#2380 - Jordan Jensen

24:03I'm Matt Damon in Italy at a restaurant where he was sitting underneath a photo of himself. That's weird. Did he choose this at there? No, no, no. The restaurant owner had him there before. It was a nice table and there's photos all over the wall of celebrities that had been there before. And so Matt Damon went and sat down at the table where the photo of this owner, you know, taking a picture with Matt Damon as... That's a meta shit. That's crazy. He seems really sweet. He's a very nice guy. Super normal guy. There's a lot of them that are like super normal. The funniest thing I always hold this thing like I doubt fucking crazy people.

24:43This is always like a thing in your head. You like they got to be out of their fucking mind totally. Yeah What's the guys Peter Dinklage? Oh, yeah, yeah, came in to the seller and Through a chicken wing at my friends Chest just like out of nowhere to somebody introduced him like gillister's out of somebody Maybe his shults was like oh this is so and so he's a good comic and he threw a chicken wing at him And I was like that's the most Peter Dinklage just basically being a little Renaissance man throwing his size turkey leg is crazy. It's crazy. A little Renaissance man being like, away Jessica.

25:22I was like, that's two on the nose. It's crazy. The problem is I knew him first from Elf. Oh yeah. You know, so even though he's the Game of Thrones guy, to me, he's always the angry writer from Elf. I know him from the guy for weddings in a funeral or wedding in a funeral. I never saw that. I heard it's really good. It's really good. It's really good. It's crazy funny. Yeah, that guy's great He's right. He was so good in Game of Thrones. It was so good. That's a complicated role Yeah complicated that fucking show was so good the new one I'm trying to get into it But like every season is like five years apart from the last one you have to figure out who is who is this lady?

26:00Game of Thrones won I had to I was like asking a thousand people I was like I don't understand which places which I had to like man I could not figure it out, but it's so good. It opened up with the brother and sister. Fucking. That was so sick. I was like, let's fucking... And they're making a cripple out of the other brother. Yeah, it was crazy. Nuts. And they just fall on rape of the Daenerys girl. They cut the fucking head off the cane. You're like, no. It was crazy. He's the best. He's the best. He's the king. They did a great job. Oh, that's fucking chill, ruled. It was such a good show.

26:30Such, the season one was, I mean, not season one, the real Game of Thrones. The new ones like yeah, it's good, but you know you're always you're Jay Leno after Johnny Carson. Yeah, totally. You get attached to the thing. You just like, aw. I didn't, I don't remember the last season. Oh, the last season was weird. We're Cersei rules. I was in Croatia and there's the place where they were King's Landing is. Yeah. Like that's where they filmed it. Oh, that's awesome. And they like sort of do tours where they show you where they film certain scenes. Yeah, and one of the scenes is when she's shame Shame which is walking on like they the little cobblestone.

27:10That's pretty. That's right there Yeah, you can actually see it. That's really cool. It's pretty cool. Yeah, they filmed a lot of shit We still do those shame things on Twitter. We do the shame shame shame I just went through a horrible Twitter thing last night. I don't know dude. I got dragged You can't read that I did I dude it was a fan hit me up and goes don't go on Twitter and I went on Twitter and it was so this crazy out of context thing where I was like talking I was on Stop SpodGas and I was talking about how I was talking about this guy who used the word I'm not gonna say it T .R .A.

27:44I don't know how to spell it and then why? Okay, he used that word and I was being like that word is so fucking antiquated that at this point to me It sounds like somebody's just calling like a drag queen that and everybody took it as me saying that trans people are in drag. Oh, god. And it like, dude, it was just like, went at me. And like, the crazy thing is, I thought I was being woke on that podcast. I had like, friends of mine being like, fuck, George, like it was crazy. Friends of yours. I mean, friendly people, like people I work with. Yeah, those people can go eat shit. Those pylon people, they can all go eat shit.

28:20But that was my like first big one. I've had one before, but that was like. Like, that kind of shit pushes people away from all the things you're trying to promote. Like, it doesn't mean that people hate trans people if they say something like that. That's not what you're saying. I was saying the opposite. I was being like, this guy was such an asshole for use night word. Also that word is so corny that I feel like at this point it's not even reference to transgender people that it's like what we say for drag. Some people still use it. Totally. But it's that's not the point the point is it's like what are you trying to do?

28:57You're not trying to hurt anybody's feelings so shut the fuck up everybody's just looking for a reason to be offended It's just trying to find anything that they can like green light go and just Reason no nuance. Yeah, of course. It's so crazy Of course it was so and I'm just like reading all of them and I was like this is so many people that are just like this dumb bitch One of them said this is a fat retard talking to a skinny retard about me and Stuff and I was like oh, that's actually really sweet. That's really nice. Yeah, I love me Well, this is just what's going on online and most of the people that are I don't know I don't have Twitter.

29:33Oh good. I don't have Twitter. I deleted it because I guess looking at my access tweets And then I was like I'm deleting this for sobriety, you know, and then I went on it the other day I was like this is a nightmare dude It was crazy and I hit up those people who tweeted and I was like, hey, why wouldn't you just text me man? Like I care about you you care about me and this was totally out of context if you just asked me about it I would have showed you the whole clip, you know, and they were like you're right that was crazy It's a mental illness factory. Yeah, it's Twitter is just a giant cunt farm.

30:03Yeah, that's what it is Mm -hmm. It's just everybody just is growing country thoughts. I didn't know I just am not even in there Yeah, it's not good. I know I stay off it as much as humanly possible. I try to get on it in the morning Just see what everybody's upset about see what's in the news what the like A UFO got shot with a hellfire missile and they have footage today and rep Luna Yeah, they were talking about it in hearings today. There's a video of a hearings Yes, there's a video of a UFO getting hit by a hellfire missile and the hellfire missile just blows apart and the UFO just keeps moving What was the UFO?

30:40What do you look like? It's like a dot on a screen. They always look. They look like shit. I saw something weird coming down from the moon the other day. Do you not know what it was? Look at this. So watch this. So the here's the UFO. There's the missile. Watch this happens.

30:57Does it? It just knocks it around and then thing just gets right back on track. Which is bananas? like anything that gets hit by a hellfire missile usually gets a fucking obliterated especially something that's literally the size of the missile. It's cruising. Yeah it's flying. I mean not fast enough that it could duck a missile. So it was just kind of weird that it let itself get hit. It's hard to see what happens. Right. Like what are those little... Right, it's animation. It's fucking pong. We're looking at pong, you know. It's like an old video game, a really shitty video game. This is why I have the hardest time getting excited about any of this stuff.

31:37I don't know what I just saw. You're telling me I saw a Hellfire missile hit a UFO. It's like, you know, you're reading Morse code to me. I don't know. Well, AI has done that too. We're now, it's like I can't even go on Instagram. It's not even funny anymore because I don't know what's real or not. Oh yeah, we get caught all the time. Really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's always something. There's always something that you think is really Tim Wallace with the fuck Trump shirt on, dancing on the elevator. where James is like, it's fake, I'm like, don't know, it's real. I always, I'm like, I'm just past the age bracket where I can't detect it.

32:08It's crazy. No one can detect it anymore. Because especially what looks like cell phone footage, because cell phone footage is kind of shitty already. So they just make it kind of shitty. And you don't know, you know what the fuck you're looking at? My mom liked the photo on Facebook that a fake AI photo of me on the beach, different tattoos with a man. And she liked it. I'm like, Mom, what are you doing? Who do you think that guy is? You know that I'm single she's like you look beautiful in it. I'm like it's not real That's not my body. That's not the body you gave birth to boomers can't handle it No, they're so removed from this technology that they're living an alternative dimension.

32:42Yeah totally I don't know what she does They get their news on TV and that's a wrap. Yeah, whatever the guy says in front of the camera. Yeah That's the truth. My mom is my news stories which is nice I didn't know that Epstein drawing had come out. Oh, yeah What it so the drawing is a drop was that the same as the one that had been leaked before Or is it different? I think I appreciate that. At least one was someone took the description and put it in AI. Oh, this is the actual drawing. Yeah, and this one they actually got the book and someone leaked it. I'm gonna grab it. The drawing I did think when I imagined it, that it was gonna be like a weld.

33:16I was imagining like, Dick Caprio drawing a French girl. You know, and when I saw that one, I was like, God Trump, at least make her hot. What are you doing? But what was the transcript he had written out? He had it like, what is voice over me? like a script. It says there must be more to life than having everything Donald, yes, there it, so he wrote this. Supposedly. Voice, it says voice over like he's like a movie star. Like he's in a script. Donald, yes there is, but I won't tell you what it is. Jeffrey, nor will I, since I also know what it is, who fuck it talks like this. Donald, we have certain things in common, Jeffrey.

33:51Jeffrey, yes we do come to think of it. Donald and Nigma's never age. Have you noticed that? Jeffrey as a matter of fact, it's clear to me the last time I saw you. Yeah. A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy birthday. May every day be another wonderful secret. And then I like how he's got the signature over the bushes. Yeah. I don't think that he meant for that though. Oh, cool. They made it sound like he meant for that. I think he did. I think he just signed it. Maybe. But I was imagining it. It's kind of ironic, but it's right with a Vagin. But I don't think that is why I made the best with the ring.

34:28That's a dude. Okay, that's a dude with womanly hips. Yeah. Look at the boobs. They're weird. It could be a back. Yeah, it could be anything. It could be a snail smile. I don't get why he's writing a script. Yeah, it's very odd stuff. It's quite strange. But it's also like the way like enigma's never age. Have you noticed that? And Jeffrey as a matter of fact, it was clear to me the last time I saw you. Like if one of my friends sent me that, I'd be like, I'm getting a new number. Yeah, you did a number. Why didn't you say happy birthday? Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with you? A nigma happy birthday Jeff.

35:02That's all I want Happy birthday Jeff. May we hang out soon Well also like what year was this that he wrote this? No, I think it was for his 50th birthday was the word so It wouldn't have been that long ago Well, it had to be because he kicked him out of Mar -a -Lago and like the 2000s, right? That's when they kicked them out. I think so. I thought it was before that because I think that's when he got arrested They kicked Epstein out. Can I touch this? Yeah, that is a recreation. That's a 3d printed recreation of These very strange vases that they find in Egypt that are part of an older dynasty that are so exact and the way they did it is completely unknown that it's just piece of plastic but that's an actual 3D recreation of the original vase.

35:54But you think aliens did? No, no, no, I think a very complex ancient civilization that was wiped out by some sort of a cataclysmic disaster that had very sophisticated technology. Because that was, was it dire right that that was carved out of? Right, yeah. Are you an alien guy or are you an agnostic alien guy? I'm on the fence. You're on the fence? Yeah. You were alien guy? I've been back and forth off the fence on the fence. I've been over the other side. I go back and forth. I think it's highly unlikely that we're alone. Highly unlikely. Yeah. And there's just too many stories of people having encounters with something for people been writing these things down for thousands of years.

36:37I haven't had any experience though. Yeah, I think it's like a relationship if you want it to add you won't get it. Other than psychedelics. was it makes me go? You've seen guys? No, I've seen stuff. I've seen entities. Really? Yeah, 100%. I've had interactions with other beings. Tree entities or like space entities. I've had tree entities. Things that didn't have like a form that was solid, their form would change and morph. And they had consciousness. But you know, it's like what is what's really going on? Like are you really, are you imagining this? or are you tapping in what it feels like, but it might not be this, but it feels like as you're tapping into another dimension and you're interacting with some disembodied souls, like disembodied consciousness that doesn't have a physical form.

37:30That's what it feels like. But it feels highly intelligent and very aware of what your full of shit about, what you're not, like what your thoughts are, whether your thoughts are positive or negative, It shows you negative thoughts and positive thoughts. Yeah, I was talking to Ari about that on his podcast about how like when I took acid, if I had a negative thought, all of the clouds would turn into skulls. And if I had a positive thought, they'd all turn into these dancers and I could switch it. I could just like switch and my entire visual would change with my mental. I had a very similar experience once where when I had negative thoughts, everything would go like black and pixelated and dark.

38:11And then I would have a positive. I would realize it like oh no no no no this you're doing this and then boom it would blossom in these beautiful geometric patterns I was like oh Yeah, kind of in control of how you view things which is in control of how your life works That's the one thing that psychedelic wants you to get so hard And that's like the biggest that every time I do it it feels like it's making fun of me It's like bro. This is all you like you have control. Yes. You can have a bad life for a good life make the fucking choice Yeah And every time I do it, I'm like, okay, I'll remember.

38:41And then the next day, I'm like, ah, somebody fed him fat on Twitter. You know, it's great. I just had this big revelation the other day where I was like, what if everything is all right? Like I'm writing and then this is where thing happened and I'm like, I wanna die. Everybody's, and I was like, oh yeah. Sometimes I feel like when you have those revelations, you get a little tested. You ever feel like that? Like I'll be like, when I'm like, okay, like I was, my head was so big about the Netflix coming out. I drop in at the creek yesterday, do a new joke, is that bomb? Just bomb the whole way through, sweating.

39:14Sweating in front of these people, they're like, they don't know who I am. They're just like, what are you saying? And I was like, just trying brand new, weird stuff. Cause my ego's so big that I'm like, I don't even need the workshop, the shit bitch. And I do it and they're just like, we don't understand you. And I'm like, anyway, much special. It's a lot better than that. It is the most humbling thing to work on new stuff after you put out a special. It's the most humbling. because you have no weapons. And you just were doing shows where you're like, what a fun about you. I'm tight, ready. Looking at the no -padding, like, what else, still nothing on there?

39:47Nothing to create. It's the hardest thing is like coming up with subjects. You know? It's also hard when your brain is preoccupied with putting out a special I've noticed. Right. You know, like I'm editing, I'm thinking about shit, promotion, and I'm like, have to, but that's why I think you have to take time. Oh, 100%. But the rush, people are like, aren't you so proud of yourself? I'm like, no, because now I'm doing bad sets. You know what I mean? I don't have time to be proud because I'm going up on stage and being like, throw here something I was thinking, you know, and it never... I think that's a good thing for us.

40:17It's very good. It's a good reality check. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, like every couple of years, you gotta get smacked in the face and start from scratch again. It's really good. Brian Simpson did a brilliant thing. So what Brian Simpson did is he developed two hours. So he put out one hour, and then when he went touring afterwards, he had another hour already. Well, I thought he asked Ari. I thought he was like, can I put out both hours? Can I put out all of it? Don't do that. Yeah. I think what he did was perfect. When I did the half hour, I did it. I put a half hour out and I was fucking cruising.

40:47But this one, any fat that I had, I cut and was like, I hate your dead to me. Right. So all of the stuff I liked I put in it, so then when I was touring, I was like, I've already decided that I hate that. Right. I can bring it back up, but I don't want to. Right, then you feel like you're a fraud if you do. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're not interested in the subject, like if you're like, it's dead to me, it's over. Yeah. You got to let it go. Totally. Yeah. It's crazy. And it's hard to be on stage and talking about what I want to talk about, which is how crazy it is to be putting out a special. You know what I mean?

41:19But I don't want to do that because I want to do evergreen material. Also, that's like, just not relatable. Not relatable. But you're like, I want to tell you guys about this. That's what's on my mind. Especially the people that don't know who you are, then it's really not relatable. Yeah. Bill Burr was very inspiring because he put out that special about how he changed his mindset. You know what I mean? The most recent one where he was like, I'm not going to be an angry person anymore. And that was sick because I feel like sometimes I'll be like, maybe I should have a perspective shift where I am stopping such an angry person and against humanity.

41:54And I'm like, no, but that's not funny. So seeing Burr do that, I'm like, oh, I could have material about how therapy helps, you know, instead of how my therapist sucks. You know what I mean? And that was nice to see him do that. Where he was like, I'm gonna stop harassing my wife. That was a whole special. I was like, my wife is gonna die someday and I'm making her life quite bad. It was great. When I was young, I had this stupid idea in my mind that you should stray away from meditation or enlightenment or anything because it would get in the way of being funny. Yeah, totally. Again, the way of chaos.

42:26I have that with relationships. I'm like, I'm gonna keep the tumultuous relationship and I'm just gonna keep, like, that's how I thrive. Mining for material. Mining for material, just keep myself in a state of, like, unknown constantly, so that I feel, like, I'm alive. Ooh. Because I feel like I'll die if I have any comfort or stability. I look, my studio is the size of this table. There's no reason I should live like that. It's crazy. It's, there's no reason. But I just keep myself in these little, fuck. Do you like living in New York like that? I don't need to. I can live in a bigger place in New York.

42:56It's totally fine. So you're doing it to yourself? Yeah, I'm doing it to myself to be like, You have to struggle and you don't you don't want to make it to clean your tuna cans. You have to leave it. It's crazy. It's crazy At least you know it's crazy. Yeah, totally and I'm working on it. I'm working. Oh, okay. I am working talking to a realtor I'm talking to two therapists and Yeah, that's the only thing is I'm like I don't want to get a bigger place if I'm gonna buy a place in New York You know, eventually gonna buy a post right so I'm like maybe just struggle It's a weird time for the real estate market right now.

43:26I bought a house in Ithaca. Oh, yeah, upstate Yeah, upstate. Oh, you want them people to get to the upstate house. Well, it's like five hours from New York Yeah, yeah, people are like upstate and I'm like no, it's like paintball upstate, dude It's so do you take a flight or you drive? I take off. There's a flight from JFK now No, and you go to it the gun what just TV I Just I mainly just work on the house and work on the you know, just do shit to get it up And I don't know what I'm gonna do when it's done. So you just like being in a small town? Well my family's there Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, that makes sense.

43:59Yeah, my niece is there that makes sense. Yeah, okay I just pick ethical. I don't know what no way my whole family's there And I was so sick of going home and having to stay with my mom the whole time and oh that's smart Yeah, she walked in on me having sex so many times is so annoying just swinging over the door Oh, sorry, that's her every single time because she's deaf so she can't hear shit. Oh, no So she'll just swing it open. Oh, oh Okay, it's fucking crazy dude. And her house just has holes in it because she's a contractor, so she hasn't finished it. Oh no. So there's just like, there'll be like, I was just be scurrying around and be like, there's raccoon in here.

44:34I'm like, what? All the time, dude, it's crazy. There's a chipmunk on my laptop. I'm like, get it? Hello, baby. Bat's coming in constantly. Is he dead's fainting? Dad's dead now. Dad finally fainting his last fainting. Oh no. It was, it was good. He worked all day, came home, died. It was, we were happy about it. Really? I mean, we didn't want him to die, but yeah, he was like getting to a point where we were like, he's gonna have to start going to the hospital because he smokes so many cigarettes and is so unhealthy. And we're like, if he goes to the hospital, it's game over. He can't be around.

45:08He'll faint if he sees the hospital. It's like, he like knew it was happening. And it was like, I'd rather die. Is this cigarettes can him? Yeah, cigarettes and Dunkin' Donuts. Love Dunkin' Donuts, donuts. All of those things. Very addictive. Very addictive. Oh. He was happy, Smoker. That's why I want to kill you in all the time. Because he smokes a lot. Yeah. And he sounds like my dad with the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. He ain't seen his, like, he really enjoys it though. You, that's what everybody says until they're hacking up along and they have to leave a movie theater halfway through to go smoke.

45:42How much does he and smoke a day? He's down. I think he's down to like a pack and a half. Oh, God. He's getting there. I need to get him on the Zins, but he thinks that's gay. Zins are gay? He thinks, yeah. Well, all the stuff he talks about on stage. Yeah, that he thinks is perfectly regular in a buff board. Perfectly regular in a buff board. But Zins are gay. That's so silly. That's what a silly take. But so many people have that. That's like when people are like, I'm not going to enter a recovery because I don't believe in God. I'm like, you were drunk last night praying that you could fuck, you know, Sydney, Swini.

46:15You're praying. You're doing weird stuff. You're delusional. I don't want to believe in God. That's hilarious. People say that a lot where they avoid AA because they don't believe in God. Yeah. Which weird as the guy who founded AA did it, he was an acid head. He used acid to get off of Valcon. Yeah, but he doesn't talk about that. Yeah. I used to get off Valcon. Yeah, I've heard a lot of people do that. I used mushrooms to cure like a huge amount of OCD. I was like, OCD was dominating my life, couldn't touch anything, had to wash my hands constantly. It was like, and then I tripped hard and went into a room alone for six hours and was like, I will, and it was, I was tripping hard and I was like, I'm gonna deal with this in this room and figure out what it is.

47:04And what was it? It was that I fundamentally don't trust myself to make the right decision and I realized that none of my decisions were up to me. It was all just an amalgamation of experiences. because I was like, who's gonna stop me from biting or hurting or doing anything? So I was like, if I tap this, that'll stop me. And when I faced it and asked it, it was like, you think you're gonna do bad things, but you're not because you have chosen the right path this whole way, so you can trust yourself. You know what I mean? Like three -year -old Jordan was not outside killing a cat. You know what I mean?

47:37She was fucking playing, right? Like, so every step of the way you're building this personality that you can trust. You know what I mean? Because my whole thing was like, who, how am I to know that I'm not a horrible, that I'm not gonna do something horrible? Which is a big OCD thing for people. Wondering whether you're gonna do something horrible. Yeah, like a lot of OCD, like I know a girl who she couldn't babysit, because she was like, what if I am a pedophile? Oh my god. Because her OCD was so bad. Oh my god. And then she was like, oh, this is OCD and she was treated and she was like, it's fine.

48:09But like a lot of people will have babies and they'll be like, what if I fricking Oh God. And this baby's at home. Oh Jesus Christ. It's so cold. It's so cold. I'm dead. I have that. Whenever my friends hold my baby, I'm like, okay. Oh my God, that's so crazy. But you don't do shit. Right. It's like the ski jumps that you're gonna. That's interesting. I never thought of it that way. It's like you're not trusting yourself. Yeah. And I also used to be super fat. Like I was a fat kid. And I think there's a part of me that's like if you were able to do that, then you're able to do horrible things.

48:38You know what I mean? If you were able to get fat. Yeah. Like if you were able to binge eat like that as a kid, then you're not really to be trusted. You know what I mean? And I had to face all of that on this acid trip and I came out of it and was like, Was it acid or mushrooms? That was acid. Mushrooms I microdose. Acid I don't do anymore because of how crazy that was. But that one I did a lot and came out of. You like, I got it, got the lesson, I'm not going back to school. Yeah, totally. Totally. And I saw a little bit of, yeah, I saw some things that I didn't get rid of, but for the most part, I got rid of it, which seems debilitating.

49:12I've met people that have it. It's nuts. Some people it gets worse as like their success grows, which is really crazy. Yeah, we're the powered hues type shit. Where you, you know, yeah, I love to them. We'll be growing up because I resonated with them so much. It's weird. You gotta stop it. I mean, that's the thing is if you don't get in the way of it, it just builds neuronal grooves in your brain that become so diverse to plasticity. Like you can't get out of them. And that's what I remember this woman being like, I want you to bring in contaminated items. And I was like, go fuck yourself bitch.

49:49I was like, absolutely not. I was like, then we'd have to burn my mother's car. Like there's no way. But you do, every time something's contaminated, a little bit, you have to like force yourself to do it to touch it or whatever your thing is. Like contaminated food. For me it was contamination was if some when I was younger, I was worried that I would become like say you were like, I cheated on my wife last night and then you're like, you want to hit this vape or whatever. I wouldn't be able to touch it because I'd be like, he does bad things if I hit that vape, I'll do bad things. You know, so if somebody was whack, they'd be contaminated and I couldn't go near them.

50:26There's something to that. Yeah, there's a little something to that. Yeah, there's a little wisdom behind that. Yeah. Because people do kind of adopt the mindset of people that are around. I mean, that's what I've had to learn recently is I'm like, you got to cut out black people and get that that's not OCD, that's like healthy for you. Yeah, black people can ruin everything. Yeah. Really shitty human beings that you have kept in your life for whatever fucking weird reason, they can just derail your whole life. The thing that sucks about comedy is sometimes these people are so fucking funny. And you have to cut out somebody who's so funny.

51:04That sucks. People at a desk job, I'm like, you're cutting out Brian who's like, you know, who's like, just alright who brought you a cupcake once. I'm cutting out people who are like, the only people I can say race a shit around. You're like cutting out like a huge cord of my sense of humor. right and that but I've had to do that recently just be like dude I can't the vibe is too dark. Wouldn't it be great to manage your portfolio on one platform? Well now you can trade all in one place on Robinhood. That means you can trade individual stocks and ETFs and also buy and sell crypto using seriously powerful and intuitive tools at one of the lowest costs on average without needing to manage multiple apps.

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52:57It's sinister. It is a problem. Yeah. There's people in your life that just for whatever fucking reason, we'll never get it together. Yeah. And at a certain point in time, try to rescue a drowning person that they'll drown you. Yeah, totally. They'll drown you. It's hard to watch other people do it and not cut people out. And you're like that if you could just cut like my friend's mom is just such a drain on her life. And I'm like, you gotta just. Did you see that fucking Netflix documentary about that little girl who was in the small town who was getting harassed by someone that turned out to be her mom?

53:31Oh, I heard about this, but I did not see it. Oh, I saw this on Instagram and I thought it was not real. It's nuts. She was getting bullied by her mom. her mom didn't have a job. The father thought the mom had a job. The mom was just all day trolling and fucking with her daughter for years. And you know what the girl said at one point in time she's like, I miss my mom because her mom was there to protect her from the bad world. But really the only bad world was her mom pretending to be someone else. Wait, she said I missed my mom because she thought her mom was a sweet person that protected her and she found her mom was a fucking monster.

54:10Oh, so later after she found out she was like, I miss my mom. Yes. That's brutal. That's like when somebody breaks up with you and you're like, I just want to talk to them about this bad breakup. Well, that's that thing that some crazy people do. It's munchowsons by proxy. So she was, is that munchowsons though? Munchowsons, I think, is being like a trick. You hurt them so that you could help them. Oh, she was doing that. She was She was the one who was trolling her own daughter. She was someone else online attacking her own daughter, calling her a whore, calling her horrible thing. I mean like, PS, your mom's a babe.

54:47That's crazy. It's your mom's in a niggma. Your mom's really hot, you should go talk to her. I mean, she's in a niggma. Yeah, I'm like, I did. I noticed your mom's in a niggma. I think you noticed that too. Yeah, so the moment I saw you, I noticed it. That's crazy. Yeah, crazy. It's so sad. Is she in jail or something? I don't know I didn't get that far I can't with the stuff like that what people are me to their kids I'm like I can't do this. I love that shit. I don't love it But I fucking follow sleep to that horrible. Sorry if you love your kid. I love my kids I can't I see some seen someone being that it's not just it's fucking evil Beyond belief how old are your kids she tortured that I have a 28 year old daughter I have a 17 and 15 wait if you're if you have a 28 year old you were Well, it's not my biological.

55:35Oh, okay, okay, okay. So did you have any kids where all your kids had after you were financially good? Yes. Really? Yes. Do you think that's the move? I don't know. There's something to be said for growing up poor. Yeah. You know, I grew up poor. I think it's good. I think I understand hard work. You know, I understand what it's like to have to have a job to get stuff. like you know you want to buy a new pair of pants, you need to get a fucking job, you know, you need to get a car, well you have to save up. But all those things are just trying forever. Growing up poor for me is like growing up watching your parents fight over who is gonna pay the child support.

56:18You know what I mean? I think you can grow up fine and still work. Well I've had a sudden fight. My step mom and my excuse my stepdad and my mom have been together for a long time and they have a very good relationship. So I'm that like modeled for me when I was a when I was a kid my parents got split up my biological dad My mom when I was five and my mom married my stepdad when I was like seven Where's your dad dad? We don't talk. Oh, we don't talk. I don't know But but my stepdad's a great guy. So you have good parents You think they have a they modeled a good relationship when I was a kid of people that don't yell at each other don't fight That's nice.

56:56That's a Disagreements and stuff. Yeah, yeah Yeah, they have disagreements, but they're nice to each other, kind to each other. And you know, if you see that when you're a kid, you go, oh, this is possible. But if you see like chaos all the time and everyone's fighting and screaming and yelling at each other, you like, keep me the fuck away from whatever this is. Yeah. You know, because I remember I watched my grandmother and my grandparents. My grandmother was always yelling at my grandfather and I was like, oh, don't stay married, whatever you do. I was like, when I was a little kid, I was like, you gotta get out, why you can?

57:31Yeah, I think that's why there's so many avoidant men right now is because I think there's so many of those lazy boy dads who are like dissociated, looking at a TV that isn't on. And every time they try to, every time you're like, hey, Jim, how's it going? They're like, wife flies in. It's like, don't talk damn for us. Like there's so many couples like that. Well, there's a lot of cucked out men out there. Cucked out by their job, cucked out by life. You know, you just stop being a man and then you stop getting any respect from the people that know you because they know You're kind of a bitch.

58:04They really know you like your wife and your kids really know you like oh Harry Harry's a fucking bitch Yeah, there's so many boomers like that though. There's so many where it's the dad is so quiet and so distant and the mom is just so up Everyone that the row wrote about that like what whenever he wrote this you said most men live lives of quiet desperation. That's fucked. Yeah. That's fucked. That's fucked. But that's real. But why does it happen? Well, there's a whole bunch of reasons because you stop challenging yourself or you never did, you stop growing and you don't have any character, you don't exhibit a strong will and you don't have discipline.

58:45And then you know, you're emotionally disconnected from the life that you've chosen and then you have a job or you have to pretend to be someone you're not for eight hours a day. We're for a boss who's a piece of shit. And then you lose the job because the job becomes irrelevant. And then you're a broken man and then you're like 46 years old and they're telling you to learn to code. Yeah. Oh great. Yeah, yeah, that's fucked. A lot of people don't know what to do and they didn't get good advice when they were young. They didn't get a good direction. You know, they didn't find something that they could focus their energy on and realize like, oh, if I focus my energy on something, whatever it is, I can get better at stuff.

59:23I'll start off sucky, but you keep working at it and eventually you get some people never learn that Well, it'd be nice if they could also focus on being a parent like I feel like the women stay Loud because they're like I'm a mother. I'm mom a bear, you know So I'm like it'd be nice if the dads would get off the lazy boy and be like I'm gonna help raise my kids Instead of you know, it's just fucking some people just beating life. Yeah, they wanted to be spider -on Yeah, yeah They wanted to be cool. They wanted to have a good life and life just fucking cracked them in the dick every time they made a move.

59:56You know, they got the car repossessed. Oh, Jesus credit card. There's gotta be something biological though that makes a man not like you have the pride. Bert Kreischer, I just talked about it. Like you guys have the pride in your children hard core. Like as soon as I met you showed me a photo of your daughter. You know what I mean? Like, but I do feel like there are a lot of men who are like that's not my responsibility. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. Well, maybe it's the way they were raised, you know? But for sure. But maybe if you had lost your job if you weren't in comedy and you were tired and didn't have your passion, maybe you wouldn't be as gung -ho about being a dad or maybe you'd feel like a failed dad.

1:00:34Maybe that's what it is. Maybe they feel like a failed dad. Perhaps. I don't know. I would have figured it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I just don't believe that. I just, if I lost my job doing something, I would find another job. I would figure it out. Yeah. There's other paths. You don't just stay still if the path doesn't work out. And some people do. Some people do, I didn't know that until recently that some people really do stay still forever. Oh, they quit. Well, that's why they love unemployment because they could just get a check and just still, and just wallow in this. And there's so many people who are against unemployment that still stay still, that are like fuck unemployment on high school government.

1:01:09Yeah, well, that's even sillier, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, people are weird, you know? Just if I quit comedy right now there'd be like three jobs that I would be almost just a stoked about what those be I would love to be a full -time contractor out in the sticks. I would be Philosophy professor or a therapist really yeah all of those sounds sick which one sounds the most sick Philosophy professor because you kind of become a therapist when you are a professor You know, I mean you have those kids that are fucked up so they're reading philosophy and they like me I was going in there being like or the guys that are trying to get laid.

1:01:47Yeah trying to become a lot of dorks bet it's like I was the only girl major in my class and the rest were dorky guys dorks who were ties to class. Yeah. Well philosophy itself is a strange thing because you're just thinking about a structure of how you interface with the world. Yeah. I it was the only thing I could study well everything else. I was like why would I study something that's already been known. It's crazy. But philosophy was like, no, they're all just trying to figure out life, which I was like, okay, I get that. And none of them are correct. And they're like, none of them are correct.

1:02:20And I was like, great. Because I would study science. And they'd be like, we know, get the exact measurement of how to find out this. And I'd be like, why do I want to study that? There's nothing new here. My favorite book of philosophy, I started reading when I was like, I guess I was 16. It's the book of five rings by Miyamoto Musashi. He's a samurai who killed 60 men and one on one combat with swords, but he was all about the way to become a great swordfighter. So you have to be balanced. Like you can't have any holes in your game as a human being. You have to be an artist, you have to be a poet, you have to like calligraphy, you have to be completely balanced, you have to see the thing for what it is.

1:02:58You can't have any bullshit, you can't have any fat, right? We were talking about fat and bitch. No delusion. You can't have any bullshit. There's no bullshit when you're sword fighting. But sometimes do you ever feel like you're in that flow stay in your life where you'll be like, I have all these moving parts and I have it down. And like I recently had this where I was like, I'm oil painting, I'm doing stand up, I have my friends, I'm in this groove. And then something will happen where I'll just like have like explosive diarrhea or something like. Something will happen where I'm just like Jesus Christ.

1:03:26I thought I was fucking swob, I had this shit. I used to do that with poker where I'd be like, I have this whole poker game unlock and then something would happen. Like it's almost like one of those swords that you have to have in balance is also humility. Like you also have to be like, and I'm a person who still has a butthole, you know? Right. And that I've had a lot. And things go sideways, always. Yeah, because I would be like, I'm gonna get in this flow state, that about about about about, and then I'd mess up a word on stage, and I'd be like, I remember that I'm an idiot. You know, so I have to keep that also.

1:03:56Be like, you also are a fellable. Well, that's what's a good thing about stand up. It's like, it smacks you every time you do it wrong. Yeah, you gotta do it right. It's crazy how true it is that you're only good as good as your last set. You are. It's crazy. Yeah, that's why, like, if you have a bad set, you can't wait to get on stage again. Like, get me up there. Dude, I was like, I'm doing no sets in Austin, Bob last night hitting Rebecca up. I'm like, what do you got? It's crazy. I should have hit up for it. Mother shit. Yeah, come tonight. What are you doing tonight? My show. Oh, okay. What time's it?

1:04:28Seven. Yeah, that would actually be good. That's fucking good. Let's do it. I always do, there's a clip I wanted to post about, that's really funny about your, about your club where I was like, you get in here and there's a guy who's like, my name's Kyle, I'll carry you up this flight of stairs. I have a, I have a PhD in MMA. I'm gonna pass you up to Derek. Derek has an AK -47 and we get in the green room and I'm like, do you need anything? We'll kill people for you and I was like, could I have some like almonds or snacks and they're like, no, we have smelling salts. I was like, wait. He's like, is there any just like water bottles that no we have neuropathic dust?

1:05:04It's so funny we neuropathic. We were in the green room the other day and someone had called us like some alt -right white supremacist club. I was in the room with Brian Simpson who's black, Derek Poston who's black, Asana Mottos Mozlem. It was a Tony Hedgecliff, Ron White and me. I'm like, this is a pre -diverse lineup. Like, what are we talking? This is so silly. You're looking at Comenci. It's hard. It's hard to not look at this. It wasn't a video. It wasn't a comment. It was a video of someone that one of the guys was playing. It was like, look how fucking stupid this is. The idea that this like that you had to be like, I'm not even a Republican.

1:05:45Like, I voted for Trump because I thought we were going in a terrifying direction where there was not really a president for four years and the same people are now gonna be running the government like let's weren't you like a Bernie bro? Yes. So I've only voted Republican once in my life. The idea that you have to be a Republican to get in at that club is so ridiculous. That club is filled with gay people, black people, straight people, white people, Asian. No one gives us a fuck. Yeah, that just, you're just doing comedy. You're just doing comedy. Whoever you are, whatever you believe, we have tons of lively discussions.

1:06:21I will say one time I was there and Jordan Peterson walked through and I was like, you can't be here. That's two on the nose. He's here all the time. That's crazy. It is weird. Yeah. That's crazy with his daughter. Oh, yeah. He came with his daughter. Yeah. He's been there a few times. Yeah. He even did Killtony. Oh, he was on it. Yeah. He was on Killtony. Yeah. It's crazy. Oh, yeah. So it's post Malone. One post Malone had no idea and I brought him on stage. He had no idea what the show was. No idea what anything was. I just brought him up there. Really? I did that twice. Once with Postbull and once with Tucker Carlson.

1:06:53I was having dinner with Tucker Carlson I'm like you want to go by and go see Killtony and then we're there and I told Tony and he's like bring him on stage I go I'm not even gonna tell him what it is. So I go dude. We're gonna go on stage and he's like what? Oh my god. He was great. Was he good? Yeah, he was funny. He was like laughing. He was cracking jokes with the comedians back and forth Wow, it was really was surprisingly great. Wait, you're not Republican. You used to be Bernie bro. Yeah Are you Bernie bro? I am. Look, I think the idea of socialism is wonderful if everybody had their shit together and everybody was disciplined.

1:07:27Yeah. But it's not the case. And I think that human nature, unfortunately, you're going to need some socialism though, right? You're going to need the fire department. Like, this is one of the things that I point to all the time. People say, oh, socialism doesn't work. The fire department is an entirely socialist idea. Like, we all pay into it and they take care of everybody's fire. You can't have only the rich people have a fire department and the poor people, they're fucking house burns down all the time. That's crazy, right? We all agree to that. Well, that should be the same with education.

1:07:57That should be the same with healthcare. Are we a fucking community or are we not? And if we're a community, you have to take care of the downtrodden and you have to do it because it's bad for them and it's also bad for you. We're all in this together. So you have to have a social safety net, I believe in all that. But I also believe you can't just give people free money because then they rely on it and they become dependent on it and then it takes away their ambition and then they don't do anything. That's true too. It doesn't mean you're not compassionate. I don't like either one of these parties.

1:08:27I don't think there's a solution that's correct. I think you have over correction after over correction. I think you have. The country goes one way and then it swings hard the other way. Yeah, America's back and then it swings the other way. Now we're the new America. America's this way. It's like everyone's so tribal and everyone's so locked into their idea that they're the good guys and these are the bad guys. We got to get them back and we're going to get them in the midterms. We're going to get them in the fucking next elections. It's crazy. It's so common to be back and forth like that. Yeah, sort of.

1:09:03It's all on who you talk to with comedy. It's like there's a lot of bitter people out there. But you know, that's that old expression. I forget who said that. We brought this up before that all criticism is the tragic result of unmet needs. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's paraphrase, but there's a lot of that there. There's a lot of like Yeah, yeah, I don't like how Jordan is like why does she have a fucking Netflix special? If she middleed for me once, she didn't do good. Yeah, did somebody say that? No. No. No. No. Dude, I'm just somebody who, I mean, I fucking all day to libertarian and become a fucking libertarian.

1:09:44I'll, somebody I'll talk to you about Israel. I'll listen to fucking one Sam Harris episode now, all of a sudden I'm fucking Zionist. I'll talk to it. I talked to John Marco the other day. Now I'm fucking all pro -pals at like whatever it is I switch right and forth and then I do podcasts and people are like, you are. And I'm like, I'll tell you what I am. I'm an idiot, dude. I will switch. I will move. like, but I do think that's what makes a comedian is somebody who can try on so many different perspectives. And it is hard that people are looking at comics like politicians. You're not an idiot, because both sides have points.

1:10:13That's why you can be swayed one way or another. Oh, double down. Yeah, but I mean, doubling down is just going down the rabbit hole of whatever that ideology believes, because like they probably have a really good pitch. Yeah. And then, you know, if you talk to the socialists, they probably have a real good pitch. Yeah, you know, it's just, but I double down in a way that's like, I'll be like this things fucking bad and then the next day I'll be like actually it's pretty good like I'll I'll stop eating meat and being like anybody we eat to meet sucks And then somebody be like want to bite his burger the iron or hit me and I'll be like fuck cows, dude like I go too hard in the paint on both sides and I do I remember I remember in college These girls would bully me and I remember being like why don't you guys like me and they were they go You just have too strong of convictions and I was like oh interesting because I always thought that was a good thing And I think for comedy it is to be like, you get up on stage or you do a podcast and you go, what if I just try on this idea hardcore?

1:11:09And that's like an interesting thing to do as opposed to being like, oh, I see you. And this is kind of good. And that's good too. You know, like there is something about comedy just being like, what if this is the truth right now? That's an interesting thing to say to someone. You're too strong with your conviction. I'll never forget that. I will never forget the girls that it. Did the girl give you an example? It was just, I would talk the way I talk where they'd be like, you know, I'd be like, women need to stop wearing dresses. High heels are ridiculous. Or I'd be like, men need to do this.

1:11:39Or women, you know, or I'd be like, or I'd be like, I'm gonna go ahead and say diners need to go. You know, like whatever it was. Right, right, right. Just, I'd be in or out on topics immediately. And they'd be like, you're just like two intense with your thoughts. And they'd be like, yeah, totally. every every I mean this is like why I would be bad Nazi Germany I mean I hopefully would be okay but I know I'd be somebody be like wait no wait no it's crazy well I mean there's got to be some sort of a psychological reason why all those people went along with that right there's I mean yeah they went a lot I think a lot of it was yeah I mean I think a lot of it was just kind of dissociation right but there's a little bit of that but then there's also So there's a tribal mentality that kicks in.

1:12:26Like there's a default switch that happens to people. Yeah. And in this country, you saw a lot of it during COVID. It was like the vaccinated people were hating on the unvaccinated. They should have their children taken away and like put them into camps. Like, do you hear yourself? Hear yourself? It's so weird because it's such a different, like I was with so many anti -vaxxers. Like I was, they were my friends. But I was like, oh, I'm getting vaccinated because number one thing that's important to me is comedy. I have no idea. If the vaccine gave me long COVID, if COVID gave me long, whatever the fuck, but I just have to perform.

1:12:58That's, my health comes second. Did you get long COVID? Bro, my shit is fucked up. I can't, like those ubers that have those smelly trees, I have to get out, I get immediate migrants. Like because my smell is fucked up. Your smell's fucked up. Like if you have deodorant that has like chemicals in it, it's rancid to me. Really? Yeah, and so many people were coming up to you. That's your long COVID, do you just smell things? Smell, it's bad though. I don't think you can call that long COVID. Long COVID, yeah, long COVID is people that are exhausted and they have like heart palpitations and yeah.

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1:15:06Transporting viewers to the dawn of a new era as it follows the strongest fighter the sport had ever seen from the heights of fame to rock bottom and back again. Watch the smashing machine in theaters everywhere October 3rd. Yeah, but it sucks. If somebody's wearing cologne, I'm like, I gotta go. Perfect. Yeah. That's like you got a wolf nose. I got a wolf nose. Yeah, that's great. Somebody's gotta change the way you look at it. You're right. Yeah. I thought I had long COVID, and then I stopped eating sugar. I thought I had the bad one. And then I stopped eating candy, and I was like, man, hello.

1:15:44It's crazy. What an idiot. Bro, candy wrecks your shit, isn't it, nuts? And I was a whore, little candy slut. Ooh, little candy slut. I was an idiot. Well, you say long COVID can cause altered smell. There it is, person. Or a parasomia where things smell distorted, foul or different than they used to, even if the initial COVID -19 symptoms have passed. So did you get this after you got, like when did this start happening? Did you get COVID? Yeah, I got vaccinated six times, but of course you did. You got vaccinated. Yeah. People didn't get vaccinated. They got it once or twice. Really? Yeah. Shit.

1:16:19Yeah, they fucked you. They fucked everybody. They fucked everybody with that goddamn stupid thing. I got it hard. See, I'll talk to you about this. And then tomorrow, my liberal mom will be like, the vaccine is good. And I'll be like, yes, mommy. It's a long conversation. It would take a long time to explain what was wrong. But it all boils down to the same thing that it always does which is money. They distorted the facts They distorted the research. They distorted the efficacy. They distorted what it was actually designed to do Just because they wanted money. That's it. Did we pay them for the vaccine?

1:16:52Oh fuck. Yeah, they made us hit ton. Oh money Might have been free for you. I like the idea of money, but aren't weren't isn't your camp in on like control, mind control, not mind control, but knowing where we are, like anti -vax people. I'm not an anti -vax person. What are you? No. Give yourself a label. No, no, no, no, no, no. I believe that all medications should be subject to scrutiny. They should all go through rigorous, double -blind, placebo -controlled trials to find out what The side effects are what the efficacy rate is, what's the real facts behind it? Then we'll just lie about that.

1:17:33But this is why. This is why. The problem is pharmaceutical drug companies do their own research. Not only do they do their own research, but they do their own research that they hide. So they'll do multiple studies that show no efficacy. And then they'll rig one study where they can show just like a little bit of improvement and then they just sell it and they start going with it. And they've done that before. They got sued because of Viox. Viox killed 50, 60 ,000 people and through internal emails. The pharmaceutical drug company was saying we're going to have these problems and it listed all the different things that people want to get in clean strokes.

1:18:11We're gonna have these cardiovascular problems, cardiopulmonary problems, but whatever the wording was, I don't wanna be quoted on it, but it will be good for us financially. We'll do well with this. It's in the email. Yeah, in the email we'll do well with this it killed 50 to 60 thousand people a Friend of mine got a stroke. He got on viox because he had knee problems It was an anti -inflammatory medication Sometimes there's fishy shit like that like sometimes I'll take pro -Zach from one place and from a different place Very different thing. Yeah, because it's from Mexico. Yeah, some weird Yeah, what do you think about ozampic?

1:18:49We talked about that the other day with a guy who runs a pharmacy. The problem with it is that when they're dosing it out to people, they're giving everyone the same dose and it should be dependent upon like how much weight are you trying to lose? What is your body weight? There's a bunch of different factors. Isn't it just that it holds onto poop? Well, it doesn't seem to be good for you. If your poop is sitting in your body, it's poop stays in your body a little longer and and food digest slower, and it kills your appetite. But if you're morbidly obese and you might die from that, this is probably a good solution.

1:19:25So it's not a, it's like, don't throw out the baby with the bath water. I don't want it, I don't need it. But if I did, if I was 600 pounds and I was in this, and then someone said, look, and I can give you this thing, it'll kill your appetite. Like, fucking please. Yeah. Please. Totally. So it's beneficial for that. And then there's a problem with muscle loss and bone density loss, but my friend Brigham, who is on the other day, who the episode's out now. But he was saying that the issue is that they're giving him too much of a dose, and if you mix it with other peptides, you can actually eliminate those problems.

1:19:56So there's a way to dose it out for people that are, and you would just lose nothing, but fat, it is possible to do. It just has to be done correctly. So he was explaining. And right now it's Willie Nellie. Well, right now everyone's just getting on it, instead of just going to the gym, there's people that need to lose 20 pounds, they're getting on those zemper. That's crazy. You can lose 20 pounds in a couple months. The thing that's frustrating is because I used to be so fat. I used to have type 2 diabetes and I got rid of it, which is crazy. And it's frustrating. And you're still eating all that shirt?

1:20:26Dude, well that's the thing. I can eat sugar exclusively, lose weight if I only eat the candy. Like it was like this bizarre diet I would go on. And then I just had to like switch my mind, but that mental switch of being like, this is not for fun. This food is not for fun. You've had your fun. Like you did that. You did the candy, you did the pizza, you did all that. Now we're using food as like the same way we use sleep. Where it's like, I feel better when I get eight hours, right? Right. And once you do that switch, it feels like things click into place. So with people on O's and pick, I'm like, if you could just get that turn of your brain, it would help some, if you could just, it does feel like a switch where you're like.

1:21:07But think about what you had to go through with acid to get all those D's. It's like, now imagine you're 600 pounds and you've been eating candy for 35 years. Yeah. That's, you know, it's a big switch. It's a battleship. You can't just fucking, right? I think we're covering it. So you gotta turn that motherfucker around. Did you see a sugar diet going viral earlier this year? Yeah, I know Mark Bell was really into that. Unlimited sugar restricted protein ever be a good thing. What is the good is about? What? Literally, I swear I was paying attention to myself. Like there's no way you're saying to see candy.

1:21:39It's not just candy, but I thought he was fucking around. It notes like fruit, but he's like, if candy's all you got, it's not the worst thing. But it's low protein, right? Yeah, it's like a certain amount of protein. There's a video of him explaining it if you wanna watch that. So he weighs 95 kilograms, which is what is that? Like, 205 pounds. Yeah, the video I just saw you said he was like, 207 to 10, he was gonna get under 200. Does he have a face? Can we see his face? Oh, he's a handsome guy. Good looking guy. But it doesn't work with him, because he's really fit and he's been doing a bunch of different stuff his whole life.

1:22:08Like he was carnivore dying for a long time. It's not. No, dude. See the deep sunken lines? That's sugar. He's like 50 years old. No, this is the new thing. Like he was always like this. This is what he looked like forever. And he used to be gigantic. You know what, he used to be like power. This was a moment we'd be like, that's anorexia. Because when I told people I was only eating sugar, they were like, that's anorexia. Hold on, show what he looks like, Jamie. Show, go to his Instagram and wait, you see how fit this guy is. Like this guy is in tremendous shape. Now protein, all the veins are gut getting me.

1:22:41Well, he's always had those. But that's my point. Like click on that one on the right hand side. Like, look, that's what we're talking about. He's a big jack dude. So for him to do this diet and say, you know, look, I've got this body, but a bitch, you always have that body. Yeah. I don't know. No, I mean, I've gotten very skinny off the all -sugar diet, but it has effects, yeast infection, all the time. Deep, dark circles. From sugar. from sugar, fucks up your sleeve. When did you stop with the sugar? Like two months ago? Oh. But I'm having ice cream today, because my special came out. But we've been planning.

1:23:17We have been planning. We're going to Amy's. I think we're going to have it. It's a great spot. Yeah. But I've been off sugar. It just helps a lot. I've just been doing fats and stuff like that, which is great. And I can eat as much as I used to be like, I had to everything I ate. I had to do a tiny amount. And now it's like I can eat as many eggs in avocado. Isn't that nuts? It doesn't even seem like it's real. I know. If you just ate nothing but steak, you would lose weight. Everyone's like, no way. Like, yeah, because your body would regulate correctly when you're done, you're done. Like, if you sit down, you have a 16 -out steak.

1:23:50If you really only need 12 ounces, after 12 ounces, you'll stop eating. Yeah. That's all you're eating. But if you have mashed potatoes there, and then a bowl of pasta, and then an ice cream, and then a cake. Yeah. Try eating cake after you ate a whole avocado. You're like, blah, you don't. The fact gets you. It's so crazy. Also, your gut biome switches, and your gut biome doesn't crave sugar anymore. It's that candida. The candida is what I did. The candida diet. Because every time I got my period, I had a yeast infection. And then it was just, I was itchy. And I was like, what's going on? And I was like, I had brain fog and I chatchy -beetated.

1:24:25And I was like, oh, you're riddled with candida. And I was like, oh, I'll try the diet. And then I immediately started thinking faster and was not itchy at all. Yeah, bizarre that your gut biome has an effect on your personality. It's fucked up. It's fucked up. It's fucked up. Yeah. Well, we are a literal ecosystem. We want to think of ourselves as a person, but we're really like a life form that houses life forms. Yeah. I think it's because our control panel is up here makes us think that we're this like unit that we can fuck with. Like I think if our eyes were here, we would maybe be like, this is a whole collective system, but this fucks us up.

1:25:01Like I was watching this fat huge tall guy eat an ice cream cone the other day and his arm was like this And he was like six seven he was just licking it and I was like it looks like this little man Is eating this ice cream cone unbeknownst to this giant body down like it looks like this little guy's just riding this big guy And I think that if we could just slide this fucker down. Yeah body awareness of what you are as a whole But that's also a lot of people don't do anything with their body So their body is just like a truck that they drive around right and we do have a mouth I have a vagina which is a mouth, you know what I mean?

1:25:32We have the fucking more face down there. There's the uterus is a fucking another head and the gut and everything. We just don't have eyeballs there, so we forget about it completely. Really? It's a head? I think so. Yeah, it's a fucking whole thinking thing. Your gut is freaking always praying. It's definitely thinking. Your heart thinks too. There's neurons in your heart. But the serotonin and the gut and the brain and stuff. It feels pretty balanced. It's just the eyeballs. Fuck us up. Well, if we could have an understanding that you're an actual system, It would be a lot better for people because so many people just think like oh, I don't want to worry about my body I'm worried about my brain like they think it's almost like vain to think about your body.

1:26:07Yeah, vain is stupid Yeah, it's okay, but there's no virtue in being a weak piece of shit. I think that's not good for you Yeah, and it's not intelligent. Yeah, it's not intelligent to not take care of your body stupid Yeah, it's crazy. It is yeah, and the second I start I stopped working out It is so weird how much pent -up energy and then I'm like lethargic and then I have to eat sugar and it all It's fucking crazy. Also, you start getting anxiety. You're like, oh, start reaching. Anytime I participate in self -deception in any way, it bleeds into everything. Anytime I'm neglecting some part of my life, you can like smell it on me.

1:26:43The second I walk in, I'm like, hey, sorry. I shouldn't be, you know, I have this whole air. And it's like, I just needed to do my dishes. I would have been fine. That's me and Multimousashi. Oh, that's the sword. So like literally, that's his book. because like you have to be balanced. You have to balance everything. That's good. But then sometimes don't you go sicko mode, where you go, fuck it. Yeah. Kind of, but not for long periods of time. Do you drink? Yeah, but I don't. I haven't drank in a long time, but I will. Yeah. I'll have a glass of wine. But it's been like, it was many months before I had anything and then I had like a margarita.

1:27:19I was like, okay. You felt nothing. I mean, I didn't do it because I was an alcoholic. I did it because it's bad for you. I was like, why am I doing this? Because I drink at my club. I have a couple of drinks at the club, couple nights a week, and then I'll go out with my wife, have a drink or two, and then maybe I'll do a podcast with someone who wants to have a drink, and so we'll have a little whiskey, clean classes, and we're talking, get a little tipsy. After a while, you're poisoning yourself. You're drinking 7, 10, 15 drinks in a week. Like that's not good. and then I stopped and I was like, oh my God, it feels so much better.

1:27:58And then I felt stupid. I felt stupid for not doing it. I did the same thing. I'm a sugar addict and a love addict. I'm not an alcoholic, but I was like, I can't be having extra sugar where I'm not, where I don't need it. Is that me eating so much candy? So you got off the alcohol because of the sugar? I had to choose. I was like, it's sweetest fish or alcohol. I had to make this decision. And I was puffy all the time. I couldn't stand the little puff. That's not good either. Yeah, the puffy's bad. And then you have a glass of wine because you're like, I can treat and I'd be like just like fully retarded.

1:28:29Instantly, right? Yeah, because your body's not used to it. Yeah, and so I was like, well this isn't that fun either. So I'll just not do it. Yeah, I think a lot of people more now than I think ever before are abstaining from alcohol. Well, there's just a study recently about young people, about alcohol consumption and young people is down by, what was the number? So I think it's something crazy, like 25%. Well, it's because they're not having sex. Is that what it is? I mean, Gen Z, I need to touch this. You need to touch that. That's Harlan Williams snake. I love Harlan Williams so much. And it was so much.

1:29:00I love him too. It was on the table when Trump was here and he got so happy that his snake. So he had that snake in his pants the entire time. He was doing a podcast and he told me that he got a tapeworm and that he named his tapeworm, Dimitri. And I'm like, you have a worm? Yeah, I got a worm. I picked it up. And it was just gagged. Yeah. At the end, he pulled his like, the other worms coming out like, uh, reaches in his head. He had it the whole time. He pulled out this fucking snake and he puts it on the table. And it's been there ever since. So when I had Trump on the podcast, he was so happy that Demetri, the snake was on the table.

1:29:33His pants, his little snake pants. That's awesome. That's such a look at this. That's, I love how dude. Harlan was talking to us about Rocketman and how they didn't put out Rocketman because there's a song in it where he imitates being Chinese. Like he does it with everybody. He does it with German where he's like, I love his, I leave in the world. And then he does a Chinese accent where he's like, ta -chang -chang -chang, right? Yeah. And they just like buried it. Like that came out with Tarzan. And they buried the shit out of Rocketman and let Tarzan like take the... And I was like, I looked it up.

1:30:10Tarzan is like based off seriously racist, original story. Was it really? Yeah. Which is so interesting. Like Rocketman. Rice Burrows the original Tarzan. Was it was it your rice burrows? Is Tarzan the one where it's like M. Will be yeah, yeah, Tarzan look up Tarzan racist ties is there. So from the original book I think so yeah like the original original. What was old old story. Yeah, white guy who lives with the chimpanzees and figures it out. He lives at the age becomes a king of course. Yeah, but I think even before then it was more racist. I mean, this was a Google. This could have been one of the things.

1:30:49I mean, I don't think I've ever read it. I think I've read the comic books. I've seen the movies. I don't think I ever read Tarzan, the Edgar Wright Sparrow's novel. No, I haven't read that either. I think this was pretty that though. But this could have been me googling and finding it and being like C. But Rocketman getting, Rocketman's so good. And if I had seen that as a kid, I would have been so stoked. So it's one of Harlan's comedies? Yeah, yeah, his first. Okay. So it's his first movie and he's so goofy in it, but he does all these voices for different nationalities and it One of my best Chinese and it's such a funny scene and 1997 yeah Did you find I don't think even think I knew about that movie it's I didn't know about it either But we had Harlan on the pod and Ian was like I'm obsessed with this movie So then me and Ian watched it and it's like the best.

1:31:36It's like exactly what you want your kid to see It's like a doofus who makes it as an astronaut because he's smart in his own. But they fucked up with the Chinese thing, huh? Was the one accent that you can't make fun of? One accent, he did all the other accents. So weird. I don't get that. Why is that the one? We live in a bizarro time. It's very weird. It's a very weird time. It's also funny because Disney was like, yeah, the scene goes in, we approve it. And then they're like, wait, actually, that's fucked up. Well, people approved dumb shit all the time. Yeah. Fear factor they improve people drinking calm And that's what the show yeah, dude.

1:32:15I was obsessed and piss I was about to say did you ever watch it again? I'm like you're on it, but those people do not I Used to think they were like hot people. They're like trash little trash Like growing up when I was watching I was like oh my god I want to grow up to look like her and then I look back and I'm like this is white dreads crazy lunatics I was obsessed with that show. Well, they made them drink calm, but is it what a bowl come? It was donkey Oh, yeah, Donkey come and Donkey urine. They had to play horseshoes to see how much donkey come and donkey urine. Do they say come? Oh? Seem sperm.

1:32:49I think we said sperm. Oh, why and they aired it? Well, not really see that's what got back to drinking the come not having your episode. I know People drank the come and didn't win the come is not a problem for me I would drink the come would be more of a problem You're in fine for me. It was the spiders in the mouth. The gals chose the urine over the come or the or the come rather over the urine, but oh yeah, okay Would rather hilarious to think it's Gaiju's the episode is called donkey juice, but I don't know if that's really what it's called See the thing is it never aired. I think donkey juice was like the internal name for the episode or this stunt but So it did air in other countries though.

1:33:30That's why you can still watch it on YouTube because I think an air Denmark or some shit. They had to just jerk off a bunch of donkeys. No, no. How did they get the cup? I used to have a bit about it in my act. They take the time to put it in. And they shove it up the donkeys ass. And they shock their prostate. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They just bust. They love that shit. That's a donkey rape. It's more than that. It's kind of alien you're an angel abducting this donkey and forcing it to come that's brutal. I know with a lecture shock And then you know they got like a Tube in the end where they're collecting it all for a show that's we had buckets of it and the How many donkeys how many donkeys got jacked off because there was buckets of it look no no yeah, oh yeah, oh I always assumed that was fake.

1:34:28Oh no, it was super real. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. That's crazy. There's laws, like there's laws, which was really good because like people say, how do we get on fear factor? Like if you've ever met me, you can't get on the show. So you can't talk to me about it. If you want to get on the show, you can't talk to me right now. Yeah. And it will like get me out of conversation. That's good. Yeah. That's really good. Yeah. Cause I can't help anybody get on the show. But there's laws like you can't say it's donkey come when it's not donkey come. It, it is come. You're drinking come. Yeah, otherwise your your shows not a game show anymore How they get all that stuff all the worms so many worms farms This oh yeah for bait.

1:35:06Yeah, and then cockroach farms with the people that eat cockroaches They had to put them on a specific diet for X amount of time before they're allowed to be Consumed by people. Yeah, you can't just have a meat and garbage and rotten meat And the sliders in the mouth where they were climbing out that was the one that made my sister would watch to torture ourselves where they were couldn't get the spider in the mouth because it was climbing out. Yeah, it was brutal. Ridiculous show. I literally signed up for it because I thought it was going to be canceled immediately and I'd have a lot of material.

1:35:35Were you able to tell jokes on it? No. No, they made me get the shenanigans. No, if I said something that they thought was controversial most of the time they would edit it out. Did Jackass come, Jackass was after fear? No, I think it was before. was like, during, I guess. Was it? I think so. Okay. The first one was survivor. Survivor was the first one on TV. Yeah. Which is still on the air, which is crazy. That is good. I thought the Oz ones, that was a reality show. There was ones before that, right? There was totally poly. That was kind of a reality show. Oh, okay, okay. You know, but. Totally poly.

1:36:12Was that poly? Polysure. Yeah. He had a, like a very famous MTV reality show. Totally poly. Where you just fucked around just traveled around met people that's a reality show but like I'm not wrong right wasn't survivor the first one of those kind of shows a game show Not you know like a game show, but a reality reality reality game show I think so I mean it definitely caught There was that wave that came out around the same year as like American Idol. What year did it survivor start? I think it's like 90s Yeah Yeah, so survivor was the first one. That was that was the big one. I just can't believe it's still in the air That's nuts was fear factor 2000 maybe 31st 2000.

1:36:57Oh, so it was only like a year before fear factor because fear factor started in 2001 They're gonna do a new one now that who the hell's hosting it? Wait Johnny Knoxville. Yeah survivor comes full circle. No fear factor I think there's a new fear factor that Johnny Knoxville's gonna host That's awesome. So it all comes full circle. And you hated it. No. No, I didn't hate it. It's just like, it was a job. You were really sweet to the people. I was trying to be. You were very nice to them. I tried to be nice. I remember being like, that's a comforting, you'd be a good -assed person to trip acid.

1:37:31You know what I mean? You'd be a citter. Maybe that's how you got good it. I mean, that's a fucked up trip to be like, you're going to put these fucking things in your mouth. There's that. But I would also Some people would be scared to do a stunt and I'd be like look we have to make money You 100 % can do this You know people that have never really Completely challenged themselves are not sure of where their boundaries lie and they get really scared Yeah when something new and crazy is about to happen They they get overwhelmed by anxiety and you can get them and go hey, hey listen to me You know that voice in your head telling you not to do this?

1:38:06Yeah, fuck that voice You can do this and when you get done you're gonna be so happy You're gonna be so happy, but you just have to do it. It's not gonna be nearly as bad as you think it is Just force yourself to do it and you could do it and they would do it Yeah, it's like I when I was a kid from the time I was like 15 years old. I was teaching martial arts so I am used to coaching people I bring people to tournaments and people that were scared and then we're gonna have to fight and compete and I would coach them in the corner right? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just went to the Serrano Katie Taylor.

1:38:39Oh, did you really? It's a great fight. Dude, I have, can I say I am straight as they come, but Katie Taylor, man, you get some of that. Dude, I just think she's the most attractive woman. The way she goes, and I fight for the Lord. And she's like, dude, when they're all fucking brain fucked afterwards, and she's like, I just want to go ahead and thank everybody for coming on. And I'm number one. And you're like, nobody knows what you're saying. and the brain damage though is crazy. Eye box and I'm not. I still box? Yeah, I box, but I don't, I mean, I, when my trainer is in town, but even sparring, I'm like, we gotta do this occasionally because I'm fucking fucked up afterwards.

1:39:15Yeah, I have friends that still spar, I'm like, stop doing that. Stop sparring and they just fight. Well, that's rare. Most fighters spar. There's a few that don't like max Halloween for a while wasn't sparring because he was trying to preserve himself for fights, but then when he had a fight Dustin, oh, he had Justin Gage here, I think it was. With Justin Gage, he's like, I gotta start sparring again because I'm gonna fight someone who's really dangerous. You can't have any. It's just so, when you started boxing, I was like, I'm never gonna start, that's crazy. And then like a month in, I was like, so addicted and it was so much fun.

1:39:51It felt like you were training so that you could sparr. It is fun to do. And then I would do a podcast and be like, I'll sit in the base and I'd be like, Oh, I can't do that. We can't do that. And you listen to Serrano and Katie, when they're like fighting in those press conferences, and it sounds like two drunk kids. Like they're like, you know, she fucking said that we were gonna, and you're like, this is, I cannot be doing that. Well, the real rough one is, and you talk to guys that are in their 50s, and they've retired for years, and they're slurring their words, you barely understand what they're saying.

1:40:23Yeah, fuck. Yeah, and they have so much money, but what do they? Well, some of them don't even have the money anymore. Usually they go through a few divorces because they're crazy. No one can stay with them. They're out of their fucking mind. And they're probably alcoholics because their brains completely shattered. Do they get, do men get more aggressive when they get brain damage? Yeah, they definitely can. It depends entirely on the individual. But the women get CT. Oh yeah, 100%. Yeah, they can get aggressive too. They get real impulsive men and women that have brain damage. It's getting impulsive.

1:40:57They can't control their instincts their impulses rather They addiction problems because they feel off right? So the way you make alcohol to get to calm down or do cocaine a lot of them wind up doing coke to feel up because They're fried. Yeah, you're fried your brains cooked your endocrine systems all fucked up your pituitary glands been bouncing around It's how you're fucking skull is your brain fucked? Did you get a little bit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When did you stop? Well, I stopped fighting when I was 22, I think, with my last fights. And I stopped sparring when I was like 27 or 28. Oh, good.

1:41:36So you had the dummy. I did a little bit sparring later. When I was in my 30s. Do you do Jitsu? Do you do Jitsu? Do you grapple with you? But yeah, but the brain damage you get from that is rare. It's not. Maybe I should do that. My mom always tells me that it would be fun. Do you find him does it? Ask her about it. Okay, I just the boxing the hitting. Yeah, don't do that. But I like, but even just training with mitts. I have such a rage issue that beating the shit out of something feels like, even when I go to the gym and just beat the shit out of the bag, I feel so much better. Oh yeah, it's super good for you.

1:42:05There's nothing better to like relieve stress than hitting the bag. It's the best. Don't stop doing that. I mean, definitely keep hitting pads, but don't get any brain damage. You don't know worried about Jiu -Jitsu, the fainting. Uh -huh. Because it's these good old. You just get a blackout. The moment someone even comes close to choking you out. Yeah, if anybody does something to a risk in getting, no, any arteries touching. It's not gonna try and go, you're just gonna look falsely and touch it. I'm gonna, and they're gonna be like, I did a good job, yeah, yeah, totally. I have friends that do it and they're like, yeah, and then my bone was up against mine.

1:42:36I'm like, I'm done, doing not, no. Yeah, talk to Kim. It is rough, but it's super addictive. Once you do it and you get used to it, it's very addictive. It's like a puzzle. It's a game. Yeah, you're playing a game and you get better at the game than more you play it And you know the game is get somebody in an arm bar Right, but the arm bar is all of it is slightly representing breaking them right? Yeah, yeah Okay, you have to tap so your arm doesn't get broke the whole idea of overextending somebody's body part is brutal It is brutal. That's so gross It's gross, but it's very but I think that that's a very useful skill Very useful skill, but the boxing is just bam.

1:43:16You know, breaking somebody's nose. I could do but You couldn't break their arm. I could not know the idea of like bone coming through Oh, it's okay. Choke him put him asleep. Yeah. Have you put you put a lot of people sleep? Not a lot of people They're good feeling to be put to sleep. I don't know. You've never been put to sleep. No, never been put to sleep. No Really? No, are you scared we put a sleep? No No, I just tap why I know I'm about to go out right right right your body probably taps No, you tap. I know, but you probably, you're instinct, like even if you're like put me to sleep, you still probably be like, no, actually, no.

1:43:49No, you got to know like when you're going, right? So like if you're getting choked, if like someone's got my back and they've got a choked in, there's a point in time where I know I'm not getting out of this. You just tap. It's smart. It's stupid to fight it off because you get injured and then you want it being really fucked up. I love watching MMA. Do you? Yeah, when they jump on their backs like that, when they go full monkey style, it's Hey, dude. Have you ever been to it live? No, just that fight. It was a big deal. I went and that flick took me thinking of it. Oh, yeah, but that's a boxing match.

1:44:20You should go to a UFC live. It's bananas. Really? Yeah, it's bananas. Yeah. I loved going to this around a month. Are you at the club this weekend? Who's at the, no, I'm in Rochester this weekend. Oh, cool. There's a UFC. I was gonna say there's UFC in San Antonio on Saturday night. I'll go in New York for sure whenever it's in New York. Okay, I'll get you tickets. It's gonna be a massive square garden in November. Oh go. I'm gonna be around. Okay. Yeah I'll be so sick. Oh my god. I'm gonna wear a fur coat. Yeah, you'll love it It's why and seeing it in the garden is kind of special Yeah, where was anything?

1:44:55Oh they were in the garden, Serrano. No, yes. There was a garden. Yeah, it was a big room in a smaller room Big sold it out. Wow Serrano made 14 mil or something. I mean they made I know that's great isn't that great? That's awesome. Yeah, and the fucking the Card was incredible watching them Mass Escrow Garden has got a lot of energy in that room too. There's something crazy about that room Yeah, it's just like the amount of concerts and fights and events that have taken place and that you feel it in the building when you walk in You're like you walk in you're like whoa Intense this place is alive.

1:45:30It's awesome. Yeah, like when you go to a new arena and they're brand new and you walking the door and that's empty and you're wandering around like wow cool place But you walk in the garden like yo this place is alive. It's got memories in here. Yeah, the other ones You're like racket ball like you could you know, I mean like you could hit a racket ball around at one It's like they're the stage because I've done arenas with Tom Bunch -Sagora And you can definitely feel the ones that have like been there versus the ones that they put up recently. Yeah Yeah, they have history History is burned into buildings.

1:46:01I'm so bad at rotating. Oh, it's weird. It's so weird It's the best way though, because it's the only way you can do an arena where it's intimate. So we're talking about a stage that's round. Oh, yeah, in the round. In the round. Yeah. It's how I was like, just say a joke, then pivot. Just say it every time I get up there. And I'd be like, here's my joke. I'm going to turn to these people now. And I was going to turn every single time. That's funny though. Yeah, it was totally great. But I couldn't do the like natural rotation. The good thing about it is though, it makes the show intimate, even though there's 16 ,000 people there.

1:46:33Yeah, because there's people on this side facing people on the other side. So everybody realizes they're all in it together and the jumbo tron I mean my Netflix special is shot. I was like wherever your camera is shove it the fuck up my nose Like I'm so sick of seeing specials where I'm watching their whole body the whole time like show my face because my facial movements are like half of my joke right and In the arena you get that like I remember watching Louis We at the Hulu theater and it was just the fucking jumbo trance. He saw every little movement he was making. And I was like, that's so sick because it's so in a club you see that.

1:47:10Right. And that's what you want to see, especially if you're looking at it on the screen, which is weird. Yeah. And then sometimes you watch somebody and you're like, I should just have gone home and watch this. Right. And I would see their face. Right. But the jumbo tron fucking nails you and it's so sick. Yeah. Well, that's the good thing about the round too. You can have your back to them and they totally can still see your face. I'm always worried about my bond. It's crazy. I want like a trench coat or something. Where a trench coat? Do you like the kinesen used to do? Oh yeah. Kinesen used to wear a trench coat.

1:47:40I can go Trinity. Trinity from Matrix. Yeah, there you go. There you go. I'm obsessed with Trinity. Oh yeah. Did you ever hear that lady that claims that she wrote the Matrix and they stole the idea from her? Dude, anime wrote that fucking shit. That's just like ancient as hell. It's just her anime matrix. It's both of them. Right, she says she wrote both of them. Yeah. Is there any credibility to what she says? We don't know. I had a joke about the Matrix that people were upset about where I was upset that the Wukowski sisters were on the top 10 female directors. Oh, no. Are they really? Yeah, because I was like, if they had come into, say they had come into MGM, a sister's being like, we want to pitch a movie.

1:48:21Like in the 90s, like we want to pitch a movie. It's about a guy and he's in a simulation. they'd be like, how about you simulate my dick in your mouth? You know what I mean? And it's not like anti anything, but people still got mad. But yeah, that joke is, that was one of my favorites for a while. Because I'm obsessed with the Matrix. It's my favorite movie. It's a great movie. And I think we're about to literally live it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're real close. I'm in the camp that everything's I'm fully retarded. They just told me a lot on Twitter that AI is going to help things, not hurt things.

1:48:50I would like the record to state that this is my theory, because I think it's going to be proved right. You think that AI is going to help people not hurt things? Yes. That's interesting. How do you think that that's going to happen? I just think that the whole catastrophic, this is going to be an entity that ends all of us. I don't think it's going to do that. I think that, maybe I'm just looking at the positive side, but I think it's such a smart piece of technology that was so in the works the whole time to be made, that it's going to help us solve problems. Like I think humanity has been trying to create somebody that can work on a supercomputer level to solve problems faster and more efficiently.

1:49:32Yeah, that's definitely the best case scenario used for it. Right, but the corporations are evil and... Yeah, the problem is, they're already shown that these large language models can be programmed with ideology, right? So did you ever see the disaster they had with Google Gemini when they first launched it where they said show us images of Nazi soldiers And they had multi -racial Nazi soldiers. Yeah, they're like an Asian woman was a Nazi soldier black woman Yeah, an Indian they had a Native American lady who's a Nazi. Yeah, this is not Not real. Okay, so your ideology by making everything diverse you've distorted history like so your ideology interfered with truth.

1:50:17Okay, so that means it's programmed. But we do that when we take down all the statues. Right, but we're not supposed to be this large language model. This large language model is supposed to be eventually super intelligence in artificial form, right? So super intelligence wouldn't do that. It would know that Nazis were German and they were, you know, it wasn't Nazi that they asked for. They asked for German soldiers and then it gave people in color, which in 1943, which would have been Nazi soldiers. Yeah, why are you even getting all technic? Well, that's, I mean, you're asking a large language model to do something.

1:50:47I know, but it did show German soldiers that were wearing Nazi swastikas that were multi -racial. I'm just saying it didn't, it didn't, the question would, it had to be specific when you're talking to these things. Okay. German soldier, which happened to be Nazi. I was trying to, with that music stuff all night, and you have to be very specific when you want. Would you want to say, oh yeah? You don't think there's any possibility that it could be something that is, that we have control over, not that we have control over and we use it for, like don't you think we've always been scared about everything about signs, about microscopes, about social media?

1:51:19The printing press. Yeah. I mean, they were terrified when people first developed trains. I thought people's bodies were going to explode if they went over 35 miles an hour. Yeah. This is the human error removed is sick. Those Waymo cars are sick. The doctors using Chatsubiti, they're doing such a better job. Yeah. No, there's definitely a lot of pluses. The problem is control. It's always the problem and every person that has an enormous amount of power should be Carefully scrutinized and the kind of power that you're gonna have if you are in control of essentially a digital God Like it becomes a problem when human beings are involved now if they become completely autonomous then you have a problem with us being irrelevant.

1:52:07But that's what I'm talking about. That situation where they become autonomous. That's what I'm referring to. So say we have an autonomous entity. Why would it kill us? Why don't we go, you know what I mean? Well, I'm not saying it would. I don't think it would. I don't think it would kill us, but it would probably give us incentive to not breed, which I think if I was intelligent life force, I would kind of do it exactly the way our society is already going. Yeah, we're already doing it. Right now, we're doing it to ourselves, but that might be by design, it's my point. It might be that in order to not alarm us, that this artificial intelligence has engineered our diet and our environment to kill a reproductive system.

1:52:47And it's already doing it, but it's doing it in a very innocuous way with microplastics and a bunch of, it's doing it in a way where we don't even know what's happening, and it's just happening. On the same coin, it could be like, hey, what if we actually perpetuated the species and got it back to life like the pandas. I don't think that's gonna happen. I think what's going to happen is we are going to become hybrids. We're going to become a cyborg, like a real legitimate cyborg. I'm stoked about that. Are you? Yeah. You'd be first in the line. Oh my God, give me the frickin' parts. You see, I fainted blood, you know what blood?

1:53:19Make me a cyborg, I'm happy. I love metal, I love scrap metal, I love cars. Make me a fucking car, dude. I hate this gooey thing. I don't know what's gonna happen, but I do know it's gonna be unprecedented. It's gonna be a new thing. I'm surprised. The one thing that did freak me out is a guy the other day at Bachelor at party had the goggles on that was recording us. Oh god. When I realized that, when I was like, oh shit, I was gonna take in all of the information. Yeah. There's a lot of people wearing the metaglasses everywhere, which is like, at one point, you're like, oh well, it's cool new technology.

1:53:54No thing you're like, yeah, but people probably don't even fucking know they're getting recorded and that's kind of crazy Yeah, it's kind of weird. Also, I don't like the idea of all these digital images of things Like if they if it could Be printed out into matter and you could look at it But the idea of like your entire life like even us with the fucking iPhones All these photos stressed me the fuck out dude Because it's so much because there's something about it because it when you have a photo you're in the present with a past photo, right? Like I'm sitting here in this reality with a past reality that I can hold.

1:54:30The weird, giant vortex of memory is almost like my vortex of memory. You know what I mean? Like neither of them have matter. My memory and my brain in this brain here, I don't like that. I think that I want the memory to be contained in matter or in my memory. I don't like this being a brain. And I don't like it holding pictures of all of my past. Well, I think when you say I want to be a cyborg That's you're gonna hold all of it and you're gonna have a hard drive So instead of having a memory where it's fallible right now like your memory is like weird like when did we do that? Was that in November?

1:55:08Oh my god. That was November You'll have an actual memory just like you have on your phone where you can go back to like for you You know like you know like it suggests you on this day and you go to like 2017 like oh my god. Oh my god. They're so young. Oh my god. Look. That would feel less disembodied than this fucking weird unit that we're all addicted to. Mm -hmm. You know what I mean? It's already a part of us. It's so weird that it's just man and unit. But the unit you can just put down. You think it'll be you can put the unit down. You think we're gonna be cyborgs like it's gonna be uh -huh.

1:55:41Yeah. Like human beings will have a chip in their brain that anytime. I'm like what year was that? It might not even be a chip. It might be a wearable. Where are we going to put down? They might be able to have something that you put on the top of your head You know with electrodes that touch your temples and it just sends signals into your brain and works from there I mean who knows I it's so cutting edge and then once AI gets into the picture Right and AI if you get sensing an AI and you get AI that understands like how human neurotransmitters work and what to stimulate what not to do. They might devise ideas that we never even anticipated in terms of like how to implement this technology and it'll probably figure out how to make it better and then it'll be off to the races.

1:56:28I was so scared today because I texted my friend suicidal. She texted me about something and I wrote like tongue in cheek I'm suicidal right? Like I'm not actually but I wrote it and I was like shit my phone is now going to send me so many fucking don't kill yourself stuff. Does it do that? Yeah, dude, every time I text him shit like that, I'll go on Instagram and it'll be like, don't do this, it's he help, blah, blah. Or that's what's creepy is that you're fucking Instagram, knows what you're texting to your friends. Yeah, I've had two people recently be like, do you ever think it like, like sometimes I'll think of thought and an ad will come up.

1:57:02And like, and two people in one week said that to me. Yeah, but doesn't that just mean it's a coincidence? That means you're relying on coincidence. Watch this thing I said yesterday. I didn't, what is it? Alright, so this got announced yesterday they do not describe. Oh, yeah, I did I did I forgot yeah Go ahead. It was telepathic communication in some way with a headset They're clearly connected to something and they don't show that but these two guys start talking Those guys aren't real Why is it I've what's this music oh?

1:57:44So this one is actually translated. Let me go back to these two guys talking. No way. These just have the telepathy tapes out. It's showing like they're trying to have a communication about food. They're just there not to speak. It's really hard to like hear this. That's crazy. environment or quiet office. We just grabbed it. You could be in a party and both have the headset on and think words. All right, these fuckers have to be stopped. This is too crazy. Now you're different. Right? Yeah, that's not okay. I like a swing one way or the other. No, I just want that. These dorks, these dorks and fucking coffee shops.

1:58:23I'm going to use my alter ego to go to give you a travel tip. Yeah, it translates that into Hindi. So it starts off in English, which is at the Hindi. Whoa. And the weird thing which was you guys were just described. They don't talk about how this works yet. They literally just like put up a video on Twitter yesterday like if you want more information go to our website. And so you're describing like if they have a way to get brain waves in some way. All right, yeah, I'm out on this. I'm out on this. I'm not only picking it up on. Especially when I see the kids that are doing it. I'm like these kids are just fucking throats who are getting so far.

1:58:55They're gonna look like aliens. This isn't like the agents from the Matrix and Ben and Chad. Yeah, that's what's gonna happen. But if it was the agents from the Matrix, like some attractive men and, you know, sunglasses, suits, I'd be like, okay, where you guys have planned is probably better than reality, but those fucking torques being like, this is what we're doing now. I think no matter what we do, technology's gonna keep moving. No matter what we do. It's China's gonna do it, Russia's gonna do it, everybody with power is gonna do it. Anybody that has the resources, they're gonna keep pushing this technology.

1:59:26And if you just think where's it going? Well, it's going to that direction. You're going to become a part of some fucking giant hive mind. We're all going to be sharing thoughts together and some bizarre buzz of information that we all suck from. It's going to be real weird. It is going to be weird, but then you could have the unpluggers, which would be nice. Well, that's what it's going to be when you go to the club and you put your phone on the yonder bag. Talks shit, do stand up. Yeah, totally. I think it's one of the reasons why people love going to a comedy club now. And especially when you make them put their phone in the yonder bags because it's a game changer.

1:59:59Oh, it's such a game changer. You could actually pay attention. You actually focus. You're there. You're living in the present moment instead of constantly checking your tweets. People, you know, it's an addiction man and it's a new one. Right? It's one that didn't exist for our parents. They never had to deal with it. And we're growing up with this very bizarre connection to the whole world and a lot of it's negative. A lot of it's not. And it's also manipulated a lot of its bots. I guess I'm hoping it also gets so bad it gets better. Like I'm hoping that not to use the matrix again, that there will be a point where you can be like, I'm disconnecting for everything.

2:00:35Whereas right now it feels like we have to engage with it. Yeah. It would be nice to get to a point where it's like, oh, are you on or off? I'm off and you're like, oh, okay, I won't try and... Do you ever just disconnect your... Yeah, when I go to my house, yeah. Yeah. Totally. It disappear. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, and I just put this... That's healthy. I have like a safer I lock my... Oh, good for you. That's smart. My phone unlock candy. Candy in your phone the same. Yeah, what's harder? Candy or the phone? Candy. Yeah, of course. Fuck the phone. Candy rules, dude. Candy's so good. The phone sucks.

2:01:07It stresses me out. Candy fishes. Those are my favorite Swedish fish. Yeah, they're good. I just had a real one from Swedish. What do you mean, Swedish? The most of them forgeries? The fake, the red ones? This fake Swedish fish. Those are American bokeh. The Swedish fish are black from Sweden's. Really interesting. Probably doesn't have our nasty chemicals for the dyes. Yeah, the red 40. Yeah. Is RFK against red 40? I think so. Red. It's so funny watching RFK go through the lesbian moms that I have. Because they're so liberal, so they're like, fuck RFK. And then at one point, he's like, I want to bring back raw milk.

2:01:42And I said to watch my entire town of Ithaca be like, well, we do love raw milk. And we actually like that quite a bit. Because they're like right now siphoning raw milk illegally off of farms. It's so silly that raw milk is illegal and you go buy whiskey at Costco. It's so weird. So dumb raw milk is so good It's really good Francis Ellis is all about the raw cheese and milk. Yeah, it's good for you Yeah, and for a lot of people that have lactose intolerance. Oh, not Francis out Jason Ellis. Francis Ellis is a different Oh, Jason Ellis the comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, friends. Ellis is a comedian, but he's way more into Rortes Street chicken.

2:02:14Yeah, it's really good for you Yeah, it's just don't get it bad Don't get it where it's getting in the way. And then what happens? You just have a bugger. Probably get fucking a rancid diarrhea. Yeah, but whatever. Better than a fucking cancer. Yeah. Well, I think your body, when it's homogenized and pasteurized, it's like, what is this? There's no enzymes. What is this water protein? You're making me drink that I'm gonna fart out. Yeah. I bet we could drink endless raw milk. I bet we could really go ham on raw milk and cheese. Hmm. Swedish fish is a taste supposed to be called a lingonberry. A Lincoln berry.

2:02:48But the black stuff is a different kind. It's called Salmiac, which is black salted licorice. That shit is good. And I think that is that your shit? The ammonium chloride? Ammonium chloride. Nice. Probably not better than red 40. I don't know. Well, it's Google ammonium chloride. We assume everything in order countries do is better. I know. It's crazy. We assume smelling salts. They'll be in the audience and I'll be like, oh, you think you're better than me? And they're like, no, we really like you. White crystalline water soluble salts. Oh, form from ammonia and hydrogen chloride. Use primarily as a fertilizer and expectorant and cold medications and components soldering and galvanizing fluxes to clean metal surfaces.

2:03:28Also found in dry cell batteries such as a flavoring agent in its natural form, it's called salamoneac. It's very delicious. It's good. Well, it's like monosodium glutamate. Everybody was scared of that for the longest time. and Bourdain and I were talking about it and he's like, no, he's like, it's good. He's like, it makes the food taste better. I go, right, it does, right? He's like, yeah, I go, what do you think about all this stuff about it being bad for you? I think it's bullshit. Yeah. And what does it do? It's just a monosodium glutamate is like what they would always put. The thing was it was always, you would hear that it was used in Chinese food.

2:04:07But it was used on a lot of food. I remember when I worked at Newport, Kramer, they used to have some laying around. I think oh yeah, you go into places where you can MSG is every time yeah, there's a name that there was a product MSG enhances umami flavors with less sodium about one third the sodium salt like NACI primarily Wasn't it called accent? Wasn't there something like that where there was a monosodium glutamate product that they would have for restaurants? God, I can't remember what it was called. Is it accent? Yeah, there it is. That's a good rebrand. Global food company known for amino signs, the mommy seasoning, yeah, that's it.

2:04:55So they'd have like a tub of that stuff, you throw it in whatever the fuck you're cooking, it made it taste better. What was the, but monosodium glutamate was like the thing that everybody was always blaming. Oh, I got to stay away from Chinese food, that fucking MSG kills me. It's so good. It's like that's bullshit. But why did we say that? I don't know. It's probably one of those things that we got stuck with like saturated fats bad for you because some Cut got a lot of money from the sugar lobby. Yeah, so they wrote some fake science Like there's not a bad guy. Yeah, those guys fucked everybody so hard and they did it for 50 grand They did it for 50 grand like the 1960s and forever we've been fucked We've been I would felt for a long time 60 years everybody's Well, well, good stay away from it stay away from fat But the perceptions of MSG's danger stem from the anecdotal reports and flawed early studies, not from consistent scientific evidence.

2:05:48For most people, MSG does not cause health problems. However, a small subset of the population may be sensitive to it and experience temporary mild symptoms. So what's the mild symptoms? Headaches, nausea, drowsiness, flushing or sweating. Maybe you just ate too much fat fuck. It was once called the Chinese restaurant syndrome. Now known as MSG symptom complex. These symptoms often appear within two hours and are typically mild. Yeah, but also you probably ate like a pig. Also whiskey again. Difficulty breathing in rare severe cases. You probably drank beer and ate 50 bowls of noodles. You fat fuck.

2:06:30Is RFK pro fucking, is he like pro checking all of this stuff? Is any of the anti just like let it all run or is he? No, he thinks you should know what's bad for you. And if you want to take it, you should, there should be a label on the food letting you know that the stuff in there has been shown to cause X, Y and Z. Okay. That's it. Like he doesn't say we need to get rid of cigarettes or we need to get rid of whiskey. Like if you don't say that, those two things. If you don't say no more cigarettes, no more whiskey. If you don't say that, then shut up. So the left is worried about deregulation, right?

2:07:06You're worried about deregulation. Is that true? Yeah, I'm with many things. Yeah, I'm with environmental concerns. I'm sure they're worried about deregulation with banking and industry. They're worried about deregulation. Is there any party that's just pro -regulation? Is there any party that's just pro -regulation? Is there any party that's just pro -regulation? Regulate AI, regulate Instagram, regulate? I think the Democrats are much more interested in regulating things. Like if you look at the most regulated states, their Democrat run states. Like California has a lot of red tape and regulations if you want to get anything.

2:07:37Socialist is the most regulated. Yeah, because they want control. They want more control from the government. They have a bigger bloated government and the way to keep that functioning is you got to go through hoops and ladders to get through anything. Anything you want to get done. I just like it's all or nothing. I feel like you have to regulate everything or regulate nothing. No, some regulation is good. Like your parents are contractors, right? There's a good example. You Too much regulation there. Too much regulation, but you need inspectors. Fuck the inspect, they suck. Okay. You can't say that because if your family does a good job, and I'm sure they do, that's fine, but there's a bunch of fly -by -night fuckheads that make a house and don't follow code, and then shit goes sideways and fall apart.

2:08:19But that shit is so corrupt. That stuff is like, I mean, the bureaucratic bullshit the contractors have to go through a psycho. That's true, too. I used to be a contractor, too. the amount of I should have been, I think there's a comfortable medium. I don't. My stepdad was an architect, so I grew up around construction sites as well. So you know that was frustrating that guy is? I do, but I also know that there's a lot of shady mother fuckers that are involved in construction and you've got to make sure these assholes follow code otherwise this house is going to collapse and kill everybody inside.

2:08:49People suck. Some people suck. They cut corners, they save money, they do things all half -assed and you need someone to go and inspect it. But then it's weird to not have regulation on other there's no regulation with social media. I mean, unless it's the censorship shit. Right. That's it's weird. And it's really bad for you. Psychologically, it might be one of the worst things that's ever happened to like collectively society. Psychologically. Like if you look at Jonathan Hades book, did you ever read his book, the coddling of the American mind? No. It's all about, he's great. It's all about social media and then self -harm with girls.

2:09:27This is a big thing. Self -harm, suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts. That all comes like this because ramps way up when social media gets introduced. And there should just be elected committees, elected psychological committee, elected philosophical committee. Who, who's going to tell you can and can't do it? Who's going to say you should and shouldn't say things? If you don't like it, you should get off of it. And that's what I do. I just stay off of it for the most part. Yeah, but these kids are just, I know. But so is booze, right? They have to know, don't do that. It'll ruin your life. Don't do this.

2:10:02This could ruin your life too. Like, and it also suck your time. It needs to be regulated like a drug. Eh. Boo's gonna be the one. Who's gonna tell you what we, I don't want anybody telling me I can't go on Twitter. If I'm at home and I have nothing to do and I pay taxes, I fucking my bills are paid, I wanna just fuck off. Any tactic for attention monopolization has to be removed, it says the committee that doesn't exist. Like, you know how you feed them. It's not monopolization because you shut it off any time you want. But it pulls you in, it sends you alerts, it gives you the dopamine thing, it gives you.

2:10:39I don't have alerts on. I've never had alerts on. But those kids do. People they should shut that shit off. So much to teach them how to use it correctly. And also tell them like, Okay, this is a lot of negativity and a lot of these people are wasting their life on this shit. You're wasting your time. But I know that and I just fell into a dark hellhole last night. Like it's hard to avoid. It's it's it is, but you can do it. I do it. Yeah, but I can do it. But 13 year old Jordan would be fucking hanging from that closet at the Airbnb. I mean, it would be rough. 15 year old Joe would be tweeting horrible shit at every celebrity.

2:11:11Oh, oh, just horrible shit. That's the other thing horrible shit. Yeah, under fake accounts you can make 30 different accounts. Yeah, make a new Gmail address make a new account All they have is right to your dress. No more fake accounts Yeah, but then the thing is whistleblowers are important right if someone is in the government And there's some shady shit going on and you can expose it and you don't want to die Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't want to get Seth riched. Yeah, but isn't there another way to whistleblow like graffiti or something? It doesn't work. I am billboard. It can't go viral. Yeah.

2:11:44Billboards don't go viral. You got to be able to express yourself without fear of consequences because there's a lot of people that don't have any power and there's a government or maybe you find out that the corporation you work for is doing some horrible shit and they're bypassing some environmental regulation and dumping toxic stuff into the ocean. Well, maybe it just comes down to regulating the corporations and being like, bro, you You can't make money off of people's data. You can't make money off of... That's a problem because they didn't... We didn't know when we all signed up for it. The data was going to be this massive commodity.

2:12:19Not always very valuable, but then it gives them insane power. The people that have all that money and have all that power. Now they're in control of, you know, essentially all social discourse. So maybe that's the thing that needs to be regulated. I don't know. just like when they do regulate it then it's like like you did you ever read the Twitter files did you read any of the stuff that Matt Taiibi and Sheldon Burger and all these guys when Elon purchased Twitter one of the things they found out was the intelligence communities have been deeply embedded into Twitter and then they were involved in suppressing certain narratives and pushing other ones and it was like really sketchy stuff like dangerous dangerous stuff because if they have the power to suppress accurate real information.

2:13:07Then you're propagandizing to the entire country. You're shifting narratives, you're changing the way people think about things. This can affect elections, this can affect public health, this can affect everything. And they were doing that. And they were doing it because they had regulation over social media. They had power. Elon comes along and he's like, fuck that. It's Wild West time and opens it wide up. And everyone's like, oh, it's all racist now. There's not. He's like, yes, there's more of that now because it's not getting banned. But also there's more people that can talk about virtually anything that they want to.

2:13:44And you can debate it out. You can talk about the climate. You can talk about the moon. You can talk about asteroids. You can talk about foreign governments. You can talk about anything. And that's better. It's better to have people say horrible shit, but also be able to say true shit than not be able to say anything. Yeah, but I worry about the I worry about the I say it just comes down to kids for me because they get radicalized. I mean, when you see the racist shit and you join the tribe, it just like becomes they can. They can. And as much as it's radicalized, they can also become Christians.

2:14:17They can also become like hikers. They could also like really get into a jujitsu. They could also like I just joined video games to join ISIS. Yeah, I They could also do whatever the fuck they want to do. I mean this is just we got to do it out in the battlefield of ideas And that's that has to be able to take place You can't have people decide what you can and can't discuss Because the problem with that is like then they have power over you and they have power over the most important thing that we do as a Culture which is figure out what's right and what's wrong figure out who's correct and who's who's incorrect?

2:14:51What's what's a fact and what is a lie? What is propaganda? Why have they made so much money pushing this thing when there's no science behind it? And if you say then they say trust the science. Well, it will show me what the science is. And then you have people that are looking at the science that are actual scientists that get boy -cotted and banned from Twitter. That's one of the things that happened during this whole FBI infiltration of Twitter or whatever the organization was that the government had that was deeply - It was multiple organizations deeply embedded. They were kicking people off.

2:15:21They were like Stanford scientists. that were they had a different view of how the pandemic should be handled. They're kicking them off Twitter. And then you get to the point where you need regulators on the regulators and who's going to regulate the regulators. So you think Wild West teach your kids correctly? Yes, I think that's better. I think this is the world we're living in and it's a weird world. But this is the reality of the world and you need to prepare them for the reality of the world. Don't shield them from it. Right, I guess it's just technology being such a drug is an issue to me.

2:15:53It is a drug, but... It feels like the government making money off of selling fentanyl. That's what it feels like. It's also fun for kids too. They're doing snap chats and they're fucking... They're having a good time too. It's not all negative. It can be negative. And the pylons, like when people, like that lady, what she did to her daughter, which is the most evil fucking thing ever. But there's groups of kids that will go after a kid and pile on them and attack them anonymously and You know kids kill themselves over things like that. You have freaks them out. Yes. Yes They're pretty remarkably healthy.

2:16:30It's very strange They have social media about there crazy about yeah one of them just got off of everything She's once concentrated her schoolwork. She hasn't been on any social media in over 90 days It's very impressive, but that's an addiction to be like 90 days clean Yeah, but it's also she can do it You know, it's like, it's not an addiction like, oh my God, you know, if you ever get on social media again Now you're gonna be homeless and snort and social media. No, it's like it's a thing that's not necessarily good for you Just like cake. Don't eat cake all day. Yeah, but if you want to have a birthday cake Or you want to occasionally have a piece of cake.

2:17:05You have dinner nice dinner. Let's get some dessert. Fuck it Yeah, but what about the cake? What if every time I went to go eat cake There was nine the other dudes in the cake shop that were being like we should kill this group of people and you'd be like like, fuck, I really wanna eat cake, but these people keep saying that, and maybe I believe them, because I've read so much. At some point, somebody should walk into the cake shop and be like, dude, you guys can't be here. Well, there are laws, right? So like, there's free speech, but if you threaten someone, there's laws against that. And that's - If he's trying to group.

2:17:33Yes. Yeah, if you say I want to kill all the Greeks in America, like, some of them will come get you. Nobody wants them to, we love them. It's a lot of great stuff. But if you just said something like that, yeah, someone would visit you from the FBI if you make threats against people. But we have existing laws that already protect people from that. Okay. I just think most people should say the fuck off of it because most of the people that are doing it are wasting their life. And you're... It's crazy how I just last night was sucked into this vortex and then I just put my phone away and my dog was sitting right there.

2:18:10And I was like, oh, hey, real life thing that loves me. I had no idea that this was going on with you. I had no idea. I know it's ridiculous. It sucks so bad because I was trying to be so, I was actively trying to say a woke thing that I went through, patting myself on my fucking back and it just fucking spun out of control. You can never be woke enough because it's all horseshit. It's all horseshit. It's just a cult. It's a cult that is mostly perpetrated by people that don't have a religion. So it behaves like a religion. You can get excommunicated, you can get cast out of the kingdom for life.

2:18:50There's rules. If you follow those rules, you'll be good. If you're not, you're a heretic. It's a religion. And it's a religion for people that don't have a religion. Because there's a fucking weird part of our brain that whether you are a Democrat or a Republican, it fits that spot. Right. So there's a, if you don't have something in your life that you think of as a higher power or at least have like some sort of ethical and moral foundation and some goals, some higher goal that you ascribe to, something will fill that spot. There's a spot in your brain and that spot will be, I'm a Republican or that spot will be, I'm a liberal and we got these goddamn racist and all these white people.

2:19:35We got to get rid of white people. White people say that. We got it with the real promise white people. They'll say that and they'll say the pat themselves on the back while they're saying it because they think they're being a good wokester. Yeah. It's just nuts. It's just religion. It's crazy. I'm a real DM to me and I DM them back being like, hey, I just want you to know, like I'm so, I like totally didn't mean to hurt anybody and I'm really sorry if you were offended by this and they would just immediately be like, oh, it's totally okay. I take back everything. I said, what they said was like, you fucking bitch.

2:20:00And I just was like, hey, I'm a person. And they're like, oh, shit, I've completely forgotten. And I was like, oh, okay, yeah. Everybody would be. It's a terrible way to communicate. It's bizarre. Yeah. I mean, I fucking do it. I talk so much shit about everything and then I get there and I'm like, oh, yeah, this is, I think it just feels good to believe something. It feels so good to stand your ground on something and to be like, right, I did something today that meant something, even though it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't. We need meaning so fucking bad. We do. And that's why it takes the place of religion for people who don't have religion.

2:20:34It's big part. It doesn't have to be religion. You can have it be in the, you can have it be the, the, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, No, it doesn't have to be religion. No, but it mean there's a spot in our brains. Yeah. The religion has always been there. And we, we filled that spot with whatever the fuck it is leftist politics, right wing ideology, whatever the fuck it is. Yeah. You find a thing that becomes your religion. Totally. People are fucking broken. We're so weird. It is. But we're also wonderful or fun. when we, you know, when we work right. When it's - Yeah, when we're face to face.

2:21:09Yeah, I mean, on the mind - Sometimes it's not, you know? Crazy, but then you run into the person who talked shit about you and you're like, oh, hey, what's up? Yeah, you were just playing the video game of hatred. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what most people are doing on Instagram and on Twitter. Because it's just such an easy thing to do. And especially if you're a life sucks, it's a great distraction. You can pay attention to other people and tell fucking Jordan it, fucking content, just say horrible shit And it distracts you from whatever is wrong with your life But the video game of like health and body perfection like getting your getting jacked is Get is like the religion that many comics are in me too and it is it does take that role a lot Like a lot of times when people are just hatred.

2:21:54I'm like just target lower belly fat If you want to be fucking activated about something get fucking pissed at that You know what I mean? Because it's always I look at the picture of these people and they're just like miserable fuckers and a basement. And I'm like, dude, just, yeah. What if you just spent all day taking a really long bath and just cleaning that shit off of you? You know what I mean? Instead of hating me. Well, think about what we're talking about with OCD. Those tight grooves of behavior that just get just, just it's so easy to slide into those grooves. They're so honed that they've been used so many times.

2:22:26I was just an instantaneous decision to go down those pathways. It's hard for people. It's hard for people to snap out of them, especially people that are fragile and that are worried about getting attacked themselves. Those are the most vicious. The most fragile people are the most vicious. They're the most mean. The ones that are worried about being criticized themselves. Yeah, totally. Hurt people, hurt people. True that. What's up? I've done it. I've hurt people. We all have. Yeah, it's normal. It's normal part of being a person. It's just the social media thing. There's very little value and a lot of negativity.

2:23:03Or you can use it correctly if you're a journalist or if you're someone who's curated a good feed and you just want to find out what's actually happening. Because the world's filled with crazy shit that happens all the time that you don't know about unless you get on Twitter. If you just pay attention to the mainstream news, you'd miss 80 % of what's going on in the world. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I mean, there's so much. I talk so much shit about social media, but the amount of animal videos that have brought me back from the, I mean, I found out that otters have a little skin pocket, and it's like saved my life multiple times just knowing that.

2:23:35Like, that shit is so good. Yeah. Any fast intake of national geographic online is like. Oh, yeah. Yeah, totally. Most of my time I spend if I'm fucking off on my phone is on YouTube. And I don't have a problem with that because most of that, it's like videos I'm getting educated. Yeah, I would not have been able to be a contractor I'm really interested in. Yeah, I should have called my business here. So much you can learn. If you just do it right, like YouTube is the most amazing resource if you just do it right. And there's just some fucking guy who's like, I'm gonna teach you exactly how to utilize this impact driver.

2:24:08And you're like, yeah, I don't know why you're doing this, but thank you. Yeah, why are you doing that? It's really weird. Some of those people, they're like, I'm gonna tell you how to change a Toyota tire on a Nissan truck. And I'm like, that's exactly what I need. It's crazy. Right, right, right. Yeah, those guys rule. Oh, there's so much good how -to stuff That's available online, but or you can get on Twitter and just start yelling about the Jews Figure out figure out a thing whatever it is. Yeah, what are the fucking climate? Do you understand what's happening? We won't have an earth for our children You know people go crazy.

2:24:43Are you worried about your kids future? Of course, yeah, of course. I'm worried about everybody's future. I'm worried about their future I don't want anything bad to happen to them. I'm just like, I don't want anything bad to happen to anybody. That's why I can't. I don't think I can have kids. But when people say that, I would go and want to have kids today. I'm like, yeah, why would you with all the books and medicine and shit? People had kids before they figured out doors. When they say I don't want to bring a kid into this world, sometimes I don't want a kid just because the idea of letting my dog outside without me scares me.

2:25:14But like, and I'm neurotic. But when they say that, I'm like, you're talking about the absence of consciousness, being superior to consciousness. That's a paradox. You can't say one is better than the other. There is no better until you're born. Not only that, there's a lot of people in my life that I love. A lot of good friends. I have a lot of people that I love. The only way you make people is they have to be babies. They grow up to be people that you love. That's the game. That's life. If you love people, you probably love kids. You just don't know it. and you probably are, you know, terrified of responsibility, which is real.

2:25:52Yeah. But you can have kids. It's not bad. Do you think everybody should do it? No. I think, I think you'd have a rich and full life and never have children. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And I always resented that when I didn't have children. People say, oh, you don't even know. You don't have kids. Yeah, yeah. Like, okay. Don't say that. That's silly. Did it change anything? Did it change anything? Yeah, it changes anything. Did it unlock like a Molly level of love? Yes. Chappelle had the best quote about this. He said, not only did it change the amount of love that I have it changed my capacity for love Okay, yeah, you don't know like how much you love your dog and I know you love your dog I've seen you with your dog.

2:26:29Yeah, you love your kids times a million But that's frightening that level of how do you let them go to school? Life is crazy. Life is frightening. You just have to learn and grow and just deal This is just part of the thing you can't just be safe forever. You're not gonna live You're gonna die. We're all going to you stuff to exist and to you know You have to like when you don't see your friend like bye and you know they get on a plane like oh my god What the plane crashes? What have I never seen them again? You can't live like that. Yeah, but a child I know I know I know I know I know you had to teach yourself to chill Really and then you still you only chill so much, you know you love them so much.

2:27:11It's hard but I think there's a reason why societies like people to have children because it makes you much more concerned with law and order. It makes you much more concerned with, you know, cleanliness and pollution and all the harm that could happen to your child. Yeah. Yeah. You worry more because if it's just your selfish and you're by yourself, fuck everybody, I'm gonna go get a whore. You know, like, okay. Yeah. You're not really a part of this thing. You're just kind of like, you're a leech. You know, like this thing is all of us together. It would frustrate me if I had kids that people without kids have equal right to vote.

2:27:48That would annoy me. Why? Because they could vote for negative things about your kids. It just would piss me off. You're not keeping a life around. You know what I mean? You're just a selfish shitter and eater. You know? Well, there's a lot of those selfish shitters and eaters too that think that somehow, because this is one of the things that people are being taught today, that somehow or another, because there's so much money in the world, like you're owed something, and they should just, we should have universal basic income, and your needs should be met. There's a bunch of people that think that way.

2:28:16Don't think that you should provide a value. That your needs should be met because there's so much wealth in the world, and that everything else, whatever the wealthy people are on top of that, that should only exist once their needs are met, because there's a fake scarcity crisis in this country. And it's really because the wealthy people have gotten so much. But that's the Bernie bro. Yeah, well there's some truth to that though, right? There is some truth. Like if someone acquires all the money and everybody else is poor, obviously you have a broken system. Yeah. Bernie's idea was to take a small amount of stock market exchanges, just like a fraction of a penny for each one of these and that money would all be an incredible resource that would go to education and healthcare and all these different quality of life things that would have a legitimate impact on society.

2:29:09That's what I was interested in. That was my most compelling thought that he had, the most compelling thought to me. I was like, that seems like that would work. That seemed like that would have a big impact and it would change a lot of things. I've always been down for the tax, the corporations. I've always been down for it and not view them as having human rights. Well, the weird thing is that they have the ability to donate insane amounts of money towards congressional campaigns and Santa Races. That's fucked. That's fucked. So you're going to take that, stop that. No, no, what is that called?

2:29:44What is that called? Electural funding. Sure. Elections funding. There's a name for it. But stop that. Campaign funding. Okay. Stop that. And. It's not even just that. It's like it's funding super PACs. It's funding NGOs. It's there's a lot of shit that goes on. It's just really about influence. But if you get a corporation that's making that much money, tax the shit out of it for schools. Well, not a bad idea of it, but you got to be able to make money. The real problem with corporations is they have to always make more money. Like if you have a responsibility for your shareholder, if you're CEO, So every quarter you have to make more money.

2:30:22The idea is like you're doing really well, you're making more money. And the only way to really keep making, they never go, we're good. Hey everybody, we're good. Why not? Because they're cunts. Oh okay, okay. Because like you get to this, that's the game they're playing. They're playing the, I want more money game. They're not playing the, let's make the world a better place game. Because it's a corporation. So it's a sociopath. It acts like a sociopath. They're seeing like, when they've done these studies where they're like, Well, look at the behavior of a corporation. It's basically a psychopath.

2:30:51That's why I think they should fund the shit. It's crazy how much the middle class is taxed. What they really fucked up was with the stock market in general in the first place. Stock market is so weird to me. I will not put any money in it. I buy gold and I buy a house. I buy a car, I buy a watch, but I won't do the stock market. But it's crazy that everybody gets to be involved in like, I'm so weird to me. It's weird. But I'm not allowed to say this because people go, oh no, Jordan, you got to put it into a fund that is an index that I'm like, I don't have to gamble. I grew up white trash gambling is a bad thing.

2:31:22Yeah, but in my family, you're not allowed to do that. The thing is it is a real thing and it does work. Look at Nancy Pelosi, she's got half a billion dollars. Right, she did it in a shady way. Is that good that she has that? No. It's not good. No, my friends who are like, It's not gonna make her live longer. She's 82 fucking years old, she looks terrible. Right. It's the end is nice, stop working. And my friends are like, I made 50 grand off Bitcoin and I'm like, you just put it back in the Bitcoin. You're gonna keep it in Bitcoin because now you're stuck in an addiction until it's gone until it hangs You know, I mean nobody that I know is like I'm pulling out maybe a couple some people have and they've made a lot of money That's great.

2:31:57Yeah, I've one friend who did that very proud of him, but typically it keeps you in it It's like the same people that stay off social media. They're rare They're rare, but they utilize the system. Yeah, when I was microdosing I could do that I could post and be like why stop microdosing Because I was in and out of a relationship that when I would microdose, my brain would be like, bro, what are you doing? You gotta get out of this thing and I'd be like, okay, just want microdose. But now I'm back to it. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I get that. When it shows you a truth that you cannot handle, you know, like yikes, but I don't wanna be alone.

2:32:31I would take the mushrooms and they'd be like, you bet, come on, this is the guys like mean to you. You're a cool chick and I'd be like, shut up, I'm not cool. The mean to you is gross. I'm so it's the best though. It's my I like that. Yeah, I hate back and forth. I like fighting. Yeah fighting in the makeup sex. I just like somebody who's very honest and is like That's a stupid thing that you did. That's a good thing that you did. It's very dirty. It's very tacked Yeah, totally. Yeah, you got to be able to do it with someone when you calm them down and say it rationally Yeah, and you got to say you love them first and you got to say nice things first.

2:33:04Yeah, that was the problem There's enough that, yeah, totally. But the mushrooms would be like, it would become immediately be loosened and be like, you can love a person and not be miserable. Those two things can happen at once. You can love somebody and not be in a relationship with them because it doesn't work. So I was like, okay, we're not gonna microdose. Yeah, I'm on the fence about microdosing, but I think for some people, it seems to be a giant quality of life enhancer. It just tells you when to stop. You can't do it that long. You can do it for like two weeks. Microdosing? Yeah, and then it doesn't do shit.

2:33:33and then you have to stop. Well, that's probably good too. It's probably like most things. You know, you shouldn't drink every day. If you want to go on a vacation for two weeks, you're gonna get hammered. Yeah. It's good. But the most important thing, I mean, they'll just be like, dude, why do you? It never gets addicting. Uh -huh. But I did it a lot during the pandemic and out. I know some people that got addicted to the idea of like spiritual awakening. Oh, the ayahuasca people. Oh yeah, some of those people get cooked. They get cooked. They get over cooked and they start reading poetry on Instagram.

2:34:06You're like, oh my god. When I get the text message, I just like, hey, I love you so much. I'm like, damn, we did another eye -wask journey. No, that's cool though. Someone just saying they love you is nice. That's nice part of it. I already said, man, I love you message the other day. I was like, what were you on? I'm Molly. That's dude. He's here. He's here. He's like in South America. He's off the fucking reservation. He is so inspiring to me with comedy. where he'll be like, I'm taking, I'm not doing it right now. Well, he's very smart. He's so smart. Yeah, he's very smart. He did the whole, I mean, Eric Abrams, my whole team did it, but Ari, like every step of the way, would be calling me every day.

2:34:45And be like, what are you doing? Do this. And I'd be like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'd be like, tell everyone to pause. Do that. I mean, it was crazy. Ari's very strong in his beliefs. Some of his opinions are terrible though. Ari famously told me to never put out a three hour podcast. You got to do it. in the beginning, he was, why is your punk us three hours? And I said, she said, that's how I felt like talking for three hours. You should edit it. No one's gonna listen for three hours. Three hours when you were just starting it out? Oh yeah, I always did it three hours. I'm like, they don't have to.

2:35:14How long have we done this? Don't listen, almost three hours. Jesus. No. Oh yeah. Yeah. How do you do that? How do you do that? It is a time warp. Yeah. Because we're locked in. So if you're really locked in, if you're having a really locked in with someone, you're really having a, it seems like three hours. What if you don't get locked in? It happens sometimes really yeah some some some podcast Women no man to sure non comics. Oh, yeah, non comics even some comics like god I have nothing in common with this guy, you know brutal. That's like I'm in therapy And I'm talking about it yet another breakup of my therapist's does it's the worst feeling ever And I'm like we need to lock in right now.

2:35:50Yeah lock it in but you've had not lock in days Have you ever had to be your fault? Oh, I guess probably yeah, what do you do? I mean I try I mean at this point I'm pretty good at it. So I know like how to Finegal a conversation, you know generally I look for a blunt like okay I have to change my brain. I'm gonna fucking fire this up and make fun of this. Oh, you're probably your weird guy I love you love weed. Oh, I love it. Okay. I just started using weed for sleep and well, it's weird for sleep Okay, but it's the only thing that's ever worked ever. Oh really do you setables? Flower the other day, addibles the other day Yeah, but I think it prevents you from going into REM sleep or it hinders your REM sleep.

2:36:31Yeah, but it lets you watch It lets you watch Yourself enter sleep which rules like being like and goodbye Because every morning you wake up and you go I don't remember falling asleep But I'm need you're like this is it here it is No, I know a lot of people that use it for sleep I know a lot of people that always hated weed and used to like when I would smile They were like, why, what, we'd make sure ladies are like, it doesn't, I'm telling you it doesn't, you're lazy. Weed is not making lazy. That to me, I always thought we'd make sure you're lazy, but I'm using it for sleep. Yeah, I thought it too until it was 30.

2:37:07I met my friend Eddie. My friend Eddie Bravo was the one who got me high for the first time when I was like 30 years old. I hadn't gotten high since I think I got high, like maybe a small handful of times when I was a comedian, when I first started doing comedy rather. And then before I was a comedian, like maybe my whole life, maybe seven, eight times ever, being high ever, until I was 30. No, I just didn't like not being in control. Yeah. I always associated people who did drugs with people who never got anything done and they were a bunch of fucking losers. And I never wanted to be that. If you smoked a blunt right now, you would have no fear that it could turn a bad way.

2:37:50No. No. Well, you don't have any of the like my heart's gonna stop. I can hear my blood in my ears. Oh, no. You don't have any of them. No, no, no, no, no. Have you ever? Sure. I've gotten paranoid before. Yeah. When I just... We just write it out. Why had to figure out why? And generally it's like there's something bothering me in life. There's something. So the real thing about it is it could expose to something that's bothering you. Well, you should probably fix that. Yeah, but what if the thing that's bothering you is that you can't deal with the fact that you have skin? You know, I can like that's what happens to me when I spoke weed is I'm like this shit is got a goal Crazy, yeah, oh a different mine than me.

2:38:27I guess my sheet thing I wouldn't recommend it for everybody I know people can't smoke they don't like being paranoid. I like it. I like be Yes, I mean fuckers love that shit. I like being a little scared because of an after the panic you're you're like Good now a good, but also it's good to know like maybe you have blinders on and there's some real vulnerabilities in the world and you should probably consider them sometimes. You've never had a crazy one that you were like, that's not right, that's crazy. No, not that bad. I've just been real paranoid before. Just super high like yikes. And then you come down and you're like, whoo, once it's over you're fine.

2:39:05It's crazy for you to be paranoid because you're like one of the people that should be paranoid. You have like a lizard man coming after you or whatever. What is it? What's his name, lizard guy? Lever King. Lever King. What happened? Yeah, if anybody should be paranoid, I should probably be a little paranoid. But anybody in the public eye should be a little paranoid. Anybody, you included? Yeah, I should be a little paranoid. Got a little paranoid. Did you get some stuff? Yeah. For sure. For sure. But like, whoa. Right. You've got to come down. Well, I think marijuana is a tool. Like everything else.

2:39:37I think you can learn things from it. And I think it's like steroids for comedy. You can come up with some stuff when you're high. I don't think it's available. I don't think those thoughts are available if you're sober. There's things that I wrote when I was high, there's no way I was writing that without any help. Yeah, I guess I've had it a little bit, but I have to hit the sweet spot or I go right into padded. Oh yeah, the sweet spot. That's the key. You know what helps me if I always have a Xanax somewhere. Oh no. Like it just exists in my house. So you know? So I just know that there's a bullet that I can pull.

2:40:11That's a crazy one. That's a scary addictive one. Xanix is so addictive. Yeah, Jordan Peterson speaking of which, he was on that shit. I thought he was Conda Bar, Conda Pin. Pfft. I thought he was on him time, Dex. Well, he was definitely on Benzl Diasping for a long time. That shit. With that's Xanix. And so that's one of the ones where you get off of Xanix, where you could die. There's only a couple of drugs where if you get off of it, You could die alcohols and other calls on you. Yeah, but Xanax is another one and it's really hard for people Dude I bought clonipid in Mexico and I was like I'm just gonna use this when I have a panic attack Dawn Dawn in two weeks every night.

2:40:54I was being like well I take a little bit. I feel a little and I was like oh you need to never allow this around you I got to say next the other day and my friend was like you can have as many as you want I was like I need one and never give me another again Because this is the thing that'll keep it just in case just like break glass in case Break glass is a break glass pill. Yeah, totally yeah, I'll tell you fuck our benzos are fucking dude. I've heard No, I was on a flight once with a lady and she she said there is nothing in this where all that's better than a Xanax and a glass of wine Yeah, and I was like I don't think you're supposed to drink with Xanax.

2:41:29She's like nope

2:41:34Poppers oh no email nitrate poppers dude I had no idea because I don't do anything and I was dancing at a wedding and my gay friend was like sniff these Oh gay guys love that the best just a mini rave for a second how much did you do a lot But I mean times you do it I'm not where I felt fucked up like five I know it gives you like instant brain damage. Yeah, that's what it felt like that's what I think it does I thought it'd be bad. Because I went from being such a downer to being like, marriages, do you wait? I mean like, yeah, it was crazy. I was dragging people in. Yeah, but that's like the brain damage from the boxing where you're like, dude, sometimes I need to be a little stupid for a second.

2:42:23Our ultimate is constantly being like, society is evil. I wonder what's worse for you, amel nitrate or boxing? I don't know. What's the side effects of amel nitrate? Because I know a lot of the gay fellas like it when they bottom. What it's actually made for is to really pain of in and Gina attacks. Oh And Gina what is in China? What the fuck? Digestive in your anus and your vagina

2:42:51And Gina what is the side effects of amel nitrate abuse and Giant attacks just pain discomfort caused by reduced blood flow to the heart. Oh, okay And so amel nitrate reduces that that's the reduces the pain of it. Oh because it relaxes the blood vessels and increases the blood and oxygen to the heart. Also relaxes that booty. Yeah, it makes the whole open. Woo! I was worried I was gonna shit my pants, I did it, but it's not. Yeah, but I did. I think other things have to happen for you to shoot your pants. Yeah, a gay man, a surgery, and I'm sex with me. Someone has to pound you in the asshole.

2:43:24Side effects, headaches, dizziness, flushing, rapid heart rate. More severe risk, life -threatening blood condition called methamoglobin, methamat, say that, help me out. Methamoglobin, yeah. Methamoglobin, yeah. Endangerous drops in blood pressure, especially when combined with other drugs. Methamoglobin. Does it cause brain damage? Google does, does, uh, email nitrate brain damage. Dude, you better say that it does or else I'm doing that right now. Damage didn't come right up. Oh, fuck. Let's see. It can cause both acute and long -term brain damage. Why wouldn't it come up immediately? Primarily through long -term acute and long -term brain damage.

2:44:15Primarily through two mechanisms, oxygen deprivation and direct neurotoxicity. Severe or prolonged exposure can lead to permanent cognitive and neurological issues. Yeah. I mean, you feel that immediately when you benefit. You're like, you eat this camp. Yeah, this is, it feels like somebody's hitting it by the bed and you're like, dude, it's so crazy. It's like wippits. Oh, but way more, right? I feel like, yeah, last way longer. I did wippits, the new part cream any place that I worked at, because we had like real wippits. Like with like a giant whipped cream castor, like a huge one. That's sick.

2:44:48Like the real things where you make the whipped cream, we would have to pour the sugar and pour the cream and then mix it, yeah. If I do that with the whipped cream bottle, aren't you not allowed to use any of the whipped cream? That's always been my problem. Oh, we have the gas. We have the actual gas back there We had one of the kids that we worked with was a total dirt bag And he knew how to get high off the gas. We would all go back there and get high with this guy That's so fun That's I only did it like once or twice because you hit it and you like Like almost like an head body like whoa Yeah, whoa, it's awesome.

2:45:21Yeah, it only lasts like 15 20 seconds So it was like, oh my god, you're dumb enough as it is. Don't get dumb right now. Right, it's always the idiots in the back of the place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just used to get so high. I used to smoke a blunt every morning before school and I just would get, oh, it's so crazy stupid. And then when I got older, my brain was just like, you can't have any more of this. If you do, you're gonna bite your tongue out. It's definitely probably not good for kids. Oh, yeah, we were so high. Getting high on the time of your kids. It's like, god, like you're developing.

2:45:51your brain's developing while it's constantly being bombarded by THC. That's not good. My dad was just such a weed. Yeah, he was like a... You can smoke weed with me whenever you want. Uh, that's funny. Have you smoked weed with your kids there? No. Oh, yeah. I don't know. But I told them... We've had conversations about drugs and I said the most important thing is stay away from any and all pills for a bunch of reasons. Not just because what the pill supposedly is is bad for you, but because I bet what's in that pill is not what's supposed to be in there because of fentanyl and they know that.

2:46:23And powder, coke is fucked. Oh yeah, coke is fucked. I think coke is the worst. Well, it's all fentanyl now. It's all, there's so much fentanyl in, there's fake Xanaxes and they're all fentanyl. There's Molly, fake Molly, it's all fentanyl. And the fentanyl, if it's small enough, it's fine. Well, it's so much, it's so small, the amount that can kill you. Have you ever seen the amount of fentanyl that is lethal? That that cop that showed no like if you ever seen like you compare us into a penny There's a photograph on the internet of the amount of fentanyl and comparison to a penny that's lethal that will 100 % put you in the fucking ground it's so small It's the best feeling ever though when you go into surgery and they give it to you Yeah, which gets her to you under they give you a I used to be so I was so fat that I had all the skin And I got it cut off How painful is that afterwards broodle?

2:47:17They should kind of shuttled me out pretty fast. They were like all right. Go open up. I can't go home. It was crazy Yeah, go home and drain Yeah, yeah, it had to go though. It was in the way must be happy now, right? That you did it. Yeah totally it was stuck in my it was getting my zipper. Oh, yeah I was having a talking yeah like a day. It was awful. Oh, gee. I've only come a dick in my zipper like two or three times my life Not fun

2:47:47Why is your dick up that high? Oh, I see baggy pants, but you just not paying attention like going raw dog It's weird that you guys have a whole external package down there These just have balls on the outside the balls the outside is the dumbest fucking invention I'm sorry about that the itchiness and the wellness not the problem the problem is getting kicked there Oh, yeah, that's the problem. Yeah, but that we that evolution had to give you that you had that something I guess Yeah, I guess we have so many problems. It's just to keep up from overheating because you need sperm. Where they hang.

2:48:18Yeah, well, they have to be able to cool in the breeze because if they're getting overheated, it's not good for you. It's not good for the swimmers. It's crazy that you just have a unit dangling off your body that's keeping it's crazy. And it's the most vulnerable part of your body other than your eyeballs. Yeah. And it's just hanging out there. It helps though. Men are very intimidating. It helps that you guys have that. Honestly. They have a spot to hit. Totally. It helps. I don't think we would mate with you easily without the balls. Interesting. Sometimes when the penis goes in and the balls touch you you go, oh yeah, he's just a person.

2:48:49This is safe You know what I mean because you have two squishy guys that are like don't worry about this fucker He's he's just hard, you know, but it helps us remember that you're Fowlable the balls do totally if you guys were just rods running around we'd be like go I Well imagine if you didn't have to get hard to have sex like you didn't have to be aroused That would be crazy like animals animals just have a bone. Oh Yeah, how do they? They don't have to get hard. Uh -huh dogs get the red rocket. You believe a bone though Ew, there's a bone in there. Yeah, yeah, you could break your dog's dick.

2:49:24What is that bone called again? We have one out there a giant Fossilized walrus bone Vaculum that's right. It's a bone. Yeah, I think all animals have it except human beings monkeys can't have it The monkeys have a back. You know I don't know. Probably not. They're always jacking off. They're always jacking off. Oh, what? And everything's new. Oh, what? You go to you to cover the children's eyes. Chimps, gorillas, monkeys. Oh, I don't know. It's like, it's designed to be jacked off. It's right there where your hand drops. That's some species. Yeah, only some species. But they're like a little fuzzy ones.

2:49:59It's not the ones that look like us. Do you have it, right? Uh. I'm pretty sure deer do. Matter of fact, I know they do. and so do like moose and elk and what mammals don't. Primates, oh, it's present in some species within the orders of primates, rodents and carnivora. I don't know what that is. Bears, dogs and walruses all have a bone because like you don't have time to get hard, okay? You're out there in the wild, shit's crazy. What did you do? Just bram it in there, boom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just think it would be a really fun if that's where the turn if you lack a backbone The back Roll back bone.

2:50:41I don't think that's where I come from. I don't think so Our primary answers did have one suggesting it was lost through evolution. That's kind of weird Probably lost when the aliens came down and manipulated us When could when was that lost when women don't really? Wow, but cats have like a hook dick where they get stuck a barb Yeah, we've ever heard cats with their stuck together. Oh, yeah. And they're fucking asked to ask and they can't get loose. They're fucking kicking each other. Not President Humans. President of the peanuts of some primates. Gorillas and chimpanzees have backelums. Wow.

2:51:14What? Chimpanzees have them? Yep. Wow. Rodins back. When did we lose them? When evolutionary stepped, did we take the aliens came? I think it's probably when women started being like, that guy, I want that guy's jeans and not that guy's. Hmm, right? Because if I should get in loads blown in me by betas, it doesn't serve our population. Right. I have to be like that alpha male sick. Right. So I'm gonna rub my monkey butt. I know, like stick. Whereas other species it's like, it's a free for all. Yeah, while other species also, I bet we probably got rid of it, as soon as we figured out habitation.

2:51:49So as soon as we figured out homes and doors and we could structure, you know, like keep people out. Yeah, yeah, it would be like that monkey. just win it away. Yeah, her theory is an aligned with I think Richard Dawkins theory sort of. Ah look at this. Proposed honest advertising is the evolutionary explanation for the loss of the baculum. Hypothesis states that if erection failure is a sensitive early warning of ill health, aha physical or mental females could have gauged the health of a potential mate based on his ability to achieve erection without the support of a baculum. Everybody I date has penis problems.

2:52:23Every comic needs a blue so I shouldn't be letting any of their backulums in my backulums. Oh no. Dude, are you only dating comics? I'm not anymore, I'm done. But that's what I've done forever. And musicians, which is the same thing. Basically. Yeah. But constant blue chew. It's crazy to be at a group of comics. But it's a crazy new thing, right? Like what did they do in the 60s? I think they said, hey, I have a problem or sometimes I get, don't get hard and here's the things I could use for me to help. And now they just go, no, I'm hard, which is psychos. There's things that I could use for me to help that won't work on everybody, but this is like the selection thing.

2:53:00It would keep those guys from breeding. Oh, that's right. That's what it is. People of ill health, like there's probably a reason why your dick can get hard. Blue -Too Dick is so weird. It feels like a strap on. And it's attached to somebody who's anxious, and then it's just this rock hard dick. It doesn't make sense. Cause you're like, this guy's afraid to be here and that dick is not. That's somebody else is fucking. He's afraid to be here. You get guys that are afraid. Oh yeah, totally. We're like, oh, it's not even, yeah, there's something about the stand up and the, I think people just think that I'm gonna be mean to them.

2:53:37Oh, that's it, because you're funny. Yeah, totally. And if you're funny than the guy's you're fucking, that's a pro problem. Yeah. Yeah. Which I don't think I've ever had sex with somebody above me in comedy. That's a problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think they're scared of me and they also are scared of yeah I think it's mainly they're scared of looking foolish and having you like right and then you're you're in her act Yeah, totally do the amount of dating app people that are like I don't want to be in your act I'm like fuck you we've never even met you So crazy how many people say that yeah the dating app thing is wild yeah when I see people just like constantly and really scrolling and picking people and choosing people.

2:54:20My single friends are on dating apps. That's an addiction unto itself because there's always someone waiting. Yeah, it's always some new, this is, no, I don't like the way she smiles. Fuck this, I'm outta here. And then next thing you know, you've got three or four more dates lined up and... Well, it's ruined dating because everybody has a queue of people they can date. So they go on a date. I know so many people who are like, I walked out after five minutes and I'm like, oh yeah. You don't know that person and also it probably benefit you to have an hour long conversation with somebody, like as opposed to being like, sorry, we're not compatible.

2:54:50Right, but I think women are worried about guys getting fixated on them and then not leaving them alone. And they're texting them and fucking with them and then being mean when they get rejected. That's the best. The DMs I have that are like, just please be lovely so much and then, or, and I'm like, wow, I never have responded once. It's crazy. They do get fixated for sure. But then you, yeah, but then you have to, then it teaches you to set boundaries, which is good to be like, hey man, I'm not going to text with you anymore, you got to chill. All that's going to go away when you put on the headset.

2:55:21I know. When it goes, we all lock in. And we'll go, and we'll just be able to tell them to fuck off. Well, you're going to read their minds too. You're going to know, oh my god, this guy's a total sociopath. He doesn't give a fuck about anybody but himself. Everything he's saying is a lie. That's so fucked up. For people with OCD who are like, what if I kill that cat? And they just get... No, no, no, no. You'll probably be able to see why they think that way. Like, oh no, no, you're okay. Like you're just freaking out. And maybe you won't think that way when you're embraced by this hive mind, maybe you'll abandon all of them.

2:55:52Maybe that'll be like one of the great side effects of it. It would be good for people, like my best friend was paralyzed from the C2 down, and it would be good to read her mind and be like, what is actually the pain coming from? Because she was like, I don't know if there's pain. Right. You know? Well, we had the guy on who had the very first neural ink, and he's paralyzed. He paralyzed like a diving accident and He uses his head now to control his computer like he can play video games with just the chip So he can't move his arms and he's playing video games and he says it's like I have an aim bot Because I can point to what I want to shoot and like immediately shoot at it.

2:56:32I have movement is brain His brain moves the cursor around That's awesome how I don't like he just moves it around I can feel like it. Somehow or another, the way the computer interfaces with the neurochip, so the brain interfaces with the chip, which interfaces with the computer and somehow or another, you can control movement. And they're getting better and better at it. That's crazy. Which is a problem for the people that got the first one. Okay, you're gonna be able to pull that out and give me a new one. Yeah. And I asked him about that. I was like, if this is like it, and he's like, I think this is the only one that I can get, I mean, maybe as technology advances, They'll be able to take this one out and put a new one in, but at one point in time, like the wires were coming out and it wasn't working anymore.

2:57:18So they had to like re -inject them back in. Show them back in there. That's great. I mean, we started doing that with back pain, right? Where people stick it into fix the nerves in your back. Do they? Yeah, my uncle had that. Well, that's the ultimate goal of neural ink is to restore movement. It's going to be able to replace your entire spinal system. You'll be able to this thing will tell your muscles and your brain to fire. So if you're breaking your spinal cord, it'll be able to bridge that and you'll be able to use your body like you normally would. This is like the old way. That's gonna piss me off of this comes out after it because my paralyzed friends passed away.

2:57:54I hate that when this stuff comes out. I'm like, God, you motherfucker. So he's gonna happen that way. She was getting into stuff though. She was getting into ear, ear, ear touch. If it touched her ears, she'd get pumped. Yeah, that was a thing. She was getting into all that shit. She had like a servant that would make art for her. That was awesome. So she kind of had it. She got her own little neural link of girls that she paid. We're probably about five years away from an unrecognizable world. You think five years? Yeah. What about structures? I mean, it'll be recognizable in terms of buildings, but I think like the way the world interfaces, the way we interface with the world is gonna be very different.

2:58:34You think it's like walking into a space and it would be like, welcome Jordan Jensen, we have. Yeah. Yeah, probably we're more than that because there probably won't be people working there. Bro, the Waymo is sick. You like it? I thought I was so against it, I got in it, not having to talk to some fucker, being able to fart at will. Right. Just, but here's what I'm wondering, why don't people go take me to an hour place away and just fucking it? It's gotta be cheaper than a hotel. I bet people do. Gross. That's one of the free way you have to. People are definitely doing all that stuff. They're probably fucking, it's gotta be cameras filming people fucking.

2:59:10I think they do. Yeah, they're like, let's go. Put on a fucking nixon mask and fuck. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. But I really like them. Well, it's certainly probably safer. You know, they don't really get in that many accidents. If they do, it's usually somebody else's fault, not the way most fault. I'm sick of looking at playing pilots and being like, that's, he's gonna be bad. This is the only man LA. I had one that was so Caked up his ass was so amazing. It was the worst flight of my life I was like yeah, we can't have these LA beautiful Barbies He was like a perfect Kendall when I was like this is crazy.

2:59:43They're gonna be replaced great You replace with AI AI is gonna fly all the planes. I would love that. I hate the idea of these guys getting sleepy I hate that no that's a big part of playing crashes. How about the half strokes? They got that fifth booster and they fucking stroke out whether and Does that happen? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, people just tropeed out while they're flying. I'm not religious, but the private plane thing freaks me out because I'm worried that if God were to smite one of the planes, he'd be like, yeah, the comic who thinks they're how shit with a private jet. You're dead. Now when his kid's in it.

3:00:15That's what God's gonna do. Not terrorists. No, yeah, not terrorists. No, smite the comic with the big ego. Yeah. That's funny. The people who take the photos and throw the private jet, they're the ones who get to get smitten. Yeah. You post it right before you get on the flight. I worry about that 100 % you're going down dude. I'll look at a plane that I bought it see if there's kids I'm like oh we're safe we're safe guys. I'm gonna kill these kids. That's funny. Yeah totally Thank you. Thanks for being here. It's a lot of fun. Why should I special? It's available right now on Netflix. What's it called today?

3:00:47It came out today today? Take me with you take me with you All right Yeah, thanks for having me. My pleasure. I'll see you tonight. Well, it's fun. Oh, yeah. All right. Bye, everybody.

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