#2128 - Joey Diaz

42:42And then they're like, look at the black lives matter thing where the girls were buying six million dollar houses. Like, what the fuck are you doing? The fuck are you doing? What are you doing? And like, oh, we use this for events. It's just that happens with so many charities and so many charitable organizations. And then there's charitable organizations like there's foundations that are set up just as tax breaks. So there's like tax breaks involved. If you have a foundation, it's a charitable foundation that works towards good causes like maybe climate change or maybe, you know, something along those lines, health, you know, the global health.

43:25And then you get involved in that. And it's a nice way to avoid paying taxes. You move money around. You put money in the foundation. You're going to move it around. You know, it's these guys that are involved in charitable organizations. The thought behind it is beautiful. Like, wouldn't it be great if people donated all this money to charity and we could fix a lot of things. But what you're really doing in a lot of ways is you're pumping up the business of these charities. And then they pump up their advertising revenue. They pump up their social media profile, their campaigns, their this, their that.

43:59And then they get co -opted. They get co -opted by companies, corporations, pharmaceutical companies, different mandates and narratives that they'd like to promote. And next again, you know, charitable organizations are a part of the propaganda machine. And it's all being funded by enormous amounts of money. And most of that money does not go to the actual cause itself. It sucks. Have you ever seen the charts? I will pull up a chart of what where the money goes. Try to find out where the, see if there's a good chart that shows like when I was various like Red Cross or these different. I bumped into an unonce when I was going to Catholic school.

44:35And she told me that when people were looking for you for help, like when they're on the side of the street and they're asking you for help, that can be Jesus in the skies. So I fucked my world up. So I started donating as a kid. The first person I donated to was the black kid with the flies on them that they sent you to picture. Yeah. So I started. He wrote a letter in the, Kinesyn had a bit about it. And then I never got nothing after that. I'm writing letters. Don't please write me back. I want to know that the kid made it to the sixth grade. I was so fucking pissed as a kid. And then I would do the heart association walks.

45:06Like that was my shit. And trust me, I skamed off the top. I'm not gonna lie to you because I would go to my mother's bar and I'd make him like 10 bucks a mile. Come on. Right. You know, I was show up with like $3 ,000 and think I was a good kid. Finally, like half like 30. I'm like, they're gonna get light this year. I'm making $3 ,000 fucking dollars in it. So look at the red cross. What's that? That wasn't too bad. Okay. Let's see what we got here. What percentage?

45:41Okay. So this shows you all the money that comes in and how much of it actually goes to programs and how much of it goes to administration and how much of it goes to fundraising. So red cross looks pretty fucking good. Red cross shows it's like 90 % of the money goes to programs. Only 3 .5 % goes to administrative and 6 % goes to fundraising. So this is what we donated to. Remember when we did those shows in San Diego right after the fire? And I'm like, we can't take money from these people. They just had this massive file. Let's just donate all the money. So we donate the money to Red Cross because that seemed to be the best one.

46:22St. Jude's 72%. And then it gets when you start going down the line, it starts getting sketchy. These are most of these are this one. They're pretty good. Wounded warriors a little weird. 34 % back in the fundraising. Yeah. But you know, they still at least 60 % of it are close to 60 % of it goes to the actual programs. What's the worst ones though? Janna, the worst one was a different. These are different. I want to see the worst ones. Those are good ones. Red Cross has always been thought of as one of the best ones in terms of the amount of money that actually goes to the cause. These are mostly UK charities.

46:59So.

47:03Do they have American ones or world wide ones? Let's see that one.

47:13That just shows where people are spending on.

47:23The worst in terms of the amount of money that goes towards the cause. The top 10 worst charities. It says kids wish network is number one. Disabled police officers 4 .4 % goes to program expenses and 94 % goes to professional fundraising fees. That's crazy. Disabled police officers counseling center. 94 % of it goes to fundraising fees. That's bonkers. These are under Jersey. Right away you're like, oh, okay. I see what's going on. Look at the cancer survivors fund. Hey, they survived. That's the fucking, that's what they get. 9 % goes to programs. 87 % goes to fundraising. And they also just, I think a lot of time to make their name something close to like the good one.

48:16Probably a really good firefighters foundation. That's not right. And they call themselves a firefighters charitable foundation. Yeah. Only 7 % goes to the program. 85 % goes to professional fundraising fees. What does that even mean? Professional fundraising fees. But a lot of them are like that. But you got to also think, if you're going to run a charity, you got to pay people something. Kids wish network. Look at this. They raised 127 million. They paid to solicitors 109 million. And they spent percentage on direct cash aid to the actual kids is 2 .5%. 2 .5%. Look at the cancer fund of America less than 1 % went to the actual thing.

49:03Direct cash aid. But when this is direct cash aid and paid to solicitors, who's the solicitors? Who counts as a solicitor there? Is that mean paid to the organization? And then they only pay out that much to the people? Soliciting costs. I've probably tried to buy overhead. It's overhead. It's everything, right? Yeah. So it's mostly a scam. Look at the fucking international union of police associations. Look at that one. That's zero quit. 0 .5%. That's why quit. That's crazy. That's when I found that three years I worked with the cops doing donations on the phone. I got arrested. I thought it embolded.

49:46And when I went to Seattle, I did it there. And then up in Seattle, I found out what the cops were getting. I'm done. You give me 50 bucks. I'm giving you a sticker for the back of your cause. When you get pulled over, they know that you donate. And these guys were showing up in Maserati every day with two owners. And I'm like, fuck you. It's like the thing in LA with the homeless. You know, totally on the war. It set me hits of that. He told me they were getting like six figure salaries like no way. And then some of them are making 240 grand a. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Taking care of the homeless.

50:24Yeah. That is not being taken care of. And I don't do anything about it. They just, they have to keep the business rolling too. That's the thing. Once you have 20, 30, 50, whatever people making six figures, all that money keeps coming in. You have all those mouths to feed, all those mortgages, all those people. Now you have an industry. Now you have bureaucracy. And you're never getting that back. No, you'd have to have some crazy dude that comes in like who's that guy from Argentina? The guy that just became the president of Argentina with the wacky hair. That guy's amazing. He's like, everybody out.

50:59Everybody out. He kicked out everybody. He cut that budget down to nothing. Yeah. He got rid of all the bullshit. All the bullshit. It's really crazy when I work for the cops. I would, you know, I loved it. It was great. I had a great time in that office. I'd be up there smoking dope. But with the cops, nah, it was like one cop that he didn't get the fuck. I'm over here raising money for you. But even he was on the scam. Yeah. It's like, come on man. Well, when you have money that's being donated like cash that's come on. It's just, it's going to get moved around. It's like you got to help these fucking people out.

51:37You know, and look at now, you go, when I came from Cuba, when I was a little kid to learn how to do anything. The reason why I learned how to do anything was because of police athletic league. I swear to God, yeah, everything shooting, fishing in Central Park boxing program, you know, you shot pool. Who you think shot me on a shoe pool? Really? Police athletic. Yeah, right on that. 88th and Amsterdam. It's a smart move. So I was always embedded to those people always in my heart because I was a Spanish kid. They took me in over there. They fingerprinted me. They take it to the precinct. You shoot a 22.

52:15They give you the target. Oh, I give you a little thing. They give you like a little badge, you know, and you're like, ah, and so I always wanted to work for them. Like that was it. I always, you know, and then after I got in trouble, I'm like, you know, I own a debt that would be very good to me. I was, I was the guy that fucked up. So I always work for the cops. I always tried to don't, you know, get fucking people to donate for stickers or, you know, bulletproof vests and all that shit. And then we would do comedy at the benefits in Seattle, even though I got arrested six times, it never worked.

52:45They didn't fucking do anything. Well, maybe you would have got arrested a lot worse. A lot worse. What? It's crazy. When I found out, I was like, I'm out. I'm not doing this. And now, you know, you want to help out something happens. Hurricane relief. And you're like, I'm not. Right. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it because it's, you know, right. And you feel like shit, I rather see somebody get me 20. Some guys hungry. Yeah. Just go get me 20. I'm not giving leftover food or whatever. We just get the guy 20, make him his own decisions. If you want to snore at a bifant, not go. I don't give a fuck.

53:20You know, it's not my problem, but I did my job. The Red Cross seems like a good one. But also wasn't the Red Cross one of the people that was helping people map out the way to illegally enter the US. Wasn't that one of the things that the Red Cross was doing? Google that. But that could be also that the Red Cross is a legitimate charitable organization and it realizes that these people are going to do this no matter what and show them the way to do it that's safe. If they're going to do it, they're going to do it. I mean, I'm going to do it. Showing them the way that's safe to me seems like, you know, like almost an ethical thing to do.

53:57If you know that this is happening. And then providing them aid along the way so they don't die. That seems like, you know, the whole immigration thing is very complicated. You know, you came from immigrants, I came from immigrants or my grandparents were immigrants, but it's just the way they're doing it where anybody can get through is so wild. So the Red Cross has provided maps to migrants traveling towards the US border. Now, what is the reasoning?

54:33Is the Red Cross giving maps to migrants? The map of the social media is real. Different versions have existed since at least 2018 and some have been distributed by the international committee of the Red Cross. The ICRC is a consortium of Red Cross agencies, including the American Red Cross. The map is a part of an informational safety pamphlet provided by aid organizations, including the National Red Cross societies to migrants traveling to Central America. The pamphlet also includes resource information like where to find food, shelter, and medical assistance. While the map has been around since at least 2018, American Red Cross partnered with the Mexican Red Cross and others during the COVID -19 pandemic to promote these safety materials.

55:17The Red Cross logos appeared across the top of the map. The American Red Cross logo was removed in 2022 after COVID -19 partnership expired. The current pamphlet containing the map shows the current partners are the National Red Cross societies of Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador. It does not seek to encourage or discourage migration, but rather to contribute to migrating the vulnerability, mitigating the vulnerability factors of this population during the migratory route. Actually, I can live with that. I can live with that. I can live with that. That's right. Yeah. That's not encouraging people to do it.

55:51That's saying they're doing it. Let's make it so at least they have like a safe way to do it. Listen, man. This migrant situation is turning everything around. New York City, Chicago, LA, they're in a way. You know, and you know, tax money and New York's giving you $10 ,000 now, an ATM card, right? They give you $10 ,000 for your mic. Something along those lines, yeah. You know, and I don't know. There's a lot to say. Like, you know, look at the fucking vets. How they get treated. Look, you know, so I'm going to send you this, Jamie. See what's going on in Paris? They started, they were trying to kick these dudes out of the country.

56:33They started to ride at the airport. Who are they trying to kick out? Illegal immigrants. I'll show you. Jamie, I just sent it to you. Yeah. And they're like, no, we're not going. They're like, you have to go. There's too many of you. Like, no, fuck you. We're not flying. They started to ride at the airport. They were trying to deport them. And they're like, uh, uh, we're here. Listen, all I remember is one thing, Joe. And I used this and I'm not saying nothing bad about anybody. I was like this. Give me the volume.

57:07Is a full on Donnie Brook at the airport. They're beating the pretendants. Security guys are getting fucked up.

57:25This wild shit, man. So they got them over there too. They're trying, yeah, they have a lot, a lot of migrants in Europe. Yeah, it's, it's basically it happened right after the pandemic in mass. It's just massive amounts of migrants in Europe, massive amounts of migrants here. It's almost like it's on purpose. If it's not on purpose, what are coincidence? But it just seemed like there just wasn't migrants coming in. But what I was telling you before was, I think I told you last time, I saw what the Mario boat lift did to my area, Hudson County, not in 1979, but I saw it five years later. And then I saw what they were doing in San Francisco.

58:10When I got to San Francisco, 95, it was a huge Cuban population. When they were in San Francisco. So this is the people that took off for Mario in 78, 79, when Fidel kicked them out. Yes. He kicked out 160 ,000 people. We didn't have records on these people. So we didn't really know what they were about. They could just tell you I worked in construction, you know, and they didn't know. So this is that, but 10 times, right. That was 100 ,000 people, 200 ,000. This is eight million or something like that. Yeah. Right. That's come through at least. You're not going to feel this today. You're going to feel this five years from now.

58:50Well, they could feel it real soon, depending upon who the people are and why they're here. You know, the, the most troubling version is sleeper cells. The most troubling version is that there's military cells that exist here. Terrorist. Chinese are coming in. Now that growing week. Are they Chinese? Jamie, go to the video tape. Chinese buying farms. You just had somebody on here that was talking about the Chinese of buying farms. Yes, they're definitely buying farms. What do you think they doing with those fucking farms? Gray's in fucking sushi. Now they're fucking growing reefer department of Homeland Security memo first reported by the daily caller received as a part of the freedom of information act request said that more than 270 unlicensed cannabis cultivation sites in Maine were operated by Chinese nationals.

59:42Who the fuck you think you're dealing with joy? What? 275 growups in Maine and the weed is on fire up there at New Hampshire. Yes, no, they say that's the best weed right now. New Hampshire really. New Hampshire somewhere up there. New Hampshire main. They say the weed is so fucking strong. Hmm. Hmm. See that? Look at that. Yeah, they grow fucking. So what is the legalization of weed in Maine? Is it legal there? Not sure. It's legal in so many states. Maine, New Hampshire, I think. How much cannabis can I possess adults 21 years of age or older can possess up to 2 .5 ounces of a combination of cannabis cannabis concentrate and cannabis products, including no more than five grams of cannabis concentrate.

1:00:36How many plants can I grow? Maynars can grow cannabis for personal use. That's reasonable. Is that your phone? No, someone's ringing. That's you bro. It's ringing like a phone phone. You get the whole school ring on there. You pick that. Yeah.

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1:02:58In New York, call 877 -8 -Hopen -Y or text Hope -in -Y at 4 -6 -7 -369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling called 888 -8 -7 -8 -9 -777. Or visit ccpg .org, 18 and over in most eligible states but age varies by jurisdiction. Eligibility restrictions apply, new customers only, minimum $5 deposit required. One single use $3 ticket rewarded that expires in 14 days and February 28th. C -Terms at draft kings .com slash promotions. And Jersey's buck wild, right? What do you mean, with weed? I just started going to weed stores in January. I said, you know what? I got done with laughing gas.

1:03:36I got to expand my horizons to see what's out there. And the first one I went to was a Neptune. And they're pretty impressive. It's big fucking joint. I've got the name of it. It's pretty impressive. Second place I went to is 15 minutes from my house, Joe. Right by the doctor's office. And for real, holy shit. And that's when I discovered rhythm. Because I was like, listen, I made this either double. I don't want to know that Jersey fucking's wink. And everything's in container. It's completely different. And they got, I got this rhythm 36%. Jesus. And I'm like, this is me, Joe. From the, I guess this is, what is this?

1:04:17After David for probable cause. From where? From the China, the Chinese thing. And the Chinese immigrants in Maine. It says, we are in prison. Please come and save us. We are here and gives the address. No cell phones. We are abducted from China. Passports were confiscated. The boss is a woman. Five foot two, about 45 years old. No means of transportation. The manager is Asian, black hair, five foot six. A lot of marijuana is grown in the first floor. A lot of finished products. No escape from the house. Only work but no salary. I want to leave here. We tried to escape but failed. We were beaten.

1:04:54Please come and save us. Whoa. Fuck. So they got slaves working making the weed in Maine. Yeah, Shanghai. Yeah. Yeah. That's just strong. That's just shit that the boring mechanics are smoking. Isn't that crazy that there's fucking crazy? These are slaves in America right now. Growing weed for China. Let's see what this is going to go. It's fucking interesting. That's great. I saw this a couple weeks ago. I read the article. I'm like, oh, and then that guy said it on your podcast. We said about farmland. Yeah, that's fine. Farmland I didn't know was happening. Oh, fuck. You think they're doing?

1:05:31Growing fucking beans sprouts, the soy sprouts, they're going for it, Jack. Well, they're controlling farmland. It's around military bases. That's what's scary. And a lot of Chinese will coming through the border with these guys. Mm -hmm. Yeah, military age. A lot of Chinese. So let's see where this hand is getting played. Not only a lot of Chinese, but they have Chinese stops where you can go and everybody speaks Chinese along the way. And they have a Chinese restaurant. Everything's written in Chinese. Chinese signs everywhere. So they have like a very specific, organized route to get to America.

1:06:04And these guys all young fit guys coming to America. Like what are you doing? Like what the fuck is going on here? We're just basically sitting ducks. We'll wait. Yeah, we're sitting ducks. And there was a big warning today. Homeland security is warning about terrorist attacks in America. That's what scares me about this fucking election too. I'm not saying that they would do this, but I definitely think they have in the past. Like, allowed things to happen just so that they can tighten up on restrictions and laws and scare people more and get people to vote one way or another.

1:06:48Scary shit. We're looking at wave times, my friend. The weirdest, right? The fucking weirdest. And ever in your life, could you ever imagine things be so bizarre as they are right now? They've been bizarre for about five years now. You just can't believe this shit. You're hearing anything. You just say, you know what? I'm going to stick to my camp. I'm good here. It was bizarre in 2017, but it wasn't bizarre like now. This is different. This is insane. Did he get arrested? I mean, just everything. Every time. A bridge getting hit. It's something every fucking week. Every day. You know, Trump, $480 million, you know, they need it by Monday.

1:07:25I think it's just fucking. I thought Mark Cuban would bail him out. I don't know who the fuck was going to bail him out. Yeah, does that work? I think they knocked it down to 175 billion. They asked him, how's he going to pay it? He goes cash. And that is worth 6 .0 something billion because of the social deal. Right. It's all stock, I guess. Right. The whole thing, I'm not a financial guy, obviously, but I think the whole thing is liquidity. How much money do you actually have coming in? And how much is it tied up in real estate investments and holdings? And Trump's got buildings and hotels and resorts.

1:07:58And it's a lot going on. How the fuck can he pay attention all that shit? You imagine running some kind of a business empire, trying to pay attention, everything? Talk, I met him when he was fucking at a football team. Really? Yeah, he owned the fucking generals. That's how I knew where I should walk in those people. That's how I met those dudes. When was this? Fucking 85. Trump only met Trump in 85. A long time ago. Who was he like in 85? Hello, goodbye. I don't fucking know. It's not like we hung out. I was scared of him. Why? Because it was like, I told you when I got out of jail, I was supposed to have a job selling sighting, indoors and saddles and electrical equipment and indoor salesman in Jersey.

1:08:43And when I got out of prison, I go, I'm out. Can I come take the job now? And he goes, I can't. We're going out of business. And I go, what happened? He goes, Trump put in a built something. He was going to these little hardware stores like ours, policy or fuck ourselves, were done. I knew this in 88. What do you mean? At that time, supposedly, he would build something. It's like you come into somebody, a little restaurant and go, and I want to build my own fucking stake. And you know, he would go to people and say, I'm going to build this and then use your lumber or whatever the fuck. And since there's so much with contractors, the subcontractors and subcontractors, they would step their bills.

1:09:29They weren't paying their bills. Really? Yeah, this one out of the line. You can look it up. This isn't something, you know, and that's all I remember from Trump. I met him in 85 and I fucking, that was my only thing with Trump. You know, if you're from New York, you know who he is, you've been hearing the name. Yeah, I remember hearing about this from you, actually, now. You were telling me that there was, with contractors, they had stiff, small contractors. Small contractors and then we'll go downhill, you know, run down else. And now I gave you all the doors I had for your project. Trump just wasn't building one house with one window.

1:10:07I'm giving you everything on the arm. Yeah, he gave me a deposit. Maybe sometimes not. Maybe I'm so excited to do business with Trump. I got such a small place that I forget everything. You know, whatever the fuck happens. Yeah. So that's what happened, 88. I mean, I don't know the whole story, but he mentioned Trump. That's all I remember from that fucking guy. I would also imagine if you're doing some big projects like that, it's probably a lot of people involved. A lot of people making decisions. A building? Yeah. A building? He's the GC. He takes bids for everything else, right? That's how it usually works.

1:10:43Is that what Trump does as a real estate developer? I don't know how it goes down, but there's a GC, a general contractor, and then there's windows, wiring, all the different departments. You don't know what everybody's doing. You got 20 people in your fucking building. You know, when you built a comedy club, how many people were fucking there every day? Yeah, a lot. You don't know. Right. You don't know. You're not a contract, but you don't know if they're doing a war, right? You just trust whatever. This is all I remember. That was it. Hmm. Yeah. Well, the whole construction business was always shady.

1:11:21And it was always tied up with the mob. I knew a couple guys who had no show up jobs. Like at the Javit Center. Yeah. You just get paid. Concrete. Yeah. They don't concrete. That was the thing the mob would make deals whenever any sort of job was getting done. Did it have a certain amount of no show jobs for their guys? Always. Always. That's finally getting insurance. And that's when you arrest those guys and you go, what do you do for a living? The coppenters. Yeah. The coppenters. You don't even know what an inch is. You're not a measure six inches, you fuck. Yeah. Yeah, it was a scam, but it was how they avoided taxes, too, right?

1:11:58Because taxes helped what brought a lot of them down. That's a broad alcohol poem down. Tax evasion. Tax evasion. But the other guys were pretty smart. They had that, the millionaire club, the bid club. They would only do two million dollar bids or something. They would take two million right off the top of the mob on every job. Are you fucking kidding me? Just are you kidding me? Every job in New York, you know, if it's well known that when the little guy from Arizona who was over there with Gotti, he controlled construction. Like that was just fucking thing. Yeah. You couldn't get anything built without that fucking dude.

1:12:34You imagine if you live in New York City at that time and you're trying to build buildings and you got to do deals with the mob. And you got to do deals with Sammy the Bull. Well, here's the deal. Like I remember in 80, 90, I was roofing and the company was from Jersey and my brother -in -law and I asked him, you know, why'd you pick up this job and he was telling me it's just so difficult. And I go, what do you mean? He goes, take the dumpster. That dumpster that they pick up every day and take off and they're being another one. And Colorado at the time was $200. That same dumpster in New York was $2 ,000 a day.

1:13:09That's how inflated the prices were. $1 ,800 different. It's fucking crazy. That's what the cost of doing fucking construction, you know, in New York. Well, it was always a corrupt town. Like that's why it took the UFC forever to get into New York. It was gonna pay the right, look at these people waiting for licenses. Yeah. I know people in Jersey waiting for a license since I landed. I got a license. You got to grease 80 fucking people. 80 people. You got to know people pay. I know companies that are still waiting for a license from LA. They just thought that we're gonna come and apply in New Jersey or in New York City.

1:13:51Look at New York City. They had a thing they were giving licenses only to people who had felonies. Did you remember that? In New York, they wanted the ideal medical marijuana owners that X convict who went to prison or gotten trouble from marijuana. This is a second chance. Check it out. It's fucking insane. Can't get a license in New Jersey. That is kind of crazy, but they should do something for those poor fucks that went to jail for weed. Nobody should ever went to jail for weed. No. It's ridiculous. No. It's a ridiculous thing to put people in jail for. Look what people in a cage for that.

1:14:29Especially while everything else is okay. Doesn't make any sense. Look what you're finding out now. Look at this guy today. I got in the Uber fresh. I was smoking a fucking joint of this shit this morning. Thank God the guy was Cuban. The senior to you, the name, the guy's name was Antonio. I go, he's Cuban. Got in the car. I was in the car two minutes. He goes, oil, look at that. Fumon, no, no. Who knew? What is that shit? And I just gave him the canister. And I go smell this. He's like, wow. And this is a guy that's been in this country for 10 years. And he said to me, you know, I don't know what the fuss is about this.

1:15:03This is a magical herb. Yeah, people don't realize when you smoke this, pain goes away, you start thinking clear, he goes, it takes time. There's a fucking Uber driver telling me this shit. And I asked him, how do you know about this stuff? Because Cuba were growing wheat. Really, it was outdoor wheat. You couldn't get, wasn't that strong? And sometimes they bring it from Jamaica. That's what he was saying. We were getting Cuba wheat from Jamaica. Because, you know, I mean, the soil is dotting Cuba. Really? Well, they complain about cigars. These cigars aren't tasting the same. They said, really, the fucking soil has just been abused.

1:15:38There's no nourishment. Right. This guy was telling me today it costs more for a packet chicken in Cuba than what does in the United States. A gallon of gas costs more in Cuba than what it does right here now here in Northland. Makes sense. I mean, it makes sense. You have to have infrastructure. You have to have capitalism. You have to have people competing. That whole communism thing doesn't work. And the thing is like the thing that the people that love communism point to, they're like, yeah, but we put in a bar going Cuba. Like, what if we didn't do that? Like, yeah, it's still a dictatorship.

1:16:13Like you still is. You get told what you're doing with your life. You don't want that. Nobody wants that. You might think that that is better because there's no rich people. If that's what you're thinking. You're missing everything because that means everybody's poor. You don't want everybody to be poor. You want everybody to have a chance to be well off. That's what you have here. Now, some people, they get a bad role of the dice. They get a bad hand of cards. They get a bad situation in life. They get a bad place that they live and they're fucked. That this is true. And it's not fair. It's not fair in terms of equal opportunity.

1:16:50It's not. But in terms of opportunity, there's no place better than right here. And there's no place better with actual capitalism. You can do great things. You can do great things, not just for you, but for other people. You can do great things. If people give you the freedom to do great things. But if you live in a socialist country, you don't have any of that. You don't get to decide what you do. The state gets to decide. And how do they enforce that? There's only one way. Force, military. There's only one way to get people to follow the rules of communism and socialism. It's always a dictatorship.

1:17:27It's always one group has all the money and all the power. And they tell you what the fuck you're going to do. And if you don't do it, they kill you or they lock you up in jail. And they threaten people and they scare people. And they make people disappear. So everybody stays in line. And that is when people always do. Whenever you get a communist country. If you ask any of these wacky kids and colleges, give me an example of socialism that works. They'll give you like socialist programs or countries like some Norwegian countries that have a lot of socialist programs that are really good countries.

1:17:58They have really good healthcare, really good education. You pay a lot of taxes, but it goes a long way. And they have a better society because of it. That's great. But they still have the freedom to do whatever the fuck they want to do. They still have the freedom to do whatever kind of occupations they want. You have the ability to make a shitload of money. You have the ability to excel. The problem is people want a quality of outcome when they don't have anything. But you're never going to have that because first of all, it's impossible, but second of all, because you're never going to have a quality of effort.

1:18:32And one of the things that a competitive environment or a place like America, we have freedom is, some people put more into life. They put more into the things they do. And they get more back. They get more out of it. And they're inspiring to other people to do the same. And you see them live a rich and fulfilled life and you're inspired to do the same. That's not happening to Cuba, bro. That is not happening. That's not happening to any of these communist countries. Good North Korea. Tell them, ask me how it worked out when they made a deal to take over all the farm so that no one would ever go hungry, let the state control everything.

1:19:07What a great idea. Everybody give up your farm to the state. Now you're fucked. Now you're fucked. That's the beauty. You know, as somebody who knew that other side, not from living it, but just from hearing the stories. It made you appreciate this so much more. Yeah. That, listen, you could fall into place in this country or you don't need a ceiling over your income. This is the greatest thing about this country. It's like when I first got out there, I always worked on commission, Joe. I don't want you out of the way. Shut that up, you're fucking ass. I'm gonna come here and prove myself. You want me to sell cars?

1:19:46I sell cars. Want me to sell doors or signs? I sell them, but I'm doing it on commission. I want the most that I could get for that fucking thing. Right. Most people don't, I did that at that 19. I knew. For me, it was gonna be commission work. Yeah, and it's a dangerous choice. It's a dangerous choice, but it's based on you. Right. It was after you put into it. Exactly. If you want to sell, well, when I worked at Foot Locker, I was the number one fucking sneaker dude at Foot Locker. You know, and it took me a while, but I fucking went, you know. Right. And then when I started selling cars, again, I went for it.

1:20:20Because I loved it. I learned about salesmanship. I learned about human nature. Yeah. I learned that you have to mail letters to people. Those are the guys I know they're not gonna buy a car, but if you send a hundred letters, three people have to buy a fucking car. So you're working on all numbers, you know. Right. So the United States is a beautiful fucking place. Because I got like me to write a book. Think about that. Yeah. You know, a guy like me could, you know, went to prison. Had, I mean, I didn't get so security with my mother died. Because you worked under a fucking alias. You know, everything got beat up.

1:20:56I mean, let me tell you what's gonna happen. I'm gonna retire when I'm 65. Collect Social Security. And my daughter gets Social Security now for three years. Which is like 1800 a month for college. You want whatever the fuck, you know. Right. I don't give a fuck. So it all came out in the wash. 40 years fucking late. I didn't have the Social Security for me because my mom used the alias. But what my point is, though you can do whatever you fucking want, you saw it, Joe. Yeah. We were talking about today. Kids were coming down here with cars, living in their cars. And look what they're doing now.

1:21:27Because they believed in themselves. You gave them a fucking door and they fucking took it. Most people are still now like, you will, my 18th is said, nothing's gonna happen. Okay. You know, it's the same thing. Some people take chances. Some people sit there waiting for the Bluebird happiness. Yeah. That's the other option you have in this country. You can actually sit and wait for the Bluebird happiness. When I came out of prison, all I had to do was sign a piece of paper and I'm disabled for life. I got a 13 -hundred -hundred -hundred a month. And some people would take that and go look at me.

1:22:01I'm living like a doctor. Think about that. Some people would go 1300 a month. Fuck, that's me. Food stamps, that's me. I could still take my bills. I could still, you know, it's fucking insane. It's insane. It's the choices that you make. And it can imprison you. That kind of money, even a small amount of money, can imprison you. That's what scares me about universal basic income. You know, people say if they gave everybody X amount of money, people could just pursue their dreams and they wouldn't have to worry about food. No. They probably won't. No. You can't give anything to anybody. We're humans.

1:22:37Yeah. We take it for granted. We get 10 checks in a mail for a thousand a month. They cut us up. We don't know what the fuck happened. Right. I rather not gonna hit that. We're all these people after COVID. Everybody fucking got checks in the mail. Now you can't get them people to work no more. Right. Can't get people to work. You go to a place that's a great restaurant or something and the first three people you face, don't even know what the fuck they're at. Right. But they had a higher. You know, you gave people money. Now they're not gonna come back. They're gonna build ways not to come back.

1:23:09People were living it up during COVID, Doug. Living it up unemployment. There's that. We still had to go out there and crack fucking stupid jokes outside getting attacked by fucking spiders and shit thinking there's a leopard in the fucking thing. Seriously. Yeah. The first time I went outside with Rich Ross, I didn't know what the fuck that was. A bat almost hit me on stage. And I told him and he goes, Oh, you missed the other night. There was a fucking bear in the wheel. What the fuck are you talking about? There's a bear in the woods. I don't know what he was talking about. Some bear or a boar.

1:23:41Well, there's a lot of them out there in New Jersey, right? Yeah, you would tell them he last time. But you know, America's fucking beautiful man. It's where else can a fallen with two strikes. I got two strikes. My next strike is life. Right. They give you like 20 years if you have three strikes. When have you met a guy that's done on two strikes? That did anything. You just give up. Yeah. They're gonna get me. I refused. I told him suck my dick. Even when the feds are looking for me in 99 for that gun, I wasn't coppin'. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know, man. I'm not doing it.

1:24:22This is the path I'm taking. I don't know what, and I never got in trouble again, Joe. Never. You know, comedy became... You need something to get you out of there. Yes. You know, I didn't just didn't stop doing coke. Nobody just stops doing coke, Joe. They go to eight rehabs. But I saw something on the other side. I saw what my friends were doing. I saw what people were doing. And once you hear about Rosanne getting the tonight show, were you there? No. Were you there when fucking Rodney blew up the guard? No. To see it is something completely different. When you're at the store with guys working the door, getting how much were we getting?

1:25:0125 a shift. She was paying me 25 hours on Sunday nights to work the door and 25 to MC. That's no money, but you fall in love with what you're doing. Yeah. And you know there's a path. And there's a path. And when you start seeing other people rise, and you're stuck as a fucking addict, you're fucking stuck. You don't know when to stop. I was stuck as an addict, and I got to be stuck as a fat dude. Because there was a point of my elevator broke. I wouldn't leave the fucking house. And my walk in those three flights is this. I was 450 pounds. I'm not doing it. You're really that big. Four 18, 420.

1:25:39My wife was tying my shoelaces. You know embarrassing that fucking is? Not fucking embarrassing that is. Looking back at it now. People coming to visit you and Jack. That's bullshit life, man. Yeah. There's so much out there, Joe. There's so fucking. And now I could, that's what I'm trying to sell to my daughter. There's so much out there. Yeah. You know people in New Jersey, or they know it's Florida. I've never seen fucking people love Florida so much. I can't stand fucking Florida because they like it so much. You know vacation for people in Jersey, and one week in Atlantic City, they bust out the white shoes.

1:26:15Then there's one week in Florida. That was not going to be me. Did you see that comp on TV? Which comp? Yesterday they were saying if someone breaks in your house in Florida, please shoot them. We prefer if you shoot them. That's what we got into now. Did you see that guy? Have you seen it, Jamie? I'll send it to you. I mean, he's getting a lot of heat today. Ah, isn't he? I don't know. Not in Florida. I bet they're like, fuck yeah. God bless Florida. He got his in the little brother. Yeah. Thank you, sir. It's a year ago. Oh, is it? This is the same one. Yeah, that's the guy. It says. Yeah. Save taxpayers money if you shoot home invaders.

1:26:50Probably right here. Unoccupied dwelling felony third. Seven charges total. His bond's 157 ,500. And I want to say, ask to the person. We don't know what homeowner, which homeowner, shot at him. I guess they think that they did something wrong, which they did not. If somebody's breaking in your house, you're more than welcome to shoot them in Santa Rosa County. We prefer that you do, actually. So whoever that was, your non -trolant comes to us. We have a gun safety class we put on every other Saturday. And if you take that, you'll shoot a lot better. And hopefully you'll save taxpayers money. Hilarious.

1:27:28That's Florida. And then the Santas just came out because all these houses are getting people squatting. Taking over people's houses in New York. I'm sure you've seen that. Lady got arrested because she changed the locks on her own house. Someone squatting in her house. She got into the house, kicked them out, changed the locks. They called the cops. They said they're tenants. They arrest her. It took her away in handcuffs because squatters were in her own house. And then this is guy on TikTok that started making videos explaining to people what the laws are and how you can get into people's houses and how you can squat.

1:28:01And so it's a genuine problem because in Georgia there's a thousand houses right now that people are squatting in. That's a giant number of houses that squatters have just taken over these people's houses. Are there people out of town? Out of town or it's real estate holding, you know, maybe trying to sell it. Maybe it's your vacation house. Who knows? Maybe you're fixing it up. Who knows? But no one's living in it. They move in. They take over. They have it now. Is that every when? It's a lot of states. But it's not Florida. And Florida they're like, fuck you. Like, like, DeSantis just had a little press conference yesterday about it.

1:28:39And it's like in Florida, that does not fly. You know, there is no way anyone's going to squat in your house in Florida. Which is what people want to hear. You know, nobody wants their fucking look. If you work really hard, you get a house and you have a second house. You can use it as a rental property or whatever. You're trying to make some money. And then someone takes over that. And the system works for them and not for you. There's a big difference between tenants and squatters. And if you can't make that differentiation, we got a real problem. Got a big problem. Yeah. That's a big problem.

1:29:12That's something that's going to get shot. That's it. That's how this changes. This is how this always changes. Some guy comes home with the fucking you ate people doing here. Yeah. You're not supposed to be. He don't know nothing. He's from Russia. You know, nothing. He's an old fucking guy from Iran or something. You know, nothing. You're in my house. And they'll put him in jail. And they'll put him in jail. But who shoot those eight motherfuckers? Something a bad happen. But that's how it changes, Joe. The thing is once people start going to jail for defending their own property, you've made a mess.

1:29:41You've made a mess. You made a giant mess. And then the criminals are going to be aware of this and they already are. They already are. That's two steps ahead of you. Yeah. There are two steps ahead of you. They know what the rules are and they're going to get attorneys that are going to work with them and they're going to steal your house. So let me ask you this. You go on vacation with your wife. I move into your living room. You come back and you're just going to greet me with nice eyes and say, I don't know how that works. I called 911. There's a squad ahead. I've got to get him out. He's going to come.

1:30:09Go, no. I don't know if you've been here. I don't know if we were in Europe. You know, whatever. That was you talking telling me? Well, I think some people can't physically do anything, right? Because they get in the house and there's men in there. Do you see about the lady in New York City? She went to clean out her mom's place and there were squatters in there and they killed her. All right. Yeah, they just caught these guys. Young guys. They just the same thing. They figured out there was no one in there. They broke in, changed the locks, whatever. Fixed it. Stayed there. You know how this changes, brother?

1:30:40Yeah. It's always one guy that makes an example, makes a big, deep example, and then people go, well, I want to say twice about doing that. It seems like the only way to really change is the law. It's just I don't understand why there's so many laws that have been around for so long. That when you see common sense solutions like Ron DeSanta saying, no, you can't do that. Stop. That's not going to happen in Florida. That should be every state that should say, no, you can't steal people's houses. That should be simple. That has nothing to do with being Democrat or Republican. It's like stealing property.

1:31:12Just like no one should be able to steal your car. No one should be able to steal your clothes. They shouldn't be able to steal your house. It seems that's logical. It has nothing to do with racism or xenophobia or white privilege or any of these dumb things they try to attach to this. It's just law and order. We have to have a set of laws that we all abide by. If we're going to have a peaceful society where you don't create victims and you don't empower criminals. And the fact that that is complicated in 2024 is so strange to me. I just don't understand. Almost like it's on purpose. Like it's meant to keep things chaotic.

1:31:52Keep us on our heels. Keep us at each other's throats. Just keep us just trying to figure out what's the next problem they have to deal with. And all the while, there's all this shit going on in Ukraine. There's all this shit going on with green energy and Bill Gates is buying farmland. Like, God! Can I have a fucking moment where it is relaxed? Even the squarters thing. When did this start? This started coming up about three -po years ago during COVID. Didn't it, or was it around before? It was definitely around before. But I think it has ramped up considerably as things got more woke. Because I think as things get more woke, you start looking towards the right spotters.

1:32:35But listen, no one is in that home. And no one should have a home that is unoccupied where people are homeless. Like, yeah, okay. I'm going to take a piss. I'll wait till all the law and order puts out an episode on squatters. And I learn more about it. I'll come back and fucking drive. We'll be right back. What did you bet? You bet Dustin over Benwase and Denise? I just looked at the card and I'm like, you know, it's good bet. It was a good bet anyway. I was cheated on and I like sugar. So I couldn't pick one there. And then all the hype around the guy and Dustin, I go, I'll be his bet in this fucking soldier.

1:33:11So I just took a chance to watch the fights. I thought I'd bet all the fights. I just bet I would have liked to see that fight with him not having staff. He was going to have a hard time with Dustin stand up anyway. Dustin stand up is just sharper, more battle tested. Benwase and Denise started off as a judo guy. And he has very good stand up. But there's levels. And I think Dustin's level is extremely high. His level stand up is extremely high. And you see that like when he fought Max Holloway, he outboxed Max Holloway. And that fight, that was a big one. A Mexican box. A lot of people are counting him out in this just engaging fight.

1:33:52But he's got a lot of time to prepare for this. The first fight when he fought 55, when he fought Dustin, that was a short notice fight. He didn't have time to really bulk up. I don't know how short notice it was, but I know he didn't bulk up. I think he just tried to fight, you know, just be 145 and not cut weight, you know, which is his natural weight class. You're doing that card then. What's the new work card? Have they announced that? I know they have an accident card this month. I saw the ad. Yeah, that's this weekend. Okay, that's what I've been fighting. Yeah. I think it's, I think it's the first week in June.

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1:35:20Yeah, that's far ahead. So here we are in March, April, May, June. It's probably not scheduled yet. They probably have like tentative fight set and it probably is dependent upon who wins what and who's healthy when. 3 0 2 on the schedule bro, this one, Whitaker versus Hamza Chimayev in Saudi Arabia. That one is going to be fucking wild. That's a wild one. That is a wild fight. Kelvin Gaslam versus Drod. That's a great fight too. Is that the only two fights that have been announced so far? Bro Whitaker versus Hamza is legit. That's a real fight. That's a real fight for Hamza. Because Whitaker is a big dude.

1:36:02He's a big, I mean solid beefy 185 former champion. You know, both guys started at 170 but they were cut. It was too hard to make the 170. That's a real 185 or as opposed to like, you know, they gave him Kamaro Usman. And Kamaro didn't have chance to prepare for that. He had 10 days. You know, that's not enough time. I mean, I don't know what kind of shape he was in. He couldn't really test it. He's always in shape. He's always in shape. But famously, Kamaro has bad knees. Like real bad knees. So I don't know how hard he was training. Whether or not he prepares the way, like maybe he only like sacrifices his knees during training.

1:36:43And then when he's not training for a fight, he takes it easy. So he doesn't stay in the same kind of shape. I don't know. But I know he was winning in the third round. I mean, Kamaro, if that was a five round fight, who knows how the fuck that fight would have went? And, you know, obviously, Kamaro's world championship caliber, the best welterweight of all time, by most people's accounts. And, you know, it's not enough time. Not enough time to get a guy like that to prepare for Kamaro to prepare for Hamzaa. But at least we got a chance to see what Hamzaaat looks like against a world class world championship caliber fighter.

1:37:16So this was a big one. This is Robert Whitaker with plenty of time to prepare. The guy who is just as legit as they get, just be Paul Costa, you know, that's a good fight. I like that. I bought my boy the meatiest last weekend. How crazy is that? How crazy is that? He's so great. Mighty Mouse took on a guy who was 250 pounds. He fucked me up. And he just tried to scare the Mighty Mouse. Fucking 250. And he tapped him. The dude was heavier than him by 100 pounds. The guy was enormous. The guy was so much bigger than him. That's great. Well, that's what I'm like, God damn, he's great. He is great.

1:37:57And a brown belt. Yeah. He's fucking brown belt. He's great at everything too. So this is him going through the tournament. Is that what this is? Yeah. So this is him and the giant dude. Look at the size difference. I thought it was Karp Metzger. Look how big that dude is. This is big. Yeah. What Mighty Mouse is so slick. You got him on like a trip. Mm -hmm. There it is. And then managed to stay on top, which is really crazy. That's just crazy that you couldn't get him off of him. That's technique.

1:38:37Pretty wild. That he's even willing to do this while he's competing. I mean, I think he's the champion over at 1 FC still. So he's still doing MMA, still doing like high level championship fights. And he's fighting in the gui and the gui tournament, which is just nuts. God of love, man. Yeah, it's just crazy that he stayed on top of this guy. Then he got his back.

1:39:05No, I think he tapped the guy. Didn't he? I feel like he tapped him. Yeah, here it is. He got him with some kind of a choke. So he's got his collar. He tapped him. Look at that. That's crazy. No audience. Look at that. That's the thing about Gigi's tournaments. No one's there. I mean, some of the best... Look how he rolled him, too. Holy shit. Pretty wild. Rolled him and held. He looks like he's holding on to the collar and tapping him with his collar. Like a bow and arrow? Yeah. Amazing. He's probably the best ever in terms of... I'm not sure if he's sweaty though. I know. In terms of like pure martial arts technique, I think the best expression of martial arts I've ever seen is my mouth.

1:39:55Did you have a hug, John? A hug, right? Yeah. No. He was looking to get on. Okay. I'll get a hold of him. Because he was down here. Oh, three months ago, he was down here. With hands off school? Somewhere. And one of my friends called me and he goes, can you get a mile? I don't know. I just wrote a book. You know. Yeah. With events. Yeah, we're booked out pretty far. I get these techs. I love watching. Jiu Jitsu is so much like comedy. How so? So much, man. In what way? The longer you're in it, the prettier it gets. And the, you know, I'm watching Tom. I'm watching you the night. We're at a point where it's effortless.

1:40:36It's second nature. You know what I am? Like it's just beautiful to see. You know, comedy is great. The 10 year mark is great. The 20 year mark. Something happens to you. It really does. Everything clicks. And it's like with this art, Jiu Jitsu, you get a name, you get beat up for a year. And then one day you start doing little things and you're like, oh, shit. Just ain't that bad. It's the same thing. But once you put it all together, like what we're talking about, David Tell special. It's a thing of beauty, man. Yeah. It's a thing of fucking beauty. That's a thing of beauty. My hands get pounced way like that.

1:41:13I know that that's fucking beautiful. Yes, years and years and years of work. I've always loved, like you went to see the black keys last week. Mm -hmm. I love this. I love that you're going out and catching live music. It makes my dick hard. I wish I went to as much live music as you. But Jersey's a fucking nightmare. You know, you have the Star Wamball room and shit. No, I just can't. You know, you got to, you know, have your metal shit. I can't. But I wish because that's how you get better at all this shit is by getting entertained. Mm -hmm. That's how you... That's a money -o -easy, so say.

1:41:47That's getting creative. When I went to USC Fight and saw on the hit of acid and saw Anderson kick that dude in the face. I went right up to my room and wrote a joke. I'm like, this is fun. You know, it just inspires you. Yeah. That they're that good. We used to always talk about, I am this and I know he could look at you and pinpoint the shot and he was accurate. That's a thing of art, man. And it isn't an art. What am I talking about? Yeah, it isn't art. No, I swallow like two of these ins. What's going to happen? I'm going to blow a zin fight tonight in that fucking green room. Yeah, you're going to shit out those little towers.

1:42:21Oh, Jesus, I keep swarming them. Yeah, don't swallow those little bags. You know, I swallow those. What are you going to do? Nothing. I don't think it's going to hurt you. At this point, I used to swallow gum, though. I was 30. Shit. These days, the gum gets stuck inside your body. Yeah, that's how I swallow gum, but fucking he is. I think that's a total math. And once you're still beeping it, you're like, I'm not going to stop now. Now I spit it out, but before I would always fucking swallow. Well, have you seen that thing that people are doing now? Well, they make them swallow a balloon. They swallow a balloon to deal with their weight loss.

1:42:51Have you seen that? No. Yeah. So they swallow this bag. It's like this little tiny thing. It's about that big, and it's attached to a tube. And they swallow the whole thing. And the tubes come out of their mouth as they're swallowing. So they give a glass of water to swallow it. It gets down in, and then once it's in their stomach, they pump it up. And they fill this bag. And this bag takes up a lot of room in your stomach. So you get full much quicker. And so that's the thing that keeps people from, you know, you know, over you. They get rid of them. They just, they can't stop themselves. They don't feel full.

1:43:24People want to feel full. And so this bag, you swallow this thing. It's called a gastric balloon. Yeah. What are they inflated with? Is it water? They don't know. So they go in, swallow it, take this tube. I thought they were showing it for a second. They were showing it. And I think when you've lost the weight that you want to lose, they can deflate it. But then my worry would be that then, you have this stretched out stomach that needs to get full again. Dog, after I asked your advice on the gastric thing, you said you look into it. I really thought about it. Not the gastric thing. Just all these get out quick things.

1:44:06Yeah. You know, let's let go of the Zampic now. Did you hear what I was talking about last night on the stage? Because I wrote that out the other day. It was a stupid joke. But I think that people are going to go on to the Zampic now. I had a lot of people. And the fat man's going to come back stronger. What's the name of that show? The 600 pound fat dude? Yeah, my 600 pound life. You know, all this shit's going to come back bigger and stronger fat dudes. Do you know what I'm saying? You're just doing all this shit. If you just lift weights and walk a little bit and watch yourself. Just a little bit.

1:44:41Yeah. All these get rich, squeam schemes. Yeah. If I go down to 265, I'll do all this. Because then I get stuck at 265. Do you? Yeah. I get stuck at 271, 271. But when you did weight watchers, you got down low. How low were you when you were... What I am now? That's the lowest you've ever been? Yeah. 277, 274. 274 was my lowest weight. But I wasn't lifting weights. How was you lighter than that? No, I wasn't doing shit. I was walking and kickboxing. No weights. And now you're doing weights? No, you got to do the weights at the stage. I think so. Very important. I think it's important for bone density.

1:45:22For dog, that saccopena you lose it quick. Yeah. That's quick. Yeah. And they're not asking you to fucking be on Olympic lifted. They're not asking you. Look at all the things. They're not asking you. They're just asking you for 30 minutes a day of resistance training. Yeah. Just a little bit of something to keep the muscles going. The thing about ozumping is some people have pretty bad side effects. And you know, it's just... Essentially it's doing is limiting your appetite. Essentially it's doing something very similar to what this balloon thing does. And I think you can get that done with a high protein diet.

1:46:01You can limit your appetite by just going on a carnivore diet. I know a lot of people that have done that and lost a lot of weight. Just carnivore? Yeah. You get satisfied way easier. Two eggs. Six eggs for breakfast. Two eggs. Eggs in meat and your body just adjusts. Your body turns the protein into glucose and it turns the fats into ketones. For me it just seems to work better. And I know a lot of people that have had a problem with carbohydrates. They start to... Look I had those guys do it for World Carnivore Month. The comics that I've got working out with the gym. I'm like, who wants to commit to this?

1:46:33In time out the January and nothing but meat. And they did it and they're like, dude, I feel so much more and more. I'm energetic. I'm not tired in the middle of the day. I'm like, yeah, that's like a carb crash. You're getting like an insulin crash in the middle of your day because you're eating carbs and sweets and sugar and bread and pasta and rice and all this stuff. If you eliminate that stuff from your diet, it takes a while for your body to adjust. It took me like a couple of weeks when I first did it. But then once your body adjusts, you just feel like you have an extra gear. You have more energy.

1:47:02You feel clear or headed. You feel better. I just know all that meat jokes get is to shit on me, man. Yeah. And what way? I don't know. I get a little iffy with a lot of meat. Iffy? Late at night, I could probably blast fucking three eggs in a... Yeah, then have eggs. Scramble eggs on the stage. Eggs are easy. Eggs are easy. They're easy to adjust. They're super nutritious. They're so good for you. You could live off nothing but eggs. Eggs are great. Seven grams of protein. Yeah. Three eggs. That's 21 fucking grams, man. You know? Not bad. Yeah, it's fucking good for you. And all the stuff that says it's not good for you is nonsense.

1:47:40It's just good for you. Eggs are good. They're healthy. Does our girl like the kind of wood diet? Who? Ronda? Yeah. Yeah, she likes it. But I think she thinks that you should have vegetables too. And some people do think that... She's got meat and blueberries like a motherfucker. Blueberries are great. She makes you smarter. Really? She's got meat and blueberry. Yes. Watch one of the things. Blueberries actually make you smarter. Interesting. How's it make you smarter? I have no idea. I didn't listen to that after that. My attention's made. I need more blueberries. I love it though. I do everything she says.

1:48:12Anytime she... Today she put a video, her fucking working out. I wonder how they would figure out whether or not blueberries make you smarter. Do they give you blueberries and then make you take a test? And then make you take a test? She did a third of a year. You know her, bro. A group of six people got together in Norway. You fucking blueberries for a month. The thing about that, though, is you have to look at like healthy... Healthy subject bias or healthy statistics bias. Because like the people that are in that group that are eating blueberries in the beginning or to begin with are probably healthier people.

1:48:43Healthier people might be a little smarter. You know, like more aware of what... The effects of eating good food does to your body. So healthy user bias is real. I don't know though. I don't know how they did the study. But a lot of those studies are weird. You get a sense of what's true and what's not. But also people manipulate those studies. And they make studies designed to get the result that they're trying to achieve because they're trying to sell you something. I get very nervous when all these people are on the Sozamburg stuff. I just get very nervous. Because Brian Simpson had a horrible side effect.

1:49:21He was fucked. He was wrecked. He stayed at home for days. Listen, from all the experience we have, everything that's come out the last couple of fucking days, the last couple of years. Here it says, Dr. Ronda Patrick. Blueberry concentrate increased brain blood flow, brain activation, and working memory in adults compared to placebo. Hmm. Concentrated blueberry juice. Interesting. And so it improves brain function in older people. Let's go. Let's get a blueberry smoothie. Get the party roll. I do more of the time. Yeah. I want to water blueberries, little protein powder. Nice. Bangal. Uh, they're good for you.

1:50:03I mean, this is what stops that crash and you have to, I've been getting it. Since I turned 58. Well, uh, I've never slept born a day time. Night taking naps. Four o 'clock. Yeah. I mean, my world ends. It's the saddest thing. Not even reef her edibles. Nothing. Once you get someone from school, I talk to her. We look at the homework. She goes to a room. I go downstairs. My wife gets home. And at about 415, I can't even eat. Hmm. It's not about, I just got to get up and walk the bed. She knows already. And I crashed for an hour and four minutes and an hour and six. Hmm. I get up for like 15 minutes.

1:50:43I feel like shit that I'm ready to attack 24 people. Hmm. The first 15 minutes, I always feel shitty. Like, man, I shouldn't have slept in the afternoon. But some days I have it. Some days I don't. How much carbs are you eating? I eat that wheat bread in the morning. Oh. And, uh, I really wanted to try intermittent fasting. Yeah. I get dizzy. Like, I get, what, dunking gets? Yeah. You don't eat and drive. Like, I don't eat and drive. A long distance. I'm done. I get dizzy and shit. I tell you what, having my friend Tommy? No. Tommy Jr. He, um, he was, uh, shoveling snow. Clean his driveway out.

1:51:24You got called into work on a Sunday. Something happened. And, uh, so he's shoveling his snow. And, uh, you know, he's not in the best of shape. Shovel snow, heavy snow. It's all the whole driveway. Get's done. Drives in his car, falls asleep at the wheel. And slams into a wall. And you got pretty fucked up. A bunch of broken bones. Yeah. He's still not better. That was, this was months ago. So, what was the result of the map from the shoveling? Uh, yeah. He just blacked out on the wheel. Yeah. Dis -exhaustion, you know, not in the best of shape. Like, lifting snow. It's not good. It's a motherfucker.

1:52:02Dude, it's a real workout. If you get wet snow and you got a whole driveway for that shit. And, you know, you're digging in and lifting it up and digging in and lifting it up. Your legs, your back. But if they're all recent. Yeah. Isn't the weather contribute to that? To what? To that cold when you come out. Like, I have a friend that I went to school with and I came back. How's your dad? He died shoveling snow. Well, it's a heart attack thing. It's exertion. All right. If you're not in shape, shoveling snow is equivalent to doing like a hard crossfit class. If you're not in shape, shoveling, wet snow.

1:52:36No shit. Remember we live in Colorado. Yeah. And the snow was light. When it snowed in Jersey last time, I shoveled and that's wet. And the only thing that saved me with slow amounts, three inches, four inches. And I go out there early and get it. If you get an 18 incher. Oh, you got it. Then I can't. And then it gets a little warmer. And then it starts to melt. And then you basically got every shovel full is 45 pounds. And KBHD posted this one. You shoveled and snow this winter. Yeah. Look, it's heart rate is 118. 1200 calories in 90 minutes. Yeah. 1200 calories in 90 minutes of shoveling snow.

1:53:12It's not crazy. So look at that. Every single smartwatch on earth should have snow shoveling as a workout type. I don't know a soul in the Northeast that would disagree. It's fucking hard. So if you're out of shape and you burn off a thousand calories like my boy Tommy. And then you get behind the wheel. You fucking black out, you know. Let's see if whoops got a snow. Probably that didn't drink enough water. I don't think whoops has a snow shoveling. I think you just have to put it in as a regular workout. But 90 minutes of work. So save you have to leave your house at 630. You got to be out there minimum 5pm shoveling.

1:53:51You got to go, I got to leave it in a half an hour and a half. Here we go. So basically you have to have very little clothes on because you're going to sweat your dick off. And you're going to be out there. Every fucking shovel full is probably 35, 45 pounds. Chee. Chee. Chee. Chee. And then you look, what you've cleared four feet. Not even. And then you got to get in there and get it off the concrete and really scrape it down. Otherwise it's going to melt and then freeze again. And then your whole garage all the way down your driveway is going to be ice. So you got to really scrape it. The ice is a snow shovel show for 11.

1:54:3015 bucks an hour in 1983. I would sit out there shovel snow in case the apartments. The whole snow mass village. Every time people go skiing I know when I'm leaving. I knew the whole thing. Yeah we did that Newton. We did that back for 11. Yeah. It was eight hours a day. No it was a full -time job in snow mass village. You just applied for it 15 bucks an hour insurance. After 90 days it was a ski pass. They fuck it was a job. It was a fucking job. That's what is your job. Not you've been the ass been lately. No. It's crazy. I'm going this summer. It's just I could just imagine. Beverly Hills and the mountains.

1:55:07Yeah I could just imagine. It's all these rich people and it's really weird. It's not what it used to be. No I know. Like you go watch those old documentaries when Hunter S. Thompson was there. Was he there when you were there? Did you ever see him? Yeah. At Woody Creek. Did you go to the cat at Woody Creek Davern? I used to go to get weed in the nachos with fucking delicious stuff. Yeah. Food's still great there. Did you go? Yeah. Is it still open? Yeah it's still open. Eight there a couple years ago. No shit. Yeah we went to Aspen for a ski trip and I said we got to go to Woody Creek Davern.

1:55:43Got to go pay respect. That was a place. Think about an 18 year old kid. Just close your eyes for a minute. There it is. And I'm talking about. No. Yep. Still open. Oh that changed a lot dog. Did it? Yeah. What changed? It looks like a place now. Well it's not a photo of us people on the wall. When I was going in there it looked like fucking a barn. Yeah. I had a front Kato. The key corn was in there. And I told them I go listen you got a deal with me. I love you to death. Don't knock my door unless you got the best weed in town. And when you do have the best weed in town knock on my door. I don't get this two in the morning, three in the morning.

1:56:28And he would come open. Tell me I got a great weed. We got to go to Woody Creek Davern. First time I went in there. Now you want me to lie to you and tell you I knew who Hunter Thompson was? I didn't know what the fuck he was. First time I went in there. He was in there with Bill Murray. Really? And Don Johnson. Wow. All right. First time I went in there. I didn't know. The second time I was Don Johnson. The first time I was Bill Murray. I got my weed. I got the nachos. I didn't say a word. I didn't need to think, you know, there was no pictures then. And I just walked out. And then on the way that God was telling me who Hunter Thompson was, that a year later one, the first movie came out.

1:57:08The first that was played by Bill Murray, played him. That was where the Buffalo Roam. Yeah. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. And then I went in there. Second time I saw Don Johnson. And that was fucking mind blown. He was hotter than shit on Miami Vice. And then I went in there another time. And one of the nitty -ditty dirt band. We're there with Hunter Thompson. It was a fucking party up there. Wow. And I was a kid. And they would tell you, if you go to the Aspen Airport, the bar. Clint Eastwood's there every night. Every fucking night. I would not go up there. For some reason I was just scared to meet Clint Eastwood.

1:57:52And then you were young. And Don Henry picked me up hitchhiking? Really? One time. I got in the car and he had that song. It was 83, 84. So he just put out dirty laundry. And he was big. The boys of summer. Yeah. I'm in the fucking. Because Aspen used to have a hitching post. Okay. So when you finish your job at Aspen, you could just go to a hitching post and stand out there. If people went like this, that means that we're going, they weren't going down valley. So if they did this to you, that means that we're just going to like snowmass. That's right. Short trip. And people would pick you up all the fucking time and just talk to you.

1:58:31What's going on? Where you from? From there. You know, and the first time it was Don Henry. And I still lived in Besalt. And then, four to July 83, I moved to snowmass. And I was hitchhiking. And John Denver picked me up with a Jeep. John Denver. John Denver. Fucking Denver Joe. Wow. I'm like, come on. This isn't no. And he's like, if you're not doing anything, I'm doing the thing that he does a charity up there, a fucking year or something. I didn't even know. I was just, he's saying come to the show. Yeah, like, come up. It's free as some shit. I'm like, wow. I just moved to snowmass. I don't know anybody.

1:59:09Don't like a month later, I got a conical in old snowmass. There's snowmass village and there's old snowmass. And I went to old snowmass because the guy was from New York and he had hot dogs. And I remember going and seeing Goldie on. We're Kurt Russell, like nothing. Sandals on the girl Kate Hudson was a baby. Wow. Maybe two, three, four with her brother, a little brother that was holding her maybe. I used to see them all the fucking time. Wow. Sydney Portie used to come into the video store. I was shit. That's when I asked Robin Williams for an autograph. He told me no, and he had body older.

1:59:48He stunk so fucking bad. He had been in a coke thing for like four fucking days. Oh, no. That was a magical, magical place for a kid of 18. It was just something different, man. And I did a movie with Adam Sandler and Don Johnson was in the back. And I had to do a scene with him. And after every scene we had to go into this closet. And I would talk to him. And I'd like to remember you when you got chased down Galena Street. And he goes, you remember that? When Miami Vice was hotter than shit, like 86, I was an aspirin. And when I were at like Paddy Boggotties, and you see a bunch of people running down the street, it's a bunch of women chasing Don Johnson.

2:00:28Wow. He's fucking running with his bodyguard down the street that aspirin. Fucking crazy shit. I can't imagine what it's like now. It doesn't have that homie feeling. No, it's a different thing. On the way out of Aspen, when you made that turn out, before you hit that road, the 82, there used to be a fucking diner on the corner. And they were known for a crumb cake. And you could smell it. So all you smelled when you passed that was the crumb cake and the smell of the chickery, like the burning and people's fucking tremendous. Like I never smelled that before. Like all those things, it was just, I was like a kid in the candy store.

2:01:07You know how to be a culture shark too, right? Come on from New Jersey. Shit. And I didn't ask that. I remember the first month I come home and yell at my roommates, what the fuck did you do to me? They're all faggots. They all say good morning. And hello, and you know, people pulling over. Do you need a ride? Get the fuck out of here. And I'm like, no, no, you can't act like that. These people really want to help you. So what brought you to Aspen in the first place? My brother Jimmy Berkel. He got thrown out of the Air Force Academy. And he went back home to get his weights. To get his Olympic weights and speakers.

2:01:42We drove cross -country. He said we're going to Aspen. I knew nothing about it. So he said, fuck it up for a ride. I was 20 people looking for me. So I had no choice. So I came up at like 1 ,500 bucks. I bought the car for us to drive in. The axle fell off. And it was weird because he'd call me a date when he was leaving. But I was planning on robbing this bookmaker for a ton of dope. The guy had money in a, like a linen closet. And he would have, like a register. It was like hundreds in the top, 50s in the second show. And every time I went in there, he would just open up the closet and take money out and pay us.

2:02:19And like, oh, we got to rob this guy. So I was waiting to rob this guy. I didn't want to go because I thought it was like a 20 ,000 -day pay -day, right? So I told him just leave and I'll get a plane ticket. When he got the pencil vanity, the axle fell. So he had to get towed back. And once he came back, I knew I had to go. Like that was my sign. Like I got to go. He broke the fuck down this guy to come back. And then I said, fuck, and I went with him. I took just, I was 18. I had no family. Nothing going on and nothing to lose. My cousin was up there. I had a Cuban cousin, Tweety, who got caught, fucking thrown and cooked out of a bale.

2:02:57And then there's nephew who showed up to my show like a week later. He got coke out of a bale. He's the famous guy that he was throwing the coke out of their plane. Oh, he lived in a... He lived in Aspen. That motherfucker did 25 years in America and another 15 in the Bahamian jail. Really? And he's out now. Wow. He's old. He's old. So I went up there. And it was perfect for what I was doing. Just coming out of it. I lost my mother two years earlier. I needed to fucking get some traction. And I fell in that place. And you imagine, man, I just fell into that fucking place. Pretty crazy. Pretty fucking crazy.

2:03:40But a good shift of perspective, right? You get to see a totally different way to live. And I had to figure it out for myself. And I still been up there struggling and joining Colorado Mountain College. No high school diploma. I just walked that one day. I like to take some classes. You've got the money. You can take them. Start taking six credits. Six credits. This is a master's six. No high school diploma. Math classes. The whole fucking thing. History. Then I went to Boulder. And I joined continuing at a Boulder. And one day they came to me with a letter, John. They're like, listen, you got too many credits for that.

2:04:16You got to transfer it into a college. And I'm like, I got my high school diploma. And they're like, well, you can't take classes here. I didn't tell them that. I didn't have a high school diploma. And I applied for the University of Colorado on the Spanish program. There's some program there. You had to maintain a 2 .0 and fucking garbage. They gave you a tutor. Really? They gave you money on the ass. So I transferred into the University of Colorado. They kept bugging me. Where's your high school transcripts? Where's your high school transcripts? I'll whip one up in a second. I didn't know how.

2:04:51I kept lying for them. They're common. They're common. And then finally I got arrested. And I had to take my GED. So I said, fuck it. And that's how I got in. When you got arrested, you had to take a GED. Well, when you get arrested, you know, when they were thinking about me, I had to get my, I had to show the judge I was trying to get my life together. And that was on the list. Oh, I see. So I took the GED and then I went to the University of Colorado. And then I got thrown in prison. They probably the only guy that's gone to college and then went back and got his GED. Can you fucking believe that?

2:05:22There was no computer back then. Yeah, well, that was Colorado at the time. Yeah, bring it next time. I mean, you could have had fake paper or keys back then. How would anybody have known? I didn't want to do that. I wanted to do it, you know, like something. Everything else in my life was shit. Can I have one thing for myself? Right. One thing for myself that's... What were you planning on doing when you were going to college? Did you have a plan? No. No, just take classes. Just took classes, you know, and then I went to Boulder. And when they transferred me in, those were real fucking like classes.

2:06:00And that's when I got locked up. That was the beginning of the end for me. But I took it seriously, Joe. Everything else was shit. Right. This is the only thing I have that's mine. That is not shitty, you know? Well, sometimes that's what a person needs. Something that they can dedicate themselves towards. Because they don't feel like they have anything. And there's no direction. They don't know what to do. And they just... You know, that old expression, idle hands of the devil's playground, that's real. That's real. That's real. That's very real. Yeah. If you don't have a purpose in life, you don't have a direction that you feel like you should be going in, you feel so lost.

2:06:35And you can get sucked into all kinds of things. And you're filled with anxiety. And so then you just skate with drugs. You're trying to like find something to make you feel better because you just don't feel good and you feel like a loser. The only thing that makes you feel good is accomplishing things, having a family, having loved ones, having friends, having a community. But accomplishing things too. All those are the only things that make you feel better in life. You know, at that point in my life, I had my drug people, my criminal people. But I had a couple people that were trying to help me out.

2:07:05You know those people I've bumped into your life. I had a high school teacher that was helping me out. I had a bunch of people. And since I didn't have parents, I was dedicating whatever I was doing in their name. Is that hard to say or hard to understand? I got to have parents. So if you helped me out when I did something, I was doing it for Joe to show them that I'm fucking worth doing. Right, that you worth doing because I'm worth spending time. Yeah, yeah. You might think even comedy. I love comedy. I love comedy. But I got out of comedy what I wanted to become a man. That whole journey of comedy taught me how to be a man.

2:07:40It taught you how to watch other comics and be happy for them. It's a journey of education being a comedian. It really is. And let me tell you something, to be a comedian, your IQ has to be somewhere high up there. Like the good ones somewhere they got to be up on there. They're not stupid. No, we're not stupid. We figured out how to, you know, get to that next level. And that was for me, that was the most important thing. Becoming a man. What is becoming a man? Just somebody who can contribute to society. Pay taxes. Yeah. Not have to steal. I wasn't going to be a multi -millionaire. That was never in my fucking realm.

2:08:15I just wanted to function first. That was it. I just wanted to be a functioning person, not with cocaine. You know, now we were talking about something the other night. 27 years I did that shit for. I did more when I was clean in 10 years than I did in those 30 years. So you're always thinking about what you lost, you know. And then I lost those two years to prison. And, you know, I lost a lot of time fucking around. But look what I did accomplish in 10 years. It was mind -boggling between a marriage, a child, a house, the career, you know, our story. You got on track. Yeah, that was it. Yeah, you got on track.

2:08:55For me, it wasn't having a jet plane. It was about being a fucking man. Yeah. Just having a normal life. Being proud of yourself. That's it. You know. I got a three. I got a fucking, I got the Beatles. I got two other people when it's missing. You know, you have a big home. There everything to me. But I never had that. Right. I never had that. I never had, you know, my mother had her life and I had my life. And I appreciated it because it prepared me to be the man I am today. But at that time, it was like that line from a pink Floyd song. You were stranger in your own home. You were stranger in your own home.

2:09:32Your parents are doing what they were doing to try to keep the lights on. You're out there delivering fucking newspapers. You know, you were driving a limo. You didn't know what a fuck you were going. But you figured it out. You didn't become stale. You didn't sit on your fucking ass. And that's why I think a lot of Americans are doing now. When I sit here and I go, I did this in 10 years with nothing. You know. That's the thing that people are not considering when they talk about universal basic income. Things like that. That you need. You need challenges. You just told me you have a challenge.

2:10:02You want to do some because it's a challenge. We challenge it. We open up the door. We're supposed to open up the mouth and fucking put a channel lines mouth and sit. That's what makes us tick. It's to always be working towards something. Yeah, I think everybody wants something. There's no fucking way universal. I don't want you getting the same hand that I get. Handouts don't work, Joe. They don't. Handouts do not work. They do not work. For certain people, they work. But for certain people, in a mass, they don't work. People are going to buy stereos and concert tickets. That comes first. Even that episode.

2:10:36There's some pranels. The chick says my phone's about to get turned off. I got no food and Tony gives them money. And then she comes back. She goes, look at the shoes I got. Right. 600 dollars. And he goes, what happened to that? You know, you got a little. That's everybody's mind. That was my mind. Yeah, especially when you don't have anything. Yeah. What's all of a sudden you have $1 ,200? Look at the fucking Jamie. Look at the credit card debt that this country's in right now. Did you see the credit card debt? All these four out of the country? Do you think people have this money? No. No, what's the credit card debt like?

2:11:07It's fucking insane right now. People are living off their fucking cards, Joe, since the pandemic. Now it's becoming second nature. It's just a card. I don't know if you've been in card debt. You're never going to get out of it. Unless our chunk comes into your life. Right. Not your little $4 ,000 tax return. It's got to be a chunk. You're never going to get out of that fucking debt. I was in huge debt. Huge. Huge. Credit card? No, I got rid of all that. What's your debt? You know, one day I woke up and I owed. Look at this. Maxed out inside America's credit card debt crisis and what we do next.

2:11:47And this is from CNET. It says, our 1 .13 trillion in credit card debt. Wow. It's shattering lives. Every day borrowers share how they're navigating this uniquely American debt machine. That's a lot of money, man. And the thing is they're giving credit cards to people that are too young to really understand debt. You're giving credit cards to 18 -year -olds. No way. That's when I failed. No way. And you know what people... There's a lot of shit going on in colleges. Oh, the colleges. When you get to know that just... That's the worst scam. The worst scam is the education loans. It's the worst scam.

2:12:27It's the worst. It's the worst because you're convincing kids that this is the only way they're going to be successful in life. And a lot of them don't even want to be using it. And then they're saddled down with debt for the rest of their fucking life. And there's not a lot of good options other than that. It's not like there's a lot of other things you could look to. Like this is a better way to go. Like no. Like college for a lot of people is like the only path that seems reasonably lit. Like that path. I could see where that path is. I'm going to walk down that path. And then also in your 100 ,000 in debt, 150 ,000 in debt, you're like...

2:12:56And then you get a job at a college and it's for $52 ,000 a year. You're like, oh my god. How am I going to pay this money off? Well, you're not. You're not. You never got it. And they don't stop. No. And the middle of my debt... The middle of my debt, a fucking student alone popped up. Bro. And they weren't taking no deals. They weren't taking a penny on the dollar. They wanted a full $3 ,000 from fucking 1980 something. Yeah. They're not fucking around those school loans. I have... We have a friend, a mutual friend. Yeah. That decided not to get married. As much as he loved this fucking girl broke up with her because of her debt.

2:13:38Yeah. He goes, if I marry her, 15 grand a month or something, she... You know, it was something crazy. It was something crazy, like her school loans. Yeah. He goes, I can't marry into that. She has a kid in three years. That's on me. Right. Well, it's on you right away when you get married. And if she dies, you owe it. Yeah. It's one of those deals. It's on you. You can get married. And who knows how many? What is the number? Like, what is the number that she owed? Do you remember? Big. Big. Hundreds. A turnie. And she started taking money and taking world trips. Because once you get those student loans, you know.

2:14:16So, again, it's a credit card mentality. I'm already in debt. They're all from me this. That's credit card. To go to Europe. Yeah. You know, one last blast that had to have a fucking nut drama I already have. And then you got to find some insanely rich guy to rescue. Dung, I remember having no credit between you and I didn't know what credit was. Okay. I had no idea. I knew cash. I came from a cash society. First time I walked into the University of Colorado and signed those fucking loan papers and that Pell Grand Paper, I think two days later I had a credit card. But if I went on a limit, I didn't even know how to handle it.

2:14:56And then they told me that you just call them and get the limit up. And I kept calling.

2:15:03And then you don't know. The limit's still stuck. And now you have to go to a casino to have the fucking pit boss call your visa card. That's how they always got money. Just give me a credit card to the pit boss. This is 30 years ago though. Not now. Well, you can just give the credit card to the pit boss and you can call visa for you. And they ramp it up. Yeah, they ramp it up. Not anymore. Good news, Mr. Diaz. You got an extra $2 ,000. Booyah! Let's go. Let's go. Yeah. Do you remember that scam where you would get like ten cassettes for like a dollar? Do you remember that? I don't know. Columbia House.

2:15:40Columbia House. I don't go to Indiana. You never seen me do anything in Indiana. I must go to Columbia House ten million dollars. Are you stupid? I don't go to Indiana. That's Terahot Indiana. Right, look it up. I still remember what that motherfucker came from. I don't even go to Indiana. I don't even want him to remember. And then you would have to buy a new album. Three albums, yeah. Was it every month? You get 12 pennies for a penny. 12 hot hits for a cool penny. I don't even think it was CDs back then. Let's start it. Look, it says cassettes or records. Wow. So how did they make money? Because everything was re -recorded.

2:16:20They took Santana Alms and then put it on like a cheap cassette of something. Oh really? Like it was something. So they re -recorded it? Oh, I thought it was. No, no, it was real. It was real music. No, no, no, no, it's the band. I thought it was different. But it's something that's just catch here. There's some catch. So you had to buy, what I have, a 12 hot for a penny. You had to put the penny on the paper and scotch tape it. Stop right there. AOL may have had the most prevalent mail -in magazine -based marketing campaign in the 90s, but a close second goes to both Columbia House, which is owned by Sony and BMG, which was owned by RCA.

2:16:55It was a common sight in magazines of all shapes and sizes to see ads like the one above, which promoted extremely cheap collections of music and exchange for signing up for a membership. It even single -handedly helps some CDs become hits. Hoody and the Blowfish, for example, is said to have sold over 3 million copies of crack -rear -view through the service. I was going to try to come through to find them. Yeah. What it was. I think what they did is that you would sign up for a credit card bill with this and then all of a sudden you'd start getting billed like 20 bucks a month. Yeah. And it was really hard to stop it.

2:17:25There was no credit card in my day. That was just sending the penny. You get 12. I don't remember a credit card. I don't remember signing up with a credit card. You sent the penny. You sent the penny. It is. Degraded audio quality. In 94, a stereo file magazine published a feature analyzing whether the quality of Columbia House or BMG CDs was actually much lower than one could find in a traditional record store. The belief which hasn't been confirmed was that the service was using lower quality master tapes and on high quality equipment, one could tell the difference. But that said it wasn't confirmed.

2:18:00Lack of royalty payments. Here's another one. So it says mental floss notes that those free CDs generally cost Columbia House $1 .50 each to create a fairly low amount overhead those days. The reason why it was so low. Well, they didn't have to pay royalties on the giveaways and made the money back on the margins. In other words, that Nirvana album you got for free from Columbia House netted Kurt Cobain, a grand total of $0. Wow. So they didn't get paid for those. So the model the company used relied on customers essentially forgetting that they had subscribed to the service and then sending random CDs or cassette tapes to people that haven't asked for them along with a bill.

2:18:42Yep. So kind of thing happened with like a girl's gone wild. Like you'd get one and then they just keep sending you a new video every month. Tell us more Jamie what happened to you. I never paid for it but I do remember getting a few free DVDs in the bill. So high profits after the freebies run out after you got these cassettes and this shipped your way. The company charged high amounts to consumers but they also kept most of the profits on the album sold. Mental floss suggested the company made as much as $7 .50 on each album shipped. Wow. So how much the bands got paid for those from Columbia House.

2:19:18Aggressive bill collection tactics. Consumer affairs and rip off record of each report pages on the service and its collection agency tried in asset management that go back for miles. If you haven't paid for those CDs you got back in the 90s. They're probably still looking to shake you down for your money. Joey. They do them in the 90s. They did it in the 70s. Long time ago. You know what I'm saying. I still remember the album. You know what the fucking first time I got from Columbia House was. What? Buy buy Miss American Pie. Don whatever is there was it. Was it Don? What was his name? I forget that I got like her.

2:19:58I got like her.

2:20:02John McClain. John McClain. John McClain. I still remember that one I bought like a little one Santana Braxis. That was a song that would come out of parties and everybody just started singing. This is a great fucking song. Great jam. Yeah. Didn't Tyson Fury have the entire audience sing that after one of his fights? I think Tyson Fury sang that fucking song to an entire audience.

2:20:36I said those who bring evil against me will not prosper. I said those who stand in the dark can never come into the light or praise be to the one who only true God Jesus Christ. Secondly, I just want to say big shout out to the young Tay Wilder. You know he came here tonight. He mandered up. He really did show heart of a champion. I hit him with a clean light and then he got back up and battled on into round seven. He is the warrior. He will be back. He will be a champion again. Say the King has returned to the top of the throne. Big shout out. That's right here. Big shout out to Frank Warren Barbarum, NTK Global, Barbator BT, Barbator code at UK, Wild Hydraite, Second of all I said I'd sing a song tonight.

2:21:32Get out of the get out.

2:21:43Sing along.

2:22:00Sing along.

2:22:23Listen to his crowd.

2:22:32That's Donner right here. Barbarum.

2:22:45That's amazing. I like this song but another one. When Gentiles jump up and down which one? The one by Neil Diamond. They have the new commercial with a bunch of black people in Mexicans on the bar jumping up and down. Black people in Mexicans will never jump up. Which song? Which song? You said it too fast. I'm like having a mind blind blink right now but it's the thing like a baseball game is a lot. It drives me crazy. I know what it is. They sing in the haptons all the time. Gentiles get together. Sweet Caroline. Sweet Caroline. It drives me crazy. He sings that one too. I love Neil Diamond.

2:23:26But that song when it comes on a bar and I see people on the bar. It drives me crazy. And now they have a Budweiser commercial. With like brothers and Mexicans jumping up and down. Stop. Stop it. It's a great song. Tyson Fury. We're covered. Yeah.

2:23:47Motherfucker. Motherfucker.

2:23:51Motherfucker. I love that guy. That's the way they end the boxing match by some. Oh my god. That's fucking great. And he got the whole crowd to sing along. They all stayed. Most people leave when the fights over. Especially when you win by knockout. They stayed. Because they want to hear him talk. You know, unusual that is. Where a whole crowd is willing to stay to listen to the guy talk. Watch what happens at a UFC main event. When say like someone wins. There's a few people who stick around. They want to see the post -fights beach. But most people are head for the fucking door. If Leon Edwards starts singing sweet Caroline.

2:24:26I'd be great. I love Leon. That'd be great. Or something. Something that people know. There's a few of those songs that everybody knows. Somebody with a Brazilian accent. Oh yeah. Yeah. Or Boy Romero. Right. To sing sweet. You know how to sing sweet Caroline. Joey, it's this day that was one of my favorite podcasts of all time. You translating for YoL Romero. He had me lost. Did he? My Spanish is fucking, you know. I got to be around those people where we die. You're pretty good. You're pretty good. I know. He was, you know, it's just what a character that guy is. Bro, he just won. He still hits me up.

2:25:06Yeah. He's still a good good guy. He's a very good guy. He just beat Tiago Silva in... in... PFL versus Bellator. Man, that's us. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I know you. He's the best man. That guy. Imagine what would happen if that guy got into MMA at 22. He didn't even get to the UFC to his in his late 30s. That guy would have killed everybody. What is he now? He's 46, 47. Yeah, it just beat Tiago Silva. He, Tiago Silva's still legit. Still fucking super dangerous. That's great. Tiago Silva went to a split decision with John Jones. Yeah, that guy. Yo, while we're married, just beat him. Make sure it's a split decision.

2:25:58That might not be correct. I want to, I want to be sure about that. But it was a close fight. Close fight. Like he got in, he's a good fighter. John fucked his knees up though. John destroyed that, dude. He's knees. Why don't you John come back? Well, John tore his pec muscle. It's a big one. Torrid off the bone in wrestling practice. You could actually see it in the video. He shoots and they're in the scramble. And he just screams and falls back and grabs his chest. Split decision. Split decision. Yeah. So on one judge's scorecard, Tiago Silva beat the greatest fighter of all time. Yeah. Excuse me.

2:26:36Tiago Santos beat the greatest fighter of all time. And then Yoel just beat him. I mean, I know it's been a slide since then. What was that 2017? What year was that, Jamie? 2016.

2:26:54It doesn't say the date on Wikipedia. I'm looking at the main page. Social stats, but not the date of the fight. That's interesting. It does here. 2019. Okay. So that's not that long ago, man. Five years ago. Yoel is, I think he's at least 46. He turns 47 at the end of April. He looks fucking great. He looks fucking great. He moves fucking great. He looks great. He doesn't look slow. He doesn't look old. He's slow America's top team. That's a good question. I don't know who's going to come up with this Cuban scientist. Yeah. He'll come over from Cuban stuff. Someone's doing something right. They just popped one of the UFC guys.

2:27:38Oh my God. He's got four years. Four years. And he's 40. So that's essentially a career ender. But when you're 40, dude, in your fighting, in your training, every day, you're doing two a days and three a day, he's like, bro, you're fucking, your testosterone gets beat down. Your system gets beat down. You're putting a tax on your system that's very hard to deal with at that age. Oh yeah. It's a big difference. You get a guy who's 22 years old and you put him through a fight camp. That's a guy who can recover. As long as he's doing the right things, he's eating right and he's sleeping right and he's hydrating right, he can recover.

2:28:15You can get through the camp. It's hard shit. I mean, a real fight camp for MMA is one of the most difficult endeavors in all professional sports. You have to fight five rounds, 25 minutes of actual fighting and a championship level fight. And you're getting kicked and punched and wrestled and you're getting taken down. You're trying to get back up. The exertion level is so insane. When you watch Cheeto versus Sugashan, at the end of that fight, even though Sugashan put on a clinic, I mean, he put on a clinic. At the end of that shot, he was beat the fuck up. He walked out of there with a foot cast, an arm cast.

2:28:55He's limping through the hallway. I mean, and he won. And then Cheeto's just busted up, man. His whole face is busted up. I mean, those guys are exhausted. They went through hell. And it took them 12 weeks to get into kind of peak physical condition just to be able to do that. I mean, it's a crazy way to make a living, man. And you're depending on all these things that break so easy. All this stuff, you're going to use this to make your living and feed your family. You have a wife and kids. And you're going to depend on your tissue and your bones to stay in place while you're smashing people in the face.

2:29:37And you're getting smashed and you're getting your arm barred and you're getting your leg ripped. All this shit is happening to you. You're next getting tweaked. Your back falls down. You're tweaking your lower back. Your hamstrings fucked. Your hip hurts now. And you're fighting to hurt. You're going to fight. They all fight hurt. They all fight hurt. They all fight hurt. You know, it's like you said, 12 weeks and shit happens. Yeah. Anything to do. And you know, you got to figure out a way to make it into the cage. And so some of them like Tom Aspenall, he didn't even, he fucked his rib up, preparing for that fight with a Sergey Pavlovich.

2:30:11So he's like, he could even wrestle. He's fighting. This gigantic terrifying Russian who knocks everybody into the dark dimensions and he can't even wrestle. He can't do the one thing that you would think he needs to do to that guy. Pavlovich fucks everybody up, fuck Derek Lewis up standing. He fucked a lot of people up, tied to Ivasa. He's fucking people up, beating them up standing. He's a dangerous cat. He's giant. He's giant. He's a giant. And Aspenall couldn't even, you know, he, but he had to take that chance and it worked out for him. You know, but then look, Islam Makachev. You know, when he had the rematch with Volkanovsky, he's preparing for Charles Oliver, Charles Oliver gets cut.

2:30:52Makachev steps in or Alexander steps in with fucking 11 days notice. And he rematches where the guy has gone through a full camp. It's crazy. That doesn't happen in boxing ever. If Tyson Fury gets cut 10 days before he's supposed to fight Anthony Joshua, they don't just call Usic up and go, what are you doing in 10 days? That never happens ever, especially at a championship level, not just championship level, but the two guys who are widely considered to be the very best pound for pound fighters in the world. Number one and number two up until the Ilya Tuporio fight. Number one and number two, most people's eyes up until the second Makachev fight.

2:31:36Before that fight, it was Volkanovsky was like there was the debate whether it was Makachev or Volkanovsky was number one. And so Makachev knocks him out with a head kick. He's only had 10 days to prepare. He doesn't look the same. He gets rocked. He gets beat up in that fight. And then he goes and fights to pour in and gets knocked out. So the whole world that you live in, you go from being the best pound for pound fighter on earth, the fucking man. To just months later, you're not even the best in your division anymore. The best guy in your division just knocked you unconscious and now he has your bell and he's 10 years younger than you.

2:32:11That dude is tight too. The Ilya Tuporio whatever. He's fucking tight. He's tight. He's just tight. Everything is so sharp. His technique is flawless. Everything is flawless. His boxing is so dangerous. He's so dangerous everywhere. He's dangerous with submissions. He's dangerous with kicking. He's dangerous. His heart is dangerous. He thought this dude, Jay Herbert and he went up to 155 for that fight. So he's a 45 pounder and he said, fuck it. I'll take a fight of 55. He gets head kicked in the first round by Jay Herbert is a nasty stand -up fighter. He's so good. He's real slick. He's real real good stand -up.

2:32:53He's like real sharp stand -up. And he caught Tuporio with the perfect head kick. And Tuporio, he's in real trouble. He got dropped and he scrambled. Got a hold of him. Next round sent him into the dark lands. Blasted him against the... I mean literally slept him. Face planted him. And walk off KO. He's an animal dude. He's a real problem because he's intelligent. He's dedicated. He's driven. He's got that kind of confidence that those championship guys have, where they know they're the best, even before they're the best. He knew he was the best, even before. And he's literally fighting the best guy ever in that division.

2:33:35And he's telling everybody, I'm going to fuck this dude up inside of two rounds. Let's see if I can get him next. Good question. I don't know who he's fighting next. So he wanted to go up and fight Islam Makachev at 155. And then that was talk. People talked about that. And then they were also talking about... Shaka Sean said he wanted to go up and fight Toporia. But Toporia said, no, I want you to fight Marab, who's also from Georgia, just like Ilya is born in Georgia. And Marab is the rightful guy that should be fighting in 35. So that's going to happen there. But if Sean gets past Marab, you could see a world where they can make a championship fight at 145.

2:34:19But Ilya Toporia essentially is kind of cleaned out the division already. The real dangerous guy is like Josh Emmett. He peace that dude up. Wow. He peace Josh Emmett up. He beat his ass. He's just so good man. And he fought different with Emmett. Because Emmett is terrifying. That guy is just a behemoth. At 145, that dude puts people to sleep. He's that guy that knocked out Bryce Mitchell with that one punch. Oh, yeah. Josh Emmett is a terrifying striker. He just throws everything into every punch. And he knows all he has to do is hit you once. And so that's how he fights. And so Ilya just fought real clever.

2:34:57Just moved in, moved back, moved in, moved back. Didn't charge forward. Just aware of the power. Until he could start piecing him up. And then just start piecing him up. It just pretty tactically, he's so smart. So it's not just his ability to skill. It's knowing when to apply it. And how to adjust to different kinds of fighters. But the Jai Herbert one might have been the most impressive one. Dude, he got, see if he could find that he got head kicked. He gets hits with a switch high kick off the left leg right to the face man. I mean, like this. Like, boom. Like he just dropped. Which is, you know, 99 times out of 100.

2:35:36It's like the beginning of the end. Look at this. Look at that left high kick. Watch this. Boom! I mean, dude, he got fucking cracked on the chin, dude. Look how perfect it is. Oh, it's perfect. I mean, it is a perfect high kick. And Jai Herbert's dangerous, dangerous, too. But he got lucky that he got a hold of a leg, you know. And also that he didn't try to stand up. He actually got knocked down. If he was standing up, Jai Herbert could have caught him with a bunch of other shots and put him away. Because once you get hurt, if you can get a hold of someone, it gives you at least seconds to try to clear your head.

2:36:16Because sometimes it takes your head, like a few seconds to reboot. And you can still hold onto someone while that's happening. And maybe you can survive. So in the case he did. But now show the knockout. Show Toporia knockin' out Jai Herbert. So in the second round, he just times him with this right hand from hell. And it's a good fight up until then, man. Jai Herbert is a tall, what, what could this? He's a tall 55. And you can see by his movement, like very skillful striker, very dangerous and long. So Ilya gets him up against the cage. Look at the rip to the body. Boom! Oh my god. Bro, but look at the combination before that.

2:36:57He sets it up by a left to the body. Watch this left to the body. Watch it. Boom! Bang! Hard left hook to the body, right hand over the top. Look at this. Boom! Right to the liver. Boom! And bro, that was a solid liver punch too. Because you see him breathe out after he gets hit. Show that right there again, right before, watch. He gets hit with this left to the body. Look at him breathe out. Poo! See his mouth fill up? That's like, ooooh! It's a perfect liver punch. And then a perfect right hand behind it. So he might have been knocked out just from that liver punch, son. He might have went down a half a second later from that liver punch.

2:37:34That's how good that punch is. And then he hit some of that right hand over the top to a porous. Terrifying. Terrifying. To go back to what you were talking about earlier with YoL. And this fucking guy was watching this morning. He's 39 years old. Fucking LeBron. LeBron looks awesome. He looks awesome. Do you see Chell Sonne's been rantin' and screaming? He's on steroids. Everyone knows he's on steroids. He's had it with him in 35 minutes. He's a fucking game. He's top five in the NBA in minutes. Do they test NBA players? I don't know. Jamie, what are they testin' for? They testin' for testosterone placement?

2:38:16Alcohol. No reefer. No reefer. No reefer. No, never. They can't. They won't have a leak. It's too good for... It's too good for... They will have a leak. It's the same reason why it's so good for pool. It's gotta be so good for basketball. Puts you in that zone. We just feel it. You feel things more. Anything reefer. Yes. Puts you in that fucking... You know, LeBron had music on. Yeah. My Zeppelin came on. And I was sittin' there and also I went back and I'm like... To be honest with you. To be honest with you. This is the reason when I smoked pot. Mmm. That's the reason I would never have done a drug.

2:38:49But I knew it was gonna sound a lot better with that reefer. It does. Isn't it crazy? Food taste better. Baskable. Baskable. It smells better. Lifting weights with reefer. Oh my god. You feel my gums. Riding a bike with reefer. You know what I think? I don't do a reefer's role. Fuck you. You don't... Did you get to? No. No. Interesting. No. A lot of people do. I don't get what fuck. Including this guy. I don't know. No. That donkey dude. No. I went to his seminar. He was smoking. Jeff. Oh yeah. He was hilarious. Jeff Glover. Oh. Yeah. He's hilarious. He's hilarious though. Yeah. He's fucking good too.

2:39:29He's good too. You know, that reefist shit somebody mounted me once and I was hiding and having a beeee. That was it. Time out. Time out. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. It's amazing. It will. No. Yeah. Anything like that? Riding. Oh my god. Riding when you giggle. Yeah. And you're like, what the fuck? But this... What I wanna talk to you about was recuperation at that age. Got to be really smart. That's what I wanna talk to you about. Well, LeBron spends a lot of money. He's like famous for spending money on his recovery, right? Massage. Everything. Cold plunges and so on and everything.

2:40:04Gotta give it to him. You have to. He's at the very top of his game and he's worth a billion dollars. You know what I mean? He's at the billion dollar property. He's at the top of his fucking game. I mean, and he looks like a superhero. I mean LeBron looks like a superhero. You look at him like, good lord. Show a photo of him like his body. You know what I mean? Is there any shirtless photos of LeBron? Let me take my pants off. You don't know any of it. You know, you won't know this because it's basketball. But like... That's like an act flexing. Dude, look at that. Yeah. And how tall is he? Six, eight, seven, eight.

2:40:40LeBron... LeBron James diet reveals he eats like shit but trains. Wow, I don't know what this is. I mean, he eats a lot of candy but as... That's when he was younger too. Wow, he... I mean... He's good too, man. He's also slimmed down from where he was. Yeah. I was back when he was younger like his first five years in the league. They argued he could be up to 300 pounds. So is this him now? That's him now. He's quite close to like 260. Okay, so he definitely looks slimmer in that picture than he did in the other picture where he was lifting weights. Sure. But that was also right off, you know, right out of...

2:41:12In the gym. Mm -hmm. It says that he appears to have lost 10 to 12 pounds instead of that photo. So yeah, you see that photo in the gym. He looks different. And it's still shredded. Yeah. Looks like an MMA fighter. He looks like he could be like a UFC heavyweight champion. He's shredded. I got no problem with a professional athlete doing whatever he needs. Yeah, well as long as they're not a fighter. Because you're a professional. If no, I'm not fighters. No, I know that stuff. Yeah. I'm talking about like for recovery, you know, that stuff. Yeah. He looks great. He looks like he's a new shit dead dude in the training with people.

2:41:50Yeah. Is just, you know, I go to basketball games and I told you. I see those athletes that Jason Kidd from fucking Boston. Doug, when he goes to the basket, you're not stopping him. It's unreal. How quick he is. You watch and he's six but six. Mm -hmm. These guys are super fucking athletes. Well, it's like everything else, Joey. They get a chance to see the people before them and then they get better. They get better than those people. Like every sport, if you go in, there's always going to be the few outliers like Muhammad Ali. If you took Muhammad Ali from 1967 and brought him to the heavyweight division today, he'd be fucking people.

2:42:27They wouldn't know what to do with him. There's so many fighters he would fuck up. But he's just a complete outlier. But, and you know, there's other like Michael Jordan, complete outlier. Any generation you put in, and he's going to fuck people up. Larry Bird, complete outlier. Any generation he's going to score from the court. But if you get the overall, the athletes, like UFC today is the best example of it. Because it's one of the clearest, you could go to 93, 2024, and you see this massive evolution. You see these people that are fighting on the undercards of these fight cards. Like the UFC fight cards, the fight night cards, they have the smaller cards, they do it the Apex Center.

2:43:09You see in World Championship caliber fighters from 10 years ago, like they would probably beat a lot of World Champions. And this is their UFC debut. That's how good these guys are. They revolve a lot. Everything is a lot of the lot. Error. It's amazing. It's amazing the training when you look at them. Did you see this past fight night this last weekend with Rosename Unis? No, no. In the undercard, this kid Cameron Simon, who's like one of the best guys at 135, very slick striker, South African kid, like very tough, very good kid. He fought this dude, Peyton Talbot. And I'd never seen this guy fight before.

2:43:51This kid is a mother fucker dude. He's so good. He's 25 years old. He's fought like once, I think in the UFC and once in the contender series. And this is my first time watching him. And I was like, Jesus Christ man. He's so fucking now that doing this is that 12. Now they're doing this at 12 and they dedicated to MMA. There's MMA classes. See if you find that knockout. See if they find the knee he would hit him with in the first round. I think in the beginning of the fight he was fucking about. I think everything has a window. That's what we're getting to. Like especially with the UFC. It's when you get to the UFC, you have to give yourself a window.

2:44:33Because after a while that's the thing about fighting. Go on forever. Yeah there's very few guys that are like Jim Miller. Jim Miller is still fighting at a world class level. Brad Tavaris, just still knocked you to fuck out. Oh Brad Tavaris. He just beat Chris Whiteman. I love Brad. He looked fantastic. Yeah. Tavaris. That was a very good kid. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. Kicking the shit out of him. And just looked slick. Look very good. Very good. I think he was the only one who would stand up. But now you got these guys. Remember these guys got into it in 18 when they got to college. Yeah. They were at Los Angeles.

2:45:06These kids you've been in the punk man. That's the thing you gotta realize about Brad. Brad was thrown to the lion's den when he was like in his early early 20s. I think Brad Tavaris. Oh yeah. I think he's only 33. Yeah he's a kid. He's been around forever. He fought YoL back in the day. Yeah he's fought a lot of fucking people. A lot of people man. Yeah. So those guys, but those guys come one in the dozen. You know longevity. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah Jim Miller is the most extreme example of it. He fought UFC 200. He's gonna fight UFC 300. Like what the fuck dude? And he looked awesome.

2:45:40And he still teaches. Yeah. Well no he doesn't do that anymore. That's also what's helped him a lot. He sold his gym. Okay. It was too much. He explained that when he came on the podcast, it's just too much work. You're dealing with so many different things. And so now that he could just like concentrate on just his camps and get ready. It's like much better. He probably still teaches some classes. I think he enjoys teaching. I think running the gym was the real problem. It's a lot of work man. I think that's, I think I'm correct. A lot of common going you get to. Yeah. Also you're dealing with personality issues.

2:46:14And if you are on a business, you have to deal with people that are arguing with other people there. You're like, oh god. And then this guy might be stealing money. Or this guy might be doing something he's not supposed to be doing. He said he was doing this. But he's doing that. He's trying to cut corners and like fuck. And you have to deal with this and that. And the business you have to be that. And he's martial artists. I open up these schools. I open up like a chain of them. And they're never at one of them. Yeah. And then what's going on? You never know. Yeah, you'd have to really trust the people that are running that school for you.

2:46:45They'd have to be like really well trained in the part of your family. You know, you could pull it off. Like the machados have done that. But they've had machados have had various machado satellite schools that are owned by John Jock's Black Peltz. And they're always great. They're great. They're always great. But John Jock is on a different level. Yeah. And by me, I have the graces. And they got it down to a side. Oh yeah. They really, you know, I was talking to Ralloy the other day. And we were just talking to Ralloy. I think what's around me? I got Tom. I got the silver fox. I got what's his name as an hour from me, Ricardo Armada.

2:47:20Yeah. I got all those guys right in my right there. We were talking about it. He's like, you're in heaven now. It's a great, you just environment. It's a beautiful fucking and it's all hands up. Mm -hmm. Hands up. All those black belts are silver fox. Fucking. Hands up is going to empire. Oh, fucking empire. He's got guys in LA. He's got guys here. He's got guys everywhere. He's got schools everywhere. He's got the school in Brooklyn. They're all great. They're all great. You always hear great things about all of his school. Listen, my lunchtime guy, he just took second in the pan amps. That's wild.

2:47:51He's great. He's great. He's got to teach us the lunchtime classes. Yeah. He's great. That's awesome. He's like a baby. Mm -hmm. Have you throw like a baby? I love him. And he's changed the class, you know? But what my point was that in two years that I've been there, the lunchtime class, it's a whole new set of people every 90 days. You still got a couple of brown belts that are older than they come. But it's just, it's a never -ending door. Mm -hmm. Four people sign up, four people quit. Three people, you know, it's one of those things. Right. Right. And once you get the blue belt, they disappear.

2:48:28Some of them do, yeah. No, a high percentage of it. Yeah, what is the number of people that go past blue belt? It seems like they get happy that they have a little something, a little kind of a belt, and then they keep going. And it's, uh, but it's hard though. You get injured, you know? And you have to learn how to roll correctly. Like where you, you got to tap. Tapping is important. You got to tap to save your body. Too many people fight out of shit that you shouldn't fight out of. Just learn how to not be in there. This is it. So this is the dude. So Cameron Simon, first of all, a high level contender.

2:49:01This is the end of the fight. When he's fucking him, oh, shit. But you got to see like the stand up before that, like in the first round is some of the most impressive shit. I mean, he's just, he moves so good, man. And he's got high, literally that's, that knee right there. Back it up a little bit before that. So this combination he catches him with. And it's just the timing. Like look at the timing on this knee. Watch this. Boom. And if you hear it, it sounds like a baseball bat hitting a coconut. I mean, it's a perfectly timed knee. And he was just so fucking devastating. Yeah, actually, you know what I'm saying?

2:49:37And just look like he was having fun in there. And this kid's 25 years old, right? So this kid, when you want, look at him, he's got this very interesting personality. You hear him talking like, okay, you're looking at a future superstar. And there's a lot of these, look at that left hook. Tight, tight left hook. Ooh, there's a lot of these guys right now. There's so many people coming up right now that are so high level. Like one, two fights into the UFC. You look at him like, good lord. That's a world championship caliber fighter. What a fucking heart, Korea though. You're right. That's the hardest.

2:50:09That's the hardest. Last night, two tonight, some kid came up to me with a Houston shirt at the club. And he had number 34, whatever. Lawrence, the guy Lawrence get Campbell, Earl Campbell. And I'm gonna think I'm about to hit me some fucking wheelchair. You know, more of that running, he didn't have the technology we had right now. You know, to turn things around. Hips and knees and knees. Yeah. And that's a fucking nightmare. But now we're learning. You know, obviously over time and mispatric studies and shit like that. We've learned more about it. Jiu -Jitsu for me at 61. As I go to class, I do all the drills.

2:50:48I do the warm up. When it comes time to roll, I look around. I pick and choose. You know, you have to. Yeah. And I know what I'm there for. I'm not there to go to competition. I'm up to be a world fighter. Right. You know, I go to Jiu -Jitsu for the social. I love it. I love going in and getting sweaty. I can beat up my nut at 10 times. You know that. Yeah. But it doesn't matter to me. That's comedy. You get beat up. Right. And you get better. You learn how to outlast the show. It's good for you too. It's good for fucking an older person. But you have to know what you're going in there for. Right.

2:51:22You're not going in there to fucking tap the blue belt or the purple belt. You're not going in there to defend yourself. I've watched all Hicks and is my boy. You know, and I watch all his tapes and shenny. He does his thing about it. If you're thinking that we're going into the gym later on, this is my advice. And I took it like a tea. Pick two days. Pick two days a week. And go. Stick to those two days. I do a core class every week. And I do a blue belt class every week. That's it. I lift weights. I ride the bike. I do all the other shit. I box my garage, you know. But I enjoy it. The process is great.

2:51:55I'm not good at it. But I go. And some days you get a good fucking roll. And some days you get beat up. But at least you're getting exercises. I'm sweating. I'm talking to guys. I'm talking to guys. You're staying a little younger because you're talking to younger guys. These guys are all cops. Well, it's also you're you're in the moment. Like when you're doing jiu -jitsu, you're literally trying to defend. And as I choke on me, I'm like, you cock suckers. I get hot on the shit. They giggle. You're a day some guy had my back. A brother. I love this guy. And I'm looking at he's choking me. And I'm trying to defend the choke.

2:52:26I'm trying to get him down. And I was like, oh, for a brother, you guys getting free. He goes, mother fucker. I fuck it home. So they're gonna submit me. I crack a joke. He's a fucking wrong with you. I'm an old man. Fuck you off me. Fuck Jesus Joey.

2:52:46That's hilarious. And that's what it's about. Yeah. It's about a bunch of guys. A lot of older guys in the daytime. That's great. 304 guys older than me. That's great. This is a 67 year old. He's nasty joke. That's awesome. But he's a black belt and tight one dope. Like he had a tight one dope school for who he is. But there's a couple older guys. That guy looks just like fucking. He got an inventive electricity. Edison. Edison. That's what they call when he comes in. He finally got a haircut. You don't look all fucked up no more. But I fuck around with him on Mondays. He's great. He's a jikun dog guy.

2:53:19Oh wow. He's done jikun. You know, these old guys are fucking great. So it's social. A lot of cops. You know. It's fun thing to do too. It's very fucking fun. And it's also one of those things that while you're doing it, you can't think about anything else. Because it's so difficult to do. I think those things are good for your brain. Dog, when you have a rub day, like the phone's ringing. And you're like, you know what? Fuck this. We want this by one. This was do it. 230. You know what? Fuck you. You want to do jits. Yeah. You can't bother me. I don't even bring my phone upstairs. Also, it's so much harder than anything else you're going to do.

2:53:55That everything else just seems easier. I look at that whoop watch. And I can't believe I burn like 400 calories in the whole class. Forget the blue bell class. You wear a whoop while you do jits too? Yeah. I guess scratch people with that thing? No, it's hidden under here. Okay. You can put it on your arm. Oh, you can put an arm one over right there. Yeah, you can put that one on. You can put the chest one on. You know. And I see the people that are getting hurt. Is the 30 -year -olds that go in there to kill themselves. They're starting from their feet. You know, fuck all that shit. My judo days are over.

2:54:25You ain't throwing me. It's good with hurt your knees. And I'm not going to grab you either. Yeah. You passed the guard. You know, you do little things. You're fucking dola heva. You know, shit like that. And that's it. And you go home. Yeah. Not looking to be a killer. I'm going to be a bodyguard. I'm just looking to get exercise. How much are you getting up on stage in Jersey? Twice a week. Yeah. Not good enough. Yeah, you just to keep the dust off it. But it's not good enough. Yeah. It's not good enough at all. I write a lot more. I noticed that this last job was given away jokes. I just talked to comics and go take this because I'm not going to use it.

2:55:00Right. You know, I just think of shit. And I write it down. It's fun, man. I forgot how much fun it is to write. It's real fun, but you just got to be in a place where you could do it all the time. All the time. You know, that's the beautiful thing about here. All the time. No, you got this. Listen, this is the best scene in the country. They're starting to open a manager's office here and fucking agencies. And you were telling me that. That's crazy. This is going to be a fucking utopian here. Those big cities are going to be forgotten about for comedy. Yeah, they're going to be doing comedy, but not like you're doing it down here.

2:55:31Not with eight clubs around you in 16 -1 nighters. It's also just exciting because it's a new thing. Like, there was never a scene like this here before. So now the scene's here and so many great comics are here. And it's a new thing. The guys are getting better too. They're getting better. Do you see Derek last night? I saw. Derek Poston. No, what are they doing? They've seen Asan. Did you see Asan? Asan's improved, bro. Holy fuck. Bro. He got a lot better. He got a lot better. He's confident, right all the time. Works hard. He was on the core crew and the workout crew. He's on the course. He's always there.

2:56:10Where do you have him? Right here. And the gym. And what time do they come? We do it at one, I don't want to say on the air, but we do it. You do it every day? No. Depends. Okay. Different days. It took some time off. And you got him doing kettlebells? I got him doing all kinds of stuff. Pushing the sled, hitting the bags. I got him doing tabatas. I do intervals on the bag. I explained intervals from tabata intervals of 20 seconds work, 10 seconds rest. So you just cycle of eight. So, um, so I give him gloves. And I say, don't try to be a hero. This is what I want you to do. Just, this is how you throw a left hand.

2:56:42This is how you throw a right hand. Just, I want to see you hit the bag. Just like this. You're not going to try to do it hard. I just want you to do it constantly. And most of them have hit a bag or something before a little bit. And so I say, don't, don't worry about hitting it hard. I just want you to hit it. And don't hurt yourself. And you're going to do it for 20 seconds at a pretty fast clip. And then you're going to rest for 10 and do 20 seconds rest for 10. Do that a cycle for a cycle of eight. That's good for cardio, right? So they're doing it on the bike. They're doing it on the bike.

2:57:08It's great for cardio. It's one of the best ways to develop cardio is the tabata interval for whatever reason. I don't know why. But so we did that at the end. So we did the kettlebell workout and then we do the sled and then we hit the back. I was putting them through like real workouts and then we do sauna and cold plunge. You know, but that all goals would be in a good comic. It's work. You know that. That's work. Work out. And when I was doing it, you know that good. It's work and it makes you feel better about yourself. It makes you feel better. It makes your body feel better. It makes your brain feel better.

2:57:39It also makes you feel like you're not lazy and stagnant. Like there's been times where I get up and for whatever reason, I'm just not feeling it. And I fuck off and I look at my phone and I make some phone calls. And then the next thing you know, I'm not getting in the cold plunge. The next thing you know, I'm not going to work. And the day or I'm not going to work out before work. And the days that I realize I'm doing that, I can stop, put your phone down, get in the water. Were the days that I was happier. I always felt better if I did what I needed to do. Because then I felt like I've already done the thing that was the hardest thing to do today.

2:58:18That's how I feel. So now I'm on a good path. I've got a good path. You see what happens to me when I eat. I thought I'd do everything early. Yeah. My world is early. Early is good though. I like it. It's good. Get it out of the way. It also sets up the rest of your day. You know, get that really physically difficult thing done early. And then it sets up the rest of your day. But the thing is like what I'm trying to say is like I'm not immune to those feelings of laziness and those feelings of procrastination. You know, and there's a handful of days over the last few years that I've done nothing and should have.

2:58:55Should have worked out and I just fucked off too much. And I just did wind up doing it. And my mind was like, yeah, you work out basically every day. Like take a day off, pussy. But then I don't feel that good. Then the rest of the day I'm like, why did I do that? Now I feel stupid. Now I feel like I'm lazy or I'm not centered. But you know, I need to do something. I need to do something. For my brain as much as for my body. I need to do something everyday. I haven't slept all day, you know. Really? Five hours, six hours. So the last night I went to bed at fucking two. That's so fun. We're having so much fun.

2:59:25And I got up at 4 .40. Oh no. I'm like, what the fuck Joey? Oh no. And I stayed up til about six. And I hit the crib again and I got up at fucking eight to call my daughter. And I got up like at nine, eight thirty. I was up. I get dressed, I roll a joint, I brush my teeth, and I fucking get out of the house. And I go for a nice walk in Austin. You know? You been joining here? Very much so. I'm looking at it. It's a different look. It looks completely different than what I'm looking at. Just come down every now and again. Oh, I am. Yeah. Okay, once a month. Coming down next month. A few days. And I need two tickets for that.

3:00:03For what 20 show for you? Needle boys. Okay. Let's go. I went to a restaurant. I want to tell you about. I got a dish. I've been dying to tell you. It's called char and red bank. I told you. I got two chefs at the Jiu -Jitsu School. I got your boy from the steakhouse 57. The head chef. Yeah. And I got the other disc guy from char. He kept telling me, come on. Come on. It's a red bank. You know? Thirty minutes. I don't want babies to this. I went good Friday. Big fucking steak. It's a steakhouse. And I told him. And he goes, I get it. He goes, I'm a hook here. This motherfucker gave me yellow fin tacos.

3:00:40Right. Because you're not supposed to eat meat on Friday. I don't give none enough for that. But I just won't eat meat. Which is easy for me. I don't give a fuck. And I had the lobster dumplings. And then he sent over to my wife. Doesn't give a fuck about Catholicism. So she ordered. But we ate so many appetizers. She's like, Joe, I can't eat this dog. She ordered short rib over Yokey with a garlic sauce. And the Yokey just melted in your mouth. It was tiny homemade Yokey. I didn't eat it that night. I got high the next day. And I saw it was in the refrigerator. And I tasted it. Joe Rogan. I had orgasms come out of every home.

3:01:18I fucking body. And the stamina. I called him and he goes, Joey, if you want to bring... I'll stop by. I live right around the corner. I'm there. Don't you fucking dare. I don't want that shit around me every fuck. It was so fucking good, man. It was so fucking good. The ill -needles. Amazing. There's something about Jersey Italian food. Son, it's on another level. It's very difficult to get stuff like that out here. I can't wait for Sunday. Did you come home? No, I'm coming home tomorrow. But Sunday, I go to Easter Sunday. And I go to Austria. They got this fucking. And they make a Sunday sauce.

3:01:4933 dollars. Oh. Talk. 33 dollars. On meatball this big. They give you a fucking pork rib. That's in the sauce. A big stick. Like a big pork rib. They give you a bragel. And a big sausage. For 33 dollars. I usually split it with my daughter. I can't eat that old fucking thing. The meatball is the die for. It's the fucking die for. He gets pissed at me. He's like, yeah. He tell people about the meatball. And the reason they spend money on the big shit. They come here for the Sunday. It's fucking, you know. Who makes Sunday sauce, Joe? Well, that was always a... I don't have time. Yeah, I don't know how to make it.

3:02:25And the people, you know, they make it. But this is no drum. You just go down there. Oh. I love all that shit. But I even got it. Like now I just split a plate. Now I can eat the whole thing. Those days are gone. The meatball is so fucking good, Joe. Oh. Oh. Yeah, there's not a lot. I mean, I haven't eaten it too many Italian places out here. But there's... I'm sure there's a bunch. How you been to sammies? I heard sammies is great. You ever been there? I'm fine. That's the spot that people keep talking about. I like it. There's just some spots. There's a place in fucking sea cork. It's a rather fun.

3:03:03It's owned by a special... You eat this meatball, your heart will stop. It's that fucking good. Yeah. But El Mito got some good wine on meatballs too. Yeah. Good ones. Well, let's let that old immigrant style... East Coast Jersey Italian food. Well, different. They put everything in there, don't they? They feel and fucking meatballs. Especially the Sunday sauce. When you would see the oils bubbling up on the surface of the pot. And the grandmother would be stirring it. And with a wooden spoon? My grandmother did. Yeah, my grandmother was the big cook. It was insane. My grandmother could cook. She'd make homemade pasta.

3:03:38She'd have the kitchen table, flour out there, roll in everything. Making it with the roller. Cranking the pasta through the machine. Look at that. Good Lord. How is a person supposed to eat well and healthy when that's available? That's off -screen, right? That looks pretty fucking good, Joey. Talking about fucking around. No. But you guys are in need. I got to get credit with credit. It's still. Those fucking tacos the other night. And that's just from the truck on the street. That's a truck on the street. Yeah. But guess what? I can't get that in Jersey. Mexican food is god awful. Really? I even told one of the waitresses we were talking.

3:04:13I go to Mexican foods, terrible. The refried greens look like they were made from powder. Like not a mashed potato. And the kid goes, hey, got those. I go, I knew they were fucking powdered refried greens. They have powdered refried greens. The Mexican food is horrible. I don't know where these Mexican came from. They're not a apocalypse, those. The fucking food is fucking terrible. That's the only thing I miss about that light. That and that fucking sushi. Yeah. I miss the fucking albacore plate with the garlic on top and onions. Oh. LAs had good food, but god damn they killed so many restaurants.

3:04:50I don't even know the sushi place I was going to. It's that sushi. Yeah, a lot of them went under. But probably what you've done down here is fucked and I got to commend you, man. That's a great club. I got to tell you I was blown away the first night. It's been pretty fun. It's, uh, and it's a year now. It's crazy as it seems. It's a happy opening year. And everybody's come through here. That's crazy. Yeah. It's been crazy. It's been awesome. You did good brother. We're just getting started. We're just getting started. Yeah. It's been beautiful having you down here too. Oh, just to see what you're doing and to see the club.

3:05:26There's so much enthusiasm as that club. Yeah. You know, when you walk in people are happy that like I told you, I love to spectate. I'm a spectator, bro. I love to sit, smoke pot and watch. Don't say a fucking word. And when I watched the way that people were interacting with the people coming in and everything, it was beautiful. I was like, there's not a prick in here. You don't feel like, you know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah. And you feel definitely safe in there. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking cops. Everybody's in there. Yeah. It's great. It's a great thing, man. And it's family. You can feel it in the air.

3:06:00Yeah. And that's what's. There's no hang. There's a hang, but there's no hang. And that hang is perfect there. Yeah. It's perfect. When I green room, Doug, when I took my clothes off the first night, that clothes smells so bad. From all cigarettes. Saga cigarettes acid. Yeah. Fucking got any of that around here. No. You know, I'm not. No. Yes, you do. No. You hear that from me? No. What about what do we have? No smelling of salt for Joey today? You didn't give me none. You didn't do it. We always have smelling salt. That's fucking that that's then fucked me up before. Yeah. 12 million. Holy shit.

3:06:36It's six. But yeah, you took it right after we ate and you're like, you know, no, I was eating. And that's when I swallowed the first one. The restaurant on top of the sushi. So that motherfucker. And then I gave him another one in my pocket because the zins is when you take one, sometimes you take two. Right. It's taken together. Yeah, don't swallow them. That's my advice to you. Why? I already swallowed like six of them. So it's too fucking late. Well, no more. Don't swallow them. No, I won't swallow them. But I got to get some more of these zins, brother. All right. I love you to death, man.

3:07:08You're the best. Family is family. Comedy family is comedy family. Yeah. And that's what these motherfuckers will never, ever understand. The people that don't get it will not get that because they haven't experienced it. But we're lucky. And we have to have that. Do cheer for each other. Yeah. To fucking, you know, I'm so happy for Tony and the garden. I'm so happy for Red Man. You know, it's amazing. And that's what being a comic is about. It's also fucking given love to these people going, you know what? You're doing good, man. Yeah. The girls. I love the girls. You know, Sarah's down there this week.

3:07:40Yeah. She was happy to see me. I was happy to see you know, Kim is coming tonight. So Alan Orr. Yeah. It's been great having him. It's been great having him. I'm not talking about it. Fucking Ron White to see him. Ron Simpson just released his Netflix special. Don L was here. Yeah. It's been amazing. It's been amazing. It's really a good man. Yeah. I love you. I love you. I love you, man. I miss you too. I'll come down here next month. Okay. And then I'll come down here and make a two -hop from him. Okay. Don't worry about what you're talking about. Then by September, I think I could do my own residency of my own 45 minutes.

3:08:12Let's go, Joey. That's my plan. All right. Thank you. Bye everybody. Love you guys.

3:08:30Bye.