, the blunts were given it to you. How many blunts were you smoking? Two. But that's not... I'm not a cigar guy. I'm the only Cuban. I'm looking at your fucking cigar collection.

2:28:01Yeah. Before, I'm like, I'm the only fucking Cuban that has no... I love a cigar. I like Ron White gave me these little ones. These are little cigars. So if you don't want to have a whole cigar, you just want a little puff? It's little Monty Christos. And those are really good, too. Yeah. Those are the good. Oh yeah, it's good. It's good tobacco. But it's so that you don't have to finish a cigar. You just want a little puff. A little fucking cigar is too big. They get me dizzy. So, it's just a little puff. I don't know. Something was just bothering me. What else can I be doing? Yeah, that's not good for you.

2:28:33I would love for you to get healthier. And I know at one point in time, like I said, you'd lost a lot of weight. You lost... What did you lose? I mean, you must have lost close to 80 pounds. Yeah. Would you lose it at one point in time? I started it for something. But there's one time when the Weight Watchers time where it was pretty quickly. It was over like a period of 10 months. Yeah. Everybody was like, look how good Joey looks. Yeah. And don't, I still look good. Don't get confused, motherfucker. For 60? I still look fucking good. You had a hard... I still look like Haudiogbon right now. You've had a rough 60.

2:29:09I mean, you have a 60. You put some fucking miles on your wheels. It was 60. You know, yeah, I didn't know what my life was about, but I read that fucking... And I wrote that book. And then I read it and I was like, I gotta take a breathaly. Yeah. Even extraordinary life, my friend. And that's why when I moved to Jersey, I said, you know what, man, it's time for me just to chill for a while. I wanted to get out of the train of thought I had a comedy. That old mentality I had, I wanted to give that a breather. I couldn't get away from it. I couldn't get away from it. So for once, I wanted to start fresh.

2:29:41I looked at it, what I needed to do. I know everybody kept asking me, do you quit comedy? No. No, I'm just taking a fucking breather. It's not the wrong way to take a breather. Just taking a fucking extended breather. I want to know what the fuck happened the last 40 years. Is that okay? I started this journey in 1983. And on Sunday, 2020, I'm at the store with a bunch of fucking killers. I wasn't pre -programmed for this. I was pre -programmed to be in jail by now. What am I doing at the store with a bunch of fucking killers doing comedy? And they're talking to me and we're laughing. It's not like I didn't earn it.

2:30:14It's not like my mother owned the fucking joint. And she just gave me a spot there. We earned those things. You know, what the fuck happened? I was a guy that was in prison. They told me that it's not going to work out for you. And here we are today. So I had to go process this shit. You know, I had to go process a lot of fucking things. You know, when I was a kid, my mother died. I had a lie to myself, children.

2:30:42I was just going to wait for a couple of years. I had to lie to myself. When my mother died, I had to say she's just leaving for a couple of years. That's the only way I could deal with it. She's just going away for a couple of years. I'll bump into one of a couple of years. When I went back to Jersey, she'd talk and hit me. Like I lied to myself all those fucking years. It was a coping mechanism. It was a coping mechanism I used just to soothe my fucking soul. I got back to Jersey. I went up to the cemetery and then I go, what the fuck is this? She never came back. And I was like pissed about it.

2:31:17Like retarded. Like she never came back. And I'm like, Joey, what the fuck did you do? You buried yourself in that shit that she was going to bump into? I'm burglary and abin him. Well, some shit. You know. Yeah. So that was hard. You know, a lot of things. It's good to take a break off comedy just to really try to figure out what your actual perspective really is. Listen, bro, I was an environment that I don't thrive in. I was an environment with a lot of fake mother fuckers. I was an environment where I grew up around people who were very dangerous. The people I was around in LA were more dangerous.

2:31:54Because I knew where I stand with these other people. With these people in LA, these agents, you don't know where you stand. Yeah. You have no fucking idea. Well, you kind of know what they are. You know what they are. You know, it's like that's the old Mike Tyson expression. It's okay to have a snake in the room as long as you keep the lights on. You know what they are. You know, you just have to know who you are. And I think you were coming from this place where you almost felt like you didn't belong. You know, and I remember when I first met you. That was Joey criminal days. It was fun, man.

2:32:28Because I remember I met you and I was like, oh, finally, there's someone like people that I used to know. Like you were like the first guy that I ran into like, oh, this is like Joey from the pool hall. This is like Joey from the boxing gym. This is like you were like the people that I knew from the East Coast, the wild people that were fun. You know, and you know, people didn't like you. People were scared of you. I was like, that guy is great. I mean, it's kind of funny over the years because I had arguments with agents about you. He doesn't have any talent. Like, you're out of your fucking mind.

2:33:02I'm like, you're out of your mind. I go, I know what comedy is and he makes me laugh harder than anybody I've ever seen. So he's wild and crazy. Yeah, that's what you get. That's the kind of person that does that kind of comedy stupid. You don't even know what you sell. You're out of your selling comedy. You don't even know how it's created. It's created by wild people. Whether it's wild, intellectually, wild, physically, just a different group of people that are going to create something that's going to make you laugh that hard. You know, man, it was fucking crazy. Those first couple of years there.

2:33:32And how people would look at me. I remember one day, an agent stole a check from me and I said, I'm going to come down and get it. When I got there, the door was shut and he stuck, he stuck the check on the fucking wall. And said, don't come in here. And then 10 years later, he signed me again. I bumped into him in a vet place and we were talking. He was like, I'll come back. That's funny. I had a hard time there for a while. Well, you were raw, man. You were raw, dude. Gotta be. You reminded me a lot of my friend, Johnny. You know, because Johnny was like you. He was like a brilliant guy that struggled with substances.

2:34:05Brilliant guy. Johnny was like one of the smartest people I'd ever met. It was a pool hustler. And so I didn't know anybody like, it's just a dangerous dude. It's just always doing wild shit. I didn't know anybody like that over here until I met you. And then I met you. I was like, oh, all right. Because in comedy, we were getting a lot of people that were essentially auditioning for sitcoms. What they wanted to do was figure out a way to transfer what they're doing on stage into a lucrative sitcom. Everybody wanted that. That was the golden ring. Everybody wanted the sitcom. And everybody wanted a development deal.

2:34:41So a lot of guys really only had 10, 15 minutes. And that 15 minutes was just them sort of like setting up their life for a sitcom. It was almost like they told you where they were from. You know, I was born in Brooklyn, New York. And that's not there basically like doing an audition for a sitcom on stage. We were doing it. We were doing a different thing. We were doing a different thing. We were doing what our idols were doing. We were doing what prior did. We were doing what Kinnis did. We were trying to find our path with what we think. I didn't appreciate that. When people said you have to present the set on stage that the agents could see a network TV show.

2:35:15What are you talking about? I'm going to tell you something else too. When I get this residency, when I start kicking with gas with comedy again, not podcasting no more. How come? Never again. I'm ending this career as a stand up. But you can do both. I don't want to do both. You don't like it. I want to end this career. As a fucking stand up. But you are a stand up. No. No. All this other shit. No podcast. And all this shit. No ads. Let's do the last two years. Yeah. Fucking stand up motherfuckers. That's why I want to do a residency. That's why. Because I'm ready just to do stand up. My phone ain't ringing for acting.

2:35:54Listen, you just come here and do podcasting. My phone. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, always. And if you want to stay here and do a residency here, you could do that too. Absolutely. I was going to talk to you about it. Maybe come one hundred percent. Do three. Bro, do that little boy room. That room is. I heard it, man. Fucking tremendous. It's magic. Jim Florentine. It's magic. That room. That room is magic. It's magic. It's a magic little room. And that room tells you what's real and what sucks. Like the OR. Yeah, just like the OR. Like the OR. It's like a little bit of the OR and a little bit of the belly room.

2:36:24Like it's like the belly room had sex with the OR and it created the little boy. And then the main room had sex with the OR and created the big boy or fat man. The big room is like a combination of the main room and the OR. It's just intimate enough but also big enough. And because you're big laughs. What's the main room set? 250. And 110. So that's it. That's it. That's it. That's why it's so good, dude. See now, it's a little park. A little park. A little park. Some other club changing shit. Oh, I'm 100 feet. We got a self -ticket. The whole setup from the very beginning of this club was never to make money.

2:37:06It was always, if I can break even, I'm happy. I want to make the best environment for developing stand -up comedy. For both professionals and for amateurs. And the best place for people to see it. Where they can see like world -class people coming in every weekend. Like this weekend is Joe DeRosa. He's there tonight and tomorrow. We've had Louis CK is the one that helped me design the place. Dave Chappelle came by the first week. We have Shane Gillis there all the time. Ron White's there all the time. Brian Simpson's there all the time. It's just killer after killer after killer. No, I'm killing Tony's there every Monday night.

2:37:42I mean, we got it. We got it cooking exactly at the right temperature. It's perfect. The environment is super positive. Everybody's doing really well. All the door people doing really well. Everybody's killing it. Now who's in the main room tonight tonight's Joe DeRosa. And who's in the little room. That's a good question. But you could do a set 100%. They're already said if you want to do a set. Come on down. Yeah, let's keep what's going on. Yeah, this is like a bunch of people stop by. Tony Hinchcliffe will do a set. He'll stop by and do sets. People are dropping in all the time. Like, Jonas pompus came up last night.

2:38:13Paulie Shore was there on Tuesday night. Paulie's killing it. Paulie's killing it. Paulie's loose and silly and having fun now. He's had a lot of fun. He came off stage and I grabbed him. I go, do that. It's as funny as I've seen you in a decade. I go, that was so good. And he was like, you see me at the store and I'm tense there. He goes, it's just like, because it was such a part of my childhood. And they kind of pushed him out. Did you see this little thing? Yeah. Oh, he's playing Richard Simmons, right? Yeah. So they announced that he's going to be in a full movie. But they also put out the same time this little short, which is interesting.

2:38:50It's only a minute long. Paulie's a different dude now. It's cool to see. He's a sweet guy. He's funny. He's a sweet guy. He's a sweet guy. I'll check him with him. You're way it doesn't matter. If you like yourself, you're going to be fine. But I've been where you are right now. He's came from a meme online. That's hilarious. I just want myself, every part of myself. And I think I can show you how to get here. Please welcome Richard. Oh, yeah. That's it for this. Wow. So it's going to be a real movie. Yeah. He does look like him. He looks a lot like him. Yeah, he does look like him. And Paulie can fucking act.

2:39:36Paulie can act. I know he's done like the silly movies. I can see no man in shit. But you give him an opportunity to do something like that. A lot of comics can act. Bro, he's been around this game forever. 50 fucking years. Forever. He guys are all covered. Yeah. He's so I'm coming. He's seen what happened to him. It's also he's evolved as a person. He's like a fun person to be around now. He's very cool. Very cool. And he's really comfortable at the club. He's been at the club at Tana Times. He did a weekend there recently. And he was just there, Tuesdays, at Wednesday. Doing the little room in the big room.

2:40:10He's having a good time, man. He's like loose now. Like he did Killtonia Monday night. He sang a song. He sang Bad to the Bone. It's fun. Were you there? Yeah, I was there. I brought Matt, Lichtenberg. Okay. Down to Killtonia. So I could check it out. Went to dinner and then I took him to the club. Monday night special there. That's a special show, man. Harlan Williams was on fire. Oh my god. Harlan was there last weekend. And he was there for Killtonia on Monday. He was on fire. He was on fire. It's amazing. It's just the vibe of the club. It's so fun. I'm really proud of Tony and Red Band for what they did.

2:40:51Dude, they sold out Masses Square Garden two nights in a row. They sold out the HEB center here. Two nights in a row. They sold out Big Arena's all over. They're going to sell out and Los Angeles. They sold out a 7 ,000 seat theater in an hour. It's crazy. It's crazy. They're killing it. They're killing it. And that show is different every night. Every night. You can go to two shows in a row. You're not going to see the same show. It's a totally different show. So like, you know, they can come into a town and do three, four nights. Easy. Easy. Easy. That's really crazy. The fucking garden. Yeah.

2:41:27The garden. It's amazing. Two nights in a fucking row. I still remember Tony telling me this. Ten years ago. Eight years ago. That is what he wanted to do. So, who knows the handbrake? He is the best at hosting that kind of a show. Nobody better. He's the fucking best. He's the best ever at it. He's so quick. And he's such a mean little fuck. He's a mean little fuck. He's a mean little fuck. He's a mean little fuck. But he's also super supportive if you're good. You know, and it's a great platform for standup. Because there's no woke bullshit. There's no ideology. There's no fucking playing and pandering.

2:42:04You got one minute. You got one minute. One minute. And the currency is funny. Can you be funny in a minute? It doesn't matter if you're white or you're black or your trans or your gay or your straight or your... No one gives a fuck. Are you funny? You have one minute. And they take everybody. Anybody out of that fucking hat. You can't bribe your way into that hat. People have tried. I've seen it. I've seen people say, listen, could you get my banker once to come? Tony's like, nope. Nope. I don't care who's asking me. Donald Trump could ask him. I'm like, nope. Nope. That fuck, that's a holy bucket.

2:42:40That bucket is 100 % randos. Dig in there. Bob Wilson. And Bob Wilson comes out and he had no idea he's coming out. And he's like, ooh. And you see those people, they do one minute. And the band's there. And the audience is there. And like some of them, it's their first time ever doing standup. Did you do a minute? No. Could I? Yeah. I could, but I have never. We did three to get into the store. Yeah. I had to do three, then ten, then she made me. Yeah. But it was three. How long did you take for you to get in? I broke the record. Yeah. How long? I got the LA January 29th of 1997. And I was a regular February 19th, 1997.

2:43:24Wow. That's pretty quick. That's quick. I'd have to lick nobody's balls and nothing. Stand up. I'm a table referred to me. Stand up. I'm in see ya. And somebody else, I forget who it was. And Scott called me and he goes, I've heard good things about you. I'm going to showcase you, but it's going to be in about six months. And I, knowing me and my criminal, I go six months. I don't even know if I'm going to make this six months. And he goes, okay, you got a showcase. We'll let you know when two weeks later, he called me. And he goes, I got a three minute spot that opened up. You want to come down tonight?

2:44:02Yeah. Came down there, was patrified and midsy. She watched you first set. First set. Watch me. Came on. Shook a hand. Thank you for the opportunity. I thought I was going to pass out. Wow. I thought it was going to pass out. Because in my mind, there was this, what was going back to being a criminal. Well, what she liked about guys like you though, is that you were raw. Yeah. She liked raw people with talent. That was her favorite thing. She didn't like people when they had already made it. She didn't like, so insightful. This place is enough for you. So I felt it was too big or any. She's like, nah, it's the place is not for you.

2:44:37She's a wild lady, man, in that regard. And that's what I do. Whenever I miss her, I think about like Corp. Whenever I think of Mitzi, I Corp. I'm thinking about you, mom, brother. It's fun being in the bar downstairs, this named after his mom. So we're in Mitzis and there's a photo of Mitzi. Just like that. Like that painting that we have in the wall in here. She saved my life, brother. She saved lives. I had no chance of being an adult, no chance of ever doing anything in my life, no chance until I walked into that fucking county club. Yeah. And she made me a regular. And when I went back the next week and said, I had 10 minutes and she was like, your regular call in Monday for spots, dog.

2:45:19I didn't know what to do. Yeah. But I knew that if I kept my nose clean, but I knew I only have like, a year or two before something happens. I had somebody with a chair. I steal something. That was my ammo. But her putting me in there made me go, okay. And it was me, Holtzman, you, we had some fucking savages there in the beginning. But if you really think about my life, I got all the great things out of my life in the county store. Everything, my daughter, everything, our friendship, everything. What did night get in the county store? We had a family there. I got a life, man. Yeah. It was a very special place for all of us.

2:45:59You know, I look at the pictures at night because they post them on Facebook of the club, the mothership from the night before when they showed up. Not when they show you fucking momoes on stage, but when they show the staff working there. When I see that young staff, I remember the great times we had on New Year's Eve and Christmas. And it was a family. Yeah. Gave a fuck about a Christmas tree when you're regular at the store. You know what I'm saying? Who wasn't at the store? And now they close on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Yeah. But I still remember having a spot on Christmas Day and going, people like, what type of animal are you?

2:46:34Fuck, it's a comedy store. We voted spots on Christmas Day. I did them. I always did. One Thanksgiving family. I always did spots on Christmas Day. I ate a bag of mushrooms once. I'm Thanksgiving and went up there. And the fucking purple lights had me. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how many sets I did in the original room. But now looking at it, if it wasn't for Minty's sure, because I would have left in six months. And my job was, my goal at that time, if I fail in LA, I'm driving back. I'm going to make a pit stop. I'm going to stab a few people and call them out. And then I'm going back to New York to high.

2:47:06That was my plan. That was my plan. If failure would have came in LA and I would have got thrown out of that. Well, I remember when you cracked the code. And you're a guy that I've always said, you were the funniest guy in the parking lot. And there was something that was missing in translation between you being the funny guy in the parking lot and you being the guy on stage. And you just figured it out one day. It's like one day you figured it out. It was very interesting. Becoming yourself. Yeah. Because you were like trying to do jokes before. You were like trying to do stand up the way, stand up, do jokes.

2:47:41And something happened. I think it was like a certain level of, I don't give a fuck anymore. Like where too many agents had lied to you, too many auditions had fell through, too many this, too many of that. And you're like, what am I trying to make these people happy for? And you just were yourself on stage. Like you'd almost like given up hope of the bullshit. Yeah. Golden ring. Yeah. Yeah. I never understood writing shit that had nothing to do with you. Right. You got a right shit that's close to your fucking heart and your balls. Right. Yeah, you want to, you want, I always wanted to be fucking somebody else sometimes.

2:48:16Right. I wish I wasn't dirty. I wish I was a better joke writer. I wish so many things. But what I was doing, a lot of those guys that are straight traditional stand up, wish they were doing. That guy that we keep forgetting with the redlocks, AJ Jamal. AJ Jamal. AJ Jamal. That was it. Just pop it up. Let's see where he's at. Yeah. That dude was fun. AJ Jamal. And I remember that dude he used to bother you because he was so there he is. He used to bother you that he was so funny, clean. He's done. Wow, he's like 1 ,400 followers. That's crazy. What was his last post?

2:48:56Funny fucking dude though. And great. No, no, no, I mean his last post on Instagram. And great fucking guy. That's not really his. I don't know. Yeah, that's him. It's over two years ago. Oh, wow. Over two years ago. Great guy. Great guy. I didn't like him. No, no, no, no, no. You were just it bothered you that he was so clean that you weren't cleaning and made yourself conscious. I remember you told me about that. I hated going on after that guy. He would bury me. He would kill and he would bury me. He would do it. He would bury me. And Dom made a habit of rubbing it in my face afterwards. Dom was brutal to me in those days.

2:49:32Yeah, but he was just being dumb. Yeah, no, he was being a fucking great guy. You know, no, but I did funny. I'm not not that I didn't like. I just thought that how the fuck is somebody this clean and right technical right so fucking good. Very technical. He was like, if it was Jiu Jitsu, you got a hold under the elbow. He would be right there with that elbow, not an inch up, not an inch down. Yep. He just knew his boundaries and that's what I always wanted to be. Yeah, but I became after a while. It was what I became in that original room. Yeah, you became yourself. That's what happened. I remember the day, Joe.

2:50:05I remember like one night where you on stage murdering and I was in the back with everybody over by the stairs. And then someone goes, Joe, Joey is murdering and we went into the back and you were on stage. You were just going, oh, some cocaine story. You were going off and people were dying. No, you hadn't believed what you were saying. It was so funny. So I remember one night I was on a roll. You were back there with a bunch of people. And I said that I used to date a girl and a pussy look like any months is Teddy Bear Wolf or Freak. Doug. Like when that shit started coming out of me, it was when I was so fucking fed up with the fucking, just a bullshit.

2:50:46And number one on stage, you got to be yourself. We were talking about him earlier. He was never really a traditional standup. He did all this crazy stuff in his act and that's poor mooney. Yes. You know, where Bill Hicks. I love Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks had that standupy, but he also threw something in there. Yeah. You know, it just wasn't lying to you. It was so so commentary. Yeah, it wasn't set up. Yeah. So I wanted to be somewhere in between that. That's where I ended up at. I didn't really know I'm not a good writer, but I have energy. Energy and enthusiasm will kick your fucking ass. Also, you have good points.

2:51:29You know what I call bullshit on something. Yeah. And that's what people enjoy. You call them bullshit on something and you got a lot of energy. So the energy and the enthusiasm, that fucking, that wins, bro. Yeah. You know, I always told you, I don't like going out there and going out with the towel and going like, hi, how are you guys doing? I like to come out and hit them hard just so they know. And you said it best. I like bringing Joe with me because he goes out there and he fucking cleans the room of all the bad spirits. And that's how you do it. Your fingers that day, you go, he just cleans the room.

2:52:00So he goes up there and he takes it to the hoop the first five minutes. Maybe the works or it doesn't work. He works or it doesn't all boundaries get destroyed. Destroyed the first five minutes because why fuck around with No, Nikki Mackie. Let's go. Let me Clark on Dangerfield special. Yeah. He came out throwing heat. Yeah. Don't come out, dilly, dally in my fucking world. Yeah. Come out and fucking. Let's go. You got 10 minutes. I love to slot in the main room. I love it. And in reality, it's just you on top of a guy and you're you're who's fighting them on. I've strickling. Yeah. He's like when he went off on fucking out of sign.

2:52:37Yeah. That's what it's like. Yeah. You're just fucking kidding them with jokes and they can't take it. And then you step back and you go, oh my god, look what I've done. They're fucking laying there like bodies. Yes. They're laying there. That's the greatest. That's better than any dolly you can make. Yeah. That's about any ball lick you can make. That's about anything. It's better than everything is to see him bodies laid down. Yeah. You got to stop. You got to stop. And I learned how to stop and let them breathe. And then I paste my material like that. I wanted to paste my material where it's stop and go.

2:53:14Yeah. Take them, take them, give them a break. Give them a break and then bring them back. Bring them back up again. And then leave there. Roller coaster. Fucking, you know, that's that's the brother. Yes. All right. Next time you're here, there'll be an announcement. That announcement will be a residency in Philly. We're going to make it out. No, no, a residency at the comedy mother shit. We'll do that 100%. That's what I really want. Anytime you want. Because I think I think I need a constant week around you guys. Like, okay. But you don't open Monday. Monday, we're open every day of the week.

2:53:45But Monday's no stand up. Open Mike night. Really? Yeah. In the little room. 100%. You can go up every night of the week. Thank you for taking me with this time. So man, it's a better and shit already. Always great to see you. And tomorrow night we're all doing by the time this is out. We're doing fight companion. Now it's it right now. Joey Diaz is on the next fight companion. So it'll be Joey Diaz, Eddie Bravo, Brennan, Shaw and me. Let's fucking go. Let's fucking go. You already ratted it out because somebody already hit me this week. I didn't rattle out. They might have shot might have ratted out.

2:54:16Somebody else might have put it up. But that's us tomorrow night. I love you. Love you. Thank you. Bye, everybody.