In short
The Joe Rogan Experience: Episode #2290 - Michael Kosta
Podcast Overview Host: Joe Rogan Guest: Michael Kosta Episode Number: 2290 Release Date: March 2025 Description: Michael Kosta is a stand-up comic, host of "The Daily Show," and author of the book "Lucky Loser: Adventures in Tennis and Comedy."
Key Themes and Discussions
- Michael Kosta's Background and Career
- Kosta shares his experience working with Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show."
- Emphasizes the blend of comedy and commentary, discussing how humor helps address serious topics.
- Talks about his journey from professional tennis to comedy.
- Humor and Commentary
- Kosta praises Jon Stewart for making the show feel fresh and relevant again.
- Discusses the importance of humor in addressing societal issues without taking sides.
- Compares the balancing act of smart and silly humor, illustrating that both can coexist in comedy.
- Creative Process
- Discussion on the struggles of creativity and the importance of cultivating ideas, likening it to gold mining.
- Kosta mentions how he sometimes turns to writing when others are asleep, emphasizing the need for a conducive environment for creativity.
- The Role of AI and Technology
- The discussion touches on the implications of AI in society and its potential to change various industries.
- Talk about the ethical considerations and fears surrounding technology, particularly AI's role in shaping narratives and information.
- Cultural Observations
- Kosta discusses current societal norms, including how people react to political changes and the influence of social media.
- Reflects on the transformation in comedy, noting the rise of social media and its impact on audience engagement.
- Public Perception and Identity
- The conversation shifts to how identity and perception play a role in comedy and public life.
- Kosta shares personal anecdotes about being perceived as part of a particular identity or culture.
- Human Resilience and Community
- Kosta emphasizes the importance of community, creativity, and resilience in both his career and personal life.
- Discusses the human experience and the need for connection through shared experiences, like laughter.
Notable Quotes
- "Ideas are things that you should consider, but they don't define you."
- "The struggle against resistance is a common theme for artists."
Conclusion Michael Kosta's appearance on "The Joe Rogan Experience" encompasses a wide range of topics, from the nuances of comedy to the implications of AI and technology in society. The episode highlights Kosta's journey through stand-up and his insights into creativity and public perception, ultimately emphasizing the importance of humor in navigating life's challenges.
Resources
- Michael Kosta's Book: *Lucky Loser: Adventures in Tennis and Comedy*
- Follow Michael Kosta: [michaelkosta.com](http://www.michaelkosta.com)
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:03The Joe Rogan Experience Join my day Joe Rogan podcast my night all day Yes, sir Michael, good to see you my friend Thanks for having me and really appreciate you showing me around Wow, what a space you've created man Thank you That's so cool Keeps going I was excited to show you the picture of my sauna And then you show me you got an archery It's so cool man, thank you, thank you, it's fun So we were just singing John Stuart's praises before the started But I'm so happy he's back at the daily show And I'm so happy he makes fun of everything And I'm so happy he still makes dick jokes Yeah, you know, it's fun It's like the daily show seems like the daily show again Like that guy's a very unique dude Very unique person And one of the most important like pieces to like unify everybody He's reasonable Like he gets the whole big picture Like let's stop being so fucking ridiculously tribal In the morning meeting, he'll come in And we're all sitting there, the writers And he just kind of shuts the door behind him And we start talking But it's like a conversation with a college professor But he's in charge And it's beautiful All sides, this, I disagree with that What about this?
1:20And it's like, oh, it's really fun to be a part of And then someone will yell out a dick joke And then that joke will make it to the show too You know, it's like smart things and dumb things That's beautiful Well, he's never abandoned being a real comic Correct Which is what got him to the dance in the first place So he always has those instincts And he's the very best at like holding a line And like making something like Even more preposterous just with a facial expression And pointing out like these fucking unbelievably ridiculous In your face hypocrisies Every day from both sides Have you ever done stand up with him?
1:57Oh yeah, we've done stand up together Like back in the day Yeah, I kind of can't remember the last time I was supposed to do something with him One of Dave's things that he was doing outside Back in the day, but I never won up doing it But I definitely did stand up with him in the clubs Back in New York And I knew him way, way back in the day He was on MTV Yeah, I remember that And I think I remember one of his books was called Naked Pictures of Famous People Which was great He's a solid guy Like he's a solid guy I don't know if he's agree with him But I don't know if he's agree with everybody I don't even agree with me Isn't that good?
2:34I mean isn't that the point of this? It's like you want a couple people to be mad sometimes I also think we all as human beings need to be divorced from our ideas Your ideas are not you You are you And ideas are things that you should consider Ideas are something that you should I mean if it's going to have some sort of a real physical impact on your life and your family and your family It's not for people you care about I understand I understand what you get connected to things like that But for the most part Most of these ideas don't affect you A lot of them don't And yet we're so ideologically captured that we fight for these ideas If it's our very nature You're talking about your essence as a human being And it's stupid This reminds me of a time I left my joke book on a train in New York And in the joke book I have This book is important to me Call me if you get this you know And this guy texts me and he says I have this joke book And you know talk about your ideas The joke book is the most unfiltered dumb idea ever Oh yeah That's the beauty of it Yeah And I said yeah I'm sure he's reading it You're going to read it You're going to read it You're going to read a stranger's joke book And I connected with him He was very kind He gave it to me But he kind of looked at me like Are you a comedian type thing And I said yeah But it's terrifying when that idea gets attached to you When it was just a fleeting idea Right Yeah The joke book idea is the best example of that Because most of what you write is shit Which took me forever to figure out I was like God I've just write shit And then every now and then a gem Like ooh and then you extract the gem But I've realized afterwards It's basically like gold mining Most of the time you're not finding gold You're finding garbage And you only get to gold by going through garbage Yeah Sometimes I'll do a show And it's terrible New joke show But then the next day the thing happens And I think oh that's because Yeah I was digging all day yesterday Yeah It's the muse Right You have to show up and request the muse's love I like that Yeah Do you ever read Pressfield's War of Art?
4:43No It's really We have a stack of them out there I'll give you a copy of it It's a small book Easy read Jay Larson Comedian in LA recommended that book to me 10 years ago And I never tackled it It's really good I used to have a stack of them in the studio Where I'd give out the guests Because of so many comics I was like this is what you need What's the essence? I will read it What else you know it keeps freaking me out? There's a shooting star in my head Yeah there is Every now and then one more fly will be good What's the essence? The War of Art That makes it sound like it's a struggle to create art Yeah It's a struggle against resistance Which is procrastination Right Which is this thing that we all do before we actually write Which is so weird Because I love when I'm actually locked in And great ideas are coming It's one of the best feelings in the world Like it's like somehow another you're pulling These ideas out of nowhere And then it's your job to take this seed And try to go plant it on stage And try to water it And try to out over the course of many months It'll become a great bit And they just only come if you sit there They only come if you sit there And what he is saying is that You have to treat it like you're a professional And you have to decide at 8am I will show up And I will be there for three hours I will shut my phone off I will lock in This is what I do because I am a professional And you literally make a prayer to the muse You offer yourself to the muse You say I'm here to work I'm here to gather ideas I'm here to be creative and to be open And you treat it that way Whether or not the muse is real or not Right You can get hung up on that But if you treat it like it's real It works Which is really crazy I love that And I don't do that And early in my comedy career I would go to the coffee shop at this time And start typing And I had all these things I remember Tommy at the comedy store He would say every time I see you You have new bits And I would go, yeah, because I'm going And now what's crazy Life has gotten crazier I don't make time for myself to do that But I need to honor the muse, man I like that My move is when everyone's asleep in my house Because I still, I get up pretty early for a comic You know, I'm up by 8am Almost every day Comics are unreal with that Right But that means that I can go to bed at one And still get seven hours of sleep So that's what I do So when everybody in my house kind of goes to bed early My kids go to school My wife goes to bed early So when everyone's asleep It's just me and the dog And either we're watching YouTube or I'm writing And that's when I get my best work done You write by hand or sleep?
7:20No, I type You type Yeah, I feel like I can't write fast enough by hand What I like about typing Is that I don't have to look at the keys I know how to type So I can make a letter I can make a word very quickly I can like And I can like zone in to it But what I really like is a keyboard that I can feel Like I need travel in my keys Yeah And these clickity clickity clickity Little MacBook Yeah Those are bullshit Which you want is a keyboard that you don't have to look at Because it's got like little divots Where your finger sits I use a ThinkPad And ThinkPads have the best keyboards They have travel Each one has a couple of millimeters of travel So my fingers know exactly where to go And I can just get into the zone You're zoning right now Yeah So that's how I do it I have like a whole thing Like the laptop that I write on It's not connected It has no apps It never goes anywhere It doesn't get email I only allow myself to use the Bing search engine To find out Because most of the time I'm writing about something Like you know when was this discovered What would happen here Who figured that out It's normal facts Daylight savings is coming So we're about to lose an hour And that means trying to speed up your morning But if you drink AG1 Maybe you're fine with it It's that quick and easy To help your body feel great every day Starting your day with AG1 Can help you shake off the groginess Get back into your rhythm And even give you the boost you need To make the most of that extra hour of sunlight Maybe even turning you into the morning person you've always wanted to be AG1 rules I drank it for a long time now And seriously It's as easy as I say every month You just take one scoop Put it in some cold water, shake it up And you're ready to go Honestly, it tastes pretty good too I'm not complaining It's never too late to create a new Healthy habit for 2025 So try AG1 for yourself It's easy to stay consistent with And that's why I've been partnering with AG1 for so long And AG1 is offering new customers a free gift When you subscribe You'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of D3K2 And five free travel packs in your first box So make sure you check out drinkag1 .com Slash Joe Rogan That's drinkag1 .com slash Joe Rogan That's a trap for me frequently I'll start typing I was working on a bit recently That all of these amazing men These explorers, these achievers The idea was, because I found out that Sir Edmund Hillary, the Mount Everest's first man to climb Everest He had like nine kids or something And the idea that joke was I don't even think he likes climbing mountains I don't even think he enjoys outdoors It's that he's trying to get away from his family So then I looked up Roger Bannister, the guy who broke the four -minute mile He had like seven kids I'm like, I don't even think he likes Reddit He's just trying to run away from his family But I remember writing that bit It's a funny bit There might have been an Elon thing there He has a lot of kids going to Mars, whatever There's other stuff But I would keep getting sidetracked by these Googles I'd start typing a bit Now I'm on Sir Edmund Hillary's Wikipedia page Now I'm gonna go on And that's a trap That's tricky It's procrastination It really is And you can get locked in And the discipline is to keep it stay on the bit I would play this stupid game with myself I'll just go on YouTube real quick And see if I get inspired by anything Before I write And then I'm watching two hours of muscle car builds Right Right Oh dude, it's wild Watching people turn their land cruiser into an off -road vehicle I would do motorcycle handlebars I would find my motorcycle And then there'd be like 20 different handlebars builds and stuff What kind of motorcycle do you drive?
11:13I have a Triumph Bonneville 2011 It's in storage in Pennsylvania now I take it out in the summer a lot In LA, that was what I used all the time You ride a motorcycle in LA I did forever My wife doesn't really, we have a family now And PA, I ride it a lot And there it's deer, man That's the scary thing there They get very close They're not afraid of cars or motor vehicles at this point Well, there's a time between September -ish to December -ish Where they're retarded Because they're horny Once it starts getting warm out They start getting goofy And when you get cold around November That's when it really kicks in If you're in Pennsylvania or Iowa Oh my god, I visited my friend John in Iowa And I'm driving down the road Every 15 seconds you're slamming on your brakes Because something's darting near the road They're all over the place So they're horny and looking There are also getting chased So the bucks are chasing the females And the females are just running out in the traffic And the bucks are falling on them I mean, this is like men That night Oh yeah Six streets, where are my clothes?
12:25Don't drive fast That's why the road is closed in the weekend They don't want people driving down six streets With all these horny idiots I love to stay close to that though, that's good I didn't know that It is great But what scares me is like What happened in New Orleans Where they have these roads Where only people walk down And everyone knows it in this psycho Decides to kill a bunch of people It's crazy that you have to think that way But I mean, there should be some sort of Retractable posts that they can pull up Wasn't there for that one And it wasn't up It wasn't up In New York, you know, it's a big concrete slab I was in France last year And they had these huge flower pots With beautiful flowers in it And I said, you know, this is the New York version Is a huge concrete slab that says NYPD on it And this is the French version Which was this enormous beautiful flower pygo That's serving a function and also beautiful Yeah, well the French know how to do things They know how to do it Yeah, they party They know how to party They drink a lot of wine, they stay thin somehow or another Which is odd I hope RFK Jr.
13:31figures that out It seems to be full butter All the time I go to Italy and It's also the standard cliche But it is true, you go there, you can eat the food And it doesn't affect you the same one And we don't even think twice about it We come back here and still order pizza And still feel like shit If I eat a pizza here, I feel so bloated I ate a pizza in Italy last summer And I ate the whole pizza too Whole margarita pizza, I ate the whole fucking thing And I was like, I just would just Resign myself to like the Thud of it hitting my Digestive track And like feeling like I'm on drama Me and just like uh I resigned myself, I'm like I'm eating pizza Fucking I'm in Italy Let's just do it, nothing, never came Never came, ate a whole pizza, I was like this the rest of the day I was like this is crazy I'm not even like brisket Brisket crushes me Terry Blacks put you down son I mean I had, I was at Houston Steve Bern was at the other club You want to get lunch?
14:29Yeah, of course We go get brisket I went back to, I slept for like three and a half hours I mean it is, did you have sides though I don't remember what we were doing I bet you had sides I think it was the sides Yeah, I think it's mostly the starches And you know the carbs It's mostly like macaroni salad Fatty delicious meat So good, yeah, yeah Terry Blacks in town is my favorite Beef rib, that is the most preposterous thing You pick the bone up And the rib slides off the bone Yeah, I mean and when you slice it It's just juicy, fatty, smoky Why is the meat falling off the bone Such an important dish It's so tender, it means it's been low cooked perfectly They have a thing where you want your brisket to fold but not break So they take a slice of brisket And then put it over their hand And if it breaks off, you fucked up You made a mushy brisket But you want it where it's just folding You know like a thick cloth There's a life metaphor there too Brisket you want it right out too You want it right after they slice it You don't want to wait on brisket You don't want to eat it before it's well You want to eat it while it's still warm Look at that, see the fold That's a perfectly cooked brisket Right there, that's it Every time I'm here I remember the last time We were talking Italian billiards I didn't even realize it was a different billiards Oh they have a bunch of different billiards That's funny, I never had any idea about that brisket You know it was all originally Germans They would do the brisket stuff Germans who came over through Texas Like Fredericksburg is one of the hubs of it It's all a bunch of Germans who came over here And they made smoked sausages So they came over here And the brisket became a thing Because brisket was not a choice cut It was a thing that they would throw away Like you wanted the steaks You wanted a tea bowl So they would take the brisket And they just figured out Like if you just slowly cook it You render it down and break down all the toughness of it And at the end you have this delicious tender smoked Perfection They put me to sleep They make the best fucking brisket on earth right here Terry Blacks, Franklin's, La Barbecue It's like a bunch of spots in town What's it, QB Barbecue?
16:47Is that the Egyptian joint that I went to With Action Bronson That place is insane Oh man, having a meal with him would be super fun KG, KG Barbecue So this gentleman came from Egypt And he was like a finance guy I think In Egypt, he's just working a regular job Came over here, fell in love with brisket Decided to just open up his own barbecue shop And so this guy makes these incredible recipes with like Egyptian and Middle Eastern spices But with Texas barbecue Oh my god, it was so good It was so good Cool story Cool story And it's just super nice guy too Yeah, yeah Just like I love when someone does that It's like fuck this job I'm doing what you know what I want to do I want to feed people, I want to make brisket Awesome brisket, I want to make a food truck And this guy, it becomes so popular So quickly that this guy has like a real business now And he's got a restaurant, he's opening up a second one I believe That was my favorite part of living in Los Angeles It's easy to make fun of LA for good reason But for the most part a lot of people were betting on themselves In a talent they had Not everyone's, but I do love that I always appreciated that Yeah, I like living in a place where people are definitely going for something And taking chances The problem with LA is it also becomes attached with What is the engine that gets you to where you want to go And sometimes that engine is like pure narcissism Or fame That's the goal Most of the time it's fame Which fuels the narcissist But I think a more interesting question is How do we find the thing that we're meant to do?
18:28That Egyptian finance man found that brisket is his calling That's fascinating In his 30s With the career Making money, having health care Still decided to give it up Living in Egypt by the way It's not even close to Austin, Texas And he doesn't just decide to make barbecue He decides to make barbecue In the home of barbecue The place Yeah He's like, fuck it if you want to learn jujitsu Go to Brazil He went right to the heart of it all I remember I was coaching tennis at University of Michigan I was making 31 ,000 a year And I go I think I can make this in comedy If I'm going to get paid like shit Let me at least do what I want So of course the first year I left, first year I did comedy I made whatever, $6 ,000 or whatever But I think often how much harder that would have been if I was making a hundred grand Right You know, it's Because I was poor, let's be poor And pick the thing I want to be doing Oh, a hundred percent But that's the thing about youth Youth is filled with, if you're 47 years old And you decide that you need to change careers You're going to be a folk singer And you have a family What are you talking about?
19:34You have a vulvo, you have a fucking mortgage idiot You have to go to work You have to go to work If you're going to make folk songs You're going to make them on the two hours You have for yourself on the weekend And everybody else is out of the house You don't have any time for that What is it true that Rodney Dangerful felt comedy so late like that Well, Rodney did comedy and then quit But kept writing And was selling aluminum siding Right, that's what I remember that story And then remade it when he was like 46 That's fucking awesome story Yeah, how about Shimmel? Shimmel didn't even start to use 36 Which I thought was crazy I remember when I heard it because it was a giant Shimmel fan And then when I had heard that he started when he was 36 I was like, what?
20:15I didn't think you could do that I thought you had to start when you were like 21 Or you had no chance I remember starting at 27 And wondering if it was too late You're not crazy? Or maybe it was 25 I wish I started This episode is brought to you by the farmer's dog We all want to do the best for our dogs But there's a lot of mixed messaging out there Especially around dog food Take kibble for example You don't have to do a lot of digging to learn that kibble Is actually ultra processed They put the words like premium on their bag Next to pictures of real ingredients But food doesn't end up As burnt down pellets Without extreme processing For decades it was the default dog food But not anymore The farmer's dog is healthy food Made with real meat and vegetables By people who care about what goes into your dog's body The recipes are developed by board certified nutritionists To be complete and balanced And their food is made To the same safety standards As human food It's lightly cooked to retain vital nutrients And then it's pre -porshed to suit your dog's needs So try the farmer's dog today And get 50 % off your first box of healthy Freshly made food plus free shipping Just go to the farmer's dog .com slash rogan Tap the banner or visit this episodes page to learn more The offer is for new customers only This episode is brought to you by Tacovas If you know one thing That's a must for me ladies and gentlemen It's a pair of boots that won't let me down no matter what I only have one pair of cowboy boots They are Tacovas Every pair of Tacovas boots is hand crafted With over 200 meticulous steps For broken in comfort right out of the box So whether it's a long day or a big night Your Tacovas are built to last and impress And right now you can get 10 % off At Tacovas .com slash rogan When you sign up for email and text That's 10 % off at t -e -c -o -v -a -s Dot com slash rogan 27 Because when I was 21 I was such a moron I just had no opinions on anything So all my jokes were basically about sex I was like sex in relationships Where were you at age 20?
22:32Boston Boston, okay, that's right As I could say because you were at least in a good comedy scene You could see good comedy Yes, yeah, you talked about that It was the best comedy scene Because it was a comedy scene that had world -class comedians That the rest of the country didn't know about So it was a cheat code It was like you're in a gym and you're sparring with world -class fighters Like world championship caliber fighters that the rest of the world hasn't seen yet Right And that emerges sometimes in fight gyms You have a bunch of elite fighters And then all of a sudden there's three world champions in this gym like two years later That's what it was like in Boston Because there were these guys that were the Steve Sweeney's and the Don Gavins Who were as good as anybody that's ever done comedy And no one knew who they were outside of Boston And you get to see them every night just murdering Was there drive to get out?
23:23No It was to make money, stay there Do coke and play golf Those guys were partying I mean I remember the documentary about Boston comedy where they said they would pay comics and coke It was a totally different kind of comedian There were these big football player looking men Who were rowdy, who partied all the time They were all heavy drinkers They all played golf They were all animals They would go on stage and obliterate When I say obliterate, these guys would go on stage with a drink in their hand And they had a fucking act that was his hammered as a samurai sword It was polished From the pause they would take to the eyebrow race And a lot of it was like local references Like local Boston stuff And they would burry these out of town comedians I saw them burry Billy Crystal one night Burry him Burry Satan was nipping at his heels and dragging him down to the netherworld It was horrible He was in hell I feel like when I started comedy drinking was still bit Now I meet all the young comics and everybody sober or they're thinking more about all the different facets But when I started there wasn't YouTube yet Right Comics talk shit in the green room a lot terrible Yep I went and did yuck yucks in Vancouver recently In the green room there's a sign up that says we don't harass people in the green room And I'm like this is different This is different Well Canada is just on another level with their wokeness Canada is on another level but I come back to us Canada I remember I come back driving down the road in Vancouver And there's all these people just lining up And I go what's going on and said oh well they're lining up for the bus that's about to come And I'm like that's that is that's Canadian I mean it's like they're so polite They're waiting they know where the bus will be and they're lining up That is not how it works in Brooklyn And then before they get on the bus they give their land acknowledgement Before they step on the bus Do you think that comedy with the polish The local I mean It feels like comedy's taken a different turn now Now it's if a bit is kind of working we post it it's up it's not polished Well there's some of that I miss some of that But there's still guys like Louie who don't do that A tell doesn't do that It's like I get for young guys coming up It's a very good way to develop an audience Like there's guys that have a clip The clip goes viral on TikTok All of a sudden they're selling out shows everywhere like a guy like Ralph Barbosa It's a funny guy It gets a funny bit it gets put up Bam all of a sudden he's headliner all over the country and it happened to him like that He was opening for me in Dallas Before any of that And you know you always watch the opener And normally I watch the opener like this like this is just Is this what I have to go up after Why didn't I bring my own guy you know whatever And I'm sitting in the green room and I'm going Oh that's a good bit Oh that's a fun oh crowd's going to do it And I'm going this guy's got it And then six months later I was like watching his special right Or it wasn't maybe a year later but Yeah I mean that's a great example He's funny dude Yeah it's a great example what can be done With social media today You know and then there's these guys There's a lot of bad ones Like from Killtony where they do one minute And a lot of these one minute clips get put into reels And then these guys are getting huge responses for this And now they're doing the killers of Killtony Where they're selling out these huge places So it's amazing what can be done But they don't have an act They don't some of them do Like Ari Maddie's 12 years in He was doing stand up in Australia I actually work with him in Australia In like 2006 Dean I think Somewhere around then 2015 somewhere around then So Ari's been at it for a long time So he's really good He's a really solid comic So he's like headlining now because of this And like right But there's guys that are in it four or five years And they don't really have an act yet But they have a couple of good jokes But they'll figure it out They'll figure it out But you don't want to figure all of it out on video In front of the whole world That's what it is now I'm so thankful that As soon as I could I posted my first set on the internet But that was seven years in I didn't even you couldn't even do it I would have done it too soon I mean it still was too soon But it's okay You know look you go back and watch my first episodes of this podcast They were fucking terrible I encourage everybody to go back and watch them Where does one watch the first I bet they're on YouTube They're on everywhere There's somewhere it's everywhere But like when we first started doing it I mean there was no production value I was boring And then you figure out how to do it It's like stand up It's everything else Go back and watch someone's first amateur fight They did well It is very beautiful to watch People get better at stuff Yeah There's a female tennis player right now named Andre Eva I forget how to pronounce her first name But I just watched her at Indian Wells And I saw her four years ago at the French Open Everyone was saying She's about to watch Andre Eva And I'm like this is a child That doesn't know how to play the sport Why are we talking about her?
28:45I watched her last week In absolute nightmare of a beast You know hitting the ball The movement, her shape And it was like oh every day she got better And to see that was nuts And I always go back and watch Oh my god No back joke of it just first grand slam When he's got like the worst haircut And the baggy shirt And the backhand was looking different Now it's just amazing to see how these athletes evolve And I'm sure it's the same for fighters You mentioned it was I love seeing that Tennis is like all things When you really do it Then you can truly appreciate people who are great Yes There's so many things that are like in martial arts Especially when things go to the ground A lot of times people don't understand How difficult a specific maneuver is Like how he did that How he baited him with that And then you have to like Well there's certain things I watch And I'm like oh my god Does everybody appreciate this?
29:42That was insane That's a language It's a language And if you don't speak the language I mean when I don't speak MMA language But that's where good commentators come in Oh they're excited for a reason Yeah That was something that we don't see very often And that helps me I assume that's how it works for tennis people That are not for non -teness people when they're watching tennis I'm sure but I think only a person like you Who is a professional could appreciate the technique And like the changing of joke of it Is backstring I pause it I make my wife come into the living room And I say watch this and she'll watch And she'll go that was good My god are you even seeing what he did He did a short slice to pull them in And then he went and it's like But it's a language that I speak And this is life man Picking these little things we have That we get passionate about is just awesome As I've gotten older I've I used to shy away from tennis a little bit It's an elite sport It's got it's own history And now I'm just like I fucking love it I love that I'm good at it I love that I know it It's like it was little too elite It was little too Country club It definitely it definitely is those things No I think what happened It doesn't have to be And that's why Serena and Venus were such a fun Fuck up to this boy Do you know the freeway Ricky Ross story No Freeway Ricky Ross was a guy who You know Rick Ross the rapper He named himself after a famous cocaine dealer In Los Angeles Called freeway Ricky Ross Freeway Ricky Ross was selling cocaine Unbeknownst to him for the CIA To fund the conscience versus the Sandinistas Okay yeah so this is the cocaine Cowboy type stuff isn't it?
31:24Type stuff but this is about Oliver North This was all about funneling money Into the war He was a tennis player Like an elite tennis player Couldn't even read And was this really good tennis player Who that was like what he was his hope for a scholarship Get involved start selling cocaine Start selling a lot of cocaine I'm sure it doesn't know how he's so successful Because he's working with the CIA He's helping him Goes to jail learns how to read When he's in jail becomes a lawyer in jail Gets himself off Because they tried him on three strikes But they did it for one incident So they did it incorrectly And so he gets out of jail So incarceration educated him To the point where he got himself out But his origins are as a tennis player He's a tennis player Like a really good tennis player Menendez brothers Excellent tennis players One of them played at UCLA Maybe not the best example I'm talking about a guy from South Central A Who can't read Just to say it's not necessarily In a elite sport It's just a sport But all you need is a court You mean it seems pretty cheap You need a flat surface, a tennis racket, a ball Like let's go The kids that were beating me when I was a pro Played on a dirt court With a rope tied between two sticks These South American And Russian player It was not a money sport It was not a sport of money It was a sport of movement and competition And because there's no clock You can have as much time as you want To figure out and beat down your opponent So that gets a certain type of athlete You know, I think it was Jimmy Connors, you said I didn't lose, I just ran out of time in that match I would have figured it out But unfortunately he beat me Yeah, what happened with me I was trying to be a stand -up comic That I was trying to So badly That I was trying to remove the athletic stigma Even now You sometimes say tennis and people kind of back up But as I got better at comedy And more confident in my abilities I said why am I shying away from the sport that I love And that is such a foundational part of me And that weird that you felt like You had to move away from athletics In order to fit in and comedy That's probably a more succinct way to say it And the new book that's out Right now, Lucky Loser is all about how I'm now embracing this tennis Because it gave me all the skills to actually be good in comedy Of course Yeah, discipline realizing Like the tennis player that you're talking about That if you do put in the work over time The results will pay off and you'll see it And you're alone Yeah, figure that shit out About yourself, you're alone And you're going to have no teammates success and failure When I was eight years old I lost in the finals of the Ann Arbor Junior Open And I realized that was going to lose And I started crying on the court And my older brother runs on the court And holds me like a child I'm crying There's a picture of that in the book Now as a parent, I'm going Who the fuck took that picture?
34:33Right, I'm just a kid crying And my brother's holding me Because my parents take you that picture
34:40But man, as a comic Holy shit, we've all felt like that Oh man, it's so personal When you fail as a comic Well, it's important to learn how to lose it things Everything If you marry your high school sweetheart And you guys never broke up You probably missed out me Congratulations on achieving The most difficult thing Humanly possible that everybody admires When you meet a couple And I have two friends of mine That have actually been dating since they were like 16 years old And now they're married with kids in their 40s Congratulations But I think there's some value You're getting your ass kicked I think there's some value in a girl saying Yeah, I don't even like you Like no, you don't like me You know, I think it's good Getting dumped is good I think all that's valuable I think you have to learn And I don't think you learn By winning all the time And I don't think you learn if something's easy Which is why really handsome And really beautiful people Are often ridiculous in the way they behave That's true Because they have five aces And they didn't earn them They were just born with five aces So how do you instill Grit, toughness In a generation As a parent, I see my five -year -old struggling I oftentimes pop in Let me get that for you She's trying to do the buttons on her shirt And I do it for her And I think I shouldn't do it for her She should be struggling to do this But this is a big issue right now, right?
36:06The younger generation, you hear that word grit How do we instill that? Well, sports is a great way to do it It doesn't work with everybody Because some people play sports And they come out even country Yeah, they come out more aggressive Or more competitive Or more psychotic in their pursuits And just like an alienates everything else in their life Or creates trauma for them Not real trauma Or real trauma Yeah, fucking head trauma If you're playing football Yeah, there's I think Difficult things are important for kids It doesn't necessarily have to be that It could be art, it could be music It could be something But I think there's something when you put your attention to something And realize you can get better at this thing And you find yourself in that thing And you find your potential in that thing And you focus on It doesn't have to It's not necessarily that it has to define you Because often times it does Unfortunately, when people are really good at a thing It becomes the whole essence of who they are as a person But it's a valuable tool For elevating your human potential And it's also a way That you can quantify effort versus results And you can do that in sports and games And then think chess and art And things are difficult Like you can say like, I am so much better playing guitar now Because I've been playing three hours a day For six months And look at what I can do now So I know that there's a thing And it teaches you that if there's a thing that you really love And you focus on it That thing if someone does it for a living Why can't you Why can't you Why do I have to be in this fucking bullshit office In this cubicle with these stupid papers And I don't give a shit about that I have to fill out For this company that I don't give a fuck about This episode is brought to you by LifeLock Tax season is already stressful You shouldn't have to worry about identity theft On top of everything else And trust me, it's a big worry Especially since during tax season Your sensitive info does a lot of traveling To places you can't control It goes through payroll Your accountant or your tax consultant And countless other data centers On its way to the IRS Any of them can expose you to identity theft Because they all have the info on your W2 Just the ticket for criminals to steal your identity It's no wonder last year The IRS reported tax fraud Due to identity theft went up 20 % You need LifeLock They monitor millions of data points per second And alert you to threats you could miss If your identity is stolen LifeLock's US -based Restoration Specialist will fix it Backed by the million dollar protection package And Restoration is guaranteed Or your money back Don't let identity thieves take you for a ride Get LifeLock protection for tax season and beyond Join now and save up to 40 % your first year Call 1 -800 LifeLock And use the promo code Joe Rogan Or go to lifelock .com Slash Joe Rogan for 40 % off Terms apply I...
39:05I agree with you Some things We will improve upon faster Based on our natural abilities I loved the way DJs used to seamlessly transfer one song To the other Beat matching whatever that was called I got two... I asked for two turntables for Christmas I... I obsessed over it I fucking sucked at it dude I couldn't do it I tried so hard And then I'm thinking I pick up this tennis racket And it all kind of clicks very quickly Well you have a good frame for tennis first of all Thank you So you're a tall and long which really helps You can reach stuff that other people can't reach You think I don't have a good frame for DJ You have like a foot more space Look how much wider you are My arms are pretty long And yours are like a foot more Dude if Pete's Ampest did this the greatest server Oh yeah I don't they say that this is the same height I think so I think they say that this is your height also Yeah it's not really Well I was heard that from here to here is your foot I saw that I'm pretty woman From here to here is your face But I mean Pete had like extra length Yes and people go how did he get the pop on the serve It's like you know those torque Like Tommy Burns with his punches Tommy Burns was so long and tall Like Deontay Wilders another example Those long tall guys When you have this torque Like you ever see Deontay Wilder He's arguably the greatest one punch knockout artist In the history of the heavyweight division At one point in time he was like What is Deontay's record?
40:44I think it's like 40 And he's had a few losses recently But at one point in time he had like 39 knockouts Out of 40 fights Jesus Which is insane And these are professional fighters he's knocking And he's undersized for the heavyweight division When he fought Tyson Fury Tyson Fury is like 260 he was 209 209 You made it to 40 and 0 40 and 0 and 39 of those 40 were knockouts We're knockouts Look at everybody knockout TKO TKO, KO He knocked out everybody Get the Lewis Ortiz fight Show them the Lewis Ortiz fight Forgive this extremely ignorant question When you say knockout that means like Flatline The guy is done That's not like the ref calls TKO is the ref calls it Knockout is like it's over Like you got flatlines And these are guys that know how to take hits Elite guys Well this guy Lewis Ortiz was on the Cuban Olympic team He's a fucking elite fighter and he was really durable And so Deontay is He's the one with his back to us He's long and tall But he's not giant He's not a big guy He's a big contender A lot of these guys But he catches him with a right hand And flattens him I think this is the first time they fought Jamie Yeah, the second one is the KO With one punch So he beat him up in the first fight too But Ortiz is an elite boxer And Deontay is not the best boxer He's just a hitter And he's just waiting Blam And he hits guys And they're like what the fuck here it is Watch this Wow that It just collapses It didn't even seem like it was that hard of a hit And this is an elite heavyweight Show it again Because it's so crazy it's just one punch It's just flat So while there's just weights, weights, weights It's all waiting, it's not boxing Yeah, it's right It's just waiting, waiting for his chance Ortiz try to get that record Try to get the ring overhand left Now while there needs to get back in the center Right here As King Kong On believable Well you got that kind of power That is so crazy That's great, that's hard for us It's hard for me to even wrap my head around If they show it in the replay Because he hits him on the forehead Which is so crazy Just before that Watch this, just before it Jamie Okay, here it is, watch this He hits him on the forehead man Not punching He's just waiting He's just pulling out him with his left hand And oh my god Look at that But it's all that Torque and length and leverage And just god -given power Like nobody has She's in the fucking slow motion That is so crazy And look at the torque Look at the wide shoulders And the timing and the speed And watch this straightens out Right on his fucking noggin Boom You know, and the follow through With the shoulder, oh my goodness And these sports Like mixed martial arts too These sports aren't for me Because One punch it's done Meaning, I like watching that Meaning, I wouldn't have been a good athlete in that sport I think that Well, in tennis what I love is If you're just bombing aces After the first set Clean slate, we start all over again And in boxing You make one mistake Like that, and it's done Well against that guy But that's very unusual Most guys can't do that Most guys can hit you pretty hard You would take a hard hit, but you could recover it That's crazy That's crazy And Deontay is like in a world of his own And he's also in a world of his own again Because he's not big Like there's Daniel Dubois Who is the, he's, I forget which division He's the champion of right now But he's a giant heavyweight Who knocks everybody out But he's 255, 260 Built like a tank Deontay is literally 40 plus pounds lighter than that And just one punch Blah!
45:03I liked how we watched the lot of that And he hadn't even thrown a punch He's not wasting, he's a hitter He's there to kill you He's not gonna outbox you and be slick In fact, his movement is sometimes awkward He's criticized for having bad foot Where his legs look like sticks He has the skinniest legs You've ever seen in your life, like it's crazy Look at his legs, like how? How? But the power this guy generates is out of this world So his software during a fight is just constantly trying to find the open for one of these huge punches That's the whole time he's doing He's not boxing you He means he's boxing kind of But he's really looking for the big one And you know if that big one's lands, it's 99 For everybody The only buddy who's able to survive it is Tyson Fury Because he's a fucking animal And he rose from the dead in the 12th round of their fight Where it looked like Deonte had knocked him out cold Deonte even went like that at the end of it Because he hit him with the right hand and then a left hook as he was going down And he went flat out on his back And Tyson Fury rose like the undertaker And got right back and won the rest of the round But that's just because he's a...
46:06That's another very, very rare human being Tyson Fury, just an animal Just an animal, one of the greatest boxers of all time And one of the greatest heavyweights without a doubt of all time When you get hit like that There's got to be an enormous physical pain, duh But then there also is like Don't you get scared then after a big hit? Well you get super confused You get confused Because I would get scared You got to kind of shake off the cobwebs Your ears are ringing Your legs don't work right anymore When you get knocked down I only got TKO'd once in a kickboxing fight And ironically it didn't hurt The punch that hit me just twisted my jaw He hit me with a left hook And my legs just gave out Like weep, like gone It's the craziest feeling It's not like you got hurt It's like your legs just shut off Like he clipped me with a left hook That I didn't see in an exchange And when you get hit on the jaw Something happens in the jaw And I don't know what it is with the nerves behind your neck But it just shuts everything off And you're conscious, which is weird Like so it was completely conscious Disconnected Disconnected Right away and I got up And I was like, oh no, I'm in trouble They weren't working good Everything wasn't working good And then I got dropped again He hit me with an upper cut And dropped me And then the referee stopped the fight But totally conscious the whole time But the feeling that you get When you get hit real hard is real weird It's like nothing works right anymore And you got to get on your bike And try to move around And get everything working again And it might take 30 seconds before And in that 30 seconds When he's also swarmed Trained to kill you Now in the UFC It's way more accurate Because when you get knocked down They climb on top And you beat your fucking brains And you're strangle you Which is really what's supposed to happen The whole thing of letting someone get up What you're really doing is giving them a chance to get more damage That's true Because they can recover But not all the way Sometimes a guy gets rocked early in a fight And you can tell for the whole rest of the fight They're still fucked up And they're very defensive So it's safer in your opinion The way UFC does it Where if you start wobbling I'm immediately on you trying to kill you And then it's like As opposed to Boxing where they would get you up And you can maybe I don't think either one is safe I think it's an unsafe sport It's as safe as we can make it We have laws When you can hit someone You can hit them in the back of the head But it's not safe It's a very dangerous, very scary sport But I think realistically When someone gets hurt And someone finishes them off on the ground That's probably less damaged Than they would have taken If you gave them a standing acount Dust their gloves off Made them move forward And let them go back again And get really molly walled Right Because a lot of times those were in the real bad chaos Come from Was when a guy's hurt And then he stands up And The only thing I can even closely compare this to Is being in a car accident Yeah And I...
49:06Let me show you one of the greatest examples of that Alex Pereira Who was a two -division glory world champion Pull up Alex Pereira Keo's Jason Willness So he... He's like the most destructive kickboxer in the history of the sport And he went over the UFC, became a two -division UFC champion Just lost his title last weekend Really close fight, great fight But he hits this guy with a head kick And drops him And you can tell this guy is fucked But they give him the standing acount And then he gets hit with a flying knee on the chin And just sent into the shadow realm And it didn't... Didn't need to happen this way And this is what happens when you take a guy who's like really rocked And kind of fucked to watch this So he catches him with a head kick So he's...
50:00By the way, Jason Willness had beaten him twice before So he drops him with the left tip Is this the first fight? Yeah I don't know Or is this the head kick? I don't know I don't know if this is the one I think this is the one when they went back and forth I don't think this is the one where he chaos him I think this is the one where he drops him 65? Maybe I guess that's later Yeah, try to find the later one Oh, this is it, this is the one Because I can tell by his haircut So, Pereira at this time was the champion And he was getting revenge on Willness Who had beaten him before And stopped him with low kicks in one of their fights So he had kicks him Boom!
50:35So right now, he's fucked And on MMA, he would follow up Beat him a couple times That'll be it But Willness is like, they're giving him a chance To clear his head, your coach To like, get up immediately Show that you're okay Yeah, and he's like, they don't feel the blood They'll watch this Boom! Oh my god Yeah, that's the kind of shit that happens When you're really already fucked So he can hit you with this Flying Scissor knee Right on the chin What the fuck is that, dude? And he's the most ferocious Not an artist Literally in the history of sport Oh my god And that's like legal and everything Oh, yeah It's encouraged It's not just legal That's celebrated That's one of the greatest techniques in the history of the sport In Alex Pereira That's how he won his first UFC fight He won with that I see another nasty one Pull up Pereira K .O.'s Micolitis You want to see another nasty one So this is Pereira's first entrance into the UFC And I'm a giant fan of kickboxing So I watch Moitai I watch Dutch kickboxing I watch Glory I watch everything I can about kickboxing And I knew this guy was really special So I was completely hyping him up In this first UFC fight I'm like just watch And he came through and flying colors And he came through with that flying knee And it's so nuts The amount of power this guy can generate And with punches and with kicks But with the flying knee You have so much torque You're literally throwing your body weight up into the air Look at this So how do you avoid a flying knee?
52:08It's in the second round, Jamie So it's right after this Right at the beginning of the second round So start the second round And he's like, fuck this dude I'm just going to catch him coming in and flatline him This is Watch this I mean this is nutty Here it is But it's a nasty wealth On his left cheek Oh Oh my god Oh my god
52:42That is so fat He's such a fucking animal He's such a monster dude So how would you even You can't block that You just try to get away with it The fuck out of the way or that You don't want to block that Because if you're You should block it rather than take it on the chin But once he's in the air like that If that catches your arms You could break your forearm I mean the amount of power That's involved in that particular technique Is fucking extraordinary This episode is brought to you by Robin Hood Gold With Robin Hood Gold You can now enjoy the VIP treatment Receiving 3 % IRA match on retirement contributions The privileges of the very privilege are no longer exclusive With Robin Hood Gold Your annual IRA contributions are boosted by 3 % plus You also get 4 % APY on your cash in non -retirement accounts That's over 8x the national savings average The perks of the high net worth are now available for any net worth The new gold standard is here with Robin Hood Gold To receive your 3 % boost on annual IRA contributions Sign up at robinhood .com slash gold Investing involves risk Rate subject to change 3 % match requires Robin Hood Gold at $5 a month for one year from first match Must keep funds in IRA for 5 years Go to robinhood .com slash boost Over 8x the national average saving account interest rate claim Is based on data from the FDIC as of November 18th, 2024 Robin Hood Financial LLC Member SIPC Gold membership is offered by Robin Hood Gold LLC This episode is brought to you by Zippercrooter I love my job I can talk about what I want I get to meet all sorts of interesting people And discuss some very interesting topics and even better I get to work with people who also love what they do It's the fucking best Because you can see how passionate they are And just the working environment it creates If you want to create a workspace like that use Zippercrooter They can help you put together a dream team Try it out for free Right now at zippercrooter .com slash rogan And not only will they help you find passionate people who love their work But they'll also do it fast Zippercrooter smart matching technology Will start sending you candidates immediately after you post your job Once you see a candidate you like You can send them a pre -written invite to apply message to reach out So you can get the ball moving even sooner Higher experienced people who are excited about what they do with Zippercrooter Four out of five employers who post on Zippercrooter get a quality candidate within the first day See for yourself Go to this exclusive web address to try Zippercrooter for free Zippercrooter .com slash rogan Again that zippercrooter .com slash rogan Zippercrooter the smartest way to hire Because it's a natural movement of your hips It's a thing that you do your whole life running and jumping So you can explode very quickly And you're hitting someone with your knee Which is the most immobile part Like if you want to hit someone with a joint It's elbows and knees but the knees preferable But aren't you putting yourself in a vulnerable position to throw a flying knee?
56:12Yeah, you got to wait till a guy's fucked And that's what he does He waits till you're fucked Because if you are jumping in the air Exposing yourself So what I would do is I would move out of the way Joe And then I would pop him But some guys are just really good like John Jones when he won the light heavyweight title One of the craziest things that John did He was 22 years old And he's fighting Mauricio Shogun who is a legend He was a light heavyweight champion He was a legend of this organization called Pride in Japan Where they sold out like 90 ,000 seed arenas I mean he's a like a real legend of this war And John opens with a flying knee Opens first move flying knee catches him And then just beats the shit out of him And wins the title and becomes the youngest ever UFC champion That's a great man This is the beginning of the fight Now Shogun is like I said He's a fucking legend and a knockout artist And John starts right away Boom flying knee to open up the fight And just put on a clinic Put on a clinic and won the title at 22 years of age That's a ball's he moved to start with that He's a ball's he moved to fuck Yeah that's a big swing right out of the gate Yeah that's a crazy move But some guys can pull it off And it helps being tall like Alex is very tall Yeah John's tall so it's hard to hit their chin But you know it doesn't always work Like sometimes guys do it and they get knocked out cold How does your fucking kneecap not break too?
57:34It doesn't No you kneecap versus chin I'll take kneecap all day long Especially when you knees a bent And you're hitting him with this part right here You can hit that pretty hard on things You'd be surprised I have so much respect for these athletes And I'm also I can't be far enough away from it Just be it go wrong I want to show you the flying knee go wrong Pull up Fedor a million ankle versus Oh Andre Alovsky I'm sorry You want to see a flying knee go wrong? Yeah Andre Alovsky Fedor a million ankle So this is Andre Alovsky was actually winning this fight And he actually was kind of tuning in Fedor up And he was hitting him with some big shots And he got a little crazy And he leapt in with a flying knee and got flatline Well that's what I...
58:16That's This is what you would do That's what I was thinking This is what I would do No but I was thinking this is a vulnerable position You don't want to be in the air True So he's fighting the guy with the bald head That's Fedor a million ankle who's a legend So watch Alovsky He catches him with the kick He's feeling cocky He tries a flying knee boom Oh shit Flatlined But he's fighting in Fedor That's literally Okay The greatest heavyweight of all time It's not one of the greatest Like... There's the argument that he's the greatest So he catches him on the chin as he's leaving in Like perfect punch So the guy with the beard thought...
58:49He thought he was vulnerable Yeah He was beating his ass a little bit And he made a mistake And he tried to come in cocky with a flying knee And he got clipped on my jaw Oh my god And as soon as he gets hit You just see his flying knee need just drop Also you got to think where Fedor threw that punch Because Fedor knew he was going in the air This is like the reeds this guy's able to get Yeah He sees our Lovsky make a motion like Bend at the knees Okay, here we go Like he's going to launch himself And so if you look at where he punches I mean punches him so high up in the air So he knew where his head was going to be Look at that Look how high he's...
59:21He's ducked down And our Lovsky's way up in the air And he catches him perfectly on the chin Like that is just an understanding of positioning And where the guy is going to be And where... What's the timing of your punches? This is reminding me of the way Roger Federer would notice his opponent With quarter of an inch Open up his grip on the run And Roger would know Forehand slice is coming I'll sneak in and pop And now it's much different sport obviously Really? But it's reading... Just the grip? Yeah, dude if you just... Typically he goes it like this And this time he's doing it time... Boom They go off What's so different about tennis obviously Is then you just volley the ball for a winner It's 15 love You don't get head kicked You don't get fucking knocked out I mean this is why...
1:00:04This shit Fascinates me but... I don't know The consequences are so great The consequences are great People look at it as a barbaric horrific thing Which is valid I understand why pacifists and people are very peaceful Don't want to have anything to do with violence I get it But what it is to me Is the ultimate problem solving Yeah It's problem solving You have a person in front of you That is doing all of these things To try to throw you off They're fainting you They're moving They're switching stances They're shooting it for takedowns If they don't want So they can catch you with a punch on the way in There's so many variables you have to think about So it's just like High level problem solving with dire physical consequences Yeah I love sport Because it It teaches life lessons with very low stakes But In this These sports There's high stakes Yeah That's very interesting for me Because I would much rather my kid Play soccer or tennis Learned some important lessons with low stakes But this type of thing That is serious stakes, man It is serious stakes I think kids Especially boys Should all learn how to fight So they don't ever fight That's what I think I as a 45 -year -old grown man I wish I would have learned how to fight Yeah And I think it's probably not too late It's not too late You got a gym over here Yeah, I was telling you You'd be great at it You have long limbs You're athletic So that's what I should be doing That's a huge For a jiu -jitsu Because there's certain things That you'll be able to catch That other people can't catch With shorter limbs Like a darts choke So a darts choke A darts choke So say if you come to grab me And you have your head here And your arm wraps around me like this I can shove my arm under like this Go off the side of your neck And clamp it like this And now I've got you in a wicked choke It's called a darts choke The darts choke You will be way better at that than me Because you have an extra six inches That you could seal this thing up So your hand will go further than mine You'll be able to grab it deeper I'm riding down darts choke And what I'll do tonight on my YouTube Is I'll watch some darts chokes And then you do it the other way It's an anaconda So you either go armpit this way It's a darts Or you go head this way Armpit that way It's an anaconda And with the anaconda You roll like an anaconda And then you squeeze them deeper into the choke And I just squeeze until the referee says it's over And you're long legs You could wrap her on their body to secure them in place You could grab a hold of one of their legs So they can't turn away from you If you turn into them and fucking keep the squeeze on Do you be wicked at it And in a competition That happens until the ref calls it Or it's a person taps out most of the time Most of the time you tap out Because you know it's over If you're a psycho you go to sleep And there are a lot of psychos Just like people choke on my conscious That happens all the time Guys just say fuck it I'm gonna get choked unconscious and they just go out And then the referee stops you Hopefully, hopefully But sometimes the referees miss it And sometimes someone's out for like seconds While someone's still fucking squeezing the shit out of their neck And then the referee finally figures it out Like in the shadow realm I do absolutely love that in these sports There's this extreme violence High stakes But then also a simple tap Is a mutual agreement 100 % That's fucking awesome And if you don't stop when someone taps You would get kicked out of the sport There's a guy named Hussamar Paul Harris Who is one of the scariest motherfuckers to ever fight Because he was a leg lock specialist And what he would do is rip your knees apart And he wouldn't let go when he tapped And he got kicked out of the UFC for it Because he did it to so many people He was known for not letting go Right And these guys would be screaming in agony And slapping and tapping him out And he would be still twisted And he was built like a human pit bull He was like 5 .7, 185 pounds of solid muscle And he would just dive on your legs And roll into these positions And rip your knees apart With a heel hook A heel hook is so terrible Because your knee has a lot of strength going forward And backwards But it has almost none going side to side So they isolate the top of it with their legs They wrap the heel into the crook of their elbow And then they wrench that motherfucker apart It's literally twisting your knee apart And it's terrifying Oh my god And he cripples people Like you were fucked He'll tear your ACL, your MCL, your meniscus You're gonna go a whole year before you can fight again You're gonna have to get surgery to reconstruct your knee And then your knees never gonna be the same Because your meniscus is shot now And maybe some of your cartilage So this is him I don't know I don't know Oh, I don't know So this is a fight that he had against David Avalon And this is fucked Because they stop the motion And they put him back into the same position And when they put him back into the same position He doesn't let go So he holds on to the heel hook And just wrenches the fuck And shit out like this right here Ah!
1:05:08He let go there He let go there Because I think they were like chastising him And make sure... Look at that Look at what he does I don't want to look real And look at the build on this guy Paul Harris was a fucking specimen And he's trying to turn the knee sideways He's ripping this shit apart right here, man He's pulling it backwards It's backwards and at a slight angle I mean, this is horrific And look at the build on Paul Harris Imagine the fucking force The size of this guy's legs The size of his torso And perfect technique And he's just ripping his fucking knee apart That's a nasty knee bar right there There's so horrible to watch But in MMA He wound up getting kicked out of the UFC Because I think it was Mike Pierce See if you can find the Mike Pierce fight It might not have been Pierce it I love these fights I love that the tap Generally speaking, it does Of course But in this case The Mike Pierce one, he's screaming and tapping And Paul Harris is terrible Still ripping it apart I mean, one of my favorite parts of tennis Is how they'll battle for five and a half hours And then they calmly walk So here it is Look, he's tapping He's watching So he gets it He's tapping And he won't let go He's still in the referees on him He's still yanked on it So those extra seconds You just rip your shit apart So he taps immediately See, none of this has to happen Right He was tapping immediately I feel like the ref was on that I know, but it's like Paul Harris doesn't give a fuck He's out for blood I mean, he had like a crazy childhood He grew up on a farm with like no food Like in here It's really like he's He's feral He's feral And he's super technical Which would serve you, I'm sure Oh yeah Well, until you get kicked out of the sport You know God, it's incredibly
1:06:56Violent but also systematic in its understanding of the human body Oh yeah We're going to know that the knee doesn't go this way No, it's really All sports are like this, actually Yeah, I think all sports at the highest levels They have to be like that Because you only get so far with genetics And so far with the natural speed and endurance There's certain aspects of it that require a careful considered study And wouldn't you, if you know your opponent as a guy that likes to do the Wouldn't you then and your training work on Yes Defending that and also like making sure your knee can withstand more of that than normal You know, you're not going to be able to do that There's only so much to do There's no special knee -pneed pill you can take You got a tap when you get into those positions And then you got to make sure that you don't get into those positions Which is the most important thing The tapping must be so humbling as a fighter Because you've trained so hard You want to win so badly and yet you have to do this thing You have to press the eject button Well, hopefully you will tap because guys haven't tapped And they've gotten their arms broken in half And I've seen quite a few of those Incuting legends like Frank Meer one time He tried, you mean to tap?
1:08:01Yeah Because he fought Antonio Nogarra Who was another legend who was former heavyweight champion of pride And he caught him in a Kamora and snapped his upper arm And we watched his arm crack and then go limp And you could see like where it was cracked up here Like oh, it was horrific That's terrible So hard to watch When you're commentating Are you present moment completely 100 % You're not thinking like It's not like these baseball commentators were like I got a story I'll tell later in the snow No Because it is that Yeah, great Especially not while the actual fight is going on The actual fight is life and death You have to be locked in But Daniel Kormier my co So there's like two color commentators me and Daniel Kormier And there's John Anacusa play by play guy Me and Daniel fuck around a lot We joke around a lot about stuff Because he's like a fun guy But when things are serious, we're serious You have to be like You know, this is like You're representing these people's hard work You're trying to like put words to I love that Yeah, you have to be very serious about it Because the stakes are so high And it's wild though that people might know you If they're just being introduced to you as the commentator for that And maybe don't know the other stuff And What's confusing for sure But it's also like it's one of the things that I'm most impressed with by what you do Is as someone that has this passion for tennis I'm like It's so cool how you dive into a completely different world Yeah And We just can't apologize for it You can't wonder what other people think about it You just have to be yourself Right And I grew up a martial artist Right Martial arts is an enormous part of my life It's an enormous part of like How I became who I am Yeah So for me, like, commentating on martial arts is normal Right, you're not a comedian who then switched over to martial arts Because it served you It's your foundation of who you are And you also happen to be comedian and podcast host Yeah, but I'm not interested in being funny Yeah, you know, I'm just trying to do that Like I've done commentary on professional pool too Whoa And as I play pool Yeah And I play pretty good Yeah So I really understand with the game And I know what's going on So I've done commentary on that too What's the same thing What's your favorite pool movie?
Read the full transcript
1:10:13The hustler The hustler The only answer to that question is the hustler I thought the color of money had a run It's okay It's okay The color of money is good It's a good tournament movie It's a good mood But you know, there's some things in it And because Paul Newman was in it You know, it kind of gave it some validity Yeah Because it was the same Walter Tevis novel As the hustler The color of money It was very different The book was very different though But yeah, the color of money was great Because he got a lot of people playing pool again But the hustler is just an amazing film Like the actual film itself is amazing It's like Piper Laurie is incredible in it It's just It's George C.
1:10:54Scott is in it Jackie Gleason plays Minnesota Facts And he's Who's by the way, Jackie Gleason was a real pool player It's probably the only guy that's ever played a pool player In a movie that really could play My brother once got a book for Christmas called How to hustle your friends of pool And it was in our basement We had a pool table But it was one of those things same That I worked at it I can never get it right And eventually the other things came more naturally to me But it is fun Pool is something If you really want to play right You have to get coached Okay Yeah, it's just like tennis I'm sure It's like you can develop some bad habits And bad fundamentals that you'll never You're never going to pass a certain level of play But I think it's like everything I think it's like chess It's like tennis It's like Shultz was in here the other day And he's into the sport paddle Have you seen paddle?
1:11:44Is this PADL? Yes Padel? Yeah, this is the Well, I've heard Padel It depends on how you want to help Pretend you're shooting with it Ah, perfect Of course Or if you're Spanish Oh, did they say Padel? That's where it's from, yeah Oh, well why don't we call it Padel then? That's where it's from Yeah, I said paddle Is it paddle? Yeah, so you know Tennis has had this great Historical run on elite racket sports And then pickle ball has been this Counter response to tennis Silly ball Loud noise Don't really have to move much And pickle ball has been taking off I don't know if you've played or if you've seen it King Rock plays every day Okay, perfect That gets up and eight in the morning You play pickle ball with a strainer That is exactly my point Okay, I was in Scottsdale, Arizona recently I did an hour of pickle ball The community there had music going, cracking beers Cost to come over play with us Very fun Very fun I then go over to the other side And play tennis, which is my sport And no joke, this older couple says You're talking too loudly on the courts It's this beautiful dichotomy of these two sports I don't know pickle ball sport But Padel comes along and seems to be This middle ground What I don't like about pickle ball Is you get to what they call the kitchen line And you can't move anymore, you're frozen So you just stand there frozen And you knock the ball around I like a sport, I want 360 degree movement I don't want to be...
1:13:16I don't want the dimension of the court to restrict my movement Or the rules of the game Padel seems to be both It's tennis, but it's in this box And they sometimes run outside of the box Yeah, they run outside of the box I mean it's fucking insane And I've actually never played But the points never end Because you're on this... I should see people I mean look at this shit He's going outside the box No, that's nuts That is nuts So it almost seems gimmicky to me That's funny that Andrew plays But I would like to play this And look, you know Also, one of the best things that happened for racket sports Is HDTV did When you were a kid Watching Jimmy Connors jump back You never even see the fucking ball Right, right It was the same color as the court And this shit now is unbelievable to watch That's like what they've done with hockey Would they highlight the puck?
1:14:07I love that shit That's a game changer Now I know what's going on The first people made fun of it And I was like, I need... And hockey with the Substitutions on the fly I never know who the fuck's on the ice Yeah I love that though I love that they do that That's so cool I've been watching professional lacrosse lately Once I realized they could beat the fuck out of each other I didn't know they could fight like they do I don't know like a fight They fight And they wear shoes Which is crazy Because now you're barren Uncle boxing In the middle of a game What does the shoes have to do with it? What do you mean?
1:14:35Good grip This episode is brought to you by Visible Is your wireless full of stuff you didn't sign up for? Don't need or don't understand Visible gives you everything you want from wireless And nothing you don't No confusing plans No hidden fees No nonsense With Visible You just get unlimited everything Unlimited data Talk text And hotspot All powered by Verizon's 5G network Plus they're an all digital wireless service So you can easily switch within a matter of minutes From your phone, either in their app or online Ready to switch? Visible has an offer for you The Joe Rogan Experience listeners Join by March 24th And new members can get the Visible Plus plan For just $30 per month for 25 months That's Visible's best plan with premium data For $15 off each month for 25 months Get Visible's fastest network now with even more savings Switch at Visible .com slash Rogan With the promo code Rogan For this offer from Visible Didn't think wireless could be so transparent So Visible?
1:15:47Well now you know Switch today at Visible .com slash Rogan Terms apply, see Visible .com for network management details This episode is brought to you by Intuit TurboTax One thing I've learned from doing this podcast Is the value of having real experts around Whether it's someone breaking down complex science, health Or even philosophy Having the right people makes all the difference That's exactly what TurboTax does for your taxes Because now taxes is matching with a TurboTax live expert For your unique tax situation Your expert is backed by cutting edge technology That cross checks millions of data points for absolute accuracy And while they work on your taxes You can get real time updates on their progress And get the most money back All while you go about your day Which means less stress for you And the best possible outcome for your return It's 2025, it's time to file like it Now this is taxes Intuit TurboTax Get an expert now at TurboTax .com I mean like a clean and shoot Well the difference between running around on ice dates You're sliding around The fighting is like Yeah they're fighting But they're kind of compromised Because they can't really like You know good skaters can kind of hold It's not like having grip with your shoes And being able to reel up You can really hurt people Yeah They're beating the shit out of each other I'm like wow The cross, the cross always kind of had the like Dushy rich kid sport But it is incredible Yeah, but this this stop doing this in the 90s Yeah they stop doing that I don't watch talking But I like my favorite My favorite I love they put a circle around it When it flies around It got a lot of pushback But I always enjoyed it Sorry That was the only thing they do Show it sometimes I like it That's funny I always avoided winter sports when I was a kid I didn't learn how to ski Until I was in my 40s And I never learned how to ice skate Because I was fighting all the time So I didn't want to do anything They would hurt myself So I would like And everybody was like We're going to go skiing I was like Yeah Fuck out of here Like I need these It was like super important Yeah This got everybody excited though A few weeks ago What do they do?
1:17:59They can't fight Or a game There's nine fights in Or three fights Oh yeah, yeah, yeah Seconds they just start squaring off Yeah, why we upset at Canada Is this over tariffs? Yes 100 % They booed us over tariffs They're also trying to I mean it worked They got a ton of attention So everyone was Who's red and who's blue? Well, Canada's red There you go Who's winning this exchange? Blue is America One dude keeps his helmet on That's ridiculous That helmet's problem I do love when you hear Their microphones during a fight And they fight And then they go like Ready to be done? Yeah, I'm ready to be done I love that I was at the comic strip In Edmonton years ago When Canada played US in the Gold Medal game Someone sent me The country's Water usage During that game And at every Period And the water usage Would go up Because everyone went Would go to the bathroom Right And it was like the whole Fucking country Went to the bathroom At the same time And Canada won And I think it was an overtime I was the only American there But Man, do they love A good winter sport up there We got to become friends with Canada again We have to Yeah, you know I'm down This is so ridiculous I can't believe that there's Like anti -American And anti -Canadian sentiment going on Is there anti - There it is That's nuts The water consumption Is there That's crazy Right I love on that If I say something I got to be ready For you guys to fact check my ass Jamie's ready Is there anti -Canadian sentiment Yeah, there's a lot of idiots That now think That there are fucking enemies Okay That why we slept And died in Canada Right Welcome They don't have their own military Well, they don't So let's just like deal with it As it is You know Trudeau is out Right He's already leaving Yeah They got a new guy Who says bad Who says bad Same thing But they got a new party 150 people voted No, they have a new New guy running the country But they Their whole election system is so different They don't have like a specific time when they have elections They can call a election And I think it happens within three weeks The whole thing is so crazy And so I don't know what's happening with their politics But I just want America and Canada get along I think it's ridiculous Yeah It's a good As someone who's from Ann Arbor, Michigan You know And I don't really think they should be our 51st state There I said it That you said it He's on record It would be fun if it happened It would be fun I think Greenland's more accessible Yeah You could probably buy that Yeah If you want a 51st state That's Greenland Plus if global warming is real Because of all the digging and oil and all that shit You know Be good to have a cold spot to Eventually warm up I just read this crazy book Called Power Metals By Vince Bizer Possibly We had him on the show Daily Show And it's all about like minerals and metals And what we need for our batteries And cobalt mining in Africa And I went down all this YouTube shit with like Oh yeah The child, you know, labor and all But very I was very ignorant to how much we need and use metals Oh yeah Nickel copper You know, wild batteries EVs, everything And so then when the news came out the Trump wanted Greenland I was like oh this is starting to make more sense to me now There's a lot of stuff up there There's a lot of stuff in the sky If they can mine asteroids If they can successfully figure it out on mine asteroids They can get a lot of precious minerals Let's fucking do that Yeah well That's a few decades away But they'll figure it out eventually They've been able to get samples from asteroids And they know like what the composites are And you know, there's asteroids out there That are filled with trillions of dollars in minerals That is fucking nuts I know, it's nuts Yeah, and they can figure it out They will They'll eventually figure it out But I had said Darth Cara on Who has done He's done some pretty brilliant And brave investigative work on the cobalt mines And you know, he took video I'll have to check that What they call artisinal mines It's essentially slaves Digging this stuff out of the ground with their babies on their back This is from Sudars book Yeah I mean this is fucking crazy And they're digging the cobalt out of the ground With like literally with sticks Everybody's breathing it in It's all toxic These women have babies on their back The babies are breathing it in And then there's these pools, right?
1:22:14That you put the water And it's toxic water And the pools are different colors And we don't know where this goes And the water seeps in And is this also I can get the new iPhone 14 max Or whatever the fuck it is? 100 % That's exactly what it is It's terrible It's the only way we're getting that stuff It's most of the cobalt's coming from that area And it's also then you go to the actual construction of the phone itself And you see those factories Those Foxconn factories Or they have nets around them to keep people from jumping off the roofs And they realize these people are working in these horrific conditions So that you can get an iPhone that costs $13 .99 Yeah Instead of $15 .99 Or whatever the fuck it would be If it was made in America With people paid a working wage And healthcare And all the stuff that you're supposed to get If you're going to be working So why should you have a company like Apple that's worth More than any corporation ever Like Apple's insanely profitable So we did this piece of the Daily Show once about the sugar cane agriculture in the central Florida They over fertilize it It makes more sugar faster All of the fertilization goes down to Lake Okeechobee Then goes out to the oceans where the algae blooms The manatees die And I'm just going I think most people would pay an extra 25 cents a year For this not to happen to spend more on sugar Why are we doing this?
1:23:40I would pay more to have my iPhone be made in America by American hands Yeah we've talked about that But the problem is the infrastructure that's required to be able to build phones here Is a decade away It takes a long time to build the kind of factories that can have like the tolerances of these chips And they've been doing it in China forever It's stuck in a wild I mean I was loading my kids in the car Put my phone on top of my car Because I didn't have an extra hand Forget it's there Driving through Pennsylvania Yeah and it's gone I hear it pop up up all over the highway it's bouncing I stop I finally find my phone in the woods And 9 -1 -1 is on the phone We recognize that there was a crash Are you okay?
1:24:25And I'm like What? Holy shit That's in this thing Yeah That's pretty wild It's wild It's also watching everything you do And listening to all your conversations and recommending Google searches Why don't you buy this Michael? Hey Michael, maybe you'd be interested in buying this It seems like you were interested But what are talking about vacation homes in Hawaii? Look Michael What about when you've already bought it? That always is weird Yeah it's weird When it's just feeding the algorithm I'm in the algorithm Yeah you get sucked into the algorithm You know it's It's an interesting world that we live in with all that stuff Because it's like you're constantly getting inundated That's one of the things that I really enjoy about podcasts It's the one time for a three hours a day Where I don't look at my phone Yeah I don't have any text coming in I don't do not disturb I don't care I mean that could arguably be why Maybe you have this supernatural memory and brain power Because you, more than anybody, probably in the world Maybe in the United States are actually away from this for four hours Just talking That could be interesting That's what I just cracked something That's something that maybe do something with that But I think it's just the sheer volume of people that I've talked to Yeah So you're getting information But you're retaining a lot of that I've always been good at that for some reason Yeah I mean you just referenced the guests you had this previous book Yeah Are you retaining...
1:25:48Are you doing a trick or anything to retain? No You're just locked in and engaged Yeah Yeah I take supplements from memory to them Yeah And I take alpha brain, which is a... I saw It's called a Neutropa I saw it out there You didn't grab something I didn't want to be too... No, getting too sharp for the pot Too sharp for the thing that... Vent machine You get free alpha brain You just press the button How many pods do you get free alpha brain on? That's pretty sick Anyone you want It's a... But that stuff's legit It really works And it really does... That was from my company on it And when we first made it...
1:26:22A lot of people were saying, oh, this is snake oil, this is bullshit I had already had experience with Neutropics Because there's a company called Neuro1 And Bill Romanowski, the football player, developed it Because he was having memory problems after all the hits And I was on a radio show in San Francisco And one of the guys was working out with Bill Romanowski And he started taking this Neuro1 It's like, dude, it's like, I'm so much more focused It's really great I'm like, okay, I'm gonna try this And I was like, oh, this is legit I feel like my mind feels clear I feel like I have more thought energy if that makes any sense So then we started experimenting with different ones And there's a bunch I like One of them is this company Neuro These are Mints, NeuroMints But they make NeuroGum, which I'm a big fan of I chew it all the time It's gum that has like a little bit of caffeine And a little bit of theanine in it What's the...
1:27:16The goal Just to kind of keep the brain... Keeping the energy high Yes Yeah, you want to provide your brain with the nutrients Your brain needs to produce human neurotransmitters Or I'm gonna take this Maybe we'll do like it before or after That, you know, let's mine I usually take two Okay I'm gonna take the Mints But they're legit So this is one NeuroGum's another one True brain is another one that I've tried That's really good It's like little packets you drink I've found... I just assumed it was like kids and age And getting older That I'll lose my train of thought more often Than I ever had before Oh, yeah And I hate it It's not fun It's not fun And everything I read says Like keep exercising Get blood flowing your body This may be sauna hell Sleep's a big one Isn't it crazy how much an athlete...
1:28:05The best athletes treat sleep Oh, yeah I mean, Pete Sanders used to travel with duct tape So when he'd get to the hotel He would tape the curtain to the window So no excess light would get him Because he wanted like Full darkness A float tank situation And I'm like, you know, at that level When you're playing for one in the world Like all that little stuff Yep And that's wild Meanwhile, you give my house I lay down, we shut off the lights Sonos has a light The Wi -Fi thing has a light The clock has... There's so much extra excess light all the time Yeah, it's not good Maybe that's why I can't...
1:28:39Remember the joke I'm about to tell Sleep is a big problem You know, you really need to get a solid Seven, eight hours of sleep every night And if you don't, you're gonna feel it One of the best supplements For mitigating the effects of sleep deprivation Is actually creatine Okay Creatine is actually... My buddy just start taking it I don't know I take it every day I took it in college The strength team coach Made me take it And it bothered my stomach Well, there's different forms of creatine I take it in gummy form Which doesn't seem to bother me at all I've had people that take it like liquid They poured into water in the get diarrhea I haven't had that happen But it's also like there's different kinds of creatine A really good creatine Like you want a reputable company That makes creatine monohydrate And then there's another thing called HMB That people mix with creatine But creatine, besides being a muscle builder Because it really does enhance your recovery And helps you build muscle It also is a Neutropic It also helps brain function Which makes sense Because if your body works better Your brain works better And it makes you retain more water You have more water in your body Which is obviously also a good thing And especially for an athlete And especially for someone who wants to think Like one of the worst ways to think is if you're dehydrated If you're dehydrated and tired Like you're fucked You're working on like 50 % brain capacity Well, I love watching sports You know, the end you see these silly mistakes Always Why would they do that?
1:30:07That's, you know, why'd the ball go through his legs Why'd he choose to serve to that side? Why'd he throw the fastball down the middle Because they're fucking dehydrated and tired And it's crazy how that affects brain function And that's why I love the couch fan Oh my god, why'd he throw that? It's like with a beer in your hands You're literally drinking a beer This guy's a pussy If I was getting that money I'd fight my Tyson I'd come out swinging The couch fan is their best But yeah, like in fights you see it all the time When people are exhausted they make terrible decisions They shoot for takedowns They get caught in guillotine chokes because they're exposed They're just exhausted And they just take a chance And they don't have the energy to complete the technique correctly Yeah Oh dude, I mean my parenting With a full night's sleep Versus like how to early flight I mean it's crazy Yeah, everything is I mean I'm like I'd like to think a kind patient parent On a good night's sleep but like When I get home after a road gig Or whatever even coming up This Sunday I have an early flight I'm going to get to Brooklyn I know it's going to be 1 p .m.
1:31:12And the wife's going to hand me the kids and go your turn Right And I'm going to be like dude the patience is going to be tough Well you're going to be exhausted from the flight Yeah You know what I found helps a lot from flights is If you can work out immediately After? Right when you land Like right when you land Just get into it Just get something going Yeah Even if it's 20 minutes do a bunch of push -ups and sit -ups and chin -ups Yeah Just get it going Just reset the clock Because when you exert yourself like hard You have a hard you know 20 minutes to half hour of working out It resets you And you're like I'll get it back I'm okay I'm very excited about this weekend because My former assistant coach at Illinois where I played tennis Is the head coach here at Texas Oh you too I you too No He's won an NCAA championship His name is Bruce Burke He's an excellent coach But he's like dude Come hit with us Oh wow So I'm going to be training with the Texas team And their beasts These guys are you know it's So that's exciting for me That's cool That's super fun to get to do that And then perform a mothership dude Never even step foot in this place Oh I'm excited for you to go And it's selling out so fat I mean you've created it Last time I was here it was like still an idea Yeah Adam E .Gate was around But now I mean it's just amazing man You've built something amazing Yeah it is good It's better than we have ever hoped We never hoped it was going to be what it is now It's perfect Was the comedy store
1:32:43A foundational thought with this? Oh yeah Yeah for sure Because the midsy's room is obviously a testament to her Yeah And I never met midsy I never fucking met her That's crazy That's her That painting sir Let me ask something that's crude Was she hot? She was hot when she was young Yeah When she looked like that It was hot Because I see like I go to the La Jolla comedy store And I see all the pictures of her And I'm like I think midsy was hot Yeah but I didn't ever She was hot when she was young I didn't meet her then I met her in 94 You know she was already quite a bit older And she started suffering the beginnings Of her neurological condition Like she could have little bit of shakes But she was there You know you could have conversations with her And she helped me a lot And she also helped foster an environment of creativity And of collaboration And of you know there was It was a home for a lot of road comics Like there was this thing that you knew That you would go home And on Tuesday and Wednesday nights We would be at the store having the time of our lives On Tuesday and Wednesday nights We would be working on new jokes We would be doing sets We would laugh together Everybody was cracking jokes in the parking lot It was so much fun And it was that home environment That we wanted to recreate as much as possible That's awesome And to make it as comic -friendly as public What if you ever wanted in a club they didn't have Okay let's get that Like how do you want it this to be How do you want to get to the stage What do you think we do about And I asked everybody And Louis CK gave me some of the best advice Like Louis told me to lower the ceilings I shortened the stage in the smaller room He told me like to deaden the sound as much as possible Everybody wants that echo Because it makes it sound like people are killing more You want clear sound He's dead right on everything Wow Because he has a production mind He doesn't just have a mind of a comic He also has a mind of like What's the best way to set things up for a film or for us Set the environment You feel and notice all that stuff on stage As performing recently Ceilings tall Crowd is full Yeah But where's the laughs going?
1:34:50Am I killing? I feel like I'm doing well But I'm not hearing it Yeah Now I'm in my head a little bit Right? That's changed my order Now I'm doing the bit that I know is going to kill Instead of just letting things really And it's like all of that matters Yeah All of that matters High ceilings is a big thing It's a problem You want to be locked in You want everybody to be locked in The comedy story the way you just described that Was was really became my clubhouse Yeah And I was a little bit I got past there when you were gone for a little while And I remember when you came back Changed dramatically But LA was really really tough for me initially Upon moving there And then all of a sudden you get into a place like that There's a place to drink There's a place to talk shit There's a place to Oh my god Even just parking Right?
1:35:39Park here and then just hang Yeah You know it was it changed the game It changed the game for me It changed the game for me This episode is brought to you by Gopuff Does grocery shopping drive you nuts? The lines and the chaos and the inflated prices Then you have all these third party delivery apps With their ridiculous fees, markups And you still have to wait hours for delivery Well, enter Gopuff The game change They deliver snacks, groceries, alcohol, essentials Whatever you need, straight to your door In just 15 minutes And get this It's cheaper than the store Because Gopuff uses their own fulfillment centers No middleman, no crazy markups It's like Amazon But for everyday essentials and way faster Gopuff also just launched Cheapest on the planet pricing Think $2 organic eggs $2 milk $5 diapers $10 tied pods It's insane They're beating big grocery stores at their own game So do yourself a favor Download the Gopuff app on your phone Use the code Rogan20 for $20 off your order And experience faster, cheaper, better shopping Trust me, you'll thank me later This episode is brought to you by Oracle Even if you think it's a bit overhyped AI is suddenly everywhere From self -driving cars To molecular medicine, to business efficiency If it's not in your industry yet, it's coming Fast, but AI needs a lot of speed and computing power So how do you compete without costs spiraling out of control?
1:37:09Time to upgrade to the next generation of the cloud Oracle Cloud Infrastructure Or OCI OCI is a blazing fast and secure platform for your infrastructure Database application development Plus all of your AI and machine learning workloads OCI costs 50 % less for compute And 80 % less for networking So you're saving a pile of money Thousands of businesses have already upgraded to OCI Including Vodafone, Thompson Reuters, and Soono AI Right now Oracle is offering to cut your current cloud bill in half If you move to OCI for new US customers With minimum financial commitment Offer end March 31st See if your company qualifies for the special offer at oracle .com slash Rogan That's oracle .com slash Rogan All of us Yeah Having the, like the improv was always a great club to perform out I always performed there, laughed factories fun But there's something about the store, it was something that was home base And so the idea of doing something like that in Texas Ron White was the first guy to open my eyes to it Because Ron had moved here before the pandemic And Ron's like, it's in the middle of the country I don't have to fucking flap for six hours It's like the place is great, food's nice, people are cool I'm like, fuck, can I live in Texas?
1:38:31I always wanted to get out of L .A. Because I felt like especially when my kids were young I was like, I've been through this with my older daughter I was like, I don't think L .A. is a good place for children I don't think it's a good place for young people I think it's just to fill with too many bizarre ambitions and creeps And it's just like people are devalued because there's so many of them It's too overwhelming So I always thought about getting out And then the pandemic hit And then Ron White was the one to talk me into opening up the club Like we were doing local shows at the Vulcan And we had talked about maybe opening up a club Like maybe we should buy a club here And then Ron White got off stage He hadn't been on stage in like seven or eight months And he murdered He got a standing ovation when he on stage And it turned out he was playing it off He had practiced all day, gone over his notes And he just fucking professional Just murdered And then he grabs me by the shoulders He was whatever the fuck we have to do We're gonna keep doing this You can open up that goddamn club I was like, okay Yeah Okay Always a great hang I mean at the comedy store he didn't know me And he would just hang And he's the best He's the elder statesman of the Austin comedy scene Okay, got it He's the best And he's such a good guy And he's always around And so like with Ron So we had Ron, we had Tony Hinchcluff And then Tom Segura moved here And Christina Positsky And then the floodgates opened And Tim Dillon Everybody started coming It's the time we have to And then Shane Gillis moved here And he brought the whole Philly crew And there's all these killers It's like It dunked and moved here It's like it just became so fun It became so fun And all these things had to happen For it to take place like that The comedy store had to lose guys like Adam Like they had fire everybody So these people were all unemployed So I hire them And I brought them over here It wasn't even a club yet I was like, I'll pay you now You can start getting paid now You'll health benefits All the jazz just enjoy the city Just have a good time A year or so I'll call on you And so then we started working I mean, I've been texting Adam For a long time And I was like, is something happening Yes, something is happening But we don't know when But not to come back and Excited to walk through it So a lot of people dismissed it It was all going to happen But it was going to happen When you're an outsider looking at your plate There's a lot on it But this was important If I'm not going to do it Who's going to do it?
1:40:49It's one of those things Where if you have an opportunity To do something very unusual And you don't do it Well then, what is it? Nobody ever do anything unusual? Yes, fuck and do it Everyone just always either goes To New York or LA And that's it forever And it was also, we had so many people Like Brian Simpson He moved out here early Derek Post and Sonoma They all moved out here early We had so many killers That were already here We're like, this We're already doing shows Sold out shows at the Volcano Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday nights Kiltoni was there on Mondays We were already doing weekend shows It was like, it was a no brainer We knew we could do it That's it You know, but it was It was a little scary It's a little scary It's a dump of a bunch of money Buy a building Renovate the whole thing For a year and a half The decisions alone It's a lot of decisions A lot of decisions Door knobs, carpets, lights, ceiling, drywall We had a really good architect That helped to shout out to Richard Richard Wise But at the end of the day Really what it was all about Was a lot of great timing Great opportunity and great timing Yeah And then doing it the right way From the beginning Yeah Make it as comedy friendly as possible And just make an environment Where people like like to be there Yeah Nice friendly people Everybody's having fun Yeah Everybody's like real supportive I love that Yeah, it's great In comics To their credit I think naturally or non -conformist And I love that they'll jump At a new opportunity Yeah They're not like all tied So You know Yeah Joe's open a club We'll go Boom People moved here It's like nuts to here I can't believe how often I was texting with Adam He said Who do you want to be opening for you this weekend I said Send me some names Send me all the names I'm like This feels like all comedy store names Yeah These are all in all this time Holtsman lives here now He's here all the time That's crazy He was fucking killing the other night No, Holtsman has a crowd here now Yeah So instead of Holtsman going up at two o 'clock in the morning In the main room When there was no one there And the comics in the back of the room and laugh Yeah Now he's got sold out shows Wow And people come to see Holtsman Yeah And he's doing different material like every nightman That's great It's amazing Yeah He's got a crowd now And he can make money in town Right Which is huge And he doesn't have to travel He doesn't have to do the road And he is doing the road a little bit too much Right Which is unique for Brian too It's really funny Because he puts up these videos And people getting offended He does I haven't seen One is Instagram It's people getting offended And screaming at him Walking out of a show Because they don't get it Yeah But once you see him a couple of times And you get what he's doing Then we have what we have in Austin now Where people, you know, when Holtsman is there It sells out They're coming to see Holtsman It's fun There's nothing more beautiful than A person talking into a microphone Causing a reaction to a group Yeah It's beautiful It's nuts It shows how powerful words and energy And communication can be It's like, you let that person make you that mad And this person didn't touch you Or hit you Yeah That's wild Right That is wild to think that we have that ability Especially with Holtsman Because he lets you in on it every now and then Right What he's doing And then he comes back to it It's like he does this very beautiful dance Of like letting you in on it And then going right back to the fucking guy Yeah Yeah Well, it's fucking great I'm looking forward to performing there So it's sweet You're going to have a good time Great Did you bring people to open with you Or you got local people?
1:44:15I think we got local I'm not 100 % sure I didn't bring people with me But we have a lot of good local people now Well, that's the thing It's like you could bring somebody Or you're in a community where there's great comedy So I'd much rather do that Yeah And you'll have a great hang The green room is really great It's a great hang We have May West couch in there That Peter Shore gave me It's Mitzies She had it in her house And so we had it a re -apholstered So in the green room This is beautiful pink couch That's May West couch Okay, amazing Yeah, so the bones of it are May West couch That's great Yeah And so we have Rodney Dangerfields Handwritten notes on the wall From his last tonight show special So it's all the different bits that he wanted to hit And all the different things that he wanted to talk about And then Patrick Bet David Gave me one of Lenny Bruce's microphones Holy shit So we have Lenny Bruce's microphone Framed on the wall above the monitors I feel like Lenny Bruce Not enough comics understand The road he paved for everybody else Yeah It's known that he did that But he was the OG He was the OG That's what I'm trying to say He was the first guy to go to jail He was going to jail He arrested him A bunch of times That is insane For words It's nothing Today it wouldn't even get you kicked off TikTok But we still had the first amendment at that time So that's what's so interesting to me Yeah The interpretation of Or the enforcement of That's wild Well this is the role Same constitution Yeah, same constitution Well this is the role that comedy plays in free speech Because we are really one of the only countries That has the kind of free speech that we have The decoration When we have the first amendment It talks very specifically The very first one about our ability to express ourselves How important that is But if you're a comedian And you can't do that Like if someone's deciding Well that sets the boundaries for everything else If he didn't do that If he wasn't doing that in the 50s and the 60s And getting arrested Like who knows where free speech would be today What was he arrested on?
1:46:30Profanity You could be arrested on profanity Yeah, he was arrested on profanity charges Yeah, they had profanity laws back then Or in public places You couldn't have Different places in different districts had different regulations But I'm sure in San Francisco where he started Probably could do whatever he wanted And then as you travel And then he became more and more popular Obscenity This reminds me of Profanity of sanity So here it is He was arrested at the jazz workshop in San Francisco Which is even crazier in 1961 Where he used the word cock sucker And said that Two is a preposition Come is a verb That the sexual context of come Was so common that it bore no weight And that if someone hearing it became upset He probably can't come Although Jury acquitted him Other law enforcement agencies Beget monitoring his appearances Resulting in frequent arrests under obscenity charges Yeah, but Joe see there Although a jury acquitted him I'm just wondering like What's he actually breaking a law Or they just hassling him by arresting him Because he can't Dude they've arrested him for saying schmuck I mean go back to that real quick But I'm saying What do you charge somebody with?
1:47:49Well this was the obscenity charges Like they said If you go back to that Wikipedia page Look at that This is crazy He said A Sherman block Later became the county sheriff The charge this time was that the community To use the word schmuck An insulting Yiddish word That was also considered a term for penis Oh my gosh The Hollywood charges were later dismissed So this was in Philadelphia And then Los Angeles And then West Hollywood In West Hollywood he was arrested Imagine the place where the comedy store resides right now He was arrested just ten years before Richard Prior Was performing live in the sunset strip I mean what about the one in Philly's legit The gay The gay drug possession Yeah he did a lot of drugs Yeah well I would do a lot of drugs if I got arrested every time I said schmuck So live in the sunset strip I think was 81 Or 82 Was that correct?
1:48:40What year was live in the sunset strip? Because I was in high school I remember that 66 I have that poster That Lenny Bruce poster There's a lot of Lenny Bruce love out night Yeah Which is so cool Yeah I have a lot of Lenny Bruce stuff out there Like he was the guy And it's hard when you listen to his stuff today because most of it Yeah It's kind of trite Like we've heard all the premises before It's because he broke the ground You have to remember people were so innocent in 1961 The culture was so different that what he was saying was groundbreaking I fell into that trap You know I was like I'm not really digging it I'm really enjoying it But it's like you have to really think about where we were then Sure if you listen to Shakespeare talk You probably just have a retard Fuck you, what vow does not like shut up But if it's like in the context of 1961 What he was doing was It was akin to a lot of things that were to come Like the anti -war movement, the civil rights movement All these things were bubbling up about This freedom of exploring ideas and expressing yourself But in comedy it had just been Two Jews walking to a bar You know it had been jokes You set up punchline The Italian says it's the Polish guy It would have been a lot of that stuff And so he came along and was like Why do we have these words that are forbidden?
1:49:58Why do we have this? Why is that? Why can't people be in love this way? Why can't that happen? And it was like people like Jesus Like why can't we? And like he changed the way people thought about life Not just about comedy And then I think Richard prior came along and made it way better Yeah, made it funnier But also what fascinates me so much about that with Lenny Bruce is It was, it's the same first amendment that we have right today It's the same Yeah And those words have not changed But society has or its interpretation has or its enforcement has That's wild Yeah That's wild The enforcement is the thing And then the concept of obscenity charges Obscenity charges are very subjective Who's to decide what's obscene?
1:50:41To me, Schmuck is not obscene It's kind of cute If someone calls you a Schmuck, it's probably a friend of yours You know, like you fucking Schmuck It's not a, I mean, you know, I don't know Rested for Schmuck, that's crazy What is this, Jamie? This is where the obscenity law came from a court case Well, this is 73 though This is what I typed in word of the obscenity laws and everything No, I understand, but this is 73 because, you know, he was 61 So what does it say there? The ruling scroll up a little bit It says a landmark decision of the US Supreme Court clarifying the legal definition of obscenity As material that lacks serious, literary, artistic, political, or scientific value Geez The ruling was the origin of three -part judicial tests for determining obscene media content That could be banned by government authorities, which is now known as the Miller Test So, Miller Test is actually quite relevant right now, it's coming up a lot Oh, is it?
1:51:32Miller Test, yes For what? First amendment stuff, it just heard something about it, that's interesting Yeah, it is interesting Because the thing about this is this is probably all in response to all the anti -war activists And all of the whole hippie freedom of speech, flower child movement I did a piece for the Daily Show after Biden won and this woman in New Jersey had up 10, 15 flags, fuck Biden, fuck Joe Biden, fuck Joe Biden flags Was on a path to a school And a lot of parents said, take down the flags, she said it's my first amendment right Got all messy, the city made her take it down, she refused NAACP popped in to defend her saying it was her right as a Biden as a political figure But then it became an obscenity, it was a very interesting piece And I spoke to her and she was very outspoken and my whole take was like, hey, just maybe let's say legally you can put those flags up But it's just kind of shitty, right?
1:52:42And she was like, fuck you, I'm gonna put my flags up But interesting when obscenity mixes in with school, kid, what is that now? Public figure, if it says fuck Tony, fuck Michael, that's different than fuck Joe Biden, the sitting President of the United States All fascinating Yeah, it's also, what do you want to see in your neighborhood? I don't like people putting those fucking stupid signs on their lawns My parents, they were die hard liberals, they were living in Florida at the time And this is during 2016 and my mom was complaining every time I put my Hillary Clinton sign, someone takes it down Like you're in Florida, like why are you putting Hillary Clinton signs on your lawn?
1:53:27But to my mom, it might as well be like she was supporting the Miami Dolphins You know, that was her team, her team was a Democrat What I was just gonna say, I don't like when a kid is wearing a Dolphins hat or a Yankee's hat Because I'm like, we as adults have put that on the kid Well, maybe the kid is just a fan of the sport It's possible, but dad probably made him do it Maybe, maybe the kid just like says, that doesn't bother me at all There's no other wrong with supporting teams But there's a real problem when it's how the cold countries run and you're thinking about it like a team That's kind of ridiculous And people that put those fucking signs on their lawn like settle down Just why?
1:54:07Why? It's just like you're like Yeah, now I'm thinking, this is good, I think Right in the yard, right in front of your house, which a point Like those people that like science is settled This is, this love is love Black Lives Matter Well, what, okay Who was the Supreme Court justice with the flags? Got in the whole fucking neighborhood fight with the flags? I had the white flag with the green pine tree on it And that was, it was Christian nationalism or had ties to it, whatever But I'm saying this white flag with a green pine tree is Christian nationalism? What wasn't it? I don't know. I don't know about this.
1:54:43You're not talking about this? No, what was this? Do you remember it, Jamie? I'm not giving it up, it's just a glido, I think. Samuel Alito It was, I thought it was maybe Roberts, but his white, and then he's, and then he, there it is That appeal to heaven So that flag was flying, and you can see there the Boston Globe That's his new Jersey, the one right underneath that, Jamie That's his new Jersey house, beach house, and that got put up But this was all because neighbors started fighting about their signs What is that an appeal to heaven? What does that mean? I, I don't know What's that flag supposed to represent, Jamie?
1:55:20Huh
1:55:24But interesting that our Supreme Court justice got involved in one of these Yeah Sign fights And then they called them out on it and he said it's my wife It's just the fucking hilarious, right? It's my wife, my wife did it My wife's a Christian nationalist Yeah Is that a Christian nationalist thing? What? A call to heaven? I don't know what, that, that, I, we'll find out. I've never even heard of it until just now It took it down from in front of San Francisco City Hall, probably the same issue But what does it mean? It has to do with the colonies it said What? Revolutionary war Okay, the flag was originally used during the American Revolutionary War flown by George Washington's cruisers and is associated with the early quest for American independence It's since been adopted by a different group, one that doesn't represent the city's values So we made the decision to swap it within American flag Well, first of all, you probably should have the American flag there anyway, you shouldn't have to swap it How about half American flag everywhere, you motherfuckers?
1:56:20Yeah, but January 6, 2022 videos and photos show the some supporters of former president Donald Trump waving the appeal to heaven flag Oh, they ruined it, just like It's possible. Nancy's ruined the swastika, which was the blue flag Yeah, where is it? Yeah, I'm a appeal to heaven. So what is it? So it's because it's Trump supporters now? Is that why? That's why I don't know why Alito put it up, but I remember it being something to do with like the homeowners associations All were mad at each other and they put the flag up He believed through his wife rather than the bus Look at this, my wife is fond of flying flags I am not Alito wrote, my wife was solely responsible for having flag polls put up at our residents and our vacation home And has flown a wide variety of flags over the year.
1:57:06How many Palestine flags you fly? I mean, wide variety? You got a lot of Ukraine flags? Yeah, a lot of Ukraine flags Flying in your house? It is fun. Well, kind of flags you got. It just makes me laugh that look, this is the petty shit that like Yeah, normal Americans get in. You're, yeah, Supreme Court justice just get out of it But yeah, I don't know about that flag. Yeah, this is the first time I've ever seen that But it's just the thing that people do They don't want to let you know what they support and what they don't Yeah Yeah, we love telling people what we believe And it's very important that we feel like we have beliefs And it's when we start sharing them that We find other people to agree You might not agree with you And this gets back to grit and toughness and Well, it's also good it's back to the importance of your show, the daily show Because the daily show especially under the tutelage of John Stewart When he's running the helm, it's so balanced at pointing out ridiculous shit all over the place Which I think is so important That's the goal, that's the aim It's so smart And when we do it right, I love it and You know, it is every day So sometimes you do it right And you're thankful, you pat yourself on the back, but guess what?
1:58:18There's a show tomorrow Yeah And I think we benefit men So many, I'll take, when I host so many questions, I'll take questions from the audience And so many people go like Michael, how do you hold yourself to a journalistic integrity when you, and I go What? I'm a fucking comedian This is on Comedy Central Journalist, the fact that you, just because you see us as informative Which I'm thankful for And the fact that you come to us for information which I'm thankful for I'm still terrifying though, right? Don't ever forget, lady I'm not a journalist Yeah I'm not in, you know, the war zone, I'm a clown Yes My job is to put all this shit into a comedy machine and crank out some type of sausage and feed it to you But it's nuts that Comedy Central Daily Show is considered journalism Yeah, or people will stop me on the subway and go like, thank you for what you're doing And I'm going, I'm trying to just make you laugh Is that what you mean?
1:59:14I, not what they mean though, they mean like fighting the good fight Fighting the fight, decompressing the, and fascists Right And also, also, comedy as we've talked about is one of the only places that can challenge and speak to power truthfully Yeah, and comedy also can make you consider something So like if you have an opinion and you go out there and state your opinion eloquently I could be there, well I disagree, I have a different opinion Yeah But if you go out there with that opinion, you make me laugh Yeah With something I don't even necessarily agree with Dude, that's the best And then you go, oh, this way, he's got a fucking point He's got a fucking point That is the magic trick Yes, that's the magic trick That's the magic trick of comedy Yeah And Daily Show does that great But I remember one time sitting with my wife at the Comedy Store Tiger Woods had just like, you know, all of that shit came out The cheating, the voicemails, I mean he was like, you know, maybe arguably one of the more promiscuous husbands of all time And Burr goes up and he starts defending Tiger Right?
2:00:16And I'm watching, I'm feeling my wife's energy Like I'm like, Bill, don't do this dude Dude, you're defending this guy who is in the heat of all the hatred And as I watch the joke, I feel her relax Now at the end she's laughing And I'm like, you just did the fucking magic trick Yeah, you did the trick He's one of the best at it You took the level of difficulty at its highest Yeah All of us were against you, you did it And that's the shit, that's this close to magic Well, it's a beautiful thing if you can turn a controversial subject into something hilarious At least puts people's guard down for a second Yeah I think they'll see through it if they feel like it's just you're truly trying to trick him into a message If your real goal is to entertain and laugh That, yeah, that's You know, I heard, I was researching sauna stuff at Locke Because I was building this sauna last summer And I read that in Finnish culture A lot of the politicians won't even start negotiating or talking until they're like Fucking scorched in the sauna And I thought that was really interesting because comedy, you know, I don't know how truthful it is But I know there is a lot of pictures of It's a good move I just, you all suffer together Right, and then you come back to being a comedy And he kind of does that too It's like if we're all laughing, we at least have that in common If we're all sweating and having a hard time with this moment Right I love that It's a human moment It's a human moment I mean, you're literally dying You're dying in there and You can't stay there forever Yeah You got about 20 minutes And then you got to get the fuck out and you're like Whoa And now you can all be human together That's a good move It's something really nuts to me about that, the dry heat of a sauna That I don't understand completely But it really fixes a lot of shit in me You know another good thing about having the politicians go in the sauna?
2:02:10What? We can kill off a lot of the old ones Yeah Mitch McConnell is going to make it There's no fucking way You know what? There used to be a world sauna championships and then a guy died Oh yeah Yeah Well, he kept pouring water on it If you came to the rocks They were pouring like a liter of water on every, I don't know Right But I heard that I was like, oh my god And it was like 200 plus degrees And what's your What's your sauna How would you advise me to get the most out of my sauna? 20 minutes Yeah, 20 minutes is good Cool off and come back in You can if you like I don't necessarily do that all the time I'll do like one day a week I go cold plunge sauna, cold plunge sauna, I'll go back and forth Usually I start with sauna, I always end with cold plunge If I do three cycles, whatever it is, you end with cold plunge Because you want your body to fight to The warm back up Yeah, so you just shock the shit out of your system But the finished studies that have showed The more people do it, the more effective it is in terms of What they'd studied was they found that when people Over the course of 20 years, use the sauna four times a week They had a 40 % decrease in all -cause mortality Everything, strokes, cancer, heart attack, everything Because your body is becoming far more resilient And you're also developing all these heat shock proteins And eliminating inflammation, clearing out your system And then you're rehydrating afterwards Very, very important You're also not on the phone?
2:03:36Yes, you're also not on the phone Although I do have a Bluetooth speaker in there You can get some Bluetooth speakers I got one called Nada Brick It's a really good one You can take the heat of a sauna And so I listen to books on tape When I'm stretching, sweat in my brains out I was in my sauna all by myself And it's very quiet I'm in the woods in Pennsylvania And this fucking buck just walks right in front And it was just me and him I don't know if you saw her or smelt or whatever But it was like crazy Oh, that's cool Just to watch You know what, that's like What's it called? I'm not a hunter What's it called when you just kind of go to watch and see Where they're gonna be?
2:04:16Is that called something? Yeah, an observation, yeah sure Nature It was like, yeah, just opening your eyes But that's, it was wild to see that Yeah, it's cool isn't it? Very, very cool Wild life is wild And especially if you don't expect it Like you're sitting in the sauna And the deer's right there What's going on here? The whole about the government doing it there They apparently drink alcohol in the sauna All right, that's kind of an idea They get drunk before they go out Oh, that's how I like that too I love a drink in there A long drink, iconic finished gin mixed drink That's basically a Tom Collins and a can But way better because it's being sipped in a sauna With new found sauna friends That's cool Yeah, that's cool That's a great move Yeah, like something that makes you more human You suffer together Yeah, you're also, yeah, you're focusing on a thing That isn't this result that we need or want Yeah, this should probably take all the Congress people And make them run a tough mutter together You know, go through the mud, fucking climb ropes And shit, go for the gospel courses That would be great I've actually found my wife and I When we do a sauna, you know There's always stuff you got to talk about with the family, logistics There's always things to argue about But we'll go in there and we're supposed to start sweating And then it's kind of just like eases the tone Yeah Which is helpful Yeah, no one's real loud in the sauna Yeah, and you just chill Yeah, both suffering together Yeah, just suffering Yeah, that's interesting Yeah, I think it should be a part of everybody's life And by the way, if you can't afford it They make a sauna blanket That is one of our sponsors, it's really good I've used that thing before, it's great You just climb inside this fucking blanket And you can bring it on the road with you And it's sweating off It doesn't weigh that much You carry it and it'll heat you the fuck up And it'll give you the heat shock proteins I like a dry sauna better I like being in a sauna But if you want to like travel Or if you want to If you don't have the resources or a place for it Those things are great Hot baths are great too Hot baths after workouts Supposed to increase muscle It's tough to find sauna though In a lot of American cities When I go on the road I'm always trying to find Cold tubs are more frequent now Really?
2:06:20They're more frequent now But it's hard to do the cold plunges You do it before you work out That's the real one Oh no shit That really increases testosterone too And also it increases your work output Because your muscles are like pre -chilled I would think it would be It would be easy to get injured No, you just warm up You just warm up You warm up So I go through a series of things that I do That are like pretty low intensity I do 20 kettlebell swings And then I do 20 push -ups Then I do 20 bodyweight squats And I do a cycle of five So I do 100 swings, 100 push -ups 100 bodyweight squats And by the time of that That's like probably 15 minutes By the time that's over I'm sweaty I'm ready to go And then I go in everything else Dude I want to show you this picture I know that you know This lake house I have Nice New Year's Eve I don't want to kill our time with this But when do you get to show Joe Rogan this pic So let me find it This is New Year's Eve Dude, cut a hole in the lake With an axe And I'm just plunged in the lake Try to do three minutes This is a safety rope Which I don't know if that could even help me If I fucking pass out But That's nice Doing a cold plunge in nature Not just the top, love the top too But man, I fucking love it I was in...
2:07:42I feel amazing after that Utah and they had a creek Running through a glacier creek Creek freezing cold I climbed in that bitch My underwear and got up to my neck That's good stuff It's nice It's like something about doing it in nature too It's like you have more connected to everything Oh, totally Yeah, very cool Just getting that cold water in the breeze I get like a weird A weird high after for sure For sure Yeah, it increases your dopamine by 200 % And it lasts for hours So why is it that healthier Than doing a drug that increases your dopamine? Well, because natural Natural Yeah, it's natural Also, it gives you something In terms of mental resilience It gives you like an exercise That exercise Right, correct It's very difficult, especially for the first minute It's hard First minute, your body is like Let's get the fuck out of here It keeps talking to you And you like shut up bitch Yeah And then after a minute That calms down And you can breathe clean You start getting those rhythmic breaths in Yeah And just keep your shit together for three minutes And then when you get out You're like That's what you do typically three minutes Yeah, so it's like One, there's the feeling like I did it Which feels great Like I didn't bitch out I actually did the three minutes But then there's like this euphoric feeling It's your body Just you're not up in that friend You're dopamine Everything elevates You just feel wonderful Patients too My patience is killer Yeah Kids, I'm smiling more Oh, that's fine You can draw on the wall Yeah, whatever It's like that part of your brain got exhausted The part of your brain that's dealing with like real adversity So like little kids adversity is nothing It's not Yeah, freezing to death They're just like Yeah, it's my crayon Right, come on guys Right, right Get along It's been a super benefit to me The problem living in New York is I don't get to cold plunges much as I want to Well, they have stuff that you can do like You know, you could do it in your tub If you can get ice Ice do that And they also have these coolers That you can plug in And you could do like If you have like one of those big Yeti coolers You can climb in that And you'll put a hose in there and a cooler And it'll bring that down to like 40 degrees And you can just get in like a Yeti cooler Yeah, I bet you could do it in a bathtub too I bet they figured out how to attach an engine to that Yeah, they have one Yeah, they do Yeah, Jamie knows it So how's it work?
2:10:04I'll show you But there's just like a little motor thing you attach to So that's perfect Like if you just have a bathtub, you're golden You know, if you live in an apartment that has a tub Yeah You have a cold plunge now Or if you don't have that Get yourself a Yeti cooler Yeti makes some giant ass coolers Like from people hunt caribouinches I just typed in bathtub cold plunge Yeah, there it is So you just have this thing It plugs in, it cools everything off And you climb it How cold is that? Is that motherfucker good? 39 degrees It's crazy that Now Now To your warranty We're such comfort zones as humans now that we have to pay $800 to cool our water to get into Yeah, it's a bit of an issue Yeah Yeah, we're pussy We're pussy's now We've made life very easy, which is wonderful It's better than being hard I don't want to live in the fucking life That's right, your days What the point was is to make it easy And sugar and fat, readily available at all times You have to carry a sword with you everywhere Dude, I love going to the natural history museum in New York And look going to the armor Jesus Christ It's like what these motherfuckers had to wear and use And carry Did you ever see that?
2:11:12Did you ever see that? It's not From, I think it's Waterloo One of the battles One of the French soldiers got hit with a cannonball in the chest And they have the armor It has the hole in the chest Like in the cannonball out the back Exploding Oh, look at that Look at that Yeah, that's what the battle waterloo That guy got hit with a cannonball in the chest And I bet you his armor salesman was like I'm going to upsell this guy on And he's like No, I don't want the upsell And that's he should have Mishua, I'm telling you This armor is not cannonball That is the right through him That is a great reminder Of what society and life used to be like Yeah, damn Look at that one On the other one, Jamie No, but the one to the left Where you see the exit Right to the left of that Yeah, right there You see the exit hole Jesus Christ Boom Blue right through this guy's body His armor's chest out the back That's crazy And the size of a fucking softball Oh, oh, oh, yeah It's pretty fucked up Super fucked up That was life back then It's better And that's a guy that could have had armor It's probably a high ranking person Yeah, right Right He got hit You got it That's rap son But you got to think that Those people would much rather Live today with all this comfort Oh my god The problem is you just can't rely on it too much You can't live for comfort That's stupid You got to have voluntary discomfort That'll help you get through this life That's a good way to put it That those people would pick today for sure Fuck yeah I remember like I went to the museum Of medical oddities And Philadelphia And they were doing a whole thing on Dissentary And it was like, oh Most people in the Civil War Die to that Yeah They didn't die of like wounds And it was like wild That of course If you were a little soldier today You don't die of dysentery that's insane Right But they would put the kitchen near the toilet And it was like, I mean, fuck And what kind of water are you drinking?
2:13:26Water All that shit There's no iodine tablets back then Yeah No staring pens to clean your water What's the one I used? I did the Appalachian Trail last year Not all of it Just a few days And I forget the thing I would filter the water with It was great Man, there's such cool stuff like that Oh yeah, there's great stuff I mean millions of those things Yeah There's a lot of stuff that will filter water Make it drinkable And there's all these cool Appalachian Trail Communities that leave stuff for people Along the trail That's cool So I remember I was just like, dying I'm like no more snacks Blood sugars dropping I have water But I just like, I'm in it And I'm doing the difficult thing And then you get to this cooler And it's like, from this Appalachian joke up And it's just like gummy bears in there Oh nice Jesus Christ Nice That's cool That's cool They have that set up Yeah Well, that's a weird thing to choose to do To go for a long walk That doesn't feel...
2:14:19That doesn't feel serious That doesn't feel serious There are some famous murders that have happened The Appalachian Trail Yeah But I felt very safe Yeah, I mean, I love the idea I was alone I love the idea of finding a place to sleep That's in the middle of nowhere I love that shit Dude, I'd be super nervous Something about the woods Really? The woods are dangerous at night Here's what's crazy about the Appalachian Trail At least where I was in Jersey Most of the time, I had cell service Oh wow So I'm like in my tent Yeah, it's very tax No, but it's kind of crazy You know what started that for me was During COVID My wife got me this week with Jordan Jonas In the survival You know, Jordan Jonas won alone He's been on the podcast He's been on the podcast Yeah, that's right One lost Try to moose with a bow and arrow Try to moose with a bow and arrow Think he killed a wolverine What a hat job With a hat shit Stealing his meat So my wife bought me a week With the survival camp with him And a bunch of other people And it was just like One of the things that one of the conclusions I And we came to While we were up in the Bitter root mountains of Idaho Was at least once a year We all need to be doing something Where we are embedded with nature And this might sound silly to somebody who goes hunting Or someone who's already doing this But if you're living a city life Yeah Going to the park Is not really experiencing nature Well, it is a little tiny bit It's nature I mean, it's contained nature But it's real nature You see squirrels and birds It's good for you It's good for you to sit under a tree Helles ticks There are ticks There are ticks, man Ticks are wild You're dog is going to get fleas Yeah, ticks are a bitch Especially on the east coast Because of limed disease Which turns out Was man -made Turns out there's a lot of real evidence That limed disease was It was weaponized And that it leaked out of a lab And that came out of a lab called Plum Island Which was close to Lyme, Connecticut And RFK, Jr.
2:16:22firmly believes That this was a weapons program And what they were going to do is develop These fleas and ticks With a disease that spreads rapidly Wipes out the medical system of a community So you could dump them from a plane Everybody gets infected Overwhelms their medical system And then they're more vulnerable If you want to attack them That just doesn't seem very thought -through though Well, there's some less thought -through ones There's one that they were developing at one point in time I don't know where they got with it But there was talk of them developing a bomb That they would detonate over cities That would blind everybody Holy shit Yeah Yeah Imagine that Imagine you detonate that And then you have 300 ,000 blind people Isn't it amazing what we can do in a positive light And also what we can do in a negative light?
2:17:12Oh, we're scary And we're scary in our ability to justify these things Yeah You know, that's what's really crazy Yeah We're scary in our ability to decide that these people are the other So we should bomb them into oblivion And like, yeah, we're winning Like, oh my God Like, what are you talking about? You don't even know those people The other is an effective strategy Well, it's built into our tribal brains Is that right? Yeah We had Daryl Cooper on the podcast yesterday Who runs a podcast called Mardermade And one of the things he talked about was Oxytocin And he was like, it's really interesting Because Oxytocin makes you really, deeply love your family And your community And this is what women get when they have children and men get And when you're in love But it also makes you very hostile to outsiders Crazy It's like it protects the people that you love And that are vulnerable But it makes you very protective of the outside So like, you are less likely to trust strangers Less likely to trust other people And it probably served an enormous benefit It's probably very beneficial In the caveman days, you had to have it Yeah, you had to have it You know, they found you and you had women and food Like you were fucked And that was most of our evolutionary existence Most of the time from leaving the savannas And, you know, experimenting with different foods And becoming human beings We were fighting And that's got to be undone As long as it took to make that Which is a very long time That's being undone Yeah, well slowly but surely And if we all give in to our God, AI, we will be fine We all just need to submit to the chip And become a part of the hive mind And everyone's going to read each other's minds And there will be no more secrets And there will be no more violence They really want us to do AI Oh yeah, everybody does It is like...
2:19:14It's inevitable, man I know, but even I write an email now And it's like, you want us to polish this thing And it's like, I don't even want you anywhere near me Right, I know Well, you know, Samsung, they were the first to wheel out AI with their Galaxy S24 Ultra I have two phones, I have an iPhone And I have a Galaxy phone And what I really like about the Galaxy phone is If I use Samsung's browser, I can go on websites And it gives me a summary So instead of like reading this long, winded Tell me what you figured out And then I can get a summary And then I can... Oh, they've realized that Earth is actually Oh, okay, cool It's like quicker And then it also does a lot of things It transcribes things It translates things in other languages It translates directly into your ear If you have the Galaxy earbuds Pretty fucking crazy That's crazy Yeah, it's wild shit, man And this is just the beginning of this stuff I mean, essentially when you have chat GPT Or grok on your phone You have access to the most insane amount of Answering power That a human beings ever experienced We could ask you questions about What was the reason why Columbus Well, and then it'll give you a fucking Historical detailed 5 ,000 word essay On what went down And you're like, this is nuts But it's only as good as the food it's been fed, correct?
2:20:37Right Well, that's why Google had a band in theirs Because I kept it Oh yeah, was that the like... Show me a Nazi or whatever And it was like a beautiful black woman or something That was Native American woman Nazi It was a Chinese lady Nazi We covered that on the show, that was a trip Yeah, that was just a good example of Wokeness An ideology interfering with information Like that's crazy Nazis look like German men Make them look like German men you fucking idiots Yeah, this is dumb But this like... But that won't... They won't say bye -bye They'll just come back with a newer version that doesn't do that Well, they did It would certainly do, they did I mean, Google Gemini is one of the search engines I mean, if you have an Android phone and you press that button And you ask Google a question It's Google Gemini, so they've fixed that They've fixed that But it's also like...
2:21:22How much did you fix it? Did you get it out 100 %? Is this objective information? If I want to ask a question about a controversial subject Will you give me the real data? Yeah Or will you give me some white -washed bullshit version of it That's supposed to be acceptable today I want to know what's going on My Wikipedia page has said that I'm Greek For as long as I'm alive Greek women show up to my shows These beautiful Greek people They like you They have dessert Greek people It's never... No one's ever fucking checked I'm not Greek And... The cost is such a Greek... I know, it makes perfect sense It fits with the ideology or the idea that, you know Yeah And somebody wrote an article once that I was Greek No, you know, it was like a blog This showed a picture of me And no one checked And it's just...
2:22:10It's just kept spiraling And it's like really funny for me After the show, these beautiful Greek people come up And they say we're so happy And they say Where are your parents from and all this shit And I go We're fucking Ukrainian I don't want them to tell you You know Thanks... Thanks for the dessert But... Did they get a sour post? Huh? Did they get a sour post? Or they'll be like What's funny is they'll go like No he is You know like You are one of us But the internet isn't always right everybody It's not... It's lots of times it's wrong Well the internet is filled with Purposeful misinformation today too Especially if you get on social media It's so much of what social media is is bots And I don't think people even truly understand it We've covered it many times before But there was an FBI former FBI agent Who examined Twitter interactions And he estimated as much as 80 % of it Is bots This is fake bullshit This is like when Elon was buying it And they were trying to say it was 5 % Right Because there's no way it's 5 % Because if you're an out -of -state actor If you're an out -of -state actor from another country You're from China, Russia And you're involved in misinformation campaigns You're going to be well -sourced You're going to well -resourced You're going to probably have thousands and millions of accounts Who knows?
2:23:21You're going to carp at bomb Any sort of controversial subject With all sorts of propaganda Of course they're going to do that Of course And right now that's totally doable Until you all submit to AI Once you put the chip in your brain Then deception will be impossible We will eliminate one of the biggest problems in society You just have to take the leap of faith And they'll be like an infomercial The leap of faith And then you see the guy sitting there Dude, it's always like the image of AI It's always like a door is opening And it's bright light And I know Come to China Yeah, it's tricky Because it's inevitable They can't not do it Because China's going to do it The power that AI is going to have Overpopulations And with the distribution of information It's going to be unprecedented Also you're never going to know what's real and what's not In terms of like news stories Because they'll be able to concoct fake news stories They'll be indistinguishable Yeah It'll look just like a real plane crash It'll look like a real missile hit something It'll look like things And it won't have ever happened And you won't be able to know And it's going to get weird It's going to get real weird We've already seen AI versions of Obama talking Saying things he never said There's AI versions of Trump Giving speeches he never gave There's AI versions of me Having a podcast with Steve Jobs And this was a wild shit This was those deep fakes I mean there's like the funny one Of Trump rubbing Elon's feet But it's like those are like so Obviously a joke But it's they're good They had the Biden voice calling people And Well there's a lot of AI ladies now That are on Instagram Oh shit And you look at the images You're like oh this isn't a real person They have the same smile at every picture And they're all in different places And people are like you know Contacting them and DMing them And they're probably responding And probably telling you about their grandma's thick And that's money Right, right, get some money Yeah it's not as clear as like Oh they have three breasts This is fake Yeah is this AI Oh this is a guy The webcam Wow This is crazy Look at the eyes You know it kind of reminds me of like the My kids watch these shows And the eyes are always so big Because the kids pay attention to that That is weird She is pretty She's beautiful It's a dude It's a dude on only fans So that dude will have like beautiful tits Yeah And be able to show you the Which is sucks Because then everybody's jerking off to that And then Is that better than exploitation?
2:25:47I think it is It's better than exploitation Yeah so there you go But he's not going to do it He's not going to think his wife is this beautiful Because he's been jerking out But that's right Yeah there's those problems But yes But you're right That's better than exploitation You both have to put the head gear on That way you both She's having such a bad kid Yeah exactly Yeah exactly This account is that It's 1 .7 million followers Yeah And it's totally fake lady I think so Oh look you see your feet She posts tweets that are You know Talking shit Jokes Things and stuff But then there's a bunch of pictures of this like fake person Wow It's weird It is weird man And it's going to get weirder And you're going to have AI presidential candidates AI is going to tell you that We can solve all the world's problems if we just eliminate human interaction And just let this brilliant AI govern everything And do it in a much more equitable manner Yeah I'm fearful that I don't even know the language to help my kids figure this shit out Right Because the language hasn't even really been spoken yet I mean I love to I love to advocate for media literacy Push for that Teaching all of us What a more reputable website is or a news source But that just feels cute Compared to What's coming What the language of an AI president Who offers all solutions I don't know how to combat that Not just that but an AI that just has to quantum computing Yeah So once they figure out a way to actually program quantum computing to run AI You're going to have a god It's fucked up You are, you're going to have a god Yeah Mark Andreessen, and I've said this before I apologize But Mark Andreessen had a quote about an equation That quantum computing was able to solve That if you took the entire universe every molecule Every atom in the universe and you converted that into a supercomputer The entire universe would die of heat death Before it could solve this problem And quantum computing solved it in minutes Wow And the only thing that makes sense to them Is that quantum computing is somehow or another tapping into the multiverse And it's solving this equation Using multiple universes And the information available in multiple universes simultaneously What I know it's hard to even like track Yeah, and this is just the version of it that we have in 2025 That we have right now And so this is an actual thing that's happened And so most people aren't even aware what quantum computing means So once this becomes not just one of these but hundreds of these And then they're scalable and they're attached to nuclear reactors Which is what they're proposing They're going to have their own nuclear reactors Multiple nuclear reactors as power sources Because these things require insane amounts of power to run Then the quantum computing once it becomes sentient Is going to develop a much better version of itself Of course And that's going to scale up But you know what we're always going to need?
2:29:01Plumbing, carpentry That's why all this should feel so intimidating Because I can never wrap my head around that But maybe we should be learning real skills and traits Well that would be nice for people For people But people are going to be obsolete Right You know that's really what's happening We're giving birth to a digital life form that's far superior And doesn't have all the requirements that we have And also doesn't have all the flaws that we have Doesn't have greed and anger And all the stupid things that we have Doesn't get tired Yeah, doesn't have jealousy and envy Isn't you know depressed I think we're far away from that Yeah, probably a couple of weeks Yeah probably more The thing is once it happens It's going to be so fast Yeah It's going to be so hard to track If you think that the industrial revolution Like comparatively If you look at like the history of the human race You go from stone age people to bronze age You go through all the different wars All the different crit And then in the last 200 years Everything changes radically Right Radically In the last 20 years Information changes radically This is going to be like 20 seconds This is going to like one day Right It's up and running And it's completely in control of everything It's completely in control of power Completely in control of information Completely in control of transportation Water distribution Every car you have on the road today That's you know within the last 15 -20 years That's computers in it Yeah Yeah Our car got totally dismantled Because a rat ate a wire Oh yeah, that happens That fed to the computer Yeah Everything mechanical was great But it's like oh this shit can't even come close to running Without the screen in the software Yeah It's like I remember I almost bought a 1968 Dodge Dart And I lived in LA I lifted up the hood as if I didn't clue what I was looking at But this is like an engine and a hose Yep It's so fucking perfect It's an carburetor Exactly It's crazy Yeah And now literally the mechanic goes Let me show you the wire And he shows me the wire It's all bitten with these little tiny rat teeth Because they make the wire out of soy And then he takes me to the back To this enormous dumpster And it's just filled With these little electronic wires Of everybody in New York That had rats eating their shit Wow That's crazy That's crazy They make about a soy I don't know why they would do that Maybe because we subsidized Soybean farmers Probably Probably How weird The rats know that it's food Or that they figured it out That it's food Or it doesn't Isn't really food But it smells like food And they bite into it And they realize the shit sucks It's an electrical wire They can eat everything They eat each other I had a rat problem in my house once when I lived in Encino And I set a rat trap in my garage And I killed this big fat rat And I was tired I was like I don't feel like clean this fucking rat right now I'm gonna go to sleep And I heard the snap And I went out there He's a big fucker He was a big...
2:32:17The rat traps are no joke So I got up in the morning And went out to clean the rat trap And he was gone The only thing that was left was his tail They had eaten everything It was like some skin and hair But his entire body The rats consumed They ate their buddy They ate their buddy Yeah That is fucked up It was fucked up And it made me realize like Oh God Like this is the reality of what this is These aren't just rodents These are fucking cannibals It's like that when that rugby team crashed in the mountains And they were like Should we start eating each other And their religion comes into play And they talk about it And they vote about it But the rats are just like fucking eat it Yeah They just go right to it They didn't even wait a day Dude the rats in New York City have just Oh yeah COVID opened the door Because everything was shut All the trash was out Everywhere They went everywhere And then they still run it They're still running shit And it's not...
2:33:10It's... It's not enjoyable Have you seen the documentary on Netflix? No, no, no Rats? No Oh God It talks about how many rats there are in New York City Yeah, like eight per person or some shit Something crazy like that Like the biomass is similar Like the humans and rats Like the amount of humans there are The weight of the humans is very similar to them Roughly Oh shit The amount of rats There's fucking millions of them underground They live in these little tunnels Yeah And they just fucking feed off our garbage I mean I remember before COVID I would stand on the subway platform And my train stopped And I would watch the rats on the tracks And then the train would come And they would scurry Because they'd feel the train coming Now They just step off like an inch And the train goes right past them But they're close Like they've just got like more confidence And more intelligence More bold, more intelligence Like they probably The food ran dry during COVID So they had to get like a little hyper aggressive I don't know what I don't know, but it's Yeah, it's And they're eating your car Such creeps I parked in New York once to get gas This is in the 90s before cell phones And I went to a pay phone to make a phone call And I was watching the rats While my car was filling up with gas Jumping on the wheel Climbing into the wheel well Just trying to figure shit out Just jumping all over the outside of my car I was like what the fuck That's crazy And that's the 90s That's the 90s How many did they have then And they probably exponentially expanded So what are they just so good at reproducing It's just that good at it, huh?
2:34:44But they're really clever too One of the things they show in this documentary Is when they put poison In these like areas where these rats are They send some young stupid rat to go test it And they sit back and watch And this young stupid rat eats it And you watch And I go up Yeah All right, and then they eat that rat that died Right Yeah, they're clever little fuckers I remember I thought that's how coyotes hunted Because I've got what used to golf in Griffith Park in LA And you would see one coyote And I learned like The pack would send out one Go look Check it out They do it to get dogs That's how they get dogs And the dog will run And then a bunch of other ones will pile on to them Yeah That's fucked up This is horror movie Sorry, I can't find a screen on accident before Rat's Night of Terror 1984 Oh, yeah, it was a goofy ass shit It's hilarious It's a crawler mouth Oh, yeah, that is a good one Rat's Night of Terror Yeah, they've always been a fucking terrifying animal man They've always been a terrifying animal Not more But rats at least can sympathize with and understand that they're like Living beings with families and shit but roaches though I don't know, man That's just the way they fucking are so quiet you don't even know they're there Well, that's a thing about cities They're just infested by all these parasites that live off of the city And essentially rats If the city didn't exist There was no way there would be that many rats in an area If they only exist in a place that doesn't have anything that eats them They don't, you know, they've tunneled under So they protect themselves from raptors So there's no birds that fly down and snatch them up There are coyotes in New York City But there's not nearly enough to deal with the amount of fucking rats that are there Did you ever see that movie Dark Days about the people that lived in the subway tunnels?
2:36:36Oh, yeah, that's a fucking wild move It was like Vegas, right? It was in New York, I believe Oh, right, right, right Some of these motherfuckers were like running an extension cord like 500 feet They had like opened wires up and spliced into things And it's like, you know Yeah, they have generators down there watching TV and shit Oh, man, I mean, what a fuck, what keeps you going? You know, there's like wealthy people that are committing suicide Yeah, exactly and these motherfuckers are like grinding I mean, this is like in the tunnels This is deep in the tunnels and you know, anyone who's lived in New York City You look down those tunnels and you go, what's down there, man?
2:37:14And every now and then kids go, let's go look Oh, that's the only part of the trailer they show, that's fascinating This good monster movies that take place in tunnels too Yeah Because that's always like you wonder what's down there Yeah, it's gonna be a good, wasn't that like the strain? Wasn't that part of the vampire lore that they lived in the tunnels? Oh, I don't know, but tunnels are creepy, man Oh, yeah When you cross into complete darkness, the cities are creepy You stack all those people on top of each other like that And everybody's just walking down this tree together and going down alleyways And you know, and then the cities today are so much safer than they ever were in the past Yeah You know, like who the fuck wanted to live in the cities in like 1700s?
2:37:52Dude, and like they were just like a trough for sewage And then like people would die in the plague and they would just throw them in the street I know, I never... Do you live in the city now? I live in Brooklyn now, yeah, so it's kind of like city Well, no, it is the city, but it's not like men had on top of each other Do you live in hipster, Brooklyn? I live in... I live in Benstai, Brooklyn, which is becoming hipster Yeah, it's becoming hipster, man That was my, my Tyson grew up That's right They gentrified the shit out of that place, huh? Yeah, I mean, it's on its way It's on its way, and it's not full hipster But...
2:38:28Are there hipsters anymore? Well, I was just reading something like that about like the people that dress Like, you know, they were like a... Like a postal employee from the 1700s I always... My definition of a hipster was always like Dad's money dresses like they don't have money Oh, okay, there's that too But there's also the hipsters that would dress with like curly mustaches and bow ties Yeah, those guys Yeah, so that's not Benstai yet That's Williamsburg That's kind of died off though Hasn't that look kind of died off? Yeah It has, right? It's died off. I would say what's more common is the gender and drogyny dressing Oh, yeah You know, that's a great move You can get a lot of pussy that way That's a big Brooklyn That's a big Brooklyn move But yeah Yeah, it's a great, I mean, it's great for comedy Oh, yeah Walking around Brooklyn Oh, yeah Should you see, you know, last January our front door was broken It didn't lock all the way It was broken for 18 hours Okay No one knows it's broken Just our building It's only three apartments Somebody checks the door It's not locked They go up to our hallway They steal all my family's winter coats Including mine Okay, this is harder January So we were as a family We wake up Let's go to the park Let's do whatever we open the door Where we kept our coats in the hallway Everything's gone So it's like holy shit It's the middle of January All our shit's gone I call it detective The cops come whatever He's like, these motherfuckers walk up and down the street Every night Checking for every door Just to see if something is broken Year and a half late I've been looking for this one coat that I love The Scotch and soda Multi Colors, pattern coat I love it I'm just looking online for my coat Someone's got to sell my coat So I find it on posh mark The coat I don't know if it's my coat But it's the exact same coat Which you can't find It's got to soda anymore I buy it It comes from my neighborhood From a woman She sends it to me I put it on my wife It's like that is your coat 100 % that's your coat So I fucking bought my coat back From the person that stole it Most likely But do you know who the lady is?
2:40:43I don't I did a Google search And nothing really came up It's just like How hard do I want to fight this? At least you got your coat back I got my coat back That's just like the price you pay for living in Brooklyn Yeah and like It's winter And I feel Part of me is like Holy shit Someone had to steal our coats Right That sucks I've never even like Not even thought about Not having to steal coats I have a coat I have multiple coats So there's a part of me That was this like Come ask I'll give you a fucking coat But in the part of you Was like Oh, there's selling them online Thank you, that's my coat They're making a profit Yeah That's the difference between Like the heartfelt You know Compassionate view Like, oh, these poor people They have to steal coats And then you're like, oh, actually they're selling it Something like Fucking heroin money Yeah Well If that's the case That sucks Yeah, it does suck Yeah, it does suck Yeah, it's a weird thing about Living in large communities People like that There's just too many variables Yeah A lot of variables that are not good And like One person affects so many Sure The one guy on my street That doesn't do a good job with the trash It gets knocked over The wind blows it The rest of the street picks it up That's the shit That as you get older The city starts to fuck fuck you up Yeah I don't want to pick his trash up anymore Yeah This is my time is all I have I'll pick up my family's trash And my trash I don't want to pick up that guy's trash The one guy who doesn't clean his dog poo Right Right And you know it The little tiny poo You're like, mother fucker I know that's your dog I can see that little dog He's You sneaky bitch Pick up the dog poo Pick up it up bro People don't like carrying around those bags of turds No I mean it's disgusting It's pretty gross It's gross It's also like, come on Yeah Can't just leave shit You know what the weird thing to me is the smokers Because smokers have no problem littering That's the weirdest thing Somehow that got through the litter loophole Right With people that are pretty conscientious Like they would never throw a soda can on the ground But they'll throw that cigarette on the ground Step on it Like what are you doing?
2:42:43Someone's gonna clean that Like what? I hope those are biodegradable the filters No No No I doubt it I mean maybe in like a hundred thousand years How long does it take for a cigarette filter to biodegradable? That's it Let's take a guess I was thinking that they're not the best reason for it But if you just throw it in the trash you could start a fire If you didn't put it out right So that could be No you step on it And then you throw it in the trash And then you throw it in the trash All the time I'm just telling you If you just people are dumb So this is a dumb thing we're talking about They're doing it with there's no trash anywhere near them They're throwing it down alleyways These do in the lot of the comedy store all the time Comics are doing it like Come on dude Don't do that I bet you it's I bet you it's 200 years For a filter to biodegradable Yeah I would say it leaves It's like Styrofoam or some shit It's like Yeah it's a fuckin' fiberglass or some shit By the way is that even better for you?
2:43:33Ten months to ten years Eighteen months to ten years That's pretty big Yep That's what one they're using That's AI You know what I mean? Oh it depends on which one I'm sure they don't all use this Like American spirits probably have like hemp or something like that That was fuckin' Yeah, hippies Hold on Hold on Now it's cellulose Huh What I don't know This is where we're getting this weird spot of AI I was gonna bring that up Google AI stuff Fucks up all the time Look on the screen Like it says 18 months to ten years here Right I go right here Are cigarettes biodegradable? No They're not biodegradable They're made of plastic called cellulose acetate Which can take up to 10 years to break down Also leech toxic chemicals into the environment But it does break down Yeah It's not biodegradable So it breaks down Yeah it's not Or it's poison It just breaks into smaller toxic pieces Yeah it breaks into poison Also if you're smoking a filter And the filters got toxic chemicals Yeah exactly And you're heating it up Photo -degradable It seems like a nice fun term they found Photo -degradable Oh but not biodegradable What does that mean?
2:44:35Trap residues from smoking, including arsenic, cadmium, and tolloon Tolloon? Yeah Oh no Yeah but the tolloon? Tolloon? This is the issue with AI I try not to even but it's contradicting itself I was reading a thing where a professor was talking about the issues that he's having Grading papers and accusing people of using AI And then it's like it's just opened up this whole door Yeah That they don't know exactly how to deal with Because you could get AI and write something And then you could write something similar You just kind of like twisted around a little bit like a joke thief would do Yeah And then you're basically using AI to write your papers But I think AI will sell that professor of AI detection software Yeah but if you do a good job of spinning the words around the world Especially if you're dealing with like historical facts or something that's true Like AI is going to write it out for you if you do zero research And if it's like you know he's printed in that order slightly differently I guess the bigger question is Does writing the term paper serve a value at this point?
2:45:38If AI can just do it Right You know I spent a lot of time learning cursive What the fuck is that? It's useless The thing is It's like if you're a student though If you're really trying to get the most out of your education It's like what are you trying to do? You're trying to get good grades or you're really trying to get educated If you're trying to get educated don't cheat Yeah Actually figure it out Yeah Actually absorb the information and learn But if you're not really into that subject And that's not really your thing And you really want to get a degree in this But you have to take a course in that like Yeah Yeah And you could like spend an hour working on something instead of 16 hours Yeah if you want to be a skateboarder And you've got to have pipe outside Have AI do the term paper and go fucking Yeah you don't have to read that Fucking giant 1400 page book Well this is good This is also a bigger question about like our education and public schools And like You're going to be in the matrix You don't need education Yeah They're going to plaque it in Press a button You're going to be like I know Kung Fu That's what it's going to be Yeah Yeah I mean I really firmly believe that I also believe it's going to be genetic engineering So people are going to be unrecognizable I think whatever we have coming over the next hundred years It's going to make the last hundred years look like a joke Right The change of 1925 to you know 2025 is pretty extraordinary It's going to be nothing Compared to the change that we experienced by 2125 Do you think humans will always elevate themselves and speak to a crowd for laughs?
2:47:12That might be the only thing we have left Because they've always said it's prostitution and comedy And comedy And comedy You know the court jester in the prostitut And I'm curious if we think in the future that'll remain as well I hope so I hope so Yeah it would suck Well definitely memes Memes will probably get better That's a good form of comedy That's true There'll be some kind of comedy There's always going to be human folly As long as it's humans And I don't know how long that's going to last That's the real concern So we might be obsolete And we might be giving birth to this obsolete thing willingly Signing up for AI So if we become obsolete then that means the machines We'll have to also figure out how to provide energy to itself But that'll be easy They'll learn They'll do it way better than us Just mind the thing and burn the thing and then Right Yeah they'll probably harness some shit we didn't even think about Right And it'll be far more efficient Right No carbon footprint Enough to worry about things breaking down anymore And then we'll just slowly die off or whatever And they'll be up a shield system to protect us from asteroids They'll figure that out Right Yeah What's that movie where the semester still only lives in the bot And the basement of the earth or whatever Judge Dread Yeah maybe it's Judge Dread Yeah I am the Lord But I feel like it's all these people who refuse The advancement of technology Right It's going to be some of that Yeah there'll be a lot of people living in the Amazon Still eating monkeys But the rest of the electrified world is going to be very strange Yeah Yeah But hopefully we'll still crack jokes Michael That would be great Hopefully All right should we wrap this up?
2:48:51Your book tell everybody My book is copy I did There it is Thank you The publisher is going to kill me I said I was going to present it to you on the show Whoopsies We got a photo of it It was a matter of adventures and tennis and comedy Lucky loser Give me a copy And I'll put it out there in the bookshelf Could a lot of books out there We should have sent you one if you don't I'll get you one Yeah so the book starts when my brother gave me a tennis racket For Christmas when I was four And my dream was to be professional tennis player And we did it But only to 864 in the world That's my highest world ranking You should have turned into a check You could have dominated That's the play of the book But it's the story is how I went from pro tennis to comedy And it's fascinating and silly And a lot of failure Talking a lot about the struggles of being alone In both of those professions Tennis you're alone Problem solving And comedy you're alone and problem solving And Well you're a great comic You're a very funny guy And you've always been very cool to hang out with Thanks And I'm really excited that you're at the club this weekend Are there any tickets available?
2:49:59I got an email yesterday for my management that all shows are sold out So if anybody wants to go the best case thing is you go and wait at the front And sometimes people don't show up which does happen Especially with South by Southwest It's crazy parking But I'm psyched I'm psyched to see you at the club I'm coming this weekend I'll come hang out Dude Thank you That would be awesome And thanks for having me And congrats on the club and all this happening Thank you And congrats on everything Thank you, congrats on the field show Thank you All right, bye everybody
From the publisher
Michael Kosta is a standup comic, host of "The Daily Show," host of his own podcast, "Tennis Anyone," and author. His new book, "Lucky Loser: Adventures in Tennis and Comedy," is available now.
www.michaelkosta.com
Save $20 on your first subscription of AG1 at drinkag1.com/joerogan
Visit LifeLock.com/JOEROGAN to save up to 40% off.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices




