#2377 - Carrot Top

24:44And I'm like, this is a joke. I called my brother and I said, and he flies, I said, this thing says that you're like top secret, you don't fly anywhere. Yeah, I don't mean I'm gonna talk about it. You know, my brother can't tell me, he wouldn't tell me. I just thought that was so crazy. I mean, there's whole show saying there's no red planes and there's a mystery to if you could find them. And I'm like, they're right, everybody knows where they are. I can zoom in and take a picture of it. That's ridiculous. Everybody literally knows where they are. Yeah. You could see them from Man of the Levy.

25:12Unless they are fake ones, they're the ones that The deploy say they the decoy yeah, just like the 747 and they have the other 747. Yeah when Bob Lazar was working on back Engineering UFOs allegedly that's where he used to fly out of huh they'd pick him up there and he'd fly over to area S4 Quick quick little flight Out into the middle of groom Lake Quick layover and come get out and they'd say figure this thing out cheese Allegedly. Yeah, supposedly looks like that. That one right there. Right. Why thought that was a symbol of AC DC's album looking at. It looks a little bit like that. No, it's this.

25:51That's the sport model. That's what Bob supposedly was working on in the area 51. Yeah. You know, who knows? It's fun. Yeah. I love about space stuff. Yeah. But when you're looking at those actual planes, I don't to talk to one of those guys. They tell you, they're fucked. Oh yeah, like my brother's like, we talking about. He would not, no, he's, you know, working in and out. No, you don't, you, you fly this plane, it's telling me more. He wouldn't tell you nothing. No, even if the phone's down to go for a walk. No, nothing. Your own brother? Yep. If you were my brother, I'd tell you. What you fuck you?

26:29I would too. I don't see, I can't keep a secret. It's probably what I was like. That's why I'm, like, I'm not in the big, exactly what I didn't, are you? People always ask me like, Does anybody ever tell you like secret top secret information? Like, no, I have a big fucking mouth. You were telling me. Exactly right. They told me that UFOs are real. I'd be like, look, I'm sorry. Maybe they're going to put me in jail, but I have to tell you. I always had that question to honestly about people that have had security clearances than that. And then they revoke them and they get rid of me. Yeah. My biggest, I have to take those.

26:58I know these things. Yeah, these aren't working. Something about your hair. I think I know those things. Let's just go ahead, Pat. Oh, I got better. Oh, it was a struggle. Can I take my pants off? Do you get to take it off? This is a pants result. No head phone, no pant. Where is that one? You probably have extra pants in there anyway. I'm I do probably have something in there. I know. I you do. No, not just that show. Or do you just like reaching in a show? The show the show is structured. Um, but when I can't do like, little things that there's not at all. There's nothing's zero. Do you ever do guests that's like at a comedy club?

27:34Or you bring them out? I used to do it. I used to make a thing. I do it these days. No, no. I mean, to kind of do like this, what I'm doing today, but Tony, I bring a little, a little. Right. I love it. I was like, it was very fun. I saw. I was, yeah, he said, he said to me. I was home, I said, no, I don't really want to do props. You know, I want to talk. I'm gonna do I want to be you know not Carrot Tom pieces, but that's what I want I want you to be That and he was right because it was really he was right because you know a lot of his it was both right Yeah, it was fun to talk be funny without doing proper and then going and show some of the stuff And he he was beside himself.

28:06He said you hear tomorrow night. I'm here. No no Tonight and I have a show there tomorrow night. I shouldn't say be fun if you oh that would be Box man. I would have done that in a heartbeat another time. You'll be back. Yeah Next time was playing on that. Yeah, that would be awesome. Absolutely. Yeah. I just had Ron White come up on on stage him Just last Friday. Oh, he was in Vegas and he came out and you know Ron's just a hoot. He says He comes in and I said, you know what I said, but I thought you know What do you want me to do? I said you just do what I you know don't you know to stress out don't come out and do 20 minutes Just I think just poke your head out.

28:48I have a I have a bit in my act Where I talk about my dad working at NASA and training astronauts and it's just like Neil Armstrong and John Glenn They'll these pictures come up and Katy Perry, everybody goes, ah I said if I dad was alive you could hear him right now and go, what the fuck and I got Ron white to do the voice for it Right so the crowd they already know it can use here's voice what the fuck and everybody's like Ron Why so I said that sounds like Ron white and I said fucking sounds a lot like Ron white And he walks out and he's well no shit Sherlock and the crowd loses it right and He's so nice.

29:23I was gonna come out here and say something, but you're fucking hey I was having a good set fucking blowing the roof all of the fucking place and so he says You still want it? I said no, dude joke. All right. I'll do it. He did some joke and And it was great because he's he's I'm watching the whole show He's like one of my men you know heroes in life. He's sitting there watching the show And then he's gone for like I don't know him his bits coming up. I don't know where he is And you could smell pot the whole the whole theater so I smell my life since that joke and I'm like oh fuck I hope it's I mean Ron you can't like smoke weed here So he I go off after get we comes out and he says he just whoo it comes So I said all right no nothing for Ron white and I said some kind of just said in that if you smell weed He goes back in my dress.

30:09Now there's another show back that's back down in there, all these stripper girls. And they're all like, hey, I didn't know you partied. I'm like, what? I'm like, I didn't know you part. I've been there 19 years. I'm like, I don't partied. They're like, no, that's my friend Ron. He's smoking weed. Holy shit. I mean, it was, it would just bellow through the whole lobby out into the lobby. Yeah, he can go hard. Oh, he goes like, he's like, I smoked weed with him and then done a set. I'm like, what am I talking about? No, he was so blittery and then he left his weed and his wallet in my dressing.

30:40Oh, no, he's doing his wallet. Yeah, fuck you guys I was a lot and his weed He's here. He lives here. He does I know he's he he was said he might surprise me that later. Oh nice They and you've done I don't know if I do shows with him every week Every week. Yeah, great. He's he's the he's the best. He's just he's one of the main reasons why I moved here Yeah, that's crazy. When he moved here in 2000, I think 17 or 18, I think 18. And I was like, where are you, Man of Messia? He's like, I'm moved back to Austin. I fucking love it. It's in the middle of the country. I can fly here from everywhere.

31:16It's like three hours no matter where you go. And three hours in New York, three hours in LA, perfectly centrally located. People are nice. Foods great. I was like, all right. He's right. He got me thinking about Austin. And then when the pandemic hit, I was like, Well, if I moved to Austin at the very least Ron's going to be there. I'm like there's good comedy club there, but the comedy club it already closed I'm like, but at least Ron's there, you know, I'll have a friend. I just had to get out of LA and he was just raving about how good come on down man Austin's fucking awesome

31:50He's also the one to talk me into opening up a club awesome. Yeah, it was it was totally Ron He hadn't done, is a really funny story. He hadn't done stand up in like eight months. He goes, I'm fucking retired. Because it was the damn answer. I'm not the chaos. I'm fucking retired. I'm done. I got plenty of money. I'm just going to enjoy life. And it's done. I'm like, OK, come on, man. Really? I'm like, you're so funny. That guy just can't believe that. And so then Tony put on a show at the Vulcan. Tony had done like one or two shows indoors. I'm like, which was crazy. Like, oh my God, we're doing shows indoors in 2020.

32:23This is madness. All right, and then LA people are freaking out. You're killing me! Yeah, exactly. And so, Ron was like, oh, fuck it out of you. I know if I'm gonna do a set. And then he decided to go on stage. He went on stage. The audience went fucking bananas. He got a huge standing ovation. The moment he went on stage, murdered. I mean murdered for 15 minutes. And then he came off stage and he grabbed me by my shoulders. And he goes, whatever the fuck we have to do, we're gonna keep doing this. You got to open that club. I'm like okay, okay, that's great. That was the beginning of the comedy mother's ship.

32:59It was wrong Wow, how great is that he's the he was the the original he was the the Christopher Columbus But that's a bad example because that guy was real piece of shit You know, he was the original pioneer. Yeah, it came here. Yeah, crazy We went out a mouth. I'll do one more Ron white store because it's it's just Incredible I go I go he can we go out and this is a fancy like that one of these posh little bars down somewhere in the fancy hotel. And I even said, where do you want to go? And I said, this is kind of like, you know, then we go to bar. He said, let's go to the one at the area or whatever.

33:35So we go and it's real fancy and we sit down and the wait just walks over to us and there's three of us, his wife, his girlfriend, me, my friend. And I said, let's do a crown, the rocks and she, oh, the glass of wine. And As I look over to his wife I said would you like a damn smoke and weed and Rons is literally he looks at he's like well no fucking shit and I go Ron You can't you can't smoke pot in here I guess the hell can't who the hell is gonna throw Ron white and carotop out of a fucking bar and within seconds Metro is standing there going you guys get the fuck out of here and and Ron's like you gotta be fucking shit I said, Ron, he can't, like he just, he's the cops are there.

34:21And he said, well, they're good. Error good. I said, no, we're not good. We got to go. He just thought, he's, who's going to, he did that my backstage this last week. I said, you can't smoke pot back here. He's, it's your fucking dressing room. What does that mean? Is that better? Look, so because I better know, because I've got the other people, the girls, the show, Oh, the next is a lot of the other people backstage that I can't do. The next show is like strippers called fantasy. Yeah, it's like my let's like a lot like my show except it's funnier and there's naked people So yeah, what is it?

34:52It's just a girls dancing review show These to have something It was called crazy girls. Yeah, there was like comedians would host it That was kind of like this one they haven't even think you have it have a comic in the middle and then the girls Yeah, it's a good show. They've been there for a while It's for people that want an excuse to see strippers, but they don't want to go to a strip club right right So that you can pick a date to a show. Right. Right. I see some titties. Yeah, smart of it. So you wouldn't go to strip club. I didn't want to fancy. You can just sit at the bar. But this is such an odd place.

35:26There's nothing like that place. It's so strange. It's just got such a history. But it's first of all, the beginning of it, right? It's founded by the mob. Like they literally want a place where they can get gambling. And then in order to have legal gambling, there's probably some sort of a deal where they let the government blow nukes off in the middle of the mountains. So the spots out there where you really can't even visit because they detonated 50 -60 nukes. That's crazy. That's a killed John Wayne, you know. Vegas? John Wayne was doing a movie in Nevada about Ginghis Khan. It's a terrible movie.

36:03And he did that movie in a giant percentage of the people that worked on the movie got cancer from it. Oh, yeah, because they were literally like right down the road from one of the test sites Yeah That's crazy. It's fucked right? Yeah, but I always thought that's probably one of the reasons why they allowed them to do the gambling thing there They probably made some sort of a deal like yeah, you can have gambling But this is what we want to do. Yeah, we want to blow off nukes Jesus I feel like that sometimes I'm I'm on stage of Luxor it was something something from comes down and you can see it just particle of something it's always like oh it's nice the place is fine it's a spestus well it's not nukes Lexor built in like what the early 2000s yeah no it wouldn't be nuclear stuff what was that place built yes something like that because when we fell fear factor yeah about 2000 yeah you're right there 20 of them so yeah 2000 yeah, so I don't think they use this best us, but it's just such a weird place 93 oh wow No kidding oh shit.

37:17We're right. I'm well, and I work there. Fuck Not too far off 10 years Look at that The weight is over two pound for pound kings one epic showdown Kinello versus Crawford going toe to toe at last. And Draft King Sportsbook is in your corner from the opening bell to the final blow. From the opening bell to the judges final call, Draft Kings has you covered with odds on knockouts, total rounds, method of victory, and more. Never bet on a fight before? Easy. Open the app. Look for something simple like who will win and make your pick. And it's not just fight night. Football is on tap this Sunday too.

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38:43On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resorting Kansas, 21 and over, Agent eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Fees may apply in Illinois, Boyd and Ontario. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, is cdkng .co slash audio. It was a great idea. Yeah, it's still phenomenally walk inside it. I'm it's just breathtaking. I was there recently. I want to see you walk in. Right. The body is a bit. You walk in. It's like, you know, I have to do a joke like that. Yeah, I got I had sex on the really hot chicken and they finally threw me out of the box except for something.

39:15So I'm just going to do that. That body's except but it's fucking creepy. Do you know the story behind that? I look well a little. I mean, yeah, that kind of... They're mostly... Well, they don't really know like where they're getting the bodies, but they do know that a lot of them are political prisoners. Mm -hmm. Yeah, so it's basically like people that ran a foul of the Chinese government, so they whack them and turn them in the statues. Mm -hmm. That's creepy, it's right outside my theater. Yeah, well, I damn. A lot of them they call like unidentified bodies, but the real problem is like to be unidentified body, you have to be unidentified for 30 days, but then in order to do the plastination process where they turn you into a statue, it has to take place within 48 hours of death.

40:10So, someone's lying. Yeah. Someone makes a lot more sense than you. A lot of people at home. What a great place to have a comedy club right next to like the Titanic Museum and dead fucking bodies, right? Yeah, I didn't get you more in a mood for a show. I saw that too the Titanic museum. Yeah, Titanic Museum. That's pretty dope. They actually have a big chunk of the Titanic on display there. Yeah, been in there. Yeah. But what a wild time where people would just get on a fucking boat and travel across the ocean with no YouTube, no GPS, hope they didn't hit an iceberg. And that was like super fancy high tech travel.

40:47Imagine the people that traveled 30, 40 years before that. Wooden boats. Yeah. Not having any idea. Just going on a promise that you had a job waiting on the other side of the fucking ocean. Right? Yeah. That's how my grandparents got here. There are probably comics on this cruise ships. We're gonna probably terrible comics on those cruise ships. That's the worst job in comic ever. I hate ever. I did one. It's not only one. It's one of those things where a guy, you know, there's some guys that like it, like, I know a lot of both does like jazz cruises, like Alonzo Bowdoin is a, he's a great comic, but he's also like a giant jazz fan.

41:29Love's jazz music. So he'll go on jazz cruises and it's, it's probably perfect for him because like, it's like if I went on an MMA cruise, you know, I can bring you talk about. It's like you can talk about subjects that most people in a regular crowd like what the fuck are you talking about? If you're talking about obscure jazz music, you know, yeah now that would work I have a lot of friends love cruise ships. I just don't yeah If you heard what they're doing with AI music speaking of jazz They they did 50 I sent it to Jamie today. They took 50 cents many men and made it like a a soulful song that seems like it's from the 50s or 60s.

42:07Have you heard of it? No, but I've heard a few other ones, not the 50 set one. Dude, you wanna listen to it? Yeah. It's so fucking good. I sent it to Brian Simpson and he said, that is the best fucking thing you've ever sent me. And so they just did that. Yes, through AI. It's not even a real human being's voice. And it's fucking good, dude. It's good where you're like, whoa, listen to this. It seems weird hearing these lyrics with this kind of singing, you know, because it's like hardcore gangster rap music, but with, listen to this though. It's kind of crazy that they're doing. -♪ Man and man, wish depth upon me.

42:50-♪ Blood and light, oh, and I can't see.

42:58-♪ I'm trying to be. Wow.

43:13Isn't that great? She gets better.

43:35I'm gonna watch how you talk. When you talk about me.

43:44Because I'll come and take your life away. Woo! Oh, great. How incredible. Many men. Nobody sings lyrics like that with those kind of lyrics. No, it's gangster rap. I'm really glad you had an incredible voice. It, A .I. is fucking scary, man. That's so good. If that was a dude, if that was a dude who sang that, I was like, who was this guy? You know what, this guy is fine. It's just the kind of stuff we're gonna be, yeah. I mean, first of my heart about it was a rainy Travis had a song out and I love rainy Travis. I was like, he has a new album, he's not doing well. He hasn't known them. That's right, they used AI, but that was his decision, right?

44:26Yes. Yeah, I think you wrote the music. Yeah, I think you did but it just blew me away My we had a whole fight with my crew like it's not fucking it's AI They said it right but the difference is like this is not a real person's voice right and it's probably a Conglomeration of multiple different singers for at least I'm guessing I'm looking actually I don't know where this started But I'm looking at the one that I'm looking at they are trying to sell this like it's a They tried to make it seem like 50 Cent covered the song from some guy named Shifty Brent. Oh, yeah, but they do that stuff. They did that with the Chris Rock thing.

45:00When Chris Rock got slapped by Will Smith, they tried to pretend that it was an old television show. And they did an AI version of his old television show where guy goes on stage and slaps the comedian. It's really funny. It's AI is so squirrely. They're probably just trying to make money. That's why they did it. But God damn it. But the rainy Travis one is his voice. So I don't think so. No, no, it is. So what they do is like it's my voice too like they use AI with my there's a there's a whole podcast with me and Steve Jobs I never met Steve Jobs. Oh, there's a whole podcast that somebody made with AI AI because you have Steve Jobs's voice And you have my voice thousands and thousands of hours every sound that I can make with my voice sure is already been made So all the computer has to do that Weird noises.

45:44Oh Weird noises, but all the computer has to do is just take a a giant amount of your voices. And then apply it differently, emotionally, slowly, somberly, angrily, and you can just put it all together. They just had one with me. It was like, what the, it was me doing something, you know, do they do ransom phone calls? That's what people want to say. That's what it was. It was not, it was said, hey, it's, it's me. It was caret up. I'm listening if you could help me out. And it was like, I was broken. I was down and out. I needed the money. And they let me stop sucking my deck and wear it. I need a desert.

46:24Send money. Yeah, there's it's it's real weird because it's super good now. In the beginning, when we first started hearing it, it was kind of obvious because the inflections were off like the way you would say something like like the inflections in that was amazing. Was insane. Yeah. You know? That's it. That I'll take your life, watch how you're talking about me with, wow, take your life way. That's great. Ooh, you hear it like damn. So that means that we associate with a soulful, incredibly creative person with an amazing God -given talent of a voice, but it's not. That's what's crazy. Like they nailed it.

47:06Even though I know it's fake, I love it. Yeah. And you love it too. like we're listening to this great, but we know it's fake. That's kind of crazy. The Randy Travis thing is different because what they just did is he wrote it and then he can't sing anymore, but they have thousands of hours of him singing. He's singing so they took that. They take that and then just turn it into him singing. It's amazing. It is him singing. It's actually his voice. It's just not coming out of his mouth. It's coming out of technology, but it is his voice. Crazy. And it's his writing, right? So it's like, it really is a Randy Travis album.

47:39It's just ranny try like you can enjoy someone that can't do it anymore, but it's still alive right sure You know like that guy had so many great song. Oh, oh my god I could go on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever Well enough. No, he's got so many. I love I'm house my first big country Says Kenny Rogers my dad. We're gonna see Kenny Rogers every goddamn every concept my dad went to his Kenny Rogers really literally That's hilarious and then he goes oh we put that no I'm taking off we forgot I'm off because I feel more animated yeah the Is weird so we get did he goes to see Kenny Rogers and I'm I'm like 12 or something He says you want to go so my dad's I said I'll go to Kenny first concert with Kenny Rogers It's like huge who's playing like arenas it was him and Tammy wine net and that was great.

48:31You got to know We write all the hits

48:39and the second concert I go to was Kenny Rogers, right? So I'm like, geez, all right, I don't think there's anything else but Kenny Rogers, right? Third time I go to this fucking thing, I'm like, dead. Can we go to Alabama? Can we go to another concert? Can we love Alabama? I love this. No, Kenny Rogers is, so then I meet Kenny Rogers in an elevator in LA, like it's just the weirdest thing. Being doors open and he's standing, he gets on. I said, I said, oh, man, I don't bother you legend. He's like, thank you. I said, you know the first concert I ever went to he says I'm gonna say me I said yep, that's awesome.

49:17I see you know the second concert I went to he says nope I said you he says well that's awesome. I said you know the third and he goes all right fuck off He just fuck off what we're going with this I said my dad took me to your concert three times in a row It was take is well you had a we have a great dad and and then it was just kind of awkward He's just we're just I kind of ran out of exactly what we're talking about. Yeah, we're just looking at the numbers and we're going up and finally I said oh, you know what you have great chicken And I'm like what the fuck I didn't know what else to say and but he really did have great chicken rostris thing and that's what I said and he went like he looked at me like fuck I said no I and the sides are great to the chicken That's song the gambler how many people that turn into gambling junkies Right.

50:02Romanticized gambler you made it seem so you got to know when to hold them. I do, I know when. I know when to hold them. I know when to run. I know when to run. I know when I'm doing that. Did they make a TV movie about that? Wasn't there a TV movie? Yeah, called the gambler. Wasn't it called the gambler? I think there's a TV movie called the gambler. Yeah. We'll find out in seconds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's something about there's something about music that was created before the the internet of the gambler here you go gambler look at him What year is this? It's good?

50:40There's something about stuff that was created before the internet that's so fast. Oh, right? It's like an archeological dig You know like this is like that. That's just great like having looks great. I know it's like you want to watch it Can I say, can I listen? Because it's like an archaeological dig. Like you're looking at the way people used to behave and talk before the internet. Right. You know, it's weird. It's like oddly fake. You know, it's like oddly, like, interesting how you analyze that way. Now I want to see what you're talking about. Yeah, like I'm being, I'm an amateur archaeologist here.

51:18This is a different time human beings from 1980 were like a different thing Everybody would just leave the house Everyone had a key Nobody knew where anybody was at any given time You left the house you were gone. We didn't even have answering machines. Yeah, right people were basically wild animals And they only knew how to behave from movies and TV give me some of this Oh, is it still playing the music? Oh, okay. Is this the theme song? I mean, it's playing the song again. I want it. Yeah. That's right. That's so fun. Look at it even in the way it looks. Thank you. The way it looks. It looks so cordball.

52:00It's just kind of amazing. You know, we just... People just kind of accepted. I love the fact that how you put it, there was... They're not even having... Some recall it. Yeah. Answer machines. They were just gone. We were wild animals. We were wild animals. People in 1980 were essentially wild animals. They were wild animals who had children. No one knew what was going on in the world. And everybody was completely uninformed. Right. That's great. It's crazy. Wouldn't it be great to manage your portfolio on one platform? Well, now you can trade all in one place on Robinhood. That means you can trade individual stocks and ETFs.

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54:19It's the finance tool that will help you do more of what you love. Go to rocketmoney .com slash JRE today. That's rocketmoney .com slash JRE. Rocketmoney .com slash JRE. ARE. I heard that Russia was gonna blow us up. That was every day. Everybody's worried about Russia blowing us up And no one knew what was going on and everybody lived in bliss And you only knew the people in your neighborhood didn't know anybody else. No, you didn't know like true There wasn't even one hundredth of the amount of famous people back then There was a tiny amount of famous people. There was Elvis and a few other folks.

54:55Yeah, there's a few rock stars Yeah, a few comics. There's like Richard Pratt. Yeah, TV shows that you find with think you know Yeah, dude, animals. We were looking at any Rogers. Salah. These are wild animals that have just been introduced to technology and they're aping what it's like to be a grown -up. Like they're just figuring it out. And now here we are. We're like the teenagers. We're the adolescents of civilization. So we realize that's kind of silly. And everything, but there's stuff from then that's better than stuff that's today for whatever we are reason. There's some music back then that hits you because like you realize like how special this really like prints for instance Like I remember the first time I listened to prints.

55:42I listened to I was delivering newspapers at the time and I listened to I want to be your lover And I was like who the fuck is this guy man like this guy was coming out of nowhere. He was like completely Androgynous like like he was a beautiful man with his long flowing hair and the first album is him with his shirt off just staring at him like what the fuck is this going on? And then I wanna be your lover, I heard that. I was like oh my God, this guy's talented. But he was like out of nowhere talented, you know what I mean? Like who the fuck was like that guy before him? All right. He was completely different than anybody that came before.

56:24I wanna think that would people compare with Michael Jackson because of the he's very different to right but that hit because because I remember Prince came out I'm like oh he's trying to be Michael Jackson no no yeah but he could he wouldn't he was here's this this first performance oh let me see this let me hear some of this there you go there's your song

56:49look at him now him I've always seen the legendary. Bro, you can tell you're so funny. This video, if you took the sound off this and you put in like Cinderella, it would probably match his, his, Aerosmith. But it looked like how he's doing it, but even if he walked his way, he's got it. Even you took the phone, it looks like he's so compelling. Yes, he was so compelling. All I ever wanted to do I bet women were so confused why they wanted to fuck him Like why don't I want to fuck out love it? They wanted to fuck me. They did like he cracked the code He figured something out and they did your a 5 .3 dude with insane amount of talent And you were in stiletto heels on stage and everybody wants to fuck you.

57:37Yeah, cuz he was that That's talent. Yeah, yeah, he was that talented And then his also his music was so wild like that song head I remember that song that was like what year was head? It was like 86 or something like that like what year was that My mind of the thing 80 wow 1980 so this was then before I was in high school Sun this is before I was in high school. Yeah song about blow jobs. Yeah, morning noon and night. I'll give you head Yeah, you know till you're burning up head do you love his red head love you to your dad? Ow, you know Prince people crazy Prince people reached out to our our people one night and asked that they could come to the show When he was at the Rio whoa and we said well fuck yeah, what do you mean?

58:29Of course we would and they said there's only one one caveat. I said was that you can't curse Prince hates cursing yeah for real for real. Oh, yeah, so maybe you just wanted to fuck with you Maybe. How much power do I have? Yeah, I do. Well, I don't think I was, but I was like, I want to hear swear. I would tell my, my, my P, I said, I told him a second. He's telling me I can't curse. He said, yeah, that's the one thing I said, but I, his, he has a song called cream. Get off. Yeah. Cream, right? Yeah. And they're like, yeah, I'm like, no, I'm not gonna change my whole. Oh, he became a devoted Jehovah's Witness.

59:05And as a result, stop using for a fan. Yeah. Even implementing a cash where jar at his Paisley Park studio to enforce his no -swearing policy. Witnesses believe that using blasphemous or foul language is a sin and prints adhered to this tenant by removing swear words from his music and charging people for any foul language spoken at his compound. Well, I'm already fine 200 bucks today, I think. As much as I love that guy, I would not visit him. I would be like, I can't do that. No, that's what I said. I don't want to do that. Maybe I would. Maybe I'd talk to him once. I would just like like if I'm gonna go talk to a priest I'm not gonna go swear you know what I mean right I'm gonna try to be nice Yeah, but like at a certain point time like I don't want to perpetuate this Really stupid idea that different sounds that you make with your mouth are uniquely offensive It's what you're you're saying it's supposed to be a sound that I make so you know what I'm thinking and if you have words that you could substitute for these thoughts that are...

1:00:08If you have a thought that is only expressed through fuck you, like we know what fuck you means and everybody says fuck you. For you to say that you can't say that anymore, you're manipulating language to make it have less nuance. That's never good. Like it's already not nuanced enough. Like it still doesn't quite grasp exactly what you're thinking or what you're saying, and the worst case scenario of it is when someone writes down what you're saying, instead of hearing you say it in context with the conversation that you're having, right? So it's like, anybody who says you don't use certain words, like, stop being a baby.

1:00:50Stop being a baby. These are just noises you make so that we can understand all that shit is nonsense. It's stupid. It's stupid. and it was mostly created, I think, well, first of all, on television, right? Television, you had advertising, and that was the only place where there was advertising. And so that was the only place that had a proven audience, but to keep that proven audience on NBC and CBS, you had a institute laws where you literally, we get fine, like a serious amount of money. If you swore on TV, and then cable came along, and everybody, you know, Sam Kinesz and was like HBO. Right, and you're like what this is way better like why can't we just talk right but again?

1:01:32This is cave people right innocent on HP was 86 right no one knew what the fuck was going on dude No one knew what the fuck was going on back then prior. Yeah, it was just amazing when I was a kid I was at my friend Jimmy Lawless's house and we watched Eddie Murphy Delirious. I think we were all like Wait here was that 80 I want to say I was 15 maybe Delirid 86. I want to say I was like 15 or 16. I couldn't believe how funny it was. I was like, this is insane. Oh no. He's talking about the the honeymooners fucking each other in the ass. No, no. It's just like Jackie Gleason is fucking Ed Dorken in the ass.

1:02:14No, I've been looking to Like this is insane. How was this on TV 86 83 83 yeah Wow, and believe me one of those yeah, yeah, I think no, yeah, you're right It makes me like 15 Fucking crazy. It was so good dude, and it was new It was like all the sudden you're seeing you're hearing someone just wearing on TV Yeah, like this is crazy. How many watching this right? That's well It was that was a big change in every and then because the cable well cable and then VHS tapes We can go in like you could rent delirious Would rent it wouldn't it do it man did right? Yeah go home put it in get popcorn out Gonna watch the lyrics.

1:03:01We're a king. Yeah, we were gay people. We're telling stories by the fire. Yeah literally Yeah, I'm not. I didn't dare to stop him. That was our form of entertainment. It's so weird, do you think back about that? Could you bring this up? And that weird, because I'm about your age and we didn't have any, we didn't like you said we didn't have an answer machine. Yeah, we had nothing. We had nothing. I think we are the perfect, we're the perfect people to like really understand the change the society has gone through and how spectacular that change is because we, we were there when there was none.

1:03:38Well, there was nothing. We're walkie talkies were crazy. That was huge. That was huge. That was not. You could talk to your friends. Yeah, no crazy. You better know how to go ahead. It's look good. Bro, what's going on over there? Over. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. pulled in over him. It was the craziest in the world. You could talk to walkie -talkie or I knew it do do out of CB in his car. He just had random conversations with people. Bro they would just start talking about stuff. Yeah, break it one night. Break it one night. I would jump to. Yeah, yeah.

1:04:10Yeah, and they would just have conversations and people would meet people. Like you said, and the smoking the band it that was that that was that but that that is the about the time you're talking about too. Yeah, we had CB's but they're also like the caveman they were just yeah, it was It was but you were the cool guy if you had a CB in your truck Yeah, if you had a CB in your truck you were cool. Yeah, didn't Didn't burp Reynolds have a CB in his trans am yeah, of course he did he had no yeah, yeah Yeah, hey big no, what's up? And we're gonna pull over here and feed their dog and Ten four good buddy.

1:04:43That is the ultimate cool guy Yeah, I got a one -way talkie in his trans am with a cowboy hat on second right? That's my fault. By the way, it is one of my only movies that I own on my iPod. Bro, it is another archaeological site. It's a dig. They've dug down to another time of human beings where this is the coolest guy in the world. A guy who runs from the cops and he transams with a firebird on the fucking hood. And he's talking on a sea biggie with a cowboy hat on. I mean, this is the first movie that's like Greek theater. Yeah, first movie they broke the camera the third what do you call that?

1:05:21Where they look in the air wall. Yeah, yeah, that was the first wall fourth wall fourth wall fourth wall fourth wall is right when he's when he first being chased Yeah, thank God Jim. He's going down the he's going He he loses him in the alley in the very beginning Chasing and he's going like he's backing in like this and he looks at the camera. He's It's like that was fucking awesome like he just he just gave that look at it. Oh, but Reynolds had so much charisma It's grined. He was so good. And the fucking sheriff. I mean, got you damn it. How great is that all but you know? Really great. Give me a dabble sandwich and a doctor pepper may quick.

1:05:53I'm gonna goddamn hurry Yeah, who's chasing you? No one's chasing me. I'm sheriff No one's chasing me You stay here and you leave you leave you think about it, but don't do it Yeah, kids on the car dude Jackie Gleason was amazing and that's an attention getta. Yeah He was so good as keys. That's called an intention getter. Do you remember Bert Reynolds in deliverance? Oh, yeah, absolutely. That was insane. Crazy. Crazy. That was insane. Well, that was when you get to see him as an actual actor. You're like, oh, this guy was good. He was a good actor, right? You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't just smoking the band.

1:06:35Right. Sure. No. The guy having a good time super charming. Right. Great. He was fun, man. in deliverance. Look at that. It was like right out of him, right when he was done playing football. Yep. That's right. He kills a guy with a bow, doesn't he? Crazy movie. Yeah, man. It was a good movie. That was a good movie. I got to meet him. He used to cool his helmet. That's a very intense movie. He got a pie fight. You got a pie fight with Ferrer. No. I was on the tonight show. But this is crazy. But Reynolds was the lead guest. He came out and talked about being married like nine times. Mark Summers who hosted the game show whatever it was.

1:07:14Mark Summers, he came out and Bert's moves down to the second cheer and Mark's here's Jay and he puts his back to Bert and he starts telling him, you know, you know, something like, you know, I've only been married once and Bert's over there, you know, kind of getting a little, first He's got his back to him then he takes the cup the mug and he says He went to take it and he says is this mine? He says I don't give a shit and he says well you've been married five times I don't want to say he's trying to be funny like I don't drink after you've been married five times I just got hurt they got oh here it is Now here's the best part.

1:07:55I'm watch whoa. Oh, no, this is real shit. I'm a guest I'm gonna I'm gonna get through a drink on him. Yeah, is this plan? No, no, no And who's the other dude mark summers and who's not like summers? Double dare thank you. I'm loading stuff now watch now watch how angry Bert What's he he's watching watch he's they didn't have this plan by the way Hey Bert hit some hard Yo That hurt Look at the torque he got in that right hand. I want you to watch this again that. Bro, he got hit into that. He was fucking right. And at the end, if you walked, he'll go, hey, Karat told me here tomorrow night. Hit the end.

1:08:40Let's look at this frame by frame. Well, he's a fucking football player, too. Look at, bro, he clocked that dude. Look at his face. Look at that freeze frame. That guy should be a shame to that look for the rest of his life. How dare you? How dare that face? Right there is scary. If I was friends with that dude, I'll be like, you know, you're not going to I'm gonna do that. He's gonna kill you, bro. Look at the torque you got in there. Yeah, well, let's say you're a football player. Bro, that was like, and I'm backstage going on. I'm like, I'm going on, you know, like, no, we're gonna be, we're gonna cut you.

1:09:11Actually, I just tell, let's say that guy's got a great chin. They're fun. He's smiling. Yeah, he's better smile. He just got bitch slapped. He took a great shot. I want to say, like, he says, we'll be right back with, no, tomorrow night, I'll back here and then, I'm gonna fuck you. He's gonna be right back right after this message. We'll be right back. That was salt and pepper, Jay. Yeah. Another guy took way too much shit. Jay. They gave him so much of a hard time. It's just like when Larry Holmes became the heavyweight champ of the world after Muhammad Ali, everybody hated Larry Holmes. When Jay Leno took over after Johnny Carson, they got a lot of grief for that.

1:09:48For no reason. He was put on great shows too. Super nice guy. The riding was great. Never is. No. I always had a good time talking to him. Always a nice guy. He's a nice guy and like what he should have been doing all along is really what he's doing now. Is his car shows? Right. Because like that guy, if you talk to him about cars, he's so entertaining, he loves cars. Like that he loves them. I mean he knows more about cars probably than anybody else ever met in my life. He's got an insane collection and he likes everything. You know what, it's all dots in there. And then he's at a fire truck.

1:10:21Yup, yup, yup. He's just bike a genuine fan of automobiles and the way it talks about is so entertaining Yeah, no because that's really what he wants to do and he's also crazy, right because he's he's he's Unstoppable so he He he fell off that cliff or whatever the fuck it was right you heard about this. Yeah, what happened I just talked to him and Vegas and he went and went and saw him and I said how you doing? He gets you know I said you could still see like a You know a little bit of bruising because it was right it was about two weeks after he had had the fall. Oh Jesus he was out in about two weeks later.

1:10:56What do you mean he did the show that night? What? Yes he fell. Did he get a concussion? He said he how he said he says he's saying he was going corral next to the you know Lakinta. I said first thing I said to him I said are you okay? He said my question what the fuck are you saying to Lakinta? And he goes you know we all can't have say the fourth eat in the end. I said no but really what what happened? He said I didn't spend any money. He walked out of the looking to it. It was a little hill like not even like a hiking. He went hiking With like slippery shoes on probably he said the golden crown He's probably wearing dress shoes.

1:11:32I'm gonna go correct right and his denim and so he went He just looked it was a little deeper than he thought and he slept fell and hit his eye You know right in the thing where it's bad so he went into got his golden crown You know you Jay Leonard, you know, you know, thank you. I think went got his food went to the club And went on stage bleeding that's so crazy And I said what do you mean? I said what do you say what do you mean a show must go on? He's a him. He's a he's a I just I just hold you know the mic with the fan to have a merry guy that merry guy in the crowd and I'm like I It's just amazing to me.

1:12:05He told my nail -eyed cancel. He told this insane show in saying story rather of a show that you have had to do with a priest and a mob guy where the mob guy was yelling at the priest and swearing and Jay's like yelling and swearing like doing the thing, you know, like saying what the mob guy said, I was like seeing Jay Leno talk like that was like what? Right, you're talking like that. Yeah, he came to say dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang it. What are you gonna do? That's crazy. He was doing this super hyper violent Italian mob guy screaming obscenities at this priest and Jay Leno's yelling it out.

1:12:45So fucking amazing story. And was it a show? Yeah, it was a show that he was doing, like, you know, before he made it. It was like back in the day. He did some sort of a show where, you know, I think it was like a benefit or something like that was it was a priest involved. And then the mob guy got mad at the priest who was yelling at him. It's a fucking hilarious story. But that guy doesn't spend any of his tonight show money. Yeah, he lives all entirely off his breath. Yeah, which is crazy. Right. So he's just stockpiling it all at the Luckinta in lucky that's right Like someone needs a tell of like he money's fun coupon this episode is brought to you by Warner Brothers pictures one Battle after another is coming to theaters September 26th Don't miss legendary writer director and producer Paul Thomas Anderson teaming up with Leonardo DiCaprio for the first time ever alongside award -winning actors like Sean Penn, Tiana Taylor and Benicio Del Toro in this hilarious action -packed adventure following Bob Ferguson and ex -revolutionary on a mission defined as missing daughter and overcome the consequences of his past.

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1:15:22That's express VPN .com slash Rogan. and if you're watching on YouTube, get your four free months by scanning the QR code on -screen or by clicking the link in the description. You should be just scrolling it away. I don't want to thumb with them, I have thumb with them. But people that started out poor, which is like basically most comics, once you start making money, it's hard to believe that you're ever gonna keep making money. You start panicking. You're like, oh my God, I gotta save this. I gotta save it. Yep. And then if you carry that into your 70s and 80s, somebody should sit you down and have a talk with you.

1:15:54I'm your financial advisor and now's the time to go crazy. Yeah, you're good. You should be looking in your cane. You should probably buy more cars. Like let's spend so an issue as your final. I think it's our expenditure as you're trying to drive it. Let's get you a nice car. Yeah, let's do something. You start buying stuff. You should have way more cars. That's great. You're right. Is there anything you save enough for, bro? This is the end time. This is that, yeah. I don't, yeah. I don't have family, you know that. I know a lot of people that have a lot of kids and a lot of that you save up for them, but.

1:16:33But even them, like, oh, given the amount of money. Giving kids a ton of money is not necessarily good for them. No. Like if you look historically at people that got trust funds, it's a weird road to go down and not have any ambition or not have to have an ambition. Maybe you do have it like inherently, but for a lot of them it's like they don't have to make it. They don't have and I think that's unfortunately in this society that we live in that doesn't seem to work. Like in this society it's very difficult to not be self -sustainable, not be able to take care of yourself. And if you can't take care of yourself, you got to kind of learn how to do it.

1:17:15You can't just be constantly relying on other people because I I think it hinders your growth as a person. Absolutely. You know what I mean? I think it like fucks with you. Like I have a guy that I've ever met that comes from a family that like gives them, not every guy, but a lot of guys that I've met. That come, I've met some cool ones. They come from a family with a lot of money and they've never had a worry and they have trust funds and they never really have had a job. They're all weird. They're all weird. It's like cement that didn't get the amount of water that it needs right. You're mixing it and it's always like weird.

1:17:47Yeah, it seems like a weirdo I know too every comic artist whatever There are all their stories are the same that they came from nothing and that's in If you think about almost every comic and artist. I know they they weren't they didn't have money Did not yeah, but it's not mutually exclusive no no right right? It's not there are people that have come from great

1:18:12Right, it's a weird thing man like talent is a odd thing really is. A very weird thing. Like there's certain universal truths like you're gonna find more talent probably in in harder communities like you gotta have better rock and roll in like the dingy fucking outskirts of town like those guys are gonna be Nirvana right. But I love hearing like a Billy Joel story where you can relate to it like you know I started cutting lawns at eight years I started cutting lawns at eight years old. You know, I literally, and nowadays no kids don't do. And I'm like, yeah, I did that. I, I, I, Billy Joe was a boss.

1:18:52I just buildings and I did everything, you know, he was a boxer. He was a boxer. Yeah, Billy Joe was a boxer. Yeah, I did not know that. Yeah, I don't know how many fights that he had. I think he lost. Are you being funny? Really? Billy Joe was a boxer. Yeah, I did not know that. Yeah, I think he was good. I think he was pretty good. I mean, I think it was a good amateur level. 22 and 22. Really? Guys, how I didn't know that. Was that professional? Goldie loves. So amateur level. So I didn't know that. Yeah. Legit boxer. I just know that you broke. I did not know that. He's a guy whose music changed radically.

1:19:27Like if you go back and listen to Captain Jack, it like from Captain Jack to Uptown Girls, like, oh. Oh, you know, it's like you, like it's great music. It was a huge hit. but it's a different vibe. It's like your guy was in love now and he's got a supermodel for a wife and he's worth a billion dollars. Yeah, yeah. Captain Jack was his gritty, long, absolute story. Yeah, I was like, fuck, that's a good song. That's a great song. But you're right, you can see how their life changes and their music changes. Like you said, now he's got a, you know, uptown girl. Yeah, got money. I got a, you know, you ever heard the song, Billy the Kid?

1:20:06He's got some great fucking songs. Well, the one that I did special I just saw was, was it? Wasn't it Billy the Kid? Is that the name of that song? It's a great, I think. When they got me in this special was the entertainer. I thought that was interesting because it was ripping on, mm -hmm, it was ripping on show business. Yeah, the ballet billy kid. That is a great fucking song. My parents had that album on vinyl when I was a kid. I listened to, what year was that? 73 son. I listened to that and I was like, this is, again, this is an archaeological dig, you know? You're like going to the be gangs of certain genres of music and certain kinds of music.

1:20:50And back then, that's how you got it. You heard it on the radio and you went out and bought an album and you said, yeah, look at it. And look at the art world over the thing. Yeah, the paper, yeah, weird. But the entertainment was interesting because the record label had asked him to come up with a hit. Uh -huh. You know, that's why he wrote it that way? No, I don't know. It was just on a, I just watched, I should remember exactly how it went down, but he said, yeah, you know, they were saying they're going to, they need to hit off this album and to make this big hit. So he wrote that and when they played it to them, they're like Fuck you we're getting rid of you.

1:21:31So they got rid of them. They label dropped them because he's It's all about that The money then they take ball your money and and where they don't care about you and I'm like that's ballsy Right, they want to hit and you basically say how much you know like the luxury says 20 years Could you do something special for me? I have this big roast and how horrible the luxur is and how much they you know It just shit like what That is real album that real song and they were like no you're done. They should have just took it on the chin Look the guy became huge after that. Let's do that. We'll see you fucking dumbasses You got rid of them now they say that you got rid of me sold a billion albums now that they don't He's got some great fucking they're just the piano man the piano alone right that one song alone is right Oh, how about scenes from an Italian restaurant all right?

1:22:19Oh my god, that is a fantastic song And it's another it's a story. It's a story of people's lives. You know, and it's it's relatable. It's like it's real. It's raw. It's in again. It's like a window into the bottle of red. Right. Bottle. No, and I was just to make a joke about that. My show at bottle of red and says bottles of white. So apparently he didn't like red as much as whites. He has plural in the. He said bottle of red bottles of white. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, he, he must have had, he liked more white wine. And that's how I pick up shit like are you sure that's the lyrics or did you just No, I think I think it's no, I think it says bottle of red bottles of what you can now He got to look at a bottle of white Whatever kind of mood you're in time.

1:23:05Oh fuck. I don't know. I think you anytime Maybe I could be wrong That is a great fucking song. That's a great song Interesting. I knew it's still a bottle. It's a bottles of white right? So that's a weird way to write a bottle of whites Wine so it could be multiple kinds of white wine in one bottle. What did Jamie get in touch? I mean what I'm trying to say so blend without a bottle of white so I was under something there Right now I used to sing it go. Why is he saying that and then funny to some people don't like their grapes mixed Don't you dare serve me a blend? Some people don't want to blend.

1:23:49He's had a blend of a cabernet in Merlo. Are you fucking high? That's crazy god damn blend. I Don't want to Charden a how weird are people I'm gonna give you a little bit of this burn a little bit of that bird Okay, so to blend people that like get super down with I got a buddy who's a wine a legit wine connozure My buddy Matt, so I could call him up out of nowhere. Like I'd be at a restaurant and it sent him a picture of the wine list. Tell me what to get. He'd be like, look at it for like three seconds. He's like, this is great. What do you guys eat? He's cake bread. And he would tell you how to do it.

1:24:26But he got scammed. Well, he didn't get scammed. But there was a guy that he was friends with that was a gigantic scammer. And I don't think this guy ever got him. But what this guy was doing was they were all these wine connoisseurs. and this guy was selling really rare wine that was counterfeit. It was fake. So he'd infiltrated this thing, this like wine group, and he was a con man. And what he was doing was taking a bunch of different wines and mixing them and then trying to sell it as this like 1970, impossible bottle from Bordeaux. And so he would age the paper on the bottles and shit. And they raided his house.

1:25:09They found empty bottles everywhere and he was taking labels off of things and copy him and printing them and I had that with Loub The I do you got to get the real stuff. It's hard. You got to get it from porch rolled my house and Jesus Christ But this this document is highlighted in my eyes at least for some of those people that it's kind of bullshit Like all this you think you know the difference between right sure really good old wine But this guy just tricked you and he tricked a lot of them a couple guys he didn't trick There was one guy in particular this guy the guy was like this is trash I just say yeah one guy was like this is trash But the other guy was just raving about it also.

1:25:47Disappear any questions like what I just thought this was great I thought it was crazy like no, that's terrible. Oh He's like it was weird That's crazy, but what is the wine movie that I that that was what was the wine? Well, this was a wine documentary No, no, I'm trying to get a guy you said no more fucking Marlow. What was oh? Yes, that was that sideways. That's right. That's right. That guy came to my show Fucking Marlow. I came to my show. He's a brilliantly nice sweet guy. Oh, that's a great guy Just like in the movie. He's just so nice and he came with Here in Colken McCulley Colken's brother.

1:26:26He's great and great great. They were filming a Audi commercial or something. What's that guy's name again? You have Paul Johnny. He's so nice. He's amazing and everything. I said, could you, could you, no, I could, they, when a drink, and we want to drink and they're like, yeah, I'll take whatever you guys, we have a whole bar. I said, do you want to, I said, do you want to go to a more low and have a more low? And just his face, he was so funny. He's like, I just said it, but I didn't say like I was trying to be funny. I said, we have this we have, we have below. And he's like, I said, I'm just fucking he said no, and there was what we did a video together I said, I'm trying to think if I find some I could find a sure I'm a low with it.

1:27:07It pans over to him He's like not in fucking hell. It was just it was such a graze that you great guy They say he was greater than Howard Stern movie he was when he had prime opponents in NBC. Yeah Yeah, he was really good. I'm saying it WNBC. No, they mean B .C Yeah, yeah, he's a good good guy on top of that great guy Merlot But low got a bad name after that movie if I was in the Merlot business. I'd have been furious. Yeah, no doubt these mother fuckers Yeah, they're down playing Merlot. Yeah, I was like Merlot and then all of a sudden I had a shady opinion of it Well, you do that with the on South Park, you know, it said that was junk and like fuck You know that it was a no in a roundabout way, you know South Park they were do they everyone's paraded me as always been something stupid like It's just amazing how long it's been.

1:27:57Indian casino and it said like, carrot scalp, you know, tonight playing at the show. Who says that? It was in like Simpsons or family guys. Just for jokes. Just for jokes. South Park has been around longer than anything ever that's still good. Yeah. Like, how do they do it? I don't know. Brilliant. It's just weird that they're still so on top of it. It's, they're so driven to like still push the boundaries and make it really funny. Yeah. And it's been going on since, shit. And I got how many years? Like the first video I think was 95 or 96 or something like that, the one that they were passing around, the VHS one with Brian Boytono.

1:28:36Yeah. What year was that? Well, I think it was 95 or 96 because I remember people on news radio were passing it around. And we were like, what the fuck is this? This is crazy. 95. 95 yeah, everybody was passing around we're like this is insane It's so insane like good, and I don't think it had a home yet. I don't think it was on Comedy Central yet The first one they made was a 92 whoa Which one was that which one was that trying to see which it says which is the Brian Boy Tano Which would Brian Boy Tano do? Everybody would say we'd be walking around the news radio set going what would Brian Boy Tano do?

1:29:21And it's fucking Jesus is there and it's just it's so ridiculous. That was actually in their first movie in 99 which that came quick. The Brian Boytono thing was that was in the movie. South Park bigger longer uncut. Really? So what was the 95 one or the 94 one? So they made fun of Brian Boytono and the spirit of Christmas. So that come out 99 so I wasn't that was like the last year of news radio. I don't even know if I have a false memory now What up was the one that was uses for Santa fighting? That's the night. That's the first one. Yeah There's no Brian Boytono in that one. He says what would Brian Boytono do in that?

1:30:08But that's not the song isn't until later. Oh, right, but that's what when he says I thought it was going crazy. Larry still thought out of fake memory. It says, yeah, Stan Marsh says to Cartman, what would Brian Botano do as Jesus Battlesanta? That's right. Okay. You thought, you had me thinking I was crazy. The song was way bigger than... Right, but the show, where he says it, it was on the show. So that was the... I was like, am I losing my fucking mind? No, I know it was on the first one. But it was just so groundbreaking. And the brilliance of it was that you don't have to have it look realistic so you can get away with so much more like when when you stuff's what's her face up as asked who did he uh uh Parasel.

1:30:50Parasel, not right when he had a slot off and stuff's Parasel and up as asked it's like you can do that if it doesn't look real right like if it's like super realistic and 3D you can't do that it has to look like South Park yeah they can get away with so much they can kill kids they kill Kenny every week no complaints yep Poor fucker dies every week. Imagine if this is like a graphic 3D video that looks hyper realistic. You can do it. It has to look like complete nonsense and then we'll let you get away with almost anything. That's probably how they sold that way. Well if you think about it, they bought it that way.

1:31:29There's like levels of realism that will allow you to get away with more if it's like like less realistic, right? Like that's why we used to allow like road runner. Like and you know, while he coyote and road runner would like drop dynamite on him. Yeah, shit was always happening. He was always getting fucked up. That was okay because it was cartoons, right? But you couldn't have blood, like blood all over the place. But if you make them look so goofy, that their heads just a big circle. And they have like, and they stick on. Then you get blood all over the place. Nobody complains exactly weird, right?

1:32:08It's kind of weird. Yeah, it's like the less realistic But we know what it is they killed it can't like you kill it. Can you pass it and no one has a problem with it Which is because it's unrealistic. It's kind of weird, right? I think it's exactly how you put it Realistic it's a perfect cheat code it makes everything more funny because you never feel guilty laughing You don't matter what when cartman was in bed with Sodom who's saying or when saying Yeah. There's just so many scenes where you're like, there's no way to do this unless you have cartoons. It's brilliant. Because you wouldn't have to be able to get away with it.

1:32:44Like, the one when they skirted around drawing Muhammad, they kind of skirted around. They never drew him. They like drew that there's just like, oh, there's a truck and he's inside the truck in a bear suit. You could do things in cartoons that you just can't do in any other realm. It's a perfect medium for comedy. And you can keep the kids young forever, right? You know, they're always gonna be in high school like nobody questions In fact, they've been in high school for four years right now. It's just down. It's just they're in high school. That's how it goes That's true. Did I have to grow up?

1:33:17Shut the fuck up. Why are they gonna why they have to grow up? See if they mate now what if they did make a cartoon with the aged How many funny like god you know, but you want to see them that we look good? It'll be sad. Yeah, I'll be a fucking loser on a trailer park. Yeah, it's fun when he's the way he is now He's like a little kid. I like throwing hissy fits. It's fun. He's still a little kid. You know, you don't want to, there's certain people you don't want to see him when they get full grown or when they're over the other side of it. When things, the wheels start falling off. You know, that's what I mean though, for the special, they're end episode.

1:33:54They should do it. Yes. When it's all done, this is the final. They're all aged and they didn't have the voice quite still. What they should do is do a 3D like hyper realistic version of the show like just do it all through AI for the last episode and Have it the most violent And see how people deal how we like bro. This is exactly what we've been showing you for 40 years That will be yeah, yeah, it wouldn't be allowed to coffee. Yeah, I have something

1:34:31Sure, sir. All right, cheers to you. Bob bomb. Thank you for having me. My pleasure Hmm, I'm looking forward to seeing you on Chilton. You too. That's gonna be really fun. Yeah, that's fun I you know less than I done. I might last time that didn't want this episode is brought to you by simply safe A good security system is more than just a blaring alarm that goes off after the fact You want to stop intruders before they break in after all? Luckily simply safe can help with that Unlike other systems, they're proactive about security. Their active guard outdoor protection plan is designed to stop crime before it happens.

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1:35:46that's 50 % off at simplysafe .com slash Rogan. There's no safe like simply safe. This episode is brought to you by Morgan and Morgan. Morgan and Morgan have recently filed a lawsuit against several major food companies. The lawsuit claims these companies designed and promoted certain ultra -processed food products in ways that may have contributed to health issues in children, including type 2 diabetes and fatty liver disease, both of which were nearly unheard of in children 40 years ago, but now affect the lives of thousands of American kids. If your child has been diagnosed with one of these conditions, you can visit forthepople .com slash JRE to learn more.

1:36:26Morgan and Morgan is committed to fighting for the people. They've helped thousands of families seek justice against big corporations and they're ready to fight for you too. Learn more at forthepople .com slash JRE. That's F -O -R -ThePeople .com slash JRE. Morgan and Morgan. visit us at forthepople .com slash share e for an office near you. Prior results do not guarantee a similar outcome. Attorney advertising. Did you do it at the club? Or did you do it at the club at the club? At the club. Nice. Yeah. It was fun and was loud and intimate and it was just, you know, I told before I did I said I'm not into critiquing people because I've been shit on my whole career.

1:37:08I don't want to I don't want to tell these guys what they're doing right or wrong coming from me. Really he said no, no, that's not how it works. You just play just be you just be yourself and it was great because I could just You know if there was something specific that I thought was gonna wrong or I could say it and I'm You know very nice way, but most of them were they're good. This guy's come out and they got their minutes They pop them out. You know, of course you see a couple right, you know the first 10 seconds in you're like, okay It's already not funny, you know, whether are they're just so nervous there's you can see the mic shaking, you know.

1:37:43There's someone have a really quality written jokes. Oh yeah, there's a lot of fun. Really, really. And there's also because of Killtony, people realize that if they can put together a minute, it can change their whole fucking life. Your whole fucking life. Look at campatters and just got a ton of that. Yeah. I mean, look at these guys. They're killing me. I didn't believe them. William Montgomery's killing it. You know, there was a couple there out that night that they were really good. Yeah. And I think Tony tapped me onto the chair at one point. It's next guy, you know. He came out and I was like, holy shit, he was solid.

1:38:18Yeah, already pop. He's killing it, you know, already pop. There's a lot of these guys that do that show. They do one minute and then they go, we'd love to have you back. And then they come back. They do another minute. The crowd remembers them from the old show. Also, they have like 25 ,000 Instagram followers. Then it's a hundred and then it's 150. Like this thing start rolling. It's like, oh, you have a real pathway. If you work hard, if you really fucking focus and really just really dial it in, really work on your material, really working Do as many sets around town as you can. You might be able to do this for a living and if you can, it's the greatest fucking job in the world So there's already a couple that I've been watching there.

1:38:57There's more now than ever before. It used to be it was like there was a bunch of like bad people and every now and then someone would come on with promise. Now it seems to me to be more slanted towards people that are good. It's like a high level or a high percentage rather than people that are good. Then I thought I was there, they were really good. Yeah, the lot of them really good. And it's like, again, there's a pathway. And when you came out and I said, and it was kind of funny how he, the microphone was up high because the guy before him was like six, five or something. This guy comes out and he's like four feet.

1:39:31So it's already funny because they bring him out and he goes to grab the mic and he just he takes it and puts it behind him and takes the mic and goes into his bed and I'm like So it got done. He said him He's how I said that was great. I said the only I would have done in the beginning. You already had a laugh the microphone was you know, so Reference said at least reference it don't you know to do a thing? He said he goes there without that'd be a prop and I said no, it's already a fucking prop It's not you didn't bring it. He didn't make it. It's there. It's a prop that's usable I mean every comic uses it for the you know everything from a guitar Right that short first change on the beach.

1:40:12I mean comment on it everybody So I said no, no, no, you don't have to make a prop joke. I said just reference it You should at least reference to it like like this is already not going well in something and because the crowd was waiting for something and he didn't do it and then after the show he said I'm gonna use that that's good I said well you have to follow a tall guy every time for it to work yeah don't say that he set the microphone right high right like that that's I said yeah and only work because it was in prompt it it happened right right and then he goes and I told him that I said you don't don't do it unless it happens you don't want to have it set that way right and it's dumb well I think for some people they don't know how to start you know and they're doing something like that.

1:40:53The starting is hard for me. Not just that, it's like this overwhelming anxiety. You have one minute and you can't believe you're on a stage in front of this. Look, a lot of them is their first show. Some of them first show Madison Square Garden. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Imagine first time in one state. No, no. Madison Square Garden. And your bombing. Man, I didn't know they felt people. So they do that same format with the men through with the Madison Square Garden. Uh -huh. And it's 100 % random. People have tried to get people on and Tony won't do it. He's like, no, no, no. That's not how it works No, what we do is we everybody just signs up and I reach into that bucket and I pull out names and Geez you can't rig it you can't rig it and so I knew that part of it But I didn't know they didn't mess with square guard.

1:41:38They do it that way everywhere And the masses were well one thing to do in mass square garden is they have like a legends bucket So they have a bunch of people backstays like Jim Norton, you know, big J. Oaker's in a lot of people did it when I was there David tell and then to pull it out and then David tell come up and do a minute of standup and everybody goes crazy or do five minutes or whatever. But he makes it so that even if someone is terrible for the first time it's a limited and then you have Shane Gill is right and whoever else next to him making fun of it for you the next 15, 20 minutes, it's gonna be fucking hilarious.

1:42:15And it's also you get to see like, oh, this is a crazy thing to do. Like this idea, you're just gonna stand up in front of people and talk and hopefully it'll be entertaining. Yeah. Right. And sometimes it just goes horribly wrong. And everybody's like, boo. You're like, ah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, I know it's a bad thing. They're not I was there. Everyone was pretty cordial, but I could see it going. Well those New Yorkers don't fuck around, man. And if you start bombing a little bit, they smell blood. Yeah, no. I did a, I did a, I am, my very first time ever in New York City was at a catcher rising star.

1:42:50It was, you know, old, old, old school club. I go there and I have, it was like, it was pouring down rain or snowing, sleeties, snow rain. I remember I took my trunk and a taxi and I, I never been to New York City in a club. And I go in, there's like eight people. and I fuck and so the guys like you know what do you bring me up I wheeled my shit up I go but I don't any bombing it's worse than bombing it's just like never have nothing from a laugh nothing really yeah and I'm doing like my A shit you know I'm probably I'm probably gonna go I mean I'm got like you know the ice tray with the level so you don't you know and it kills everywhere you of nothing, fucking nothing.

1:43:37And I just go, all right, I think my opening line was I have more props and people, which I did. So that got a little laugh, but not even, right? So I said, yeah, I've got more props and fucking people here, nothing. I get done. I didn't even know what to do. I'm shaking so bad. And they said just, just, there was no comic. So I just went, all right, enjoy the next comic. And I put the guy on my own mic on a thing, because I had that. Anyway, I'm like, just tearful walking. I didn't, I was gonna leave this shit. I'm gonna get out of business, right? Am I gonna go into comedy? Sky walks by, he goes, uh, he goes, um, no.

1:44:15Leave your shit there, it's good. And he goes up, and he, like you said, murders, you know, just absolutely murders. So eight people, it was like a stadium of people laughing. And I'm like watching this, I'm like, holy fuck. It was Dennis Leary. Uh. And he, I mean, leveled eight people. I couldn't believe it. And I walked off and he could, it walked off. And he said, um, hey, man, I said, I was unbelievable. He goes, no, that shit, that fuck your shit's fucking amazing. But the thing with the, he was serious. He said that whatever the, you know, cowboy boot with the kickstand, fuck, that's great.

1:44:52Whatever it was I was doing. And I'm like, you see like fuck with me? Because I ate shit and he was, no. But I've never gotten to tell him that again if Dennis Larry watches this show That was the most cool thing a comic ever did to me just gave me a big hug He said they you were fucking great. They at crowd size that the crowd didn't suck. He just murdered them They didn't like me Well, that's a small sample you were great. You're eight people you're bombing in front of AP. Yeah, it's pretty easy It was in front of people it was horrible it happens That was one of the great things about the store as you'd get those eight people crowds sometimes the early days of the store You could you would go up, you know, if you got like 1130 spot on a Tuesday night You might go up in front of eight people that can happen yeah, cuz you probably won't really get on at 1130 Because a bunch of people stop in right do sets so by the time you get up it's probably like closer to one You know been there.

1:45:44Yeah, but those shows show you what's bullshit They show you there's something about a small crowd shows you what what you're saying is nonsense You know like sometimes you have to like figure it out you have to and the brutal thing about comedy as you kind of really have to figure it out in front of people with the openness of failing. Like, here's the thing. It's like, one of the things about Jiu Jitsu, when you learn Jiu Jitsu, it's really important to not be afraid to tap. Because if you can just open your game up and not be afraid to tap and tap, you can learn more because you don't do it tense and you do it more playfully and it doesn't mean as much to you when you get tapped.

1:46:29It sounds totally counterintuitive. But if you can just relax and not use your ego, not try to win every session, just try to figure out why you're getting caught and figure out how to avoid it. But don't be worried about tapping. Just tap. Tap whenever you get caught. And then just let your ego deal with it and then learn and move on. But you have to experience that. You have to get tapped, you have to get dominated, like you have to figure out what's good and what's bad. And I think that's the same thing, kind of there's an element of that in comedy too. You gotta like possibly fail with this idea.

1:47:06You know, like I'm gonna throw this out, I have, this is half cooked, this is a weird idea that I have, am I crazy? Like do you think, is this where we're going as a society, as this is where we're going as human beings, and there's something there and I'm trying to find it. But I got a risk not finding it. That's the only way you find it. Because there's writing on stage that you only get, there's certain lines that only come to you when you're willing to step out on stage. But you got to, you might fucking bomb. You might eat shit. You might have to transfer out of that. Like it's like you have to, it's a bouncing act.

1:47:45You might, this bit might not work at all. And then you might have to immediately figure out Segway into something guaranteed to get him back. Oh, yeah, I did the same absolutely But I I can I'll my shit. I think it's full cook I think I'm out there that I this is good It's been marinating for a while and then I'm in each shit. You're like fuck. Yeah, that was a good bit damn it For me it's more one night it works right and then the next night I just did a joke last night that they killed the night before nothing crickets. I'm like What's the same? Did you say it the same way? I? You record yourself.

1:48:16Yeah, I never listened to it Yeah, but that's the that's the thing. I said it a little differently. I fucked up before what I didn't realize I fucked up and I said something wrong and I didn't realize I said it wrong until I listen to the recording like oh I couldn't because I don't fuck words up sometimes. Sure and just like I do I talk too much You know, I really do I talk way way too much so my brain is just like on autopilot talking sometimes and well I know it's different if I if I don't say it right I'm saying if I say it the same one night it gets a great laugh some of it next I done them I don't I didn't do anything differently Yeah, but I mean I did do it.

1:48:51What I'm saying is like you you you got to listen to it You got to listen to it to to really hear because there's a lot of times where you'll say something just slightly different and that's slightly different Makes all the fuck well, but then I had one this one last. It's a brand new joke There's a big big billboard in Vegas, and it's for the Sahara pool and it's got a beautiful woman on it It's a big beautiful hot chick and it says meet me at the pool. So I put it up on the screen. I said this is my favorite billboard. Look at this. Look at meet me at the pool. It's a hot girl. And I said then you get there.

1:49:23It changes to a big gay pool party. It was like 75 ,000 dudes. It's a great picture. So I did it last night. Got a lap, but not like, it should have gotten more. Because it's like, then you get there. And they're like, Ava? Well, as anyone's, Ava, you see, you know, she was here earlier. She's probably buried under all that cock or something. Last night, it just killed. I mean, only for a minute, they're still laughing and applauding. I'm like, I didn't do anything different. It was just the mood of that audience. That does happen too. Maybe it was like you were doing better before that. So you had more momentum.

1:49:57Oh, maybe. Yeah. Sometimes that. I'm just, I don't have any momentum. You know, I just go about the busing you show. So your show in Luxor was really fun. I saw it. God, it's been a few years. I gotta check it out now. But I've had a bunch of my friends come to Vegas and see your show. It's very fun. Thank you. On Tuesdays, I do it in Spanish. It's actually really great. You speak Spanish? I dare you, some of it. Tom Saguero, do you do a, Tom Tuzan, I do Spanish night. I come at a, hey, it's an audio. Tom Saguero, who looks totally white, speaks fluent Spanish and does stand up in Spanish. Right.

1:50:31So he'll do, he'll do it in a minute. I'm gonna see him. How many dates did he do where he did you gonna do your mom's house? Yeah, do his podcast or two bears one cave. What's when you doing I'm doing With this boy. Oh, yeah, that's your mom's house Yeah, they're both real fun. I love it. It's a great example Like this births a great example what we were talking about one time We were at the improv and Bert did this joke this new joke the first set it fucking killed and this second set It didn't do nearly as well and he was confused and I had seen both sets and I said oh no It's because in the first set you said like he Was that the excuse me he was at the supermarket It's already on a special or something I wouldn't say it was like he was at the supermarket and He was standing there talking to his wife.

1:51:24He's like god. It's so cold in here and she looks at him and she goes, you are so fat. And he's like, what? She goes, your dick is hanging out. Like he didn't realize that his fly was open, his feet, he goes raw so I can't be where. He goes raw dog, he's got no underwear on and his zipper's undone. Cause like, but the joke was the way it was, like she had said it that way. Like you are so fat. Like you can't see your dick. So like the first show he nailed it, He nailed the cadence, but the second show, like something was off and he forgot to say one part of it. And I had remembered it from the first show.

1:52:03It's weird, you know, you gotta listen. You gotta listen because it's painful. You hate listening to your own voice. It's gross. You already know the jokes. You're like, shut up or I'm gonna shut up. You're so tired of listening to you talk. But you have to listen to it because if you don't, you're not gonna figure out how to do it the best way you can. Yeah. I think. No, I think that's a great, I just, But there's a lot of people in front of me that don't do it that way. I really want to see my myself again Yeah, everybody's got their own process now, you know this whole I know some guys who are really funny that don't record any other shows And they don't write at all they just go up a lot and they have ideas and they work them out on stage They're really really funny.

1:52:43Yeah, I I am kind of in that with my more of my stand -up than the props should I build But the stand -up I kind of just I have like a little bullet point. I don't write it out When you do prop stuff like how do you even come up with ideas like what do you do you like sit down with like a whiteboard and go what can we do? I know I never have written I've never sat down and that I'm gonna write today. So how do the gags like come they come just like a lot of like a lot of them happen by just In a conversation or a story or something Sometimes I'll see a prop and I'll or a prop meaning nothing's not a prop yet.

1:53:23It's just a thing I told it, see, or I'll see you thing and I'll go, there's something funny about that, you know, and I think about it and then I go, oh, there was, I was at a home depot. I mean, I made this like yesterday, I've even done it, you've never even tried this yet, I'm gonna do it done telling me tonight. I've never done it ever, but I think it's funny. The guys get drunk and they punch walls all the time, right? Because I had a friend backstage, I said, what happened to your hand? And he's like, oh, yeah, fuck. I said, what'd you do? He's like, I punched a wall. I said, you punched a wall?

1:53:58I'm like, you're the fuck? And I just thought, I said, I thought this should be a stud finder. Like, because he hit a stud. So I said, this should be a beer with a stud finder. So you can find that right for your drug. You fucking bitch. And yeah, so I made it. So it looks incredible, but it's so silly, But it's it's it will be a crowd pleaser cuz yeah, it was b b b b Yeah, you're fucking bitch. You wait Yeah, you have a hesitate to fuck your hand up, but so that's sometimes with that way sometimes I just It'll come to me. I don't know I had a I was watching a cartoon. I think years ago. There was a there was these paper cups string and there was a telephone and they were in a tree.

1:54:46Hey Susie and you know what's going on, Bobby? And I'm watching it and I'm like, this is an old version of the cups. We need a new version, right? Cause that's just two cups. So I said we have to have another cup that comes out for call waiting. And it was like, that was my free bird. I mean, I did that. I came up with, it was my closing bit. I'd hold some of the front row. I, what's your name? And they go, hey, I said, And you seem so close, you know, the strings, and she's holding it. And I'm like, what's your name? And she's saying her name, and I say, hold on, I have another call. Hello? I got a call back.

1:55:18I'm talking to whoever she was, Tracy. And it was just murder, because no one expected, you know, call waiting to come out. And it was, you know, where I can call waiting came out. So you had a second cup. And then I had a three cup for conference calling that came out of that. So it was like, boom, boom, conference calling. Then I'd throw it, I'd say call forwarding, and I'd throw it. And then I had a clear cup that was for caller ID. I said I know you're there pick up I can see you so it was like it was like a bam bam bam, you know I'm really good prop that turned into like a like a routine It would be funny.

1:55:49I was trying to say those things today people like what? No, no, no, that's like no, that's a no, that's a it's a long that's a carrot classic I call them once and are like, you know, I do that I do a thing sometimes in the show where I do carrot classics Yeah, I see this stuff for people that grew up with me in the 90s You'll remember some of these and I do like the ice tray that has a level and it's great The biggest laugh comes when I go half the crowd is knowing a fucking ice tray is I mean that gets the biggest laugh Cuz no one has an ice tray But the the things still funny. They're like oh that's I get this clever.

1:56:20Don't people still have ice trays Well if you live in a yeah, you're living like a trailer no regular houses like ice train Yeah, well you both they might have new ones now with the big cube ones Yeah, if you don't want an ice machine in your freezer thing, yeah, you can just so maybe that joke's still relevant I think it's normal. I think it's I have fucking ice trading. I have ice trace, too I use them Sometimes I see when you're gonna put it back in you gotta leave it. Yeah But there's certain things that people just like pages make a page or joke today like what? That's great. Yeah, yeah, I mean I remember when I I Technological jokes like if you think about like jokes about technology when you date them It's so weird.

1:57:02I used to have a joke about texting I'm like why are you making me read? I'm like call me you're on a phone. It's the best way to communicate Yeah, call me like why are you making me fucking read? This is so weird. I'm like a taxi for presses to get an ass That was back. Yeah, that you had text no right right. We get yeah, I know a flip phone rather Yeah, we get to make a seven upside down in a page or yeah, hello It was the most annoying people that would want that's so great. Why are you making? Why are we doing this so dumb and I would just call them back You couldn't text Joey D as he would yell at you.

1:57:31It would fucking he'll text you now But dude for like seven eight years Joey would fucking yell you Joey was the last one to get a cell phone He had a last one to get a phone too. I didn't get one Joey had a pager until like the year 2000 That's great. I was a little more than that. He's fucking kept that page forever, man. And you'd have to call his fucking page. That's great. He was a wild boy. He was fun. He was just such a fun dude. But if you did not call him, he would get angry. He was, I'm insecure. I want to hear your fucking voice, Dr. Faka. Why are you fucking reading text messages? Making me fucking text you like a little girl.

1:58:12What are you doing? and him and Red Band would get into it because Red Band loves texting. So Red Band was like one of the first guys to text. He texted you back in the, doodoo doodoo days. You know when you press it four times, get an S. And then our member, people got those side kicks. Remember you're the coolest side kick is gonna keep more. Remember that? And some of their side kicks got hacked. Right, didn't like Paris Hilton again, didn't some cooter pictures pop up because her sidekick got hacked something along those lines. Like that was something like that. There's probably from that.

1:58:46Or something happened where people stole their sidekicks and got something happened. Wasn't there something about that? Some sort of a privacy concern with the sidekicks back in the day. I don't know about that. I think they broke in there. Their sidekick. Yeah. There's also, there was strategic releases of stuff back then. like when they would accidentally have a photographer looking at their vagina. I think that's the car. You don't know it's that photographer on his knees. Look at the camera pointing. That's so crazy. Nobody has a camera pointing up. So weird. Yeah. Like, come on. Like I would go to jail.

1:59:25That's probably illegal. Probably. Illegal. And meanwhile, you don't have any underwear on. That seems crazy. Like, why do they have pictures of your pussy on the internet? On purpose. Did you use that on purpose? You did, but it's really, it's smart. I mean, if you want to market yourself, and just get more popular, so more people know your name, it worked. Right. We're talking about them right now. But that was like a brief moment. People don't remember pussy gate, because there was a time where these high level celebrity type people were accidentally showing their pussy. Whoopsies. Here's my pussy.

2:00:01It's just out there in the breeze, just nothing but a curse. So we're over raw pussy out there in the wild Clubs at fucking award shows wild pussy. See I said I never say that word on stage ever pussy Yeah, because of Prince out of respect. We had a respect for Prince No, I just never have and I think it was Last night not now listen night for last. I don't know what was the crowd was just I don't know they were crazy And I don't know someone yelled something out and I said boy I got no I said I'm gonna just do I did a horrible Pro it was a it was a bud light bottle You know you look one of those metal ones.

2:00:47Mm -hmm. I had these these legs Put on it like that. I saw and it's hilarious looking. I said I made a bud light so guys will drink it again You know it's just and the guys the guys like someone yelled at I don't get it. I said it's Pussy like how do you not get the joke? It's too leg spread the beer goes like this in the legs go I said see you're eating pussy and it was just like the crowd was like I care top can't say pussy They just didn't I said no, it's okay. I said put no, no, no, no, no, don't say it again No, they could I said no, no, no, no, it's there thinking don't say it again. I said no pussy You can say it but I said now that I've said that though We've topped it.

2:01:30I mean, right? You can't top when she say pussy. You can't top it. So they're like, oh, they laughed. I'm like, you know, I'm now fucks nothing. I said pussy. So we've reached the plateau of raunchy at the show, the caretops show, because it's more silly. I mean, there's an edge to it. But do you swear whenever you feel like it? Yeah. You just don't need to. Yeah. But I do it for some parts that I don't need to. But I never say pussy. Fun. Swearing's fun. People that don't want you swear that that always makes me that was like the bill cause me thing He was always angry people. Yeah, I remember that Richard.

2:02:02I'm Richard. Yeah, I would Eddie Murphy. It was one of the greatest bits The people Till Bill now Because you can hear it in priors voice. No, yeah, you know great. That's yeah, yeah, he brilliant right? Great, great prior. Oh my god. Just brilliant. Oh my god. My parents took me to see him live in the Sunset Strip when it was on the movie theater. I was like 15, 16 years old. That's great. It was incredible. I couldn't believe how funny it was. I will never forget this. It was the first moment where I realized like what stand up can do. Because this guy was on stage and just talking. It was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my life.

2:02:44Ever. I thought about all the movies that I had seen that were really funny movies. And I was like, there's nothing that's this funny. And this guy's just talking. I was looking around the theater. I'll never forget this man. And there was people just going like this, just throwing their body up and down while they're laughing, holding their body. Like, oh my God, oh my God, just dying laughing. I was like, this is incredible. He's just talking. It's incredible how funny this is. Yeah, that's a groundbreaking special. Yeah, when you're 15, you're like, No way! And you're right, and you're right, and seeing people like you said, physical, laughing like that, like, you don't see that often.

2:03:25Dying, like they couldn't handle it. I did open for Steve Harvey one time in Birmingham, Alabama, and I get there, I set up all my stuff, and I never met him. This is a year or so ago. I had like a trunk, you know, I didn't have, I had like 30 props, and a third of them were really good. You know, I kind of just opened it. I get there and I do the first thing, and it steeps us. You know, you ever worked a black crowd? I was like, no, only like all black crowd. I said, no, I'm just pouring in front of black people. He says, no, no, all black crowd. I said, we'll be all black, right? So yeah, all black crowd.

2:04:06I didn't know, they would go one way or the other. He just said if they stand up and they start going like they're not leaving. They're standing up Vert to when they laugh. I was like Anyway, go out there and I I do okay for a bit and then I did one. I don't what it was But they all got up and they were like it looked like they were leaving But they were that's that's how they they were like you said they were just rejoicing They're like ah and I just I never I couldn't believe it And I came off and he's like nice, nice set. And I'm like, that was so much fun. They were so into the show. And I said, I don't know how he's gonna follow that because I did really, I did really good.

2:04:49It's proud. I really did. I thought to myself, he's not gonna, you know, that fucker, that guy, you know, while Steve is sure. I know it was his crowd, but paint was peeling off the club. It was so loud. It was so piercing loud in there and that's another again. I thought I'm not in comedy. Whatever I'm in I'm not in that What he did is a comedy with Bernie Mac. That was like Bernie Mac in his prime Bernie Mac brilliant. Oh my god. Bernie Mac. Bernie Mac. He was so funny. He was so powerful on stage Just like sometimes you see someone performing Yeah, everything his eyes alone just is punchlines charisma.

2:05:29Yeah, pop. Yeah, yeah, pop It just was funny. There's some dudes just know how to just to hit it just right. Yeah Yeah, I use that way. Oh my god. It was so funny. I mean that whole ever a tour That's kind of interesting that no one's done that since right there's been like the Kings of Comedy and there's blue collar Right, there haven't been really a lot of those movie tours like that There hasn't been because they were tours and then they made films right right Kings of comedy How many films did they make they made at least one right yeah? How many Kings of comedy comedy specials did Kings of comedy make?

2:06:06So then blue collar did a couple right to or how many they do Specials yet, but they towards crazy like crazy, but they did specials and They all went on to tour to yeah, but There's hasn't been like one There hasn't been you're right now interesting. It's funny But it's also like everybody's already touring This is like there's more people doing arenas now than I think have ever ever I mean not even it's unbelievable It's weird. It's but it's what we're talking. We just we're fully came to my show about a month ago Joe, of course killing it. Oh, he's always doing it. I can't he just said to me He's just backstage was family and he said I'm just Well, casually said he said what are you doing on you know February of something I said I'm probably working because I'll have you come so far because I'm like.

2:07:02Oh, what's going on so far? He's like me Yeah, I said you what are you going there for he's like Me like to perform I just it just blew me away. I'm like you're playing so far. He's like yeah, he's been doing a really Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. It's already sold out. Yeah, I'm like He's so casual. Yeah, come to so fight like he's gonna go see the stones He's like no, I'm going to see me Nate bar gots. He's another one like that. He's doing a reen is everywhere Is this super normal casual hang out with? Football stadium which ones do the football stadium? Yeah, yeah, oh, that's a great one to combination.

2:07:42Yeah, that's a great one too. Yeah, you can't go wrong fluffy does L .A by himself right doesn't need to do the Dodgers stadium by himself yeah so insane insane yeah fluffy is a giant following I remember when we were at the ice house he had the record for the most amount of shows sold out in a row and like that plaque on the wall there look at these guys holy shit so five stadium god damn Jesus that's nuts yeah man they're killing it this is playing the crackers on the shank kill us is killing it like that Tony's killing it like that it's pretty the Notre Dame stadium last night Who did Shane Oh my god, oh my god, that's incredible.

2:08:27That's incredible holy shit Whoo Fun time fun time for comedy birds doing giant places. So girls doing giant places. It's really wild. It's wild to see Yeah, I'm gonna meet him on Monday. Who, which one? Tuesday. Tom. Oh, you never met him? I don't think so. Oh. I don't think so. I'm just kidding. I don't know. I don't know. He's like, I'm not under 87 pounds now. Oh, really? Dude, he was at the club. Did you see him? No, I was just talking from the photos. He looks so skinny. Dude, he looks great. He looks great. He was at the club the other night. I'm like, dude, you look fucking great. I go, what do you way?

2:09:07He goes, 187. He has been 187 since he was like in high school. Oh, good for him. Yeah, but he's like healthy. He's not like a ozamp. Yeah, just that was it was it had a good joke. Gaffigan, he makes me laugh. He said, I want my meet and greet and my fan said to me, ah, you look, are you okay? I get that, I'm okay. Yeah, you okay. He says, yeah, I'm fine. Why? He says, you look sick. He's like, no, I, no, I just lost weight and she goes, oh, is that a Zempek? He goes, no, not a Zempek, I'm on the other one. The other job. But it's like, if you, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're have muscles, you're on steroids.

2:09:47If you're, if you're skinny, you're on a Zempek. Can anyone be happy with anybody just looking good? You know what? No one's happy with that. God, you look good. What are you on? No, I'm not nothing. The only time you're gonna find people that are happy when you're doing good is if they're doing good. So if they're going good, then they get to say, hey, Karen, you're looking great, man. You're looking great because they don't, feel threatened. Yeah, you look good. So some people do, they feel threatened by other people doing well. So they don't they want. Oh, is that pick? Yeah, doing those epic.

2:10:16I mean, I would die if I took a snow. Fuck where that guy has the willpower to lose that weight. Right. Yeah. He's a pussy. Right. And then they feel better. They feel better about themselves. Yeah. Because they're life. Interesting. That's a lot of people. That's a giant chuck of the population. That's why you find that. Yeah. It's funny. Like I hear my friends down. Like, look at her. Yeah, I said, maybe she's just taking care of herself. Maybe she's doing, she's eating apples and doing yoga. How can you do that? Also, some people, it's really gonna help them. If you're 600 pounds, it's probably a good idea.

2:10:49And what my friend was telling me, my friend, Brigham was telling me, who actually runs a pharmacy. He's like, the issue is the dosage, first of all, that people are getting these enormous doses. And, you know, variable by body weight, they should probably be getting a much lower dose. And he's saying they're showing now that if you mix it with certain peptides I think it was IGF1 is that what he said? Like you said IGF1 that if you mix it with certain peptides It eliminates the muscle loss and the bone loss and so what you do is you if you get on one of these things If you're overweight you're really struggling and you just need something to just get you back on track The idea is that you could get on this and then and use it as like a kick start to a healthy lifestyle.

2:11:35Okay, now you've dropped 30 pounds, you feel much better, right? Okay, you've been eating really good, right? Now let's get off this fucking nonsense that you're on that's making you lose your appetite and let's now just maintain your body weight and just keep eating healthy and it'll go off. Like if you just do it the right way, it'll, you'll continue to progress. You know, you don't have to stay on that. No, it's good. Long term is kind of sketchy. Like I don't know what are you doing to you. It's like, what is the actual GLP1 chemical? Whatever you want to call it, medication. What does it actually do?

2:12:13What does this peptide actually do that makes you lose your appetite? Because that's essentially what it's doing. You're supposed to just occurb your appetite, right? Which is the last thing I ever want to hear about. I fucking love appetite. I love you. I am appetite. Yeah. We, we have in the airport here, I told people, my sister, she was telling, where's the best barbecue place? Barber? Yeah, I don't want to hear. Barber, you're thinking about Barber. I lose my appetite. You can go fuck yourself. I love appetite. So regulates appetite by acting on the brain's hypothalmus to promote feelings of fullness and satiety.

2:12:44And by slowing down the rate of which food leaves the stomach, gastric emptying, it also influences the brain's reward system, reduces cravings for high calorie food, and dampening the motivation to eat. These combined effects contribute to a reduced overall energy intake and a longer lasting feeling of fullness after meals. I think it's like everything else, man. Like you could probably use it responsibly and it can probably help you if you're really obese. But I think there's way too many people that are hopping on it that just need a little discipline. Just get a little discipline. But that doesn't mean that some people shouldn't use it.

2:13:21Right? And if they can figure out how to do it right with like peptides, then okay, maybe maybe it's a healthy way for you to get into a good lifestyle, but the real thing is get and get healthy. That's the real thing. Right. And it is predominantly made for people to diabetes, I think, but then they found out that it was exactly. It would help people that were obese. Exactly. Which, like you said, and it's a huge money maker. It's going me. It's going me. It's going me. Make it some money on stuff. I just eat and throw up. That's what I do. But see, that's not easier. That's one that I don't have a problem with people making money off of.

2:13:53I don't have a problem then making money off of any of them. Let me be real clear. But this one is like maybe like overall benefit if done correctly. There's so many people out there that are fucked, man. There's 500 fucking pounds and they don't know how to stop. And they go to counseling. You see the shows they have on their gone. They think about getting their stomach state bold and it is an addiction just like gambling. Just like anything else. you need some help sometimes. And maybe that's what they need. Need a little boost. Just something, something to fucking get you out of this terrible state and move you into a place of healthy.

2:14:32And then you'll feel better. This is a problem with like, you'll think better. You'll be nicer. You'll have a better life. You'll have more energy to do the things you like to do. There's no downsides to being healthy. There's zero downsides. You know, the only downside is it sucks. It's a lot of hard work. But once you get there, once you get there, the feeling of satisfaction of having accomplished something, like getting your body into a condition where it's like healthy, and you can do stuff. You can, you know, take a fucking yoga class. You can do CrossFit. You can do stuff. It's physical.

2:15:08It works well. Or just get implants like I did. It's a lot. Yeah. There's this one guy who got like the most implants. Oh, I know anybody. Yeah, let's see that. You're gonna have to hold it. You're gonna see that guy? Yeah. No, that's really creepy, isn't it? Someone need to talk to him a long time ago. Oh, Mike, whatever you do. Mike's like, I'm like, Mike's like, Mike, Mike, Mike. You look crazy. I don't know if you got a mirror in your fucking house. Yeah, no, God damn it. But that's the thing with people when they start doing that kind of stuff, they don't know when to stop. You know, and it becomes addictive.

2:15:43Just like eating becomes addictive or gambling. You get addicted to just fucking with your friend. That guy, there he is. Oh, damn. He's got a backing plant, tight. 21G. $21 ,000, do a backing plant? It does look like he's got crazy lats. I'd be like, that guy must be a rock climber. Right? If you saw that, that guy's jacked. Look how jacked he is. All the way down to his wrists and you're like, hey, why are those wrists on that body? That's crazy. Something's wrong. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, he looks great for like whatever it is. The boobs are odd. But there's some part of your brain is like, what is going on?

2:16:23Does he have fake abs too? I don't know. Those are great fake abs. If those are fake abs, let me see that again. When there, it looks real. That looks normal. But one of the ones that you just showed earlier look like okay are those just real abs? Because if you could if you could get those abs if those are real You could have done the whole thing you could have done the whole thing fellow Did that what he's gotten done? I'll see if you admit oh no, he totally admits to it right oh yeah I think that's this whole thing. Yeah, he's letting every now. It's not like nope No, no, you just keep blessing me under the knife more than 190 times.

2:17:02Oh, that's normal 340 procedures. Well, that seems totally sane Hey, just how many what is it like what kind of damage are you doing to your body just going under 190 times 190 times you went under starting at age 18 whoa So as soon as he got out of the house, fuck you, mom and dad. Yeah, I'm kind of, I'm got orange cones around his bed. I'm getting lads, getting lads. He doesn't, but he looks like he's a small frame guy. He doesn't look like that. Exactly. You get down to his wrist. You're like that guy's the third person. This is insane. The wrist was weird. Yeah. Like, I'm not admitting abs saying he did everything else.

2:17:43Oh, um, yeah. I'll just look. Okay. Well, if that's true, and it may be true, they might not be able to do abs back then. I don't. I think they I know they do abs because they do that sculpting thing. Yeah, where they sculpt the fat away And it makes look I have a guy looks like they don't look like that guys abs. I have a guy those are pretty good But that the other guys. Oh, that's that crazy guy that guys had a lot of those things too. So that's fake abs Yeah, those look real But that that like I'm saying like if somebody just talked that dude into lifting weights hooked on the look What is it?

2:18:17I think those are his real abs, which are pretty good. Like he could have got a tight swimmer's body instead of what he did. Oh, Jesus Christ. They also do a sculpting thing, which didn't mean something. And plain, you know what they're like, right? They expose, they cut all the fat away. So it exposes more of the abdominal area. Abdominal sculpting character. I think I had that tomorrow before Saguora. Tight. You're going to have to get drained. I have to have these tubes coming out. side leaking pus yeah because you just had a wound but they cut your fat away because you want to look better yeah I like yeah no I have to do this work out Jesus Christ people do a crunch your body is who you are right if you have like a little bit of a gut it's because you've been fucking off that's just it you live a good show it to the world like this is who you are let it go you're living good you got a little gut if you don't like it lose weight yeah I just don't know You need a Zampic.

2:19:16Maybe somebody does. Like he said, someone that really obese probably would help them. Dude, we're just about four or five years away from there being able to genetically engineer you anyway. They're going to be able to like a little bit of obesity. Obesity is going to be out the window probably. At least with people who have the money for the procedure, they're probably just fucking lay paced around your body. Fat will burn away and you'll fucking... Come and look like Chris Evans, Captain America. Yeah. That's going to happen, dude. It's going to happen. Yeah, well, they're already doing weird stuff that's beneficial to people.

2:19:52They're already figuring out how to splice genes and turn off gene expressions across certain diseases. Yeah, that would be it. And they're getting involved in some really wild research when it comes to manipulating your genome. And once it really gets good, once they really start, you know, curing certain diseases and figuring stuff out and they ratchet up and they can start, they'll start going, who wants to be good looking? That is easy, easy. It was a giant dick who wants the biggest ass. That's right. Yeah, it's just gonna 100 % people are gonna all look like cartoons. We're all gonna be hard to do.

2:20:33Yeah, it's gonna be, yeah. It will all look like that. We're all gonna look like Thor and the woman will look like prime Jennifer Lopez. The whole world's hot. I mean, if it's fun, it's fun. It's fun time. It's fun time. Everybody gets to play. Everybody's here. You met how much it must suck to just unfortunately be born really unattractive. You know, like there's people that got a terrible role of the dice in life. You know, they got weird. I'm right here for God's sake. You're a normal person. You're a normal person. You're a normal person. You're a normal person. You're a normal person. people like you and I, like elephant Titus man, that guy.

2:21:09Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Imagine something like that where you could just completely change it. And all of a sudden it looks like Ken. Yeah. Why wouldn't you do that? Why wouldn't everybody get a chance to be hot? What's it going to be like if everybody's hot? Fun. It's going to be fun, dude. It's going to be awesome. Everybody gets to play like that. It's going to be fun. Everybody's hot. It's going to be great. And what if they figure it out? What's wrong with people's brains? like, oh, we thought that you just had to let people experience life and figure out their issues and make mistakes and maybe go to jail and then get out.

2:21:41No, no, no, no, no. We can just rewire brains. Rewire everybody's brain. So everybody's like really calm and really cool and kind and compassionate. And you have to sign up for it. It's the compassionate program and everybody has to get get the updated software. That's great. They will all be super sweet to each other. We're going to have to do it. Yeah, it is suffer. Yeah, everyone's gonna be hot. I have a suffer update tonight. Everyone's gonna be nicer and everyone's gonna be nice. It's gonna be a human having all their hair. They're gonna muscles and then all the inventions will cease. Yeah, instantaneously.

2:22:13It will never invent a single thing after that. There will be no more music. Yeah, everyone's gonna be hot. There's no motivation whatsoever for you to ever like be like prince. right you know like Prince became Prince because he was five foot three and that was the way to get women to love him to be so fucking talented like that people just are blown away and you're acting like a woman they don't even understand it but they're so hot for you like he hacked the system but you're not gonna get that I met Prince a couple times one time I met him he was still cursing because I was on the tonight show and I was back in that little hallway getting my makeup done, whatever.

2:22:57And, but I already came in makeup, so I don't know why that, you know, I was always ready. So I, I, I just walk out the makeup thing and the prints was on the show, his door is right there and mine is down here. So I walked over to the J and I said, he walking, I said, can I, could you introduce me to prints? He said, well, you're in the thought it's going on, I can knock on the door. I said, well, no, I'd, I'm a protocol, rather you, you walk me in, it's prints and just say, hey, you know, he said, I haven't even said hi to me. He said, come with me. So he said, I'll go after this. He goes to his makeup.

2:23:28I'm just standing there. Prince comes out of his dress room. He says, where's my fucking tea? And I'm like, was that? He's my fucking tea. And I was like, oh, I'll, I'll, I'll go get it. And he closed, he closed the door and Jays right there and that thing. I said, where is Princess fucking tea? And she's like, what? I said, he is yelled at me to give his fucking tea. He's like, did he know you're in there? He knows he doesn't know much. So he probably doesn't know you're on the show. So I went and got tea. And I walked in the knock on the door and he opened it. And his assistant opened the door.

2:24:06I said, this is Princess tea. And he says, he doesn't drink tea. I was like, okay, no. And Princess looking, he's like, close door to the thing. But the fuck was that about it? Where's my fucking tea I go get tea So listen that seems insane. I've been saying I Did but it was it was just awkward and I didn't I didn't know what I was supposed to do And so the next time I'm Vegas. I'm going to my own room. You didn't talk to him at all after that No, we run the show together. No, they did this thing. I came and he's a jate brings us all on at the end And this is Evan thinks Prince and Carathop is another and Prince declined it to go out for the closing But you can see it and he's he's like we had great prince can't Do you think he was a embarrassed that he told you to get his tea?

2:24:58No, I think he was out of his mind. No, maybe maybe you thought oh shit I know but he would have said thank you For my tea the girl's like he doesn't want tea. I'm like He just asked me for fucking tea. All right that follows along with my theory about that kind of talent. I always think you have to be at least someone insane or have a relationship. You have to have a relationship with insanity, which is probably why Joined Jehovah's Witness and decided to stop swearing. It's like you wanted some structure, right? It's probably how to relationship with insanity. Probably. I mean, if he gets a, I mean, he had a trouble, we all know that.

2:25:37He was a rough patch there for him, But he was the best one as I was going to my room at the MGM brand of the top sweets for the hell they're called It's after the show and they have the little girls at the end of the you know the check you men at the top Mm -hmm. I'm more name is your chompson How's your show and awful and I start walking down the hall and this is big big I mean big black guy just standing right in the center of the hallway So I'm walking towards him and I'm like I'm getting closer to him so I said, hey, how's it going? And I saw him go like, I can't go by him. So I said, oh, I'm sorry.

2:26:19I need to go to my, he's, you can't go to, you can't go past here. I said, oh, I have to go to my room. He says, you're not going by me. He wasn't mean about it, but he says, you're not gonna go by me. And I made a joke like, I can probably get by you. You're being funny. I said, I can probably get by you pretty quick. Didn't laugh. So I said, all right, I went back to the girl of the front. I said, is that guy work here? She's like, who? I said the guy in the hallway. No, what guy? Is that guy? No, I said, well, then what? You won't let me go by him. She's like, I'll go with you. She walks with me.

2:26:56I said, I brought back up. I'm gonna get this little old lady. Right. I brought back up. We're getting through you. and he's like, sir, he needs to go to his room. He's like, I'm sorry, you can't, you can't, you can't come by me. And I just kind of, I figured there's gotta be something behind him. And I kind of do one of these like, well, I just gotta get in his prints and he's standing, he's only, you know, he's this guy, three times his size and prints his standing behind him. So I just, I say, prints and he goes, He goes, hey, I said, can I go to my room? He goes, yeah. I said, can you tell him?

2:27:37And he goes, to who? I said, the guy. Like he's not with him. He says, yeah, let Caratop go to his room. He goes, one of these, and I walk by him. He's just, Prince, he just stand behind this guy in the hall. I know what he was doing, Ethan. He was just standing there. He just standing. Probably right in a new song. Maybe he was right. I don't know, but it was just weird and he just said hey, and I said thanks, Brent He said no problem. He's a weird guy. That's why that's why he's so good. Yeah, I just never forget that I was like I don't think anybody gets that good without being really out of their mind, you know, you know You got to be out there man.

2:28:12He is standing there behind this guy It wasn't like a Fony thing before there's phones. He wasn't like that's a funny thing to do playing stand out there with a giant dude

2:28:29You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. You wouldn't have seen it. for 15 years. Oh my god. Yeah 1973. So guys saw him perform that song you're talking about and he's like I got to we got to figure this out.

2:29:02Well Captain Jack. Yeah. Oh wow. Captain Jack is a great fucking song. Have you ever seen him do it live? No. Oh, but yeah. God damn. See if you find an old version. God can we play it and like cut it out? Yeah let's play it and cut it out. That kind of know that was of him doing it live from like the 1970s if you can if it's possible. Yeah, there's a whole thing in the documentary right now about Billy Joe. Look at this. How quick is this? Where he's? 1976 Captain Jack from connect, excuse me, Connecticut live 1976. We'll come back ladies and gentlemen. Now we're back. Oh, we're going back to, we're talking about music earlier about.

2:29:47How good was that song? Oh, I was saying though. But we have this but you I'm sure everyone has the same discussion about music and that I know you know these songs Everything from that area 67 is 80s is still relevant and amazing But there's I it's hard to find I don't know if they just don't play it too. It's you got a fine You had find the artist man. You got to find find the artist go back and I you know, I who there's a lot of art I said listen to you know yeah, but there's great guys right now man, you know There's jelly roll right now. He's amazing Oliver Anthony. He's amazing. Um Teddy swims That dude do you know that?

2:30:27Oh my god play the door by Teddy swims What's that we can't play music just like we'll cut it out. I'll cut it out We'll cut it out. Sorry But I just want you to listen here's a you you fuck with your crowd. You see okay now here This is one of the best songs I've ever heard check this out Yeah, but you can back. Oh, you know you can know you can back you're going right?

2:30:54Great that's great. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, see they're out there Yeah, no, I just gotta find him. I guess when I'm old like me I just get stubborn I go what do you listen to him? I go out in John I'll give you some shit to listen to there's some great shit out there. I try to I just get so I'm old So let's go listen to Zach Brian. I love Zach Brown. Yeah, I love Zach Brown too But Zach Brian oh Zach Brian. He's the guy that was at the arena with Shane Gillis You don't know how know I'm doing. I know him phenomenal He's phenomenal phenomenal and another one of those guys is just like super super talented and incredible voice He was in the military man who's making songs like tick -tock in the military One of those things like vine or something like that.

2:31:39And that's how he pops Wow. Just like right out of nowhere. Yeah, it's crazy. That's right about the army. Like you're gonna be a fucking star. Yeah, super star. The user in the Navy. Where, what arena were they at? Noter name. Stadium football stadium. How many people's in that? I'll show you there. I mean, it's 100. Is there a picture of them on stage? A lot, yeah. Oh, what does the picture of them on stage? That's so surreal. Yeah. Those numbers are so surreal. Look at the size of that. That's so crazy.

2:32:17It's like the Luxor every now and then different basically the same. It's the same. What's the biggest show you've ever done? Stadium and Florida. What is that? But that was for it was for their homecoming. It wasn't a caretop show. I was the headliner but it was a it was a look at that that's crazy Wow nervous about doing it too. Oh, I can't wait to imagine. Well, how could you not be? Well, my my thing with the stain because you know, we do they do a soundtrack there but the the stains empty and it was you know, a hundred thousand people. This side was going to be the alumni. This side was the the kids, you know, all ages.

2:33:05Now that they had a rules, you can't say, you couldn't curse, you couldn't, definitely couldn't ending sexual. So I might think that I brought all this stupid shit, which is, you know, meant for a call. It is a bong with, you know. Right. The open guy goes out in his first joke, he's like, I mean, this chick out, right? My guy comes running in like, dude, my wife's like, his open line was, I mean, this girl, and I said, no, he goes, yeah. I'm like, well, second guy goes out. Same thing. He's just, they're beyond rotten, gross, dirty, right? And I'm getting ready to go up and I'm like, well, I'm gonna eat shit now, because they're, you know, they went here.

2:33:46But the crowd wanted goofy. They had heard all this. It was actually working in my advantage. They did all this horrible dirty stuff that the crowd was kind of like, like let's get Kara top and I came up and I was like, you know, I did my exact thing I was supposed to do. It was silly goofy, you know, but both sides they loved it. But the weirdest thing, and I'd love to ask him that, because I'm going to play the stadium is you say, you know, A, and it goes, hey, hey, hey, hey, four times. This is a backslap, whatever they call that. Oh, echo? Yeah. So I didn't, in sound check, it wasn't doing that.

2:34:23So I went out and I said, I said, uh, something like, you know, Florida, I'm fun fun. I was like, oh, Florida my hometown. I said, Florida my hometown, Florida my hometown. Oh, no. And I went, oh, shit, like in my head, I didn't know what I was going to do. And that split second. And I said, I said, wow, wow, wow. One thing cool about playing the stadium, stadium, stadiums, every joke that's going to bomb is going to bomb four times, four times, four times. And the crowd went like crazy. And I said, no, seriously, that H -shed, H -shed. And it just worked off that echoes. was great. You figured out how to work with it right right in a split second.

2:34:58I'm like, yeah, that's what we do. Yeah, yeah, got imagine not just ignoring the fact that you hear yourself four times. No, I know. And you have to time out. You're right. It was weird as thing ever. You're holding up a thing and you're like it's a thing with a thing and you have to hold it longer till they see it to put it down. It's weird. I remember when I used to work at Great Woods Center for the performing arts, it was like a concert venue. And I was there when Bill Cosby was there. And the problem with comedy in that place is that it was outdoors. So the inside of it was all covered. Like there was like an inside space.

2:35:38It was open air. Like there was a roof over it and it was all covered. And then there was a lawn area in the back. Meadowbrook kind of thing. And they sold tickets for the lawn. but you could only hear the show inside the roofed area because once it got out, all the echo fucked it up so bad when it made it out into the lawn, you could understand what the fuck anybody said. You had to be in there where the speakers were. And so everybody was furious. They were all complaining, like, oh, they never checked. Like no one checked to see if you could hear someone talk out. That's crazy. These kids today, no one knows what they're gonna say.

2:36:14And Dennis, come on now. I saw danger field there. He was backstage. So backstage when danger field would do shows He would get highest fuck. He would take off all of his clothes and he would put a robot That's when you go on stage with a bath robot just raw dick and a bathrobe and with slippers on and dude Fucking murdered. I was I guess I was like 19 years old when I was working there and he went up there And I was not even thinking about doing stand -up comedy yet So I was just loving it just as a pure fan. I was like I can't believe Ronnie Jesus and that's hanging out with a bathroom Because that's known for it.

2:36:51Oh, yeah, even Vegas. He'd go around the casino and I saw him in a bathroom, but I saw him go on stage in a bathrobe and that was his move now I you know he did he I saw it he he walked up in his dress room on purpose with it on done I said, I said, Rodney's, yeah, it's my mom. He goes, hey mom, and he just stand there. Yeah, my mom's like crazy, right? And he meant to. He's like, he looked at me like, how's mom doing? I'm like, great. And she's like, your thing is hanging. In our dressing room at the club. His wife donated his notes from an appearance on this night show. So it's his handwritten notes, they're all framed with a photo above.

2:37:37What are you saying? Rodney. Yeah, it's pretty cool. One of the things I loved about him, man, is that he introduced the world to a lot of other great comics. He introduced the world to Kinesen, Hicks, Robert Shimmel, Dom Eirera, Jerry Seinfeld, like a lot of comics did. A lot of comics did those HBO young comedian specials. Well, that's what you're doing as well, and Tony is doing that because you give all the comics time on your show, which most shows don't have them anymore, right? The late shows don't. The comics that have podcasts all do this. But I mean, but you made a lot of people have podcasts now.

2:38:19You're a powerful person behind this. I think people are going to have podcasts with their eyes. We're giving people the platform. Like, fuck an hour. I'm on, you got me on here. You know, the other shows like late night shows don't have comics anymore. They don't, well, they don't. But also they're just a handkerchief anyway. You have to have a book to promote. Because it's all, the whole show is not to knock late night shows because some of our funder watch, but it's basically, it's publicity for a bunch of stuff, right? It's like someone's coming on to promote an album, someone's coming on to promote a movie.

2:38:51Nothing wrong with that, right? But the problem is it's not what the host is interested in, right? And I think the way that those shows are, you're handicapped in a way where you have to get on the famous people, you have to get on the rock star, you have to, you can't just have weird people come on. You can't have some guy work for the CIA come on. Right. Tell you about aliens. This is what I know so far. But that would be the, whatever guests, like the third middle guy, they had to do that though. You can't do it. You, first of all, you only have 10 minutes. Each guest is like in and out real quick.

2:39:21You've barely enough time to scratch a surface of like one or two stories. You don't get it. You don't get it. I guess what I said, do what I said. I do it. I did it. I don't know how many times I did this and I should but it was always I never was promoting anything In fact, they went on I had something to actually promote they didn't want to put me on I said I'm trying to promote chairman of the board this movie You know like that's the virus. Yeah, the one time you wanted I really did no I did I have this this movie coming out Yeah, I remember movie. Yeah, they're like nah, I'm like I'm I got a movie Jay.

2:39:49I got it. You know I got it in a movie Now the weirdest one I'm gonna ask you that was in reverse. Let's see you if Who's the strangest, you said, strange, yes, maybe think of this, that you've had to do in front of, I'll tell you mine real quick. So I was on the tonight show and Dick Cheney was on. And I mean, nothing against, I mean, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, smell like sulfur. Well, I had five, maybe six props, Dick Cheney props, unpurpose, right? Because, because Dick Cheney was there. No, I had like three just because I'm topical all the time in the show So I have already have them in my show but then when they said dick you're gonna be on with Dick Cheney I said oh shit, can I do it?

2:40:32And so I started writing more So I had like six and I opened with them right so but the weird part was I get there and we're rehearsed at a secret service Everybody's there that you know I can't I can't get to my own room Princess guys that you can't go by again. No, so I I I finally rehearsed it and they're like the people are like, you know, he's gonna be a guest. I said, well, no, she's just what I'm doing it, right? And they're like, she's like, you know, I don't know. I said, well, you know, it's very topical. It's in, I think it's funny that he's there, right? So, Jake, this is right for the show.

2:41:09He said, I see he can stay or is he gonna leave? Cause he could serve as surrounding me, like gonna go grab him and go. And Jake's like, well, I don't know. I mean, I can ask him and I'm thinking, well, just between you and me, I mean, this is like behind the curtain, right? What do you think is a better if he's there and I do it and they keep cutting over to him or if he's gone and I do it and I keep looking like, thank God he's gone. What's funny here? And he's like, I don't know. I mean, I fear fun. I say, I think if he could stay, it'd be better. Because it's really funny. I'm doing it right in front of the fucking guy.

2:41:44Right? So they said, okay. So they go back he talks to the bank he's okay. He's he thing So he go back to the desk and they're late in the police walk. I mean I found the film and I came at top Straight impression. Yeah, good good friend of the film Wacky to guy from Vegas as I walk out and I go right off. I said I look over today I had size of funny. You're here and I pull out I probably could find this we pulled out and I have a dick -chainy gun and it's a rifle with the thing goes this way because he's got the guy in the head. And I mean, it's already like, holy fuck, right? And they're like, I found your gun.

2:42:21Oh, sorry, Bill. And it's like, the crowd didn't know it first because they're all looking at him. They're looking at him. Yeah. And he's got that, you know, just pissed, right? So I go, right, I do another one. I had an operation game. You know the operation had his his face on it because he was always getting operating a F .E. and I had a book with the thing it was just like five or six big chained jokes Finally I keep looking over. I'm like, you know, we're good You're not gonna have me you're not gonna have me audited or am I gonna be killed here and you know jays I was now the crowds really getting and now the chained is looking like how many more fucking He says how many more do we I said I got one more and then we'll move on so I do one more chained joke Now he's kind of, he's kind of laughing but still kind of like this is aggravating.

2:43:11Then I go and I do a piggy bank for gay guys and it's a piggy bank where the slot is in the asshole instead of the top of the thing, right? It's a great prop. And it's a piggy bank for gay guys. Murders. I mean that did a great set. I get done, I walk over, I sit down and there's something going on. like the the the there's a ruckus this like secret service something go the writers the producers and Jay and Jay gets up and he and I'm just sitting there with Dick Cheney and the lady comes over and she goes oh my god that was that was that was the best that you've ever done I said thank you Tracy and she said I'm I look over I said thank you for being good sport yeah I was where do you find all this I said no I make it he thought I just found though I said no I make where do you find all this stuff I said I made it you made that But it's pretty clever.

2:44:01His daughter is there. And apparently all those Dick Cheney jokes were fine. But when I did the gay piggy bank, she lost her mind. Like you can't do that? No, I don't know. She lost her mind like really mad that I did a gay piggy bank joke on the show. I just did five jokes about her father. So everyone was taking her out of the studio She's losing her she was screaming and so they took her out of the studio. It's the gay piggy bank That's it. Yeah, it was like I can't believe that you dead that like that in front of my father And I thought you were making fun to become doing a dick. Yeah, I shot your dad Joe the gay piggy bank is what's that?

2:44:48I don't know the gay piggy is this Liz chaining. I think I don't think you don't know the daughters I don't know how many daughters you have. I don't know. That's why they might have been me How many two just two one of the daughters? Let's just say one of the daughters. I don't think it was allegedly allegedly. It could have been an imposter. It was a crazy person pretend to be one of the daughters. Dick Cheney's daughter Liz are both staunchly against Donald Trump despite being Republicans, but why are Liz and Mary once feuding over same sex marriage? Hmm. How are they feuding over that? Let's find out.

2:45:21What's that? I was trying to add. When was this? I know you're trying to have it now I'm curious like with this article is from a year ago What a year ago someone's upset about same -sex marriage. What are they saying? I mean I had another prop that that hold on what is what was a year ago So it was and it was not to do with that. That's what I mentioned Donald Trump and that right Well, what is what is the same sex marriage dispute between? I don't know because I need to know Yeah, so people are still arguing about that Okay, and they believe in same -sex marriage the other one doesn't it'd be funny it was the other way around Yeah, I was like I Don't know I don't know which daughter I don't I don't need their I'm assuming with probably the one that was gay Maybe then maybe it's just like two daughters to just hate not each other I have well, I don't think you should get I had another one that was kind of strange because it was a dumb joke Maybe you think of you said same -second marriage.

2:46:22So right when gay marriage became legal and certain states There's like four right I had a big map a big map that I'd hold up and I say hey gay marriage is now legal And this is a map to show people and we'd have these Right with the states were there of these little penises on springs whatever and it was so it was just dumb right? I don't know so I I rehearse it and the crew is fucking going crazy. They're like, ah, sky, fucking dildos. And you can't do it, dildos on NBC. And so lady comes over and she goes, I said, I know. I think it's silly enough. They're just unsprings. And I would always fight with her.

2:47:06She said, no. So I said, all right, if I come up with a different idea without Dix on it, can I do it? She said, yeah. So I thought, I don't know, I'll do. I took the spring's off and I had the guys back there at the tonight show print out Ryan Seacrest faces, you know, like four of them. Right. And I put them where the gay marriage is. Now, Ryan Seacrest is a good friend of mine and everyone was making fun of him, right? The big back then, I always gay and it's not clearly, but the joke would be in a kill, right? Funny so I come back and I go how about this and she's like oh my god that's I Said I know him he's not gonna he'll he'll probably text me and say why would you do that?

2:47:52Jay comes over and goes, oh, you know, he's really a good friend of mine. I said no Jay I said he's a friend of mine too. He's it's funny. It's not it's not anything He's like, yeah, if you if you if you really if you couldn't do does not do that for sensitive Is he? No. No. And Jim, but Jay was very protective of, I said, no, he said, no, you know, he's the NBC and he's got my friend. I don't think it's necessary. And I said, well, yeah. I can put like, you want me to put like, like I said, like, dick, you know, Richard Nixon Dix or something. He's like, yeah, just get rid of this. Get rid of this.

2:48:24Get rid of the joke. I think it's funny. Fuck. Yeah. Well, I think of him Ryan Crees has. That's the problem with, you know, having editorial access to someone's act when they're doing it tonight, Joe, said it should be like, no, it should be like, look, if you want fucking the black crow's to play, they sing their song, you know what the song is, you know what the lyrics are, that's fine. But with a comic, you can't tell them they can't do something. Well, they asked something. That's nice. And of course I had, I had 40 other props. I didn't need to do that. Like even swearing, like, what are you doing?

2:48:58You're being silly. It's silly. Like, come on. I did break the law with them once. What'd you I was doing a build a podium for Bill Clinton. It was the closing bit and I would do the stupid voice to you like I did not and there was this presidential seal on this podium and had a true false buzzer button to go Bing and it would be it was just so stupid. I did not have and you hit something. I forgot the joke now. But the closing punch of the whole thing was where after I'm doing the podium, that would kill. I could just stop in that. I had a foot pedal where Monof Gowinsky's head would come up like a little on a beret.

2:49:46Little, this is great. It took a hard, engineering to do this. And so I go, I did not. And then I hit the foot pedal and the woman, the beret would come up and I go, not now. That's all I had just just not now. In the rehearsal, it was just, they were like, that's the best thing you've ever brought here. You're like, God, and I said, yeah, great. Here's your compass, my lady, with her new pad, and I said, oh, fuck, she goes, everything is good. Stand, stand, stand, stand, practice. I said, oh, and I give her a hug. I said, this is the first time I've come and everything got approved. And she says, yeah, I went back to my dress room, like, I can't believe I get to do this.

2:50:27my closing bed the fuck it's gonna get right before I'm talking a minute before I come in she walks in she's like okay you can do the podium but you can't you can't put her head down and I said why you can't use your hand to force her head down that's just that they can't you can come up you just can't force it down I run to the prop department I said is there a way you can because I'd made it. They don't know my, they're looking at like, I don't know, I made it. Is there a way I can release and go down without me touching it? And they're like, I don't know, they looked at it and I'm on in five minutes.

2:51:07I said, fuck it. So I, I do the whole thing. I said, I did not, and the head comes up and I said, not now. And I use my elbow to put it down. And of course, the crowd, it killed. And it wouldn't, better I did this but I said not now I get done I come over and I can see her fucking feeling she comes running over me because the I was gonna say what a great set oh you did so good Tracy Fist did she said that was phenomenal I said I said I was Jay's like how do I get that and I said the stands are practiced they come over I'm trouble she's like I said I did not. If we go to show it's over thank you tomorrow night and then she comes over Okay, if I get fired over this you're not gonna get fired of this.

2:51:57Oh no, they've already bleeped it out on the On the west coast that east coast it went live. I said Well, leave out what you can't force her head. I said I didn't force it. I didn't use my hand I use my elbow. She just looked at me like you fucking like so clever. I said well, you said don't use my hand So everything was fine after that, but it did get bleaped out and it just, it went, you know, fucked the joke up because they went, I did not, and then it was, you know, edited right to just, it was in a punch line. Yeah. Well, you ever get in trouble for something like that? Well, this is what I got in trouble.

2:52:36I got banned from Fox, I think for life for this. And this is for something else. This is really weird. Yeah. I was in the country, no billboard musical awards and they asked me to do a Little bit with Chris Rock. It's Chris Rock and me and you know, it's it was such great Together because he's like, you know top, you know, and then I'm out there. I was stupid and but Chris Rock is you know See and I go out we do our rehearsal and I had like four props or something. And the guy came over like in a panic right middle of the show. It's already happened. Our bits coming up in about 40 minutes. He says, I need you guys to go longer.

2:53:19And Chris rocks like him. I would, what don't he's just come up with something. And I said, well, I can go, I can, I can have my guy go back to the MGM and grab a few more props. You know, that'd be awesome. Chris was like, yeah, perfect. you know, we'll kill the time without having to change too much. And I can just pull out more shit. I go and I tell my guy, go TV clean, get, get like this, get the thing, the towel with the misspelled, and then they, uh, one of the seat, the toilet seats. So I added, it was, it was, it was, it was a, it was a great joke. It was a toilet seat with a seat belt.

2:53:56So when you need a taco bell, right, you sit on it and I put it on. And I in the sound and the sound effect in the show is they used to me have a problem and it's a great stupid little bit But there's about 20 toys. He's Leading up to that when I was like it. I'm not kidding 30 toys and one that held hold women's hair when they throw up had one that lights up I have one the spikes on it. It's so many so the last one was the seat belt, right? So it's it's very clean, right? I mean, it does great. We walk back and I'm thinking they're gonna come high five me because we just saved the show. We added time they needed.

2:54:32The guy is like, they banned me because I said Taco Bell because it was sponsored by Taco Bell. How the fuck am I supposed to know it's sponsored by Taco Bell? That's real shit. Now. I'm like, what? I didn't say fuck they said no you said Taco Bell. Oh my god. How do I get fine? They thought your band for life. That's hilarious because I said Taco Bell. I know I mean I'm not the guy They should have come to me so they should come to me. Yeah with Taco Bell. Yeah 100 % that's not on you. No normal reference for That's funny. Yeah, not funny really. I mean funny now they would have been pumped if you said Del Taco all right Yeah, but I had it right if they they told me that I would have yeah Done that hey brother.

2:55:24This was a lot of fun. Yeah, I'm doing a huge lot of fun And I'm looking forward to seeing you on Killtony. Yeah, and anybody wants to check them out Carotop is at the Luxor in Las Vegas, Nevada on a regular basis. What's the best way to find out when you're there? Just text me Yeah Yeah, Las Vegas. I mean a carotop .com or Las Vegas is beautiful. Alright man man. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys. That was a lot of fun. Alright, bye.