#2176 - Chad Daniels

23:53You can exume them years later and find fentanyl traces and shit like a, if you believe, if you believe like in something else, like something's going on after life wise, I mean, the soul's gone anyways. It's the vessel that you're putting in the ground or letting vultures eat. And if you believe that this person was murdered, like do a better job now. Like how much time do you need? You know, do it and film it and get, get all your, I guess maybe like that. Remember that HBO show, autopsy, Jive Remember that show? There's a great show, but this guy, Dr. Michael Baden and Dr. Michael Baden would always catch like husbands that poison their wives secretly or wives that are poisoned all their husbands and people that kill people like in secret sneaky ways and gotten away with it.

24:37And then he gets on the case and he finds like really crazy, crazy examples. One of them was this one guy and after his wife had died, I don't even know if it was his wife. It was maybe his girlfriend, but he, he kept buying cases of perfume. And no one can figure out why this guy was doing this. But he left his wife in the bed and never reported that she was dead and kept fucking her and put like a mask on her and then eventually put like some artificial vagina down there. And the perfume he was pouring perfume on her to mask the decay. And so eventually finally they caught him, but they got this images of what used to be his wife with like a mask on the face.

25:23And the there was clothes on what's left of this body. And then there's this like tube where the vagina is. And this fucking psycho was banging her corpse and like passing out from the smell and just cases of perfume. This dude was just pouring perfume over her corpse. I feel like I can solve that crime. You have to be in the room. I mean, you have to be like in the neighborhood or something. You have to, if you ever smell the body, when I was a kid, the apartment that we lived in in New Jersey, this guy died on one of the floors and the smell is insane. It's so specific. It's so different. A rotting human body apparently has a very unique odor in like the corners and the guys they called in, like when there's a smell, they know what it is right away.

26:13They go, that's a person. This is a different than a dog. Yeah. I was going to say my stine, my garage and I can't go in there for two days. Yeah. I mean, it sucks. So a person's got my god. It was horrible. It's the whole hallway. It couldn't specify like where it was coming from. It was like a skunk. You know, it was everywhere. The whole hallway just reeked this like it was just like the universe letting you know, get out of there. Get the fuck out. It's giving you this smell. Not just New Jersey. I mean, that hallway. Sure. It was it's giving you that's the smell of death. It's a very specific smell.

26:47You know how the guy died? I don't remember. I was a little kid. No. I think I was five at the time, but I just I'll never forget that smell. It's like, whoa. Because he was in there for a while. You know, he's had some loaner. And he's just fucking one day kicked the bucket and took a while for anybody to figure it out and they figured it out because of the smell. And then how long did I take him to get him out of there? I don't remember. I was too little. I don't remember. But it was a very, very specific smell. It was gross. But it is weird. What we do, it's weird that Joey Diaz was trying to lay this out to me.

27:21He's like, Joe Rogan, it's a fucking scam. This is the scam. Even if you want to get cremated, they got him bombed you first. They got him bombed you first. And you're going to buy a urn. You got to buy. They got you. They got you for 10, 14, 15 grand every time. They're going to tell you a grandfather wants a beautiful coffin. He's fucking dead. What are we doing? It's like this weird thing that everybody does where you have to get your, your person embalmed and then you get them made up. Which is the creepiest. My, my daughter has a friend who, her boyfriend's sister died and she's getting into makeup and hair for a living and they asked her to do the makeup and hair of the dead sister.

27:59Why the fuck would you, like someone has to sign up for that? Yeah, that has to be your very specific job. That's not regular makeup. Yeah, it's not like you go into, you know, like a, a great clips or something and ask somebody like, Hey, my grandpa died. Can you come help? But I might haunt you for the rest of your life, especially if you know the person. I'd like a Viking funeral. Oh, Viking funeral scope. But a Viking funeral again, you're kind of wasting the body. If you just put it in the ground, that's what's supposed to be. You're supposed to go back to nature. I guess a Viking funeral eventually you get back into the system.

28:33You just take it the long run. Yeah, yeah. You turn back into carbon again. This is going to take so much time, but you're going right into microbes. And essentially what's inside of you starts eating you first if I'm not mistaken. I think all the bacteria in your body start, you start breaking down from that stuff. I think a lot of weird things happen. But then the stuff on the outside, it flares out your dead. And then the soil starts devouring you going for it. Have you seen the people that get put into trees? Yeah. That's a pile. That makes sense. Makes sense. Or like a diamond. Yeah, get pressed down.

29:05But trees definitely live well off of a fertilizer. It comes from dead animals. Yeah, they eat what's there. They take it in, suck it up, which is what fertilizer is, which is why our food sucks. Because we give them fake food. We feed, we basically feed our process food, process food, right? Because nitrogen is what we take nitrogen to a bunch of other bullshit chemicals. And we pour it on this dead topsoil so that these poor corn can survive. And then we eat the corn and there's like no nourishment. And they're like, what are we doing? Yeah. I remember like in third grade, they taught us about crop rotation.

29:42And you're driving by these fields and you're like, this has been fucking corn since I was in third grade. It's no way to rotate. Yeah. That's what they're all doing in the regenerative farms, regenerative farms. They move everything around. That's how you're supposed to do it. That's why everyone's done it from the beginning of time. What is that? Mushrooms that eat your body. To suit you where to get buried and then you turn into mushrooms. But they can bomb you man. Unless you live in a place that lets you opt out of that. Unless this is for another country. What are the laws in America? Let's find out what the laws are.

30:16When you die, do they have to embalm you? Because this is what Joey was saying. But that might have been very specific. It might be regional, you know, it might be like certain cities. They embalm you before you go into a cooker. Yeah. That's what you're saying. Oh, I didn't know that. I thought you just went in. It's not required by law. No, required, but they probably talk to you anyway. That's that's what it is. It says in fact the FTC funeral law forbids any funeral home from stating the conjure. Interesting. That's because they've done it. Oh, absolutely. All they're trying to do is shame you make you feel bad.

30:46Listen, you have to embalm them before you cremate them. Your grandfather came in here earlier until this he wanted to be embalmed. Is it necessary? According to federal law, it's forbidden to declare that embalming can be can entirely stop the process of decomposition. Oh, but that's different. But that's probably why I guess though. Right. It's entirely forbidden to declare that a bomb, but is it, but is it, is it mandatory? Is it bought? Do that is involving mandatory? I was giving more. It's not required by federal law in the United States. And no funeral homes can claim that it is. That's interesting.

31:20However, there are some circumstances where embalming may be required state law. Okay. Some states require embalming. If the body is not refrigerators held in transit for one to 24 hours, other states require embalming. If the death was caused by contagious disease or if the remains are being transported between states. So funeral homes were required in bombing. If the family chooses a service with a bit. Okay. That's probably visitation open cascademic sense. Cemetery may require embalming. If the remains are being tuned in a mausoleum, ill. Yeah, that's a lot. Embomming can help their loved ones.

31:55See their loved ones for the last time. You know what? I have only been to one funeral where I saw one of my loved ones. It was my grandfather. And I was like, he is not there. Like whatever they left there, that is just not that's not my grandpa. He's gone. Yeah. When they go, he looks so natural. Well, he wasn't fucking orange when I knew him. Fuck no. No, he does not look natural. He looks weird. Yeah. There's like a part of you that knows that whatever a person is in their soul, whatever a soul is, it's off. Yeah, that's gone. It's off. Yeah, it's gone. And it's weird. It's a weird feeling that you get when you're around a dead body.

32:28It's like, especially one that you knew so well. Oh, yeah. It's a wake up call, you know, because you just realized like, oh my God. Like this is this, this comes for everyone. One day everyone in your life is going to go like that. And if you're lucky, you're going to see it. Is that what the luck is? You know, if you live long enough, I was switching phone numbers the other day. And I was going over my phone, my, uh, my contact list and there's so many people in there that are dead. I was kept pulling out people that were dead. I was like, oh, he's gone. Like he's gone. It was crazy. How long has it been since you switched last time?

33:02Well, it's just I got a bunch of old numbers, you know, from dudes that I haven't talked to in forever. That, you know, you just, yeah, with your iPhone, you just keep getting a new number. Yeah. And you just somehow know that all the numbers come with you. There were so many of my friends that are dead. So it's so sobering, you know, when you just start counting the numbers, like, oh, fuck, Normic Donald. Oh, fuck. You know, and you just go through all of it and you're like, fuck, fuck, he's gone too. You know, yeah, I'm getting to the age where that's about to start happening, I think. It happens, you know, and sometimes it happens and you do not see it coming in.

33:38It hits you like a train, especially when they take their own life. You're like, what? Yeah. Jesus Christ. And then there's always that guilt of like, fuck, maybe if I talk to him, maybe if I had one conversation, or maybe that's just your ego. Yeah, because I don't, I think once you're over that line, I don't think there's a lot of pulling it back. Perhaps, but I think every circumstance is different. Yeah, I guess there's that one dude that used to live by a bridge. And he would go out and talk guys off the ledge. And so I mean, I guess maybe that it was one guy that jumped and he lived. He's one of the rare guys that lived and he said, as he jumped, he'd realize what a horrible mistake he made.

34:20And he wanted to take it back, but he couldn't. And he lived, but he was all fucked up, but lived a happier life. Like was thankful that he was alive, which is kind of crazy. Yeah, I used to bartend and this dude would come in and he was missing his jaw. He's talking on the 200 people off the ledge. Yeah, that's amazing. Highway Patrol officer. I bet that guys are smooth talker. I have a buddy who jumped off that bridge. No shit. Yeah. Tony Anagoni, who's a professional pool player. Good dude. I hadn't talked to him in a while. I hadn't talked to him in a couple of years. And then I saw it in the news.

34:58I was like, fuck. Yeah. It's one of those things, man, where it's just like when it happens, you just get jolted, especially the suicide ones. It's like, what? Yeah, when you had no clue. Because like, you think about that person when you're all having fun together. You think about that person when you're sitting around laughing, cracking jokes. Especially if it's the life of the party. It does it. Right. I could have picked 10 other guys besides you. Well, imagine Robin Williams. Imagine watching Robin Williams on it. And you just see that commercial or he's doing a commercial and he won't stop fucking around.

35:32I don't think so. And the director's trying to get him to stop fucking around. He's like, will not stop fucking around. I love him. He's doing the different characters and shit. And he's like, okay, Robin, can we focus now? And Robin's just fucking going off. Yeah. That guy you would never imagine could ever be sad. You know, I was an extra in a movie with him, Billy Crystal and Julie's Louise Dreyfus. And I, he, some two people were sick. They went back to their traders and I was interviewing him and he did it as Mrs. Doubtfire. And it was fucking awesome, man. Everybody was losing a good play at Jamie.

36:05I was see it.

36:09I said to him, I said, for like, I know what you're saying, black man. It's already great. Look at his back into the camera. Like is a different guy. Robin just do the line so we can get out of the camera. I heard everything. For me, this place is fabulous. I want to be the line for you, Robin. The line is the introduction. Just the one line that you got to do, okay, please? I will. Yes, sir. Okay. Fowl ball, a mayo hygiene spray. You know, sometimes below the water line, you could rick. That's why I need new foul ball. Something the part vera thing, I left that down. Sorry. This is fabulous. I couldn't believe Bobby just can't do calls.

36:49Would you do the line now? Just the introduction. One line, okay? Yes. Okay. Hello, I'm Toulton Huston. No, I have very few Jewish friends, if any. But I'd like to say, won't you please help support the United Goiim College front? Help learn a child to eat hot talks this year, mayonnaise and corn biscuits. Can we get another actor in please? How give me a chance, please. I need this. I want to say. I need to. I need to. I need to. I need to. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to cut camera. You got to do the line now. Just, all right? Can we hear it please? The other thing has been for America.

37:25She chose for Moscow. But she don't even put it in love now. So from here when you tell your spare love, then. You know, what I would have loved to have seen, actually, is if they could have combined and dropped off funeral and the Olympics and had him in the Bob sled run. All right. I'm ready, hard. All right. Can we get it now? Yes, sir. I think it is. Do you want me to hold the cue card? No. Yeah, I can. The one that says the opening commercial. Okay. Yes, very good. Storm. That's a German name, isn't it? Storm. It's something to talk. I love that old storm. Come here, boy. Hey. Off the leg.

37:57We're ready now. Here we go. I'm ready to say that line hard because I love you. I love you for the man that you are. An incredible man. More than just one night. A man who can... I don't know, make you realize. Ouch. Who are you? I'm ready now. Okay. You're ready. Thank you, Mr. Williams. Thank you, Howard. Yes. Howard Storm is now directing commercial. Again, I can get it this time. Yeah. One more. Hi. I'm Jack Nicholson. You know, Howard Storm is directing goddamn commercials. It's incredible that he can find a camera small enough to work with, but God bless him for trying. His first commercial was Billy Bardy on a footstool.

38:42God. I love the fact that the man takes chances. Thank you, man. Yeah. You just wasn't gonna do it. He's a maniac. That's incredible. He's odd, dude, for sure. People get mad when you bring up the joke -thieving allegations with that guy. But that's just what it was. That went on for over 13 minutes. It's only one - That's hilarious, too. And half minutes of it. Yeah, people think you're not supposed to talk about that part. But that was part of him. Yeah, you have to talk about everything. The guy still was great. He was still great. He was very odd. I wonder if his brain worked so quickly that sometimes it was out before he knew it.

39:24Perhaps, you know, you could excuse someone for a lot of things. You know, I don't know how his brain worked. Obviously, he had like mental problems, which wound up. There was a lot of physical problems that wound up contributing to his suicide. But depression was part of that, too. But it was like, you have to also put it in context. There wasn't anybody like him back then. There was Jonathan Winters, who he took inspiration from, who a lot of people forgot about. Jonathan Winters was like really weird like that. He would do really weird crazy stuff and act like just like different characters and just wouldn't be there and just would hold on to it.

40:02And people would like panic and they wouldn't know what to do. I think he took a lot of inspiration from Jonathan Winters, who was an amazing talent, too. But Robin was like very unique. It was really nobody like him. And he could act as a ass off man. He was a really good morning Vietnam. Like, he was good in movies, too. Yeah, I like good new hunting. Yeah, man. Yeah, and serious rules. How about that 24 hour photo? Do you ever see that? Yes. Bro. Creepy. Creepy. Yeah, he played a good psycho. It was very, very good. But like, you would never imagine a guy like that would hit the rocks where he'd wind up killing himself.

40:38Like, no way. And then you start to wonder like, was the comedian part of him the show and the 24 hour photo was the real deal? I doubt the 24 hour photo was the real deal. I think the real deal was like a deeply depressed person. And the reason why they were so good at getting people entertained is because they needed so much more than the average person just to hit like a baseline. You know, I think when people are super depressed and then they use comedy as like a way to just like a drug to just get them like Richard Jenny apparently was only happy when he's killing and then when he got off stage, he was depressed.

41:13Oh, God. He's another guy that wound up killing himself. That's like an hour a day that you're happy. Yep. And he was like the most miserable guy guaranteed like when I would do morning radio, I would always ask the guy the driver's like, who's the worst guy after driving around? And they always would say Richard Jenny. He hated it. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to talk to anybody. He was miserable. He was so fucking funny. Dude is weird. He wanted to be a movie star apparently. So back then in the 1980s and 90s, like what the thing was was you would graduate into movies like a Jim Carrey or into TV like a Seinfeld and you ever you're on show, but everybody really wanted movies.

41:52That was the thing. And he never got any of those. He was only in like one movie. He was in the mask with Jim Carrey. Okay. And he had a show on the UPN called Platypus Man. I remember that. It was terrible. But his standup was brilliant. His standup was incredible. He was so good. We all like would just be in awe of him. I remember him doing a bit at the comedy works in Montreal. This little tiny room in Montreal is a great room. Run by this amazing guy named Jimbo. Jimbo was the best. And this room is only like a 90 -seat room. And it was during the Just for Laughs comedy festival. And Richard Jenny went up and he did a bit about buying a Corvette.

42:31Like what an unrelated premise. What a premise where you like, how do you get anything out of this? And was murdering. Just murder. I can't remember what he said, but I was crying laughing. We were crying laughing. It was so funny. And there were so many punchlines in there. And it was so his sense of irony, his sarcasm, the way he would hit the punchlines, the writing. It's like all day he prepared for the sets. And then he would just go into a darkness and just get ready to do it again. That's brutal. Horrible. I knew his girlfriend. His girlfriend was a comic, too. One of his girlfriends at the time.

43:09I don't think she was the girlfriend at the time that he killed himself. But she was a comic at the store and she would just tell me, you know, it's just like, the guy's so brilliant, but he's like, so eating up. Yeah, it's some people can't find balance. Oh, sucks, man. When they're that good, you just like want to hug them. Just like, come on, man. Keep it together. Just want to go. Just enjoy the rest of it. I've told the story before, so I apologize to anybody that's hurt it. But he went to the East Side Comic Club in Huntington, in, um, I wasn't hunting to beach. It was a long Island. East Huntington, I forget where it was, but East Side Comic Club is a great comic club on Long Island.

43:45And I went there on a Sunday and I talked to the guy that was the MC all weekend and he was depressed. And I said, why are you depressed? He goes, Richard Jenny did a different hour every show. He did four different hours and killed. He goes, I'm up there. He goes, I have 20 minutes that I'm opening with. And I could barely get through them. They suck. And then I'm bringing on this genius who does a different hour every fucking show. And he goes, it makes you want to quit comedy. I think you might have quit comedy. Cause I never heard from him. I think I really think that might have done him in.

44:16Like I think he was around for like a year or two after that, but I think that was it. That is tough to watch though. When you're working with a master, you're not even close to it yet. It's like those dudes who fought Mike Tyson in the early days. Like you never saw that again. Yeah. I like I've been late for a show twice in my life. And both times it was from watching Mike Tyson's greatest hits. Oh wow. They will they will drive you crazy. There was there was a time like in like 1986, like whatever it was when he lost a buster, Douglas went, there's never been a heavyweight like him. I think he was the greatest of all time.

44:47I think it was the greatest of all time for a short period of time. But I think you have to look at a fighter in particular. They can't keep it up forever. It's too crazy. They only have a few years in this like high revolution, high rev red line prime. And that's what I try to judge him on. There's ways people judge fighters on longevity. What you like sugar rate Robinson or the best example of all time is Bernard Hopkins. Bernard Hopkins was a world champion when he was 49 years old. Crazy. Crazy. That's my crazy. And fucking up guys that were 20 years younger than him with ease. You know, that's why I hope he was a master.

45:27Just a masterful boxer who had incredible discipline and never lost focus and never got out of shape. And never ate bad food. Never ate processed anything. He always ate like clean organic food, drank water, no booze, fuck you. You know, up in the morning, always running, always cow's tanks, always was shredded, never gained weight in between fights. Even today, I had him on the podcast today, like a couple months ago. How many months ago, six months ago? Maybe a little longer. Something like that. Even now, guys like in his 50s, fucking shredded. I don't have to go. You don't have to. Yeah, I need the process food sometimes.

46:07And sometimes you'll comfort, you know, what do you think it was about Tyson? Do you think it was? I always equated to his legs and his coil. There was a lot of factors, a lot of factors. First of all, there was his upbringing, right? So he had a horrible, horrible upbringing. Okay. Just crime and violence in the worst neighborhood in Brooklyn. He lives in Bedstuy, right? So Brownsville, I think originally in Bedstuy, terrible neighborhoods, real bad. You know, a lot of crime, a lot of violence. And then at 13 years of age, he gets adopted by this guy, Customado, who's one of the greatest boxing minds of all time.

46:48And he's also a hypnotist. So from age 13 on, he's hypnotizing Mike and telling Mike, he's the greatest of all time. He's the greatest of all time. He's going to be the greatest heavyweight the world has ever seen. And then on top of it, you have crazy genetics. Mike, I had Terry Teddy Allison. He told me that when Mike was 13, he was knocking out a grown man. And they wouldn't believe he was 13. He'd bring him to boxing tournaments. They're like, how old's that kid? He was 13. He was, he's fucking 16. He goes, okay, he's 16. He put him in with the 16 year olds, he knocked the 16 year olds out.

47:21Yeah, he was a freak. So you have that sometimes, you know, you have kids that just have extraordinary genes. And then you have this perfect storm of a very intelligent person who is deeply neglected as a child. And then adopted by a genius, not just a boxing genius, but a genius in terms of psychology and life and philosophy and understood war. And like he was a war historian and he was a boxing historian. And he was also managed by this guy Jim Jeffries or Jim Jacobs rather. Excuse me. Jim Jacobs had Jim Jeffries tapes or James Jeffries. So he had like Jack Johnson and Jack Dempsey. He had all the film footage of like fighters that some of the greatest boxers of all time.

48:07Willie Pepp, you know, Floyd Patterson. And he had all this old footage on Reels. And he was like the biggest collector of old boxing footage. And Mike was being managed by him. So Mike would sit there all day and watch Jack Dempsey fight, watch Jack Johnson fight, watch Stanley Grab, watch these old, old killers, you know, these like these guys that existed, you know, decades ago and no one gets a chance to see them. Because you know, we're talking about 1980. You don't even have VHS tapes, right? When did they come along? They were like 82 or something like that, right? So he's getting like this is happening to him in the 70s, like late 70s.

48:49Like let's make sense of this. So he's 58. He's a year older than me. And so how old was he when he was 13? What year was it when he was 13 rather? So he was born in 60s. 46. I've been 79. 79. OK, no VHS. So he's the only way you can see these things is that they put them on television, which they might. But then you have to watch a while. It's on TV. You can't rewatch it again. There's no way to record anything. Or you know Jim Jacobs. If you know Jim Jacobs, Jim Jacobs, who also did the commentary on a lot of those. If you watch a lot of those old films, they're black and white and there's no sound.

49:29And they like put in sound later. And Jim Jacobs does the commentary. I know his voice. And he was a genius too. And they they had this incredible convergence of all these things that created Mike Tyson in like 1986 when people were like, holy shit. Yeah. When he would walk out there with no bathrobe and just fucking he was a. A perfect creation of the universe. Like the universe, all the factors that would come into play that makes something super special. All came in in his. I mean, to be a boxing champion. It could not have had a better convergence of mind, talent, background, and then the people that were influencing him.

50:11Yeah. He was wild. Yeah. He's being trained by Teddy Atlas when he's a little kid. Isn't it illegal to hypnotize a child? That's a good question. I would think there's got to be a question. Depends on what are your kids things they're possessed. That might be a good thing to hypnotize them. You think kids like, would you? Yeah. This is a shit chat. I have words for you. Like, oh, Billy, what the fuck is wrong with you, man? I'm sorry. I left you alone. I had to work. I had two jobs. I had to pay the bills. Billy's bouncing out the walls at home. He thinks he's possessed. Freaking. And you're like, watch the spoon.

50:45Yeah. It might be good to hypnotize that kid. But yeah, I would think hypnotizing anybody before they were aware of what the fuck that means. But I don't think hypnotizing is what people think it is either. I don't, I've only been hypnotized once. So I can't speak to like what the total potential of what someone can do with hypnosis is. But you're aware of what's going on. It's not like you're going to like take your clothes off and blow this guy. Like it doesn't make any sense. Like you're, you're just in a different state of consciousness. And it's almost like you're allowed to look at things for what they really are versus all this noise.

51:23It's around most of the ideas in your head. Where you're blaming other people when you should probably blame yourself when you know you were lazy. And that's why it went bad. And it wasn't like I see someone else's fault. And all that stuff that keeps people on the wrong track. That keeps people drinking too much and gambling too much. All those weird things that are going on your head. Like, it'll get past that. And you'll see you. Yeah. And you see you for a brief amount of time. And you kind of analyze what it is. It's fucking with you. And then someone who's like a good performance psychologist can implant ideas like help you implant ideas in your mind of how you're going to approach things from now on.

52:04How are you going to look at things from now on? I know a lot of fighters use them. A lot of fighters use hypnotists and performance coaches. The guy who did it to me is my friend Vinny Shoreman. And he does it to a lot of fighters. So he hypnotized a lot of fighters. And what does he, what does he put in there then? I think it depends. I think it's different for each fighter. What they need. Yeah. What they're missing. I mean, some fighters, there's a thing that happens with some fighters in the midst of a chaotic fight. They will forget about the game plan. And they will just go on instinct and start throwing down and they want to get knocked out.

52:38Or something goes bad. They panic. Not want to say panic, but they don't think straight. That's the best way to say it. Because they're still fighting. It's chaos. But you're letting that lizard brain take over. And you're not sticking to the game plan. Like the really good fighters know how even in these chaotic scrambles to keep things technical. Don't do anything that's going to get you caught. Like there's very, it looks nutty when you're watching it on television. But if you're watching a tactician like a Max Holloway or San Hagen or, you know, Sean O'Malley, like these fighters are very tactical.

53:16Everything they're doing is to elicit a reaction from you. And then they have counters based on how you do things. And then they start downloading how you're moving and reacting to things. And then they'll start plotting and moving. Anderson Silva was the very best at that. He would take the first round and he would just be kind of like moving with you and moving with you. And then towards the end of the round, he started fucking you up. But for the friend, he was just downloading. Anderson in his prime, you know, I'd never seen anything like him. He was in his prime. He was just downloading people's movements.

53:46And do you think those other fighters could see it in his eyes and they're like, Oh, fuck. Now he knows. Yeah, when he was at the top for sure, everyone was terrified of, oh my God. The one thing that they dig find out though, he had a flaw. And the flaw was if you didn't attack him, he didn't attack you. Like he wasn't willing to take stupid chances, especially with like big punches. Sure. Like this is guy Patrick Cote and Patrick Cote was a big puncher, like one punch KO guy. And they had the worst fight. It was a boring ass fight. And then Patrick, unfortunately, through a kick and blew out his knee.

54:17It was like the worst ending of a fight ever. Just is knee exploded. Just not getting hit. Just kind of twisted. Yeah, not getting hit at all. He just went to throw a kick and his knee was in a weird position. And it just blew apart. And he's like, God, it falls down. That's happened before it happened at Tom Aspenal recently. Through a kick, knee fell apart. Didn't even happen. Like it wasn't happening. Like where someone did something to him. He just threw a kick and his knee fell apart. I'd rather watch a guy get knocked unconscious than have that huge response to a part of their body blowing up.

54:46The knees are bad one, but the worst is a shin break. That's the very, very worst or an arm break, a forearm break or a shin break. Those are very hard to watch. Those are the hardest I've ever, I've seen four leg breaks in person. And they're, they're fucking horrific, man. They are fucking horrific. They hurt your soul. Oh, you got one. This is the worst one. Oh, that's Patrick right there. So watch how he does this. Look, it's so crazy. They're moving around and he, he goes like he's going to throw a kick and he just fucking moved weird out of nowhere, out of nowhere. His knee just exploded.

55:22Blue out his ACL. Torres Minesquis. Crazy. That's a tough dude. So for him to have that reaction, the toughest. He was an animal. Patrick O 'Tea was a fucking animal. But the fight was kind of boring because he was so dangerous. So Anderson couldn't, he couldn't lead, right? Because if you lead, you worry about being countered. So Anderson was not just really fucking good, but also really smart. He just knew when he could hit you and he knew when you could hit him and he would take his time. But again, once he got you figured, like as the fight went on, he would, like if he, if he made the fight boring, it was also a strategy.

56:04Because then you would be anxious and you would maybe do something to try to pick up the pace and he would crack you. So he's an old veteran. So he's just standing around going, I don't give a fuck about booze. Just like, I'm just moving around here. He did that with another guy, Brazilian guy, and tallest latest kind of the same thing. Boring ass fight, but a dangerous fighter and a really dangerous guy on the ground. tallest latest was a nasty jiu jitsu black belt. And so he was like, one of the ground, like I was fucking staying on the outside, just kind of barely win every round. But if you do something stupid, I'll fuck you up.

56:35And nobody did anything stupid. I'll tell you all that shit. Well, he was just so smart that he didn't care if people were booing. And then the UFC would get mad at him. They'd get mad at him because those performances, even though he's the greatest of all time, at the time he was for sure. In my eyes, he's still in the conversation. During his time period when he was running shit, still in my book, one of the, if not the greatest, the greatest of all, one of the greatest of all time, for sure. He's in the conversation, whatever that, the conversation is so subjective. And I changed my opinion on it all the time.

57:03But during that time period, he didn't give a fuck of people were booing. Yeah. He didn't care. He's like, so the UFC would get mad at him. But I was always of the mind that he's doing the 100 % correct thing. He's the best fighter. And to fight the best, you got to know when to attack, when not to attack. And sometimes you don't attack at all. Yeah. You sometimes, if he does something out of character and forces it, that was not his style. So for him to engage in a style that's not his style, then that's stupid. The smart thing is to fight to the best of your abilities. And unfortunately, some of those fights were not fun.

57:39But you also get the V -Tor belt for it fight from the same guy. You know, you get, you get the Okami fight. You get the Forest Griffin fight. You get all those insane knockouts, those highlight real knockouts. He was a monster man. In his prime, he was a monster. But if you can take the booze and the other guy can't. Yeah. Well, it was also like, he wasn't going to do anything stupid until he did. And then he did and he got knocked out by Chris Wideman because he was doing something stupid. That's literally what his demise was. It was the thing that kept him so invincible. His whole career. He would stay composed.

58:11No matter what happened, you just stay composed. You always knew when to attack, when not to attack, when to attack, when not to attack. He was just a genius. There's guys that like for a while, whatever those years are, where you like, you can't beat him. Like, no one's going to beat him for these years. And that's just because of his strategy, watching you move. Well, he was just so, he was also so good at being the champion, right? There's a thing about performing in front of so many people with such high stakes. And if you've never experienced that before, the first time you ever fight for a championship fight, it's so crazy.

58:48You see it in guys faces sometimes. Sure. You see the weight of it on them. They're like, fuck, this is so heavy. Is it like there's so much anxiety? You just can't wait to get in there and get it. And once he gets going, then you're fine. Then you're just going on instincts. Then you're going on training. And then you're just, you're fighting. But it's the build up and the thinking and the anticipation, the anxiety. He's used to that. He's done that 13 times. He defended the middleweight title. I believe more than anyone ever. Is that true? I believe he did. That's why Gene Hackman measured the hoop in Hoosiers.

59:22Let him know like you've been here. This is it. Same for like, it's 10 feet. Yeah. It's the same thing everywhere. Yeah. But the thing is that's like that anxiety of performing in the moment. And that's what a sports psychologist does. That's where a sports psychiatrist comes in. That's where a sports hit and test where other comes in. Psychiatry too, but they give you drugs. You can't take those fighting. Some guys tried. I knew a guy got kicked off a card because he was on Adderall. And they were like, you can't take Adderall on fights. I needed for my ADD. Like, fuck, shut up. Shut up. Bro, you're on speed.

59:58It's tough to man sports. It's gonna mess you up. Oh, 100%. Like my, I come home from golf for the last three years. miserable. Right. Calling myself a dumb fuck. Calling myself a piece of shit, loser. And then my girlfriend goes, hey, why don't you just, uh, just tell you say, you know, pretend you're talking to eight year old you. And I tried that shit for a round. I had the greatest round of my life. Yeah, you could do it. You just have to, that part of being a man in particular, like, fucking idiot. You know, like, you make a mistake. You gotta avoid that. There's zero good. There's a gym teacher with real short shorts in my head.

1:00:36That is the voice in my head, dude. Just like, you fucking idiot. I'm guilty of that sometimes when I play pool. I'll talk to myself. This is Charles Bargwe's one of us. What does he do? What does he do?

1:00:49God damn it, you fat fuck. Did you hear how fast that was? I mean, he almost not even hit the ball before he said it. That's amazing. Oh my god, that's hilarious. And then the girl's taking the video laugh. I think that's so good. That's hilarious. Yeah, that does not help you. Uh -uh. But also, there's a thing about a guy like a Charles Bargwe, or a guy like you. It's like, you don't really have the time to dedicate to a thing like golf to really get great at it. Right. It's the same thing as playing pool. The great pool players, they play eight hours a day. Eight hours a day. If you want to play like a Shane Van Boning level, you want to play like a Fedor Gourst level, you have to play eight hours a day.

1:01:32They play eight hours a day. They don't fuck around. They're so in the groove all the time that if you're like a casual player, you just can't find that groove. And they don't want to ever let that groove go. They're in that groove all day long, all day long. They wake up in the morning and they start thinking about running balls. They start thinking about putting English on balls. They're like, if you, if you want to play golf, like a really great golfer, those fucking guys play every day. They have coaches. There's just no way. They analyze footage. Like look at Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods started playing when he was how old?

1:02:08Three maybe? Two? Arguably. Yeah. Yeah. And was coached by his father from the time he was a child, played constantly. Great. So all time. I mean, you can get in the groove for a little bit. Yeah. That's what keeps you going back. But you're not going to stay in the groove. You're not going to stay in the groove. No. To me, it's maddening for me with pool. I could, because I can play pool, like if I have a night off, and I can play for like five, six hours, like around four hours in, I start really getting the groove. I start feeling it, but it's like inconsistent. It comes and goes. But if you play with a great player and you watch them do it, they just never get out of the groove.

1:02:41They're always there. They very rarely miss. They very rarely miss position. And their cue ball's perfect. It's always moving exactly where they want it to go. And if it's not, they play safe. And you watch them just like, what? It's like, this is a feel of the movement of the balls that's only possible. If you're so finely tuned to it that you're playing every day, like this guy, Fador, he just won the World Championships. He's a friend of mine. He's been on the podcast before. We're having a conversation on the phone about cues, because he switched. He was with this company, QTech, and they switched this company, White Carbon.

1:03:18And it was months ago. And I was saying, we were talking about different approaches he uses and different equipment. He's like, I'm still adjusting to his cue. I go, really? I go, you had it for like how long? He's like four months. He goes, well, he goes, I'm pretty much there. He goes, but I'm about three or four percent off. Three or four percent off. Three or four percent off. But this guy's a fucking robot. Like his understanding of where he should be versus where he is. He wants to know exactly how much pressure to apply on that cue, to make that ball dance exactly the way he's like, it's a little off.

1:03:57He knows it's a little off. I did it just right, but it went there and stood there. Hmm, three percent. What the fuck, man? You ever left the stage and just screamed? 100 fucking percent into the green room. I'm off 100 percent. Every non -negative groove and you are in 100 percent. And those moments are the weirdest. You're like, why can't I do this all the time? Why can't I just have so much fun with the jokes all the time? Sometimes you're having so much fun saying the material. It makes everything so much better. And you're like, why don't I do this all the time? And it just feels like every single thing you say is going to be awesome.

1:04:35And the more you do it, the more you're there. Right? So if you have a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, like if you're doing a real week in a place, you know, by the time Saturday rolls around, you're a wizard. Yeah. You're a wizard. You got those bits tied up in a fucking basement. You're in control of the situation. Just thinking about what you're going to eat after the show and still killing. You're in the flow. You're in that flow state. And that's when you come up with new stuff. That's the best way to come up with new stuff. Because you just feel funny. Yeah. Feel where the funny is. It's like, I know that vibe.

1:05:05I caught that vibe. I know where that vibe is. I can ride that vibe. And that's those golf guys. So if you're not doing that every day, you're going to get out there and fucking, fucking loser. You fucking idiot. You fat fucking. You talk to yourself. Just like Charles Broccoli, it's unavoidable. Yeah. Do you ever play snooker? I know. I have not played. I've seen people play it. I've fucked around on a snooker table. I've never played a game with snooker. But it's very difficult. It's hard. A lot of snooker players are super successful in pool. No pool players make maybe Alex Pagulion, who's he could play everything.

1:05:38He's like a world champion in like every discipline. He's a world champion in eight ball, nine ball, ten ball, back. He's like one of the greats of all times. One of the Filipinos too, which for whatever reason, Filipinos are the best pool players on earth. Like there's more, there's guys driving taxi cabs in Filipino and in the Philippines rather, that can win pool tournaments in America. They come over here. Like every, you can't even, you, everywhere you go, it's pool tables. Like it's like one of the most popular games in the entire country. In the whole island chain. It's huge over there.

1:06:10But that guy is a world, he's like an elite professional snooker player as well as an elite professional pool player. But he's super rare. He's like John Moore. There's a couple other guys that can play like really good snooker. We came up playing snooker, Northern Minnesota. That's a tough game man. Yeah, you'd go in and these guys are just like, they take it so fucking serious. If you lose them a dollar, I mean, these were old, old men. And if you lose them a dollar, forget it, you're out. I remember, one of the, they always used to say, when he'd, so a two ball was worth money. So you'd have to make a cherry.

1:06:41It's called a red ball first. And then you had to make a number ball. And then he would always go, if he'd missed the two ball, he'd go, they never do. Or he'd go, yeah, you bet if he'd made it. And so we went to this guy's funeral and we had Buddy with me and he had a flask with him. And they were talking and he stands up and raises the flask and he goes, they never do. And then all his old buddies had flasks with him and they raise and go, yeah, you bet. It was the fucking greatest funeral I've ever been to. That's awesome. Well, I bet Snooker Halls, what do you call them? What do they call Snooker Halls?

1:07:14People play Snooker? We just played at the spot, I don't know. It was like, it was like a little restaurant that had tables in back. Oh, okay. And they were all Snooker tables? We had two pool tables and then two Snooker tables. Oh, okay. Because like places where they just play Snooker, do they call them a Snooker Hall? So what they call them? Snooker Club. It's my first time seeing online. The term pool actually comes from gambling. Pool is not the game. The game is pocket billiards. Pool is what's called, they pooled their money together and gamble. That's the name, that's the name of the attribute to it.

1:07:45Yeah, it was really a gambling game, 100%. But Snooker players come over to America, Snooker players, come over to America and rob people and pool. They play really good. Because they're used to those little holes. They're also these big ass holes. It's just getting used to the ball moving different. Because their balls are so small, they don't put a lot of side English on them and they don't do like weird stuff with them. American cue balls are larger. So in the ball, the billier balls are larger. So they do a lot of shit with them. They throw balls into the side pocket with English and do weird things.

1:08:17So they have to learn all that stuff and then they learn how to break hard. Once they do that, their technique is so flawless. Yeah, it's spot on because they're going just straight shots. And they have academies that teach people how to play. There's not a lot of like, there's a few really good teachers in this country, but there's no like national system where you have like a university that you go to learn how to play Snooker. Right, like, you know, they have that. They have like real, like there's, at one point in time, there was real money in Snooker in the UK, like real money. Like those guys were millionaires.

1:08:47What? Yeah. Yeah. The guys I was playing with were not millionaires. But you were playing with the guys who came in or Michigan, right? Yeah. All that cold stuff's the same to me. But in the UK, yeah, there was, there was Snooker was huge on television. I remember going over there for a gig long time ago, and turning on the TV and like, whoa, they got Snooker on like regular TV. This is nuts. Oh wow. Yeah, watching these matches, because you know, you're stuck in a hotel room before your show. So you're just watching. What are you guys watching? They're all watching Snooker. But for whatever reason, I think it died off.

1:09:24I don't think it's that popular anymore. I don't think you could find a Snooker table in the town I grew up in anymore. Hmm. Yeah. Places closed, they get rid of them because all the old guys that played died off. Well, the real died, the game that really died off was three cushion billiards. Three cushion billiards was the real game back in the day. What's that? It's a game with no pockets. And the game, it was also a very big gambling game where people would gamble a lot of money. Like gentlemen would gamble a lot of money playing three cushion. And three cushion, you can't find that anywhere anymore.

1:09:58It's still in some countries. I think Korea has a big three cushion scene and Belgium. So you got from Belgium that does really well. Three cushions from European countries still use it. Is that the one that has like the score upon a wire up of the table, where you move it with your cue? That, they do that with pool too. Okay. That's just a score line. But what's, what's, what three cushion billiards is, is this giant ass table that has no pockets. And you have three balls. And it's usually two white balls and a red ball or two red balls and a white ball. And see, right here they do yellow sometimes too now.

1:10:31So, so this guy has to hit a ball and then it has to go three cushions and then hit the second ball. So it's all about understanding angle. See if you can find a video if someone doing it. It's fucking boring.

1:10:48See this is the game. So he's got to hit a ball and then it's got to go three cushions and hit another ball. But what it really does is if you learn this game, it teaches you how billiard balls move around a table. So it really helps you play better position for pocket billiards and it helps you learn how to play safe better and how to kick it balls better. So you're like, this guy is, that's pretty wild that he's hitting that ball though. It's, this guy's obviously a wizard. This is really hard to do. So it is really a thinking person's game. The problem that I have with it is I wanna see balls go away.

1:11:24Yeah, I don't wanna see him sticking around. If I make a point, I want you to go bye bye. I don't wanna see you. My, the fun with me is that guy, Bloomdall is one of the greatest of all time world champion. I don't know, I think I said his name wrong. But, because I only watched like a few matches ever, I can't, I'm ADD to the max. I watch like 10 minutes. I'm like, where, why is the ball still there? It's game sucks. Yeah, the elimination process is the best part of pool, I think. Exactly. I like watching someone run out and then making a ball is so like the last ball, like if it's a hard shot, like, oh my god, is he gonna make it?

1:11:59Is he gonna make it? You know, there's a lot and then when it goes away, like, yay. It's satisfying. I don't wanna see it bounce around and stick around. But I've seen people play snooker at a very high level and it's wild to watch. You know, you watch someone just run out and snooker and you're just like, Jesus Christ, like you have to be so precise. The table is huge. Tiny pockets, little balls. Yeah, it's crazy. It's a super difficult game. But that's, you know, for whatever reason that never caught on over here, it's like soccer. For whatever reason, never caught on over here. Just in pockets, yeah.

1:12:36Yeah, I don't know why, like some things never caught, I have a friend of mine, my friend Eddie owns the local soccer professional team out here. And he gave me some insight on that. He goes, they never take a break. He's like football, baseball, you get commercial breaks. So commercials get stuffed in. Soccer never stops. It's like they play on the clock and the clock keeps going and every match is gonna be X amount of minutes long and that's that. There's no room for commercials. I was like, oh, that makes sense. Cause if you go watch professional soccer live, it's fucking exciting. It's shit.

1:13:09Yeah, everybody's freaking out. And you appreciate the athleticism that you have to have, the cardio that you have to have to be running back and forth and back and forth and sprinting in sideways and ducking and dodging and fucking kicking balls at crazy angles. It's a wild ass sport. Yeah, they're very good. I mean, you look at those guys and you go, well, there's not a 10 % body fat person on this. Not one, no excess fat. They all have like fairly small upper bodies and just jacked legs. Yeah. And these guys are sprinting constantly. They have no wasted motion. At the elite levels, like the Lionel Messi level, like there's no wasted motion.

1:13:48Those guys are just freak athletes. My kids both played soccer, junior and senior year and it was great because I don't know anything about it. And it's the only sport I wouldn't yell at. Because I didn't want people to go, that's fucking wrong, dude. So I just sit there and keep my mouth shut. Pro some parents are brutal. Oh, it's so tough. I watched a guy after a hockey game. This kid just, I mean, he scored probably, I don't know, six goals or something. This little tiny kid, this is 14 you. And this dad, he's yelling at this kid. I'm walking out and he's right by the locker room and I go, I go, hey, man, I pulled the guy aside and I go, come on, kid, what's going on here?

1:14:27I thought he was a dad. It wasn't the dad. It was the goaliest dad yelling at the kid that scored on him, calling him a fucking fancy pants and all this other shit. No, no, no, no. Bro, he's a kid. What are you doing? Oh, no. Yeah, but parents go way too over the top. Oh, no. Like yelling at an ump is one thing, but yelling at a kid because he scored on your kid, that's ridiculous. Oh. Ugh. Yeah, I've seen guys get knocked out in front of their screaming moms. They're moms screaming. Kick his ass, kick his ass, this guy fucking sucks, this guy's a pussy and whack. Lights out? Yeah, and for other moms.

1:15:06Why the mom screaming obscenities? He's like, I'm gonna swallow. Hard to swallow. Mom, you probably distracted the fuck out of your son first of all. Imagine hearing your mom screaming all that shit and you're like, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. I didn't like my mom yelling, you got him, honey. When I was pitching. Oh, God. That kind of shit where you're like, I am working on it. Don't do this, lady. Yeah. I know this is not for you. This is for me. Okay, you're supposed to clap and things go well. Yeah, and that's it. Don't be fucking yelling out instructions. You got him, honey. Like you weren't, you didn't think you had him until your mom yelled it out.

1:15:43Like, oh, I got him. Okay. Thank you, mother. I got it. Thank you so much. Especially people that have never competed in a sport before. You don't know how fucking distracting that is. Yeah. Like, shut your whole lady. And she had competed in sports. That's a problem. So she loved it. Yeah, that's like her being on the beam. And I'm like, jump higher. It's also I think people back then in those days, like when she grew up, they didn't know any better. Like people didn't know what you're supposed to do and not supposed to do. People hit their kids. Oh, yeah. They all hit their kids. They all yelled at their kids, called them fucking idiots.

1:16:15They all, everybody did that. We were animals. You know, like if you grew up, and your parents grew up in the 1940s and 50s, you were an animal. Like they were. They were animals. You're cause they were raised. Maybe people grew up in the depression. Okay. And those people were animals. And those people were, their parents fought in World War One. Okay. Like, these are barbarians. Yeah. And so it's like so many generations of softness have led us to where we are now. But if you, you know, if you're our parents, you're exposed to all that shit. Well, my dad, his dad took off and his mom went into like a mental institution because of it.

1:16:53So he got raised by his grandparents. So that's like a generation back. Oh God. And so when my mom and dad would discipline me, I was like, why are you doing this? And you're fucking doing, you're terrifying me. Oh boy. Yeah, it was interesting. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's a lot. That's a lot to manage. Imagine being the grandparents like, fuck. I didn't know what we thought we were done. We were done. Exactly. I wanted to go play golf. Fuck. Now I gotta take care of another kid. And this one's mad. Yeah, because they got abandoned. There was issues now. They're confused. I gave my dad a lot of leeway.

1:17:30A lot just because of that. Like he stole my identity when I was in high school and ruined my credit. No. Yeah. And I was like, I got raised by his fucking grandparents. I don't know. Yeah. Imagine dad being just like a straight up criminal. I'm like, dad. Oh, I don't have to imagine. My dad stole my car. Oh God. Wow. Absolutely. He helped me. He helped me steal your identity. What am I thinking? It's only gonna do it once. Only to his kid. I got a rental car once because my car was in the shop. He took the keys, made a copy of the keys. And then when I brought that rental car back, had me drive him there and I didn't know it.

1:18:08He stole the car and then drove to Las Vegas because the cops were looking for him for right and bad check. I mean, what the fuck, man? Holy shit. How do you not become a comedian? Yeah. Totally makes sense. You can't be ticking away at an office job. You're typing like, you'll go crazy. You'll grab mother fucker. You will go crazy. Yeah. You'll barely keep it together. Yeah. Fuck, man. Yeah, pretty well. When I went to college, I called to get a phone line and they were like, I don't think so. Wow. You owe us thousands of dollars. Because he had stolen your identity. Oh my God. Did you try to explain it to them?

1:18:43My mom had to write a letter to everybody that said that I lived with her the whole time. Wow. Yeah. Holy shit, dude. You couldn't get a phone line. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. My dad, listen to what he fucking stole another identity. It was a kid that he graduated high school with who died in a motorcycle accident. Oh my God. My dad called his parents and said, hey, you guys have some benefits coming. I just need his social security number. Oh my God. And then became that dude. And then signed up Columbia record club. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Can I call Jimmy Hendrix greatest hits? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, it was wild living.

1:19:21Fuck, man, that's crazy. Whoa, holy shit. Wow. When you were in high school, what'd you think you were gonna be? Um, I don't know. Maybe a teacher or a lawyer or something. And when did the comedy bug get you? Way early. I mean, I wanted to do comedy forever. I just lived in a town where there wasn't comedy. So I felt like. I was like, I think in the back your head. Yeah. I mean, way, way back in the day, I watched my grandpa watch, like listen to records, and just start laughing. I'm like, I want to do that. Wow. Yeah, I remember my first exposure to comedy was probably the actual standup comedy was probably Bill Cosby, or Bill Cosby record.

1:20:04Because my parents had a Bill Cosby record and they had Cheech and Chong. And I think they might have had a George Carlin one too. Because everyone had records back then. Because there's nothing on TV. So you'd sit around, you'd listen to records. So we listened to Cheech and Chong. When I was a little kid, I was probably eight or nine or something like that. I was like, this is so funny. And then when I was in high school, I got a whole list of Richard prior cassettes. And me and my girlfriend were in my bedroom, just howling laughing at Richard prior. Like, this is so crazy. What are you saying?

1:20:37It's so crazy. Because this is like, at the time, we're talking, I was in high school in 81. So this is probably like 83, something like that. And so in 1983, like Richard Breyer was the king. This is like when he was doing live at the sunset strip. Oh wow. My parents took me to see that. I was 50, I think I was 15 years old. And we were in the movie theater and I'll never forget this. Because this is the first time I'd ever experienced anything like this. I'd never seen someone do stand -up comedy for a long time. I had only seen like a guy do some jokes on the tonight show. You know, like a real like cut and dry set up punch line five.

1:21:17And all right, that was terrific. It comes in on the couch. And the comic was sit there. And I would tell you about the zoo. You know, and so that was my exposure to comedy. But in the theater, I remember, I'll never forget this. Sitting in the theater, watching live in the sunset strip and looking at the audience. And people were moving around. I remember this guy was holding his stomach and he was slapping the chair and his wife was slapping him. There we just go, oh my God. Oh my God, it was so funny. And I remember thinking I've never seen anything this funny. Like all the funny movies that I love, they were never this funny.

1:21:52All this guys doing is talking. And to get humans to react like that? It was crazy. It was so wild. It was like, always doing is talking. How is he doing this? Yeah, I remember the first comedy I ever saw was this guy Wild Bill Bauer out of Minnesota. And I'll never forget this joke. He goes, I called my boss the other day and I told him I can't come in because I'm sick and he says, how sick are you? And I said, well, I'm fucking my sister. And I still laugh about it. I mean, it's like the funniest shit in the world. That's a great joke. It's such a great joke. That's a great joke. And that was my introduction.

1:22:22So people same thing, people are freaking out. Oh, it was great. Kid and that guy string a bunch together? Yeah, how good was he? Yeah, he was real good. That's, if you go write a joke like that, it'll actually like, you're one hit wonder. No, he wasn't. That seems like a crazy hit. To be that good of a joke, to be a one hit wonder. So like that guy's got a bunch in the, yeah. Some of those guys that are like real good like that for whatever reason, people never find out about him. Now he just stayed in Minnesota. He ended up booking tours for other guys and stuff like that. There was a guy named Bob Woods, who was a legend on Long Island.

1:22:53He was his big guy, his big like Jolly Guy and he was hilarious. And he was a legend in Long Island. And to this day, I'm upset that I never got a chance to see him live because all the comics from that day, they always tell me Bob Woods. That's Bob Woods. This is like the early 80s. So I think when I came along, I don't think I got to New York until 90, 90 or 91. And I think you'd already stopped. This is Bob Woods. He was a character man. Give me some volume. Yeah! Let me introduce myself. Here I am, Mr. Collesterol. The incredible bulk, hungry Jack, a man called Horse. Sir lunch a lot. Chef Boy, are you fat?

1:23:39He's the honor of Goodwill Tots, Manacani. Rebel would add a waistline. Strawberry fields for breakfast. Lord of the ringdings, the Earl of Sandwich, the Prince of Wales. And a little house on the prairie. Oh, roll into one. What can I tell you, folks?

1:24:05What can I tell you, I'm a fat fucking guy. Boom, boom, bring some food to my room. So we can eat it all night. Keep the briyaski inside. And I woke up this morning. I got myself a ham -hawk. Let me clear some things up for you right away. Can you keep going? Yeah, I hope it's going to get better. No, I wasn't the ripped tail of a moon and the macy's Thanksgiving day parade. No, I'm not one of the moon dogs from WrestleMania. No, I'm not Dusty Rose. No, I'm not going to pay a lot for that muffler. No, I'm not two powers of Rastafarian. No, I wasn't making a list in checkin' it twice last December.

1:24:58No, I haven't button this jacket since I bought it.

1:25:10No, I'm not baby, he'll start track episode. No, I'm not tip -o -neil as the Michelin man. No, I'm not normed from cheese if it was set in California. No, it's not a fucking way, okay? This is my real hand. Really? It's all on the shampoo. Some people shampoo with pral. Some people use head and shoulders. I just get out the dipty -dew and the mopping glow. So look, I read minds, all right? Call me Crescan for this shit. I'm getting a reading for this girl.

1:25:50She's thinking of my poor, she's fucking dead. A lot of fat jokes. Yeah, a lot better than this. This is like something Z did on TV. This is like him recording a set for television. It looks like it was at 88? Yeah. That wasn't the best set. He had an insane Jackie Gleason impression, insane. And a lot of think, you know, he inspired a lot of comedians. A lot of comedians in Long Island. That just wasn't the best set of this. Yeah, but I mean, guy's a writer. Holy shit. Oh, you bang him out, man. But again, it's like the world was different then. You gotta also think, stand up comedy. Let's just put a different perspective.

1:26:351988 was 36 years ago. 36 years before that, there was no stand up comedy. Wow. Yeah. So you have to think about it, right? So if you went back to 1950, let's go to 50. What the fuck is there? What's the stand up comedy? It's nonsense. It's guys and the cat skills that are telling two Jews walking to a bar jokes. It's not real comedy. And then Lenny Bruce comes along in the 60s. And then everything changes. And then you get more at Saul. You get Joan Rivers. Yeah, eventually. They come later. Okay. They all come later and Carlin comes later. And then and prior comes later. They're all inspired by Lenny Bruce.

1:27:17Lenny Bruce is really like the germ. He was really like the center of it all. Like from him, all things come. Like that guy is the real Godfather of comedy. The kind of comedy that we do. We talk about stuff. Right. Like everybody was just telling jokes back then. They were just being joky joke guy. And then, you know, there's Don Rickles who was like the insult guys and insulting people that was always very funny. But nobody was doing like social commentary. Nobody was like making funny points about things that go on in society until Lenny came around. Yeah. We can against the machine a little bit.

1:27:49Getting arrested left and right to it. That's pretty sweet. Pretty wild. You really think about it? I'm my office. I have a photograph of him getting arrested. I mean, I don't think you can get arrested for comedy anymore. Oh, you definitely get tried. You can't get into that. You can't get into that. You can get sued. I know I had a guy on the podcast that got sued and lost. You got fined because there was a few different things. This guy had made a joke about a kid who was Mike Ward. Thank you. He had made a joke about a kid that they had done some benefit for. We're a really sick kid. And the kid was still alive a few years later.

1:28:29And you know, some kind of a joke about like, can I get my money back? This kid really sick, like something along those lines. I might have fucked it up. I think I budget it. But anyway, the point is it was just a joke and they sued him and they won. Like he got charged and he lost. Like who sued him? The parents? I think they fined him. I think it was one of those things where, see, let's find out what the specifics of it are. Because there was another one in, I believe, Vancouver, where a comedian was getting heckled by these lesbians. And they started making fun of them for being lesbian and saying a bunch of really rude things.

1:29:03And that guy got fined too. Like a large number. Interesting. Yeah. Like you can get, Canada does not have freedom of speech. It's not the same as the United States. It doesn't have a First Amendment. They have hate crime laws. So they have weird stuff. This is why Jordan Peterson, way back in 2016, was telling them like you cannot have compelled speech laws. Canadians, Canadian who mocked a disabled child singer did not breach limits of free speech. That's not Mike Ward though. Case pitted, Quebec comedian, Mike Ward against former child, oh, that must be the child's singer that's sick. Did not breach limits of free speech.

1:29:45So it went to the Supreme Court. So this is 2021. When did we have Monde? It was definitely way before that because it wasn't in Texas. So he must have finally won under the five four split decision. Wow. Four people said fuck him. Fuck your joke. The top court ruled Friday while comedian Mike Ward's act ridiculed Jeremy Gabriel, a young man with a treacher call and syndrome. He was chosen as a target not because of his disability, but because of his fame, which is true. And it's ruling the court found that Ward's jokes did not seek to incite others to mock Gabriel. And he cannot be blamed for the actions of Gabriel's classmates and others who paraded the jokes.

1:30:26See folks, this is what happens when you try to be too nice. You can't be too nice. You can't go that far with you got to let people say things that are offensive. If you don't, then the only way to enforce that is totalitarianism. You start locking people in jail. I know you want people to be a better person. They should be encouraged to be better people, but you can't do that. You can't fucking force people to say things or not say things. I think you came on after this happened in 2016. Right. He was on $35 ,000. He's ordered to pay $35 ,000 in moral and punitive damages. But that's not as much as the guy in Vancouver.

1:31:00The guy in Vancouver, I think, if memory serves me, I think it was a lot more money. The guy in Vancouver, there was two lesbians heckling him out of show. This is $22 ,500 for that one. Okay, I might have thought it was $225 ,000 or something. Either way, fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. I was in Calgary one time. I was talking about the Queen. Then the MC came up and he goes, fuck these Americans. They come here. They think we have a Queen. Learn about the country you're coming to. I was like, oh shit, I thought you had a Queen. So I went to the public library, did all this research. And there is a Queen because there was a treaty.

1:31:38She acts as the Queen. The next day I went up and he came up to bring me off stage. I go, hey man, just stay here for a sec. And I read the treaty and I go, just so you know, I'm an American. But you do have a Queen. And then I took a $20 bill out and licked it and stuck it to his forehead. And I go, she's on your fucking money, man. I just like, what did they do? That's hilarious. Well, some community answered decks. And no lawsuit. That's awesome. Yeah. Well, you were right. How they gonna sue you for being right? Fucking idiots. But it's like that thing of like you try, you know, you try to set up society where you prevent people from being mean.

1:32:19But the problem is people are gonna be mean. And the only way to prevent people from being mean is to really ostracize people who are mean. And then have everybody else learn from that and like learn from the way you talk about these people that are mean. And then we all kind of grow together. You can't have laws that enforce your opinion of what someone can or cannot be allowed to say. Because then you never get that guy's joke. Your friend, the sick, because I'm fucking my sister. Yeah. You don't get that. Yeah. Right. You don't get that joke. Because it's that's illegal. So like then you don't get funsies.

1:32:51Because that's just funsies. He didn't really fuck anybody. Right. It's a joke. You know, Bob Marley didn't shoot any sheriffs. It's just fun. It's the fun thing to say. Yeah. When I was in seventh grade, if you talked in the history class, they may do you take a pacifier and sit there like you were a baby. Oh, that's hilarious. Because they were like, I told you to shut up now. You have to suck on this pacifier. Oh my god. And there's no fucking way you'd be able to do that now. But guess what? Everybody shut up that had the pacifier. I got paddled. I got paddled in Florida. I got to fight with this kid Preston Banks.

1:33:22I mean, this kid, we got the scrap. And we both got brought to the principal's office and we got paddled. Well, they whacked me in the ass with a fucking cricket racket. Yeah, this fucking thing. They slapped you one shot in the ass. And then they sang you home. And like, whoa, I got hit. You can't do that today. Oh, there's no chance. By the way, we never fought again. And we became friends after that. That's what I'm saying. It's like these kids now can take a chair from the back of the room, throw it at the teacher when he's not looking. And that teacher just has to sit there and take it. Well, yeah.

1:33:54Especially when you get into high school, things get very, very dangerous. Very, very, very dangerous. Because people are starting to get strong and aggressive and these men, these young men, have testosterone for the first time in their life. So all of a sudden, you're 13 and then boom, the factory opens. And you're like, Yahoo! And you start growing. You got a mustache now. Now you're 14 and 15. And then you get this fucking loser teacher. This teacher's talking shit. You want to fuck this teacher up. And you know if you do, you'll be a hero for the rest of the class. You'll be a legend for all your boys.

1:34:24This teacher's talking shit and just grab his time, box him in the face. Yeah. Guys hit teachers. There's so many videos of people. Oh, all the time. So many online videos of poor teachers getting beaten up by their students. And it's always the guys that fucked first that would take the lead on that. I always felt it was those guys. It was like the rest of us waiting to have sex. We were just sitting in our chairs, staring at a fight. Yeah, especially the teacher. Yeah, in a way. Or women that beat the teachers up. Those are horrible. Horrible. Because those are slow beatings. Like not much gets done.

1:34:54You know, it's like a lot of hair pulling. Like watching a tall guy fall. Oh, shitty punches to the face. You just trapped there. And nobody's helping you. Everyone screaming and cheering. Oh, that's great. They're all filming it. And then we wonder, why does nobody want to be a teacher? Why is the education system sucks? Why? Why? Well, what do you guys think? The whole thing sucks. Like, you can't even, you couldn't even just fix the schools. You got to start from a foundational level in the bad neighborhoods. Like, you have to somehow and other help people get the fuck out of this place of total complete despair.

1:35:27Yeah. And the fact that these places of total complete despair have existed in the same location for decade after decade after decade. And you want these kids to do better? Like, how? How? All they've done is see it repeated over and over. Think about your dad. Like, how did that happen? That didn't happen. I choose not to think of my dad. Thank you. But if you were your dad's dad, that would have never happened. Right? You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, you, we, we have the good fortune of understanding the mistakes of the kids. And those who came before us. And even like, I mean, even thinking about, we can't even put our mind in what it must be like to be a kid that grows up in the South Side of Chicago in 2024.

1:36:13Or where you're seeing people shot every weekend. You can't put yourself into that. So to expect that child to come out of that environment and then go to Yale and be fine with everything. Be fine. When he's heard bullet. Swing. Wizz by his head. He's seen his friends get shot in the street. He's seen dry buys. He's seen all that. He's seen drug dealers wrapping in the streets holding guns and smoking weed in front of everybody and street takeos. You've seen that from the time you were a child? How? How are you going to, how are you going to escape that? Right. Because even if you do escape, it's sometimes some part of you misses it and thinks now you're not being normal.

1:36:49Right. It's like when guys come back from the Middle East. Right. And they're like, I want to go back there and it's like, why the fuck would you want to go back there? But it's because that's their new normal. That's what they miss it. It's not just that. It's also a life. It's a life. Like if you're a gang banging like that, you're a life. There's a lot going on. You know, you go from that to working it in and out. Yeah. What is this? I'd rather be in jail. You know, guys would rather get shot. They really would. And some places and some people. They would rather be living the life. Because at least that life, there's one of the things that comes out of gangs and bad neighborhoods is a brotherhood and a camaraderie that doesn't exist in their home.

1:37:27So they don't have any like real love in the home. But the love they have with the people that they would literally kill people for. And they're all together and they make money together and they're partying together. They're having a good time together, driving cars together. Like this is way better than whatever they grew up with. Like band of brothers. Yeah. It's exciting. They're literally in a war. But they're in a war in a American city, which is crazy. But if you look at the death toll of people killed in Afghanistan during the high of the war, it's comparable to the people killed in South Sajogago.

1:38:03I would imagine the people in the South Sajogago more people get killed. I think what happens in war, of course, is depending upon war, of course. But sometimes there's large amounts of death like in Gaza, if you can call it a war. Like there's large amounts of deaths and large amounts in one day, right? Which in gang violence, you get it over the weekend. You know, this guy got shot. That guy got shot. It's cumulative. But I bet it's close. And I believe it's higher. I believe the death toll for the South Sajogago is as high or higher than Afghanistan at the height of the war. That's wild. Wild.

1:38:38And then if somebody dies in Mexico, there's a tourism alert. Oh, yeah. Where you're not supposed to go. Well, it's the way they die in Mexico.

1:38:49It's the Celian Nectile. I've seen some videos. There was a dude who used to be a doorman at the improv and one day I was just walking in the club and like, what's up? He was, he wants to see this cartel video and I go, what is it? And it was a dude who was tied up, tied up in his arms and his legs in all positions and a pit bull was eating his dick. And I was like, yo, I do not need to see this for a go on stage. Like this is horrific. This huge pit bull was just clamped down this guy's dick and he's just writhing back and forth in agony while his dog eats him alive. It's a Jesus Christ. Great peanut butter commercial.

1:39:29I don't think they used peanut butter. I don't think they have to. These dogs are literally trying to eat people. Which is fucking terrifying. Did you get, is there a place that chose statistics about gang violence? I need to know more about what deaths are you talking about in Afghanistan? Okay, let's say this. Because it's like everyone is a lot. They weigh out number the Chicago deaths. In the weekends are all told total. In 2023 there was 621 deaths in Chicago.

1:39:59And 2021 I see for Afghanistan 5200 civilians were killed. But is that when we pulled out? Yeah, that's different. That was 88. That was ever killed the year before. 86 hundred year before that. Oh, okay. So it's always more. It's always more for Afghanistan. The year we pulled out was horrific. Soldiers though, if you just do western soldiers, it's very similar number. I think that's what it was. It's not civilians. Okay, so it's people in Afghanistan that are killed. Western soldiers. All told. So western soldiers, it's comparable. That must be what it was. But still even thinking about an American city.

1:40:34Not even American city. The south side of American city. A major metropolitan city. Versus a fucking war torn country. Right. It's a country that, I mean, it's a city rather than Frank Sinatra wrote a song about. It was his kind of town. Right? My kind of town. Shicka. Have you heard AI convert Frank Sinatra into M &M? So Frank Sinatra is singing, lose yourself. Oh my god. It's perfect. Does it sound amazing? It's amazing. Yeah. It's amazing. Have you heard it, Jamie? Yeah. You don't think it's amazing. Look at this face. I'm just a person. I'm a person. It's gonna be real. It's fucking. It sounds cool.

1:41:16But when would you ever want to? Are you gonna choose to listen to that any day? I've just done it. I'm just like a loop in my house. I know. All day long, it's a cool experiment often. But like, it's never really like good. No, you're right. It's interesting though. Yeah. To me, it's fascinating how competent it is. How here is. Listen. It was not good. I hope this is the right one. This is actually not what we thought that was. What do you mean? That was a cover by someone singing. Who is that? It says the guy's name right here. Oh, it's not AI? No, that was like a loud singer, yeah. Oh, he's great.

1:41:51Keep him going. Who is this guy? Is that that guy that covers all of the songs? Well, so that's the Richard cheese. Yeah, so do we have a problem here with like sound stuff? YouTube shit, is that what this is? We can't play that. That I don't know. Well, let's cut that out just so we don't get in trouble. And just say who the guy is. We'll cut that out. We'll edit that out so we don't get in trouble. Who's the guy? I don't know that we would. I don't know that. I don't know. Even though they always focus. They always focus. When we were playing a song and they come out. Oh, yeah. You could play like two set.

1:42:24What is his name? Ben Dunhill is Ben Dunhill. Oh, yeah, that's good. I thought. Yeah, I was really good. So I saw a YouTube reel or an Instagram reel. So there is, but I saw I said I play. I just chose the wrong one. It was all when I played. Oh, well, that one was really good. This is the thing that I saw. That's the same thing. Same guy. Okay. So it's not. They got tricked. Damn, Ben. He's doing it again. You're so good. I'm here. So what Chad brought up though is this guy from like early Napster days. Richard Shee's in the lounge against the machine. That guy went super viral. Yeah, I remember that guy.

1:42:57And he was doing these lounge versions of like, he's the machine. Right, right, right. Prodigy and all sorts of fun. The thing about that guy is so he sounded exactly like Sinatra. Yeah. This Ben Dunhill. Yeah. I mean, that sounded like an AI Sinatra. That's why it tricked that guy on the video that I saw. Wow. How good is that dude? Thank you for catching that. There's a lot of people online that are willing to repost anything and just say, this is what this is. It's just for, they get so much money for engagement farming. Yeah. It's called so. Yeah, I was reading something about that. I was reading something about someone was talking about how they make money on Instagram.

1:43:33And they're making thousands of dollars a month on Instagram. And with engagement. And that's why they post so much. Someone said, why are you post so much? Well, he's like, I make money. This is like a business for me. Like this isn't, and I'm like, what? How much money can you make on Instagram? I mean, if it also, if you're, you'd be doing TikTok on YouTube too. You'd be making thousands of dollars for about an hour of work a day. Yeah, why would you rather regular work? Yeah, no shit. I have people that do, like, we'll go through one of my albums. And then they'll actually make it into a sketch where they play all of the parts, me, my children, whatever it is.

1:44:07Wow. And then they put that out and tag me in it. And it's like, I don't know, they make money off of it. That's wild. And then I try to post something and they say there's a copyright infringement. It's like, it's fucking money. Yeah, the legalese shit, it all gets real weird. It's just like, I get it. There's a lot of people making, but there's a lot of people making money off of other people's stuff too. So I get that. Why that would piss you off. That someone's taking your stuff. I saw a discussion today. I think Mark Hezz Browning was bringing it up that he pays a company to transcribe his videos for YouTube, upload as a transcription so people can look at it and close captioning and whatnot.

1:44:46There are now companies that exist that can rip that transcription off of YouTube. I'm not sure exactly how. And then they're uploading that as blog posts. And then they make, you know, ad revenue off of a blog post if they didn't know work to. Well, there's so many blog posts that are clearly either made by AI or by foreign people. They don't totally understand English because the way they phrase things is goofy and they do celebrity news. Sometimes you get suckered into clicking on a link. You read a legitimate story and then underneath it is a sponsored link. Why is John Travolta homeless? What?

1:45:19John Travolta homeless. You got me. You got me. And then you get sucked in. The 10 people that have aged the worst over the last 20 years, like click on every time. What's going on here? What is happening here? People who lie about plastic surgery and you're going, oh my goodness, you should fucking liar. And then you get sucked in and it's like next, next, next, next. So it's each one you click. They get a new click. You know, they get a new, it's not like it's not all in one page. It's in multiple pages. There's multiple hits and then they're getting the ad revenue off of that. We had a guy back in the day that went to jail because he rigged something so that every time you went to his website, if you afterwards bought something from Amazon, it would credit his account.

1:46:05Like you went through his website, his website link to get Amazon. So you get like a percentage? Yeah, so he like put like a cookie in someone in your computer or something. I don't know exactly how I don't want to say how it went. But this guy got went to jail because he was making money that really wasn't his money. Sure. So instead of someone saying, hey, I don't know if they still do this, but the way it used to do is they would say, hey, if you want to support this podcast, use our Amazon link on our website and we get a cut back from Amazon every time you use it. And so they would do it as a way to support.

1:46:37And then it would also, it would probably facilitate some impulse purchases that maybe you would never make before. Like you, oh, this guy's got a great podcast. I'm going to help him out by going to Amazon. Oh, I can use socks. And then you start buying things off Amazon. It's so easy. And then, you know, so this guy would do that. If you would go to that Amazon link, even if you didn't buy anything, it would put like a cookie in your computer. So next time you went to Amazon. Oh, shit. And like, oh, he went through my website. Well, they do that now with like, if they go to my website or they go to your videos, stuff like that.

1:47:11And then they can, they can send ads out to people that have similar click patterns. Like all that shit. Wow. That just blows my mind. Yeah, I was reading a thing today that was saying don't have an Amazon Alexa in your bedroom. Whoa. If you're talking dirty to each other, Amazon Alexa. Yes. Listen and you're trying to watch porn. You're just listening to yourself. It's the only way it works. It has to listen. Yeah. Do you use one of those? No. No. No way. Dude, I always assume my phone's listening to me too. Always. And now I know it is for sure, at least with the, I think the person. So, yes, we don't know that when you buy that, like you've already agreed to like, having a microphone around you all the time.

1:47:53Yeah. And you don't think about it. You just think, oh, what a convenience. Yeah. I just ask Alexa and she'll play a music for me. And Alexa will turn the lights down. Alexa will do all these things. What a great thing to have. Sometimes I'll just yell, Alexa, make my daughter stop talking to me. And she's like, we have an Alexa now. It's like, no, just please. Take the hint. Well, if you talk shit to Siri, Siri gets upset. Like, if you ask, like, you get rude with Siri, there's no reason to talk like that. Why are you talking to me? And that's Siri. Siri has like, we're, you know, maybe a month away from that being implemented completely on your iPhone, right?

1:48:24Isn't the new iPhone 18 iOS 18? Doesn't that have like a much more advanced Siri that'll have conversations with you? Find out when we get to use it. That's for sure. Well, you can use it right now, right? Can't use the beta if you wanted to. Yeah. You want to get crazy? I would not assume that it works perfectly. But, yep, my, I don't know. I bet by the time they're letting people try the beta, it's probably pretty good. I think Marcus Brownlee just released a video where he was examining iOS 18, the pros and cons of it, the things that it can do. It can make text messages with a satellite now.

1:48:57So if you're in a place that has no service, you can send out a text message via satellite. Not just an SOS, but like you can send a specific text to people. You can also make people very lonely because you're going to be talking to this robot. Yeah, that's going to be weird. It's like the movie horror. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what 100 % going to happen. And by the way, Scarlett Johansson, she sued, was it, which one was it? Chat GPD? Yeah, or was it Gemini? She actually went through with it, but yeah, she was open AI to company. Okay, so they were asking her if they could use her voice. And she said no, and they used a voice that's exactly like her voice.

1:49:35Not exactly. Pretty close, close enough, close enough where she decided she was going to sue. Is it her or the other clip? Well, it's her from, no, it's another person. Okay. But her attention is they got a person to sound like her, which people have sued for before. Right? Like didn't car Kim Kardashian sue because they had a Kim Kardashian look alike? Did a commercial when Kim wouldn't do it? Oh, interesting. Yeah, so if like you won't do something, they can get someone to look super similar to you to do it. And then they'll go, fuck you, I'm so in you. People were sending me a car commercial for a while that I had to listen to it twice because I thought it was me.

1:50:11Oh, wow. And they didn't even ask me the first time. Oh, wow. They just like, wait, no, no, no, I mean they weren't trying to use my voice at all. But they used someone to sound it so much like it was crazy. It was crazy. A lot of people thought, hey man, congrats on their commercial. What's that now? Yeah, the Scarlet Johansson thing, we played it. Now that I'm thinking about it, when I play it, when we played it here, it was different because she was the voice of her. Right. So she was the voice that Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with. But the clip that we played, it was her bedtime talking, you know, like he was laying in bed.

1:50:44And I think she had more of her raspy time to go to sleep in the voice. Whereas in the regular chat GPT implementation is like Scarlet at the office. Okay. Do you ever see that movie where she becomes a god? What's it called? Do you remember? Lucy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, fucking movie man. That's a fun movie man. She is one of those actresses where if I see her on the picture of the movie, I'll watch it. She's compelling. Yeah. She was great in this movie under the skin. It was an indie sci -fi film. And she played an alien. Okay. She played this alien that seduced men and like drowned them in another dimension.

1:51:22It's very hard to describe exactly how it did. But she was naked walking to them and they were just slowly drowning. It was a crazy movie. Like a really weird movie. But she's an alien. She comes from another planet and she's really hot and she seduces these men. Under the skin. Yeah. I will be. It's a crazy movie. Crazy movie. So I don't know if the alien did that to her and then it became her. I don't remember how it worked. Or she just assumed that it was really good though. It was very original. Like a original movie. Like you watch like, ooh. But again. HOT. Like, ruin your life hot. Like change your plans.

1:52:05Move to another state hot. You know. There's certain women that they lock eyes with you. You're in real trouble. Oh man. That happened to me. I got hurt and moved to Minnesota. Oh. That was pretty sick. That is pretty sick. Yeah. And she's still there. Congratulations. Thanks. Thank you. Yeah. Sometimes it works. You never know. But the thing is like if she's an alien and she really just wants to drown you in another dimension. I fucking let her. You might have to. Yeah. You might, I mean, what are you going to live forever? No. You're not. You sure not. At least you go out in a very unconventional and pretty amazing way.

1:52:40Yeah. People are going to be talking about that forever. If they know. Yeah. If they ever find out about it. Vultures can't find me if I'm way under an interdimensional water system. What do you think is going on with all this UFO talk? I think it's all nonsense. I don't even know about it. You don't pay attention at all? Not really. Wow. Because if they want to come get me, let's go. Well, like when you see all this like disclosure talk on television, they're talking to Congress and you don't pay attention to it. Not really. I wait until the end. Because it's like, right. It's like I tell my kids all the time, don't borrow worry from around the bend.

1:53:10Right. It's like if you're going to have to worry about it, you're going to have to worry about it. Yeah, I'm not necessarily worried about the alien thing. I'm more interested. Sure. I'm like, what is this? What the fuck is going on? You know, what how much of this is nonsense? It's not 0%. So, okay. How much of it is real? So you do think that people are coming down or other... I think it's highly likely that the universe is way stranger than we think it is. Way stranger. And I don't even know if it's as conventional as a thing gets in a ship and flies here from another place. Sure. I think it might be interdimensional traveling.

1:53:53It might be something that's always been here. There's that thought because there's so many instances of things like what we think of that are in like the Bhagavad Gita and these ancient texts. There are thousands and thousands of years old and they're talking about things that fly in the sky, flying cherry. It's flying things that have gods in them. Like, what is that? What's that all about? Like, helmets, shooting stars? Could be. For sure, some of them probably, right? Some of these things that people see streaking across the sky. They see something extraordinary. It lights up the sky and then mythology gets attached to that.

1:54:29And then people, you know, 10 years from now tell that story. And then other people tell the story that's told to them by the people that were there. And then that gets a little twisted up like a game of telephone. There's some of that too. But then there's also uniformity. There's uniformity to the descriptions of the movements of the ships and what these things do and what they're interested in us and what they say. It gets very weird. It gets very weird to the point that it's like, okay, if this is a mass illusion, if this is a creation of the mind, like Carl Young thought it was a creation of the mind.

1:55:03I thought it was some sort of an illusion that people conjure up in their mind. But it's just like a common illusion. It's just like, it's there in the human psyche. But then there's also like physical evidence of these things. The physical evidence is when things get real weird. Because then like if you're telling the truth, then this isn't totally an illusion. Or maybe it's all those things. Maybe it's total bullshit lies. People with myths that make up myths about comments and natural disasters and all kinds of other stuff. And also interdimensional beings occasionally. And then also things that have always been here occasionally.

1:55:42And then also things for another planet occasionally. I mean all things are probably, it's not binary, right? It's not either UFOs or bullshit or you know, they're real. 100%. It's like, it might be all those things. Everything combined. That's what I think a lot of people struggle with is it can be yes and yes. Yeah. It doesn't have to be yes and no. Yeah, there could be a lot of things going on simultaneously. And we can't be con we were concentrating on one. Some of them I 100 % and convinced our government drones that it work on some incredibly sophisticated propulsion system. They probably doesn't have a person in it.

1:56:20But they probably can move at fantastic speeds using some new novel propulsion system that they don't want to release to the public. And they probably don't know how to weaponize it yet. So they're probably flying these things around and saying rates of speed. They just can't put guns on them yet. They can't figure out how to shoot people with them. So they just they're just fucking with them. And then I think that's the reason why they keep getting cited over these military spaces. I think they try them out on the troops just like they try out vaccines and the troops just so they try out burn pits.

1:56:52They didn't test burn pits to make sure that people weren't going to get sick if they're just breathing in toxic fumes from all the garbage from thousands of troops. And they just did it. You know, and I think they probably do the same thing with everything. They just try shit out. Yeah, I'm so wonder if you hear something if it makes you think it like when I watch Blair Witch Project. Oh, yeah. I went into it was dark when I got home. It was light when I left and dark when I got home and I sprinted and all of a sudden you think you're seeing fucking people in the corner turned around and you go, Well, that can't be right.

1:57:22I can't. Yeah. So what once it's in your head maybe it keeps seeing it. Definitely. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, things in the woods, things you see in the woods. That's probably a big foot is. Gets in your head. I would think. You go looking for that fucking giant hairy man. Yeah. You see a tree kind of band with the wind and you're like, what the fuck was that? Yeah. The thing about big foot that's really interesting though is that Native Americans have a bunch of different names for them. There's a lot of names for them and they don't really have a lot of fake animals. They know it's not a common trait in North American culture to any Native American culture rather to worship a bunch of different things or to talk about a bunch of different things that aren't real.

1:58:04Like mostly they were talking about real things and then spirits. Right? Like they were talking about the different spirits of the sky and spirits of the sun and nature. They're essentially talking about mother earth and God and Gaia and nature. But they didn't have like fake animals. They did have big foot. There's a lot of big foot that makes you go. I think at one point in time it was real. I think at one point in time. You think they're a bunch of them? Yeah. Well they know there was a real thing, right? They know there's a thing called Gigantopithecus. And Gigantopithecus existed alongside human beings.

1:58:38For sure, 100%. And it was a bipedal hominid that was between 8 and 10 feet tall. And it was like in the orangutan genus. And this thing was discovered in the 19... I want to say 1920s or 1930s in an apothecary shop in China. An anthropologist was there and he found these massive primate teeth. And he instantly knew that they didn't belong to a gorilla. They didn't belong to any known primate. And he's like, where did you get these? And so they took them to the site and they started digging. They found jaw bones that indicated that it was bipedal. Something about the position of the jaw that indicated this thing stood up on two legs.

1:59:16And by the size of it and then they found some other bones. I think they have a very incomplete skeleton of these things. But they know that it was a real animal and they know that it existed as recently. I believe it was 100 ,000 years ago for sure. But it could be way more current. There's just no bones available. So then you think that thing was real. Stories got passed on and people started seeing it. Probably. I could get behind that. Also where it existed makes sense. Because if you think about the sightings, the sightings are all in the Pacific Northwest. Right? The Pacific Northwest, if you follow that up past Alaska, which also has a lot of sightings, then you go across the Bering Land Bridge.

2:00:01Right? And Asia was where this thing existed. It kind of makes sense. And then the more they find out about people in North America, they used to think that all people came across the Bering Land Bridge. They don't think that anymore. There's so much evidence of people that were here 25 ,000 years ago. There's footprints in the ground. They're like in mud that they've now carbon dated to more than 20 plus thousand years old. And so that's just what we have. Right? That's just the footprint that we got lucky and got from 20. It was to say that there's not people that were here 50 ,000 years ago, 100 ,000 years ago.

2:00:37So now you've got big footprints real. Right? Because if those people really were alive, and while those people were alive, so if you go back, just go back 20 ,000. Right? If you go back 20 ,000 years ago, you're dealing with North American lions, which were the biggest lions on Earth, bigger than African lions. You have saber -toothed tigers, you have giant sloths, you have all these enormous animals that don't exist here anymore. And this was all in North America alongside people. It just kind of makes sense that you would have a big foot. You would have a gigantic apithecus, at least a few of them, especially up there.

2:01:14Up there where they're like, it's thickly dense forest. Seems like if you're a big fucking plant eating shithead, that's what you would live. You would live there. It just totally makes sense that they probably existed just like all these other things. You know, they don't find a whole lot, unless they're in the tarpits, they don't find a whole lot of like saber -toothed tigers. They don't find a whole lot of things that existed before 25 ,000, 35 ,000 years ago, except dinosaurs, of course. So who knows? Oh, man. I would love if the afterlife, you were just there for an hour, hooked you up to a fucking cord, put everything that happened in there so you know.

2:01:54Right. And then that's out. Lights out. What would you do if you had a chance to get that cord hooked in and see an hour of any point in the history of the Earth, what would you go to? Oh, well, I was saying all of it within an hour. Just to get that out of it. Yeah, like when Keanu Reeves knows this kung fu shit. Yeah, that would be fun. But if you could go and see one point in history, in the history of Earth, where would you go? Well, I think I'd probably, that's a great question. I mean, this is going to be lame, but I'd like to the world war two. That's not lame at all. I'd like to see the genesis of it all and then throughout.

2:02:41And all the hidden conversations that were taking place. You remember the opening scene in Save a Private Run? Oh, my God. Yeah. That was a first opening scene. That was a first scene of a war that made me think this is probably what it was like back then for those guys. Yeah, I didn't say one word. I went to a matinee and I didn't say another word until I woke up the next day. Well, it was so heavy. Brutal. It was so brutal and so graphic and so intense. When that fucking guy doesn't kill the German at the end, I mean, I'm furious. Yeah, like breathing with my shoulders. Crazy fucking movie, man.

2:03:19And only a tiny fraction of how crazy it really was. I'm sure. Yeah, for sure. They did the existence of like being there and seeing it happen and being a part of it. Fuck, man. And then they had to come back and they had to actually live lives. Yeah. And no coaching, right? You just come back with the call shell shock back then. I don't even want to see this dude. Yeah, this is wild. I don't want to see this. Speaking of which, how about that president? How about that Trump? How crazy is this? If there's ever been a real indication that we're in a simulation. It's like this season of USA is the craziest season that's ever existed.

2:04:08There's so many twists and turns, so many plots, so many villains, so many incompetent, bumbling fools that you like, there's no way that ladies a heartbeat away from the president. There's no way. There's no way someone is not telling her to stop saying that same thing over and over again. What can be unburdened by what has been? Like, it just says it over and over again. This isn't real. This is writing. Someone wrote this. It seems like a script. When a president that is giving a speech, gets shot in the ear and then stands up and goes full John Bender at the end of breakfast club. He pumps his fist in the air.

2:04:49That was a crazy experience. And says fight, fight, fight. And when the fucking guy who's a photographer is a wizard, that guy who got that photograph, find out his name because this guy's a ward wing. With the flag above it? Yes. And the angle that he got it, like where he was standing when he took the photo. It's one of the most iconic photos of all time. He had a GoPro on it while he was doing it. Wow. Move him position of take it. Wow. That's nuts, man. That's nuts. So you could see as the bullets start flying, this fucking dude doesn't even duck. He's still got his camera out. He's right behind Trump and he's just got his camera out.

2:05:30That is so gangster. I mean, you want to talk about getting a shot no matter what? He's running around. There could be bullets flying his way. I would think you're holding up something black in your hand that's pointed at the president. Or any of you fucking should get shot.

2:05:49I mean, the Trump story is right out of a movie. And I'm hoping it's not a Stephen King movie. It's a camera while we've been recording. Secret Service ramped up security after receiving Intel of Iranian plot to assassinate Trump. No known connection to shooting. Oh, they ramped that up until they ignored the roof 150 yards away. Yeah, it's just a shitshop. There's so many things where you just go, what the fuck? What the fuck, dude? All of it. All of it. And there's so much of it that seems fake like the female Secret Service agent that can't holster her weapon. Have you seen this? It's like moving around all radically and she tries to holster her weapon.

2:06:29She can't get it in there. She can't figure out how to put it in there. And she stops her minute and she tries back to do it again. It looks so fake. Is she an actress? No, it looks like an actress. It looks like if you were going to have a bumbling person in a movie, like almost like a comedy of errors or a Cohen Brothers movie about an assassination attempt on the president. Yeah. You have this lady. Look, watch what her gun. Look, look, she gets her gun out. She tried to put it in there. She couldn't do it. And she's thinking about putting it back in there. She finally gets it in there. Like the whole thing.

2:07:04It's like, look at her. Look at her fumbling around. The whole thing is crazy. There are radic movements. No one knows exactly what to do. It seems fake. Yeah, that's an audition I could nail. Yeah, it seems like, okay. Now, you're panicking. You don't know what the fuck is going on. You really shouldn't be here. Go. Yeah. Where are my gun? I get done. You want secret service cool, calm, collected, you know, high ready with the gun, scanning the area, looking left and right. You want them to like swift, decisive movements. You don't want to see any of this fucking squirrely trying to put the gun back in.

2:07:38It seems fake. When you see the Reagan shot, it is just a bunch of people moving his one. They dive on them. Yeah. Bang, dive on them. This seems, it almost seems like as this simulation gets further and further along, it gets more and more insane. Yeah, look at this. Yeah, they dive. Immediately, they got them. Immediately. They get his gun immediately and Reagan survives. Yeah. There's also crazy. The Trump one is just so nuts too. Like, if he turns his head at the last second and the bullet grazes his ears, if he didn't, it hits the back of his head and he's dead. And then we fall into chaos.

2:08:23And who knows what the fuck happens. Big chaos. And then people think that the Biden administration had Trump killed. And then there's these questions. Like, how the fuck does this 20 year old kid climb on that roof 150 yards away and no one sees him? Well, that one guy was pointing at him the whole time. He's like pointing two six years like he's right there. And they're yelling he's got a gun. There's a guy in the prone position on a roof 150 yards away from the former president. The whole thing's nuts. The whole thing stinks of either incompetence or a design or we're in the matrix. This is a fucking fake movie.

2:09:03It seems like almost to watch this the most bombastic and manly of presidents, you know, for a lack of a better term, to see him with these two female bumbling secrets of service agents, especially the one, to see that, to see everything happen the way it is to see that they knew that sky was on the roof, to hear that that guy had pointed his rifle before that at a cop. So the cop engaged him. He pointed the rifle on the cop ran away. The guy climbed the roof with a ladder. You can see the ladder. The whole thing is bananas. He's 20 years old. And then you find out he was in a black rock commercial.

2:09:43You're like, is this the black mirror? Like tell me what's going on. Is this real? Is this real? And then Trump goes golfing with a bandage on his ear the next day. And then the pot when he made the pot. Jesus. He was like, is this real? He said, that's the difference between me and the shooter. I don't miss. This is not real person. And then you have people flooding from the left being like, Mara, that's a good quote. I'll do this. There's people that are like, okay, he won. Like they've just given in. They're not even going to try to run anybody other than Biden now. They were trying to get Biden out.

2:10:18And now I think they've abandoned that. I wonder if they're doing the old like, you know, train the boxer as a salsam. I just, I read that golf story too. This is not the first time. There's a lot of golf accounts that put out fake shit. Oh. And that. Jamie, stop ruining our dreams. I just want to. You son of a bitch. That was not seemingly real. Jamie plays a lot of golf. And he gets very touchy when it comes to golf. And he calls for shit. That's fair. He just came from a reddit post that people screen shouted. There was no pictures. No nothing else. Oh, well, two Shay, young troll. Two Shay.

2:10:52That happens a lot. You got your fucking story mentioned on the podcast. That's me. You can get me. You can get me very easily. I did read that too. The whole thing is so wild. There's video of the kid in the black rock commercial. And you're like, what? And there's the video of a kid like they're, they're saying he's getting bullied in high school. But it doesn't seem like he's being bullied. It seems like everyone's having fun because he's talking about how he has a 10 inch penis. And they're, they're just filming each other. It looks like they're having fun. And you're looking like, how is it?

2:11:24Two years later, this guy tries to kill Trump. Like, what happened? Yeah, you know, and then you find out he was a registered Republican. Like, what? You know high school. Those 10 inch dick guys always getting bullied. He was saying it funny. It was like, he's trying to be funny. You know, yeah, I got a 10 inch penis. I mean, he wasn't saying like, I definitely have a 10 inch dick. It was like, he didn't seem like he was being bullied. I mean, obviously I saw one clip who knows what the fuck the full context of it is. Right. 20? 20 years old. And he's got this, this, this idea. And he pulls it off.

2:11:57He actually gets a shot off and nicks him. And then they kill him. Like, you see in his 20 year old kid, his life is over. Like, somehow or another, he talked himself into trying to assassinate the president as a lone gunman in Pennsylvania, got on top of a roof, either through sheer incompetence. Or some other, for some other reason, he actually gets a shot off. And the president just moves his head at the right time. Like the whole thing is, if it was in a movie, I'd be like, shot the fuck up. That'll make you believe in God. That's like God's up there when he's going like, I don't want to talk to this guy yet.

2:12:32He's a lot. Yeah. I don't want him on the internet. I don't want to get, I'm the greatest angel. Or maybe he wants him here to expose how crazy our political system really is. Because the only way we find out how coordinated everything is, whether you're a Trump fan or not, whether you hate Trump, put that aside for a second, and just look at how much coordination there is in the media to go after him. And it exposes like this thing where you have to step back and go, wait a minute, hold on a second. What's really going on? Whether you hate that guy or not, hate him, hate him. Think he's a crook.

2:13:12Hate him. Think he's a lie. Hate him. Don't you think it's weird that they're all in lockstep with the way they talk about him, even with things that aren't true? Like especially the Russia collusion hoax that they all talked about for years and years that I thought it was real. I thought like he colluded with Russia, and that was like the crazy thing about him winning the presidency. Oh my God, he worked with Russia. Maybe Russia has something on him. You kept hearing about it, right? That was just bullshit. And they went through that for years and then you start going, okay, what else is coordinated where everybody is saying something like how about the Nord Stream pipeline?

2:13:48You know, see more her says we blew it up. Like a steam journalist is like no matter what they say, I am telling you this was our doing. We blew this up. This wasn't some other country. This wasn't Russia. They wouldn't blow up their own pipeline. We blew it up. And the buddy, every newspaper is like this is bullshit. This was impossible. It could not happen. This was Russian disinformation. Russian disinformation. You hear it about like every story. It's like so hard to understand. Like what is the motivation to getting these stories out? Are these narratives created by the real government that runs everything and then like tells the news organizations that are in business with them?

2:14:28What to say and what to do? Who knows? I mean, you get... That's why I get spooky. You're voting for a guy who isn't doing much when he gets there. I mean, there's a lot of people around that are making these things. And I will tell you, I still believe some of the Russian shit because you've heard me fucking misquote the golf thing. I mean, I still believe a lot of shit I hear. Oh, I do all the time. They get me all the time. There's so many stories that I'm sure bullshit that I've paraded. But if Trump wouldn't play the political game, if he wouldn't put the people on the Supreme Court, I mean, I know it's job when he's in there.

2:14:59But if he wouldn't do any of that shit, he's definitely the come out on stage and be like waving papers. You guys are gonna fucking believe this. Yeah. And he is. He is if he wasn't doing that other stuff. But the only way he gets any support is if he does that other stuff too. Like you got to understand about Trump. He was a lifelong Democrat. Yeah. Lifelong. Which is so weird. Wasn't it when he was starting to run for president? Wasn't he still? Like wasn't he... When he started talking about it. I believe so. Well, he had a very close relationship to the Clintons to the point where he paid them to come to his wedding.

2:15:35Or his daughter's wedding or one of those things. Like you would pay them and they would come to weddings and events and he would go to events. You know, that was like the famous thing that was at the White House Correspondence Center. Do you remember that? The White House press correspondence dinner was always supposed to be this thing where comedians would do it. And Michelle Wolfe did it one year and fucking crushed it. I remember. She crushed it so hard. And they would go up and they would... Trump was by the way the first guy to not do it. Like you know what I'm making fun of me? But I just got him a pussy move.

2:16:07But every other president got roasted. And one time during the White House press correspondence thing, Obama went on stage and he roasted Trump. And one of the lines, he said the Trump. He said I'm one thing that you'll never be, which is the president of the United States. Because this is when Trump was trying to claim that Obama's from Kenya. Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Berthor stuff. Which is wild. That stuff was wild. You know, he was like saying he knows for sure that Obama came from Kenya and then there's people that were like examining photo shops of the Berthor tiff. It was a crazy conspiracy.

2:16:45And that was... He was roasting Trump in the audience and you could see Trump in his head going, okay, I'm gonna fucking run now. Like that might have been the thing that got him to run. Like legitimately, that's how crazy that guy is. That one moment where Obama was talking shit to him might be the reason why Trump was like, oh, I fucking show you. Because you do not want that fucking guy on your bad side. Well, this is the first time I've ever meant this, but thanks Obama. Whoops.

2:17:19What a crazy turn of it again. Seems like it's written. Seems like a script. Seems like a simulation. Yeah. That shit really does. It really does. So much of it really does. So much of life really feels like a simulation. And the thing about this Trump stuff and just all of the stuff that's happening with social media and AI. The guy who's at the helm of one of the biggest social media networks in the world is Elon Musk. Elon Musk said that the odds of us not being in the simulation are in the billions. He believes wholeheartedly that we're in a simulation. See if you can find him saying that because it's such a nutty quote.

2:18:06Because when someone says that, you go, oh, yeah, maybe. But when Elon Musk says that and he says it definitively, he says it like with pure confidence. And he's no hyperbole. He's just stating it like this is something I've analyzed. This is something I've thought about for a long time. He's also made that cyber truck. Do you like it or not? I just, it's a, it looks like you can't be penetrated with a bullet. You can't be penetrated with a bullet and they're fun to drive. You ever driven one? I've driven a Tesla normal. But this is different. Same thing. It defies time. It doesn't make sense.

2:18:43It goes so fast for something that's so big. And it's bulletproof. It's like it's crazy. But it's the kind of thing that you would make if you're that guy. Like let's make a fucking steel truck that's bulletproof. Simulation. Here it is. Do you entertain that? Well, the argument for the simulation I think is quite strong. Because if you assume any improvements at all over time, any improvement, 1%, 0 .1%, just extend the time frame, make it a thousand years, a million years, the universe is 13 .8 billion years old. What would a civilization, if you counted, if you're very generous, civilization is maybe seven or eight thousand years old, if you counted from the first writing.

2:19:33This is nothing. This is nothing.

2:19:38So if you assume any rate of improvement at all, then games will be indistinguishable from reality.

2:19:50Or civilization will end. One of those two things will occur.

2:19:57That's what we are most likely in a simulation. So this is on my podcast. He said that I, but then there was another interview where he was being questioned. Like what are the odds? And he said the odds of us not being in a simulation are in the billions. Are you firmly believes it? But it might be what the universe is, which we're talking about how the universe is stranger. I think the universe is stranger than we think it is. That might be why. It might be because it's not totally real. Or nothing is totally real. The idea of totally real is not real. Like our concept of things being real is, even if you like look at quantum physics, right, which I definitely gonna butcher, but there's the observer effect.

2:20:39There's this thing that they do where they look at things on a quantum level and when you're looking at them and measuring them, they have a different reaction. There's something that's going on where we're interacting with matter, where it doesn't make any sense. Like if you get down to the lowest levels of understandable reality, you get into subatomic particles. And then you have spooky action at a distance, where these things are somehow or another, they're connected, in vast spaces, but they interact with each other instantaneously. And if you take photons, and photons are quantumly entangled, they figured out how to take some sort of a super sophisticated image of photons that are quantum entangled, they look like a Yin and a Yang, like exactly.

2:21:27It's the wildest thing. You see it and you're like, what the fuck? You just see Jamie will find it. Is it that golden ratio thing? Is it part of that? The golden ratio is different. The golden ratio is like, there's like things like the Fibonacci sequence, there's like mathematical ratios that exist in all of nature. This is quantum entanglement. This is like two photons that are quantumly entangled, and when they get this super sophisticated imaging of this thing, it looks like a Yin and Yang, like exactly. That's pretty sweet. Jamie will find it. So do we all, you think we all have a different simulation?

2:22:07Like, this is what I'm seeing, but in someone else's simulation, I'm very poor. I'm living somewhere else. I'm doing this. Probably all things are happening simultaneously. And you're just in this one right now. And I'm not even sure if you're in the same one that you were in yesterday. That's where it gets weird. I think when you go to bed, like, who the fuck knows what happens? You're closing your eyes and disappearing. Who is to say that you're coming back in the exact same place? You might have been born today. Your whole life, everything that exists, might have been a creation that did not exist 12 hours ago.

2:22:41You might have woken up. Here it is. Look at that. That is pretty insane. Fucking insane. It looks exactly like a Yenanyang. Duality and harmony. That's the Chinese symbol for duality and harmony, and that is literally quantum entangled photons. There are so many things like that. In sacred geometry, and when they're looking at all of this, like the smallest things they can measure, you're getting to magic. Subatomic particles are fucking magic. What are they doing? They're in a superposition? What the fuck does that mean? What they're moving, and they're still at the same time. Like, what are you even saying?

2:23:25What does that mean? They blink in and out of existence. They go away. They come back. They move around. You don't know where the fuck they went. Like, what is this? It's magic. It's basically something that can't exist anywhere else other than in the quantum state. But that's the, that's like the base of everything. Like, everything you touch is nothing. There's nothing there. It's mostly nothing. And yet it's oak tables.

2:23:50We might be misunderstanding what happened here a little. How so? We went over that with, who do we go over that with? I know, but it says that they, I'm rereading it. We went over it with Eric Weinstein, didn't we? It says so that yinging was programmed into it, recovering enough information to recreate a yinging symbol, programmed into the photon generating apparatus. Applying tricks of holography, the researchers were able to read positional information into interference of two separated light waves, recovering enough information to recreate a yin yang symbol, programmed into the photon generating apparatus.

2:24:29Yeah, but I don't think they're saying they programmed that into it. If you, if you see what they're saying, the researchers were able to read positional information in the interference. Of two separated light waves, recovering enough information to recreate a yin yang symbol, programmed into the photon generating apparatus. I think they're saying that they're recreating this symbol based on what's happening. I don't think they're saying they programmed it to look like that. My guess is that they're doing that so that they were looking, so they knew what they were looking for. It says as simple as the yin yang looks in this single static image represents a significant leap in measuring numerous quantum states in a short time.

2:25:11Don't you think that Eric Weinstein would have picked up on that if that's what it was saying? I'd even go back to that. Go back to what it just said there because I wanted to read the next, the next, where were you? Down here. No, no, a little lower. This method is exponentially faster than previous techniques requiring only minutes or seconds instead of days. What? Importantly, the detection time is not influenced by the symmetry's complexity. A solution to the longstanding scalability challenge in projective tomography. Okay, we're too dumb. It looks like they were looking at them and then figured out how to map them by what they were looking at.

2:25:48And then could program it, right? Isn't quantum all sorts of directions, not just x, y, it's a flat T, image, you know, and it's like all the dimensions, so it's in super space and up and down and left and right. It's just flat. Well, how much can they see of a photon, right? Like, what is a photo? Okay, let's look at this. Look at this. Give me an image, Google image of a photon. Let's see what the fuck they can say. I mean, all this stuff is, how about neutrinos? They're passing through the earth, like passing through us right now from space. What? Like, what is this? Is that what it looks like?

2:26:25What is that left? Shapes are photons? It's easier than that one. Bro, look at that. hologram of a single photon. What? Just that alone. Okay, if that is the, that's the fucking, that's at the bottom. You keep looking in the ingredients. Individual points in a picture, traditional photography, merely register light intensity. The interference phenomena also registers the phase of the light waves in traditional holography. A well -described, undisturbed reference wave is superimposed with another wave of the same wavelength reflected off a three -dimensional object when a hologram is generated.

2:27:01Interference occurs as a result of the phase variations between the two waves resulting in a complicated pattern of lines. That's a lot of words. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck I just said. That's the problem. We're too dumb. We're too uneducated to really understand what the fuck they're saying, but that's the way they can trick you. Yeah, man. It's all about Jesus. Jesus is the base of it all. If there's a lot of people to believe in. Maybe in their world. Maybe if you, here's where it gets really screwy. Maybe if you believe in Jesus, it's real. Maybe that's what religion is really all about.

2:27:35Maybe the thing is not, oh, I can prove that there's no God. Maybe if you believe there's a God, there's a God. That's how weird the simulation might be. Well, I think it's a brilliant move because if you believe there's a God, you're never going to know you're wrong. Right. Because it's like ghost to dark. Also, Jordan Peterson, he has this very interesting perspective on this. He says, I won't tell you whether or not I believe in a God, but I act as if God is real. And if you act as if God is real, you will have a better life. Which is almost like that thing of the muse, right? Like, is the muse a real thing that gives you ideas?

2:28:16I don't know, but I do know that if I sit in front of my computer on a regular basis and I dedicate myself to writing, ideas come to me. And I don't know if that's just, I don't know if creativity is like endurance. I don't know if it's like a physical quality that you possess because of work. I don't know. To me, God is like year -round Santa. That's like, go to sleep. Be nice. He's keeping a list. Yeah, that God, that kind of God. But what about the universe as God? There's some creative force that absolutely exists. And it's called universe. It literally makes all the stars. It literally makes black holes.

2:28:57It literally makes carbon -based life forms in Goldilocks zones on planets like ours. It makes it. The universe made us. So if you wanted to find evidence of a God, the universe is God. It makes sense that it would be God. It is everything. We want it to be a person. We want it to be like a guy with rules. But there are some kind of rules, right? As human beings, when we interact with each other incorrectly, we feel bad. When we interact with each other correctly, we get things done together. We spread love. We spread joy. We spread happiness. And that's a lot of the tenants of religion are preaching that.

2:29:38So it's almost like there's some guidelines that these people who had figured some whisper of what God is out. And they wrote it down on these animal skins. And they locked them up in a fucking clay pot and cumeron. And they found them and deciphered them. And that's what it is, right? That's what Dead Sea Scrolls are. Whatever that is is then literally interpreted. And it's interpreted by zealots. And it's interpreted by people that use it to control people's behavior. And it's interpreted in a manner that controls large populations and forces people to be subjugated. Like that is the whole reason why the revolution when Martin Luther created a phonetic version of the Bible.

2:30:28And others were doing it the same time as well or similar time periods. People were freaking out because now the Bible was available to people that didn't read Latin. So now the Bible is available in German and the people. And then guys like Martin Luther were saying interpret the Bible as you will. And the priest was like, no, you fucking don't. We'll fucking kill you, dude. They're like, you're ruining our whole gig. Because their whole gig was they were the power. They were the pavares of control. The fucking Pope ran the biggest army in the world at one point in time. The Pope was running Europe.

2:30:58Well, Martin Luther, he got caught in a storm and then prayed to God. He goes, if you get me out of this, I'll do this. I'll start Lutheranism. Oh. And that's the ultimate, all quit drinking. You know what I'm saying? It's like I promise if you make me stop you, King. Wow. So that's how that, I mean, yeah, man. I think at the base of it all, there's a story. There's something that happened. There's too many similarities. And even, I always say this, sorry if you heard it. But the people that, like when you in the Bible in the beginning, there was light. What the fuck is the big bang? That is the big bang.

2:31:35So maybe they kind of understood some things, but they talked about it. It was an oral tradition for a thousand years before it's even written down some of these stories. And some of these stories have origins where they're super similar in other religions. Super similar catastrophe tales. Super similar, like there's Noah's Ark, which is real similar to the epic of Gilgamesh, which is real, like Thor is real similar to Jesus. Like a lot of like wheels, like what really happened? And if it's the beginning and it's light, maybe it's, maybe it's birth, maybe it's the beginning of somebody's life.

2:32:12Could be that too. Sure, could be that too. But I find myself at the end of a drive, like I used to have to drive three hours to the airport back and forth for 17 years. Jesus. And I'd get home at dusk and dear or everywhere. And I'd just go, no thank you. I don't believe in God, but I just go, no thank you. Like I don't want to hit one. And then I get home and I would. I'd go, yeah, universe, thank you. I mean, it's so there's gotta be something like if you're nice to somebody, niceness comes back. If you're a dick in traffic, it almost seems like all the shitty drivers at once, their fucking beeper goes off and they hit the road.

2:32:47But if you're decent in traffic, seems to open up a little bit for me anyways. That's what I've known. Depending on how you live. You live in LA, you're fucked. No matter what you're fucked. Yeah. I think there's something to that. But then there's also babies that get killed and drive buys. Yeah. That's where it gets real confusing. So I don't think it's necessary. I don't think it necessarily really makes sense. I think it kind of makes sense. And then it doesn't. I just like the UFO thing and just like everything about human beings. I think there's a lot going on simultaneously. That's why I want that hour long plug in.

2:33:22I don't want, I don't want to turn a life. You know how long that is? I mean, come on. I just want. You might have it no matter what. I just want to know. And then that's it. If you're living a new life every time you wake up, you might get eternal life whether you like it or not. That's what some people believe. They believe that there's some religions that believe you will do this life over and over and over again until you get it right. Hmm. Well, I've got some work to do. Eeeeeee we all do. I'm going to get a couple extra cracks. But guess what? If you get it all right, you're not going to get stand -up comedy.

2:33:53You know, that's the problem. We are almost dooming ourselves to repeat over and over and over again. Because to do our job correctly, you have to step out of line. And you've got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet. Yeah. Yeah, its comedy is pretty. Who's the Jeff Dunham? Do you remember him? Yeah, sure. So I was opening for him in Miami. And I just remember this because this is my ultimate egg cracking. The crowd hated me for 30 minutes. Oof. And so at the end of it all, I took my shoe off and I put my sock on my hand and I go, is this what you guys wanted? And I started doing that fucking boo.

2:34:33And then Dunham comes back and he goes, this isn't going to work this week and I was like, I didn't think so. I'm sorry, but fuck, I was just so pissed. Oh, that's funny. That's funny. You mock the people that wanted to pump it. Yeah. They were not through. That happens though. If you bring somebody on the road and you're a big act, like a puppet act. Like a very specific kind of act. Like they're like, they don't want to hear like your observations about your relationship shut up. No. I used to open for John Penet and I was in really good shape and people fucking hate it. I mean, they used to have to pull seats out of his rooms.

2:35:08Like if it was a 380 cap, they'd have to bring it down to 350 to make room for him to move through the aisle while for his fans. Oh, God. Because they would bring him full cheesecakes from the cheesecake factory. Oh, my God. Yeah. I think they were really hating him. Oh, he was funny, man. When I started in 1988, he was an established professional. And I remember I saw him one night at Nick's comedy stop and he was fucking killing. Yeah. He had this bit about going to a Chinese buffet. Ha ha. You know that bit? You've been here for four hours. Yeah. Get him out. It was such a good bit and he would crush.

2:35:45He was one of those guys too that he had the advantage of looking funny. Because he was just such a round, big, smiley, jolly fat guy. Like he smiled when you saw him. Like this guy's going to be fun. He's the most generous guy I ever met. Really? I had two kids living in Minnesota and he goes, I like you. So I'm going to match what the club pays you and I'm going to pay for a part of your plane ticket. Oh, that's what I would. I don't think I would have been able to keep doing comedy without him. Oh, that's very sweet. And now if you look up that Chinese bit, they've cut, you know how for clips, you have to cut like this.

2:36:18So he's got to do it a little bit later. He just looks really racist. Because they've cut all the laughter out. Oh no. So it's just him like doing the accent. Why they cut the laughter out? I think to make it the right time or something, I don't know. But it's true that it's fucking true. Don't do that. Oh no. Because that bit used to kill. Oh my god, it'd kill. Yeah, I saw him do that bit in Boston and I was like, oh my god, he's a monster. And when you see something like that when you are, you know, 21, you've been doing comedy for four months, you're like, what? Yeah. But there were so many guys like that in Boston at that time that were just murderers.

2:36:53They were so fast paced. And they're punchlines will be bang, bang, bang, bang. They had so much energy on stage. Yeah. It was a crazy time. Like you're saying you have to in Boston. Because people don't want that downtime. Yeah. Well, I think that's the case with all cold environments. Like I said, New York was a lot like that. Places where people are fucking dealing with some shit. They don't have time for your nonsense. You know, you can't be out there. But all you can do a lot of that now in New York, you get away with a lot of nonsense in the right rooms. Yeah, I think so. Like they want nonsense.

2:37:23Yeah, they want you to sit and pontificate for a minute before you actually say something else. Yeah, they want you to have put social justice ahead of your laughter. I have to do that. What about, what about just tell joke? Whatever, just say things I think are funny. Is that okay too? Do I have to me when I'm saying? Yeah, instead, instead, how about don't laugh when you don't think it's funny? Yeah, don't throw a fit. Just don't laugh. Yeah, I'll know. Also laugh when it is. Some guys have to find their audience. And then once they find their audience, then the people go for them for that kind of comedy.

2:37:56Like that was the case with Mitch Hedberg. That's the case right now with William Montgomery. Like William Montgomery, I don't know if you know him. Oh, can I tell you? Yeah, I did Killtony last night for the first time. I didn't know anything about this guy. And he just fucking screamed in my face. I thought he was going to punch me in the face. So I'm sitting there watching this guy and I'm just like, there's cameras on me. What happens if he hits me? I'm just going to have to sit here. So you thought he was a real maniac? Oh, I thought he was insane. Oh, he's so funny. When you see him do stand up, you get it.

2:38:25Like when you see, and then when people become a fan of his, because he's got a huge following now, because of Killtony. And then when you go see him, like the black keys came and they did my podcast, and they were going to come to the club afterwards, and they said, dude, can William Montgomery come? Is he going to be on stage? I go, I'll make sure he's there. I'll call him up. So he wasn't even scheduled to be on the show. I call him up. Well, yeah, black keys want to see it. So he went up there with like full confidence in front of a crowd who knew who he was, and he fucking murders. But I used to see him years ago, and people just didn't know what to make of him.

2:38:56He was just getting starting out, and he was so crazy. He seemed so unhinged. But then off stage, like, super nice guy. Like, hey man, yeah. Did you meet him off stage? Yeah, he came on. He was nice to meet you. And I was like, are you fucking with me right now? Because I go, you're screaming at me in there, and now you're like the nicest person. I just sweetheart. Super, super, super nice guy. Yeah, he seemed to be nice. But that's a kind of guy that has to find his audience. Yeah. And you mentioned headberg. I mean, you watched the old clips. He used to eat shit, man. He ate shit a lot. There was a famous story about a club that booked him, and the guy before him, was like this really high energy guy.

2:39:31I think the guy actually did like a back flip on stage, like something nutty. Like, took clothes as set out. And like, super high energy. That was the middle act. And it was like all out of hack bullshit. And then headberg went on after him. It was bombing. And so he got fucked over. Like, they gave him the middle pay, even though he's headlining. And they made the other guy headlined. And he's like, I got a contract. They're like, fuck you, you bombed. It was like a war with other comedians. Stan Hope chimed in. It was like a lot of shit going on. But that was a guy that once he found, once people knew who they would go to see him.

2:40:05And he would murder. Yeah. All non -sequitors, which always killed me. Yeah. Like, I was like, how does he even remember all of them? No shit. I started in mini heroin. Time to get heroin. Yeah, yeah. That's fucking really good help. You remember everything I got. I started in Minneapolis, went to Grand Forks, North Dakota, to do audition for this House MC spot. And headberg, it was right after he did Montreal and got his big deal. So I got to watch him the first time he's coming off that deal. Confident in his prime. I mean, nobody killed harder. He was so good. But he was also so unique. And you wanted to see that kind of comedy from him.

2:40:43You know, he wanted to, he put you into this mindset. Like, someone asked me, I've wanted a frozen banana. I said, no. But I want a regular banana later. So yes. Yeah. Yeah. It was just such a weird cadence. Just such a silly, unique cadence. And how to find his audience. Yeah. And you knew when he was in town a couple of weeks before you, because all the young guys in that town would be laughing like him, talking like him a little bit. Oh, yeah. David tells the worst with that. People start talking like a tall. It becomes so contagious. Yeah. Because he's so good. And he's so infectious. Like, whatever he's doing is like, you're infected with his, his, his cadences.

2:41:27It's timing, especially when you're young. When you start now. Headburg got so famous and I was so young and impressionable that we were out eating one time. And he has a joke about, you know what my friend said? You know what I like? Mash potatoes. Come on, man. You got to give me time to guess. As a joke. And I was the mash potatoes guy. And I used it as a fucking intro. Because everybody knew who Headburg was. So when I didn't have any credits, I was like, hey, I'm part of his act. Oh, that's hilarious. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. That's you. That's funny. Yeah. He's an on the one we lost.

2:42:03Yep. That's been a long time, too. Doesn't even seem like it. That's the one thing about losing comics is you can, you can see him still online. Watch him and all this shit so they're kind of there forever. I see norm clips every day. Every day. Some new funny norm clip. Yeah. I just saw a norm clip when he was on SNL about Madonna having a baby. And he goes, Madonna just had a baby seven pound six ounces, which makes it the fourth largest object to pass through her vagina. He was just fucking fearless, man. Yeah, he was a wild fella. He was a wild fella. Such a fun guy. Yeah. And the way he died was pretty gangster.

2:42:45I had cancer, didn't tell anybody. Yep. It went up to Canada to die. Nope. So yeah. Yeah. Going into the woods. Didn't tell anybody. Which is crazy, even his best friends. I'm friends with his literal best friend. Didn't know. Didn't know it was over. You were making plans. No, I really. Making plans and stuff. Well, I suppose you didn't know how long probably. I guess. Yeah. I believe you had pancreatotic cancer, which is a really, really rough one. Is that the one you had? It kills a lot of people. I think they just found something with a protein that causes it. So they're talking like it's the big killer.

2:43:22And so they're talking maybe they figured one of them out. Yeah, I saw that. I hope that's true. leukemia. Oh, it was Hicks. Hicks had pancreatic cancer. Yeah. That's a rough one. Yeah. He's another one. Imagine if that guy was still alive. I mean, he died. He's like 35. Something like that. He was young. Yeah. And he had such a body of work. I don't even think he's 35. And you go see, yeah. I think, and now I'm thinking about, I think Hicks was like 32 or 33 when he died. That's unbelievable. I think about what I was doing. 32. 32. Nuts. Nuts. And it changed everybody's comedy. Everybody's like Jesus.

2:43:59I wanted to be like Hicks. Mm -hmm. So much so that the back green room of the punchline Atlanta, Georgia, somebody wrote in the green room quit trying to be Hicks. It's like, yeah. Every time I'd go there, I was like, yes. So many people wanted to be like, listen. Even Richard Jenny said that to me. He saw him and he said, every time I see him, like, God, is he doing more stuff like that? Like it was so profound for the time. I like to have a guy talking like that. Yeah. The way he's explaining things as well as making them funny. It was so different. But if you're Richard Jenny and you want to be in movies, being Bill Hicks isn't the way to get there.

2:44:33Yeah. You know, it's just that thing that hits you when you watch someone like, fuck. Yeah. You know, that feeling of God, I want to be doing that kind of stuff. Yeah. You know, but he wasn't that guy. He was just a silly joke after joke after joke guy, which was amazing. But for whatever reason, we put so much weight on profundity. Well, yeah. People that are making a point socially relevant. You know, you think, I don't want to tell these fucking stories anymore. Right. Especially if you can do it, you can make a point and it's very funny. Yeah. Like, it's an undeniable burst grade at that. It makes an undeniable point that's very funny.

2:45:09Yeah. That's the fun part. Trying to figure it out. Yeah. The fun part. Well, listen, man. It's been great to get to know you. Talk to you. Well, thanks for having me. Yeah. My pleasure. I appreciate it. A lot of fun. Tell everybody where they can get ahold of you, social media, website, everything you've got coming out of you. Yeah. Social media is that Chad Daniels on most spots. And then ChadDangles .com for tour dates. And then special on Netflix called Empty Nester. Beautiful. Check it out. It's out now. It's out today while we're recording. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. You want to come down to clubs tonight?

2:45:41Do a set? I would love to. Ah, let's go. Okay, cool. Let's go. All right. All right. Bye, everybody.