#2196 - Greg Fitzsimmons

24:43So it's smaller. And it's probably because it's smaller. It's not going to have as much effect by wind. It's going to have less to move around. Less mass to move around. They're very fast though. Those bolts are way faster than an arrow. Like an arrow. If you have a really fast bow, your arrows probably going to go between 300 and 340 feet per second. That's normal. That's normal for like a high speed bow. But for a crossbow, what's the fastest crossbow? I bet it's like 500 plus. And then you also have a scope on a crossbow and a trigger. It's much more accurate. You can just put that thing on it.

25:32It's way more accurate at 100 yards. And you can go pop pop pop fast? No, you'd have to reload it. I was just just reload each shot. You have to reload each shot. This one guy who invented a thing for a compound bow, it's kind of crazy. It's like it's all these arrows stacked in. He's got like this device. And you draw it back and you can shoot one arrow after another. 600 feet per second. That's like when you took me shooting. Remember when we went shooting up in the valley? Yes. As that guy's ranch. Yes. And he had a it was a shotgun, but he set it up like an AK -47. So you could go you could shoot a shotgun, but like yeah, tarotactical.

26:16Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, that was the great. You're like that's what I was like. Yeah. I figured we're going to some range with a bunch of you know, yuppies shoot and an isod shirts and flip flops and I walk out and we drive down. I get off the highway, get to a dirt road down the dirt road, get to a fucking dirt driveway. I'm like, where the fuck are we going? And we get to this place and it's Ukrainian chicks in yoga shorts and like crop tops. And they are the most bad as they are. They are fucking master shots. Yeah. And we get down there and what's the guy's name that runs? Yeah. Holy shit.

26:54He taught Kiana Reeves for all the John Wick movies. He taught Hallie Berry when she was in John Wick. He teaches anytime like a celebrity needs to learn how to look like a real assassin. Yeah. They go to that guy. Yeah. These are multiple time champion and and those you know when they do those they have a course and you run the course and you know like deep they time you and you try that guy wins all those fucking. Really? Oh, he's a wizard. Yeah. He's like revered for his is a military guy. No, I don't think so. He's just a psycho. And what about the what about the women? Where do they come from?

27:30I think that's his social media and then a lot of those women are real actual competitors. They do those same sort of competitions. They just happen to be 10. Have you ever seen those gun competitions? No. Well, they're fun to watch. See if you can find one of those where they they run a course. So they time them and you know and it's all about accuracy and speed. But if you're a hot chick and you can get involved in something that's up like primarily male thing. Like what is the the ratio of male gun enthusiasts to female gun enthusiasts? Is it seven to three? Like what do you? Oh, way more. I'm being nice.

28:06Yeah, you're being very nice. So if you're a hot chick in yoga shorts and you're also awesome with a gun. Yeah. Get a lot of attention. No, there's one of the biggest social media accounts is this girl who's a really she's super hot full figure golfer. Of course. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you can get if you're hot in that world, you know, a world of like dopey men. That's a great ploy. It's a good move. Take being one of those women that attracts, like share or bet middler. Little trucks gay guys. Yeah. That's the best draw Chelsea handler. Like they all get all these gay guys showing up.

28:50And they spent money. They got that they got that, you know, no no children money. Yeah. Kicking around in their pockets. Yeah. No children money is real money. Although now they are not now most of children. Do you know that those guys get divorced the least? I love that. Yeah. The ratio is correct me from wrong. With male female, it's like 50%. But it's skewed. It's not really 50%. What it is is a lot of people serial divorces. Okay. So they get married and get divorced, get married and get divorced. Like the amount of people that stay together, it's probably higher than 50%. But there's a bunch of Jennifer Lopez is out there.

29:29Fucking up the curve. You know, as a bunch of people to get like four or five marriages, five, six, seven marriages. This episode is brought to you by Visible. Is your wireless full of stuff you didn't sign up for? Don't need or don't understand. Visible gives you everything you want from wireless and nothing you don't. No confusing plans. No hidden fees. No nonsense. With Visible, you just get unlimited everything. Unlimited data, talk, text and hotspot all powered by Verizon's 5G network plus. They're an all digital wireless service. So you can easily switch within a matter of minutes from your phone, either in their app or online.

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31:18Your first $5 deposit. That's code Rogan. Only Undraft Kings. The Crown is yours. Gambling problem called 1 -800 -Gamberler. In New York, call 877 -8 -Hopen -Y or text -Hopen -Y at 467 -369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling called 888 -8 -789 -7777 or visit ccpg .org. 18 and over in most eligible states, but age varies by jurisdiction. Eligibility restrictions apply. New customers only minimum $5 deposit required. One single used $3 ticket rewarded that expires in 14 days and February 28. See terms at DraftKings .com slash promotions. For other minds, right? Yeah. Then there's lesbians.

32:00That's real high. That's like 70 plus percent. If divorced. Yeah, 70 plus percent. But then there's gay guys. Gay guys. I think it's 26 percent divorce ratio. Yep. Super low. Dude, because you get to hang out with a dude, you can't hang out. I would love to marry you. We would have such a good time. I am so excited. Fun. We'd have fun all the time. It's just like chicken out every time it's time to suck your dick. I go like, sorry, man. I don't like how that thing looks. You'd be like, shit. Your balls. I should have addressed my balls up nice for Greg. Yeah. Gay guys. They're hanging out with guys.

32:39I mean, I joked around about it my special. I wish I was gay. If that's what you liked, you're hanging out with a bunch of guys. Sounds fun. As long as they're not annoying. Because an annoying girl is not as annoying as an annoying guy. An annoying guy's could be real. They can be a real problem. Like aggro annoying guys. Yeah. They're the worst. They're worse than anything. How would you never feel comfortable? Yeah. You're like always in the state of, oh, God. They're always trying to one up everybody. Something could happen here. Yeah. Something stupid. It's got to break a bottle and drink from it.

33:16You know, there's morons out there. Yeah. You annoying guys are dangerous. An annoying girl is usually just annoying. Right. Just an annoying human. They don't have that element of this could be dangerous. That's a good point. Yeah. Especially if they're big. Big drunk guys are scary. Yeah. Take it fucking. They get those go -for -eyes. Their eyes, their pupils go away. They just like a fucking zombie. I wonder what this that's all right. Drunk driving between men and women. I bet it's so much higher with dudes. Just crazy dudes. Because a lot of girls like I can fucking do it. I can fucking do it.

33:52Yeah. You know, but then men are like, I'm not even drunk, bro. Yeah. My dad used to drunk drive. Crazy. He crashed a car into a tree and died and they brought him back to life. You know, the emergency room for weeks. Men are four times more drunk driving. Four times more drunk driving related accidents than women. Drunk male drivers cause 80 % of the drunk driving fatalities documented. Holy shit. 81 % of people arrested for drunk driving were men. Only 19 % were women. How many of those women just had big tits? And they, man, we'll take you home. You live by yourself. Yeah. Cops have a weakness for drunk women.

34:36Oh, yeah. Well, there's some fucking hilarious body cams out there of girls going out to anything. Please, please don't arrest me. I'll do anything. Yeah. What was the one where she goes? She goes, don't you want to help out a pretty woman? Pretty woman. And he goes, well, if I see one, I'll help her out. I never saw that. I didn't see that one. I never know how many of them are real these days. Because I think these days there's a lot of people who fake police interactions and they do stuff for clout. They stage things for clout. They'll make a viral video of like a fake fight. People throwing things at each other all for clout.

35:14I like the one with the father and the son. They always do these big crazy physical stunts where like they destroy the living room and have a fight and they scream at each other. But it's so real. I bought it the first two times. Then I was like, oh, no, they're not fighting this often, this hard. They wouldn't still be living together. Right. But it's so funny. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. You can trick people today. There's a lot of fake stuff going on. You know, yeah, a lot of faking. How many war footage videos were out of people go, that's from a video game. Like what? Well, I guess face is a death.

35:51A lot of those were fake. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of them. The war footage stuff is crazy because that's how good the video games are. Those video games are so good today that you watch, especially if you're looking at it on your phone, right? Like, especially my eyes, my eyes aren't that good. And I'm looking at some fucking jet getting shot down. Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. Look at how high res that is. Who kudos to the camera guy? Really? And then I'm like, oh, it's a video game. You fucking idiot. Well, how much longer until like, you know, the AI nudes are so fucking real. Oh, yeah. And now they're making AI nude videos, not just stills.

36:30Yeah. Well, they can do AI porn for sure. Yeah. I mean, I haven't seen it, but I'm sure it exists because they can do AI scenes with human beings that are indesernable. You cannot tell. It's gone. The Sora, the newest technology. Have you seen it? No. Google that will bring that one up, Jamie, of the Tokyo street. So they have this footage that is all just prompt, right? So they put in a prompt to this AI, like drone footage of Tokyo street while it's snowing. And this video is entirely fake. And it looks exactly like someone flew a drone over Tokyo. The people are moving in random manners. They're moving at different speeds.

37:12They look, they look natural. Look at this. This is all fake, dude. This is so it's even better. So it's even better. Look at that. This is insane. It's look how good the texture looks on the snow. Like on the how it varies. Yeah. I mean, all the people, the fucking, the, it's just wild. Yeah. And this is the stuff that we know about. You know, this is a stuff. I mean, for sure they have some new version of this. They just haven't released to the public yet. Well, and also how it's affecting the entertainment business. Like Tyler Perry just was about to build a billion dollar studio in Atlanta.

37:55It's because no, when he saw that, he canceled the plans. He's like, what? We don't need physical production any longer. It was an 800 million dollar facility was putting down. He saw Sora. That's what he saw. Oh, okay. And they realized like, oh, we don't need any of this anymore. They're not going to need actors either. Right. Which is like part of the strike was that they were trying to own the digital rights to a person like, say, if they paid you, you're a background extra, they don't want to Yeah, they stand and they get shot in a green screen from like eight different angles for a half an hour.

38:32And then they own them for life. This is newer. This is 11 days old. It says it was posted by OpenAI. Jesus Christ, man. They're like, they're all looking at the UFO. This has been anus. This has completely been anus. Yeah. This is all AI generated. Not to mention, the scripts are going to be mostly AI generated. Oh, yeah, 100%. But this, that's the thing I'm saying about this that when they're doing this stuff and like putting this stuff into a prompt, it's easy. It's like instantaneous. Yeah. And so what they were trying to do with these background, like imagine you're a background guy. You know, you just moved to Hollywood.

39:11You know, you want to get work as an actor. So you decide to take a background gig in a movie. You sign this thing up. But then you wind up becoming successful. That's how almost all actors get started. They start as background people or work on the crew. They get auditions. That's Harrison Ford. He was a fucking carpenter, right? But now they have your likeness for the rest of your life. And they could just shove you in a movie. Hey, why is Harrison Ford in that fucking movie? Oh, Harrison Ford was an extra, you know? Yeah. So they don't need to shoot new stuff. They can use old footage of it.

39:45They don't need anything anymore. They could do John Wayne movies, but really sophisticated, like Tarantino, John Wayne movie. Like they could do that right now. Yeah. Like someone in AI using this program, maybe not now, maybe five months from now can make a John Wayne Tarantino film. Like make a Western, but in the style of Quentin Tarantino with the same type of dialogue. Like that Robert Rodriguez would direct with them. Yeah. And put that together. And they can make it in the style of these, they just look at Kill Bill, look at Reservoir Dogs. Okay, we kind of know what he's into. Okay. Bam.

40:26And it's moody. It's dark. There's rain dripping from the ceiling. You're looking at the gun before he shoots the guy. The pupils dilate. The fucking the pores. Guys got a pockmark face from acne scars. I mean, they can do everything man. It looks like a real movie. And a movie is a little easier to do than video. I would think because in a movie, you make the background blurry. So softer. Yeah. That's a weird thing. Like we like films where we they doesn't look real. We like a film where when you're talking everybody in the background's blurry. I don't want to see everybody in the background crystal clear.

41:09No, my real first time, I got a high -deaf TV. It threw me. I was like, this looks fake. Everything looks fake. Yeah, everything was too much in my face. And I think Tarantino still shoots on film. Yeah, I think his films are all done on film. I think the problem with video is it's too good. Yeah, it's too good. Like soap operas. Don't they shoot those on film or in video? They shoot in my video. It's probably cheaper. I'm sure it's video because the editing is so much easier. When you edit film, you have to convert it and then edit it and then you're converted back again. And so when you like I've written on TV shows that were film.

41:46And first of all, you can't do as many takes in a row because you have to change the reels on the cameras. Yeah. So you get to get in, you know, two or three takes and you got to stop down for five minutes and reload.

41:59I'm pretty sure I usually multi camera is when you're in a studio like everybody loves Raymond or something like that. That's usually shot digitally. I think they tried to do it digitally like one episode or something. God, maybe I'm remembering. Maybe it was something else I did. But I remember they were trying to make this transition. But people didn't like the way it looked. There was a video on advertisement the other day with Tom Cruise and someone else. And they were talking about the settings on your television that if you have the settings and your television set from the factory incorrectly, it can make these brilliant films look too much like video.

42:41Because of whatever funky, you know, shit they're doing to make the film the television look clearer and crisper, which is great in most things. But it's not great when you're watching a film that's been sort of designed to get you to focus on specific things and have a background more blurry. Right. Like I remember the first time I saw one of the Star Wars films like like return of the Jedi or one of those. And I saw it on a high resolution big screen TV. I was like, this looks like dog shit. Yeah. The background was so fake. It was like so clearly like a painting of a spaceship in the background.

43:17It looks so corny. But the movies look perfect. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I was going to shoot my special on film. I actually was talking a code act and getting like getting the reels and it ended up it was going to be three times more expensive to shoot it on film. But think about like live at the sunset stripper. Oh yeah. I mean, just it felt like you were in the room. You could smell it and feel it. It's also a time capsule too though, right? Yeah. There's something about that where you like, God, Richard Pryor's like 35 back then. Look at him. You know, look at the crowd. Look at the audience. This is wild.

43:50What was it like back then? Yeah. A man should be in a live back then and sitting in that audience back then. Like fuck. All right. Is there any good footage of Lenny Bruce? There's some lot of black and white stuff. I would love to see that. Yeah. There's a lot of unfortunate footage that was him when he was kind of going crazy at the end of his life. He was just reading from transcripts of his trial. Yeah. Yeah. Did we see those? Yeah. That's bad. They're weird. Yeah. They're weird. Yeah. Because people don't know what they're listening to. Like, why am I listening to this? He became obsessed with his trial.

44:23Trial. You know, they were just, they were putting that guy in jail for doing something we do every night, which is really crazy. Yeah. Really crazy. Yeah. There we go. From 1965. I'm happy alone. Don't you see? I've convinced you. I don't know. I get so dramatic about it. You better off alone, man. I got it. That's it. I'm going to get a whole bunch of new suits. You know, they're the same dumb suit for 10 years. You walk in her closet. You can't even breathe. That's it. I get a whole bunch of suits. I get a chick that likes to hang out. Man, I'm getting a hot pot. That's my hot pot. He's swinging up all of it.

45:07I'll get a chick. I got a chick below us though. I really put her down. No, no, I really miss her. I don't want some sharp chick that can coat caroac and walk with boys. I just want to hear my old lady say, get up and fix the sink. It's still making noise. All alone. All alone. I like the near side of Dog West. The bone. This isn't probably the best example. I don't know why you picked that, but the oldest version of him. I like that fucking suit. Yeah. It is a sharp suit. That is. And all that. You know, it's great. The Dustin Hoffman film. Where he plays him. Yeah. He did a fucking phenomenal job.

46:05He did. He did a fucking phenomenal job. Dustin Hoffman nailed it. He nailed it. It's tough to play a comedian when you're not a comedian. There's something you can't put your finger on about the rhythm of it. Well, you know they're faking it. Well, you know who's not bad as if you see that show Hacks? No. Gene Smart. She's fucking good. Yeah. She's a great actress, but she's she she pulls it off. Well, the lady who did marvelous Mrs. Mazzle. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she pulled it off. Yeah. Yeah. That was Joan Rivers. It's based on basically, right? I don't know. It seems like it's the same time.

46:40I think maybe maybe an influence, but I think it's a pretty unique fictional story of someone who's friends with Lenny Bruce. Hacks is definitely based on Joan Rivers. Oh, really? Because she has a whole QVC line and it's a lot of the same stuff. But then the woman that plays, she's got like this writer who's like her, she writes for her and goes on road with her played by Lorraine Newman's daughter. Oh, wow. I can't remember her name, but she's fucking great. You know, the best conspiracy theory about Joan Rivers is that she was killed because she outed Michelle Obama for being a man. Mitch Mazzle for the marvelous specifically was inspired by real life comedian Joan Rivers, sharing similarities in their upbringing, education, and performing at the Gaslight Cafe in New York.

47:28She nails it though. Yeah. Rachel Braznihan, is that how you say her name? She's so chow. She nails it. She's one. I think she's one at least two Emmys for that show. Yeah, she nails it. The first season, the second season are amazing. Yeah. I trailed off in the third season. I bailed off in the third season also. You know what it got? It got very sticky. It got very Jewish sounding. Well, it's also almost like a Neil Simon play. I want to see the struggle and her trying to make it because it's kind of crazy that this housewife decides to become a comedian. She's actually really talented and kind of wild and crazy.

48:00But then once she starts making a board. Yeah, because now you're in nonsense land. Right. Now she's going to be glamorous or she's doing USO tours like Shothafar. Yeah. You know who's great in that show is Kevin Pollock. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He is great in that. He's one of those guys that just like he could do anything. For a lot of you. I've ever seen his IMDB page. He's like hundreds of rolls. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's played bad guys. Good guys. Yeah. He's a good comic too. Yes. Yeah. It's um, it's hard for people to pull off because you gotta really be doing it because if you're not really doing it, I know you're not really doing it.

48:35Like if it's not really making the audience laugh, like even if you had to do your act and there was a crowd of people that were paid to laugh at your act. So you have to do your act. They've seen you do it over and over and over again. Take five and they do and they have to. I'm going to know you're not connecting with them. I'm going to know they're not connecting with you. You're never really going to be able to do that in a movie. Unless the guy actually does stand up. Yeah. Like if Louis CK was going to do a movie about a comic and he would have to like do stand up and he know he used to do that in Louis, right?

49:06Yeah. And Louis at the beginning of the show, he would do a little stand up. Well they, if he actually did the stand up though, that was actual real stand up. I think Seinfeld too did that. Yeah. He got real audiences. The only way to do it. If you have a movie and you have a bunch of people that are being paid to sit and be audience members, like the whole dynamic is fun. Yeah. It's never going to be real. It has to be. You'd have to just have bringing crowds. Just bringing a bunch of crowds. Like have a comic do it and filming at a theater, film four shows, what are you going to do it? Yeah.

49:40You have to actually do it this way. And you might have to swap out the crowds because you're doing multiple takes. Yeah. Just bringing a new one after two hours. Yeah. Well, instead of doing multiple takes, what you would do is you would just film all the stand up and then splice it into the show or the movie. That's what you would do. That's the only way to do it and make it real. Remember, remember, it was Tom Hanks. Yeah. Yeah. It was Sally Fields. Oh my God. They had lockers at the comedy club. We already had their own lockers. We were like, you and I had just started back then because that was like when that was going on.

50:10And I remember thinking, God, the difference in real life and these fucking movies is so crazy. But it was also when they were doing stand up, it wasn't funny. It wasn't real. There was nothing. It wasn't locked in. You know, no. And he hadn't. And it's always that same storyline every com, which you know, like there's an element of truth to it. But like they're starting out. They've got a stick and then somebody an older person pulls my hand, go, Hey, man, you got to just be yourself. You got to be your own voice. And then all of a sudden they go up with no script, but they just are themselves.

50:43I mean, they did it in Maisel. But it's true. I mean, it is true to a certain extent, but they just had material in Maisel. Yeah. She had a lot of shit that she was on her mind stories. Right. She wanted to tell those stories. Yeah. She thought we're hilarious. Yeah. That's that was a little different, but punchline was just nonsense. Oh my God. But although I heard a story, you remember Lucian Holt from the comic strip? Look at the wall. Wait, there. Oh, that's a Taylor. The locker emotion. Taylor something. He was he was super talented. Yeah. He was a super nice guy too. Yeah. What was his last name?

51:16He died a few years back. Yeah. Yeah. Negron. That's it. That's it. Funny dude. Yeah. Very nice guy came up to the improv one night. We had a cool conversation. But Lucian Holt brought me to his apartment. And Lucian Holt, by the way, I mean, some people he had mixed feelings because anytime you're a club booker, you're going to have a certain number of people that just are not a fan because they didn't get past. Lucian was an amazing guy. He was a curator of Eddie Murphy of Chris Rock. Like he was the guy that brought people through the strip. Adam Sandler. Yeah. And he brought me to his apartment one time.

51:53And he had wall to wall videos back when everything was half inch VHS tapes, walls of everybody's first times. Wow. And so he showed me when Tom Hanks came in for punchline, he only did stand up for like three nights. And he came into this strip and he did it. And I got to be honest. Like he came in and he had some written material. And he fucking did good. And then someone heckled. And he like annihilated them and then got back into the deep material. I was like, fuck this guy. This is him. Oh, is that is that the tape? 1987. Yeah. Party for the love of his son by arm wrestling a bald guy. It's still on his back.

52:35It's the long areas in arm wrestling competition. Are they in tape? Still long? When's the competition by any chance? Is this the most exciting thing to make a movie about arm wrestling? You know, you know, you can bet this bald guy is going to get blown over like this at some point. They're going to have the close up. The hand. The hand. The hand. They're first time. Pretty fucking good. Pretty fucking good. But the pauses. Yeah. The last of the losses. The flashback seat when it's doing something. Pop the party over the top.

53:20See, they should have used that in the movie. Exactly. So that was good. Look rainy. No, no, no, no, it doesn't have to be grainy. But that film film actually doing stand up. Yeah. That's what you should have done. Yeah. So it's not that he sucked. Because right there, he just did it. But he was at flip the top. Nobody does it. He used these goddamn things. It's amazing how many people you give him a Calibri lighter and they just, well, I'm sorry, man, you're covering fire. So if they use that, I would have bought that movie. That would have been a much better movie. How did they not know that?

53:53Yeah. If you're doing a film on stand up, and you're going to have comics, you could just have them doing stand up. Yeah. Actually do stand up. Just get a comedy club. You say, Tom Hanks is going to perform. It's going to sell out. And you say, oh, and ladies and gentlemen, you guys are going to be in a movie. So please do not hackle and have a great show. Right. Oh my god. We're going to be a movie. This is amazing. You'd be extra excited. Oh, happy. Uh -huh. It would have been a great movie. Yeah. But maybe, you know, Sally feels jokes are terrible in that movie. That was awful. I'd see her set.

54:27You know, who wrote all the jokes? Who? Barry Sobel. Did you do it on purposely bad? No, I think they gave me five minutes. I joke. I don't know. But he was in it. He used to kill it. Oh, then. Oh, yeah. When I first started coming to the store, he was one of the big names there. Yeah. He was on MTV a lot. I remember that was the guy from punchline. But it was a quite a while afterwards. Right. So this was like 94. And that movie was like 88. And he was still kind of doing that same kind of character. And that was a weird thing about the store in 94. It's like, you know what a wave hits a shore and then pulls back.

55:04You see like driftwood and shit. Just get stuck on the beach. That was the good. Yeah. Because Kinesan was this wave. And Kinesan and that movement was this wave that washed over comedy and Hollywood. And then Kinesan left the store and then Kinesan died in a car accident. And then I came to store like two years later. And it was like beachwood. You know, it's like fucking driftwood and bottle caps and shit. All right. It's like there was a lot of guys there that should not been doing stand up anymore. They had been doing the same act for 30 years. It was weird. Bode acts guy. Like I was like, this is the comedy store.

55:47Like this is weird. And there was 18 people in the crowd. And then like Dom Arrera would go up or someone legit would show up or Damon Wayans would show up. And you go, oh, there's still some good guys here. There's some good guys here. But it was when Kinesan was around, it was packed because it was like this vibrant energy to comedy and Hollywood. And I missed that wave. God, I wish I could have seen it. Imagine that Robin Williams popping in. Nuts. Fuck. Going to hope he doesn't do my material. Yeah, he was in the crowd one night. I was at the comedy seller and he was in the crowd. Yeah. Just sits for some reason.

56:22He was drunk. He had had a laps and he started heckling me. But like in a playful way. Like he wanted to like, improv, fuck around. Yeah. So I did. I played with him. I couldn't, I don't know where I got it in me. But I was like, shit, not him for being morgue from work. He was laughing. He didn't jump up on the stage, which would have been fucking sweet. But we, and then he hung out after I met him a few times. Fucking sweetest guy in the world. And not at all how he is on stage. Like very sweet, very minimal, calm, very much like interested in you, like asking you questions. Yeah. I met him once at the improv.

56:57And I didn't know I was talking to him until like a couple minutes into our conversation. Oh, shit. So I was, I did a show at the improv, then afterwards I was taking pictures. So I was in the front bar and there's a line of people just taking pictures saying hi to people. And this guy comes up and he said, he said, that was really wonderful. I really, really loved this one bit. And he's talking about this bed. He's like, that bit would like God, the courage to say that. And I'm like, this is Robin Williams. Like, is that a big white beard? And a hat on. And I didn't realize that, well, thank you, man.

57:30I go, I really appreciate it. Thank you. And thank you for coming. I was really wanted to watch your set. It was really fun. Wow. It was cool. But I was like, this is the craziest things he didn't introduce himself. I'm Robin Williams. He waited in line. Nobody noticed that he was in line because he had this big beard, big beard and glasses and a hat on. And he's talking like, I was like, Oh, shit. Super nice guy. Super nice guy. I wish there wasn't that joke stealing thing connected with him. But I think in his defense, I think he was kind of crazy. I don't think he remembered he was doing it.

58:07I think it was just like, it was sticky. Jokes were sticky to him.

58:15And that's a hopeful way of thinking you hope he didn't know he was doing it. It was like, fucking, I'm doing it anyway. I want to make it. He used to steal so much from Rick Overton that he was getting. He would just call his manager and be like, he did it again. And they just cut him a check. But it was like, you know, money doesn't cover it. That's your tool belt. That's taking somebody's it could be the difference to you making it not making it, right? You can have one bit. Like sometimes for a comic, it's one bit the base of an entire career. And you have this one bit. And this bit shows you that with the proper focus and a subject where you're really connected to it, you can come up with a banger.

58:55So I can fuck and you can headline and close with that. And if some guy just does that on TV, they have just hamstring your act. Like you don't have a closer anymore. And maybe you base other stuff on that bit. Like maybe it's like a point you point to it at previous times so that the end part, it's even funnier because it's kind of a callback. I've seen it happen to guys where their career just just tanked. You remember Larry Miller's closing bit on the 10 stages or how many stages of being drunk. He closed with that shit for years and people demanded it because it was just it was an act out.

59:38So you didn't get sick of seeing it. Right. Right. And he honed it over there. I mean, he's such a craftsman. He's such an exacting performer and such a precise writer. And then I saw some guy doing that bit. I was like, dude, I mean, I hate to bring up men's ear, but like it was like that thing with Cosby with the football thing. Like, like, dude, that's like exact. Not only that, it's a legendary bit. Yeah. That's what's crazy. But I think people did things before they understood the internet because they didn't understand that there's going to be real consequences. It's not just some people talking about things.

1:00:15It's a video that shows the bit by Cosby and then you're a bit back to back. Yeah. You could, there's a thing that happened because of the internet where it wasn't a rumor anymore. It was like, you could just see it right in front of your face and go, oh, there's no way. Well, especially when it's more than one bit and they put a compilation together. Sure. Wow. There's also, there's a thing that happens with those guys where you see there's a stark contrast between the material they steal and the material they write themselves. Like the material they write themselves doesn't make any sense. It's like they're doing a caricature of the the guy who is killing with the jokes with that same attitude.

1:00:58But now you have nothing connected to it, but you have all this confidence. But it doesn't make any sense. And when they get caught then they have to do their own stuff. And usually it's a fucking drop off a cliff. Yeah. It's a drop off a cliff. The difference between the early stuff where they weren't stealing or they were stealing rather and the later stuff where they have to write their own stuff. Well, also when you get guys that aren't just taking and not just guys, women obviously, who aren't just taking the jokes, but they're taking the persona. Like how many guys did we see being Bill Hicks back in the day?

1:01:34Well, there was a sign in the green room of the punchline in Atlanta, quit trying to be Hicks. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Somebody the back the back green room of the punchline Atlanta or yeah, Atlanta was awesome because there was a bunch of people that signed the wall. You know, the walls were all signed. And it was like, wow, like I'm going to go to Mitch Hedberg and there's big sign. Somebody wrote quit trying to be Hicks. That's awesome. Yeah. That was a great club in Atlanta punchline. Oh, perfect club. Perfect old wooden club. Perfect club. And it had, they must have done comedy 30 years there.

1:02:07Yeah. They moved to a they moved to a it's funny because it's not as big of a place and it's connected to like a diner, but it's still kind of got the magic of the old punchline. Yeah. That's great. Atlanta, Krazer. We did a nice theater in Atlanta one time. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. That was fun. That was fun. It's shit. Yeah. Atlanta's great. It's great comedy place. Yeah. It's um, you know, it's it sucks. They had to lose that original spot though. The original spot was so perfectly designed. I think it was literally crumbling by the end. Was it? Yeah. I think I was falling apart. It was a tear down.

1:02:41Yeah. And I just like, there's something about old clubs where you really can feel the history. Oh, yeah. Like Zeynes. Zeynes and Nashville. Yeah. Yeah. The punchline. Yeah. It's just going to be a full time comedy. Well, I'm there next week. Yeah. You feel it in the walls. This episode is brought to you by Zippercruder. The hiring process is stressful. There are so many different things to consider. And on top of it all, you need to get it done quickly. It's like when you're trying to find a decent contractor for a home renovation project or even a new primary care doctor. You don't want just anyone.

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1:05:36Yeah. It's like so many people laughed there. So many people have had good times there. It's like burned into the building. And also I think the staff you can tell a great club because you go back year after year and it's the same staff. Yeah. You know you got people that you know it's a waitress that she's been working there 20 years but she's got a day job but she's like fuck that I'm come I'm still coming in on Friday nights because these are my friends you know and I get to see all the comics that I've loved over the years. Yeah. Yeah the all those clubs that and then you go to some of these bigger clubs where they're like a chain and the turnover is fast.

1:06:12Yeah there's a big difference. Yeah. It's also it's like regular job on a restaurant or something like that like a boring. Yeah. That boring when you rather go see comedy yeah fun laugh everybody's drinking. It's a festive environment. Yeah. Even if you're not like listen to the comic if someone's killing you're in the room and someone's killing feels good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I've got some good energy. I know. And it's also my niece moved out to San Diego and I got her a job as a waitress at the comedy store in La Hoia. Oh wow. And so she hit the ground running because like you know you don't know people and all of a sudden she's working with a staff of people that are all fun as shit and they work together and then they all go out for drinks afterwards and and now she's got a real job and she's yes she's still working there one or two nights a week.

1:06:56That comedy store in La Hoia is another one of those places that's a classic room. Classic room. Yeah. Oh yeah. I know quite a few people have done specials there. Well I think the story yeah I think the story is actually setting out to do a bunch of specials down there. They've got great place to go. They've got some good people that they've kind of hired to do a production wing of the store. It's a perfect room. Yeah. Perfect room. Yeah. It's like it's actually even better than the OR because there's less people going in like there's less noise like the OR has the problem with that hallway that hallway sucks.

1:07:28And it's also not LA. So you've got a little bit of a better cross section of people. Yeah. Yeah more fun. Yeah. Less pretense. Yeah. Yeah. That's a problem with LA. Everybody in the audience wants to be on stage. Yeah. Even if they're not fun they wish they were or they could have been maybe that could have been me. Yeah. You know where they it's not like this is Mike. You know Mike has a fucking runs a John Deere factory. Yeah. I want to go out with his wife on the weekend. Yeah. And laugh. That's it. Like a normal guy. Yeah. Just a human. Yeah. Everybody wants it like that whole town is at least poisoned by people that want to be famous.

1:08:12Is at least some aspect of it the radiation from that Chernobyl is in everything in everything that everybody does. There's a certain percentage of bullshit that exists in normal conversations in Hollywood that just doesn't exist in the rest of the country. No, I was just in New York last week and all anybody talks about in New York is they talk about politics in a smart way. They talk about culture. They talk about writers and and then you go back to LA and they just all talk about show. But like even a your doctor your doctor wants to talk about his famous clients and he's got headshots on his walls.

1:08:48Like you're a fucking doctor. Yeah. I don't care that Leonard Nimoy used to come here. Yeah. He's dead. You failed. All headshots. All over the wall. Yeah.

1:09:01It's so strange. My shrink said to me one time. He goes. I was telling him about how I was down. I don't know if you remember this, but I used to do stern a lot and stern. I asked him to write the forwards my book. And do you remember this story? I do remember. Yeah. Yeah. So he basically ran me through the mill and it was it was a bit it was a radio bit. You know, it wasn't mean spirited. But it was a little mean spirited. Well, it came off. It came off way worse than the reality. If it was because he explained to people that don't know what we're talking about. Well, so I asked him to write the forwards to my book and then he he said on the air, there's a million things I'd rather do than sit down and write this for it.

1:09:39And I think that I think that the intent was he didn't want people coming to him and ask him to do things like this or he'd be doing it all the time. So I asked him to do it and he just starts busting my balls and calling me at home and saying, I don't want to do this. And blah blah. So I go to my shrink and I'm talking about I've depression. So that's it for a second. And he says to me, he goes, it's so weird. I have a he should never fucking tell me this. He goes, I have a patient that came in and he said, he's having a hard time lately. And I said, well, what's going on? And he goes, well, my boss at work is a fucking douche.

1:10:14My wife keeps telling me that I'm not, you know, emotional enough. And then there's this guy named Greg Fitzsimmons on the Howard Stern show. And they're just torturing him. It's just so, and I go, you shouldn't fucking tell me that. Oh my god. He shouldn't have told you that. And now you're walking to the streets thinking everybody's stairs. He's like, that fucking loser. Yeah. Look at him. That's the problem with having that kind of a platform. Uh -huh. But, uh, but I'm better now. My depression has never been better. What'd you do different? I got way more disciplined about working out. You can probably see it.

1:10:56Look at that. Guns. All right. Guns. I'm doing yoga. I'm doing. Um, well, they say that that is 1 .25 times more effective than SSRI. Yeah. Regular exercise. Yeah. Regular exercise. I meditate just meditated before I came here every day. I think that's 90 % of what's wrong with people. I know that it's such a meathead perspective. But I think everybody should do something physical. I think we have requirements. I know you don't want to do it. But I think we have requirements, just like you have to brush your teeth, just like you have to eat food, just like take vitamins. I think we have requirements.

1:11:34I think you have requirements to move or it fucks with your head. And Jim class used to be in 10 said school. Oh, yeah. Used to have a fucking locker and shower after third period because they just made you run like an army obstacle course and do pushups and jumping jacks. We played dodgeball. Yeah. Yeah. We grew up with dodgeball, which was crazy. You were whipping balls into people's faces. Yeah. Your heart was racing. Yeah. Dude, and you're chasing people with a ball. And if you catch some kid who fucking stumbles, he's getting it right in the face. Right? That game was going. And the girls went yes.

1:12:13That's horrible. Yeah. You see the big red welt on the side of the leg. Yeah. The Irish girl with the pale skin gets fucking packed. It was horrible. It was horrible. I got varicose veins on her neck to this day. Yeah. There's some people that were really good at throwing that fucking dodgeball too. That shit was terrifying. Yeah. Those kids with the long arms. And they got rid of that. Yeah. They got rid of that. But did we used to run laps? Oh, yeah. It's the fucking run laps. And then you felt good. You went back to class. I taught my kids. Their gym classes weren't shit. They didn't have to do anything.

1:12:43The hardest thing I ever did when I was a kid was wrestling. I did one year of wrestling. And it was, but I couldn't do both that and Taikwondo at the same time. It was just too much. And I had to make a decision. And so I picked Taikwondo mostly because it's easier. Yeah. It was way easier. Right. The training for wrestling was so hard that I would be like in school. I'd go, my brain was like half on. I was just thinking, oh my god, we're going to have to run stairs tonight. Right. Oh my god. We're going to have to do live drills. Yeah. Fucking firemen's carry carry each other up the fucking stadium stairs.

1:13:20There's no tougher training. Man, wrestling is brutal. But my son, he was having trouble when he was in, and I can now preschool. He was biting kids. He was like crazy. And so the teacher said, there's this place called Marina Taikwondo in Venice, great program for kids. So he started in preschool and he went all the way through eighth grade. He got his black belt, his junior black belt. And it changed him. Fucking changed. And he became disciplined. It calmed him down. Yeah. Just to go like three or four days a week. Yeah. I think it sounds crazy. But I think it's a requirement for kids to do something physical and really would help if he did something scary, like a martial art.

1:14:00It's just good for developing your brain and developing your ability to do difficult things. When he got his black, I don't know if they always do this, but when he got his black belt, they had to do, you know, certain, what do they call them? Codas. It depends on the codas of Japanese world. Yeah. He was, I think, he did just codas and then he had to break some boards and then he had to do whatever. And then he had to fight two black belts, like at the same time. And he had to go like three rounds at the same time. They fucking sicked them on him. And Mr. Jonah Keith Jones shout out. And it was tough.

1:14:36And they came at any start of crying. And Mr. Jones sat him down and he goes, you're going to get back in there. You're going to finish this. And he went in and he wiped his tears and he fucking finished. And then he got his black belt. Yeah. How old was it? We starting kindergarten. This would have been in like, I don't know, six or seventh grade. It's kind of crazy to give a kid a black belt. Yeah. Little kids. Yeah. Because it's not real. Yeah. You know, it's like different schools have different requirements and different belief systems when it comes to that. But somewhere along the line, that's where karate places.

1:15:16It was in a strip. That would they would graduate children all the way up to black belt. And they would also they made it real easy for you to do it where you didn't spar. And they do started doing a bunch of stuff to make it less realistic, but less attrition. So less people quit. And so they make more money. And so like some of these schools that have hundreds and hundreds of students, they'd be making bank. And then there was like, there was like a place called Fred Valaris when I was living in Boston. And Fred Valaris was a karate. It was a chain. They were all over the place. But the people that came out of there, if they had to fight, they'd be maybe some of them will be good.

1:15:59But it's not the best place to learn. It's a big dojo. Yeah. You know, it's a good taught your karate. But yeah, you got to do it in a real place. You got to do it in a fucking real place with real savages. Yeah. It's the only way you're going to get good at it. Right. You got to get to a real scary place where there's a bunch of people and they're fucking sweating and kicking the bag. And you got to, that's where you got to go. But I do think there is something to giving a kid a goal. Yes. Like you're going to get your blue belt trained for that. You're going to get your red belt. Junior black belt's not a bad thing to call it.

1:16:30As long as you're calling it a junior black belt. Yeah. So like you're not a man yet. You don't really have the ability to hurt people. You know, most people don't really have the ability to hurt people until like 15, 16, 17. Then you can really hurt people. And it comes quick. It goes from you being a boy. Right. When you're 12 years old, you are a boy. When I was 15, I was fighting men. So from 12 to 15. Yeah. So when I was 15, my instructor was crazy. And he would, he would put you in like, you were young teenagers. He would put you in tournaments in men's tournaments. 18 and over. Yeah. Just say you're 18.

1:17:08They just put you right in there. Oh my god. It was terrifying. Wow. Terrifying. So you go from not being able to hurt people to knocking grown men on conscious. In a short period of time. The first time I knocked a grown man on conscious, I was 16 years old. I had kicked this dude. Knocked him unconscious. And I was like, this is crazy. Was that legal? Yes. 100 % yeah. It was full contact. He was snoring. And I was like, this is nuts. And I was 16. Yeah. I was like, this is great. So that's like a real black. I was a black belt when I was 17. Uh -huh. But it was a real black belt. I was fighting black belts.

1:17:45I can hurt you. You can't really hurt anybody when you're 12. Yeah. But that's what's so nuts. In five years, you become a fucking machine in five years, five years ago. But I've been here for four years. I've been living here for four years. Nothing's changed. I'm exactly the same person. But from 12 to 17, you're a different fucking human being. Yeah. And also when the fear of being physically hurt is driving you to push yourself to be better. Yes. That's real. Yes. Yeah. Well, it's also, you don't have your responsibilities. You have nothing to do. You have hormones for the first time in your life.

1:18:22So you have all this fucking energy and this fucking, and you're your whole day, you can just dedicate to this crazy thing and go around kicking people and learning something and getting better at something. Where everybody else is to listen in the lead Zeppelin, smoking cigarettes and trying to figure out if they're going to go to college. And you're out there doing something nuts. Yeah. My, uh, my nephew, Rowan, he grew up in South Africa. And he was like, you know, had every letter, 80 HD, whatever, he had it all. And he was, uh, he was the number one most, he got the record of his school for the most, uh, detentions.

1:18:58They kept track and they like gave him an award. And then he found rugby when he was like 14. He started doing rugby hard. And he's a big thick kid. And he became an animal and it's straightened him out. He's right now. He's a Columbia University. He was, he was in the Navy. He went up for the, uh, Green Berets. They know the Navy seals. Have you seen him? He just missed it. He was, he made it all the way to Hell Week and then got dropped from the program. That's crazy. But because he was in the Navy, they gave him a full ride to Columbia. They pay him, they pay him to go to school at Columbia.

1:19:31I guess it's the GI Bill. So what they call it? Probably something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think putting a kid who's got some, because you get anger when you, when you have all these learning disabilities, you get very angry. Oh, yeah. You know, because you're not fitting in. You're not doing as well. You're trying your hardest and you're coming up short and you get fucking angry and you need something to focus that on. I think all kids need something to focus. Yeah. They just need something. It's too easy to just be lazy and boo. My life is terrible. Yeah. Because you're not doing anything.

1:20:03You're not getting excited. You do stuff. Like how many kids were depressed in the 1920s? They're only depressed if they were starving. They were running around. I think the whole country was depressed. It was the depression. That exactly. Oh, there was the 30s. Yeah. Let's go with the teens. What the 30s was the depression, right? So the roaring 20s was before the depression. Everything was going pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good. But they were ruthless. Yeah. We call bullying. It was like normal life. That's everybody was fucking horrible to each other. Well, because they were recent immigrants and they were fighting for turf.

1:20:36They were fighting for jobs. The Irish and the Italians were fucking fighting each other. They were fighting food. Yeah. Yeah. They were exactly sure they were going to get food. And they had 11 brothers and sisters. So they were fighting at home before they even left the house. Yeah. And good luck getting something that has a vitamin in the winter. Everybody's malnourished. They were horribly malnourished. If you lived in this city in the 1920s and it was fucking 30 below zero out, there's nothing coming in or out. You ain't getting note tomatoes. Where are those coming from? You're going to get a horse to drag those from New Jersey.

1:21:07What are you talking about? Yeah. There's no food here. Cabbage. That was your only vegetable. You got canned food. You ate canned food for six months. Back to before shipping. Just think how nuts it must have been to live in a city before there were any trucks. You had the ice man. Every couple days an ice man would come to your house and put it in your box. That's what the ice house in Pasadena was. Oh no shit. Yes. Wow. Before the ice house was a rock and roll club, I think it was a briefly a rock and roll club then it came a comedy club. It is the oldest running comedy club in the country.

1:21:42Oh I didn't know that. Yeah. The ice house is the oldest. And the ice house before it was any of those things was a place that would store giant blocks of ice. So you go and get a chunk of ice. They would take some ice from fucking Greenland or some shit. They weren't even making it. How did they even keep that thing cold and they got it to America. The chunks of ice and they would get it to the cities. Yeah. You can get it in the July. They get you a chunk of ice. How? The ice man. How much lost did they have in ice? How big does ice have to be when you start? And how heavy is that shit to shit my over?

1:22:20Oh god. If you got a truck, fill with ice. Okay. Like what year did they start bringing ice around? Let's find that out. Yeah. Like what year did that become a thing? Because you know it wasn't a thing. Like during the pioneers days, there wasn't an ice truck that would show up. There's no way to get the fucking ice. You know when those people were trying to make their way across their country, no ice. I'm gonna guess 1890. I think it's got to be after trucks. I think it has to be because you got to get it around. He can't just put it on a train. When the trucks start. 1821. Watching Peaky Blinders.

1:22:59And as the years go on, their cars get better. Yeah. It's interesting. You know because it's kind of historically accurate in terms of the cars they were driving at the time. It's really interesting because in the beginning they just were like a bikini top over this shit box little fucking little rattle machine. Yeah. But at the end they have like bent leaves. Yeah. And they closed the door and it's luxurious inside. Yeah. But I would say trucking probably early 1900s. I want to say like 1910. So what year was the first ice delivery in which country? In America. When did they start delivering ice?

1:23:36Scandinavia. They brought the practice over from England because it says it started in England in the 1600s. Right. Right. But I'm saying when were they able to do it in America? Because you know even if they do it in England in the 1600s you probably get a a fucking cart dragged by horses from the mountain. Like how far away is their ice? It sounds like they grabbed it from lakes here. In America? Yeah. It says it was a major part of the early economy in England and the United States. Saw fortunes made by people who transported ice and straw pack ships to the southern states and throughout the Caribbean.

1:24:13Oh so they only did it in the winter? I guess. Yeah you just get it from Canada. Well now long and keep ice. If you have like a Yeti cooler you can keep ice for about seven days. Yeah. And that's it. And the summer. It's pretty amazing. Can I try to book about the history of ice? Because those big thick -ass coolers like a Yeti cooler that you would take camping. Yeah. You can get those are amazing. You can keep ice for seven, eight, nine days which is nuts. And if you take a Yeti and you take like a milk jug fill with water and freeze that and put a bunch of them in there it'll stay cold forever.

1:24:46It'll stay cold for so long. It got large block of ice like that. This is it from the seventies but this is just like ice extraction. Oh this might not be them selling ice. This looks like these guys are going to die. Yeah. They got axes on the edge of the water. It does not see that thing. Take your ice and you put it in a nice box which ice box used in cafes of Paris in the late 1800s. Wow. So how did they get the ice to them? Well this is the first recorded use of refrigeration technology dates back to 1775 BC in the Sumerian city of Turquoise. That's why I switch country because this goes back further than England.

1:25:25It goes all the way back to yeah seven same same time. Same time. It's off by four. Well this is the same story because that's cuneiform. That's that's exactly the same story. This is it's Mesopotamia. The same country. Ice pits. Ice pits from the seventh century BCE. Wow. The great store snow and pits that they dug for that purpose. Wow. Oh. Oh. From the mountain. Straw covered pit so they they recognize that they could kind of insulate it. You sell it at a snow shop. Wow. Ice that formed the bottom of the pit sold at a higher price than the snow on top. Oh yeah more expensive for ice. Because they didn't have piss in it.

1:26:04That's the delineating factor. How many guys pissed in that pit? At least one. Yeah. The French has served up some chocolate ice cream. Did you mean this to be chocolate? At least one guy pissed in there. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. There's not a chance in hell nobody pissed in there. Right. Not a chance in hell. Do you eat snow? Like when you go out hunting in the you can eat snow. I mean you're going to have a certain amount of pollution depending on where you are. You're eating. You're eating what's in the air. It's amazing how bad it gets in New York and the winter how fast that shit falls in an hour later.

1:26:41It's gray. Well there's in New York you have a lot of things going on and one of the things that people don't take in consideration is brake dust. You have a lot of brake dust. So if all these cars that are constantly doing stop and go traffic. So the brake dust in the air is it's pretty significant. That's shit that you get in the inside of your wheels. Your car wheels and you have to clean off that black stuff. Yeah. That's brake dust. So that's spraying out from every car in the 405. So like when you're riding your bike I'm going to have to. You're like literally breathing in brake dust. You fucking psychopath.

1:27:11Yeah. You're just no filter taking it right in the face. Looks like is that Central Park or something close to it says it was the first one in the United States. The first ice pit ice pit. What was that 13 feet in diameter and 18 feet deep many times of ice were cut from a nearby river in the winter transported by wagon to the ice house deposited into the ice pits. The blocks of ice fused into one giant mass gravel at the bottom of the pit drained water from the melting in the thick stone walls and straw insulation minimize heat loss from the ice house above. Morris claimed he was able to preserve ice from one winter to the following October or November.

1:27:48Wow. That's crazy. So utilizing the 54 degree constant temperature underground people have been storing ice and caves and pits since at least the Roman times. That's pretty dope. Oh look at this. It relied on a natural phenomenon but also an overwhelming massive ice good drainage and the super insulation of the building above the ice pit to provide refrigeration through hot Philadelphia summers. Pretty fucking dope. 16 feet deep and they would just store ice and that's how you get your ice for nine months. That's pretty amazing. Yeah. People are pretty goddamn ingenious. You know human beings ingenuity to figure things out.

1:28:32How do we keep this fucking ice when it gets hot or shit out. Imagine if we can keep the ice. What do we got to do? Yeah. How about dig a hole? How cold is it down there? Seems colder down there. It's just experimenting. How long you can keep ice? You're putting massive blocks of it from the river and stacking it and then you're going to sell it. All these experiments. People are dying. Well that didn't work. Everybody died. A nice whiskey with a couple of ice cubes in the middle of July. You know with your friends at the country club. You know how they get this? I got a guy. Maybe that's why they call it on the rocks because it's surrounded by rocks in the pit.

1:29:12No. Nothing in ice cubes are like rocks, right? Well there's a lot of schools of thought on this.

1:29:21Isn't it funny when you go to some restaurants they give you a hot rock you cook yourself on. What? Ooh, it's exciting. You never done that? No. No? A hot rock? Yeah. Yeah. They like they'll give you like a it'll literally be a hot rock that you can't touch and then you have little strips of steak and you lay them on rock. I like a Korean barbecue place. Like Wagyu. They'll do it at a sushi places. Yeah. Where they give you a hot rock and you put your little strips of I love it. Of beef on there and you flip it over. Yeah. Isn't it exciting that you're cooking for yourself? Yeah. And yeah it's super expensive.

1:29:52I know. And then they make you clear your own plate and go in the fucking kitchen and wash it. No, they don't. No. You made that part up. But it is funny that it's exotic to cook your own food. Like how can't you do that? Yeah. Right. That's what I'm here for. Yeah. Why am I cooking? I remember there was a side -feld episode was Kreme where he's pitching a pizza place where you make your own pizza and he had a friend invest and the guy had a restaurant he went out of business. Korean barbecue is fun though. Yeah, I like Korean barbecue. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. But you know what you're getting into when you get there.

1:30:24It's not one dish that you have to cook for yourself. Yeah. So experience. That's fun. Yeah. I know what I'm getting into. But if I go to a restaurant and you give me a hot rock and like here's your meat. That's the hot rock. Cook it on the rock. What the fuck are we doing here? But people love it. Like you don't kick in my cell. I'll flip it now. Yeah. When do I flip it? Yeah. And then you got to go to the salad bar. I got to I got a walk to get my salad. Well, that's Brazilian steak houses. That's the sneaky move they have is all you can eat. Everything's all you can eat. But the salad bar is too.

1:30:58So before you eat, you go to the salad bar and you're eating fucking art show cards and cheese and this. And then they come by with as much meat as you possibly can eat. And then you have a card. You flip it. If it's green on top, they keep coming by with you for meat. And when it's ready, you tap out. Yeah, I remember that. We went to one of those places in Vegas. Was it Folkwood? Yeah. Folkwood a shout. Yeah. Yeah. That was the best. Yeah. Cause you just start eating. Like you don't have to wait for the food. The worst is when you're really hungry and you're in a slow restaurant. You're like, Oh my god.

1:31:29This is killing me. Yeah. But if you go to a place like Folkwood a child, that food's coming right after you can be stuffed in 10 minutes. 10 minutes. Yeah. That's when you got to take a little walk. Yeah. I've never seen anybody go harder than Ari at Folkwood a child. It is insane. How much you eat there? Yeah. Insane. And I go, why? He goes to get to Jewish thing free food. I go, you serious? Yeah. It's all I can eat. I can eat. I go, you're kidding. He's like, No, no kidding. I can keep eating. Doesn't cost any more money.

1:32:06That's awesome. He's so funny with it. But he's like, he's shameless. Yeah. Shameless. What are the people that you want to keep up with them? I could not keep up with them. I was in South Africa one time and we were at the at a game park called Pilanesburg or something and they had a restaurant next to the game park and you would go there and I remember it was called Carnivore and you go in and they come over with skewers but it was like, you want some giraffe? You want some hippo? You want some buck. Everything. I tried everything. What was giraffe? Giraffe is a tough one because they seem to not want to fuck with anybody.

1:32:48They're cool. Your baby could feed them at the zoo. You know? Yeah. It's the only animal to zoo. Yeah. It's a giant of fucking animals. 50 feet tall and you're two -year -old baby. Yeah. Can give it lettuce and the little tongue comes out or wraps around and takes the lettuce and no one's worried about the giraffe doing anything harmful to people. That's a weird one to eat. Like if I could avoid eating a giraffe I would like to. Yeah. And how are they not dead? I mean, they how do they protect themselves? Well, they stop things first of all because they're like a wild horse. It's like a giant antelope thing.

1:33:26Like what species is a giraffe? Like technically, what is it? Is it an antelope? Like what is it? You know like a moose is in the deer family. Moose is the largest of the deer family. It's like elkas in the deer family. Giraffe is a large African hoofed mammal belonging to the giraffe. Genus giraffe. The tallest living terrestrial animal and the largest ruminant on earth. Traditionally, giraffe's have been thought of as one species. Giraffe camaloparalus. Camel. So is a camel related to it is right? That's what I remember. I think it is related. Is a camel related? Just set it is. What is a camel related to a giraffe?

1:34:17What do you think? I think they probably are. Yeah.

1:34:24Okay. Giraffe camaloparalus. No. Camelopar dalus. Camelopar dalus. Oh, fuck that last word. How does that one go? Typhus. Giraffes get part of their Latin name. Camelopar dalus from the long camel like necks and leopard -like spots but they are more closely related to ocapies rather than camels or leopards. So they're not related to camels? Oh, look at that fucking thing. We've seen those before. It's like a zebra fucked a deer or something. Doesn't it? It's like the bottom half is one animal and the top half is another animal. Beautiful though. I don't know how you mix. How do you mix with a giraffe because how do you fuck it?

1:35:16Well, you're another giraffe. Yeah. That's why they don't mix. Giraffes do the fucking. Yeah. I don't think anybody fucks the giraffe. The giraffe has to do the fucking. It's to decide. It's going to get down there. That's right. Yeah. You know, trees like the Akasha tree when giraffes eat them, all the trees that are downwind recognize that a tree upwind is being eaten by giraffes and so it changes its flavor profile. It starts releasing these phytochemicals. It makes it taste like shit. No shit. Yeah. It says an antelope that closest living relative to a giraffe. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Ait Sleep.

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1:37:21It's literally an animal that was a part of the giant group of animals that lived in North America like 65 ,000 years ago, but it's one of the rare ones that still here because it evolved to get away from a North American cheetah. So it runs way faster than anything. Nothing can catch those things. You ever seen them? Pronghorn? They're cool. It's shit looking. But you can see them when you, be it, that's not a good picture though. You want like a picture of the males. Just pull up pronghorn antelope. The males have these crazy horns and these eyes that can see like probably almost to the entire back of like behind their ears.

1:38:06They have a crazy range of vision. Yeah, it's like a deer size. I've seen them in the wild. They're really cool. Look at them. You don't have to fall. Really cool looking. But when you see them run, you realize like, oh, this is not from around here. They run so much faster than anything else. So like mountain lions, coyotes, good luck, bitch. You're not catching that guy. That guy's fucking insanely fast. See if you can find a video of one running. So it says born to race cheetahs. So there was like 65 % of North American megafauna was killed off somewhere around 10 ,000 years ago. And these motherfuckers made it.

1:38:51But they're a part of that old group that included like the North American lion, North American cheetahs. There was a bunch of crazy shit that was here just, you know, 15 ,000 years ago. Crazy shit, dude. There was a lion that lived here that's bigger than the African lion. Like the biggest lion ever was in North America. No shit. Yeah, we had a crazy big lion here. Wow. That's pretty, that's though, right? If you think about all the buffalo, you'd probably like, there'd probably be a cat big enough to kill that thing. Yeah. You know, some giant ass lion, all right, way bigger than the African lions.

1:39:25Yeah. I just saw a video on the internet of sloths having sex. How was it? Well, it was as exciting as you would think. It was like, first of all, like the mating call, like the female was like a mile away. And it was like this little, like this little no, and he just perks up. He goes racing down the tree, which takes like a day. And then he has to go through these like crock infested waters. And he just keeps here in the know. He keeps going. And he gets the other side and he climbs up the tree. There's another male. They like go to battle. There's like a sloth battle with their three little claws.

1:40:04And then the guy gets to the top. And he and the females there. And he gets on top of her. And it's just like one stroke. Did goosh done. That was the whole thing. Wow. Like think about how horny those fuckers are. Like like the average married couple. Like what does it take to get laid? You just, you just got to listen to your wife for a little while. Yeah, how is your day? Yeah. And just listen and you're in. And even then man, I'm like, that's just it's a lot to ask. But just imagine having this strange urge to go where that sound is and not having any reference. Like the first time it happens to, right?

1:40:47Say your sloth, your two, you get your first heart on, like this is crazy. And then you hear, yeah, why do I need to go towards that sound? Like you don't even know what you're doing. If no idea why you're going there. Yeah. Right? If the sloth has never been laid before, it has no idea. Yeah. Why am I being drawn to this sound? Why is this smell? It's all just instincts. And that's the noise. Yeah. He's like, I'm getting some. Is that all the sloth? Or was that one sound the sloth?

1:41:27Oh, there it is. Oh, that's pretty loud. Yeah. That's a bad signal for dick. Yeah. And then, but the amazing thing is like when you think about that, what drives animals, us being animals to do the things we'd, I was thinking about this when I watched this sloth thing, like all the things that gratify us, that nature has taught us to procreate in order to, you know, whether it's eat your stomach hurts and the joy of the taste of food. All these things that are built into us as animals that keep us procreating, the fucking, even like, like you got an itch and you take your nails and you scratch it.

1:42:05Well, there was probably a reason because there used to be bugs embedded in your skin or dry skin or like everything that that we do is somehow built into rewards and punishments that are unconscious to us. Yeah. You know, and are they going to be able to proc, can you program that into people eventually? Yeah. All their behavior. Not just that to eliminate all the things that make us human, unfortunately. Like you want the good with the bad or do you, what do you want? Like because the only way to have the goods got appreciate that it's good and how do you appreciate it? Because you've experienced bad.

1:42:47If you only get good, you get a spoiled rich kid and they're a nightmare or you get joffrey the king, you know, that's what you get. Yeah. Right? Yeah. No adversity, all the power in the world. Terrible for everybody. Right? So it's like you got to have some down. It's like it's a part of the program. It's part of the program of becoming a better person. Like you have experience, good and eat. I think even in the world, unfortunately, we have to see evil to recognize that people are capable of evil to really understand what kind of game are we playing here, especially when it comes to like international conflicts, especially ones that don't have any day to day effect on your life here in America, whether you support them or you don't support them.

1:43:29Like you're, it's not affecting you, right? But it's effect. It's somewhere. If you were there, if you were in Yemen and you watched those fucking drones launch hellfire missiles into this wedding party, like you would recognize like there's a lot going on that's evil. There's good and there's evil and it's real and there's this weird battle going on with human beings. And I think that battle almost has to take place to motivate people to be better. You think that's where there's war, cyclical war? There's no reason why it should exist today. There's no reason why as educated as we are in history, that we should be willing as a people, as groups of people to ever invade other places to steal their resources.

1:44:18There's no way we should be doing that. At this point, with the kind of communication that human beings have with each other around the world, there should be a way to reasonably communicate and share goods and ideas and compete and take part in each other's commerce. I sell to you, you sell to me, everybody gets along. This should be totally doable in 2024. The fact that it's not and that no one thinks it's ever going to be is what's terrifying about being a person. Because that's the thing that keeps you up at night. One of these fucking assholes, one of these greedy cock suckers that's under the boot of the military industrial complex, decides to push it a little far and someone decides to shoot a nuke off.

1:45:05Then we're in this new thing where cities could just disappear. It's not just a September 11th where two buildings disappear and a bunch of people died and it's a horrible tragedy. No, no, the whole city gone. Boom. One city down. Now, shut the fuck up or we'll bomb all your cities. Now, your power doesn't work anymore. Oh no, where do you get your ice? Well, you better go back to the old ways and get a fucking ice pit because you don't know what's not hard to do. Someone could take out our electrical grid pretty fucking easy. And these assholes that are in charge of the world in all countries that are still playing this fucking game of maybe we'll kill you all.

1:45:46Yeah, it's like a big game of chicken and there's no like when we were kids, I don't know if this is having your school, but like we had drills. We had nuclear war drills. It was a day -to -day existential worry that people didn't sleep because of nukes. Those same fucking nukes are tenfold today in terms of the arsenals. And way more people have them. Way more countries have them. And there's way more, when you look at what's going on in the Middle East, like that is a fucking that that is going to explode at some point and it's going to happen fast because there's all these alliances where if one country does it, eight others are going to do it the same day.

1:46:24Peter Tia was talking about that. That is the ultimate dilemma when it comes to nuclear power because nuclear power is more efficient than other power and it's actually greener. It's probably safer for the environment, especially with the kind of nuclear reactors that capable of building and designing today. But they didn't realize that if you give someone nuclear power, it's really easy to turn that into nuclear weapons. They thought it was a lot harder than it was and they did it for India. New saying then they realized like India got the nuclear weapon. That's like go. Okay, so now we can't just give everybody nuclear power because then you have everybody has nuclear weapons and what if it's some fucking warlord who's on infetimates in the middle of the Congo and decides he's going to nuke his neighbor.

1:47:04Yeah. People can get crazy. Yeah, especially if they have a lot of money, you know, they're selling drugs or they're kidnapping people, whatever they're doing, they got a lot of money and now they have a nuclear weapon. North Korea, man, once North Korea is a fucking do they? Yes, North Korea has no shit. Oh, they don't have the long range delivery system. They say they do now. Yeah, who knows. But there was a famous nuclear bomb that went off that they kind of denied in North Korea a while back. What was that? They think it might have been an accident. It's hard to tell, you know, because North Korea is pretty tight with the propaganda.

1:47:44But I remember there was some nuclear detonation was detected in the mountains and they were trying to figure out if it was on purpose or if it was an underground thing like because they do underground nukes too, which is crazy. Yeah, just may trigger a earthquake, but let's find out. Yeah, let's just detonate a nuke a mile under the surface of the earth. Fucking psychopath. Well, we did it in Oklahoma and I guess it was like maybe the 50s or 60s. Yeah, and they the the fucking they didn't they didn't tell people to leave the neighboring towns and there's all these people. The cancer rates were through the roof.

1:48:19Here says, um, okay, comprehensive test band treaty has been detected seismic activity in more than two dozen stations around the world confirming that manmade explosions have occurred near North Korea's nuclear testing sites. For example, in 2016 the CTBTO detected a 4 .85 magnitude seismic event which North Korea claimed was a hydrogen bomb test. In 2013 the CTBTO detected a 4 .9 magnitude seismic event, which is about twice as large as the 2006 test. So they just keep making them more powerful. Well, what magnitude was like Hiroshima? Oh, look at this one. In 2024, South Korea's weather agency estimated that a nuclear weapon blast yield was between 50 and 60 kilotons based on a magnitude 5 .6 detection.

1:49:11The South Korea's government initial estimate was 100 kilotons and the NORSAR seismology center estimate was 120 kilotons. It's so crazy that a not a crazy person just some fucking maniac dictator has that. Like you can you could take oh you fuck my cousin guess what? Yeah, I'm gonna nuke your town. Or they want a legacy. Hiroshima is only about 15 kilotons. So four times. Nagasaki is 25. Holy shit. Isn't it funny that Hiroshima gets all the credit? But meanwhile they got the bitch ass bomb. That's right. One was an atomic and one was a hydrogen, right? I don't know. Is that the truth? I think so.

1:50:00The little boy. Is that the big one? Is that the one that was on Hiroshima? So little boy was Hiroshima and fat man was Nagasaki. Wow. Imagine you get your fucking your instructions. You're a fighter pilot and that's what they tell you. Yeah. That's what you're gonna do today. Right. What are we doing? You're gonna be the guy. What do you mean? You're gonna be the guy that drops the bomb. Yeah. What bomb? We have a nuclear bomb. Yeah. What does that mean? Like what does this thing do? Well, you're gonna drop it and then you gotta get the fuck out of there. Right. Right. Because the explosion. Don't look back as it'll rip your eyeballs out.

1:50:41Exposure. That might be my team mug that you just grabbed. Oh, was it that? I think sorry. I just poured coffee in it. I'm sorry. No, I'm done with it. I'm onto coffee now. There's too many mugs I'm not confused. I was not seeing my mug because the microphone was perfectly shielding it. There's a great series on Netflix right now about the Cold War. It's three episodes. But it goes through just the espionage that went behind it all and how the nuclear codes got to Russia because it was the couple that rose in birth. There was a few people that basically got the information to Russia. And then once that happened, everything fucking changed.

1:51:24After World War II, basically in World War II, we bombed Japan not because they weren't gonna surrender. This is what this documentary talks about. There was an end in sight. They were crawling. They were on their knees. But Russia had sent forces into Japan as our allies to help finish the war. We didn't want them getting any of the credit. So we bombed while Japan was on root. While Russia was on root, we bombed Japan. So once we did that, Russia was like, oh, it's on. Fuck them. We need, we need, and they basically just, they realigned their whole military, their whole budget. Everything was about getting nukes after that happened.

1:52:13Those bombs didn't need to be dropped. That's so crazy. Yeah. How complicated is that too? Because if they don't drop those bombs, we know the bombs exist and no one's dropped them. Would you think it would have been worse if the world didn't see the horrors? You're probably right. Because as they keep getting better and no one's dropped one on anybody yet. And then with Tonk and Shinn, all fucking do it, man. It'll be the first guy. I'll be the first. Hitler out of the nukes. You don't think you would have launched it? 100%. 100%. He's cranked up on all kinds of fucking drugs. They had, they were shooting animal hormones into him.

1:52:45He was like, they're experimenting on him. Oh, that's right. I heard about that. Yeah. This book, Norman Oler. Norman Oler, I've sold your book so many times. It's an amazing story. When he was in here explaining it all. Hitler had this one doctor that he trusted. Yeah. He didn't trust the, the SS doctor, because there was a lot of people wanting to get rid of Hitler. There was a lot of attempts on his life. And this motherfucker had one doctor that was giving him all the goods. Yeah. And he was just out of his mind. If you gave that guy a nuk at that time, yeah, 100%. He's new to somebody. Of course.

1:53:18Of course. 100%. What wouldn't he do? We like, what was he not capable of? Exactly. Exactly. And I think the same thing is true of Kim Jong -un right now. I don't think he, I don't, I don't think he was friends with Trump. Trump over shook his hand. They're pals. Yeah. It seems like he just needed friend. It's friends of Dennis Rodman. Maybe Dennis Rodman can be like official on a day. Maybe Trump wins. Dennis Rodman becomes the official envoy and we fucking settle things out. Just imagine that. Imagine if that was how it all worked out. Yeah. Smooth things over. Yeah. Give the people electricity.

1:53:52Dude, it's so mysterious when you hear about people that escape from North Korea and they talk about how literally it's the thought police. I just sent Jamie something. So funny that we're talking about this. I said Jamie something that's more than I saw. Where this guy has one of those crazy satellite dishes in his backyard. And he picks up a channel from North Korea. So it's a guy in Ontario. Did you see that text message? Yeah, but you sent that's not what you sent me. So the wrong link got copied. No way. You sent me to spell like the football video. Steps. No, I sent you something before that.

1:54:23No. I didn't. Oh my god. I didn't. You moron. What did I do? Did I save it? God, I thought I sent it to you. I must have accidentally sent some of the else. North Korean guy picks up salad. Yes, it's Ontario man picks up North Korean television. Fuck, I thought I sent it to you. Fuck. But he'll find it because it's becoming viral now because it's really nuts. Can you see the propaganda? So this guy just tunes in to this broadcast of North Korea because he's got one of them. Remember when people had those this the guy? They had those crazy dishes like that thing in their backyard. Yeah. I remember a guy had that.

1:54:59I thought that guy was a wizard. Like look at him. He's getting TV from Ireland. He's watching Snooker on the BBC. So this is this dude tunes in to the North Korean broadcast. Like whatever it is that they broadcast through North Korea. And it's all propaganda and Kim Jong -un is like literally people fall down like he's the Beatles. Like when he shows up. He shot a round of golf. He shot a 27. No, that was in 18 holes. That was his dad. Look how people freak out in this. Yeah. Yeah, he shot like nine holes in one, right? Yeah. But also if you don't react like that, the police see you. Oh yeah.

1:55:36And they put you in a fucking gulag and they for like five years. Yeah, you're fucked. You better cheer. Yeah, the power that he has is just absolute. And then if they find out that you have a relative overseas that's bad mouth in North Korea, your family gets put into a fucking camp. Yeah. Yeah. And not only that it's a generation after generation thing like the children. If you have children in the camp, they're punished as well. Yeah. It's terrible. It's so mysterious. It's impossible. He does. Maybe he maybe dance Rob McHenry. It's his ramen. Yeah. If I had to pick one eloquent NBA star, it would be a dance Rob McHenry.

1:56:17Send him over there with like a bowling bag filled with mushrooms. And just those two get together. Yeah. Meet God. Just like you'd fix this thing. He could take that nuke like it was a fucking three point shot. He just reach up. Stop it. Well, what he's got to do before anything in that country is let those people be free. Like that that is literally like a cult. They just like a cult. Like the power that that one guy has and that government has over the people. Have you ever said, uh, Yon Mi Park talk about her experiences in North Korea? No. She was here. Yes. Oh, yeah, I just see that North Korea when she was 13.

1:56:54Yeah, that was crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. It's crazy. Dude, it's going into China. Like there's China uses, uh, I don't want to say which supermarket chain because I don't want to malign somebody. But one of the major supermarket chains, they have, uh, meat processing plants where they bring China brings in North Korean slaves. They are kept in barracks with barbed wire fences and they work for 12, 14 hours a day, seven days a week and they get, they get paid like a hundred bucks a month. And then they come back to China, they come back to North Korea after like four or five years. And their families get this little fucking tidbit of money, but they don't have a choice because, uh, North Korea picks what they think are the best examples of what North Korea is because they want to look good to China and they send those people over.

1:57:50And they're held, they're worked as slaves for years. And the American companies are buying food from these plants in China. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's an article in the New Yorker about it. Well, if we're buying things, I mean, it's one of the weirdest parts about manufacturing going away in America because so many of the things that we buy are from mysterious places. Like when people found out about what was going on at the Foxconn factories that were making iPhones that they had fences and nets all set up around the roof to keep people from jumping off because so many people suicide net. Oh, yeah, you've never seen it?

1:58:30No. Fuck show those images. It's it's bananas. So instead of fixing it, they said, you know, let's just make it harder to die. Like these people, they just, they don't want to work here. Does the net do you bounce off the net back into the factory? Do those nets. That's to stop suicide. That's all stop suicide. That's how many people are trying to kill themselves. Because you're working 16 hours a day, you sleep there, they have dormitories. Yeah. And this is why your phone costs X instead of Y. And if we had American factories making all these things, you wouldn't have that consideration. You would know, oh, they have to buy, buy regulations and everybody has to do what's for a reason.

1:59:11Well, this doesn't even factor in the African minds where they're pulling up the, what's the metal they need the cobalt minds where they, you know, they send you, they send people into these minds that are like a mile deep. And you maybe make it back up, maybe you don't, the elevator sometimes stop working. All those minds collapsed for like two or three days at a time in the blackness. Yeah. Have you ever seen the video of the Chinese mind collapsing? No. See if you can find that. There's been a few, but there's one really good video of this collapse of this mind. It's fucking terrifying. Yeah.

1:59:46It's terrifying, dude. Right. Because it's basically they're, they're dug into the whole side of this hill. And then it just falls on them. Wow. This massive amount of dirt and land and the smoke and the dust, you're like, oh my god, how many people are dead? Just crushed to death so that you can have an iPhone. Watch this. Look at this. Holy shit. Holy shit, dude. Where is this mind, Jamie? Would it seem to be a mongo -layer? Mongo -layer. Mongo -layer. Fuck, dude. Fuck. Mines are terrifying. Yeah. You know, you hear noises like crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr, crrr.

2:00:30Yeah, get the fuck outta here man. Go. Let's get outta here. That was the Irish, we all came over running into the mines. Well, all the people in the Apple H's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know why they say those people in Apple H are more violent? Why? Because they come from hurting populations. I think it was in, was it in sapiens or whose book was that in? Maybe one of Malcolm Gladwell's books. But it's the basically they're saying that the reason why there's more like, when they used to have feuds, you know, like the hat feels in the macaws, that type of thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think that was sapiens.

2:01:07Yeah. So the idea is that these people who are farmers, well, it's very difficult to steal all your corn. You know, you can't steal all your corn. But you could steal someone's sheep, all their sheep. And so if you're a herder, you have to be on guard constantly of thieves who come in and take all your animals all at once. You have to be super violent to protect your flock. And those guys came over here with that sort of attitude. Huh. Yeah. That's funny because you think of like, the shepherd is this like kind of arc type of figure of this guy who's just kind of laying back with a piece of hay seed and his mouth chilling out.

2:01:42But now they're warriors. You have to be. Yeah. Because you'll lose all your food. Yeah. Like if you if your family relies on those sheep, you have 20 sheep and you're you got to follow them and graze with them. You have to bed down with them. Yeah. If someone comes along and tries to, that's why cattle rustlers. They would kill them. They would kill horse rustlers. People stole horses and cows. But in the old west, it was one of the worst things you could do. Yeah. You steal a man's horse. They'll fucking kill you steal a car today. Like you have a slap on the wrist. There's guys out there that stole 14, 15 cars.

2:02:11Nobody gives a shit. You know. There's this comic. I did Kill Tony last night. This comic came up and he said he's got a Kia and it's been so it's been stolen four times this year. I guess Kia has some kind of a defect. And you can you can read about it online. But it's like, it's like super easy like old school hot wiring. You can just grab a Kia. So yeah, I've heard about this. They get stolen a lot. Kia thefts. It's a big deal. Yeah, I mean, the only downside is once you do it, you've got a you've got a Kia. Right. That's the payout. Mostly kids though. Mostly kids do it for joy rides. Yeah.

2:02:46You can do it in like 10 seconds. It's happening all over the country. It's been happening for a few years. So they take it going to joy ride, beat the shit out of it. Yeah, they're just driving crazy. Oh, there's nothing more joyful than driving a Kia. Well, I mean, if you don't have a car, it's just trying to have fun. People fuck out of it. Yeah, that's kind of hilarious. They could just steal Kia's. I know. But there's junk. You know, but they're cheap and they don't break that much. Like if you just need something to get around, just sucks that they could steal them so easily. So you're going to, you know, I can congratulate me.

2:03:19But the Mustang. Oh, that's right. You're the picture. I finally did it. I've been talking to you about it for 15 years. I wanted a Mustang. And I always had kids in college. I always I get fucking worried about money. I always spent my money on like trips. Like our family travels a lot. Like that was a, cars were never a big thing. But yet there was always a teenage. It's a fucking water Mustang. And then finally I just fucking did it. Like, uh, two weeks ago. It's just a Mustang. Which, what model? The EcoBoost. The EcoBoost. You got the six cylinder engine. Yeah, I don't know what it is. How is it?

2:03:56It's fun. It's shit. I took it up into the Malibu Hills. The San Monica Mountains the other day with my wife. And you've got those little like serpent -tining roads and fucking, it handles unbelievable. And it's so low to the ground. You turn and you just feel like you're turning with the car. Yeah, you're not. You still a car like that. No. No. I was driving a Prius and a Subaru. It was awful. Now I feel alive for the first time. I knew you were going to ask me if it was a fucking GT. I was, yeah, if you're going to get a Mustang, you got to get a V8. That's a great facembas move. Get the EcoBoost.

2:04:33Yeah. Baby steps. So now you're hooked. I'm in. Now you're in. Well now I got a little more money too. Yeah. My kids are out. Yeah, you're fine. Yeah. Spending money now. Spending it like a, like a, like a man. I mean, it's been a good, I think, a couple of years. But like, it's all going back. I put a lot of it into this special that I shot at your club, by the way, at the mothership. I heard it's great. Tao today. Oh, did you? Yeah, I heard it's good. Oh, that's nice to hear. The guys who saw it when you found it, they're still chilled. Yeah, it was fun. It was, uh, you know, because I was going to do it before the pandemic happened.

2:05:02And then, uh, that stalled it out. And then I came back. I shot it at one place. Didn't, it meant too much to me to put out a bad version of it. So I edited it for three months and then I just fucking scrapped it entirely. And then when I did, uh, there we go. And then, uh, the great Adam Egett said, Hey, we'd love to have you. Joe, we'd love to have you do a special here. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? And I came in and I didn't have to do shit. I didn't have to like build a backdrop. Cause all Brian Simpson, I think, is the only guy that's put a special out from this place. So like that backdrop is, is beautiful.

2:05:39And people haven't seen it much. Yeah. So, I don't think it matters anyway. Like how many fucking times you see people do stand up from the seller and you just see the brick wall? Yeah. And I'll go, oh, that brick wall. I can't even enjoy these jokes. Right, right. Yeah, but at the same time, like I wanted it to be special. It's been a long time since I put a special out. And this material is like again, I've been working on it for like eight years. So I wanted it to really pop. And so I got in, I bought in 800 pound gorilla. They shoot a lot of the specials. And they just, you know, I spent some money and I did it right.

2:06:10And, uh, fucking psyched about it. Nice. And what's it is going to be on YouTube? It's on YouTube right now. It comes out to it. YouTube is the move, man. Yeah. It's such a good move for like getting your stuff out there. You know, you can, you can get millions of views. And everybody can get it. You can get it on your phone. You can share it. That's the thing I love about YouTube is like someone can send it to me, like a link to your thing. Or you just watch it right away, right? Which is nuts. Yeah. There's no other platform like that. And it's also you can, I love that I can see the comments.

2:06:37You know, I mean, if you put it on Netflix or Comedy Central, I guess there's going to be some conversation on certain places. But YouTube, it's right fucking there. And you can see how many people are watching it. And, um, you know, I just don't want my wife and kids to watch the last 10 minutes. That's where I start. Given it's the old lady a little bit. Yeah, tell them to steer clear. Yeah, they don't need to see that. They don't need to see your act. Come on. Just two way from that. That's my business. Yeah, you can see it. It's for the rest of the world. Yeah, you can see the trips I take you on.

2:07:07That's all you need to care about. Dad's Mustang. That's all you're concerned about. Yeah, now that you're hooked, I'm going to get you into something more crazy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next one, we're going to step you up a little bit. No shit. Yeah, you need to feel like, boom, you feel some real excitement. Feel the rumble in the ball. Yeah, real rumble. Either here at V8, you need to roll the windows down and rev it in a parking structure. What was that Mustang you drove into the comedy store one night? You had it like a 68 fast back, was it? No, no. That was probably my core vent. No, you had a Mustang.

2:07:47No, I definitely did. Oh, no, no, no. I had a more modern Mustang. Oh, maybe that's what it was. I had a Shelby GT500. It was like a 2012 convertible. It was great. It was very rumbly. Yeah, that was fun. That car was ridiculous. Any gas at all when you're making a turn, the ass end kicks out. Any gas at all. It was so overpowered. Didn't have the fattest tires in the world, but god damn, it was fun. That was the first one of those cars that I had ever gotten. Whereas a modern muscle car. I had had muscle cars before, like the old school ones, but the modern ones are even more fun to drive. Because you can actually drive them.

2:08:22They actually have good brakes. They actually have good suspension. They're designed well. Right. If you get like a modern, like Mustang has a thing called the dark horse. So the dark horse is their like top end car that you can get with a manual transmission. It's fucking great. It's like 500 horsepower. It handles really well. See if you can find Mustang dark horse. That's the top of the line before they get into the GT500, which is only automatic. So like the, I think the dark horse is the last one that you can get that's got a standard transmission. Right. I need that. Yeah. I need a muscle car.

2:09:00I need that fucking. I need that. That's it. Yeah. That is a sick car, man. That's a sick car. I just love that they're still making cars like this. They just full on muscle cars, but with like performance suspensions and great brakes now. Look at the fact that it's a tough track. I know. Because that was the wrap on old Mustang's. It's they were fast, but you went in with a corner and you like got slammed against the side of the car. Look at that thing. Nasty. Yeah. Those are fun. I don't know what it is about Mustang's. It's just the American car to me. Yeah. Well, they're fucking incredible, man.

2:09:36And they've been around forever. I have a 68. I have a 68. Like one that looks like Steve McQueen's one from Bullock. Bullock. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking great. Yeah, that's the one. The 68. The great. It's an American car. Like a truly American car. Is it all new guts? Oh, yeah, it's all new. It's for this company. Revology makes them. They take it from the ground up. It's basically a 2023, 1968 Mustang. Yeah. You mean even the doors close really well, push button start. Like you feel like you're driving a new car. Yeah. But it sounds. Sounds right. It feels right. Yeah. Like it's exciting. Yeah. I know my wife wanted me to get a test lens.

2:10:19I was like, I want to feel it. I want to feel that fucking rumble. Testless is actually faster though, isn't it? Wave. Yeah. My test is my fastest car. For sure. By far, not even close. It's 1 .9 seconds zero to 60. Damn. That's insanity. Well, it's insanity because then people don't hear you coming and you're going that much faster. That's true. That's true. But it's also, you get you away from things. Like if you see something about to happen, you could get out of there quicker. You can merge on the highway. Like instantaneously, you never have to worry. Am I going fast enough? Like if I merge in this lane, am I cutting this too close?

2:10:56You can just, you're gone. And are the brakes that much better? No. No, you can get upgraded brakes though. There's a company called Unplugged that will take it and they put upgraded brakes. They widen the fenders and put wider tires on it and change the suspension and make it tauter. But the brakes are good. The brakes on, they're not the best brakes on my Tesla. It's not like a Porsche's brakes. Like a Porsche with ceramic carbon ceramic brakes. Those are incredible. Like if you get a really good modern brake setup, six piston, six front brakes, there's big calipers. Those things can really fucking slow down a car quickly.

2:11:39So the Tesla is not as good as those, but it's good enough. But it's a heavy -ass car too. They're having a problem with guard rails. I was reading this thing about electric cars. Like they drove one of those Rivian trucks and just go straight through those guard rails because it's way heavier than a regular one. Oh, no shit. Yeah, you have to think about that. Yeah, Rivians had a big callback. I think they're okay now, but they called back like every one of them at one point. Oh, for a while. For a while ago. I can't remember what it was, but... You know what's incredible? Have you seen a lucid sapphire?

2:12:09No. Lucid sapphire is the company's kind of struggling. They're having a hard time selling these things. But I think they have some Saudi Arabian money now. So maybe they're going to be okay. But they have a thing called a sapphire that's one of the most insane electric cars ever built. Wow. It's like a Mercedes. Like incredible attention to detail. Like incredible interior, luxurious, and zero to 60 is even faster than my car. I think there's zero to 60 is something bonkers. Like 1 .7 seconds. Yeah, a scrollback up where it says the acceleration. Here I go. Okay. 2 .2 seconds to 60 miles now.

2:12:46A quarter mile of 9 .28 seconds, which is bananas for a car. Which that is so crazy. Yeah. I mean, it's so fast. But it also has incredible... So it says the time it backs us up with more outrageous numbers. Zero to 60 in 1 .9 seconds. And then a 9 .05 second at 154 miles per hour for the quarter mile. Which is bananas. That's so fast. And it handles really well. Great brakes. Have you taken the expensive ones? Like a lot more? No. But it's a lot more expensive. I think those are like that one, the sapphire. I think that's like a quarter million dollars. Where is it from? It's an American car.

2:13:31At least it's paid in America. I think they make them in Arizona. Insane car though. So they're doing 50 grand. Yeah. So they're doing cars like that now where it has all these things. You still have to charge it. But now Samsung apparently is coming out with a new battery for electric vehicles that they've apparently been working on. That can charge in nine minutes. And it has a 600 mile range. I heard about that. Yeah. That's a game changer. Game changer. Nine minutes is a game changer. That's a game changer. But I'm going to plug it in and I'm going to run away. Because who fucking knows how long the amount of juice that's going to that batteries?

2:14:16Who knows if a gasket's loose or who fucking knows, man? I don't want to be nowhere near those batteries. Yeah. That scares the shit out of me. I know. You see those videos are guys getting in elevators with e -car batteries or e -bike batteries and the batteries explode. And they just fry. And people's houses burn down because they leave the, if you leave it charged in your garage, it will ignite sometimes. And it blasts fire. It doesn't just light on fire. It blasts fire. It's like it's all condensed in there. And when it goes, it goes like a fucking fire bomb. There's a video of a guy in an elevator.

2:14:54It's horrific. He sets it down on the ground and it just like sparks and then just full on fills the elevator with fire. There's nowhere to hide. This guy just cooks alive and try to elevate that. Imagine that. You're trying to save a few bucks by getting an electric bike and you burn your house down. It's also this is this ridiculous thing that we have what we think that that's eco -friendly. I'm going to be eco -friendly. I'm going to drive my electric bike. That is not eco -friendly. Like you're using electricity. That electricity probably requires somewhere, somewhere, someone's burning something to make that electricity.

2:15:31Whether it's coal or, you know, it could be natural gas. Something's happening where there's a combustion and that's how you're getting this electricity. What is that putting into there? You lazy bitch. Just ride your bike like a regular bike rider. You fucking lazy bitch. Oh, don't show me this. That also doesn't even get into what we're talking about with the cold -balt mining that has to go into it and the disposal of the batteries, which nobody really understands. I changed my mind. Show it to Greg. I was saying don't show it to me, but show it to Greg. Greg needs to see this. So this poor dude, he sets it down.

2:16:03Now look, oh, it's before he even set it down. Bro, it just, yeah, death. Just death. Yeah. It freaks me out, Jamie. Stop it. I was looking at, they couldn't, the, someone looked into what this was and there's a lot of stories on what it may have been. I'm not really sure what the answer was. I'll tell you what a lug was. You know what a lugger you're gonna tell us? You put me up in this beautiful hotel. And the elevators are always there. That's the difference between a good hotel and a bad hotel. Right, we need to wait. No matter what floor you're on, you push the bike. I swear to God, two seconds of thing is there.

2:16:38And then I'm in the middle of, I'm on the road for a month right now, home for two days because I'm out promoting the special and doing roadwork on the weekends in between. So I was like, yes, I was like, fuck, I gotta do some laundry. And so I look on my Google maps, is there a place for drop off service? Nothing. I would have to drive like 15 minutes in an Uber. So I was like, fuck it, I'll just do the hotel laundry. And it's like a luxury hotel. So I put my clothes into the, into the bag. It was five pairs of socks, five T shirts, five pairs of underwear. K -bag was $105. Jesus. He's like, fuck man.

2:17:13You could have bought those. Exactly. That's where, Dom Arrari's to do that. He used to buy fresh underwear and fresh socks everywhere he went. No shit. Yeah. Yeah. He was, I don't want to watch him. Yeah.

2:17:27That's great. He made good money here. Hi, there. That's if you're going to spend money on something. Yeah, right, right. And I don't buy expensive socks, you know. But I had already turned. Who's making those socks? That's right. You know the Sheen, is that that clothing company that sells stuff real cheap? I don't know. Where are that, Jamie? Sheen. I was just reading something today about people finding like letters. Like, please help me. I have dental pain. Like that kind of shit. Like I'm forced to be stuck here. Did Sheen get in trouble for using child labor? Is there something about that?

2:18:04And what store is selling Sheen? I mean, I know. I think it's an online thing. Okay. Because I know sometimes the big ones like Walmart, they get in trouble for some of the places they shop. Well, that's the thing, man. It's like if you're buying something from an American store, you have no idea where it was made. How it was made. Conspiracy theory, claiming Sheen workers sent please for help in clothing. It has tens of millions of views on TikTok. There's no evidence to support this particular theory, despite criticism of Sheen's business model. Yeah, but Google Sheen in trouble for child labor or confirms child labor.

2:18:40There was something about that today. There was something in the news, child laborer. Yeah. Okay. This just says two cases. Sheen says it found two cases of child labor and it's applied chain last year. So you got to think, right? Like they send their stuff to factories to get those factories to make their stuff. If they found two in China, I mean China, they protect what's going on in these factories. Do you think, I mean, does this count the North Koreans that are being held? Right. Well, maybe it's not for this company. Companies said it did not find any cases of child labor in Q4 of 2023. That's real specific.

2:19:26Did you look? So I thought that was only found during Q3 or something in the year. Okay. So Q4, they weren't doing it anymore. Which is weird because that was the kid's name that they caught. What are you doing in China? It should be made in America. It should be able to buy American stuff. And there's not that many companies that are selling things in America, unfortunately. Tom's shoes. Tom's shoes. Yeah. So what you buy? It's called Tom's. Yeah. They sell your pair of shoes and they donate a pair to a third world kid that has no shoes. Oh, that's nice. Those barefoot kids. Yeah. That's nice.

2:20:03Not barefoot anymore. There you go. What are the companies? I guess Patagonia, they're very conscious about where they manufacture. Well, I would imagine any of those like rocky out and climbing people companies with like North Face. They'd have to be pretty ecological. Yeah. I heard REEI is not doing good. What do you mean? The company? Their practices are the company. No, the company's not doing good. Dude, I fucking love that company. Love that place. They got one in Marina Del Rey. That's huge. I don't know. I get so excited just walking through the aisles finding cool shit. It's the only place where you buy waterproof matches on a whim.

2:20:37Look at how many girls. You're right. I need a canteen that I can also take a shit into. I need a 100 ,000 lumen flashlight. Case is a fucking raccoon in my garbage. Boom, motherfucker.

2:20:52I need to do those flashlights they have. Yeah, yeah. They have crazy flashlights. Yeah. Yeah. Like some of those like LED flashlights, they're so powerful. It's bananas, how fast? But we used that flashlights. They were bullshit. I know. It does. Yeah, that one stupid bulb and that silver reflective area in the outside is supposed to amplify the light from this one shitty light bulb. And yet to put in those giant double -d batteries and wait, like eight pounds to carry it around. I think they all need those now. Well, I think with these really high lumen lights the LEDs don't draw much electricity.

2:21:25Dude, all my camping stuff is solar. Really? Yeah, my lanterns are all solar. It's great. And they collapse. It's collapsible. And then it pops up. I think it's a Coleman. It collapses and then it pops up and then charges. It's got a nice light. My friend Adam Greentree, he does a lot of these solo hunts where he goes into the back country for like a month at a time, just him by himself, living off the land. And he has this, it's like a tarp you lay out. It's a solar tarp. Like you unfold it. And he uses it to charge his phone, charges cameras. Like anything he wants to charge. Yeah. Yeah, I bet you those boats, those people that take a boat from Hawaii to mainland US, they must have everything must be solar.

2:22:09You have to have something solar. You have to have at least some kind of backup. Like if your generator goes down, you're stuck in the middle of a fucking ocean. You can't even rescue, you know, like send a rescue message. Yeah. Dude, if you told me we're going to send you on a sailboat to Hawaii, I would be like, I'll just die. You could just, you could kill me. Going into storms with 20 foot waves on a sailboat. In the middle of the ocean, dude, in the middle of the ocean. I'm not that guy that died in Italy. You hear that story? That crazy story? An app. So there's this guy who was on trial.

2:22:44He was some billionaire character who was on trial for, I forget what the charges were, but there was a very low probability of him beating the case and he wound up beating it. And then he's on the island of Sicily. He's around Sicily in the ocean and a water spout out of nowhere, hits his boat, syncs him and kills him. I believe killed his daughter and maybe a few other people as well. And then some people swim to safety. But what are the odds that this water spout takes out this one guy's yacht right after this guy gets off on apparently allegedly ripping off a bunch of very wealthy people? Yeah.

2:23:31Now his co -defendant gets hit by a car. He gets killed too. No shit. Nothing to see here. Not in Sicily. That shit never happens. I don't know if the co -defendant got killed in Sicily. The co -defendant might have got killed somewhere else. But I know they're both dead. Oh damn. Quick. Yeah. It makes you wonder, like don't fuck with rich people. Do not. Yeah. Because they can make someone rich to get rid of you. Like, what do you how much do you think you're worth? Like if someone's worth $80 billion and you rip them off for like $5 billion, like I want this motherfucker good. Yeah. And you have what you go for a walk on a beach with a guy and everybody leaves their cell phones at home and you explain how it's all going to get done and a water spout just shows up in the middle of the ocean.

2:24:18What are the you they use in satellites? What access to fucking killer weather technology do they really have? Yeah. What do they have? Like let's assume this is a conspiracy because it might not have been. It might be God. God might have said fuck this guy. Yeah. Which is horrible because he also said fuck the guy's daughter and a bunch of people work on the boat. But if God did that, it's pretty crazy. Right? That's one option. One option is it's some strange karma that God just decided it's your time. Another option is just complete coincidence. Just this took place to this guy. He's just on the ocean and shit happens.

2:24:50It's just crazy. Just circumstance that people are going to attribute it to a conspiracy. The other possibility is that they can do that. That some force in the world has the kind of technology that can direct a storm to a very specific spot that can create a water spout. Exceeding the clouds or something. Something probably more complicated than that. Like some sort of a direct energy weapon. Something where they can do something with the ionosphere, do something with lasers, I don't know what the fuck they're using. But some kind of technology that can amplify weather and point it to a very specific place.

2:25:33Which is crazy to think. Like a manchef there is a hurricane machine out there. If we know that Japan starts talking shit, oh yeah, you want to talk some shit? How about we send a hurricane away? And you don't even know you can do hurricanes. So if you don't know that we're creating the hurricane, you think you just got hit by a hurricane. Nice. Like how much control do they have over storms? Or Sieges. Like a Siege used to be used surround in the city and you kept any food from coming in. Now, how about a drought for a year? Right. Right. Maybe they can do that. Well, they know what does this say?

2:26:09The potentially could have been avoided if the ship had been, I don't know, the state treated or cared for correctly. Because they knew that the storm was coming and they didn't do some things they should have done, including button down all the hatches, lift up the anchor, and a few other things. Run the list I saw. So there's an investigation going and they might have interest in slaughter charges or something. Probably the defenses were committed. Because of the way that people set the boat up. Yeah, they're not even positive. If they could have survived that storm if those things were done.

2:26:43So stop trying to be a party pooper. I'm trying to promote conspiracy theory really. So imagine if you do have control of the weather, what would you do? You'd start a storm first. Can't just have this water spout appear out of nowhere. Let's start a fucking storm. Guys out there boating. Okay, let's start a storm. Like can they start a storm? Well, how much control? I mean, I don't know anything about it except like what do they call it? Cloud seating. Cloud seating is real. How much how much control do we have over the weather now? Well, cloud seating is real. They do it in Abu Dhabi once a week.

2:27:15So they have it rains once a week in Abu Dhabi because they're insanely wealthy. Right? And they're like wouldn't be nice at rain. So let's fucking make it rain. So there's chemicals e spray in the clouds and it's something about it changes the way to the water vapor. But there has to be clouds. Yeah, I think there has to be clouds. But there's kind of always clouds. Like some clouds. In Dubai though recently, they had a disaster where they they fucked up and they overamped and they got more rain than they've had in seven years. And so there's like super cars like floating down the street like mad flooding because they don't really have the infrastructure to deal with that kind of water.

2:27:53Like just pouring down. Did you see any of that footage? Yeah. I'm pretty sure this has all been they've all tied this into cloud seating. See if that's true. But the footage of the flood is fucking bonkers. So if there's cloud seating, will there not be fighting between places about who gets to pull the water from the clouds? Because you'll exhaust the air and the water eventually in the in the sky eventually. I wonder if that's true. I wonder if there's more up there than we think there is. And I wonder what the negative consequences are. Like does it have an effect on other parts of the world?

2:28:29So the heavy rainfall continues to pound UAE. Several flights cancel. So I had some friends that were over there while this was happening. They said it was nuts. Like they're just not designed for that. So buildings were leaking. Like everything was flooded. Like these buildings are not really set up. Look at all those cars like sunk underwater. These buildings, some of them are not really set up. Look at the fucking airport. That's nuts. It's like a swimming pool. They're not set up for this kind of rainfall or any kind of rainfall. They probably did a shit job building them. They didn't weather proof them.

2:29:03Did he just get a rain? You're in the desert. Sometimes that shit backs up. Yeah, but this is like raining for days. So was it because of cloud seating? Does it say? Google that. See if it's pretty sure they attributed to the cloud seating. Which is nuts that they can do that. That's wild. So we can make it rain. Yeah.

2:29:30So that's kind of simple though. That's not starting a storm. And it's certainly not directing a storm. So it makes you wonder like, okay, that seems pretty straightforward. How they do the cloud seating. But is there any sort of technology that's even feasible that would allow you to manipulate the weather? So like if we understand the conditions in which certain storms emerge, like hurricanes, it has to do with the warming of the ocean, like the ocean water and then a cold front coming above it. There's a bunch of different factors that happen. Like, would it be possible to mimic those conditions or to artificially stimulate those conditions?

2:30:16Is it even feasible? Like, how would you warm the ocean? That's insane. So big. How are you going to do that? Saying this is just a crazy weather event that happened with like a low pressure system, not moving right. They had forecasted that it was going to happen. Did they do any cloud seating though? That there's reports that cloud seating may have had the thing. But the BBC says they're unable to independently identify where their cloud seating took place. Right. Because if I was working for the UA, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Cloud seating. Yeah. Like, you know, much insurance is involved in all this.

2:30:45No, no, this just happened. Do you know much money is lost there? Just think of that. Think of how much repairs, how many cars got drowned. I didn't do it. I don't know. I fucked you down about cloud seating. Yeah. What is a science fiction movie, bitch? It's 20 people. That's the department of cloud seating. When I cloud. And they fucked up. When I cloud seating, we just, yeah, it rained. Yeah. It rained in the middle of desert. By the way, the BBC, like, when I think about, because everybody talks about like which news sources can you trust and neither side trust is the other side. BBC kind of feels like the place we can all go.

2:31:18That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah, it's real hard with anything that's a corporation. If you really want to get news, I get some unbiased news. There's a thing. What is it called? 1492? Is that what it's called? Oh, yeah. Well, it's basically just fact -driven news stories. Not no editorial bend to it whatsoever. Not owned by a board that's on one side of the other. Yeah. So I get that. But somehow I trust like, BBC's pretty good. Guardian, BBC. But anybody that's got some sort of an agenda, any one way or the other, you know, whether it's to minimize one person's activity or maximize another person, like, what are, just tell me what happened.

2:32:08Tell me who did what and what took place. And just don't give me any words like far right. Don't say extremist. Don't say any of that stuff. Just tell me what a human being did. What another human, like, what started this? Well, that's why I prefer people magazine over us because like when I see Ben Affleck with a giant Starbucks cup and it says he's just like us, I'm like, fucking, that's it. That's the real deal. That's facts.

2:32:42I use to read people magazine every week. My wife was working at a doctor's office and I'd say fucking steal that people magazine. So not. I just, I just, I don't know why it's because it's so much after all the other bullshit news that you're looking at just to go like, all right, just, I want to see a country singer who's got a new fucking baby and it's sweet. It's all just super low frequency information. I used to love those fake ones, whether it like, was it, which ones were the ones that were talking about Bigfoot UFOs all the time? Oh, the National Enquirer? No, not that one. National Enquirer was like gossipy stuff.

2:33:17Oh, the world news. World news, of course. Yeah, yeah, that's the one. That was a great best. I'm dead the worst like Photoshop pictures and I'm like, give me that. What did you do? What did you do? My father was, you know, my father was in broadcasting and he did a lot of voiceovers and so one of his accounts was the, it was the National Enquirer and his voice would come out every week. All the commercials for National Enquirer would come on and that's it. That's it. Yeah. Give me some. I don't have a copy of the story, sorry. Just let me see some of those. Look at the bat child. Look at that.

2:33:51Look at the bat child found in cave. Hillary Clinton adopts alien baby. Does look like Chelsea a little bit. There's bat child found in cave. Look at that. Batboy leads cops to three state chase. First photos of heaven.

2:34:10They were amazing. It's amazing. Computer virus spreads to humans. Princess Dye is alive. Batboy sided in New York City. Batboy got a lot of coverage. He must have sold a lot of episodes. Pregnant man gives birth. Look, that was ridiculous back then. Now it's like a curse, a cursing a birth. Oh my god, there's Bigfoot runaway brides. He's running it. But look at the bride. It's so clearly like a holograph. They didn't even try. It's a drawing. It's Bigfoot with a fucking veil on. Oh my god. Fat cat owns 23 old ladies.

2:34:50Titanic captain found a lifeboat. Did you see that one? Oh my god. That's amazing. Oh, they were so good. They were so good. It was just ridiculous enough. They were like, give me that. Yeah. Give me that. What did you do? He's sent him a bitch. It was the fun for the audience. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, there was always Bigfoot. A lot of Bigfoot story. Oh, Jackie with crippled Kennedy. Proving he didn't die in Dallas. Oh yeah. He just got crippled. Yeah. Get shot in the head. We'll make you crippled on your. It's funny. Just circle a blurry photo. That's him. It's how the fuck you know it's him. It's us, dude.

2:35:32They just lied to you. But they lied. The lies are so ridiculous. It's like it's okay. Like some kind of fraud we allow. Like we allow like preachers that like televangelists, you know, like the. Preachers. How about fucking religion? Oh yeah. How about the this new kind of like the Christians are taking over the country and forcing us to put the 10 commandments on the sides of fucking court houses and get it taught in schools? It's doing that. It's a fantasy. Wait a minute. Who's doing that? But the court houses? Yeah. Where's that happening? What state is that? Maybe it's Texas. I don't know.

2:36:11Really? Yeah. Was the 10 commandments always there or are they trying to reintroduce it or are they trying to introduce it? Well, there's different 10 commandments. First of all, like there's the there's the Catholic 10 commandments and then there's a Lutheran 10 commandments. So I don't even know which one they're using. But is it Alabama? One of the one of the states is forcing them to put the 10 commandments. Really? Find that. That a court house is. A -C -L -U -Suz over 10 commandments in court house saying biblical text violates religious liberty and this is from 2001. Now this is this is in the last year.

2:36:48Are you sure you have been just on the liberal news report? Positive. Probably get it in Venice. Guys all lie to each other. To be a dude. It's all about homeless people and the tech commandments. There's a story about a monument between the Texas State Capitol building and the state supreme court building. But I don't know if that's the case. I was just a monument. It stood on grounds between Texas State Capitol building and the state supreme court building. Monument was one of several scattered around the Capitol grounds. Its location did not draw special attention to it. That's not it. You know what scholars from Israel think the 10 commandments were?

2:37:18Moses in the burning bush like that whole thing. Yeah. The thing was DMT. They think that the Acacia Bush is very rich in DMT and they think it's indicative of a psychedelic experience. This is the, instead of smoking this compound, it's a burning bush. Like this is how you would get the analogy. Especially when you're dealing with a story that's told over a thousand years before it's ever written down. Yeah. And it's translating all these different languages. But if you break it down to what it is, these scholars now believe that some sort of a psychedelic experience when it comes back and said, God, it's given us these rules to live by.

2:37:51In that case, I'm in. I'm in on those 10 commandments. They came from somewhere real then. Yeah. Well, I think all of it, if you stop and think, I always bring this up, but it's a good point. Like in the beginning, there was light. Well, isn't that the Big Bang? I mean, we believe in that. Like all scientists that are studying the origins of the universe believe in the Big Bang. There's new people like, well, not new, like Sir Roger Penrose, who has been on the show before, who now believes that the Big Bang was the end of another universe. And that it's probably this endless cycle. And it's not as simple as there was nothing, and then there was something, that there's always this expansion and contraction, and then these cosmic events take place, and they burst new universes.

2:38:36It just manifests different types of life forms at different times. That's all completely speculative, right? Well, what they do know is what they can see, right? So what they can see is some sort of evidence, some sort of a background evidence of this event that took place. There's still arguing about how much time ago it took, because of the James Webb telescope. They've seen some structures and some galaxies that are so far away, they shouldn't have been able to form in the amount of time that it took from the current understanding of the Big Bang. And some people want to push the Big Bang back 22 billion years now, sort of 13 billion years.

2:39:14But it could be that's just as far, because that's 22 billion years it takes for light to get there, to breach us. But if it's 100 billion years, that's just never going to get there. We're never going to see it. So if it goes back further and further than that, it's just not available to us. We don't have the ability to see it yet, but we might. Yeah. Now they can, with the James Webb, they can see far further back, and with new telescopes, they invent, and new methods of detection. They might be able to realize like there's no end to this thing. Yeah. And there was no beginning, and it just keeps happening.

2:39:47That makes it's more logical than it not being true. I mean, there's obviously, I mean, all the laws of physics are about the energy and mass, not disappearing. It exists, and there's different wavelengths that all life exhibit. We're in such a slim frame of energy that, and now I feel like I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. I know what you're saying, though. Yeah, but it's just, it's not logical that there would be just this, and not infinity. It's silly. But it's also, even if there wasn't, the universe is so crazy, just what we know. Even if we said, oh, it's only 13 .7 billion years old.

2:40:30Like, do you don't even know what that means? You know how fucking big that is? And by the way, we're not at the end of it. It's not like where, like it blew up, and we're as far away, we look back, that's what we see. No, it goes that far that way too. So it's fucking immense beyond imagination. You could put it in the numbers, you could write it down, billion this, that. It doesn't even register. You can't imagine how long it would take to get there. You can't imagine if you're going to speed of light, something taking 13 .7 billion years to arrive at. It's so big that even if that's it, that's the whole thing, even if it's finite, even if they define the universe as a structure, it's finite, and it is X amount of billion years of light -year travel until you reach the end of this structure, maybe it rotates into itself.

2:41:16Who knows? It's still insane. So the idea that it doesn't have a boundary, that there's more of them, that there's a multiverse, that there's an infinite number of them, that they const, there's one of the theories is that in the center of every galaxy, there's a supermassive black hole, and if you go through that supermassive black hole, you will find another universe with hundreds of billions of galaxies. Each one of the supermassive black hole in them, and all of it, go through that, hundreds of billions, you can't really, like, that it's never ending in fractal. Yeah, and also the fact that we can travel at a certain speed, and the fact that there isn't another life force that can go instantaneously through incredible distances.

2:41:54Probably for sure they can. Yeah. I mean, we were talking the other day, I had this guy, and we were talking about, imagine if you were living in the Roman Empire, and you showed them a garage door opener, they'd be like, what the fuck? This is crazy. You're nowhere near that thing you press a button, and it goes up. Yeah. That's nuts. It's a radio frequency, something you can't see, feel or touch. Oh! We think it's so crazy, but it might be how we travel through space in the future. Yes, but just zip to some new spot. Yeah. And it'd be super normal for us. Like, well, you're going to fly there, like an idiot with a jet engine.

2:42:31You're going to need stopover as to refuel. Yeah, and you hope you don't get hit by a micro -media right along the way, and you get annihilated. You have those people that are stuck in the space station. Yeah. Baroque. Elon has to go rescue them. Is that what's going to happen? Yeah, Boeing can't get them. They're having failures with their jets. Apparently, Boeing at one time was talking shit about SpaceX, and now Elon's talking shit to Boeing. That's great. Because they're going to have to go rescue those people. Yeah. Is Russia or China, is anybody else going to the space station? We can catch a ride from?

2:43:03It would be nice. Yeah. That would be nice. I don't know. But I know you can't stay up there too long. It's really bad for you. I heard it's like nine months is the forecast right now. If how long they can stay up there? You know what I'm supposed to be there for? No. Eight days. No. And how long do they say? I heard something like nine months. It's no fewer than 240. The Starliner. It will amount to no fewer than 240 consecutive days since the space station. Yeah, so nine months. When do they run out of food? When do they run out of food? When do they start eating each other? Bro, when do they run out of food?

2:43:39How much food do they have up there? How can they have enough food? How is it even possible? What do they do with their shit? They shoot it out into space? Can't do that. What if it lands on somebody? Kill them. That's how we build. That's how we build. Really? Yeah, they dropped out of planes. Frozen turds have come through people's fucking house roofs. Yeah. Like a brick of shit from the sky. Imagine you're watching the Super Bowl. Like this is amazing. A brick of frozen shit from 180 passengers comes crashing through your kitchen roof. Who do you call for that? Third ride is always going to be it.

2:44:18They just can't safely take it back. Why? The helium leaks in several issues with smaller thrusters. It's been docked with the space station. It says on so like earlier this week day announced that it will undock without a crew in early September and come back to Earth while they wait for their ride sometime in 2025. Oh my god, in 2025. We are in August right now of 2024 talking about this. Would you want to not just get on the thing and go with it? No. You're left in space. Would you take your chance? I don't know. Oh, you might take your chance. What if you're on a set of foods? Right, you might take a chance.

2:44:56You know what's so fucking crazy is that it takes this long. When you think about like, what was it? 1969 when we went to the... When we go to the moon the first time. Allegedly? So you know what I mean? Allegedly? Allegedly. That they basically took with no real computers with none of the technology we have today. They took picture of 1969, fucking Camaro. Oh yeah. Going up into space. They got up to space in... You know, and they had a space program that was very accelerated. They didn't shit fast because Russia had thrown down the gauntlet. They had already gotten there. We wanted to get on the moon first.

2:45:34Well, we all had Nazi scientists. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Russia got a bunch and we got a bunch. But dude, they got up there and then somebody hit a wrong button when they... I think that... I guess this was a... It was a first one. Pulled through a pile. Yeah. They hit a wrong button on the computer and they went off course and they self -corrected on a fucking on board computer. Because you know, if you missed the gravitational pull, you just fucking spin out into space and it's over. And these dudes somehow made it with a V8 engine. They just got to the moon. I think it was an echo boost. And then now today, how is it that it still takes us this long to do the same thing that they did 50 years ago?

2:46:21Well, do you know that the Apollo missions were the only time that they ever sent a living thing into deep space and had to come back alive? What? Yeah. They never sent anything into deep space. Like they never sent a monkey to the moon and had to come back alive to see if the people could survive. The first time they did it was with people. Wow. Yeah, it seems odd. It seems odd that no mission other than the Apollo missions has ever been past Earth's gravity. Yeah. So the way all of these missions, like Space Station mission, they're all like 300 miles, 300 miles, Space Shuttle missions, everything's inside 300 miles.

2:46:59Because it's inside the Van Allen radiation belts. So this is a immense band of radiation that covers the Earth that lasts, I forget how many thousands of miles, but it's outside of where all the space travel is. Except the Apollo's. They went through it. No problem. And they try to blow a hole through it once. They actually ignited a nuclear bomb in space. It was Operation Starfish Prime. So they shot a nuke up into space to try to clear a pathway. So they could like shoot a rocket through it and have no problems. And it made it way more radioactive. Whoa. They had the opposite effect. So they're blowing a hole through it.

2:47:38It's just supercharged the belt. No shit. Yeah, it was a, it was a crazy experiment. The idea that they would shoot a rocket into space and blow up a nuclear bomb. Damn. Yeah, pull up our operations start. I pre -satellite 60s. So they were at 768 somewhere around then. Maybe slightly earlier than that. Okay. Because now you fuck up all the telecommunications if you did that. No, no, no, maybe. It depends on where you do it, I guess. But a solar flare could fuck up all over communications. One good blast and all of our satellites are down. Starfish Prime is a high altitude nuclear test conducted by the, it's just a test, Gregory.

2:48:22A joint effort of the Atomic Energy Commission and the Defense Atomic Support, oh, 62. It was launched in Johnston, Atoll in July 9, 1962, as the largest nuclear test conducted in outer space. And one of five conducted by the US in space. Oh, a Thor rocket. Imagine you're naming your rocket. Thor. Thor. Containing a W -49 Thermonuclear Warhead designed at Los Alamos Scientific Laboratory. And a Mk -2 reentry vehicle was launched from Johnston, Atoll in the Pacific Ocean, about 900 miles west, southwest of Hawaii. The explosion took place at an altitude of 250 miles, not that high. Now, that's not that high.

2:49:07That's like right at the border of where I think the, the belt start, I think the belt started like around 300, 350, something like that. Starfish test was one of five high altitude test grouped together as Operation Fishball. I think in Hawaii they had power outages because of it. Wow. But did they have power outages that say they have power outages in Hawaii? I think it's power outages. Does it say anything? This is a whole Wikipedia on the thing, right?

2:49:39I believe they did. I think that was one of the issues. After effects. Okay, here it goes. While some of the energetic beta particles followed the Earth's magnetic field and illuminated the sky, other high energy electrons became trapped and formed radiation belts around the earth. The added electrons increased the intensity of the electrons within the natural inner Van Allen radiation belt by several orders of magnitude. There was much uncertainty and debate about the composition, magnitude and potential adverse effects from the trapped radiation after the detonation. The weaponryers became quite worried when three satellites in low Earth orbit were disabled.

2:50:20These included the TR -AAC and the Transit 4B. The half -life of the energetic electrons was only a few days. At the time it was not known that solar and cosmic particle flux is varied by a factor of 10. And energies could exceed one MEV, whatever that means. In the months that followed, these man -made radiation belts eventually caused six or more satellites to fail. As radiation damaged, their solar arrays or electronics, including the first commercial relay communications satellite, TELSAR. TELSAR. Yeah, as well as the United Kingdom's first satellite detectors on TELSAR, TR -AAC, Engine and Area 1 were used to measure the distribution of the radiation produced by the tests.

2:51:04So we fucked up England. Let's get out of there, fucking mind. Pat and say, hey, fuck it. Let's try this. There's so crazy. Oh my god. Oh, wait, look at this. Exposure and outer space to fall out from starfish prime was less than other ground tests, estimate for its health impacts and excess deaths, including from thyroid cancer are hard to find. But overall excess deaths impact of thousands of above ground tests have likely amounted between 10 ,000 and 100 ,000 lives. Just from the tests. That's what killed John Wayne, you know. Oh, is that right? John Wayne and the whole cast of a movie he was on got cancer.

2:51:46And they did these westerns out in Nevada. And what? That's what I meant before when I said Oklahoma, I meant Nevada. Yeah. That's the test went off, yeah. Nevada had a bunch of them. Yeah. That's why they got gambling. I think that's big a deal. The conquer 220 people in the set of the conquer 91 were diagnosed with cancer, including both Wayne who died in 1979 at 72 and his co -star Susan Hayward who died in 1975 at 57. Dude, John Wayne looked a lot older than 72 by the end. That was a different time. Yeah. They didn't have no vitamins. They had no sunblock, no vegetables. It just came out with margarine.

2:52:26Yeah. Margarine is big. You know, the non -stick surfaces, look at the pants were made out of fucking toxins. That was him at the end. 72, look at him. Wow. Rough. Rough time. Dies at 72. The Duke. Whoa, I'll tell you, AI. Quentin Tarantino movie. John Wayne. Last gunslinger. They say when, uh, remember when Brando had the indigenous woman go up and accept his Oscar and she wasn't really indigenous? Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. She was a con man. Apparently John Wayne went ad, they had to physically restrain John Wayne. Oh, he went nutty. Yeah, he went nutty. Yeah, that lady was crazy. Uh, her sisters were not Indian.

2:53:09Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That wasn't her name. Yeah, she was like, outrage John Wayne had to be restrained by six guards during the Marlon Brando Oscar win. I'll tell you what, find out that lady that that lady was not really uh, Native American. Wow. She made it all up. She came up with a fake name. She got up there with the whole poncho on it every. The ponytails. She had the big tail in the brain. The high -end of the Oscars. Bro, she was like one of the first people that like, uh, stole culture. And she spoke in like a broken English too. Yeah, amazing. Yeah, amazing. It's amazing. Yeah, her sister ratted her out.

2:53:48I'm pretty sure it was her sister. Well, that's what's, I mean, talk about. Do you find that story? Pre -Internet like the woman who was ended up like being a leader for the NAACP and she wasn't Rachel Dolezell. She was Jewish. Yeah, you know, back then you couldn't be transracial, but I think that's coming. I think she was ahead of her time. They should said over time. You just, I think you could probably be trans white and no one will call you on it. Trans white is like let him let him be white. That's fine. I identify his white. Okay. No one cares. You know, like no one gets outraged when a woman turns to do a man.

2:54:20You're like, wow, I'm probably shouldn't have done that, but good luck to you. Nobody gets mad. Like you're appropriating male culture. Women get mad when men become women and then want to go in the women's room and appropriate women culture and then join women's groups until women what to do and they're biological males who identify as women. Women get real upset. But if like a biological woman wants to hang out with the guys and wants a pretend to be a guy, you know, like, I want to get on the board. Like no one's threatened. Okay. Frank. Join the board. Point. Who cares? The job thing isn't true.

2:54:52When he gets not true, he didn't rest the stage. Oh, that's fake. While I'm looking for this thing, I found the story saying that they had to debunk it every few years because it kind of comes back up. Maybe he knew she wasn't really Indian. So he didn't charge his stage. Maybe it's one of them Q and on things. So what is the lady though? The story about the lady. That's what I really wanted to hear about. Because that's Kookie. There's a Kookie thing that people do with their pretend. They always pretend to be Native American. Knowing pretends they're Polish.

2:55:22No, I've got Polish roots. Like no one does that. No one does that. No one says I'm Irish. No one says I'm German. Yeah. When you're actually not. You know, some people pretend they're not German. Yes, sure. They have to the war. Yeah. They moved Argentina. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of them. Yeah. In Brazil, this is a community of Brazil. They speak German. Voice from Brazil. Oh yeah. The Argentina thing is crazy. Yeah. Like they had that show Finding Hitler. And they go down there and there's like these people that have like photos of SS troops on their wall. That was grandpa. Uh huh. They wear leader hoset and they have fucking October fest down there.

2:55:53Yeah. Yeah. The Huskate. Fuck. It's crazy. Yeah. It's crazy. They got out. You have the story? Yeah, but I'm making sure it's accurate. That was going around 2022 and then more recently. Because it was a documentary made and someone hired someone to look into all of this stuff. And that's how I was just reading through to see what they found. Because they might have found something that says that there is some sort of length. Yeah, but I'm pretty sure the the gal was uh She had some issues. It was kind of like making stuff up. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. That's fun. Yeah. Wow lady. But she's fun to hang out with.

2:56:33Yeah. Once pretend to be an Indian like okay. Well imagine it. Let's go. Let's go camping. So you really got. Yeah, show me how to start a fire. There's two rocks. How do you do it? How do you guys start a fire? Show me how. Yeah, her sisters are saying she's a fraud. Yeah, her sisters ratter out. Yeah, pull the story up. So we're covered by it. God damn it, ad blockers. It's just that thing of people wanting to be something other than what they are. It's very weird. You know, but the grass is always greener. God, I wish I was a Native American. That'd be so fucking cool. You know, like you pretend you hear things.

2:57:09Shhh. You know? Look there she is. Sashine little feather. What a great name. A lot about Native American ancestry, sister's claim. It's a fraud. It's disgusting to the heritage of the tribal people. And it's just insulting to my parents. She's a nutty lady. She's pretty though too. Yes, she was gorgeous. That's probably how she tricked my own brand. Oh yeah. She probably hot. She rubbed it up against them. It's like I love Indians. A little feather. Why don't you do me a favor? Yeah, go on. That guy was out of his fucking mind. Yeah. Got a nice. Nolan came for 350 pounds. Yeah. Hung out by himself on an island.

2:57:47That's probably why he's so good. You know, you can talk about like original comics. Like he's the original actor. Yeah. You know, streetcar name desire. Watch that movie. Yeah. Like nobody acted like that back then. Well, it was part of that hole. He went to the neighborhood playhouse in New York. And his class at the neighborhood playhouse was James Dean. Paul Newman. Was Paul Newman's wife's name? She was very famous actor as well. Yeah, but remember. It was this one group that started and it was, you know, Stanislauski taught Meisner. Meisner started the neighborhood playhouse. And that whole voice in acting that was based on it's based on listening and answering and being in the moment.

2:58:30And it was about finding emotional truth and coming from that rather than from the dialogue. You didn't study the dialogue and recite it. You found where the emotional truth of where this character was. And then you just unleashed it. And you found the moment in that. And that started this whole kind of like realistic acting. Right. Because before that, they were like, say, get away from my girl. It was all right on the screen. I'll suck you. Yeah. Yeah, right, right, right. Right. Why are you out of? Yeah, they talk so weird back then. Yeah. And they talk fake. It was like fake. Like he was the first guy to like, oh, that seems like he's really experiencing that right now.

2:59:11He's really upset. Yeah. Yeah. And on the waterfront, on the waterfront was incredible. Yeah. It was great. I could have been a contender. I could have been somebody instead of a bum, which is what I am. And everybody was like, whoa, who's this guy? Marlon Brando. James Dean. Same kind of thing, you know, they just broke down on stage that the emotions they had. Yeah. Enumin too in the hustler. Oh my god. Incredible. Amazing. Incredible. That's 1963. That's the year Kennedy was shot. That movie came out. Oh, no shit. I just rewatched it recently. It's fucking dark, man. It's so good. So good. Jackie Glacin was fucking amazing.

2:59:53First guy ever to play a pool player that you could say, like I actually play pool. Right. He's the only one. Yeah. He's the only one where I buy it, hook line and sinker. You watch him play the balls, like that, I can play. Yeah. We call him and we're like, come on. Tom Cruise, you weren't buying Tom Cruise. It's a rude of my tree. Didn't move the ball. You could, anybody can make a straight in shot if you teach him. It's like, can you move the ball? Yeah. How do you move? It takes so long to be able to stroke a ball. To be able to like get out, get draw stroke, like full table, full length draw.

3:00:25Yeah. Put English side spin, adjust for the way it's going to deflect off the other ball, get position on the next shot. That's what I want to say. And you don't see that in movies where a guy's playing pool except for Gleason. When Gleason's making those shots, you're like, that guy can play. Yeah. He's going into the rack. He's moving the ball around. You're like, that guy's a player. He could run 100 balls. Was he based on, was that character based on Willie Musconi or on neither one? No. Minnesota Fats used to be called New York Fats. And he changed his name to Minnesota Fats after the movie.

3:00:58That movie was all about me. Oh no, shit. He was a con man. Oh, it's hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a hustler, a real hustler. Uh -huh. Minnesota Fats was a very good pool player, but not nearly as good as Willie Musconi. Uh -huh. Willie Musconi was in the hustler. He was one of the guys. That's right. He was one of the guys rack in the balls when they had the first big match. But Willie Musconi was like a real world champion pool player. But Minnesota Fats was just a really good player. I heard he was a good gambler. Yeah. I heard that Willie was a better like tournament player and that Fats was a better money player.

3:01:33Perhaps Musconi was just a better player. Yeah. Period. All around. He'd beat him in everything that they would ever play. And there's not a chance in hell that except there's a game called One Pocket. And that was one of the games that Minnesota Fats was an expert at. And One Pocket is a complicated game where like, you know how to play it? No. Okay. So if it's a six pocket table, you have the pocket on the left in the corner. I have the pocket on the right. And you must make all your balls in that pocket. There's 15 balls in a rack, right? When you get to eight balls, you win. That means you won the rack.

3:02:04If I get to eight balls, I win. And so you can make a spot too. Like say, if I'm a better player than you, I say, I'll spot you 10 to 5. You only need to make five balls and you win. I need to make 10 balls in my hole and you win. And so it's all about moving balls around. So you want to keep the cue ball in a position where you can't possibly make a ball in that corner. And you want to nudge balls slowly towards your corner. It's all about not making any drastic moves and understanding how to play the game. Super complicated gambler's game. So a lot of times when people are playing for a lot of money, they like to play this game.

3:02:37The games take forever. A game might take three hours for one game. So if you pot a ball in another pocket, does it stay down? No. If you pot a ball in a side pocket, it comes back up and it gets spotted. If you pot a ball in the other guy's pocket accidentally, that's his ball. Yeah. And then you lose your spot. Yeah, he should play that one day. It's boring shit. Oh, is it? Yeah, you'll go mad. You just take wild shots and then you fuck up and you scatter the rack and then the guy runs out. I have two ADD for that. I need to be moving the ball around. I like to play position on the next shot and then that to the next shot.

3:03:11But it's a very complicated game that like really good players play. In Minnesota Fats, the real New York Fats is a real name. He was Rudolph Wanderon, was his name. He was a really good player at that. That's the gambling game. Yeah. To this day, when guys match up, one of the things that happens, if there's big tournaments, certain guys will show up where these big tournaments are that are just one pocket players. And they try to entice one of these pros into a game of one pocket. Uh -huh. And then they'll bet 50 ,000, 60 ,000, 100 ,000. Yeah. You know about these things. This is a place called the Derby City Classic.

3:03:43It happens every year. I think it's in Louisville still. But these guys go down there and it's like a 10 -day festival where road players just go down and meet each other. They play in tournaments and they try to gamble each other. But like two -day games. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They do fucking math and stay up for three days in a row. I bet. That's what it used to do. These tall dude do, and Fedamines like back in the 70s. They were all real skinny. Yeah. Real skinny and wired and couldn't miss a ball. Uh -huh. No, that's the thing about pool when you play for a long time, you know, in one match, is you just lose focus for a second.

3:04:17And then all of a sudden, it's like golf is the same way. You have to go from hyper focus, totally present, to like relaxing, shooting the shit, listening to music, whatever. And then hyper focus again. Yeah. It's a complicated game. Unfortunately, it's not that popular anymore. Well, you know, it's just video games are too good. It's too easy to entice people into video game land. You mean instead of pool in general? Yeah. If there was nothing but pool, all these young kids would be into playing pool. Because it's so exciting. My daughter is obsessed with pool. Yeah. So I used to bring her when she was like 19 and 20.

3:04:55She was into pool, but there's no fucking pool halls on the west side in L .A. And so she had a fake idea. Isn't there house of billiards in Santa Monica? Closed. Didn't want to go under. Like three years ago. So I would bring her. She had a fake idea and we would go shoot bar pool. And we'd play as a team. And I taught her everything and we would go in and it was so funny because like we'd play against another couple. No, it was two guys. And we'd start shooting and she got pretty good. And you know me, I'm okay. And so we would we would we would win some games. And then she would say something like, oh yeah, my father was saying and then we go, oh thank god that's your father we thought it.

3:05:34I'm so old creeped. So old creep have found some young talented pool player to go under his wing. But that's what she does. She goes out at night with her friends and she just she's like that. That's great. She's like that pool junkie. The one that's all night long hanging around the table. Where she live now? On the west side. Okay. Yeah. Is there places that you can go to? No pool halls. Just bars with tables. God damn. I think there's one in like Brentwood. But that's far. But Hollywood Billiards was the place. Yeah, that place is great. There was an original Hollywood Billiards that I went.

3:06:09The first time I went to LA is in 94. But that place got condemned after the earthquake. So then they moved it to that big place with the parking lot. Yeah. That place I think was like hard to keep up. I used to shoot with Adam Farar over there. Yeah. Sometimes he's a good player. I used to shoot with him in house Billiards and the one in studio city. Is that where it's at? Maybe it's on studio city. Somewhere in the valley there was a house of Billiards. God damn it. I used to do the Monday night tournament there. Oh really? What is it? Is nine ball tournament? Yeah. Sherman Oaks. That's right.

3:06:44Yeah, I used to go there with Dom too. Yeah. Yeah, I shoot with Dom. He's fun to play with. Yeah, that's how Dom and I became friends. Dom and I did a Montreal together in like 93. And then I was at Amsterdam Billiards when it was on the West Side. And I showed up and I had my own queue and I was putting my queue together and Dom and I were air walked in. And he goes, oh hey Joseph, I go, you play pool? He had his own queue too. I'm like, let's fucking play. Yeah. We play for hours. It's up there. Who on that pool? David Brenner. David Brenner. Yeah, stand up comedian. Yeah. So listen dude, let's wrap this up because I got a peek.

3:07:20Your special, it's out. It's called You Know Me. It's on YouTube and you can go to fitsdog .com and link to it from that. I got some tour dates coming up at Denver Comedy Works this weekend. And then. fitsdog .com. calendars up there. calendars up there to coma and told us. Coming weekend, you're at the comedy works which is one of the best clubs it's ever existed. It's so fucking fun. Amazing place. And great history to it and Wendy's the best. Yeah, Wendy Curtis shout out. Shout out to Wendy. All right. Anything else Instagram? Sunday papers and fitsdog radio with a two podcast and childish and you can catch those on my YouTube page as well.

3:08:00Oh, I'm on brother. It was good to see you. All right, you too, man. Thanks. Bye everybody.

3:08:08Yeah.