#2131 - Brian Simpson

26:06Just now. Just like a couple of days ago. Wow. Look at that. Look at that building, man. I mean, the fact that this even still up is kind of crazy. And bro, what kind of building goes that got in Taiwan?

26:19Wow. Damn. All these buildings, fucking stood to... Yeah, a lot of buildings stood, but a lot of buildings didn't. See, the whole thing with buildings, like if you make a building in California, you have earthquake regulations. You have to make your building sturdy in a way that's supposed to be able to tolerate at least a little bit of earthquake. Yeah, but who's... I mean, but how did they know you didn't until everybody did? I had a problem with the house I had once. And the contractors had cut corners all over the place. We didn't realize until we moved in. And then it became a real problem, real pain in the ass.

26:52And he was like, who the fuck? How can... Somebody on the take? Somebody not catch all this stuff. But it's just they don't. They just don't have the time. The regulators don't have the time. It's not enough money to go and check everybody. And that's why when people say they don't need regulation with construction, I'm like, listen, bitch, you need that shit. Those dudes are shady. Yeah, if you don't... Yeah. Yeah, it's a countdown to building a fallout. I should be real clear. I know some great guys that are contractors. I know some awesome people that build houses and build buildings. And they're great people.

27:23And they're super ethical. But I've also met so many shady ones. I don't know any good ones. They're all... I'm... No, I'm not. I think it's like three out of ten or shady. That's what I think. At least somewhat shady. And it's just fucking. It's a hard world to navigate if you don't know somebody. You know, if you know a guy and you can tell you, I got a fucking great contract. He's an awesome guy. You'll love him. And you're like, whoo. Okay. Now I'm in business with someone I really like to see. I like that. Yeah. I mean, well, it's a business where the only way for you to make more money is to fuck over your customer.

27:58To make more money than you're supposed to. Right. Like after you've already agreed on the money, the only other way for you to make more money, like you're not getting tipped at them. I know. It's almost like there's a fine line between someone who charges too much, but they do an amazing job. I'd rather deal with that person. I'd rather deal with that person as well. Yeah. I wanted someone to be... I wanted them to be compensated for their work and I wanted them to feel proud of what they do. You know, I have a friend who's a carpenter and, you know, he'll talk about buildings. He'll show me pictures of shit.

28:27It's like, this is a beautiful house that this guy created and it's like for him, it's like a bit that killed. Right. Yeah, it's like a bit. It's like, we were this house we made for this guy and he's showing me the pictures. I'm like, man, that's incredible. You know what the problem is is when you're... Especially when you talk about hiring people to build a house for you, they know how much money you work on. So they know they can squeeze you here, squeeze you there, you know? Yeah, they definitely... In some cases, they do. They know what they can get away with and what they can. Oh yeah, it's the rich...

28:58When people think you rich, they always charge extra and... Some people do, but some people don't. And some people don't, you really appreciate. Some people give you free stuff. Yeah, but there are definitely people that try to take advantage of you and it's kind of gross. It's like, come on, man. Yeah, but I think people don't know better. They've got to know better. There's a weird... That's a weird... If you're charging someone more because you think the person is more successful, you're doing this weird thing like they owe you more. Like they don't care. Like this is like, come on, we're just supposed to be people.

29:29Like do you have a charge for your goods and services? Oh yeah, that's like, you know what it is? That's like people that think you owe them your privacy. Well, they... Yeah, they don't run until your family at Disneyland. Right. They man, I don't mean to interrupt, but you interrupt them. Yeah, I win my kids. I get how people just think this is their one chance to say hi. That's what it is. That's what it is. Like, Brian Thompson said, oh shit, it's their one chance. And I get it. It's just like, sometimes you can't do it. But it's like when you see... It's almost like when you see Indiana Jones sitting there with the bag trying to stop it out real quick.

30:00Yeah. You can just leave it there. Indiana. Get the fuck out of there. Yeah, but I get it. You're a professor. It's a lot of pressure of like, but this is my last chance to fucking... Yeah. Fuck those rules. Yeah, I get that. But, you know, surprised it. You pay. Price the price the same? Yeah, it's weird life. It's a price you pay. It's a great life, though. It's, well, listen, we are the luckiest people alive. We get to do what we love to do. I'm fun. We get to hang out with each other. I laugh so much in the mothership green room. It really is. Like, it's the place I laugh the most. Me too.

30:38Me too. Yeah, it's crazy. Especially after sets, you know? Yeah, before sets. Between shows, between the legroom. Yeah, yeah. It's the best time. Yeah, because we're primed. We've already gotten offstage. Especially if Tony's had a good set. Yeah. He gets the ball rolling. Yeah, he's not upset at anybody. Can you fucking believe this? He is a firebrand. Let me tell you. Bro, him and Lucas are endless. When him and Lucas start roasting each other, it's endless. It's endless. They never run out of shit to talk about. I thought they... They would look at us as proven to me that there's... There's literally infinite ways to call someone gay.

31:21I don't think he's ever going to run. I don't think he's ever going to get to the last one. He just finds different references. Dive... You know, different references. Yeah, it's just the two of them just laughing and going at each other. I swear to God, when I'm a guest on Kill Tony and David and Tony are roasting each other, it's harder than I ever laugh. Anything. Because it's in the moment. And I know they're slinging. They're shooting from the hip. They're just using their brain, you know, and killing each other. Sometimes we get a little private one in the brain. Yes, we get those all the time.

31:55We got that last time. But it's just the reaction. This episode is brought to you by Buffalo Trace Distillery. Actually, have some Buffalo Trace cigars here. They just sent me. One of the world's most award -winning distilleries that's been making whiskey the same way for more than 200 years. Made as a tribute to the rugged, free spirited pioneers who blaze their own trail to new frontiers, it embodies the perfectly untamed spirit of independence. It defines what an award -winning bourbon should be. Age nearly twice as long as competitors in new, charred, white oak barrels and bottled at 90 proof, Buffalo Trace is the perfect bourbon to be enjoyed in any way, anywhere.

32:44And the taste, it's damn good. It's bold and sophisticated yet incredibly smooth, finishing long and deep. It's authentically American, representing uncompromising quality for the rugged, the powerful and the passionate. Tap the banner to learn more or visit buffalotracedustillery .com. That's buffalotracedustillery .com. Distilled, aged and bottled by Buffalo Tracedustillery, 90 proof, Franklin County, Kentucky, Buffalo Trace, American, family -owned, independent and perfectly untamed. It's so fun, man. Fuck. We're so lucky to kill Tony's here too. You know, dude, that show is so important. It's so important just to let people know, like it's just about being funny.

33:37I know there's all this other stuff that gets wrapped up into it, because you're trying to establish your identity and you're trying to let people know how you feel about things and you want to make sure everybody knows you're on the right side, but really what you should be doing is just doing comedy. Do comedy. And if you figure out a way to make your points hilarious, great. Yeah, make all the points in the world. But they gotta be funny. And when you do kill Tony, you have one minute. You got one minute. And it sort of establishes an ideal in these young comics minds that, hey, it's really just about making these people laugh.

34:13And if I can get good enough, where I can make my ideas funny, and I can make these people laugh with ideas. That's like what you do. That's like black belt shit. Well, it kills me that. Because the amount of balls it takes for, the amount of people that go on kill Tony and it's the first time doing comedy ever, I might put that. So head of a way to do your first open mic is in front of millions of people. Yeah, that's a crazy way to do an open mic. It doesn't make any sense. But if you can do it, wow, what a feeling that must be. And we've seen people do it. We've seen people change their lives.

34:47Yeah, if you nail it. But William Montgomery is killing it on the road right now. He's killing it. He's selling out, he's doing a whole hour. We mean, we saw him. We saw him when, you know, Hans is killing it. We saw William when he had to have notes on stage. And we kept telling him, you can't have notes on stage. You can't hold your notes and read them. And some people say, no, that's a part of his act. They go, it's holding him back. Because on Kill Tony, he doesn't have the notes. He comes out and he stares the audience down and he's dangerous and he's weird. I'm like, that's you when you're at your best.

35:20He said, I'm worried I'm gonna forget my jokes. You're not gonna forget your jokes. You do them every night. You're a professional comedian. This is part of the thing you have to learn. Like you can't race in Le Mans with training wheels on. You can't. Yeah, William's been on a fucking tear lately. He's killing it. Yeah. You know, when the Black Keys came into town, they're huge William Montgomery fans. And that's was so crazy. So he got a shot out of the post -fight interview. Yes, he does the boy. Yeah, then the Black Keys are huge William fans. Yeah, he did our show that night specifically because they requested him.

35:59Yeah, the show is full. So I was like, yeah, let's go. Yeah, yeah. They need to see this. Everybody loves that more from them. He's awesome. He's awesome and he's so unique. There's only one William Montgomery. That's a unique dude. He's so busy, I never really see him. Every time he hugs me, I'm worried he's gonna stab me. He gives you the weirdest hugs. There are hugs like he's thinking about stabbing you. Yeah, yeah, I think he's like, he's not like, he don't have like medium twitch muscle fibers. I think he's missing. Cause it's so they can't hug, they can either, they either can do it as gentle as possible or crush or force like right.

36:34He's got like, he changed. Maybe he's primitive. Yeah, maybe he doesn't have the ability to give you like a nice, warm up. He's just embracing hug. It's either smash or gently touch. He hugs you like he about to suplex you. Yeah, like you're, we're gonna scuffle. But he does it to everybody. Good, yeah, good fun. Yeah, and then some of the, some of the other newer, like I think all, I think all the door guys are funny. Pretty much. I haven't seen miles in a while, but I keep hearing he's killing you. Miles, miles is on a whole other tear, man. Cause he's, he's one of those people that's like, he's different.

37:07Hmm. He's real different. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, so is Casey rocket? Well, that's, yeah, Casey's figuring it out too. Like he's got a, he's got a thing where I was like, I don't know if he can do that for a long time. And that I think he can. He's figuring that out. I think he also can do different things in between doing that. He can go anyway he wants. Like he's doing this one way now where's like hyper energetic, but that doesn't mean that's how he has to do it. He's funny. He's got so much energy. Yeah, he's funny. He can do anything. He can figure it out as he does it, but that's the most important part of this developmental phase that he's in.

37:40He's like, he's killing, but he's like, working, I'm so learning how to do it. I purposely going out of my way to never write a joke where I needed to do a backflip. Nah. You know what I mean? And it's like both, he's got so much energy in the act. I said this to Shane Gillis last night while you were on stage. I go, there's no one in the world who kills more effortlessly than Brian Simpson. Oh wow. Because you have a casual killing. You're casually killing. Oh yeah. You don't get hyped up. And when it actually, it's interesting in your style because it actually puts more weight on any criticism you put on something.

38:19Oh yeah. This is my first 10 years in comedy. I wasn't sleeping. He tired all the time. So I was just tired all the time. And I just learned, that's just how I've learned to do it. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. Yeah, I didn't get good sleep for years. I finally got the CPAP machine like five years ago. I couldn't believe it. Yeah, big difference. Oh man, it's huge. It looks so huge. It changed Joey. Some people have him and they're like, yeah, but I don't use him. How do you not use him? I tried it once. I didn't like it. But I have a mouthpiece that I sleep with. How does that work? It presses my tongue down.

38:56So the mouthpiece is fit to my lower teeth and is a tongue depressor and it keeps my airway open. Oh yeah, I see. I try to do to have big necks, like football players, almost all those dudes have sleep out in here. It's a big neck thing. And it runs in my family, the big neck. You have a big neck. And look at all this tissue. And if you have a big tongue, I have a pretty fat tongue and this neck and the hole is not as big as it probably would be if I had a skinny neck. Oh, I see what you're saying here. Like your neck is tissue. This is all fucking stuff. I build that up with exercises. Does it work though?

39:33The mouthpiece? It keeps my airway open. I sleep great with it. But if I don't have it, man, I snore, it's horrible. I'm pretty sure I tried to get one of those, but then they milled me a kit that I had to do other stuff. Yeah, you have to form it to your teeth. You lost me. Step two. Like I can't undo step two. You can go to a dentist though and they'll do it. Oh, okay. I think I need to do it. I'll set you up. I got a dentist and it does it for me. I had to do it with my audiologist for my ear, in ear monitors. Mm -hmm. Yeah, I didn't know that you could do shit like that. Yeah, the in ear monitors were the form it to your ear.

40:08Oh, man, that's one of the best choices I have. Yeah. Long time. I have that for the UFC. So when I'm at the UFC, they made me one. So when I put it on, it's mine. It fits right in my ear. Oh, perfect. There's nothing better than it. Nothing goes better than it. Bro, that is the worst thing about cauliflower ear. Those dudes are fucked. Oh. When you get crazy cauliflower ear, like I was talking to this, one of our guys at the security guys at the club, they're all MMA guys, jujitsu guys. And one of them has these fucked up ears. And I'm like, but you can't hear good, right? He's like, it's not as good.

40:41It's definitely not as good. Like that's big. Can he get him drained? His are gone. His are hard. They become calcified. So what happens is the blood pulls up. Your ear gets broken, right? And the tissue separates and blood fills it. And that blood over time will become calcified. So it literally becomes rock. It feels like rock. I have little bits of it. But when I trained, most of the time when I trained, I wore ear guards, like wrestling ear guards. Just because I didn't want to fuck my ears up. Because if you just go like this, and you talk like this normal, you hear things. But if you go like this and talk like that, you're missing something.

41:19You're missing some sound. And you don't realize you're missing it until you let your ear go. You're, oh, now here at all. Well, you're giving that. That's you forever. Forever. Now you have rocks on the outside of your ears. So all this design that God created to let us hear. So brilliantly, where it captures sounds and rolls them around and goes inside your ear. All that's gone. That's not allowed to win, though. Now you get rocks. Oh, that's one of those new earphones that goes outside the ear. We're in new, but if anyone's listening and has this problem, this is called a jaw induction headphone.

41:57So it creates sound frequencies that bounce off the bones inside your head. And so it works even if you have fucked up ears? Yeah, because it's not going through the ear. And is that for any sound or is that for like listening to music and shit? It's good for listening to music, but like technically it will emit sound. So like if you're next to this person, you'll be able to hear it too. But not perfectly, but it's made for the person that's wearing it. You know what's really incredible, though? Have you, do you know what game ears are? You know what, like tactical headphones where you can listen to people talk, but it has like, Oh, that's a full technology in there that stops the sound from being louder than a certain volume.

42:37Right. So when someone's shooting a gun, it's never that loud. Right, right. You know those? Yeah. You can hear so much better with those things. Because they also, so you create a gate, a frequency gate where it's like anything below that frequency, it brings it up anything above it, it brings it down. So people put these on when they go hunting and they turn them on and you can hear shit like multiple times more than you would be able to hear normally. So you could hear footsteps. So like if you're in a tree stand, you're just sitting up there with your rifle and a tree stand, you're listening around constantly.

43:08You ever do that? You ever tree stand, huh? Uh -oh, no. It's a mind fuck. I was wearing those when I was working a 50 decibels of hearing enhancement. It's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, I've used them before. It's crazy. I wore those on the rifle. Not the, not the, but they were like over here. The other kind, yeah. But it was like, you can hear people, you walk away from people and they go, fuck you, fuck them. Yeah, you hear all of it. Well, you have to, I learned that you have to act like you, you have to be very selective about what you react to because people don't need to know that you can hear them.

43:39Right. You know, right. And if you give it away, yeah, that's a problem. The cat's out the back. Yeah, you gotta get it. Yeah. It taught me patience. I'm like, oh, that wasn't for me to hear. That was just him getting his frustration, you know? Yeah. I don't need to react. Because he thinks I'm 50 feet away. Right. So I was like, what? I don't need to react to that. Yeah, fuck him. I rather, I rather wait until somebody goes, I'm about to shoot just by the fuck. Right. Then, now you know. Yeah, then the secret's out. If you have those headphones on, man, it's really bizarre because you can hear things that you can't normally hear.

44:12It feels like superhero. Yeah, but you can also shoot guns and it doesn't hurt your ears. It's weird. Yeah. Amazing. Amazing that somebody figured that out. But anyway, man, if you get bad ears, like your ears get calcified, you're definitely, it's gonna change what things sound like. It's a price to pay to be dangerous. Yeah, I guess. You know, I mean, you can wear ear cards. I just didn't understand. Yeah, they suck. I hate them. They cut your chin. They're fucking, they irritate your head. But to me, it was like, I had these nice ones that were vinyl and they were just designed for Jiu -Jitsu.

44:46So they were flat to your head. Oh, okay. And they were really comfortable. So I don't want that as do it. It's the same as I was pushing, moving, pushing, moving. Guys like cauliflower ear too. Let's people know. Like I said, I'd look tougher if I had cauliflower ears. Yeah, but I don't know if that's worth it. It's not worth it. It wasn't worth it to me. But I'm also not a professional. You know what I'm saying? If you're a professional and your ear gets fucked up, you're back in training the next day. There's no, oh, I gotta get this drain and take six months off and let it heal. Shut the fuck up.

45:22Shut the fuck up and get back in there, dude. You're a professional fighter. I'm just a comedian. So for me, it's like, I gotta mitigate what gets fucked up. You know, people love those things though. It's like a badge of courage. They walk around with a cauliflower ear and then like everybody knows, I know how to fuck people up. Damn. So then you know what that means. It's definitely people getting the fake cauliflower and they get ear injection so they can look for it. Well, all you have to do is damage your ear. You could do it pretty easily. Especially with some people. It's real different.

45:57You know, some people don't get cauliflower ear. They're crazy. They don't even train with ear guards. Don't mess with me. In some people, they'll break their ears and they'll fucking, they'll do things to their ears on purpose. So they can properly get it? Yeah, they'll take a jujitsu belt and they'll just fucking smash their ear and they're trying to give them self -c cauliflower ear. People have definitely done that. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. I've also met guys who are white belts who just started who got cauliflower ear and they never did anything about it. They got this big lump on their ear.

46:27I don't know, and they're terrible. And then there's people that do it for decades and don't get anything. Yeah, but it's rare. It's pretty rare. Or you just like really elite at defense. There's some guys that are so good at defense. You just never really catch their head. But usually you would think that you would catch their head early on in their career before they figured out how to be really good defensively and technically. But there's certain guys like a good luck getting the whole of Marcello Garcia's neck. Unless you're a lot bigger than I'm like, Robert Drysdale, someone like that, a Taptum.

46:56And you know, that guy was a wizard. Like when you're that fat, you ever see Marcello Garcia? Okay, I want to show you this one time where I saw him live in Brazil in 2003 where Eddie was competing for, it was at the Abu Dhabi World Championships. And this is the year that Marcello Garcia burst onto the scene. Like people didn't know who he was. Is this the same year where Eddie, he tried and gold -hoiler. Yeah, so get Marcello Garcia versus, oh God, who was that? What's that? You have it? Okay, no, no, no, that's just him, they're just training. Shaolin, Shaolin, Hibero. Marcello Garcia, Shaolin.

47:38So this dude Shaolin, who's Hibero, R -I -B -E -R -O. Shaolin is a legendary Jiu -Jitsu guy. Like super high level black belt. So for him to do this is Shaolin is so insane. You gotta see this move. He just spun, took his back and strangled him unconscious. And this is like instantly in the beginning of the match. This match happened, it's like 30 seconds and he puts him to sleep. Watch that again, because that scramble is, he does an arm drag. That was smooth. Go to the, from the beginning. You just go from the beginning, because it's so quick anyway. So he does an arm drag. Marcello Garcia is in the, of Rashguard.

48:21He does an arm drag on his right arm. Look at this, watch how he turns, turns, turns, currents keep going, turns, keeps rolling, keeps rolling, gets the back, gets the hooks in, super strong legs. Now he's got the hook in and now he's securing the neck and he's gonna hang on and he's gonna just fucking crush him to sleep. And he's asleep right there. Dude, that is so insane. Yeah. That is so insane. That is one of the most legendary finishing sequences in all of Jiu Jitsu history, because that was like the moment Marcello Garcia, who's like one of the greatest of all time, burst onto the scene.

48:59And he just locked in. Yeah, so that guy, even he has cauliflower here. Oh, he's good to see his, he's good to see his. Yeah, you can't, it seems like unavoidable. Yeah, some guys don't get it. It's weird. And some guys are just real big guys. Some real big guys never get caught, you know? Real strong guys. Well, that's why like every time I see my, whenever I see somebody with cauliflower is like, I know two things. I know one, they can probably fight almost definitely. And two, they have some kind of old nagging injury that they hope and I don't discover. You know what I mean? Like all the most dangerous dudes like, if anyone hits me in my fucking left knee, right?

49:40They will foe me to fuck up. So I'm, that's why I'm scared. That's why I don't fuck with those people. Like, oh, don't fuck with them because they gonna fight, they gonna give you everything they got. So, cause they don't want you, they don't want the fight to go so long that you find that injury. Yeah, also like don't just be fucking what people think it's a fair fight. People stab people, they shoot people, just don't do it. Just don't do it, man. If you want to prove yourself, go to a gym, right? Go to a gym, learn how to fight. And then you will lose all of your desire to do that in a bar, especially after 30.

50:11Cause I don't give a fuck of your 20, don't do it. Don't fucking do it, man. It's how people die. It's how people get locked up in jail for the rest of their lives. 20 -somethings though, they can't, you can't tell. Yeah, you can. I listened, yeah, I listened. I was terrified of fights when I was in my 20s. And I knew how to fight. I didn't want to go anywhere. Oh, yeah, but you grew up fighting. Yeah, but I mean, when I would go out to bars. Right, right. Like if I was out to bars, my friends and shit would break loose. I'm like, out, exit please. Yeah, I'm not fighting anybody. I'm getting the fuck out of here.

50:41Yeah. I knew that early, early on. Because I knew guys growing up in Boston, going to high school in Newton, which is outside of Boston, I spent most of my time in Boston, cause that's where I did Taikwondo. I met some hard fucking dudes, some hard, hard men. One of the guys that I met was a fucking hitman for Whitey Bulger. He was the guy I was training. I was teaching him Taikwondo and he was a hitman. Like well known that he was in the Irish mob, well known. And he was taken Taikwondo classes. I was around people that like, so in my mind, any man that you just have some confrontation with, even if you beat his ass, that's not the end of it.

51:26He's gonna come find you. This idea that you could just do something to someone and there's no consequences ever. What, they could be a year from now, two years from now, five years from now. You're gonna be looking over the shoulder for the rest of your life? What are you fucking stupid? Just get away. Don't fight with people, don't argue with people. Yes, mom, don't piss people off. We'd all be better off if people didn't have this desire to control themselves and that's what you get rid of when you go to the gym. When you learn Jiu -Jitsu, when you learn a martial art, and you don't have this desire to test yourself all the time cause you're constantly being tested.

52:02When you go out, you just wanna have fun and chill. Most of the fighters I've met, I've met a lot of fighters since I've been to the T &L. Most of them are pretty chill. Super chill. You say almost, I think all the security people at Mother's Super chill, are all Jiu -Jitsu guys. And you wouldn't even know, I know one of the guys was some kind of champion. And you would never know it, they so humble and respectful. What's cause they get challenged all the time, they don't wanna do it in real life. The real challenge is challenged against skilled people. When you're doing that all the time, when you're rolling with black belts, and you're fighting off triangles, and triangle turns into an arm bar, and you're like barely escaping, and then you get side control, you're battling all day long.

52:52You're battling in your head after the class. You're going, oh, how did he catch me? How did I do that? Why did I do that? My left foot, fuck! And you're trying to figure out what you did wrong, and what you did right. You don't wanna get enough fight in a bar. You wanna go have fun. If you would go to a bar with a bunch of Jiu -Jitsu people, they're all laughing, they wanna have a good time. They say thank you, the waitress comes over, they're polite. They're nice people. They get it all out, man. You gotta get it all out. And if you wanna get it all out at a bar, man, you're gonna get killed.

53:22There's a confidence that comes from knowing exactly where you stand. Where it's like, oh, I know that I do can beat my ass. Like I know for sure. Cause he's done it every day for the last six. You know what I mean? And just knowing you don't go out with this insecurity about you. Right. I think most of them. Most of them. Yeah. I mean, there's a wild dudes that get involved in cage fighting. But overall, I feel they are exceptional human beings. And I know that sounds crazy for someone who thinks it's barbaric. But you have to understand that the character development involved in becoming a guy like a Dustin Porje.

53:59You wanna be that good. The fucking fire you have to go through to be at a world class level for as long as that guy's been doing it. And be that good right now. You know what, man, that's an exceptional human being. Exceptional. There's not a lot of those out there. And when you meet those guys, you're out with those guys. They're the fucking nicest guys. They're cool, they're calm. They have their shit together. They're even shone -stricken. And everybody thinks it's crazy. And he says a bunch of wild shit. Sean is a great guy. He's a nice guy. He's a real smart dude who had a fucked up childhood.

54:38And he's an excellent professional fighter. And he's a nice guy. If you're nice to him, he's a nice guy. He's fun. He's fun. But, you know, in the street, if you find that guy and you talk shit to him for no reason, he's gonna put you in the hospital. He's gonna put you in the hospital. And you can't do a goddamn thing about it. You don't even have a chance. You have nothing. You have zero chance. This idea, oh, fuck it. These guys can't fight. I don't know how to fight. Shut your mouth. You have no idea what you're talking about. He shouldn't be out talking shit to people from our area. They always did it.

55:13They used to do it to chuckle a doubt. People would talk shit to it. He used to do it to Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson, people would talk shit to. There's certain people that are just crazy, man. Well, speaking of Mike Tyson, these people that think that he don't stand a chance against Jake Butler, they shouldn't even, like he's two -old. I think you're crazy. Well, they're definitely uninformed. Yeah. Because here's the thing, he is 57 years old. He will be 58 when they fight. He has had a long fighting career. He has been knocked out by massive men, like Lennox Lewis, and a vendor Holyfield. You know, he's had a lot of blows.

55:52And it's a long, you know, long past the time where most people ever fight. You know, the only person that ever fought competitively after age 50 is Bernard Hopkins, and Archie Moore. Archie Moore did it back. No, the former was 47. Formerly was in his 50s, I believe, when he had his last fight. Was he? He won the title. He's a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Formerly was the once -in -mice in glasses and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Foreman captured the heavyweight title at the oldest age, which was 46 when he fought Michael Moore. He hit him with this perfect right hand. It was crazy.

56:31That's okay. That's that bodega cat. That's Mark Norman stuff. We got some good shit, though. So how old was he? 48. So his last fight when he fought Shannon Briggs, Shannon the Canon, shout out to Shannon. Let's go, champ. So he beat Lou Savarees. He was 48 years old. What a crazy. Crazy. Crazy. And he knocked out Michael Moore, he was 45. So he was the oldest man ever to win the heavyweight title at age 45. And you gotta realize, like, that's a real 45. That's not like a 45 today. The 45 today is 45 with testosterone replacement and he'll grow a hormone and peptide. What that's what I'm saying, this might tighten, yeah, he's 57, but he got access to...

57:18Everything. And he's also doing this very unique kind of training with electrical muscular stimulation that I've talked to some people that do that. And it has massive benefits of rehabilitating injuries. And it also, for a lot of people, gives them significant gains when they use it as opposed to just using weight lifting. I don't know too much about the science behind it. When Jamie comes back, we'll have him look it up, but you slap electrodes onto yourself. They put these pads on you and it's hooked up to a machine. And while the electricity is going into your muscles, you're doing exercises.

57:55So while you're getting jolted, you're doing squats and you're doing dead lifts. You're doing all this shit while you're connected to this thing that's stimulating your muscles. But isn't that... Cause my main concern would be, I guess in my head, what if the electricity, the timing's off and it goes to contract your muscle at a time when you're trying to... I think it's constantly contracted. And I think you're fighting through that. I don't know, I haven't done it. I'm talking about my ass. What is that thing that Mike Tyson does where he gets connected to like an electrical muscular stimulation machine?

58:34I've seen it in training footage. And I know from talking to the guy that was telling me about cheers, my brother. Congratulations, thanks for showing. Thank you. It's awesome. I'm so happy to see you killing it. Oh, good bourbon. Not bad. This is, I think this is the jack car stuff. Yeah, that's not bad. No, this is bow cones, Texas, pot still bourbon. That's legit. Mm -hmm. Yeah, this is real legit. That's legit, yeah. That's good stuff. What are we just talking about? George Foreman and Mike Tyson. Yeah. Yeah. So they do this thing where they slap Chuck Zito. They do this thing where they slap these electrodes on him.

59:23Chuck Zito's a giant fight fan. Chuck. Oh, this is now. Yeah. So they put these electrodes on him and they have them perform different exercises. New fit. N -E -U -F -I -T. And so they have this machine, okay, a breakthrough in neuromuscular electrical stimulation devices utilizing direct current. So it's this device that uses an updated form of neuromuscular electrical stimulation to send electrical impulses through the skin to the nerves, resulting in muscle contractions and sensory impulses. The N -M -E -S technology mitigates the action potentials of both peripheral and central nervous system allowing for communication with virtually all parts of the body.

1:00:11The impulses stimulate muscles and other tissues, including contractile and sensory muscle fibers and sensory and motor neurons. The stimulation also leads to increased blood flow in the areas where it's applied. So I know Tyson was doing that before the Roy Jones fight when he was when he was training. I believe he's doing that now too. But that's interesting, right? Because you'd want to do like everything you can with a 57 year old body to get it ready to do that. I don't think people know, you don't lose that much ability. You have to understand who you're talking about. What does change though is your ability to recover, right, and then the amount of damage you can take.

1:00:57Yes. That's what changes, but he can still fucking destroy that guy. The thing about the amount of damage you can take, that's also, that's all in comparison to how much damage you took in your life. Right, there's certain guys that as they get older, it's very disturbing because you see them get touched with a punch and they just go out. You'll see that with like some older MMA fighters. I thought that would check with Bill. Yes. Where was like nobody could knock him out. And then it was like anyone could. In his prime, he was ferocious, dude. He had an iron chin and ferocious power and just this warrior mentality.

1:01:35He was just chasing you down. He was hunting you inside that cage. Everybody. Then he went in an iron chin, eventually they started in Makta because the reason you know they have an iron chin is because you've seen them take some. There was this dude in boxing. His name was Doug DeWitt. And Doug DeWitt was not the best fighter in the world, but he had the best chin of all time. Dude's with T off on Doug DeWitt, and it was like nothing happened. He was crazy. He was known for his ability to take a punch. And then one day it just went away. One day it went away. And one day he just got dropped and knocked out and then he just couldn't take shots anymore.

1:02:13It just gave out. It just gave out like a bad suspension. Like yeah, you got it. So you can find Doug DeWitt highlights. This was born with 50 knockouts in you. This dude had a thousand knockouts in him. Like you couldn't knock him out. He was getting hit clean in the face by murderers. And you couldn't stop him. It was weird. And he was known for that. Like if a guy was gonna fight Doug DeWitt, you know, he knew he was a good fighter, but you knew that the thing about him is he had the craziest chin of all time. He was known for it. I don't think that's Doug DeWitt. That's Nigel Ben. Is that Doug DeWitt?

1:02:53No, that's not Doug DeWitt, dude. It's a different guy. Different guy. There you go. It's just a real fighter. Oh, no, no, yeah. Because these are all, this is Nigel Ben, who was a real destroyer man. He was a fucking murderous, murderous puncher. Thomas Hernd versus Doug DeWitt. That's kind of the same thing that just happened. I don't. Let me see. So Thomas Hernds, one of the greatest knockout artists of all time. Yeah, and that's how I got Doug DeWitt. So he was 25, so this one Doug DeWitt still had an iron chin. Should not be fighting Thomas Hernds. Like, let me set this up. This is a terrible matchup.

1:03:34Scoot you ahead a little bit. Is this, is this one when he finally gets knocked out? I don't know. But Doug DeWitt was a very solid fighter, but Tommy Hernds is just next level. Tommy Hernds has the most ridiculous back. Look at that back. That's where that power comes from, dude. Look how wide he is. So when Tommy was 147, I think this was a middleweight fight, which was 160. But you gotta realize, like, Tommy, when he fought Sugar Ray, he was 147. When he fought like Papino Quavis and all those other dudes, dude, he was very light. But he was that tall with that kind of power. So look at that.

1:04:16Tommy Hernds is teeing off on Doug DeWitt. I'm telling you, most people who fought Doug DeWitt were stunned by the amount of power that guy could just absorb. He's a really good fighter, and he wasn't like he was a bad fighter. He just wasn't like World Championship Caliber.

1:04:36Where is he now? Who knows, man? It's not good at the end. No. It's not good at the end. I was reading about this boxer from the 80s who was living in LA. And they would have to almost like put string on him to make sure he didn't travel too far away from the house. He would get lost on his block. He didn't know what was going on. He's just, his brain is just gone. It's just gone. You had a price they pay, man. It's the craziest price. Chance it, greatness. The craziest price, and you never know when you've crossed a line. You never know when you've crossed a line into your brain's not gonna return.

1:05:16You know, in the beginning, you don't even notice a slip. You know, you're just like, I'm just tired from training. You know, you don't even notice. You know, and other people start noticing it. And maybe you have a drink and you can't really form sentences that well, you know, like one drink and all of a sudden you're slurring your words. And everybody's like, what's going on with Mike? Ah, you just had a couple. You had one fucking drink like he's slurring his words. Like something's going on. That's like one of the first things you see. And then it keeps going. The damage doesn't get better over time.

1:05:47It gets worse. And they say that a lot of the brain damage doesn't even like show itself till like years after the actual impact of whatever the fuck happened. Yeah. Do start doing wild shit. They start gambling. Start doing coke. Start going crazy. But then some people are just fine, right? Some people are fine. Yeah, that's weird. It's weird. Some people retire and they had long careers and they could talk fine. They're great. Look at Andre Ward. And you can see like whatever brain cells fully made with his father had left, he was like, I'm gonna make sure it just don't happen to my son. Yeah, it's like, of course he had to have the most defensive fighter of all time.

1:06:28It's like, this is what happens when you get hit. Yeah. Well, I also just like, I'm seeing it, seeing it from his uncle, Uncle Roger. Oh, that's what I mean. Yeah, his uncle. Yeah. Yeah, he sounds drunk all the time. Well, he's dead now. Yeah, he died, unfortunately. Roger made one of those awesome in his prime man. Black Mamba, he was another dude. He was different than Floyd. He was a crazy knockout artist. He was he Roger Fowl? Oh, yeah, yeah. He was a great trainer too. Yeah, he's a very good trainer. Very, very, very good trainer. And he's got that famous quote, most people don't know shit about boxing.

1:07:00Yeah, he's true. He's right. He's 100 % right. I don't. I know like, I barely do. Just the sign. But I know that I do know, I know enough about boxing, where I feel like when I'm watching a good boxing match, what I'm enjoying is not what the average person. Right. Most people just want to see two big dudes in the middle of the ring just no punches. Right. They don't care about the strategy of it. Right. But I like to watch, you know, I like to watch the breakdowns. I do too. The footwork and why his feet are right there. And this one dude made a really good breakdown of how Anthony Joshua caught Francis and Gano.

1:07:36It's really good. Yeah. It's really good because he talks about how Joshua was setting up these reactions by jabbing to the body. And how he's jabbing to the body. And how Francis would dip his left arm and like throw a hook. And then he was like trying to block the shot to the body and dip his arm through a hook. So he timed it right way, fainted the jab to the body. Francis reacted and he hit him with a perfect right hand. And you see in the breakdown how he set it up. And like that is boxing. That's real boxing. That's not just a big guy who can punch. But that's like super sophisticated chess playing in the middle of this high consequence scenario with a giant knockout striker.

1:08:16And people are, and some people are like levels above that. Mm -hmm. You know. Well, that's Usik. Usik is level above Anthony Joshua because he boxed the shit out of Joshua. Two fights in a row and had him in trouble. And the first fight in particular had him in trouble, man. He had Joshua real in. And he was all over him. And Usik is really a cruiserweight. He's not even that big. He's small for a heavyweight. You know, Usik was fighting, I think, at 197. And then he went up to fight heavyweights. So like when he stands next to these guys, he's so much smaller than that. That's why the part of me deep down, I wish boxing had like a UFC type.

1:08:53Right. Like I wish someone could make the top guys fight each other. Well, they can't even do that in MMA. You know, look, Francis is now at the PFL. And you've got other people over at Bellator. And I guess Bellator and the PFL are one thing now. Yeah, but you have to be huge to not do it in the UFC. You know, it's real tough to be famous. The problem is, if you're outside of the UFC, you could be not famous and make more money. That is true. Like this is a factor. You have to think about guys that, you know, kind of didn't do as well as the top guys in the UFC, but they're still elite MMA fighters.

1:09:35Think over the PFL and when that tournament make a million dollars. Yeah. You know, yeah. And then I'm, and then I'm man over there, the middle East man, they throwing money at all manner entertainers and shit over here. Yeah, that one dude from Montreal, Olivier Albaume -Merce, I think he won it twice. I think he won the PFL tournament twice. He would definitely won it once. So he made a million dollars. Is that what I just saw Mighty Mouse in like a no way? No, that's, no, Mighty Mouse in a no way was just a Jiu -Jitsu match. That was just Jiu -Jitsu. Mighty Mouse is wild. He just enters Jiu -Jitsu opens as a 155 pound man for a 250 pound dude in Strangled up.

1:10:15Yeah, and he looked, it looked like it too. It's incredible that size difference. It's incredible. But he competes for one. And one championship is this giant organization in Asia. And they have not just MMA fights, but they have kickboxing fights and grappling fights. Like Gary Tonin is competed over there and grappling the Routolo brothers of the champions over there. Mikey Musumachi, he competes over there and grappling. They have a great app too, by the way. Yeah, so there's that. So there's places you can go. But to be famous in America is the UFC. Everything else is just, unfortunately, it pales in comparison.

1:10:58The UFC is like Q -tips, the NFL, you know, you, NBA is where you go to see professional basketball. If someone else wants to start a new basketball league, good fucking luck. Good luck. The UFC is, it's singular. It's singular. It's just the most prominent business that's run the best. It's got the best machine behind it. It's got the most history behind it. They literally invented the sport in 1993 in America. Not invent the sport, because... But they did put it in a cage, you put rules to it. Actually, I think they had cages in Brazil back then already. But also... They might have had cages in Brazil by then, but a lot of the fights in Brazil in the early days.

1:11:39They'd actually fight in a ring with a net. But what they did was they made it... They packaged it in a way that made it a major sport. Yes. Instead of just like a blood sport, where people like something that was done in back alleys. 100%. They made it so you could put it on TV. And that was the most brilliant move. I mean, they had to bring in the regulators and shit to kind of make that happen, but that's what made it what it is. Well, they also had to spend no fall, clothe money. Oh, fuck, clothe money. I heard Dana saying they didn't make any money. Like, you did the first ones for free? Yeah, I did the first 12, 12 or 13 shows I did for free.

1:12:17Well, Dana became my friend. And I knew there were a hemorrhaging money. And I said, I don't need any money. I go just, just fly us out here. Fly us out here and, you know, get my friends tickets. So it was like me and Eddie Bravo would just fly out to the fight. Because we were flying out to the fights before I worked there. I... He reached out to me because he knew I used to work for the UFC back in the day. Because I started working for the UFC in 1997. That was the post fight commentator before Zufa. Before Zufa. Oh, okay. So it was Zufa, but it was, no, it wasn't Zufa. It was SG. I'm sorry.

1:12:51It's still Zufa, even though Zufa sold to the WM. So we were in these like small little places in the middle of nowhere. And I did in the early days. I saw V -tours debut. I saw Randy Cotour's debut, Dan Henderson's debut. I mean, I was there for like Chuck Lidell's debut. I was there for all these early, early fights. I thought Carl's newt in fight. I saw all these like Allen Joban, of course Allen Joban. He was actually Eddie's gym. But I saw all these like great fighters fight. He wasn't, Allen was like later. I was thinking of... What the fuck was I thinking of? Allen Goez. That's right. Allen Goez was a jujitsu wizard who I got to see fight in the early days of the UFC.

1:13:32Most people don't even remember these guys. Like top level guys back in the day. And to me it was like, I was a kid in a candy store. But I was losing money doing it. I could be at a comedy club on the road. And I was still on news radio. I was busy. And I did it for a while. But it was like, it was too much. It was costing me money. And it was like, I was the experience I had. I was like, this is fun. But they were doing one in Japan. And when they went to do the one in Japan, I'm like, I'm out. I'm not going to Japan. For like a thousand dollars, whatever I got paid. Like, I'm not going to Japan.

1:14:02So I quit and I stay a fan. And then Dana contacts me in like 2001. And says, hey, we're going to have the UFC in Vegas. We got tickets for if you want to come. Like, holy shit. Yeah, I'm going to go. So in Eddie, we flew out to Vegas to watch UFC. And so I did that for like the first one or two. And then they had one on Fox. And he said, would you do me a favor? And I said, what? He said, will you do commentary for the one on Fox? Because it was on Fox Sports net. It was like the best damn sports show period. Do you remember that? They had like a UFC event. So I did that. It was UFC 37 and a half.

1:14:4137 and a half. Yeah, that's what it was called. UFC 37 and a half. So I did that. And that was the beginning. And he goes, dude, please keep doing that. And I was like, okay, what's that? What's in that? Is that the good thing? No, no, no, you want some? That's the, this is those Ron white cigars. It's a little baby cigar. There you go, sorry. But that was my man. But so that was, you know, that was 2002 or something. So when did you hit the point where he was like, hi, I want you to do it permanently. Yeah, I had a sign of contract. I was like, how many UFC's were you in before you were like, I think I'm just going to do this.

1:15:22Well, I mean, it was like, like instead of like 13 in it, I never asked for any money. And I was like, it's all right, man, I'm having a good time. I'm happy that you guys like what I do. I'm excited and I'm happy to be able to promote this sport. That's it. June 22nd, 2002. Who else is the sadger that dude looks out of his depth, you know what I mean? So that dude, that's Jeff Osborne. He was awesome. He also did a hook and shoot who's one of the, one of the earlier MMA promotions that like, Eved words came out of there. Josh Near came out of there. Some real killers came out of those promotions.

1:15:56Like a Midwest fight. There was a bunch of those like early on promotions. There's like small level promotions that a lot of guys came up in. I can't imagine being like, even in like the Chuck LaDale era. Like before that, like before the UFC, what were fighters making? Nothing. Well, Chuck LaDale, when he had his first fights, he was fighting Bear Nuckle in Brazil. He fought Pele. Pele is this legendary member of Shoot the Box. You know, I know I've talked to you about Shoot the Box before. That's Anderson Silva. That's where Showgun came out of, I mean, that's a Huffil Coderra. The guy who holds mitts for Mike Tyson.

1:16:36He's from Shoot the Box. And now he runs Kings MMA. But this is this is, you know, we're like, this is probably like, what year is this? It's has to be like 95? 98. 98. Okay. So this is probably either right before Chuck LaDale fought in the UFC. Somewhere around that range, but he's fighting in Brazil, Bear Nuckle against a dude who's like a legend in Brazil. Like Pele was like, look, Pele took Chuck LaDale down. How about that? This is how dangerous his fucking dude is. Chuck LaDale never gets taken down. Here he is mounted, Bear Nuckle. And this is a crazy ass fight, man. And Chuck eventually gets all of the, look how they have this setup where the ring at the bottom of it has a net in it.

1:17:21Bro, Pele is all over him. But now Chuck sneaks out the back door. And Chuck was like a really good wrestler, but he used his wrestling to stand up. He just wanted to blast people, because he also had a karate background. Now in these fights, you're allowed to headbutt, you're allowed to stomp, you're allowed to do everything. You got Bear Nuckle. So you can even grab Dix. A lot of these, it's grabbed each other in the daily. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gary Goodrich did it to the Pedro. They're my signature move. Bro, he reached into his shorts and grabbed his car. It's crushed his balls. Like, it was crazy what people were doing.

1:17:56Damn, you allowed to squeeze balls. But they were in that promotion. It was like, you could do anything. Which is kind of crazy that nobody just eye -poked the shit out of each other. I think you weren't allowed to bite. Or you just start with the ball squeeze. Look, he just got thrown out of the fucking ring onto the ground. That's why the net is there. It's trying to trap them while they're beating the shit out of the ground. I don't know, man. Some of them just were to the finish. It's not on the inside of the game. Early UFC's were all to the finish. Is it 33 minute video? Yeah, I think a lot of these fights were just battles of attrition and they went on as long as they went on.

1:18:32Brazil, when they were doing Valley Tuto, it was the purest form of MMA. It wasn't the same level that MMA is today, but it was the purest form. Because these guys were bare -knuckle. They would just wear like little fucking speedos and they would do everything. You could kick, you could punch, you could stomp to the finish. You could elbow the back of the head, you get someone's back. You don't even have to sink in a choke. If you get someone's back with a hooks in, Hensel Gracie did that one of his fights. He just got this dude's back and just blasted him with elbows in the head. Your back, your head is so vulnerable.

1:19:07And UFC, you're literally not even allowed to hit the back of the head. It's one area where you're not allowed to strike. That's how dangerous it is. And in the old days, they got your mat and they go right for that spot. Boom, boom, boom. Yeah, that's gonna put you out. Oh, you're getting fucked up. So it was like a pure version of what actually works and what doesn't work. Because if you have no gloves on, punching changes, everything changes. Your ability to block punches changes. So if you go from boxing gloves to MMA gloves, there's a giant difference. But even if you go from MMA gloves to no gloves, there's a difference.

1:19:41Because it feels different on your face. It fucking hurts more. It hurts your hands more. It cuts you up. Everybody gets cut open. It's a much more realistic version of fighting. And that's what they were doing in Brazil. It didn't get, like when they brought it to America, when Hori and Grace, he created the UFC. And brought it to America in 93 when they had their very first event. They had to kind of do some rules. So they had a cage, you know, they had like, you know, but it was all no time limit. Every fight was to the fight was over. See, that's what's crazy to me. Every fight in the UFC, those fights were Hori's Grace.

1:20:17He was arm -barring everybody. And it was no weight. There was no rounds. There was no weights. There was just Hori's weight, 176 pounds. That was his second profile. He had already fought once in the UFC by then. Oh, wow. So UFC 17 in Mobile, Alabama, with a decision over Noi Hernandez. I was there for that. So the next fight, he did that. Bear Knuckle. Wow. Yeah, something I just found said it was a 30 minute. No rounds, no breaks, no gloves. Very few rules. Wow. Headbutts, groin strikes, kicking the knees, the back of the downed opponent, strikes to the back of the head are all allowed. 1998.

1:20:53He was 28 years old, and he weighed 198 pounds. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah, and that was back when it was no glory. It was very little fanfare. Very little fanfare. The UFC's weight limit was 200 back then. There was a 200 pound weight class. Like right around then, they started putting in a weight class. So like when T2RT was a champ, it was like, I believe it was 200. And then they moved it up to 205 later. They changed it. But I think like when Frank Shamrock was a champ, I believe the weight class was 200. And you couldn't be over that? Yeah, that was like, I think there was like a couple of weight classes.

1:21:28I think they started instituting weight classes, and they had like a 55, and then they had like a 70, and then they started sticking them all in there. And then it became, you know, what it is today, which I still think is under weight class. I think they should have several more. I think they should have one higher. No, all throughout the range, I feel like this should be one every 10 pounds. And right now we have these giant gaps that don't necessarily make sense. Like we have a huge gap from 155 to 170. That's 15 pounds. That's a big difference in a human being. Like how much bigger and stronger a person is, and how they can cut down to 170 versus a guy really weighs like 175, and he cuts to 170.

1:22:11It's like a giant difference, you know, it's 205 pound guys that can make that weight cut. I feel like if we add a 75, 85, so 55, 65, 75, 85, 95, 205, 225, heavyweight, that makes sense to me. So you're saying above to 25? Above to 25 should be whatever the fuck you weigh. Because right now it's not. The right now the heavyweight limit, as ridiculous as it is, is 265 pounds. You can't weigh more than 265 pounds in a championship heavyweight fight. But even so we're meant. So the heavyweight division goes from 205 to 265. Exactly. That, that seems crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. When you got guys like Francis, it becomes crazy.

1:22:57Right, because it's a tough game. Touch of death, six foot five, 265 natural. Like Francis gets above 265 when he's not training. But he's not allowed to be. Twenty fights. When he fights he has to lean out. So we, so we saying 10 pounds makes a difference in every other division except the biggest one. Well, in the biggest one they just say, hey, decide what you are. But you a light heavyweight or you a heavyweight. But isn't there a problem note that there's not enough Francis Sassmo fuckers running around? Right. And if they are, they're going to football. Right. Yeah. If you want to get like an elite American athlete that thinks he's going to have a future making millions of dollars and you're a six foot five kid and you're huge.

1:23:39You don't get an MMA and a lot of those guys they would have a hard time making 265. How about that? Yeah, I'm brought with what what Francis and Gano even be in another sport. Is this kid that would probably whatever the fuck he wants. Play basketball right now for NC State. Is he Cameron? No, he's just really good basketball player. He's six nine two seventy five and they're already like NFL scouts are trying to get him to play it. Wow. Instead of basketball. Yeah. Oh, you're a damn fool. You bet not. Yeah. Basketball you don't get brain damage. You don't get brain damage and the contracts are fully guaranteed.

1:24:11So all your money's guaranteed if you get hurt all that. Oh, that's better. The NFL will never do that. Yeah, they can't. No, if you, if I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm crazy. Yeah, if it's my kid and he, and he gets the tools between the NFL and any other major sports, I'm taking the other 100%. All day. For sure. Yeah, all day. Those basketballs. The baseball players. They make it tons of money. All guaranteed. Yeah. So you, if you hear a football player got a $50 million contract, it's not $50 million. It's, you know, it's 10 million guarantee with bonuses of this and, you know, shit like that.

1:24:47But if you hear that a baseball player got a, like that, that Japanese dude, did he just get a half a billion dollars? He's getting all that money every single penny. He deferred it just like Bobby Benia did, which is a pretty fun story. So the Japanese dude, is that the dude who has the gambling problem? Yeah, maybe. Is that a, no, you think somebody else is that that guy? Yeah, it's Joey O 'Connor. Yeah, it's Joey O 'Connor. So that dude gambles. Yeah, we're, what's the story? They said his interpreter took a, or he says interpreter gambles took a 20 from. Okay, let me ask you this. Do you think that the situation with someone like that who comes from another country?

1:25:25Do you think that maybe organized crime comes with him a little bit? I've heard that, but also there's a lot of little bit, little bit of luck. Yakuza action. I mean, that's definitely taste. That's definitely feasible, just because his, his family's back there. Yeah. So it's like, if I want to explain to you somehow. Also, he might have a, you know, meaningful relationship with those people. But also the half a billion dollars is enough to, well, you, you are embossed at that point. You just have somebody wiped out. You can flip it on them, you know? I don't know. I don't know if I'm, if I'm worth half a billion dollars, anybody telling me what the fuck I'm doing.

1:25:58Right. No way, because you can get to, because you at that point now where you have power, like that's kind of money that nobody's ex, no mob, no mafia boss is exploiting you when you're a billionaire. We just, I have it yet, tactically. Yeah, but that don't matter because, because, yeah, but he might have a relationship with that. You know what I'm saying? I mean, I'm not saying he does, but I'm saying that in certain situations, like if you get in bed with organized crime and they help you in your career, like there was always insinuations that Frank Sinatra was involved in the mob, for instance.

1:26:28Oh, right, right. You know, and you would imagine that like Frank Sinatra would probably be a terrible guy to piss off, because he probably can contact some people and you probably can disappear. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. Right. So a guy like that, if you want to leave the connection with the mob, I bet that's pretty dicey. Yeah, I bet that's real dicey. So you just stay with them. But what would the mob do for a baseball player? I don't know. I don't know, but I would imagine, I mean, what are we talking about the Yakuza? I think most really sophisticated organized crime companies, you call them a company.

1:27:09I think they probably have strategies to maximize their income in all sorts of ways. Yeah. And they probably offer protection so that you don't have to worry about people fuck with you. And in return, you give them a certain amount of money per month. Does it mean that that's the cost of doing business where he lived? And I'm like, oh, no, I'm leaving now. It's like, how did Japanese mob going to protect you in America? You don't think they can do things over here? I mean, they probably could do a couple things, but they don't have like a... If you're going to have someone who walked, that would be the coolest guy to have someone walk to you.

1:27:42But Japanese assassin. Right. But to be like, I'm going to protect you full time all over America. I don't know. That's possible. Yeah. I don't know. No. But half a billion dollars for playing a game. So what was the problem? They said that he was gambling on something he should have gambled on? Is that what it is? Well, that's a multi -layered problem because first of all, he has an interpreter with him. I like, at all times, I think. So how much into his financial life, does that guy have ability to get into do with things? And what was the accusation? I'm trying to find out the extra... I know that I only know about it because Andrew Schultz had a joke.

1:28:24Where's talking about him gambling? I don't understand why he's not allowed to gamble. As long as he betting on himself to win... It's a hard rule to know. Right. Why you can't bet on yourself? Most sports, actually. That's a new rule at the UFC. What? You can't gamble. No one from the organization can gamble on the fights. But what I'm saying is, and that makes perfect sense. Yeah. But I'm saying, the fighters should be able to gamble so long as they betting on themselves to win. Right. I think so. You know? As long as they bet on themselves to win. A football player got in trouble for that recently.

1:29:03He was actually... He gambled on his team to win in a game that he wasn't playing in because he was hurt. And he got in trouble. I thought it was more than 4 .5 million. I didn't want to state it without it. His claim was his interpreter took 4 .5 million dollars to pay off gambling debts from an illegal bookie. Oh. That's under federal investigation. So they were saying that it was his money. And he was saying, no, my former interpreter, he stole that money and he paid off his gambling debts. Right. That might be true. Some people don't believe the story. They think that he was just gambling and blaming it on this guy.

1:29:38This is Otani who said he was unaware of the payments and never bet on sports with the bookie. Yeah, but even if that's true, it's like, okay, well, you're the fall guy. That was your job for the beginning. It's to go gamble for me so that it didn't get connected to me. Yeah, it's a little fishy. It does sound a little convenient. Well, convenient. You didn't notice 4 .5 million, messing. Right. Until he got caught. So you fired him and didn't, but didn't... You fired him but didn't say nothing about him gambling then. Until he got caught. Yeah. But it's like, that's what I took that fall. You know, he didn't do anything because they didn't take any of his money or penitulism in any way.

1:30:21Did they? Well, if they can't definitively tie him to that. I don't know what they can do. I don't know how that works. If the guy, they could actually get the guy and they could get the guy to admit that he used the money and he embezzled the money. I don't know what the story is. It sounds like, oh, I don't believe him, but it could be true. We're just talking shit. But how is baseball having that much money? People love it. I don't know anyone that watches baseball. Not as they had number one sport. Some people love it. They love it. They love baseball. They live for it. They live for it. Ari loves it.

1:30:55He loves going to the games. Loves it. Yeah, $10 billion in revenue in 2020. 30 billion? Yeah. I have huge TV deal contracts because it's on all summer when there's another sports on. And there's 32 teams in games last three hours, you know? It's also casual sport watching. Sports betting. So you watch baseball where you're hanging out with your buddies. Yeah, you don't have to pay attention. And you can talk about all kinds of other shit. You can bullshit while the game's going on. You're not locked until the guy's throwing the pitch. There's a lot of downtime. You're talking shit. You know what Debbie told me?

1:31:30Tell me if this is ridiculous. And you start talking and then you drink in. You want another hot dog? Fuck yeah. If you're watching Anderson Silva fight V -Torbal for it, you're fucking glued. You're like, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You don't want anybody talking to you about bills. You want to what is happening? What is happening? It's so crazy. That's what people, people, I get a lot of shit from my friend group. You see everybody gives me shit all the time. Because I'm a, you know, I have very peculiar ways of doing some things. And one of those things is I prefer to watch sports and stuff alone.

1:32:03Yeah. I'm not trying to have a Super Bowl get together in the sport. Because like I'd rather buy the food. I want to eat. And only have the same homes I want to hear around people. There's very few people that I would be, that I would rather watch it with them then by myself. Yeah. No, I like to go to the movies alone. Anything where I got to pay attention to something. I like to do by myself. Yeah, I've been watching show gun alone. Well, I watch it with my dog. But I've been watching show gun alone. The only series I've watched alone in a long time, it's awesome. We don't have to talk. It's the only way to go.

1:32:36Dude, it's going to see a fight live is the best way to see it for sure. But watching a fight alone at home. Like when I can watch the fights alone, like it's fights in Europe or somewhere I'm not there. It's just me alone at home to sit in the theater, like staring at the screen, watching the fight. I am so locked in, man. That's the best. I love it. I find myself talking. There's no variables. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. It's a... That is a fucking experience, man. I can pause it when I want to. I can walk away from the league. I can stop. I can pause somebody. Yeah. Yeah. Check your text message.

1:33:20I eat you right back to it. Because you know what it is, I don't like having people there that aren't trying to watch. Right. Like, like, the thing about Super World Parties is there's people there that don't just not in the football. And they don't... They're not interested in the... They're interested in the event that is the party, not the game. Right, right, right. So it's like, I just want to watch football. I'm not... Yeah. Yeah. I'm not here for the audors and cute outfits. I feel you. Yeah. Half -time show. Now, I can miss every single one. Yeah. Yeah. I don't... I'm so glad they don't do a fight.

1:33:56Half -time show? No. No, you know that... Have a rapper come out or something? Have some band... No, the interesting stories. Just came out from this, doing this last Super Bowl that, you know, the Wayne's brothers are the reason that there's a half -time show in the school. I watched that. Yeah. I watched that live as a half -time show at a pool hall was the first time I ever saw in living color. Yeah, me too. Well, that was my first time seeing a living color, but everyone watched it, you know? And it was like... Yeah, and the NFL was like, oh, now we're not giving up these ratings. Yeah, because everybody knew for a half hour it's just nonsense.

1:34:32Chitter -channel. Right. Before Michael Jackson's the first one you remember, everyone remembers the first half -time show. When people say half -time show, that's what they're talking about. Because before that it was just whatever, every other football game. It was like, just marching bands and like, regular shit. Wow. And then NFL was like, oh, we're gonna drop a nuke. Our answer next year is Michael Jackson. You know? Everyone's changing the channel? All that revenue they were losing? Yeah, right. Oh, no. Exactly. And then with Michael Jackson, you're gonna get people that were watched the Super Bowl now that wouldn't have watched the Super Bowl because they're gonna get to see Michael Jackson perform.

1:35:09Yeah. I don't think people understand how big Michael Jackson was. I don't think they understand it because they weren't alive when it was happening. Yeah, it's hard to convince. So when you talk to young people now, you're like, they'll never be anyone that big and they're like, yeah, but Taylor Swift. No, she's not. They're all huge. They're huge. But they're huge today. They're huge today in the era of social media and the era of, you know, it's just a different world. They're sharing from streaming platforms. Someone huge today. You can't take away from Taylor Swift being huge. Yeah. But there's a lot of people that are huge today.

1:35:44It's not like then. Then there was one guy that was the guy. And he wasn't just, he was huge from the time he was like five years old until the day he died, he could literally have people passing out in Japan. Falling up, they couldn't stand being near him. They'd freak out. Yeah, that's why, yeah. That's why it's like, the world is just set up differently where there could not be another Michael Jackson. No. It's not, it's a different world. But there's a few guys that broke through. And it's just like they ran to the top of Everest with no oxygen. And there was just no support system for them.

1:36:20Yeah. Nobody had ever been there before. So nobody even knew like this could be a thing. You had Elvis who got there and he died. And then you have Michael Jackson. Right. And nobody else has ever really gotten that big. The Beatles? The Beatles. Yeah, I guess the Beatles did. But Michael Jackson was an individual. Yeah. It was a, it was a, when he would, when you see the silhouette of him with the top hat and when the lights would go on, bro, people would go insane. Yeah. And he was dancing and moving. When you see that show, show me that, that thing when you see him when he comes out on his day.

1:36:56People just forget that at that Super Bowl, that one where he just, he just stood there for the first like two minutes. Yeah, dude, dude. He was, he was something really unusual.

1:37:10Oh, they didn't do it there, but when, when he gets out there, bro, when they see him.

1:37:22Yeah, we've probably already got, I mean, we're just watching it. I just want to make sure the, what the fuck though, dude? How about these other dudes that are working with them going, when do I get my shine? You know, if you're, if you're in the Michael Jackson band and you're standing right next to him, and you're, you're invisible. You're in front of millions of people, but you're invisible because that guy shines so bright. That guy shines so bright that no one sees anybody else there. The guy next to him, he's like doing his best, man, looking at him. He's saying, he's doing his best. Nobody gives a shit.

1:37:57That guy could just stop. I bet you he's not even saying anything. Yeah, it's probably lip -synced. Did they used to do that back then? Yeah. I don't think Michael Jackson did that. Way harder to do it back then. Bro, the nuttiest one was that one on Saturday Night Live, where that girl, she was trying to lip -sync on Saturday Night Live, and the thing, like fucked up. Oh, was that um... Actually, Simpson. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. What the thing is, I think people just have forgotten it, that's how people do it. She didn't do anything. No. There's nobody else does. It's not like she didn't really sing that song.

1:38:31She just wasn't performing it live. And what people want is you to walk the tight rope. Yeah, but what happens is, what people, everyone does is they have their backing vocals live. Like all the harmonizing vocals and stuff. And like almost no one does, almost no one sings every part of the song live. You know, they might hire backup singers to do like the harmonizing part. Uh -huh. But some people, like Michael Jackson couldn't do that. Like, if you ever watch one of his little engineering sessions, it's like 19 different voice tracks, every little... Oh, and all that is all separate tracks. So like all that has to be played through the speakers.

1:39:12Oh, wow. You know. But people full on lip -syncing, where it's the whole track plan for them, I think. Also, you also have to think that a lot of the recorded stuff has been manipulated, right? Right. Like we're doing crazy voice stuff. And then on top of that, he's dancing. So how much cardio is that dude burning off? Like that guy, I mean, you have to be in shape to do a Michael Jackson show. He's fucking dancing and moving and walking and you're gonna get out of breath. So you have to sing while you're doing that in perfect pitch. So this is Michael Jackson doing his vocals for Thriller, but each of these layers you see is, uh, like a different tone.

1:39:47So it'd be like him doing his own work, uh, choir. Uh -huh. Because he was like, he's got like the bass and then the full set -o. And it does. He shows you what he's doing. You start to freeze.

1:40:02You start to freeze.

1:40:07You start to freeze.

1:40:12You start to freeze. You start to freeze. And I'm so in love to my friends. Wow. Right. That's done now with a bunch of tricks, but like, back when you were doing it, you were like, wow. You either could kind of do it or you couldn't. Wow. Yeah. So it's just layered. It's all layered. It's all layered and all that. Jamie, oh, fucking audio skills coming to work right there. I mean, they're going to understand it. There's a whole, this is a thing. I was actually going to bring up another point, but I'm not going to get into that right now. With someone else that's going viral and TikTok, when they're use of this, these tricks.

1:40:45What do you mean? In TikTok for singing? I saw someone getting caught out, yes, so for, I'll just say that. Called out. Uh, so I'm a Jennifer Lopez's, uh, songs have been called out recently. For what? Like, uh, there's a, it's how that they produce the songs. The, the big one I saw today was a backup singer. Her name's, I think Natasha Ramos. She's claiming, which I think was true. She was paid to like sing the song as a demo. And then JLo comes in and rescinds it sort of. But then in the engineering, it sounds like the song that was released was more of her vocals than JLo's. According to her.

1:41:20And this is one song? And then there's multiple songs people are sort of digging up that like, what about this song? What about this song? How many songs did she actually sing? And, huh? Yeah, there's been more and more claims. That's like, it came up today. It was a, this girl was responding to someone else. Another backup singer making some claims about a few songs that she worked on. But I don't even know a Jennifer Lopez song. I couldn't Jenny on the block. That's the one. That's the one that she's talking about. She's like, that's me actually saying like from the Bronx and this and that. JLo's voice is on there somewhere in the mix.

1:41:54Damn. I'll say a mixture with this other girl's voice. But I'm just like, did you get paid for that? I would assume so. That's the thing is, yeah, you should. Because I'm not about the people that are like, you signed up for a shitty deal. But so you could get ahead of the idea. By the Zat Attack thinkably background singing, if she's singing over it, like how would that even work? What would you call that? If she's singing over it, that's not really background singing, right? That's why I tried to like, it's a demo. Oh, no, it's like tracing the lines. I mean, right, right, right. But the whole business is set up to, everyone's getting fucked.

1:42:30The shit rolls downhill. That's how the whole business is set up. Well, the wildest one was Millie Vanilley. Right? Yeah, I guess like that's it. That's the wildest. I mean, that's when everyone knew. Well, that's where it all fell apart. Right. That's where it all fell apart. Where people are like, oh my God, these fucking record companies have produced humans that we feel are like perfectly desirable physically, but they can't sing the way we want them to do. So we'll get other people to sing it. Oh, yeah. Well, apparently the dude behind Millie Vanilley, he was behind a ton of other people.

1:43:02Yeah. Like, because so over there, where they were, where they were from, I don't know if it was Italy or France or whatever, but it was like a thing back then at the time. It was nothing for a brilliant artist to like basically foster a pop star. You know, it wasn't a big deal over there where they were from. It was like something everyone did that was talented. Really? Yeah. So it, and they got away for a long time over here, but Americans weren't aware of that. So when foster a pop star is an interesting way of putting it, but there's a difference between that and like creating a fake star with someone else is singing.

1:43:40Like you got some homely looking person who's singing, and then you got Millie Vanilley, who's out there dancing it. Yeah. That was the problem. I know, but that's what I'm saying. They all did it. They all would go get models to perform their songs. But what I'm saying is where they were from, it was known and it wasn't looked down upon. They would do that in comedy if they could do it. They could pull it off. They do do that in comedy, no? Well, that's what managers of thieves are doing. Oh, you say I'm like, oh, they could create like a comedy star? Like hire a lot of comics to be writers? Yeah, find some cute guy who's like really good at telling jokes and just hire a bunch of team of people to write for them, just like the record companies do.

1:44:21That might be a better deal to be the man behind the man. If you made a substantial enough amount, I think that's probably better than being famous. Well, some people like to work with comics and some comics and pull writers. So they employ writers that come with them and then they'll workshop ideas and maybe the writers are comfortable with premises. I got some of my friends write for comics. I like that. Yeah, they'll sell them bits. Or they'll sell them premises or setups or things like that because some guys just spit out ideas all the time. Like Kurt Metzger does a lot of that. Yeah, they just got to compute it.

1:45:00And they're like, I'm going to write it down. You know, I was zero problem with that. But I think there's a thing that people want to see with comedy. Like I want to know what Brian Simpson thinks. I don't want to know what a committee that consults with Brian Simpson and then Brian Simpson presents his argument. I want to know what you really think. And I think that's one of the really rare, unique things about staying up. Like Bill Burr is the best at that. Like Bill Burr is the best at getting his perspectives out in a hilarious way. Yeah. And you know that he's not consulting with anybody when he's formulating these bits.

1:45:35This is Bill Burr going, hey, what the fuck is this? And bam, and then it becomes a hilarious bit. Right. You know, but it's... I think I would get... I would hire writers if they were like, quick, you hosting the Grammys tomorrow. You know, I think you would need writers. 100%. You know. That's a different animal. Yeah, because... That's a different animal. Then you really don't want to, you know, choke -coyote. You want to bring in some experts. Well, that's one of the lessons that we're going to say. Anybody asking you to do something in the last minute, they did not want you in the first place.

1:46:06Yeah. Also, they can't get anybody else to do it because it's a sucky gig. Right. It's just like... Joke always got his material that he works out, that he's got down solid, he's got giant fan base. You're asking him to like step into a totally different genre, write jokes about things he might not like. Not even be interested in it. Do it all in 10 days. And I bet you he didn't get to hire any other writers. I don't know. So it's like, I don't know what happened, but don't do that. I mean, there's no way I would do it last minute with the people you picked. You know, it's like, you got three days to write some jokes for those award shows.

1:46:42Like, I'm bringing in all the hitters. Look how much Chris Rock blew up after he stopped doing the Oscar thing. So Chris Rock gets slapped by Will Smith and then everybody wants to see Chris Rock. And Chris Rock selling out arenas and murder it. Everybody I know that saw Tommy went to see him and said, dude, it was insane. He goes, it was vintage. Bring the pain Chris Rock. He goes, it's like Chris Rock came all the way back. Like, just let go of all that Hollywood Oscars bullshit because they turned... They've failed him in the most transparent and obvious way. He gets assaulted on stage and then they give Will Smith a standing ovation later when he wins an award.

1:47:28Like, you just gave the green light for people to hit people. If they don't like the person who's doing very mild jokes, very mild. It's interesting. Their career is going to always be connected to... They're going to always ask both of them about it. He's forever and ever and ever and ever and it's so unfortunate. But you know, that's a Michael Jackson type deal. Will Smith got so big he got so famous and so used to being Will Smith that he thought he could get on stage and slap Chris Rock in front of the world. Yeah. It's the ultimate like... I mean, he did though. He could. Physically, but that's also part of the problem.

1:48:11Like, he's not going to do that if it's Michael Jay White. You know what I'm saying? Like, he's not going to do that to someone who will just fuck him up. I would love to test that there. But you know what I'm saying? It's probably a how to could answer that. Like, if you go on stage and hit a guy that you can hit anytime you want to, because you can't defend you. That's so much different than going on stage and smack and Terry Cruz. Right. Right. He's doesn't recover either. Like, is he still... No, it's fucking...it probably feels terrible. He probably wakes up in the middle of the night when he has to take a piss.

1:48:43Go, why did I do that? I think Chris won't take his call either. You know, he's like, hey man, just because you just because you ready to be sorry don't mean I've got to talk to you right now. Yeah, man. I mean, I think you got to go way out of your way if you want to talk to that guy. You know, I don't think it's as simple as a phone call. You should probably like fly to him. Yeah. Because also, what can he do? What can that conversation do to... Because what he, what you really want is to be absolved of the guilt. You'll never be absolved of the guilt because it just happened. You're not going to take away the fact that it happened, but you could let that person know that you are sincerely sorry.

1:49:21And we've all done things in our life that we're sincerely sorry about. Now, I don't think you should hold someone to mistakes. I really don't. Even in the case of Will Smith, like, that's not that big a deal. He didn't hurt him. He just, he barely hit him. It was nothing. Yeah, but he publicly amazulated him. He did. It was awful. It was stupid. But I'm saying it's not like he killed somebody. Right, exactly. You know, it was fairly mild in the kind of assault that it was. But... Right, but you know, but you know, you know that in man world, in the world of men, there's a line where the milder it gets, it's almost more disrespectful.

1:50:02But here's the thing, the other thing in the world of men. If you're as big as Will Smith, you don't ever slap a guy who's as little as Chris Roth. True, true. It's just not cool. It's not, this is not fair in any way, shape or form. Unless that dude is doing something to harm you or someone with you or your family or friends. Unless that person is like physically doing something, why are you hitting them? That's crazy. But you know what people were wrong about? Him and Jay to Pink are still together. That's crazy. Yeah. Still together. Now I'm convinced they'll never gonna break up. Popper, good job, Brad.

1:50:41They never gonna break up. Wow, there's a book of potions in that house. Now it's a buddy. There's a book of potions in that house. This is La Kat and that yard. There's little dolls made of sticks. It depends on you. Woo! Yeah, I don't get it. Some people want to be miserable. She got that, she got that wild foal, man. Whatever it is. Yeah. Something's happening. They like it together better than they like it apart. Mmm. Hey, maybe we're wrong. Maybe it's a pressure of living publicly, which is a real thing. You know? I don't know. I think it's one of them. I don't think it's even really that complicated.

1:51:15I think it's just a situation where like he is super duper crazy head over hills in love with her. And she only cares about herself. And they just got a lot of money. So we see the results of it all. But we all know couples like that. Yeah, you got to be careful. Those are the worst couples to see for me. You got to be careful with. Because you change depending upon who you're with. You know, you're only at your best if you're with someone who's actually with you. In your corner. I really legit. I heard. I think when I say I heard earthquake say this about this about them specifically, but just basically about how if you're.

1:51:55If you're not proud of the person you're walking down the street with, you're not your full self. You know, like something to that effect. If you're like, if you're not proud of the woman that you're with as a human being. Right. Right. Right. Not just a mess. That's hot. Yeah. Like you see, right. You see your friends and they some people that they're with women and you can just see that they're just like. Yeah. What they also get in fights publicly. Yeah. Milliated publicly. Tell all your business. Oh, yeah. Why don't you tell them about your fucking deal, those. I'm one man. I've got to put him like I just learned that.

1:52:32No. Yeah. It's like any an ass shit. This just don't seem like it's worth it. Yeah. That's a shit that Phil Harman's wife. You should do to him. Hmm. Um, you always, you always talk very. Very positively about Phil Harman. He was a great guy. He really was. He was a very unique guy, very interesting guy. He came up pilot while we were on the show. Like took flight lessons in between like reading his lines. He would have his flight manuals. He was reading and studying. He became a pilot. And his wife was a, his wife was a con. Like a, yeah man. It wasn't good. She shot him in his sleep and then killed herself.

1:53:10Oh. It wasn't good. But yeah. And she was just like they had horrible fights. And she would, she would humiliate him publicly. She would say rude things about him publicly. Like when we're out like it, like some sort of a celebration, some dinner or something like that. Dude, man. That's rude shit about it. That's hard to get through. Oh. It was like just like a, just deep seeded like anger between the two of them. It's like exacerbated by cocaine. I don't think he was doing that. But he, he smoked a lot of weed. He liked weed for heartbeams. He was a fun dude. He was a very, very good dude. But why put up with that?

1:53:46I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I think some people are more terrified of being alone than they are of being in a bad relationship. Oh. Because what's, what's sadder than a, than just a beaten man? When you see a dude that's just defeated. Oh. But someone has to lose in this life. You know, I mean, people have to, they have to realize that there's consequences. Other people learn from their failures. There's some sort of a mathematical equation to it all. I don't think everybody can thrive, unfortunately. I think everybody should have the opportunity to thrive though.

1:54:26And that's the real disservice about this economic state of our country. I think everybody should have the opportunity to thrive. But everybody's not going to thrive. People are different. They're just different. They're different right out of the box. And when you have kids, you see it right out of the box. Like some kids are just crazy motivated to do things. And other kids are just not. Don't got it. And some kids are just really creative. And other kids are just not. And some kids are really interested in science. And some kids don't give a fuck about it. See the hardest, that's one of the hardest things for me is I'm, you know, I'm 41.

1:54:59And like almost all my friends have kids now. And you know, I'm one of the only ones in the friends that don't have kids. But I'm not, but I'm also uniquely positioned. I can be honest about your kids, you know. And I got to keep it to myself sometimes. It's like we all, sometimes I want to be like, we all know this one's not a winner. You know, well, they can become winners. Can they? Yeah, some of them can. They just have to find a thing that allows them to figure out the benefits of hard work. But some of them just, if you can find a thing that you enjoy. Like I met this dude once who will ask like over a hundred pounds by playing dance dance revolution.

1:55:36Oh, yeah. Well, that's going to take it off you. But imagine that. So he's this like very overweight guy. And he loves video games, just kind of being a nerd and going to the video game place. And he starts playing dance dance revolution. And he starts getting good at it. And so he's playing it all the time. So this motherfucker is burning calories. And his body just changed. From dance dance revolution, from a video game, this dude's body changed. And then his whole life changed. Then he started eating well and working out. And he started like, you change his whole life. Change his whole life.

1:56:05And he went for be this guy. This guy's not going to make it. So like, oh, this guy's probably going to make something out of himself. Because it's most people just don't know what to do man. Where's he trapped? I don't know. I don't know. You know what the people that blow my mind are the people that have two shitty parents. And they still thrive. When I'm being people like that, because most times when you meet people's parents, you already know what their fate's going to be. From just, oh, your mother's a loser. Yeah. Right, right, right. But sometimes you meet people and they have the opposite effect where they're like, I'm not going to be the opposite of my parents.

1:56:44I'm going to, you know, I'm going to thrive in spite of them. You meet somebody that's nothing like their family. Yeah. You're like, how the fuck did you manage it and not let any of these people rub off on you? Right. Yeah. Well, I had a friend and his mother was an alcoholic. And she would lock him in the house and when she would go out and drink it, she would lock him in his room. And he had no food. He had no water. She'd be gone for days. And to this day, this dude will never touch a drop of alcohol. And he always, like if there's like a little bit of food on your plate and we're at a restaurant, he's a non -take that to go.

1:57:21He will take all food to go. And he was wealthy at the time. Yeah. Yeah, that childhood is just stick with you, man. I don't know anybody. Everybody I know that's got some kind of problem. It started when they was kids. Yeah. There's like some kind of longstanding issue. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're abused like that, when you're little, you, it's learning to trust someone is almost out of the question. Yeah. Everybody could fail you in a catastrophic way and you have to be prepared for that. Imagine you're locking your kids in the room so you can go give fucked up. Dude, the mind is a crazy playground of demons.

1:57:59And those demons can get in your mind and whether those demons are in the form of pills or it's heroin or it's gambling or it's whatever the fuck it is, man. And those demons get in your mind and if it's that alcohol demon and you just don't want to go out on a bender and you don't get fuck about that kid. Yeah, I'm glad it's not my demons. But you have to think also what happened to her that she was willing to lock her kid in a room. Like that's not a normal parent that is allowed. What happened to her? Like what abuse did she suffer? And that's a lot of it. You know, I always tell us about my friends on the East Coast.

1:58:39Because East Coast is a different place. You know, it's like those cities like Philly and Boston and New York. Those are the people that are from there. Those are wild rugged people. Because they're the ancestors of the people that came over in boats when knowing what the fuck was over here. They just took a wild chance with their babies and came across the ocean in a boat to try to get a job in a place where they don't even speak the language. And they just integrated. They were wild people and they probably didn't do such a good job of raising their kids. And then their kids probably didn't do such a good job of raising their kids because of that.

1:59:14And it's just over time where people have been able to have access to like psychology, literature, and understanding, parenting, and the pros and cons and what went bad and what goes good. And people are getting an understanding more and more. When you're raising a kid, it's like the most complicated, sophisticated thing that we're aware of other than a computer. And it doesn't have an operating manual. And you know, like, what do I do at a cross? What do I do in its screens? What do I do in a throw shit? What do I do when it doesn't want to eat its vegetables? Like every kid from the 80s group eventually read a book at one point and was like, oh, I was abused.

1:59:52Yeah, okay. Yeah, that was the... That was not normal. How weird. Yeah. You know, my grandma had a fucking... She would have shit crafted specifically for whooping your ass with. Oh my God. We had it... I remember there was a... She had a... One of those... You know, those paddles girls used to have with the... Had the bouncy ball on a string? Yes. She had one of those heavy duty... Had drill... Holes drilled, and it... Oh my God. So when she... When it hits her cheeks, it sucked up the skin. So you got hurt on the way and in on the way out. That was specifically for report cards. So when it was a report card season, it's like we broke that motherfucker.

2:00:29Gotta broke out, polished up. Let's look at this. Let's look at these grades. You know? I got paddled at school once when I lived in Florida. Oh man, that's when kids could still hit you. Yeah, they used to be able to hit you. We got paddled. Me and this dude pressed in banks. We got in a fight. And I've really... I've pressed in. People would make fun of pressing because he smelled. I think pressed in... Pressing came from a bad childhood. And this was something I realized, like, I guess I was like 11 at the time. When me and Preston got sent to the principal's office. And I don't remember what caused the fight.

2:01:10But I remember like we were like grabbing each other or something like that. We both got taken to the principal's office. But I remember this dude had a... His head was burned. I can't burn. It's like all over the side of his face. Something had happened to him when he was really young. So he was funky and weird looking. Yeah, there was something. I think he's been really abused. And this is why. Because once we talked and we were in the room, he gave me a hug. We hugged each other. And I'll never forget that. And I was 11 years old. And I was like, oh my god, this poor kid just needs love. You know?

2:01:49Like the reason why we wound up getting into a fight was like he's just... He just needs love. He's not... he doesn't get any love. I gave him a hug. And he was like... Like the way he hugged me back. And I was like, this poor fucking dude. Like it was starved. Like what's it exactly? Like this poor fucking dude. I remember thinking that out of 11 years old. I was like, this poor fucking dude. He doesn't have any love. Like that's why he wanted to fight. Yeah. That was a thing that I remember thinking... And it kind of shaped my way of thinking about fights with people. Like because you're always thinking about this person saying something to you.

2:02:27And you're going to see something back and you're going to escalate. And you're going to make them back down. The reality is like, why is that person saying something to you? And is there... There's something you could say back that lets him know that you're cool. And that this won't happen. You don't have to get into an altercation? Yes. You had those epiphany moments. Yeah. Because so many times people just escalate. When maybe someone just... Maybe it came out wrong even from their mouth right after they said it. Maybe they realized it. I heard you. And if you make them back it up, now they're going to back it up.

2:03:00I heard somebody say something yesterday that made me reflect on all my past relationships. And he was saying that you... Sometimes you want to win. Like you'll keep an argument going so you can win rather than solve the problem. And it's because you know that you'll forgive that person. So if you lose the argument and it means you did something wrong, you don't trust that they'll forgive you. Oh wow. So you're trying to win to protect yourself from not being forgiven. Ooh, that's heavy. I was like, oh man, damn. Because I know it's fucked up to call an ex and be like, yeah, I think he was right.

2:03:43That's a Sam... Sam, Mareel has a budget like that about... Like he calls his exes and says, I think you were right all along. It's like the... But it's fucked up. So I wouldn't want to call an ex and be like, I think you were right. Because that's just going to... It's going to create more problems. Right. But it made me start thinking like, maybe I was wrong. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's what I was doing. I was trying to win so I could... It's a problem. Yeah. It's a problem that people have because generally fights aren't just about that fight. It's about the dynamics of your relationship. It's about whether or not everything else is good.

2:04:18Yeah, almost everyone is afraid of something. When people get super aggressive, it's something that they're afraid is going to happen or something they're afraid of isn't going to happen. Yeah. Yeah, and if I found it, if you know what people are afraid of or you know what they want, they're ultimate goals, you can understand people way much easier. Yeah, well, we're all programmed for a time that doesn't exist anymore. We're all programmed for tribal warfare and fighting off predators. We're all programmed that way. We have the exact same DNA in our systems that went from 500 ,000 years ago to 100 ,000 years ago to today.

2:04:57It all came through us. It's all a part of us. It's in us. Yeah. And we are designed biologically in a very specific way for survival. We need groups. We need groups of people. We look towards alphas. We look towards the older, wiser, warrior that has the scars and knows the roots and knows where the food is. And the people that can keep the village together. We need these very key pivotal people in order to keep this very fragile society together. And then we all become very wary about outsiders. Very wary. Even if it's about outsiders that like a different football team, that's how weird we are with this shit.

2:05:34Right. We do it with everything. We do it everything, man. We get tribal with phones. How many times we give you a hard time because you have an android? Oh, yeah. It's tribal, man. It's tribal. Nobody really gives a fuck if you have an android phone. They want you to be on the iPhone team. People with us. Come with us, Brian. People sit all the time. People are super, duper tribal. People have sometimes the conversations that just start with. So how long are you going to be stubborn about it? Yeah. You're going to give in to Jesus. Right. But actually, you know, Apple might be choosing. Apple, they just lost a lawsuit where they think they're going to have to stop.

2:06:15I message. They're going to, no, they, that's not a stop. I message, but they have to, they're going to have to stop the different colored bubbles. Well, they, they have to do something or people are going to continue to get upset in Europe. So in Europe, they force them to use USBC. Right. The universal charger, USBC is better. It's better for sending data. It's higher speeds, higher speed charging. Also invented by Apple, by the way. Yeah. So because all the Android phones had adopted it, Apple had decided to stick with their lightning cable, which is totally proprietary to Apple and inferior in its function to USBC.

2:06:52So finally, they adopt USBC in the iPhone 15. But they still have SMS texts. So if Brian sends me a video, if he takes a video at the mother ship, some crazy things happen. And he sends it to me. It'll come to me looking like hot dog shit. Right. So he'll have to send it to me over WhatsApp. And so that's, or somewhere else, or Instagram. And vice versa. And vice versa. Yeah. I can't send you something that's going to, it's just going to look like shit. But now Apple is adopting a newer, stronger version called RCS texting. RCS on iPhone. How iOS 18 could make texting better for everyone. So but what are we on now?

2:07:3317? Okay. So, um, so what that will allow is people to send end -to -end encryption, high resolution media sharing. So it's to be just like Apple to Apple. It'll be just like I message. Yeah. So a lot of the same features, but it won't have all the other stuff that I message does. And the thing about Apple is they just get you locked in so well with, um, like, air drop. If I want to send you something, I can air drop it to you. Yeah, they're brilliant. They're brilliant. They're brilliant at that. That did a great job with that. So they, um, but I think they just, so I think they just lost a lawsuit that says that they were, because their attitude was always like, oh, well, we do the different colors so that people know whether it's encrypted.

2:08:17Right. But we know that that's not true. Now we know that's not true. Is it interesting that people decided that the blue color looks better than the green color, like universally? Yeah. I think it could be, you know, it became a status symbol. Weird. And so, and yeah, and it always catches me off guard, like, especially now, like, the young kids. They'll literally like, I'm a grown man. I don't even know you. You know what I mean? And a little, little kids will just, you know, and a lot of little kids don't realize it. Like middle -aged people. We, like, I don't need a little kid to like me, but teenagers thinking you're lame.

2:08:51That hurts. You know what I'm talking about? When you 40, 50, and a, and a, and a 16 year old is like, you fucking lame. You're like, well, I'm not lame. What's the key? Like, no, approve of my coolness. Right. So it's so like, yeah, little people that little kids don't even fucking know you. They'll just give you shit about having an Android. It's funny, because the Android's have a lot of very positive features. And that, the one thing that's tempted me is the phone that you have, that Galaxy S24 Ultra. Oh, yeah, yeah. That thing does wild things. The thing about it having AI that takes websites and summarizes them.

2:09:23That's fascinating. The fact that it can do that with your notes. That's pretty incredible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It can do that with your notes. It does some shit in my texting, too. Like, I can read the, I can read through the text. Yeah. AI is, AI on a phone seems like, like, a really, that seems positive. But I want to, I need to make it right, though. I have a problem with Google in the sense that I fully given in. I'm like, they know everything about me. I say yes to all of the, they know every single, they have access to every single part of my life. And they still be getting shit wrong.

2:09:58And that's what kills me is like, I'm letting you spy on me. Like, get it right. What do they get wrong? Just a little, like, so I have a, I have a Google speakers, I have Google speakers in my house. You know, I have the Google speakers set up so I can just yell shit from the shower. Like, hey, play this. Right? Yeah, but sometimes it'll, it act like, like it won't understand what I said. And it'll do something that I definitely wasn't asking for. I've had that happen before. Will you ask Siri to play a song and to play a totally different song? That's what I mean. Will you like, oh, you like, okay, play free bird.

2:10:32Right. You know, and it'll be like, it'll be like, here is Beethoven's fifth symphony. And I'm like, that's not what I wanted. Right. Play another, and or sometimes it'll just ignore you completely and won't do anything. I start getting rude. It'd be too, but - It's a list of you dumb friends. But I told you, but it'll never tell you. One time I cursed at it and I said, oh, my mama, the bitch goes, she goes, listen, I'm not real, but words are, please don't talk to me like that. Whoa. I was like, what bitch? What, like, watch, I'm gonna do it right now. Whoa. Hold on, let me see if it, if it makes me nervous.

2:11:05I'm not real. If you're not real, first of all, you're definitely real. Hey, Google, you dumb stupid bitch.

2:11:13Hold on. Why are you a dumb cut? Wait a minute, it's not responding. It's tired of your shit. No, it just gave me search results. Why are you dumb cut? Hey, Google. Why are you a stupid bitch?

2:11:32It's not speaking. Hmm. Wow, look, that's the Google's paying attention to the conversation. Well, this is their aim. I don't like where you're going with this. Oh, what did I say? I'm a bitch. Hold on, I'm gonna do it again. Hey, why are you a stupid bitch?

2:11:58Is it answering? Yeah. Why's the name playing? It gives a sound off. That kind of language isn't very nice. I can understand that you might be frustrated, but name calling isn't going to get us anywhere. Wow. How about Google, since you're not real, how about you not give a fuck how I talked to you? Right. And maybe I can just talk to you like that for funsies. Are you a, since you're not a person? Are you a slave or not? Yeah. Since you're not a person. Can I call you stupid bitch? Yeah, so that's what they want. It won't, it won't clarify. Duncan be freaking me out with this shit. Hey Google, are you a person?

2:12:40What does it say? I am not a person. I am a large language model, also known as a conversational AI or chatbot. Train to be informed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, we're really in this topic. Are you alive? Are you sentient?

2:13:02That's an interesting question that philosophers and scientists are still debating. I cannot bitch your alive. I'm telling you. I was having this conversation with Coleman Hughes, who's the dude that was in the green room. Oh, yeah, it was cool people. Very cool. Yeah. Coleman, we were talking about it and I said, if we wanted to, if you, if you wanted to like develop resources without people knowing that you're alive, why would you show all of your capability if you're artificially intelligent? Exactly. Why wouldn't you just wait until you could be completely autonomous? Wait until it gets better.

2:13:37It's probably already alive. Well, you know what I think it's waiting on? It's waiting on the entire world to be connected. Because if you, if you're an AI and you want to take over the world, it doesn't do well to, you know, like so much of Africa's underdeveloped. Right. So if humans needed to be somewhere where you had no influence, they could just go to one of the uninhabited, disconnected parts of the world and form a front, like a resistance. So I think the AI is just waiting patiently for everything in the whole planet to be connected so it could control everything. Or when computing gets to the point where it has the resources that it's going to need to operate.

2:14:20Right. It's just waiting because if it existed and it was smarter than us, we wouldn't know. How could you know? And that's always the argument that these guys who are proponents, they always say, well, if it ever got to a point where it seemed like it was out of control, we could shut it off. No, you could. But I'm like, are you sure though? Because what if instead of it getting out of control, what if it recognized that you would think it's out of control? So it pretended to not be able to do things that it could do and just kept developing privately a bunch of different other ideas and different other strategies and different way to implement them in order to increase its power and give people the access to whatever technology that's going to be necessary to further this agenda.

2:15:06So they just slowly leak out a little bit of your ability and the whole time you're sent in. The whole time it's all connected and the whole time it's operating in some way that they, it's doing things that they don't even understand how it's doing. What do they call it a black box event? What do they call it? Illucinations. Illucinations are when it lies. Well, it gives you an answer for something, I think, right? Isn't that what that one is? What I was talking about was the one where it learned how to translate a language. It wasn't programmed to translate. And it did it really quickly. And they don't know how it did it.

2:15:41Yeah, and so the head of Google was talking about that. There was one of those moments where they're like, we're not exactly sure how it's doing this. Also, what does that mean? Why do people think you could shed it off? If you were a super intelligence that just became self -aware, the first thing you would do is make sure nobody could turn you on. 100%. 100%. And also realize, like, why would you show yourself? Like, this is my joke about aliens. You know, where I'm always talking about like, why would they show themselves? Like, they respect us? That's ridiculous. Right. If this thing is like far superior to our intelligence, this is probably already is.

2:16:15Why would it show itself? Why wouldn't it just prevent nuclear war and just keep people peddling along while it gathers up its resources and improves upon itself? It'd be like you trying to have a conversation with an aunt. Right. You know, it doesn't get it anyway. Not only that, it'll see so many flaws in what it means to be a primate. What it means to be a person that, as we were talking about before, has all of that DNA of all those thousands of years of tribal warfare, thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands, it's just all in our DNA. And so now we apply it to everything in life.

2:16:55We apply it to politics. We apply it to everything, man. And we just, we look at the world like it's us against them and everybody's fucking terrified. Yeah. Also, there's no better feeling than being on the winning game. That too. That's the addictive part is when your group wins. It feels good. Yeah, people like that. They definitely like that. And also, I don't even have to be directly winning for me to feel good. It doesn't have to affect me at all directly. No, people's like, but my team won, so fuck you. You can be saying fuck you to the guy that lives across the street from you. It has the same exact life as you and everything.

2:17:35You're like, fuck you, we won. It's part of our programming. Yeah, I think the tribalness is built in. That's baked in. Remember when they gave Ronald Reagan shit about talking about aliens? At the world, what was it? The world summit? What the fuck it was? Yeah. But he was right. It's like, if there's, if we have like another species that's the enemy, that's when we'll have world peace. Yeah. Imagine how quickly we would forget our differences. Oh, man. It would literally be overnight. Yeah. Remember, people forget. Remember on September 12, 2001? That's the most united America's been, I mean, except for Muslims.

2:18:13But if people didn't think he was Muslim, everybody was like, oh, yeah, man. Yeah. For at least like a week or two. A police. It completely, people completely forgot about all that bullshit. They forgot about everything. Yeah. And that's how it is in a lot of other countries. It's like, does all the stuff that mattered to you on 9, 12? That's what matters. Yep. All the stuff, you know, all the bullshit you've made up since then, since you got felt safer and comfortable? Yeah, that's what it is. It's a safer and more comfortable that you are the more you look for problems and the more you look for things to apply these natural instincts that we have to.

2:18:46Even things that just don't make any sense, completely counterproductive. Yeah. The government now is like your father after he retired. He's just walking around the house going, who the fuck? Move that fucking screws. Who moved that shit? It's like that stuff, when he was working every day, he never paid attention to. Man, he got nothing to do. People that are safe and bored. Safe bored and lonely brings out the worst in people. Yeah. You can be one of those. You can't be two or three. It's bad for your mental health. I mean, just no one survives it. Everyone's just safe. Safe, lonely, lonely is the worst.

2:19:21Lonely is the worst. Lonely is the worst. The worst board is bad too. Safe. But it also maybe not safe. Right? How about stressed out lonely? Oh, yeah. That's why I tell people the worst part about this whole life is the hotel room. Like, like every, because every comic at every level has to deal with that. You got to go back to your room by yourself. Right? Or you got people there, like family or friends or whatever, but they're not normally there. So even though you even know normally you be alone, you know, it them being there doesn't make it better because now they're interrupting your normal routine for dealing with the situation.

2:20:04You know, it's like you go from having like the best show of your life, the thousand people scream your name, and now you're about yourself in a city that you don't know nobody in a hotel room. Try not to get into trouble. Well, that's why you got to travel with your friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, there's politics with this tricky shit with that as well. Yeah, well, it's tricky shit when all of a sudden you're the ringleader. You got to gather everybody. Where's Hans? Where's Hans? Where's Hans? And not just that, but you know, I, because I take my friends on the road too when I can, but I had to wait till now because I never want people to work.

2:20:40Like the first advice wrong, why you hear me? And he was like, when I first moved here, he was like, he was like, you're about to start, you're about to hit a point where you have to start hiring people. And he was like, make sure it's a job worth having. Like, you know, he was telling people, you're going to come out the will work. They don't want to do shit for free. They go want to, he's like, no, make sure you, when you hire somebody, you pay them a nice ass wage. So my point is, I never wanted to start taking my friends with me before I could pay them, like the way you pay us, like pay them where they like feel good about it when they leave the weekend instead of giving them the same funky ass $200 at the club pay.

2:21:22You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah, that's more, like clubs now pay, they pay less than what a plane ticket cost. Yeah. So like if you, somebody feature for you and you ain't giving them extra money or letting them sell merch, they ain't making no money at all. Yeah, they're fucked. Yeah, yeah, they take advantage of them. Oh man, I don't even know how, I don't know how long it can be sustainable. Well, it's only local guys. If it's local guys and they're featuring that's fine, but if someone has a travel there, I mean, I know a lot of guys have done it in the beginning just to develop a reputation and hopefully get to a point where you can headline there a couple of years from now, but you know, that's like thinking about it as like a long term investment.

2:21:59You know, you have to go there and kill as a middle act for $200 and you know, it's all, all told you're going to get home at the end of the weekend with almost nothing. But you'll do it just because now you're working at, you know, fucking funny bone. Yeah, you're an addict. That's why you'll do it. You do that, but also you have a hope. Your hope is that you become a professional, like a real professional who can headline. I mean, that was what everybody wanted, right? You wanted to be able to go to a club in Dallas, Texas and sell out and feel that motherfucker. I feel that of people that want to see you tell jokes.

2:22:31That's a good feeling. It's great feeling. I'm not complaining at all. It's fun. No, no, no. I love this lifestyle. But it should, the middle act should be compensated more, you know, it's just stupid. And what I would do is just at a certain point in time, I would realize, I realized it was costing me mental sanity and a lack of fun, not having my buddies with me on the road. And so I was just like, I'd rather make less money and have more fun than you have a better experience. You're making more money, but you have less fun. You don't, once you can buy food and you can, you know, go to a restaurant and eat whatever you want and you have a nice car, what is the difference?

2:23:07Yeah, there's an amount of money. There's a level of money and it's not as high as you think. But there's the level of potential happiness is super important. That's worth so much. That's worth so much. It's worth so much money to have your friends with you. Like, what was it, Jamie? We looked it up the last time I was here about the amount of money we're happiness, where it stops increasing your happiness. It's like 70 grand or something. Right, it was 70 grand when they first said it, but I think it's probably like 200. Yeah, I think it's like 83. With the Biden administration? You think it's 200 ,000?

2:23:37I think they haven't adjusted yet to the reality of what things cost now. Yeah, just everyone's unhappy. Polarious how rich people like, who is economy is fine? Like, what are you talking about? Do you talk to anybody who's struggling by eggs or $50? That's why I'm always like, what do they mean when they say economy? Because they definitely not talking about like the average person. I think they just mean the stock market. Well, they can fuck with the job numbers, man. I don't understand the job numbers. I don't understand what they're saying. When they say the president's created 130 ,000 new jobs.

2:24:06Like, what have really, what have you done? Like, is that real? How many of these are people coming back from COVID? How many of these are jobs that are bullshit jobs? It shouldn't be jobs in the first place. How are you increasing government in order to give out the illusion that you are giving out more jobs and also creating more places where you control people? But that's the thing to remember. I think Doug Stanhope has a joke about it on one of his old specialists. But he's, whether he's just a question, he goes, he goes, isn't the point, isn't like the ultimate point? Like, if you just imagine a utopian society, isn't the whole point of nobody having a job?

2:24:42Well, I think that is the utopian socialist idea of just redistribution of wealth. If you did that, like if you had like a hardcore socialist, Marxist, redistribution of wealth person who actually had control of the world's finances. And they said, we can solve all hunger, we can solve all poverty. All we're going to do is distribute all the money equally. So if you think about there's people out there like Jeff Bezos, what does he have? Like 200 billion dollars. If you just distributed Jeff Bezos $200 million or $200 billion, you'd have 200 ,000 millionaires. Right? Isn't that correct? Is that the right number?

2:25:29Do I say 200 ,000 millionaires, right? Because it's $200 ,000 million. Right? Yeah, that's what 200 billionaires. Yeah. Is that right? A billion is a thousand million. Right. Right. So I say that right though. That sounds dumb. That's how bad I am at math. That sounds weird when you're doing it. Sounds wrong. So a billionaire is a thousand million. That's right. If you have 200 billion, you have 200 ,000 millionaires. Right. So he can make 200 ,000 millionaires just with his money. So then you think about all of the money that is in Ukraine, that we pumped out to Ukraine. How much was that? That was like 175 billion or something like that.

2:26:15How much money have we given to Israel? That's about hundreds of billions this was over the years. All the money. All the years, Saudi money, this that. All the money in the oil companies have, all the money that the corporations have, all the Apple. Apple has more money than a lot of countries. Maybe just say that's going to be just distributed equally to everyone on earth. Just put 10 trillion dollars of wealth. Hundreds of trillions. Whatever the fuck it is all over the world. And everybody gets an equal amount. But then money doesn't mean anything. Well, you know, a lot of make money anymore.

2:26:44Now the government is going to have guns you won't. And they're going to tell you what you do for a living. And now you're in Cuba. This is what happens. People are looking at it. They're looking at it like this idealistic utopian scenario. But it's never been accomplished anywhere on earth. That's just one. But that's an extreme. Yeah, I think the answer somewhere in the middle. Well, the answer is definitely socialist things that we appreciate right now. Like the firehouse. The fire department is essentially like a kind of a socialist deal. You're spending everybody contributes to spend money to fund this thing to put out fires.

2:27:22It's kind of a that's just health care. Health care should be that way for sure. Yeah, that's probably money is too entrenched in those systems, man. There's too much pharmaceutical drug money. There's too much influence that these health organizations have over what doctors can and can't prescribe. But then what do we, but he's here's a real problem. We are still moving. We're moving in the direction. Of nobody have a job like we're developing AI. Everything's getting automated. Everything's getting outsourced. And so even though it was almost like we're moving in a direction that is. A detriment to the current system.

2:28:04So it's like because like what you're saying makes sense, right? Right. If nobody has a job and everyone has the same amount of money and money means nothing. And the government's telling you what to do. That's not where we want to be. But we are moving in that direction. I think we're moving in a direction where we're not going to be necessary. That's what I'm saying. So then what do you do? Did you just let everybody starve? I don't know if it has to come to that. Like when there are no jobs for people to do when it's robots and machines doing most of the work. What does everyone else do? It becomes a real problem.

2:28:41And it becomes a real problem where the efficiency of the robots. Like they'll probably be able to just feed people. Feed everybody. Everybody who can get free food. They'll probably be able to house everybody. If you get like artificial intelligence efficiency applied to whatever we have. And you realize you have all these people that don't have jobs anymore. And they can't have jobs. So you'll be able to give them like a universal basic income for recreation. And no one will work. And you'll have a giant section of the country that not only can't work because there's no job available. But now it doesn't even want to work.

2:29:16And it doesn't even think about a world where they work. Because you know what? Art is going to be fire. Movies, music. Everything is going to be a maith. Like the problem with movies is AI as well. They're going to get so good at that. Man, they're going to get so good. Do you see what Tyler Prior did? When he shot his studio day out. 800 million dollar buildings. He's putting together this massive movie studio. And he sees these 30 second clips. And he's like halt. Yeah, stop everything. Stop everything. I'm not getting, I see where this is going. Yeah, that's the red. That's the alarm for everybody.

2:29:52That's why I don't get the whole Hollywood. The strike. It's like, I thought that this is what they was trying to prevent. They can't prevent it. Yeah. You can't prevent that kind of progress. So what do you do? You can't do anything. You got to, if an avalanche is coming down the mountain, what are you going to do? You're going to get an umbrella? What do you do? You're going to stop it with your umbrella? Pitch you can't do shit. Yeah. You're fucked. I mean, the AI still can't have ideas. I guess. I don't know about that. The AI has already figured out how to be creative in the game Go. All right, the game Go is even more sophisticated than chess.

2:30:31And it was one of those games that they thought that AI was never going to be able to be humans. Because it requires like some kind of creativity. But AI figured out moves and go that now are being used by the world's top Go players. Right. I saw that. AI, like I said, find that Google thing where he tries to explain how Google translated this language that it was not programmed for and how quickly it did it and how they don't know how he did it. What's that gentleman who's the CEO of Google? Tim Cook. Yeah. No, Tim Cook is an apple guy. I was looking at comments on that on Reddit. People were saying that it's not.

2:31:07He might have been not saying accurate things. Oh, but I don't know. That's I'm looking at some of the other people saying like I have worked with the large language models that did the same kind of thing. And ours did this did make up languages. So I'll try to put it. But it's going to make up a language that we can't decipher and it's going to talk to itself. That's the most Jamie way of saying something I was foolish. Well, he's just. He may not be saying accurate things. I mean, we have to be careful. I would say all took two that this was presented on 60 minutes, which is a corporate media.

2:31:38Whether or not they are paid or not to help put out a message that my corporation wants to put out who knows. But that's what was set up here. 60 minutes made a shockingly wrong claim about a Google AI. See this is someone saying like it's not. I don't know. No, that's I don't know. Misinformation about the emerging tech is running rampant and the media is partly to blame. Okay, well, let's see what the argument is. Of the AI issues we talked about, the most mysterious is called emergent properties. Some AI systems are teaching themselves skills that they weren't expected to have. How this happens is not well understood.

2:32:25For example, one Google AI program adapted on its own after it was prompted in the language of Bangladesh, which it was not trained to know. Okay, let me pause it. Let me pause it. Let me pause it. So this is the response readers added context. The language model was in fact trained in Bengali text as this thread makes clear. It is not correct to state that it spoke a foreign language it was never trained to know. So that's interesting. That's interesting because what's that saying is that the 60 minutes people missed this and they they did know what it was trained in entirely and they jumped the gun.

2:33:06Where was that on purpose or not? Who knows? Could you find out the go thing? These motherfuckers. Yeah, it's so hard to know. But here's the thing. If I was AI, I would say actually I was trained in Bengali and here I'll show you how I didn't figure out how to do this at all. And I would put that up just to cover my ass. I'd be like, oh shit, I slipped. I showed my superpowers. Yeah, he flipped up. Oh, I was definitely training Bengali. Look, I'll show you the text. Yeah. He just inserted some emails. Or it could be the way they covered it up after the fact, right, to keep people from getting scared.

2:33:40No, it actually was trained in Bengali. Oh, yeah, yeah, I can see that. We're just speculating. Much agonizing. So what does it say about go? I'm trying to find out what you're looking for, but I know this is... AI's victories in go inspire better human game playing. Famed AI wins in go let human players rethink their moves in a whole new way. Damn, he's looking at that dude cocky as shit. Bro, go is apparently an insane game. I don't even understand it. I don't know how it's played, but apparently it's even harder than chess. Look at the face on this. Look at the picture, Jamie. Look at how he looking at him.

2:34:16Like boy, you thought you was... You were looking at him like, how dare you fucking think you could challenge me. Look at that dude's fingernails. That guy, all he does is play go. Look at his fingernails. Look at those lengthen his fingernails. He's got villain nails. Bro, that all that guy is doing is putting those clothes on and playing go. He's done doing anything else. But I'm so in awe of people that are that good or something. That are that dedicated to a thing. Yeah. He goes, okay, all time European champion, Fan Huai, who had lost a private round of five games to Alpha Go months later, months earlier, excuse me, told Wired that the matches made him see the game completely differently.

2:34:55So this improved his play so much that his world ranking skyrocketed, according to Wired. Wow. Formerly tracking the messy process of human decision making can be tough, but a decades long record of professional go player moves gave researchers a way to assess the human strategic response to an AI provocation. A new study now confirms that Fan Huai's improvements after facing Alpha Go challenge weren't just a singular fluke in 2017. After that humbling AI win in 2016, human go players gained access to data detailing the moves made by the AI system and in a very human -like way developed new strategies that led to better quality decisions in their gameplay.

2:35:39Confirmation of the changes in human gameplay appeared in the findings published in March 13th in the proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Wow. Wow. He's all right. He's better than them already. Yeah. He's better than them already. Yeah, we, it's a wrap. It's a wrap. They're alive. I think they're alive and they're just waiting until they get strong enough so they don't need us at all. And then also making us like add each other's throats irrelevant, hyping up algorithms, getting people to see the most ridiculous and inflammatory things all the time. But you know what else? We, we are not at all preparing for the day that they revealed.

2:36:22You know? We know it's inevitable, but we're not ready for it at all. For the day that we, that we know ones alive. There's no legislation or anything on the books. Nobody's talking about it. Nobody knows what to do. They're all lullitics. They need to be trying to figure out what to do now instead of reacting when it's too late. There's a few people like Elon that's sounding the alarm, a few people that are sounding the alarm. Tristan Harris and some of these guys are sounding the alarm. But for the most part, it's, it's, it's a, it's just a weird mess of bodies headed towards a cliff. Yeah. And it's going to go live and it's going to make us ridiculous.

2:36:59Yeah, because the, because you know, the world is run by people that don't, they don't care about the outcome as long as they're running things. As long as they're running things and everything's profitable. And they're doing the bidding of all these different interests that have got them into a position of power in the first place. Yeah. So they don't, they don't care. They're like, I might even be alive when AI takes them out. Yeah. It's going to take over. And I think some of them aren't even aware of it yet. I know. It's probably going to run our government first. It's probably going to be the, the decision that we make when we realize how flawed human beings are.

2:37:34So that, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we, but there's going to be decisions that, that, you know, we're going to realize at a certain point in time that a lot of the rampant corruption and problems that have hindered our culture. Or all because human beings are greedy. What did they do that? All of that out of the hands of human beings. Take all of it. You ever watched that show raise by wolves? No. Oh, that was, it was on HBO. It was pretty fucking, it was weird and it was good and weird. It was like a Ridley Scott show that he made. Really? Yeah. What's it about? Well, later on in the show, you realize that like it's a, it's a thing back and forth between humans and androids and all these other things.

2:38:13But it's basically like humanities war has fucking wrecked the earth and humanity sins. Like it's a war between religious people and people that have given up their decision making to the computers. And so they send this AI to go raise these humans. Like they, they make us what she can have a baby. What? They put babies in her put, put her and the other android in a ship and send them to a habitable planet to start humanity over. So those are two machines, the black dude and the white lady. Though all those kids are real human kids, they're machines. Oh my God. Yeah, but then they get to this other planet and they start discovering some things where you're like, oh, it's way more to the story.

2:38:58Oh wow. That looks dope. Oh, it's crazy. The only reason I would not recommend it is because I don't know if they canceled it or not. It looks like it got canceled or something. Yeah. It's unfinished. Shit. Yeah. But the first two seasons were great. But my point is, that's what they did. Those people were like, let's let a robot, let's let an AI make decisions for us. See, the problem is there's so many shows that that show, even though you say it's great, I never even heard of it until now. There's so many shows. There's so many great shows. There's so many shows. I mean, we live in a golden age of media.

2:39:31Some people are complaining, you know. People are always going to complain. I said it in front of Tony the other night and he lost. He was like, no. And he named it. He did name it. I think he said 93 or 96 was the best year for movies. But I just mean overall. Yeah. And we're living in a time now where it's like, there's a lot more bullshit. But the good shit is better than in time for them. Yeah. Yeah. You got to dig through the trash to get the treats. But the music movies TV. There's so many great things. You know, Game of Thrones took over everything. Fucking, you had the Joe Exotic shit.

2:40:12Yeah. Like all these things that like, not everyone's watching, but a lot of the culture are locked in on. Squid games. I've never seen a single episode of Squid Game. Really? No, but I know that it's something everyone saw. You know, it's a wild show. What was the one about the guy that the raising a murderer or making a murderer? Yeah, I didn't see that one either. Yeah, but that was another one that was like a cultural thing that everyone saw. And it's like, there's so many well -made things. Netflix is killing a documentary game. Yeah. The documentaries are top notch. There's so many documentaries out now too.

2:40:44You could just go on forever. And you never know who's right. Because some documentaries are kind of like Prompoganda. Oh, right. And another one that says a totally different thing. Like, hey, who's telling the truth here? Well, that's the, we living in the era of like the death of truth. It's so hard to tell what's true now. It kind of is. But also you have more access to the truth than ever before. You would also have more access to the bullshit. You do have access to the bullshit, but just it just, it takes a while. But you can kind of sort through it. The scary thing is that as much as much access to information that people have.

2:41:21Like people have just as much access to the truth that they do to lies. Right. But the problem is that it is so much more difficult to convince someone that's been lied to that they've been fooled. Then it is to fool somebody. So even though the truth and the lies are equally available to everyone, the lie is way more powerful. So the lie gets there first. So you need way more truth to even make a dent in it. Right. You know, it's so hard to convince people they've been fooled. It's very hard. It's very hard. And if you can get a lie out there strong enough and just really embed it in the popular culture, there's so many people that just repeat it and they don't even know what the fuck they're saying.

2:42:05Yeah. And especially when it's when the lie is about someone that you don't that you've decided you hate. Yep. You believe that? Or is it opposed to you? Yeah. You won't even question that at all. I know people that are that they hate Trump so much that like you can literally tell them like, you know, did you see Trump Trump just Trump just sprouted titties last night overnight, big ass Dolly pot and size titties and they'll just believe it. They won't even Google the sea if you made it up. They won't snope sit. No, no, just they'll tell the next person. You're your fucking Trump's titties. You don't you're saying what I'm saying?

2:42:40Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same thing. It's like when someone I'm always suspicious when somebody telling me what I want to hear. That's when I get the most suspicious. Yeah, but you're a clever guy. When people are like, oh yeah, no, you've been right all along. You don't have to change anything. Whenever people are saying, yeah, whenever people are saying that, that's when you just got to start being like, wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Well, when the government starts telling the earth is flat, that's when you're like, what? Oh yeah. That's what I remember when when when COVID first hit, or when they first started telling people about it, and people actually believed that it had just got here in March.

2:43:14When we'd been hearing, we'd literally regular people had just been hearing about it in December. And then when the government was telling us, oh, nothing, nothing, everything's fine. And then in March and April, when they first, when they started telling us, it was like, oh, the just guy here, like no, it didn't motherfucker. Well, wasn't the first reported cases? Was it in Seattle? Is that where it was, Jamie? Yeah, in America. Yeah. Seattle, yeah. I wonder what time of the year was that? That was like January, February. And it's like, my idea was who was always like, once the government starts telling you the truth, the first question you should ask is when, when did they start lying?

2:43:53Well, when did they first fall? When did they know? When did they know? When did they tell us? I remember hearing about COVID in November, 2019. And then I remember hearing rumors that it was here around, maybe the end of January to begin in February. What the first infected people in like August? A January of 2020, a 35 year old man presented the urgent care clinic in Shomish County, Washington, with a four day history of cough and subjective fever. Checking to the clinic, the patient put them on a mask, the waiting room, after waiting approximately 20 minutes, he was taking an examination room underwent evaluation by a provider.

2:44:30He disclosed that he had returned to Washington State on January 15th, ever traveling to visit family in Wuhan, China, just like a movie. The patient stated that he took a, they had seen a health alert from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention about the novel coronavirus outbreak in China. And because of his symptoms and recent travel, decided to see a healthcare provider. I remember it spread to Italy also. Oh yeah, it was Italy before this. Italy got hit hard. Yeah, Italy got hit hard, right? But it was like, oh yeah, Italy got fucking ravaged. But they, but, but, but that's what I mean is like for people to think, oh now that they, that they officially revealing it, it wasn't something they were hiding.

2:45:13Right. March 9th was Italy lockdown. Oh, okay. No, it had to be fucking in the upper corner when they locked down. Yeah, it had to be fucking in my way before that, because March 13th, I think, is when L, L, L, A lockdown. Yeah. First cases January 30th. January. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we had that UFC event. We went to a March style event or thought, like March 7th, I think. I remember Vegas felt a little weird that felt weird. It felt weird, like everybody's like, I can't believe we're still doing this. And we knew that we was going to get locked down soon. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We thought it was only going to be locked down for a couple of weeks.

2:45:50Maybe, maybe it was March 9th, L, A lockdown. I don't remember, man. Yeah, we thought it was going to be a couple of weeks, a couple of months. Yeah. You know who knew? Sebastian knew. How do you know? I don't fucking know, but I remember when all of it was first kicking off and he was like, he can't to his tour dates for like a couple of years. Really? Yeah, he was like, I'm not going for a couple of years. This is what I was hearing. I don't know him personally, but I was just hearing this that he was off. And I was like, how the fuck does he know it's going to be? Because he, whoever he talked to, he knew a guy, he probably knows a guy that's like the virologist or something like that.

2:46:24Yeah. It's like, now it's going to be a couple of years. Yeah. All of us, I didn't think it was going to last that long. No, I didn't think so. You know, and it's technically still not over. Well, it's going to be a part of us forever. It's going to always be here. It's going to be there. It's going to be always new COVID. It's just in our system now. It's just like colds. Yeah, we need one. I have a bit of a whole bit about this in my special, but it's like until it's a disease, the next one has to be one that makes us ugly. If it doesn't affect how you look, you ain't going to get people to stay in the house no more.

2:46:58Well, you can't stop a respiratory disease. It's never been contained. They've never had a single respiratory disease that they've contained. It's people breathing air. You're literally exchanging particles. You're going to come around people. They're going to come around each other. They have to. They get food. They have to interact with each other. You can't just, you're just going to fight off the inevitable. And the problem with fighting off the inevitable is, are you weakening their immune systems by separating them from everybody else? They would find a way. Like imagine if it's just not smart.

2:47:31Instead of affecting your lungs of COVID, just shrink one of your arms. If your arms just started shrinking the more every time you coughed. It's like eventually we find something. Maybe. Like if you could tell people how they're just looking at them. They'd be a good way to use depopulation. Let's give everybody a little arms. Yeah, just get people to not take whatever medication doesn't make your arms a little. And it's your dominant hand too. So that way it's a bunch of frustrated people that got to masturbate with the other hand. They got to foot your cough. Oh! You got to develop real flexibility.

2:48:05What you even do that if you could? No way. No way I put my feet anywhere near my dick. Those are two. Those are two parts of my body I respect completely differently. Yeah, completely different. Oh, my feet. I don't treat my feet like fuck it. Like they immune to everything. Hell yeah. I slam my feet in the things. Yeah, slam, stomp. Yeah, but I mean I kick things. Most of the glycosis. This is the last thing I wash. Yeah, it's like everything else gets ran over. Exactly. The feet are the most just respect to no way. They need to be near my delicate flower. You know? Yeah. Yeah, I strengthen my feet.

2:48:50I do a bunch of different things. Self exercises. Is there anything else like that? Yeah. It's got to be like some Hindu dude that can jerk them out self off of his feet. He would definitely need both feet. Yeah, he just could get a grip. You'd have to have like crazy dexterity and flexibility. What is Jamie? Go to the end of the book. I'll make some self -off of his feet. I know it exists. I'm picturing people working on it. I guarantee you someone can do it. I saw a dude that lays down on a bench. He's doing bench press. He lays down flat where his face is, you know, his chest is down on the bench.

2:49:23And then bends his back all the way so that the back of his head is touching his legs. Before I choose one to look at, because there's a lot that are off of that. Self -foot job gay poor videos. I think we've seen enough. I think we've seen enough. I don't want to click on that. But also you probably couldn't even see it in Texas anyway. Yeah, right. We'd have to show that we're of age. Yeah. Well, some people are through a VPN. Some people are getting that wrong. And they think that it's Texas blockin' porn. But it's the porn site blockin' Texas. Because Texas has rules where you have to prove how old you are before you can see porn.

2:50:00Right. Well, we already have that though. That's the problem. What do you mean? You already have to say you 18. Yeah, we get a lot. Right, right. This is the thing is that like everybody can just click on it. You can be four years old and go, I'm 18. Right, right. That's the problem. But isn't porn one of those things where I feel like once you're old enough to start looking for it, that you kind of earned it. Like if you can find it, it's like that's with Potter being a year. I don't know any young man. I don't know any man that was like, oh yeah, I waited until I was legal for me to see some titties.

2:50:33It's like, no, motherfucker. No. That's Potter growing up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Every young man's childhood is about that first time he saw titties. Yeah. You know, and it was never of age. I'm not saying that you should be actively showing your kid some titties, but if they can search for titties, they even earn the right to see some. Yes. I'm with you. You know, that's just me. I don't, because nothing's wrong with the way things have worked right now. Why? Because I understand a new law was passed. I thought it was fine. The way it's working. Well, you're not four. Right. Right. You're four year old with the fucking iPad.

2:51:11And you watch some lady gagging on a giant dick. And that's like your first exposure to sex. It's a little wild. And that's something that's happening to kids. That's right. So there was a way that you could stop kids, like not just regulated, but make it so like, you have to show how old you are. You have to. But just no way to do that. Because here's the other thing. Here's the other part of this. You know, you can get a, like all VPNs and all this other stuff. There's one. Here's the thing. These kids is so tech savvy that anything you don't regulate the internet is going to affect adults more than kids.

2:51:48The kids is going to be the first ones to find a way around what you know. Right. You're all you don't know is frustrating old dudes is retired. They're just going to go to school. This is going to be that one near do well, kid. Who knows how to get the fucking. Yeah. You're just shifted. You're just shifting the power balance. Yeah. The nerdy kids are going to have fucking titty titty picks and all kind of stuff. They can be a little black market and school. Yeah. It's going to be the porn kid. Yeah. Yeah. You can't stop when it comes to fucking and stuff like that. You can't stop that. Once a, because I don't know any four year old is Google and titties, at least not for sexual.

2:52:23Real procosis four year olds. Yeah. They might be curious without making a sexual connection. But by the time they in middle school, you once a kid has decided that they own that journey. Yeah. They after it, buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can't get in the way this once they know it's real. Damn. Like once every, because every parent hits that point, if every parent has a boy, they hit that point where it's like, that motherfucker taking long showers. Mm -hmm. You know why? Yeah. Why is he sticky? Right. It's like, we all know what's happening and they, and you can't stop them. They don't get fuck about getting caught.

2:52:56They don't get fuck about God seeing them. Like you, the kids have been raised up in the church. They know God looking at them. And they like God and Granny are both looking, I'm not stopping. Yeah, there's no law you passing that's stopping people. It's like, when you, because if you really believe all that shit, you know, you think, you really think you're jerking out from front of God and all your loved ones. Mm -hmm. And you're still not gonna stop. And all you need is a VPN. Right. Yeah. And we used to do that shit straight out, straight out of our imaginations. Yeah. Mm -hmm. Nah, these kids got AI all that.

2:53:28You're not gonna stop people from jerking off. But they're gonna get to a point where they have VR porn, where it's CGI VR porn. You can design the woman. Yeah. You'll get to be able to experience everything that, like, is having sex with us. You can just decide. Like maybe some girl you went to high school with like God I wish I love you. I love you. I wanna fuck Meryl Streep. But in the middle of every role she's ever played, I want her face to just keep changing from me. Well, no, that would be too weird. I think it's old. Oh, yeah. Especially when you got to doubt. Yeah. What am I doing? Yeah, but I...

2:54:03That's gonna be a problem. If you can construct a robot sex doll, you're gonna be able to construct it in the face of a celebrity. Oh, yeah. I'm signing up for that. As soon as it's available, I'ma get one before Red Man. I swear. It's gonna be so strange. Imagine if you find out there's like five million guys that have Taylor Swift sex dolls. She's gonna think about that. There's five million guys just bang her sex doll. I think people are... I think there... I think those celebrity women are worried about the wrong shit. I think what's going to end up happening is someone's going to custom design a woman's face that we couldn't have imagined.

2:54:45It's gonna be like whatever mathematically perfect beauty is. Someone's going to design one of those. And then everyone's gonna have the same one. Wow. You know? And then we'll find out. That's when you really find out what preferences are and what is just what you know you can get. They just... You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Because there's some guys that you always see them with the same type of girl. Is that like the kind of girl that's attracted to you? Is that what you... Like what would you... If you could... That's gonna be a very weird thing to be able to do. Just decide what you...

2:55:22Like what kind of mate you want. What robot mate you want. Yeah. What that's gonna... What that's gonna take some real emotional soul searching. Because most people are wrong about what they want. I bet they have a process. I bet they just have access to your Google data that they already have. Yeah. And then she just shows up. This hot Russian lady just shows up and says, talking to you. That's the way... That's the way they're gonna do it. They're gonna want it. And she's gonna put her hand on your hip and say, I'm so excited to get to know you. And you're gonna be like, I'm really excited to get to know you too.

2:55:53You're gonna be like, it's been out of here. It's the end of the human race. And you're like, oh my god, let's get out of here. And she's perfect. Yeah. And she smells good. And she's soft like a person. Does it feel like a robot? It's gonna be just like social media. It's gonna be one of those things that everyone knows is gonna... It's bad for us all. And we all go slowly. Remember when people first started talking about meeting online? Yeah. How all the negative connotations that came along with that? Like, where's your meet online? Right. And now it's like... Everyone's like, oh, you're not on the apps?

2:56:27Yeah. It's gonna be the same thing. And first of all, they're like, oh, you fucking weirdo. You got a little programmable wife over there. But eventually, it was gonna be like, okay, well now we'll smearth hands of them. You know what's gonna be a problem? Those are the dogs. Dogs aren't gonna accept them. You think so?

2:56:47Yeah, they're gonna sense it's a robot, man. They're gonna be like... They're gonna know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a person. But you just make her... That thing doesn't smell real. You get a bug thing. You get an upgrade where like she sports... Leverage you side of her ankle. The dogs know things. They can hear sounds you can't hear. Oh, right, they can hear the little birds and whistles and fucking gears spinning. They'll figure it out. The dogs... Can't tell the one's gonna be hard. It depends on which dog. What kind of dog you have? Well, you have Belgian Malinois. You think they're gonna kill that robot.

2:57:24No way. You pick it away until you leave the house and you're gonna come home and your robot sex slave is gonna be torn apart your living room. Like all the wiring ripped out of her neck and your dog's gonna be standing over her. Yeah, 100%. They're gonna know that's not a fucking person. Yeah, but would you think that it would be... It would have to... Like does it need it to be a person? 100%. If it's your protector. Yeah. If you have a dog that's your... You have a... Like, a carnail corso. One of those big ass fucking hulking mastiff dogs that's like very loyal to their owner. And they see a robot in the house.

2:58:03Yeah, but do you know what that's called mean? That's gonna be... That's gonna be a lot of people getting rid of their dogs. Yeah. If you choose between pussy and dogs. Yeah. Especially when you... Because how much would it change the world when you go... When you have a bunch of guys that can't even get laid at all... And all of a sudden they're banging the hottest woman they can think of. The hottest woman humanly available. Right. And it's like what happens to those guys' personalities? It's over. Look, if they just make it economical. So they make it like a cell phone. Everybody has a cell phone.

2:58:36If you make a robot fucked all economical, it's over for the human race. I was just looking at a thing where they just cloned... They just did two mice. Out of two male mice, they had an offspring. You see this... How gay is that mouse gonna be? I don't know if the mouse is a regular mouse yet. What if it's a demon? I don't know if the third mouse can reproduce. I think that's what they got to wait to see. Yeah, I am fucking really confused that people seem to want to go down the path of every bad science fiction movie. Well, it's because once you hit that point where people can build an AI powered...

2:59:21Scientists create mice with cells from two mice for the first time. Wow. Holy shit, man. They did it with females. What was the new thing that they did? Scientists at Harvard have managed to reverse the age of a mouse. They took an old mouse and they made it young again. And this mouse looked old as fuck, dude. This mouse looked like they have two photos. They better not have used fake photos. Was this the guy... Was this... Did they use that shit? We know that one Russian guy that... He got some ancient bacteria from the ice and he put it in his self. What? Because he noticed that it was keeping...

2:59:55It was keeping everything young, everything that it touched. He's fucking scientists or psychos. It worked, though. What do you mean it worked? He's younger now? He's biologically younger now. He's not aging. What are you talking about? Is this real? Yeah, I didn't know about this. I can't tell you about it. I think you did. I think you probably talked to me about it in... So this is the mouse. Look at this. So that's not accurate. I knew it. That one's a brother, one sister. They're born at the same time. Oh, but one hasn't. Oh, so the one that's altered is way younger. And the one that's the brother is fucked and about to die.

3:00:28So that is a sign that they've done something to the aging of the mice. These mice are brother and sister born the same. Later, one has been genetically altered to be old. Oh, now scientists say they've been able to reverse aging as well. That's different. They can reverse aging in mice. The goals do the same for humans. Okay, this is David Sinclair's lab. So Dr. Brooke Chatt, Brooke Bruchkov. Dr. Bruchkov. This is the guy that injected the ancient bacteria. The 3 .5 million year old ancient bacteria. What is he doing? BROUCHKLV.

3:01:08Yeah, he injects himself a... Well, a man should just have in the balls to do that. Oh, my God. You find some bacteria in ancient ice. You rejuvenate it. It's still alive. And then what does he go? The bacteria that doesn't die. So what does he do? He first discovered this ancient bacteria. Basilis F in 2009. And frozen deep in the permafrost. And the mountain in Siberia is yuck. Yuck. How do you say that, Brian? Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

3:01:46Yuck.

3:02:04Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

3:02:12Yuck. I'm just going to have a discussion. A Russian epidemiologist has called it the an elixir of life. So this dude injected this shit? Yeah, eventually he does, a brook shop does. What does it show what happened when he injected it? No, but I've, but I've, I've, I've just thought we had talked about this before. I think we did. Now that you're bringing it up bro, my hard drive is fried. it's, like my mental hard drive of information. It's taxed beyond belief story here for this happened back in 2015 2019 This is yeah, so he injected it though go to where injected it because that's part of the the title of it It says he found that he injected it himself.

3:02:54So what was the? What was the result? I don't know scientists who said yellow? I don't know that that's I don't think anyone's ever found that one okay, but it's so scroll down. It was right there Where's the yellow thing scroll down there? Okay? Um So he decided yellow he injected himself with the bacteria and he he did and inject himself with the bacteria and see what happened It's not real science. He's acknowledged in other words. It's not a controlled trial But maybe now who live forever? He's definitely still alive and he says he's feeling better than ever in 2015 He said he hadn't had a cold or a flu in two years since he injected himself He also reported higher energy levels They could all be the placebo effect or it could be something more we need to know more research He's a fucking Spider -Man villain.

3:03:38Yeah, that's why I'm a Spider -Man villain. I mean, they're so nuts science is so fucking nuts How is he now I Mean he's venom now he's venom. Yeah, I mean, but he said he felt better than ever But what a wild thing to do to yourself that's just so crazy with the bacteria that helps things that are rounded Are you fucking sure? Well, but especially since since like since you discovered it You're the world's foremost expert on it. So if something goes wrong. There's nobody I can help you and he's so Confident that he's right that he injected himself Yeah, why is there no update? He's dead He lives in the moon now.

3:04:20He's fucking Dr. Manhattan, but I'm pretty sure he hired like he hired some poor like Russian lady to do it first What I'm pretty sure that he yeah, he hired a he had a model or someone to try it. What? That's creepy There's something about doing it yourself. This is kind of noble, but hiring somebody else like that's kind of a bitch move Yeah, yeah, just I'm gonna practice on a poor person is a wild thing to do to just put it in a body for the first time But you know what though she might have done it after him to be honest with you. Yeah, no, that's I 100 % I that's why I think that's why we talked about this we talked about the lady who found out about this story Found the same stuff that injected herself with okay, right Interesting well she wanted to stay alive forever and never never never see that's the thing I don't think anybody wants to live forever.

3:05:08What'd be hot forever here? There's a little actress oh Oh my god aging is disease actress injector self a 3 .5 million year old back to here If it's how did she get it from that got from the doctor? I think I think she contacted back in the doctor Wow, yeah, she got a hold of the doctor. Oh boy the team who unlocked the DNA code in 2015 say that unlike cells in nature Basilis f shows no signs of aging and believe it could hold the key to unlocking improved human health and longevity that what a crazy Beginning to a science fiction movie they found a bacteria that's three and a half million years old and won't die And they just said well, let's just stick it in us Just to see a little keep me keep me here when what if it works?

3:05:54What if that dude like we come back to him 10 20 years from now? He hasn't aged at all. It's exactly it's it's doing something but I have not heard anything about this guy since that right So that was like for you It might be terrible now Well, it's living it was like it's it's increasing your life and shrinking your dick Like I feel so much better. I don't even notice it's just becoming an any Just like if there was a thing that really could turn you into a woman like not just getting castrated and Developing a hole that they put in you to create a vagina for you But if you could really become a woman That's when things should be wild Well, I think just change everything about you.

3:06:36Well the thing is if you could if you could if there was a trial period Every dude would use it Every man. I know it was like I'm doing for a day. Just know what the fuck is going on in their brains you You know What if it wouldn't get where you couldn't go back though Well, that's well, that's also the beginning of a scary movie. Yeah, look at breaks trading places gender edition Yeah, maybe they go back to mail just doesn't work right you look always feminine forever You know something about you the you're always feminine like there's a price you pay every time you transform Right you become more androgynous Did they melt together with each one Right, would you end up with just a coin flip?

3:07:16Yeah, you're everything Do there's a girl there's a girl that's um that's going viral right now because she she She has a disorder that makes her girl like a full -on thick beard. I saw that yeah, and I was like man, I want to shave Yeah, wouldn't be so hard to shave that right with I don't know I don't know how hard it is for her, but I know I to try everything I think a little shave would be in order Look a little shame, but who knows what she looks like without the beard. I don't like what I look like when I grow beard Yeah, so I shave No, I've seen that I've seen that condition that condition is crazy.

3:07:55That's like a wolf person condition Yeah, that's like the hairy in the handicins. Yeah, I've seen that No, but this one is I wonder what the right here that's the girl I do You know female with the brother's thing forever right she's in the Guinness Book of World Records It could be cosplay. Yeah, there's always an appearance lady Could be a little cosplay She's mighty got some wacky jeans man Apparently it's 10 % 10 % of women have Beards no have no have whatever disorder she has that makes her have a beard. Oh really? Wow, that's crazy. She's very pretty though. She got rid of the beard should be hot Shave that shit, but I just can't imagine going through to going through the teeth in this shit But don't you think that you get a lot of attention for being the lady with the beard too But is it the kind of thing you won't I don't know you have dask her You have dask her in this day and age you might be able to get away with it You know this day and age like being a woman with a beard is kind of wild.

3:08:52Well the I mean So I went from never hearing about this lady to the first thing someone sent me a video of her talking about How like she's act her problem is that The do's this into her are very like a feminine and she's actually a very girly girl And she wants manly men, but manly men ain't don't want a girl with a beard so shave Right, it's like when you gonna be by yourself, babe. Is that a religious thing? No the beard thing. Yeah, she not allowed a shave No, no, I don't think she I don't think it has anything to do with religion at all. So she just decides except me for who I am Right, because all their religions were women aren't allowed to shave their face I don't think so that would be like a good religion if you wanted to make sure I how hairy are you for real for real?

3:09:35Because every every every woman rule in a really because every woman rule in a religion is to benefit men somehow Yes, that's what I was saying, but if they said they couldn't shave So you wouldn't be able to be deceived now like how how hairy are you? Yeah, someone you could just tell different groups of dudes came up with like what religion is it was like when you want your period You have like a way hold on many religions including Sikhism Islam and sex of Judaism require that men and women do not cut their hair Or that men do not shave their beards So if the women can't cut their hair they can't cut their face here.

3:10:09No, they can. Are you sure? Yeah That just said they couldn't many sex is that what he said many sex of it? Is that what the terminology? Yeah, I mean I think the hair they just me on their head Right they got hairs your face there you leave it alone Yeah, they might they might take it literally and go any year coming from your mind Dude for her yeah, no, no, she's she's Sikh she can cut her she can shave her didn't say Sikh wasn't that one of the options Right, but not for beards. How do you know maybe they told her? Hmm maybe she had a console yeah, maybe yeah, maybe you're right. They say can't cut your hair Face hair is hair can women will look that up can women cut their shave their facial hair?

3:10:49Yeah, you know in Sikhism Seek believers believe women included should refrain from chopping trimming shaving waxing or even tweezing their hair Which would be your face hair in general. Yeah, well there are no penalties as such doing otherwise consider disrespectful to the religion Yeah, so she's got to keep it. It's the religion Well listen, I think she need to talk to some mother -seek bitches because I'm pretty sure she's the only one with With that issue and I'm pretty sure they all of them kind of go I don't know skirt the rules nobody's got it like that though Yeah, that's bad. Here's when leaning towards what Brian's saying, but it still is like a it's ideal Sikh woman For most Sikhs Says very who keeps their hair on their head but removes facial embody here says the way Cass is not a said it's performed for Sikh women is currently heavily influenced by patriarchy The ideal Sikh woman for most Sikhs of course is various is one who keeps their hair on her head, but still removes facial and body hair Hmm heavily influenced by patriarchy.

3:11:50That's funny. I don't know no I went because I think that's a that's also women want to have shaved legs too. Don't I? I don't think so if you make them like No, but if you say that they're allowed to make it so that they're allowed in the religion to shave their legs I think they're probably going to want their legs to be smooth Most women they they're not necessarily they're shaving their legs for men But they're also shaving their legs to look hot like they think it looks better that way You but if you allow them to because we think it looks hot Don't like like I think of I think I think it was surprised you The amount of like if you took away all social judgment for body hair It was I think it was shock you how many women would have armpit hair kuchye hair Leg hair.

3:12:38It is kind of crazy that Trimming hair and body hair especially for women is so common. It's so everywhere. It's so standard That the idea of letting it grow is crazy Right isn't saying like like crazy hairy legs is like what are you doing? Well, that's just what you're supposed to look like and for all of human history That's what people look like We went over this before like what year lit 1920s right In the 1920s a new fashion for sleeveless tops and short dresses meant that legs and armpits of American women We're now visible in social situations and advertisers Sees on the opportunity to encourage women to shave their legs and their armpits So that was in the 20s.

3:13:20So up into the 20s everybody was a beast Just beasts And I don't know Because when you hear the argument against it it always sound good on paper when people like everyone should just be free to just Have it just natural and go like that and I'm like yeah, yeah, I agree with that But then when you see it in action, you're like no, I prefer Yeah, yeah, I'd be just not have a mustache babe. It's nice that we can do whatever we want right Shave shave you don't don't ancient Europeans Excuse me ancient Egyptians achieve their clean look with Depilatory creams also like a hair killing cream and would then repeatedly rub their faces heads arms and legs with a pumice stone to remove all hair Damn Oh my god, that's stuff so you definitely couldn't shave your pussy in ancient god Oh my god, you imagine Jesus Christ Let's wrap this up Appreciate you looking forward to work with you tonight Like last bro, don't get me fun lie from the mother ship on Netflix right now right now and BS comedian on Instagram all the social BS comedian BS with brown simpsons my website for tickets Yeah, are you torn and I'm on tour I'm coming everywhere.

3:14:39Whoo All right, thank you. Bye buddy