#2169 - Protect Our Parks 12

25:16It used to be a bone -on in the 1940s. Follow the trends of boner. That's what I drew there. Trends of boner. That's what I drew there. Oh, we got something. No, we don't. Yes. Blender. Blender. It's a good trend. As soon as the fucking viagra was invented. It's hilarious. It's like a good word in the bedroom, though. You know, if you're like, I'm so hard, you can't be like, oh, you like that boner? It's not. Yeah. It's just talking to girls. I got a fucking boner. Yeah. That's a drunk. You couldn't throw some bad. Nice boobs. Nice boobs. I got a boner. Yeah. He's beer drunk. Really? All you can do is a dick and cock.

25:48Pretty boner. I didn't want to say it. I definitely hit a boner in there. You drink that butt light, you get a boner. But if you drink in like 25 -year -old scotch, you have an erection. There you go. You have a hard cock. I'm doing an erection on my heart, man. Yeah. I'm moving around your glass. I've got an erection. I can't take myself seriously. I can't. It should be like, I have a hard cock right. It's gross, dude. My wife likes the insults that I feel bad. Shit, this last time. No, no, no, no. You told me this before, I'm sorry. But, you know, she's like, say shit. Say mean shit. But I'm a guy.

26:19So I'm like, oh, you have retard. Yeah. That's not hot. You don't pay your share of the rent. You can't cook. That's funny that she likes that. Loves it. She's a wacky lady. But probably real nice, how it's out of that. Very nice. That's where she gets it out. Bizarre. She could maybe go to the gym. Yeah, be nice. Take a fucking yogurt class. Yeah, that's it. You have to be fucking a white hand -to -hand combat where you're fucking. You get it out. It's weird. Remember those self -defense classes? I felt like every lady took one of those in the 80s and that kind of went away. Well, I thought he was the neogay in the balls.

26:58That was it. I went to one of those. I went to one to watch to see what they teach. It was all nonsense. The only thing that they take notes. Yeah, no, this one I was teaching. I was like 21 at the time. I wanted to see it because it was at Boston University, I think. Which is where I was teaching Taekwondo. When I was there, they had a big blue suit. They got a big blue suit. They were like training German shepherds. They would yell, stop. Then they would drop and kick them in the balls. That was one of the moves. Grab them with your keys. There was moves where you take your keys. You put them through your fingers, like brass knuckles.

27:37Back then people had a house key, a fucking mailbox key. You had a bunch of keys. You could put them in there and punch people in the face. But there was no substitute for actually learning how to fight. This is not going to work. None of it will work. They just got to get out of that alley. I had explained to this girl, she was like 100 pounds with tiny hands. I'm like, you should never try to hit a guy. You should learn how to not get hit and how to move. But you're not going to hurt someone. You're too small. This is nothing you do about it. Break up call. They're getting this head that they're going to be karate experts.

28:10They're going to be beating up people. And I'm like, you don't have enough mass. You have to have a certain amount of mass to be able to generate force to hurt someone. I don't know. Lee Atavis is pretty beefy. I'm going to be like a type of guy who hits his wife and then you go try to hit her and she can bob and weave. Well, that's where Lee Shia will get. That's where Lee Shia will get. Jiu Jitsu is the best sport for women. The best martial art to learn for women. Because you can be very small but still with leverage and using the right technique. You can choke a guy unconscious. I've seen it happen.

28:38Yeah, I've been told. My friend Felicia, she weighs like 135 pounds. She's a black belt under John Jacques Machado. And there was this guy who's like a porn star. He's to have a TV show on Showtime. And he was going to have this thing where he tried Jiu Jitsu with a girl. And she fucking strangled him like three or four times in a row. And I don't know if they ever even put it on TV. The thing was so embarrassing. Because you have this 135 pound chick. It's just manhandlers, dude, taking his life over and over again and letting him go. Felicia, she's the shit. Some girl, this bodybuilder woman, I watch a documentary.

29:10Who get paid on the side. She's talking about her. They get paid on the side while bodybuilding to like wrestle dudes and like throw them around. And guys love it. Top dollar. What's the real job? Is it really bodybuilding or is it wrestling dudes? It seems like you're bullshit and you're saying you're doing it on the side. And that's where you make all your money. Bodybuilding is the ad you put out. How much money do the women bodybuilders make? Compared to like women who are willing to wrestle crazy old rich dudes. I bet there's a lot of money in like old rich dudes that want to be humiliated.

29:43Of course. Where are they? Who are these guys doing? They're out there. A lot of our CEOs, these guys that you tell you jokes in front of at these corporate events. Those guys are getting like tied down, pussy and asshole stuffed in their face. They get their balls kicked. That's the new thing because porn has become so specific. Because like everything's just uploaded for free. So then it becomes like well I want to hire these porn stars to do this exact scene. And a lot of it is like burn all my stamps I collected for 40 years. It's not. But it's not just like with these old rich guys like some of them they make this deal with what they call a humiliated tricks.

30:22I had one of them on my show. Really? Yeah. And she will like get a video of them sucking a cock. She'll make him suck a cock on video and then send it to her. And then she will tell him she's blackmailing him. But it's all under safe conditions. And she will get him and he will send her $10 ,000 and she like still holds on to the tape. They, she does, they have like deals. Terrorized. Like she steals a certain amount of money from him. She can steal a certain amount of money from him and they're like she humiliates him. And she, like there's a thing that like these. This episode is brought to you by Robin Hood Gold.

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33:27Well now you know. Switch today at Visible .com slash Rogan terms apply, see Visible .com for network management details. Drich really powerful guys, the head of these giant corporations. Some of them, that's how they get their rocks off. They get their rocks off by being humiliated, but so they hire a professional. And the professional gets dirt on them, humiliate, makes them do embarrassing things. That's a great gig for a lady. Yeah, financial domination. Oh, Karen used to do this. The sexual fetus lifestyle activity. Karen used to do this. It was so funny. She would get a text that's like, hey, what are you up to?

33:59And she was like, you suck. Tell me some money. And that's what I got 20 bucks. Yeah, before early feds. I mean, for free. It's a lifestyle activity which is submissive is required to give gifts or money to a dominant. Yeah, some dudes out there just like to be dominated. Play ping. Play ping. Page Piggy. Whoa. Fin's up human ATM money slave or pay. Whoa. Pay pigs the worst though. Yeah. Cash piggy's not bad though. Cash piggy. Cash piggy. Cash piggy. Cash piggy. Cash piggy. I'll be a little cash piggy baby. Yeah. It sounds like Jackie Gleason used to call his host. I could maybe get behind the damage, but as soon as they're like, now suck some guy's dick.

34:43Like, hey lady, I'm not playing this. Some of these guys want dirt on them. You know, I think they're all involved in fucking corporate shenanigans and they're probably all criminals. I don't know. I just can't. And I get the nuts kicked. I can't. Yeah. I get so much. I get shit on. How do you find out? I don't get it. Is there an unlock moment where you're like, oh shit, that's what I'm like. Like an accidental knee punch, you know, I'm like, sorry, like actually. I bet a lot of it has come out of the internet. I bet a lot of it is coming out of guys watching videos and it's like, that's what I want.

35:18That's what I'm listening to. They start jacking off to it. Next thing you know, they're hiring somebody. I don't like any pain. It's bothering me. Yeah. How do you find the lady? How do you find the lady? Is that a good job? I feel like a lady. I feel like any lady. She finds you. She finds you. Like a fucking shaman. Right? Yeah, they find you in the forest. They dated a switch once. A hookah, what? Sub and dominant. Trans. And so it'd be like, you choke her and bad. She'd be like, cool. And then we're at a bar. She's like, how does that feel? You can't do what you think to me. This is so stupid.

35:50That's how you dated a fucking retarded psycho. She was like, like that. I'm like, it's fine. I can stop you at any point. It's just, um, yeah. Well, some people just like playing games. That would bother you to go, oh my god. What are you guys doing? I'm like, stop. If you guys at the bar and a lady grabbed my neck, if they're the fuck you doing. Of course. Fuck out of you. We're already fucking. Was she hammered too? No, we're just our trigger. She was trying to show me her side of it. And I was like, this isn't my thing. It's like eating ass. Like all eaten an ass, but if some chick tries to eat my ass, like you shouldn't be doing that.

36:17No, I couldn't agree more. Completely agree. That's just wrong for you. Yeah. This is bad. When you put your legs up, like a toddler, no, thank you. There's a fucking paper like that. No, we're in terror. We're in terror. We're in terror. We're in terror. We're in terror. We're in terror. You have diaper change. It's not pretty. I couldn't, yeah, if a lady put my legs up, I'm like, I'd spass. Oh yeah, and you got those big white cheeks. Yeah. With that red hole. Fuck you. You knew the one who got you fucking little gay ass eating. Turn it on me. It felt right. I have a thread in the turn. It's probably meant to turn it.

36:49I was like, I jogged today. This is bad. Also, I want to be like, hey, just Google Aureche fears ass. Oh yeah. It's fun to be a part of this. There's no need for these activities. No, no. You can't do it. They go too far. They go. What are these humiliatrix people getting shit on? Yeah. Regular sex is pretty good. And then you come and you go, I am good. Yeah. You went too far. Oh, that's why. Well, you got to keep up on it. You know, it's like drugs. Yeah, you got to keep going further and further. Yeah. Come up with my arm. I don't know. I don't know what it does. What are these people? Have you ever met anybody that's in this?

37:23Oh yeah, you know. Everyone's why you meet like a guy who likes getting pegged. Yes. That's a tough one. I can name a few. Yeah. Yeah. I won't. Fitz and I were on a road trip early. I thought you were going to do an early time job. We were on a road trip early in our career. Back when we would do road trips to do open mics. So we were headed to Rhode Island to do an open mic. And with this dude who did make it. One of the guys, one of the lost soldiers made it. The open mic days. He was telling us about how his wife shoves a 10 inch dildo in his ass. Yo. How much he likes it. Ten. How much he likes it.

37:58You never had a vibrator in your ass and like and everyone. It's like. Like you're wearing skips. Uh, derosa. Start with the pinky. I just remember us all being like, what did you just share? Yeah. Yeah. What did you just share? Do we need that? Can we go five? Why 10? Five's great. You're right. You might have been exaggerating. But he was opening up the door to this conversation. Like we're all going to, yeah. Cool man. No, thank you. I like a hard thing in my body. It doesn't belong there. I just don't want things behind me. I don't like that idea. You don't want to sit with the door at the end of the day.

38:30The audio is just eating a burpee. Like what a pussy. You don't want to love it either. You don't want it to be your greatest orgasm ever. True. With like a fucking vibrate. Mine be though. Yeah. Probably. That's everybody says. It's probably like a guttural fucking. That's what they all said. That's what they all said. And she just a whale. If you hit a certain fucking level of harmonic frequency that's not possible without something in your ass. What have I done? And you just bust. Yeah. Like heroin. You're addicted immediately. That's the problem. If you could find out like a spot in there that you could hit with like a vibrator and you'd come that hard.

39:11You'd be like, well, let me try it once. If it was under your arm, we'd all try it. Right. It's just hidden in the one place, the last place you'd listen. The most shameful part of your body. Bring it on. Yeah. The old butthole. No, thank you. So shame. Yeah. The finger is the gateway. So you got to watch out with the finger. Do you start up? They start with the finger. Yep. Do you pull up a guy's skin fuck to the ass please. They will magic thumb. When I was like 21 years old, I did a road gig and I met this lady and we went back to her place and she told me she goes, some gay guys used to live here before I did.

39:47I said, how do you know? She goes, because they left gay porn. I was like, what? And so this is the first time I'd ever seen. I knew that people were gay. Yeah. I knew they were gay, but I had no proof. Yeah. I had no proof of this activity. And so she puts it on. First of all, I left her apartment immediately. That's a shadow box. I can get out of there. If you hang out with her, I like, I gotta go. Yeah. This is fucking creepy. You went through kicks. It was like I was watching someone get shot. This is, that guy can't take that back. Like that dick is in his mouth. It's so intense. For the end of time.

40:22Well, that lemon party shot. You gotta pull that one out. Oh, lemon party. Yeah. It makes like, a couple of times that's that been sent. Oh. Someone goes, oh my god. You believe what Trump did? You're like, what? Oh my god. You gotta look. The one's the black dude, the San Francisco. San Francisco Chronicle. Yeah. Well, he's not had a real argument. He's going to make it San Francisco Chronicles. Oh, you're right. Stop it. What's going on there? What is that? What did you do? I think, I think, what is that, Jamie? I said, the lemon party, that's what happened. Go back to it again. Yeah. That's the lemon party.

40:54Good for the whole. It's such a knock. It was tight. This might be, my computer might be in trouble now. Oh, is your computer tainted? I don't know. You got a virus. You son of a bitch. You get a gay virus. All you have searches is the robot. You get a gay virus. They got shades. You get the Stavros virus. Well, the, the fat black guy with the huge dick. He took over the lemon party. That was like the new generation. Yeah. Yeah. That was it. Anytime there was like a crazy new story. The flatback dick. You can send that to your mom. The lemon parties. Go over the line. Go over the line. You can send that to your mom.

41:22You can send that to your mom. You can send that to your mom. You can send that to your mom. It was just a, she's singing a couple of trains. She's singing a couple of trains. Oh, geez. Rogues have a good bit about a broke back mountain that there should be a warning. Meat spin. Meat spins a classic. Which one's that? It's a fun one. It's a fun one. You've seen your friends do this. I don't know. Meat spin. You've seen your friends do this. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah. Man, I'm here. I'm here. Safe on that. Good, golly. Not too much. Yeah, like the tub girl. Is that kind of just for show?

41:55Sort of like when people post virtuous things on social media? That kind of does it all the way up? Yeah, that's just the right. That's the kind of just for show. They're only doing this for show. I'm so safe. Yeah. You know, I engage in these risky activities. Filming this. Like butt fucking in front of a camera. Yeah. Yeah, butt fucking without a camera is weird. You get that dick to maintain that circle. People do it. And do you pause and try to go the other way? Yeah, you got to pause. It's worth the other muscles. Oh. Do it in Australia because the other way automatically. I can't. I can't.

42:23I can't. I can't. I can't. Swing your back around. Oh, man. Well. Now this Spotify is okay with that. With what? The Dick Swinging? We'll find out. All right. I mean, Jamie's good. Nothing's been on the screen. Yeah, Jamie knows that. He knows. Okay. Jamie knows how to handle things. Everybody that's listening to this knows exactly what me, Spinn and Lemon Party. Yeah. We're not sure we're gonna be able to. We're gonna fool a couple people to be like, I'll look this up. What do they mean? Yeah. Well, it's a marine watching. Like, ah, come on. Well, dude, I remember the early days of the internet when this stuff was new.

42:55When you would get stuff like this. Like, you know, attachments. Well, yeah. But also certain websites. Like, do you remember style project? No. Just me. Style project was this wild website that had all the most fucked up things in the air. Yeah. It was our spot we would all go to. We're on. We're on. We're on just meat .com. Do you remember style project? I don't remember that one. This is still up. Yeah, I became friends. This is the website. Or it's just the porn site. Yeah, they sell it. This is meat and potatoes. Too much pubic air. Yikes. Quite a lot. Some guys are into that. So anyway, he used to be like all the most fucked up videos and photos on the internet.

43:35Anything fucked up that happened that you could find. People could make all the top videos. I trained. That was a fun way. It was a guy in a girl walking across the girl stops. The guy keeps, well, adjust. Boom. Whoa. Yeah. There's a lot of those. Can you do this when like Neil deGress, Tyson's on. Be like, oh, let's pull up those cosmos and just boom. He's been there. The census of Chronicle cosmos. If he wasn't on camera, he'd probably have a good sense of humor about it. True that. I was going to try another older one, but it's got that Texas. Oh, Texas. Oh, Texas. Let's go. Texas. Fuck no.

44:07No one of these. I tried last night. Yeah. This video came famous and then they let's go. Let's go. You got to search for it. Just get it. Let's go. Get Express VPN. X videos. Good. That's video works. They all work. You run into one. There's some rough ones on there though. Oh, really? X videos a little more wild west. I see. How so? Do tell. I don't know. I feel like. Yeah. It's kind of feels like you're on a rotten .com. It feels like. It's like Reddit where it's like the best ones will get shown to you. Yes. The Algono's you. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a pregnant 80 year old. Fuck. Now we're talking.

44:43Oh, yeah. That's gross. That's horrible. Did we get afraid to click on a porn style because it might change your whole life? I don't touch anime. Like what? Anime porn? You think that would get you? I don't know. I don't want to risk it. AI porn is going to get you. You know why? Because AI porn is going to manufacture the absolute perfect female. Yeah, I forgot. I saw it all. It's my ears. Got you. I cracked one to AI porn. I'm back. That's good. It's all done. Well, it's also zero karma porn. You have karma with porn. Come on. You. Those days are over. Well, no, they're doing a new thing with their making random like high schoolers into a porn.

45:21To shame them. Send me the link. Oh, like with AI. Yeah. Public public servants too. Here's a karma. Here's where I don't have karma with porn. 45 year old step moms get stuck in dryers and the steps unfuck some. Yeah. That's how you start. That's how you start. First of all, it's ridiculous that she's stuck in the dryer. Who would your hands off? Doesn't make any sense. You can get out. Who gets him laundry out that way by sticking your head in for it. It doesn't make any sense. Like how are you? How are you stuck? And then also once you get out, you don't stop fucking. You start sucking dick and you get crazy.

45:50Yeah. Those are fun. It's a fun time. Yeah. It's just like when you have like an 18 year old girl is going on an audition and she's sitting on a leather couch and this guy's talking to her. Those are like, jeez. She swallows hard. I can do this. You got to get to the mothership somehow. I mean, here they go. I talk to the kid. That's what it's like. He's such a skis. He's like, oh, you're such a good girl. What do you do? You're not going to have any of that. AI know actual people, but you will still have people that get addicted to it. That's where things get weird. Because then you don't think of them as people.

46:23You just think it's like, how do I get to the position where this girl's on the couch? Maybe I need to start my own thing. Maybe I need to be objective. Yeah, it fucks you up. It fucks people up. It fucks people up. Unless you ever meet a hooker guy, the guy who gets a lot of hookers and then them around a regular woman, I don't know how to relate to them. Really? Because everyone's for sale in that world. So then they're like, they're like, you're a girl from up and down. It's like, yeah, Jesus Christ. Jesus. Yikes. Yeah, some people don't know how to turn it off. What about I, you know, those guys also like to get shit on.

46:54Like, you're like, videos and those are the guys. Nice to meet you. We shit on me. That's a, that's a third day thing. I bet if you're like online today on websites, you can probably find someone to shit on you. Pretty. Oh, yeah. To 1970 was probably quite a task. Yeah, you get your ass beat. Yeah, the cops are going to whoop your ass for that. Yeah, probably quite a task before you could find someone who will safely shit on you. Yeah, the internet's a beautiful thing. Yeah, I put you in a fucking sale next to Jack Ruby. Well, what's the call? Two girls went cussed. Yeah, those one cop was apparently that wasn't real shit though.

47:25That was like ice cream. They stuck up that girl's ass hole. Yeah, that's why it looks weird. That's why it looks weird when it comes out, but you know, like a gag. Yeah, I've got to get it up there though. Yeah, it's like a fucking bass. Like one of those things used to like decorate a cake. Yeah, yeah, or start a fire thing in there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's cool though. Now you just get some like warm up and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Work your round your hand for a little bit. It's a little bit of a bit of it in there. Warm foamy goodness. Oh, we're whipped creamy. It's probably whipped cream. And then she dumps out this chocolate whipped cream.

47:59And they start eating it. Anyone else hard? And then they start throwing up at each other's mouths. That's, there's a, those were so many, that was like the first reaction videos. Yeah, two girls went cussed. Two girls went cussed. The, the Jewish reporter getting beheaded. Oh, slowly. And then the horse. Oh, yeah, the Jewish reporter. Oh, the horse. The reporter was from what year? Go for like, 2001, too. David. Epstein, something or. Yeah. I think his dad invented like, it was in one of those, uh, Jesus Christ. Bro, that one was so great. Because the heading didn't, it wasn't like you knew in the movies.

48:34It was, you just got through a quarter of my neck. I'm still screaming. Yeah, they're sawing. Daniel Pearl. Daniel. Uh, pearly baby. What is dad do? His dad did something. I saw him at Adam Curtis. Adam Curtis documentary. They talked about it. Yeah, except for the first time you caught a B .C .D .L .D. video on accident. Oh, yeah. It was an accident. When I was in high school, uh, one of our friends had barnyard beddy. Do you remember barnyard beddy? Yeah. It was like, it was a video tape was so grainy. We had like a copy of a copy of a copy of a VHS. And one of us had to like guard the door.

49:07So we were downstairs in like the den where the television was. And one guy had to stand up and try to watch by the doorway. In case someone came in. So you could stop them from getting through the door and like pop the tape out in time. Yeah. But it was his lady. She blew a German shepherd. Hell yeah. And she let like, uh, I think she let a donkey fuck her and a couple other animals. I remember that German shepherd lady because she had nice tits. Really? And pull her up. Yeah, his dad. She want to know about probably. Yeah, she went crazy. After she sucked a couple of dog dicks. Pretty what? Yeah, his dad won a Nobel Prize.

49:44Wow. Yeah, and then that was that was when I think a lot of people got freaked out about terrorism. Seeing that like, oh my god. They'll cut your head off on video just to freak everybody out. It's not just killing people. It's like a very specific thing they're doing. Probably a great dog though. That's the most chill dog in the world. Just fucking some hop on. Yeah. Going back and forth. We got two combos going on. Oh, sorry. I was on the dog, the German shepherd. No, it's only guy getting his head cut off. Oh, wow. What cross wires are we on? It's funny if you change top of the environment where he's in mid like, I got tags, I got tags.

50:17Oh, sorry. Boys of a terrorist attack goes down. You're going to want to be here. I'm going to your house. I'm going to be your house. We're not going to let you in. If I get in before you, I'm not going to let you in. What? I'm going to let you in. No, I'm going to get a ranch. We need to get a ranch before everything goes sideways. You'll need me to offer this as a sacrifice. Guys, guys, I got one for you. Leave us alone. We'll get you one of them. You want to be a ranch with a well and a bunch of animals. You need a bunch of chickens. You need food and you need water. Chickens will always give you food.

50:49Chickens will keep you. Chickens are easy. You get one egg almost every day from a chicken. Hey, that's pretty good. Yeah. And if you have a dozen chickens, you have a dozen eggs a day. Or at least eight. At least eight or ten. And then you have like, that's food. And then all the other food you get is a bonus. And you need water. And if things go sideways, that's real. You got a bunker? I have plans. I know. I have to plan. I got to assume you're not going to let me in. I will let you in on promise. Yeah, all you guys can come in. I just wonder if you're preparing too late. Like if shit goes down tomorrow, it's too late.

51:26Well, yeah, but you're. But that's what. You also those guys who built those bunkers in the 60s. And then just like shit. You don't want a bunker. This is why. Because if it goes that bad, you don't want to be alive. You don't want to survive that. If a nuclear war happens, you don't want to be alive. If you get to. They thought they'd waited out five years. You're going to come out to hell. Yeah. You're going to come out to hell. And the people that are going to be alive are going to be so dangerous. Yeah. Hey guys, I survived like new slaves. They're going to. Oh, we're going to rape you. They're going to eat you.

51:54They will 100 percent eat you. You ever see the road? Yes. The bleakest version of that. A little. But everybody knows that that's probably what would happen at least in some parts of the world. That's why it's good. There's a nuclear submarine off the coast of Miami. There's not just one. There's another boat. Another Soviet boat. This is great. Yeah. Why don't we de -escalate? It should be nice. It should be. We have a good idea. Do you see Biden signed some 10 -year deal to keep supporting Ukraine for the next 10 years? I did see this. What are we doing? That's so crazy. It's a lot of money.

52:24But it's also the whole thing is so crazy. All because of sun work there. Well, there's probably a lot of factors. That's the thing, right? Brisma. Yeah. But that guy's he's in court now. But there's a lot of other factors with like all the different. He'll be all right. He'll be all right. See a part in coming. I see a part in coming. But we've got two politicians guys in court. It's a wild time. There's just so many factors that are dangerous right now. Like, Palestine, Ukraine. There's so many different places in the world where like things could pop off and go real bad at any moment. And like, there's a steady clip of people dying.

53:02Oh, yeah. Like a steady clip of people dying in Ukraine. A steady clip. And at a certain point in time, if it gets to like, how many people has Ukraine lost? Let's guess. How many soldiers? How many soldiers? What is the estimate of losses in Ukraine? A lot of like non like people went back athletes and stuff went back to fight. Really? A lot of them are dead. A lot of them are dead. Like, Klitschko. What is it? Klitschko is not fighting anymore. No, no, no. Like, there's still a lot of them. Is he still in the war still? They would definitely know if they were dead. Oh, yeah. He's not dead. And Lomachenko went, he went and joined back in the army.

53:37It's pretty sick. Yeah, animals. I mean, that's defending, literally defending the homeland. Yeah. How many people have died in Ukraine right now? The thing is like, if this keeps escalating and Russia keeps losing people. MSNBC will tell you a million Russians have died in 20 Ukrainians. Talker will tell you 10 billion Ukrainians, five Russians. No one knows. Well, be careful. Isn't it weird how the liberals are in support of this war? It's all flipped. It's so weird. It's strange. But it's a lesson that everybody needs to know. It's not about left or right. It's all bullshit. It's about people in control.

54:18And people in control, they use all kinds of different methods to stay in control. And supporting war is one of them. Supporting war. Uh -huh. They just try to do it from the left or they try to do it from the right. But it used to be, it was the right wings that were the warmongers, the left wing guys, the pussy mongers. Right. That's what it's like. Clinton was a pussy hound. Bush was a warmonger. And blue collar was left. Right. And now blue collar is all right. Right. So, wacky time. Right. Blue collar meant like working class. Normal American. Yeah. The South was Democrat. And also, the conservatives like fuck, we're all show we got to fight against, but then it's like.

54:56And. Uh -huh. Fact check and not verify these numbers. And Ukraine treats the number of military deaths as a state secret. So the total is not officially known. Okay. The deaths of nearly 25 Ukrainian soldiers since the invasion. Oh, this is a November of 2023. This is a while ago. 25 ,000 Ukrainian soldiers since the invasion began by using open sources and put the total toll at more than 30 ,000. You got to get Zelinsky on. He's a star, fucker. He would do it. Why would I do that? He's hanging out with Cape Blanchett. Do you think I really want to have a guy in the middle of this? Like, dude, do you know what I mean?

55:33Where's the money going? Who's, who's, who's, is any of it going sideways? I think, is there any real like real account change? For sure, some is going sideways. You're dealing with regular people passing on. I think you can take a little bit. I think they're using their farmland as loans. I'm just buying all their farm. Is that what it is? I think so. Jesus Christ. We'll see. Because there are wheat. Yeah, the breadbasket, maybe you know what? Pretend that we know agriculture. I don't know anything. They got to start talking. The breadbasket. I brought a head one. Good for you. What do you mean the farms?

55:59Like, we get their... Ukraine. Ukraine is the breadbasket of the world. Well, like wheat? Yeah, they make a lot of wheat. Ah! We just stop eating that shit anyway. They had all that farmland and then they got starved by the Soviets. Whoa. Take your Ukraine's agriculture land. Yikes. The new report exposes the stealth take over agriculture land. This is from February 20th, 2023. Me and the open news. 23th on the same page. Wow. It's always... I don't know any. It's always about something else. It's always about something else. I always do. I noticed that point when we pulled out of a preciria and Trump was doing a press conference and he goes, I don't think he's supposed to worry.

56:34He goes, don't worry. We got the oil. We got the oil. I don't worry about that. He's just set it out. He's just a lot of the press conference. I was like, wait, I thought it was human rights. So if it was just like, no. It's always so much. It's like when your girlfriend's mad at you. It's always something else. Something else. That's wars a racket. That's that smadly butler book. 1933, this dude retired. He was in the military his whole life and wrote this book called Wars a Racket. It's all just about what he thought he was doing and what it was actually one of them being. Ukraine is the bread basket of Europe producing one of the highest wheat yields in the world but deep tillage and poor soil management has left its farmlands a heavily degraded state.

57:12But Monsanto will take care of that. Because of the poor state of Ukraine's agricultural land, a shift of regenerative agriculture has immense carbon sequential potential, sequence sequestration. No, no, no. That means sequestering carbon in the soil. It means like instead of like, sequestering like horses. Leaving a lot of shit in the air, the soil actually retains it and they get like zero carbon footprint farms in regenerative agriculture. It's like polyface farms does that. What was the other one? White Oaks Pastures does that. There's a few of them and what they do is they let the problem is not farming.

57:53The problem is farming the way we do it where you did like one giant field of one crop and like all these animals in a pen and all these chickens in a box. That's not how the nature wants you to do it. And if you do it that way you need a bunch of chemicals. That's how we do it. Is that black rock? Black rocks definitely buying that land. Oh really? And you can't have to imagine they buying everything. Good name for that. They're just trying to make money. Black rock. They're trying to make money. True. Anyway, they can't. They got a bunch of billionaires invested in them and like, come on. Let's see some returns, boys.

58:26Yes, let's buy everyone's house. That's that game. They're playing that game. They're playing the let's see some returns game. Yeah. And meanwhile, it's two wars. Two wars. And you're trying to protect parks. You fucking dumbass. You should protect fucking Israel. You need to protect Israel. How many parks do you think we protected with this park? Yeah. We did the one in Austin. They tried. They fought back. They saved it. Do you think we had anything to do with that? No. No. The point. Yeah, I think anyone protecting a park would actually hate the fuck out of us. Oh, wait. It's your out. Protecting a park.

59:00That is fucking nice. I think it's over the other day that we're like, hey man, I used to play tennis under the Williamsburg Bridge all the time. I appreciate what you try to do. Wow. Really? That's cool. Where'd you kiss him? I had a simp convention. I had him send money. He had me send him money. He had some gaga kissing under a bridge. You know, when there was a park here.

59:22Whatever, who bought it? How did they sell it? How did they steal the park? They said they have to actually make money. They made it up instead of having homeless guys super -hound all day. There was no homeless guys there. It wasn't there. Of course. Yeah, it's the one park in America without the 40 homeless guys. It was either river or it was like a different thing. Yeah, and this is just like fixing it with public funds. And then they'll sell it off when the public funds run out. Then they'll build the high rises of the present. Parker brothers. Yeah. So it's just like a slow theft. Yeah. It was like 3 ,000 trees that cut down.

59:54Oh. Yeah, it's not a little park. Not the trees. It's massive. It was the best place to go. It's not the fucking thing. Remember that amphitheater you're not born there? How is that okay? Who signed off? The big outside amphitheater. Yeah, that's gone now. Is that gone? Yeah. Good. That bomb there. Fuck that place. Who signed off on that? The Blasio and Carlene Rivera. I feel like you don't know the fucking stuff. No, I do. Fuck this one. You know, maybe he's shit. He knows how to protect the park. I'll tell you that. I don't know if it does. I just wore shirt. That's awesome. I just checked the park.

1:00:30You heard the movement. You did. You're the worst guy to be the fucking spokesperson. I really am. I know nothing about anything. I just read one headline. I'm like, no guys, it's important. You gotta recycle. Well, it wasn't for Teddy Roosevelt making national parks. Like, who knows what they would have done with like Yosemite and Yelosdon. Yeah, they would turn all those fucking beautiful places in the condos. Bass Pro Shop. They don't hack down. Fucking chick filets. Such a park would not exist. Yeah, it had been gone a long time. It's amazing. They killed that park though. It's amazing that people let them kill your park.

1:01:04They say they got to redo it in case there's flooding. I think, didn't they have to. In case there's flooding, it's killed 3 ,000 fucking trees. Didn't they have to kill a black neighborhood to make a park? We need to protect neighborhoods. Well, that's not true. What did they do that? No, this was a cross -report. Oh, really? Oh, they did. Yeah, that's right. They took over a whole neighborhood. I think they had to tear down some black and immigrant neighborhoods. Oh, they definitely did that for Dr. Stadia. To make all of Central Park? Probably the upper half. Wow. I thought it was already...

1:01:30Actually, it's probably the lower half. It was small back then. Oh, it was a Hooverville give -it. Hooverville give -it. Shanty towns. Built during the Great Depression by homelessness. Yeah, just homeless pets. Clear amount. And so they cleared those folks out. No, it was before that. There was a... Wow. Whoa, look at that. So Central Park is amazing. Every time I'm in New York and I get a hotel that overlooks it. Oh, my God. It gets on. I walk around there. It's incredible. It's all we got for trees. How sketchy is it, though? No, it's not. That's just all changed. Well, it did change. Like in the 90s or something.

1:02:08When I moved to New York, I was worried about it. And Neil Brennan was like, I don't know if they have bars in my windows. Just pro. Look at the stats. You're talking about an old New York. But I'm talking about now with the immigrant crisis. I think it's Central Park? I feel like you don't see it. I feel like you don't see it in New York, the immigrant thing. Oh, they're out there. They're probably people that I know that live there. They're probably... You see a big difference. They're usually dressed like fucking Elmo. Like Elmo. No, that's true. Yeah, they're in fucking Times Square dressed like a fucking sesame character.

1:02:36Oh, China, big money. Yeah, every now and then you catch that helmet coming off. And you're like, hey, look for those. Yeah, look for those. That's something you're at Disneyland where someone caught mini -mouse, taking a cigarette break. That's the best thing I've ever seen. Oh boy. He's the boy. He's got a mustache. He's fucking taking a cigarette break. And kids like, what the fuck? Yeah, what do you do? That's a good way to cross the border. No, it was going to stop Pokemon. They're like, no! A lot of them are Uber Eats drivers. I think a big one. That's a big one on the face. You can be an Uber Eats driver and you don't have to have any kind of license.

1:03:07No, nothing. No, they're driving. You drive in New York. You're dressed on a fucking sidewalk. It's an electric one that's silent. That's right. They're driving a bike and you're like, I think I'm all clear. Oh, yeah. I thought of a video for the group. Did you guys going to like it? Yeah, it's wild out there. Those poor guys though, those poor Mexican guys are on a bike in the winter. Oh yeah. And everybody's at home. You know, it's the rain. And the Americans are like, Mexicans come bring me my food. I don't want to go out in this. I don't want to go to the doors down. And then chicken parm.

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1:06:06No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I only read an app on article. 37 people were assassinated during the general elections all throughout Mexico. Say you were not so bad. Yeah, so it's all sorts of different roles. City counselor, mayor, this, that. So during the elections, 37 people got assassinated. Not like suicide. Not like suicide. Our president is just naturally Biden's on the way out. In office. So kick it, he's running again. What's not something that president died in office? Not of his assassination. Oh, it's a good question. Holy, it's a wrap. The guy with the pneumonia. Yeah.

1:06:42Oh, that got everybody. It was in Harrison. Grover Cleveland? No. Tapped was fat. Tapped was a big dog. It was a big dog. It was something about Tapped. Tapped was fat. It was a big dog. Tapped was fat. It was something about Tapped. Tapped was fat. It was a big dog. Now he just, he looks like a normal guy. What do you think the odds are of Biden making it to the government? No, it's just Chubby. Yeah. What do you think the odds are of Biden still being on a ticket in November? He's not coming off the ticket, is he? They're going to slide someone in. They should have done that already. I feel like they would have done that by now.

1:07:11I don't know if they can keep this up. There's been some latest ones. Some latest gaps. What are you doing over there, buddy? I'm just trying to find this bull hitting this lady that you're going to like. Oh, I said it to you guys. The one that got loose. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, I'll stop doing it. And it's like, I'm proud to be an American. Oh, well, for the rest of us, I'm going to go. The sauce playing well. I'm proud to be an American. We're at least done. No, I'm free. And the bull jumped over the fuck you. Yeah, it's in the group, yeah. It's in the group. It's in the group. It's in the group.

1:07:42They picked up that lady and just kept by her. Crushed a lady that was just standing there. And the proud least hit. I got my nachos. She's wearing a red shirt. Oh. I thought it was fine. I completely forgot what I was googling. What was I googling? Dementia. Who was the president that died in pneumonia? Given his inauguration speech. Ring. Harding. Harrison. I don't know why I'm saying Harrison. Harrison was like 1841. 68. This is natural causes. 1923 and 25. Did he die in office? Harrison Taylor Harding and Roosevelt all died in office. I think Harrison was the one who gave a speech. He was like, I'm going to show everyone.

1:08:20There was like 30 degrees in raining and he fucking died. Whoa. He got the inaugural speech. Whoa. They were the long speeches with those friends. Maybe one of you would die. If he lived in 1841, there was no medicine. You might want to die too. Those guys will always give like three hour speeches. And get shot. Not going. Yeah. You're linking give like when they were doing debates, you did like six hour debates. Yeah. Like in doubles debates. Like Chappelle. Yeah. They're really trying to hash it out. One month in office, cut a cold, developed in pneumonia. April 4th, 1841, he died. First president died in office.

1:08:54Those were the days. They don't have had emergency. And with him died the wig program. What's the wig program? The wig party. The wig party. Yeah. What's that? The wigs was Democrats were Republicans and wigs. Wigs? The wigs. They didn't know nothing party also. I think so. Who cares? Jamie fire up that bull hitting that fucking lady. Yeah. You see that Karen going after that black dude in the ghetto? The who happened? Some black dude like ghetto, which black dude is like, like burger and up or whatever on his front lawn and some Karen's like, you know, you're not on gay night in this neighborhood.

1:09:24And he goes, get that fucking camera off my face. And she goes, it's my constitution right to fill, he just goes and punches her. Really? Whoa. That's pretty funny. Holy shit. There it is. So this is the bull out. This one is already out. Oh, bull's lady. Oh, bull's lady. He's got her on the hook. Oh my god. She's doomed. You can see the phone. Oh, the real people in the decides I shouldn't know. The real bull escaped the ring during the sister's radio. But if you see the escape, the escape is what's exciting. She's just talking to her friend. Red Bull. Yeah, she's got out. Good, but I know what she get it when it first got out.

1:09:57That's something that hurt. Yeah, it's sad. Yes. But what makes me laugh is when I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free. And I'll pull this like, oh, fuck it. Wait, that was just actually playing. That was just actually playing. No, actually playing. Oh, what is it? Oh, orgid. I don't want to hear these people yapping. There's a video where it just shows the bull doing it. It's harder to find the actual video you want once, like, dumb to Google and, you know, always escape the video. I can say to you all the clips and everything. The bull escaping has shocking video. I know.

1:10:31There it is. Right here. Give me some volume. He's got a plan. Shutter from the beginning.

1:10:40Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, shit. Wait, wait. There's a great What the fuck? Listen for the What the fuck. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, she's wearing a red shirt. You're right. Oh, that's not what I was going to cross another dude. Oh, yeah. He ran around for a while. Oh, my God. What the fuck? What the fuck? Oh, never. Damn. God damn. She's like, oh, no line of concessions. It's just a hilarious that that's the song that's playing. Yeah. I'm proud to be in America where at least I know. Fucking level. I got excited. He was the rocky theme. Oh, fucking God for it. He got out. He was like, where's that bitch? His name was Party Bus.

1:11:33Party Bus. The Bulls called Party Bus. That was an Oregon. You know, Oregon is all like a red state and then Portland. Yeah, yeah. And Eugene. The rest of it is like. The rest of it is like rural hunters and shit. That's most of America. Colorado's like that too. Louisiana. Colorado's like that. But these places, the cities get so populated that they just overwhelm voting. In Colorado, they just reintroduce wolves. And the ranchers are like, what do you do? What do you mean reintroduce? They reintroduce wolves. They released wolves in Colorado. I'm for the first time. Wolves used to live all over the place.

1:12:13We killed them because they're a real problem. We killed those. We killed those. We killed out of here. Yeah, but the wolves are a real problem. They kill kids. They kill people. They kill dogs. They kill all your livestock. If you don't control the population of them, they're fucking dangerous. The Soviet Union and Germany had a ceasefire in World War I to kill wolves. They were in the middle of killing each other. And it was, their wolves were killing so many people. They decided to have a fucking ceasefire. And then they killed wolves together. And then they went back to killing each other.

1:12:45Damn. Yeah. Or pal, that's how scary wolves are. And these fucking jackasses just released them into Colorado. Because they're amazing. Because if you live in some beautiful neighborhood with like cement streets, you don't have to think about that. There should be wolves. There should be wolves. Wolves are incredible. But you don't even know what a wolf is. That's the little red riding on. That shit's real. There's a reason why there was in every little kid's book. Because they ate people. They ate people. Wolves ate people. They ate dogs. So is an allegory to stay stay with fuck away from them?

1:13:16Yeah, they're fucking. Fucking dangerous. Wolves are fucking dangerous, man. Gators aren't going anywhere. I had a friend that got surrounded by wolves. Yeah, I was just kidding. He killed an elk. And the elk where they were, the elk died was like right next to the wolves' den. Uh -uh. And so they went to retrieve the elk and the wolves started circling them. He told my friend John Dudley. What? He killed two of them with a bow and arrow and his friend killed one of them with a rifle. The wolves kept rushing them. Dudley Moore. Just imagine. So what do you do? He killed them. He killed two of them.

1:13:48He just ran and killed one. And then they fucking ran off. Because wolves luckily don't have an understanding of how many rounds someone has and a rifle. Because they were out of bullets and he had like one arrow left. And there was like ten wolves and they killed three of them. It's a bad way to go. Bro and a dog. He's like, he can't read it. It got real close. They were running at them and they were shooting them. Probably the wolves you got one in your sights and there's another one behind you. Yeah. Oh yeah. They're clever. Well what they did was they stood there back to a tree. And so they're like literally standing with the old tree back.

1:14:24We got to get rid of these trees. Bark. Barked Norman. Bark. That's the real reason for the park being down. They're going to reintroduce wolves in New York City. Oh, that would have been a really high server park. Can you imagine that running all through the West Village? It can climb trees. That's actually a good battle. All the other bombs versus the fucking bulls. Oh, that's not bad. I'm going to listen. If the immigrant population gets too dense, that's a movie. It's pretty much a coliseum, right? They're mobo. Kind of the bombs. That's right. Find them like it's a lion. Well, that's it. They do it.

1:14:52It's always the same results. That's it. They brought in coyotes a long time ago. Coyotes are in New York City. But they're a problem too. Yeah. They're real brown. They'll eat your cat. They'll eat your kid. There's a guy in Woodland Hills. The video of him. His kid getting stolen from fight coyotes. That's good to know. Yeah. Good way to get rid of them. A little baby. Like a toddler. He didn't go away to his baby. Yeah, well, there was no abortion here. He grabbed it and started running with it. And he chased after the coyote. And the coyote drops the kid and like, fuck. Oh, he saved it. Yeah, he saved his kid.

1:15:19Ah, bummer. But, geez, normal. Yeah, more. Very expensive. That type of thing is not funny. He's just trying to be shocking. Is that a video that the alligator killed in the old lady? What? She's walking her dog right by the, you see him like the, it's like a log coming fast. And then so lady calls like, they got her. They got the lady. It's like, I don't know. She's gone. Oh, that's horrible. That's horrible. When I was a kid, I lived in Gainesville, Florida. And there's all the gators all over the place. And a lady's dog got snatched up while I was there. This lady was walking her dog by the water.

1:15:50The dog's like sniffing around. And this alligator just jammed out of the water. And grabbed the fucking dog. Also, dogs will go, they'll see the alligator that go right up to it and bark at it. Right. And go like, oh, this doesn't work on. Should this little white like poodle -looking dog? The alligator just snatched it right in front of everybody. Damn. You know, you can only kill them by shooting them right in the top of the head. It's the only way to kill the alligator. There's. You can stab it, kick it, shoot it, tease it. Nothing. Won't do it. Wow. Got to hit it right in the noggin. You ever watch Swamp People?

1:16:18Yeah, you pull it up on the boat. Just execute. That's not totally true. People bohunt alligators and you shoot them through the ribs. Shoot them through the lungs. Oh, really? Yeah, I can't be the only way to kill it. Well, that's all these guys know. You can cut it in there. There's a couple of different ways to kill them. I mean, I agree. Yeah, yeah. They're so tough. They're so tough. They blow it up. That's true. They were around before the dinosaurs. While the dinosaurs existed, alligators in some form, at least crocodiles in some form were alive. They say they never die. Like if you just let it live, it'll just be real.

1:16:48Yeah, they just keep getting bigger. Wow. Yeah. What the fuck, dude? It's like Trump. Can't stop. You can just get bigger. Try to arrest him. You can't even be just got on. Get on. Yeah. So I started doing tests, doing some growth hormone, taking a lot of creatine, doing body weight squats and fucking dead lifts. And he would die. So he Trump starts playing in kettlebells. He gets off fucking McDonald's and die coke. He's dead. Probably. Probably lived in 78. Yeah. That's amazing. God. It doesn't hurt so fucking old. Everybody's so fucking old. We looked at the other day, the founding fathers, how old they were.

1:17:27Yeah, they're 28. 18. That's right. Yeah. One of the founding fathers is 18. That's why they were like, Ben Franklin was 80. He was 40. Really? He was the old white wigs. Yeah, they weren't that old, man. It's crazy. And the people that we have run in this country are old as shit. Why? What are we doing? What are we doing? Nobody wants to do it. You don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. No young people want to do that job. Unrelated. They have no like understanding what it's like to be living. But give RFK a shot. He's ripped. I like off K a lot. I like off K a lot. And then I was taking a shit this morning.

1:18:01I was looking at my phone and it was RFK talking to like two birds on his porch. Oh no. It's got a raven. God damn it. That raven don't film this. He's a falconer too. I look, I get it. I like it. I like it. Made me like it. I like those birds. I think they're cool birds. Come on bro. But what's he saying? Like, vaccine shit to the birds. No, he's like, I'm just kidding. He feeds the birds and they become his friends. He's being friends with birds on camera. Don't do that. Don't make me nervous. I like him. I think of I think he's clearly the most sane of our off. But he talked about with talking to birds on the porch was I don't know.

1:18:37Is there a possible way that he could win? No way. No way. No chance. Not this time. He could start it over again for the next one right? Yeah, but it's an as an independent. Can anybody really win? No. Not the system we have. It just won't allow. And not a candidate. He's going to get clipped around the family. Right. But is it just that they won't allow it? Or that no one has ever really hit the kind of popular. I think it's like you even notice it. It's not easy. Yeah, he could win. Right. He's already big. But it's like member UHF. None of those UHF shows could be as big as. Oh, interesting.

1:19:12The two to two to 11. Good and healthy. Damn, you went old school. You had to have more freedom with that men. Yeah, he's too young. There was like a secondary channel system. Yeah, we're like many hill was on. Damn. And it was all the two of them. I know. Yeah, that's Dr. Who was on there. Dr. Who. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's your old start track next generation. Your old two TV. Oh, man. I was going UHF. It's UHF. But those could never, even if they were the most popular shows, it was out. People just didn't go to it. Remember dark shadows with Barnabas Collins? No. No. There was a vampire show that was on UHF.

1:19:46Wow. Is that public access? Is that public access? No. It's not. It's just like not ABC or CBS, but it wasn't cable either. It's kind of like AM. Yeah, it's like AM radio. It was like shitty local channels, like local Boston channels. Yeah, that's right. You have ultra high frequency radio for those air transmissions and television signals. No, these are for everything. Bro, you used to have fucking, you put tin foil on your thing to make the signal come in better. Mm -hmm. People at all these wacky fucking antennas. So you have to have all the room. It's the all purpose sacrifice. Like someone's got to hold it.

1:20:18Because if you're not touching it, we can't see the game. Yeah. Yeah. You have to hold the thing in place. And some guys who get these bomb ass antennas, you'd go by Mike's house like, look, Mike's antenna. Oh my god, this TV must be crystal clear. He gets, he gets shows for me and Mar. Bro, I remember the first time I ever saw a satellite dish was bigger than this fucking table. Some dude had a satellite dish and his backyard. Yeah, what are you doing with this? He goes, I get TV from Japan. Whoa. How are you getting to see this? Did you ever watch him Rick and Morty or do you just like this?

1:20:49This was like a long time ago, man. This isn't like the 90s. This guy had a giant ash dish in his backyard. He was getting like international television shows. But he's not watching any of those shows. He's still watching just fucking. I don't know what he was watching. I just know this dude invested in a fucking dish that took up like, you got to piss. One eighth of his backyard. Damn, I do. The dishes are all over. You go to the roof in New York. There's like seven dishes right there. But those aren't those usually small, like the direct TV dishes. Not the smaller. The funny thing is, he's just like that big.

1:21:17You see like just a concrete shack, but they got their dish. You know what? You just announced the, they just announced those starlink setups that you could take in a backpack. Like it's like a size of a laptop. So anywhere you go in the world, you could take one of these starlinks, set it up, and you will have wireless internet where you could stream 4K movies. No. Yep. High speed wireless internet, the size of a backpack. So you know, he fucked that car ride in Africa. He fucked a tribe. He fucked it up. He fucked it up. He wants kids. I know that. He likes kids. But. No, no, no, he wants to have kids.

1:21:52Elon? Yeah, he's got a bunch. Yeah, that's a bunch. But I'm not saying he can't say he likes kids. No. You know, up to this day and age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had to be clear. He went to Africa and gave him the internet and they fucked him up. Oh, it wasn't Africa. It was the Amazon. Yeah. On contact America. Yeah, they started whacking off. Yeah. They're gonna happen. They're not equipped. We're not equipped for it. They're definitely not equipped for it. What's crazy is this tribe does not even allow public displays of affection like kissing. What? And then all of a sudden in WhatsApp messages, they were sending porn to each other.

1:22:21And so the tribe leader was like, what the fuck is this? Yes. Because they were all just sitting around scrolling on their phones. Yeah, I mean, why? Because you're not. If you just discovered porn, there was no porn. And that's something that's porn. Right. It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. You give someone a phone, give them a connection, let them know porn drill. I mean, when the iPhone came out, it was, right, can you get porn on that? Right, the porn. I can get in the internet. Can you get porn on that? It was the first question anywhere to ask. That's what we do. That's back when it was like, you could go Wi -Fi and cellular.

1:22:48Cellular wasn't good enough. Right. You couldn't really watch YouTube back then. It was just too sketchy. There was no apps for that stuff. But it was like, I could go on, you know, bangbus .com, and something like that. Yeah, well, yeah. It's the only get one. Party bus. Well, you know, those cave drawings have dicks. Like, they're doing porn then. Oh, yeah. Oh, there's a bunch of old porn that exists in like, ancient Egyptian porn, like, hyperglyphical porn. Like, they're watching the ticket off. Like, people get a bone in people. Ancient Greek porn. Like, dude, it's a big heart, dicks, banging girls, doggie style.

1:23:19Yeah. But was it like, let me show you what people are doing. Was it for, like, eroticism? I think it was for eroticism. Yeah. Yeah. Who was it, like, pottery, Jamie? Who was bringing that up? It wasn't Brian Murr or Rescue. Do you remember what it was? Was bringing up, like, all the Egyptian, oh, French dible. Wasn't it, Flint, dible? That's a big, huh? What got an air in there? Turn. He's an archaeologist. Flint, dible. Turn erotic papyrus, oldest known depiction of human sexuality. There you go. But that's a depiction. It's not really, like, porn. Is that people boning in that picture? Oh, look at that.

1:23:49That's what it looked like. Animals boning. They all have dogs. Yeah. There you go. I mean, look, if you only lived to be 20 years old back then, it's probably all people thought about. Like, get your nuts off before you get your head dropped. I got a fuck. I got a fuck. I got a fuck. I think you fucking slaughtered by the neighbor. Oh, what a hellscape life must have been like back then. I know, but they were probably happier than us. No. That's nonsense. I don't know. Not us. We're having a good time. Banged up. Yeah, but who the fuck is that was more fun than us us? Well, that's different. We're living a life.

1:24:20But we're alive in the same time. Like, this is what we're doing as possible for other folks. In other jobs, in other ways of life. Like, but the whole thing is like finding great groups people having a good old time. Chuck Wiles this way. Yeah. It's good. That a baby. Give me a moment, my life. We can bring back America. We're trying. It's not looking good. We can bring back to the song, dude. We got the song. Oh, hurry up and back. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. I think it's time to get a little razz. I think we need to get... I need that bond, please. Oh, no. We got double. We got double eagle bonds.

1:24:53That's a bad idea. What is this? The beginning of the career. Look at that. Look at that heart on. That's a ridiculous dick. Where's the dick? I've seen yours. You're all right. Thank you. But that seems like you would have heard somebody. Yeah, no spenus. You got a hammer. Thank you very much. We didn't have a cold punch, dude. Joe's. I saw that. My dick evaporates. Of course. That thing is still a... Good for you, Joe. It says on it on the side, which I thought was weird. It's gonna be a chilly beer. Contractual obligation. What? Have a drink. On it on the side of my car. It's part of the deal.

1:25:27To wrap the kettlebells. Oh, man. We got the car. We got the car. Wait, it's out. Oh, shit. I'm done. Here we go. It went one time. We're still number one, dude. We are number one. We're number one, even if we lose. True. Fuck yeah.

1:25:57It's totally cold. Oh, my God.

1:26:04That's fun. Hell yeah. We're back. I'm tired of people saying America sucks, dude. Well, what's going on there? We're just being gay lately, but that's all right. This is what it is. This is a declining empire. No, it's not. We could come back. We're gonna dip a little. We're gonna come back. I just... I see videos all the time people using this fucking eagle at the barbecues. They still know America rules. Oh, America rules. Also, good or not, country. Good or not, country. No, no, no, no, no, no. We rule. We're the best. But the world's fucked. The civilization's fucked. I don't know. We're getting a little weird and quefy with the...

1:26:38China's buying all our farms and our real estate... Very dangerous. Digital control. All of it. Very dangerous. We're gonna get to a point in our lifetimes where... We're gonna make a choice between AI or no freedom. Come on. We're gonna make a lot of fun. AI or no freedom. What do you mean? AI is gonna govern things or... You're gonna have human beings governing things and the tightness and the grasp that they're gonna have on your ability to do anything is gonna be so great that all freedoms will be gone. Innovation will be stifled. Giant corporations will control everything and they'll act like totalitarian governments.

1:27:12They're already trying to do that. They're trying to silence people on social media and do all kinds of things to obscure facts and put out bullshit narratives. They're doing that right now. And they have the power to do that. And if they get bigger, they're gonna do it more. Yeah. America. But you know, I don't think this though. It doesn't... Throughout history, everybody's always thought this. Right. Yep. No matter what, they've been like, this is it. This is the end. And this is what we're done. That in the 50s. They were living life. Well, that was they just got done. That's right. They won the entire world.

1:27:41But they had a nice chill moment. They churned it over a bit. It was like that two years after gay marriage was legal and the gays were like, all right, we'll calm down now. We saw in a Syrian tablet. There was an Syrian tablet from like 2 ,900 BC. And it was talked about how the end of the world's close and everything's falling apart. And back then, those guys' shit was falling apart. Yeah. And when you look at, watch, think of it any time throughout history. It's like... It's actually look around, everything's stuck in. It's all going to shit. And you look around, like, it all looks pretty good.

1:28:13And then we went back on other shit last night. We had a great show. We had a couple of cocktails. We had a lot of laughs. We did bottom of the barrel for a half an hour, shitting that. Yeah, that's wrong. For a long time. We had so much fun. But also, you know what's funny is they definitely did this exact same thing back then. He's got three drinks down. Yeah, three, watch out. And... A liquor here. That's right. I see it, one shot. That's Ron White tequila. I know. Just Ron White stuff. He says this number one. I believe it wouldn't have been that. No, that's not true. He's lying to you. I agree.

1:28:47There's no hangover in this tequila. That's not true. Ron doesn't drink it. Oh, it's a miracle. It's an elixir. Yeah, exactly. Major elixir of life. No, yeah. And he said it hard to heart with Ron White. Said you got to switch a silver tequila to change your life. And he goes, it did change my life. And I'm like, Daryl so you're an alcoholic. And that changed your life. Daryl so fucking, don't you dare. It's switching to silver tequila. Change your life. And Ron White, wait. Now, boy. It's just disdain in your voice. Yeah, there are rules, dude. Don't you dare. Don't you get in his head that he's an alcoholic.

1:29:18Because he will stop drinking. Because that's drunk drinking. I take it back. John, I take it back. I didn't mean that at all. You had the best drunk. He's Austin's newest resident. We must defend him. You got another one. We got another one. Durosus. We got another one on the team. I love Durosus. Okay, one of the firemen out there, whatever you get, one of those guys, by shades. Security guys. You think those are fire guys. You can go grab them. Go right, we're not there. I don't want to lose anything. I bet you have to pee. I got nothing. No, you're throwing a shot. You want Aris? You want to wear Aris?

1:29:43Thanks. Yeah. Do you feel more comfortable this way? I just, yeah. It's a little hidden. Yeah. I don't hold podcasts with them with Dylan. Yeah. Big crazy square sunglasses. Yeah. The ladies wear. Oh. Yeah, it's nice. If you wear those, you hide. Yeah. You talk some shit. It's fun to stare at checks in New York with them on. Oh, you're such a creeper. The way he said it. Ah, dude. Jeez, what's that go see? Coming out of a tunnel. Coming out of a little stare. A sharper skirt than right back out of a tunnel. I remember when you had a hit the mustache. Yeah. I wanted you to do that today. But you said no.

1:30:16It's actually a bad idea. I didn't say it. Yes, it's not. Oh, we do have a trimmer. Michael Jordan doesn't. No, we do have a trimmer. We do have a trimmer. Michael Jordan. No, he could do it. I have one once on a podcast. Legion of Skinsider wear a Hitler mustache of all their pubes. Oh. Dave Lewis and Big Jack. That's not as nice. That's not very fun. I agree. It was not very fun. I didn't like that. Do you think you finally spun the wheel? I spun the wheel. It was either goldfish. Do you think it's ever going to be a time where the Hitler mustache is coming back? No. Same with Adolf. Adolf's fucked, too.

1:30:46Adolf's fucked. Adolf is out. Adolf is. Adolf is bush. Look at that. There we go. All right. It smells so bad. You can smell a different thing in their pubes, too. Who are the best smelling pubes? Dave. Ew, you like Dave's pubes. I don't like them. It's just Dave's smell as bad as Moses. I heard you liked them. You said they smelled good. God is it. You. God is it. God. You said they smelled like fresh basil. I lost the bell. Oh. Oh. Wow. You look like it. I couldn't breathe. Yeah. But in all fairness, you did take a shit in a tupperware and fucking opening up on stage. In front of them. Shitler.

1:31:22That's right. Shitler. Shitler. I got good one. My friends called their mom shitler. They would, there was three brothers and they would chant. They would go, ma, they're shitler. Oh my god. Fuck you. Stop it. And then one day they spray painted shitler on the side of her work band. Oh really? It's a bit much. It's pretty funny though. See? It's going hard. Well, yeah. Those guys are animals. Yeah. That's a good time. This is a guy that's going to have a crime is committed. Does the first guy's had questions be an animal? And by the way, those guys, that goes in the hate crime stats. Even though it's just, no, we were, we were, we were, anything like that.

1:31:59Well, that's an excellent example. We were out and, and then we would drive the van. We were kids. And when they would go to work, we would take the van. We were children driving this van around. That's true. And then we would take it off. We would take it into like a field and just drive it around. And then one time I was, I wasn't in it. And I watched them hit like a hill and the entire bottom of the shitler van fell out. I was like, holy shit. Run, run. We put it neutral and pushed it back into the driveway. I love it. And then nothing happened. And then mother shitler came home. Oh no. She started the car.

1:32:34I was like, what the fuck's going on? Oh my god. Well, that was, you kids were feral back then. You just did crazy shit. I remember one time I got blackout drunk. I was out with my friends all night. They brought me back home. They put me on the porch and they shot me with paintballs. And they shot my whole front. And my house and my dad came out in the road. But he had like a non -flash bag and he flipped out. Remember donuts? You guys do donuts. As soon as the snow is just going to love the whole house. Yeah. Go to parking lots. Do donuts. Park lots or a football field and then just wait for the cops to show up.

1:33:04No, that's a snow road before fucking gay ass global warring. We've got a real snow day. It's snow, real snow. It's so great. You guys not getting much snow at all in New York anymore? No. No, the whole last year we got almost none. Real? Last year there was a little, I think the year before there was zero. No snow? No, it's real. Or like a quick dusting. But no like shutting down everything to this. I drove by Lake Travis out here. It was the big lake. It's like 40 % capacity. Yeah dude. It's great. What do you mean? It's gone. 60 % of it's missing. Oh, that's a bummer. Bro, it's nuts. I know it's fun to be based and red -pilled on these podcasts but global warring might be real.

1:33:44It didn't snow for fucking five years. Here's the thing. It is definitely a real thing. Yeah. Secretly? Wow. You went with no music. Yeah. You guys are having an conversation. It's definitely real. The question is like how much of it is because of us and how much of this green deal stuff is just born. It's like a bull shit where people are trying to make money and control people. Well, that's all. Yes. Because both things are happening simultaneously. They're like, can we choose that one? Yeah. There is some sort of a change in the climate. But then also when you look at the level of carbon in the atmosphere, it's like the amount of it is not that much.

1:34:22I don't think it's the major issue. What is the issue? The world gets hotter. There's a never -estatic temperature for earth. From 65 million years ago to today. When they do core samples, it does this. All throughout history. The question is how much of an impact we have on it. We know we're having some impact. That's what they know. There's just no fault totals for Central Park over the last, I mean, that goes back while. But these are just the last 25 years. 2 .3 and 7 .5. Those are the lowest two. Those last two years at the bottom. But it's been a little bit before. I mean, but yeah, 2 .5 in 2019.

1:34:582006. Yeah, it's low there. 2 .8 just a couple years ago. 2 .6 in 2006. Oh, that's just January. You're looking at this. 0 .2 in 2011. No, no, you're looking just a month. The totals are on the right side. Oh, sorry. Yeah. 2 .3. Yeah, it's been high. It's been low. It's been up and down. It's not your black guys. It's nice. If you make some crazy decisions that are going to destroy the economy, you make some wild decisions that are going to destroy the economy in an enriched giant core. This episode is brought to you by Trigger's new lineup of grills that the all new Woodridge series is packed with technology and comes in at a price that won't break the bank with a new fully digital controller app connectivity, a convenient grease and ash keg and an accessory rail to hang tools and spice racks and so much more.

1:35:47It's the grill that can deliver wood fired flavor for years to come. No open flame to char or barn food. Just real wood flavor. Learn more and shop now at Trigger .com and remember to use the code Rogan for free shipping. Creations. But nothing changes because it just keeps going up and down. You got to be fucking careful. Yeah, these egg heads are not in India or not. They're going. It's all over. Right now. And their economy is going to grow because of it. That's crazy though on environment. What are you talking about? They just built 200 new coal powered plants. Oh, I thought they were cleaning up all their pollution.

1:36:24You're talking shit. They're making new coal. Because it's so bad. We got to do something here. They figured out some ways to mitigate that and they're also developing gigantic filters so the size of an apartment building. Yeah. I read the China coal plant thing one time. It said they're making a bunch but they're all smaller. Yeah, whatever. Come on. Like, tiny one, my friend. Yeah. More efficient is all I mean, like smaller. I'm sure. But it doesn't matter. They're still making coal plants. Like coal plants, no matter what the fuck you do. You're burning coal. You're releasing particulates. And that shit gets over cars.

1:37:01Where was it in Indiana? Is that where it was? We saw that documentary on this one area that has three coal plants within like a 30 mile radius. And these people's cars have like a thin black -suddy layer on them. So you're breathing that in. Yeah. You go jogging outside. You're just taking in particulates. I mean, my family's from like the coal region in Pennsylvania. It's rough, dude. Centralia. Bro. You ever hear about that place? Never heard of it. It's still on fire. Yeah. A coal mine caught on fire. We've had the videos on the show multiple times. It's been on fire since the 50s or something.

1:37:34Yeah. What? I've been up there. It's fun to go up there. It's just an abandoned area. It's like a silent hill. It's fucking kind of scary. The coal caught fire. If you're in the ground. If you're in the ground, I'm scared, though. And there's so much coal that the coal stayed on fire forever. I don't get scared. Bro. The Palestine Ohio, didn't they have something? No, that was a spill. That was a railroad tracks. Yeah, that's bad. That wasn't even a problem. Dude, don't worry about it. Fuck. It could burn for another 250 years for the exhaust. The coal supply. Centralia. Centralia rules. Want to see a video?

1:38:05It's fucking nuts. There's like holes in the ground. Smoke is coming out of the ground. It's just a gritty, abandoned highway. They've abandoned everything. It's pretty expensive. They had a bad in the whole town. Did they have a running fire? So the whole town is stuck. And so everybody had to move out of the town. And as the thing got bigger, yeah, you're breathing toxic fumes all day. Everybody had just bail. Oh, it's fine. Shane Torres was headlining the Centralia comedy. No, he was doing the hairspray comedy zone. And I was hosting and I was like, you want to go see Centralia? And we went in between shows.

1:38:37It was nice. How far? Friday Saturday. It's probably like 40 minutes north of the air. Wow. It's fun going around the band. What does it smell like when you're outside? You wouldn't notice it. But then every once in a while, you see a crack in the ground with smoke. Did you like put a grade over it? You want to put a grade over it? Throw some burgers down? Somebody drew a bunch of dicks on a highway for like a mile straight. It's pretty fun. There's a man there. Someone just spray painted an abandoned highway with dicks. Speaking of hamburgers on the grill, did you see that photo of Chuck Schumer grilling in his backyard with like raw hamburgers and no fire?

1:39:10He deleted it. He didn't go photo. He tagged them. It's so nice to be it out. He had grilling burgers. He had like a photo shoot. It's just making a fake thing. Yeah. So the grill was not on. The burgers were fucking like old gray -looking burgers. Yeah. He's got like a smile on his face. It's like this. It's almost like an AI picture. We got the shot. Go back and say it. So like there's no heat at all in that grill. You look at those. Look down at the grill. The cheese is still rock hard. Try to find fire. There's no smoke. Nothing's happening. That's not the best picture. I've seen a more high resolution photo of it online.

1:39:44And as you get it, there's no fire. They talk. Schumer lives like that with his neighbors right next to him. These have burr. Unless those are fake. Those are good dogs. That doesn't have a power to do. The burgers are good. The burgers are good. The burgers are bullshit. That's a decent one. Let's go out with the dogs. Decent hits though. I don't look so far there. Who drew out to the other camera. That's actually a pretzel. Pelosi. Close in on that, Jamie. That's a great one. What's the best of it? I can't get any closer. Okay, find a better photo. There's a little higher resolution. I thought that was fire too.

1:40:16And I zoomed in. It looks like a pretzel. It's stuck between the grates. He's got his readers on the right. Check to see. I might be wrong. I don't think I am though. See if you can find a more high resolution photo. As he zoom in, I thought it was fire. Oh, the fire is underneath there. He just put the burgers down. Oh, and she's got cramps on it. It's like a little bit. Those wieners are right out of the package. They come like that. The people make a photo of them doing that. So, I'm going to go out with the camera. You're going to fight for this video. He just goes, no thanks. That's the grill marks you have on that patty.

1:40:48You don't know how to fucking kick it. Cook that burger. You flip that to the other. I'm communist. Because you're cooking a hamburger only for TV or for the internet. You're not really cooking a hamburger to eat. I can't respect your fake game. Think about, like, think about what you're gonna fucking grill. Of course. Do it for me. Do it for me. Who grills? When you see comedians do the social media route. Think about bad politicians. I'm just so bad. I'm just trying to discover it later. There were these comedians who are like, people around you being like, dude, that's fucking lame. Remember?

1:41:20AOC at the border crying. Yeah. And it was like, you know, what did the look like? Do you see Condoleezer, whatever the vice president is? No, whoever the lady is. Come on, hair. She's clapping and singing along to a song that was like, like, like, Bird America down. No, no, no, no. I was talking about her. She's a dumb bitch. And she's like, yeah. And then someone had an informer. They're actually yelling at Kamala Harris as a dumb bitch. Oh, that's got to hurt. She's like, oh, it hurts. Well, that's not nice at all. Well, let's keep moving. I changed my mind. Let's keep moving. It's like when you think you're killing the other ship.

1:41:51They're fucking repeating jokes. You were killing. You were killing and repeating jokes at the same time. They're hiding that lady. It was like, come on, hair. I think she's sucking out some of Joe Biden's dementia. Did you see Jimmy Kimmel doing that thing with Barack Obama and Joe Biden? What are they doing? Like Jimmy Kimmel's doing like shows with them. He brings them out and they do like a show, like a fundraiser. Yes, sitting on a stage, making a theater. And then Obama has to walk Joe Biden off the stage. Imagine if he's just changed the rules and said, you can keep running if you win. There's no term limits anymore.

1:42:26This is a crazy job. It's very hard to do. And Obama decides to run again. He'd be like, oh, he wins like that. Joe, step out. Obama wins like that. Oh, yeah. People like Obama. Oh, yeah. They just changed that law. They just changed that law. The chairman has lost all his, hey, I'm friends with Obama. Chris. Bro, he's lost all his, I'm a competent human being who's not dying. It's crazy going to rural Australia and talking to people. Like, how do you, how do you rate Joe Biden? And I was like, I don't rate him at all. I don't fall apart. And they're like, nice. Well, Australia's got some problems too.

1:42:55They had like a men behaving badly, claws or whatever. Do you see that? What's that? What do you mean? Pull it up. There was something about how they're like, we got to redefine men and change everything. Bro, they went woke. They went hard woke. Yeah, Australia's beautiful. I never would have thought. I'm not a Australia. The problem is the type of people that get into office are always nuts. And those type of people are the people that are like going to get the university kids behind them. And we're going to push a progressive fucking. That's just politics. Yeah. Australia's not woke. Australia's fucking dirt bags.

1:43:26You're right. It's not Australia. It's not Australia politics. It's just woke. It's the Florida of the world. But it's always a fucking tyrannical few that are opposing people being able to just do whatever the fuck they want. If you, Australian people are wild. They're fun people, man. We're talking about maybe. What is it? Australia's men behavior change program? That's it. What is it? Behavior change program. Services for men who are coming history with a piece of behavior towards a female partner, including violence, coercive control, and if this doesn't involve mushrooms, then they should shut the fuck up.

1:43:56You got to take classes or something. Yeah, that's not going to work. That's a bum. Yeah, classes, you'd have to take that would get you through like one five -graders. Joey Deers had to take one class and he avoided Seattle for 20 years. He's still in the morning. He's still on the show. He still won't go there. He still won't go there. And to take one class and like, don't be so rageful as strangers. He goes, I'll just leave the whole West Coast. Why not? You see, Adal, you could basically do anything. They let you ride out of jail. It's so crazy. And they're getting him for like, what did he do?

1:44:26He was like parental stuff. I think he was, I think he was like, 70 years ago. I think he hit a guy. I think a guy, his ex -wife, his management. I think it was one of those things. Yeah. I feel like you're allowed to hit that guy. It depends on who the guy is. It depends on who you are. But I support Joey Deers staying out of Seattle. This is the out of the dozen deserve him. He should deserve him. He's a good -spoken guy. He's a good -spoken guy. You know what else is a shit? Tacoma. Tacoma. I did Tacoma with Dave. We did Tacoma Dome. Yeah. That's the biggest show ever. There's no Monster Truck rally there.

1:44:59Yeah. I was doing this Tacoma comedy club. I went to the Tacoma Dome for a Monster Truck. I didn't know Monster Truck's were just for kids. No, no, no, no. I was like, I was like, I'm a kid. So, we're talking to people who are allowed to go too. True. That's the first thing. Dave and I broke the attendance record there. We did 25 ,000 people there. It was a nutty show I ever did. We were backstage like right before Dave. But when we first did the first few shows, what we have is I would do my set. And Dave would have a DJ in between. He had like this whole thing like DJs. It's a drama. People would play in music and shit.

1:45:32And so the DJ would introduce them. So I got off stage and the DJ starts playing music. And Dave and I are standing there and he just looks at how he goes. Not a lot of motherfuckers get to do this. Wow. And we're just looking at it. It's like one of the coolest moments ever that I still remember. The other one was when Dave, the audience did not know Dave was going to go on stage. I was doing, I was doing a arena in Columbus with Hinch Cliff. And I think Hinch Cliff, no, yeah, maybe Brian. Creme. Was it, was it Hinch? My name is Bultibum. Anyway, we're doing this giant ass arena in Columbus. And Dave shows up while Tony's on stage.

1:46:10And Tony doesn't even know whether or not he's going to bring up me or Dave. I go Dave's coming. Because he said he's coming. So Tony is thinking he's bringing me up. But I'm walking with Dave up to the stage. And the audience realizes at a certain point that Dave's walking the stage. And in it's a minute standing ovation. Damn. Like one solid minute. And me and Tony were just sitting there like, wow, just looking around like this is amazing. That's like we were on a drug. Like this is how many times you get to see like one person generate this kind of love. And just cool to see. Look at what's this, what's this?

1:46:48This is Tony introducing him. I think we watched his last time.

1:46:55So he thinks it's me right now.

1:47:01And two of the best in the world.

1:47:07Tony roll with it. They go bigger when they see him.

1:47:15Row one whole minute. That's a super ball. What happened to the video Tony so happy. What happened to the video? Just froze. So trust me. That's a suit for those people. It was one whole minute. And then he points to the mic. He goes, oh, it's fun. It was amazing. It's Tony roll with that fast, too, because he's bringing you up in the middle. He goes, one of my best he goes, I'm bringing up one of the greatest comics. And it's instantly goes to my best friends. Like, he like changed like that. He rolled it fast. Yeah, he wrote it and changed. Well, he knew I had a we had a thing like if it's Dave come towards the stage with a light.

1:47:55So I'll see your cell phone light. So I had the cell phone light. I was waving it towards him and he saw the two of us as we're walking up. One of my best friends, two of the best comedians in the world. Right in that moment. That's cool to think you went from the shitty Boston rooms to that. That's the cool thing about comedy. You can really my favorite of those. I was hosting the seller. She had me host for a while and then she goes, you don't like hosting do you? I'm like, no. I should be hosting her. That means I brought on Louis high at like 2016 2015. And I was like, we're already friends.

1:48:24But I was like, please, you know, pop in. Please welcome Louis. And they're so fucking nuts in 140 cedar. And I was like, do they always do this for you? And he goes, what?

1:48:36That's fun. When Dave came to the mother ship. When the first week it was open. That was the same kind of deal too. We had just started. Yeah, open for him. That's right. I bombed his little boy. That's not a boss. You're lying. You're not. Not true. Shame on him. It was like an A -minus. No, it wasn't even remotely. I was a joke. It was just the first time anyone had ever stepped foot on that stage. You're the first person to talk into that microphone in front of an audience. It was a stressful situation because Joe introduced it. And then I went up and then I could, you could just tell everyone in.

1:49:09And it was all just friends. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't like a regular crowd. Like it was Chappelle and all his people rogan back there. And then I got up there and I was like, you're lying. You're lying. You're lying. We sold the tickets online on Twitter in five minutes. I said there's a special intimate show tonight at 1130. Come down. I feel like I had like 20 people with me. Uh -huh. Well, he always has a boss. There's 20 people in the back of it. But the place was packed. It was 110 people stuffed into the small room. And no one knew who the show was. I just said it's the special surprise into Michele.

1:49:41And the place sold out. And so they didn't even know who they were seeing. So they see you because you want to do the little room. You did the big room the night before. I just wanted to fuck around. And no one had done that. He's like, because he walked in. He's like, man. He's like, when are you going to open up this big room? And I go, you want to do it tomorrow night? You want to do it tonight? He's like, let's do it. And so it was like that simple. So it's like, okay, we're going to open up the big room. So the wait staff, everybody's brand new. Everyone's just like getting going. We don't even open a day.

1:50:06You know, I mean, maybe a couple days. We just, let's just start. Don't worry about fire. We started with the whole idea was we're going to open up once. We're going to do one show. We're going to figure out what happens. See how everything goes. What we need to tighten up. And then do two shows. See how that goes. So we went with one show a night. And we said, okay, we're going to try two shows a night. And then we did a couple of these shows like that. And we never stopped. We never did the break. We just kept going. We kept going. We kept going. We kept thinking that that's the ra ra ra ra ra.

1:50:33And this of it would fade away. And I want to do it. It just hasn't at all. But I forget to post images sometimes. The tickets are on sale. And I'm going to check the website. They're fucking sold out. It's been marked at a show last night. And they were like, I mean, they put up a week ago. And then they were like, our tickets are on sale this. And it's 14 minutes gone. Damn, that never happens to me. It's crazy. It's crazy. They would sell a block of cheese with sell out there. There's a bunch of hardcore comedy fans. And they're fucking honest with their laps too. They're honest with their laps too.

1:51:06They know when you're not really getting right. And they know when you are. Like when you really like go for something. But the thing is they come. If you're an audience member, you come going like, hey, it's going to be a good night. And you're going to leave that minimum going. Oh, that one guy was really good. The other guy. And then they see someone they suddenly, it's like 10 Dylan. And they're like, that's a lot of great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bro, feel a lot of pop the other day. Holy shit. What do you mean? He went on stage. They went crazy. He's one of the biggest comics in the world.

1:51:34You know when it gets a crazy response in Joey D .S.? When Joey D .S. went on the other day, literally, like people bouncing around in the crowd. Like it was a mosh bit. I get it. They're also excited for each other. Like you and your buddy are there and like, we did it. Yeah, we did it when Joey's there. Damn, did he go to the Dave's club? I have not, but I will. I definitely will. I heard his restaurant is insane. Restaurant. Yeah, he's got a restaurant connected to it. Yeah. It was some amazing five star chef that he loves that he brought to the... Yeah, it was Springs to work at his restaurant.

1:52:05Comedy's in us. Crazy space. Oh, my God. So funny thing is growing up, children have hundreds of millions of dollars. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. Right. It's bizarre. Damn. Well, the Brady Roses is like, it's crazy to see that much mainstream. Like, the biggest quarterback and the biggest comedians are interacting. So, the Brady Roses was the number one show in Netflix history. Really? And your fucking stupid watch went off at the perfect time. I made it up, oh. The number one show was Dirty Comedy in the history of Netflix. That's right. That's it. There you go. The number one show, Nikki Glazer, Andrew Schultz, Tony Hinchcliffe, everybody going hard.

1:52:44Hard. That was the number one show in Netflix history. Love it. Fuck yeah. Most of that was yours. All right, here's that, Cerandos. He knows. They know, he knows. Okay. Cerandos is a good man. He's got a bro. He's a good man. Yeah. He's a good man. I saw him backstage. I didn't know he was. And he was just like looking at me backstage at the forum for Tony. And he's like, turns over. I just thought he was some guy. And he's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm cutting a hole in a Kobe Bryant jersey. I can put my dick through it. It's like, come on. And he's like, that's cool. Who was that guy?

1:53:17Like, he runs Netflix. I'm like, oh, that's that guy. Oh, shit. He's doing it for him. Oh, shit. You did a fucking two's part special for him. Yeah, that's true. You did two special, a two part special. But that's comedy. That's what comedy is supposed to be. Well, he was there for it. Well, that's what comedy is supposed to be. That's what comedy can be. If you let it go as wild as it should. Yes. You got to try the only way you find out what the limits are is you let Brian Holtzman on stage. Ooh. You find out what the limits are. We got Brian Holtzman on our stage all the fucking time. And we have him.

1:53:54He's a limitester. We have a headline instead of putting him at the end of the night. We have Brian's headlines. That is in the big room. But no, he's doing regular shows. Yeah. And it's not like a long show where it's two in the morning. You finally get to see him and he goes crazy. No, he does whatever the fuck you want. But that's how we when we started. That's where he was. Tommy relegated him. He used to be just somewhere towards the end, but still like second third. Thank you, sir. But he is so I didn't know who he was. Oh, right. So you see he's like in a polo shirt buttoned up. Sharks can shoot.

1:54:27Yeah, I'm like, who the fuck is that? Is there another show, another song that we can go with other than that? What's another one? How about the one that the bull ran out to? Yeah, that's a good one. Thank you, Ari. Perfect dance. There you go. We're going to be in America. So at least I know I'm free. Jamie, please queue it up. At least the hostages. Oh, Jesus. Hold on, hold on. No, I mean, you're not even really Jewish, right? All right. No. No, it's not. Everyone thinks you are. Everyone thinks I'm a Jew. Okay, this one. Come on. I'm thinking of that. Kind of suck it. Oh, you want to do it with us?

1:54:56You want a knife? I got a knife. I'll do it there. What do you got a shot gunning? You got to open it. Oh, nice. Norman. That's better than the eagle. I like a shot gun. Shut your fucking dirty, calm, honest dude. This is the eagle. Right in the middle. Interesting. Here we go. Oh, you get that. Why are you going to cut his mouth with that fucking terrible shitty job you did? Yeah, what are you doing? You're going to give my lip. No, I'm sorry. You don't drink it up front. You don't drink it up front. You don't drink it up front. No, you don't. I'm right. You drink it up the whole. Yeah, you fucking idiot.

1:55:27Fair enough. You're down to yourself for a second. I did. Yeah, I'm not much of a fucking idiot. You did that myself. You're not me. You said it was a bitch. You said it was a compliment. I always believed it. There you go. Easy. Don't give a shaggy edge from Mr. Norman. He needs his lips. A sweet sweet lips. Fudge and jagged edge, dude. Fuck this. No, no, shut the fuck up. I'm proud to be an American. I am. Honestly, I am. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, what the fuck? We're still number one. We're number one. Well, listen. Sorry. Oh. We're number one in comedy. Oh, I'm gluten tolerant.

1:56:15By a long stretch, suck at England. Oh, you can't bitch. Sit down. Finish it. Mark. Do it. You should excuse it out. They got to do a slow mo. Mark fucking. This is a whole part of that. It's every direction. You got to have something else to do. It's a whole so big. It's a big hole. If we go down boys, we're going to go down having a good ass. Everybody knows. Put down everybody. We're going to get in that bunker. We're going to have a new suit. I thought about the bunker. I thought about sitting there. And Lamar lives with me. I thought about being like, bunker up. And being like, can I go? Maybe on.

1:56:52Oh, no. You're like, Lamar, this place is yours now. I'm the man from all apart. Lamar, you're a real lady, man. You need fall apart to bunker. Would you eat all the crackers? He would eat a lot of the, he would eat it. He would eat it. He would eat it. He would eat things like crackers. You're going to need like sustaining food. You need stuff that lasts on a shelf forever. Look, it just keeps you alive. Tuna. And you need iodine tablets. You need a lot of iodine tablets. See? This is why we need iodine. You need tablets so you can drop in regular water so you can drink it. It's going to taste like shit.

1:57:22But you're going to have to drink it just to stay alive. You might have to drink your own piss. And we need to kill ourselves. No. No, we need to start. We need to start eating the assholes. Too late. I'm on it. We'll catch it. A shitty person. We got to eat them. Yeah. That's the way to go. You ever eaten people? Not yet. What? I mean. I wanted to eat a coyote. These coyotes were killing my chicken and I had this idea. You wanted to fall off. I set up a bird's nest. You put his mouth on it, one of my balcony. No, I was. What? Work will set you free. This is my plan. This coyote's had a bunch of my chickens, man.

1:57:58So I tied one of the dead chickens to a vase, like a big ceramic vase. Yeah. And I put it 30 yards off of this ledge. And I sat on the ledge with my bow. And I was walking, the coyote was coming. And my daughter was five at the time. Starts yelling coyote. It's a coyote. Oh This motherfucker I had him he was coming in you sneaking around the chicken. Oh, yeah, I was gonna eat him I was gonna I was gonna cut it to the apps off and I was gonna barbecue it. I was gonna grill it And then after I grilled it I was gonna take a shit in a hefty bag. I had a plan What and I was gonna throw the hefty bag over the fence like there's your friend bitch Not a plan now you got a skin that thing.

1:58:41I was gonna skin it I would have been cut off the guy who's that normal food. You can eat it. It's not good Stop doing you just have to make sure that you you really cook the shit out of it to get all the parasites and trickin Oasis out of it. What the fuck are you pissing in? What are you doing? I was I was just go to the bathroom shift But just go back again go to the bathroom. You know who's got to touch these J -mo has to touch that yeah He doesn't like that. He doesn't like it. No one like it. What do you mean? Why would you and why would anyone? What is it? What is the object that you're pissing into a truck and fucking help shame with his Oh You're already telling Sorry, don't do anymore.

1:59:15Just go outside and piss outside. You go to the bathroom. Shit sucks. That sucks I was mad at the bathroom right outside the door. What are you bathroom? My nice I love the wall to be out to the bathroom is not that bad of a walk on the sun's out You see those guys you go holy shit. Oh, yeah, it's really important You have to dig into a concrete and lay new pipes. So you don't have to walk ten steps I Are he's pissed in my my studio more than any human being That's a really by a mile no one I'll be 0 is the second No, no, no, no You pissed in here is anybody else piston yeah, so I know no one else Jamie You pissed in a picture that's right.

1:59:55You did you did that water picture that we currently use we had to wash it out Oh, no, we should eventually wash this out. You use that again. Cheers Just Just damn I didn't knew Jamie hated you till that Fucking I think we actually made you clean it up the puke yeah, don't know what you remember when you like slept on the floor And I went out there and played pool for like three hours and then finally you woke up came out I came out I Can't I was I'm asleep during a podcast and then I woke up and Joe's playing like with like three of the top five pool players in the world I'm like hey buddy Passing out Podcast is crazy Yeah, we have cool players over here.

2:00:46We're having fun. I'm like Harry came out stumbling. What are you doing man? I'm gonna go home well You slept there Yeah, I'll show later awesome photos. Yeah, we really fucked with your head sleeping in the closet is behind yeah the stage is wild I gotta I gotta get an hour of sometimes it's gotta go I Layed it down. It's gotta happen the way it happens. Yeah, sometimes you got to lay down where you are I tried to stand up. I couldn't do it. All right This is it Cubby hole behind the Tommy club Well that's so much storage equipment. Yeah, I swear to God that club's alive It's a fun time. I looked in the cubby.

2:01:32It's like clean as a whistle. I think it's I think the clubs alive When I when I first walked into that building I was like whoa Kind of vibe it's been around for so long when you have a building that's been around for almost a hundred years Is that a feeling inside of it? That's like the first place that I went to the call house that I almost built That place was don't you ever see the call please? I still think about buying it. It was a is that the one the song in the sewage? No, no, I'll tell you the whole story off air. There's an issue. There's a couple of issues, but not issues that couldn't be fixed I thought about doing like if we get crazy big like if we keep growing to have like you know how like Mitzie had the Westwood comic store not far away not far away.

2:02:16I thought about doing that I thought about doing I like that idea another one because you got like you can't really have one a level headlighter in town The weekend. That's a great idea. It's here. They're the more camp you know another thing I thought about yeah buying a theater of time to you don't say the name But I thought about buying a theater in town and having like big name headliners in every weekend That's a great theater. Yeah, and also the idea is like you're always gonna be able to have like top level comics Coming to do theaters. So you have them come and do theaters. You have them available for pop -ins any night of the week Come on by we're all friends.

2:02:48I mean you have to take a fucking terrible live nation deal with a fucking I don't know for the money. I agree. I'm in it for fun. Z's no I'm saying it would be nice to the comic They're not to have to say that the first 85 % but I do stuff with live nation too. I don't like What's going on with them right now? I'm in it for fun Z's. Yeah, that's what I'm in it for I don't there's not enough time in the world for me to pay attention But I'm too much about about the scalping. Okay. Well, I don't do that Here's one thing that I don't do. I don't do that thing where they like scalp on purpose like where it looks up Like Bruce Springsteen a lot of these like fucking.

2:03:24Oh, yeah, I never do it You talked to me about that and then I talked to you about that. Yeah, whatever that program is Yeah, artists get the price I don't know if somebody scalps. There's an option for the artist to the artist Jesus You know what I mean that's good. That's how they walk. That's why I'm talking to do what you can make the money So like let's say so I put my tickets on sale for like 40 dollars. Yeah Somebody scalps it and sell 300 yep, I get 300 How do you get exactly with the program? No, no the program is different the program is you have like a platinum thing Plata like really nice tickets are like go for crazy money because everybody knows Taylor Swift is the bomb day So they want to pay for it.

2:04:08So they go whatever the Skalpers are selling us for a thousand I'm not interested if someone scalps they scalp that's just how the world works You have that thing where you like you have to show your ID the person but that's the club That cuts down that Has to be the club it was a real issue so what we came up with at the club So so at the club if save you want to buy if you want to buy a hundred tickets to my club Yeah, if you just were a wild dude one to buy a hundred tickets selling for a thousand bucks each Meanwhile, you could just do that and if you didn't have to show your your ID and who you are You would be able to like resell those tickets.

2:04:48Yeah, so you get resell them for like some guy comes from Scotland I want to see a show show out fuck I flew all the way over here. How much a thousand bucks? Okay, you like I'll go online. I'll do whatever. I'll find some website. I'll buy the tickets We have it so that if you buy if our Shafir buys two tickets you have to show your license Your you I look at your face facial recognition I know who you are Yeah, and then you get to buy two tickets and those are only your tickets. You can't resell them You can't resell them to Bob for 500 bucks. You can't do any that but the idea is like Stop thinking about money so much money is only fun coupons, but you're a billionaire No This is why the money of the customer That's also I'm not thinking about making more money.

2:05:38No sure what time them getting screwed I made the club specifically to break even my my thought is I just don't want to lose any money Yeah, I want to make it the best environment for comedy and not lose money and that's my goal I want to pay people well have a good time. That's my goal Yeah, but the one of the ways you did that was to stop that scalpel. Yes Well, that's for the audience. So the audience doesn't have to feel like shit It's I know it's hard to get tickets, but at least you're not gonna get fucked right? It's it'll be my harder to get tickets if you come from Japan. Yeah, it's harder.

2:06:08I'm sorry Yeah, but everyone buying a ticket is intended to become human being yeah, the buys two tickets. Yeah, you're on a date You got your tickets. That's it. Yeah, that's popular. That's it. And yeah, it's only 250 seats. Okay? That's just what it is, but at least no one's getting fucked right here Everybody there is gonna have like a fair great time great wait staff great nice people managing everybody's fun That's what I mean, but though if you go see a music show or something you'd like and you're like okay These are two four -year -old tickets you get one and one for your friend and then it's like you always a hundred and thirty dollars and you're like With all their with all the Yeah, that's an issue saying it's in it's quite annoying.

2:06:49Yeah, but it's also you avoid them the scalping You think they would do something about the scalping bro Also, yeah, like some of the money Yeah, okay, someone's coming to town and I find out Roger Waters is in town And I don't have his number and I can get tickets for like 500 bucks online like oh shit. Yeah, let me buy him Yeah, but I feel bad if somebody comes to my show and like I said that I take it I said my tickets as low as possible, right? Like you see me in a theater. I did you know It's like make it 40 bucks. You just have to make it so that the people have to get the tickets That's the way to do it It's hard to do it get it done because they have Invested interest in making the most money possible They also get they also did a thing where they sold off like 10 % of their tickets to another ticket in company They own so that they could sell it for twice as much and and a G or whatever What the door from one caught them listen man co doesn't snort itself Okay Horse don't get paid with hugs We gotta go You ever had a hug when you have it out of hug and forever Nice when I first met a late I was working on a TV show I had no friends and I would just go to the comedy store and go to work in this lady that I work with at the sitcom that I was doing She gave me a hug and it was like I needed it.

2:08:14You got would not even get what I got like oh Yeah, like it was a nice it was a nice hug like hi. How are you? She gave me hug. I was like Thank you. Did your dad hug. I felt so much better. Yeah. Yeah, my family's love it. You used to be a hugger They're very loving professional hugger my parents are very very loving and huggy and yeah I think that's when people don't do that with their kids like god damn trying to talk from my cut up hug life Yeah, let's give hugs from for like that was part of a program Well, I would love people yeah, huh? I'm not making it up. That's weird It was like a cuddle or a hugger.

2:08:49Well, how old are these people? Some pretty old Some pretty old. Yeah, we have to come on A cuddle or when an old lady hasn't gotten a hug in a while and you give her one she like yeah It was a program to help people who need a context. I dad would do the other shoulder tap You didn't get a hug that's what happened there there now. Yeah, that's what happened mom hug, but dad would be like No My family's Italian they're all huggers. Oh, yeah, everybody's hugging my dad's autistic. Huggins important Touches important People that are weird would touch it's like such a strange thing. Yeah, yeah, Gerrard and that guy who died in the accident Josh on my friend.

2:09:31Oh, they brought hugging back into LA comedy scene really yeah, what do you mean? They brought it back? We always hugged. Yeah, it was like they started hugging all the time It was like who we you and I hugged each other. We were their first bitch I think we start hugging afterwards shut the fuck up. There was still a firm and From the get go this video of it Shut your mouth, but they did it too, which is great. I just greet everybody with hugs. Yeah, no later You're Freddy Soto Freddy Soto started brother Sorry brother. Yeah, brother. You're Freddy Soto had a like a logic behind it. He's like Remember we were talking you and I were talking about it and Freddy was like, you know I call people brother because like it's the best thing you'd say to somebody You know just my friend you're my brother.

2:10:15My brother. I'm saying.

2:10:20Sorry Really no, but yeah, he would yeah, he'd be like you're my brother in comedy or whatever He just called people brothers. He's like it makes people feel better He was like he makes people feel better and I was like that's a great philosophy Adopted it. I call everybody brother. Yeah, I like that. He and where it's brought. They are when he's fam I know it's like yeah, but he's like family. Where's that family? Oh? Yeah, he and always calls I am fans of like I just found one black. I know it's cool to have one black friend He's a vegan too. Very cool He's always tired. He and Edwards hilarious comic always tired.

2:10:52I had a series of photographs that would get with them Well whenever we do to row together I'd catch Ian sleeping on a plane I like protein fucking vegans and then one time he caught me and it was hilarious I was out there and he had his giant smile in his face and his film and be sleeping You motherfucker. I got you once I got you once in the Twitter days. It was it was right. We were taken off Two two glasses.

2:11:23That's how you got some beams in your eyes. I didn't go fuck. I got Rogan. I just took a picture of you sleeping and tweeted like do what you will with this mouth open like that you landed to a thousand just giant cocks the home stick all kinds of dicks. I do love a good plane nap. Oh My god, it's something about playing. I can fall asleep like immediately as soon as I take off I'm like I know I got nothing to do. I'm not in control go to sleep. Yeah, my mouth has never been more open Yes, sleeping sitting upright on a plane. Yeah, that's being the guy 9 -11 like I'll finally I'm out wake up wake up to scream me terrorists like wait Jesus Christ the guy sleeping in the car and the four.

2:12:12Hey, he's Mike went out. Jamie I thought it was me. I kicked something down there. Yeah, come over. Hi, we're back. You back. We back happened. Yeah, we're good. I think I touched something. Oh, Is that that what it is? Yeah, I'm fine. Okay. That was my fault But the other guy sleep in the car and then the four guys go one two There was a dragon fucking inflatable bed out into a river It's pretty fun. Oh So we sleep there and I'm not waking up. It's like you're in a lake now. You wake up. It's so dangerous So dangerous what if someone doesn't want to swim later It's really far from the shore and you can't figure out I get back up in the rap because you're slop Yeah fucking dangerous man, I'll do it to someone knows that it's swim.

2:12:59Yeah, but if someone doesn't pull themselves back on the raft They're fucked Nice just get rid of them. Yeah, it's fat spread away. It's like Moses The water on the grip of the side And they're panicking Take like five minutes to figure out how you got there and you're like wait no, I was And I'm wet You ever live a do the air mattress life? What is that like have one? Oh, yeah and live on it. Yeah, food on oh Futons rough You hate your life when you have a futon. Yeah, you want to we want to get out of bed You fucking poor bitch get out there and get something done I slept on a futon. I got so much done Like thank God, let's go.

2:13:50Yeah, it's like let's get out of this fucking shitty bed And then you had to turn into a couch because I live in a room doubled up. Yeah Doubleed up. Yeah, we have a fucking lady on their mattress. Yep. Yeah, first of all when you walk in with them They're like oh man One of those nights one of those nights She's just a sad she's made poor choices Yeah, you're willing to fuck me on this mattress Fuck yeah, let me fuck you In the living room Do you know how they find bed bugs on beds beagles?

2:14:27Yeah, they bring in a beagle you go what the real the beagle way this works These an iron so they take an iron and they roll it over the mattress and the heat makes the bed bugs rise to the surface Oh, yeah, so just fucking nasty beagles can be trained sniff out bed bugs How the fuck did you know that cuz I had been bugs and a guy brought a beagle and I was like well, we're fucked why beagles Beagles are particularly good at distinguishing sense They're gonna start the drugs that the drug dogs are there. Oh, yeah, damn well usually they look for bombs Wait, which makes you let go Yeah, I had a beagle sit in front of me in Australia once when I landed There's like looked and stared at me you had a beagle sit in front of you at when I landed That's a ugly lady sat down and just like stared at me and I was like how could be go and then the fucking border patrols Like shit.

2:15:15What do you got in the bag and I was like fuck piss? No, I drugs I Was You get in trouble. No because they said you have any fruit and I was like oh, yes, I do and they like must be that go along I was like halfway Give a fuck about weed especially looking at a guy like you you know some international drug dealer You know, but if you have like a car tire filled with coke You know they take that and I like take a car tire and they'll take it off of the wheel And they'll stuff coke in there and they'll put a little bit of air and then drive that bitch in and then the fucking Belgian Malinois We'll get right right up Get spoiled by a dog My dog bark girls doing here Get him it's ready to go to war I Fuck you bitch This is so cute oh We woke up He's gonna fuck me up.

2:16:31Yeah, no idea how big he is He's never been harmed so he has no idea that he can be right so he runs out He invites your fingers with like impunity you want piece of this? Yeah, come on bitch Oh, he's three pounds. Yeah, the sides of my ankle. What is car away? 12 The round 12 my dick was 12 and he's over there parking That's yours are he just did one what do you mean bud? I'll do another one for the truth You remember we showed a night for the troops who has what you got a mouse your box? Cool. Oh, we come on. Are you pussy's gonna back out? No, I did it. What else are we doing? We're gonna have some fun.

2:17:22Oh, let's try a different song. We might have to get a place Another good American song would be good today. Who would be nice? How about Buck cherry? To be an American. Oh, that's that one. Oh, it's a ball would be nice. Bob would to bar. Oh, I know it the drop The drop is long drop though. Yeah, how about look started started up bug cherry lit up Well, I got one. Hold on Three six mafia sipping on some scissor Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a good one. Just takes one. Yeah, we can talk over it Especially since this is the guy that killed bud light. This is college bud lights back Kid lights back their friends now.

2:18:01He almost killed bud light though You put him in a chokehold let him out. You shot it pretty hard. Oh He killed that company my name is pre nine eleven, do you see kid rocks? Yeah No, the middle figure face rolling stone thing. Uh -uh. He did a rolling stone interview and he started saying the worst shit ever Dropping end bombs and he said please print the worst article you can about me. It'll be good for me It's only gonna help my smart move complete disdain for what rolling stone just complete disdain They let me see the video of him like driving a fucking rock middle figure rock shabber with the moon But when you got a guy like that that has that much money.

2:19:06So wow boy. He's a wild boy Everyone's money. He can sell out. He FaceTime's you know be like, yeah, there's a fucking monkey at my house It's gonna be him holding a monkey Well, I'm gonna face time here a week later. I was like there's a fucking deer here. What the fuck and next to it There was a deer in his yard that they were just it was a baby deer. He was just holding and then it was in front of his orange Tesla you got a Tesla truck orange. He got the fucking Generally, yeah, yeah, what and he's holding a deer. He's like this is fucking crazy It was just me my dad in my car. I was like this is my dad.

2:19:42He was like, hey man my dad was like hello I was like dad this is kid rock. He's got a deer in front of a Confederate flag I don't think he has the flag on it. He's got the flag in the back. It does On the back. It's a cyber truck. It's a cyber truck Confederate flag Wow, you got to respect that commitment. There's no denying it It's on the flag. The flag is on the back window Actually, it might be open. It might be on the trunk. Oh, so when you pull the trunk lid down shows the flesh You so he can like choose to yeah represent these guys stand and we're just not standing in it Yeah, I'm gonna be got mad that he's got like the generally colors on an electric car By the way, that's that's a fucking American car.

2:20:25If you really think about it fast as shit all Tesla's are fast Yeah, the cheapest Tesla below most muscle cars out of the fucking water Those cars are kind of seated on the truck there on the back of the truck on the bed You know, they can't play that show on whatever network it used that owns it They can't play that show anymore because the Confederate flag in the roof Yeah, you never see Duke's has a reruns No, you would you would don't play That's on the roof in that wild it's crazy Is wild me more show fucking Amistad or roots all day. What about Hogan's heroes? Still show Hogan's heroes what was bad about that?

2:21:11They had a fucking show a comedy about a concentration No, it's a intern recap Idiots the Nazis were kind of friends with the captives Interacted and you know kind of like all Marty Dumbaires we used to always fuck around about juice stuff at the end of the night and he'd be like I saw a documentary by the Holocaust it's in that tough. I'm like what was it called? He goes Hogan's heroes Yeah, that show was a fucking sitcom was the kid. Yeah, it was normal. It was only a few years after the war if you really think about it It was a way of like let's take it lightly. Well, here was Hogan's heroes.

2:21:56I want to say it was the 70s Right, so like that would literally be like a joky joke show about the invasion of Iraq now Yeah, right does the store people needed a laugh for worse like right. Yeah first episode 65 That dude went crazy the dude who is the lead went crazy was that movie, but he did a lot of porno I mean yes, what is his name? What was his name? No, not Ray coms. No, no, no, no Family feud probably food. Yeah, I thought he would did that and then went on No, no, no, no, he was in family feud, but that was the other guy I'm so family cute. Okay, right? Comedian here to the movie Yeah, Jamie'll find this it's a normal name very standard name so this dude when he was off a Hogan hero He would pop rain.

2:22:49He would just like find girls and film videos and him and his partner would make porn together And they got addicted to making porn with like random ladies and then his partner killed him Why I don't he murdered him What I was the guy that guy was the guy he did it with Yeah, yeah Edit out his bulge oh my god, oh my god, wow pull it up So back then in 65 he's like the first TV stars Yeah, this guy was probably on a fucking rampage. Oh, yeah You know this buddy was like let's do some fun stuff and then his buddy won up kill him. Yeah, Rogan's heroes Great a comedy about Nazis well the producers springtime for Hitler that was pretty close I think he got a lot of shit cuz he's a Jew Oh, right right Mel Brooks that's right to bring time for Hitler Jews really what about that fucking one Jerry Lewis movie They can't they never released it no Crying clown something like that doing sad day for a clown No, he made the movie but it's like in the art That one a clown died it's mostly the worst fucking movie ever shot 1972 never released due to Mariett issues with the production never been made available in any form leading to project to reach Mythical status in the global film community.

2:24:33It's supposed to be like so offensive It's a cloud Jerry Lewis is a clown irritating all of those kids that are on the way to the gas chamber What's that similar movie about that one like some award where the guys like I'm gonna be like the happy guys Like an Italian it's life is beautiful life is beautiful What was patched by Joan open to pay was patch Adams that was a clown Cancer kids I think so yeah hilarious. He's told that didn't even have cancer. Oh Anacters yes Now they're all fucked up well, yeah, if you can have AI actors now you don't have to have kids doing it anymore So the kids won't get That's coming so they make kid sex robots just to appease the pedals Good idea you make sex kid robots that explode once your dick That we'd him out.

2:25:33Yeah, just nails every fourth one does a chance you might get by everyone is filled with plutonium Yeah, even if they don't explode you get dick cancer take that deard fogel. What does it say? It's possession of the library of Congress I'll just I just time support that Lewis had to copy the film's library converse under the stipulation that would not be screened before June 2025 that's now that's right now we got to see we gonna go see it field trip. Let's go Let's do is anybody seen it. Can you go see it? Let's find out if we if it's legal to go watch it Can we go watch it if we go to the library Congress?

2:26:08What would we have to do to go to the library? I've been in that talk to you go in library. You can just walk in any government building That's true Union boys can just go in and they might execute a lady in no care. Yeah, whatever I'd like to see the library Congress is open It's an actual library. How many people have been arrested for just being there at January 6th? I mean I think a lot I still in jail without a Biden speech We was like bragging he's like we gave these guys 800 years and South Dakota firemen 800 years watch the footage reveal from J. Lewis lost Holocaust film Condensed version of the 1970 to his Holocaust I want to say I'm just a weird on Vimeo.

2:26:47Oh, you can watch on Vimeo. Yeah, is it still on there? It's not gonna be good. It was never why is it why is it bad is it made to sad? Did you not see the fucking Nettie professor he was brilliant Any mercy?

2:27:04Scratch plans for releasing the film after being embarrassed by how it turned out it's still better than unfrosted 2025 you wait till 2025 what yeah, I Can't wait oh Harry Sheerer said the movie he's a Harry Sheerer said the movie so drastically wrong Where did I say yeah? I told spy magazine the movie was so drastically wrong calling its pathos so wildly misplaced You could not in your fantasy of what it might be like improve on what it really is Wow, there was a show in England that got cut about a guy coming home a Nazi and his family pull that up J. Mo Which I don't show it was a sitcom like honey.

2:27:43I'm home, but he was a Nazi. Oh, yeah Yes, and it was just this regular stuff That's like deal with his like life life his naggy wife and he was like Just got back from the genocide What's the deal with concentration? Not studying No, then there's concentrate on anything but survival they don't have any food You need food to be able to concentrate Hobbons doesn't sound so bad easy big But wait, I lost my younger guy in the drawer Where is it? Did he have like a Yeah, I saw a hair on the shower. Oh, yeah, that was like one of my favorite. That was a good bit So I felt bad, but it's funny if you include a concentration.

2:28:31Yes. Yes for sure Anyways, that's terrible hold on wait. Wait. There was a sitcom though. It was like honey. I'm home Nazi version honey We drunk all right Honey we killed everybody We drunk six million what the fuck dude They did that with there was a movie that just came out zone of interest. That was kind of like that I'll honey. I'll home. Oh my god a British sitcom Bridey Jeff Hackinson produced in 1990 was canceled after one episode His centers on Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun who lived next door to a Jewish couple. Oh my god 1990 oh my god show me a clip It's funny as far as the footage out.

2:29:13This is so ridiculous Can't stop the one episode, but they put it out I went all the way to think about how many fringe comedians say god awful things on Twitter just to get attention Uh -huh right now think if you gave this person a budget Oh, sorry This is crazy Oh tonight you will make a schnitzel. What a joke You must be real mad at me honey. I'm a very very bad Hitler I thought I was the UK those are very American accents. Yeah, but it's the UK. They're pretending to be like German They're trying to be Germans. They won American. Oh Weird, man. Well, they probably didn't know what a sitcom was they just copied us Yeah, exactly.

2:30:01Don't know until the uniform off it bro. You're home. Yeah, what are you doing, bro? I'm just gonna know 1990 Jesus it was 1990. Wow That's so that's Damn, it's yeah, it got I would love to see someone in that meeting. I like when they made it 1938 before things went totally I was fucking Nick moan Yeah, we're doing it. I can't believe they did that. They made it in 1938 like that's what it was supposed to be So before he lives back to a British couple couple and they like we gotta get rid of this couple It's like you need to do a show about the Jackson five do it was young. Yeah, do before things go weird Joe Jackson was a Mean man allegedly.

2:30:42Wow. That's the story. Yeah Yeah, but I want to work there and to be in the fucking best ever the best ever came up off The creep king's story With what is his doctor's my boy Hyman his doctor said that he was Chemically castrated to keep his voice Right which makes sense if you look at him is chemically. Yeah, it's his body looks so different than all his brothers He looks like a unit like he has no muscle at all nothing. So he probably had no testosterone so his voice never like reached male puberty voice But his dick still worked. Oh, I don't know Who knows who's telling true cuz he was banging brook shields and He's impressed With them was with oh the old way, but look at his kids kids are clearly not his kids really.

2:31:35Yeah, they're like it No, they look like white kid. They look like white was black dude DNA was black It's a fucking Norman. He dull as old what normally the worst detective ever. Oh It was black Need you was black chill chill chill chill chill chill. I think Joe Robin is a killer wasn't there. Oh, I'm not his fucking kids, man Those are not his kids. Well, they are But not biologically really yeah, but he like like Jackson was so fucking good that even though there's all those allegations people still listen to that music like shut up Yeah, he was so fucking good that beat it Tony had Hinchkov used to have a joke about He's like when beat it comes on you don't give a fuck about those kids Yeah, everybody had that joke, but Tony's a really good one It is a thing where you're you're if someone's that town you let him slide he had one too She pal had the if he was like he made thriller.

2:32:38It was on she pal. She's on the stand. He was like he made thriller Right, you got did you got did all by the best Pedophile all time and he got pissed Then he was defending our Kelly and they pissed on it was good, right? And then there was also there was probably some shit going on with him where people were blackmailing him Like it might not know if he really didn't have a working unit like if it really was chemically castry Like his doctor said that doctor that went to jail. They wanted to go to jail for giving him profanol So he would kill them. Yeah, yeah, he would get literally get anesthetized because he couldn't sleep He was so crazy that he just couldn't sleep and so the doctor would like to nested I remember night and eventually died when that doctor got out of jail He gave an in interview he was talking about what happened to him.

2:33:21He said that he was chemically castrated when he was young That's why he looks so different. He's so thin He like no muscle at all and you look at his brothers his brothers look like men Yeah, like all the other brothers But he was the young kid with this fucking golden voice and isn't long history of people doing that those Castratos from the opera days where they cut kids nuts off and have them sing it a high pitch forever You never heard castratos. Uh -huh. There's like one video or one Recording that's available from like the early 1900s of a castrado. It's haunting Well, it's a guy with no nuts Sing they took his nuts when he was a young boy damn that allergy dark All right dark dark shit man.

2:34:03Well, hey, but keep just keep she in work. What is this? I see what you've got there You're trying to learn how to use it's a shotgun thing. I want to just drink it drink it like a real American what the hell is that? Shot for the other. Yeah, there you go. That's a great invention. So you put just punch it through that didn't go through on your tank Dig easy much better Much better made Oh, that's so much better suck at Ari that's like you that's like having a America freedom bong in your pocket I can't believe I caught that that was a great throw too Is that another one? Why do you keep doing that with your throat?

2:34:43It's so cold. Yeah It's a cold beer. That's why I do it. Yeah, but you that's not gonna help shut up dude Stop chugging a beer and going oh Me through Oh If I squeeze my throat Oh These are great Nice plug the ultimate shocker you think you get this into a stadium? Oh, yeah, you definitely could you put your keys on it? Oh, you can give this to a lady for self -defense Like that fucking yeah like the keys the combat class I told you about yeah Yeah Don't don't you stop looks like Ari's nose But right right safe son of a bitch that's quite a honker you son of a nice honk dude Leave his honker you get snort some blow with that puppy.

2:35:49I support your honk Is blow still a major pain amongst comedians? Sometimes yeah, it is not is it out here with the audience sometimes a shit go well Yeah, it's not like this day away. There's not as many fiends, but if it's going around people like yeah, let's go Yeah, it's going around such a dumb one. Oh Squirters great, you know they have happened. You know they have a legal weed. They have like that dealt Delta nine, but yeah, but it's not bad. You would try it. It's not that helps you sleep. That's the nice the real weed by the way Weedy Delta eight. Yeah, is it suspect? I've had the legal stuff that you can buy here and it's weed.

2:36:34Yeah, but it's okay weed is also Mike, what do you try and do you try to get obliterated or just want to get a little creative? If you just want to get it a little creative get a little silly. It's perfect. It works Especially you don't get you 32 % weed What's that point? What do you try to do? What a percentage of I mean I'm saying you don't need to get a blitter You can't like regular weed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't crazy hard But that what it isn't it weird like my point was like what if someone comes out with like a delta eight coke Oh, you know That's a great idea like if you can do that.

2:37:06Okay, let's go matter Different forms of TAC are in cannabis plants the most abundant form is delta nine when people refer to the effects of TAC They usually talk about delta nine other forms TAC touches delta eight and delta ten have similar chemical structures to delta nine But their effects are usually different Oh Some of that stuff is pretty good and you can just buy an assortance totally legal like weird. Yeah, loop hole Dude, I've had a lot of it in New York. He's got rooms at the Vodega real. Yeah, it's wide open, baby Is that legal in the state now? No, no, but they're just like nobody's bothering us.

2:37:42You got the fucking well Listen, that's the beginning and eventually it's gonna get to the point where people realize that it should be legal I gotta say they never dole telling you what the fuck you can do yeah, but didn't Portland open up all the drugs and look at them now. Well, they had problems before that. Ah, you can't play me on that Tilt it down I'm talking to rich boss. Oh, you're right. I did do it upside down. Shit Oh And all my heroes in the methadone clinics so he was in a Kid Rock was in my green room and that exact line came out. I was talking about a family members drug addiction Yeah, and I was talking about methadone and he was like he was fucked up and he was like I have a lyric about that And I was like, what do you mean?

2:38:35He's like he didn't think about it. And he was like oh my hero's in the methadone I was like you mean ball with the ball I know that's the one you have He probably still sings that all the time right that's the cool thing about being a rock star You can just go pee they want to hear those old jigs like the machine. Yeah, it would burn Yeah, they want to hear those old stories Yeah, they won't that's Nice banger from fucking 30 years ago. That was dice too with dice Yeah, all comics was everybody knew the lines. They wanted to repeat them. What's in the bow bitch? The whole crowd like It was like a song we did a rock on the range or whatever some rock fest and dice was the uh the comic there I had to open for him and He did that at the end What's his face Lincoln park or one of these bands brought him up and the whole arena knew it It was incredible.

2:39:33Yeah, cuz it was just the right age where they knew the whole thing And they all sang it together. It was beautiful. I love what dice is doing now It's fucking videos With you and nobody knows who he is and he doesn't care like he does he doesn't have like an issue with people not knowing who he is Like it's big shot with the two dogs what The two dogs big shot I'm sorry. I don't know it. No, no, the two dogs big shot Okay, he did it to me. I never met him. I was like hey, I just let you know I'm your opener How much time you want me to do he goes you want a photo like no, I know I'm just saying I'm your opener He's like come on.

2:40:12Let's get a photo. I'm like I'm good. I'm good on the photo. He was always down for the goof Yeah, he's always down with goofing on people He's bad there. I could see the date your fans and I get it if you wanted the picture You know what I mean like alive some people is shy about You date some of them get shy Thanks Brad Garrett killing me Is Brad Garrett still do stand up at his club? I think so yeah, he's got that nice club in Vegas. I hear it The MGM it's a great club that we can do down my rarer used to work that club all the time. Oh, yeah Yeah, he said it was like the best club in Vegas.

2:41:03There's Kim. We're a club. We've got a club there wise guys as a club Why is this has two two clubs are now? A little bit of a scene Vegas is like always tripling out of there two clubs and Vegas two clubs lives there now No, that's that was his scene that he came away. Oh, right right right Stand up to stand up really yeah, he had a club. No, he started in Vegas I'm pretty sure what's the thing from my only was there for a long time. I heard a great stand hopes or I'm no I don't know if I'm allowed to say it don't say then. Okay, give it a chance later It's pretty funny, but it's like I think it's pretty tame give it a chance.

2:41:38Oh, yeah, we can cut it okay Okay, okay Carly ready with the butt with a dump when a zany's opened in Nashville. Yes, he went and no one knew who he was, you know He walked like half the room people like this is horrible. You're weird. You're anti -bible Whatever and the bartender there was it was some lady and it was her first night at a comedy club bartending And she went up to him after she's like you're disgusting That was a warrant. That was an appropriate. That was crazy. She didn't know comedy. Yeah So then whatever cut to 30 years later. He comes back to zany's Kills like has the one of these magical sets and nihilates great night He gets off stage and she was like she'd now had been seasoned with comedy She's heard all these people over the years and she's like that was great.

2:42:26They all they go out He ends up Fucking her back at his or her apartment and he's over the balcony fucker her fucker She's like you don't remember me. You don't remember me. He's like not. I don't remember you whatever and they're fucking They're fucking and now he's got her over the balcony fucking her doggy style and he goes you're disgusting Is that true I don't know story I heard It's a fun story. How's he gonna know? Scott that out No I don't think that's alright. That's alright. Is that alright? Probably no. I feel like we should check. I don't think Stanhope would be upset If we know Doug Stanhope I'm sure he does it.

2:43:04He'd be like whatever. I have fucked. It's fine But what a great call. You could also get a year call back. You know a face time Kid Rock and baby says I'm up Kid Rock on our pod first guest Ask of the stories real Who rules one Stanhope he's the best Ah, he might not have woken up yet Yeah That's one number. Let me try the other one. No, I've been out there. He wakes up early. Oh really? I couldn't believe he might already be past that I got a couple numbers. He also doesn't drink like that. Come on No, it's when he goes after then he goes after it's a marathon. No, no, no, he might call back so keep an eye on that puppy I'm just funny.

2:44:05I heard another one word His uh Douglas were on the air Text me or call me when you get this Period I'm with Shane Mark Norman and Arish and fear I think Sam talent lived there for a minute where he was with me. Oh with you. He was there for like a week No, no, you're talking about busy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he came down me and Sam had one of the hardest I've ever laughed to my life It's not even funny. We were just on mushrooms But stand hope so there it's just us and stand hope has the fun house his bar So we're just drinking every night and then me and Sam took mushrooms and the whole time every time you talk to stand hope He's such like a old road dog that will be like do you know Billy Cummings?

2:44:56You know, he just always says a name. Yeah, he's never heard of anyway We're up on the roof me and Sam are up on the roof of the fun house on mushrooms dying laughing about a scenario where his dog Henry eats his cat meat wig and When the cat gets eaten Staying up just the imagining what stand hope would do if his dog is cat and be like meat wig no It's so funny to dog eat the cat. No, imagine it's a made up. We're on mushrooms. So we think it's we think it's the funniest thing of all time of him just Me wig no But also stand hope can be mean drunk really oh yeah, like we'll be sitting there drinking then out now Or we'll be like you're fat Right dude we'll have a nice night smoking cigarettes drinking vodka then out of nowhere Stay and hopefully just turn to you and be like you fucking suck comedy Oh We're all mushrooms we go downstairs and he's also I mean we're dying at the concept of two fucking ogres me and Sam on your roof huge man Tackling about you Let us into your home.

2:46:09Yeah, let's think about mushroom. There's so many layers. Yeah Right, right I get it but meat wig no But then we go downstairs He's drunk we're high on mushrooms And the first thing he does he turns was he takes a dragon with cigarette and he's like you boys remember Bentley Dustin Random fucking bullshit We start howling laughing in his face He's instantly he's just like you two fat fucking losers And it's just making us laugh Yeah, yeah, stay home could turn nasty when he's drunk which is so funny Cuz he's in a fucking clown suit. Yeah, yeah, you know, I mean he filmed a special at my club But I don't think he released it what put it out.

2:46:59Yeah, I don't know what's going on with it. Put Simmons did the day after crowd fit Fitzsimmons has one coming out Brian Simpson. He filmed it Netflix on Netflix, but I know Stan help film something. I don't know what he do was it was a killer I wasn't there. I was out of town when he was doing it unfortunately Sano's like unless I film with one camera by an audience member in the crowd is not enough He filmed when I was on the row. I was on I was somewhere or wasn't huh I mean it might have been a UFC weekend or something like that in the film. I heard it was great though damn I think you might have filmed during the day No refunds.

2:47:36I mean, I've been of course. I think that's it. I think you did one of those day drinking things I saw him to like noon as a poster in your club day drunk. Yeah Stan hope that's it. That's it. That's it. It's framed. I saw him once a care can't stand those two some Yeah, I did the last one with him. I did too. You get up there. It was the first time I ever featured What is it like doing a show at a long time ago the first time I ever featured was opening for Bert On a day drinking show. It's a lot of calls it cause I get to work sick to work show. What was this with here helium Philly? I'm 2016 wow Yeah, that amazing.

2:48:14Yeah, and then I emailed him and I was like we should work together The first time you featured was 2016 and eight years later you're the biggest comic in the world I thought I had something You did guests on my show and you yeah, I was like who's this guy The minute's later is like who are you though? Yeah, right? Well, I was doing it. You know, I did a decade of truck stops in the middle See good for season Bad rooms. I think that's the thing with everything I think you gotta do the you gotta have a full array of experiences in order to reach your potential Yeah, I think that's the thing with everything the only one you couldn't conquer.

2:48:57I think that's with everything like every Fiting movie Every fighting movie you see some guy and some fucking Seedy bar that has like a boxing ring and he steps through the ropes and next scene. He's fighting for the title You know, it's like yeah, that man had a fight in that hole Yeah, you gotta there you go. You gotta know All the fucking aspect you can't be some guy who's gone from like a YouTube star To being now you're doing clubs and you're selling out everywhere But you've never done a fucking batch of more than Jonathan John was talking about Elton John about all these boy bands and he goes nothing they never had a bottle thrown at them Yeah, so they don't know how to like get a crowd Simmons and I since like we literally started out together so many times him and I would just been fucking laughing hysterically at hell gigs Yeah, we had to do together.

2:49:46I did a show for Rogan at chick a pee. Yes I don't check a bee. Yeah, awful. They're bagging up their fucking Chinese way or some guy comes on stage Wall -A -Mod and he goes I want to selfie and before they were I'm like what it takes a camera puts his shoulder over me takes it and I'm like Looking for a door guy doesn't exist Yeah, I'm like you got a roll with it. Yeah, all that mega -jewel in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, but you're right It's like bot like what's his name? Dempsey was that he was out doing bar fights back in the day And then like you're pretty good at this make it all heavyweight chance Remember Kimbo slice used to fight back yards like cops take your bad job Ask about the story.

2:50:28Douglas me boy Hello, I was just wrapping up some dude's podcast Wait, we're really just talking about you because we're doing protect our parks right now Norman just told some story about you being very rude to some lady And he's not exactly sure if it's a true story about someone saying that you were disgusting and then many years later You went back and you know as well Nashville zanies you fucked over about Yeah, no, that was Chicago zanies Oh, okay, yes Tell me what happened In a book she was a waitress during the Chicago comedy festival late 90s and She watched my set and then afterwards all the staff is closing out all the comics are going to hey What bar do we go to and go around the corner?

2:51:19So I'm sitting next to her and it ends up me and her the last people there And I said are you going to this bar and she goes um, I just want you to know I saw your set tonight and I think you're absolutely disgusting so I get booked back there And she's working there. Well, I'm doing a regular week by myself. How many years later? I said within the year Yeah, it goes from a festival to an actual headlining week Uh And I so I I said do or all right listen Yeah, I said that you said that what we gonna work the whole week together. So how about we have a truce And she said yeah fine by me and cut you after You know the bar clothes at the bar after the bar back in my hotel.

2:52:12I'm fucker. You're In the ass Outdoor Well, you see in the ass Yes I wrote about it. The weird part was I wasn't in a hotel that had windows that opened That's a long I had her bed over with her head out the window and I came in her ass and I said to her I leaned into her ear and I said I just why you didn't know for the record. I find you absolutely disgusting Actually, so The best part is when I wrote that story in my first book and then we did the book the audible podcast style So we'd come out of the book and I had her on as a live guest to I so I read that part to her and then we cut to her Her side of the story and she goes first of all you didn't come in my ass you came on my back That's a win That's a win for her absolutely second of all go bears.

2:53:22Oh my god What you say what are you protecting the parks from oh no, it's just a I'll do the podcast we do off all the time we didn't have a name for it But are it was trying to protect the park so we started calling it protect our parks But it didn't work. He didn't protect the park. They cut all the trees down. You asked him could you ask him if meetwigs still alive Is meetwigs still alive Me when you still alive, but it's not an outdoor cat anymore. It lives over at the quiet house He's a convalescing in his old old old years Shane was telling some story about him and Sam There were blasted on mushrooms and they they had this idea that your dog ate your cat and then you were trying to like tell the dog No, they thought it was hilarious Douglas I love you I love you go back to it.

2:54:15Okay. Bye. I'll talk to you soon. Come to Austin. Come to Austin I am when you come in and soon as uh, I buy the ticket. Okay, come come Come I want you I want you here in July. Can you come in July DS is coming Come on. I want you to come the week DS is coming. We'll hook it up. We'll do shows together. Let's have fun All right, all right. Hi. Yay. Bye sweet boy. I love you try to convince someone or something like yeah, okay Yeah, I have the best but I have a list of reasons why you're like no, I'm already in yeah, that's the best That was awesome. Yeah, the best. All right. I was a little awesome story.

2:54:52No, you were Pretty hot 30 years versus one year is a big gap I was sad at a lady who's in her 50s get fucked in the ass. I was like don't do that Yeah, that part of me. I'm sad. Nashville, Chicago. I'm meaningless detail It's a mistake Uh Chad Daniels don't want to start chat rules on the podcast you because of worry Yeah, because they reached out. I'm sorry. Okay, let's go. It's about that. It's so funny. Joe will reach up like hey Is this person funny and sometimes sometimes you don't know them. I mean like I have no idea other times You hate them and you're like, I don't really know them And then other times you'd be like that kind of fucking rules.

2:55:34He's the best He said about Chad so I was like, let's go Just did fully loaded together. He's Nice nice. Yeah, he's on the train. Tony's out there with the bird right now doing fully loaded. No, there you go He's like, what am I doing with my life? It's fun, but you do activities. You gotta do activities. You don't have to do coal plunges. You don't have to You can say you've witnessed me shane as always the best of it. Hey shame wake. Welcome. Just a side of your wake What do you want to do? Get the fucking camera out of my face Okay, we're moving off. Why would we ever film ourselves? What kind of activities they try to get you to do?

2:56:10It's like we're doing unicycles today. You're like, yeah We're playing frisbee golf. Is everything documented? Yeah, there's always a camera and I go It's still making up his cameras out of here. Bert is still making up for not being part of tourgasm And he just tried No, Bert is making up for the fact that he wasted so much time in that stupid travel channel show No ticket sold from that Not at all zero. I called Bert up once. I was in the main room of the comedy store I called Bert up and I was waiting to go on stage I was like what's bird up to and I call it he's like I mean I'm on a motorcycle I'm drunk.

2:56:44I'll have the best time. I go Bert. Listen to me. You gotta get off that show I go that shows a velvet prison. It's a velvet prison. Yeah, you got to remember what a velvet prison is Yeah, it's like that's a nice thing the key. It's like what writers get they get a velvet prison So you're you're writing on a show and then when the show has a fucking actors writers guild strike You're fucked for like six months. You have no money coming in and they try to do a stand -up again I'm like you know you got to be the master of your own domain you can't do this like you're a great guy You're hilarious.

2:57:13You're great on podcasts. You do your own podcasts and you should make money off of that and do and stand up If you know who Bert Christchurch is one of those two fat guys driving a unicycle He's the pregnant man emoji on your iPhone Yeah The tour is so fun. It's so fun. I gotta say the activities. I'm always I'm always a fucking people Like no fuck that it's so fun Because I think he's the over promotes Yeah, it's not they weren't recorded. They would be hell of fun. Well, I did We went we went deep sea fishing last week It worked out with the rock yeah, we worked out the rock one of the things I said I said let's do no cameras Let's just have fun.

2:57:53Yeah, so we all came in we all worked out. Oh deep deep sea fishes. There it is Where are you guys self Carolina? We got a couple sharks That's nice. Yeah, drag it on the boat. This is noon by the way. That's a good time though That's always a normal bachelor party. I'm always glad we were one more piss fishing is a good time We're done in the normal's bachelor party and that's when Bert ruled where there's no cameras there It was like I'm making activity well the key is that was too hard. I'm sorry. I'm sorry There's a the key is moderation The kids don't be fucking promoting every minute of every day.

2:58:29It's not that fun. Yes, exactly It's not fun for the people and also the people that are like paying attention to your social media like Stop me alone, but I stop being so goddamn needy sure, but I gotta tell you that you do the these these are great gigs He's got the best crowds. Yeah killer crowds. You go get drunk Then you get back on the bus to drive to the new gig and it's me David Tells soda big. Yeah I mean, it's just a great crew Oh, it's a guy. I mean, it's a beautiful thing. Ah Bus life bus life is very fun. What do you think about a mothership comedy festival now you're talking buddy If there was a number above 100 percent, I would give it to do it.

2:59:10I'm thinking about doing that where but here Right here. Why would I go anywhere? I'm not going anywhere even before if you don't buy these these theaters you can get them involved. Yeah There's a thousand yes answers. Yeah, don't know the town That's just everybody here. Yeah for Yes, you can do every week But you do other shows you can do weird show I do my storytelling show 100 you'll do like fun We're interesting about Simpson in front of a giant crowd do like never before done shows Yeah, kill Tony riffing shows. I've been thinking about a lot of different ways to expand like we're doing so well It's like it's almost like me have too many people that want to come versus tickets that are available Yeah, I'm like I want to I want to spend a level headliner room be great.

2:59:59Yes I want to not just a level headliner room. I want a theater. Yeah, I think it's on top Then we do like a second westwood type comedy store Do you mean we do mother ship west? I got on the plane by us just please check in like three minutes before my flight You know I get I'm a frassel get on the plane normans there. I'm like oh We're great. We're talking about it. We used to come to Austin only for opening for you or Moon tower or moon tower stuff. I yeah, that was a fucking party And now it's a party every time any time Why not come a day early? Why not stay a day late? It's a party You're not here by yourself with the old cap city where you're like, well, I'm alone It's time to get out of here Tyler fish had just moved here too.

3:00:47Oh, he's funny We're going hard. I feel like there's more room. I really do. I feel like there's more room And I want I want to keep this process of developing new comics. You need another club though. It's too much Overloaded yeah, yeah, but with the ideas we're gonna do we're gonna do other clubs. I think we're gonna keep going I think we've only been open a year man. Whoa It's crazy. We've been open one year and so my the next stage. I think stage two is a theater Stage three is a second club like a little bit further out We just keep going a little further a little a little while and everybody's gonna benefit a cap city Will benefit everybody will benefit the whole idea is like make this the best playground possible for comedy There we go.

3:01:30Yeah, best playground possible you guys keep talking about it's the best scene I think we've already kind of accomplished something that I never would have imagined we'd been able to pull off And I think it happened because like the fucking universe made it possible all the things had to take place I had to have the Spotify money LAs falling apart the comedy stores closed down all those employees were available Everybody wanted to move we started doing shows with Dave outdoors Then we started doing live shows indoors at the at um Vulcan all the things like Ron white was already here so the godfather was already here Ron white was here before the pandemic We were talking about two of the outdoor shows you had to go down to zero and then up to an outdoor show Yeah, you couldn't go down to an outdoor show you had to go to like there is no comedy shows and then except oh outdoor not that Exactly and when Dave and I was doing those shows it was like everybody had to be tested So we tested everyone yet to get there an hour and a half before the show everybody got a test We sent a bunch of people home that COVID It's got to refund no Yeah, I know I'm joking That was at a stubs Yeah, but once we started doing shows the Vulcan I was like oh my god, we're never going back because it was indoors and the roar The feeling of all the send the Vulcan is like all hard surfaces So everything's like echoing and when you would crush on stage Ron white came off stage and he grabbed my shoulders grab both of my shoulders hard And he goes whatever the fuck we have to do we're gonna keep doing this You got to open up that club It was like a moment in a movie and I was like we're opening up a club 100 % it was so cool We had already started talking we had already started talking about opening because once I got here I was like damn like the Vulcan's beautiful.

3:03:14It's a fucking awesome place But it's just not set up right. I don't own it. I can't just like let it go crazy I can't set up a system of like open micers and like showcases and We got to have a regular club shut up. You suck. Don't do it. Are you go pee out there? You fucking idiot listen, I'm tell you this I You being now next time. Yes, but it's already pinched. We gotta get you a catheter. This is out of control. I'm Jewish. Have you pissed yet? No you and I the last of the movie kids. Yeah, you're three Shots of fucking yeah, I had two espresso's I had three you can hold in three years. I had it.

3:03:49Well, it's just my body's trained from doing so many podcasts out Are you over pissing? Ari Why do you do this? This isn't cool I'm still I'm shocked and piss on the ground. Did you get piss on the ground? How much piss do you get on the ground wipe it up? He would just ball on the Lauren Compton show. Did you really? I told them I'm not allowed legally anymore. You gotta get a new bit. I'm not allowed legally anymore. You gotta get new material Who told you not allowed penis the LAPD what they said they said don't you can never do that? LAPD yeah after the forum show really Los Angeles penis department What how they phrase it they call me we talked through a lawyer You can't ever do that again And I'm like what about like a club and stuff and like listen if you ever do it again, you're gonna jail Whoa, yeah Lenny Bruce Jesus, that could be you dude you're in a ball taking your weird penis Breaking the law you like a Judas Priest song The thing all the troubled kids in my neighborhood listen to yeah Judas praise Out there is a fortune waiting to be had you better let me know yeah, you got another He was a gay Yeah, he was gay and he was a gay who tricked everybody in addressing like a gay biker Literally made that whole scene where everybody dressed like a gay biker.

3:05:28What was that? What was that? The gun of the van collo Whoa, here we go royalties While Ari pisses in a bud light bottle I Had a kid that was like real troubled in my high school and this was a song that he put like on his like fucking high school yearbook You know, we had a He tricked everybody in addressing like a gay biker stop looking at it Isn't it? It was made sure you still going I know you still go on I'm looking at the screen. What is he doing? Rap existed when I was in high school Rap existed when I was in middle school, but it was like sugar gang. Yeah About hip hop no, we knew about that show.

3:06:19Oh, yeah, I mean that song yeah, and then Give me a Like a book is the case This was the rabble song of my high school He's gay Big gay to put you fucking dick. Well, he wasn't just gay. He was gay like Steader bicycle What the fuck is that are you done? Gross guy you gotta get rid of those piss bottles you can't 100 % did you pee on the table you son of a bitch? That's beer you liar that's beer. How much of it? Give it a wide. What are you doing? You're gonna be the best leaky dick. I'm the great conversation. I had to be you didn't have anything to add to it Stop being mad about it. I'm sorry Yeah, rap.

3:07:20I really fell in love with rap when I was on the road when I started doing stand -up because I'd like I'd be like driving the gigs listening like cool G rap and like though the old days like 90s hip hop Nas Like that's what I really got into rap hip hop is dead. It's not rock is not it's not Do I'm seeing it Don't do. He's funny. That's what the kids listen to Judas Priest ever losers. We had like Marilyn Manson Yeah, the kid was listening to that you'd be like what the fuck yeah, that's a worshipper. Yeah Marilyn mother. We had a Jelly roll popped on to the fully loaded and that was fun. He's an animal crowd.

3:07:59That fucking dude is so fun He's such a good dude. He's always at the store or the mother shit. Oh really? Basically. Yeah store New version of the store there's a reason the Front windshield is bigger than the back windshield look forward not backwards Theobon's version of him. It's hilarious Theo does an impression of jelly roll you never see him no jelly rolls inspirational speeches fine They don't just win the award. He's gotta be like everyone needs to get better He's like theo vaude like fucking he was doing the green room the other day. We were on the floor We were crying theo vaude's got compilations on YouTube.

3:08:34He's so quick He's so funny. Yeah, he's so funny. He's coming here in July. Oh, he's gonna be here in July and he's gonna look for houses Here we go Oh man, he just he's so full of feelings bro. He gets up there. He's just like That's it beautiful more than just feelings Yeah, it's a lot going on. There's a lot of things happening there great guy. He's been a prison really yeah, the real deal Yeah, I think that's why he's so nice. Yeah, I think nice guy. He's so nice. He's so full of love I think it's because he's experienced so many fucking shit my wants in his life and now he's realizing You're done, right?

3:09:36Yeah, I'm done. Hi, please. Yeah, he's a good dude. He looks like if Ralphie may have like a Post -Belone filter I hope we don't lose him post -Beloney Being that big is post -Beloney being that big is dangerous. Yeah You know whenever we lose people that are so awesome like Patrice or Ralphie or this fuck man. That's controllable Yeah, super fat guys. It's like the endus. It's all like it's common man. It's common. It's scary But some of those guy you know Joey lost a lot of weight. Joey was big at one point. Oh, yeah But you know, it's crazy like that coincided with Joey becoming amazing Joey was like built a football player when I first met Joey was like built a thug fat became this you mean associated with him becoming amazing No, he became fat and then he became insanely funny It all happened at the same time like Joey when I first met him was like fresh out of prison and I was on news radio and he was at the store and I met him and I like bring him to the center's radio And he'd be like fucking he would go into like the there was the green room that was only for the executives and Joey would go in there and eat all the shrimp Like who is this guy He's not he was fucking house man.

3:10:52He was a big dude like big but big like Fick strong and you know, I he fucking he was this guy that like I knew guys like him From New York from are you pissing again? No, what are you doing Shitting sure everything safe on the floor. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, but he was like like When I was in LA, I was like god. I was so used to East Coast people the west coast like actor people It was it was like they were poison ivy I was like very very weird. I was so confused coming from the comedy scene of New York Coming from danger fields and working with auto and George and rich boss noise animals And then also dummy I'm in LA with these fucking weirdos.

3:11:37It's odd The weird thing about LA comics was like none of the new sports at all What's like aliens? They were just like tending to that. I don't know sports, but you had some sports you like They were like I don't know literally don't even know the rules. Yeah, but you know UFC. Yeah, but the one the one thing But back then it didn't even exist Back then when I first came to LA there was no UFC This you're into pool something something yeah, I was in a combat sports. I was in a kickboxing I knew I could tell you obscure moita guys But I didn't know anything about sports and people would always give me shit about it Yeah, like who won the Super Bowl.

3:12:14I'm like, what about is that? What is that? No, it's over. That's why I was yesterday. Oh, that was been weird and Boston growing up Not knowing the Bruins the Celtics the Pates. I don't give a fuck. I think I'm a fuck really Just actually didn't give a fuck. I didn't want no, I didn't care even chicks care. I think her In the W .A. Yeah, but I was just like no, I would be so sick of Angel Reese. Yeah, it's just like it's it's funny that beef is the only thing that's bringing All the attention to WNB a lot of lesbians. Well, I lesbian get that rose beef Yeah, let it be lesbos Yeah, let it be lesbos Let it be who they are She's getting but pushed around boys time to get some food and do some fucking jokes Yeah, let's get about a bit.

3:13:06Little early set five sixteen. Yeah, I was just what eight I'm gonna keep going we could bomb no shows it seven we could bomb one more of the boys We should we should bomb one more with these I like these things tilt you gotta tilt it down Tilt the world All right tilt it. Well, how many how many piss cans you got over there? I'm gonna take care of But five you know we haven't played in a long time boys what free bird. Oh Yeah If we're gonna go America. Yeah, just start it now. We're gonna go for full bull Bud light full America Jump full kid rock how much piss did you leave on the floor with the fuck what are you doing you wrapping what?

3:13:51Put that the garbage Wow Wow Seven these guys man they're the kings Yeah, look at the dixies behind Jesus Norman I'm ready It's okay Keep playing not live what do you do the regular version? Yeah, but so good though to watch it live But keep going keep going with that Jimmy Keep going with that live version because I want to see people dancing. Yeah, look at them all having a fuck a time of the lives That's No black people Yeah, this is the greatest guitar solo in the history of the world They're going nuts they got nothing else You know when they open up for the Rolling Stones the Rolling Stones were shitting their pants and this is going on Really god damn and they weren't supposed to go out onto the lip and they went out onto the lift I don't like fuck it wait they told them not to yeah, I told them not to they like fuck you Don't like we're performing look at that skinny twink just ripping and all the light God damn this is good I do I feel like the the founding fathers looking down like We did it Look at the crew and they're from Florida.

3:16:04That's right Jacksonville Florida Is that where lip is this one? All right, let's miss the Jacksonville Jacksonville Beach Never been to a crossfit class in their life. That's pre -ozymbic. That's tenies pre -ozymbic Well Here goes How did they all stay so skinny because they were doing this all night Look at that guys a rail it's like a tampon There were neat process foods They continue the bulge God damn God damn this is good What a country Let's go Look at these motherfuckers open open leather vests Yeah, let a pants with a hot with the drawstring that he Oh What are these guys doing now Well, there's a big crash I think I'm a big crash mark Norman I fucking I'm a big man There's three right There's three right there Here comes the jump Cook came Look at that fucking crowd imagine to follow this Oakland has changed You know I just have to follow this I wish I was like You got a pride there sugar after this guy Oh this guy That guy is a fuck Yeah One guy standing there like what is happening what am I seeing yeah so many have you ever seen a boring thuzyastic crowd I got one I got one what Enter Sam and Moscow Oh 91 Moscow He's now like 500 ,000 people It's the fall of the Soviet Union We sent rock and roll over there just to be like we sent a towel Wait for you see this Oh my god The light Moscow The light in the head Yes, it's your sick Wow white piano If there was a time though that I could go back in time and see a concert this would be it This might be the best con dude there's a part in this video where a soldier takes his he's like unbuttoned his uniform and he's just like 91 This is a year after high all honey I'm home This is a let it play It's right this is art yes this is it all right Wow enter Sam and live Moscow 1991 let it play Let it play jayma pre -putin look at how many people there are like the soldiers everywhere how many people are out there wait for it dude I'm gonna drink to this America's number one Oh, he's still hot in the youngs before he four Napster before Napster Yeah, you should have shut the fuck up about Napster relax bro you're a punk Shit he's got the squat go my god look at this crowd Look at the crowd That's fully loaded outdoor gig Fuck Oh my god I'm ready to run through a fucking wall This hair shake on my guy dies dick What happened to rock and roll What do we got cold play Here we go Pyro tech oh shit It's Joe a beer for Christ's sake God damn Yeah Wolf look at that fucking crowd Sleep on one Hey So clean and bit This is why YouTube's great Yeah, don't need concerts come closest like what else you mean?

3:21:09Wembley queen Wembley queen obviously Billy Joel in Russia when they're trying to tell him like turn it It's like stop you from dancing and he goes shut the fuck up stop bothering them Billy Joel. Yeah, I need like Russia, yeah, he won't do that now Brickley Rainer taught a lot of people the lesson about fucking around in Russia He goes stop. Stop trying to light on him She did her time like a man Yeah, Wembley queen that's the biggest one. Is that the line? You know what the sickest one is is it's I saw Axel Rose in Greece. It's Axel Rose in Athens. Yeah, I saw I saw guns and roses in Athens Sick I was there in a restaurant and a ran into Axel Rose.

3:22:06He was at a restaurant. Yeah, just randomly I was eating in there Rosie Yeah, and a friend of mine my friend Brian Brian Merer rescue He saw him and he was like Axel roses here. I tried to say hi to him He's like this shoot and I'm like damn I wonder if Axel knows who I am like should I go say hi? Yeah, I had to walk by his table. Yeah, and I was a little drunk and I walked by his table I was like hey man, what's up? And he's like has this look on his face like and he's like oh, hey, what's up? I was like fuck he knows my name We started talking he's like telling me bits that I did See like you want to come to the show like fuck yeah, I want to come to the show Yeah, and so the next night we saw Axel Rose and and fucking slash and Backstage Athens in Greece last year he saw my restaurant.

3:22:54I saw him in a restaurant Just fucking fully random Thing you want I was there in my whole family you gotta pay me I took my whole family to see guns and roses. No, there's one We had a great time. The daughters get it. Oh, they love it my youngest is a fan of guns and roses So funny all the hardcore rock becomes kids music 20 years later in that weird Like when I was in high school everybody was into the doors like I was in high school in the 80s and the doors were in the 60s Yeah, that's how it works like you find out the cool shit What was the cool shit back then you know everybody was in the Zeppelin the doors AC DC 60s music and Cars like nobody give a fuck about like I was in high school.

3:23:45Don't be a fuck about a 1984 car They wanted 60s cars. That's true. You see a kid now a Gen Z's got a Nirvana shirt on 100 % Yeah, I don't know what it means no Do you remember the first time I heard Nirvana? There's a kid that lived in my neighborhood that used to steal car radios. I was buying a car radio It was back when they had those blonde punk stereos that would like pull out like I bought a stolen one and I installed it myself We connected And so I was over this two house my friend Jimmy and he's like you got to listen to this man Listen to this shit. This is the new shit. It was Nirvana and we were like in his house.

3:24:29We like whoa Sound it was a different sound. It was like a different like grunge. Oh, it is this and it killed hair bands Kill them like poison and they're like poison killed him like like point kill point it poisoned poison Poison poison yeah, can't really poison she did that mark on it say allegedly allegedly Legally, it's really important. You ever see that documentary. Yeah, yeah, he allegedly definitely did it What is this? 1992 yeah, the most epic concerts of all time appearing really guys. I have this up Remember the first time I heard that I was like holy shit. Yeah, what the hell they were so different It was so cool.

3:25:15He was the real deal. He fucked a root tart in high school. Yeah, they made that documentary on HBO I'm not a doctor better about me It was a different sound Yeah There's like times in history where like new sounds emerge and usually it's because of drugs Uh -huh or somebody went back to the future Oh Phil Hartman was a Clemenples He used to work at whiskey of gogo when he was like 18 years Phil Phil was in charge of making sure that the the the Speakers didn't fall off the stage. So Hendrix is whiskey had a little stage at Hendrix was on stage and Phil's job when he was 18 years old was to stand there and keep his hands up in case like someone went crazy and kick the speaker Didn't fall into the crowd what so Phil's job was to stand on the side of the edge of stage like right there And he said I'm fucking Hendrix is right above me.

3:26:39So this is like And I remember he was smoking pot is back when I didn't smoke weed We smoking pot in the green room or in his dressing room rather at news radio. Wow You tell me these stories. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He smoked. Oh, yeah. He loved to smoke weed. He would smoke weed and go strip clubs What yeah, he's the last Hartman. Yeah, Phil Hartman took me to strip club and he smoked weed and he would Treat the ladies as if they were displaying Amazing works of art like incredible This is amazing I think they'll fuck me up. He was so happy if it dude next week. I don't like when it dude next to me's horny He was it was so I know what I'm saying like if a dude was like wow if you knew that guy It was the beauty of him it wouldn't bug you but he told me the story about him He's 18 years old and he's working at the whiskey and Hendrix was on stage in front of him He's like those watching crazy from like Damn four feet away Damn yeah, and just stand out Wow This is like Hendrix when he emerged like all of a sudden there's like this you with you think like Nirvana was a new sound We like from buddy Holly love love me do That shit to you voodoo child From that to voodoo child.

3:28:10Yeah, it was bizarre like it's a big joke even like Take rock and roll ad drugs move But people that like we're like rock stars would go to see him Eric Clapton went to see him was like what am I doing right what the fuck am I doing like look at this guy? It's like a kinesan yeah Everybody's doing Cosby and then this fat preacher shows Yeah, kinesan kinesan young comedian special it was like Bob whatever sagas now some guy with like big shoulder pat Who put balloons in his arm like this is a football button else and he's like oh And then sag it was on there and then and then kinesan was like hey, I'm about to change everything now with these six minutes Yep, it's be real and then dice sold out the gun.

3:28:52Yep. Yep. Yeah, those guys those two guys and hated each other was crazy really Yeah, that's alpha ego. I know so stupid it happens But back then everybody was so scared it was all dog eat dog that could only be one right You know, it was all like yeah to get on the tonight show you know there's no internet Yeah, and then also there was no like arena comics. They didn't exist Steve Martin got in there then got out Me and Nate went over to spades house for And sonnable the championship game the football game and then we were looking he's got like a museum of his stuff And it was him and rock doing evening at the improv Wow, and Nate was like you did improvs back then he was like dude No one did theaters that that wasn't even an idea You would do six days in an improv instead of two Yeah, if you were successful, it wasn't even a thought you could do it I think dain was the first guy that did like arena's reggaers reggaers really yeah, well maybe dice no dice dice for sure And then but nobody for 25 years But nobody for a while and then dain came along and then dain started doing arenas when was blue collie That changed it up to That was a little bit after that I can and king's a comedy and Ron white just emerged emerged from that Yeah, yeah, yeah Like a friend when Ron white goes on stage at the fucking mothership in Austin, Texas They know he's from Texas people go.

3:30:10Yeah fucking crazy But it's also like he's not resting on that he's part of the reason why I'm here man Yeah, because when Ron told me about he moved here in like 2017 And I'd call him up. I'm like what the fuck are you doing? He's like well, man. I fucking love it here I don't have to travel I can fucking fly when I fly it's like middle of the country. It's great People are nice foods amazing. I was like shit. I started thinking like maybe I can live in Texas. I'm like You gotta rethink like I have to be in LA Yeah, I was at back then like the podcast was the only thing that I'd ever did that was really like taking off I was like I can't move Stay here.

3:30:49I need my guests you were lying on your path. You just you just like it was like weird It was like this is the thing that I'm doing that all sudden is popular Yeah, I never thought it was gonna be it's just like all of a sudden it happened It wasn't a planet all like are you in the beginning? We opened up a laptop with a fucking webcam Get in here get closer because we won't be on camera otherwise and the whole thing was just for fun Yeah, it was almost like I feel like a magnet was 600 people watching that's And you got a really red band. It was like a thousand people two thousand people and then it was just streaming and then Dan I remember I was on stage at the Chicago theater This is like years later and I didn't still didn't understand how many people watch because I never looked at the numbers Yeah, I was like I don't want to look at the numbers like I don't I just want to do it to my best That's it.

3:31:38I'm on stage at the Chicago in its sold out like 3700 people I go I go I saw I was telling the story go I want you guys listen to the podcast and just went Yeah And I'll never forget that day. I was like whoa what year was that 2011? What 2000? Yeah, bro somewhere around then I was like oh shit That's a while I was like this is crazy and then I started really what am I doing? Yeah, keep going Yeah, let's get a tape on ever asked Just keep going yeah, I didn't ask Did it keep going? Yeah, I didn't know that story. That's great. It was a weird story Because the whole time when we first started doing microphones Yeah, we had microphones to be with the first We had one microphone that would sit on the table.

3:32:21Oh yeah, ball mic. Yeah, and then eventually we got Smikero and then we eventually moved it into one of my spare bedrooms And then eventually I said okay too many weird like people are coming to my house like this can't be happening Oh, I remember that you're like yeah, too many porn stars around my kids There you go too many weirdos. Yeah, we got to do this at like some kind of a like a place Yeah, you're like what you're buying a separate place to do this thing. I know I was like what I remember people Tell me why he's spending money on this I'm like, why do you care what I'm spending money on?

3:32:49Yeah, I'm gonna fuck kind of question this is yeah, and there was no future in it Like your wasting your time. It wasn't even like it's like there was no money in it. No money To be a appetizer. It was nobody listening. So nobody is it what kept driving you? It was fun It was fun, but it was also like a magnet. I really believe there's a man I think that sometimes fate pulls you into a certain direction. I just think that's horseshit But I think there might be a little bit of something to that now Like maybe you can say that after you've done it and it's become successful. I was fake Oh no, man.

3:33:23Well, I've list I've gone back because they're all they're all still this Yeah, and they're old as shit and like you get like a bill burr and you guys are connected on another level It's it's weird because it's not about like oh there's a million people listening It just felt like a conversation and it's still fun, but that's the thing It's like if you can just keep that and never pay attention to how many people are listening It but there wasn't even inkling of like oh wait hold on. I'm not sure if it's true about those things I hope I'm sure maybe like I was saying It would just we just talk it in 12 people and again like half the time when you're talking You don't even know what you're saying while you're saying like right figure this out like make this sound like a real sentence Yeah, we had no experience and then Ari was always telling me how to edit it Listen to an hour.

3:34:07Nobody wants to watch I was incorrect I mean Three minutes or less it was that was the thing back then. Yeah, just people didn't think that anybody had an attention span I like yeah, they're like this is the way it goes and then I'm like okay, don't listen I just yeah, I'm just so stuck like well, they can just stop it an hour. Yeah But I was always just so stubborn and it was like I'm every time anybody's told me to do something different than my instincts It's always been wrong. Mm -hmm. I'm just gonna not listen to anybody ever do it before in between shows and then like and then like Hey, I gotta go on Joey and and and Rogan keep going and then I get off Joey was on now me and Rogan to go on and then Dice house.

3:34:46Yeah, and Cobbs upstairs a cop and then Rogan would go on and me and Joey would do for a while podcast on a plane I'm playing we swap cast. Yeah, we swap cast and we did it with the iPhone We did with the iPhone just recorded with the audio only and then God damn the people around us was like lower your voices What The stewardess in My biggest regrets is not asking her if she's ever seen somebody fucking a bathroom Well Is anybody join them? We would like So I was like oh she's doing here when we said it was a podcast. They were like what does that mean? What is that? Nobody knew what it was hey Cuz we were like a regular conversation like hey, so what are we doing later?

3:35:40It was like yeah, so I was at the Do No, no, we're sitting in first one on the way we do one of the regular than we do one of the way to Australia There's a bunch of people we did one of the way that's true I opened up a box of fucking muffins of of marijuana muffins allegedly allegedly open it up and it The whole first class And Joe's like what the fuck You're gonna go to jail forever This Did really happen that's why it's so happened One of the beautiful things about podcasts a lot of times we lie there's a lot of allegedly a lot of legiles A lot of lie a lot of theatrical Yeah, so like literature Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

3:36:32I got a piss. So let's end this I beat you on the piss. I love you guys I love you guys Guys you're the best Protect our parks to see the world We love you always yeah, god bless America. We've been up Go see Queen Love You