#2186 - Ari Matti

28:40Terms apply. Eyes. Just made me feel vulnerable for... You know, it's a weird guy. Because he wanted to penetrate you. Because men have a certain... And I remember, then I started thinking. I don't know when I was like younger. And I was the first time I started thinking. Oh shit, that's how women feel. Plus the physical. Oh yeah! That's like Brock Lesnar looking at you like, you know, that's like a, you know. Dude, I have had gay guys hit on me that I could kill and it made me uncomfortable. That guy. Like it just gets to this like, hey, you know I'm not gay, so what are you doing? Exactly. Just trying to make me uncomfortable.

29:18Exactly. And he would get nervous. And this old guy would give me looks, I know it just feels, and it was the first time in my life, I'm just like, dude, I'm jacked, I'm doing fucking MMA, but I'm feeling I think one miracle. And then one point in the shower. This was like, you know what showers have the booths, you know, the separation booths? And it was me and him. So I go in the song, the gym is empty. I go in the sauna, I'm alone and it's a, it's a decoration, you know, it's a stone. So I'm in the sauna. I hear the shower door open and in my head, I know, you know, in your head, you're like, There's other people at this gym, but let me bet because I saw him looking at me.

29:59I go let me bet and you know it He comes in he sees one towel up, you know, so there's somebody in the sauna, right? He comes to the sauna I wait for him to go to the showers first because I know if I go The next booth over this guy's joining so he goes into the corner I picked the opposite corner and then at one point I'm sharing and it's just It's that human thing, it's that human thing where you feel something is watch or something Attention and I look through the fucking older elder separation boots. They had a small gap That you can see through all of them and he's got shampoo and he's going knuckles.

30:41Other end I just see his one eye like this And he's dick in his hand. He's not jacking off. He's just holding on to it but something's going on. He's getting ready. He's warming up. He's showing you that he's got a dick. But then, and he had this luck. Serious. Yeah. Angry. And I'm leaving the gym. And I'm passing, and I know the administrator girls working at the gym. I passed them and in my head, I'm thinking, I just got like sexually assaulted actually. Right? That's not a soul. Don't be a baby. Yeah, exactly. No, he made you feel creepy. Maybe feel creepy. Yeah, so I feel I can't keep this in I turn around I go to the administrator go hey And we're laughing about it.

31:26I go this fucking old guy and then we wait and he takes like 40 to 50 minutes to come out of that Charm see what I think is he's shameful Because oh yeah, and he comes out His face is red. He has a hoodie on and he's just ran out of the gym never came back I think it just that's that post nut. Yeah, you know Well, he probably is embarrassed that he did it again. You know, it's probably one of those things. He's probably been kicked out of Jim's before. Like he's got an ex -strategy. Yeah. That's what he does. He's a shower jerker. Yeah. Those exist. That's why I don't like walking around naked.

32:02Okay? Like if you were a woman and you have your beautiful vagina and their co -edged showers, would you be really comfortable washing your butthole and your vagina in front of a bunch of men? No, of course not. We are. gay guys are real and if you're a little booty hole and your little dick is out flopping around in front of them To me as a person who doesn't want any of that I would have I would imagine that I would not enjoy Watching someone stare at my Johnson mm -hmm who wants I was a taken piece of chocolate. You know what I'm saying? Like, okay, we don't need to think about that. But I think we have just the culturally.

32:48Men think that way. That's why you can't have men in a room with naked girls. We did that. In our culture, when I was a little kid, I saw a grown pussy all the time in the tunnel. This is why you're country so fucked up. You guys, you barely survived Viking wars and then what's left over, you know, you're just a bunch of fucking maniacal crazy people showing each other's pussy's dicks to each other. I feel like something should be sacred. That's what I'm saying. Like, I have no problem with being around gay guys, but I don't think I should be showing them my cock. I don't think that's the right move.

33:22I also don't think ladies is comfortable as you are naked should be in a roomful of men and just show your bare pussy. That seems problematic. It seems like it's gonna cause issues for you. I wouldn't do that if I was you. You know if you want to wear a bikini great everything's covered which is like how funny is that the bikini thing is hilarious You know that there's this little tiny little piece of cloth Tiny little Instagram they have that little little Dorito and you see All I don't see is the actual episode but By the way, I like it. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. Please don't stop wearing them I think they're great.

34:04I'd like G -strings or like girls with beautiful bodies Expressing themselves wearing whatever they want to wear. I'm just saying it's so different than shorts Like if a dude wears speedos. He's a freak, right? A dude in speedos unless you're in your fucking country Exactly, but a dude in America and speedos is a weirdo some dude in speedos like I was a weirdo If you don't have goggles on if you didn't come from a long ass swim you fucking weirdo But why are you wearing speedos? Everybody wears shorts. But ladies, that's for Christ's speedo. That's a steed. Every step that every man I've ever seen growing up, I've seen their dick.

34:41That's inflammation in that human form. That is true, that is an inflamed body. That's an inflamed body. I wouldn't recommend that. But that's what makes the G -string funnier, right? The speedos, that's what makes all of it funnier. But it's funny, the difference between like, okay. Women's formal attire, right? So not even formal, but like to say a woman who's a presenter on television, right? Skirt, no problem. Bear toes, open toe shoes, no problem at all. Have one of them ones at dangles. Off your foot a little bit, not all the way on. No one cares. Vagina curtain that covers about 12 inches from your waist down.

35:25That's fine. Boobs. All out. Pressed out together and pushed up and forward. I love how that's going on. No sleeves. No sleeves. Yeah. Barrow, I was much skinned as you could possibly get without being naked. And to be dressed on television. And that's formal. Lipstick. Yeah. They're always hot. Painting nails, painted toenails. Everything smooth and polished and shaved. That's fine. That's the news. This is totally fine. And that's formal. You know, imagine if men, imagine if men in gym shorts and tank tops were giving the news, how fucking stupid it would look. Imagine if like all these people that you see on the news, imagine Don Lemon in his boxer shorts with tank top on, given the news.

36:22Yeah. Well, that's kind of what like addresses. For sure. A dress with a skirt for those Fox News ladies. How is that different than me and like these shorts that I'm wearing right now in a tank top? How is it different? It's just less threatening maybe. And it's nice. It's nice. I don't want to discourage it. I just think how crazy is the difference between what men wear versus what women wear? We have a jacket on. Like it's cold out. We have a fucking vest at a tie at a shirt at all this shit. and women can essentially be almost naked. You only assume they have underwear on. That might be a thrill if you don't have underwear on the news.

37:03Well, if shit underwear on, maybe you'd be able to see it through the garments on the outside, that would be terrible. Don't ruin the look. Ruin the look. No one's gonna look at my pussy.

37:17Have you ever had a girl like that that you go to an eye club and they are not wearing underwear? I have not I would imagine that's a wild lady. It's hot that yes I was one time dancing with a girl and she told you no she grabbed my hand We're holding and you know walking through the dance floor, you know how she's just fucking push people out of the way in video And then we get to the dance floor and she just pulls my arm and where's this and it's Soaking damn. Mm -hmm. She's a wild one wild one Viking babies. That's what that is She is the survivor and she was uh -huh strong out there I'm sure is strong out there of the mass occurs and she would live in in Australia She had one of those jeeps that has one of those fucking things up front that kills the kangaroos, you know Whoa We saw one of those in San Antonio right in front of the truck or yeah, yeah, the the production trucks You see that fucking crazy thing that I'm super tall over the top.

38:10Oh, cuz they're big because they're big Yeah, and it looks mad Max. It looks like I'm a front side. It looks crazy and she had that jeep, she had like horns and then the balls hanging from the back, you know, the soft balls that they did in the back, they had that and she was just a fucking wild one. Wow. Kangaroo shield in the front of her vehicle. And this was like when I visited Australia and in my head I was a kangaroo, so like cutie petudies, but when you go to Australia, they'll tell them like we hate them because they just keep jumping in front of cars. He will there everywhere that fucking everywhere.

38:44They have a lot of kangaroos It's a weird animal man. It's marsupial like so strange They have a pouch they keep their babies in their skin how they develop a backpack It is the insanest evolutionary How how how does that? I mean how does nature make you get a bag? It's so crazy. It's like one of the, out of all the animals, so like, where the fuck did that come from? Like, if you look at a deer and then you look at a elk, you go, oh, I kinda see, you look at a mousse, you look at a caribou, you're like, oh, I'm kinda see. And they're like, what's that? And why'd you do only in this one spot? And when does he jump like, yo, is that an alien?

39:24What is that thing? Yeah. Why did it develop on Australia and nowhere else? What the fuck is that thing? And how come there's nothing that can kill it? And how come you stand on your tail and do like a Steve oh kick you and do like a Steve Oh, they kick your heart. Yeah, they're fuck you up. They disembowel people man You got to be really careful with those fuckers. Oh, and they were die from the big ones the big ones the gray ones that the gray ones The big one of the red one and any Eddie if to win over there He said he was walking through a backyard and there's like a six foot tall kangaroo.

39:55He thought it was fake He thought it was fake. He didn't know what it was and his friend was screaming at him get Turn around get the fuck away from it Jesus Christ the red can't rule That's the big one. Yeah, more soupy. Oh, that sounds like a fucking alien to 100 pounds So you got to think a hundred pound thing that could run 43 miles an hour and It could probably strangle you like those ones that are jacked you ever see the one Yeah, of course dogs and sure look at the fucking muscles and that thing of course dude What a freaky animal to have all over the place? But it just looks look at that one You know those pictures by the way that's that's one that went to my gym.

40:33That's gold

40:38Yeah, he's just chilling Long thing giant muscles. Yes, look at the fucking guns on that so play up You imagine getting a scratching match with that thing with this giant claws. No, no, you're done I mean, but they're fuck you up man. They're dangerous and they're all over the place But that was my question, like, what was supposed to be killing them? Because there's no infestations of wild animals like that, unless something disrupts the ecosystem. Huh. You know, because usually there's a balance, right? Like, there's always going to be a balance between wolves and antelope, or wolves, and bears, wolves, and deer.

41:16Because they're going to figure out who wins. And if the wolves kill off too many of the deer, then their population's going to drop. they're gonna run out of food and there's gonna be like some sort of consequences and then their population drops down and then the deer population comes back a little bit. Nature has a way of balancing itself out in most environments until human beings step in and start fucking with things. So my question is like what happened over in Australia? That thing that one crazy animal becomes like hordes of them, swarms of them. Like do you see we show some of those videos of the swarms of kangaroos just running so these people are in their car And you see just like I don't even know what the number is.

41:57They're you and they're fast They're fat, but it's all so like why are there so many of them in any environment where there's something like this There'd be something bigger that eats it in every environment. There'd be a bear that'd be something I guess I'm sure yeah as crocodiles, but I don't think they're doing such a good job of killing these yeah, initial predators are just like dog like animals. Oh, maybe the thylacene. What the fuck is that? Okay, the Tasmanian tiger that went extinct. That's a native of Australia as well. They have that in Australia. But they should have to shoot so many kangaroos now.

42:31Where's that Jamie? Tasmanian wolf in a dingo and a wedge -tailed eagle. Okay, so the humans probably killed all those animals. The humans probably killed all the dingoes. What was the other animal? Wedge -tailed eagle. Makes sense. That's probably exactly what it is. So the thylacene was Australia though, right? This says Tasmania. I just typed in marsupial natural predators and Tasmanian wolf is the first one listed. Thylacene? Tasmanian wolf. Yeah, but the thylacene, the Tasmanian tiger. And then yes, it's Tasmanian tiger before they were extinct and also humans. Was that ever in Australia?

43:07Am I making that up? I feel like that's in Australia. Yeah, I mean definitely wasn't the movies as far as right that movie with this is a good movie about a guy who goes to kill it Because they're trying to find it the last dilucine huh the What the fuck is it will him to foe yeah, well, I'm the it's good movie. Yeah So it is an illustrative to us trying right okay, so that there's that thing they the life you ever seen one they're freaky looking Show the video of the last I thought no I live in dilucine was in that's a Look at the mouth on that fucking thing. Look how big its mouth is. Isn't that insane?

43:41It's like a horror movie Look at this fucking mouth. Have you saw that thing open its face at you? It's a dog with a stripe and shit Yeah, it looks like a tiger. It's it's a weird marsupial Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're marsupial as well. So they think that thing might be still alive There might be limited numbers of them. Well, this isn't a task. That's not real. It's somebody's Oh, this is in color. Oh, they colorized it. Okay. Because I think the film is from like the 1930s But this is the last one and look they have it in a fucking box man God zoos creep me out we just get so comfortable with I understand but can you bitches afford a larger piece of land god damn it This concrete that's crazy at the last of these things alive and you make it suffer in a small box with no pillow, there's nothing in there.

44:36I'm not a big zoo guy either. I hate those. Even as a kid, I remember, like, I just didn't, yeah. I remember like, yeah, even just seeing, I remember seeing like a hippo in a zoo, and all he has is a small, it's a bastonian zoo too. Yeah. And it's a small like just a dribble of water on his head, and he would just, just, because they're all drugged out. And they would just do this. Like just because also you know the animal doesn't know. Dude I was in Massachusetts once and I was on my way home from a, this one else driving limos and I was coming down this highway and I saw this really rinky dink zoo.

45:17And I was like I think I was coming from New Hampshire. I don't really remember but I remember it was a long drive and I had the rest of the day off so I said fuck it. I'm going to go in this zoo and see what the fuck is going on in this zoo. just for funzies because I was out there and I saw this polar bear. I'll never forget this dude, just pacing. Just pacing. Yeah, they're just pacing. And I was like, oh my God, he's in hell. It's a horrible thing to watch man. It's a horrible thing to watch because like that's a sentient being that's experiencing a very bizarre and prolonged suffering And a disconnection from it's kind there's no other bear with it.

45:59It's just by itself By itself in this cement thing and while people stare at it something that would never happen in the world I know he doesn't know what the fuck is happy because it's the wrong climate Everything and he's like why is Mike shit all so shitty? Yeah, but he doesn't even know that he's in a totally wrong He probably's happy in Boston for like five months a year or four months here but even then it's probably not cold enough for them. I mean, those fuckers, they're used to living in places where there's nothing but ice. But it's also like that thing of like they say that, oh yeah, but if you let him go, he would die.

46:32But that's also because you just, well you shouldn't have him in the first place. That's the matrix, the real world thing again, that animals also will have that thing where they're, if they're in the wild, I'm sure it's exactly like being in that matrix where in the zoo, yeah, you have all your food, all the stimulus, you're alive. Yeah. But you gotta get that stimulus. You're created to struggle, to hunt, to fucking... Right. Which is the... I mean, there's a lot of similarities in human beings. Absolutely. There's a lot of people that are zool up. It's like when you go to nature. Like in Austin, because I do so much comedy, I'm also...

47:08I'm into cycling now, and sometimes I'll cycle out of the city, but every two weeks I have enough energy to do like a long cycle. And when I get to complete, that's why I love Estonia too. that it's silence in the woods that you have and you just feel, because that's where for thousands of years we've been there. That's where we've been in that silence with no, and then you just feel rejuvenated immediately. I love to see, I love the ocean, I love woods, I've always been a pig and that's the same feeling you get. It's just you feel it in your blood, something's fucking small. Yeah, you're alive.

47:46It's uncomfortable, but it's all yeah, of course I want to be on Twitter in my farting and ordering Uber it Of course, I want to do that. That's the steep that's the matrix. That's the zoo. That's the matrix It's the human zoo animal and of course outside is on got fucking mosquito. There's a guy Yeah, this is whatever, you know, there's fucking you hear some fucking animal. You don't know I'm scared of fucking spiders everything that's bomb goes off you hear the first recoil You're out there when you hear it. Yeah

48:18And your feet start vibrating. Yeah. Boom. And they took Chicago. Boom. Jesus Christ. Yeah. So that's what we have to look forward to. The way this fucking goofy place is being run. Uh -huh. There are a couple of us closer and closer. They're like something really. So my luck that as soon as I come to America, the fucking country collapses, huh? It's not collapsing. But boy, it's in a weird state of this strange struggle where people kind of forgot we're all supposed to be united And that's our strength and being divided the way we're being divided especially being divided by bullshit You know like you shouldn't be allowed to lie and you shouldn't be allowed to lie in a campaign ad and you should You shouldn't you shouldn't be allowed to you CGI to make your crowds look bigger like you shouldn't be allowed Mm -hmm.

49:11You shouldn't be allowed to do any of these things and and we're allowing it. And it's having this tremendous impact on the way people see the news. The news is so filtered. Everything in this country that's in mainstream news, it's you have to follow a certain set of rules in order to be able to get information out. And if you wanna talk about the campaigns and if you wanna talk about the war and if you wanna talk about what's going on in Ukraine and what's going on in God's, You have to have like very specific narratives. And you're not allowed to deviate from that at all. And then that's what's given you the news.

49:47And so we're all like, what the fuck is real? And so anytime anything happens, even when the president gets shot, we're like, was that even real? Like we don't think anything's real anymore. And that's what primes us for the matrix. Well, no one knows what anything's real anymore. It's so much easier, just slide right in, Ari. Slide right in, Ari. And, ah, we're in. Fuck the world, dude. I'm in a secure apartment complex. It's level five security. There's bank vault doors that lock to make sure the marauders don't get in while you're connected. And you can just be free in this other world and ride around your dragon on Pandora.

50:27Mm -hmm. You know, you're fucking that blue lady with the hair. Shh. We have a really connected hair, is it the dragon? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what's gonna happen. And we're gonna give into it because we're making this world such a goddamn mess by not paying attention to what we're doing. Not paying attention to the really important things. Like, don't let corporations tell you what's true. They're not gonna tell you what's true if they don't have to. If they get away with not telling, if they make more money, if they don't tell you, you can't have that. That's how you get your news. You can't have that.

51:02Because it's just too easy to manipulate. So easy to manipulate them. You know, insider's trading is illegal, but that's legal? That's legal. You can manipulate the news. Like what? You can have certain companies can advertise on the news and then you'll never criticize those companies. That seems weird. Yes, it's weird. Yes, somebody was explaining how is it crazy that how any politician that wants to get elected never mentions tobacco alcohol like never the Right because the back. Yeah, you can't mention that shit which is crazy You can kind of mention cigarettes because people are so stupid.

51:42They're gonna smoke them anyway Like it's just like you can kind of get away with it. We should cigarettes should terrible no one should smoke Yeah Yeah, so as they can figure out like a spray like an inhaler Excuse me. Yeah, law does a long time ago, which is weird that what cigarette ads or like Sorry commercials. Yeah, yeah. TV and radio. Do they still have money on the internet? We haven't had tobacco or alcohol commercials for like 10 years now. Yeah, I don't think so. There's only been magazines. And then your cigarette packs are so cool. It's like a throwback to my childhood because it's like the red, beautiful marble design in Europe and Australia and they have like a cancer on it.

52:24They've made the dead baby. Oh, all the boys and shit. Dead baby. Primature babies. Long, black, long. I'd like to see what else those people were doing. 100%. 100%. That's the blame that it on cigarettes. That guy is probably all fucked up in a lot of different ways. Yeah, 100%. But you can criticize tobacco and no one will be like, Karen's because people are going to keep smoking. As long as it's legal. It's like alcohol. People are not going to stop drinking, shut up. They're not going to. They want to drink. They're having an hour with friends, have a cocktail, clink, salutes. Absolutely. You know, congratulations.

52:58Yeah, clink glasses. They're not people like doing that. They're not gonna stop and part of the talk all the shit You part of the excitement of the clink is the fact that it's back a little bit. Come on a little bit That's the part of the fun. Yeah, it's part of it. Yeah, absolutely a little bit of let's have fun Yeah, and you know, it's a good feeling when you're with friends and you have a couple of cocktails and you laugh in your ass off like It's a good feeling, but you shouldn't do it every goddamn day It shouldn't be your whole life. It shouldn't be drinking 12 hours a day every day. But that's why it's so exciting is that life is not infinite and you do take those small risks and that's what's so exciting.

53:39Also, people that do drink 20 hours a day, those people in your life, in your journey, those people are examples where you can learn something without having to actually do it yourself. Like you don't have to be coming out college and ruin your life, but you can see someone do it and say Okay, my step that was a bad one bad one of those were in the mornings He's because your system is You know your system is done in the mornings in the bathroom He would take two to three hours of like sheeding the sheeding and then just Heaving, you know because your body is just projecting all this poison. Oh god See him throw every day every day and the violent you know, there's no throw up left But it's just the heaving it's it and then put on a suit put on a suit blow to that fuck put on a suit all happy puppy Survive for eight hours and then he would I remember he would come home and as a child He would come home and he would be in the car and just sit there in his car And I would seem sit there and as a child.

54:46Yeah as a child. You're like oh He's just thinking a moment maybe you don't understand that this guy is barely keeping it together Yeah, because he's about to go down the rabbit and he's fighting the rabbit hole every day Yeah, he's just like I don't want to and he would end if you're drinking all the time all the time Always small vodka bottle small vodka bottles all the time get him quick airline ones. Yeah, and the the his hands, you know on the sobriety starts coming Oh, sketchy disease. It was bad. It was bad. And but as a child, you're like, oh my god, I never want to do that. But when you start getting goals, you ever happy when he was drunk?

55:28There was a tipping point. When did we become happy? No. It was like the first drink. It always happy because your addiction is giving you all great lights. Right. When you have an addiction, the first hit of that substance, all your body is saying is less. All fucking. It's all green lights, baby. This is the night. This is the night. Yes. Let's fucking go. Because it's your addiction. It's your addiction. Yeah, let's fucking rock and roll. But then, as a child growing up in that environment, there would always be that point where you see him on the couch and that look. You know, an alcoholics look is you know the detachment of the soul.

56:09Yeah, it's dangerous. Look. It's then it's time for you to go to your room You know and just fucking hang out there and wait for the storm to pass, you know, yeah, and it's like And it was like yeah, there was always that point of like it's such a creepy fucking and when you're a child You're like oh don't do that but when you start getting older you also feel like start feeling empathetic of like you know I don't know the life he lived as well. Substance abuse always works with trauma really well. They go hand -to -hand. So this guy's childhood, you know? The more I found out. Which is true. Which is true.

56:42Because I hated him. I hated fucking, he was a, you know. If he's drinking heavily, it also could be like family influence. Like sometimes he would do. That's what I found out later. He would be a behavior when you're young. Absolutely. That's what I found out later that he was in a, I thought I'm in a dark spot when he's home, you know. I took friends that became alcoholics that didn't necessarily have childhood trauma as much as they had childhood influence and Then friends that kind of all went down a bad road And they were all like doing hard drugs and drinking a lot Oh, yeah, you know It just becomes a part of the culture of your little community if you're hanging with a group of people They just like get fucked up all the time Yeah, it can I've seen it suck good people in like everybody wants to say that there's like some sort of a reason and why you get sucked into it.

57:30I have had friends that have nothing wrong in their life. They're happy people and they take oxys and they don't want to stop taking them. Jesus Christ. They get injured, something happens, they take them, they don't want to stop. They feel good, they don't want to stop. And essentially, oxycodone, we learned this recently, is what Hitler was taking during the war. That's what he did. They were giving him a form of oxycodone. That's these videos. We had this gentleman on the podcast the other day that Moses name again Oh Nerman sorry Norman Norman Oler. This is all about Hitler's drug use during World War II But he was talking about that video and he didn't think that video was real Oh, I was like why do you think that because he had a direct?

58:24like a line of history between when Hitler gets introduced to this one doctor and the drugs this doctor's giving him. And that's the Olympic Games one. Yeah, so that's 36 that should be before all that stuff happened in his mind, but I'm I'm love the opinion of that Hitler. If you can get him to go on oxycodone a year from now, he's probably trying some shit that he didn't tell you about. That's what I would imagine. So the doctor, he's getting notes from the doctor who treated Hitler. How the fuck do we know how honest Hitler was with that doctor he was probably already taking a bunch of shit they already knew stuff was real and when you're a leader you don't want any of that information out there you know that you're a fucking also there was zero stigma when they first created math oh when there are yeah and he normally was showing us this what was it called pervading group is that the right name so they had a literal brand of methamphetamine that they would sell in commercial you know those those commercial those German commercials have seen It's fucking crazy.

59:23They were all taking a lo -dose of meth and they were given into the soldiers. His this blitz book is insane because it's a story about how the Nazis were jacked up on meth and they just went all the way through Poland in three days and that they just never they never slept. They just kept marching. I used to have a bit that you know while Germany was a thing with meth you guys in America were testing with LSD and I would have loved to see those two armies meet. By the way no that's another proudest thing. The Nazis were testing with LSD as well. They were running tests on the prisoners. They were running tests on concentration camp prisoners.

59:59Yeah. Yeah, the tests never came to fulfillment because the prison camps got liberated, but they were doing it. So they had record of them doing that with LSD. But meth is the perfect wardrobe. If you think of it, you just fucking get amped up and jump into a ditch with a bayonet. Right. You're gonna go, you need some meth to have a bayonet. 100 % 100 % that's the right drug for a good soldier. Yeah, have to front of the line They get and they had different dosages for different people so if someone's in a tank they get the most They get the most math because they're fucking that's fucking girl.

1:00:33That's the front of the line You know, they're the ones are gonna get attacked first So they have to be the most met up Who will you put on LSD the guy who plans to attack or something? Do you know that it um was it a rackerafganist and we're soldiers who listen to like death metal while they were operating tanks. If you see, if you're seeing videos of dudes like operating from inside of tanks, it's death metal. That's gonna be the craziest job the world has ever known. You're in a giant metal box. And you're moving it towards war. And you hope in that thing doesn't break. You hope it doesn't break and leave you out there.

1:01:12You're hoping that when it gets shot at, or who knows, the transmission fails. And then you're out there in enemy territory while the shooting missiles at you I've always thought like because the Germans were the first ones with a tank with a Panzer right that I was correct Right, I don't know. I think so I think so and I remember always thinking like imagine like being like a Russian Russian soldier or something and you'll be like a bolt action rifle and see that fucking here You don't even know what the fuck that is. Yeah. And you're like, a car. But then you see, and do that feel clunk. Nothing, clunk, clunk, clunk.

1:01:52Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. A tank. A tank. What an insane idea. Basically with the seniors from all over the Western France. Oh, pretty fucking badass. Yeah, you're a time to watch it, because we're doing a podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, exactly. The first time they see the tank. Look at this look at this Imagine it's literally like seeing a transformer right now like if you would see This is not and nobody told you Right, nope, yeah, nobody I watch it. It's an amazing movie. I heard it's awesome. I heard it's a new one, right? Yes, I book slightly, but it's still it's a sad. Yeah, well, I'm sure there's no happy war movies Yeah, that's how you know how movies both some American ones are fucking awesome black Red -hot down jar head those are all fucking amazing Pink mist missing in action Oh really?

1:02:48Yeah, there's a lot of this brings people back Which America made made made made made crytics in the jungle with cowboy boots on American movies made wars in the coolest shit Every now I'm not always saving private Ryan certainly didn't yeah fair That was like it's full metal jacket certainly didn't yeah, that's my favorite that is a good watch that all the war movies I was too young when I saw a pop clips now there here is this is missing an action Chuck D 'Arch is He's right around on an inflatable America I grew up and look they're all shit out of bitch. You can't hit him. He's Chuck Norris And so they just I love that they're both and they're shooting at a boat that nothing happens It's a rubber boots.

1:03:30They can't even come close to hit them and then they go chase after them. Guess what's gonna happen Well, I'll tell you right now Chuck Norse gonna fuck them up cuz he's Chuck Norse So oh my god, he's like all Look at him look at him. Look at him bitch. He didn't get Chuck Norse I mean these movies are amazing amazing they're amazing because they're like almost like you're watching a cartoon You know, but then you can get like full -battle jacket, which is that's an intense. That's a totally different experience Like that's that's war I think in a much more realistic Light for sure what those people experienced.

1:04:08Yeah, for sure Imagine being a fucking kid back in the 60s when you didn't really have any Way of knowing what the fuck was actually going on and also yeah They're saying that the fucking end of the world's coming and you're the last frontier You know you have no way to check it and even questioning it would be in bad taste, you know Yeah, you're not supposed to and the people are labeled traders like Muhammad Ali That is true that send you over there that the American true. Oh, yeah, that's a crazy Young I saw this too young because I didn't quite get it, you know, you should watch it again Yeah, I have to fucking great fucking talk I remember that's when he was in the bathroom before he shot himself in the face with anybody's toe through the fucking yeah Rifle, mm -hmm That is true that the American troops were much more, because you've never been invaded.

1:05:01So at least how trauma that we heard from grandfathers and shit with swallows about, like it was almost a heroic thing of standing up for your country. Whereas American maybe it's kind of like, why are you going there? And that trauma must be bad when you're coming back. because they told you that it's your defecan you have to save the world basically. Well, they were telling them that they had to fight the communists, right? And they told them that the communist North Korea had attacked a boat, an American boat that never happened. The Gulf of Tonk and incident. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's made up this story.

1:05:40So they made up this propaganda bullshit and they created a false flag. And through that they they justified us going into war and it went on for a long fucking time And it didn't make any sense and no one today thinks it made any sense No one today thinks it makes a good idea or it was a good idea rather unless you you're some insane war lover Anybody look at Vietnam old Vietnam overalls and that positive because here's what we got out of Vietnam This is what this what came out of that war. Okay. First of all the culture shifted It's how it needed to happen. Like you couldn't even come up with justifications.

1:06:14Why would we go into this country and fire bomb them and spray age and orange? And who knows how many people come home with fucking cancer? Because you used a deforestation technique that's like this horrific chemical. It kills people. Crazy. It's nuts. It's nuts and they did it because people back then didn't have any access to information. There was no way to know. There was no exposés showing that, you know, this is not a real attack. There's no reason for us to be over there. There's other things involved here that's causing people to want to send US troops to Vietnam and probably none of them good for you.

1:06:54Like you really, as a United States citizen, the world would be best served right here. 100%. 100%. You need to go over there and firebomb a village because someone told you to, you don't don't need to go over there and fucking climb into a tunnel and go and try to fight some Viet Cong guy in there. This is insane. Why are you there? Makes no sense. But they tricked people. And they did it for a long -ass time. It went on for years. And so the fact that they can still pull it off today, they think it's still, I mean, who knows today, like what we're going to look back on, like we look at the Gulf of Tonka incident, or what we're going to look back on and realize that it had been manipulated.

1:07:35So the event was real, but the event was caused by a series of moves behind the scenes to ensure that war takes place And there's so much complication when it comes to these things because there's so much money being thrown around yeah, and then At least today We have other outlets for information at least today You can kind of get a sense of how things are true or not true based on really intelligent people that you know that are online that are talking about them. And you go, no, it's actually this. Like, with that female boxer, like that was a big one, right? Where everybody's like, okay, what is going on?

1:08:12Is that a female? Is that a male? Is that someone has X, Y, chromosomes? I saw that information that it was the X, Y thing early, but it was just a Levine of that it's a man, just came a bit too strong. Because the both information came out pretty much. I would, in my sources, I would say, I saw a similar time where I was like, oh, it's a man, but then you just open another, scroll a bit more. And then you see the XY chromosome thingy. And then you're like, okay, but just the Levine of that. It's a dude came on a bit strong. Well, XY comes on his mail. Yeah, yeah, it's that mail. Yeah, but the definition of like was because I think the first, the first reaction was that it's a man transitioning to a woman.

1:08:56Right. That's what people thought initially. And then they realized, no, this is someone who has a genetic issue. But there was another, there's a boxing committee that had, I'm going to send you this, Jamie, because this kind of makes it all make like a little bit more sense. But it was essentially that there's different versions of these kinds of diseases that people have. and depending on those versions, some of them, they go through male puberty, and they have male frames and they're male, but when they're born, they have significant issues. Okay, so here it is. I found it, and I'll send it to Jamie.

1:09:42But it's European Vice President of the World Boxing Organization has come forward to confirm that Algerian boxer and main cleaf is male. this person said he warned the Olympic committee about several male boxers in the women's category but nothing was done. Who knows? You know, I don't I don't have any direct information about whether that is a male or female. Let's just say that one two slaps and one she's not bad but also that person's lost before. Yeah. to female boxers, but here's the thing. But that doesn't mean that there's a lot of girls out there boys that can kick your ass. Exactly. You know, get in the ring with a man of newness.

1:10:25Good luck, bitch. She'll fuck you up and she's a woman, right? There's women that are really, really good and this person might not be that good, but it seems like they went through male puberty, which should exclude you from competing as a woman. They look male, they have male frame, they have X, Y, chromosome. Like you're being told that you're a bigot for looking at very obvious, we have always considered biological representations. So what is it in biology when something is a male human being? Do they have an X chromosome or do they have an X -Y? Do you say, well, they have an X -Y? Well, we know that, but saying that makes you a bigot, which is insanity.

1:11:07As a sports commissioner, that's very black and white for me, at least a chromosome issue. Well, that's what the enhanced game says. As a human, I do feel empathetic towards her. You know, it's just, it's a bit of a pickle. Yeah, but I don't necessarily know if that's a her. This is the problem. What they're saying, it's a male with sexually, some developmental disease that they, or developmental issues, some genetic anomaly, something that happens. But they're going, they have testes and they go through male puberty And they don't have the ability to get pregnant. Yeah. I don't even know if they have ovaries.

1:11:46Mm -hmm. Do they have ovaries? In this situation. I don't think they have eggs. I'm reading a version that CBS sports put out where they talk to the International Olympic Olympics Committee and the IBA They're saying these tests are not legitimate tests. Yeah, they were I was gonna bring this up to they were saying that Some people think that it's because the Soviets did them. They don't trust them. So the International Olympic Committee spokesperson Mark Adam's said in a press conference on Sunday, the test themselves, the process of the test, and the ad hoc nature of the test are not legitimate, the testing, the method of the testing, the idea of the testing, which happened kind of overnight.

1:12:23None of it is legitimate, and this does not deserve any response. Okay, that's by saying it's not legitimate, is a very weird thing. I had read it, came up after this event, where she beat an undefeated boxer, and then people got... Right. right. Right. But did this person, let's Google this then, did this person, this boxer, did they take a chromosome test? Did you see that article that started? This article says that originally right here, the originally the test was kept confidential, did not go on, did not undergo a testosterone examination, but were subject to a separate and recognized test whereby the specifics remain confidential.

1:13:08Then the next day or like Monday I don't know how many days later that was then they came out and said something different. These testing shows they have a high level of test toastron. Cremle have said like men. They have men's level of test toastron. We cannot go further in our investigation whether they were born like men or some changes intervened at the later stages. And then that's where the IOC said what you read earlier. This test are not legitimate. Right. Right. But they're not saying why they're not legitimate. This is what gives me pause. When they just keep saying it's not legitimate, the ad hoc nature of the test are not legitimate.

1:13:41You have to say when you're talking about a scientific test, there's some tests that's repeatable, right? So if you can test for X, Y chromosome versus X, X chromosome, do it. Tell me what the results are. If you can test for testosterone, do it. Tell me what the results are. And if one says male, says X, Y, and the other one says high levels of testosterone. That's not a woman. Okay. Sports wise, yeah. Sports wise. Yeah. That one too, it's laps with those shoulders. But it's also, it's like, what are we doing? Like, why do we have women sports in the first place? If you let, I mean, you could say that some people have a genomic anomaly, like that woman, she had X, X, Y, right?

1:14:25And she was like a legitimate hermaphrodite, I believe. to testosterone levels, not X, Y, chromosome, which is the pattern typically seen in men are the key criteria of eligibility in Olympic events where the sports governing body has framed in a primed rules. That's interesting. But it's the same thing with when like totally, I mean, genetical women start doing steroids. That's the whole thing about women's sports is the big problem. I remember like, what they do it, they change their frame. Economic in accusations, but Chris Cyborg, I remember, was a big thing in strike force, where it was the first time I saw where I was like, this is a big loophole in women's sports right now, especially combat sports because it's about doing actually physical damage.

1:15:08100%. It's very visibly seeing the difference. It's very, in other sports where it's reaction time and whatever, tennis or whatever, you But in combat, it's very visible. Because it's not only about the body and whatever. It's literally people who are on testosterone has been proven harder to KO because you just ramped up. Yeah. The testosterone, it's literally like the quote particle in the sense of fucking sports. They've stopped some fighters from fighting because they tested so hard. Absolutely. They're like, get out of here. This fucking guy's, yeah. Yeah, I remember it was who failed I remember was Chelson and Alistair over him They used to fail tests where it was like like the number.

1:15:57It's like There's the rage of 18 men coming at you right now. Well, that's Vtor Belford in this prime, right? Oh The TRT Vtor days. I only could beat in Brazil. I want to be well. Oh sure. I got demon. He would come at you like a demon Yeah, he would have those videos where he was like an elliptical machine and he was The thing about this too, it's like if they're saying they're testing for testosterone levels, how often are you doing that? Because guess what, it's easy to make your testosterone levels crash. Real easy. Well, the whole thing is always that it's that that that's things. Yeah, you can, it's like it's like pyre thing.

1:16:36Yeah, they're always a step ahead. They're always. Even all you have to do to kill your testosterone levels are drink alcohol Yeah, shitty food and Just fucking live in the mountains of Dagestan and hope the connection flight is a bit late. That's That's ultimately very interesting that you went to a training camp. Yeah, they're the best wrestlers Huh, they're interesting. Well, they are the best wrestlers. The true pros. Jacked Yeah, so is that what you're saying? Yeah, yeah Well, I would imagine that if they knew for a fact that you couldn't get to the North Pole to do a drug test Yeah, they'd be a fucking MMA camp for the North Pole Also, I went to a camp in Thailand back in the day and I remember Over there it was like not even a secret really I go to the camp and it's like American fighters would be there And everybody would know that that's why they're doing it No, no, no, no, everybody, you know, they'll be like, fucking, who, they'll be like handing out shots at a bar?

1:17:41Who wants to syringe, you know? What are we doing? And they're not, these are all retards there. It's just smoking joints and sparring. There's nobody doing like, we need to, there's like, no, fucking, give me what you got. And are these people like pros? Same I pro, you know, you live in a Honda Civic and you, every once in a while, you move back to your parents place because it's, it's a strong fight. Fighting's hard. Fighting's really hard, brother. There. Woo! It's hard, dude. So you, so people don't know you, you, when did you start doing stand -up comedy? And when were you fighting at the same time you were doing stand -up comedy?

1:18:18There was a transition period. And I started, okay, so this is my martial arts history, right? Of course, as I mentioned, I had a stepdad who was fucking crazy, so there was that insecurity. You know, there's that thing of like, I'm not saying that having a father who's maybe violent towards your mother is a bit better But I think there's a bit of a more evolutionary connection that a family dynamic can have Whereas if you're like a 12 to 13 14 year old boy and a new guy You're supposed to be the man of the house even though you're a child, right? You're supposed your it's my sister and my mother and it's our dynamic and a new guy moves in and this retard is now And he's an alcoholic.

1:19:01Yeah, so that creates obviously I didn't secure it. To be sadness in the house. Yeah, no. Tension. No, I did. I would still, no. My mom, Riff City. My mom has always been Riff City. She was always having fun throughout all the darkness in our life. We had a rough, we had some rough periods, you know. But in my house, it's always been fun city. I would always, it's always been my humor. I would literally, dude, I would have points where it's me and my mother on a fucking... Because we would just leave the house during the night, you know, we just walk towards... And my sister was a bit older so she moved out.

1:19:38So we would just walk in the night towards the direction and she would try to call all her friends where to stay for the night because this ape is fucking going bananas back home. And there would be... We would be on the sidewalk, you know. So where did you start out with? Which was the first martial art. And the next day I would go to school and still be fucking happy puppy just because I don't know that was how we came up right. So then there was this program called the kick -ass martial arts and it was Chris Crudelli, this guy. Soul Patch, British guy, he would travel the world and this was at a point where pride and UFC were happening but in traditional martial arts were still holding on.

1:20:19Wing Chun was holding on. Aikido was holding on. Kung Fu was It was kind of going away, you know? But Chris Crudelli had a program where he would travel the world and study these ancient. There was this like dim muck where it's like, I... Ha! And seven years later you die of cancer. You know all that shit? And as a kid, I'm like, oh, that's all I gotta do. Move to Korea for two weeks, study this fucking death touch and just come back and kill somebody. You know? Yeah. But then I remember I saw UFC... I saw a few pride vites from Fedor Imelianenko because he was Russian and he was a big prominent figure in the martial arts community.

1:20:57But I remember I saw Liotomachida show gun the first one. And in my head, because Machida looked like a traditional martial artist, you know, because he was a invasion or something, you know. So in my head, I'm like, why doesn't he do the, why don't these people do the Chris Crudelli shit, you know, fucking neutralize your opponent to a wristlock? Then I started watching pride, Van der Leisilva, he stomping people. holding onto the ropes, stomping. And in my head I'm, why doesn't he do the dim muck? You know, hi, and you fucking, so then I was maybe 15, 16, late, late. When I was doing gymnastics and I was doing a bit of weight lifting and I saw dudes like wrestling, you know.

1:21:40And I started thinking like Greco -Roman and I saw them like, soup jacked guys in fucking, just soup legs in each other and that's where the wheels start turning of life. Dude, you're not gonna wrist lock this guy. You're not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna death touch this guy. It's gonna run through me. So I joined a GMSPG subsidiary, Jim Preet, Michelson Shoutout, my man. He was a great mentor and a father figure at that time for me. And I joined his gym. And it was jujitsu, M .A. We did everything together, you know. And I had my first amateur fight like five months into like doing it. That's crazy.

1:22:26That's crazy. That's crazy. Did they make sure the person fought? Didn't have a lot of experience either? Yes, but he was like 34. Oh no! Yeah, that's not fair. And he went to war. He was like a former military steered. That stood down a tank. Jesus Christ. Yeah. But you still amateur rules, but still MMA gloves fucking and hey, make a city, you know. Right. Was he good? Yeah, he'd choke me just to keep it in time. I didn't tap it. I didn't tap it. Never tap it. Never tap it. I tried to tap those two like. But yeah, I would not recommend that. I would not recommend you getting your ass kicked by someone who has a lot more experience at five months in.

1:23:03I always think you gotta give. I think we were the same experience in martial arts, but he was a man. Dude, I'm a suburban boy. Was he though? Let me tell you something. If he got to be how old 30 something and he went to war that dude's head training. Yeah, I mean it's not just five months It's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the fact listen that kind of guy is done a little bit here a little bit there That kind of guy probably boxed a little when he was younger. No, but little karate We were it's such a small community that I still trained with him my remember and yeah, well, wow It was yeah, but I was fine.

1:23:36So he was nice to you after you choke his sleep No, before I mean oh you train with them before you such a small community You know so I wouldn't say the skill discrepancy was actually that big but it was just When you go to war and you can be in competition. I'm having a full -on panic attack Yeah, you know I'm fucking first time in you know fucking hand -to -hand combat situation He's a man this guy is stare down a tank of course. Are you at the time? 16. Yeah, that's unfair. Yeah, I know so like a pussy 16 another like a takas tiny 16 where it's like hair on my knuckles and I have two kids.

1:24:09Those are like the real ones. Dude, whenever you would, in those amateur circuits, whenever it's like, I don't know if Americans do that, but like if you say you're fighting an American, do you guys slip in that it's like, it's your own, you know, you're gonna just, so you're ready, it's gonna be a bit of explosive opponent. Like in, in Estonia, it's like, if you're finding a Russian guy, are you finding Ivan, who's like me? Is a Russian guy, or are you fighting somebody whose name stands with a Mehmetov. It's a very different. It's still Russia. Yeah, Mountain Russia. We say from the hills. Yeah, we always say from the hills.

1:24:43Like it's a bit of a, it's a bit of a, a bit of a different double leg that's gonna come at you. No. Dude, did you see that chorus, Anhaegan, Umar, Nirmagameda, five? Of course, of course. Ooh, so high level. I felt love for a Sanhaegan. He was resting so well, everything correctly. Mm -hmm. It was everything. Sanhaegan was cool. He didn't get backed up into the corner too early. He was keeping his distance. He had good knees And good jujitsu what I liked about sunhicken in that fight he used jujitsu He was proper jujitsu and for the first two rounds. It's exactly like the Kabip thing the first two rounds You can actually out hustle not out hustle him, but you can you can just You can be explosive enough to create those moments of jujitsu where you can stay safe.

1:25:31But that train keeps coming. Trying to keep coming. Just fucking keeps coming and mean. And you know, the difference in Umar versus Kabib is that Umar is stand up. His stand up is his so dynamic. His kicking is so dynamic. It's so dangerous and quick. You know, like he throws head kicks off the front leg quick. He throws things that are fast. Yeah, he threw that front switch kick. Yeah, not even a switch. He just slapped it out there. Yeah, dude, he's good. He's fucking real good. His striking was on point. Like everything was on point. And he's more threatening wrestling. It's like it was a more potent combination of the skills that Corey has as well.

1:26:13I mean, he's a, he's San Hagen's brilliant. He's one of the best fighters in the sport, in my opinion. Yeah, so to see a guy like Umar beat him, you're like, wow. That's how ended to come on strong and the fourth and the fifth that guys that guys fucking good man Yeah, he's fucking good and him versus O'Malley would be wild Wild yeah, or Mirab him versus Mirab will be wild too well Mirab and him I want to see more because Mirab is also a bully, you know Mirab is a different it's a bully different. He's made out of different stuff They say Merub trains hard like right up into the fight You can see that right up.

1:26:54You can see that you can see that and Well that with a guy like that you're always like okay. How long can you joints help hold out exactly? How long is it gonna be before your back goes? Oh, it's your will will carry you through if it if the human body wasn't so goddamn fragile Cause like that would never get beat never get beat. Yeah exactly That's the whole thing like came the last guys with his body started going Also, Marab has been dropped and hurt. I think it was Marlon, where I would have heard him. Marais! Bad! Bad! How did I really bad? And then he went out and stomped him in the next round.

1:27:26Yeah, exactly. Well, Marais had that thing where... Poor bastard. I feel so bad for him because he was so good! But it's such a chaotic sport where a few bad fights can have such a tremendous amount of impact to your fights that the next ones. You know it's not all this so who to fight man the first round he was lighting Henry up Lighting him up where I was like if this guy can keep this up for five rounds Henry's gonna get stopped Oh, but he just came on in the second round like an animal beat the shit at him He closed the distance a lot of that yeah one in pfl 2 with that left hook and that switch kick Ah, yep, he came with all German sterling.

1:28:07Oh, yeah, man bad. He came with all germane bad went for a switch kick to the body the Ajaman shot in the knee. But then once he lost a Henry, he started losing to a lot of folks. A lot. And now it's like, there was the sandhagen dropped him with a wheel kick, remember that? Yeah, that was a bad one too. It went to the tempo. Yeah, that's a bad one. Right to the tempo. Yeah, that's just those, the skilled diversity that guy has. He could do everything. Sandhagen's so good. So to watch Umar beat him, oh my god, damn Umar's the truth. He's the truth. It's like those guys in that part of the world, Yeah, and they're so frustrating because it's not like an incredible thing that they're doing You know if you watch somebody like Conor my Greg or who has that fucking test touch It's such a spectacle.

1:28:54It's such like oh my god. This guy has the power right but this girl is fucking Just out Russell you out grind you exactly keep Comment they keep coming annoying and bully and mean But then you got guys like Islam that could do everything and umar. This is the difference. Yeah Islam is scary standing up Like in the beginning of his career He was really good at wrestling not as good at standing up But now he's just as good standing up when you KO Vulcan off ski like that You know, and then you choke out Dustin Poirier like that like that guy. He's got that's the full thing Right he can head kick you He could strike with you and knock you knocked out glacity about with one shot standing.

1:29:38Yeah, he can knock you out Like legitimately and he could still struggle you and he could still smother you like it's the perfect combination but it's like That is such a crazy strategy. It's like you're outmaning every guy you fight his outgrap well I'm outstriking him most people like try to be like a specialist exactly But they're like the full moroder the full moroder man. Yeah, I think if you wanted to like really think about like who's the most complete fighter You got it. You say like max hallway Eliatoporia But Islam Akic if you got to put it on top of the most complete he could KO you with a head kick Well, that's not like John Jones of John Jones.

1:30:22Let's not forget the one true god. Yeah, that's my boy The problem with John is the most dangerous man who ever lived. Unfortunately, that shoulder injury and then the uncertainty about moving up into heavyweight. Like how's he going to deal with guys like Francis? Which was always the big fight. That was the big fight. That was the fight that slipped between our fingers. It was the fade -or, Brock Lesnar, all over again. That was the big one that slipped through our fingers. That was the fight. Because the question is, would Francis people keep John off of them? Exactly. And would John be able to avoid the big strike stand?

1:30:54Exactly. Exactly. There's a difference in size. That's pretty significant. Even when John was getting big, it's a different kind of big. You know? Different big. Like the 265 that Francis carries around, that's a natural lean 265. Yeah, it's like a, I mean, it's a cobalt mining or some shit. No, sand mines. Sand mines, yeah. That's a different, he was a child. A different guy. That dude's power is extraordinary. That's a different guy. Especially with them little gloves on, you cannot get clipped by that guy. You cannot keep clip by that guy. So the question is would John be able to get a hold of Francis?

1:31:29Would Francis be able to keep John off of him? If Francis can keep John off of him, would Francis be able to stop those leg kicks? Because John's side kicks that shit out of people's knees and it'll fucking scare you because it makes your leg hyper extended, blow your knee out. Mean. I love John's when he was mean, Glover De Chera with that overhook. Remember that overhook that he had on the shoulder. Yeah, man. Yeah. Mean, elbows, how about Tiago? Tiago had to get two knee surgeries, both knees. He let him look machida, as soon as he goes out of the sleep, just dropped him. Yeah. Well, his run in the light heavyweight division was unprecedented.

1:32:07Nothing, nothing like it. Literally created for human combat. His body looked insane, small torso with limbs coming out. It looked insane. He's, he's, he's, he looks insane. Right. And this house mall's calves are yeah, but yet it tremendous Strong and the best guy ever it likes utilizing distance strong mentally for sure Yeah, and clever clever. Yeah, we just have to see him back and the Apparently they're trying to do that thing it's supposed to be in Madison Square Garden, right? Is that announced officially young Jamie? What's that? The Steve Jones versus Deep A. Metastas Square Garden November.

1:32:49So there's being talked about. Also, no, there's back to Steve, but I don't want to see that fight that badly as I want to see, you know. I feel like you got to give Steve a one more shot. Okay. I feel like the guys been strung around for this long. If you want to respect the history and the lineage of the UFC Heavyweight Champions, you're right. You defend the title more than anybody and you know, he stopped Daniel Kormier. He's a legit fucking killer He stopped a lot of like very very good people. He stopped Junior Dose Santos one Francis. Yeah, he beat Francis the first He heard him the second time.

1:33:29Yeah, um, but it wasn't the second time was a different Francis Jesus Christ so much the scariest chaos I've ever seen in my life in the apex. Yeah Do it being their life was incredible Oh, you were alive. Oh, yeah, so there was like a hundred people in that place when he followed up with the hammer fish Oh my goodness. Yeah, and that's Brow that left hook was and it was like when a steep A was trying to like capitalize on a shot He landed it's one of those victories where me and the boys were on the couch and it's not a whoo. It's uh Just a yeah Yeah, yeah, it's oh Yeah, because also you know how much damage Steve has taken in his career She says Christ Jesus Christ and Steve but hurts him there it is He hit him with that left hook really hurt him.

1:34:14Yeah, yeah, but Steve also hurt him Steve also hurt him look at this big. I'm now Steve goes. Oh The Nick He thought he had him when he landed that right hand Oh Christ my little so apparently he's gained a bunch of muscles deep a has he's been lifting a lot and You know he hasn't fought two years. Thank God. I'm doing comedy. Yeah, thank God But for me when I look at an older fighter like steep a who's a legend I said that's kind of what I want I want to got to take a long time off in between a bad KO and then You know no one's more disciplined than that guy He's a very disciplined, dedicated fighter.

1:34:55That's why he was the most successful UFC heavyweight champion ever. He's also 40 something years old, right? 42, I think, even. Okay, so you've got to, if you just look realistically at natural athletes when they get to that age, you have concerns. Like, how much of their performance do they have left? Like, and it varies, but it does last longer as a heavyweight. Absolutely. Heavyweight's thinking... Because the, it doesn't, the nervous system doesn't need to be as a rapid fire, like a Phantom Weight. Yeah, yeah, like 42 year old Banta Weight kind of done. But George Foreman won the heavyweight title at 45.

1:35:29Absolutely. So I just feel like yeah, but Bernard was a freak. I just feel like as a fan and as a person who respects the sport, you got to give Steve A. Shot. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Especially when he was supposed to fight John and then John Tor is over. See with me, it's just like if it's a classic thing of it's the mean quote that Don King used to have that. Why he, when they asked him why he was like ripping off Mike Tyson, he was like, you got to keep the lie and hungry, you know? Okay. Imagine that's your justification for stealing money. I know. But Mike Tyson fought six times that year. So that's true.

1:36:04Right. That's true. But that is for some of those guys that that's what some it's as soon as, because, you know, I was a big corner guy. SPG, the lineage, we were at the connection, you know, and as soon as a corner started getting rich. I was in you know as soon as John Jones got rich all of us at home let me guess never gonna see you. I don't think that's what happened with John. With John there was a bunch of other factors. True. Absolutely and that's why that steep fight is also accelerating of like the traditional family guy in the gym and then the other guy who's back in. The greatest psycho that's And I love it dude when he went to Vegas to get his hall of fame induction and just disappeared into the night I Like the Aspen all how many milligrams are those?

1:36:58Three's can I have one? Yeah, this is athletic nicotine is another company. Yeah, somebody give me eight milligrams I was having a panic attack to it. That's too ridiculous. That's too ridiculous. I think a panic attack at two I like I've cut my mind but consumption quite a bit Um, I like that fight. I think John Jones and Tom Aslanol's an interesting fight because Tom is a big, fast, heavyweight. He's a fucking powerhouse man and he's big. He's big as shit and... Big as shit. If you look at fights where John has had difficulty, some of them have been like really elite strikers. Like, he had some difficulty with Leota Machita before he got all of the other.

1:37:40First round Machita. He had some difficulty with Dominic Reyes. Absolutely. Dominic Reyes, some people even thought he lost that fight. Absolutely. Even Thiago, no, Thiago was, no. Santos. That's the guy who would kick both his knees out. Yeah, but that was a split decision. Yeah, and even there Thiago was, even though Thiago was hectic and temperamental in his exchanges, not like a refined striker. He's a super dangerous guy. It creates a problem for John Sten. Yeah. That fucking sledgehammer that that dude has tattooed on his chest. That's for real I mean that's how hard he hits that it that's he dude had a sledgehammer tattooed on his tits It's amazing, but that dude was scary, but also with that spin -aland Jones You know every time people say dude watching him and Cyril gone and all respect to Cyril gone But he never felt anything it was it was a made up guillotine even just on the cage He just was like check this shit out.

1:38:35Yeah, but as long as he gets a hold of your neck and he's doubling you up in that position where you can press his chest on your head That's with a guy like John with his kind of squeeze. That's horrific It's got like serial gone that's only been grappling for like five years You're gonna get strangled. It's just that even with John Jones You know the heavyweight division has always been a shallow division due to the reason of People beings just sure that size of humans. It's a very small percentage including heavyweight boxing. 100%. Did you see that guy, Bakoli? Knock out Jared Anderson, that holy shit, that Bakoli, guys, terrible.

1:39:11Holy shit. Holy shit, I'd heard about him from sparring sessions. That's the first fight they saw yet. Yeah, me too. I watched a highlight reel of them on YouTube, but I'm not the biggest, like I don't know all the fighters that are fighting. I know a bunch, but I know like maybe 30 % of boxing, whereas compared to what I know about MMA. So I had heard about this guy from an article saying that he like no one wants to spar him And I was like how come and then I watched a fight. I'm like, oh, well, that's why Jesus Christ He's 285 pounds. He's six foot six 285 pounds and takes a fucking tremendous shot and a lot of people thought this kid Jared Anderson he's only 24 and he's still very talented, but look at this fucking Jesus Christ and the bro That was round one Okay, he dropped him in round one, but then he hit him with this sneaky ass uppercut Like in the fight show sound with pockets watch this uppercut look at this uppercut dude.

1:40:07I Mean my god this guy's like casually like beating the shit out of them This guy is so big and I heard like people are terrified to spar with this cat Like they don't want to fucking spar with this dude you bring this guy into spar you and he's just beating the fuck out of you And he could take an insane shot. He took like a three -piece like it was nothing like it was nothing He just moves his head a little bit a little bit a little bit when he's getting hit he rolls it a little bit But the really good boxers the guys are spar look at that upper cut that sneaky left upper cut He keeps hitting with look at that when he hits them with I'll say it wasn't exactly in and out of distance and I'm saying just He was a parallel Lex so he could hit with both arms.

1:40:47He's much bigger, right? He's 40 pounds bigger than this dude and he's fucking dangerous Shit, Jesus Look at that right hand man how beautiful is it too, but it's like skillful. It's skillful fluid punching but from a tank He's that pants skill. Yeah skillful. Yeah exactly and he's day and is crazy knockout power and he's a vicious body puncher Too man. I watched some of his highlights of someone's other fights tonight. I went down to rabbit hole Vicious body puncher too. Mm -hmm. It's terrifying. Mm -hmm. Just walk towards you. Just beats your ass. You can't hurt him. Crazy It's like a member of Francis Nogano and who's that South African amazing?

1:41:27Not so no he's not South African. You think about Georgina Rosenstrike? Rosenstrike. Yeah, remember that just stormed him. No, it was literally not even a proper punch It was Francis just walked towards him like this. Yeah, just winging Winking nuclear bombs and one of them caught him boom out cold and another one on the way down boom Yeah, well, that's the kind of power that Francis has That's just crazy. It's crazy. That's why I always love combat sports so much. It's that there's a lot of sports like tennis where a lot of money plays a big role in the sport. It's a rich sport. So a lot of money, a lot of business, a lot of politics centers into the sports soccer is like that, basketball is like lots of politics.

1:42:17but like combat sports is like a dude from yeah like a sand mine right to somewhere in the world. Yep to start K -Oing people and within fire I mean Conor McGregor a guy who's fucking a pipe not an engineer but he was some blue collar job. There's also people that if they do something first and then get into fighting like there's a lot of guys that are like power lifters Yeah, and if I was a guy's NFL players, I think a big one that's going to be We'll see is people Jim Nastix because especially guys who do the rings and things like that Think about how much more arm dexterity and strength those guys have imagine that guy getting your neck You know imagine a guy like that who's a black belt and jujitsu with that kind of crazy strength To be able to hold yourself up in the air like that.

1:43:10I did that maybe three four years of gymnastics before I started Did it help you? Oh, absolutely. That's why that's when I started a wrestling, because wrestlers of Crocoroma wrestlers do gymnastics. They all do flips and shit. So that's when I started watching them practice. And I was doing gymnastics. And I remember when I started jujitsu, I remember just even my get -tops from positions and my attacks where I'm strong, the positions where I could be strong, were much more different than a guy who's like in the gym all the time bench -matching. Right, right, right. For sure, you have much better control, your body.

1:43:41One of the things you found out a 10th planet was with Richie and Geo Martinez was break dancers. Oh absolutely. That's gymnastics. Totally. That's gymnastics. Totally. When those guys started training, where everybody was like, whoa, and so Eddie started learning break dancing moves. He's like, Eddie's the best. He'll like, what do we got to do? What do we got to do? Show me how to break dance. Because those guys can do all that crazy shit where they can spin around on one hand. So they can do a lotus in the air. They can do a handstand. Then they put their legs in the lotus position and they get stand on one hand and hop around on one bananas So that kind of control of your body and that kind of strength like directly those guys really got very well They also trained really hard, but they got very good at your jiu jitsu very quick.

1:44:24Yeah, my part they took used to be a backflip at a nightclub Just slippery shoes for you Whip it out again. I'm slippery. Oh, yeah I'm gonna see men wear those shoes of Mike. Do you hate traction? dude with my When I buy jeans, when I go to stores, the cloaks will always think I'm insane because I'll practice checking for a bit. Just check what you need. You need a pair of origin jeans. Oh, they're stretchy ones? The most light stretchy. Compal ready. They are basically pajamas. They're basically pajamas. They feel like sweatpants. But does it look pretty though? Yeah, let me show you. Go to the origin website.

1:45:02All American made, everything threads, everything. Manufactured in America everything 100 % buttons everything all made in America. This is Jaco Willings company I Have they it's shirts sometimes too when I feel it's just a nice shirt, but it's tight I go what if I need to pull guard they look like regular pants they look like right yeah if you need to pull garden These dude you could fucking train in these I could literally kick the bag in these and I'm not bullshit I'm not boasting you could throw head kicks in these they're like pajamas But they look like jeans. $129. That's $110. That's not my budget.

1:45:33I'll get you a pair. Just text me what your sizes are. I'll get you a pair. They're the shit. There's a bunch of different companies that sell stuff like that. I really like barbell jeans. They do that. They sell those. I've heard of those. Rev town are my favorite. Rev town is like the best cut. Those are the ones I wore in the special. Those are Revtown jeans. They're super stretchy. They're like, you just stretch out in them. But by far, the most comfortable of the origin ones. The origins, they nailed it. Because it's the most loose. Like, you know, the other ones are like really free moving, but they're pink.

1:46:10Checked out his action jeans. Look at that picture. 20 bucks, that's my budget. When I talked about that in my special, people were like, what, truck noris action jeans? Like, they were real thing. We'll find your legs. They had a gusset in the crotch. It does slip or shoes. Yeah, he's got the slip or shoes. Chuck didn't give a fuck about traction. Chuck, what's the worry about you? He's trying to pivot on your son. I used to work as a bouncer in a club where there was an outfit for the security too. And dress shoes, dress pants, red, suspenders, and like a fully, like a tux, what's the tuxedo shirt?

1:46:45Like a collar shirt. Stiff, not good, but the whole time being like, I'm gonna rip these pants as soon as I even do anything. Not only that, but someone with a collar on, if you have a collar, if you have like a shirt with a collar, that is a weapon against you that's on your neck. Like why do you have that? That seems so crazy. If you're in a position where you think you might have to defend yourself, you should be wearing something that tears away from your body fairly easily around the upper body and the lower body, it better give you some movement. Yeah. You can't have any time, and you better have some goddamn traction on the bottom of your soul.

1:47:20You can't have some slight big issues. And the floor is a nightclub for those are all fucking all -policly free and Beer and shit spilled everywhere every fight I would see would literally be the first guy throwing the bunch WIPPY! Yep, and they're all on the ground and then people are kicking you in the head with boots on yeah fuck that fuck that Fuck that fuck that yeah fucking in fights, you know, that's the other thing people I say if you if I could fight I'd fucking be fucking everybody like no you would need to be dead I punched one person in my lifetime working there just one person most of the time I could grab them I tried to get him in a hole that would calm down and one time it was so kept the this was this Big fucking guy and he opened with a front kick.

1:48:01Oh, no a well Hip over fat dude like 40 years old, but I threw legit front kick. Yeah, that's immediately I knew I'm not gonna. Yeah, I'm not gonna just grab him. That's a crazy thing to open with. Yeah, I Get a hold of that and I throw an overhand Immediately break my thumb to this day Immediately overhand straight to his temple and I feel all my hand. It's done. It's done The guy get hurt or no, no, not a tent not a tent You know, you know how he left the nightclub how he dragged his wife with by her hair Like a and left me club into the night She likes probably a bar. It is fuck a bunch of people up and then drag her away like let's go baby And she just rides them and then we went to court from that incident.

1:48:54Oh my God Oh, did he get sooner? Did you suit them? I think it was the nightclub suing him not suing but so whatever settlement or I mean it's still people got hurt so it's still some sort of an investigation right but I had to test the vine court and he had to up do like a formal apology they do that here too right where you have to like stand up in court and do a formal and yet to me and the other bartenders working there I was the only security worker in that night of course that's classic night club 200 people only guy 19 year old kid cool yeah great with a bartender who's gay so we have to be and yet apologize he goes he goes gentleman I'm sorry and you know how he showed up to court he was just all swollen up not from that fight this this was once later so he's just living that lifestyle.

1:49:43This is how they're wrong. Yeah, he was just so tough in court and was like, I'm sorry gentlemen. And just goes into the day. Maybe the cops beat his ass. Maybe, but he just came to go and remember all of us being like, Jesus Christ is mongoloid. It's fucking. Some dudes like to fight. That's a very unfortunate thing that you enjoy. See, that was another thing that when I went to all these self -defense class, I used to go to the sparring is not real life combat. In real life combat I hurt you, I kill you. And I'm like, interesting. But I would already go to Jiu -Jitsu, I would have been in my head like, you know this instruction shows up, he's got a belly button that has hair in it, and it's a little floppy.

1:50:25And I'm like, how can if I'm low kick you? Right. You're gonna feel something. And that was a big problem, you know, with self -defense courses. And me and Preet, that Jiu -Jitsu guy, We actually used to go to a couple of youth camps where there was trouble some youth, you know, who get into fights And we would do demonstrations where Do you know in the 90s in Eastern Europe? There was a rise in people getting stabbed Because people would think that you take this course on you know You take a course every Sunday, right? They teach you somebody had to actually be done I remember my friend telling me like if you and attack me with a knife You're more dangerous to yourself than you are to me because he believed in this system And then all these retards would be in fucking Latvia or something and you're with your girl and some crackhead comes up at you and you You've carved up here you go, baby You see your fucking blood on your hands and in that yeah, and that's always what I learned from immediately I was like From those street from working as a bouncer is that yeah, I'm comfortable in a sparring environment mouth guard on and We're friends even though you're trying to take my head off I'm in a comfortable environment where I know if I go out, it's over.

1:51:41If I could hurt, if you hurt me with a middle kick. You're not going to get. But there's men out there who go to bars, they get gacked up and they just brawl. Those are men who are comfortable in the chaos of a bar. You know? Also, probably not making good decisions at any stage of their life. See, that's what I'm saying. Is that even though I might be a jujitsu guy, this guy's going to bite my ear. He's gonna, you know, you don't want to fight people period. So that's when I really put together all those self -defense I mean, it would go to youth camps and we would he would like he would like He would like crank a up a Plastic bottle and he would be like okay, are you do all the cool moves that we've that they all teach you know like hi Behind the back grab the knife, you know, and then he would just you know I would like grab his wrist and then he would just pull the knife away and he's like at that point you have a deep cut in your arm You'd be fucked and he would look at those kids and go so you guys think that if you see your white flesh like a rose Open up in your palm you think you're gonna look at that and go okay Fucking get the pose no, that's a Instant panic attack survival instinct, you know video recently.

1:52:53I don't want to see if it's really bad Is that a knife fight? I'm a very no. It's almost describing exactly where you're saying like these guys This guy gets his leg cut really bad. Oh, I did see that don't show it to me. Don't show it to me It's horrible, it's horrible, it's horrible. I've seen all of the stuff. There are beat nuked this kid and the kid pulls a knife out and slices his thigh open almost to the bone. Like where it opens up like a flap. Dude, I got a piece of bat. Oh, let's be right back, we'll be right back. And we're back. Oh, it feels so good. There's a feeling that when you have to pee that like you have like 30 % of your mind is available.

1:53:2570 % is like don't touch your pants. Don't, and you're talking about wrist locks. I'm like, right gotta get the car like, I have to pee too, but I was just like I'm gonna piss my pants on this. No, we did it. We held it together. We held it together. Hey, thank you for being there. Sorry, it was a lot of fun. Oh, and Friday night too. By the way, I have to say, dude, watching you do that live special is amazing to just watch you. Dude, me and Ron White were in the green room when you were on States and we were like, thank God, we're just chilling. You know, in comments, it's scary. It's scary.

1:54:01Yeah. But then again, and here's another point that I have to say that, do you know how crazy it is that you have, okay, one of the biggest podcasts in the world, but you're an actual practitioner of an art form that only only 10 years ago was not even stand up comedy wasn't even the main form of comedy. There was sketch comedy, improv, steps, movies, stand up, stand up was a subsidiary art form of comedy, like a small genre, and that you, with now your platform and your voice, are a practitioner. You could, this is how lucky we as comedians are to have a guy who's an actual practicing comedian.

1:54:46You could also be like a famous guy and just live in the shadows, show up at a club every two months be a superstar, because you're talented and funny enough, do a good set. You know, people go home, that was great, that was Joe Rogan, because he's so, because people come out to see you, they'll have a good experience. But you're a guy, you're riding bits, you're like, coming to the club, you're on club, of course, you're coming to the club, and you're writing, you're working on it, you're fixing it, and how lucky we are to have a guy who's an actual, you could be like a piece of shit asshole.

1:55:25You could. Absolutely. Yeah, but it wouldn't work. We would never have been able to do what we're doing, and what we're doing is really good for me too. It's one of the reasons why, like, I think we're all benefiting fitting greatly from that place. We're all benefiting from the vibe of it. Nobody's benefited more than me. You need more than you. I've been benefited more than you. Yeah, we're both benefiting. It's all good, dude. It's all for everybody. It's all, we're all getting something out of it and we're all getting something in it together too. That's the cool part about it. We're all like, you know, Asano, he says that, that's one of the things that the door guy say.

1:55:59When one of them gets a gig, they say we up. Dude, they're so supportive. Because I also did I auditioned for Adam I auditioned for Adam I got into the club the The like proper way I didn't I wasn't some fucking me. Nobody knew who you were Yeah, and whenever I get some opportunity like this right now They're all like so cheering for me, you know It's very supportive because they also know that that this all the stuff that's happening to you can happen to them all the stuff That's happening right now to William Montgomery could happen to you amazing all the stuff that's happening to David Lucas and Cam Patterson and all these guys these Hans Kim Hans Kim selling out weekends everywhere.

1:56:36He's killing it and he's doing great. His act is tight. He's got some funny shit, man. He's got some funny shitty works out. That did get as spreadsheets and shit. He's going over his material. I'm fucking Google Docs. You know, every fucking week, there's another guy in that club that I'm like, he's this and then I do Tyler Fisher. Yep, oh my god, he's hilarious. Bro that bit he does about being a cop for the pedals bro How funny is that how funny is that bit? I I showed it to the door guys I filled myself behind the curtain at fat man having to follow Tyler I filled my own face and the applause is that he's getting and me being like this And I always refer to I go hey Tyler how about we say how about we keep five characters today He has a fool because he has characters.

1:57:23Oh, yeah, he goes to the crowd. He jumps He used the stage, liners, jokes, anecdotes, callbacks. Everything is tight. Yeah, it's tight and he's got so much energy and enthusiasm and that guy was having a hard time. He was telling the podcast that he got dropped by his agent because they couldn't handle any more white straight men. Like, you don't think, do you guys, are you in the talent business? You don't see how talented that fucking guy is? But, you know, it's like this weird thing that we're all a part of. Well, I was just, I mean, think of my storyline. In 8th of December, I'm in London, the UK.

1:58:01I went to London a couple of years ago, had a great time, because I was doing the open mic circuit. But this time I went back as a headliner, wanting to maybe move up in the industry. Two months, nothing's happening. Struggling, just because I went to New York, same thing. It was just because I didn't really have a connection. Nobody really knew me. And I'm also not a guy who's great at like showing up at the park. I don't do coke. I hang, but I only talk bits. So and I would go to like, let's say a New York like a comedy seller and there's like 20 guys with backpacks and trite boats all waiting to talk to the manager.

1:58:47You know? And when I see that I always feel like I don't want to be another asshole, you know, hello It's my I'm the guy, you know So I just felt like on every audition I had when you audition in a London. That's also good shout out to Adam Ike it. Do you know how crazy that is that he watches Sunday Monday? He watches Everybody you can be on the street a Guy and you get to be in front of the probably the most important talent scout and he watches them and he gives you And if you do a good job, he'll give you a spot. That's when he's really good at it. He's really good at it. He really understands comedy.

1:59:25He understands comedy. He gets it. He sees voices. He gives everybody a shot. He loves it. He was on a show with Norma Donald. Like they were coasts. In say, his best friend. Yeah, yeah. Adam's awesome. And he was one of the first resources. He was the first guy that I got when while I was deciding to do this. He was number one. So I remember when Sam, like, and then, yeah, so 8th of December, I fly over to Austin, on 9th of December, I have nothing's going on. Sam talent is in town just by accident in Austin. And he came to Estonia to visit me. We only talked to him online before that. And he goes, you're sure I'll get you a spot, but I didn't want to bother him, so I'm still signing up outside.

2:00:07And then Sam goes, where are you? Adams looking for you. And I go, oh shit, I go to the security, you know, the Avengers are out there. I gotta be like, hey guys. I gotta be like, hey guys. And they're all here in my accent. They're like, what the fuck? Yeah, you gotta get somebody. Sam comes out. I do my set. And even before my set, I see Adam Eget. And I'm like, oh, that's the Adam Eget. Because I read about him and, no, Brody, Steven Brody, Steven's in his special. Always says Adam Eget like seven times. So remember that name. Adam Eget. Adam Eget trying to hold me down. This is my shot! And he would, and he's back there and I'm like, oh shit, he actually, dude, I'm 12 years into this and to see a talent manager, a scout or whatever, to actually watch your set is actually rare.

2:00:57Well, the story with me and Adam is, Adam was, he used to work at the tempi improv, and that's why I met him, and he was always a great guy. And then he came over to L .A. and started working at the comedy store when I had left. So I had left after the Carlos Monsia thing, I was gone for seven years. So I was doing the improv, I was doing the ice house, I was doing other clubs. And so then he came and met me. I think it was like 2014. Or yeah, 2014. So seven years after 2007 now. And I was like, come on, come on. I'm doing the talent quarter now, they got rid of the other guy. And I was like, oh, I don't know, man.

2:01:35I don't know if I want to go back. It's just like I just felt so fucked over the whole thing was so gross It was like fuck that place, but then Ari was doing a special there So I was here. Yeah, I knew I had me there. So I had to go back So I went back Monday night before Ari or whatever night Rose battle was that and I sat in the audience at Rose battle. It was insane. It was insane Jeff Ross said this is like my first time at the club in seven years and like it was that was a cool feeling like to be like a felt comfortable there again. And then I watched Ari, I have to be there for Ari. I mean, this is not just Ari's first big special on Comedy Central, but it's also Ari, my friend, who I knew who was a doorman.

2:02:24Okay, when I was on, I guess I was on either news radio or fear factor, I don't know what TV show was on at the time I met Ari. It might have been fear factor. But like all of a sudden I'm hanging out with this kid, This young kid just start now and then we become friends and he goes on the road with me and we work together We do podcasts together and then all the sudden all these years later He's got his own fucking Comedy Central special and he's got his own Comedy Central TV show Which is one of the reasons why they gave him a special and he's filming it in the fucking OR I have to be there.

2:02:53I had to be there And so then I came back and so now is there all the time then I just started going like every day I was there all the time Well, yeah, we heard about it on the podcast all the time. I just went back full on and then Adam and I started talking and One of the things we started talking I was like what do you want do want to do they felt you know like a little bit underpaid And there's a lot I go what do you want to do like what would like what would be the ideal way? To open up a club and we start talking about what to do we start talking about what do you what is what is really important?

2:03:25What's really important is like a talent coordinator is a lot of time It's just the manager picking headliners to come in for the weekend or some insane girlfriend of the owner Yeah, so this is the difference the difference is I think in I think there's probably different kinds of classifications for what kind of clubs They are our club is a development club. Absolutely. It's not just a club for great headliners like when Colin Quinn is here or Dice is here It's a club for developing so we said okay How many nights a week should we have open Mike night and we said two let's do Sunday and Monday So two nights full open mic night and then it was Adam's idea to have Door people audition with their act and I was like, you know what door guys fucked off so much at the comedy store They were so bad at doing certain things.

2:04:13They were scamming money and getting people to bribe them Which we've had we've had that too, but that's normal right you know you got it Comedians, dude. Yeah, while people but the door people at the mothership are so much better than any of the door people at the comedy store. And I think part of it is because there is this ethic there that we're all the same thing. We're all together. We're all the same. We're all hanging out together at Midseys Bar. We're all the exact same thing. Just some of us have been doing it 30 years. Some of us have been doing it 12 years. Some of us have been doing it five years.

2:04:47Some of us moved here because they did a few open mic nights. It's the only thing they ever loved in their life. It's the only thing they ever wanted to do in their life. They're like, is what gets them the job. And if you could string together a few minutes and you could show that you could get those sparks going and make a little campfire, okay. Let's see how much better you get at making campfires. Let's see what you can do. And that's the difference between that club and everywhere else. And it all goes all the way up to the very top. Whether it's Shane or Tony or anybody who's working on their act and working on new stuff, you see them.

2:05:23You see Brian Simpson constantly. Ron White, sharper than he's ever been. How was that? He's a thousand years old. Dude, Ron White was born before the worst feet. People still had fins. He's an animal. He's better than he's ever been before. Yeah, we were driving to your special in San Antonio. He picked me up from my house, and I'm like, I'm in the corner with Ron White, and he's just talking about DMT doing 90 miles an hour all the way sideways. He's like, all right, there's another world out there. I'm like, we're doing 19 this one, though. Oh, rons in the simulation for sure. He, but also like I was saying about you, he also, you might think that this guy will come to the club and be a superstar.

2:06:06No, he comes in and works on his act, talks about bits and he's hanging out and having a panic attack just like I am. And he loves when a bit bombs, he comes back, well that fucking didn't work at all. At all. He's like, I explain to us, explain to us what is bit bomb. He comes to the agreement with something he got. with that fucking sock. Yeah, yeah, they weren't my favorite. But he was, he's two things. One, he's the reason why I moved here. Because he was the first guy. He was here before the pandemic. But he's from Texas. Yes. So he moved here, like I was like, where have you been? Cause I knew he's still at his house in Beverly Hills.

2:06:40I'm gonna get rid of my house in Beverly Hills. I'm gonna live down here in Texas. And so he said it was a center of the country. You could travel anywhere. And I was like, damn, maybe. But I'm like, I can't live there. I was always wanting to get the fuck out of LA, but I can't leave the store. But once they shut the store down, I was like, oh, all right. Well, what the fuck am I here for? The crime? Like, what am I here for? I'm not here for the store. I don't want my movies. Yeah, I don't want my youngest kids to grow up in this place. It seems like it's getting worse. I also felt like this better place is to be.

2:07:13And so when we all came out here together, it's like we all, especially when we first started talking about the developing of the club was the whole idea was like let's do it our way. Let's do it the right way. It's supposed to do it as a business. Let's do it as like what are you trying to do? You're just trying to make the best club possible. Okay, well then do that. And then the business stuff put that aside. You got to stop, don't think about maximizing profits because there's only one shareholder. So let's just do it the right way. And the right way is the comedians get most of the money.

2:07:47The right way is you bring the best people in. The right way is you develop talent. The right way is you have a show like Kill Tone, that sets his tone for the entire comedy universe. It sets the tone. And then guys like you can get on that stage, crack some fucking great bits. And then bam. It's crazy. You're off to the race? And I kind of feel like, because I'm a big book, I've read everything about the comedy story, everything about the history of the industry, late night wars, David Letterman moving, Johnny Carson moving from New York to the Burbank, Cloquet, I've know everything. And I kind of feel like I'm living the gold rush that was in the 80s and 90s in Comedy Store.

2:08:27I kind of feel like I'm living that right now. This one's crazier. Well, yeah. This one's crazier, because this one people are doing arenas. I mean, we're doing Kill Tony this weekend in Masses Quargaarden. There's two nights. Two nights in New York City. Sold out Masses Quargaarden. This is Tony's and Red Band's coming out party. This is like this is the big deal. This is the big deal. They sold this out quick quick, you know, and it's a beautiful thing to see It's a beautiful thing to see everybody Flourishing and this idea that we had actually work. It's actually coming to fruition You know amazing.

2:08:58Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, and to have you guys to have you Tony and Ron there when I was filming that thing Also, so the green room was just like regular green room regular ass green room, right? So we're used to hanging out, having fun, laughing, being fun, and just like being silly together. So we're all being silly, so I was just super loose. But then also there was that moment where me and you were in your green room, and both of us were in our notebooks for about 20 minutes just in silence. And remember after thinking like, holy shit. See, this is what it's all about. Yeah. We're just writing bits and just...

2:09:34You gotta work at it, man. And sometimes we don't. You know sometimes we don't and one of the things that really made me think a lot about this The live thing. It's like first of all I said no when my manager called me said you want to do a live special? I said fuck that I don't do that and then I was I was I got off the phone with her I was driving and I was like Why do I say no like why is such a pussy? Oh, cuz you're scared you're scared of doing it live And I was like oh why are you scared of doing it live like what is it about like you do everything live? Like, you do UFC Live, podcasts are essentially, they're, you know, they're recorded, but you just, you're just free -wheeling, right?

2:10:09So why can't you do that live? Like, just prepare better, just prepare more. So I was preparing way more. Oh, yeah, watching you develop that hour was insane. You were working. Dude, also, I've never seen you off. I've seen you in the green room, maybe in a different mood than the other night, dude. When you go on stage, it's the rock city, every fucking night. It's crazy to watch. Well, I just been preparing this set for quite a while. You know, I thought I was gonna do a special in August of 2020. That was the plan, because I had done a 2018, so I did 2016 was triggered, and then my next Netflix special was 2018.

2:10:46That was Strange Times, and I was gonna do one in 2020 and call it Sacred Clown. And it was based on the Lakota Hayoka, was the person in the tribe that made fun of everything, because if you couldn't make fun of anything, it was bullshit. but they had like a spiritual person in their tribe. Their goal was to make fun of everything. It was a sacred clown. And so I was like, that's perfect, because that's what it is. You just talk and shit and make it fun of things and you should be able to do that about everything and everything you can't make fun of is most likely bullshit. Well, that's your comedy club, dude.

2:11:15I love that you called your comedy rooms after the two nuclear bombs. But that already shows there's no rules. There's no rules. It's over. And I was worried about that at first. I was like, God, it's so perfect. That's perfect. That's letting you know there are no rules. You know one of the reasons why I decided to definitely call it that? Why? Because I told it to Louis CK. Anyway. Ah! I go that's it. It has signed that. And also it's part of UFO folklore. One of the main reasons why I wanted to have them because I knew I had two rooms and I knew there was two bombs. And it was after those two nuclear bombs were dropped that they started Kenneth Arnold had his sightings.

2:11:50Roswell, New Mexico had that big siding, like all the big events of UFO folklore happen after the bomb. And the idea is that these interdimensional beings, these, they go, okay, these fucking crazy territorial apes have now developed nuclear bombs. This could be very dangerous, because if these idiots arm themselves as we have right now, to the point where they can blow up the whole world, like many, many times over, they might do it. Let's like let's make sure everything's cool. And so that's when all the UFOs start so before the comedy mothership Where this UFO based thing we kind of had to have those as the name because that's what that's what sends out the signal Yeah, those bombs fat man and little boy those bombs this that's what if you believe and I I love to believe I don't 100 % believe but I kind of love to believe I love to least talk about it If you believe that we were visited multiple times by alien life and a lot of it happened after 1947 make sense.

2:12:49Well, yeah, if the universe is infinite and there's a there's a higher species out there, you would look at Earth and you'd be interested. 100%. And then who knows what happened in Roswell was so the bombs were 45. Roswell was 47. Who knows what really happened at Roswell? But they do know that whatever they did, they took that wreckage and they flew it in two separate jets to Wright Patterson Air Force Base because they didn't with one of the jets went down. They wanted to make sure they still had the wreckage. They put it in two different sets. That's how important this shit was, whatever the fuck it was.

2:13:22Bob, Bob, Bob's are. Who had that crazy strategy? I just remember one story where he told that there were like multiple doors open. And for him, like it was an act because they were separated or something where he was working on. And by accident, he like saw the spaceship like through the doors. And I'm ever being like holy shit. Well, he saw, when he went in to see it for the first time, it added American flag sticker on it. And his first inclination was, oh, this is why people keep seeing these things. These are hours. But then the way it's described now, who knows if it's true. Yeah, who knows?

2:13:55But I'd love to believe it is. And the way he describes it is like they essentially brought him in and said, tell me what this is. Figure this out. How does this work? What is it? And they really never did. They kind of got a working understanding of it. But it based on some element that was only theoretical at the time now been proven by one of the the particle colliders, they created this particle. I drum particle collider, right? Yeah, the one in Switzerland? Yeah, that's where it is, right? That's the, that's the one they work all. Yeah, that's one they're worried about. Cool, cool. We make a black hole that shoot you.

2:14:27I'm gonna buy a big like mushrooms for the first time and start reading about it. I'm gonna grate the fucking, those super nerds are gonna kill us all. But they did discover that this element that Bob Lazar theorized exists. But then what I've heard is like, They already knew that that was going to be an element. So him saying that there's a lot of things like the Higgs boson, there's a lot of things that they knew existed, but they needed to get proof of it through the particle colliders. And so a lot of people aren't that impressed with that, but he said they had a stable isotope. They had a stable version of this element, and this is what powered this generator.

2:15:04And this stable version of this element would sit inside of this container, and it would be bombarded with radiation and it would somehow or another manipulate gravity. It's the wildest story ever, the most fun story ever. But he essentially said they were trying for years to try to figure out how to reproduce it. They couldn't figure out how it worked. They did a bunch of different things. One guy died, apparently, trying to cut into it. Holy shit. Yeah, that was a guy before him, apparently. Yeah. And then there was the wackiest thing of alls that we talked about this yesterday. They said that they had a big thing on religion and one of the things where they said that they look at us as containers Yeah, and it's like that religion was here so that we don't damage what's inside the container The religion was put here to give people rules and regulations so they could foster they don't destroy their souls So like they're just harvesting our souls.

2:15:58Yeah, I'm making sure our souls don't go wrong We'll be just sucking and fucking and sucking right no, imagine that if that's what happens That's how they trick you into downloading your brain into a computer. That's it. That's the end result They're just trying to get that soul and then you are just trapped and that's what hell really is Just stuck on a hard drive with nothing there. Imagine living your whole life being paralyzed But you don't need food or water, but you're lying on the floor of an empty an empty office building That's that's you inside a computer for in the void. And they don't download anybody else under your hard drive either.

2:16:33In the void. Because if they have other people on that hard drive, it'll ruin the hard drive. I can't. You have code in my code, mixing together. Now come on here. Yeah, we're in a weird time, my brother. We're in a weird time because the reason why comedy, as you were saying earlier, is like this kind of comedy is like the most prevalent comedy. Because the only one you could actually be free and do, you can't make tropic thunder anymore. You can't make you know there's there'll be a there'll be a movie. It's a pendulum, you know culture is always a pendulum There'll be some dude. They'll be the new dandruff dice clay.

2:17:06They'll be the new tropic thunder. They'll be the new super bad I hope so yeah 100 % cuz that's some so cuz as soon as as soon as Something is like 51 % of a popular opinion the 49 % becomes cool the rebellion comes cool Yeah, but it won't even be popular opinion the popular opinion is a almost a hundred percent that they would want Tropical yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, real popular opinion amongst people who go to see those films Let me say it that way because popular opinion amongst people who don't go see super bad what differences it make But the people that do go see those movies and do enjoy those movies would go to see one right now most of them Most but there's always but yeah, but and that's why I always be there's so much fun in rebellion and breaking the rules And the more I always thought, I think the stronger a line is, the more power you have of crossing it, you know?

2:18:00Right, right, right. So I just don't think the line is real. I think the line is a small, very vocal minority of people. And the majority of people know what jokes are. Yeah. But you can't finance these things anymore. But then again, if it's all no rules and no like, if you don't get a reaction, then it doesn't have any power. You know, it's like, like, when Tony, we were just talking in the green room. when Tony Hinchcliffe said, Faggot on Netflix at the Tom Brady Rose. That's like, if you're a culture nerd, that's like a cultural moment. Right, because. Because of the Confederate Fag. Yeah, because he's saying something that unanimously five years ago was the valine.

2:18:41Yeah, but now. The lines moved. It doesn't even move, but people dance around the line and it gives it power. Because if you create a line, you're gonna create people who are gonna dance around it, give them, and that's it. Yeah, but no, we didn't agree to the line. That's why. But the thing is that line only existed in corporate controlled media and existed in virtue signaling internet people. But that's the power of the release. Right, but that line didn't exist amongst friends. Oh, that's why. Off the record talk? Yeah. Real shit talk, that line never existed. Retard was on the table. Oh, the, yeah.

2:19:14Retard has never left the table. Never left the table. Especially in quiet company when you're alone. Yeah, what's going on with your brother, dude? He's fucking retarded. I can't talk to him, he doesn't listen. That's normal talk, normal talk. We know what that means. And the idea that we're supposed to back off these words because a select minority of very vocal people who are super sensitive and probably medicated, like, no, no, don't listen. Like, no, don't watch that movie. No, don't go to see that stand up. You don't have to like everything. There's a lot I don't like that other people love.

2:19:48And guess what, I'm fine with that. I like it. I like the fact is a variety of different human beings. It's a fun part of being a human. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah. And you know, that's the beauty of true diversity. You know, like one of the things that's great about the club is the lineup is actually very diverse, but not because we wanted it to be diverse. We wanted people who are really good. Keelers. And they come in all fucking sizes and shapes. They come out of camera, man. Yeah fat gay guys small fucking porn addicts Like this never this they're all over the place. They're all over the place everybody's different and That's good.

2:20:31That's good for everybody and it's like we speak this language. We're here for this art form Everything else is fine like you just be a nice person be nice to us. We're nice to you We can nice to each other. We're all gonna grow from this experience. We're all gonna be better people because of this We're all gonna be better members of a community. We're creating a community Also their nights at the little boy because of the yonder bags and stuff I'll say some stuff. Yeah, you're a little wild that I know is not leaving this room and the release You see in the people where the laugh and so on. There's like a 40 -year -old guy with his wife And he's like I can't believe this European fuck Is saying this this is not okay, but that's so fun Right, but there's a lot of people that are laughing really hard.

2:21:17No, no, no, that's why he but he's also laughing because it's not okay But it is okay. It is okay here But it should be okay everywhere. It's okay in private company. Right? Oh absolutely But the record talk off the record talk. Yeah, but okay and this art form requires that you do that It does it doesn't require you have to do it. There's guys like you know Brian Regan who are brilliant Gaffigan, brilliant. Gaffigan's brilliant. You never have to worry about him if he reads Twitter. You never have to worry about him offending him, right? His stuff is sweetly. He's part of Gatsun. Perfect example.

2:21:51Nate's genius. Genius, brilliant. You can talk about table. Squeaky clean. Yeah. Those guys have always existed and those guys are us too. It's fine. It's like no one dislikes Sebastian. You know, everyone loves Sebastian. He was just at the club last night. Yeah, I brought him up. Amazing. He's the best. The nicest guy too, I love him. Talks about his mole infestation. And how he matched the cook. This is like cook the stew. You ever get a guy. He's awesome. I actually just got a message for one of my friends that they saw him at the club last night. He was brilliant. But like the point is like everybody's different.

2:22:26That's great. That's great. Boy, girl, gay, straight. Everybody. There's a bunch. All you have to do is be good. That's it. And you don't get any brownie points for your group if you're not good. Okay? If you want to come on just because you're this or that, guess what? There's no room for that. Well, all the, you have to be good. All the festivals. Comedy festival, I was a big festival showroom because that was where you get up back in the day. Australia, Edinburgh, GFL, they're falling apart because they didn't listen to the ripples of laughter. Well, they're doing a different thing. Here's the problem.

2:22:59The people that are doing the festival themselves are not usually like working stand -up comedians. Yeah. Right. So there are people that exist in the ecosystem that aren't creating the thing. Right. So they know what they like, they might know what they, and they might also apply their own personal politics to their decisions about what kind of comedy they want to see. It's also, is it their personal politics or is it the politics that they think people are going to gravitate to? You know, I think it's both because I think primarily in show business people are indoctrinated into the cult of leftism.

2:23:34It's almost universal in show business, except for a lot of musicians that kind of keep it undercover. But a lot of actors have to keep it undercover too. Like a conservative actor is just keep their mouth shut, like Chris Rat type dudes. They get in trouble every time we talk about Jesus. John Cena talking in Chinese. Yeah, yeah. Well, that was different. That was a little bit of an apology. I didn't do that a bit in my act. But the whole thing about it is that, you know, you've got to let people express themselves however they are. However, whatever, whatever, what are you? You know, Tyler Fisher is very different than David Lucas, right?

2:24:11David Lucas is very different than Ron White. Everyone has to be able to express themselves in whatever form they find themselves in going through this life the best possible way they can. That's what we're set not to do. But that's like that jasting that I was talking about is the resignation of the feelings of the story that you're expressing that people gravitate to and when you start putting a bullshit agenda out there I feel it. I see it 100 % I see it and that the the anti -bullshit is that green room because the green room was so fun that you go on stage from there with those good vibes Like I oftentimes I'm like sad that I have to shut my phone off You know, I'm like sad.

2:24:47I gotta go guys and I'm sad that I have to leave our fun club house I'm not excited that I have to go on stage. I know, I'm excited to go on stage. I'm not really, but I want to continue the conversation. I know I'm going to have a great time on stage. I'm looking forward to it, but I want to continue the conversation. And then having you guys in the green room with me when I filmed the special was huge, man. It was huge, because it really was like, I always feel this like, I went camping with Brian Calon once, we went on a deer hunt, and I was like, this is going to be crazy. We're going to go to Montana, it's going to be freezing.

2:25:18It's going to be five degrees outside. We're gonna be sleeping on the frozen ground. We're gonna go hunt some mule deer in the mountains. You wanna do it? He's like, fuck it. So we did it. But I was like, if you and I are together, it'll be fun no matter where we are. Brian and I could be hanging out in some shitty motel in the middle of Saskatchewan just laughing our asses off. So I was like, ah, because we're friends. And we've been friends forever. And so we can have fun together. And so no matter how chaotic the situation is, when you have friends with you, it changes where the situation is.

2:25:45So even though that was a live show in front of who knows how many fucking people watching live on Netflix. I was hanging out with you guys, those normal show. So I just kept myself in normal show mind and just went on stage. It was very cool to learn, like watch you from the side and be like, yeah, you're just doing another set. And also you were so well prepared that you were like the perfect guy to do that live special, you know. You've got to prepare in a different way. It's like, there's a thing about archery, okay? Like if you say if you're proficient at 50 yards, you can hit a bullseye on a regular basis at 50 yards.

2:26:25You really should be hunting at about 25 yards. Because at 25 yards, you're shaking, you got adrenaline, there's anxiety, maybe this is a new thing, you know, there's a wild hog moving 50 yards away from you and you're drawn on like, oh my God, is this really happening? and like you probably shouldn't be shooting at 50 yards. If you want to shoot at 50 yards, you should be really proficient at 100 yards and you should have a bunch of shots already under your belt so you are accustomed to this experience. So with comedy, I was like, okay, I know I've done a bunch of live shows, but I can't just go up on stage like this is a regular live show.

2:27:03Like I've done a bunch of shows in front of a live audience. This is gonna be a way different pressure and if I don't agree to that in my mind and if I don't address that in my mind, and over -prepared. You let that tiny window of doubt open, and that the little demon of doubt will sneak in and steal your confidence and fuck with your head and give you anxiety and make you start thinking, oh, what if you bomb? What if you forget the jokes? What if you forget what place you're at? What if you forget the line? What if you forget the punch line? What about that new punch line? You're gonna do it, you're gonna forget it.

2:27:37Ah! You could mine fuck yourself or you could just super over -prepared. So I super over -prepared. I listened to recordings, I watched videos, I wrote for like I Prepared for like five hours the day of the show. I never left my computer. That's how I always feel about writing and Writing during the day about comedy is people always call it. You just write an act and I go to be honest 99 % of the shit I write during the day doesn't end up actually working on stage most bits still click on stage But I can't, I have to give an energy out to the universe that listen, I'm preparing for this. Just so I know that I'm ready, you know, when I go on stage.

2:28:22And even though you can't exactly say that I'm writing the perfect set and it's going to go as I wrote it, but the energy that I put out in the universe is that I'm preparing. Yeah, it's also, that's not the process. the process isn't you write it exactly as you're going to say it because you really need to say in front of an audience to know how to say it exactly and you just say hear it for yourself too and you need to actually the whole thing is it's a framework for you being in the moment talking about that thing right and if you can like if you can set that framework up well on piece of paper or on a computer screen that's great but then you review it and then you keep tweaking it and you keep fucking with it But also if I don't write, I just feel like I'm...

2:29:02Why am I not working hard at this? And that gives me anxiety of being like... Because I remember that first lesson in martial arts that I had the first lesson in my life. I, we have compulsive military serves in Estonia, which I didn't do. I regret it. The only reason I didn't do it is I did sports. And guys who went to do the military service, they ate shit food, got back, injuries came back. And they lost a year in their athletic life. and a year, as you know, in a athletic version, that's huge. So I didn't do that. I regret it that. But the first lesson I got through martial arts was that why I wasn't successful in mixed martial arts wasn't because I'm physically not, I wasn't talented.

2:29:42But the reason I wasn't successful was because I always thought about, I want to de -accolate. I want to be the cool guy who gets the headkick, Kisses the girl right and it's cool Dude you didn't want to deliver I didn't want during practice during like you did so classes when my when breed is talking about Arm bar defense I'd be day dreaming about what song am I gonna come out to? You know So are you a showman and I would go I Just boring dude. I want to go spar so I would go to Thai boxing clubs and spar and have fun with my friends I would build a fake ring in our gym and we would do all the cool stuff that we wanted to do and Then I remember maybe a year later.

2:30:27There was this there was a doesn't nerdy guy who started same year as me nerdy oh class not physically not gifts at all a year later I spar with him and he this fucking nerd is fucking me up with a jab, but that's because he gave He he had math time We always call it in resting this expression called mat time. Sure. Oh, you can be amazing and talented and of fucking beast. But if I do 400 hours and you do 22, no matter at the end of the day, I'm going to get you because I have mat time. Especially with Jiu Jitsu. Especially. But it's also how much energy are you putting towards a thing? Exactly.

2:31:10That's really what it is. And it wasn't that. And that's what I learned about the whole thing. I was like, yeah, he was putting energy into the universe and committing to something. And putting that out there. And even though it's also you're looking for a result and he's involved in the process. You have to trust the process. That's the process of writing. Exactly. And this is one thing that I tell comics all the time. They always say I write on stage. I'm like, bro, I do too. I do too. We all do, especially when you do bottom the barrel. You always write on stage. You're fucking around. I fuck around all the time.

2:31:42That's fine. It's fine to fuck around. Most of my bits come like this. Sometimes they do, but also you can write. Yeah, this doesn't hurt you to write. It doesn't hurt you. No, and me preparing for this live special may be really concentrate on tightening up segways. I didn't want it, and it anything to be clunky. I wanted to really make sure that I had it fucking polished down. Jerry Seinfeld had a great quote where he goes like that the comedian told him, yeah, right on stage. He said, I'll see you in 20 years. You look, you can write on stage. There was a great article that was out, there was about Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock.

2:32:17I think it was in Fortune Magazine, see if you could find it, but essentially they were saying, Chris Rock said this best. The guy was going, what do you do during the day? He goes, I don't do nothing, but I do open mics every night. And he said, during the days where you make your money, at night is when you collect it. Wow. Look at that. You collect your money at night, but you make it during the day. So true. because the performance is just a byproduct. It's a great article. And it's the perfect mindset, especially coming from a guy like Chris, who's put out bigger and blacker, and was the other one that was like, it's two great ones when he first came.

2:32:57And then fuck. It was the other one. Bring the pain. Bring the pain. Those two are some of the greatest comedy specials in the history of the world. In the history. And that guy, man, like, listen to him. Whatever the fuck he has, he used to come to the comic store and he had a very unique strategy He would come to the comic store with premises and like ideas that he had But he did not have them worked out and he would just eat shit like try to eat like try like let it be like let there be like some blank spots Let there be some dead air and force himself to come up with the funny and find the funny and then you see it revised the next night And he's here about that was what they said about prior.

2:33:36They said prior would show up at Tuesday with a bunch of ideas for bits and they were bombed. And then on Wednesday, they might bomb a little less. And then on Thursday, they would start kicking. And then Friday came along and he was in the made room murdering with some shit that he came up with on Tuesday. But that's because those guys aren't scared to stare down the bull. Right, right. Because a lot of guys get their first 20. And they're so scared of letting it go. Because it was so hard. So hard. And it's hard. People always say, oh, it's hard to be an open -micro. No, bro. It's hard to be Chris Rock.

2:34:16It's hard to be an open -micro too. No, it is, but what I mean is that, it's harder to be an open -micro because you don't know what the path is. Like, you don't even know how to get funny. But what I mean by that is that the open -micro, how many guys did, when you started coming, how many guys did you know who were so much funnier than you? Just because they played poker without chips on the table, they would show up on their terms, go on on their favorite room, do their favorite material, they would have a couple of drinks, but they would then disappear. And then when they get the weekend and it's Thursday, you've got to be funny at eight o 'clock.

2:34:50Friday, you've got to be funny at seven and ten. They would kind of fall apart because they're only playing poker by their rules when they're comfortable with their friends in their favorite rooms. But can you be a professional five times a week. Also, when you feel uncomfortable going to this new place, and then you know you have to do a long time, do you have the stamina to keep that party mind going on for 45, 50 minutes, a lot of free balling. A lot of free balling. Free balling's fine if you're doing 15 minutes. Absolutely. You don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's on your terms.

2:35:24It's a different thing. It's on your terms, you know? Yeah, well, I think if you're gonna prepare for a special, you have to do a lot of hours. I don't really think you could get away with, Unless you're a guy who does a lot of non -secorters, maybe you could piece together like three or four sets and then put them together for one night. Because if you know how they go, you could do that. Like if you're working in New York City, but there's no substitute for those long -ass sets, man. Yeah, absolutely. And there's different types of comedians that have a different process. Absolutely. There's no right way of doing it.

2:35:54But are you staring down the bull of your own fears? You know, whereas some guys maybe might not benefit from writing during the day I get that but are you maybe Overlooking some no, no, no, everybody benefits see yeah, that's what I think I don't believe that I don't believe that I believe even the greats even the greats who don't do it if they did it They'd be even better and I think that because of my own personal experience with with writing a lot Absolutely when I started I remember that was exactly the murderers around me who were a bit ahead of me. During the day they would all have these talks and they would all be like, what is the path and energy and what is the comedy?

2:36:33What is it? But the whole time I'm just writing basic, hacky anecdotes because I'm fucking two years in, of course, writing basic hacky anecdotes. But I remember from sports, I just look because they all came from either fucking bars or artistic I can't find the secret, I can't find the secret, I can't find the secret. Right, right, right. Where it's like, no, no, show up for practice. I don't go fuck if it's your off day. Listen, if your leg hurts, don't kick us hard. But just be there, be cognitively in the process. You're putting energy into the universe. And the way the universe has always worked is if you put energy out, something's coming back.

2:37:10There's a never known a comedian who has been working hard honestly for 10 years and hasn't made it. I've never known a guy. If they have it, if they have the spark, but there have been some people that somehow are gonna snuck through and some bizarre way that are still there. Yeah, but even that is a true testament of if you're just fucking right, but what, yeah, but we can talk about that later. That's not important to be negative. But yeah, you're right. It's like, if you, I always say to people that are funny at all, like if you do an open mic night and you make me laugh, I'm like, you have the hardest part down, you're funny.

2:37:43So true. Now just keep going. Now just keep working at it. And the more time you spend working on it in every realm, whether the more sets you do, the more recordings you listen to, the more writing you sit in front of your no pad, yeah, write, sit down, come up with ideas, mess around, like go over some of your old notes, you should have old notes. You should have like an orphan baby folder. So like they're orphan jokes of mine. You know the thing about writing, they always say kill your babies, you know, like for editing, like it's hard for writers, hard for anybody's creative person. They create something you don't wanna let it go.

2:38:15I like a whole folder of orphan babies and I'll go back to that folder every now and then I Want some help? I need to talk about that again. Yeah, maybe I find a new way and so you always have like some fertile land to till and that's only from writing if you don't write And then you're just stuck with what's in your mind right now and what's the mind right now? It's probably pretty good a lot of guys do very well with what's their mind right now So they do a lot of sets But you really better off if you also spend some more time working on the ideas in silence by yourself just sit there Sit there and you'll every now and then you come up with some of my best lines.

2:38:50I've come up with that way Exactly. It's not an over and then the most magic dude. I had that at a little boy on Tuesday We're doing bottom of the parallel where I pull out a subject and There's a like a shelf in my mind that was there I put that topic there seven eight years ago. Ah, and then you remember it. What are you there? And I never even thought about it because it was so stupid. It was like even it comes out of the bottom of the barrel. Like a little gift from the universe. No, no, go to the green room, I write it out. Go straight to Fat Man murder. Ah! Yeah, that's the beautiful thing about that place.

2:39:30It really is a true place where you can develop. I'm taking a couple weeks off and I'll be back. Yeah, hell yeah, I do. It's crazy. I need to just relax a little. You know the first time I saw you was in Australia. I know, yeah, we're talking about that. Comic Slounge Melbourne. Yeah. One of the dorkies, Tim was a good friend of mine. And he writes me during the day, hey, Tony Hinchcliffe. And this was when, because I told you, this was when Tony, this was like eight years ago, he was already good, but he wasn't the heel that he is now, the guy. Right. But he had that spark. Because when he opened for you in the theater, I remember he opened with Melvin Australia.

2:40:09Lots of white people. What is this heaven? I'm Melbourne is a super liberal, you know, the theater. The release. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There needs to be tension for there to be release. And I remember my friend Tim writes me and he goes, oh Joe Rogan and they're coming to and he was another guy. He was like an Australian guy show or something. You know, that's his headlining show. And he was big in Australia, but not like pack out the club, half -papered, older people, you know, it was like a regular crowd. Nothing superstar rockstar shit. And all the open -mikers, all me, everybody gets back into the room to watch you.

2:40:53Because you're our first famous guy that we've seen drop into that club. And in our head, you know how open -mikers, we're all haters, dude. We're all like, let's see this American guy, bomb, you know. Because we're all haters at that point, you know, open micers. Oh yeah, I was a hitter. Yeah, what do you think, dude? I'm getting two minutes at this club. What the fuck am I, you know? So we're all like, oh, how's this? And you come, they go from America. And this was, you had the Jurgen experience, he was I think on, you just went from a U stream to YouTube. It was big in the comedy community, but in Australia, pop culture, not that big, you know, you were the fear factor guy, I would say, most, just looking at the crowd, what they thought of you.

2:41:30And you get a polite, nothing like it would be today. You get a polite applause. And you go out there and it was your trickered set. You did, you did so clever to you, you did the opener of your hour and the closer, right? Because I saw you in the next day in the theater. Yeah. Dude, you were murdering so hard when you had a Kim Kardashian bet when you're climbing on a stool. You're kicking off the heels. Yeah. Sweat was dripping because it was summer on a stool. Sweat was dripping down. I remember and all of us like comics in the back are like these this is not a crowd that for who Kim Kardashian is a prevalent pop figure but your bit was so So good that it transcends the reference, you know, it's like me as a young kid watching Dave Chappelle doing crack, baby I'm an Estonian white kid in a suburb.

2:42:19What do I know about the corner right and the projects? I'm never seen a black person But he's literally never. But he's talent transcends the reference. And I remember you were murdering so hard, and that's when I was like, holy fuck. Like, because we all thought you're just like a famous guy who just does stand up on the side. And we were like, not this guy's a murderer. And I remember that poor headline, I mean, Rest in Peace. And you were like slamming. Well, thanks brother. Yeah, that was right. We were not about to film triggered. So that she was tight. That she was tight. And then I remember somebody comes back to me.

2:43:03They know I smoke weed. They go, Mr. Rogan needs weed. Don't, don't, don't, don't. And in my head I'm like, didn't we hang out on this little like a balcony area, little fire. So I'm gonna tell you about this balcony. Hey, we gotta go man. I'm sorry, I gotta wrap this up. Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up with this. Okay. So you're on the balcony and I get the weed and I tell my friend Tim, you see, I'm cool. I'm not going to talk and everybody's trying to talk to you there. I'm just going to give you a fist bump and the weed. I go, I have the weed. Tim grabs the weed, turns around and just walks away.

2:43:38And in my head I'm like, I wish I could have just given you a fist bump. You know, but now, nine years later, Fossil Tim, you know, Fossil Tim, you hate her. You take his weed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was fun. That was it's cool. It's always cool to go to a different country And see yeah see you and do it and then you're murdered in the theater 7 a .m. I see you at the UFC Holy Holm Ronda Rousey amazing KO dude. I go back to bed I wake up. You're already in LA talking to a scientist engaged. I'm like this guy fucking That was like a crazy weekend, you know, yeah, it's a wildlife life. Anyway, again, thank you my brother.

2:44:18Thank you for being at the club. Thanks for being an awesome guy. It's great having you around. It's great to see so much. Lourish and if people get a chance to see you live, don't miss it. Ari is a real killer. Thank you. 12 years in and it's beautiful to see you there, man. And thank you very much for being there Friday and Saturday night. You fucking heard that. Man, a lot to me. It really did. Thank you, man. All you guys, Ron and Tony too. Like that meant so much to me because it was like, I was at home. It was like, we're home. No matter where you go. The club's amazing. Thank you so much everybody your Instagrams they could find our ematic comedy Ari Maitti comedy on Instagram easiest way you have website Building one building one I have an old one already might it .com But if you go to the Instagram all my dates are there all right beautiful.

2:45:00Thank you so much my pleasure. Bye everybody. Bye