#2285 - Andrew Schulz

42:23If one of these goddamn things You can make that thing awesome You don't even do anything You have one of these You have one fucking body Yours is a dumpster Yours is a dumpster for potato chips That's crazy When you're talking to these high -function dudes You're talking to Elon Did they value Exercise and stuff like that at all Can he even put that in his day? Elon's a different animal There's no other human I've ever met Like him No, I don't think he exercises much I think maybe a little bit I know he was thinking about fighting Zuckerberg So he did some training Looking straight with Lex and who else Was it Jorstein Pierre?

43:04They put up a photo of it It was George, right? So he trains with one of the greatest UFC fighters of all time Lex Friedman our boy Who is also Brazilian Jiu -Jitsu black belt And I think he just did a little bit of that It was like fuck Shout out Lex man There it is John Donner, the great John Donner The greatest Jiu -Jitsu coach of all time So he was like learning some stuff I'll never forget Lex coming to my wedding Uninvited and blacking out I'll never forget that I'll never forget that Thank you Lex, we really appreciate that In all fairness, it was my fault that he blacked out You forced him to drink I kind of got him a drink And didn't realize the Russian in him Had a might of tone

43:46That Russian With that fucking American bourbon The fuck it was off to the race It was so funny what he was like Yeah, I'm gonna take Lex, I was like oh okay cool Yeah, I like that guy And then I remember seeing him on like a beach chair Just passed the fuck out Oh dude, we had an adventure So we got to Vegas later that night We got to Vegas that night Cause Whitney had a wedding She had a wedding in someone's house Think it was a wedding or a birthday Whatever it was Private party at someone's house Must have been a birthday So we fly from your wedding Yeah, congratulations you Hang out and then hop on a jet You know, it's only 30 minutes to Vegas We get to Vegas by the time we land Lex is lit He was lit at the party So Whitney performs at this lady's house I introduced her I think you did like five minutes I was drunk too, I went up and said happy birthday Whatever to the lady, I forget what it was I'm pretty sure it's birthday And then I bring up my good friend One of the most hilarious comics in the world Whitney come And then she, we get on the plane Or we get in the car to go to the plane To get back And there's no plane They never booked a return flight So we try So we try to get a return flight Because they either got our little Shitty private jet to get there So then we try to get a return flight We cannot, I call my service They can't, the quickest they can do is in the morning Like what do you guys want to do?

45:18So we decide that we're going to get a limo And so have a car service Drive us back to LA So it's a four hour drive Or whatever the fuck it is It's me, my wife, Whitney, and Lex Remember you just sent me videos Of Les Pastel A different part to the casino

45:38That's at the airport That's at the airport He's like that for the last 12 hours He was like that the way he was obliterated I mean he went hard That boy goes hard He goes hard, he makes you want to not drink There's certain people around him Like I think I'm done I think I'm done I think Les people are drinking Well it's really good idea It's a good idea to not drink so much I wonder if the alcohol companies are concerned They're trying to find something He's always going to be drunk I see it, I see it a Beard consumption way down The problem is it's poison Everything's poison Everything's wonderful, lovely poison My favorite poison is wine It's a great poison Do we have a nice little red going on here Do we have any red wine here I want to know what you're drinking There's at least some out there for sure Do you want some?

46:32I mean if you're going to have a glass I'll have a glass I've got to cut way back on my alcohol consumption Oh really? Yeah way way back Every time I go out to dinner I'd have a drink or two Every time I'd go to the club I'd have a drink or two And then one day I sat down I was like that's like four days a week Five days a week That's like a drink or two five days a week How would you feel if you didn't have a drink or two five days a week So I didn't have any drinks I feel like two weeks And I feel a lot better Really? So am I breaking your like streak right now Yeah you would be breaking my streak I don't want to fucking streak up We don't have to drink it then But actually let's break it I don't mind I think the key is like all things It's all about moderation But the reality of alcohol is It's basically poison Yeah but it's got great social utility Oh yeah I feel like people undermine the value of alcohol And how It ain't around for all these years because it sucks And like if you travel You don't get to experience certain cultures In their truest form without them consuming alcohol Right Like if you go into like Ireland you go to Dublin Like during the day there are very different people And they seem kind of like tight and dour And then at night at the pub After like a few Guinness It seems almost cliche But everybody is singing And dancing and there's so much Like love and connectivity And you see why all this great like literature Music and poetry just comes from this tiny little island And you're like Oh wow you really need that Like it is a tough place to live And you've got to stuff everything down And you need to release a valve Same thing with Russia Like when I was in Russia seeing them on the drink On the drink On the drink They're warmer There's warmth in the culture For real we have fancy glasses For that What do you think?

48:21What is 2022 Which one was the one that you just touched Grab that one Where your hand is Yeah So we're going to decide That's the thing How do you like how do you find that balance Where like you kind of need it Old ass wine huh How do you find what balance Just like it allows people To access this part of themselves That they might feel is like a push down Or But the problem is if you use it too much And it's also the problem is like I notice if I drink three or four nights in a week I don't feel good And when I don't drink it all for two weeks And I feel like really good all the time Like what am I retarded?

49:02Why am I drinking? Like I don't need to drink to have a good time But you know when you're at the bar Or at the club or other And everyone's being social and Tony's like Who wants a drink and everybody want a drink And they're like okay cheers It's just about discipline It's just about like if you feel like you're going off the rails Hit the brakes Settle down What are you doing? You got it but a lot of folks don't have any of that Unfortunately And you know they They'll be sober for a long time And then one glass of shard nay later They're doing cocaine And headed to Vegas Who's last freedman Open rails Who does go in passes out That's not true Thank you

49:51Oh This sounds so funny About people passed out It's a funny shit They become children They're babies They're like infants They're just completely on control of their body Yeah you're not even there Hello Look at you out cold This is a weird aspect to people that we have to shut off That's so weird I was just watching this video about this guy Who he did a radio broadcast At Times Square Where he stayed up for eight days Okay And this guy started having crazy hallucinations He was having his REM sleep His REM cycles And his brain were going off while he was awake So he was living inside nightmares Yeah I'll send it to Jamie It was crazy I think Duncan sent it to me It's really walking They say that can induce insanity faster than anything Oh for sure I mean that without a doubt The sleep deprivation Yeah sleep deprivation is really bad for you How many hours you get in late I try to get at least seven Oh wow If you come home But what if you come home late from the club When I do If it's School days especially I get up in the morning I say goodbye And then I'll maybe go back to sleep for an hour So like I'll get up With them you know see them off And then I'll go back to sleep for like one more hour Because I can sleep on the ground dude I can go to sleep on rocks I can just I know how to pass out So like I can go right back to sleep And I'm good Like last night Yeah I had to get up in the morning for a dentist appointment But generally speaking I'm good looking for eight Yeah I like eight Yeah I don't think I've had eight hours I don't think I've had eight hours since I had a kid Oh yeah I didn't either for a while It takes a long time And it's also like Your day is way more occupied Oh It's a completely different Like you really realize how much Your actual time Working on something is precious When you have children because like they just go to bed You know you're like okay I got an hour To get some shit done You know you got one hour You don't have an hour to flip through your phone And check out TikTok You got an hour to get something done And then you got to go to bed And then you got to get up in the morning You got to get up early, you got to help with this Help with that, we're doing this, we're doing that We're packing our stuff in here And okay let's go there and there's a thing after school Remember it's at 430, don't be late Okay, 430 And then you got to zoom over from here And go to the, it's like Your day is so occupied But it makes you more disciplined It makes you more disciplined And it makes you feel more productive Like it's weird Like even going out and like say Having some drinks or whatever Waking up and feeling kind of shitty Without like the kid I kind of feel guilty by halfway through the day I'm like what was I doing?

52:53I'm like fuck that, I'm part of anything But when I'm like up at 7 And I'm fucking tired I'm hungover And I'm with my wife and take care of the baby By 12 I'm like I'm a good fucking parent Like I feel like there's I feel like a positive sensation In the place of this like Guilt ridden one that I would use to feel maybe And I think it's that immediate productivity That purpose, there's this human being You love more than anything That is like deeply relying on you And yeah, I feel, I don't know It's also the kind of love you have With them is just How old were you when you had your first? Yes, I'm 41 so I was Yeah, it's the same thing It's, yeah, it's every cliche It's amazing you spend all this time As a, as a comedian like Thinking of unique or different angles And then you're presented With your child and like Every feeling you have is the most Cleshade feeling That everybody is ever described In having a child Yeah, and then you don't mind when babies are crying on airplanes anymore Dude, it completely Changes everything It is adorable when they're crying on the airplane Yeah, you want to like, you almost want to like help the mom And then you see how when you're a young man And you're like, oh my god, a baby's crying You're like, look for something to cover your ears with That's also a big city thing I feel like, I feel like places that Like country places where they're so used to Where there's family dynamics And like, that's rewarding And I grew up in the city where it just wasn't that rewarded And it's like a rare thing to Even like be a kid in the city Well, especially, um, you be a Your kid in the city And then you go from that to being a stand -up comedian So you're a night time nightclub guy Like the whole baby crying like, oh Jesus Yeah, it's like, whoa Some bad decision -making going on over there Yeah, yeah But it is, I wish that yeah, I would like us to change that A bit I think that's the thing that's kind of missing in like this masculinity movement Is fatherhood I hear a lot of guys talking about Is there a masculinity movement going on?

54:56Apparently on these pods that we do Is that what it is? We're the manosphere dude This is where fucking men hang out I don't think they consider us the manosphere honestly I think the manosphere is like those pickup artists type dudes But that's the thing, none of those guys Have kids or they talk about like what it is to be a man And it's like Buddy, like you're missing out on the most important part of the entire process Like I want to hear the guys who have a bunch of kids telling me what it is to be a man Right Like to me, that's way more valuable And I feel like they're missing out on like the defining moment in a man's life Even bitches have alpha bitches There's like a leader of the bitches Oh, that's fire You know, so they're a leader of a movement Yeah, what kind of movement you're leading, bro Yeah, what kind of movement you're leading Yeah, it is Yeah, you go to an island full of bitches and you can become a gang There's gonna be somebody there Just find out who that head bitch is Yeah, yeah And those bitches are probably easier to lead Oh yeah, for sure That bitch has been leading them Yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah, just It's like I saw once the NN after the election they were talking about us is specific And they were talking about how there is this Network of podcasts that are interconnected that has been financed Like this, this huge Corporate financed network of Black rifle coffee No, it's actually just a bunch of friends you fucking idiots We just happen to do each other's podcast But they're like trying to sort it out They support each other They go on each other's shows And they're all in this together Well, we need that on the left Good luck You guys cancel each other if you're fucking Ukraine flag is too small Yeah Six by six Yeah, you fucking talk shit about each other for not having trans kids You guys are out of your mind You're not gonna you're not gonna sink up together You're in a suicide cult Yeah, I think that was The results of the election I don't think that they would like to believe this But it was a rejection of what was happening I think the assumption is Everybody just loves Trump and he's just this populist And every person voted for him is like I just love everything about this guy But I actually think that a lot of people Which is like I don't like what's happening now Right And this current administration Is saying that they don't want to change much that's happening now Right So I'm voting against that lack of change Right And I think it's important for them to realize that Like I talk about this a lot Especially with Sharla on the pod And it's just like you have to be reflective Like what the people are telling you Like when that the main journey thing happened And the reaction by the people was to laugh at it And they were kind of like But you got to look at that And you got to pay very close attention To what people are feeling Don't tell them what they should feel And you know better And oh, we have to lead them to the water Because they're too stupid to know how to find it No, no, no They are disillusioned by the medical system And if you don't meet them there You're never going to win Ever And I feel like that's At least from talking to Trump That was something that I got from him It doesn't seem like it when you see him On the news and shit But he's like an acute listener Like he listens to what people are saying And he listens more importantly what they're feeling And he can tap into those feelings And I think that that's what people Have had a lot of success in politics Were able to do Barack did it, Bill Clinton did it, probably Maybe the best Bill might have been the best His ability to communicate to people What they were feeling I know you feel pain I do feel pain, Bill I'm here for you You are?

58:42I would love that I'm going to be your leader Yeah, it's You need to listen What I think what Trump's done that's really brilliant Is bringing people like Tulsi Gabbard, Robert F. Kennedy Jr Yeah Bringing those people You kind of really do Get a chance to change things Legitimately change things But think about that decision It's like Those people all echoing sentiments That the majority of Americans feel We do not trust the food Here's the guy who says the food is bad Right Maybe we should put them in control of the food Kind of like a simple thing Yeah Instead of going Well, this guy is the food doctor And we're going to hire the food doctor Because he knows what food is good for you And you guys should just shut up and listen And I feel like there's a lot of this like Top down on the left And I'm not trying to just like Bag on the left I don't care really about that Like I don't even care about the politics I care more about like where the The cultural liquidity is And it's like You can't talk down to people There's this like ivy league Pretentiousness in the democratic party I feel where they're like We know better and just You must be stupid if you don't agree with us And it's like All right, well I'm stupid I'm dumb I'm dumb then So why doesn't somebody meet me where I'm stupid And start at least making me feel like I'm not an asshole for the way that I You know for my I guess You could say political leanings now Yeah, I feel like they need to meet And it's a very simple thing make it a class issue And I think they win And say what you want about America But I think it's better if we have two president Or two people running for president that were stoked about And it's a really hard decision Oh yeah, that would be wonderful Yeah, that's not what we had We had one group of people that legitimately wanted to change things And then we're going to see what happens if they do But you're seeing weird stuff today That you never see before, which is like A real adjustment to the age of the internet One of the things you're seeing is And if you saw the 22 different Congress people Who are all saying the exact same line With the word shit in it What was the line?

1:00:53So it's like it's this speech They're reading it verbatim They're all reading it And doing it to a microphone as if it's a rant But they're all doing from the same script And the shit ain't right The shit ain't right is the beginning When in the history of the United States As a politician said shit And not just one But 22 of them in tape Can you pull it up just as we can see it Because it's so nuts This is think tank politics They have it on screens as tiles And they're all saying the same words They have their own little flair Look at this, put your headphones on This is fucking bananas It's terrible It's okay

1:01:44You won't be able, you can't really tell It's like a crowd But when they had three of them When it was the first three Was like it was Chuck Schumer And someone else They're saying the exact Oh Elizabeth Warren and someone else They're also saying the exact same words Yeah The exact same subjects in the exact same order You guys are all reading off a script And you're trying by putting the word Shit in there to be authentic Well, shit ain't right To be specifically authentic They're like we need to speak to work in class people To the kids And it is kind of like big And in a weird way where like It feels like they're almost in a tank tank Hey listen, these poor dummies They like it when you curse So if you use a few curse words in your speech They're gonna really relate to you And it's like no, no, no, we actually need somebody disruptive We need somebody on the left that is That might speak like that But authentically speaks like that And is willing to disrupt even what's happening on the left Because if you look at like what happened with the trump And the movement, like he disrupted the right The right looks very different now than again If you're five, ten years ago Definitely So I want like Like a mega -democrat Yeah, like for real And what is that like what do we at the At our baseline want right We like abundance Tell me how great America is going to be In your version of it You want to build Clinton Talk that shit Like come out talking shit Bernie was talking shit And I want you to come out and if trump can say We're gonna take Greenland There can be some damn that goes one dollar ex And straight up says we're gonna subsidize it.

1:03:16How would you do that? You subsidize corn, you subsidize dairy, you subsidize everything Like why can't we not subsidize it? But say something that's actually going to impact people Now trump's not going to take Greenland So maybe you don't get the one dollar ex But you get this messaging across that you're actually trying to help people And you're going to have to deal with those lobbies that are bankrolling you And that might piss them the fuck off But that's the disruption we need for us to trust you You know what they really should do What's that? They really should have a strategic plan If we're spending, what is it?

1:03:46350 billion dollars went to Ukraine What was the number? What are they saying it was? I don't know what the number. Some in Saint Just let's just be conservative and say 200 billion Imagine if we spent 200 billion dollars in the United States In all of the crime -ridden cities of the country Just completely overhauling them All right, so here's my concern about that Is how much do they spend in California on homelessness? 24 billion And then like nothing changed right? No, they got worse So maybe we could spend 36 billion So there's also this idea Like the current administration In these places Even with an abundance of money is not going to make change So you need somebody from inside From the left to go hey These people are corrupt on my team We're going to root out that corruption But we are going to take care of homelessness We are going to make eggs cheaper We are going to build fucking 10 ,000 affordable Housing units so that the price of Your rent can go away down There has to be something disruptive Instead of hey, let's just go back to normal Let's not ruffle any feathers I see what you're saying I reject the idea though that Progress can't be had just because People have been corrupt and they've Abused money before I feel like you could farm it off to private corporations The same way we did with Halibur During the Iraq war What did they do with Halibur And got no bid contracts to rebuild Iraq And they did it They actually built all the power plants That didn't need There's a lot of waste and weird shit that went on over there You could do that with the inner cities But you could have You said Halibur and did a good job?

1:05:24No, I'm just saying like they actually did Get paid to rebuild cities So you can get a private sector That would actually make money We could rebuild a rock Instead of it being bureaucracy? You see what I'm saying? Instead of it being something where it's like California They're taking the homelessness Where nothing gets done but money keeps pumping into it No, the only way you get paid is based on results So you have a contract with incentives based on results Yes, and that is the problem You have to lower crime You have to lower crime You have to lower juvenile detention rates You have to improve education scores You have to make food, healthy food Far more accessible It would be very easy to open up Enormous food pantries in the inner city And finance it In comparison, the amount of money we spend on other countries Doing transgender monkey studies Or whatever the fuck we do The stuff they do is not like 20 million dollars To Sesame Street and Iraq It's bananas So if you've got enough money for that You've got enough money to set up food banks In every fucking city Where poor people can get nutritious food Just sign on, have a driver's license Whatever the fuck you need to get your food And what are the downstream effects of that?

1:06:37You have way less health issues Which takes down the cause of health care Also people are desperate because you can actually always eat Which is a real problem with some people in this country What's this about Jamie? What do you pull in this stuff for? They didn't do very good job, apparently I'm sure they probably I said they did do corruption And there was some waste Because I was talking about these power plants But the point is It was a business So you got businesses involved And they went in and they got contracts to do things If you got contracts To re -engineer These communities slowly over time You'd have to do it where it didn't shock the community But slowly over time Unfortunately you'd have to ramp up the law enforcement Because there's going to be resistance If you're going to go to the south side of Chicago And try to clean it up You got gangs in there Shoot in each other every weekend You got real fucking problem But what's the alternative?

1:07:35Let that keep going on forever You can't So you have to rip the bandaid off Have you heard of the guy he's the president I think of El Salvador Oh the guy who made all those camps I'm sure there's tons of I'm terms of tons of criticism One hundred percent But I think El Salvador has become like the safest country And central and south America Yeah there's no criminals And I'm sure it's some like There might even be like a little North Korea ship Where it's like yeah you're not in the gang But like your cousin is and you hang out with him And now you're in his prison and sure Of course but what they've done is Completely like revolutionize the country And if you ask the other people that are not gang affiliated at all There's this like undying support I think he has like a 91 % support rating or whatever that is And it's like these people feel like they got their lives back Now I'm sure as I'm saying There's going to be people going like Oh these are civil rights violations You know what else is also civil rights violation When you're like city is completely run by a gang And you're terrified to let your kid leave the house So like there is a version Where having more punitive measures For people that are breaking the law Will increase safety And the prosperity of the people in that region Like in order to get investment into the south side of Chicago You need to make it safe first Starbucks isn't opening if it's getting broken into every fucking week So yeah it's um Yeah I like that One of the first things you would finance is community centers You finance like a real great community Rec center where kids if their mom's working Yeah Know as they take care of them They got real good coaches there Yeah they got people that can set them up Maybe for potential athletic scholarships They're talented Yeah this is great Maybe you have people that teach you how to play music That's where I went when I was a kid You know I went to the car industry recreation center That's where I played basketball And it was this beautiful place It's amazing oasis where like Not only you getting to play friends You know meet friends and stuff like that But I'm getting it to compete I'm getting to play against guys way better than me And they're these I mean even as I say this right now I'm like I gotta like donate money to Like they created this place Where there was a lot of kids in those programs They might have ended up doing some fucked up shit And they had a place where they could go There was like a safe haven And look at us talking like some libs on this pod Well I think we are liberal Of course we are The biggest misconception of all of this Is that we don't want this place to be better But there have to be certain changes that are made I'm socially about as liberal as it gets And I'm a firm believer In a social safety net too I'm a firm believer in welfare and food stamps I just think there's a way There's a way to address the root of the problem Which is people with no hope And you gotta the way to do that Is you gotta give them hope you have to make it safer For them to live where they live You have to make it healthier for them to live where they live And then I don't think it would cost that much To provide guidance for a bunch of kids that want guidance And if you have good solid role models That know how to do that kind of stuff And they can all work together and build a program And then what are those kids wind up being Like really talented musicians Or really talented athletes or whatever the fuck it is What's happened at the mothership classes Like what's happened in there Like I feel like you create a environment Where these guys can make enough money to survive Which is a very hard thing to do As a fledgling comedian Right?

1:10:53And some of these guys who are door guys They're starting to get spots around Even like some of my guys Like obviously Derek Poston is like Making real money And learning how to flourish as a comedian Instead of working 60 hours at a job And then doing comedy when he potentially can Right And you hopefully get to see this artistry grow Like I've watched Derek explode as a fucking comedian Like this guy's so fucking funny He's so lovable He's so lovable He's got a don't tell coming out April 16th And I've watched this fucking amazing So everybody go check that out But that's the type of environment that I imagine you can curate Now you are very benevolent But you would hope that the government can create that same level of benevolence Without leaking too much money Yeah it has to be done for the right reasons The right way with the right people And that was what we pulled off at the mothership Because I was able to get everybody from California But also I knew that that was the formula Because it was kind of like the heart and soul of the store It was like the people that were the coolest people That were running things over there Bring them over here And it was just The whole thing was so nuts dude It was like the universe wanted it to happen Every light turned green right when we got to it Every light turned it None of it makes sense on paper Yeah If you thought about like the idea behind Dumping a ton of money in a club And your ultimate goal is to break even Who fucking does that And then it also you have to But that's government, government shouldn't make money Right The ultimate goal should be to break even Well your ultimate goal should be Everything is a money venture Right so the club is not a money venture Right The club is an artistic I want it to be like a camp Like camp for comics Like you go there, you're all your buddies are there Everybody is having a good time We're all trade we were all last night Me and Shane Gillis were breaking down That me and Shane Gillis did bottom of the barrel last night For an hour It was the most fun I've ever had Dude we were crying Good Like tears rolling down my face crying laughing And then we're hanging out in the green When we're breaking down this bit And we're coming up with new lines This is like a laboratory It's a hangout We got fucking Gary Clark Jr's playing on the stereo Everybody's vibing, we're laughing Woody Harrelson's hanging out with us We're all having such a good fucking time man It's like that's what I wanted to build I didn't want to build a business I wasn't like whoa if I sell drinks for X amount of money And then I charge this amount for a ticket And fuck the comedians over I did the opposite I made the comedians way more than everybody else pays And looks what happens But that's just to try to facilitate this artist colony I just want it to be a place where This is like the mothership Even as a name like we came up with the mothership Because the first one was the asylum Because Mitty Shore God bless her She always used to say oh the inmates Are running the asylum That was her thing whenever she would come to the store She loved it that we were crazy She loved like you know Dom Barris like Jumping around backstage and everybody's laughing And Joey Diaz telling some crazy story And then Mitty would pull up She'd get out of her car Oh the inmates are running the asylum And I was like if we're going to branch out We should just call it the asylum I like mothership The mothership was better because the first of all The asylum was already taken There's like a couple of different asylum So we couldn't have asylum And then it was like I'm so fascinated with UFOs I'm so obsessed with that shit anyway The mothership is like the place where we all Launch from So when we go all throughout the rest of the country You always come back to the mothership The mothership Yeah there's a like Creating environments where art flourishes Is a So I did kill Tony the other day And it's been a while since I've done like the whole show I came out for MSG That was fun That was incredible Oh yeah it's a good time I was like I told Tony I'm like I'm getting a fur coat I have to get a fur coat So I think I talked to you the day before you're like You getting a fur coat I got a dead shot You texted me stuff that you're like yeah I think I'll wear this My boy Phil found this dude who's a private shopper And he found the spot to go He's like one of them celebrity shopper dudes And he found me the spot And I was on it And I'm watching the like in the interviews The interviews are really fun like a lot of these comics are really green And they're going in there and trying to find something But like the interview portion And I'm probably saying something that everybody already knows But when I watch Killton I'm watching it in clip form So I'm seeing like these like 60 second versions Right But what I thought was really interesting about the interviews Is there's a real generosity with Tony I don't know if even the comics realize this He's trying to get you to write your first good joke He's asking you questions where you don't have to be funny But they are funny because you're just speaking truthfully Right And it is generous It's easy to just like you could bang on every single one of the people that go up there Right But that's not exactly what's happening Sometimes of course people are going to get jokes But there's this moment where like you get to watch some of these guys Like hopefully they're realizing they're like Oh I am, oh that is a kind of funny thing about me And that's like the first kernel of like where they'll write their first good joke Yeah And it's a really cool thing to witness And yeah there's a couple guys that went up And like there's one guy like his joke sucked But he had something Like I just kept watching him And I was like you're gonna be good Like I hope you keep doing this Because you're gonna be good And like we started asking the questions And just this Mexican guy from San Antonio And he works at like office depot And there was something funny about like Hold on so like there was like something about like You know he's selling like papers And it's like oh so there's like a Mexican guy Like people are asking for paper Like there's just like there's all these like Like it seems like a setup So but It was just really cool to see it happen And like it reminded me these early stages of comedy Where you're putting together these things that you think are funny And funny is kind of already existing in you And um yeah It was just like it was a cool aspect of the show That I'm sure the people that watch it And this is massively successful show So they're familiar But maybe the people that don't watch it Aren't don't know about the show They just think Tony's just roasting people And it's he's not it's a very generous thing to do Yeah it is Well Tony loves comedy And loves comedy to the point Where he's always writing lines for people backstage He's always like giving people tags And he's always talking about Did you do that bit?

1:17:36Like I love that bit Like he's a super supportive Yeah with comedy and he loves When the guys who do his show Like William Montgomery When they start to flourish They start killing it on the road He loves that He's actually put together a tour now The killers of Killtony I've seen it and they're doing like fucking theaters Yeah and they're killing These guys are good man Ari Maddie is fucking good I was talking to him yesterday man He's fucking smart He's funny, he's super ambitious He's great, he wants to be an American so bad He's a fun hang He's got great perspective on stuff also You know he's an MMA fighter I remember seeing For three times Wow, wow, he's a big guy too But like yeah remember Like he even had a joke yesterday Whatever it will come out But like it was funny like he tapped into something At the end of the bit that he did When he does the minute And then in the interview It really became The thing Because what you get to watch is like He's like a veteran comic Like he's probably been doing it 10 or 12 years So like you get into real Comedian mode around 10 And you got to witness Live what we do backstage Which is like yeah I like that idea Why did you do this?

1:18:50And he said a line at the end of When we're just doing the interview That I think is going to be What this joke builds out I don't want to give it away I have to say people go watch it But to me like that part of the process is so fun And it is, I don't know if people know this about It's like it is really fun To like work on someone else's bit Like there's almost like more freedom Because you're less attached to it You know like if you have something And you're like telling me the idea Like you're attached like a direction for it And I'm just coming from all these other places And what if my tag bombs, it doesn't matter You're the one going to do it But it is this exciting thing when you have a kernel And yeah, this moment happened with it And you can even see him go oh shit Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the next level of it Yeah, anyway Did they emerge, right?

1:19:36The new chapters in your bits New paragraphs, they emerge And for me it's like I need to talk to get it out And I'm not like a sit at home And like I write the ideas Like I need to... I need to be like yeah, I got this idea And what do you think about this? And then you have to like give me pushback on it And then confronting that pushback is like Where the bit develops for me Right, right, right And that's the beauty of like the audience not laughing Well that's why you like New York City When you moved to Miami you were like I told you it's too nice to me It was like life was beautiful Everybody was caring about family and everything And it was just so comfortable and I was like I didn't have any like resistance That's so funny Like I'm used to that chaos I need the opposite What do you mean?

1:20:19Your whole life is resistance You're in the sauna with people People I just... I don't want to deal with people's bullshit That's my own bullshit deal That's my ice bath Yeah, there it is You just got to play and grind it out I do 30 minutes on the sixth string Right, bro, we better have a bullet proof of us Yeah, yeah the uh Anyway, what were you saying about like hope That it is interesting And I see like I see that for comics especially here There's this idea of like getting on the show And seeing a pathway to success It's a real pathway It's a real pathway to a career And you've seen many many many people go through it Like Cam Patterson, David Lucas These guys all have careers now Yeah, he had a funny bit too Like Cam's funny Yeah, he's funny I think there's a little bit of a hindrance in that one minute a week Because it's like you spent so much time Working on that one minute that maybe you don't spend enough time Tightening up So that's one of our hour Whatever you have when you're on the road I was like what you give this minute out And it goes out to the whole comedy world And I, that's what I was asking I was like can you still do those bits?

1:21:27Like because some of these aren't finished They're just the fucking beginning of it Right, right Don't let those go Like, right build on them As long as you're building on them As long as you got more to it And it's better now I think people want it I think that also there's this understanding That those guys are on the come up And they're putting it all together And I think there's a certain amount of times You do it where you got to eventually leave I say that but then there's William Montgomery Who does it every fucking week William's got this style that even if his jokes suck It's funny because it's even because he gets angry He gets angry at himself He gets angry at the crowd And then he gets funny bro have you been seeing Brian Holtzman lately?

1:22:05No no no no Oh my god He's the sweetest guy by the way He's so different than his on stage monster The on stage Brian Holtzman He needs a name and a different thing There's a different human that comes out when he's on stage You would think that he's a complete psychopath in real life And he's just the kindest sweetest guy Wonderful I love him to death He's all hugs and joy and smiles And he's always helping people Into a detriment Like one of the things about his shows We've had to like stop some of the people That he allows open for him Because it's people that haven't done comedy And forever and still know him Like you think I could do a set Sure come on back And then they eat dick for 10 minutes And the crowd gets tortured So Adam had to put the brakes on that But he himself is on fire On Shane and I were crying laughing Watching his set last night I mean crying laughing Shane's so funny He had the ox cord last night at Bitsies And like I didn't know who was putting on the music Because it was just this like Random collection of music And then this Betty Wopsong comes on Right And I want you to be mine again And I look over at the bar And I just see him cut a mouth in it This motherfucker got the ox That's hilarious He was locked in Yeah we all have good green room soundtracks Oh yeah That's a big thing I don't think anybody would guess your green room music Like if they walked into your green room And they heard the music playing There's nobody that would go Oh yeah Joe picked this song Yeah maybe nobody It might be one or two songs that pop up 90s like deep cut rap Yeah Like deep like K -R -S -1 Right right right Kooji rap in the brand new heavies I remember the first time I came down here And it was like blasting and I was like I'm looking around like nobody's old enough to even know Kooji rap in this green room And I just see you like pop Getting ready to fucking go on You just Yeah man That's right with brand new heavies Is my favorite before I go on stage Song I don't know Oh man you don't know that song No I don't think so So the brand new heavies And I found out about this song I teared up when I was talking about Mitzi earlier Still What were you thinking Oh just her What was it Just her saying You know all the inmates run the asylum It just makes me cry Why Cause that lady was Like all the shit that I do At the club Like I learned how to do it from her Yeah Like you learn how to like facilitate comedy Like to help comedy grow I learned it all from her Yeah all of it Kind of cool how people exist through us You know like obviously She's passed but That's why the bar's name Mitzi Yeah but the effects live on I want to name the whole club Mitzi If I didn't want to get sued by the family They would I don't think they would assume me But no they let me actually use the name for the bar Yeah But and we have a picture of Mitzi in the bar too What was your guys relationship like Well I mean she was still lucid when I met her You know I met her in 94 And she was like super supportive She just like You know She just knew what to do man Like she knew how to set you up And if she liked you she would put you on after murderers Yeah I had to follow Martin Lawrence in the main room For like Like fucking weeks and weeks at a time If Martin Lawrence was gonna headline I was gonna go on after What is the year 94 -95 Okay so you got to understand Martin Lawrence People forgot Martin Lawrence Let me tell you right now go watch you so crazy Martin Lawrence Go watch Def Comedy Jam The greatest hosting Def Comedy Jam ever His timing but his performance is when it's his hour His timing His energy Infectious Oh he was so good He was so good And I used to eat Going on after him every night And Mitsy no matter who was there Dice Clay, Rogan you're on after Dice It's like whoever the fuck it is I'm going on after him That was yeah She just knew how to throw you to the wolves man She knew how to like show you that your act is bullshit There's a couple guys Like a tell did that for me in New York Like I would close the late show at the seller And a tell will go up and then I would go up after him And like that shit will turn you Into a man You know humble you You just realize when somebody's operating on like every single cylinder firing And you get up after it and you're like oh wow I'm missing something He has something that I don't have and I need to find that shit When you're going up in like the cushy spot second or third And you're killing you think you're the funniest in the world And then when you follow something that like levels the room And the whole room is kind of unsure If he's just like inventing these things in the moment If these are bits like They just get caught up in this like tornado creativity And you got to follow it In that shit, following him, following Mike Britt, following Greer Like following these guys that are just like masters Yeah it just turns you into a man That's why I started taking Joey on the road with me because I couldn't follow him Really?

1:27:24Yeah Yeah you love hard shit You fucking love making your life difficult It's not even making your life difficult It's realizing like you're trying to get you're not as good as you're ever going to get at this You have to get better You have to be challenged How to get challenged You know that you're going to follow Joey Diaz every night Three nights in a row, two shows on Friday, two shows on Saturday I feel like this is something that There's a lot of importance this I don't know if comedians are doing this all the time But like your openers that you take on the road with you Like they should really be pressing you They should set the tone of the show And they're going to set the expectation of the show I think sometimes people want to save the day That's weak That's that same bitch ass feeling Like I hope the guy after me bombs That's the same bitch ass feeling I want the audience to have a great fucking time So I want everybody to kill I loved when I get the message Or like tagged in a post on Instagram And it was like all three of them were fucking great And it's like And also like I understand what it means probably for them Because I've been in maybe that situation where you're like holy shit Like yeah they're bringing me up with the show Right And they're in a tougher spot than me You know they're going up hosting People are walking into an arena So to kill that room to like command attention While people are walking down in aisle And Derek's a perfect guy for some fun Oh yeah he's got so much energy And he's so good at fucking around And he's so good at like And Mark too is just fucking like crushing And like seeing them go up there and like really lay in Like hearing it before I go up Like that's the fun thing Like I'll be locked in my room But then when I come out like a few minutes before Just hearing them light up Yeah you got to take strong guys man Yeah and it's the people Have the weird fear of being Eclipsed that's the thing It's fear being eclipsed while you're opening act But you'll get better You're good like you're headlining Like you're clearly good at this And it's going to make you better when these guys Bust you a fucking ass sometimes Yeah maybe you're not working as hard as you should be working Maybe you're not at your best And nothing will make you work harder than being embarrassed Right also I don't know how you operate but for me I'm funnier if I'm having fun So if I'm hanging out with you know Ari and Duncan and Joey And we're all doing a show together We are laughing our fucking ass off And that comes out on staging Oh yeah And I'm laughing at Joey before I even go on stage Sitting there laughing And it's back before I get up there So I go up there I'm already in a great fucking mood Yeah and the audience feels like They didn't get robbed You know you didn't like throw some scrub up there for 20 minutes Just to fill time so you can look at a superhero Yeah it's like they're paying money man I keep thinking about that Like all these people that come out to a show It's not just the ticket price It's the babysitter It's the Uber, it's the dinner Like this is an expensive fucking knife for them And then looking forward to it You might only get one date night a week Especially if you have family Bro I was in a I was in Not Seattle like What's the other one in Washington It's not Tacoma Something more inland Forget there's a comedy club out there Spokane, Spokane This is years ago and I did a show And like a couple came up afterwards And they were like This is our first night out in 8 years Whoa And I think about that every single time For it on stage That's a good thing to think about That's a good thing to think about Like those people that are like Really, but you don't think things for granted anyway Some people get a little sloppy You get a little loose And you take things for granted No man We were talking about that on stage Or in the green room the other night What he was backstage like you guys getting nervous I'm like I get nervous for every show If I don't get nervous I don't do as good I get nervous I get nervous for everything important And every show is important Like it's not important like my life depends on it But it's important to me It's important to the audience I want to do it right So I want to figure out what I'm working on I want to sit on my like I got to be loose with this because this thing is still in development So let's fuck around with that a little bit But we're gonna bring it back with this And I'm going over my phone sitting back there before I go up there I'm ready If you don't do that I don't think you every you achieve what you're trying to achieve Yeah I feel like sometimes people be like I don't know if they pretend to not care Or maybe like they think not caring is cool Yeah that's what it is Carrying is cool I really can't I work really hard And I think that you should work really hard I want to make really great stuff I'm proud of And I don't want to just be like Oh it's fucking gay to care It's not gay to like have people come out And spend a lot of money And then you just fucking flop on stage And I'll give a fuck It's cool to like try to give them the best possible show Yeah That's cool It's just this is a thing because you do care So you try to pretend you don't because the cooler people don't care The cooler people you just bomb I remember I watched Bill Hicks bomb once And I was so goddamn impressed I was so first of all He was very funny But the stuff that he was talking about was so out there He went on There was this comedian Very nice guy Who went on before Bill Hicks His thing was comic on a Harley That was his name like his thing I forget Larry something comic on a Harley Nice guy funny guy But he did like a lot of stuff about like bugs, bunny, smoke, and weed Like real simple stuff like But it like made people laugh Cops and donuts like cliche shit But good like and killed And like just good enough for this blue collar crowd at next comedy stop And then Bill Hicks goes on stage And he's smoking a cigarette And he's talking about I came here to fill you up with ideas You couldn't possibly imagine on your own Like And then How did the Boston crowd take that They didn't take it good at all He didn't just bomb He cleared the room And he was doing this bit where Satan has sex With John Davidson Who is the host of that's incredible Like Satan is Fucking John Davidson And then Impregnates him And then he shits out I forget who he shits out Different people at different time But he's like He's sitting on a toilet on stage Pretending he's sitting on a toilet Grunting And then he looks up at the middle People are getting up and droves It's generally clears the room And it cuts right back to it But I mean Never lost his timing Never lost his composure And it wasn't that it wasn't funny It was me and Fitzimmons were in the back of the room Me and Fitzimmons were Greg from back in Boston Greg and I started a week apart from each other We've been friends since we were like I was 21, I think it was 22 or 23 Yeah Yeah, we've been friends from the very very beginning Yeah So Greg and I were both open micers At the time And we just knew that Hicks was coming and we wanted to watch And we sat in the back of the room We were fucking crying Crying laughing So there was like 50 people left 10 comics, 40 savages Just thought this guy was genius And then the other 200 plus people They all left 200 is crazy to leave Bro it was a blood bath Half the crowd, more than half the crowd left Yeah It was like three quarters of the crowd That's a large percentage It wasn't much left But Fitzimmons and I fondly talk about that day Like he never lost his cool He almost like I don't know when he knew he had pancreatic cancer Cause he died a few years later But he kind of seemed like a guy That Whatever the fear of bombing And whatever This thing of failure That wasn't on his mind I didn't bother him When you have limited time I wonder if that's what it was I don't know if he knew already But he was so calm up there But funny Very funny But just he changed the way people wanted to do comedy Cause everybody after that wanted to be profound Nobody wanted to be profound before that They just wanted to get big laughs And also everybody wanted to be profound It was interesting He became like this poet You see trends like that pop up Stylistically people are so influential That it changes the way people do their comedy And it's tricky because You can only be great at the thing you do That's how I feel at least about it If you are profound And then profound comedy is popular Then you will be really good at it But if you're a silly goose It's not worth trying to be profound Because you being silly Is going to be the best version of you And the people will appreciate that the most Also you can't trick people They know Even if they're not aware of it They know something's off Yeah, something's off That's the honesty in it There's brutal honesty in it Sometimes they'll even laugh But they know that you're lying Yeah They know that it's not real It exists for maybe 10 -15 minutes But I think it kind of gets exposed Once you get into those hour long sets I can for sure You got to be who you are Right It has to gel together with you You have to be into what you're doing If you're not into what you're doing You can't say the same words With the same inflection Without the same mindset Like if your mindset is off They fucking know, man It doesn't matter what your timing is They know They know you're not locked in So they're not locked in Like how come you didn't bring me in You know Like when someone's killed And like last time when Holtzman was killed And me and Shane were laughing We were locked into whatever this psychopath was talking about He was talking about drowning people And like He's so out of his fucking mind It was so funny Yeah It was so funny But you give him that You let him take your mind for a ride If it's real to them I think that's the thing about Joey That I've always admired Is like It's pure, it's authentic You can kind of get away with whatever you want If it's pure And when we know you're faking And you're doing something that makes me feel uncomfortable Now I'm double uncomfortable I can be uncomfortable if it's real to you Yeah I can sustain that Like you might be talking about some shit that makes me feel a little weird But it's real to you so I go, okay I'm gonna rock with you on this This is a pure version of your art But yeah, you don't want a lot of people, man Yeah Also, if you do it, then you're stuck Now that's how you do art You lot of people So you're always trying to like Concoct some new Fucking weird Version of yourself What's gonna sell more You're a pop music star now Like what he's That's what you're like You're like doing pop music comedy But there are people that like get attached to what works Yeah And then they can't run away They're like scared to run away with it And I kind of empathy for it because it's like you probably struggle for so long You find something that works and you're like okay Finally, I'm able to make some money Finally, I'm able to have some security But you've got to keep growing past it I think generally those people are self -obsessed too In a bad way Where they think about themselves And success rather than the thing they're doing Like what is the thing I'm doing The thing I'm doing is I'm trying to create something that's good That works I'm trying to make it the best version of whatever fuck it is So how do I do that You can't be thinking about yourself and do that That's why thieves can't write Because the mentality being a thief is I want that idea for myself It's not like how to create You're not addictive to creating Which is like the cool is part about this You get to create whatever the fuck we want And if you get to a point Like luckily where you get a couple bucks in the bank Those creations should be even more specific to you Because you're not doing it So you can buy another house Because you truly spent 20 years of your life trying to get good at something And then you can create whatever the fuck you want And also those new things Those new things that pop out They feel like gifts from the universe Like a new bit that's a banger It's like where did this come from?

1:39:46This came from the universe That should exist before you That's why I always try to say like comedy is there And then we combine it You're not making it And when you're making it, it feels too contrived But the comedy exists Probably got a piece so bad Let's pause real quick Are we back in? Yeah, we're back Comedy is great Comedy is the best job on earth for us For us I was trying to talk Woody into doing it last night Because he was thinking about it Because apparently he said I will 100 % help you He goes, would you really? I go 100 % I go, if you want to do comedy I'll get you time I'll work with you on material I'll get guys to help you I'll work with you You could totally do it If you could do that monologue on SNL You could do stand up Brave for that monologue Brave guy Because he has a lot to lose Perception wise like maybe he doesn't care But that's where like bravery comes in Like when you got nothing to lose It's like yeah you can kind of say whatever the fuck you want Doesn't really matter He's kind of grandfathered in Oh really?

1:40:51He's Woody Harrelson But you don't think it could affect him at all Yeah he could But I don't think anymore I think the world's kind of woken up The fact that first of all He's accurate Like you really can't attack what he's saying You know so like You don't think he should be saying it Okay well that's kind of debatable And that's on you I think you can say whatever the fuck he wants in that regard Yeah Because it's like at this point Who doesn't think he's accurate Like you're in denial if you don't think he's accurate This is a problem that Democrats have right now What's that? Is that the Trump administration What they're uncovering with doge Like all this waste and fraud And abuse whatever you want to categorize it as And I'm sure there's a bunch of things that fall into different categories But the Democrats aren't acknowledging that it's a problem at all They're not saying when you find this building in San Antonio That they spend two billion dollars on it It's completely empty And it's getting a million dollars a month Or whatever the fuck it's getting And where's that money going?

1:41:49Yeah the tricky thing about this The doge thing is like I don't think there's any American out there That is supportive of waste, fraud and corruption It should be a bipartisan issue Right? Like it's a very easy thing to get on board with Right And this is where I feel like I feel like Elon's been a little antagonistic I have a lot of respect for Elon, don't get me wrong But like it's becoming easier to be a bipartisan issue In the way that it's communicated Whereas like having that like Political decorum Like having that ability to pull everybody into this thing Might be a little bit more effective On an issue that we can all get behind There's no American that wants waste fraud and corruption I hate that this is becoming bipartisan It drives me fucking crazy Because on the surface nobody wants the waste Like both Democrats should be So this shouldn't be, they shouldn't be booing Or whatever the fuck was happening at that Like hearing last night, even hearing He was like addressing the Senate This should have been union It should be everybody going Hey, we agree this is fucked up This is happening in some of our Regions or whatever it is Like you're responsible for those constituents What's that called?

1:43:04If you're a congressman, you're district We need to be better about this We need to fix this, we gotta take this on the chin And we agree And it could be this great revolution in America That could really support everybody And it's become this fucking bipartisan issue I understand there's like a lot of currency And like making the opposition look radioactive I get that But this is where you wish that there was like There's some sort of masterful communication version of this Instead of a little bit more of like this Like putting the knife in and twisting a little Yeah, no I agree I agree on both sides I think people are really foolish Spending all their time Just attacking the ideas of the other party Instead of promoting really good ideas of your own Amen And the thing about this whole doge thing is It's such a lightning rod And one of the reasons why it's such a lightning rod It's because these politicians Are being pressured to try to keep a lot of this spending Because a lot of this spending is It's all shenanigans Let's move it around Thousands of different NGOs And you're talking about billions And billions and billions of dollars That we're going somewhere So as people are profiting People have jobs And they want to keep all those jobs They want to keep that money flowing Even the bullshit money as much as they can So there's fucking court orders And there's lawsuits And the Supreme Court just stopped To a 1 .9 billion dollar freeze on something Or something that just came up It was today So there's like legal battles about all this stuff You're going to have a lot of confusion In that regard But I think it's important One of the things they're doing is They're highlighting the ridiculous things Like they're highlighting the $250 million on transgender animal studies Yeah 4 .7 trillion that they can't account for The way that he was saying it Did you watch it?

1:44:53I mean it's hilarious Oh, you got to watch him talk about it I'm sure it's amazing and I will I just didn't have, I was busy last night But it's like There's also a way To really clearly express to people That there's legitimate use for aid And that this isn't really US aid It's United States Agency for International Development If you're worried about foreign aid I fully completely agree We should spend money In third world countries building wells We should spend money trying to get food To poor people And that's not what this program is about And if it's about like There's exercise and care for people And providing free clinics for people And impoverished areas Yeah, we should spend on that But also that's not where this money's going A lot of this is regime over throwing money This is regime change money A lot of this is like money that's being propped up They're sending money to the Taliban Every fucking week Like this is crazy Like you have to understand what this really is So what we have to do I think as Americans Is look, you got a president He's your president whether you like it or not That's your president for four years Let's hope he does a great job Wouldn't you want him to do the great job He's the captain of the ship and I want to hit the rocks Let's hope he gets us into a beautiful harbor Absolutely So together that doesn't mean the Democrats can't win in four years But you can't win doing this You can't win all saying This shit ain't right And then all of you say the exact same thing Well now I know who's on the take Now I know who's got the script Now I know who doesn't have a fucking mind of their own You have to read the script that Whatever corporate daddy Filed on to your desk It's think tank politics They need a real leader And those real leaders are all pussyounds And they're all gonna, that's the problem

1:46:43They all got skeletons Yeah, it's got to come from outside Yeah, I've wondered like Or they got to be a guy like Trump who could take the hits That's and keep on trucking You need to have like a very strong constitution to do that I don't understand his constitution And you go through the same shit Yeah, but here's his beyond They shot him dude Yeah, they haven't shot you Not only did they shoot him Not only did they shoot him But not only did they shoot him But people forgot about it in two weeks Yeah And to this day He didn't get shot enough Like people were talking about his fear But it doesn't look that shot And it's like There's so many people that think that he rigged it That he did it on purpose That he staged it Yeah, he staged like a bullet coming up Nicking his ear Like they don't understand accuracy Especially with iron sights You know, he didn't even have scope on the rifle So you know what iron sights are Okay, so like say if you have a pistol And the back of the pistol Where the handle is Oh, the little thing that you're supposed to look through Yeah, then there's a little post At the front and you align the two of them up like that Yeah, and shooting 140 yards with iron sights Like you can't just nick someone's ear You'll hit their fucking head You'll blow their brains out accidentally How much you have to account for gravity at that distance You don't That's really short That's why you can like put the post on it If you wanted to go long distance Then you would want a scope You want a high -powered scope And you would also use ballistic software So ballistic software is like you would apply Like there's like a watch that has it built in actually The Garmin Tactics X Tactics 8 rather So you would take this ballistic software You calculate the distance So you would use a rangefinder Which he had by the way He had a fucking right He was walking around with a rangefinder before They saw him with a rangefinder They didn't even arrest him Somebody let him on that roof They fucking gave me that gun That's what I think The rangefinder would say 500 yards So then you would set your site for 500 yards And then it would just accordingly When you're looking Your application With some scopes You can actually sync up your scope With your app So it'll put the reticle It'll put the crosshairs Exactly where you need to aim For the bullet to drop Exactly, exactly That makes sense So the reticle, the X would move up and down Accordingly, yeah, exactly But at that distance you're saying that there isn't too much No, and he's also elevated It's a straight shot Maybe it's a very slight drop Because it's only like a milliseconds before it hits him It's a very slight drop at that But when you get to like significant distances Like 400 yards 500 yards, it's a factor Like you hold high Like say if you have So if you're zeroed Say if I'm shooting a deer And my rifle's zeroed at 100 yards That means at 100 yards It shoots exactly where that crosshairs is But the deer's 300 yards A holder at the top of his back And then it's gonna drop This is with bows or this is with bows And then with bows I imagine it's even more With bows you have to be very, very sure Because there's so much drop There's so much drop Yeah, there's so much drop I have a rangefinder There's not just a rangefinder It's called a full draw It's a loophole, full draw five And what it does is it doesn't just put the reticle And tell me the exact distance So as I'm not aiming with this This is just giving me the distance But it also shows me a line Where the peak of the arrow height is Because the arrow arcs So what I'm doing is I'm shooting through trees sometimes Like I'm trying to shoot an animal And I'm shooting through a gap in the trees So you have to make sure that on the drop It passes through that gap in the tree Exactly Exactly Like there's a video of me hunting with cam We're hunting in Utah And it was for underarmor Back when he was with underarmor And I had to shoot this elk Through trees I shot it through like it's a video You can see the arrow go Right through this hole It's a one of the most beautiful shots I've ever made And I made it on camera Because I was kind of freaking I got a hunt on camera Like hunting is a big thing for a celebrity to be doing your hunting But you're also going to hunt on camera And you're going to hunt on camera with a bow and arrow So I was like super locked in And it was just perfect It was just magical how that arrow went Right through this gap Just thread the needle Right in the heart It was perfect shot Like exactly where you're wrong Right behind the shoulder Right up here Double lungs in the top of the heart And then you got to carry that bitch Yeah, well you got to chop it up first You're not carrying it too big That's the thing that I never accounted for I was watching, I don't know if it was some video you posted Or maybe it was cam But like I always thought about the hunting part Like okay, let's find it, let's track it, let's shoot it But I never thought about getting home with all the meat Oh yeah man That seems so It's very hard And what we do is way easier than what some guys do Some guys do public land solo backpack L content So they're throwing the shit in the backpack They have a pack so they'll take like a pack Like a great pack is like exo mountain gear So a great company that gets packs And they have different frames based on your height It's all made so you can carry a lot of weight on your body A lot of it sits on your hips And it's all like Oh it just plays into your weight so you're not going to die It's geniusly and if you say pull up like exo mountain gear Backpacks Like they have specific packs that are designed So you can carry a hundred pounds on your back Right Like as comfortably as you can But it's fucking brutal So these guys might hike in So that's what it looks like So see how these packs So get those pictures of those guys When they have it on their back Jamie The one above that So that's what it would look like for two dudes Who are carrying their whole camp on their back So they probably have their tent in there They have their sleeping bag in there They have food in there for a week Like you got freeze dried food generally speaking Guys bring like mount Like there's a bunch of different meals Like mountain ops Or not that not mountain ops Like there's like a bunch of different companies So like this is a guy like carrying an L -quarter on his back That motherfucker probably has a hundred pounds on his back right now Because he has his bag in his pack Which is probably 50 pounds And then he has a giant ass elk leg on his back All right so is there ever like a distance That they deem too far Because walking back with the elk It wouldn't be worth it So like I imagine you're tracking for a while It's not like you just walk in and they're all the elks You have to find them But you get lucky and find them a couple of miles in And that's pretty nice But if you're one of those I'm not going more than five Because five back carrying the elk would be too difficult Yeah some guys do that But some guys are hard fucking horrible Like they'll kill an elk 25 miles in And spend three days bringing it back And now you have elk carcass You have all the other animals that also like string it up in an elk You got string it up in a tree So getting it, it's like, what is that old man in the sea?

1:54:13Is that the book? Where like he gets the, he finally hunts And gets this big fish But he's got to bring it back And by the time he brings it back it's just like a skeleton Nobody believes he got this amazing big fish Like you don't ever think about the journey back Yeah That seems almost more stressful Well the right with the best way to do it The backcountry if you have the money is horses They have horses take you back there And the horses will pat or mules Yeah, they can pat them up Yeah, they'll keep your camp on their back And you'll have like several like a train of them And then you could load them up with like elk quarters And then take them back And for them it ain't shit It's thousands of pounds, right?

1:54:54Well it's not really How much is it elk? It's about four hundred pounds of meat Oh, because you're leaving the bones and everything You're leaving a lot of it, you cut it up But you got to take some of the bones Like you want a rib, right? You could have the ribs Most guys like, most guys cut the rib meat out Out of the ribs and you grind it Make hamburger or chili out of it Or things like that Cam, he like makes strips And then chops those strips up Like you can, there's a lot of different things You could do with with rib meat It's pretty tender, it's good It's real good when you cook them like slow Over a fire though It's not like it's not the most tender meat Like when slow over When you cook them over a fire it can get pretty tough Unless you do it like real low And slow like smoking it almost Like it'll do barbecue But it makes great hamburger But like the real, the The whatever it really loves Is like the back strap That's that, that's like essentially That would be like the filet The filet, right?

1:55:55And then the quarters You make great steaks and you could make What are these guys doing when they age out of this Like what is it? Yeah, you try not to Keep working out But like, like an NBA player eventually reaches the end of his Professional playing ability You might play it in a gym But like, what does a Cam do at like 75 He'll have to be bow hunting at 75 But hunt a different thing No No, he'll be doing the same thing There's physical limitations I imagine There are but not as much anymore Because you can warm up a replacement Weightlifting You know, like Guys like me didn't exist 30 years ago Like 57 year old Jack dudes They didn't exist By the time you got 57 Oh that shit's gone And all that shit goes away I still have 30 year old arms They're still legit They were real good Everything works real good But you have to Maintain yourself, take care of yourself And if there's something like that that you care about Like I have a friend Brendan Burns who runs KU It's like a huge outdoor clothing company He's a hardcore bow hunter One of the best bow hunters in the world Was a big time college wrestler Like a great athlete Won't even try jiu jitsu Because he's the one who heard himself for hunting Everything is built around He's like I'm not skiing I'm not fucking around, fuck that I feel like that's my whole workout regimen Is just so I could play this sport called paddle It's not pickleball, it's called paddle What is this?

1:57:29It's a racket sport that I'm absolutely obsessed with I swear to God It's starting in Acapulco, Mexico And then it goes to Spain And it gets blown up there And it's essentially like squash and tennis mixed together So there's There's walls, there's like this class wall in the back And these like fences on the side Have you heard of this Jamie? Yeah, I played with them Yeah, we played, I'm dragging them out Bro, it is, it is the most obsessed It's the fastest growing sport in the world right now It will take over tennis I probably am the only person That is talking about at this level This is Shadow Paddle House in New York They got one in Williamsburg and one in Brooklyn And this is the game This is the game, I'm so bad Are you playing with tennis balls?

1:58:08So you play with a deflated tennis ball So what essentially what it is You got to show highlights because I'm so fucking horrible That it's not going to do a justice But the idea behind it is, at least for me Is there's always hope So the ball gets past you and tennis you're cooked The ball gets past you and paddle It bounces off that back wall And you're playing it off the back wall So you're never fully out of the game And you're constantly, it's, my, it is the only thing Outside of like surfing And boxing and then comedy Where I'm not looking at this What? It is, no guy went out the door Oh, you're allowed to leave and go get it Yeah, I mean it's just Dude, I was down in Miami There's been called the Reserve Cup, Shoutout Reserve House How I not know about this This is the, I'm telling you, this will extend my life by God bless 10, 20 years Really?

1:58:57Also, you got to watch the chicks play Because they don't have the power to smack it out So it's just pure skill And cleverness Yeah, exactly, placement Everything is placement So what they're trying to do is I'm telling you it's unbelievable And everybody that's playing tennis and squash And all these other racketsports is starting to convert to this Really? Yes Everybody from tennis is coming over Now I'm talking to professionals, I'm talking about people that play like in college or whatever And now they're starting to come over to this Miami they're obsessed, in Europe they're completely obsessed You go to like Sweden There's like thousands Like all like Cristiano Ronaldo and all the soccer guys They're all playing it, they own the facilities How the fuck am I just finding out about this for the time?

1:59:37You guys got one here, what's it called? They just built one The paddled club, Austin or something Something like that, but it's just It is, I'm upset Oh, it's just never ending Dude, I take lessons Let's get your friend outside the arena Yeah, that is crazy But the fact that there's hope, the fact is like It's not just brute strength There's that little guy that was playing on the right right there Chingoto is these guys like 5 '3 And he's so skilled And since it's not He's not in this court But that guy Topia is the best on the world You know all the players I'm obsessed with this, in the way that you're obsessed with Dude Jets, I know Believe I'm just finding out about this right now I got to play with some of these guys Really?

2:00:19And they toy with me Like they'll just bring me up to the net on drop shots And then bring me back to the end I'm just running around like a little bitch But it's like these guys to me are like Michael Jordan or like LeBron James Like I get like giddy around them I'm so excited And like I'm telling you I'm taking lessons once a week Shout out to my boy Lucho in New York The best fucking instructor on the planet right now He works at Paddle House is incredible Wow You're taking lessons I'm playing three or four times a week It's like everything Yeah, it's just my whole workout regimen is built around Making sure that my shoulder is okay So I can play Tired dedication to this The only thing I've been obsessed like with this bet Is stand -up comedy See the only thing And I have no racket sport background I never played tennis growing up Like I grew up in the city What the public school does look fun Dude it's Look at you run outside It's just That's so crazy that you run outside That's The point isn't over You know what I mean?

2:01:16There's always hope Like and that's the beauty of like you're like a really competitive person When you play against someone who's got more strength than you Even like when I would like box and shit like that Like somebody who is just bet Like he was eventually if they can connect it's over And like even in this in power You can mitigate their power You can move them around the court There guys there way better than me a tennis squash And all these other things But strategically in this game If you don't hit it out I got a chance Wow And it's just You should do commentary Dude I was telling the guys I literally told the guys Dude I was telling Wayne Who owns reserve Man shout out And I was like I know you have your guys doing it But like Dude I am obsessed with this Like Joe is with With the UFC in MMA Like you don't need to pay me Like I just want to talk about the sport Like I want to build this fucking thing up How do we build this enough Wow And I literally thought about you You like this before Dude it drives my wife crazy Like I go to fucking brunch on a Sunday And me and my boy Jason Are just talking about our paddle games this week Oh no Dude it's My boy Jason just hit me up And he's like listen I know you got this special And everything going up But my calf is feeling better So we got a game Wednesday And I'm like Okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm ready That's crazy It's just the coolest thing Wow I know you don't fuck with team sports But this is It looks fun It definitely looks fun It's great It's great Yeah Jamie's a little sneaky athlete Oh Jamie's a good basketball player But even Jamie's sink three Yeah he's sneaky We had a little fun You see him play golf He's a mother fucker with the drive He's got that simulator in the back What's your house?

2:02:50What's the furthest right here Right here We have in the garage What's the furthest you ever whacked one of those on that? I mean I don't know Far 300 yards Oh wow You're like a legit Dude his swing is legit You should have seen Brian Cowan Trying to swing after Jamie It was comical Because I'm behind him talking Mad shit I just like I just love how much Jamie bitch Bro the joy that must have come to you Watching Jamie smoke a calendar Oh it was so much fun It was so much fun Anyway yeah I'm so obsessed with it That's incredible Even now like just the idea that paddle is spoken about on the Rogan podcast It's just crazy How about you told me about it I never even knew it was a thing Oh dude If someone brought it up to me I'd be like that's bullshit That's not real Dude it is real And these guys are starting to make money now Like the pro The top guys are starting to make decent amount of money That looks like ESPN for sure Like that looks like something Okay, come on over there Oh Doesn't come on Really fucked up And these don't ruin his knees bro Yeah Yeah But he played pickleball Because he's down there in Miami His knees are so fucked up Yeah I hope that if If stem cell technology advances If they, you know, the FDA Finally allows people to have the same kind of stem cells In America that they do in Colombia And Mexico Norway or Sweden?

2:04:13Where's like the Where's like the other place that they do it? I don't know If you want to get some bougies If you want the whites themselves I mean It's like Norway that they're harvesting them Well the places that I know of Are the big one is the CPI and Tijuana That's one of the best in the world Okay And that place is they have a partnership with the UFC They send a lot of the athletes away Oh really? And there's another place in Colombia Bio -excelerator There's an island in the Caribbean That they do it too That they like bring a They bring the, they like fly in The medical office essentially For the week or two week periods Oh, okay Yeah, and then they have like stem cells that have been harvested In some place And my neighbor, my neighbor did that So I forget which island it is But Well there's Panama too Neil Reardon, Dr.

2:04:58Neil Reardon Who's really, he's written so many Books and papers on the benefits of stem cells Have you done the stem cells? I've done a shit lot of them Yeah And what is the like immediate impact? Oh, it heals soft tissue Way better than anything else that I've ever used before So like what for example? What injury did you have that you felt? The biggest one I've talked about before I apologize if you heard this before people I had a rotator cuff tear A full length rotator cuff tear And went to a doctor, went to the UFC's doctor They sent me to orthopedic surgeon He looks at my MRI You can't believe I can do anything He says I can't believe you can do anything with this shoulder Like this is, you have a full length rotator cuff tear But he does all the stuff with me Like push down, push up And he goes like, you're pretty functional He goes, I think it's probably because You have a lot of muscle around the joint But he goes, but you're gonna need surgery He goes, you could try to rehab it, but you're gonna need surgery I go really gun need surgery, he goes, yeah I go with, am I ruining my shoulder By not having surgery, he's like potentially He's like, you know, try your best rehab, put it off as much as you want But you're gonna need surgery So then I go to Dr.

2:06:01Roddy McGee in Vegas And this was years ago He's doing stem cells with UFC athletes He's a bunch of different people He's like, well, we could try it And I think the stem cells I got them Actually aren't even available anymore because they were too good So they injected in my shoulder And then after a couple of weeks It feels pretty fucking good And then I rehab it, I'm doing like bands And all sorts of different stuff I get it to the point where it starts feeling good I start light like light kettlebells Feeling pretty good I go back to him six months later, he does an MRI He says, this is the most astounding thing I've ever seen in all my years Of being an orthopedic surgeon He goes, that tear is gone Like he just wrote this full length rotator cuff tear That it was gonna need surgery Doesn't exist anymore Like when I say like my shoulder is better I mean it doesn't bother me at all Like at all I do everything I hit the bag I do kettlebells with 70 pounds I do swings and curls And cleans and presses Zero pain Not a one thing like Maybe I shouldn't be doing this It feels 100 % normal Yeah And all stem cells I could have got caught with a swing And then you're done Didn't do any of that There's a, I have a shoulder, a little bit of a shoulder issue Actually I'm curious if this stem cells 100 % So I'll bring you to ways to well that's in Austin Listen man, they've healed so many people that I'm friends with I had a scapular Like minimal scapular movement I think that was the issue So I was making up for the fact that my scapular Doesn't move that much With just stretching out the muscles around it Does that make sense So like I guess that the scapula is this Bone here The scapula is that the one that kind of like hangs off And like that's supposed to move up With your arm when you extend it And it was staying there But I was still moving my arm So I'm stretching all I guess the muscles Or tendons or whatever What did happen to your scapula that made it freeze like that I don't know, like some, I was told that I might have Like a small tear in the rotator cuff Do you hang, do you ever hang from your hands I mean I would do, I do like pull -ups as part of Like my, you know, exercise routine When I'm doing any other body Pull -ups are a great exercise But hanging is great for shoulder health So what I do every day For at least a minute Usually more I usually do like a couple of sets of hangs Before I do anything Well I'll do my warm -ups with like push -ups And body weight squats And then what I do is I chalk up my hands And I grab a hold of the bar And I just hang And I just try, and I feel my back popping Like it decompresses your back Because your spine, like the weight of your hips And your legs is pulling on your spine For the first time Normally life is pushing down on you Yeah, yeah, the weight of your body is pushing down Wow, and now you're using gravity to pull it all out Yes, so I do that, I hang that weight And then I also do that decks We have a machine out there Teeter, the company that makes those things Where you hang by your ankles They have a great one where it's called the decks I like it better than the ankle one Where you hinge at the hips And you fall forward And then it's basically like Your lower body and your hips Are carrying Like locking your weight in place And you're leaning forward So the full weight of your upper body Is decompressing your back And I'll feel it going like Pop, pop, pop, pop I'll feel like little pops in my back And I stretch it and I move on that thing And it's all just about keeping the spine pliable And keeping the range of motion in your spine But also in your shoulder joints It's one of the best things for shoulder joints And it's just hang And I'll hang with one arm sometimes I'll hang with both arms But I'm just like letting it all stretch out So it stretches all your The mobility of your shoulders And creates space in there It allows everything to move freer And then I'll do my chin ups So I do my sets of chin ups So that's your stretch essentially Okay, maybe I have to add that in I also stretch on a bar Where I grab the bar and I turn like this And I get it like that And I get a deep stretch that way And I do that on my back on the ground You should also do these things It's called crossover symmetry Is these bands And they have varying resistance Like different colors Or different strength resistance You don't even need a lot of resistance The whole idea is just you're working the tendons And all the connective tissue And it's just doing all these like different shoulder exercises And so they cross like one is attached to a post over here And the other one's here So I'm doing these and I'm doing I'm pinning them against my arm And I'm doing it like that Where I'm just working the rotator cuff muscles And just to keep everything You're creating the torque on the joint Whereas like when you're lifting weights You can kind of manipulate what part of your body is lifting You can and that's how you get injured Sometimes too Because that's my biggest concern right now Is to bring it back to your friends How do I play?

2:10:59That's so crazy Like everything I do, I do PT twice a week Shout out to my boy Mike Helgese PT twice a week Yeah, it's like I'm lifting but I'm with a guy who is a PT So if there is an issue we can But he'll just take me through weight lifting If I'm feeling good and if I'm not Then we're doing some work and Have you been able to increase the mobility of your schedule? Did my yes and my shoulder was fucked before and he brought it back Him and this guy Kyle were like don't do surgery Like they were like Once you do surgery you're fucked And so let's try to work this thing out By building muscle around it Getting mobility into the joint And like they brought the shoulder back Let me say one thing That's not always true I know a lot of people that have had successful shoulder surgery And in some cases That's the only thing you can do To save yourself Yeah, there's like Yuri Prahasca The UFC for the light heavyweight champion His shoulder was blown apart They had to put it back together And they had to So they're incredibly effective Yeah, damn, that Jamal hill fight Unbelievable, holy shit So for a situation like that Shoulder surgery was necessary His shoulder was torn apart You can't just heal that with stem cells But there are things you can heal with stem cells And it definitely helps Soft tissue injuries In a way like nothing else I've ever used It's legit And Brigham Bueller who's the CEO of WasteWell He's worked so hard on edge He's been on this podcast a bunch of times And Tucker's podcast, a bunch of podcasts Just talking about all these different methods That are available That are being stifled by the FDA And that's the thing is like once you get something That you're addicted to Longevity exercise or regiments or whatever it is It are very easy to do Because you're not really doing them So you can live to 100 You're like how do I play this thing next week Right And all the motivation comes from it It's really simple I actually can't wait to go do the PT Whatever it is because I'm like okay I have a game Wednesday and I want to be good to play It sounds ridiculous, I'm 41 I'm not going to pro at this thing But I love it so much That I would literally...

2:13:03I'm looking up the fucking BPC 157 I'm like do I need the podcast Yeah, the Wolverineship that they say And it's like do I get that so I can recover faster Yeah, get that Have you tried that? It's legit Super legit I'd recommended to a buddy with no research I was like you should do this And then a couple weeks later he's like I'm on it And I was like did you look... I'm not a doctor I think I should But he said he did it for his... He got an ACL surgery And he's doctor He asked about it And his doctor goes I take it That's a good doctor Because I've had friends where I tell them about the doctors All you shouldn't do that There's no studies with children That's a thing I feel like there's like old guard guys They're a little bit hesitant to use some of the maybe newer technology And I'm sure they have their reasons I don't know more than them about the science But there are these new technologies that can maybe extend our playing age Again, I don't need to be a pro But I love this thing And I want to do it as much as I can I want to get as good as I possibly can It feels good to be getting better at something at this age Well let me tell you something There's a reason why usada didn't let people use the UFC And now drug free sport also doesn't let people use it in the UFC It's because it works It's official Why would they not wouldn't it be advantageous for the athletes?

2:14:19Exactly, it's really stupid But the idea is that it's performance enhancing Because it lets you heal quicker So heal from injuries quicker Potentially heal from recovering From training quicker And what would their argument? I mean the only argument I've heard is like an increase in sound growth Well the idea is like keep everybody on a completely level playing field How do you do that? No one's able to take anything You can't take any performance enhancing stuff Or make it accessible to all athletes Well I think that's the right way to do it But the problem is that Okay, what peptides are we talking about?

2:14:51What about things like HCG Which radically increased testosterone production Are you allowed to do that? Okay, because if you're allowed to do that What level is that sterile? Only recovery, I think any recovery drug Like obviously there's risks to all this Like you increase cell growth and if you have cancer God forbid in your body those cells are going to grow as well There's an argument for that But I think the real argument is like what's causing cancer Right, the real argument is like eliminating environmental toxins And the issue is also there's people that have genetic predispositions to cancer Unfortunately But the real reality about cancer is unfortunately What you take into your body has a significant effect Your diet has a significant effect Exercise has a significant effect And also do you participate in any recovery activities like sauna?

2:15:38Which is huge They did a study out of Finland Again, I apologize if you've heard this before It was a 20 year study They found people used sauna for four days a week Had a 40 % decrease in all cause mortality All cause meaning heart attack, stroke, cancer You name it Yeah, 40 % decrease just because of the effects of sauna How do they test that? Where's the, what is the term the something group Like the group they did This is what they did The randomized control trial So they did this study where they took these people And sauna use in Finland is everywhere Everybody use the sauna And so they did it based on these questionnaires Do you do the sauna once a week?

2:16:26Do you sauna twice a week? What temperature do you do the sauna and how long do you do it for? And they determined that the people that did the sauna Four times a week for 20 minutes at 175 degrees Had a 40 % decrease in all cause mortality Now when you drop the number of sessions You also drop the all cause mortality survival Got it So like it's like 20 % at once a week You know 30 % so it's like that Like measurable differences In the amount of people that were healthy and robust To do four times a week Yeah, I mean That's interesting because the easiest way to discredit It would be like well yeah the people that do sauna Want to increase their life But what you're saying is there's an increase Amount of assistance If you do it more Right The benefits are legitimate, real, measurable It's hermetic stress There's it's heat shock proteins Your body produces to deal with the fact That you're you're essentially dying Like you can't stay like I do it at 196 You can't stay there very long I do 25 minutes at 196 Have you ever passed out in it?

2:17:35No Is that a thing people do? I don't pass out Get out the smelling sauce Stay awake No you could though Yeah I mean if you are the type of person who passes out If you've got issues Yeah I think Some people pass out just from stress I watched a kid black out the other night One of these school things that my kid had to go to Really? Some boy fainted on stage Wow Yeah sometimes people just Sometimes your brain goes too much Check please I've seen like Not passed out but like I was having like breathing issues I didn't understand what the fuck it was And like my wife and I were trying to get pregnant It was like really difficult because my sperm sucks And I would have like I guess it was stress related I didn't know what the fuck it was Like I went to a doctor and I was like I feel like I can't catch my breath And I started doing these like It's like a Navy still breathing technique Or whatever you like Box breathing And I would try to do that I mean it was so weird it wouldn't affect me on stage Because once I'm on stage I'm like locked into the performance And that's how I knew it was all Psychological but like when I was off stage There were times where I'd be at the cellar And I have to leave the cellar And there's this little park on sixth avenue That's like not even really a park But there's like benches And I would just sit there And I would just fucking box breathe By myself trying to get a full breath And I go to this doctor And I was like what the fuck is it Is a stressed -induced Exphyxiation or something like that And I was just so like What was so stressful to you We couldn't get pregnant Like I found out the sperm cells So was that Yeah and like Not where HCG comes in actually Because that's one of those peptides That actually increases your sperm production Yeah well my My sperm wasn't swimming That was the issue Gotta get those bitches in the pool Cold flesh That helps too That's supposed to be good for your nuts He's the worst apparently Well they said he'd ankle I like hit up ubermen and I was like Yeah what should I do?

2:19:38And he's like All right take these pills And then the doctors Even tell me they're like They're like take these pills And then also You got lazy gizz bro Dude I got the laziest one So I got to take the pills They're like don't drink I'm like okay I'm not gonna drink They're like don't smoke Okay I'm not gonna smoke They go where baggy underwear And they're like ice your balls once a day So I do that for a month I go get or two months I go get my sperm tested again It got worse Really? Yeah And they're like we haven't even fucking seen this And yeah so like we have to Do IVF and everything That's what the special is about It's just this story of us trying to get pregnant There was a study I think it was out of Japan And what they were doing was They're getting people to Cold plunge before exercise So you cold plunge for three minutes And then you exercise And you force your body to heat up While you're working out Massive increase in testosterone To the point where this one guy He got his prostate levels checked And his doctor was like This is concerning Yeah like we want to do this We want to do that We want to put you on this and put you on that And the guy says you know This is an article that's available online This one guy tried this Let me find out what's available online So he finds out Cold plunge and does it And then So this is the thing Japanese cold plunge study Often referenced discussed about cold Emersing the risk of cold water before exercise Significantly increased testosterone levels And young Japanese men Compared to immersing it after exercise Which suppress testosterone levels Highlighting the importance of timing When using cold stimulation For potential hormonal benefits So what this guy did was He plunge not just the wrist And then Went to the doctor months later And the doctor thought he was on hormones The doctor was like You have 1100 testosterone This is crazy like what's going on And he tells them I've been cold plunching Before I lift weights And the doctor is like Well keep fucking doing that And so I know I do that now Really?

2:21:45Yeah I know a lot of people To do that now this is how they start their workout My workout starts with a cold plunge So my issue wasn't even the tea They were like yeah your tea levels are good It's just the swimmers It was the swimmers and then they were like shaped weird I mean it's just like Bro It was too funny I told the guy I mean this is I don't even do this in a special way But like I They were like The shape is a little off And I was like You're so defensive I go well maybe when they hit the cup So hard Yeah I'm still trying to like I got an ego about it I'm like bro you should have seen the way they fuck it It's a car crash over here It's coming in at 400 psi But it was crazy once we got pregnant It went away And it was like Immediately went away I can breathe again And it wasn't this feeling that I couldn't breathe It was about catching a full breath You know when you're like running And at the end of your You're doing like a hard cardio intensive exercise This idea like You can't get to 100 % in your lungs And I never had experience in my life Like I can I can work pretty hard Like I feel like maybe that's a competitive advantage of mine Like I might not be the most skilled in certain things But like I can go I have a good motor I can fucking push it And there's the first time my life where like A psychological Issue affected my body Physically I didn't even know that that was possible And uh I know that that's having a lot of people I know that got cancelled People that got cancelled where they were just Overwhelmed where they didn't couldn't breathe And they didn't think that they could make it They were like I can't do this Oh because they were going through that Yeah they were going through it like in the heart of it Like you got to call up and check up on them Yeah Make sure they're okay I remember Tony I remember the fork in the road I remember the curve I was driving on When I was talking on the phone to Tony When he was going through his first one And um he's like I just said this is not good man I'm not doing good And I'm like fuck man And there's like that was the moment Where I was like please don't kill yourself Oh wow You're going to get better You're going to be fine I didn't say that But that's what you're thinking That's what I was thinking I remember being in my car Going oh like hearing him on the phone We were on speaker phones like fuck man Yeah you dedicate your entire life to one thing But it's also it's just like feeling like it's over Everything's over Your career is over, your life is over As you know one stupid thing And now it's over forever And just the...

2:24:17You can't breathe You can't breathe And you know Tony's tough He's resilient He got through it pretty quick and he was back And then a couple weeks later he was laughing about it But some people They get wrecked and they're not the same ever again I think that does happen to people And there's a different version of them afterwards Because they don't want to experience that again It is weird Like I'm not as affected by that kind of stuff Now maybe I haven't gone through on that level And I also think there's something about having a kid Like I just care less about The very few people I care what they think about me It's like really liberating in a lot of ways Right But yeah there's something about like Are we not going to be able to get pregnant And then like feeling You feel horrible I also start like going Why would God not want me to have a kid Like did I do something bad?

2:25:11Like you start thinking like if there's some sort of Karmic reason for that shit Also before I knew it was me I don't want to share it with anybody It's really isolating because I thought it was my wife Like everybody always thinks it's the woman Who's got a fucking problem with their eggs or whatever And that's such a bitch ass dude thing That's what we think Because we don't know it could be us When did you ever like Every time I looked at my parents I couldn't be me We'll get them out of fucking jizz I'm killing it Literally And then you think about it And I will say this though Like finding out that it was me And being able to I feel more comfortable talking about on stage Because now I'm not talking about this incredibly embarrassing thing To this woman who does not want to be an entertainment At all like the most private person Net about me I was like oh I can talk about this a little bit And being able to talk about on stage And I would talk about on stage And like there would be these dudes It would come up to me after shows And they wouldn't admit they were going through it But they'd be like I was really funny but like Yeah you should keep talking about that shit And then I would like talk about on tour And I get these fucking DMs And like all these people would start telling me That they're going through IVF And like even close friends start to make Yo actually that's how we got pregnant And I didn't realize it was this There's like almost like last taboo thing Where There's this incredible isolation at bees You don't want to feel the judgment There's always pressure and obviously you have a family You don't want to feel like you're the person It's like stopping that But I didn't realize and I'm 40 So a lot of older people are probably going through this Maybe young people or not But like everybody in my immediate circle Going through this shit Let me ask you this like first of all When did IVF Become Available to people And how many people a year do you think use IVF And if they didn't how many less people Were there be on earth?

2:27:03Brother, brother, brother This is like there were three things when I talked to Trump That I wanted to ask him about specifically And one of them was securing IVF Because I know a lot of people who are against abortion Also look at IVF Okay, you're throwing out embryos You're killing people or potential people And they want to use the anti -abortion argument To get rid of IVF Really is that a thing? Yeah, of course it's happening now And what Trump said on the pod Who's trying to ban that I guess we could look that up I think that it was in there's a few states that it was happening in That seems insane Yeah, why would you not want more people Well, they look at it as killing people Because life starts a conception and the embryos essentially a conception Which I understand your logic I don't disagree with the logic behind that But at the same time That is the way that The only way some people can get pregnant And I will give it There is Senate Republicans block IVF bills Democrats elevate issue ahead of November election But what I'll say is Trump said that They're going to back it with the full power of the Republican party And that anybody that goes against it That they would campaign against And then he even signed that executive order to expand it He wants to expand access to it Oh, that's great Which is fucking, yeah, it's incredible People that want to be parents, man I know quite a few people like yourself They want to be parents so bad And that gave them the ability And now they're so happy And it's the most incredible thing in the world Yeah, if they don't do that, guess what?

2:28:28There's no babies It's like more life will occur if you allow this Also, we got to deal with the downstream Like I'm sure some of this shit is probably It might, me it just might be genetic, I don't fucking know But maybe it's microplastics all of my balls Maybe it's my phone Like there's a lot of things that are not in our control That are negatively impacting us And then to restrict our ability to have a family I feel like it's kind of unfair You like bestowed this thing upon me It has affected our ability Or some woman's ability to see I wonder if it's like more prevalent The issue or the necessity of it With people that live in cities Oh dude, every time a car breaks Yeah The amount of microplastics that go into the world Or way more than using like a plastic bottle to drink out of Yeah, brake dust Yeah, it's particulates That's the shit that you wipe off your wheels when you clean your car That's nothing there You never wash your car?

2:29:18No, Jesus Christ I mean, I didn't have a car until like a year ago What do you got now? Got anything good? No, nothing, well, I got a fun one I got a really, I got a Suzuki Samurai Ooh! It's the coolest fucking car on the planet Those are fun! They're so cool That's a good car to park in the city too You don't give a fuck what happens or that thing? Well, I got it out in the Hamptons, but yeah What year is it? It's 87? He that's such a piece of shit Oh, it's a piece of shit But it is like, it's also just so fun Like, I'm not trying to compete with you on like having like a fancy car Whatever, like that, I just love how fucking rug I don't care, throw shit at the back You know the good shit Yeah, you got to learn it and you got to learn the appreciation of cars I got my fit, yeah, there it is Look at the boys Yeah, that thing's fun Oh yeah, look at the cute little car Is it adorable?

2:30:05I wouldn't take that thing around the block But wait, you're saying you wouldn't get in that car with six guys Yeah, go with you guys Shouldn't that be on the cover of every gay magazine? It should be I've been like If you take this pill, this is what you have You'll have fun with your friends On the beach with Suzuki Samurai It's so much fun And the reliable is fucked, that's the thing about them Every Japanese car is reliable Yes, they're the best That's the thing about Japanese culture is that like it's refinement culture So like, I feel like there's... I said there's this Japanese DJ I saw His name is Yosuke Yukimatsu Okay, he had like brain cancer And then like he thought he was gonna die So he was like, fucking, I'm gonna be a DJ at the time I got left and it went into remission But he basically quit his construction job He just did this boiler room set And it is just like...

2:30:50I could be like putting this energy on it Because I want to believe it or whatever But the intensity of it is This is my shot And I'm gonna be unrelenting And the second I saw that he's Japanese Maybe it's my like, this is the guy Look at him go But can you... Like, can you... Look at this motherfucker A Japanese person being a DJ Before I even listened to the set I was like, oh, this is gonna be the best set I've ever heard Because they would never put themselves out there And do it half -ass Like every 30 -year -old model in America is like, I'll be a DJ now But in Japan, the culture is so like Don't bring shame upon your family Don't bring attention to yourself Unless you are the greatest Do you know the term Kaizen?

2:31:33Do you know what that means? No, what is that? Kaizen is a Japanese term For taking a thing And continuing to refine it Until it reaches perfection So Japanese... First of all Like Super cars were always Italian It was always, you know German, Porsche, Ferrari That kind of shit And then Nissan Created a car that destroyed everybody What was it? The GT -R So the Nissan GT -R They've essentially been making the same exact car Just refining it For like 20 years I have a 2024 Nissan GT -R Nismo, which is their race package one Which is the most refined version of the GT -R They've ever... And it's a fucking marvel of engineering And refinement That fucking car is magical It's just glued to the road Do you ever see anyone?

2:32:36No, show me Pull up a black Nissan 2024 GT -R Nismo But Colta, they can't put out shit It's shameful to put out shit And I feel like they're almost like done refining their culture And now they're tapping into other things That's what it looks like Oh wow, yeah That's a Nismo 300 That's mine That's my car What is that Nissan Z... Was a Z300 or something like that This came out when I was in college Yeah, 340Z, there's a bunch of those But that's the GT -R That thing It's just... You're on a ride You're riding a ride everywhere Wers and clanks and clunks

2:33:22It's so fun, that's a different one That's a 300Z 370Z That's pretty sick too though, that looks good But there's like a whole culture of taking these things Like there's guys that make these things They jack them up to 2000 horsepower And they spit fire out of the back of them But they do it with pizza Like the best pizza I've ever had And I'm from New York City is in Tokyo Really? The best pizza you've ever had I forget the name of the place But it... But it was the best steak I've ever had is in Tokyo And it's something about like Doing something half -ass I think is shameful And there's this great honor in like This refinement process Now there is a social cost to that There's a rigidity Meaning like Here's a perfect example Like the oldest hotel in the world I think is this hotel in Japan It's like starting in 703 And it's...

2:34:14Oh, I've seen that Yeah, and it's been owned by the same family for 52 generations Right Which is like an unbelievable feat When you think about like American families or British families That like have gotten rich And then three generations They've squandered it all Like really successful families It's all been destroyed And there is this thing And I think Japanese culture Which is like there's this great honor In taking on the tradition of your family The cost of that is There was probably a comedian Or a chef Or somebody that in that line That didn't do the thing that they really were passionate about To honor their family But the societal benefit is Probably the majority of people Don't have those dreams And having purpose in this job Is probably better for them And I think there's a middle ground Where you can still go dream And do these things But also we have some respect For being a cobbler When your dad was a cobbler And his dad was a cobbler I feel like we've lost that a little bit In like American dream culture Which is like if you don't go out And achieve your craziest dream Some people don't have that dream But taking over their dad's business Is something that they can feel good about And honor instead of like Oh yeah, so I just took over the family business Well doing a good job at anything There's a lot of value in that for everybody If you love making shoes And you become a cobbler And you make awesome shoes And you got like Andrew Shows I bro, those shoes are sick I love them, I want another pair But could you make them in crocodile?

2:35:41Oh, let's go Yeah, that's exciting Like making things and having relationships with the people you sell them to That's super rewarding We do chase that big dream over in America And make it seem like everybody has to have it But the dream of making cabinets that are awesome Is a pretty fucking cool dream Yeah, the dream of being a painter is a pretty cool dream Like there's a lot of dreams That don't get the value added to them Because of fame Like we have this weird thing About fame above all In this country Fame above all, like moms Being a mom isn't really valued Oh yeah, it's a real, I think it's a real problem I think that, and it's not all places Like I'm sure there are places that are more like Family oriented where like Like being a mom is an honored respected thing A lot out here, man I love that, like I'm in New York, it's not that Right, New York is it in LA In LA, a lot of the moms have jobs too They have careers, they don't want to abandon their career They might shame those moms that decide To stay home and take care of their kids When, yeah, I don't think that that's It would be great if there was less rigidity And there was a lot of honor in that And there was something we really respected Because I know in New York, even my wife Like my wife is like, you know, she got her fucking MBA She was working for Apple and AI projects And then she goes, that's my dream to be a mom And I feel societal scrutiny about it But I don't fucking care Because I want to be a mom You know who really gets to scrutiny?

2:37:04Stay at home dads Yeah, she's gay

2:37:18You're trying to lip pill me, Joe What the fuck is the fuck? I want to see where you're going No, I've fed you one of them little record ball balls The paddle It's paddle I've fed you one of those half -filled tennis balls And you fucking shoved it down my throat

2:37:38But yeah, that is the weird thing It's like, I know As well as a male, you feel a real strong Pull to be a provider We do. It feels very important Yeah And it really, like as you become a father And you raise children It really gets instilled on you Like I always had a really good work ethic But becoming a father maybe Have a much stronger work ethic Like there's no If I was a single man With no responsibilities, who knows if I would work as hard And who knows if I would take days off Or I'd fuck off My friends are like, hey, you know, let's go bowl hunting In Argentina, I'm like, yeah, I'll take the day off And what I like about having kids Is that you won't be able to provide for them I think a lot of people go, oh, I just need to get my life ready to do it It's like, oh, no, no, no That's going to put a battery in your back Like you wouldn't fucking believe it Hopefully It's very sad when it doesn't Those people shouldn't have kids Yeah, I've met men where they just, they keep doing the same thing Even after they have children And you're like, oh my god dude, you can't do this Did they want to have them Who knows, you know, who knows what if people want Or if they think they want and then they have And then they don't change Louis C .K.

2:38:48said something really cool once to me He's like, when you have children And he's like, you just got to let it change you Just let it change you Yeah, don't hold on to who you think you are And what you think your identity is Just let it transform you Adjust Because everybody adjusts The mom adjusts you Now it's not your girlfriend anymore It's not your wife anymore Now it's a mother She made a human being in her body It's very vulnerable and she loves it more than anything in this world Anything And it's this crazy experience That if you don't have and you're on the outside You look at it as like, oh That responsibility, oh fuck that Oh you're tied down, oh you got kids now But it's a, it's another level Of understanding what life really is Because it's this constant cycle of new people entering into the world And eventually you will leave this world And hopefully you will leave this world better Because you were here Amen Yeah, that's true Yeah, it's the coolest thing that's ever happened to me And absolutely has transformed me I was super excited when you were a come a dad Because I knew You're all in on everything you do So you'd be all in on being a dad to it Which is so important It's just so important like It's so weird That you're making a life a human being Comes into this world that didn't exist before you and your wife had sex And now there's a human being That's talking to you and you're teaching them stuff They learn things, you get to see them laugh and giggle And you get to see them open up Christmas presents And screech an excitement Oh my god, it's all the happiness that you get from other things Just doesn't compare Yeah, it's a different happiness It's a totally different happiness And it's also it's like an understanding of life itself I've talked about this before But I changed the way I think about people You told me this I think about everybody as a baby now Everybody's a baby that became a Six -year -old man with big old wine -o -nose You know when they get those big Crazy fucking gin blossom faces Like priests Yep, and you know I realized like oh this is just This is this entity At this stage of its journey But it used to be a baby There used to be someone's cute little baby boy A little bow tie on Everybody thought it was so cute took a picture of him Now here he is Bad breath and farty Big old pot belly, hate and life, smoking palmalls Yeah, he had a lot of hope at one point That was a baby Yeah, and you know what What what is You have a lot of hope but like what is the impediment to you achieving a fulfilled life And so many people don't even know where to start Or where to begin and what to do What what which way to go Yeah And if you haven't been trusting your instincts in your life And you haven't been taking chances then all of a sudden You have to take one at like 35 Yeah, it's hard Yeah, it's hard That's a muscle you build like endurance You know you build the muscle of being able to take chances and do difficult things Yeah, you build that like all other muscles So all other strengths and virtues that you have Yeah, it's reinforced with use Yeah, every risk you take that is successful You get a little bit more confidence in taking those risks Also you understand what's required to make this venture successful Yeah, you have to look at it correctly You can't be delusional, you have to be objective And you have to do what actually needs to be done Yeah, and some people don't like that responsibility The responsibility of working Yeah, so they sabotage themselves They sabotage their life Because it's easier to fail because you're used to it Yeah, so you fall right back And I'll pick myself back up again But right now I'm on the heroin again for a little bit Yeah, that is the cool thing about Well, yeah, I mean Failure is not an option once you have a kid No, you have to figure it out Yeah, you have to figure it out Also, you want the world to be a safer place Because you have very vulnerable little people Yeah, you relate, it's a You just become like a real human being It's interesting when I hear people That don't have kids kind of complain about the world And I'm like, you actually don't really understand how high the stakes get Right The way that I relate to every bit of stimulus is completely changed It's heightened and reduced The little frivolous ship, I do not give a flying fuck about Yeah Like, I really don't care And then the big ticket things I care deeply about You know, how could they impact my kid?

2:43:17Like, it's very easy for people to Even with like the vaccine shit It's very easy for people who don't have kids to tell you Like, oh, just trust the dog or whatever The second you have a kid It is probably the most terrifying thing you ever do in your entire life Is injecting something into The most perfect thing you've ever created And then every single day Wondering and listening if she's still smiling And seeing if she's still okay And feeling responsible if anything negative happens And then if you don't do it Feeling responsible If she got fucking the measles Or months or whatever the fuck it is I have so much more empathy And it's something that people just can't understand Because they're not put in that position Right And every new parent that I talk to is concerned about this shit Every single one So it's like, you have to have a little empathy Like, you've created the most perfect thing you've ever Could ever imagine like nothing comes as close to that And every decision you make could greatly impact that person's life So yeah, we're going to be scared If we watch a fucking video on the internet That says this thing is bad for them And don't call us some fucking quacks Just call us like parents who care for our fucking kids Well, the reason There's a lot of people that want to cover up for their own actions Like what they've done Well, the people that want to say Like all this is exaggerated There are no vaccine injuries This could have happened to my child It was going to happen anyway And you want to really believe that Of course you do because you don't want to feel like it's your responsibility Also, you don't want to believe that pharmaceutical drug companies Are willing to sell you things that are going to harm your child And they are They always will be They're publicly traded companies Have responsibility to their shareholders to make as much money as possible And the money people Are going to push a bunch of shit through That probably shouldn't go through And they'll tell you Like when they were vaccinating kids with COVID There was no reason to do that They knew there was no reason to do that But they wanted everybody to take it Because that's where the money is And that's a scary thought that we live in a world that There's people out there that would literally sacrifice the health of children for profit But ultimately that's what they do That's a thing that's been done It will continue to be done unless something happens Who are the people that do that?

2:45:28Why are they not named? Look at the Sackler family Look at those people So it's like we know one name, we know the Sacklers And we don't even know their first name Well, you might but like the average person doesn't Like I think that it'd be a lot different If these people's names were public records It would be a lot different if they went to jail That's the thing They just get fine They'll get man Joe need Yeah That would happen That would happen immediately They're gonna get that Luigi treatment immediately It will be that way People don't fuck around with their kids It's a different Luigi was wearing loafers with his ankle handcuffs And he was in a trial And he looks so beautiful He's handsome My wife and my daughters are like He's adorable Look at him here, he's so beautiful He's so handsome Like a super model I think he did porn or maybe that was just a headline that I saw But whatever

2:46:22But it's crazy though that the assassin is a good looking guy And becomes a hero Like if he was a ugly fat guy with a maggot hat on Everybody would want him dead Look at him, wow look at those brown Beautiful, well he's wearing a bulletproof vest too Isn't that wild? Yeah But he's got like a mental health problem Yeah, apparently And someone said that he took acid and cracked Yeah, I heard that Who knows how much of that We'll find out when the trial happens What the lore is A broken clock is right two times a day though It was real weird when people were like Yeah, more of that please To me, that's just desperation And you get to see it manifested It's like If you're like a really really really Really really rich person with power You want to make sure the poorest people Have enough to survive The second they don't feel like they have hope And they don't feel like they have enough to survive They start storming your estate Well, especially when you talk about health care Because there's people whose job Is to deny people health care that deserve it That's how they save money Which is that's crazy to think of But that's I mean what is the alternative?

2:47:35Socialized medicine? The problem with that is it doesn't incentivize doctors to be the best I want my doctor to drive a fucking Porsche I want my doctor to have a 9 -11 turbo And a nice watch You're right because you want the smartest people to be the doctors You don't want them running hedge funds There's a lot of probably really smart people running hedge funds I don't want them doing that shit I want them fixing diseases And if there's enough money And yet they're going to go to the hedge fund Which is meaningless So it's like It's a tricky problem How do you create a system that incentivizes the most brilliant people To be in positions where they help us all But how do you make sure that the nefarious actors Are not finding ways to squeeze probably the most vulnerable How do we eliminate nefarious actors in the world Or do we ever You can't They're there and they will pop into these positions And I think they're there also to help you Appreciate non nefarious people Yeah, like we wouldn't know good Right, unless there is bad Yeah, that's real That's a good perspective to have on bad That's the good and evil struggle forever That's the yin and the yang That's it all, that's how the world moves forward That's how it advances It protects itself against evil And evil tries to find ways through the fucking cracks They develop better antivirus software

2:48:55It's a simulation A little bit man It's going to be So maybe it already is And maybe it always was And if it's a simulation once It can be a simulation twice So if we can create the simulation And we were created as a simulation That means that We could be like the 20th version of it And we're probably about to create a way better one with AI That's probably what AI is Probably the god of the simulation We probably locked that motherfucker in Turned it on and then it figures out how to do everything Do you have any concern about AI? Oh yeah Yeah, Elon said there's a 20 % chance everything goes sideways But an 80 % chance it's an overall net good for humanity But 20 % chance like we're fucked That's a high number That's not a good number I don't like that if I'm playing Russian roulette I got 10 chambers that spin that bitch I don't like there's two bullets in there Yeah, I don't like that that makes me nervous But I also think you've got a lot of like really good smart people Trying to make sure that at the very least The people here invent it before the people in China Which I think is probably important Whoever launches the god first Is going to be in charge of a lot of stuff Yeah It's going to get fucking very strange Andrew Schultz But it's going to get even stranger We'll be here to enjoy it Yes, sir, we'll be make fun of it My brother, it's always a good time to sit with you I love you, Doug, thank you I love you, death, you're the best Tell everybody what's going on Life is on Netflix right now So go check it out And yeah, go check it out Also go check out Derek Poston's Look at that dash, son Yeah So I think we're, I think we're, today we're number two You know, maybe after this we beat Kate Hudson With that we get Kate Hudson got me, man What date is Derek's come out April, I think 16, 16 Yeah, yeah, so make sure you check that out Yeah, he's just the fuck Bro, he was killing us last night He said that the greatest art ever created Is Harry Potter And we go like better than he's like Yes, if it's the most consumed, it's the best And we're like, what about the Bible?

2:51:10He goes, ain't nobody read that shit He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, You might have read like part of it But you didn't read the whole Bible He goes, nobody's stopping at book 3 Forever finds, Bro He was cooking last night But yo, go check out his don't tell comedy He's very funny and it was kind of a great person Absolutely, all right, I love you, brother Love you, brother Bye everybody