#2187 - Adam Sandler

24:47I'd be like, my God, how fucking, the crowd's so bored with me now. I can't come up with new moves, you know. But now, got enough shit, keeping rocking. So how long have you been steady doing stand -up again now? I think like seven years. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Must feel good though, right? It's nice. You get back into like a real flow, a real headliner, a slow again. 100%. Yeah, yeah, I missed this. I did miss it. I didn't even know I missed it. It's the most fun. Absolutely. You, you, you fucking with loose, that was, you set yourself up to, to do a live fucking special. I don't think I could handle that, man.

25:21My head'd be spinning way too much, man. But you had to over prepare. Yeah, yeah, but you didn't have, you didn't have any pauses. You just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. How long were you doing that set? Well, I did, but, you know, because I have my own club that helps a lot, right? So I was doing two shows a night, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. So I was doing six hours of stand -up, the week, which is a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was doing podcasts and all the other UFC stuff that I do. So a lot of work. Right. That got to be too much. So then I knocked it down to three sets a week, three headliner sets a week, and then I would do a bunch of short sets.

26:00You know what, that's, bottom of the barrel show that I told you that your friend Brian Simpson hosts, that shows the best. It's, it's like a premise factory. Because you have this whiskey barrel on stage, it's filled with notes from the crowd. It's all just different, ridiculous ideas for premises. And you reach your hand in, you pull one out, and it says, you know, frogs are gay. Right. Like whatever. And you just start ranting about it. And you try to come up with bits. You know, every now and then, one, you know, you get one or two, every set that you write it down, and you're like, this could be something.

26:32That's amazing. And a couple of them made it onto the special. That's incredible. Because it's like, it's a premise factory. Absolutely. So I had, I had a lot of, I was getting ready to do a special in, I was going to do one in August of 2020. But then, you know, obviously in March, everything shut down. And I didn't do stand up for eight months. And it was just, and then I thought about it, I was like, you know what, I just feel like just working on my material now. I just feel like just working on stand up. Not even thinking about the special. Yeah, yeah, that's a great feeling. Well, it's just like just wanted, I was just enjoying working at the club, owning the club.

27:06And then there's so many good guys at the club. It was just such a fucking hot spot. Right. There's so many people, they're Shane Killis and Mark Norman and Ari Shafir and fucking Brian Simpson and Tony Hinchcliffe. It's just like every night, which is murderous road. Right, yeah. And we were all just cooking together. That's big. And then when Netflix said they want to do a live special with me at first, I was like, fuck that. I don't want to do that. And I said, no, I told my manager. I was like, no, I called her on the phone. I was like, what? I don't want to do that. And then I was driving home.

27:35Like, why are you scared to do that? You fucking pussy. And I was like, as I was driving home, I was like, think it. And then when I got home, I called her back, I don't say no yet. Like, let me take it back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've had that with P .O. Mix. Yeah. And then the next day I said, all right, I'm going to do it. And she's like, you sure? I go, yeah, yeah. I'm going to do it because I'm scared of it. That's a ballsy, man. I was fucking terrified of it. Of course. I'm scared thinking about doing it.

28:00I was like, you're going to lose. You were rolling. You crushed. But I didn't. That set in order for three weeks straight. Right. So I had it locked in for three weeks. I didn't do any, no, which I always fuck around. Yeah. But there was no fucking around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's right. That's right. You were steady. Exactly. I also wrote all the bits out by hand. I wrote them all out. Even the ones already knew. I wrote them all out. I wrote all the transitions out. I listened to records. I watched videos. That's big. Yeah. I beat myself into the ground. I overprepared. Right, right, right.

28:30So when I got up there, there was no, what is next? What is next? There was no thought about. You didn't have a beat sheet somewhere just in case you got lost. No, no, no, no. That's fucking balls. I would never be able to do that. But I wanted to treat it like a regular show. If I had a regular show, I wouldn't have a cheat sheet. Well, I fucking, I never did when I was young. But now I need fucking a word. I need to look somewhere. I'd see the word. What do you like put like index cards on the stage? No, no, no. On a monitor. I just thought that. Okay. You know, it says like, you know, just just one word.

29:00Popcorn and then ready. Because my head goes to space, I get spacey as I got older when I was young. I was prepared and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I did my shit. And I think it helps me kind of relax a little bit. Just know when that if I'm looking down and see a word and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, do that next. Bill Maher brings like one of them conductors fucking things on stage. Uh huh. Well, you know, like they have like the news, the music rather. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has that and he just has his ideas written out on that. It's good. You can just look down at it. I get addicted to that a little too much.

29:34Sometimes I cut in a Largo in LA. I go up there. The flanney runs that place and he lets me go on and and try shit out. And I have a music stand and I fucking, I'll be at work all day working on movies. And then like 10 minutes left to go. I go, oh, yeah, yeah, let me fucking and I got a couple guys in the office who helped write jokes with me. And I go, let me try this, this isn't this. And I just put the sheet down and go on stage. Try shit out. Try new shit out. Nothing better than a new joke. Yeah, it's very exciting. That's the best if it's working. Usually does work too. Well, you enthusiastic about it.

30:12Yeah. And if you really have thought about it and prepared for it, it's like a new thing for you. So it's like this is exciting new toy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can't wait to get to that or open with it or whatever. When you do movies, do you just come up with a premise first? Like when you decide to do a film, like if you decide to happy Gilmore, how do you, how do you like make your movies? How do you start? This episode is brought to you by Life Lock. Tax season is already stressful. You shouldn't have to worry about identity theft on top of everything else. And trust me, it's a big worry.

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33:09Distilled, aged and bottled by Buffalo Trace Distillery, 90 proof Franklin County, Kentucky, Buffalo Trace, American, family -owned, independent and perfectly untamed. That's, I mean that was just lucky premise, Billy Madison, I remember I thought, oh this could be a great guy who a grown -up who does elementary school again. That's a great idea of being, I get to be goofy, get to bully these little kids, then all of a sudden connect with these kids and have fun growing up again. My part of my head was, well Rodney did back to school already, so everyone's going to say I just ripped off back to school, Rodney went back to college, how the fuck do we kind of do it step away from that.

33:59And I called my buddy, Hurley, who I went to college with and he writes all the movies with me, or he's just a great funny man and I've written almost everything with him. And if he goes, oh that's good, then we usually go from there and we try to fill it out after that. Same thing with Happy Gilmore, Wedding Singer, Bobby Boucher, all that shit we were just like came up with a couple of lines of what we thought as an interesting idea and then see if we can fill it out. It's so funny because your films get loved by the public and hated by critics. It's so hilarious. You are the leap, whatever the rotten tomatoes critic score is for your films means zero, it means nothing.

34:48Right. It's only the audience is what counts. That's the all we thought about. Yeah. Because your films are all so fun and so silly and so in my opinion, so underappreciated. Thank you, man. Because this is one of the things I thought about during COVID. We watched it every night. We watched every film that you made while everything was locked out. Amazing. I love that. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, am I fucking, I don't know, man, we locked out. We worked our asses off. Like you're working your ass off now. Like this is, this is, it took it very serious. But you caught like a silly groove. Yeah.

35:26But I don't think anybody else has that silly groove like you do. I did. But you caught that groove with so many movies, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, when I first started Jim Carrey was crushing Stiller, Mike Myers. A lot of goofy movies were getting made and I certainly fucking loved doing them. And I love being on set making those kind of movies. I love fucking editing that shit. Making, I think about kids laughing. I always love that. Thinking to college kids throwing, you know, throwing a tape in sitting down watching together. We, that was on our mind when we did it. When you first started out, did you want to be a comic?

36:08Did you want to be a stand up comic? Or did you always think that you wanted to do films? I think I wanted to get into the movies. I was fucking nuts. That's cocky as shit in my own weird way. I think a big thing that happened to me was I told my friends in high school I was going to be fucking big. And I didn't. So you had to? I had to do it. I told the boys I was like, I'm going to be fucking great. And then when I would check in with them, I remember being on payphones, calling after even eating it as a catarizing star, I'd call them fucking good tonight. Probably, yeah, I go, yeah, I said, what'd you say?

36:44I said this joke, fucking killed. Meanwhile, I fucking ate it every time. So you're faking it until you ate it? I said, but I dug a hole for myself. I'm doing great. Robin Williams said I was fantastic. Robin Williams, I remember one night saw me eat it. And I was just like, oh man, I ate it in front of Robin Williams. But I changed the story of like, I like that shit. There's something that could be very valuable about being delusional and being young. Yes. Very delusional. So stupid, man. I did this thing once. Do you know Owen Smith? Who the hell is that? Hilarious, hilarious comedian L .A.

37:21He had this, he's one of the best comics alive, but he spends a lot of time writing and doing shows. Sure I know. Unfortunately, which I think he should be headlining arenas. He was just at my club a few months back. Oh yeah. He's a monster. The point is Owen had this show that he was doing for a while where you'd find your oldest notebooks. And sit down with him and go over your oldest jokes. And it was so bad. It was like a 1991 joke book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I keep them all. And I was going through, we were reading it. I was like, it's so bad. I had it like built in Heckler lines that I wrote that were terrible.

38:02And this guy was saying this to me. And that's like, oh, that's so funny. If I had to go back there and like give myself advice, I would say you got to quit. You're terrible. Oh my god. Don't do this. What do you do? Yeah, don't do this. You sound a troche. You're not going to make it. It's the same thing. There's no way. But I fucking thought I was fucking phenomenal. But I would look at it at the crowd not laughing going, these fucking, are these guys fucking nuts? They don't see how great this shit is. But when I, it's almost like I was with my fucking giant afro and my father would be at the table.

38:34He'd be like, you need a haircut. I'd be like, what are you talking about, man? He'd be like, you think you look good? Yeah, I look great. He'd be like, you don't, just so you know, you don't look right. I'd be like, you're, what are you, are so off on that then. It's funny, delusional thinking can sometimes carry you to the, like once you develop some skill that delusional is like a little guardian. Yeah, I see. It's like he's protected while you actually develop talent. And that goes away because I'm more nervous now. Well, I had that fucking fear as a comedian. My head would spin when, when Colin Quinn, he had a club, the paper moon in the, in the city, was the paper moon around when you, when you were growing up, it was like a, the Boston comedy club, like a small place like that.

39:21I think that, that paper moon became the Boston club. Oh, the same club. Yes, I think it was downstairs. That one shit. So fucking Colin, like me, he used to get me on stage. I was going to college around there. And I, all day long, would be practicing on the elevator in my dorm. I'd be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, saying the shit right when Colin would bring me up. My fucking head would spin. I'd forget where I was, not making sense. I would say two jokes. And then I'd be like, oh my god, I don't, I don't know what's coming next. And I had that going for a while. But I still would go home at night and go fucking, I'm going to be so fucking good at this.

39:57I don't know what it was. It was psycho, psycho. It's youthful delusion. Yeah. And it's also your central lobe is not fully formed yet. You don't even understand the world. You're just a little meat puppet. Oh my god, yeah. But that's how you make it. That's how you make it in kind of everything. Like you're delusional. You know, yes, yes. If you really believe in yourself, that counts for a lot. Up to a point, because there's people that still believe in themselves, they've been doing open mics for 20 years. Right. Nobody's stepped in to say, hey, this is never. Right, right, right. Get in the hat.

40:30Right, yeah. You have to have a spark. There's got to be a little something in there. And then you could build that little something into something special. That's right. That's right. Same thing in sports, guys, who keep going and keep trying out and keep doing something that some people break through. It's, yeah, it's interesting, man. I definitely had an amazing time as a youngster. I had a couple of people that I locked in with. We were buddies. We all had that same thing of like, I'm good. I'm good. Even though it wasn't that good yet. Yeah. Yeah, I came up with Greg Fitzimmons. Greg and I were both like confused and wondering if we're ever going to make it.

41:12And just, you know, we do a lot of road gigs together. Yeah. And we were hoping. But the whole idea was only just to like one day you'd be a professional. That was the goal. Not really have any kind of a career career, but just like one day to make a living telling jokes. That was the dream. Yeah. You couldn't even imagine like almost I would see guys that were actual pros when I had a bunch of like day jobs doing construction. Oh, you did. And limos. Oh, yeah, everything. And so then I would do these nighttime gigs and I'd meet the real pros. The guys who just made a living doing comedy. I'm like, what must that be like?

41:48They asked they saw it during it. Oh, my God. Yeah, they've been playing golf all day. Yeah, and the Kevin Nox's and all those guys. Yeah, yeah. And I would just like they were like heroes. Of course, you actually made it. If you're outside of the system completely, all you do is tell jokes and people love you and they come to see you. And the same jokes. A lot of the guys, they were just like, that's my act. I ain't fucking right. Oh, in Boston, yeah, they never did television. So those guys, right, right. And people wanted to go see those same jokes. And that's crazy. Yes. Like Steve Sweeney.

42:22James Sweeney when he was in a car. Absolute best, the biggest destruction too. Yeah. Oh, my God. Steve Sweeney in his prime would light up a room. Yeah. And with Boston accent and Boston material, you could follow. No, no, no. He was a monster. I think he went on the very first night. I went on at stitches. You do? Sure. That was the first place my brother brought me to stitches. He was going to be you. He got me one of those five minute open mics. That was the first place I ever did too. Stitches? Yeah. Yeah. How'd you do? Hey. Yeah. I got a couple of chuckles. You did it. It was like enough to where I was like me.

43:00I will leave you. 21. 21. Yeah. I was like, maybe. Maybe something. And the second time I got some laughs. That's the second time I was like less nervous. Wow. And like I listened to my required a little tape recorder that I brought with me. I recorded it. Oh, man. Yeah. So that's that humiliation of the silence on the record. It was terrible. But it also made me realize like what was wrong. Like, you know, just because I was studying it, like kind of the way I was studying martial arts. Like if you would watch films of fights. And then I would, you know, go, oh, there was a little bit of a timing problem there.

43:34And this, I could have done this. I could have done that. And so with my second time I did stand up, I had the humiliation of listening to the first cassette. So I listened to that. I was like, let me tighten this up. And maybe this could be a little better. Oh my God. Tightening right a little more there. But I got some laughs a second time, which was like crazy. I was like, wow, I might be able to do this. Shit, man. Both that stitches. Yeah. And then I think I bombed the third time. And that was the first real bomb. And also, yeah. Oh, fucking shit. Fucking shit. Yes. But every time I bombed, I feel like it taught me something.

44:10And then I would get better. Fucking, I ate it last year. Last summer, I went up to the comic strip. And fucking ate it for 10 straight minutes. I was like, oh shit, I forgot about that. I forgot about that punch in the face. That is a roughie. I ran into it the airport. And you tell me you just did some fucking horrific corporate event. I ate it there too. Oh, that was, I mean, if I listen to the tape, I'd say, you were okay, but, oh, it's humiliating. Yeah. You had just gotten done with it. What I ran into. I'm so shell shy, I remember seeing you in your wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had that fucking glaze.

44:49Look, those corporate gigs are so Ron White just ate it at one recently. He goes out of the water, fuck, I agree to do that. I know, man. I never did it. I said no, and they said more, and I said no. And then they came up with the number. I was like, all right. Holy shit, buddy. Same fucking story for me. Those are deaf. I don't think I, those things are deaf because the people that are there, they're working with all these people. So they're all like kind of tight. Yeah, they got shit going on. Yeah. And they're not really thinking about the comedy show. They're thinking about this is like a social environment with all the people.

45:23They're working their way up the corporate ladder. Yeah. They're constantly not all there. And they're also, they can't laugh at anything inappropriate. That's true. I saw a mic over there laughing at all those sexist jokes. Mike's a real piece of shit. Yeah, that's true, man. That's good. I swear to God, I felt bad for them. I said, Jesus, they paid me so much. I fucking feel terrified and killed for them. But it happened. Yeah, Hinchcliffe just did one recently too. He said the same thing. I'm like, that's why I don't do those. They, it's not do comedy where people come to see comedy. And that's it.

45:56Don't get hired for a birthday party. Get the fuck out of here with that. It was the only fucking reason I did it. Was Paul McCartney did it the year before. So they go, well, they don't do this much. I went, Paul McCartney, well, fuck, I'm doing that shit. Yeah, but Paul McCartney can just play his songs. I know, man. You know, and like his songs are great. They're plastic. He's not going to miss. He's not going to miss. He's just going to play the, and if they don't respond, that's on them. Yeah, it's like, you know, you fucking nuts. You just did a band on the run. The fuck is wrong with you, dude.

46:26I know, man, that's good. Yeah, you know, like musicians, they can always just get into their songs. Oh, fuck it. They don't need your surprise. They don't need nothing. They don't need you. They don't need you. We're fucking looking at everybody. That fucking dude's not loving it. God damn it. He relies so much on other people's response. But the moments I don't, those are the ones I was saying to you, Joe, and I've eaten it before, but still felt I did good because I fucking remained kind of confident and believe in him, I shit still. But the ones where I look out, I see them hating me and I go, yeah, why am I here, man?

47:05This is, that's a bad feeling. It's a terrible feeling. I say bombing on stage like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother. Yeah. The problem is it's probably worse than that because somewhere out there, there's probably a guy who wouldn't mind sucking a thousand dicks in front of his mom. You know, he'd be like, look at me, mom. You made me. You made me. I'm like 99. Let's go. My mother would 100 % at the end say you could have done it better. Yeah. You could have sucked them hard. Why did you stop on that one man? He wanted to explode in your face and you, you stopped. I feel bad. You should call him and tell him you suck his dick.

47:45But I, yeah, I'm with you buddy. Yeah, stand up. Stand up the best. It's a crazy thing and no one can teach you how to do it either. You have to figure it out yourself because your way of doing it is different than my way of doing it. My way is different than Kevin's way. Yeah. Kevin's way is different than fucking sign felled's way. Everybody's got a different way of doing it. Absolutely. And nobody can teach you how to do it. You can learn some things. Yes. From watching other people, you can learn some things. Oh man, yeah. But have it when somebody fucking great watches you and says, hey, you know what you could say here and gives you a great line.

48:17You're like, oh my god. Yeah. No, that's huge. That's what I feel and you just made my okay thing into a fucking one I'm excited to do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's been a couple of bits that I've had that I got a tag from a friend and it's just like pops it up. Oh, you're like, how did I ever do it without that fucking? Yeah. Sometimes like a fresh eye, you know, that's one of the things that I always admired about how Chris Rock used to do it. Yeah. Because Chris Rock would go on stage. Yeah. He'd work his stuff out and then you have a bunch of guys that you would hire to sit in the back of the room and kind of workshop with them.

48:48I got I do I do similar stuff very smart. These young guys who are fucking way funnier at writing than me and I cut all the cuz I'm fucking tired. I'm tired. I walk into the office and I'm like, I thought it was funny thing last night. Maybe something there. I'll say it to him and I'll go, oh yeah, and I'm fucking write something interesting and we come up with something together eventually. Well you used to collaborate when you do films, right? Yes, yes, I always do that. Always got a bunch of guys that that helped me out throughout the whole movie. That's such a good process. Yes. Because, you know, one mind is great but a bunch of minds together in different perspectives.

49:28People are going to see things from an angle that you're not going to see. Yes, that's exciting. Same shit. Same shit. Somebody comes up with a great thing to do in a scene or a line or maybe you can be doing this at the same time and actually whatever the fuck it is. I mean, me and the Hurley, when we write these things, we think a lot what it's going to look like, what's going on in these scenes and what the jokes are, that kind of shit. But on the day, you definitely have a couple of buddies around making it better to the way to go. Well, you always have a very tight ship too. Like doing a zookeeper with you and talking with Kevin, like you work with the same people pretty much every film.

50:10Which is really huge. Yeah, that's good. Because you have a very family environment. Always did. Everybody's fun. Everybody likes working together. No one's an asshole. It's an easy, it's an easy gig in that sense that like you know you're going to come to work with people. Yeah, yeah, everybody's having fun. Kevin's Kevin got that going. You got that going? Yeah, you have to have that. That's gigantic. You got like a lot of great stand up friends, right? Yeah. When you do the road, you just bring your guys with you. When you guys, like how many of you go up on stage when you take gigs on the road?

50:46If I do a gig, I bring usually one guy who's a beginner and then two guys who are headliners. How much time does everybody do? It depends. Like when I did the live special, I brought this kid Ari Maddie who's hilarious. Yeah. Ari did 10 minutes. We did 15 minutes the first night, but on the live 90 did 10 minutes. So 10 minutes to warm the crowd up and then he brings on Ron White. Ron White murdered for 15 and then he brings on Tony. Tony murders for 15. Wow. And then I go on up to that. So you're fucking tough to do that to yourself. Put on big heavy hitters because that can get you in a hole sometimes.

51:24Yeah, but if you long as you're having fun, it doesn't. No, audiences have it a good time. Yes. My philosophy is I don't want bad comedians going in front of me. I want people to kill. Yes. So that when I go on stage, everyone's having a great time. They don't ever feel like, oh, they made that one guy for 20 minutes. Oh, my God. When was he going to get off stage? No, I know. Because there's some comedians that like to do that. They like to bring in terrible acts. So they look like a hero. No, that's bad. That's bad. That's bad for the audience. It's bad for your own brain. You just fucking just, you're getting lazy doing it.

51:54You're getting lazy. It's a soft way to approach it. So like when I do shows at the club, sometimes I'm going on stage an hour and a half into the show. And it's like Brian Simpson, Shane Gillis, Mark Norman. It's like killer after killer. Or going up. And then I'm going up late. So you got it. It's like running with weights on. Like you got to come out of the gate. Hot. You know, I do it. When I first came back to stand up, I was bringing all my buddies with me. And they were killing soul. It was good crowds. So everybody would stay up. You know, everyone's like, I know I was going to do 15. Let me do 25.

52:33And so by the time I got up there, I was following like six or seven guys murdering. And it was fucking two hours in. And then I was supposed to do an hour and a half of that. I'd be like, shit, I gotta figure this out, man. I'm not, I mean, I'll get my money. That's too much. You wear the audience out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like when a show gets over two hours, two and a half hours, it's like, I don't want to see it three hour movie. No, no, no. If I'm going to watch the three hour movie, I'm going to be at home. Okay, where I can pause. Yeah. If I take a leak, go have some popcorn. Yeah. Like for three hours sitting in some auditorium somewhere watching a show, it's got to be a banger of a show.

53:15Oh, man. So engaged. We walk out of you like, wow. Have it that feeling when you know, holy shit, this arena, I'm losing them for about five minutes. Let me fucking get them back. Have it that glit when you see people who started the show off with like, yeah, and then they're kind of like tuned out going, what is happening right now? People even have a certain amount of attention span. Yeah, yeah. You know, that's why I admire bands that still, like I saw guns and roses in Greece. Yeah. And they do three hours. New shit? Or just? No, all the classics, all the classics, you know, welcome to the jungle sweet child of mind.

53:53But they fucking go hard for three hours. Those guys are a hundred years old. They're still killing it. And they're singing three hours. Yeah. So it's ripping it for three hours. Yeah. Same with the stones. I saw the stones a couple of years ago at Coda, the circuit of the Americas here in town. And it was insane. Yeah. Mick Jaggers a thousand years old. Yeah. And he's still fucking movin' him. Yeah. But so damn bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's still fucking dancing. And fuck with him, yeah. All that energy. Yes. It's funny. They do like stones do two a week or something. Yeah. That's a really funny shit.

54:27Because when we go on the road, it's like five or six. That's the way to do it though when you're 80. Yeah. You need recovery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also Mick Jagger works out every single day. He has two trailers filled with Jim Equip. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two of the trailers when they travel with the stones is just Mick Jagger's Jim Equipment. What a fucking stud light little body. That guy looks like he weighs 120. He's like 120. He's ripped. Still 80 years old. He's got a six pack. He's got the vision he arms ready. Yeah. Fucking ready to go. And still has his pipes. Still can sing. Yeah.

55:00And Keith Richard could still play. That's cool. It was incredible. Watching them live was like, I couldn't even believe they were there. Yeah. It was one of those things where like, I was almost like I felt like I was on drugs. I was like, am I really seeing the rolling stones? Yeah. I was actually there. Like I could throw a rock and I could hit Mick Jagger with a rock. He was right there. And then how exciting when Keith and Ron look at each other and laugh at him. They laughed together. Fuck that was incredible. They're still enjoying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And when we were kids, there were no old rock stars.

55:30Right. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Right. Yeah, yeah. They didn't. Elvis was already dead. Right, yeah, yeah. You know, he died in the 70s, right? Yeah. So he was already dead. Wow, man. And so when we were kids, we thought of rock stars as like Van Halen, young, wild people on stage jumping around. That's a young man's game. No one ever anticipated 80 year old rock star singing rock and roll in their 80s. No doubt. No doubt. By the way, I heard David Lee on your show. Yeah, he's been on a couple of dubs. Man, I mean, that band to me when I was in high school, I think I was in ninth grade the first time I fucking heard him.

56:06I was into Sabbath. My brother got me into Sabbath and then I heard I was walking up to a fucking party. It was like one of my first house keg parties and Van Halen was blaring over somebody's pioneer system and it was fucking like ain't talking about love. It's like shit. I remember this going, well, this is the greatest shit I've ever had. Oh, yeah, they were the kings in the 80s, dude. They were the kings when I was in high school. Yes. Everybody knew how to make that Van Halen logo and notebook. Yeah, yeah, the notebook. It was either VH Queen, ACDC, KISS. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were the kings.

56:43They were the kings. Yeah. But, you know, we never thought like we never thought they'd be still doing it. No, that's right. And then you see Van Halen the last few years live and you fucking be still as excited. Yeah. You still look smooth as shit. I saw what David Lee Roth maybe four or five years ago. He's such a character, man. Yeah, he doesn't have a phone. He doesn't even keep money on him. I went to dinner with him and he has a lady that drops him off with me. She's like his handler and she says, I have her number. She has my number. She's like, call me if anything goes wrong. All right.

57:21And just you're hanging out with David Lee Roth, having dinner with him. I love him talking about fighting with you because you loved him throwing those crazy roundhouse kicks. Oh, yeah. He was a real martial artist. Yeah. He used to train with Benny or Kitas. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. He used to do those things on stage. We'd do like a jumping split kick in the middle of the air. I'm believing in him. Yeah. He's a real athlete, man. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. He's a stud fucking sweet dick on him right there. But David, look at that guy. Look at the picture he's got his pants hanging down. Yeah, just enough.

57:57Show a little hip forward. Showing some dick room. He's a character, man. Still to this day. He's out to lunch, man. He'll say he's saying some interesting shit. He's smart and knows his nose is shit. Whatever he's into, he's deep into it. That guy moved to Japan to train Kendo, which is a sword fighting art. Right, right, right. Just him and his dog lived in an apartment in Japan for like years. Man. Just training Kendo. I fucking anytime you heard that they weren't getting along, you were just like, they what? Yeah. Fucking, you know, that goes though. Yeah, yeah. Anytime you would four fucking people do much shit, it's going to go wrong.

58:37Yeah, especially those egos and the bands and then girlfriends don't like that guy. Right, right. Yeah, that shit happens. Yeah, like Valerie Burton, Ellie apparently didn't get along with David Lee Roth. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's going to be pain. That's not good. That's not good. It's hard for bands to stay together. You know, I think that's way harder. I remember you too would always meet interviews, talk about how cool it is that they're still a rock band together. Yeah. Or of them love each other. If you can get a band that enjoys each other's company, that's a fucking tremendous, tremendous asset because so many bands like I was just reading today that Pete Townsend doesn't talk to the rest of the guys and the who.

59:22He doesn't talk to Roger Daltry. They don't talk to each other. Wow. Like how? That's funny, man. I just saw them. I just saw the who would benefit and they fucking destroyed it. It was Daltry's benefit and he brought the who on there and I think it drummer was maybe Ringo's kid or it's either Ringo's kid or John Bonham's kid or anyways, it was great. But Pete and Roger were funny as shit racking on each other and saying it quickly little insults and it was like massive blasts like a comedian but then they'd fucking have those hits that just take your whole body over and it was great. Yeah, I don't know where they stand now or why they stand that we both just reading an article this morning.

1:00:06Yeah. Oh yeah, but they don't talk to each other. It makes sense. They just guy, like I remember here in Sabbath on tour would fucking all show up in different planes. I don't know if any of it's true but you're like fucking Tony Yolene and Ozzy don't fucking hang out with the whole time. Like, well, there's always a problem in the band where the lead singer becomes the number one guy and everybody else is kind of secondary. Yeah, that's going to make you pissed. The band's called Van Halen but the main guy's David Lee Roth. Right, right, right. That's the guy everybody want ain't talking about now.

1:00:37Man, you know, bad ass. Yeah, oh my god, hot for teacher. He was the man. And so like I could see how Egos and feathers would get ruffles and then the girlfriend on the side of like, you know, the band's name Van Halen. It's not Van Halen. He's going to be Roth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. That's going to hurt. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. And you got to stand behind it. He's got all the groupies. Yeah, well, but they had some him and Eddie both had the different people who were talking about who's the greatest. You'd be like, David Lee Roth was just the smoothest and funniest and fucking.

1:01:13Well, the greatest frontman of all time. For sure. He was like a standup. Just dominated the crowd. Just like, I think there was some tape going around with, remember, remember some shit. Just like, that's okay, man, because after the show, I'm going to fuck your girlfriend. I don't know. Maybe that was David Lee Roth or somebody else, but as a kid, you were like, oh my god, fucking what? That was the coolest shit ever. But then I remember Eddie Van Halen when the, when jump came out the video and seeing him smile and throw down that fucking lead. And he was just like, is that the coolest fuck on the planet with like overall?

1:01:46Oh, yeah. No shirt over. I went with the fucking no shirt overalls move one time. Really? Didn't go off stage. Didn't get the respect. Now, that's a standup, but what? I was going to get more respect, but I was on stage at a battle of the bands. I used to sing and play guitar in a band. And I went, my, I think my mom tied, died my overalls and shit. And I was like, I'm going to do it. I'm going. And I showed up and people making too much eye contact with me and not wanting to look down at the fucking overalls. It's a bold choice. It was, it was what I couldn't make now. One of the funniest choices is what, what, if you look back at like the, the metal days, like you look, you look back at like all the guys who dressed up like gay bikers.

1:02:37Right, right, right. It's from Judas Priest. It's from Judas Priest. Bored, tricked everybody into dressing like a gay biker. Yeah, yeah, because he was gay. I loved it. Yes. So he's like leather pants and the fucking leather biker helmet on, and the vest would no shirt on underneath. And all these guys started dressing like that. Yes, yes, yes. And they didn't even understand that they had been tricked into dressing like a gay biker. Yeah, yeah. I loved it. That's so great woman. I saw that. I saw them at fucking Radio City with Iron Maiden. Really? That was a biggie. Wow. I was up in the balcony screaming screaming.

1:03:09I want to dress like you Come on dude fucking the hellian My own oh They were nasty they were nasty that's the top Look at the hand comment look at them there with this fucking crazy outfits Yeah, it's just so funny all the different styles of bands that existed. Oh man. I had fucking pleather pants I wore fake leather pants for a bit. I didn't know my body wasn't great So I was like you throw that shit on you look like a rock star Then I fucking see the pictures that my mom took of me after I look back I mean like how the fuck did you let me out wearing that shit? I'd never fit just right. I never had the body for like I would walk into a clothing store growing up There was a play you know Sarah Silverman The comedian sure yeah, no sir.

1:04:04She's she grew up in in same town as me and her parents had a Store called junior Deb I believe and it was downtown. They sold Levi jeans and all that shit and I remember Just going okay. I'm gonna get some cool ass Levi's going to school look like a badass and I remember When I would see when I saw a three -way mirror I was like these aren't fitting me like that I thought yeah, they don't look I don't look as cool in my way, but since I thought I was You had an idea of your image. I want I wanted I saw other people wearing that shit going all right I'm gonna dress like that guy, but it didn't Reflect the same when I had it on again youthful delusion delusion.

1:04:44Yeah, yeah, did you want to be in a band before you wanted to be a comic? One of that for sure. What kind of music did you guys sing? We did air a lot of aerospace myth a lot of Van Halen a lot of Sabbath Zeppelin Arosmith just canceled their time I know I guess Stephen Tyler, you know, you had that neck injury where you fell and Broke one of the bones in his neck. Yeah, yeah, and apparently he just can't sing open his mouth this Well they were planning on doing a thing with the black crows and oh wow Yeah, and they just for whatever reason you know decided to put the tour out and get get going and then he started and he was like You can't do it anymore that it is painful.

1:05:27Yeah, because the guys whole life was that and by the way Fucking did you like arosmith growing up? Love them. They were the the bad boys that every tune was nasty. Oh, yeah, it was a nasty Push that microphone up to you basically. Sorry bro. No, and and yeah, they I loved My band played literally like ten arosmith tunes. We'd always fucking play kind of cool ones not not the massive hits, but the Whatever the mama kids and they're walking the dog and kind of cool shit like we both grew up in New England and they were the kings They were the kings. They were the kings. Yes. Yes. That was they were the fucking way.

1:06:07Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck yeah, Joe pair Yeah, BCN. Yeah, BCNAF What was that kind of alternative? He was the fucking man could hit every fucking now. How about the fact that I read something that yeah He's a cool bastard and I met him and they're all great guys Joe Perry. He's a great guy. It's fucking best That's a New England accent too on Joe Perry. Oh, yeah, it's funny to hear the boys talk I think somebody lived in New Hampshire. Maybe Steven Tyler lived in New Hampshire because I that's that's where I grew up and they They definitely They owned New Hampshire. Well, they were the kings of Boston like they were fucking gigantic I remember the controversy when they did that do it They did that song with run DMC when they walked this way.

1:06:52What the fuck? I know everybody's like what's going on? That you mean no shit. I know. Wow, that's a fucking great song. That was what fucking Aros Smith came back Yeah, they became the kings again exactly that was their big comeback song Yeah, they're kind of faded for a while. Yeah, then walk this way came along and I was great young people started getting into Them again absolutely. Yeah, it's funny how bands like they get you know like generational right even though they're great Like that's the people that listen in the 70s fuck those people. Yeah, you know now we listen to this Yeah, yeah, and it all takes is one thing and then people start going through the catalog My Jesus.

1:07:30Oh, that's incredible. Same. I was doing a fuck who the fuck was I listen? I play a lot of the old trip from my kids and then all of a sudden you just go wow they had so many Bangers bangers. Yeah, yeah, especially the young drug taking days. Yeah, yeah, the wild the wild Air first is the first three albums kind of shit like Zeppelin to yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah Yeah, that means a different world. Yeah, every comic wants to be a rock star And I think most rock stars want to be comics. Yeah, this this I'm at that Something about the freedom of comedy that they appreciate. Yes, you don't have a band You don't need anybody all you need is a microphone.

1:08:11I don't have sound guys. You don't have anybody can you believe that? Yeah, that's my biggest mistake is I fucking use music in my act. So I gotta My piano player Dan Bula. He's the best. I love having him being together on the road looking back and we laughed together That's the greatest part, but the the Back in the day when I just had a mic and didn't have to show up with shit And you that really is makes it like oh it's amazing. Yeah, you know when I would do these big places like the TD garden Like one of things that would strike me is like we're just showing up. There's no trucks. There's no It's just a stage right and me and three of my buddies and that's it And 16 ,000 people and but bands play here and they have fucking trucks and shit All these people have to break down the stage there All the fucking pyro techniques and all that crazy shit these guys have right right.

1:09:07I know. I know we work We're cool. We're cool. We did good. It chose the right career for us for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah until you watch a rock band It's definitely something different I mean rock is kind of like a drug. There's something about going to see a band that's that's really good It's like you're the music hits your body. Yeah, it's like a drug. Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure the right tune Yeah, fuck you up. So I Agree who would who would like some of your first concerts as a Kidding first concert I saw it was Jay Giles band. You did yeah, that's with Peter Wolf and fucking that that's as cool as a Yeah, that's almost old days that arrowsmith and Jay guys can battle Oh, yeah, boss him back then Jay Giles was the fucking man when I was in high school.

1:09:56Yeah, see him I saw George Thurlgood. There you go. Johnny Winter Yeah, I saw a bunch of bands. Where'd you see him in I don't remember I wish I could remember I used to go with Wester with Sure, what's the call CM? Yeah, yeah, that's that was it was a century. So yeah Then I got a job when I was 19. I worked at great woods. You did yeah Yeah, yeah, fucking I played there. What a feeling that was yeah, because we saw so many shows growing up I saw a lot of comics there too when I saw some comics there when I got paid Yeah, in some comics there I paid to see them right like I saw kinnison there I paid to see you did that's cool, man Yeah, that was that was I saw Cosby there.

1:10:37I saw I saw Rodney there when I was working big Rodney was backstage naked with a Bathrobe on yeah, yeah, that's a big Rodney that was the Rodney days where the bathrobe days. Oh, okay, baby Yeah, but yeah, yeah, he would go on stage with a bathrobe just to make him feel comfortable Yeah, yeah, just was completely naked with a bathrobe on and just Murder or the best I mean murder and this was before I'd even thought about doing stand -up. I was 19 Fuck man, but I got to see you saw kinnison was he kinnison always dressed bad ass like a rock style Yeah, he fucking had the big long leather coat on and a beret.

1:11:12Yeah, I doubted that was just after I'd heard about kinnison too Yeah, I had heard about kinnison from a girl that I was working with I was working at besides doing the security guard work I was working at the Boston Athletic Club in South Boston. Wow. Yeah, so I was a trailer right? Yeah Yeah, I think they got a fucking basketball court there. Yeah, they got basketball. There's a lot of rock ball there Yeah, I've met Bobby or there you did that's cool. I had to help Bobby or because Bobby or had had like Fucking 150 knee surgeries, right? His knees were destroyed and you'd have to help him get on the Versa Climber machine Oh my goodness Bobby's knees didn't bend right Bobby's knees bending like this much right He had like 12 inches of movement in his knees And so you'd have to like kind of help him get on the Versa Climber machine Wow, we wanted the greatest athletes of all time you watch them play rock ball and you just kind of fall over Yeah, yeah, you know back they put it all out there Yeah, yeah, yeah, so the knee surgeries back then yeah archaic right so primitive Well, they just use staples and fucking screws and That's you see a certain age you see different scars on guys.

1:12:18Oh his knees. That's Bobby's knees. Oh Yeah, yeah, these knees are destroyed. That sucks man man. What a hero what a style always loved them He had 20 knee surgeries fucking insane. Was that your team the Bruins? I didn't really watch sports. Oh, yeah, you didn't no Once I got into martial arts. I really didn't care about any sports pretty cool man that you didn't because I know That's the biggest sport town Oh, it was a huge sport town everybody called me a pussy because I didn't know anything about football basketball baseball I didn't care. Yeah, it was like that's pretty good that you had your own thought process going I would join join right in we're trying to make the other kids like me dropping something Well, when I was 15 I just became obsessed with martial arts.

1:13:00That's great didn't care about anything else I literally didn't care about anything else. I'd watch basketball. I'd be like this is nonsense Who cares about that ball goes in that hole fucking cool man? I mean anything my dad always told me to do that He'd be like too martial arts too martial arts and I like I said I went to the sky I was like I wish I knew his name and I did that and then I think I really early in life. I tried it up. I just my body man. I wasn't meant for it It's not for everybody. No, that's good though. It's like everything in life Things that are not for you. Yeah, you just got to find the thing that is for you Yeah, I found a few and that's all I do Hope comedy.

1:13:39That's it perfect Life. Yeah, I guess so so this girl used to work with choose like a volleyball player and choose really hilarious and choose She was working at the front desk and she was like oh my god. I saw this guy This is 1986 is when kinesan had his HBO special And she told me about it. She's like there's this guy and his name is Sam kinesan and she she's she know that bit He did about homosexual necrophilia necrophiliax paying money to spend a few hours Undisturbed with the freshest male corpse. Is he remember that bit? I got it She'll she told me about this bit in that we're hanging out in the park and lot of the Boston Athletic Club And this girl is lying down on her stomach on the ground and she's like oh, oh I keep fucking in the ass even after you're dead It never ends and I was laughing so hard Yeah, and I remember like this girl just her doing kinesan's bit made me go to the video store to get a VHS of Kinesan special right the first time I saw it it came out on video.

1:14:37Yeah, and then I washed I was like oh my god Yeah, that was like the first seed in my head where I was like okay, this is comedy too Yeah, I didn't know that was comedy. I thought comedy was like something. I really liked But it was so different than me. Yeah, it was nothing that I would ever do right? It was just different It was like I didn't see myself that way, but I saw that guy. I'm like that guy's a fucking animal Yeah, yeah, you're tough for shit. Yeah, this is a different kind of comedy And that was like the first seeds in my head that I had of doing comedy. Yeah, that's amazing And then I got to see him live at great woods, but I saw a bunch over there.

1:15:12I saw the fuck I saw every I I quit The night Neil Young was there and they had a riot Really? Yeah, in New England, huh? Well, yeah The the the lawn you know how man's field yeah, great woods has that lawn out there. Well, it was cold out and people were starting fires on the lawn So they were like starting these little bonfires and you know, we had to break up the fires And then brawl started breaking out and I always knew that This job was like, you know, what did you get paid like 20 bucks an hour? I'm not gonna fight somebody for 20 bucks an hour. This is crazy So I always carried a hoodie with me And so I had my security shirt and then as soon as shit would go south I put the hoodie on like I'm out of here That's what you get that night.

1:15:55I quit. Oh, yeah, yeah, I quit the night. That's funny, man Yeah, it's got 20 bucks to get in a full on brawl Yeah, there was brawls breaking out left and right the first night I was there I watched one of the security guys beat this guy with a walkie -talkie and I was like Jesus. What did I sign up for? It's a crazy job so because some guy had stole one of the golf carts and there was this dude named Ali Kat Who was the head of security there and Ali Kat tackled this guy and he's beating him in the head with the walkie -talkie Wow, man, and I was like whoa, okay, what did I sign up for? Did you did you uh get in fights after you learn your shit like no, that's cool.

1:16:37No, no I avoided them all that's I'm not interested in fight. I would like fights where they were planned You know like meeting a guy and no you mean it like tournaments. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Boxing matches I do love those but Those to me made sense like fighting on the street. It's like no like people have guns people have knives This is fucking stupid. Sure. I was always nervous. Yeah, like I'm not I never felt like you getting a fight with someone someone hits you in the back of the head with a bat Also, yeah, if you fight someone it's that's never the end like they're gonna go get their cousins They're gonna get their brother.

1:17:12They're gonna try to find you when you're alone Like true. You don't want that kind of problem in your life. Just move on. Oh, it's so easy to take take Whatever they throw when actually with like that's supposed to start the fight just being on Yeah, okay, that that makes sense. You're right. I am a piece of shit Well, it all means nothing someone says it only means something to you if you believe them. Yes, you know someone says you're a pussy like okay What does that mean? This is mean anything. Yeah, you're just saying words until you try to hit me. This is nonsense It's like oh you have a bad opinion of me.

1:17:46Oh, that's okay. I don't really care Like I also I was tired all the time because I was training like six seven days a week So I was like I don't want to be involved in this stupid shit right. Yeah, I already worked out today I can't fight you also. I was very aware of the consequences of violence. I'd seen by the time I was 21 years old I'd probably seen 40 or 50 people get knocked on conscious right At least what a terrible sight that probably a lot more than that. Yeah, I see so many people snore You know, it's just on the ground twitching and snoring. I've seen so much. Yeah, yeah, I grew up with that So it's like to me.

1:18:22I was like I don't want none of that in my life I don't want to have anything to do with this Especially outside of fighting. Yeah concrete floors and head hitting the ground. Oh KJ worked with a guy in Long Island when KJ was a bouncer right this guy killed a guy He punched a guy and the guy fell hit his head and died Now the guy has to go to jail now you're working as a bouncer just like I was working as a body as a security guard in great woods Like you could have gotten a fight hit someone now you're in jail. Yeah, and you look for what holy shit. Yeah I that's that's so cool you worked a great one So that's like the what a destination to go to and see so many great fucking bands.

1:19:02I you know, it's funny. You said kennis in I used to be on MTV when I was young and we'd go to Daytona Beach You you were on remote control. I was on remote control. That's right. Quinn got me on it And it was the best But we went to spring break Daytona Beach and kennisin was at the height and I went to it was the first guy saw out in arena kennisin and some other bad boys so with some guys I forget their names, but they probably call a ball Yeah, yeah, Karla boat right in a couple other guys. They all kind of really funny tough bastards. The outlaws of commoners. That's it That's what it was and I saw kennisin destroy uh And it was it was like I saw Rodney at a theater in Florida where it felt like fucking holy shit This is a rock show because it was bam bam yeah, Rodney rapid fire like a machine gun Hey, the best Rodney would crush for like eight minutes and then go I know a lot of fucking jokes Maybe and they go you know that was so cool man, but kennisin too just took over Saw him in the moment.

1:20:11Yeah, amazing Yeah, I got to see kennisin decline too I got to see the decline because I saw him a couple of times live and the last time I saw him live It was in New Hampshire and there was not that many people there. I drove to this theater With this girl that I was dating. I was probably 20 at the time. Again, it was before I did comedy and he was just It was already like Booz and heavy yeah, it wasn't as good right he was a little because he peaked in 86 I feel like The kennisin from 86 is probably one of the greatest comedians that ever lived if not the best He was a monster. He was a monster.

1:20:52Yeah, but the guy was doing below and breaking and I out with rock stars Yeah, I just partying and he his brother wrote about it. Do you ever read his brother's book? Uh -huh brother Sam? Right, it's brother Bill. It's a great book. Yeah, it's a great book if you're a fan of standup I tell anybody go buy that book because it's a great book and Bill said that you could see the drop off in Sam's material because he just stopped writing you right He wasn't hungry anymore, right? He had made it Yeah, you know because is this like there's this hungry inside of him to make it as a comedian And that's what let him to be outrageous.

1:21:27Yeah, do all those jokes about like the starving kids in Africa And all these different jokes he did the just so outrageous and that preacher's voice in that fucking powerful delivery Yeah, but then when he made it man He got real fat and just just drinking every night. Yeah, he was he was starting wearing the bandana The bandana days the rock star days. It just dropped off. It wasn't the same. It was like a caricature of kennis That's funny. It's just happens. It happens that when you're drinking or doing an out of fuck it was I I got Coat yeah, sure I think that's the that's the one that really like well that makes you not fake straight You're definitely all over the place you fucking you can't stay steady with a thought yeah, and But I remember I met him a couple times Paulie sure was very tight with him.

1:22:14Yeah, and I knew Paulie and I hung out with kennis and a couple times but uh, but I saw him at the improv the last time I saw him and he had he was a little little He's so sweet like he was so nice to me and he remembered that we hung a little bit You know, I was a young fucking dummy and he was nice to me and uh He had that that kind of glazed had a few too many yeah in the eyes, but he was just He definitely was When he walked into the fucking improv that night every comedian was like well holy shit. There he is the fucking man Right. Oh, it's cool. He changed comedy He really did because there was no comedy like that before kennis and camera.

1:22:57He was a different kind of comedy It's like all the sudden comedy was like you could yell Yeah Oh my god, that was the biggest force he was just like in the preacher's voice that thing that he had a where he had that charisma of being this Yeah, survival preacher. Yes. Yes, everybody we talk quite Yeah, yeah Oh my god, and he was a legend at the store You know when I got to the store goes through these errors, right? And when I got to the store it was 94 and the kennis and error had Ended he died and then there was this big drop off like the store was kind of vacant when I got there in 94 It was weird like the shows would be half empty and uh, yeah Yeah, they were having problems with it.

1:23:44Yeah, but they all had these stories all the guys like Harris Pete and the guys that were still around They don't have these stories about when kennis and was there. Yeah, he would perform at midnight Around 11 30 all these rock stars or start showing up and movie stars, right? Yeah, they would all go there to see kennis and yeah So he had the midnight spot Fucking cool, and they would all go and I remember thinking imagine people come into the comedy store just to see you That must be so insane. That's fucking cool as far. Oh, it was the coolest because it was all just word of mouth Yeah, everybody this is like 84 -ish before a pocket Everybody just knew about him Rock rock.

1:24:23I remember I remember Chris was in Vegas and I went to see him with Nicholson And Jim Brooks while we were sitting there and fucking Nicholson was laughing his ass off and I had that thought you just had I was just going fucking rock is so cool right people fucking fly An hour like where is he? Let me go see him. They sit back and laugh and I fucking just going shit rock You really are fucking stud. Oh, yeah, the bring the pain days bigger and blacker and bring the pain to the greatest specials I'm unbelievable. Of all of us flawless. Yeah, yeah, he's a badass. I talked to rock yesterday Just for like 10 minutes or something and we got really excited about stand up again.

1:25:10I go you're you writing? He goes kind of like he can't stop when he was doing his tour He's like I need a break blah blah blah. He just did like a fucking year on the road or something right and then he's right back to like Got some ideas. Yeah, I think that's a good way to do it take a little break and just refresh your mind Yeah, you're not running stale of course. He did a live special too. His live special was fuck. I loved it Yeah, and it was also like the buildup because they're getting slapped by Will Smith and all that crazy shit Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that was like the best thing that ever happened to him Because then he became like wild again like his stand up was like outrageous like it was like the rock of old That that night was Like watching the fucking Super Bowl.

1:25:55He was just like what what's it's a live event? Holy fuck what the fuck? Yeah, he was got bad ass and I think he had some white shit on and you look cool as fucking You waiting for him to talk about it and yeah, he got to it and he got fucking excited Well, he didn't talk about it for a while. Yeah, right? He would tell people if you think I'm gonna talk about it I'm not yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he wanted to be ready and he wanted to really think about what he was gonna say and how that's That's because of where we are in life where anything you say is fucking on the internet the next day So it's like I'd be careful and not blow this shit up Also, they were right when the bits.

1:26:30Yeah, people would just tell the bits and that it wasn't even ready yet Yeah, exactly because if you have a life changing event like getting slapped at the Oscars In this most preposterous scenario. Yeah, the whole thing was preposterous. Yeah, I think for him was also a wake -up call like hey These motherfuckers don't really care about me In that moment. Yeah, yeah, they didn't protect me nobody stopped it He went back and sat down and then he got an award afterwards. He got a standing ovation What the fuck is going on? It was fucking weird. Yeah, because you want you always want to be that guy Who's hosting the Oscars and who's starring in the big movies and yeah, yeah Everybody wanted everybody wanted to be the big movie star But then you realize like oh these people are fuckers You know like what did you do?

1:27:15How did you set this up? How come nobody tackled him? That was fucking weird moment. Oh Weird It's like a guy just showing his ass like you just pulled your pants down show the world your ass like why did you do that? Yeah He probably does he probably wakes up in the middle of the night So why did I do that whole thing with socks? Oh Yeah, it was almost like a guy who doesn't know how normal people act Thinking this is what you're supposed to go smack that guy. Hey cat it became fucking just Just went to a place that he couldn't get out of yeah and started it and still there He's still there and in everybody's mind when you see Will Smith.

1:27:58Oh, he slapped Chris rock That's like I mean not I am legend Not Muhammad Ali not insanely good movies. Yeah guys an incredible actor absolutely. Yeah, he's been in so many banger movies Yeah, he's a fucking blockbuster movie star. Yeah, yeah, people see him to go. Oh, he slapped Chris rock. Fuck that. Fucking socks. That's god damn it terrible sucks man and fucking Yeah, it's it follows you around it sucks, but uh, but my man uh Rock and The kinesens like in the yet that shit when you when you spread it that happens like once every fucking eight years or something Somebody becomes this shit. Yeah, every now and then someone pops through and it elevates all of us Yes, everybody that gets to see it they're going.

1:28:43Oh my god. I want to be better. I want to write more. Yeah Yeah, when I used to see Chris at the store. Yeah, whenever Chris would come in and you do a set I'd watch and I'd be like oh my god I remember once I was fucking in the back of the room and this comic stood in front like while was watching Chris is like dude. I gotta get on your podcast I'm like you gotta get the fuck away from me. I'm watching Chris rock. Why are you watching Chris rock? Yeah, he's one of the greats and he's on stage right now. Yes, and you're talking to me. Holy shit. Get the fuck out of here That's so funny man. I guys never been on my podcast this day.

1:29:13Oh, like get out of here. You're in the moment Get the fuck out of here. It is he he rock is Never wasted a fucking minute on stage. Oh, he's trying to shit out. Oh, he's Either notebook or just trying to remember whatever never fucking got Tense with the crowd just just like they're not liking this but I'm liking it So I'm gonna keep going well He would do this thing where he would go on stage and he would just have raw premises And he was so comfortable with total silence. Yes. Yes. Yes. Where it wasn't going well And then he would catch fire and then start killing Yeah, man, and then they're like, oh, it is Chris rock.

1:29:53Yeah, and then he would go right back He was like using them as like a sounding board. You're right. And he would tell them like I'm practicing You know the same good. I remember one time he went on Somebody fucking killed anyone on and the first thing he said hold on relax. It ain't gonna be that funny. All right Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's calm down exactly. I'm working on some shit But that's how you develop a monster hour. You have to start off with building a structure. Yeah, man Get a foundation. Yeah, you're fucking even your first night of the tour By the last night you're going now. That's my act now The friends who saw you the first two nights you're like Fuck, I wish you would have seen me fucking right a couple weeks later.

1:30:32I had I figured out that bit Yeah, you don't want anybody to see you when you're doing a workout. So like get the fuck out man This is a workout set. This could be terrible. This could be bad especially when a buddy sees you Yeah, like that. What a feeling. Yeah, there's no dismount here. Yeah Yeah, it's like it's interesting how those guys like like a guy like rock or kineson or louis or anybody who's just like really Killin it. Yeah, it elevates everybody around you. Yeah, man everybody everybody gets a little better because of that because you get I think rock was on stage and just killed one time and I remember John Stewart who was probably 24 at the time I think I was like 18 or 20 or whatever are these differences John's through goes I don't want I quit.

1:31:21I don't like he's just like goddamn that's good, man Well, you know, that's what air claps and say when you saw Jimmy Hendrix. Yeah, so Jimmy Hendrix is like what am I doing? You feel like a 40 -year -old you see you got great shit. Yeah, well, especially a guy like Hendrix that comes along and he's doing something Completely different than everybody else. Everybody else is playing guitar. They're all great. Yeah, and then also in this guy comes Oh, my goodness. I know Oh, that was an ass to when I work with Phil Hartman He told me a story when he was 18 years old. He worked at the whiskey And He his his job was they they had those stage monitors and sometimes the stage monitors the the the artists would accidentally kick them and they would go into the crowd So his job was this because they were is a you ever been the whiskey?

1:32:11Yeah, small stage, right? Not that big. Yeah, and so When he would he'd have to stand there like to be prepared to like catch the speaker And Hendrix was right there like where you are Hendrix was and he was 18 years old and he's a dude. It was insane I was cuz Phil could play a little guitar too, but he was watching He's like I'm watching literally the greatest guitarist of all time. Yes. Yes, and he's three feet away from him That's fucking cool, man. It's saying and then Phil did all the the album covers and shit Oh, you know, I have one of them out here. Well, I've framed. Yeah, man one of his album covers.

1:32:49He did a bunch He's a great artist. He was a very interesting guy. Oh, yeah So many different things. Yeah, he studied so he made me feel like such a fraud because he would study his lines And he would have like little posted tabs Well different colored ones for different scenes and you have notes and all these different things and he he would like prepare for me Be prepared in the mirror. Yes. Yes. Yeah, I was like, I know he was the pro for sure. Such a pro with everything All right. Oh, man like when we were doing the show he was getting his pilot's license So like every day in between scenes he'd be like reading these pilots manuals.

1:33:27Yeah, he was just like Yeah, yeah, I lived in the same apartment building when I was on SNL as Phil. Oh, wow We'd go up on the elevators together and talk about shit. I was you know, of course he was older So you were just excited that he'd be talking to you. Yeah, he was a cool motherfucker. Yeah I remember the first day on the set of news radio like I couldn't even believe he was really there. Yes I was like looking over across the table. You know doing the table read. Yeah, how did I get on this fucking show? I didn't have zero acting like I did this right you get it This the craziest story the whole thing's crazy.

1:34:04I did MTV half -hour comedy hour right or deal like whatever five seven That was the host joiner. Yeah, Mario joiner. Yeah, so I did MTV half -hour comedy hour I got a development deal out of nowhere. Wow, MTV That's big MTV was offering me a development deal and then my manager started saying it was very little money It was like 500 bucks. They were gonna lock me up for like three years. It was crazy low money. It was so stupid But you would judge I was like think it about let's do it. Yeah, I was thinking about do it because this is like after remote control And they'd made Dennis leery famous.

1:34:36Yes, they had decided they were gonna lock people up to deals now because leery got famous Off that then he took off and then kind of went away from MTV I see. Yeah, yeah, so they had decided that they were gonna lock up talent So if I did this pilot at the pilot got picked up. I would have been there So my manager said he said I have an idea and so he decided to send my MTV tape out to all these studios and say this guy's about to sign a a development deal for For MTV and locked up, but he's still available So then I started getting all these phone like people call my apartment I was at home like hello and like all right.

1:35:11This is Bob a Bob from Universal We want to get you on a plane right now to Los Angeles. I was like what? Wow, so I called my manager. I called Sussi and I was like hey dude This fucking people are calling my apartment. He goes don't answer your phone He goes go to the pool hall don't answer the phone And he goes just leave it all to me And so within like three weeks I had this crazy deal for like a hundred and fifty thousand dollars Which is the most money I'd ever even heard of in my life and all of a sudden I was in Hollywood like out of nowhere So that I was on to deal with like CBS. It was with Disney.

1:35:41We did a lot which is crazy because I was Filthy right yeah, yeah, but they would and also never deal with Disney and I'm on block for that my box sitcom and so I had to get actually lessons I took a few acting lessons. I needed it. I was like this is gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then but I knew how to just pretend I'm like I pretend on stage. I'll just pretend like sitcom acting is pretty easy right and so all the sudden I'm on this sitcom it gets canceled and I'm like oh thinking about moving back to New York But I was like I hated LA. I hated being around actors You couldn't joke around with them.

1:36:13They were also sensitive right? It was on pills They're all on antidepressants. It's like get me out of here. I can't do it. I want to go back to comics Yeah, and so I was ready to move back to New York and but I had gotten this fucking apartment I thought that the sitcom was gonna go So I got a lease on this beautiful apartment in North Hollywood. I had a loft and a pool table I thought I was going Yeah, I was making like 20 grand a week. I was like I thought I'm merged So I got this apartment and I'm like wow this apartment. I can't just leave the apartment with the fuck do I do And so then I got another development deal And so I I'd gone I don't two auditions in my entire life One of them was hardball got that show the other ones news radio.

1:36:52I got that show. That's fucking crazy Made no sense made no sense and all sudden I'm sitting there and I'm sitting across from Phil Hartman Yeah, I'm like this is crazy. That's a biggie. I just not I had full and that show fucking kept going for for a while News radio was big. No wasn't it wasn't I thought it was in that real stingray. Yeah It wasn't big until after it was canceled. Oh, I see and then it went into syndication how many years did it five years That's pretty good. Yeah, but it became a shit got really big in syndication. I see I see before years I think we did five years we did a like 98 chose who did who else was on I forget all this more a tyranny She's right right day fully amazing.

1:37:31That's right Andy dick. Yeah, and that's how I met Farley through Andy right and um Candy Alexander. She was awesome. Vicki Lewis. He was Steven Rote amazing. All right. So it was a great cast Yeah, I you know, I felt like a fraud. I was like all these people of like background and theater Right, right? And films movies and TV shows and I was like Yes, dirty. Filmed everybody feel that way every everybody was kind of like well. He's he's the next level Oh, he was the next level and he was so good him and Steven Rote was so good too Yeah, he was the one that wasn't even himself everybody else was just being a version of well Steven Rute and You know he was a different human.

1:38:09Yeah, like he was a sweet normal guy and then he would play Jimmy James And he would just fall into this character with this like yeah, yeah, yeah, just like when he was in office space Yeah, I believe in law. Yeah, so it was just worship too. Yeah, it bizarre being on that show because I was 26 27 Yeah, when I was on a show and I was sitting big money. Wow, but it was also confusing I felt like such an imposter. Yeah, someone's gonna figure out that I'm bloggers. That's fun. I have to go get a job That's nice though. That's a good that's a good person to be feeling like that I think I was a cocky fuck who was like yeah, baby.

1:38:43They figured it out Um, yeah But I literally didn't get shit growing up. I I auditioned for shitting and never got nobody like me really every audition They were just like I would talk to my agent after and be like you know nervously asking what they say you know and then they'd have to be well, yeah Did you read the sides before I'd be like what do you mean? That's what they said. Of course I read the sides They were like I thought you didn't know it that way. I go what I thought I thought I knew it real well. They didn't like it Do you think that you're they would use words to kind of be gentle with me, but just say you're not you're not ready yet Well It's funny how you have confidence when you're young and you really do think that you're ready Like I'm never thinking that like at open mic nights like you'd see someone on stage and they were bomb I'm like God, I wish I could go up there.

1:39:35Yeah, how's terrible. Yeah, I would bomb too Yeah, of course. Yes, oh watch in another actor and you go I'm when you were young and you see so when you're age on a show you'd be like What's with what I could fucking question and then you realize looking back. Oh, that kind of was pretty fucking good Yeah, well news radio is fortunate because I got to play like a more retarded version of myself It was like basically like in a lot of conspiracy theories and Oh, okay, and delusional. I was like a version of me All right, so the writers are very they know that they were writing that way. I say figured me out after a while and sort of writing stuff in As you know, I talked to them about Fucking UFO projects.

1:40:16Oh wow man top secret shit And then they put all that kind of stuff in the script that was into stupid things was fastening you got into that shit real young Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was like alone in your head or you just some you had somebody who brought it up to you and you started Go with that well with conspiracies I friend of mine who was in a band gave me a book once on the road and it was a book called best evidence by this guy David lifting it's all about the Kennedy assassination He's like you got to read this the government killed Kennedy. I was like what? Hey guys, I remember reading this book going what the fuck I read this book.

1:40:52It was just really funny And I went on stage after I read it and bombed uh -huh and I apologize to a club owner I was like look man, I'm funny. I read this I'm right and they're like don't read it tomorrow. I got a promise Tomorrow and I killed I killed the next night because I put the book down You got to be Bomb terrible, but it was flat. It wasn't good. I was in a weird headspace. Yeah, I was like Jesus Christ. They killed the president Yeah, I was like this is nuts. That's funny man. Wow. It fucked you up I'd fuck me up, and then it got me down this conspiracy spiral. Yeah, I started questioning things.

1:41:29Yeah, it's like what else? Don't I know wow? I started reading about all kinds of different things. I didn't know that's fucking amazing The man in his book called the strange death of Vince Foster It's all Vince Foster guy work with Clinton who got murdered and verse says they said it was a suicide He had the gun in his hand. There was less but it but less blood at the crime scene Then was missing from his body because seemed like his body had been transported to the crime scene. Wow Yeah, yeah, Jesus Christ Those things will fuck you up Fascinating shit. Yeah, if you get involved in reading books like that and you get your head gets filled with that kind of shit You know, Quinn was like that too Quinn read a lot of shit and he would tell me to read stuff and I remember he knew a lot about Crazy mass murderers and shit and I would start going what happened and he would tell me these things And I remember telling my dad some of the shit quit Quinn told me about I don't remember But I'd be like and then this guy and mebobot and Ted Bundy and this and that and my father started getting like Son of fucking murder why is he talking so much about murder or so much?

1:42:30Joey Diaz gave me this book called murder machine once. It's about Roy DeMail You know Roy DeMail, I'm not sure he was a serial killer who worked for the mob And he he would kill people like They had to bar downstairs and they had department upstairs who would kill people and then cut him up in the bathtub Upstairs. Yeah, and just killed a bunch of fucking people's a horrific book Right, I remember reading that called Jesus fucking just knowing that there's people out there Oh my god, and he just getting the wrong fucking place the wrong guy shows up at your house Oh boy. Oh boy. Yeah, it was just like those things are terrible to read before you go on stage though Fuck your brain up.

1:43:13That's so funny that you ate it because of that book. Oh, yeah I've eaten in a couple times because I did the wrong thing before I went on stage One time I had a gig in New Jersey and it was a college and I had it it was a weird Place to get to it was back in the day before navigation. So they would give you the directions over the phone like go to 405 and get off this exit So they give me the directions and I get that I leave early because they tell me it's really hard to get to and I get there about a half hour Early yes, but it was hard to get I was like Jesus Christ is a place hard to find yeah, and I was working with JB smooth ah and JB was supposed to open and I was supposed to close and they said JB's not here yet So want you to relax in the the rec room and sit out and and we'll tell you when the show's gonna start So I sit down and I'm watching this documentary on the Malibu fires And it's all these people like people lost their family lost their house houses But this little kid walking around looking for his dog rusty.

1:44:15Where are you rusty? Yallon for their dog dogs dead right and there's this fireman who is just weeping and crying The people in this community lost this house and then they come in the grave and they go like JB's not here yet So we're gonna have you open up and hopefully when you go up stage. He's gonna go up mic. Okay And We're I'm crying I was a little crying watching this thing about these people losing everything these fires. It was horrific. Oh my god I just ate shit That's terrible. And then finally JB's shows up and he showed up and he went on after me and murdered Yeah, he was loose and happy.

1:44:51I really came in the right mood didn't watch that shit. Yeah, he's a killer anyway. He's very Yeah, I remember they're god you can't do that Yeah, I was with my girlfriend at the time and she was like so disappointed in me like wow She seen you kill before. Yeah, she knew I was funny. It's funny man. I got watch that fucking thing I have similar It's not from watching something. Oh, I have moments where I'm driving to a club And I'm in this fucking mood where I'm going. Oh my god. I ain't gonna fucking destroyed it tonight I have such a like the last two hours have been in the right mood Maybe some fucking song comes on I'm like, oh fuck that fuck me up a little bit that song.

1:45:30Yeah, I bet I walk in then I'm in this fucking weird mood I'm a little down. I get on stage all of a sudden. I let the crowd own me. I'm like what the fuck happened I was so ready to kill tonight and I fucking turn into Yeah, you're in the cut just just to the morning Let me know you Oh Why am I here he gets sad you can't get sad for you go and say it you gotta protect your mind my fuck my wife Helps me out sometimes when she sees my head spinning before I go up. She goes they're here to see you You to see you're good. They like you. You don't have to worry so much. I'd be like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay They're here for the good time.

1:46:15Yeah, don't fuck then you know, they're not testing you Go have some fun with them. Yeah, no, no, no, you're right. You're right and then I go fuck let me go on happy Because the times I go on fucked up and being like yeah guys gonna like me or am I gonna have to fight? I'm like I have fucked up. That's why to me one of the things I've realized early on is take people on the road with you Because in the early days when I was headlining they would have like a local middle act and a local opener and Sometimes it'd be fun. That's right. And sometimes it'd be terrible. Sometimes guy would be a douche bag Yeah, like why are you fucking closing?

1:46:51Step on your material like they'd see your Right and then they cover the same stuff holy shit You have to argue with them. Well, you do come in you do you're doing one of my fucking bits No, man. I've been doing that bit like yeah, you fuck you Like there was like a lot of sabotage going all right, it just wasn't fun because then you'd be stuck in this town You didn't know anybody. Oh, yeah watching TV go the movies by the condo. Yeah, yeah depressing Yeah, so I realized like if you could go on the road with funny people you're gonna have fun It's good for them because they get a gig So I just have to pay the opening act and I have to pay for their airfare And I would make less money, but I would have more fun.

1:47:29I was like more fun is more important than anything Absolutely, and it's more important for the show to you go up in the right frame always and I know that the comics in front of me You're gonna be really good. Yeah, yeah, so it's gonna be a good show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want the audience to have fun But I want to fun too. Yeah, so then it was a party then I'd be on the road Yeah show ideas and we'd be having a party and where we go We'd be just having fun and it became family. It was like we wherever we were It didn't matter if we were in Ohio and you Jersey. It was us Day time day time's fun.

1:48:00Yeah have dinner together then go fucking do you Exactly stay up all night. Yeah, I know but Joey was such a wild card Yeah, is that this is back in the the Joey the cocaine days. This is cocoa Joey. Yeah. Yeah, yeah So I used to I brought a second opening act in case Joey didn't show up. Wow I'm sensitive because sometimes I didn't want to tell him he couldn't do the gigs. Hey, you're not reliable Yeah, cuz I loved them and I love you I'm like the times these days they are so magic. Sure. I want to make sure that he knows he's always got a key Side book them and then sometimes I'd book them and we do Friday and Saturday And then I call him on Sunday.

1:48:36I gave a show seven. I'm going back home. What do you talk about? You know, I don't do Sundays I told you Joe Rogan. I don't do Sundays. Oh You never told me you'll bring it on me. Yeah, yeah, I told you yeah And so having a third opening act would or second opening you gotta do longer Yeah, what would be like I'd bring Ari so if it was me and Ari Shafir is like okay, Ari does 25 minutes And then I'll do an hour and 15 or whatever and we got a great show. Yeah, man. We have Joey shows up Okay, ground now we got a three -man show on a man. I love that so I scheduled it just so yeah, you know, we'd always have some sort of a failsafe Yeah, it's fucking way more fun Like when I won't go out with the the gang good Lord.

1:49:18Yeah, good time. Yeah, you're having fun It's fucking and you write shit. Yeah, you want it because you want to make them laugh exactly instead of doing the same fucking Shit over and over you just like hey, yeah, I'm gonna try some new shit out tonight and then your buddies come out and watch you Yeah, it's exciting and you watch them and you go And you have a good time. Yeah, you're having a good time. Yeah, everyone's having a good time Which to me was like way more important than making X amount of thousand dollars more I'd rather give them that money and then We all have fun. Yeah, yeah, that to me was the best way I fucking when I was real young I started at 17 and I had a car and I so I used to get booked a lot because I would drive the good guys, you know Right, but I've noticed that it was always three of us me and the two other fucking guys who were good And they would have the best time together.

1:50:09They fucking think I suck, but I was fine I was just getting to be with the guys who were like 25 I was 17 18 They were 25 shooting the shit You know getting into trouble, but going on stage and destroying But I and then you'd see him fucking hanging in the hotels and shit and and always having the best night And I'd be like yeah, that seems like the way to I was on my own still They would kind of be like that fucking Adam guy He'll take us home, but he said I didn't I didn't think he was that funny, but but fucking learn from Seeing these superstar guys on the road fucking have fun. Isn't it funny how sometimes those guys always think of you as that guy They their relationships are the same exactly.

1:50:51They still like hey, what's up? They're like I know you fucking went on and remember when you sucked. Yeah, it's exactly You talk back to him. Yeah, you talked I'm I still let him own me these guys Oh, I'm like yeah, right? You didn't see me suck. You're right Well, that's why you have to get out of your town because they always remember you as an open micro Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, like I didn't get any like headlining gigs in Boston Wow, where did you play you played stitches the stitches nicks comedy stop? Yeah, yeah connection connection. What a room It was great room fucking little one the little one was the best that tight was Yeah, yeah, low ceiling that's the one I see yeah, it was stuffed stuffed in there Bumper popper it was packed.

1:51:34There's a fucking time. Yeah, play it again. Sam's was that yeah, yeah I didn't play it again, Sam's that place was great What was the one that was a Chinese restaurant? Calune, Saugus and Saugus yeah When then the ding ho was the ding ho yeah, I wasn't there for that one Oh, I think that's the one I did that place went under a few years before I started uh -huh You know, so but when I came around I had missed like the heyday of Boston comedy was like 84 and I came around in 88 That's what I started got you. Okay. We always talk about the ding ho and there was all these How many I did Lenny Clark all these guys from the ding ho didn't fuck with Lenny Clark a lot of Tony v Tony some of these guys you just couldn't fucking you just would watch them go how the fucking I kill like that Well, those guys had again as you said they had the same act for like 15 years And that act was like a hammered down like a samurai sword.

1:52:25Yeah, it was so tight like Don Gavin So tight you see is actually Jesus Christ God would murder fucking Tommy sledge do you remember he He would pretend to be a Private eye I backed up I moved on but he was funny. Yeah, some of those guys some of those guys and some of those ladies man They murdered and and uh Yeah, did you ever see that documentary when stand -ups stood out? Fran Salamita made this great documentary about the heyday of Boston comedy oh stand -up stood out right right It was all about the transition between these guys being these local comics that were as good as anyone in the world Yeah, and then Stephen Wright becomes famous Wow, and then Stephen Wright gets on tonight show.

1:53:11Yeah, it comes this world Was it letterman or tonight show that he first did I forget what it was but he becomes he became huge Yeah, and then they're all now everyone's like scrambling like what did we do like we do We didn't have an act that translated outside of Boston. Yeah, that's that's true back then. It was very Very very Steven Wright definitely in my high school holy shit everybody knew every it was like Rodney He was like right after Rodney you'd repeat his jokes. You couldn't believe it And everyone's like he's fucking so smart. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

1:53:48Yeah, I'm believe Ridiculous. I think I tried to write like him in the beginning I think I as a stand -up did like 10 different guys. I didn't know who I wanted right. I didn't know what was right I was doing like Bobcat kind of shit. I do a character. I didn't know what the fuck but Stephen Wright We'd always me my buddy We'd kind of try to write in that vein of a little weird and make you think and what is what a cool joke I don't fucking know. I also remember all those guys got popped by the IRS Because they were enough. Yeah, they all got popped because none of them are paying taxes They're all getting paid cash.

1:54:23Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so they all got in trouble I remember working at Nick's Comedy Stomp. They offered you could get paid in cash or in Coke Yeah, yeah, remember those things. Yeah, that's how wild those those days were And so these guys were just animals. They were all getting paid cash They were drinking and party and every night And they were headlining and there's one time during the heyday where Nick's Comedy Stop had three rooms run in cymbal That's right. Yeah, and they have two shows a night in each room So these guys would do six sets and they were making bank and they all had a deal Yeah, like the way nicks nicks had them set up where they they were nicks comics exclusives So they would just work for nicks, but they gave you so much work.

1:55:05Yeah, you didn't want a book They book too, right? They've set a few road kids. I remember Bill Downs was a Yeah, connection he used to book me on the road too. I work for a private investigator when I was Starting out when I was an open -micro and this private investigator was billed down as cousin And I didn't find out about until after I started working for him Wow, and to this day one of the funniest guys I've ever met in my life just never did stand up He was his name was Dick Dolan you call Dave Dolan rather you call himself dynamite dickless Dave Dolan And he was dickless He was fucking hilarious.

1:55:41I have a phone that I see died a couple years back But I have a phone that I saved and I'll never get rid of because it got a voicemail on that phone from him Where he called me up lose like I did a gig in Boston and hung out with him was like hey Joe like this He was just a Boston character. Right. Just a hilarious dude And he was cousins with with Bill Downs funny man, which is just small downs. What a guy that guy used to book me all the time Even though even when I would do bad he'd be like I heard it didn't go that good I'd be like yeah, and I'm in my head. I'm like okay, it's over big guy Yeah, big guy big guy big guy.

1:56:18Yeah, I didn't go that good big guy. Yeah, right right. Yeah, I know but then he fucking Get me another gig. Oh, yeah, and Quincy. There was some place in Quincy man. I forget the name of that The naughty pine. Mm -hmm. Did you ever work for Dick Dirty? I don't think so you never did Dick Dirty's comedy huts I don't think so. He was the godfather he called himself the godfather of Boston comedy. Okay. Yeah, he had a bunch of terrible Gets that like 88 yeah, yeah, 88 on I fucking was in the scene in Boston more from 84 to 88 Okay, so you were in the heyday. I was you got there like right. I got there.

1:56:55It was huge. I wasn't great But then buddy all of a sudden I got on Saturday night live. I don't know 89 or something and Those same guys Would come see me all of a sudden I got big in the colleges and I was doing these fucking giant shows back then it was Unbelievable, you know 2000 3000 5000 seats and The guys that I used to eat it in front of would come Do the gigs with me and they'd watch me and they'd be like that fucking loose Lizard's killing now the fuck did that have It's again the thing when they see you in the beginning they never respect you right. They remember you sucking Yeah, they were right But it's it's hard for people to accept that you grew Yeah, which is weird.

1:57:47That's true. That's true. It's like some fucking pro athletes It's like like Jordan fucking wasn't the man for a while right he got cut from his high school team right exactly It's gonna happen through in every every Every Profession that you just got to get figure out what you're you just got to practice We did you always want to be on snl or was something that came up kind of I didn't even know it It wasn't that thought I wanted to be a movie star I was cocky and tell him my friends and colleges. I don't be fucking movie star They'd be like why why would you be a movie star look at you? You know got fucking I'd be like you don't get it man I'm fucking and I thought it was good looking too I thought I was good looking like now How the fuck did I think I like I know I'm normal looking but I thought they was something fucking attractive about me that people are gonna be like That's a fucking stud right there and No, I then I think I'm I was doing stand -up Dennis Miller Said good shit about me to to snl people and then Sandy Wernick was my manager and he knew all them and they got me an audition And then I did it and then they hired me as asked me to be a writer and I remember saying to her L .E.

1:59:02who knew more about SNL I didn't watch SNL that much. I was kind of lost. They were like it's really good the Dana Carveys incredible like yeah, yeah, he's great. He's great They're like and I was like but but I kind of want to get in the movies and they were like And my buddies are like you should do SNL if there's that choice, you know So you were thinking about not well, I wasn't I wasn't sure wasn't sure. I was kind of let's see Let's see. I don't I'm not a writer So why am I gonna become a writer it doesn't make any sense. I'm not even that fucking good at that What was the audition like what did you have to do?

1:59:37I did stand up at in Chicago improv was me rock Dana Gould and a couple other guys and I did decent and the SNL people's Thought I wrote some funny shit Lauren thought I wrote some funny shit Robert's Michael thought I Had some shit and then I got on wow and spade was I want to be a I was 23 Yes, that was big That's nuts. That's as cool as it gets. Yes, was that feeling like was uh All of a sudden it became like you were in a rock band because I had you know Farly got on and fucking rock and spade and and we would walk down the street in Schneider and Norm and we all Tim Meadows we were just always together.

2:00:22So there was this is a crazy band confidence You know if anyone talked shit about the show We were at a restaurant like it wasn't that good to say we were just like shut the fuck up. Maybe like we were fucking ready Because it was so many of us, you know It was like but then when you were alone and somebody says I saw you kind of like, huh? Yeah, you know There's something cool about having a bunch of guys with you. Oh, yeah, let's confidence. Yeah, you got a team Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 23 was a like like When when it was poppin because you were on a great era of yes and L2 look at that fucking cast.

2:01:01Yes I mean to met look at that. Yeah fucking cast. Oh fucking every young speed looks and rock. Oh my god Yeah, Frank and Jesus Christ. Yeah, look at that cast. That's when he was in the cast that year Neal and everybody loved everybody everybody loved and Ellen Kleghorn I knew from the comic strip wow and and Melanie and Julia all cool all cool very tight Became but we all love Neal and every every comedian loves Neal and Everybody like like the way he dropped jokes in and fucking smooth as smooth as hell This is a crazy looking at yourself back then. I fucking don't know what I was thinking spade sent me a fucking Skip we did Like six months ago and I was like this is the first time it's ever happened spade I don't fucking remember that one ounce.

2:01:48I don't even know what that thing was about I don't remember what it was but I go I didn't remember saying any of those words I didn't know what the jokes were. I didn't know what the fucking ending was. He's like you don't So I don't fucking remember that one you did he goes sort of did But it was weird. That's how I know I've been doing this so fucking long this shit I know I've been doing this shit long when somebody comes up to me a big famous motherfucker And we go hey man. I go a nice to meet you and he's like nice to meet you We met and I'm like I fucking didn't remember meeting you what the fuck happened Well, you you bring it's overwhelmed with people.

2:02:21Yeah, you know that number Dunbar's number Do you know what that is? No, Dunbar's number is a principle that you can only keep like 150 people in your head And then there's some people that you can keep kind of like in a distance like acquaintances But there's like a tight group of a small number and then as it branches out It gets to like 150 everything after that is very sketchy wow and when you're famous You're constantly meeting people which is very unusual for human beings. That's right. Yeah Also very unusual that they know you but you don't know them right. So this is this weird thing Yeah, we go nice to meet you like we met.

2:02:56Oh I forgot. Sorry. It's not like I don't like you. It's almost care. I'm not mean. I got you with a bunch of them today Yeah, yeah, your brains overwhelmed with with people right there's no room. You don't have room It's like remember the old phones where you can only keep like a hundred contacts The this all the phone it had like one yes fucking little tiny hard drive And once you got over a certain nobody keeps a hundred people on your phone That's funny. Yeah, that was that's all it could take and that's how your brain is your brain doesn't have room for all these people Yeah, so it's not even your fault.

2:03:30It's like your brain's not designed to be famous. No one's brain is designed never thought of it like that That's what it is. That's great. And then when you've done so many things like as many things as you have It's just normal that you're gonna forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah When the pandemic was going on um my kids found out about news radio They didn't know about it because I don't you know talk about your shit. Yeah, well, I don't think they're fucking they don't they're not impressed by me I got the same kids diss me all the time right they're always crack at jokes. I mean, it's fun It's fun.

2:03:59We talk a lot of shit, but it's fun But you know, they watched me on news radio and I watched one of the scenes. I was like I don't even remember this right all oh you had that too right Yeah, I didn't remember it at all. Don't remember being there. Don't remember that room remember now occasionally Kate I'll remember like four or five episodes. Oh, yeah, I remember that one. That was a fun episode. That's funny man But it's weird, you know your brain just doesn't have any room for it's almost like it's a lie like that into that Yeah, oh my god. This is AI that by the way Not one time I've ever looked back at that shit from 30 years ago and go whoa was I good?

2:04:32I'm always like cheese Yeah, what the fuck will you do it? What a fucking horrible performance there Well, then that's probably a good sign. That's a sign of a person who's not egocentric right right right kind of have a good sense of who you are Yeah, yes, I hope so the people that think everything they did is amazing You ever go over someone's house they might want you to watch something that they don't make me do this. Oh, that's a ton of me do So you gotta watch my real no, no, that's a rough. You don't make me watch this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can say it only you don't want this to don't do this man Don't do this.

2:05:06This is for the best. Also. I'll start shit on you. Yeah, yeah, you play that I'm gonna say shit It's gotta be a bizarre feeling to be 23 years old and beyond an iconic tell man I was fucking never More excited to call home and talk to my new hamster buddies and be like it I mean remember all that shit. I said that was gonna happen. It's fucking happening. I don't have to bullshit right now It's really going and then when I would get on the show Say one line whatever it was just like my parents my family my friends just like that was so That was incredible You know, I would play the bus boy or the delivery guy It's just a half a line and it was like holy shit.

2:05:51You did it. You're on TV man. Wow my first TV show Was a showtime at the Apollo I did that that was my first thing I ever did And they fucking sent a limo to pick us up. It was I was I lived in Chelsea How are we then I think I was 18 or 19 I think it was 18 18 that's crazy went on and it was the second episode Ever of showtime at the Apollo the first was rock and rock cursed so much that they didn't use his shit So I was like the first Comedian to be honest. I fucking I forget um Shit the host was uh was a great great guy's in the moon. Yes, that's Melba Moore Oh my god. Yes This one goofy guy terrified I want to know to be here folks me look at that face fucking young dumb Right I don't know what's happening there How painful is this to watch hurts I hit mute hit mute yeah, no I fucking Yeah, I can't say I was very good back then, but I had some fucking confidence.

2:07:13What was the first movie? Uh first movie I did was Pretty awesome. I 22 moved out to LA did stand up at the improv is probably my third time ever I get off stage Uh two or three nice youngsters Director writers came up to me. Hey, that was good. You want to be in a movie? I said yeah For sure they were like okay. We're gonna make a movie. We're Doing a movie on a boat. I said okay when when next week we leave it okay great I said, uh, you know, so I do have a big part they go well you're the star. I go okay cool So I go home. I tell Judd Affittal I was with my all my buddies and Judd comes over and goes What happened?

2:07:54I said that they said I can start and they go what do you he goes do they have a script? I go oh, I don't know I don't I didn't even know they were scripts I knew nothing about it and then I just fucking went on a boat for six days and shot this movie At the time it was called the unsinkable Sheki Mosquits and but now it's called babes of hoi and I was 22 Wow, that was the star of the movie. I was I was Sheki Whoa, I don't know how it happened Milton Burle wasn't it Whoa had a scene had a scene with him so I got to tell my parents. I'm doing great. What was Milton Burle? Very nice. Are you sure everybody is cock it was accidentally seen if I remember that Big hug of his fell out of his shorts and and he had a monster hog very That apparently would show everybody is a hog imagine that about getting to show you dick and being there.

2:08:42Yes. Yes By the way, I was in shape then Yeah, that's Adam. He Look at that. Yeah. Yeah, that's me skinny And that's yeah, yeah, I would get shut down by a girl there and yeah, that's when I was fucking Young and happy 22 years old 22 wow thanks for showing that it's good without volume and then what? I don't know what happened It's been whenever my kids see that shit my like what they're like why did you talk like that? I don't know I was an acting class at at school and I did a scene. I thought I did great and then You know how they open it up to the class to see she wonky because why is he talking like that?

2:09:26And then my head I'm like what the fuck is this guy talking about that? Why did you use that dumb voice? I was like what fucking dumb what but then I watch it back off. Oh that kid was right man Fuck it pathetic. What was the first big movie you did? Um, I was in Bobcat gold weight made a movie called shakes the clown. I remember that That was a great fucking movie. That was exciting. Yeah, that was good That was the alcohol clown movie exactly and bobcat was funny as shit and it and he made me in Blake Clark We were his best friends and That was it. That was the big time. Wow Shakes the clown that movie doesn't get enough love that was big I was like a lot of people like that when you know, it wasn't a massive hit but it was cooler shit.

2:10:09Yeah, it was cool It was a crazy movie. Yeah, yeah, it was like Bobcat stretching his wings. Is this before after police academy? I think I think he did police academy first, right? Yeah. Yeah, wow man. You got every fucking thing ready to go. Julie Brown Down down Julie room. Yeah, wow man. Yes. Yes. Yes. This Bob on the ground or I think it is Bobcat Yeah And Florence Henderson was in it There he is. Yeah, he knew what he was doing Bobcat. He knew it a direct. I didn't even know what he was talking about back then He's like I'm directing I was like well He directed the first episodes of the shepel show Like he did yeah, I was in New York and I was walking down the street and I was doing carolines for the weekend Wow, and I was just walking on the street and I ran into Bobcat and I go hey man.

2:10:58What are you doing? He goes oh, I'm here with Dave shepel. We're doing this show and I ran into Dave and Dave had a fake mustache on I go Dave. What are you doing? He goes oh, hey Joe? You want to be on my TV show? I was like okay What do I got? I got like an hour he goes we're handing out medals for the best New York boobs And so he gives me this box of medals and me and him just walk around with this box of medals This is like 2001 is my thought you look at So funny all I mean you could never do this today You got the best new one. Wow, look at you. Yeah, fucking hey wow And it was just completely random shit.

2:11:39He's just like Dave shepel there too He wasn't coming up with a new guy. He's very yeah He's got his arm on her boobs you can you go to jail for that today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Just bobcat was directing it. That's so funny. Yeah, just complete random running To bobcat in the middle of nowhere. That's cool. Yes, and he was older than us where he was like he knew his shit Well, he was a guy that like you know bobcat had that crazy act early on Yeah, yeah, and he decided he didn't want to do it anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we just do stand up And people like hey, where's bobcat?

2:12:18Yeah, right? Fuck you Yeah, he fucking had he stayed strong with quit. Yeah, he had a seat. Yeah, he did a show in me about a year ago Came out a couple of times I think and fucking murdered. It's a funny guy. Yeah, yeah, he was always a very funny standup Yeah, but he was trapped in that character that he did that screaming crazy pull your hair out character You know, it's like there's guys that have characters like emo philips. Yeah, that's yeah, I love them Yeah, but you can't do that when you're 80. Yes I know I know it's like but I was trying to do that. That's what I'm saying when I was young and I wasn't doing well.

2:12:53I was like I started doing a guy who was drunk on stage. I started doing a guy who was very nervous. I don't know I was I was going for that shit too. Just trying to find it. I didn't know what I'm trying to be comfortable on stage You know, right and that's what you had going on your live show. I was like, whoa shit comfortable Fucking not terrified you you sad in moments not not easy to do. I was in the zone You know how the how about the fact that you got in the zone when there are times When you walk on that stage in these pressure moments you just go I'm here. I'm talking but I'm not here right now My mouth is moving.

2:13:31I don't know where the fuck is going. I'm you didn't have that though Well, I had been through a bunch of those before So I knew never to let that happen when I was out there in the live show And it's also why I was scared of doing it. So I just really over prepared big I made sure that when I got out there. I was just I just said to myself Everything that I'm talking about every time I want to be only thinking about that subject Yeah, I'll let my mind DV8 or go. Oh my god. This is going good. Right. I said shit. Don't fuck up this prep segue. Don't fuck this up You can't think like that you got to I felt like when I'm at my best I'm only thinking about the thing I'm talking about.

2:14:10Yeah, yeah, and then you locked the audience. Yes I think stand up as a form of hypnosis. Yes. Do you think so too? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I get exactly what you're saying you lock them in to the way you're in it When I'm seeing a guy kill on stage. Yeah, I'm locked in to the way they're thinking I'm letting them think for me. I'm just like think for me right, you know It's so funny. Yeah, it's like it's a form of hypnosis And I said the only way that that's going to really work is I have to just be completely dialed in Like I wrote out all my bits. I listened to recordings. I watched videos.

2:14:43I prepared for five hours the day of the show Wow, just watching video. I went to the gym and in the gym. I'm listening to my soul shit Yeah, I'm just like I want to be just Duh. I get that. Yeah, 100 % dialed in. Oh, that's a fucking great feeling. Yeah when you go I know all my shit man because sometimes I'll do a tour then I'll break down for two weeks because I got you know I can't be gone too long and then I go oh shit. I got a gig again Friday and then I listen to the shit Yeah, and then I start going oh yeah, oh yeah, fuck fuck you forget tags. Oh god Yeah, but then that two week break on a tour and then you go back out man You're psych to say that shit again.

2:15:25Oh, yeah, and you come up with other shit to say and yeah But you do have to go over the material your brain doesn't remember anymore No, no, no like your stuff just goes away. What about you with having shit that steps on that the hardest part of doing an hour is Fucking having the 10 minutes up front not hurt the fucking right. It's just so crazy. I got a lot of stuff Yeah, but I did it's been six years since my last special like I said I was thinking about doing a special in august of 2020 Yeah, then the country shut down and then I didn't do stand up for eight months And when I did to stand up again, I remember I had to listen to old recordings.

2:16:00Yeah, luckily I record everything So that's good. I have all my recordings on my phone. So I listened to stuff now I had to write things out, but I remember the first set that I did I did the Houston improv And I hadn't done stand up in forever And I remember when I was on stage, I was like, oh, this is weird I had never in my whole career. I got knee surgery and from my knee surgery I took two weeks off though like the most I'd ever taken off ever And I think one other time I took a month off for some reason I forget why But that was weird too But that was like when I was in the middle of a bunch of other stuff I was just working so much I didn't have any time and then I remember that was Don't do that again because it feels awkward to get back but eight months was crazy Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's feeling Yeah, you forget how to do it.

2:16:46Yeah, but it gets kind of even just two weeks take two weeks and go back on stage again You feel weird like what am I doing? It's all new shit. Yeah, rain again It's also the experience of doing it is weird. Yeah, you know how to do it But it just feels it doesn't feel comfortable. What a fucking odd feeling when you think about Going on stage and just going Yeah, I'm basically telling all you people just watch me for an hour. Right. Just watch me. You're gonna. It's worth your time I know you drove you got babies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is here we go. Yeah, you bought tickets in advance You planned your day out what a psycho over human being could just go me fucking Come look at this.

2:17:25Yeah, you have to be out of your fucking mind or just really prepared Yeah, man, so my my special this one I did Uh, probably two and a half hours of shit and had to cut it. Well, you know, Josh safty and We all had to pick the right the shit we thought was the right shit. Mm -hmm That's but I did have so much shit I'm by the time I did the special I just came off the road And so I just had where you record it We placed in Glendale have a little theater. Oh cool. Hey, yeah, can I I'm sorry to interrupt can I hit it? Can I pee for one yeah, we wrap this up? We've we've done Two hours and 40 minutes.

2:18:06We did yeah, this is we've been in that long. Yeah, we've been in a fucking insane. This is a setup Oh, that's my first my yeah first Netflix. I like the backrop the back to it's just normal Yeah, it's like did you set it up like that or is that just what it looked like back there that that was it That was that theater. I forgot the name of that theater. It's a cool. There's left of the way it looks Yeah, yeah, that actually uh that day was uh, you know Paul Thomas Anderson the great great guy and a great director He he shot that shit. How many people are there in the crowd? Some that one there that's that first special I did like five six years ago that some are like Big ass joints, you know like big arena then some are like 200 300 but the new one the new one was only like I don't know 200 200 people 250.

2:18:55Oh wow It was real small nice That's a great way to do it too because the people that are in the audience yeah, there there's 200 people like so people at home It's gonna be like you're there instead of being in arena. Yes, yes, you feel disconnected. Oh, you can laugh at the jokes But you don't feel like you're there that that's exactly what uh So Josh Safdie he directed it. He wanted it to feel like you getting to hang out with me and Uh, it's kind of like just shit goes on throughout the show that's that wasn't supposed to happen and uh And that's that it shows me before a show during the show and after the show and uh man We had fun.

2:19:35It is a great fucking vibe that place. That was not a comedy club It's just a little theater that they do um these people bought a theater they put on little plays there and shit and then Josh liked it and they made it kind of Feel like a stand -up. That's awesome. And when is it out what day? Uh, the 27th, oh, this is 27th. Yeah. Okay. It's a couple weeks from now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, man I can graduate on yours. Thanks for everything. Thank you. Thanks. Congratulations to you too. My pistol ended the whole thing I appreciate it. All right, right on that. It's amazing you hung in this long Lot of people an hour and a half in this to clamping up.

2:20:08That's good man. I just I just mentally said I got to get past that This is man. Well, thank you brother. I appreciate you. I just being here to see you Joe. Congrats. Thank you Keep up the good work. See you too family. Thank you. All right. Bye