#2296 - Big Jay Oakerson

23:33It's kind of shocking. It is shocking. That's what I'm saying. I'm surprised. There's the butt enlargement. Intramuscular buttock implants. So now when they say buttock, I feel a little more comfortable. I feel like these are real pros. So you're going to take those plastic... What are those things made out of, Jamie? Let's find out. Those ones are dirty. They pulled them out of a butt. Oh, they took them out. He's a D -transitioner. Okay, so what does it say? Buttock augmentation is most commonly performed by fat injections. Oh, men can do like women's synthetic... Oh, while men can do like women's synthetic filters, fillers...

24:15Oh, synthetic fillers. Oh, boy. And fat injections, they often are less tolerant to the procedures that require multiple treatments and whose effects are more modest. Interesting. They're often smaller and flatter buttocks are more resistant to augmentation efforts with stronger interglutial muscles and a thinner subcutaneous fat layer. So you're saying I can do it to dudes but it's not going to come out good. Isn't it crazy that the only real end game of this? Because like what's the benefit in your life? But it's like money. It's like ultimately it's like finding someone who's going to like your weird body more.

24:54You think it's money for dudes? It's like, oh, for dudes. Yeah, these are dudes. That's a dude. Oh, that's just gay probably. Gay as fuck. Or maybe the guy was also crowdsourced and maybe they paid for it. Maybe it was just... Yeah. Solid ultra soft silicon buttock in plants of 400cc were placed in a layered muscle and incision closure done, no drains were used. His long -term results showed good improvement. Scroll up please. His buttock size and shape was even probably better in that regard that I thought could occur. Ew. It looks fake. Like there's a lump. There's a lump where you have a tumor in your ass.

25:35Like look, there's like a little ridge where all of a sudden the implant is. That's so weird that I'm staring at this guy's butt. I also don't think it's the same guy. This is the same guy. I trust these people. Why was the internet like? They're buttock people. They wouldn't lie. But the penis surgeries are like nutty thing from like cutting a tendon. Yeah, to make it just poke out a little more. And then there's other ones where they thicken it up. They get in there with a mesh and thicken it up. Very nice sauce. When I was a heavy or even I went to, I got a consultation, free consultation at a plastic surgeon.

26:11I was like, I bet if I'm fine with my hard dick, but I hate my soft tang sometimes. And I was like, I bet if I got my gun sucked out, my presumption, it'll make it a... You dig more impressive. It'll make it look bigger soft, particularly. And I'm like, so I went to the consultation and it was a male doctor. So you're like, okay. And he gets it. I mean, I knew he was going to have to look ultimately at one point. But this guy takes me to Miri goes, he goes, all right, drop your pants. I drop my pants. And I also have Dr. Dick. You know, like it's like, I'm also a guy. So I'm like, shit. And you can't like, I don't want to try to like, fluff it up.

26:50You have fluff it before he walks in as weird too.

26:56So I, he fucking comes in and he's like, drop your pants. And he goes, walk over to this mirror, which I was like, oh God, don't make me do this. And I stand in front of the mirror and he goes on either side of my dick with his hands. And he goes, right now it looks like this. And I can make it look and he pushes my fat back and goes like this. And I was like, his dick is just inches from your face. I was like, the whole time. I pulled my pants up like a victim and left the office and everything thought about it again. That was crazy. That's a weird look. And she's getting in there. And then here, I'm going to move my face six inches from your dick.

27:38But don't worry. I went to school. I thought they're looking up at you. Do you like that? You see the frame diploma? This is fine. This is fine. This is a safe space. What does your dick taste like? I wonder. Oh man. There's no way he doesn't go out and talk to those hot ass nurses about my little weiner. Yeah, definitely. That's a little stick. Oh my God. It smells like cheese. I don't know. At this point, they expose so many people. Do you believe anybody's genuine goodness anymore? It's hard to believe. You know, I went down a deep dive looking at doctors who use their own sperm in fertility clinics.

28:13I was researching this one case. I just wanted to find out, like, God, how did they catch them? What happened? I found there's like hundreds of cases. Oh, it's yeah, it's got hundreds of cases. There's hundreds of cases that doctors do in this. There's doctors using their own sperm. And then people find out on 23 and me because it's like fucking everybody that neighborhoods related. It's just their kink, just like jerk off in the vials. It's just such a crazy thing. There's so many fucking psychos out there. What are your favorite giggle at while you're injecting a girl with your gizz? I had this guy on yesterday that spent 25 years as an undercover FBI guy that infiltrated biker gangs and neo -Nazis and bro.

29:00Like, you talk to a guy like that and you start really wanting, like, where's the good in the world? How many creeps are there? Like, how many really fucking psychotic people are out there organizing right now in the world? That's a wild thing to go with, like, different groups undercover, though, too. If they ever overlap someday. Like, and you go, hey, you were a skinhead two months ago. When did you become a biker? Yeah, exactly. And this guy is, look at him. Let me show you a picture of him. Just a big fucking giant dude with a goatee and pull back hair and tattoos all of his arms. So he, like, blended right in with all these psychos.

29:37Thank God I used to have a, when I was young, I had a joke about the concept of, like, with hookers where you have to, they go, whoa, if you ask him if they're a cop. They'll tell you, they tell you goes, they have to tell you, or it's entrapment. And I was like, then what the fuck is undercover work? Because I said doing, like, five years with the mob. And then one day they go, hey, you know, I never even asked you. This is stupid, but are you a cop? Like, shit, man, yeah. I, I think that was like, you were my kids christening. I know, man. You never asked. I swore at this point I thought you were never going to ask.

30:09I think that was like a dumb thing they made up for TV show. You know, and then everybody thought it was real. It was like some dumb plot point. Are you a cop? No. Yeah, of course you could say no. Right, because the good guy who is the cop always had to be honest. Yeah. He was never a lot of this guy. He was telling me about, he had to do cocaine with these people. They had to beat people up. And he's like, if shit went down, man, I had to be a part of it. The prostitute stings they would do on cops. We're always they'd get in the car and they'd be like, are you a cop? And you go, come on. Do I look like a cop?

30:40Bro, this guy got busted wearing a wire and got away with it. Really? They didn't find the wire. No shit. They came that close. He said they were inches away. They were rubbing his clothes, like checking all his clothes. He said they were inches away, but he was like arguing with them. I can't fucking believe you guys, like that kind of shit. After I mysteriously showed up three weeks ago, and now I'm working my way through the ranks. Now you're going to start patting me down. All right. And I'm helping you run guns and drugs to Mexico. Guys, come on. I'm going to chase you today morning. I'm that guy.

31:10I'm that guy. I am your brother. I'm the dude. And meanwhile, they all go to jail eventually. Seems like it's right. Also when they do undercover, it still seems like when they would go home at night still. Come out of their biker clothes. How was it, huh? Like these guys are animals. I hope one of them didn't happen to follow me home. Well, he was he was not doing things that were anywhere near his home. That's the he would go away for long stretches at a time and go back and forth. And he had all these reasons for doing so different businesses that he did that he was involved with. Did he ever like find himself?

31:45I mean, you kind of like hang with somebody that much time and they think you're their friend. Do they ever get like sympathy for them? Yeah, yeah, definitely. That's one of the more fascinating parts about it. It was like, he this guy that he had to put in jail. He's like, that guy was like my friend. He's like, we finished each other sentences. We were just like each other. Other than the fact that he was a criminal and I was an FBI agent. And I was like, do you think that you could have gone down that road if you had the wrong life? Like, Abso, fuck it. Lutely, man. Abso, fuck it. Oh, shit.

32:11All of us could have. I go, that's what I think too. I think that's what happened to Michael Rappaport in higher learning. He's chatting with the wrong crowd. He was a regular guy with good intentions next to you. He's shooting women. Super normal in a 90 minute arc of a film. It was so much so fast. Unless he's the star of the film where they follow him every step of the way. He was a clockwork orange for black people. Oh boy. For 90 minutes, you just bl - Yeah. Michael Rappaport is his kin and is hilarious. You got to see when the cops have him at the end and they're like, son, everything's going to be fine.

32:49You're white. Oh my God. Oh my God. Rappaport does a really good job of complaining about things. Like, he's always got something that he's fucking screaming and yelling about. It's pretty hyped to bet, Israel seems. It seems like it. Yeah. I've only seen hyped about two things. Israel and Ari.

33:10See when two things have ever hyped him. Michael Rappaport. Oh. And also, I think the rising of the black race. Also, I think piston off a scene in that scene. In that scene. But to his credit, that was the 90s. Yeah. Nobody knew better back then. Well, it's so funny for him. Also, if you remember his first big role, great movie called Zebra Head. Oh, yeah. And he was like, uh, because that was more of his thing. He's more of like, uh, like the right thing, too, right? Was he and do the right thing? I don't know. I don't know if he was in that true romance for sure. That was great. When it comes to college basketball and March, Mania, one thing is for sure.

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35:11Maybe. Was he in a jury? I didn't watch a lot of Spike Lee. Oh, he had some bangers in the early days. Mo better blues made me feel lazy. Because I remember Denzel Washington would practice every day. You know, like he was an artist. He would practice every day. And his girl was trying to fuck. And he was like, no, no, no, I have to practice. And I was like, wow, I wish I was like him. I wish I would practice more than pussy. I would think about that as a comic. Like even when I was a professional comic in the early days, I didn't spend my whole day writing. I was fucking off playing pool and hanging out with my friends.

35:43Maybe thinking of true romance. He was in that. No. No, I thought it was a. Sorry. I don't know. Do the right thing. His first movie was in 92. Oh, really? Interesting. You're thinking of daddy ILO. I don't know who I'm thinking of. Who am I thinking of? Go to do the right thing. Cast. Terturo. Maybe I'm thinking of Terturo. That is probably who you're thinking of actually. That is who I'm thinking of. It's hard to see in that picture when he was younger. He's younger. I mean, Michael's a lot younger. But Zebra head. Yeah, he was like his. Like his whole thing is like a hip hop guy. That's right.

36:18So it's so funny that he plays this like a major role as like a white fucking white supremacist. It's got to take what you can get. You know, it's acting, bro. It is. I think Robert De Niro really was a psycho and taxi driver. No. No. Maybe. Go watch that movie again. Whoo. You know, it's funny the building I lived in in New York on 57th Street is the old taxi depot that they shot taxi driver in. Really. And they keep downstairs like where the gym and stuff is. They have the signs still. They keep the sign, the original signs for the parking lot. That was a good movie. That was a fucking great movie.

36:57And if Robert De Niro just never gave a political speech, I would think about him that way. You can't make a movie like that with a budget anymore. Well, every movie with balls, it has to be an indie flick. 100%. Yeah. Or you have to be some beyond reproach director that they just let do whatever they want. Like a Tarantino. Yeah. Like there's no way once upon a time in Hollywood went through some sort of an executive focus group. Yeah. There's no fucking way. He's killing women smashing their head on a mantle. Spoiler alert. I mean, dogs are eating dicks. What a brilliant, what a brilliant ending though.

37:32Oh, that movie's great. It's so good. It's so good. I love that movie. I don't know if I've seen that final scene where they flip history. I've never had an audience in a movie theater like communally laugh like that since the Jackass movies. Right. The Jackass too. It was a cheering moment too. That was a fucking great movie. He's got all bangers. He's the only guy that I could say as a dude. Man, there's a few others that you probably could put in that argument that have zero movies where I'm like. Oh, they have no, like everything's good. Tarantino. There's not one that I can think of that was a fucking awesome.

38:10I like to movie that you have to try to figure out, but when you can't figure it out and other people can't figure it out, you're like, this is just a hunk of shit there. Right. You can't be so artistic that nothing makes sense. James Cameron's on some fucking bangers. Do you watch like I've gone through on the road and watched like the 25 most disturbing movies of all time? No. I don't like being disturbed that much too. Yeah. I think so. I mean, I just kind of see how far people will go in a movie. There's some, I mean, Serbian films, the most notorious. Yeah, there's some fucking psycho movies.

38:42Like who's that one that evil clown that kills everybody and doesn't talk? The terrifying? Oh, terrifying. Yeah. Bro, these movies are fucked up. Yeah, but they're a campy on purpose. Like they're so over the top. There was a whole category of film. I was really in a horror movies when I was young. And there was a whole category of films that were just Gore films. Yeah. They were called Gore. It was like a goal. It was those guys were like chopped women up with an axe and pulled their guts out and rub them all with their fake like fuck. They also had excessive nudity in them. Those were the horror boxes at the video store that were bigger than everything else.

39:20Like those like I spit on your grave movies like that with the box was way bigger. So you really had to walk up like a piece of shit. I'm going to watch this rape revenge movie with my other teenage friends. Thank you. Nothing like a good slasher rape revenge movie. Yeah, that's so many. Yeah, that's the fucking best. Why is that? We're so dumb. We like to just sit there and watch this guy kick everybody's ass. Yeah, fuck them up. Yeah, it's Robocop. I love it. It's the fantasy. Did you ever see Sissu? No. I think it's my fate. Next to John Wick, it's my fate. It's probably right up there with John Wick as my favorite revenge movie of all time.

39:55It's about a guy and the whole movie has no English in it. It's in World War II. Is it Finland? Thanks a lot. And this dude is a soldier who retired from the war and became a gold miner. He made a little score and was trying to get to the town with his score and he runs of the Nazis. And it's so fun. It's so fun. Because you could tell this guy does not want to do this. But he's got to kill everybody. And they all get cocky with him. What do you think the mindset is?

40:37Noice. So it turns out this guy was like famous in the war for being impossible to kill. His scars all over his body. He's like the absolute worst guy. And they found him. And he kills everybody. Spoiler alert. And it's fucking great. It's just fun. What do you think the mindset is between just behind like a Liam Neeson? Who I mean, there's a movie comes out almost by monthly of him getting revenge for something. Hey, it's a living. Bruce will start doing that towards the end. Bruce Willes at the end started doing that. Did he? Yeah, just movies that were just like two words or something. Well, I think he was suffering from that illness for quite a while.

41:23You know what it is? It's called aphasia. Yeah, yeah. It's dementia, right? It's not good. Yeah, it's bad. It's real bad. I don't know what causes it, whether it's genetic or what have you, but people, they slip away. And he might have, you know, towards the end. I mean, he just goes this guy. Yeah, he's got a lot of them. They're all him with the gun. It's all him with the gun. And here's the thing that him with the gun shit started later in his life. Yeah. That's what's crazy. He became like a guy who fucks people up in his 60s. Yeah, he was a cosper. He knows. How old is he now? He's 72 and he's fucking people up in movies.

42:01Oscar Schindler. Schindler's list. Well, when you're 72, it's hard to get out of bed. You know, you're like, oh, oh, oh. When I saw Schindler's list, it made me think of, uh, now I give the prices of everything and amount of Jews I could have saved. How much is this TV? There's about 12 Jews. It's, um, what was that? You just pulled up Jamie? You're showing me? We're making the naked gun. They are with Liam Neeson? Yes. I don't know. Well, there's a few movies that they've, people have gotten a few AI things passed through. Everyone takes this real. Like I've seen it. Oh, right. I've seen it. I believe those every day.

42:33Yeah. I saw Kiano Reeves' Dracula and I was like, really? Got this stuff. We right in. I'm like, Kiano Reeves is going to be Dracula now. That's crazy because he was in the Dracula movie back in the day. And he was Dracula's girlfriend's boyfriend. They always get me with like a rob zombies remaking something you love. They're always listening. Have you had him on? Yeah. He was a cool guy to talk to. He was, I toured with him. I've met him a handful of times. He's good friends with Tom Papa. We've been introduced in that regard. And whenever I see him, it's the blank of like, nope. I went on stage right before him the entire tour.

43:11And he has no recollection. One time, um, this is a great story. I was, uh, we had tickets to go through passes to go see rob zombies. I think it was the Halloween, the original Halloween remake he did. Oh, yeah. And, uh, comedian Julian McCullough had these passes. Four of us. It was going to be me, uh, Nate Bargazzi. And I'm trying to remember Dave Smith. Yeah, it was Dave Smith and Julian McCullough. And I had auditioned for a TV show the morning of that. And it was the first audition I ever did that it went well, went really well. And I got it. I got the part of the show. It was on for two years called Z -Rock.

43:54But there you go. This is how much acting is not my passion. It was like that. They go, uh, we need you to come back in at like four for a table read we're going to do. And all I thought was I was like, shit. That Rob Zombie movie starts at like six o 'clock. I was like, how long are we going to be here for? I feel like it's only been an hour or so. When we get back here. And it was going. It was running late when we got back there. So I told Nate Bargazzi to go, I'm like, hey, go down there and get in line. You know, to make sure we get into this thing. I don't know if they're overselling it or not.

44:26And he goes, all right. So I get out of this thing and we're I'm rushing down. We're walking to this movie theater. And I call Nate. This is so defeating. I go, hey, you're down. He goes, I don't know if I'm at the right theater. And I went, what do you mean? He goes, I mean, there's a big line for something. And I was like, go get in that line, Nate. And he was like, oh, that's it. So we get there. We're so far back in line. There's no way we're getting into this movie. And I'm like, shit, Julian's very handsome. So we send him up to kind of schmooze the girl up front, no dice. And then I see Rob Zombie walk into the diner next door.

45:03And I go, this might be our chance. We just are loosely connected. And you know, maybe I can get in the remember. And we go in there. It's my best interaction with him ever. I go, I go, I go, hey, Rob, I go, Jay Oakerson. I go, we met it through Tom Papa before. And he's like, oh, yeah. And he shoots this shit with us for like five minutes. And then I go, well, anyway, man, I'm really excited for the movie. I hope we get in. You know, we're like super far back in line. He goes, you'll be fine. Just so. And then we, and then we did knock it in. We wrote a hot subway home together, staring at Nate.

45:35Oh, no, you'll be fine. Yeah, he goes. Nah, you'll be fine. You'll be fine as I'm not going to help you. Yeah, it really wasn't about the flight out of goes. This has been great. But leave me alone now. The thing about it though is like, does he save tickets? Like, does he have a block of tickets saved? For sure. For sure. Not for the guy at the diner though. There's some people you just don't resonate with in the world. I think in the time, I don't know. Dave Chappelle's not about Dave Chappelle. I've met over the last 25 years a dozen times. I did some punch ups on season one of a Chappelle show.

46:13He bumped me in Kurt Metzger off a weekend in the thing. But we were there and we hung out with him there. And every time I see him still, it's just completely unfamiliar. Chris Rock, same thing. I do not make an impression with these people. That's so weird. I also shut down around celebrity. Oh, maybe that's it. So I can't inject my personality out of the gates in a situation where I'm intimidated by where I go. Not intimidated, but I go, man, I really want them to like me. Isn't that weird because you know so many famous people. But you know what I mean? I want them to like me. But I go, if I try to be funny and I whiff, this sucks.

46:53You just feel nervous. So I'm like, I could just lay low and not take the risk of being not funny by accident. That's hilarious. It's hard. There's no one who intimidates Jenny. I mean, the people you have in here and just strike a conversation with is unbelievable. No, people don't intimidate me anymore. They inspire me. Some people are fascinating. They inspire me. Every time I have a big guest coming in that I don't know on me and Bobby Kelly on the radio show. And someone's coming in. I get like, when they're like, all right, we're going to go get them now. I'm always like, wait. All right.

47:24Okay, go get them. Because I'm like, shit. What do we even start with? I used to be like that on Opie and Anthony. Yeah. Yeah, when I go on Opie and Anthony and like, they'd have famous guests there. I'd be like, holy shit. You know, that's this guy. Holy shit. That's that guy. Yeah. That's weird. The first time I went there, I got bumped back to the couch for Ace Freely. The party was like, this sucks, but wow, he's fucking free. I met Ace Freely when I was a little kid. Really? Yeah, my uncle was an artist and he was working for this advertising agency in New York City where they made album covers.

47:58So they made album covers for KISS. So my uncle was one of the artists that made the album covers for a lot of the KISS albums. No shit. Yeah. So I was in his office hanging out with him during the day. I was probably eight or something like that. I was fucking young, man. And maybe I was a little older than that. I can't remember. It's hard to remember, but I was a little kid. It was pretty high school. And this guy walks in with like, you know, long hair. It looks weird. It's just like a weird dude. And he made some like weird noise. Like, he was real strange. And then everybody goes, hey, Ace, hey, Ace.

48:33And I was like, what? Like that's, that's Ace Freely with no makeup on. Like this is crazy. He was old. And he signed a napkin for me. Do you have it? Yeah. Well, no, I don't think I have it anymore. Maybe my mom might have it. I'll ask her. I doubt it. It got lost somewhere. But it was the craziest thing. I was like, wow, that's the famous guy with no makeup. Because everywhere they went, people were paparazzi. We were always trying to catch them. You know, like Gene Simmons was wearing like a bandit's mask. And they were always trying to catch them without their makeup on. Has this celebrity ever let you down?

49:06Like when you met them? Not really. No. Honestly, no. No, there's not like, no, no. I've always worried about that. Like Marilyn Manson was always somebody I wanted to meet. And then when he went through all his shit, did not want to meet. So it's like, stay away. But then I want to like, I very much would like to met him. He's such an interesting character. But like, I'm like, I'm such a fan since I was a kid that I'm like, this could only let me down somehow. I met him. He's very interesting. He's an artist. Yeah. Yeah. He's a, you know, if you think of some of the songs, he's really beautiful people.

49:38But you don't make that less your out of your fucking mind. Like that's part of the, that's part of the package. You want brilliant fucking wild music. You got to get a dude who's out of his fucking mind. Do you have any theories on why people can't, like classic, amazing bands can't make a classic again. Comedians can still write their best joke. Right. And it will be accepted. Everyone's looking for that. What's the new thing? But like, if Guns and Roses got everybody back together again and sat in the room for three months, they can't make welcome to the jungle again. They're not the same guys.

50:11You know, that's part of the problem. And then also part of the problem is, I want to see Guns and Roses in Athens. I saw them in Greece. It was just a total coincidence. I was there with my family, and I ran into Axel Rose at a restaurant. This is more recent? Real recent. Okay. Last summer. Or, yeah, like last summer or the summer before last? Summer before last, I guess. And, you know, it's one of those weird moments. I've got to hope he knows who I am. You know what I mean? Everybody goes say hi. I'm going to be a dick. And this is after my friend tried to say hi to him and he got shoot away.

50:39Oh. So I went over to his table. And he was like, Hey, man, what's up? I was like, I was really nice to meet you. I'm a huge fan of this thing, because we're doing the concert here tomorrow night. You want to see him? I'm like, fuck yeah. And so, my whole family went to see guns and roses. We're backstage watching. It was amazing. Three -hour performance. These guys are in their 60s. Yeah, yeah. They're fucking rocking hard. I saw him on the new tour. Three hours. But the thing is, they have so many hits. If you want them to do all the songs you love, it's going to take a long time. And if they're going to add new songs.

51:09Isn't it crazy, too, that it's essentially four albums? Crazy. All of that from four albums. Bangers. Yeah. You know? They did great. I was pretty impressed with, for I mean, again, the age. Dude, welcome to the jungle to this day. I'll hear that song and go, God, damn, that was a fucking good song. I took my parents to see it in a Madison Square Garden. And it was such a weird, I got so straight, the things I get emotional about are ridiculous. I got like teary -eyed emotional when it starts welcome to the jungle. You know, they start playing the riff. And I got immediately teary -eyed, because I was like, it just took me back immediately to a time.

51:44It was like a time travel. And I was like, holy shit, I'm like 11, 12 years old. I got this album. And my mom was like, what is that shit? You know? And now my mom's like, here with me watching them as a classic rock band. What year did welcome to the jungle come out? 87, I want to say. 86. I remember being right out of high school at the gym, lifting weights. The first time I heard it, they were, you know, at the gym everybody would just play what's on the radio. You know, WCOZ. And we were listening to the, I think it was WBCN, the Rocco Boston. Appetite for destruction. 87. Yep. So that was two years out of high school.

52:23And I was like, wow. Listen to this. Do you know the first time I heard it and like kind of backwards track it from there? I think it came out, pretty sure it came out first, was the movie Deadpool. Oh, yeah. Or the Deadpool, Clint Eastwood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the scene was, Jim pre -famous Jim Carrey plays a rock star junkie and they're shooting his music video and the song they're using is welcome to the jungle. Really? Yeah. You can see it's a pretty popular scene. If you look that up, Deadpool, the Deadpool, Deadpool Jim Carrey. When did Motley crew come out with kickstart my heart?

53:01That's probably 86. That's, that was my favorite workout song of all time. Look at that. Jim Carrey. Isn't it funny, even though he's not being funny at all, he's still, it's like his movements are so Jim Carrey. Yeah. Yeah. Like a game, right, right. Right, right. But like again, you don't get to be Jim Carrey unless you're out of your fucking mind. Now, now he's showing that now too. You know, you don't get to be that guy. You don't get to be fire marsher bill unless you're out of your fucking mind. I'll make a lot of concession for someone's process. But when I watched that documentary about him doing the Andy Kaufman movie, and him coming into the make -up thing every day, and really like screaming, and bothering the shit everybody, you see almost, you see Jud Hersh's face in the documentary.

53:49that's plenty. We're good. I get it. You have to get into your mode or whatever. But like, come on. Apparently he would go nutty if he fucked a scene up, like smash things. Yeah. Exactly. And it's like, this is not, that was not his personality when he was talking out of his ass cheeks. You know what I mean? Or when he was doing vanilla ice on in living color. You know what I mean? Like, what's that personality ship where you become a guy who's kind of like rude to interviewers and stuff like that? Like, strange. Well, I think when you're trying to get into a character, there's like a thing that some of these guys do where they are just that guy the whole time.

54:23Like when, when, when, who was it that played Lincoln? Daniel De Lewis. Daniel De Lewis, right? Yeah. So when Daniel De Lewis was playing Lincoln, he was apparently Lincoln. Yeah. Like they said all day. All day long, all the time. Yeah. So if you're playing and... You shouldn't let me, you shouldn't let me eat modern foods then. That's catering. Right. Here's your mutton, Mr. Lincoln. Right. You got to go full old school. Shit. In a hole in the ground, sir. We're having Chilean sea bass. You. A bowl of gruel. Some deer jerky. Yeah. Like. And no teeth. No toothbrushes. Yeah. We haven't figured out toothbrushes yet.

55:00When do they figure out toothbrushes? That's a good question. Like when do people start brushing their nasty fucking teeth? The ones you would buy. The ones you would buy. In like the 1500s. My producer brings it up all the time. Cause he watches a lot of like period pea shows like that. And even like the... Like peaky blinders. What is it? What is that? They always have like attractive people and these like the deadwood times. Right. Like deadwood. And then the girl, you know, she'll like lift her skirt up. And you're like, God. I bet it smells like a fucking murky dungeon down there. And then when she bathed and then all they...

55:31There's no showers. So they have to just bathe in it and just hope that whatever's in there washes in the surface. What's it people smell like back then that means like prostitutes stuff you go It's like what's the best they could do and by the way they probably spelled better than the people living in the cities Mm -hmm the people living in the cities were all just using public outhouses The cities were filled with shit from horses. It's like oh coming home and kissing your wife at the end of the day It's just a you're you're tracking shit everywhere And so is your dog and so are your cats everyone's tracking shit all over your house all over your tables There's shit everywhere.

56:06Yeah, it just wouldn't floors with dirt all over them shit and just little little little scabs of shit Everywhere there's just shit everywhere you go and everyone has smallpox That's why yeah no one get it if you're why if your husband died you have to marry his brother That's why anybody talking about the good old days shut your stupid mouth This is the good old days with basic hygiene. Yeah books and medicine and shit what the fuck are you talking about? I wish I live back on the 1600s when I died if I broke my ankle now, but if I could have picked Getting for the so hard because like moving backwards like why would take all the technology of now of course Well, you can't go anywhere then you can't make it like a hybrid deal No, no, it's not a hybrid deal But if I was saying if I have to just let go of that and see what the most fun time would have been to To be like a teenager in 20s 70s.

56:58I think Well, listen to Ambrosia fucking you can wear a silk shirt on ironically. We were all real confused if you were chubby No, it even cared chubby guys got pussy in the 70s if you had a beard did they as long as you had a beard some long hair And you knew how to get cocaine. Yeah, and if you know how to get a cocaine I grow a long pinky nail so people wouldn't know my house was the party spot Yeah, that used to be a thing you see a guy with a long pinky That long pinky nail was like oh that guy parties that was like when there's a bad guy in the movie had a long pinky nail Yeah, which is so gross.

57:29That's so disgusting. We think what what that's how bad people want cocaine They'll snort it off some stinky fucking fingernail Oh, yeah, I went to I did a gig opening for Bobby Slate and Years ago at the West Palm Impra the Old West Palm Imprave and That was a great bro the guy. Yeah the wide shallow one and Forget the name is Joey something was the guy who hosted but he was like local Local legend this guy and He brought us back to his house. He's like he took us to the strip club and it was like everyone No, I'm kind of thing. Yeah, and then brought girls back to his house and I am always impressed with the level of like A person who carries their morbid obesity with like a not give a shit and also Have no give a like no care that the girls are gonna suck his dick or fuck him because he's got coke Do you know what I mean like I'm bad at to like fuck me for something Thing and like but this guy we went back to his house.

58:33I mean his underwear and like a robe open Do you know I mean with all these girls around has given him coke and she was wild He had a cabana in the back of his house But the most interesting thing about him that I found out was the next day. He wanted to take me somewhere to eat So he picked me up and he was a narcaleptic and every time there was a red light. He'd fall asleep and slur He's just fall asleep snore. Yeah, and you have to acknowledge you gotta go like hey, man. Oh my god Hey, okay, he's never acknowledged you go. Yeah, I'm good and he's good as soon as he had a red like Like loud aggressive snoring now is he a second?

59:10He's called narcoleptic or does he have severe sleep apnea because if he's a big fat guy He's probably never were rested eyes closed head goes in the shoulder instantly instantly What is narcolepsy from? Like they do like healthy people have not narcolepsy look is there any athletes that have narcolepsy? He said Ron Jeremy was person who had it and he's another guy's big and fat. Yeah When he went time he was the sick he came this seller one time with a dentist off guy Mm -hmm, which uh. Yeah, that was a guy of the people like quote -unquote celebrities who would come in that I can never pay like homage to and have like the thing was it didn't want to meet with like a dentist off The wife of the bunny house.

59:49Yeah, I don't know why it was so celebrated I know it's like it's legal, but like you don't see his personality. It's kind of skeeviest shit Well, there was a weird time where For whatever reason were kind of celebrating pimps and prostitutes like do you remember pimps up hose down sure? Yeah, I mean that was like a famous documentary mr. White folks. Yeah, he was the best. Yeah, I watched all those But they were like celebrated like people like and then there was American pimps remember that film. Yeah. Yeah No, it was it what well that was like the The small window of like Pro -sexuality and go be horrors girls and then it immediately became me too But it was weird though because it was the exploiters of those women It wasn't like it's okay to be a prostitute It was it's cool to be the man who exploits all these women and gets them to go be prostitutes I think it took 20 some years for people to realize that Joe Francis was a terrible guy You know, I mean he was celebrated as as hell I just heard a Howard Stern clip the other day where he had Joe Francis on I'm sure if you have some about Joe Francis now he'd be like what a terrible piece of shit Yeah, but when girls going wild was a thing everyone was just like who cares how it gets done Yeah, that's crazy, right like girls gone well That's how the when the internet wasn't around you could buy tapes of drunk girls at the bar flashing their boobs Yeah, pay for it.

1:01:10Yep You'd pay for it. Yeah, and then like a production value Oh, now would you pay you pay for it and then you were part of a subscription service that Is that what it was? Yeah, and then every month it would be like girls going wild girls on campus too and Girls covered in bubbles. Was it one of those things were they trick you into subscribing? Yeah It's Columbia House like all Columbia House for titties. Yeah, yeah crazy. Oh, I've ruined Columbia House and me have ruined the Credit of my all my pets in my life. They get into your credit Columbia House got in your car No, no, I'm saying you just put you send the penny and you put you put your cats name down and then they just send you 10 CDs But it doesn't ever really what was the checks and balances on that I always thought that was a fluff up scheme for the record business Where they could say they sold more records than they did that's possible That's actually not a bad move kind of a good move if you want to get a gold record or a platinum record Sell as many as you can you be ten seat when it went up to a dollar send a dollar is where it stopped You know guys, but a dollar to give you a penny.

1:02:11Yeah, to me a dollar really was like no I just usually tape a penny to a postcard What a concept to tape penny here it said it was the dumbest concept ever you give them one penny And if you give them one penny they give you a bunch of CDs and you're supposed to give them money You know like what you get to pick them. Oh, yeah, you pick your first time It was my taking it was my before I had A porn magazines readily available to go into a bathroom or anywhere where there was a bathroom where I felt I could quietly look at porn magazines It was the TV guide Take the TV guide the bathroom do the crossword puzzle and then pick my 10 CDs for a penny because it was always an insert on the TV Guide that's right.

1:02:51I was the postcard. Yep tape penny here and you send it in all sudden you get Cassette tapes are in the mail. Oh boy. Yeah. Oh boy. It was so great But isn't a smart move on their part because it probably introduced people to a lot of music Because if you think about it, you're only listening to the radio the radio is only playing what they play and they can only play so many songs Right, and if it's a hit they're gonna play that hit over and over again You can hear this and his rolling stones as does Led Zeppelin You know you know a lot of time for other music. No, so this is a good way even if you're giving it away to people Mostly are like what percentage let's find this out What percentage of people actually paid for their Columbia of recorded tapes?

1:03:32I think adults would definitely end up paying for because I think the deal was you're giving them your address So whatever the fake name you put down they're billing. I don't remember them chasing me at all I didn't feel it but they have but what they would do though is send you more And they would send you like I'd get like a CD every month But then I wasn't picking here 90 it reached its peak in 94 it accounted for 15 .1 % of all CD sales Yeah, they're 10 million members Yeah, you became a member of a club. That was kind of what was happening. Right What percentage people paid them? Well, that's I mean It doesn't say it on here But if you think about just that that's almost like more radio, right?

1:04:10Yeah, you're putting this song in the radio for free You're sending out these cassettes even if people don't pay that music's getting out there They're going to maybe buy another Rolling Stones record or tickets to see the Rolling Stones Well, you people didn't complain about Being part of Columbia House. I don't feel like but it's like remember when You know, that's like Metallica getting furious about Like lime wire and the Napster and those things But it's like it is sort of the same thing like your sacrifice But they came but they came from a time though where the money was from the recording Yeah, but there wasn't taking away for the money of the recording because you couldn't You know like it wasn't that many people doing it when it became something you could just download onto your computer That got weird sure and then record sales dropped off a cliff So they were right in the drop, but they were wrong that you can stop it like you can't you couldn't stop it right once like They were trying to like put fingers into a broken dam.

1:05:04There's no way like you got to get the buck out of the way Like you can't once it's on the internet when things are on the internet You can't say it's stealing to download it to your fans You can't do any you just got to realize all the world just change the people stay let's stand off for a while too Like was it Maynard did not want to go on a Apple music or a Spotify or anything forever. I think Garth Brooks didn't either right a kid rock didn't for a long time And then a lot of them would try to go and like I'm gonna do my own Apple music He did that right. Yeah title that work. I don't you know Interesting when I talked to Kevin Hart in Montreal some years back and he was buying up He was buying up things for the LOL network That he was starting which was a guy against the internet network And they made all this news because when he did the pit show where they were pitching Ideas for his network He apparently in the room bought like four or five of them And when I saw him that night I was like these five you like five shows you saw today They're like definite shows and he was like no, but it gets your press You know, I mean he was telling me kind of like the whole thing about he goes But the idea of he was saying he was doing with that I'm like are you gonna run a network now?

1:06:17And he was like no you want to build it until it becomes competitive and then Another company comes along goes. Can we give you money just to go away? Is the idea you know, so the idea is like he wants a Netflix to buy Oh, well well or something like that. So it's just a good business move But I don't do you know absolutely I think you think like that. No, I have no business acumen whatsoever Yeah, that's a weird business acumen to have But I'm also but it probably effective. I'm You know blown away by but you know I watch you when you talk to Bert sometimes about that about as a employment of so many people Yeah, and everything like uh, which is great.

1:06:53He's got a great thing over there, but like production come I feel like the uh When you get a lot of money sometimes Which is impressive that you haven't done this. It's like you want to do almost like too much like well Now I'm a producer of things and now it's like this or other businesses that you want to like Start that are like outside of comedy like is that what your thing was always like it was never mine like to be like a business Own or anything or some kind of like uh You know where I was put like to have products or something. I think what happens is once guys realize the amount of money That they can make they want to just make more sure and it just becomes a numbers thing You just you see it and you're like oh my god.

1:07:28I can't believe I'm making this much money But if I did this then I may keep it more but I'd rather give a friend Uh, like some capital to like do their special then over you know I mean let's I was taking a job in it I'm gonna direct this and see if I can do that. Mm -hmm. You know, but just like the idea of uh Like I'm gonna have taking in like I have to take a meeting for a sketch show that wants to be on my network today Also you only have so much bandwidth sure and this is what I think people Fail to think about like you're you you require time to do everything your time is limited Like you really have to think if you oh, I could fit it in all I could do this all I could do that Sure, you can but then there's no you time at all and then you're running on fumes And when there's no you time and you're running on fumes you're not the best version of yourself So you got to know like where you're at you got to know where you're at like in terms of like your your sanity Like if you're working all the time five different jobs constantly and you're never home When you sleep till fucking Seven in the morning and then you're up gone all day and fucking going going going going going going going going going going You don't have a loan time if you don't have a loan time You don't even know how you feel about things We also get used to odd things like my alone time.

1:08:43I look at is like the hotel Like the hotel room just watching the bullshit that I want to watch on YouTube And doing it like that it is strange when I think I want to be like off And like a stationary for a while like I feel like the day Even just like a day here and there where it's like morning till night I just have nothing I have to do. It's rare But when it happens that day I tend to not be in a great mood really don't know why Well, it's because what you do you love and it's fun That's the thing like if you're doing something all day long And it's just like business stuff and it's just for money and it's not something you love That's a different vibe, right?

1:09:16That's like a hustle vibe I'm gonna get these get these numbers up and get this going and I'm a fucking I'm a worker And I'm gonna grind and I'm gonna show you because look I got this now and then I got that now See I'm grinding But as if it's a virtue. I always try to say this is a very important thing that people need to hear Just because it's hard to do doesn't mean it's good to do There's a lot of things that are hard to do that you don't necessarily want to do I don't want to climb out Everest It's hard to do but doesn't mean it's good to do it might be good to do for you Because you need to prove to yourself that you can do this extremely difficult thing But people are dead.

1:09:52There's a bunch of dead bodies up there. That's not a good thing to do To me in my opinion There's a lot of stuff like that in life and just because you can do things I'll show everybody that I work harder than everybody else like Maybe you shouldn't Sure like you need balance You need balance in this life and that's hard to get once you start When you start making money the big fear is what if it all goes away 100 % start you start clutching You start you start having famine instincts and like yeah, well my god What if it all goes away so then you start doing things that you think will ensure that it doesn't go away Well, it's that feeling you feel like you're running a scam.

1:10:28Yes, because also it's something Especially to stand up Putting a price on things is so strange when you're like well, I've done it For more than anything. I've done it for free. Yeah, then Second most I've done it for pennies You know, I mean so that's like the same it's interesting to be like well I've done the same job for 50 dollars that I've done for a hundred thousand dollars I mean like it's strange like It's a strange place to be and so uh, but it's because you do feel like well, what's what's they're gonna take until I'm back to like you know, hey when I come do a hundred dollars. I still get affected and it's just young comics Being young comics.

1:11:05I don't mind it, but like as long as I've been doing it I know they just want you to come do their show, but they're like hey man. I do it Tuesdays at the you know at the stand at 6 p .m Like a levic and buck can throw you a hundred bucks and stuff like that. You're like Why do you think I'm gonna come to take and why are you naming the money? Like if you just need me to do the show, I'd be less hurt if you were like I got a hundred bucks for you to like great Like that feels weird their kids right yet right and when you're a kid a hundred bucks is real So it's real to him. Oh shit And so I've done for a hundred bucks.

1:11:37Yeah, so it's like real money. It's like oh a hundred dollar gig in town. Great Yeah, and so he doesn't know any better yet. No, no for sure And like I said, I'm not insulting they want you on the show. That's great. It's just the idea that you're like $100 is gonna sell me dude. Don't say that. Well, I think he's just letting you know he'll give you something And sure go great. I'll go down there. No, I'd say I'm there I never write back like I mean that would be I'm not like that with young comics So it all I'm so bad at like It's my the tough time. I have will kill Tony. I love doing it And I always have a great time, but like be initial like just going at somebody Like I'm like if I want to come out of the gates and make fun of them I almost have to have to look over of like I know it's so difficult what you're doing right now.

1:12:21I'm in a comedy under the stress of how big that show is now The first time they've ever come on stage So we're some guys the first time they ever went on stage. They went on stage in Madison Square Garden. Yeah It's been thousand people and they followed dice Like yeah, what are you talking about? Look at your phone for notes hang on Madison Square Garden You barely can get to the one minute mark What you practice in the mirror is just everything's falling apart. Oh, yeah, the running at a time That was the funniest. Oh Like well, this is three minutes of material or 30 seconds. It doesn't go the way I think cricket cricket Jesus panic isn't that the biggest Uh To me I felt like the biggest milestone In comedy the action of it.

1:13:09I mean was a not being afraid of quiet like the crowd being dead silent Even if I said something that I thought was funny and they're still dead silent and that not being Like frazzling. No, we're right. I don't get shaken by that. That's common. It's from a lot of big sets A lot of sets where he killed so you like I know I'm good That's what it is it has to believe thing. It's like uh, I haven't it's also like uh, I haven't conveyed it right then Yeah, like it's me probably but like they're not just getting what I'm thinking if they if they just saw my thoughts right now they'd get How funny this is well here's a thing too The you know, you're gonna run into a jazz crowd every now and then you know sure like when you go to see music You go to see a band you go to see rock and roll you go to whatever club you're gonna go you go to the whiskey It's rock band.

1:13:54You know, we know we're gonna go see this blues guy We know we're gonna see a country guy you go see comedy you could get Taylor Swift you could get ACDC you get anything you can get all kinds of shit You can get the pixies you can get all kinds of shit when you go see comedy It's there's so many different styles to call it one thing. It's kind of weird and you could You could be a rock and roll guy and you're on stage in front of a jazz crowd. Oh, yeah And they don't want your bullshit. They don't like how loud you're being. Why are you moving so much? No, it's what why you're just snicker, you know, I stopped putting in at one point for the The small room at the stand when I was in town for the weekends Because and this is no fault of There's I know they're just booking me because I'm home and they want me on the shows that I can do But they would put those shows they would book the um With the The tiktok like celebrity girls Like girl comics that look brand new In comedy but drew the audience and they were and they were also young enough in comedy that they're posting their spots Oh my god, you know, I mean like they're if you want to see my schedule is like here So the room is filling up for them and I go up and I mean the second I get on stage you'd see the face and groans of like just like Uh -huh man's gonna come what laid out now and I would even try to play with that Idea, you know, I mean like explain what's going on in the room and they would just They and then my last one ever doing up there.

1:15:19There was an Asian girl in the front row that I was Fucking with like going back and forth her but she was great She was like into it. She was laughing and she was a busting balls back a little bit, which was fine You know assuming she was kind of like playing around with it and then I see another girl's You know 22 years old or whatever 23 going and they were phone and I was like oh, I lost you already I go I lost you and she goes Maybe there's something to do with the Asian girl thing And I was like what do you call her Asian girl I was like wait, but she's fine. I go are you you're getting upset On her behalf and she's fine and she was like yeah And I was like that's retarded and then a lady in the back of the room stood up lady a girl and literally clutched her Jacket together and went you just said the R word and I went the manager was in the room and I was like You take me off the schedule for the rest of this weekend up here.

1:16:15I go I'm not even mad at this crowd. I'm like They you have to give this crowd what they would if you put on a three -week open mic gay comic up here right now He'd murder Like read the room of what you're booking. You know, I mean it's like you have to see what's happening It's like you're putting me up there This isn't fun for me and it's not fair to that like right you've they've been sold to show that's not what I do Right, so I don't have a you kind of like gripe on them. Just like don't put me on those shows Yeah, you should be on that show You're you're making up your old your audience is actually Gonna like the club less because they think I'm the piece of shit that's always here But then there's another argument where you got to kind of do all kinds of crowds or because if you only do your own crowd like one of the things that happens to guys Is they start doing theaters and they do real well and then they bring a lame opening act and then they're only playing to their crowd Oh, yeah, and you see the drop off you see this like weird creativity drop off You see the weird impact and not killing his heart.

1:17:10Everything's a little fake and forced and it's it's pretty noticeable and normal It's like normal. It happens a lot if you're not doing clubs Well, it's gonna say if you're in theaters years of your remove from the audience you got to mix it up You have to be doing little little room sometimes. I think it's like if you're an athlete you have to lift weights You know, I mean, I think there's there's something to that. Oh, yeah, I like to go Uh Do crowds that aren't my crowds plenty, you know, I mean, I mean, uh, but I mean just different sizes too, right? Like oh, yeah without a doubt. Yeah, sometimes like one of the great things about the store was like you could come in there on an Off -night like a Tuesday night and do like a 1 a .m.

1:17:47Set When you're doing a 1 a .m. Set, there's like 25 fucking people in the room And you you just like you get to and they've seen everything they've seen five hours of fucking stand up They came from Kansas. They've seen five hours of comedy and most of the audience has gone. It's a shame From a comics perspective any of them a business perspective. It's great, but like the comedy seller Like it's funny for people to not even know anymore or remember there was a time when I got into the comedy seller There was still when you went on at two o 'clock in the morning There could be 15 people in the audience right now.

1:18:19It's Show let's people out another show another show so it's like it's uh, it's always sold out and packed But like there was something to that was kind of like that was the training ground I go up after David tell almost every night of the week In front of 15 people was like that was great training. You do need that for sure And you and I still need that it's it's not so much that I'm just saying the I said take me out of that room because it's always this audience and it's just like You're putting them through a thing. They don't need to be put through Right. I'm just gonna go downstairs. It isn't my audience either I'm just like just put me in the room where it's not been sold as this one thing right Well, that's that's a problem with like some clubs that have restrictions on what you could say on the stage Like why no, no, no, you just can't book this guy right like there's a club.

1:19:04Where is it and Is it in Portland or Seattle or some club that these guys got to Duncan got to and he sent me a photo of a list of all the things that you can't talk about we don't tolerate at this club We don't tolerate racism sexism Transphobia like okay whenever it's the one that uh Like I don't know what it is. We don't probably don't even say need to say the name. Oh, I don't know the name of the people in trouble I don't know the name of the place, but there was a just don't book people Know what the fuck they do and don't book anybody that's not you if you have a specific crowd you're trying to cater to that's your progative no problem with that sure Book the comedians that fit don't don't like have a list of shit someone can't say once they get there like that Assume that if you're booking somebody though that you'd have to put those rules for it's like you have to like I always like that thing.

1:19:56It's like trust the comic to be like a professional not that they'll always come through in that regard, but like You know, you could put me on stage anywhere and assume it's not gonna end with me being in a fuck you fuck you with the audience I mean like we'll get out of it. Right you'll have a relatively pleasant. Well, you're a guy that's very flexible on stage Which is just a huge benefit? You can always fuck around with people and engage with the crowd Like you're so good at it. You're one of the best in the business at it for sure You're really good at it, but it's also fun and joeville.

1:20:25You know how to tie it all together That's a giant skill if you're doing a bunch of different kinds of rooms and different kinds of places But when when a club owner or someone says that you can't breach certain topics Because that's what you're saying if you're saying we don't tolerate racism Listen, I don't either, but that's not what jokes are and there's a way to Touch on race that a super ultra sensitive person would say is racism and Another person who's more objective would say no This is just making fun of the differences We all have and how crazy it is that we would think that anyone is superior to the others There's ways to do that and to say that, you know, that's racist.

1:21:05We don't tolerate racism I'm like well, it wouldn't you did what do you call it? So you can't just define what that you can't define hate speech Because that's your definition that you force me to go with your definition. Yeah, I can't be opinion based I can't so you just got to let people Speak freely and then you decide who you book or don't book, but know what the fuck they do That's part of your job Porto your job as someone who books a fucking theater is okay if you have the theater you own the theater You don't want anybody come performing that doesn't meet your expectations. That's great One of the funniest things is I'm always blown away, but is the people in the audience who Are hating the show which is fine.

1:21:49That happens, you know, some people come and they didn't know what they were coming to Sure go from the contract. Yeah, yeah, which I also tend to like take their side if I see that happening I try to do that. I'm like, why do you make you come to you know, why do you put you through this kind of thing? Yeah, is how I will usually approach that but when you see those faces when they if someone like that gets shitty And stuff. It's fun. I'm always surprised how Aggressive they are when they realize that they're the The minority right, you know, I mean it's like I don't know because you're you suck and you're not funny It's such a funny thing to shift.

1:22:22How much you can make that person an enemy of the room by just going She's saying all of you are stupid as shit Because you're laughing at it. Then just they'll hate her for you Well, there's always gonna be a you suck and you're not funny person in the world Yeah, well, that's a skill you have to get that poor girl that poor girl and uh That had the video of her skits and that on the guy in the audience. Oh, yeah Um, that was that was on people piled on on her, which was actually fucked up. Well, she's gonna be death threatening Why would you death threatens? I wouldn't have had a bad time on stage.

1:22:53It just seems weird But she but again, that's the that's the situation of Getting an audience Before you're ready to handle all situations because the the thing about that was the heckle in that video is I mean heckling 101 like the thing you should be able to handle is someone going you're not funny I'm funny you want me to tell the joke like give me the microphone This is all like you I said these are the lobs. They throw you at a pitching track You know it but batting practice to fucking do crowd work like this day one of karate. Yeah, it's like they're saying you suck and you're not funny Yeah, come on You know the right away you could see him.

1:23:28He's right in the front. Yeah, like you could pick him apart Visually or ask him a few questions make him look dumb. There's just ways to like but She wasn't composed because she was leaning into that with like why got this whole crowd behind me But it just looks like a lunatic like when she put it out to the world Everyone's like you're crazy and this crowd put it out herself. Yes, that's the only reason I thought it was fair to talk about You know, yeah Well, you know if it was someone filming her and being like look at this dumb bitch or something I would be I don't know if I would have went at it because I'd be like I would if I talked about it I would be like it's fucked up that somebody did that like you're posting her fucking although that said I mean, I've watched Pablo Francisco fall off stage 7 ,000 times What's that what's that sir?

1:24:11What's that said need to pull? Yeah, I've seen that too Poor Pablo So funny motherfucker um, yeah, man, the thing about that girl's like She ran into all of the fuck you. You're not funny people in the world Like see if you have a crowd of 200 people and you got one fuck you. You're not funny girl That's one thing, but if you scale that out to the entire internet that is so many fuck you You're not funny people and those are the ones are gonna comment You know, there's a plenty of people that saw that video like you and me who are like oh god, but you didn't Comment no, so who's commenting the fuck you you're not funny people.

1:24:50Yeah, so when there's 30 million people see in a video you're gonna get 13 ,000 plus fuck you You're not funny people who post constantly. No, he's gonna post 10 15 times They're gonna be arguing with people in the comments telling you how you should kill yourself Yeah, yeah, you got a hide you can't and most people don't most people go online and they read all the things like oh my god What are they saying about me? You gotta just get off line. Well, then there was another I think an Asian girl doing an open mic who they had a video her like throwing shit around and smashing stuff and Well, she's fighting the patriarchy Letter letter lash out, but just I almost wonder remember that was the fear They were like people try to create viral moments.

1:25:29So heckling will become like people go to comedy clubs Like I'm gonna heckle and make a moment. Yeah, it's also a thing about like comics. They're just trying to find a Like a loser shit moment on stage. Also, you know, I mean like Yeah, we're like look at not even for a thing not trying to not keep it funny, but like let me let me go viral go at somebody like really hard You know, I mean, yeah, well some some people are just socially retarded and they think they're really good at it And they're just not they're not really good at communicating. They think they are and then they're screaming at the fucking The fake anger is hilarious fake anger is the best especially when it's a joke It's been told for like 10 years and you know you can't be pissed about this.

1:26:08You know what the craziest viral moment was ever in comedy Heather McDonald making jokes about vaccines and then blacking out blacking out and banging her head I only say this because she's okay, but I think she cracked her skull. I think she fractured her skull I mean her head fucking bounces off that hard stage and it looked to the audience like this was like a pratfall This is a part of the bit the timing was so good that it looked like a bit. Yeah, she was talking about and then they were like oh Oh my god, she really did just black out. Yeah, they almost laughed for a second like okay, Heather.

1:26:42That's plenty That's good historians will study that video They will but not believe they might be proof of the simulation that video might be proof of the simulation Oh, it just doesn't make sense. It's like unless god has some amazing sense of humor Some amazing sense of humor. That's a good uh My favorite my favorite uh a stage moment on Still that classic is it before YouTube and stuff the uh The look at these biceps guy at the Boston comedy club Did you ever see it? No, what happened? It's it's an open mic He's definitely you find out through the video he's getting heckled by a girl who also went on stage But she did well, you know, she has her friends there clearly and So she did well and this guy's just like his comedy is all written He came out of the gates You know when you kind of fake alpha on stage right away.

1:27:34Oh, no, so he's just he's got these jokes. It's like ones like a racist joke Uh, he tells us at one point and it's just his whole personality is just he gives off a bad vibe for sure So he sucks and this girl in the audience sucks and when he can't take any more of her heckling He just goes. He's just something about you can't even get a girl. He goes you think I can get a girl Look at these biceps and it's so it's such a break and he means it He may if you look up look at these biceps. You'll find it pretty easy. It's so old But this is the old Boston comedy club in the village. Oh, that's funny.

1:28:06That place was great place was yeah this guy Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh he looks crazy You think I can meet girl

1:28:27What years that from it looks like the 90s. Yeah, I found this it's over 10 years old. So it's yeah, it's uh, it's That looks like it's late 90s or early 2000s Android phone actually no actually no it wasn't it was 2000s because it was called comedy village That point still they changed the name. So it was the early 2000s. So that's the old Boston comedy club Wow I was working in that place back when Neil Brennan was a door guy. Yeah, yeah, I became friends with Neil when he was a door guy It's hilarious Kevin was already rolling Kevin Brennan. I don't know I don't Kevin Brennan was yeah, he was around then.

1:29:03I think he was already doing stand -up Well Kevin was the first one. Yeah to do stand -up. Oh for sure. Yeah, he was definitely way before Neil And then Neil, yeah, yeah, that place was a great club. That's where the one first was. What a great little club That was the Barry Katz all the clients worked there. Were you a Barry Katz client? No, never. Steered clear I've been no, I just been in the same manager since I was an open -micro no shit. Yeah, wow back in Boston Well, he found me in Boston. He was in New York guy. That's why I moved to New York. No shit. Yeah, I wasn't even supposed to go on stage that night Oh, so lucky because I would have panicked and I would have choked I didn't know he was in the room.

1:29:37I had no idea So he had come he was he used to manage Bob Nelson member Bob Nelson. Yeah, hell yeah, so Bob Nelson It's Philly guy I believe he became very Christian and he was gonna have his his bible partner His his guy become his manager. He had this guy that there were brothers in Christ And so Susman was looking for new clients and he thought he saw everybody that he could see in New York at the time And so he had a good friend that was taking a trip to Boston and so he went with him And he said I'm gonna you know set up some Shows at some of these comedy clubs. So they had all the local Boston headliners like big name guys from the town would all perform for him and I was working driving limos at the time and I while I was driving I would come up with some of my best ideas sometimes because you know I didn't listen to the radio just drive because you you couldn't listen to the radio way at clients Yeah, and so some of my best ideas came from just driving around I had this fucking idea.

1:30:36I'm like, oh my god. I think this would work And so I called up my friend who was the manager and I said hey, dude Do you think I could get a guest spot tonight? And he's like yeah, absolutely So he hooks me up. I have no idea. I go downstairs This guy who becomes my manager is walking out of the room to go to another club, which is down the street And he hears me killing And so he comes back downstairs and he watches my whole set and I would have never done what I did. How did you do a comedy at this point? Three years That's fast. Yeah three years. So um But I was pretty I had some good sex jokes I had some great jokes that would kill and I would have never done them if he was in the room Oh, because everybody had to be clean back then.

1:31:20That was like you got to be clean. You got to be clean And I was like you had good success in like acting stuff was that your when you got into it was I know when I got into my thought was interesting Was I started to do stand -up comedy it took me a long time to realize that and I love broadcasting I think it scratches the same itch for me Broadcasting is what I didn't never got into it to act or all these different other things So but as soon as you get into it especially when you have a manager You just see the industry unfold you see everyone's like you don't have a commercial agent You got to go out and audition for commercial that all these things that I was like supplementary That I was like yeah instead of doing that.

1:31:55I'm just going to keep doing the black circuit because like make some money there like I was getting a couple bucks You know enough to survive On shows and that and then I'll just go hang out the mainstream rooms You know at night and meet all the comics and get on when I can get on but like it was never I like this never like I would not go so many times the pandemic. I don't fucking yeah I did a couple of words. I don't want it And I ended up sitting on this show for two years and it was a great experience in hindsight but like What showed you gonna? It's called z -rock. It was a IFC show. It was great about it for me was because It was the curb enthusiasm style writing.

1:32:29So we get to see whatever we wanted really and it was cursing And there was no problems with that So there was a very fun show to do in that regard, but it's getting just wasn't my Wasn't your thing in fact when I When I was doing it I would still go like three of the nights a week We do five shows every other night I would still go do a spot to sell or and she was giving me two a .m. Spots And I have to be on set at seven a .m. You know six a .m. Sometimes And when they would get like you know, I would take naps in between like scenes or whatever And they would be like, why are you going and doing like stand up so late?

1:33:03I'm like, oh because this show will not be forever And there's 50 people waiting to jump in my spot there Yeah, I mean, I'm I'm I'm established there right now. So it's like I when this goes away That's the things still going to be there. Yeah, and so I definitely made sure I said but also I didn't want to really be an actor Well in the 90s it was just a money thing, you know, it was Everybody there was two things that everybody wanted as if you were a comic deal No, you wanted to be the head of a sitcom or you wanted to host the tonight show Those are the two things that everybody wanted which is why Jay Leno People to this day don't understand like why did Jay Leno want the tonight show so bad That he was like hiding in the closet and you know that whole story where they're negotiating Yeah, yeah, and you know, he just they scratched and clawed and everybody was mad at him because he took it from Conan Remember that like went because he went back because Conan's ratings weren't as good The all that craziness was that was the golden carrot at the end of the stick everybody want like so in our minds Everybody wanted to host the tonight show or you wanted to be Jerry Seinfeld Yeah, so that was what you got like and so these people came there and that's all the industry talked about because that's where all the money was That's what your agent wanted you to do that's where all the money was and everybody's just pushing you in that direction Well, yeah, that's what it is.

1:34:16It was like it was a push in that direction because it was like you're But it's an antiquated idea that comes from the time of like Every one in entertainment was like a triple threat. I watched something a while ago that was like a Jamie Foxx How but you're right, but even go back to like The Sinatra's and they said a Barney Miller how Lyndon there's videos of him like Singing on he went on like talk shows and as a singer wow because everyone had to like dance you were like a showman Right, there was no like a focus in one direction. Yeah, so the ideals the idea that you were like I I came in a comedy as a mega fan of stand -up comedy I loved all of it.

1:34:55I didn't even like draw lines on you know the people I like more than others And dice was my guy for sure when I was 1213. I just hit him at the right time. Yeah, that I loved that But I was such a fan of stand -up that when I got in a stand -up I only saw like now I didn't know what the path was to Selling out comedy clubs or theaters or anything like that But that's all it was I didn't get into this and I was like oh, and then I'll have a sitcom and I then you get told right away Like you started in 90 uh 97 okay, so maybe 98 that was like the peak of the sitcom days That was friends that was sign that was everything was still on the air back then right sign fell We had when what year did sign felt end?

1:35:40I want to say that was like 2000. No 98 98 98 98 Yeah Yeah Okay, and then there's friends which kept going a little while longer right You know, and then there was like Caroline in the city. There was like all these shows that everybody was like That was the goal the goal was to get on a show and everybody wanted and everybody got a network deal And they were handing out deals where you would get like a couple hundred grand You didn't have to do anything and they never even made a show and then you get another deal next year There's a bunch of guys who were always having deals in that A lot of those people when I got in the comedy I'd see those people like Chessed out at the comic strip.

1:36:24Oh, yeah, but then but then Never heard of again. Nothing. I mean, I wouldn't name it But I mean like it was just it was just weird to see people that were like oh, they just got their second deal Would then be see holding deal or yeah, or they were convinced who's gonna go they would tell you like I got a million dollar backup deal and nothing that so they have to do my show. It's gonna be on the air You should play my brother and then it doesn't it's such a Well, you see people getting really weird and acting like they're special before they're even famous Sure, you didn't even get on the launching pad yet and you're already acting like a fucking crazy person But also I so I've been doing it long enough to see people kind of go and be like shit The acting thing seems to be going And I'm gonna go to LA or something in entertainment like besides standup is going And they focus on that for a couple years and then nothing really pans out from it And they didn't keep doing standup right and then it come back and try again and then they're confused because I've never had my own sitcom.

1:37:20I've never had anything but like One thing I never stopped doing was like working the whole time still Yeah, so it's like you're building a fan base still When people a lot of people left at a time where it was like oh, this is where you have to start You know, they went to go acting when everyone was like all right. This is its podcast times now and social media times and you have to get all these things going Um And you connect with the audience and stuff and keep performing and like they went away and then come back and it's hard to start again It's real hard. They saw a lot of guys during the writer's strike try to do it again Because there's a few of those guys that are really good that are just writers And they become they become trapped in that velvet prison of getting that you know, you make good money You got a great health plan.

1:38:03You got a nice house got a mortgage Maybe start having kids and you're not really a comic anymore Now you're working on a sitcom or you're writing and the problem is You don't have a backup plan anymore because you can't just go on the road anymore because you don't have a fucking audience Right, so all those other guys that you came up with that kept their comedy up during that whole time Those guys can still tour like fit Simmons was very smart about it Like fits him as did a lot of writing gigs, but he never stopped doing stand so phone never stopped doing stand I mean he always kept getting better and so like when writer strikes and things like that happen Greg's fine Like he sells out all over the country.

1:38:39He doesn't have to worry about it But it's because he's smart and because he like saw the writing on the wall like I'm not falling into this trap Well, it's a matter of what you want to do when you woke up in the mornings to go do knows news radio Were you like thrilled going to work every day or did it? What did it? Did it? No news radio was really fun It was really fun. It was great. It was really fun It was a it was a real fun like environment. We had a good time the writers were amazing It was like perfect best -case scenario for sitcom and there was the second sitcom I was on the first one.

1:39:13I was on was like worst -case scenario not worst But started off great. Well, it was on the show called hard hardball with Jim Brewer Jim Brewer was he played one of the rival Maskots and he gets beat up. It's Jim was so funny. It was so funny It was a real funny pilot and it was written by these guys who worked on married with children and they worked on the Simpsons They were really funny writers Jeff Martin and Kevin current and these guys put together this really funny show and then the network Did up they just They just gizzed into the soup. It was a mess They brought in a bunch of people that shouldn't have been there and a bunch of the show fell apart And but I got I got to watch like these brilliant really funny guys get their work Just shit all over by the network and have it fall apart and become just a joke Could you have been roped into stopping stand -up?

1:40:07Like not doing a stand -up to in the to go in the full time like no no no from sitcom to sitcom But one thing that I did do for sure is I neglected my stand -up for a few years When I was doing news radio all the time the problem was in news radio in the early days They were really long hours Because we were trying to figure the show out and you know There was a lot of network notes back in those days and you know The network was really behind it But it wasn't it wasn't owned by NBC. It was it was produced by brilstein Gray So you know if you wanted to be on the good slots, right? So they would what Paul Sims would call Paul Sims is the creative news radio would call it the shit sandwich So you'd have friends and married with children and in between you'd have like kind of cock -ass sitcoms Like a shit sandwich It's a bit we got in those spots Occasionally and every time we did we're like number two in the country and number three or something But then we'd drop down like number 80 because we got moved like nine different times over five years nine times over five years So the show didn't really become successful until it went into syndication nice So it was one of those weird things, but I never I auditioned for two shows ever I auditioned for that hardball show.

1:41:15I got that that got canceled and auditioned for news radio That was it really it was the nuttiest thing of all time. So I didn't Wanted it just happened So it wasn't something like it was my golden carrot my golden carrot was just I wanted to be a professional comic Right, and then I as I was like barely making money as a professional comic barely surviving all the sudden They're like we'll pay you $25 ,000 a week. I was like what do I have to do? Well, they got to act okay now I'm acting and I would have moved back to New York 100 % if I didn't get an apartment So I I signed a one -year lease on this apartment in North Hollywood and so I was staying I was like I got to stay because I wanted to just go back to New York and play pool and hang out my friends I didn't like it in LA.

1:41:55It wasn't my cup of tea. I didn't like being around actors And it was hard to make friends with some of the comedians and the comedy store was weird back then So I was like I was ready to go back to New York and I had this fucking lease So I was like I can't break the le - I don't have that kind of money. I'll go to keep this lease going So I stayed there and then I got news radio like right afterwards, which is great. It was crazy That's a whirlwind for sure. It is funny though. It's like Just that lead of that like that you're supposed to do like I to me it was sitting For whatever the 10th time You know thing I'm watching especially actors like walking back and forth Like how serious they're taking getting there and I'm just like holding the sides barely and I'm like What's like three lines?

1:42:36We got to say like relax and I didn't book stuff But it's also just like as I'm sitting there like I don't know if I want to be the Yeah, you know that they tried in cinnamon gum guy I just don't like it's like if you get it. It's almost like fantastic You know like that's great, but if you get it it's extra money sure But then once you get all the extra money you don't have to really do that anymore And that's when you got to decide like what he like one of the things that I had to decide after I did fairfactor I was like okay no more of that please Yeah, I did it one more time. I did it one more time when in 2011 fairfactor came back for a brief amount of time And that's when they made people drink kids That's what I got canceled forever I tell ludicrous game back and did it on MTV No jizz those then the no jizz rules they tone you down back then, but it was Is it just like it there's a different thing that's happening when you're doing something just for money You know you just like okay, it's worth it.

1:43:29It's worth it for this amount of money and then You got to know What to do with that money, but I used to plan plan your escape. I used to have to like Like talk myself into like when I would get those we're like talking head shows I think on history channel. We did like I love they were trying to do like a spoof of I love the 80s And I love the 90s. They would do like I love the 1880s Or I love the 1890s or whatever and they would give us like history stories and write jokes You're gonna talking head things and I would look at it as the burden of that next day I'm gonna wake up at 8 to go into the city and like To do this thing.

1:44:05It's never I look at all the stuff And I'm like it's it's network. It's history channel. So it's like you can't really do exactly what it is I do and then Because I'm gonna go as close as I can to my own voice that like it's probably not gonna get a lot of stuff on anyway Yeah, and but I really commits myself like you know There was a kid across the street from me When I lived in South Jersey for the couple years who was in a fruit loops commercial I said and he and he must have he might as well been Brad Pitt You know, I mean like wake to me. I was like he's been on television and I'm like Think I'm going to do a TV show tomorrow history channel anything if you told me when I was 12 13 years old That hey, you want to do a TV should be on TV on the history channel.

1:44:44You'd be like no TV Is that possible? You know, so you have to remember that it is pretty like Extraordinary to have some of these opportunities, but man So I try to take them in when I have them. I did I wasn't the movie hustlers As the strip club DJ. What is hustlers? It's uh, it's a it's a the shoe story of the girls at scores who were like rock the strippers It were robbing guys really when did that movie come out a couple years back down, but uh Shit, maybe like seven years six seven years ago But I was the strip club DJ and that and like I really had to Go because I look at that in hindsight of it.

1:45:17It's like it was two 14 hour days of like nothing so much nothing going on Right, you just waiting around yeah, and just whiffing when I had these opportunities But I'm also trying to take in I'm like holy shit. That's usher over there. And that's fucking J. Let's say as I'm sitting here like What's it? When do you guys need me again? It's like J. Lo's in a thong like you know twerking on stage Like doing her scene and you're like, oh, I should really enjoy some of you know, I mean J. Lo was on stage twerking Yeah, I introduced her her what year was this? Do you know J. How uh 2018 maybe yeah, my voice opens this scene Damn, is that really J.

1:45:58Lo? Yeah, it's so this is her earlier 10 years ago 50 years old Not then she was yep, 50 on set. Yeah, wait a minute. How old is she now? You said this is two thousand what two thousand when two thousand nine 1918 was she really 50 back then yeah God six years ago. She's not 56. It doesn't 19 Okay, how old is J. Lo? She's 56. I guess no Is she really? Whoa, that's crazy. Yeah, bro. What is she doing? I don't know, but she looked fantastic I really shine the light on this girl's narrow this girl's narrow Asian ass really shine the light on that It almost when they were choreographing them together on stage.

1:46:46It looked so It looked so shitty that Yeah, she looks great. That's incredible Good for her. She seemed nice. I tried to talk to her once and I whiffed hard did you I just get panicked I planned to thought you could be number six. I planned what I was gonna say That's the problem was what oh you did. Yeah, how bad I it was bad I said when she Next time she turns around because she seems nice. She's gonna like at some point She's gonna talk to me. We're doing this one scene together where she hands me money And I say like align and every time the yoke cut she put a robe on turn around Talk to her assistant, but I'm like she does seem nice and she's gonna turn around and ask me some version of how you doing Right, and I'm gonna say I you know, I'm just living the life of a fake strip club DJ And that's gonna make her giggle and then we're best friends for life And instead of waiting for her to say anything the next time she is her eyes just cross my eyes I went live in the life fake strip club DJ like father face And she was like excuse me and I was like oh, and then her assistants are laughing at me And then I demanded to go outside to get a soda they were like we'll get you a soda I'm like, please let me go outside and reset this moment.

1:47:53I hate this Yeah, you can't have a diva roller eyes at you that'll fuck your confidence up No matter who you are. No, Jennifer Lopez rolls her eyes at you. That's hurt so much. How is she looks so good? I don't know she really did. It's pretty extraordinary It's that thing was it's a person that's in a room and you're like all celebrities here. I could give that off Right, but it's like think of her beauty and then that other lady that you said that did a bunch of shit to her face Probably the same age right? Oh, yeah, and that crazy. It is crazy. You know, it's awesome that movie by the way A young only one song out Lizzo and everyone was so excited for her And I didn't know she was and they go they were talking about the celebrities.

1:48:35They're gonna be there today And she's playing a stripper and I was like hmm. I'm wondering who it is and then Hours later my next question was I'm like Who's the big Just a fat stripper wearing the fishnet outfit and they're like that's Lizzo. Yeah, it's like that's Lizzo's like Christ almighty What are they making her do that? And again, it's my own fat and security that I put out on other people almost like I said that guy earlier Who's like the robe open just gotta be guys? I'm impressed I'm impressed because what I have is much more which I always found interesting Chris Farley You know these most there's most no famous thing ever is the chip and Dale sketch right with Patrick Swayze I've always thought and I just know this from I'm good friends with his brother and and From years of reading stuff about like that's if you want to trickle back what killed them Essentially that do you know I mean it's like he hated he was willing to do it like I'll be the fat gross guy But he hated it.

1:49:32He didn't want everyone to think he was like fat and gross So I it's like I have a hard time with like with those kind of things So I'm impressed also with someone who's like Ladies, you know with like they're fucking Fat rolls on their sides welcome to the party. Well, it's how do you do it man? And Lizzo just like Fuck it. I'm wearing a thong like don't you don't have to it's one of those things where it's like you want to celebrate People that don't care like yeah you go, but also yikes Yeah, it's also yikes. It's always lies too by the way. She's lost on her pants Well also remember when she was accused of fat shaming all the girls that she worked with and making them Making hookers.

1:50:10Yeah, making each trooper pussy and shit. Yeah, like whatever whatever was going down Whatever she was accused of. I don't know what's real, but it's like The Chris Farley thing. I never would have imagined that he hated doing that. Oh, yeah No, he loved making people laugh, but he hated that it was at the expense I don't think I'm speaking out of school here. There's that uh Um, but it never seemed like that's that stuff did bother I think he wanted he wanted girls to like him. He wanted uh You know what I mean? So that's why you got big the drugs. Are you basing this on conversations? You've had with people that know him or like conversations that I've watched so much stuff like uh on him Yeah, yeah, and you could see like you know they again is people reading in this stuff and sure But yeah, but I think also from talking to his brother and stuff.

1:50:49I'm in a conversation I met him once when he was in the throes of it really yeah There's a couple of people that I met where their skin looked like wet cardboard Like it was the consistency of wet like gray cardboard. Yeah, like sweaty gray cardboard So he was uh on the set hanging out there was always like a lot of fun people that were on the set that you got to meet And uh, he wasn't working on the show. He was just there to hang out and so um I ran into him like during the craft service table area and he was just looked terrible And I don't know like what year did he die I think late 90s also So this was around 97 -ish somewhere around then so news radio was 94 to 99 In the summer week before Christmas.

1:51:42That's when he died 33 so it might have been the year he died Yeah, I mean he looked like hell he looked like he was just so sweaty and so gray You just look fucked up The one of the time there was a dude that I ran into at um the improv and he couldn't form sentences He had like the same gray skin and he was talking to me But nothing made sense, but he just kept talking and he could he couldn't form sentences and I was like this is the craziest thing I've ever seen It's also weird to get into that and then still be around comedy just be around public You're hanging around with people at a bar and you you you're so gacked up.

1:52:22You can't even form a sentence I have a hard time with the I mean I can't I so I can get caught up in like the The dramatic conversation of like the the science of comedy and like the all the internal things and the manipulation of it But the end of the day it's so silly when like It's taken so seriously in some way too. It's like it's not like But you know unlike Daniel Day Lewis who has to be Lincoln all day someone can go Jay they're calling your name on stage and you can go up I don't have to like find my place, you know, I mean like oh I'm not even For some, you know, oh hang on okay, you know you just go on stage and be like shit I didn't know they were calling me sorry everybody, but also you're doing sets multiple times at night You're doing multiple sets a week.

1:53:04You're so comfortable being on stage. It's not like action Right, you know you're Lincoln go Yeah You mess up a line they got to go change the gate They got to do a bunch of fucking things. Yeah, and there's always someone who wants to come in and touch up your hair And then there's fucking people moving around and there's always some so many support people It's hard to just like keep your fucking concentration Some people like being dote it on dance soda. I've always been he likes acting and and not even just acting He likes the day he takes the day in the trailer and he said he'll write jokes and You know do whatever happy dude Seems like he's always happy.

1:53:43It's hard to imagine him being even angry Like he was talking to me about somebody who ripped off one of his jokes And even that the way he's talking about the guy ripping off his joke and confronting him about ripping off the joke It's still he's like silly. Yeah, yeah, he's being silly and laughing about it. I'm like wow Oh, he's the best for sure demeanor. So that's like a glass is always half full guy He's he's fine with doing a little acting here, but if you you know, what he wants to do is stand up He's a great state. No, no, he's great stabbing. He does want to do stabbing. He wants to make shows.

1:54:11He's got a lot of Interest that I think will be great at all them. I'm just saying more like You know, I'm losing my trade. Well, it's he's don't have to do all that other stuff And the thing is like back in the 90s we all thought we had to do that other stuff I would have never imagined like quitting a TV show and just so I could do stand up on the road First of all, you needed the TV show so people would come to see you That was people the that was a big thing back then people came to see you if you were on the tonight show Or if you had an HBO special or if you had a sitcom like that was it that's why I was so so impressive person like Like Regan.

1:54:46Yes, I'll just gonna bring him up. Yeah, you did it Straight through comedy just organ and got the theaters. Yep huge theaters. It sells out instantly just because he's so good You know, it's fine the quietest the people who were the most surprising. There's Huge earning comics that We've you've never even heard of and stuff. I always look about like Sean de Pierce is a lady Just like a lit an old lady from the south, but she's multi -millionaire sells out She performs it like churches and stuff really yeah, but it's just stand up and it's just like The most mundane But I guess it's not for me obviously, but I mean with this Kind of whatever, you know like act the you know wouldn't impress anybody.

1:55:32She's making millions Christian comedies a tough sell Yeah, well, but there's a market for it for sure as a market for it I remember there was a bunch of people that went into Christian comedy That there was like a Christian comedy tour back in like yeah, it was terrible It was terrible to want to go to that seems born even if you were religious like we don't want to go watch religious comedy But it was like the most aw shucks stupid shit About like the guy's dumb and my wife always tells me I'm dumb and she's right It's why Nate Barghets. He's so impressive to me and always has been is because he's cleaning that way You can call him a Christian comic and it doesn't matter because If you just watch the comedy if you're not listening to all the labels being put on them, right?

1:56:11He's just brilliant Yes, it's great and more than brilliant hilarious fucking hilarious hilarious and squeaky clean Yeah, and you stroll on anywhere in a lineup. Yeah, I just don't worry. Goldman was so impressive in that way too Just didn't have to be dirty like almost like Subjects you were someone said the right to joke by this subject. You're like nah, that's corny. Well gaffing They do it and kill it. Yeah, he's great. Gaffigan's been killing it forever squeaky clean You know, there's you know, there's a market like again, but everyone shouldn't be that right that's the Hannah Gatsby Argument she made it's that's the really Whatever my opinions better comedy are meaningless.

1:56:45It was an article she did where she was like if you're not using Your comedy to like move society forward in some way Yeah, like you're wasting time basically like you like you need to come and talk about your rape or you're wasting time to Comity and it's like or did I just you're not being personal? I go So you're saying like David tell Brian Regan carrot top you're saying people just shouldn't be in comedy because there are different Like faction of it than you that's insane It's insane and god forbid if everybody started doing Hannah Gatsby style of quality she's fucked She's not gonna be the best at it You know, I mean, it's like why you welcome it's like why don't you stay keep your lane and be happy About comedy like You should be funny first if you want to do all that other stuff too But if you want to do all that all that other stuff and you call it comedy, but it's not funny Like you're doing something where you're just trying to educate people Hey, that you missed the whole mark of this whole thing and to say that that's the most important thing the only people that would say that Are people aren't funny?

1:57:44Yeah, that's it. That's the only people that would ever think that the most important thing is to move social justice forward With your comedy if somebody told me I made them think on stage I go about what about what listen You could be as social just to see as you want you could talk to your phone You can make long rants on reels you could do podcasts you could do whatever you want talk about issues But when you're on stage what you're supposed to be doing is be funny now if you can be funny with some sort of grand message It makes everybody billhicks clap at you great But that's not the goal the goal is to just be funny And if that's your goal you want to be funny with a social justice great Nothing wrong with it, but you got to be funny and you can't like fake it and get clapped Er and think you're anything I would even say with passion on stage I could end just as easily by going or not You know, or maybe I'm completely wrong.

1:58:35I don't know definitely how the fuck would I remember guys would do this when they were bombing Hey, how about a nice round of pause for the ladies Give it round of pause for the ladies in the crowd There's a go how many at the in the black comedy circuit it was uh Those are the funniest how many they would give you goes how about for the ladies How about for a brother doing the right thing staying out of jail doing the right thing trying to do the right thing Yeah, they get claps. Yes. Yes, and then it was positive energy But we all in your way, but we all use some question that I went I think so Oh, I mean not just because I was like, you know Obviously inspired by like the dices and stuff with the comics that I like the dirtier guys But I would go dirty because I found that pretty early if you go dirty Even if you don't get the laugh because the joke wasn't good you're gonna get the grown and it was a noise Yeah, because that was it to me again.

1:59:16I said the silence was the thing once it was silent I was like someone please save me from this it's going so bad Yeah, if you get a few oh God yeah, at least you're like either with me you can kind of you can kind of laugh that off yourself Yeah, and then if you're laughing genuinely maybe people will start smiling Yeah, it's a fucking weird art form dude but You know Kudos to you for just doing that because that's the way to do it and then Legion of Skanks too Like what what Lewis and you guys and Dave what you guys have done is so interesting because you did it all without ever worrying about being like removed from YouTube You know because you did it all on his network sure cast digital I mean you started a gas digital essentially four Legion of Skanks more or less so smart And it would have like a plot with it.

2:00:01They really can't get rid of yeah because it limits your reach a little bit But over time people figure it out. That's why Skankfest is so fucking huge Skankfest is not stupid. It's fun It's been created in New Orleans this year. Yeah, I should have got in when I could have done it Now it seems like I don't I just I don't like there's too many people I'll get anxiety. There's a lot of people for sure But it's amazing how like you have a blast it's such a celebration of people just being stupid and having fun Absolutely, and it's no like you know, no, and I said they all look the part But they're such great comedy fans and by the way also I mean that in the sense that it's like there's been so many people who have been like Skankfest isn't my thing.

2:00:43I might dude. They're gonna fucking lose their minds for you. Yeah, you don't even know It's like the comedy fans. They're not just like our fans Exclusively. They're also fans of people that are willing to do real comedy in this fucking bizarre world where you're being told that The most important things for you to do social justice on stage Which I shouldn't say that's the world now because that well it's not it was the world like four years ago Four years ago you heard that a lot Oh, yeah, and that's kind of died off and there was a bunch of things that killed that But I think the real nail in the coffin the final one was the Tom Brady roast Yeah, I think that was the grand nail in the cop the coffin of woke comedy Well, yeah to show people was that there was like if you stick with something for a minute like there is an audience there You're just listening to a bunch of lunatic screaming With nothing to do with their lives.

2:01:28It's like but if you give it a second like Conversely of much people were writing their angry about this. There's a bit of zillion people who just like it. Yeah, you can't cater to the people that are upset at what popular Thing there is out there. You're writing a lady cdc like this last record sucked First second song's okay, but second third song blows and the fourth one is like that's the fuck you You're not funny person in the crowd. There's always gonna be a percentage of them There's it's an unavoidable aspect of human nature There's a bunch of people that don't do anything can't contribute and want to knock down everything they see in front of them There's a bunch of people that were born with amazing genetics that just have this superiority over everybody that they believe is real And they you know, especially if you're pretty and everyone wants to fuck you and you think you could yell at anything at the guy on stage Maybe a hate man because your ex -boyfriends a piece of shit and you've had a couple of cocktails and fuck him and fuck this guy Don't fucking say women can't do it.

2:02:22Man can get get down Yeah, it's gonna break down It's the funniest. So I think you're just gonna break down your bit Well, that's the best. I had a lady how come in once where I was trying to explain I was doing this bit about I had a bit about the the guy who broke into the White House because this guy Some fucking maniac broke into the White House He just hopped the fence ran across the lawn and broken and there was a lady guarding the front door And he smacked her to the ground and just ran through the and he got tackled by an off -duty secret service guy I was like getting a cup of coffee and see this fucking guy running through the White House and he tackles him And the joke was about a woman being a security guard at the White House and the joke was supposed to be I know Because guess what I shouldn't be a security guard at the White House I go and you know how I know because I met you kill a Neil and his dick is where my face is There's like if the White House is experiencing a Shack attack.

2:03:14I'm the wrong dude to save the world You know shit So there's the whole joke was about then I couldn't get it out because this lady's like bullshit So the joke was women can't do everything men can do because men can't do everything men can do That's why we have the Olympics There's some people that can just do shit that regular people can't do and one of those things is guarding the fucking White House Like you should be a big fucking giant dude who's capable of extreme violence But this bitch wouldn't let me get this out. It's like And I try to explain her. This is how the joke goes And then I went further into the joke and she chimed in again I explained the joke and then she was what she was like okay I'm like, yeah, I'm saying I can't do it I've gone hard at female cops so much.

2:03:56It's so great when I meet female cops They're like they usually have great sense of humor is about it quite honestly But I will film and send to like Solders who I'll do it to I watch cops Still a lot like clips of the show cops And there was one I watched recently that was just about the It's a female cop I never it's a female cop I'm like I get my phone ready in case I have to film this because I got it's always gonna be something hilarious And they're always in the way somehow or something and it's they're trying to stop this guy You know, he's on foot black dude and his lady's like let me see your ID Let me see your ID right now and then the guy's just slowly backing away And then he just decides to go start running and he runs and this girl is chasing this black guy is so far away from her It's ridiculous and then just coming zipping right past her is a dude cop who just catches the guy and tackles them And then it's the rest of the time it's her standing over breathing hard just like son of a bitch got away And it's like lady what do you do it?

2:04:50What do you do? I saw One time I was waiting inside of a doctor's office in New York and I saw a guy who was naked with his hospital gown on the floor next to him This isn't outside of a hospital by the way just doctors office this guy left the hospital clear He's naked still has his bracelet on he's flapping his dick around So I call the cops and I go hey, I think this is the guy who got out of a hospital here. He's naked and he's Seems pretty unruly. He's like screaming shit. He's being kind of weird and they go Will you stay on the phone with us and let me know when the officers get there? I go sure and then a big NYPD van pulls up and two tiny little ladies get out and I started laughing on the phone I'm like, yeah, I don't think these these ones are gonna be able to handle you I'm gonna send somebody else and they go why go just like two tiny ladies miss and I'm like and this guy's like I'm gonna have to get involved now and I don't want to and then the guy stood up and he's walking towards him and the ladies are like first of all already touching their guns which is like Again, not really necessary the guy's naked.

2:05:52He doesn't have a weapon. But just they're so tiny like how many options do they have? Well, they have to go at them right That's the thing if you're of you're a small woman and a naked guy is coming your way and you don't know how to fight and you have a gun You're grabbing your gun and the guy just went up to them and just stood about Seven feet in front of them and started pissing at their feet And then and then finally another cop car king with a guy who just I mean guy out of the car right away grabbed him by the arms You know, I mean put his arms behind his back and they put the The thing back over him is gown back on him, but it was just like I had a pee He didn't couldn't find his clothes, but it's just so wild that I'm like why are these two a team at all Yeah, I mean, I would like to say that women could do everything men can do But I think in that circumstance you'd probably want a big man Feel police work.

2:06:41That's crazy. You're dealing the one of the scariest videos that I ever saw was this guy This lady pulled him over on the highway and the guy gets out and he's Beating the fuck out of this lady cop and his daughter the guys who's beating the cop his daughter is saying daddy stop Daddy stop because he's just beating the shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, unconscious lady. It's so scary It's so scary because this there's no way she should have been in that situation. There's no way a chubby female cop The boot is the funniest thing like what is happening all the time? What is the problem gonna solve all the time But they're in the way I was at a casino once and this person who I thought Air quotes was a woman and I was talking to and it was a security guard like five foot five Like shorter than me security guard woman.

2:07:35I thought thought was a woman It wasn't disturbed by the fact that she was a security guard none of it right, but then at the end of the night I had been talking to these people, you know, the show was over and I was like well ladies. It was really nice to meet you And she says actually I'm a man And she says it like with a woman's voice, and I said I'm like stuck Or you know, I probably had a couple cocktails just did a show and I probably got a You for sure Like what so I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I didn't know Gave her hug hug to everybody else and I was like I felt proud of myself that I didn't say something You should a nut checker.

2:08:17I was just like you know nut check It's just like you definitely you're not, but you know, whatever like to think that I should have known like that's crazy And I had something to identify as a man. I had something turned on me so bad with that at a not even a mustache at a diner Um It was me Josh had a Myers and uh and my girlfriend went to a concert and went to a diner afterwards And were they set us this diner our table Was facing the booths that are going across And the booth right across where I'm staring is a cute girl And when I thought was a goth guy I thought it was like a goth dude is wearing like kind of fish knit stuff and everything And they are making out hard Up like going they're going for it and I'm like uh You know, we're kind of like laughing it off almost at first.

2:09:09You know like all right. I guess like they're going But then it starts getting like They're like like she's like getting in a position the girl The only girl I thought is getting like the the goth guys these rubbing Like a pussy over the pants and she's like riding around stuff and it's going on Then they stop in a diner. Yeah, then they stop then they start again If the point where I go laughingly though, too, I kind of go all right. Okay, come on And they're like and they're like they have like an oh my god. What the fuck is wrong with you thing Now there's people they're in a booth and we're the only people who see them We're facing them These booths are other people, but they're just not paying attention what's going on there I'm just happening to look at it.

2:09:49I'm like all right and they're like what's the problem and I'm still just kind of laughingly going like I get it, but like you know, I'm doing like a Guys, I'm like you're fucking at the table. I mean like it's crazy. We're the diner and then it's getting shitty About it and then I'm just like I don't know what the problems I'm like that's crazy what you're doing and everything and I'm like we're not wrong here And then she was and then she goes would you have a problem if we were a straight couple and I was like I thought that was I thought that was a guy I said I didn't know it wasn't a straight couple And then uh whatever it all kind of calms down and then our foods coming Which is weird we still have to sit there and I go yeah, I'm gonna go outside and smoke a cigarette and like regroup here a little bit Biggest mistake I ever made because I went outside and I'm this is like a big glass front Rest you know diner and I'm smoking outside the diner and I'm watching the narrative get created in the room without me being in the room Like the people behind and the staff coming up and being like the we're sorry things People have to still act like that people still act like that Today and bow and then when I go back in the ee.

2:10:53I mean we are pariahs. I just feel like and then the host guy Like you know see to everybody is gay and he's side. I it's just it was so uncomfortable and I was like I'd explain yourself we didn't do anything No, there's nothing to explain. Just with the kind of awkward to give us our food And I'm like you guys are mad somehow at me. How much spit do you think you ate? Oh so much so much spit with shitty food Then I told that story on my radio show was funny and somebody like message like the yelp or whatever the thing And they were like that guy was Being transphobic and we this is a welcoming restaurant who allows anybody in it's like This how is this the narrative of what happened?

2:11:32They got you. They got me. They got you Completely created around me. I wouldn't have cared if it was trained I thought it was a straight couple fucking in a diner booth that I wanted to stop Yeah, people are good at spinning a tail If by the way, I said it's always the in between two in full disclosure if the guy like Patter what I thought was the guy had that girl's like shorts to the side and I was watching him finger I wouldn't instead of word. I would just sit there and just drink it all in interesting. It was just wasn't going hard enough It wasn't soft enough or hard enough It was Goldilocks right in the middle and I don't want to see I don't want to see you guys dry hump while I'm eating Either finger where we could all see or fucking take it down the road It's hilarious that they put that put transphobia on I mean thought it was a guy the whole diner Went back in was like oh these intolerant people go.

2:12:21I don't care if that's a girl. It means nothing to me They didn't see it Also, maybe if they announced there was a girl out of the gates. I might not send anything Just two chicks going out of there. Look at these two wild motherfuckers. Right. You just thought it was crazy That it was a dude doing that. Yeah, that's funny You know funny. That's weird It's weird how we look at that. Oh, yeah, but I said you get wrapped up in a thing and you're like you're transphobia That is nothing to do with any of this. It's a problem because that label you can just slap on someone when you're talking about like Male athletes that identify as women competing in girl sports like that's not transphobic That's just we're talking about something crazy.

2:13:00Can I be trans weirdic? Is that is that it's her? Just be like true. It's like I think that's weird that uh that there's a A six foot seven woman beating up an actual woman in a ring There was some lady who was just arguing that there's no biological difference between men and women I'm gonna send you this Jamie because it's so kooky you like come on. You can't really think that this is true This is no biological difference There's no difference you men and women's strength Pennsylvania state senator So there's no biological advantage for men in women sports or disadvantage for women in men sports This is that's a woman a woman said this.

2:13:40This is so crazy. I just said it to you Jamie It's so kooky you like come on look I know you want to believe this, but if you're gonna be on TV saying things It has to make some kind of fucking sense female bodies are just as strong as A fast and capable as male bodies. I want all girls To know that there are elected officials like me who would never underestimate your ability to be a boy at their own sport Because that's what the premise of this bill assumes that female bodies Are less than male bodies for what reason Other than political gain? Are we spending time and taxpayer dollars on a completely made -up issue So female bodies are just a It's so crazy Well, she just got caught up in the woke bullshit.

2:14:33She lives in an echo chamber probably all the people around her all either in academia Or in some sort of left -wing fucking ideology and they really believe that and they believe that you should say that Because if you're saying if you're not saying then you're saying women are less than men That's not what anybody's saying strength and speed and athleticism is not all of life We made the point there's men that are less than men in different areas. Yeah Of course they're called coders They're out there like you know, they're in cells. They're online. They're they're making apps You know, there's a lot of different roles for people in this like it doesn't make you a man Just because you're you can run faster than everybody else But to say that men can't run faster than women is just you're denying statistics and science and all the information that we have gathered forever We have so much data High school 15 -year -old boys beat the women's soccer team the professional team So shut the fuck up.

2:15:27This is stupid to say. This is stupid to say. It's not Transphobic homophobic. It's not gender phobic. It's not misogynistic. It's just a fact of physical nature Also if you if you hit the pinnacle the the fights over Do you know I mean if you school like women sports is highly attended It's given the same amount of TV time as men's sport everything. It's like yeah, not enough really like now I want to now I want to be in men's sports also the craziest one when they WNBA players won as much money as the WNBA as the NBA player so the NBA actually generates extreme amounts of revenue If the W as somebody wrote a joke about it the WNBA Wanted what their just pay was and so they they owe four hundred million dollars Because that's really what how it balances out.

2:16:12It's like a losing event. It's never been profitable. Do you know with those With those things but like allow again like It's like you're helping the one to hurt the many in so many things too. It's just like the video Shane showed me this years ago the the blind kid playing football It's like a little boy playing pop wonder football. He's blind and I'm like Who's this for like you know, it's like you're dad. It's like why is he letting you do who is this for the daredevil and the kid gives a speech In the video it gives a speech and he goes you guys a lot of people say Blind people can't play football and you're like yeah everybody And you've never seen this video.

2:16:49No, just maybe my favorite video on the internet. You know blind football Jamie if you could oh This is it's the 32nd video the song they pick for this is the is the greatest thing in the world

2:17:03So here's the thing about like the WNBA if you love the WNBA that's great There's a certain amount of people that love the WNBA. It's great that women have an avenue for professional sports But you only get paid as much as people are willing to go to see you And if they're not willing to go to see you I'm sorry because they want to see dunks this kid's blind It's that kind of confidence that continues to amaze people who watch Dylan play. Oh, this is so crazy Blind. Oh, this is so crazy

2:17:36But this courageous youngster has proven those people wrong

2:17:46I agree You can't play football by smell. It's impossible. But it's against like what you're actually doing is making this game Not fun for anybody else out there. Right. You can't hit the blind kid. No one's gonna hit the blind kid And if you do you're a dick you're just running around so you have one less player for real. Yeah We just like your your team has decided to be on a handicap so you can get on the news We used to play basketball on a story every Wednesday and Nate Bargatsy one time brought his friend Nick Novicki who's a little person comedian And he brought him and we were like oh, he's gonna play like all right.

2:18:21I guess And we let him play and every time he'd get the ball The defense would lay off him and let him shoot and he'd make it or miss it But it was what it was and then he started When everyone would lay off on defense instead of shooting the ball He'd try to like run in like do a layup and we're letting him To eventually Nate Bargatsy of all people goes over and just cleaned his shot right So like the projects. He just in a way. He's like I can't just we can't just let this happen the whole time It like it's really becomes not fun for everybody. It was uh There was a when I was a kid I remember very few stories But there was a handful of like the girl that fought to get on the men's football team Yeah football such a violent sport that to let girls play it they have to put him in lingerie The lingerie football league is the only This is the only visible women playing football sport.

2:19:09I don't know But I wanted to start taking like bets on it. That was a thing right at one point in time. Oh, yeah And they hit hard they hit a hard never saw roller derby. There's also buns in basketball where they have Morbuleo beast black chicks were thongs and played basketball. I haven't seen that. Oh, but roller derby's like what's my team like a really hardcore lesbian type activity Right? Oh, yeah, I would assume yeah, yeah, really good to bang in the chest hardcore Dyke bar girls with fucking weird tattoos and there's some element of wrestling to it also. It's like not fully real very aggressive No, they slam into each other.

2:19:43They get a fucking crazy. The lingerie football if you look at lingerie football's biggest hits It's nuts with they but they I saw the they made a deal for something the air on ESPN 2 this year This is like a women's tackle football league. Oh really? Ship came from last. Wait a minute. These are chicks. Yeah, come on. Go back. That was a hell of a play Whoa That's nuts 34 yard pass caught it. Oh my god. That's crazy Dude, they look pretty good. Yeah, this looks better than WNBA. Maybe they found it. Maybe women's tackle football is what's up Because you're gonna see a lot of tackles. Oh, yeah Yeah, I don't know if they get jacked up like they do and they like didn't I fell anything?

2:20:22Well, how they have to they're running into each other. Well, here's what's funny about this These hits are pretty good, but they're wearing actual football pads. Longer a football's biggest hits Are they're wearing the shoulders? Yeah, they're wearing shoulder pads and lingerie. They look like the fucking like the Legion of Doom Fucking used to come They will each other. Do they really? I mean crazy Well, then he's never come out. That's great. They must have the things trapped down. That's oh Like these pileups are crazy and staff infection is kind of these fucking things I'm seeing a lot of staff happen in the future of these ladies.

2:20:59I mean they blast each other in the size Scratched up bad you're gonna get staff for sure Well, I will say the fact you get 22 girls on a field who are not fighting the Idea of like oh, so we just got to dress like sluts to play football. They just go. Yeah, we're just like so it's a play football. Fuck it Why are they shamed and Bunsen bad if you find Bunsen basketball We should buy a franchise dude. I'll go have these with you. Oh Jesus Christ Oh my god, there is a couple of BBLs actually see if you could find the Bunsen basketball legbreak There's a girl who fucking oh, she's a Paul George like fucking a leg bridge because she's just fat and she's falls into the weight of her dribbling It's called that is it It look it's pretty gnarly.

2:21:44It's not the worst I've ever seen It's not Tom's the girl is arm bad, but it's close. That was bad This because when he pulls it back and it's flopped. It's the uh, it's the Anderson silver retracting the flopped leg, you know his arm still is fucked It's still yeah, it's still not 100 % oh, I'd have to rip it still fucked up. He had a bunch of nerve surgeries and shit Yeah, that was gnarly dude And if you just imagine if anyone's playing defense Going for a layup Okay, here we go. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Yep

2:22:19God, it just snaps For buns and basketball of all things. Oh, it just snapped. Oh my god Hey, I can tell it's it's gonna rain tomorrow. How do you know that old buns and basketball injury? Bro, those are bad injuries the femurs are real bad one because you gotta get blood flow to it Sometimes it takes a long time. Sometimes it doesn't fully heal. Yeah, I know a couple of be a little broken femurs That's the most painful one. Yeah, I know a dude Frank Meir. He was UFC. Oh, yeah sure He got hit by a car when he was on his motorcycle and he got thrown through the air and he was a giant fucking dude He came back to took a long time where he was like really back back You know like it took well over a year and a half two years before he's really performing at the same level I mean you'd have to ask him then he came out for a brawk, right?

2:23:09He was at the right away. Yeah, he fought brawk. You need bardom Yeah, that was all after the accident. Yeah Man, UFC really has Straightened out your belief and other people from other sports saying like I can come do you Mixed martial arts very few could ever pull it off, but Brock pulled it off. I mean the the finds one for me Was again just that blind belief I had in Kimbo slice I don't know I don't know why I didn't think that Roy Nelson would just hold him on the ground and mush his face until a referee was like Hey, leave him alone. That's crazy Well Kimbo he's a tough motherfucker. Obviously.

2:23:43I mean he was fighting just stand up only He's very dangerous like he was involved in like if bear knuckle boxing was around back then He would have been a huge star of bear knuckle box. He would have fucked a lot of people up bear knuckle boxing But once you add in the wrestling and Kimbo had a bunch of knee injuries from football and you know You can't really grapple at full capacity with knee injuries and learn grappling at 35 or however old he was Yeah, but dude kudos to that guy for having the courage to actually just get into the UFC ultimate fighter That's crazy. We varied little grappling against Roy Nelson was a jujitsu black belt Hanzo Gracie black belt like Roy Nelson's fucking legit on the ground He's great.

2:24:26You don't know what he was so fun. He was so heavy too Big old belly. He knows all people now and he was like he would shut up burger Keep going burger king after the fights and stuff He also could fucking punch dude that guy could punch yeah, well some of the craziest one punch knockouts ever What is that does that career amount to like does is he sitting on money now like a guy like that or is he like I don't know I haven't talked to Roy in forever. I don't know He wound up fighting for a bunch of different organizations You know, he let when he left the O .C. I think he fought for Bellator But uh that guy has some crazy highlight.

2:25:00He knocked out job one shot He knocked out. Yeah, that's right. We knocked out a lot of people dude. He connect on people. They would go night night It was nuts man. He knocked out a tree on he knocked out a lot of fucking big tough dudes when anybody comes at shop I'm always like it's not even the the wins he's had more than I'm like Discussed not afraid of you Like he's been punched by like the best then like it's I promise you whatever you think he thinks you could do to him It's not as bad as that he's been beaten up by world champions And he's knocked out world champion he knocked out Mirko Kroakop, which is crazy Like Mirko Kroakop back in the day was the fucking man sure He was like the first elite kickboxer to really excel in MMA He was the first guy to show all these other strikers that you don't even know what you're talking about when he started fighting in pride It was like this is another level He would kick people in the body and you would see like there's a photo of him kicking kicking Heathharrig And his fucking shin is halfway into his rib cage It's so nasty when you look at the photo of it You just go the amount of power that that could guy could generate in his kicks like there Was nobody like that before him and kickbox or an MMA rather I felt so bad the first that first you have see coming back during a Quarantine was so important everybody I don't know if it was the first one or the second one that came out, but That was when I was like man You got to really pick your timing and when you're going to shout out what you're dedicating a fight to Because there's that poor guy like he lost a stepdaughter Uh, and then he came out like wearing the shirt of the stepdaughter passed away And it was all dedicated to her.

2:26:36I mean you can see as Alice over him beat him into submission with punches Yeah, the referee was even kind of going like come on man, please try to fight back That's it the analysis over him should have been like it's okay everybody I was also fighting for a stepdaughter like yeah Yeah, it's tough. I mean, but to shout that out like it's tough before yeah, it's crazy on YouTube Those are great YouTube compilations the cocky fighter comes and ring and get to lose. Oh, there's always like the guy pushes the guy at the weigh -ins And start shit at the wins and gets knocked unconscious. There was one a guy came in the UFC cage I forget what was but the way he entered the ring like he did a thing where he hung on the outside of the cage And like swung into the ring And did some crazy like move and then just it was like an immediate knockout.

2:27:21It was like a 30 -seconder Well, it's like you planning to talk to JLo you just got to let things happen You can't you can't plan you can't plan things happen the inauthenticity of your planning will come to haunt you Yeah, also the shit you talk through life is also in broadcasting as you start to get guests sort of starts to haunt you It's like the thing like Howard Stern had to make a gazillion apologies. I assume by the time he the the guest He got on because we've done it man. We fucked up so bad We came in one day. We saw Brett Michaels in the fishbowl was when me and soda were doing the show still the fishbowl Of a serious exam.

2:27:55It's like there's a studio That you could see into right now. They're with the performances and stuff And we were up in the in the fishbowl one time we saw Brett Michaels when we came in talking to somebody And then we go on air and almost like for the bit. We're like how do we never get off for these get there's always like celebrities here And they weren't even brought to us as we can get them. It's so fucking crazy And I go right now as we speak Brett Michaels is out there and then we said something about like Like his bandana being attached to his hair And like and I think soda said like they lower his his bandana hair onto him like Darth Vader And then they come back and they go he said he's willing to come in So oh no then he comes in and he's lovely this guy was making Future promises with us of what stuff he wants to do with us and hang out and come be a part of his Summer festival and broadcast from there because he loves us so much But his manager was listening the whole time and he said as soon as you left the studio they went those guys are not your friends Shit He's got to understand they didn't know you That's what it is.

2:29:00I've known they know you they talking shit. It's my girlfriend hates my guts And it's like would you do what never non -stop talking about him? Yeah, yeah, we've never stopped going. Oh, yeah, you hate on his dancing. Yeah, maybe it's getting better. We're not even hating on it At all. I love it. I want to do nothing different Um, and I wish they tried he tried to have us not allowed it his show and he opened for limp is good Not allowed yeah, and this head of security was a fan He came over to me in Bobby Kelly and he was like yeah, he goes he was asking if you guys were coming I said yes Then he asked if he could know where you were then he asked if we could not let you in and I was like well They're not doing anything not threatening you or anything to come and watch a show and he was like Well, can at least know where they're sitting at and he goes It'll be wherever the most excited people are in son of a bitch.

2:29:44Where are we? I mean, we were a sprout of grass on a dirt field of people I mean, we were the only ones we were hyped. I know all the words. He's the best But I did that was the genius of Howard Stern that I fucked up Um When I started getting the broadcast and I broadcast it always like it was gonna be me talking to a friend or friends Shooting the shit right not that you're gonna come across these people So I would have played more what Howard Stern was always great at is like take the lunatic But he's always gonna be like no, I you're great Dude, you're the best and then the world make the joke right Instead like I go at but I was like man I would have loved to just have Cory film and come in by monthly to do.

2:30:23Hey, you got a new song play it, dude I'll bite my fucking finger while I poor Cory Think about Cory that really does bother me like legitimate. We were so happy This is him let me hear this

2:30:49Oh He yells at his band. It's such a weird

2:30:56That's the guitar solo He doesn't know how to play the guitar that's so crazy, but he just does a solo How can you do a guitar solo if you don't know how to play a guitar does he actually not know how to play a guitar? Like do you know how to play? No, no, but I you don't have to know how to play to know He does not know how to play I could do what he's doing for sure and but then he's where he did You know, I don't know what the trickleback is, but I said after that was going viral the guitar I was like, why isn't this guy just come out and say like Like if he's kind of like no, I get it. I get the joke too Like then he kind of it's like puts people in there and stops them in their tracks And then he kind of did that he can make us of course.

2:31:32It's the worst guitar solo ever of course That's why I'm doing it like it's funny and it's like Now and Fred Durst came out to watch him do it to prove he was doing it Because we're spreads Durst is smart like Howard Stern He makes him think he's his friend, but he's way bigger than me that I could ever be to him Because he's going like dude go make an ass of yourself in front of all these people He's a young star guy that grew up to become a man and they're all weird There's no way you could be a star at six years old and come out normal You don't have a normal life. It's impossible Is there nobody?

2:32:07I don't think there's one everyone that I've met I mean there's some really talented people like Miley Cyrus and people that were Childhood stars that are cool to talk to and but they struggle It's a struggle all of them struggle everybody struggles like punky Brewster's probably fine right now. I don't know Know that is punky Brewster you don't remember so Leo Moon Frye she had the biggest titties when we were kids Oh, yeah, that's right. She made a great documentary a few years back That's right, but didn't she became like a mom and got out of the business. Yeah, you can do that But if you want to try if you're still if you're still clamoring for the fame.

2:32:38Yeah But I don't I mean, I don't know how many people came out of the fame as a young person and were fine But the people that stay and keep doing it they're not fine most of them. I mean, I'm maybe as a few I mean, I'm not saying it's impossible to do, but I'm saying the challenge of becoming a normal person With like a normal view of the world when you know, you're getting doded on when you're six And you're the money maker in the house when you're a little kid like your parents stop working to manage you Like that kind of shit like those Carter kids. I mean that's really there and Carter kid was Lost he's doing gay porn at the end not gay porn, but like a gay like cam stuff.

2:33:19Oh really? Yeah Just whacking off on camera. I'm a face tattoo Boxing match against Lamar. Oh don't post to it. I don't know if it ever ended up happening. They did I think they did and it's so crazy because he's like this skinny guy with like Not a muscle on his body and Lamar old and used to play for the double NBA. Isn't that true? They did have it. Yeah, it did happen. Yeah, Lamar just beats the brakes off. I mean you have to assume He's a former professional athlete the fact that unchuckled Dell is the fucking look at this size difference This is so crazy. Look at him. He's trying to punch him and Carter's he's letting him hit him He's just kind of he touches him once He's like letting him hit him Oh man, it's sad to watch there's almost like he looked like there you hit him with a left hand.

2:34:07What's really sad about it is as people is It's not just people watching you fight that that wigs me out so much. It's that There's something that knowing how to fight and the form of what you're doing looking any kind of goes Especially if you're fight street fights. I mean when they devolve into like you know like men swinging like this You're like oh man. We really all suck at the end of the day. It's like it's so hard to keep like A fighter's composure on a street fight. It's going down. Yeah, unless you do it all the time I remember watching these two guys fight in front of the comedy store and uh, it was uh It was across the street when the house of blues was over there So it was right in front in the parking lot these guys start yelling at each other and blah blah blah And they get out like almost in traffic They're like on the sidewalk like right where the street tumbles out And I see these two guys facing off and I see the white guy There's a like a white guy and uh, this Looks like it out of shape african -american fella and the white guy starts swinging with it almost like with his eyes closed And then the bus goes in between them so I can't see them And then as the bus goes back the white guy's Flat on his back spread eagle and the black guys already running away He's out cold.

2:35:26They were just squabbling in front and I don't remember how it well I just remember this. I remember this and then the bus And then Out cold. Do you have to deal with uh, because I mean, I know from like when Lewis was working with this big and stuff and he'd go to Vegas Uh, he'd be like they were all surprised at how many drunk guys at the casino try to like give him shit Oh, there's a bunch of idiots. I was like to people come to you at the time. It's like You know, you know karate for real business that thing. Well, if you hang out with enough drunks long enough Someone will just avoid those areas.

2:35:59Yeah, it's just is drunk people But if you're one of them and you're hanging out and you're drinking with people Yeah, there's a bunch there's people used to get stupid with chocolate down when chocolate doubt was the light heavyweight champion And he was the scariest fucking human on the planet and people would get stupid with him. They're on coke They don't know what they're doing They're out of their fucking minds. You think you could win that fight? People are probably can't fall down, but they're all they're crazy anyway. There's kids are frenic If people aren't there's so many nuts out there in this world Most think about fighting too is endurance.

2:36:25That's what most people don't have and then you kind of fight If it's not over in 30 seconds Everyone's holding each other one of my favorite things I watch I watch a lot of like body cam crime shit on YouTube and there's one. It's a key west. It's a couple Uh, the guy's hammered He essentially he's got money for sure this guy He's just trying like you know pay his bill of the library card or something where he's like you just know what's going on And he's barking at the staff and then someone on the staff pushes his face And then breaks into this melee, but it's You know 50 something year old white people getting in the fight and one guy Uh, gets him in a side headlock useless and then they both sort of fall down the husband and this guy who intervenes And the guy who intervenes eventually Puts his like legs, you know puts in his hooks basically, but does do night does does nothing Doesn't choke the guy out and that there's kind of sitting there two old exhausted guys 10 minutes later at least they get up and they kind of have like the Europe pussy Europe pussy kind of thing and they leave then it cuts back to the the cops outside And they want to talk to the guy who intervened not mad at them.

2:37:35They just want to get his side of the story what happened And this guy is She's an old man and the cops are questioning him and they start to lose their patience because He just wants to keep telling his hero story He just watched what happened. There's just two old men holding each other ground. He goes Guy came out of nowhere and punched me and I grew up doing this shit man. So You know, I told the guy I go you got two ways this can go tonight He goes you could you can knock it off for I could beat the fuck out of you He's telling us to the cops Yeah, you might be able to find it. We're very classy Body cam.

2:38:10We're very classy people um Maybe hopefully you could find it, but it's uh, but when he's telling the cop then he goes He's like I told me I can beat the fuck out. He goes all right So then you were able to like subdue him. He's like yeah, he goes I took him down. I'm like he goes. I don't want a problem with you and I go you you want No parts of what I'm about to bring the you moment and it's all this none of this happened You just watched the video where you just grabbed them. They flopped on the ground and laid their exhausted For 10 minutes while they're by the lady screams It's nothing and it's just like just a guy talking with that that belief.

2:38:45Yep. So this is the video Let me see some that's that's just them getting on the ground And he just put his volume Will we get in trouble? Will we lose the youtube rights? What happens? Okay, I don't don't don't give me any volume then Yeah, so that's them You can always faithful. Yeah, they just stay there And they eventually get up and have like the hands on each other. Yeah, they're up

2:39:13Now wait no, no, no, it's right after the video, but we're not gonna be able to play it. Oh, you can't play the audio No, they'll fucking get us on youtube If you're commenting on it, it's commentary are you allowed to? It's a pet's out. Let's see if we're talking. It's this guy Yeah, I probably got punched some Yeah, one big dump that I know where Giving shit to the employees and I just said hey Okay, so were you the first one to go ahead and grab them to try? Well, no, my I was probably the first kind of these guys fucking with the waitresses Do what are you doing the guy fucking punch me? I said dude, you don't want to get into this with me I grew up doing this shit.

2:39:54Mm -hmm. I said don't do what I drug nothing around. I said you got two options Either stop. I'm gonna beat the living fuck out of you. Okay So I said that's how it's gonna go on I want a problem with you. I said you you want nothing to do with what I'm gonna bring to you And then oh yeah, no, it's right there and then he goes I have to do there's only one more thing where the the cop cuts him off So you were on the ground with him holding on to yeah, I held on to him and said until he said yeah right there The cop cuts him off to just want to hear what he says and he more he goes see we able to get him on the ground Got him on the ground and I said to him because I am but you had him on the grounds like stop telling you I mean it's the way this guy speaks.

2:40:31It's like the bachito code states that if uh the weapon is drawn It must taste blood before put away. This is hilarious white people fighting. That's what this is hilarious And it goes nowhere where no one's going to the ground. What's going on? This is a lie. Oh here now they're on the ground But he's like I drug him on the ground really the husband drags him on the ground technically. Yeah, it's a disaster But tell me something my friend Justin silver used to have my favorite joke about uh That kind of personality though. He's like he's like because I'm a liar because I lie about everything And he was like uh, I'm the guy who like you know gets into a situation with somebody in the street Uh, and then I don't do anything and then I go home Shadow box and call my friends and tell them all the things that I wish I did like it actually happened And his line was if I did all the things I told my friends.

2:41:16I did my name would be Indiana Bon Jovi Balboa When you're a kid and you uh You have a situation like that happen the rest of the day you play it in your head like what I should have said Oh, man, yeah, wish I had another chance. I would have said well fuck you because this was not That's the worst and when it goes away. Yeah, this internal dialogue things like for the rest of the day What should I have said and you like plot it out and plan it scheme? I'll find him again one day One day. I'm gonna find that asshole that I've done dumb things though. It's like I don't even know with no Real trained preparation for any of these situations, but like I also when I Always had a car and when you're younger and have a car It's destroying you financially usually like it how much it costs to have a car anyway So it means a lot to you No matter how shitty it is when people would fucking hit my car some New York's a big thing with that You know like you stop short and a pedestrian just like you know slaps the front of your car or something dude to this day I would get I rate by that to this day.

2:42:16I think about one guy I had a little Honda CRX and I was driving in New York and I was making my way into this intersection And I got stuck in between lights and then people started walking and I tried to find like some space Where I could not be in the intersection there was a nice gap and so people this guy wasn't close to the car So I started moving forward and he waxed my fucking car with a briefcase and I was like I'm gonna pull over. I'm gonna put this guy in the hospital This this crazy wild thought like I'm gonna pull over and I'm just gonna go smash this dude And I said no just drive just drive just drive And like four years I would think about that guy.

2:42:56Yeah for years this arrogant cocksucker hitting my car with a fucking briefcase I have it's what it's what uh Unites me and Lewis we both have a crazy need for justice It's why like those different eventually I just it's just so it's that it's the thing. It's like the guy who did that thing I have like a I bet he won't do that anymore I bet he won't do that anymore after I've sorted this situation out, but I mean it's so dumb like it's so I mean, it's a dude thing too getting out of the car. I mean one time so early when I was coming to New York And I my what became my ex -wife We were just dating at the time in a car driving a Saturn Guy trying to impress two girls.

2:43:39He's with it. He goes by just like slaps the front of the car And it's state and then they walk into Washington square park And I like I'm just doing in it like I bark some shit out the window. No no for seconds I'm stewing in it and then I pull over with my new girlfriend. I go wait here And she goes what and then I begin to Run after this guy into the park What I'm not thinking about is as I'm running But I finally find this guy on the other side of Washington square park. I turn around dude He could have pushed me over the feather. I was like Look what's up my fuck are you You want to fucking stab you with cars?

2:44:18And luckily I just scared him with my size. I guess ultimately or something because like he didn't do anything But I was like it seems like I got there and spun this guy around. I'm like I'm done I'm so exhausted from running. I never run I sprinted to find him without thinking that I'm giving all my energy to that run and I'm like You need like a half hour to recover. I'm just fucking hit my car man And he was like luckily like apologetic and like whoa dude. I don't want any trouble you like Fuck any rain fucking any rain when he's trouble It's a I took 10 extra minutes walking back to the car leaving my girlfriend in the car Because uh, I didn't want her to see how heavy I was breathing either we get it all back together and just come back to the car and be like scared that pussy Oh Such a dumb thing to do because you could do it to the wrong guy.

2:45:05I watch my instincts are terrible on it I do I don't get out thinking like and then as soon as someone would pull out a gun I'd be like none of this was worth it got you slept my car Every now and then you'll see someone do something stupid and the person they're doing it to actually knows how to fight Those are very satisfying so satisfying. Yeah, there's a one with cops Look check the Terrence McKinney UFC fighter sure put it up on his Instagram page today So this cop tries a shitty double leg on this guy And the guy knew how to fight and the guy sprawls and the cop tries to hit him and the guy cracks him And the guy tries to tell him hey stop and then the cop that watch this like look at the cop shoots a shitty double nice bra Look at this pushes him off.

2:45:45He's got him in a headlock. Let's him go cop punches bam drop some with one shot Hit some a couple more times Hit some again rock some the cop is the cops get him Jesus Christ and the guy wasn't doing it. He was just arguing with the cops I don't have that as a cop is that a cop it's some kind of like some security some security something He's got a badge and he's getting wearing white gloves gloves the gloves are saying he gets his dukes up Like both of them he had some training, but he massively overestimated his ability look at this shitty double leg I'm gonna show me that shitty double there again watch this shitty double leg look at that terrible no drive at all Scared of the concrete.

2:46:26So he's trying to double leg without his knees going to the ground He doesn't want to really drive forward There's a great video of a very in shape cop and he's going at it with a teenager Who's really talking shit and he's like he's like a wiggory kid doing like a yo man with to take off that badge You know what's up take off that badge take off the vest boy, you know what's up And he keeps going to him in the in the cops venture like hey you keep balling up your fists man Like what are you doing just relax like I'm just what are you doing here? I'm just seeing who everybody is, you know He's like, yeah, you know what's up pussy take that vet and he's when he gets in his face one time He just grabs him by the shoulders puts his foot behind.

2:47:01I mean places him on the concrete and how fast the kids like oh Okay, whoa, we got a little nuts back there, huh? I saw that one It was fun. Well kids are in fact women getting taser. Does my other favorite? I bet that young man was under 25 Oh no doubt his brain was mush no doubt and then but it was funny when they come to come back and they go I was being crazy back there That's why they send those young boys out the war Because they're all fucking piss and vinegar all piss and vinegar with a non fully deformed brain Yeah, I'm fully formed brain. They fucking take that gun and hear some math.

2:47:33Let's fucking go There's a guy in the audience last night. We did story wars at mothership and there's a guy in the front who's Where's a brace around his body like we asked him why Uh, he was stabbed in Afghanistan hand -to -hand combat. Oh Jesus. It was like a gunfight and ended up being a hand -to -hand combat He said he beat he knocked the guy down didn't confirm that he was out And then we took his tension away the guy reached up and said stab them oh right in the fucking chest basically pretty wild And out we were like and we're looking this guy we go in Afghanistan when it he was 18 You do that when he was 18 wow I think he said the 16 -year -old was the kid the kid who stabbed him was 16.

2:48:11Jesus Christ Whew such a wild thing. It's intense. It's a little too intense don't get in fights kids. That's our message Right if you can avoid it. Perhaps I've avoided all of them. I tried to I got to know a thing a road rage thing Right knock the guy out. He wasn't very big and I basically got out of the car and he was right away Didn't want to do anything and I mushed his face He was drunk and I get mushing his face until he would throw up a drunk and punch And then I hit him and I caught him only time in a fight in my life where I caught him first shot And he literally like folded on the ground And then I got my car drove away with my current girlfriend Christine and when we uh we got Like a few blocks away my you know my adrenaline started going down I was like and so Chokingly almost I just look at her and I I kissed my bicep like one shot and she goes She goes she was like really pissed like she didn't Think it was funny or anything and I was like But it wasn't even like kind of hot that I just knocked that guy out one shot and she was like no like what if you killed him Like his head bounced off the ground what it's all for what and I was like Yeah, it's a great point.

2:49:18I guess it's a real good. I'm like what a great fucking point because I made him I'm walking away from that like hey, I didn't even get touched and uh I got sweet beautiful justice you know the way I'm always searching for and she was like No, what if you killed him and I'm like yeah, I bear as a point there I don't think about that with that guy but yourself getting killed or what if you'd kill somebody? Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, he never punched somebody in the face on the concrete if you can Like a good trained fighter probably punching the body Yeah, just because they don't want to go to jail forever When I Kevin James friends went to jail for like seven years He was a bouncer at a nightclub in Long Island Knocked a guy out the guy falls hits his head dies happens Yeah, but it didn't like didn't Harry Houdini get killed from a gut shot something like that Yeah, like a punch to the stomach.

2:49:59He died days later. Yeah, cuz like an organ busted If you never think about that you want to give everything you got to a face punch and then you're like Boy, I sure hope I don't blind him forever. These are all things could happen all things that could happen All right, Jay. I love you to death. Let's wrap this bitch up. Can I plug? Yeah, please do my first half a double crowd work special Them is currently out second half they's coming up for 20 all done At the done for comedy work. So thank you. We're almost a million the best fucking clubs on earth that club rules That club is so great. It's so good.

2:50:33Well, you guys do the same thing everyone's facing forward. Yep, and yonder bags Oh, yeah, I thought about that when I was designing my club I was almost gonna do the seats like she has them. They're all locked down. Yeah Wendy's the best shout out to Wendy. We love her. All right. Thank you brother. Thank you. Bye, everybody