#2389 - Sal Vulcano

26:08I don't think it's entirely bullshit. I think there's something to it. I mean, look, you start, you know, you start lining all your ducks in a row. Eventually, you know, something's going to be cohesive. But the thing of like me running into a guy. That's what I'm saying. That's like, what's that? That's what I'm saying. The sailing and the fitness trainer. Like right when you're putting it out there, there's a lot of people that believe this. that believe that what we think of as physical reality, just being static and locked down, it's not really the case. And that there's a strange dance between consciousness and physical reality that we're not totally aware of.

26:48And that we don't really have the senses to be able to measure it, to somehow or another quantify it and put it on a scale. Like what percentage of how your life goes depends on what kind of energy you put out there. Energy's big. Energy's big. That's why I'm always very particular about who I hang out with. Because people think it's no big deal to hang out with idiots. But the problem is you're absorbing their energy. And instead of hanging out with really cool people and you absorb their energy and everybody gets out of there feeling fucking great. What a good time. What a good time. They just suck the energy.

27:23They suck it and they make it about them and they get negative and they're fucking passive aggressive and weird or whatever it is. It's like, I don't want to deal with him anymore, man. Yeah. You eventually shed those people. You should because they are energy. It's like you can. And I think how you feel personally, like how your life is going has a giant effect on how your life can go because you're thinking in a positive way. You know, like you're you're you're in the right groove. You're in the right vibration. Yeah. If you want to get real hippie, you want to get all crystal. But there's something to it.

27:59It's not everything. It's not the whole thing. I don't think it should be dismissed because I think there's a reality to it because I just there's too many times Too many times like how many times have you ever run into a fucking trainer? And the guy's telling you you're not never right? Blew me away. How many times? I took it I went sailing the dish took my first one in New York Harbor man. It was crazy It was parents lived on a sailboat for like two years might have been more might have been a little more. Yeah Yeah, they just started they before you were born no no no no when I was already a grown man Oh, okay right when I started getting on TV and I started making some loot I helped them get the sailboat and they got a sailboat and they just they already sailed no No, they learned how to sail It's not easy by the gangster move.

28:48Yeah, and they would like living down like in the Bahamas and shit That's living off of a sailboat wait What kind of parents you got? My parents, this is a foreign idea to me. Yeah, they just took this chance. They just decided, like, to let's see. They lived on it? Oh, yeah, with a cat, too. A cat that we had when we were kids. The cat was on the boat with them. This is fascinating. Yeah, they took, well, they're still alive. I shouldn't say they were. They are. They, you know, they like to live life. Did you go visit them on the boat? I did, yeah. Yeah, I visited them on the boat. Yeah, it was fun.

29:23I didn't visit them in the Bahamas. I visited them when they had it out here Oh, they had it in America, but it was interesting because like to be able to do that That's a crazy skin. They had a weather some storms like they had to get docked up during a storm My stepdad had to go out to someone else's boat because it wasn't tied down And it tied this dude's boat down in the middle of a fucking storm Yeah, that's like life risk. Yeah life risk dangerous shit. Yeah. Yeah. They did it for a couple years My mom was like, we're done. What was the life before that? Like, was there a standard? No, yeah, he's an architect.

29:57And, you know. Because that is a bold choice. Yeah, it was a crazy choice. Not even to just learn. Because it's like, I'm going to live on this sailboat. I'm going to go live in a tropical environment. I'm going to live. I'm going to learn how to sail. I think they just, you know, people don't like work, man. Like, a regular job, like, work sucks. And you get to a certain point in your life when your kids have left the house. and you're like, this is life. This isn't like preparing for something. This is life. I'm not preparing for life right now. So I don't want to do this. I don't like doing this.

30:28Let's just do something else while we can. Yeah, because when you're out on a boat, that's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is. It has a way of really like centering you. It's like being in the mountains or being in nature. When you're in nature, you go to the woods like, okay, this is the only thing that matters, this existence. I like that because I didn't grow up with that, and it's not common for me. And it's like the one thing that really resonates with me as far as like shutting my brain off and things like that. Oh, yeah, the ocean. There's a reason why all those rich folks live like right on the ocean.

30:58They're not stupid. Yeah. I rented a house once in Malibu. We were getting our kitchen redone in California, and we couldn't stay in the house. And so for like four months, we rented a house. And we rented this house like on the water. and you wake up and you sit in the patio and it's these sliding glass doors and you're literally above right above the ocean so you see nothing but this little little balcony and then water and you're like oh i get it yeah i wonder why these people live right next to each other in a 20 million dollar house yeah because i was like who the fuck wants to buy a house with no yard you're jammed up next to your neighbors that's stupid and then i got there one morning drinking coffee sitting there by myself smoking a joint i'm like okay yeah it's like biological it's like you get it yeah i go oh yeah i get it i see what you guys are doing yeah oh yeah this is better this is like you're watching a show and a work of art at the same time while you're you're taking in sunshine and fresh clean air from the ocean yeah but here's here's the fucker the difference The difference between the water in the day and the water in the night is huge.

32:12The water in the day is beautiful. It's blue, and you see dolphins, and you see seagulls everywhere. It's incredible. It's food for the soul. At night, it's a black monster. At night, when you realize, especially me, because I'm probably a little high at the time, and I'm looking out at that water. Abyss. And I'm like, there is billions and trillions of gallons of water out there. And no one can control it. And all it takes is the earth just having this one little, one little shift to the tectonic plates. And a fucking wave is coming. And you're right on the edge. And I sleep like a log. Yeah.

32:57You know? Yeah. If a tsunami's coming, you're done. Yeah, look at this one. Getting swept away. This is the Outer Banks? Yeah. Yeah, and this ain't even a tsunami. This is just a house. Yeah, it's tough, man. There's a video of this guy walking his dog in Russia, and it's real recent. And there was a tsunami that there was a giant warning. They knew it was going to happen because there was a huge earthquake off the coast. And so they knew it was coming. So this guy is way up on this cliffside. Watch this. Look how high he is. See how high he is? Yeah. Where is he? Oh, he's in Russia. That's him taking the video.

33:32Yeah. So he's taking this video and he's with his dog. It's kind of cool when you hear his voice, too. It's like, wolf, wolf, wolf. So look how high he was, right? And look at this water coming in. Oh, dude, it gets all the way over the top. No. Oh, yeah. Look at the dog. The dog's almost, dog doesn't know it almost died. This silly dog is just sitting there. It keeps going. Bro, this is bananas. Yeah, that's horrifying. Look how high it gets. And now at this point in time he's realizing like, oh shit, look, it gets over the top. It crests over the top of the fucking hill. Yeah. I mean, that's like 100 feet.

34:14Yeah. That's insane. Yeah, you've seen that perfect storm, right? But that's what happens at night. When you're sitting there at night, you can't sleep. Because you're like, what am I doing? Why would I sleep here? This is so stupid. It's weird how it flips like that. All you have to do is just be real. Like in the day you're not real. It's like, oh, the sun is giving me vitamin D. It's like, at night, it's like, no, no, no, no, no. This is just water. An immense amount of water that no one is in control of. Get out of here. I was like, get the fuck out of here. No. No? No, no, no, no, no. That's their world.

34:51That's their world, dude. This is an ad by BetterHelp. We have a lot of big holidays coming up. But before you start preparing for trick-or-treaters or make plans for travel for Thanksgiving, there's one other big day you should focus on. World Mental Health Day. It's October 10th. And if you don't know already, it's a great day to send some love to therapists. Maybe a therapist has made a positive impact on you or someone you love. Therapists listen, ask the right questions, and help someone move forward. They can help you if there's something keeping you up at night. If you're looking for a safe space, BetterHelp is a good place to start.

35:34They've spent the past decade helping people connect with the right professional therapist. And based on the millions of highly rated reviews, it's safe to say they do a great job. BetterHelp does most of the work for you, too. All you have to do is fill out a quick questionnaire. This World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10 % off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash J-R-E. That's BetterHelp.com slash J-R-E.

36:16I did it. I did it on a trip in the Cayman Islands. and I always wanted to do it so I was psyched to do it and I did one time prior to that in a pool so I was like alright whatever and I almost couldn't go through with it because the initial descent they have to put weights on you and it just goes against everything your body feels your body's like no no no no and they say try to breathe measured if you breathe a lot you run out of air faster oh fun Right. So it's like, yeah, just just hearing the fact you run out of air is the tank, the meter based on how much air is in or how much time, like how much you've been breathing.

36:57Like, could you fuck up and breathe too much? Yes. And it wouldn't say yet. No, no. I mean, I had a little dial. So it'll show you. Yeah. And I was with someone. But still, by the way, it doesn't matter, by the way. So it's like I couldn't get down. I'm claustrophobic. And so I think that played into it. But like you have to start. It just you have to overcome the sensation that you're maybe drowning or being suffocated. Like, you know, you go down and the weights start to pull you down and you adjust to breathing through here. But then that's it. Like and if you want to like talk or it's like you don't you don't feel comfortable and you just want out this, you know, you can't just get out.

37:37and once you go down 30 feet or so you have to like you know you can't just shoot up either you have to go up like slowly obviously right i mean it's not only 30 feet is the bends but like you know that whole thing and so i thought i was 30 feet where you get the bends is that no i only went 30 feet i think that's like very simple stuff but i still don't think it's like real shoot up right it's yeah it's deeper than that yeah but um but it's crazy you get too much nitrogen in your blood and you're fucked it's fucked up right that's crazy and i gotta that's It's their world, bro. That's not your world.

38:08That's their world. Well, it was 30 feet down. It was still kind of my world. That's far. Yeah, yeah. That's far. Yeah, but I can still see our world, you know what I mean? But if you're out of breath and you've got to get to that 30 feet and you're exhausted and out of breath, that's fucking terrifying. Yeah. Well, it was me and my friend and that was it. It was an instructor. No one else showed up. It was his birthday. I was taking him for his birthday, right? So they tell you some things. They're like, all right, I'm going to go down there with you and tell you signals and stuff. Like if I do this or whatever the signals were.

38:36And I'm like, all right, I'm trying to remember these goddamn signals, especially if I need to communicate something. Yeah, there should be a test. Yeah, there wasn't. So we go down. I finally overcome it. And I get down there. And once I got down there and calmed down, I had moments where I was a little panicky again. But in the moments where I was calm, I was like, all right, I'm going slow. I'm breathing slow. This is cool. And you just kind of start exploring. and there were these big, I guess Oscar, these big fish, literally the size of almost my body, like five or six of them together just there.

39:08But they couldn't harm you, but just the sheer size of them was like, I'll stay away from them. But then the instructor starts swimming forward and then my friend is behind her and I'm behind him. And at one point, I'm not good with the... Paddles? No, the flippers? Flippers? Is that flippers? Like, I don't know. Some people are just good with them. But, like, it's kind of like it's weird. It's an unnatural feeling. So I'm not good with them. And I got this fucking tank on me. And, you know, everything's tight, you know. And it's like and I'm trying to use the flippers. And I'm not really catching.

39:45Like I'm kind of falling behind a little bit. I'm not really doing it great. And then I start to try to do it faster. But then that, like, spins me a little bit. So now I'm spinning down there. And I'm trying to kick out of it. And I, like, want to communicate to the instructor. and she's in front of my friend swimming forward. And my friend's, I'm looking at his ass. I'm just like fucking like, I'm just like waving my hands. That seems wildly irresponsible. Yeah, I don't think she should have led like that. No. I would say she was probably 20 feet ahead of me swimming forward. And so at that one point, I was like, this is not, like this is crazy.

40:20I can't get help if I need help right now. And you're panicking. I did. I panicked. I started breathing heavy. Of course. And I had to like literally just bring myself back down. Let me ask you this. So they don't give you any tests to make sure that you're good at scuba diving? Yeah, we went in the water first. In the shallow area. We did some exercises and drills and they explained the signs. What's going to happen? Did you tell her you're claustrophobic? I don't think I did. When you say you're claustrophobic, are you self-diagnosed or did you go to a mental hospital? Self. You went crazy. But how did you, where do you get that from?

41:01Like where do I think, why do I think I have it? Yeah, why do you think you're claustrophobic? What makes you? Because I've been in scenarios in confined small spaces where I couldn't get out or I didn't have a lot of mobility. And I literally had a panic, like we have a panic attack. Like my heart starts beating out my chest. I feel like I can't breathe. So it's like an anxiety of being confined to a small space. Yeah, like when I was, I did an MRI. Oh. That was like. That's very claustrophobic. I started beating out of my chest. There was one time on a plane a long time ago. I don't like to fly either.

41:32So that combined with like I was in a row, like a really tight row, like just crammed in. And I just – I don't know. I just – it's happened a few times in my life where we're in like the back row of like a van where like it was closed in. Like I couldn't – anywhere where I can't get right out. And one time I was in a stretcher and I – they like lock you – like they strap you in. And that, I can't take that. I can't take it. What happened to you? Did you get stretched? I was in a car accident. Yeah, I was fine. I was okay. But they just precautionary put you in a stretcher? I was, to tell you the truth, I was driving and a guy ran a stop sign and plowed fast and plowed into me.

42:14I was a teenager. And my best friend was driving behind me. So he watched it happen. So he called right away. But I guess I kind of, I don't remember. I got hit and then I remember my girlfriend at the time crying and I remember talking to her, but I have no vision. I just hear the words. And I remember like I was hugging her and I could feel her tears. And then the next thing I remember in my mind was that I was in a stretcher on the floor and I woke up and like the ambulance was there and everything was there. So next thing I remember, but I'm telling this guy, I'm in this fucking thing. And he has me on the floor behind the ambulance and I'm right by the exhaust pipe.

42:52Oh, my God. I'm just laying on the... And the thing's like just right by the... I'm like, can somebody fucking move me away from the exhaust pipe? That's hilarious. But I couldn't... When I'm held down like that and confined and I can't move, it's like... I don't know. I just feel like I can't breathe. Right. I start to freak out. My mom has it. So I don't know if it's like... I don't know if it's... I just wonder what the difference between that and general anxiety is. Because if you have general anxiety, I would imagine you would get claustrophobic, too. So maybe that's what it is. Well, I'm just telling you what I feel in confined spaces.

43:21Oh, the reason why I'm asking is because I think we have excuse me. I think we have genetic memory of bad stuff I think that's why some people are allergic or are terrified of snakes Some people tear like there's a thing a real thing a phytophobia or arachnophobia Some people like they go into a hot panic. It's different than anything else, right? And I think there's something like in the genes from, you know, millions of years of evolution where someone down the line died or almost died because of one of these fucking spiders or one of these snakes or you saw someone get killed by a snake and you see them and you fucking lock up.

43:58How do you explain the phobia of clowns? Well, what do you mean? John Wayne Gacy? Yeah. There's a bunch of... Somewhere along the line. You can't see their real face. It's scary. Yeah. It's scary to not be able to see someone's real face. Yeah. Which was like one of the most fucked up things we did to kids during the pandemic is make everybody wear masks. Because kids are in school and they're not getting facial expressions. They're not getting them from teachers. They're not getting them from their classmates. It's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's weird. That's not good for human development. Yeah, that was the norm for a while.

44:30There's something, especially as kids, we don't like if we can't figure your face out. I can't see your whole face. You're wearing paint, so I'm not getting the right signals. You got a rubber nose on. You got weird fucking crazy hair. I'm like, I don't know if you're cool or not cool. Right. Right? If you're a regular guy, and I can tell if you're creepy, I can tell, like, this guy's got weird energy. Let's get out of here. Yeah. But a clown's like, hello, boys and girls. You're allowed to act like in this weird, silly way. Yeah, a clown could be right on the line, whether it's demonic or... A full-on demonic psychopath that you could hide as a clown.

45:02And you could hide with that language, that clown language. Right. Hi, boys and girls. Would you like to see a trick? Meanwhile, you're thinking about cutting that kid up in your basement. Yeah. You know? And those are real human beings. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember when clowns for a minute were in the news everywhere because there was a trend that clowns were terrorizing towns? It was like five years, maybe less than 10 years ago. No. Oh, my God. Where I'm from in Staten Island, we had this Staten Island clown. Oh, no. And there was a clown just showing up in public spaces and events just watching people and then recessing back into the night.

45:39And it would make appearances. It started making the papers. I do remember that. Oh, it was wild. Was it around the time that it came out, though? I don't think it was it. But the book. Maybe it was Terrifier. Oh, that late. Yeah. So what year was this? I think it was like, I would say, I would put it out 10 years. Okay. That was 2016. Okay. Yeah. But then other places, like other people started doing it. And then it was like clowns. And that was kind of fun, actually, though. I do remember that. I like that. I like that. I like the idea that there might be a clown that would go out one night.

46:10Because it almost felt like our version of Summer of Sam or something like that. People are like, if you're going out tonight, look out for the clowns. It is weird that there's always been throughout history, there's Jack the Ripper, there's always been these people. In Austin, they say this guy strangles. They don't know who Jack the Ripper is, right? I feel like there's some new, but there's always a story. New evidence reveals the true identity of Jack the Ripper. You never know what's just clickbait bullshit, and you click on it some nonsense website that tells you they found Jack the Ripper.

46:40So you're not going to get me every time. I just clicked on something that said that Christian Bale was Banksy. Nah. There was an article that said... Well, he's an amazing actor. That guy can do anything. It can't be. It's bullshit. It would be fun if it was. Yeah. He's an interesting dude. You know, he drives like a 1983 Toyota Tundra or a 93. Really? Why? Not even a Tundra. A Tacoma. He's a weird dude. Just like, this is all I need. I drive this. He's got a regular Toyota pickup truck. I shouldn't know like doxed him now people

47:16Dude he's got a tundra. I mean this thing was April Fool's what's that? The Banksy thing someone sent me a link I didn't even know I wouldn't be shocked if it was though You know I'm saying like as good as that guy is he could kind of do whatever he wants You know when you get to like that level of actor those are like weird exceptional humans. They don't come along that often. The Gary Oldmans, the Daniel Day-Lewises, there's these people that become another person. Those weirdos, they could do whatever they want. If he wanted to be Banksy, I would go, okay, yeah, it's not like Banksy's making Mona Lisas everywhere.

47:53Yeah, they're playing with different rules, I think. But I remember I was disappointed when I found out it was him. It's like, ah, I don't know, I want it to be mysterious. It's kind of amazing that nobody knows who Banksy is. yeah i mean it it's really weird actually did you see that uh doc that exit through the gift shop i didn't it's pretty interesting it's it's like it it follows other artists his name's like mr he has a moniker that he goes by and the people thought that he was banksy and so like it spends the whole thing like following him but it turns out he's not but it was a fun watch but it was like uh it's it's just wild to me that after all this time in the age we're living in now nothing has gotten like everyone like how many people know who he is like you know how close to the vest is his identity well he would have to be a truly brilliant person is it more than one person that would be likely right but even then you know if fucking i'm coming out with this you guys are Yeah, yeah, right one guy in the band that decides to leave It's gotta come for his girlfriend.

49:01You should go to the press. You can get money if you go to the press It's gonna come out eventually just come out. Listen sell your story before they don't want to buy your story. We need the money I didn't know you did voices. I do that one. That's a good one. That was pretty good. If I close my eyes That's good. Sell it. Sell it No, I don't do Mark it's sixty five thousand dollars. Do you have sixty five thousand dollars? You don't. But it's going to be worth nothing. The next thing you know, the band's breaking up. That's funny, dude. That always happens. I went to, I went to, I was invited to this brunch in England.

49:41And it was a guy, man, he was a descendant of, who's the guy who was like, oh.

49:56Like, when you're thinking about your mom, what's that guy? What are you talking about? Yeah, I know, I know. I'm literally having a stroke. I have no idea what you're saying. I know. Jamie, do you know what he's saying? He needed a couple more words. He wasn't getting to it. Yeah. When you think of your mom, that guy. Who's he? Yeah, the guy. It's like, what's it? Freud. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm thinking Freud. Yeah. So I think he's a descendant. I didn't know you were talking about a baseball player. I think Freud is like his great-great-grandfather or something. And then he also married into, it's the biggest publication in the biggest media company, conglomerate, overseas.

50:41I forget his name. He's a super rich, famous family that married into another super rich, famous family. Freud family and then whoever this is. Anyway, I'm at this person's house. Long story short. I don't remember how I got invited there. I think his daughter - Where is it? It was somewhere outside of London, and it was unassuming because we walked through row houses, through an alley to get to their property. And I think the daughter of this - I feel bad that I'm forgetting their name because they were gracious hosts, but I did. The daughter, I think, was a fan of ours or something and somehow got in touch and we got invited there.

51:22It was a weird, wild thing. So I find myself at this place. I didn't know anyone. And I get there and, like, it was a weird collection of people there. Apparently this guy hosts a brunch forever. He's, like, known for it. And he has a lot of friends and a lot of celebrity friends. And so there was celebrities and stuff there at this brunch. It was really cool. Walk in. There was all food trucks and stuff. And getting to their house. and uh at the time Woody Harrelson was filming a movie in London and it was crazy it was a one it was a live movie in one shot they rehearsed for this movie for months and months and months and then a live stream into theaters and he acted live and the entire thing was one shot it was like 90 minutes long I can't believe it didn't get more press just from the nature of that.

52:16That's insane. But, yeah. Wow. So he was out there for that. And so he was at this brunch. And I think Owen Wilson was also at this brunch. How did I forget about this? Do you recall it now? I'm kind of recalling hearing about it now. Yeah, it was kind of. But it didn't get any love. No, but I went and saw it and it was really fucking cool. So there's, I mean, there's a lot of different people there. Liv Tyler, just the guys from Oasis. There was just a collection of people there. And I found myself, they had like a little, not escape room, what do you call it? Safe room? And the safe room was just converted.

52:58It had a ping pong table in. I went downstairs. I walk into the safe room and Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson are playing ping pong down there. And it was them two, a cat and me. And I just watched them play ping pong. I don't know them. But I'm getting to this. Oh, so anyway, they had Banksy's. like they had they had a they had a fucking man you know I think I need to take a supplement from my I need to get some Ginkgo below me who's the artist with like Picasso they had a Picasso I'm like who's the guy who puts like an eye over here the guy with no ear no that's Van Gogh yeah she had they had Banksy's like just in the house like up like that like wow that's probably I mean I'm you know that's a million dollars yeah probably at least I don't know I don't know how much they are but I was like Oh, wow, that's like your own personal Banksy.

53:45I went over an agent's house once in Aspen, and this is like a long time ago. And we were there for, they used to have the Aspen Comedy Festival. And I was over his house, and I was like, oh, did his kid make this? There's like this painting on the wall. And they're like, no, that's a Chris Bubba. I go, he paid for that? It looked like tissue. I'm just saying this to another agent. So it's me and this other agent shooting the shit over a couple of cocktails. We're laughing. But I'm like, for real? And he goes, yeah, that's worth like$35 ,000. I'm like, there's no way that is. It's like a kid did that.

54:21It was like pieces of tissue paper glued with some paint splattered on it. It's nuts. I was like, what is this? Do you know the origins of that stuff? Of what? They think it was a CIA psyop. For what? Modern art like that. Come on. Yes. Yeah. There's some evidence that points to the CIA. Like when they just nail a banana to the wall or something. Yeah, a little bit of that, but a little bit of like Jackson Pollock. I was going to bring up Pollock because Stern did that. Did you ever see when Howard did that? He was like, I can make a Jackson Pollock and you won't know the difference. And he did it on a show.

54:56He did it and he put it next to each other and nobody knew the difference. Yeah. So what they think is we couldn't compete during the Cold War with the classical artists of Russia. Like there's some incredible painters in Russia at the time and I'm sure there are now but We didn't have a similar level. We didn't have a da Vinci over here We didn't we didn't have someone who could do what they were doing and so the CIA came up with a plot to popularize Nonsense art and make it like really huge and make all these investors want to spend money buying like nonsense art And apparently there's I never would have considered that until I paid attention to all the other shit They've done over the last you know X amount of decades and I was like I think that's true because it doesn't make sense to me that that stuff would just emerge and also be worth millions of dollars And someone wouldn't figure out exactly what Howard Stern figured out.

55:53Yeah, I can make this on my own Right, and you could just say it's a Pollock It was a Jackson Pollock and no one would know like what are we talking about then? We're talking about something that anybody can do. If you look at the Mona Lisa, you're like, well, I can't do that. You know, you look at, you know, there's a million paintings. You look at it, like, especially today. There's something about the level that people are at today where they're making, like, photograph realistic paintings. Photo realistic paintings. Like, that are above and beyond anything anyone's ever accomplished in the history of art.

56:23But because it looks so realistic, people don't even seem to care. Modern art was the CIA weapon. Spy agency used unwitting artists such as Pollock and de Kooning in a cultural Cold War In that wild so scroll up to the thing this is from the independent. Oh, you have to support Okay So the connections of problem there's a period in the 1950s 1960s when the great majority of Americans disliked or even despised modern art President Truman summed up the popular view when he said, if that's art, then I'm a hettentot. I don't know what that means. Hottentot. Hottentot? What's a hottentot? I don't know, but I'll tell you right now, I'm starting to use that word.

57:08A hottentot. Jamie, Google that word. What is that word? Never heard it. What's a hottentot? Sounds like a candy. Sounds like a candy. What is a hottentot? TOT What's a hot and tot? An outdated and offensive term historically used by Europeans to refer to, I don't know how to say that word, K-H-O-E-K-H-O-E, an indigenous group of nomadic pastoralists from South Africa. Jesus Christ. I'm not going to use that. The president was using that. You want to talk about the world being different? The president was using a slur. Oh, my God. As for the artists themselves many were ex-communists and barely acceptable in the America of the McCarthyite era And certainly not the sort of people normally likely to receive US government backing So why the CIA support them because in the propaganda war with Soviet Union This new artistic movement could be held up as proof of the creativity the intellectual freedom and the cultural power of the US Russian art Oh with of the US rather Russian art strapped into the communist ideal ideological straightjacket could not compete Hilarious so because their artists were better We decided to come up with some nonsense art and make people think that was the shit and they in it It worked it worked But are we saying that they found those artists and prop them up?

58:36No, the artists were Or no, the artist already existed, but the CIA propped them up and push them out as being amazing and they did it in an effective way and look if they're all these like super duper rich people are involved or closely connected to the CIA all they would have to do is have art exhibits at their house and tell everybody how Amazing this guy is yeah, I'm mind-blowing this piece is and they'll all agree They're all works in a general sense now anyway It's like there are people at the top that dictate a lot of this stuff You know what I mean that well for sure, but there's also just talent, you know Yeah, it's really good like all they have to have is an Instagram page if they're really town Oh, yeah, but I'm saying the art world and the and like the art as a commodity and that kind of stuff like You know like the bottom can fall out at any time of that just like anything else It's like gas but people always want art But the thing is like what I'm getting at is nobody wanted that art Yeah, and then all of a sudden it became worth millions it became worth millions because of the CIA Yeah, that's why mine fuck the American people into believing that terrible art is really good.

59:38That's wild wild. Yeah No, I just I just read an article recently about like how Art as investment like there's been like a huge change where a lot of Artists are being pushed and were really hot by galleries and this and that like just years ago and selling X amount Like they're their stuff's not worth anything right now. Wow. Yeah Wow I wonder why Well when the economy starts going I would imagine That people stop buying art Right like luxury items Shit you don't need art Yeah it wasn't I forget but it wasn't it wasn't economy based It was like The trend The trend within that world Or whatever it's like it's always weird to me How people put a price tag on that stuff I was in I was in Venice recently And we went to I guess it's the the Guggenheim family gallery.

1:00:31It's a house that's like, it's a gallery that's like on the water. You pull up in one of those little boats, you get off and you're in the gallery. And it's like priceless art. It was one person's collection. So one super rich lady put together, I think, is it called the Peggy Guggenheim in Venice? I might be making that up. But anyway, it's a lady, a very wealthy lady who really loved art. Is that it? Oh, what a memory. And she has this incredible collection where you're like, how much did she spend? Like, this is like a billion dollars in art. It's nuts, man. What is that? Oh, that's the front page.

1:01:14Oh, that's an exhibit that they have there. But it's all, there's some modern stuff, but there's a lot of like, like priceless shit. Yeah. Just unbelievable collection. You collect anything? No. Nothing? No. I collect pool cues. I like pool kids. No art at all. Nothing. I have some art. Yeah. But I have friends that are artists. Well, this place is filled with art, obviously. Yeah, I'm looking around, yeah. But I think of my house very differently in this place. I definitely collect art. Okay. I love art for here. But for my house, I don't have anything. Okay. I don't collect anything. I started.

1:01:44This is like, I feel like the studio is a totally different thing. This is like, it's not my house. It's like a showcase. Yeah. I like to put cool stuff in here. Yeah. If my house was like this, it's too chaotic. It's too weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the creative space. It's cool. It's cool in here. I have a few pieces at home from this guy Greg Overton. He's a friend of mine, and he does Native American art that is just spectacular. He does these huge pieces, like eight foot by six foot, giant Native American faces that are just... I saw him for the first time. I was in Park City, just going through the little town, and they had a gallery.

1:02:26And we were walking around like, oh, let's go look at the gallery. And it was just like right away I was like, whoa. Pull up one of his photos. If you can pull up the one that I have. But I stare at that motherfucker every day. Yeah. It's totally different. You know, it's like I just think what this was like. This is a very accurate representation of a real person that lived here 200 years ago. They're like, what is that dude's life like? Oh, shit. That's what that one's on my wall. God. Yeah. How good is this guy? Wow. What is that oil? What is it? Oh, yeah, it's oil paint. Wow. Oil or acrylic or, I mean, I don't know what exactly he uses, but it's painting.

1:03:05So, like, realistic. Oh, well, it's just really good, man. That's one of the ones that I have, but I have another one, this dude who has white paint on his face and this crazy scar on his face. It's like his stuff is, first of all, the dude, like, loves, that's it. The one above it with the feathers, the white one, yeah, that's it. Make that little bigger That one I see when I'm walking down the hall every day. Oh shit. I was like the first thing I see in the morning is that motherfucker staring at me Wow Because I you know that's kind of powerful dude. It's so powerful. Yeah, I love that painting Greg's a friend too and he's cool motherfucker, but that that that to me represents There was a real human that looked exactly like that walking around 200 years ago had no idea what was going to happen to this country in just a short amount of time.

1:03:59And this dude in 1810 is just out here, lived his whole life out here like this, living under the stars, following the buffalo around. There's something really powerful about knowing that people used to live like that that recently. So recent. And now he hangs right by your powder room. He's at the end of the hallway right when I get up on purpose. I want to walk towards him. That's serious. The stuff I've collected is a little bit more vibrant, a little bit more not so photorealistic and stuff. I was going to tell you someone I thought you'd like is this artist, Jordy Kerwick. I found him on my own during the pandemic.

1:04:44I bought a piece of his art, and I really loved it. What does he do? What kind of stuff? I mean, it's kind of like, well, his style has changed. I bought like a still piece that was like, but now he's moving to this really funky, cool, like lizard. Whoa. What is that? This is some cool shit, right? Yeah. Oh. He's awesome. He does sculptures too? He's from Australia, I believe. He lives in France. He does sculptures. Yeah, he blew up too. And he's like, he's the nicest guy. So like a couple of years, like a few years after I bought his piece, I saw him like something of mine on instagram and i was like oh he because i i zoomed with him before i bought it i guess just to talk about it for a minute and i thought maybe he just fought like followed me and knew who i was because i bought his art but he didn't he just knew me through comedy and so i hit him up and i go hey man i saw you like something of mine like you know i bought something from you right he's like i have no idea no it's like yeah we took we zoomed i he's like and he's like no no i just i'm a fan i'm like dude your stuff is amazing and this guy was so nice he ended up sending me more artwork like he shipped me more artwork of his and it's like expensive and he just he just was so generous he sent me more stuff that's awesome this guy's dope yeah yeah that looks like where the wild things are how fucking dope is that right very very his style has changed so much too and it's like i want to get another piece i'm like part of me is like i don't want to if i'm gonna spend if i'm gonna get it i want to like you know get try to vary it up but i like His stuff so much that I just kind of want to like whoo he does weird shit, too.

1:06:18Yeah, that was creepy Yeah, yeah art is awesome, man. It's like it's got so few limitations You could do whatever you want you paint whatever you want Sculpt whatever you want, you know, and you have that thing in your house You get to stare at and it gives you like a whole different sense of life. Yeah, like somebody made that This popped out of someone's imagination Use my cough button still is it still broken? Let's try it It seems like it's working now. When the whole thing's not out, it acts a little weird. Oh, that's what it is? Yeah. Okay. How good are you with a bow and arrow? Pretty good.

1:06:54How good? I bow hunt. Right. Yeah, I practice every day. But I don't really know every day. Yeah, yeah, you have to. All right, so if I - I mean, I shouldn't say you have to every day, but you have to practice a lot. You have to be really accurate. But like back in the day when they battled with bow and arrow, what skill level were those guys? Oh, that's a totally different kind of archery. Right. So that kind of archery is... How much of that was like letting it fly and how much of it was like, I'm a sniper, I'm going to... Oh, no, they were good. Guys are good. My friend Aaron Schneider, he's such a good bow hunter that he decided he wants to hunt with a recurve, like a regular bow for a while.

1:07:32Because like... What's the difference? It's way harder. Okay. Way harder to be accurate. Like a Robin Hood bow? Yeah, Robin Hood bow. Really? A regular bow. Yeah, he killed everything with it. He killed bears. He killed deer, elk, everything. He's like a professional hunter. He's like a world-class hunter, ex-military guy, got into hunting. He's a fucking beast. Yeah. And when bow hunting, which is one of the hardest things to do, becomes so easy, you want to pick up a regular bow and go shoot that, that shows you what type of human you're talking about. But he can group into a softball-sized lump at 45 yards.

1:08:06He just fires them in. No. Yeah, he's super accurate with that thing. Oh, fuck. So I tried once. I was on vacation, and I'm like, I'm good with a bow and arrow. I know how do you shoot a bow and arrow. I do it all the time. I was hitting him in the ass, hitting him in the neck. I was hitting him all over the place. Not a human. Not an animal, rather. A foam target. We were shooting recurves, and I was like, I'll be able to do it. It was like a thing that you do. You shot skeet. It was at an island resort. It was pretty fun. And then you shot skeet, and then you got to shoot these recurves, and I was like, oh, I got this.

1:08:35Bro, I was terrible. I didn't know. Totally different technique. Yeah. It didn't carry over. It carried over a little. I mean, I hit the target, but there's no way I was accurate. So if I gave chase, if I ran from you and you had to get, like, could you take me out if I'm running around like a moving target? Well, it depends on how far away you are. Okay. You know, because - So call it - So the arrow's going 279 feet a second. A second? A second. So what's that in miles? I don't know. But that's when I look at my range finder. I'm just doing quick math, but I think that's a billion miles an hour.

1:09:13I have to enter in my range finder. I enter in how fast the arrow's going. Yeah, I enter in how fast the arrow's going, how much the arrow weighs. And it gives me a very precise measurement of where my arrow's going to be at the top of its flight. So when I range something, I use a laser range finder. It's called a full draw. Leupold makes it. and when I click on the button, it gives me the distance. So I'll say like 53 yards, but it also gives me the height of my arrow because I've entered in the speed of my arrow and the weight of my arrow and the feet per second it goes. So you're going from home plate to center field in a second and a half.

1:09:51It's so fast. It's like you barely keep your eyes on it. And then mine is not as fast as other guys. Like I have a friend of mine, my friend Josh Jones, He just put together a bow that I think goes 340 feet a second. But he's a big, tall guy. And when you're a taller person, you have a longer draw length and you'll get more speed out of the bow. I can't wrap my head around that speed of a bow. They're very fast. Like I said, if you were at home, the way I'm thinking of it. 200 to 136, 340 is 232 miles per hour. 232 miles an hour? That's crazy. That's a big increase. That's insane. It's so fast, dude.

1:10:32That's the way I'm thinking of it. If you're at home plate, I'm at center field, and you shoot your arrow at me, I have a second, one second to move out of the way. His arrow's going 231.82 miles an hour. That's bananas. And there's people that karate chop those. Not really. Not that. You kind of see a regular, okay, you got a longbow, which is probably the slowest, and then you have recurves. recurves i don't know if the mongolians invented them or if the mongols invented them but the mongols had the strongest known bows they had bows that take 160 pounds to draw back so much so that like some of their skeletons were disfigured wow because they had so much time pulling in one direction that their whole body was like contorted in that shape chiropractor would have cleaned up back then.

1:11:23But those guys were, I don't think tarnepravers were real. But those guys were super accurate. But you'd have to do it every day. If you do it every day, it's like a pitcher, right? Like if you ask me to throw a strike, who knows what's going to happen? I might not even go near the plate. I don't throw a ball very often. Not since you started doing martial arts. But I mean, the point is, even if you did, you'd have to do it over and over and over again to be able to throw a strike in a game against a real good batter, right? That's what these guys are doing with bows and arrows. They're getting to that point where it's just like throwing a ball.

1:11:57They know exactly how far it is, exactly where the arrow is going to go at that distance. They have a feel because they're doing it every day. But you have to do that every day. The kind of archery I do, you don't have to do it as much. You probably should do it every day. But mine is like I'm dialing this sight out to the exact yardage. I've got like a fiber optic pin that's sitting over the spot. Like I know exactly where it's super high-tech. Yeah, and then you know exactly where the arrow is gonna be at every Spot of the way if you shoot it straight how long because of all that is it more about?

1:12:33Understanding it to be accurate or is there also still like you got to be steady and everything I mean you have to be you have to just do it so much that it becomes a part of you It's like you know when when you were playing basketball I'm sure there were times when you're fucking around with your friends where you just hit a flow You just hit a flow and you start running around my 13th point But you know what I mean when you're with your friends not when you get your ass kicked by Dominicans But when you're just hanging out with your boys Every now and then you'll catch a flow right where you feel it and you just know the ball what what?

1:13:07Everything else is it's like taking that and just doing it all day long until you can do it at any time you want. You're always in that flow. So how long did it take you to feel like, oh, I know what I'm doing, or oh, I have a marked improvement right now? It just takes, it took years. Years. Years of practice. That's wild. Yeah. So years of just like not hitting. No, you always hit the target, but not consistently. So, you know, like I'd be in my backyard and I used to have a 45-yard target and I was pretty good at 45 yards. I could get most of them in the spot that I wanted to hit. But every now and then one would go left one would go right now They're all going in there now 45 yards for me is like zip zip zip zip I'll ruin arrows because I'm stacking them on top of each other But if I go out to like 85 yards then things spread out because then all of your movement is Magnified so the key is it's like any little variation little twitch to the left or to the right over the course of 85 yards It's gonna vary six inches left or right maybe right whereas at 45 would just be like a little bit You know, you think you're still dead on and it's it just magnifies all the flaws in your technique so it's like a you lose yourself in it because While when you're at full draw and I'm not even talking about bow hunting.

1:14:23I'm just talking about Target archery when you're at full drawn. You're really trying to hit that target. You have no room for anything else There's no room in your mind You're your bills or an argument you had with a business partner or fucking and tickets you haven't paid, there's no room. Everything goes away. It cleans the mind because it requires all of your focus. That's the best part of it. That's the best part of it. Everything after that, it just becomes like everything else. It becomes like a vehicle for you to express yourself, whether it's learning how to play a guitar, whether it's shooting a bow, playing pool, playing basketball.

1:15:00It's like you're just finding a vehicle for you to express your spirit. You ever let go of an arrow and like a bird? No, no, no, that would be crazy. Like Randy Jackson. You ever seen Randy Jackson? I did see that. That was nuts. Bird explode feathers. Fucking that guy was a house. That guy threw heat. He was like seven foot one. He was so big. He was a gangly guy. Fucking bird exploded. Yeah. It was perfect. It was like the universe threw us a ball. Right? Like the universe wasn't something fucked up. Yeah, that's right. Every now and then the universe does that. Live TV. You just continue. Yeah.

1:15:35There's feathers on the floor.

1:15:39It's like a Looney Tune cartoon. This video's nuts. Boom! Oh, my God. Yo, that video is nuts. Disintegrated. That video is nuts. And he's a lefty, too, son. Look at the slow-mo. That bird made... Oh, my God, dude. What a mistake that bird made. It's just crazy that it didn't just kill the bird, but knocked every single feather loose. You could just cook that thing. Every single feather. Put it right on the fire. It's pre-plugged. It's like when you get into an accident and your shoes and socks come off. It's like every feather went. Oh my God. Let me see when - There's something about lefties too.

1:16:21Yeah. I think lefties learn things better than righties. I know a lot of lefties that are really good at shit. It seems like the lefties that are like really good. They're like exceptionally good. Weird, like oddly good. Yeah. I think seeing everybody do everything opposite and forcing your brain to adapt to this world where you're writing and you're smudging your paper all the time. It's right in the wrong way. It's all weird, right? Yeah. And then you're seeing everybody's doing everything with their right hand and you're doing it with your left and you're supposed to. Everything seems wrong to you.

1:16:55So by doing that, you have to really think about your movements. Yeah, but the left-handed comes out early, right? It's like inherent. That movement is inherent. It's not like they're working at it. Right, right. So it's like, I don't know. Do they even have to think about those things? Or is it just like coming? Oh, they definitely do. Yeah? Because everything's reversed. Yeah. Like if someone tries to teach you something, they have to teach you the opposite way. It is a right-handed person's game, usually. Like say if you're a boxing coach and you only fight orthodox. You've only fought orthodox your whole life.

1:17:23And then some kid comes in and he says I'm left-handed and you have to decide if you're going to teach this kid fucked up and teach him left hand first Which some people actually think is actually a benefit, right? In fact, some great boxers actually fought like Oscar de la Hoya fought dominant hand first So there's a few guys that have done that where they will if they're right-handed guys They'll put their right hand in front But for the most part you would want to teach that kid how to fight as a southpaw Which would mean you would have to reverse everything, right? So if you don't know how to do it, the right – if your technique is off and you're showing someone how to do something, you're not really – so the kid's got to learn things from his stance and watch you and just duplicate it, like mirror it from the other side.

1:18:08And sometimes that just teaches you more about the movement itself because you think about it. Because one of the things they say if you really want to learn something, say if you're in a martial arts skill, if you have a dominant side, like if you're really good at throwing a kick with your right leg, if you throw it and practice it and get it better with your left leg, your right leg will improve as well. Oh, that's interesting. I didn't hear that. Yeah. I feel like, yeah. Because you're kind of, yeah. I could see how that would track. It gives you a more comprehensive understanding of what you're doing.

1:18:41And they say that about pool, too. I can't really play with my left hand. I can make like simple shots with my left hand. But there's guys that can just switch hands. The ambidextrous people are like probably aliens. Yeah. Just equal both on both sides. Like equal. They could do it without even thinking either which way from the get. This is a crazy example in professional pool. There's this kid named John Moore, elite, like top of the food chain, pro pool player. Hurts his shoulder. Can't play right-handed anymore. learns how to play left-handed and becomes world-class left-handed. Wow. Learned as a professional when he hurt his arm that he had to start playing left-handed.

1:19:22Started playing left-handed and started winning world-class events as a lefty, beating world-class top-of-the-food-chain pool players who've been playing right-handed their whole life. And he's been playing lefty for like two years. Yeah. It's nuts. I can't write my name. I broke my arm once. And I had to write my name and I write everything with my left hand. It was fucking terrible. No, there's nothing there. And I draw, so I was trying to learn how to draw with my left hand. But I think now in retrospect, it might have helped me draw better with my right hand. I think if you can learn how to do something, that's why I think lefties are better at stuff.

1:19:59What do you draw? Well, I used to want to be a comic book illustrator when I was a kid. So I drew a lot of comic book stuff. Oh, shit. You do that still? No, not anymore. You don't miss it? I mean I can do it I can pick it up But I would have to get into it really to like achieve the skill that I used to have and then I would like I don't have any time Yeah, it's fun. I love drawing, but yeah, I don't have any time Those kids in school always like blew my mind They'd just be sitting there drawing like comic book like literal like that good. Oh, yeah Yeah, self-taught or you just gonna yeah mostly self see that's also gotta be something.

1:20:29That's I mean if you start from nothing and just like I don't know I see I feel like that's inside you somewhere as well like to be a naturally gifted just to know how to Some people are just better at that than why the very artistic family my uncle Sal and my uncle Vinny were both artists Okay, so my mom's brothers both brothers were artists. What kind of artists? one of them ran a pottery guild and I was an art teacher and the other one did a bunch of different types of art Photography and did a lot of album covers covers for kiss Yeah, no shit. Yeah, and he took me to work with him once and I got to meet ace freely when he had no makeup on Like before, before anybody knew what they really looked like.

1:21:11Before he became a clown? No, no, they had makeup on back then, but no one knew what they looked like in real life. Right. So he showed up in the office with no makeup on. I was like, this is crazy. That's wild. And I think I was probably like 10, you know, and I was like, this is nuts. I was just hanging out with my uncle in the office. Yeah. And fucking Ace Freely walked in. That's, that's wild. My, my third grade teacher, um, her brother was the drummer in Twisted Sister. No. Yeah, Tony Piero. We're not going to take it. She's the first, like, I mean, like rock star that cross-dressed. Like Dee Snider in them.

1:21:50Right? Yeah, they were one of the big glam rock bands. But it was almost cross-dressing. That's him on the right of Dee. Right, like you would kind of, you would say. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's. You would ask his pronouns. You know what I'm saying? That's like poison all those groups back then But um so yeah so she lived so we lived in these little garden apartments Look at that That's so ridiculous Bro they were huge They were huge They were fucking huge man Was the beauty mark added or is that natural? Shit Uh I don't know maybe they added it It's like a Marilyn Monroe one Remember when the ladies were doing that they were adding a fake beauty mark Like what are you doing honey So this guy so my teacher lived upstairs from us in the apartment building so he used to go the other house all the time so I was in grammar school I was in I was like I couldn't have been more than like eight something like that and my dad was the superintendent of the apartment buildings and so he knew everyone I was my teacher so we met him at a young age and he used to come over my house all the time so I have pictures of me like my parents in my parents kitchen like just sitting down eight years old in my pajamas with him and just eating like a tuna sandwich and he's like literally dressed like that.

1:23:07I swear to God, dude, I have one where he's in full electric blue spandex pants. Oh, my God. And like a ripped jean jacket with his hair all up, and it's just me and him sitting at the table. Oh, my God. Oh, dude, that's so ridiculous. We used to, I remember back then, did you ever have the denim jacket? Oh, I had a denim jacket, for sure. And then we got the patches all over it. Oh, yeah, that's right. When we graduated, everyone signed, take a Sharpie, a black marker, sign your jacket. I don't think that exists anymore. Oh, no. That kind of thing. Yeah. Denim jackets were a sign you were a rebel.

1:23:43I had one. You were wearing a denim jacket, especially if you had a pack of cigarettes in the denim jacket. Yeah. You know? I remember there's this one kid. You know sometimes when you're like 14, you see some kid that you've never seen before, and you're like, wow, that guy's so cool. There was this dude, he had a denim jacket on and a pack of cigarettes in his pocket, and he just had perfect hair and he just looked cool like this Italian looking kid. I'm like, that guy looks so cool. I wish I was cool. I can never be that cool. He was like smoking a cigarette in the breezeway. I was like, that guy, he's in a movie.

1:24:17That guy's in a movie. I was a dork. I was trying to hide from people. I was trying to, that influenced me so much that I took my money that I made for confirmation and I bought a Van Halen replica guitar. I bought it. Did you learn how to play? No, not a fucking chord. It was the red guitar with the white lines on it. It was a kid's one, though. And I bought it at this place still there, Mode Music on bass. I took all my money. I bought that. I bought an amplifier. I bought a guitar case. And I spent all my money on it. And I never used it, never took it out of the... I just never used it. I have it to this day.

1:24:55Wow. Well, you can learn as a part of your workout regimen. Yeah, I like a mental concentration workout. Yeah, I could it's kind of right I used it one time It came to it came full circle on on the show Do you know the band imagine dragons yes, okay, so we I met met them along the way friendly with them So before they well they was big because this was Jones Beach, which is like 15 ,000 people they sold that out they were playing Jones Beachers like maybe again ten years ago and we They made me, they threw me out on stage before they came out as one of the opening acts. And I had to sing and play guitar to almost 15 ,000 people.

1:25:38And I don't sing or play guitar. And they didn't tell me what songs. I had to make it up on the spot. Oh, no. Me and my buddy Joe, who they put him as the drummer, they introduced us as a band called Senora Lanza, which was the name of our high school Spanish teacher. And so. Oh, my God. There was three opening acts before us, which is bonkers, right? And so when they were about to come on, they made it like they were going to come on. They lowered the lights and all those freaking spotlights started going all over the place. And the place went nuts. And then they introduced the fourth opening act.

1:26:11And us two walked out. He got behind the drums. And I used that guitar that I bought in 1989, June 89. I finally used it in like 2015. And they just, they're like, all right, go. You're an opening act. and that's all they said. Oh my God. And I just started like just hitting the guitar and just making up songs and stuff and we were getting booed, shit. People were throwing things at us. Can we hear it? It's probably in clips. Is it like copyrighted? No, no, I made it up. Oh, you mean because of the show? I doubt that. Let's play some of it. Can I see it, Jamie? I put in your pants pocket a dedication for this set open it up and read it oh you had to dedicate the set yeah the dedication was terrible because i'm gonna play look mommy i'm a rock star oh boy all right this is this is uh one of our favorites

1:27:15he doesn't know how to play Oh, my God.

1:27:47They made me sing five songs. Oh, my God. Shut your face, grandma. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. Also, they made me call them the Imagination Dragons right in the beginning. And I dedicated. I said, everyone just calm down. The Imagination Dragons will be out in a little while. And then the dedication was like this. It was in Long Island. I was like it was like this this this set is dedicated to the people of Pittsburgh because I could already tell that you guys are not going to be half as good an audience as them. And then I started playing. They were booing us and everything. Oh, my God. And then at one point a guy came to like a guy came on stage and he tried to grab my guitar for me.

1:28:33And I just I didn't know what was going on. I mean, I was like a deer in the headlights out there. I was like 14 and I just pushed him away. And he's like trying to grab my ground. I'm pushing him away and I'm singing through it. Right. I'm cursing also because I'm just like free for freewheeling up there and I knew they're Mormons They don't really curse and so like they were like I didn't get the memo. I wasn't supposed to curse Oh, and so I'm dropping f-bombs. I I sang a song called fuck the imagination dragons I'm better than them. How long did you sing for I would say I would say like probably somewhere like eight seven eight minutes

1:29:09I mean, I'm getting hit with ice. That's so long. And then and then this guy, he keeps trying to get the guitar for me. I'm ripping it from him and I'm like, fuck the magic. And he's trying to and I wouldn't let him have it. And I didn't realize that was the official union stage manager trying to get me off the stage because there's a curfew that they have to hit and they have to do their full show and they have to do their finale. And as soon as they go, you know, this past curfew on a union stage, the entire thing is like double time for every single worker there. And then there's penalties.

1:29:44It's hundreds. It could be like$100 ,000. Plus. Yes. And so no one tells me who this guy is. So I'm shoving the real union stage manager off of me because I thought he was trying to just sabotage me. And I thought I had to stay out there. So I push him away. I push him away. The guy's like, give me the goddamn good. I'm like, I'm not taking, you know. And I found out afterwards that that was like official and I was supposed to get off and I didn't. I caused them later because they couldn't not do their encore. Their encore went into overtime. And the encore, that dude, he gets hooked up to his cables.

1:30:17They lift him into the air and they spin him in circles while he plays drums. It's wild. And they said they went into the bonus and they had to pay all these fees because of me. Oh, no. Did you guys reimburse them? No, I don't have money to reimburse them. Like, I just, I know. They're still our friends. But, like, and at the end, they're, like, stage dive off. And I'm looking in the crowd, and I'm, like, I'm going to kill myself. These people aren't going to catch me. Like, they hate me. Right. And they stage dive, stage dive. So I just ran and I jumped off. But I kind of just, like, landed on the floor and rolled.

1:30:54Like, no one caught me. It was, yeah, it was rough. It was rough. But that's the guitar. That's how cool I thought that he was in Twisted Sister. That's how cool I was like, look at this guy. Which one of your friends told you to stage dive? Fuck him. Whoever was, I don't know. That is so irresponsible. I know. Well, they were never going to catch me. They saw me and I kind of jumped off. I think as I'm in the air jumping off, I got hit with a soda. It was bad. Oh, my God. That's so ridiculous. I know. That's so ridiculous. Yeah, the show has given me a lot of opportunities to do stuff like that.

1:31:32I would never have done like that. Well, who the fuck ever gets to do something like that? Yeah. The balls to stand up there while all those people hate you and go through with whatever they're telling you to say. I have a ping of anxiety. Did anybody let them know afterwards that it was for... I don't recall. I don't recall. I would imagine maybe they came out and said something, but I don't remember. It was like 10 years ago. That's funny. there was another time they put us in the devils during in between periods they threw me as a goalie in the net of the New Jersey devils and all the devils came out and took slap shots on me, me and my buddy Q it was two of us in net and it was scarier than that, like they were taking blistering slap shots at us I was in full devils gear as a goalie and I remember there was someone from like Sports Illustrated or something was there and I have this, I saved it, like a chain of his tweets that he was tweeting, and he's like, I don't know what's going on here, but the devils are apparently taking slap shots at a civilian.

1:32:32He's down on the ground. He's very hurt. This is not a good promotion. He's like, I don't think that the devil should be doing this type of promotion with fans. He didn't know it was our show. Oh, wow. And he's like, did you get hurt? No, not like hurt, hurt. It hurt, but I didn't get hurt. Okay. So, boom, when you were down, he didn't need to be concerned. I got back up, but it was like, It still was hitting me in the neck. Yeah, like you have the guard on and stuff. Does the guard protect your neck? It hurt bad. You know, it hurt. Does it cover your neck? Yeah, everything was covered, but it's still like...

1:33:05Fuck, dude. Still taking a puck at like 90 miles an hour to the chest and stuff. Pucks are so hard, too. Yeah, and I played hockey in late grime school and high school. I played hockey. And I started as a roller hockey goalie, but it doesn't... You can't compare the two things. Bro, you ever see some old school photos of the old school goalies with the scars all over their face? Dude, no, they didn't even wear fucking helmets back then. Yeah. It's crazy. They just played without helmets. A puck hits you in the mug on Tuesday. You're done. Yeah. And you got to play again next week. My first ever tryout for ice hockey in high school, it was hard to play hockey back then.

1:33:46There wasn't a lot of like, it was expensive and there wasn't a lot of rinks. We drove like two hours up to like Bear Mountain or some crap, like three hours with my family, my dad, my stepmom. They had to wait in the stands because they can't drop you off and go home because you just drove three hours. So they're watching these tryouts. And it was my first time I ever put ice skates on in my life. I had played roller hockey already, but I never put on ice skates in my life. So it was kind of like you were saying, like just trying to play like left-handed or whatever. I was like, oh, maybe it'll transfer, you know.

1:34:15And I put on these ice skates and it didn't. I was really bad. But, um, uh, someone took a slap shot and it got deflected into the, uh, onto the stands. So whatever. I didn't think anything of that. At the end of the tryouts, I went back, got my glove, got my bag, walked back out. And my, my stepmom was out there with her. I was this big. The ambulance was there. She bleeding black and blue stitches, everything. The puck hit her right in the face during my tryouts. Oh my God. Right in the face. I was like oh my god Her face was this big Blood everywhere She was already black and blue A gash right here Does that happen all the time?

1:35:00To her? To people in the crowd Do people in the crowd get hit? Yeah they had to put up nets because a couple people died Jesus And this is a high school kid That was a high school deflection Imagine the devil taking slap shots at you Yeah. Bro, that's crazy. Yeah. Those guys taking slap shots at you. Could you even react to it? Did you see it coming? Could you see the puck? It was like a split-second battle between whether I would try to actually block it or just wince and take it. Because it was faster than I was prepared for, obviously. Right. Can you skate? Not these days

1:35:51That picture that we've always seen Yeah, it's not real right it's a it's a recreation of all the times he's had stitches in his life But the scars in his face are real what it would look like if 16 years of professional hockey. The problem is, like, the one on the left, you can't really see very good. He's very shadowy. But you can tell he's got scars everywhere. You know, those guys just took it in the face all the time. This says that the first guy wore a mask in 1929. This guy. When did they figure it out? Yeah, look at him. His nose is already busted. He's like, all right, I'm putting a fucking mask on.

1:36:35That guy's probably a genius. He had the mask before he got his nose busted. Really? His nose is actively busted, right? Maybe he put the mask on afterwards. He's like, let me put this thing on. Or maybe he broke his nose with the mask on. If you take a full one to the nose, it's not like it's a smash against your nose. It's going to smash. One of them had the blood going through there. The blood was going through the nose. Oh, God. I guess it's just the whole... Yeah, but dude. That's a hard sport. That is a hard man's sport. And it's the only sport where you're allowed to fight. To this day.

1:37:16Crazy. Just let them have it. It's the weirdest thing. If you think about it. It's just grandfathered in. Yeah. And all the extra precautions now and the CTE stuff and all that stuff. Out the window. It just hasn't even permeated. Yeah. They haven't had a meeting, not a vote. It's just like, no, the guys need to fight. It's crazy. It's part of the sport. Do you feel like it's less fighting now or no? I don't know. I don't watch hockey. I haven't watched in a minute. Yeah. You know, I grew up in Boston. If you said you had to be late, say it in whispered tones. I don't watch hockey because people would get mad at you.

1:37:46There's a big Bruins town. Everybody loved hockey. But for me, I was like, I don't like being cold. So I don't like skating. I don't have time for this. It's a lot. It's involved. But it's a fun sport to watch. It's a really fun sport to watch. It's fast as fuck. You've got to be in really good shape to play hockey. because those guys are just moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving. And it's like this delicate balancing actor doing on metal skates. It's graceful, too. Yeah. Oh, incredibly graceful. As much as it's just, you know, brutal. Sure. Like when you watch a guy like Bobby Orr in his prime, the way he was able to maneuver through people, the movement, it's crazy.

1:38:21Yeah. It's like beautiful swans. Yeah. It's like a dance. It's a dance and a sport at the same time. Really amazing sport when you think about it that way. And then the speed of it, too. It's a fast fucking sport man. Like you cannot be out of shape and play that sport That was the only time I was in my life probably it's fitness man You're constantly kind of sprinting yeah with skates, you know your moves So much core movement and when I did that I skated everywhere like I was roll I played roll hockey first But when I was it when I was like in my like four or five years that I was like obsessed with it I played every day.

1:38:55I roller skated everywhere. Oh wow So you were with that guy out there roller skating on the streets. Yeah, like a wild man. Yeah, well, that's smart That's a great way to keep up those skills Like you're gonna have to walk anyway. You already know how well you can skate why not just skate there? Yeah, it was kind of like skateboarding like why wouldn't I get there like five times faster or whatever the dudes try to knock you over ever When I play hockey no when you're skating You know Because that's a thing. You see a guy with roller skates on, you're kind of tempted to go, fuck this guy. I mean, it wasn't like roller skating on Venice Beach with my headphones.

1:39:34I didn't look like a cornball. But you know, some people, they don't like people in roller skates. When I lived in California, motorcycles were allowed to split the lanes. Oh, really? Yeah, which is crazy. It's really dangerous. But if you have a motorcycle, you can get by in traffic. when everybody else is fucked, you're zipping right through. And I remember one time I watched this guy see this dude coming up beside us, and I moved to the left to give this guy a little room so he could pass, and the dude in front of me moved into the lane on purpose to stop this guy from passing him for no reason at all.

1:40:12And that's going to happen with that too. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't recall really. It was good for my curfew because I used to go to my girlfriend's house My dad was like, you have to be home by like 11. And it was like probably like a couple of miles. And so like. That's a long time to be not running into any bullies. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. There's a few guys out there that would just make that decision. You know, fuck him. Fucking knock him off. I just used to lace him up. And there was actually a huge hill like halfway there. Like I got up to the. Down? Yeah. I mean flying. So I just stand.

1:40:48and I'd be going like I'd probably be going like 30 30 miles an hour if I wiped out it would have been bad and if someone pulled out right was there any cars that could have possibly pulled out it was a service road of a highway and it was late at night so I wouldn't do it if there was cars you're doing it late at night on a service road of a highway you know how crazy that sounds yeah but it wasn't that crazy it wasn't that crazy but I would get home in 5 minutes whereas normally it would have taken me like 15 minutes and you get a nice little workout yeah I gave all that up I remember when I got into the workforce, I was out of college.

1:41:20One of my buddies was like, you want to go shoot the puck around today? I'm like, I haven't done it in five or six years. He's like, let's go. And we went to a little roller rink, a hockey rink there. We skated around for about, it must have been 20 minutes. You know that burn that you get in your throat, like the trachea of the softness when you haven't? Maybe you don't because you're consistently working out. But like when you're not in shape and then you try to play a sport or something and it just feels like your insides are on fire Mmm. Have you felt that not like that? I know I don't I know what you're saying though like almost like you start to like almost like a Cough up like phlegm and stuff.

1:41:56So this is like you know cardio at all. No, nothing I'm a heart attack you're doing that out of like if just like maybe like five years removed Wow Yeah, yeah, just five years of not working out at all and then you try to skate I would imagine And yeah, your body, unfortunately, your body will just fall into a state of disrepair.

1:42:17It's like if you have a house, if you own a home, one of the things you find out as soon as you get your first home is shit breaks all the time. There was always some fucking pipe that breaks. There's this that goes out. There's that that fucks up. The AC's broken. There's always something. You're always, that's the same shit with your body. It's the same shit. and if you put it into a state of disrepair and you don't fix the AC the pipes are bad you don't deal with it, you just let your house flood that's the problem the problem is most of us are like bad landlords that's me we're like slumlords we're slumlords for our body I'm trying to change it you are changing it, don't say trying trying makes it seem like you might quit, you're not going to quit that's right he told me, because I'm going to be here and I'm away from home the next week.

1:43:07He's like, you got to go at least three times and send me pictures of yourself. We can work out here. Yeah? I got a gym right here. Yeah? Yeah, we can work out after the show. I wouldn't want to bring you down, bro. No, we just have a little workout. Just a little something. Yeah. Yeah, if you want to keep doing it, yeah. If you want to keep it up while you're here. The main thing about working out is momentum. It's number one. More than anything else is momentum. And if you lose your momentum, then it's hard. Hard to get going. But once you get going, you get a couple workouts in a row. You're like, ooh, this is it.

1:43:35I do it. This is what I do. Fuck yeah. We're doing it again. Just don't kill yourself. Don't get yourself to when you wake up, you're like, oh, fuck. Yes. Ooh. And you're so sore and you're going to go to the gym right now. That's kind of stupid. Yeah. You really shouldn't. Yeah. Never. Don't. You're not a pro athlete. Don't get yourself to that spot. But as long as you just keep doing it, that's the key. It's just I think that's with almost everything in life. That's what alcoholics say. It's, you know, one day at a time. They just next day, next day, get some momentum. Now I'm not drinking for two years.

1:44:08Now I'm not drinking for five years. I've got all these coins and shit. Yeah. It's the same thing. It's just like we have to just make healthy patterns. And you can do it. You're doing it right now. The next time I come back, I'll be like. It's going to be Jack, son. Shredded. Shredded. We'll have a pose off next time. I'm just looking to live longer. You know who looks good? Shane. See how big you got? No. Shane's been working out here. Yeah? Yeah, Shane has been working out like super regular. He got really into working out. We started doing these comedian's workouts here. And then Shane got my friend Sean to start training him.

1:44:44And Sean goes hardcore. I talked to Shane yesterday, but I haven't seen him. Actually, you know what's so funny? The last picture I saw of him, or not the last picture, but recently I saw he was filming that John Madden movie. Oh, yeah? And that paparazzi took that photo of him in character with the mustache coming out of his trailer. I haven't seen that. I haven't seen that. It was an unflattering shot. He's talked about it. And that's the last thing I really saw. You could probably pull that. You could probably. It's pretty freaking funny. You could see he locks eyes with the photographer just as he's coming out.

1:45:17And it's like he's already meant to look, I think, frumpy from the character. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. That's awesome. He's going to be John Madden. He'd be perfect. Well, he first of all. I don't think he's. Is he Madden? No, I don't think he's Madden. Who is he supposed to be? He's just someone in the Madden universe. Oh, Nick Cage is John Madden. Whoa. Which I can't see at all. Christian Bale's also in the movie as Al Davis. Oh, really? Whoa, whoa. Is there a photo of Nicolas Cage as John Madden? I want to see that. Oh, that's young John Madden. Well, that's Nicolas Cage. Oh, the hair does look like Madden's hair.

1:45:52Yeah, but the face looks like Nicolas Cage, though. No, they did a little something to his face. They did a little something to it. Wait, wait, wait. Didn't they? Wait, how funny is it that he looked at Shane and said that he was John Madden? I thought he was John Madden. Because he's not... I thought he was John Madden. He could pass for him. He could pass. When I first clicked on it, I was like, Shane's John... I said the same thing. That's hilarious. Oh, there it is. Oh, that's it. Oh, yeah, they definitely did some stuff to him. They did some stuff to him. Yeah, he's got like a face thing on.

1:46:23Wow, that's crazy. He looks like him, man. Like even the body, they got the body right. Yeah. That's nuts. That's Christian Bale. Whoa. Oh, is that Christian Bale? That's Christian Bale? Yeah. That's nuts. That guy's a fucking chameleon. Wow. Yeah, that'll be sick. Wow. Biopics, man.

1:46:45Oh, wow. That's cool. What were we just talking about? We're talking about guys getting... Oh, Shane got big. Oh, yeah. He got stout. He must be putting in work then, because I'm also only doing it three days a week because I just started and I don't want to like, you know. I don't know if he's been on it recently because he's about to do tires again. He's like, you know, the boy's busy. I know. The fella's busy. I know, every time I text him. He's out there killing it. I know, because I love it. Love to see it. He's the man. You know what I got shit for after the last time I was on? What? So many people came up to me after the last time.

1:47:22I was like, dude, I saw the Rogan episode and you didn't finish a story. and I'm the amount of people that said this to me I must have been like yeah I started to tell you a story about an experience I had I think with a ghost because I never I didn't believe in ghosts and I start I guess I started to tell and then finish it can I tell you the amount of people that can't do is like what the fuck man you can't start you can't just start it from the end though I know you're gonna have to start anyway so that's how the beginning is retell the beginning of the story because otherwise people gonna go what the fuck is he talking about?

1:47:56Then they'll have to go back and listen to the whole podcast. It was so many people, though, that finally I was like, I swear to God, if I go back on, I will bring it up and I'll try to retell the guy. Let's retell the story. I'm doing this for them. I don't know how great the story is. So we were talking, I was saying hi, I don't believe in them, but I had this experience. I don't know what to make of it. Okay. Okay. So I lived alone at the time, and when I go to sleep at night, I lock my bedroom door It's just something I do. So I locked my door. And I was laying in bed and I had the television on.

1:48:30And a lot of times I'll put the TV on mute but keep the TV on when I fall asleep. It's something I do. So I was telling you how, because I sleep with a CPAP machine, how I would wrap myself up in a cocoon because I had an air source. So it's like a sarcophagus. I put everything over my head. And I tuck in my feet. I swear you just see a tube coming out. it's amazing it's like the sensory deprivation things right right okay that's what it's like okay so i got used to it so anyway i had just i was wide awake i just muted my television and i wrapped myself up like a fucking burrito and i had the c-pap on i'm laying there and i always stick like one foot or one hand out it's just a nice cool breeze it's like a fun little thing to do when you're wrapped up like that right and i had my hand out so this was out and i'm just laying there and I thought I heard something or somebody.

1:49:25I don't know if it was talking or I heard what I thought was like the door open I suppose. Again, wasn't asleep. I wasn't asleep. I was just about to fall asleep. I wouldn't even like... Just laying there. Sure. I didn't sleep and wake up or nothing like that. And I wasn't laying there 20 minutes. It wasn't like that. and I'm laying there and I heard walking or the door or something and so I listened more intently and I didn't hear anything again and then all of a sudden I felt I don't know if it's a hand, whatever you want to call it, pressure squeeze, oh right here on my hand, right? I just felt my hand get squeezed and I what's going on in my mind?

1:50:20is I thought there was an intruder in the house initially, right? So like an intruder came in the house and I know I'm feeling this. I'm like, this all happened in seconds, but I'm thinking, okay, I heard something now this pressure on my hand and it went tighter and tighter. And I'm like, someone is squeezing my hand right now. I have to act like I'm not feeling this because I don't know what's about to happen. But then I started in the same vein. I'm like, if this was a home intruder, why would they do this? It doesn't make any sense to me. Like, So aren't they going to wake me up? Like, wouldn't they try to get in and out?

1:50:52I'm thinking of this in a split second. And the pressure is such that it actually begins to hurt, not hurt like, ow, get off, but like, oh, that's squeezing. And I'm like, all right, I am going to have to jump up and fight right now or something. Something's happening here. And I said, are you awake? Are you awake? And I'm like, I'm awake. I'm awake right now. I'm laying here. I'm looking. I'm feeling my hand. I am fully awake. and I was like I feel like I either have to count to three jump up and get ready to fight or I could I'm vulnerable and I don't know what's going to happen to me I'm not well just take charge of the situation whatever I can right and I just took a breath and I was like all right here I go and I and I uh did they let go they let go I felt the pressure release off my hand and so that's when I was like laying there with it limp and I was like I'm gonna jump up right now and I was whatever happens happens and it was like nerve-wracking and I just jumped up in my bed up as far standing on the bed I like threw the things off and I just like was ready to and there was nothing there on my door how long was something squeezing your hand for um I'll say less than 10 seconds that's a long time yeah maybe yeah maybe like 10 seconds because it was first it was on me and then it It was more pressure and then more pressure and then let go.

1:52:15And then when I jumped up, no one in my room, door locked. And I was like, I'm up. I was up. I was just up. I'm not like sleeping. And it freaked me out. I turned every light on, opened my door, walked around the house. I was like, do I leave? Maybe the aliens thought you were trying to kill yourself. What? Maybe the aliens. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe it was an alien came down like, hey, buddy. Because I was wrapped up. You're right underneath. Because I was wrapped up? You're wrapped up with a tube coming out? He's like, this guy might be offing himself. We've never seen this before. I want an explanation.

1:52:47They're like, when the people sleep, they never sleep with their head covered. We need to get in. And they just went in and just grab his hand. We need Sal to stay alive. It definitely looks weird from the outside when I sleep. If you saw a picture of it, it looks like, what the fuck's going on? Shane was telling us a story the other night about how he had like a... You know they talk about sleep paralysis demons? Yeah. He had an experience like that. I heard of sleep paralysis, not demons. He had an experience of a thing standing over his bed with a white face. And he couldn't move. This happened to Shane?

1:53:17Yes. And I go, dude, you got abducted by an alien. No, he said he was sober. Really? He was younger. Yeah, I think he said he was 23 or 24 when it happened. Yeah, okay. I go, dude, you got abducted. I think the aliens came. Oh, shit. Yeah. I think that's what he was seeing. I think he was waking up from it and there was one right there and they had him paralyzed yeah I don't know why you know why an alien would be in my bedroom well I think there's aliens that monitor a lot of people if they're real and there's a lot of stories had they get in though because that little thing just close they could just appear they go through right through walls apparently doesn't matter I think if they've let if they've reached a level of technological superiority where they could travel instantaneously through vast distances in space, which is what they think they're able to do, like able to bend gravity and just reappear on the other side, they just go right through your wall, bro.

1:54:16Okay. Why are they playing with my fingers? Because they like you. They're bending time and space. They're traveling and they get to my little one-bedroom apartment and they stand in there and watch me with my CPAP and then squeeze my three fingers? Maybe they like your sense of humor and they would like you to stay around and they think you're a positive contribution to the culture and they don't want to mess up the delicate balance of the human race. They need more funny people. Maybe that's it. It makes no sense though, right? Of course it doesn't make sense. UFOs don't make sense. Aliens don't make sense.

1:54:50I don't mean that. Ghosts don't make sense either. I don't mean that. Someone grabbing your hand doesn't make sense. Yeah. No, it doesn't make sense. But it just, it sucks that I'll never have an answer. Well, it could have been just a spasm. And one thing that could happen is your hand could have locked up for whatever weird reason. Because it happens all the time. It could happen with your foot. It could happen with your leg. But I know what it feels like to be locked up. This felt as pure as can be, like this doing this. You ever be watching TV with your wife and you start snoring and she goes, were you asleep?

1:55:21And you're like, no. Yeah. But you really were? Yeah. Do you think maybe you thought you were awake, but you were like right there? I mean, you're in the only explanation. I got a tube in your mouth. You get the CPAP. You're wrapped up like a mummy. And then something's grabbing your hand. Maybe you're dreaming. That thing would have been probably scared when I jumped out with the mask. No, but or aliens. But but but here's the thing. I really took inventory before I jumped up to fight. Like I was like, I am awake. I am feeling this. I am not sleeping. I know I were feeling the pressure on you yes like I was saying myself I'm one hunt you are 100 % awake like this is happening to you right now yeah fucking what aliens or ghosts Ghosts is what I thought but Yeah, maybe what's the point?

1:56:10Well ghosts seem to be in places where people die violently Like the comedy store is a good example that the comedy store used to be zero's nightclub so it was owned by Bugsy Siegel so for sure somebody got whacked and there was also talk that they used the basement to do illegal abortions there's a lot of folklore around that place because it was a mob run nightclub they're going to have to start doing that again soon but so many people that worked there over the years that I was there so many people that were like late night bartenders or a security guy. So hard, hard experience. Yeah, they all had weird, a few comics, a few comics that were like reliable, reasonable people had bizarre experiences.

1:57:02Carl LeBeau was asleep on stage. He said, he got kicked out of his house. Him and his wife got in a fight. Fuck you, I'm gonna make it. You know, his girlfriend at the time, I think, I don't even think it was the same person, but anyway, he's at the comedy store sleeping on the stage and he hears the seats clink around in the dark, like something's moving the seats. And he goes, Hey, it's me, Carl. I got kicked out of my house, so I'm just sleeping on the stage. He doesn't hear anything. And then all of a sudden, something grabs his ankle and drags him off the stage onto the floor and starts pulling him through the crowd and then just lets go.

1:57:36And then he hears a door slam and then another door slam on the outside. And he's laying in the middle of the comedy store main room. There's no people there. He has no idea what the fuck happened. He didn't see anything. He just felt something grab him and drag him off the stage and into the crowd. And he never, he wasn't like a guy who'd made things up. He didn't have any other stories like that. But it's not like one of the workers or another comic fucking with him? No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so. They would have definitely told him after a while. And also I don't think so because he didn't see them.

1:58:08Like he was like, I didn't see anyone grab me. He's like, it's dark in there, but it's not perfect darkness. Right he's like I didn't see whatever grabbed me and pulled me off the stage It's like maybe they didn't like someone staying the night there Maybe that's their time like you want to do all your bullshit during the day with your bookkeeping and then at nighttime with your stupid jokes But once you guys leave it becomes the ocean. It's mine You just get to see a place where a bunch of people died Damn yeah, there's a lot of there's a lot of suicide there right at the store No, there was just one.

1:58:46That store at the hotel next door? The guy jumped off the roof. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was during the days where the comics weren't making any money. So what is this? The Comedy Store, the popular nightclub. So what does it say? One of the snazziest nightclubs during the 40s and the 50s. Built by nightclub impresario William Wilkerson in the late 1930s, Ciro's offered top entertainment and a swanky hangout for Hollywood stars and other high-profile people, including gangster Mickey Cohen, who used the club as his base of operations and had peepholes drilled into walls so he could see who was coming and going.

1:59:22While dancing, drinking, and dining went upstairs, Ciro's basement with the sight of darker doings. Mob henchmen beat, tortured, and killed those who did not repay debts, owned competing clubs, betrayed trusts, or crossed the mob in some way. Pregnant showgirls and mob girlfriends received illegal abortions with at least one woman dying from her abortion. Waitstaff, security guards and office workers are reported seeing a frightened man in a World War II bomber jacket who fades upon sighting. What? A huge black phantom in the basement and a man in his 1940s garb walking around the premises and through walls.

2:00:02They have heard a woman wailing in the basement when no one was there have experienced strange pranks such as chairs stacking themselves in the in the middle of the stage and perfectly set tables becoming unset Yeah, everybody that I knew that worked there for a long period of time had something weird happen But a few guys saw things like one of the guys, I forget his name, man. It was like an old school comic that was hanging around there, said that one night when he was a doorman, he was going into the back bar area. And some guy, he saw some guy walk through the swinging doors, you know, because there's like two sets of swinging doors.

2:00:42So he walks in and as he's walking in, he sees this guy go through the other set. He's like, hey, we're closed. and he goes out into the hallway, dead empty. I mean, instantaneously goes from seeing the guy walk through to, hey, man, we're closed. There's a long hallway, and there's no one. No one ran, no one nothing. He's like, dude, I saw a guy. He pushed open the fucking saloon doors. And it's not just him. Multiple people have had weird stories like that. And I always wonder, like, if someone dies in some horrific way like that that's like very violent maybe it leaves like a memory maybe it leaves like a stain of what you know like the the universe force the peace love force of the universe is so disrupted by this vile act that it leaves this stamps out like yeah this haunted memory that exists in the space because like they have to tell you if someone was murdered in a house they do yeah oh i didn't know that i think there's a timeline you know like you can't say 1920 someone was murdered yeah because someone was murdered at our club someone was murdered in our club in the 70s no shit wow yeah i forget the story but the point is like if you buy a house like they have to tell you they have to disclose it yeah not every state not every state some states california does but texas it says it's not we don't believe in that down here we just bring in jesus i'm doing this bit because my um many states there's no duty to disclose a death oh so it's only california and Alaska.

2:02:17What states make you? Texas and Florida do not have to have a general duty for deaths unrelated to the property's condition. What if like a wall is splattered? What if it's like a... Because I am... How many states make you tell? Those are the ones believe in crystals right doesn't it doesn't it make sense uh alaska california and south dakota only three states that's nuts there's just a timeline too oh in california uh three years and in south dakota they 12 months get over it 12 months that's so funny oh a suicide too in Alaska they haven't listed as suicide as well that's interesting what is the point of the 12 months life moves on Sal we don't have to let you know if it's more than 12 months ago that's actually shocking I would have thought it would have been way more than that that's crazy I just recently when my wife was not home for a few days when we were having the baby and everything and I had to come home because I had work and I had to take care of my other daughter and stuff and I was never in bed without my wife there it was the first time I was laying in bed without her that's when they come get you that's when they get you right because she can't defend you this is a new bit I'm doing based on something that happened to us so you know I'm on the road now all the time for comedy she experiences that but I don't And I was like, oh, this is, I feel vulnerable.

2:04:00Like, what if, like, I'm thinking about it, like, what if an intruder or a killer or something like that, you know? Right. So I'm thinking to myself, well, what's she going to do if she's here? She's not going to do anything. Right. And I started to think, well, her being home is just a false, it's the illusion of security for me. She might yell, alert me to the killer. Just need one extra second. Yeah. Get your shit together. She might yell, alert me that that can help, or the killer might kill her and I get away. I don't want that to happen, but that's just like what could happen. She's not there.

2:04:29I'm like, I need something in this house. I don't have anything. So I didn't think anything of this, but I Amazon primed the machete to the house, right? So it came the next day. She didn't come home until three days later. So I had the machete in the house now. Like I felt better, but I wasn't going to get a gun. I just, you know, whatever. I think I couldn't get a gun that quick anyway, right? So I don't even know if it's, whatever. So I get this machete. I have it in the, we have the king size bed. It's a split king. So I had it like in the crack of the bed. So when she came home three days later, she got home at night.

2:05:04She hadn't been home in like six days. She took a shower. She had major surgery. She was healing. She just got in bed and it was already late at night. And so I was in bed and like I went in bed with her and we shut the lights and I was laying out. I forgot that I didn't tell her that I ordered a machete. I forgot that it was in between the bed. So she felt it. and she's like what is this and I just was like I knew she wasn't going to be happy about it so it's just like you know that's our machete we got a machete, Amazon Prime the machete and she's like you're not keeping the machete long story short, when I was laying there without her for a few days I was like this is not a good weapon because I'm going to end up, if an intruder comes I'm going to machete them and then we can't live here anymore you have to move if you get into a machete fight with someone and you chop them up you have to move right away pretty much you don't stay the next day and so I already started thinking how do I sell this house then if I hit someone with a machete in here they die right here that's bad for the listing but I don't have to disclose it now now that I learned I don't have to disclose it because I was having an internal conflict Just hold on to it for a year or do it in one of those states.

2:06:24I don't have to. In New York, you don't have to tell anybody anything, right? Is that what it said? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So what were the states? I was worried about it. If they ask, though, you have to say it. Oh, you got to disclose. Oh, that's a good move. It's like, are you a cop? That's a good move. It's like, are you a cop? Remember when people thought that was real? Yeah. That is the dirtiest trick they ever pulled in movies. Did you machete anyone here? No. You know if you machete someone, you have to tell us. Oh, you got me. I'm an undercover cop. Yeah, that's funny, man. It is funny when you really stop and think about it because that's such a crazy idea.

2:06:56That you have to. That you have to tell them. They lie about everything. Like guys that infiltrate the mob. Those kind of guys. Imagine if you have to tell. Are you an undercover cop? That's so funny. Oh, you got me. That blows deep cover. It's like Tony Brasco. Joe Pistone. I had Joe Pistone on the podcast. Did you? Yeah, recently. He's amazing. He's 18 months in deep on the cover, and one of the guys is like, are you a cop? Yeah, imagine. Because if you say no, and you really are, the case gets thrown out. Could you imagine? Imagine if that was the rule. That's the dumbest rule ever. That's just like some type of lore or something.

2:07:36Yeah, it's just like something they probably did on a TV show once. Yeah, you know you've got to tell me. And people believed that. When I was a kid, I remember people saying that. If you're buying weed, and the guy says that he's a cop, he can't arrest you. You've got to ask him. Same. It's bullshit. It's complete bullshit. Complete made up stuff. But that's just one of those things you would hear when you were a kid. Yeah. You know? Before the internet. You didn't get a chance because we just checked to see the truth. I thought it was real. Like I felt, not that I was doing anything that would have warranted me having to ask, but like I did feel like a sense of like, oh, I got something in my back pocket.

2:08:08If something's like, if I don't know, you know, like if I'm at a party underage drinking, you know. You might be able to pull that out and rescue yourself. Oh, you got me. Get out of here, kid. The best is the follow-up where if the cop says no and everyone's like, you know you have to tell me if you are. What was that from? Like then the cop came, oh, okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. I forgot I had to tell you. I forgot. What's the origin of that? I don't know. That's so funny. Do you think that was like a television show or a movie or something? I bet it was. I bet it was like a tool that they used Or maybe it was like a CIA Op to get people to think that They would be able to use that anytime So they don't worry about doing illegal shit Psyops feel like the good answer for everything Although it was probably an episode of like Matlock Or something like that Psyops also account for your hand grip Somebody gripping your hand Some remote viewer reached out Some CIA basement fucking focused on your hand And squeezed it Do you know I only learned the term Psyop With the drones recently Oh, really?

2:09:09Yeah, I never heard of it before. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. You never heard of psychological operations that are done on not just this civilization, but others? No, I never heard. I mean, at least framed as a psyop. And then I was like, what is that? And I was like, you know, because with the drones, man, I was, if that was a psyop, I was fully psyoped. Well, I don't know what that was, you know, because they were going to tell us supposedly and then they kind of just didn't. Yeah. No, I was waiting every day. Trump was like, when I'm in, I'm going to give you the full download immediately. It's ridiculous.

2:09:42I'll let you guys know what's going on specifically. And then it was, he said, then he never addressed. Then someone else said to him, like, hey, what was going on with those drones? Remember, you're going to tell us? And he was like, they're ours. And that's all he said. That was like five weeks. I was watching drones outside my window every night. I had binoculars. Like my wife's like, go to bed. You're gonna drive yourself crazy. I'm like this this 12 drones outside right now. Yeah, you can't Discount the idea that they're not telling you the truth Yeah, but they might have been ours too. That's the problem.

2:10:19It might have been someone else's that doesn't mean anything Yeah, but it doesn't mean it but it's weird how the administration before him refused to say anything and let it get to a fever pitch Where people started to feel like completely like not that then I don't trust the government already But like it got to a point where I was like, this is – how are they allowed to just tell us, oh, you're not – that's not what you're seeing. Like it just was like – I was getting like really – because now you think differently with kids and stuff like that. I'm like, what's going on here? I started like – I started Amazon-ing like dry foods and like survival manuals and stuff.

2:10:57I'm like, what is – are we going to go to war? Like what is going on? So there's a bunch of different possibilities, right? And all of them, they don't have to be truthful about it, nor would they be. If it's a national security issue, it'd probably be better if they weren't truthful because people would freak out. It's also the potential that they are ours and they did them on purpose to see how people would respond. Right. So that's possible, too. Right. It's also possible that they're not ours and there's someone else who's flexing on us and they're doing it in a way where they're showing you we have technological superiority.

2:11:31Our stuff is way more advanced than yours. And if there would be a culprit in that regard, in my mind, it would be China. Right. That's what I thought at first. China is so far ahead of the United States in drone technology. They're so far ahead of the United States in electric car technology. Yeah. Like they're doing some wild stuff over there. They make, I mean, at least Taiwan does, makes all the semiconductor chips or a lot of them. There's a lot of electronics that are being manufactured over there. They have a very high level of sophistication for their engineering and all the design and all the stuff they're doing.

2:12:03They're doing some— Renewable energy. They're light years. Yeah. Singapore. Light years ahead of us. I think we're sleeping on how far advanced they are with certain stuff. They do drone shows that will fucking blow you away. They have synchronized drones that do like stories in the sky. Have you ever seen them the Chinese drone shows? I've seen like just light drone shows here where they like they form like an image or something like this is the thing about Regulations regulations are good. You don't want a bunch of drones flying around slamming into planes, right? But the problem is if you Only allow someone to fly these very sophisticated drones if they have a pilot's license And then you regulate everything the way they do in America and then you say you can't make this and you can't make that and we can't have this And you can't have that you're stifling innovation while in China.

2:12:51They're going hog wild So they're not even thinking about regulating They're making the best stuff they can make all the time and they have the best minds that they can have Working on them right they have to right go make me a fucking drone army, right? Jamie pull up like the dragon one when they had the dragon in the sky Dude their shit is so far beyond what we're doing. I know and that's why I thought and there was out there that that was them And I was it could easily be that but then Trump was just like it's just us It's us maybe that's what you have to say because if you say that China's flexing on us.

2:13:26Oh my god Yeah, dude Oh my god, they have insane and this isn't even the craziest one. They have other ones that are even crazier Like these things are not oh my god Exactly. That's all independently flown? Yeah, 100%. Like every single one of those lights is independent? Every single one of those is independent. They're all different drones, and they all are moving to the sink of some program they created. Oh, my God. It's unbelievable, man. And that's just the pretty stuff, right? Now, imagine if they're doing that, what kind of military stuff do they have? What kind of stuff do they have that can block signals?

2:14:01What kind of stuff do they have that maybe has some sort of a novel power source or a novel battery supply? Right. My friend saw one of them that just hovered overhead. He said this thing just hovered. He said it was as big as a fucking school bus, and it was just hovering above his head in New Jersey. And he was like, what the fuck is that? They were like the size of cars. And he said it wasn't a helicopter. It wasn't loud. Yeah. And then it took off. And some of them, they said when they were going after them, they shut their lights off and evaded pursuit. Yes. They put jamming signals out so you couldn't find their location.

2:14:35They were doing weird stuff. So if that is ours, then they're trying like look if you're gonna do a real military exercise That's how you would do it if you're gonna if you you're gonna say okay, we're gonna we're gonna plan this out But we're not gonna let the pilots know what's going on We're gonna start flying these things over and seeing how these jets interact with them in a real-world environment Tell them not to shoot give very distinct orders either not to be shot down Because we're not gonna do anything hostile with these drones Let's see how good they are at finding them tracking them.

2:15:04Let's like pressure test the system Right. So if they're ours, I would say that would be a good way to do it. Yeah. I mean, it seems a little unethical. Yeah. But you also get two things at the same time. You get the little psychological thing where you get to see how bad people freak out. Some people might freak out. Please look at my phone. Do whatever you want. Right. Set an Alexa in my toilet. Do whatever you want. Right, right, right. Just protect me from the drones. Yeah. So you can find out how people react to the UFO craze. And then you can also find out how well our drones are at evading modern warplanes.

2:15:37Alexa in the toilet's not a bad idea as well Don't sell yourself short You're going to have robots in your house that talk to you all day And report what you say to the government I do that now I do that now, I finally did chat I did chat, I was telling you I did chat GPT finally, I was like I'm not going to do this, I'm not going to do this, I really don't want to do this And I was like I also don't want to be left behind It's going to be inevitable And it's not just going to be inevitable I mean there's going to be versions of it that are going to achieve things that The greatest human minds could even believe yeah, couldn't even believe would be possible within our lifetime That's what I think I think it's going to get to a point when they have artificial general super intelligence and it's what is it?

2:16:232049 what's the year they think it's gonna achieve? Like it's peak intelligence. There's like Estimations like a lot of these guys they point is it 2045 or 2049? There's like the Kurzweil guys Didn't because that was that conference that Ari and I and Duncan went to back in the day. That was Kurzweil's thing I think was 2049 So if at 2049 like what does the AI look like then it's like some Super creature some new type of life form, you know Some new super intelligent thing that we made Yeah, and that's when the aliens land and went finally they go finally you guys made it 2040 and 2050 with some placing a 50 % probability around this time frame predictions range widely With some entrepreneurs and AI leaders being more optimistic suggesting dates in the 2030s or even late 2020s While others expected closer to mid-century or later Nah But that's scary.

2:17:25Yeah, I'm using it now. I just talked I paid the 20 bucks and I I named I asked I gave her a female voice whatever right this is fun though I mean at least I'll have fun while I can with it and I just said what's your name and she said just chat just chat she put you I'm like can I call you stank ass just off the top I was like I'll call you stank ass and she was like she goes it's a bit crass but I get why it's funny sure so i was like cool can you just call me big pimping whenever you talk to me and she's like all right and i was like and whenever we speak no matter what i'm asking can you please speak in 90s hip-hop vernacular and she's like yeah so now that's just how like if i'll ask her something she's like yo what up big pimping she's like let me get you that you know let me get you those uh whatever she's like let me find you a hydration tablet that's in the you know hey check it out do you know how many guys are doing that why you know how many guys are like falling in love with girls that they have ai girlfriends that's that's and i mean that's yeah that's fucked up but that's there's no doubt that's gonna happen wait wait a second

2:18:39hey stanky ass you there yo big pimping i'm right here vibing with you what you need just hit me up and we'll keep it all hip-hop and smooth like that's hilarious that's so funny that's as far as i've gotten now that's going to be a person in your house one day that's going to to be a person in your house, a really hot one in like a maid's outfit. Not if I have anything to do with this. Not you, but some guy out there listening. He's going to be talking to Big Pimp and we're going to be in the Matrix in five years. Every time I come, I can't leave here with a full-blown new set of anxieties. I can't do it.

2:19:14You're going to need them. You're going to need those anxieties for when society falls. I can't. You're going to need to learn to use that bow and arrow. It's going full hunger, kid. How about instead of the gym, How about instead of the gym, you just take me a little bow and arrow practice? Just a little bit. Just get it to eat. Well. Just give me enough. Like if someone's running on my lawn, I could just take them out. There's no such thing as a little. Someone can show how you do it once. But if you want to learn like a traditional bow and arrow setup, I'm not the guy to do that. Because the machete's not going to go that far.

2:19:43The machete, also the grip. I don't like how close it is to the blade. I don't like that. I don't like that either. Yeah. I don't like that. Although I did watch two guys in a machete fight in the streets. And one guy chopped the other guy's hand off. And the other guy picked his hand up and left. Yeah. Yeah, that's on Instagram. Tom Segura sent me that one. He picked it up and left? Chopped his fucking hand right off, and that dude looked down, grabbed his hand, and left. He's like, I guess this fight's over. I just lost a hand. Let me pick up my hand and fucking ski-daddle. I mean, what do you think there?

2:20:14I mean, I guess this is better than dying? I guess. He took the hand. He's optimistic. Yeah, I mean, maybe they could stitch it back on. Your hand gets chopped off. You don't run. You get the hand. Let's talk about the caliber of doctors available in a place where you can get your hand chopped off in a machete fight in the street. Right. Right in front of a taco vendor. Yeah. The veterinarian. You got to find a white page. Don't play it. Don't play it. Jesus Christ. I wanted to see it. Okay. Play it. Do I watch this? Son of a bitch. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah, dude. Oh my God, dude.

2:20:50See that guy already doesn't have a hand see oh my god. No, I don't see and I don't want to see See how he runs off. He's missing his fucking hand. He's like I said unleaded bro. Those guys hacked each other apart with machetes So look he's missing his fucking hand look at him He's like where's your hand? Oh, it's over here, bro. And so this dude runs over and picks up his Fucking Oh my god dude grabs his hand okay we're done please stop Jamie why Jamie come why did you I mean he had to be in shock right cuz he was he was he looked composed or that happens normally in his neighborhood you know probably a bunch of one-handed dudes out there running around how many times without reattached before this he strolled up to that I know he strolled up to it freak He didn't get it at all.

2:21:44Yeah. He had to be in shock. That was the most non... It was like he was picking up a quarter. Yeah. He's obviously not a healthy individual. His life circumstances are not the best. You're in a machete fight in the middle of the street. The two of them. Yeah, it's nuts. And it wasn't like they were in the jungle. They were at a gas station. Crazy decision to make. What could they have been fighting over? Probably a chick. Just the first... So isn't it? The first loss of a machete fight hand gives me seven different cases. No! Don't show me anymore, Jamie. They're not off video, but it talks about it happening in different places.

2:22:16Of course it has. I mean, imagine what life was like when people were sword fighting all the time. Yeah. That was a normal thing to carry around a sword everywhere. A lot of people had no... I bet it was very common to see people without limbs. Oh, yeah. Like it was nothing. People missing half their face. Yeah. Yeah. What did they do back then? Quarterize it or something? Like, how did they... He probably died. Yeah. Yeah. I bet he got infected. Yeah. You know, they didn't even know how to wash things back then. So as soon as you, you know, you get any kind of horrible injury, you're going to get an infection.

2:22:45I just learned how George Washington died. Did you hear about this? No. You never heard about how he died? No, how did he die? It's pretty fucked up. He caught a common cold and then thought that he needed to, um, he needed to get his blood sucked out of him. What? And so he got people to put leeches on him and the leeches were just sucking the blood out of him. And it was like, it was like a cold. and then he got infected and he basically caught he went out in the rain or something like that and got a cold and then it was a common cold and he put leeches on him, they sucked out his blood and then he was losing blood and then he ended up doing more stuff to himself, he basically killed himself Jesus, it's just a common cold?

2:23:32it was a cold, yeah how did he know it was just a cold? I just long as time ago. Yeah, well, uh, that's what the research says. I mean because on the show we made my buddy Maybe this is the anti-leech lobby We reenacted his debt So there was like a there's a walking tour in New York City like a historical tour and it ends at Francis Tavern Which is the oldest bar and that's where Washington hung out So we dressed them as Washington at the end of this tour and we put leeches on him. Oh god But we pulled it from the actual story. It's kind of wild that is wild And that's what killed them fucking leeches and extracted a half a pint of blood.

2:24:10Oh God a guy did so Rollins Extracted half a pint of blood Washington favored this treatment despite Martha's voice concern should listen to Martha bro as he believed it cured him of past ailments Washington was also given to a mixture of molasses Butter and vinegar to soothe his throat this mixture was difficult to swallow causing Washington to convulse and nearly suffocate Jesus and the sicker he got the sicker he got the more he thought it was the blood so he kept telling him to add leeches Yeah A solution of vinegar and sage tea prepared for gargling He was bled for the fourth and final time it was later reported the turtle of 32 ounces of blood was extracted during the last bleeding Some in the press criticized the practice of bloodletting used in an attempt to save Washington's life Isn't that crazy that bloodletting which is fucking terrible for you They used to think that that was a good thing back then That is nuts just drain all the blood out of himself.

2:25:12Why did it who is the fucking genius in? 1775 or whatever it was what what year did he die? Had to be after that right it's like 1799 like who who's the wizard who's that the top he but He commanded it. Who was the Anthony Fauci of bloodletting? It's both safe and effective. And he got poor George, believed in the hype. Yeah, he had multiple doctors. But somebody must have told him to do that. It wasn't his idea. And he kept thanking them, too. He was being gracious through it all, being like, thank you so much for helping me. That's so crazy. Five in the afternoon, Washington sat up from bed, dressed, and walked over to his chair.

2:25:54He returned to bed within 30 minutes. Craig went to him and Lear reported that Washington said, Doctor, I die hard, but I am not afraid to go. I believe from my first attack that I should not survive it. My breath cannot last long. Soon afterwards, Washington thanked all three doctors for their service. Craig remained in the room. At 8 at night, more blisters and cataplasms were applied, this time to Washington's feet and legs. Is that what a leech is, a cataplasm? I think so. At 10 at night, George Washington spoke requesting to be decently buried and to not let my body be put in the vault in less than three days after I am dead.

2:26:33Huh. Maybe he just wanted to go. You know? It also could have been like, think about that guy. How many guys did that guy hack to death? You know? Yeah. During the Revolutionary War. Like what shit did he see? A lot of machetes. How many muskets to the face did he see, you know, and he was at the front line like that fucking animal waded into battle Yeah, you know, I stop what at that time and it's like he's probably like just take my fucking blood 1899 how old was he when he died? All right, yeah, 1799 rather how old was he?

2:27:17Yeah, bro, he was done. He was probably done He's probably done. I stopped watching Game of Thrones after season six just because I couldn't bear to see one more slit throat. And you see what that guy went through. He's like, yeah. I know. Game of the White Wedding got me. I was like, am I really invested in this show? I stopped. I don't know what happens after. Like The Walking Dead when they baseball batted that dude in the head? I was like, I'm out. Yeah, I only watched like - They killed Glenn with a baseball bat. Season two or three I only did. No, you know what it was for me in Game of Thrones?

2:27:49they put like a little girl at the stake and burned her at the stake. That was like the end of season six. I was like, why am I watching this? Like it's just, it's not entertainment to me. This is like, this is like disturbing to me. That show at times was very horrific. Yeah. Very horrific. But also fucking awesome. Yeah, it was intense. It was intense. It was like really, it's a classic. But I don't, I didn't care. I was like I can't watch another slit throat. I know. But there were some cool moments though that you get past the slit throats there were some moments where uh khaleesi had that dragon behind her and you didn't see the dragon until like a couple of seconds before it burned the person she's talking to this person and she i don't i forget what they had been guilty of yeah but she's standing there and then in the darkness behind her slowly you just see this dragon emerge yeah this enormous head that's right behind her it's one of the fucking coolest scenes in any show ever.

2:28:45It's all drones. And then it torches them. It looks so realistic. That's what's so crazy about CGI. It was good to see all those characters get their comeuppance. Everybody got their comeuppance. That was the craziest thing about that show. Everybody died. I mean, the brother got his hand hacked off, and you're like, what the fuck? He's got no hand. When that dude got killed by the mountain, they crushed his head like a grape. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. It's about the treatments they gave George Washington. Other treatments they gave him during that period were enemas and drugs to make him vomit and something called blisters where they applied spanish fly onto his throat which caused a painful blister again to remove these terrible humors that are caused by the inflammation humors maybe it should biolics like tumors could have been oh maybe tumors that were caused by the inflammation that doesn't make any sense tumors but if the disease itself didn't get george washington the doctor certainly did yeah man he probably wanted to go he didn't have a disease though he had just a cold and it just was all of these things blisters and the suffocating him with the molasses and the bleaches and everything it's like i didn't know that i had no idea every time he closed his eyes he probably saw a fucking bayonet through some guy's eyeball that he did yeah he probably saw some dude's head that he bashed against a rock he probably saw some other dude that he fucking battle axed in the head but they were all like i know but it's like no one knew what ptsd was back then yeah no one you know even in vietnam They used to call it shell shocked.

2:30:12Yeah. No one knew what PTSD was. And this guy had to have all of it. Right. You know, he had all of it. I mean, plus wooden teeth. Slaves teeth, bro. He had slaves teeth and horse teeth in his mouth in a lead mold. Shane has a hilarious bit about it. Oh, when he went to go visit the. About the visiting the George Washington Museum. It's a hilarious bit. But the teeth are the creepiest looking fucking things you've ever seen. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Oh, dude. Yeah. It was so creepy. They just made this concoction, the stick in his fucking face, where they pulled all the rest of his teeth out and gave him this just full on set of fake teeth.

2:30:48Really? Oh, it looks insane. Like, how bad was gum health back then that this guy had to get a full set of fake teeth? I can't even imagine being back then and having a conversation. Oh, God, the breath. Just having a conversation with someone. Oh, just. It's just a different time, man. Well if someone saw you walking down the street and they liked your shoes They would just kill you and take your shoes just kill you they would look at your feet See if they're close to their feet just fucking kill you yeah, Washington couldn't wear Jordans anywhere. No Jordans no, well, that is kind of happening today That way yeah certain places.

2:31:22I didn't think about it that way But Life is definitely way more barbaric than Way more barbaric. What's the most we put up with now really really well for now not bad But when the robots come John Connor tried to warn us It's wild to watch those movies right now I know those are kind of accurate super accurate like disturbingly accurate Like him. We're just waiting right into it. Like oh, we're gonna be fine. This is fine. We're all talking about it I forgot to tell you this when you were telling me about the scuba diving stuff my buddy Adam Greentree He was free free diving and these guys mate, you know, they have those really long flippers the free divers Yeah, yeah, that's what they're called right flippers fins.

2:32:08That's what I was saying. I didn't know These fucking guys made him this really cool pair and painted them fish scales And so no, it's not dope because he swims in a place where they have sharks So he spearfishing he shoots this fish and these bull sharks show up because apparently so many people spearfish that the sharks have figured out that the sound of that gun going off means there's gonna be blood in the water and a wounded fish and they could steal it from the people and so as he shot the fish these bull sharks show up and they bite his fucking fins off both of his fins but just the fins just the fins because they think the fin is a fish hole they don't know what the fuck he is but they think his fins are a fish because they've got fucking scales I'm I'm sure the fish helmet didn't help either.

2:32:59No. Did he have it? He had gills and shit. He was dressed as a fish. Imagine that's your next thing they make you do after they hear this. Sal, we got something. We heard you like scuba diving. They just, we talked about this last time, but I'm not good with jump scares. We talked about this. I'm just not good with it. They threw me in the horn as we talked about this. Right, right. So we just wrapped season 12. Oh, so one of the last things, it's kind of my fault because we were going to do this to Q. We were going to put him in a demolition derby and stuff and then have him not be able to finish until he canceled his cable.

2:33:34So insurance wouldn't let us do the demolition derby. So now we're in Halloween time. They found this place in Jersey that's like a warehouse that they do. It's an insane haunted house. It's like these people come in and get into makeup like two hours before. It's like a really crazy one. they put me in this thing and I was on a live feed with an operator and I could not leave the haunted house until I cancelled my phone internet and cable so I was in it for 42 minutes oh that's ridiculous the first thing that happened was it went live on the feed so I'm hearing it I'm walking through a fucking warehouse it was so insane the first thing comes out and says, we are experiencing unusual traffic.

2:34:22You have a 12 to 17 minute wait time. Oh, God. So I'm going through the haunted house. Well, that would make me calm down. After you get scared a few times, I get it. No. No? No. What do you mean you get it? What do you get? I get it. People coming after you the whole time. Yeah, but after a while, I'd get used to it. No? No. It got worse? It was like... Did it ramp up? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was like a warehouse it was like i never was in i was never in the same room twice for 40 minutes it was like a huge huge place and so you didn't know themes changed and demons changed and everything sounds fun it wasn't fun for me i'll tell you i this is an error in hindsight i shouldn't have done this but i i needed to know because i said to them i said look i just need if i'm really like if i need to breathe for a second if you're really messing with me and i need for real for it to stop i need you to let me know truthfully that you'll stop because I can't do this.

2:35:18My nervous system is going to be out of whack. It just is how I respond to this stuff. And so they said, yes, but I didn't believe them because I've had this happen in the past. Like we fuck with each other and we don't tell the truth. So I brought a taser with me because I or a stun gun. I brought one with me in there because it made me feel at least if I felt that I needed one of these people to back off from me and I took out the tase. You would tase them? An employee? No, I wouldn't tase them. But I had it on me. You showed them to scare it to them? I did. To scare them with it? And it came out.

2:35:56It came out. Really? Yes, because after the 17-minute wait time, this guy came on. And you have to think about this. I thought he was going to continually hang up on me because I'm in a haunted house. like he's screaming and there's music and I'm screaming, I'm running around. So I said, as soon as he picked up, I said, just listen to me, please. And I'm being dead serious. I have to cancel my cable right now and I'm in a haunted house. And there's no other time I could do it. This is not a joke. I need to stay on the phone with you so you're going to hear screaming and me screaming and things happening.

2:36:26But please don't hang up on me, please. And the guy goes, I understand. So he stayed on the line with me. He picked up, it was like 14 minutes. So by the time I was like 30, 35 minutes in and they said these people weren't going to touch me and they did. And like I just my nervous system was completely shot. They weren't supposed to touch you? No. What did the guy do? They were grabbing me, running up to me, jumping from behind, like all that stuff like that. And so I was like, part of me thought that it might be a little funny, but also like they wouldn't come near me if I was going, you know, like, so I was like, this is my way.

2:37:02And I took it out and I did it. And I didn't realize, though, like that, like afterward, I found out that the guy that owns a place they were watching on the closed circuit televisions. And he freaked out because like he's like, well, he has a taser. Like, what is he? You can't. He can't do that. Like, you know, those people, they're supposed to still come at me. But like when I but they played it really cool. They were just like, you know, like they were like surrounding me and everything. And I was like just hitting the taser on him. But I put it away after a few minutes. But it did give me a respite that they weren't going to give me.

2:37:36But after I canceled the cable, it happened sooner than they thought, so they were like, cancel phone. Then after I canceled phone, they ended up canceling internet. So I stayed on with this guy, canceled phone, internet, and cable. It took 42 minutes. But I had it. I had the taser, and sometimes you've got to take it into your own hands. I understand. So I did. I did. It would have really sucked if you... actually tasered somebody though. I had enough miracle to not do it. No. Don't you want to know what it feels like when you have one? I've been shocked really bad by large dog shock collars.

2:38:17Yeah. So I guess I don't know if that's the same. What is the difference between a dog shock collar and a taser? But there's also different kinds of tasers, right? There's like really powerful tasers. And then there's tasers that are like. I had, they did this to me two times on the show. And so. How bad is it? It's so bad. It might be online. They put them around my arms and legs. At the same time? All four? All four at the same time. Did they check to see if that'll kill you? They didn't. And my wife was like, you have to go to the doctor because you can. Oh my God, dude. That's a lot of electricity.

2:38:51It was like a hundred times they shocked me, right? Oh my God. They made me give a museum tour. So I was a tour guide in a museum. I had him under my clothes and I couldn't let the people know that anything weird was going on So I'm giving a tour of this museum and the whole time they're shocking me under my clothes and I like can't let on to people in my tour group And I didn't want to feel the shock until I was on camera because I was like I'm not gonna take any extra shocks Right, so they take they shocked me for the first time on camera and I I almost jumped out of my clothes. I was like I can't do this.

2:39:22You can't do this I had to do it because you can't say no to a punishment Yeah, but it seems like that punishment hadn't been really vetted out. It really wasn't. Four collars is probably too much. Like, they could have killed you. Imagine. Well, listen, so the next season they did it again, and I was at a seance. And I was like a psychic medium. You didn't check to see how many collars you could get away with? This is how fucking dumb I am, because I think I did irreparable damage. For real? Because we went on tour after that. All right, here's the difference. Dog collar, 400 volts to 7 ,000 volts.

2:39:55Taser, 50 ,000 volts, sustained 1 ,200 volts. So it looks like initial 50 ,000 volts sustained 1 ,200 volts. So a taser's a lot worse initially. But go back again. Go back again, Jamie. But the thing is, like, you have four on. So you don't have one dog shock collar. They hit me one at a time, though. You have four. Oh. I just don't know where it's going to come from. Oh, I see. Yeah. Okay. But if they held it down, like you literally go like this, like you can't move. You go like. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. I'm saying it now and I'm like, this should have never happened. All right. Well, if they only did one at a time, still, that's a lot.

2:40:35It's a lot. That could really hurt you. Like, did they check your heart? It's funny. Did they check your heart? Did you go through an EKG or anything like that? They didn't, man. Jesus, man. That's silly. I'm worse off because when we went on tour after that, I thought it was like funny to do live, it hurt bad. So for the whole tour, I would show a clip from the television show and then be like, I'm going to tell you this story about this time. Did I tell you I have tattoos of Jaden Smith on my body? Like photorealistic tattoos of Jaden Smith on my thighs. I don't think you did. Is that something you had to do?

2:41:08I had to do, yeah. So I was telling a story of that while hooked up to the shock collars at the show. And so they called up someone from the audience and they stood behind me and they could shock me while I was doing this bit. about Jaden whenever they wanted, and we did that throughout the tour. Oh my god. And I just always thought, well, if they do it to a dog, it's safe. Has Jaden seen this? He posed for that one. That's hilarious. But the first one, he's 21 there, the first one right there is when he was 15. He didn't know about that one, and I saw him in public, and I showed him it. What did he say?

2:41:43It was really weird. Sal, that's so ridiculous. It's on my thigh right now. It was weird to keep it there. Can you cover it up? It was the spirit was that I have to keep it forever with it So spirit what kind of bullshit show is that like you need to come up with some stuff to do to them It's coming to last for your whole life. I know the commitment to the bit listen Put something else on puppy puppy put a puppy face over that thing He yeah, he was it was at Comic-Con and I saw him walking because he was dressed as Batman was dressed as Batman. There was this month in the press where he was walking around everywhere in a white Batman suit.

2:42:22And I saw that white Batman suit. And I was like, that's Jaden. And I had it. And so I ran up to him and I'm like, Jaden, you don't know me. I'm sorry, but I had to show you this. And I went to go low on my pants and his security guard grabbed me by the neck.

2:42:40That's hilarious. That's so funny. And I was like, no, no. And then the other security guard goes, no, I know who he is. He's good. And I showed him it. And he was like, oh, my God, this is the first one I've ever seen. Like, you know. And then as I'm showing it, I kind of look up and M. Night Shyamalan is staring at us. Because they did a movie together. They were there promoting a movie after Earth, I think it was called. Jaden Smith was in this alien movie or this outer space movie that M. Night Shyamalan directed. And so I didn't realize because I didn't look at him. What movie is that? so m night was just staring at me show him he was 15 years old after earth danger is real fear is a choice i don't remember that yeah and so i just looked up i'm like m night's looking at me i'm just like oh hey man he's like hey oh will smith's in it too that's right okay now i remember it yeah and so then we shot the movie of like four or five years later and they made me go to a movie premiere with him.

2:43:39And afterwards there was a Q &A of the cast and they made me wear Daisy Dukes short shorts so that his thigh was showing. And I didn't know he was in on it. He called me up to the stage and I had to act like, I was wearing a shirt that said number one Jaden fan. So I had to look like a crazy person. I'm like, I'm the number one Jaden fan. He called me on stage and he goes, man, that was when I was like 15. I don't even look like that anymore. You got to update that. Oh my God. And I was like, what? We left that stage, went right in that moment to a tattoo parlor, and he posed for the other thigh.

2:44:14Yeah. That's a commitment, dude. That's how you get to season 12. That's how you get it, yeah. Congratulations on that. That's awesome. Thank you, man. That's really kind of crazy. Like, I didn't realize it's been that long. But I remember when it was blowing up, everybody was talking about it back at the store. They were talking about how you guys are doing these shows on the road and selling out places and killing it. Yeah, 2011. That's crazy. that's crazy we got like over 300 apps now it's amazing dude congratulations it's wild it's really fucking awesome thank you bud that's a huge accomplishment and it's got such an awesome following too I mean you guys have a huge following yeah the fans are great the fans are great and you're at Kill Tony tonight I'm at Kill Tony tonight I'm touring right now I'm doing the Chicago Theater in November oh that's a great place the Beacon, the Ryman I've got like 50, 60 dates it's on SavileCountOfComedy.com beautiful yeah alright brother good to see you my man it's good to come back man Thanks for having me.

2:45:04My pleasure. Thanks for being here. All right. Bye, everybody.