#2396 - Andrew Schulz

23:23Let's go get it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's crazy how, like, the fires weren't even that long ago. I know. It wasn't that long ago. But they haven't even touched a house. Adam Carolla just did a video about it. What did he say? First of all, he called it. Carolla called it a long time ago because Carolla's been involved in construction his whole life. Right. So he knows how hard it is to get permits to build in the Palisades. It's like no one is going to rebuild. But they haven't even touched it. Yeah, but I think they just said that they're going to start stripping back some of that legislation.

23:54Exactly. They're going to start putting low-income housing up there. This is what happened with, I think it was in Philadelphia, right? I think there was a bridge that collapsed. You remember this? Was this in Philly, Pennsylvania? And I think the governor was like, okay, we have to rebuild this because obviously there's going to be huge traffic situations. We need this thing. This is just how humans are going to kind of get around. and so they stripped all legislation and they were able to put it up in a matter of weeks if I'm not mistaken. Jamie, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

24:26I remember that story. I remember something. How long would this take if we didn't strip all the legislation? They're like 16 to 18 months. So you did it in three weeks compared to 16 to 18 months. I think this is where people get frustrated with all the bureaucracy and the red tape. Now, I also believe in some red tape. I live in New York City. there's somebody renovating above us right now i got a kid you know what i mean so it's like i would like a little red tape to make sure they're just not hammering 24 hours a day right we live on top of each other you live in texas there's probably you don't even see your neighbor you could have a little less red tape right but then we get to the point in new york where it's like okay is it impossible to renovate ever maybe that's too much but there needs to be some in different situations 100 i completely agree i got in a conversation about that a long time ago with Dave Rubin, where we were talking about regulations for construction sites, that you don't need inspectors.

25:22And I was like, oh my god. Yeah, that's the... Bro, they'll put the cancer in the kids' cereal. Yeah, they don't give a fuck. Like, if you don't regulate the food, they'll put anything in it. So you need to have somebody looking after this shit. It's in it right now. This is this RFK Jr. shit, where they're turning him into a quack, and these companies are going to go under if they have to follow these regulations. They're following them already in Canada. Exactly. It's like same factory same fruit loops and now we got to feel bad for Kellogg's Right, we're like oh my god. They're not gonna make it poor Kellogg's didn't um Newsom just veto a bill boy stop forever chemicals There was a bill that was stopped forever chemicals being used on I think cook cooking utensils Like there's certain like nonstick cookware that has forever chemicals on it You're scraping it with like a metal spatula to probably get in your diet.

26:12Yeah, not good. Yeah, I think they were banning it Why would he do that? And I think he vetoed it. He vetoed a California bill banning cookware with PFAS's Forever Chemicals. He says the bill would cause sudden product shift, sparking debate among chefs, lawmakers, and environmentalists. No, the bill stops poison, bro. The bill stops poison for going into human bodies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You profit monster. Yeah, did you? You fucking profit monster. Did you see, there's a guy named Van Lathan was asking him about AIPAC. Did you see this? He just says something. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just so interesting.

26:50It's just interesting. What's interesting about it? I mean, it's not something I, you know. I don't think about it. I don't, it's just interesting. It's interesting. I'm interested. What the fuck did you just say? I'm interested. Now I'm interested. Now I'm interested. Yeah, when is he coming on? He's talking some shit on Twitter. I know. It's like you think that's gonna work like that's so stupid like this is such a bad look Yeah, it's a bad choice. There's a little desperation in it, but it's just stupid It's like this is a bad strategy like I probably would have had him on yeah, but now I'm like what are you doing?

27:24There is fun version where you just do it and cook them You know he'll cook himself. I mean that's just ask him questions Yeah, it's like, why are people leaving? Why do you say this thing all the time where you rattle off all the good things about California? When anybody says something bad about California, it's like, number one in Fortune 500 companies, number one in higher education. It was all that shit before you were there. It was all that shit forever. It's because the weather's perfect, man. It has nothing to do with you. California's an unbelievable state. Amazing. This is just what we have to call it.

27:56Mountains in the oceans two hours apart. It's unbelievable. Yeah, it's nuts. It's probably in terms of like one place, if you had to live in one state for the rest of your life, one state for the rest of your life, you could never move. And that was the only place you could live. It's California. It's like not even a question. Yeah, it's perfect. If you want snow, you can have snow. Yeah. If you want to be in San Diego on the beach all day, you have the San Diego on the beach. You could surf. You could snow. But you could do whatever the fuck you want. You want to be a farmer. Go farm. You've got all kinds of parts of San Francisco, all kinds of parts of Oakland, all kinds of parts of, you know, the San Fernando Valley.

28:30It's so different. It's like there's so many different ways you can live in California. But they're fucking problems and people are leaving. Like if people are leaving the place you're in charge of, don't be upset if people are critical of how you've been managing it. Yeah. Like Hollywood. I've been talking to like people who are making films, like the producers of films, not like the actors. Right. Like the actual people who are putting the money up to make films. Right. Because they'll give you the real. Right. Like we're filming in Australia. I'm like, guys, why the fuck are we filming in Australia?

28:59like australia is nice but why the fuck are we here and they're like you can't make a movie in hollywood i go what do you mean you can't make what he go they go you can't i go where was hollywood on the list of places we could film i'll give me the number and they're like not even top 10 not even top 10 wow it's it was australia you get 60 off in taxes or something like that 60 60 we're talking about if you're making like a 10 million dollar rom-com that's one thing if you're making a hundred million dollar two hundred million dollar film 60 off in taxes yeah so something's happened in la and it's fucked up because i look at la kind of like a college football town but college football is the film industry and it's like if you don't nurture that i'm not worried about the actors it's like there's the guys who do the lighting they do transpo these are guys who are like they're like working class guys they make good money don't get me wrong but Like, that goes away.

29:56The crew that came out to film, like, a lot of the crew that came out to film in Australia was from L.A. And a lot of them have moved out of L.A. They've moved to, like, San Diego. Like, my boy Nick, who's A.D., he's like, yeah, there's just no work in L.A. right now, so we'll travel for the job. And then I just live the rest of my time in San Diego. That's a problem. Netflix just built this, like, billion-dollar fucking studio in Jersey. Did you see this? No. So, like, they're going to start taking production over there. I'm just saying, like, you have the industry that everybody knows Los Angeles for.

30:24What other thing do we know LA for? That's it. It's being famous. Music, movies. Yeah, it's all LA. That's all LA is. I don't even know what music is coming out of there anymore. Like when we were kids, you'd think about like what those iconic like rock and roll venues. Right. Well, it's also a town of lost children, right? Like one of the problems with LA is like if you wanted to talk about a town that doesn't have like an emotional base that's healthy. like the main motivation of a good percentage of the people that came out there is to just to get attention to make up for a shitty childhood like that's the main the main population LA is attention to make up for a shitty childhood New York is money to make up for a shitty childhood that's really what it is it's like New York is the hedge funds of the banks because it's like okay my dad wasn't around my mom hated me but I'm gonna make a billion dollars and my mom was on pills and barely there and you know sociopath I could be this fucking hedge fund guy that's gonna take over the world that's what they believe and then LA is the same thing but it's just pats on the back I want people to love me yeah it's both two different versions of American psycho yeah yeah I'm trying to wonder like which one is worse like New York is uh better because at least they have more information they have more things they can talk to you about what i say yeah what i always say about new york is like uh we still we still appreciate greatness even if you're not even if you're not wealthy so like the best skateboarder is really cool in new york yeah the best street artist is really cool like right right right whereas i think la because it's built around the entertainment industry is like whatever's hot you could have a dog shit movie but if it's the biggest movie you're the guy yeah and because there is that dependence on like star power over there uh-huh where I think is New York is like the kind of dependence is the banks like the industry doesn't rely so like we get to masquerade is like really enjoying artists right like you could be a bad motherfucker be playing in like subway tunnels and people like oh this guy's right list and some guys do like make it out of there like that like Charlie Crockett busking I believe it's called well yeah Charlie Crockett used to just pull up and start playing you You don't know who Charlie Crockett is?

32:45Do they do a 50s version of his music? No, no, no. That's the only way I know. No. He does like a 50s version of his music. Oh. He's like a country guy who was a street kid. Oh. Yeah, man. My bad. My bad, Charlie. He's a bad motherfucker. My bad, Charlie. He's really good, man. I was not familiar with your game. He's got a voice where you're like, oh, this guy's seen some shit. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I got to check that. So he used to - This is fire. He would sing on fucking subway cars. He would sing in the tunnels. He would do his shit on street corners. He was homeless for a long time, and now he's killing it.

33:23Very, very interesting guy. But that's New York, right? He was in New York doing country music outside. You can do stuff like that in New York, and people are like, look at this bad motherfucker. That's the thing. You do it in L.A., they're like, you fucking loser. You're never going to be Bruce Springsteen. Whatever it is. They don't care about the best pool player in L.A. No. But New York, there's like a little bubble that you could exist in where you're like the king of the fucking castle. It's true. L.A. has no pool halls. And it's just like another version. It's like everything is geared around entertainment.

33:55And I get it. That's it. It's like if you're the coach of the football team in Ohio State, like you're the guy. Yeah. But I think it's kind of cool in New York that you have these little bubbles where, you know, people really value this niche thing that you do. Well, New York has strong communities of bubbles, right? The pool thing is a good example because LA at one time had Hollywood billiards, which was a 24-hour pool hall that was filled with hustlers. It was like a notorious place. If you were a New York pool player and you were coming to LA, you went to Hollywood and you went downstairs and there was all these like you could get a game.

34:30You could get a game with some fucking killers. Every pool hall is the same, bro. It's underground. A lot of them. At least back where I'm. That was Chelsea. Chelsea Village was underground, too. Like, some of the big... And then the one up on 86 was at... I think at one point it was Amsterdam, but it was upstairs. And then there was another one on 86th Street on the east side that was downstairs. Oh, yeah. The downstairs one's probably shiftier. That was the one that Nicky Shulman, the guy I was telling you about that I went to middle school with in elementary school. Oh, he would go to that one?

34:57We would just go during lunch. And I was like, why does this guy like this place? There was hundreds of pool halls in the 90s when I lived in New York. Hundreds. You'd go to these 24-hour Chinese joints. You'd go in Chinatown, there's killer players, and they could barely speak English. But my point is, L.A. only had one. My boy, this Chinese kid, we called him Cowboy. He was at our school. The kid had the strongest Chinese accent. I think he was born in America. It was crazy. I didn't even understand. I was like, this guy's got to be putting it on. He lived in the Chinese version of the projects in Chinatown.

35:34right and he had a pool table in his apartment whoa there was no room in the apartment it's the projects right like i'm watching his mom like skirt around the pool table half the shots you came to do but like the obsession was unreal and cowboy was was legit yeah yeah you need a place to practice in the dark when no one's looking yeah that's the thing about pool players you want to get good when no one's watching so you could sneak up on people oh yeah so they have this idea how good you play, but you play a lot better than that. You've got to be able to practice in silence. But now with the internet, you can't hustle anymore.

36:09No, there's no hustling anymore. There's maybe a few guys that could pull it off on idiots, but amongst high-level guys, all the action is knocked. My point was there's only one place in all of L.A. L.A. had 20 million people. There was one place that was pretty good. There was a place in the Valley. There was a couple places in like when you start going out towards Santa Barbara. There was a few places. But as far as like the volume of New York City, it was not even close. It was New York, Connecticut, New Jersey. They were all filled with legendary pool hall. We used to play at West End Billiards in New Jersey.

36:51They had a weekly tournament with like pros. It was in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Super sketchy area. Super sketchy. But you would go there and you'd see Steve Miserak playing Rodney Morris, two world-class, world championship-level pool players in this shitty-ass fucking weird spot with a diner counter there. It was—they were everywhere. It's a cool world, the pool world. Oh, it's a great world. I remember I was here—I forget what it was, but you had a guy down here. I don't know if he just did the pod, but he was like an OG. And I think he commentates maybe now. Jeremy Jones. Jeremy Jones. That's my boy.

37:31Yeah. And he could hold court. Like, he was a storyteller. Yeah, he's a funny dude. He was on the podcast, too. He had some great fucking stories. Yeah, that was cool talking about. And that dude won the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open's the pool tournament. It's the U.S. Open, but people come from everywhere. Like, people come from all around the world. Taiwan, Germany, all over the place to play in that tournament. That's the big one. And Jeremy won that shit. He won it, yeah. He won that shit. That's how good he plays. I'm hearing his stories about like going, like being like essentially like a traveling pool hustler and like popping into a town where you heard there was some game and you travel with like a couple other people.

38:07One guy would like sense it out. He would go play a couple games, see who's there. And then Jeremy would just come in and just clean up for two weeks straight. And then you're out of there. Yep. It is. And you play like you suck at first. At first. That's right. Yeah. The first week you just let people beat up on you a little bit. And then the second week you eat their lunch. Depends on how thick your bankroll is. You know, like if you could start off like just you only got like 150 to lose. You know, like you have your gambling money. Like what can we fuck with before we start getting into real money?

38:39Because if you want to get somebody on the hook, you don't want to get them on the hook for$100. You want to get them on the hook for$5 ,000. Hook means you want them to have the confidence that they'll beat you? Well, when they're on the hook is when they're fucked. Right. So you let them win a few games and then you say let's bet some fucking real money. Yeah, and you know you look nervous and shit and then you get a game for$5 ,000 Here we go And then you loosen up and also the stroke is smooth What's the like midway through that game when someone realizes they're being hustled? Oh, they get mad I've been there.

39:13I've been there not with me I was never good enough to hustle people, but my friend Johnny was a professional pool hustler My friend Johnny was a homeless guy Not the guy from Connecticut. No, that's Tommy Tommy. That's Tommy Tommy was different Tommy wasn't as crazy as Johnny like Tommy's clean and sober he has been like he smokes a little weed But like his whole life he never drank never did drugs, right and he was an elite pool player But Johnny was the Johnny actually used to play at the subways too He used to go down. He was a musician so he would he would had a little keyboard and shit Yeah, that's one of the ways that he made money, but he would hustle people.

39:49That's how I met him. He tried to hustle me Yeah, he just comes over and he starts you know talking like dude you play pretty good you want to play some And I was like what we talking about man you have the defenses up like you're right away I can smell a predator. I was like the fuck out of here He became friends so he so he sees it do you respect the hustle 100 % okay? So within pool someone trying to hustle you it's not seem as it's not seen as like an act of aggression at all It's just like this is part of the game part of the part of the fun. Yeah, it's part of the fun Oh, so you almost appreciate when someone's right.

40:24100 % because you don't know. Like, is this guy fucking with me? Do you play good? And you don't know. Did you ever see the movie The Color of Money? No. There's a scene where Paul Newman and Forrest Whitaker. Forrest Whitaker hustles Paul Newman. And he, at one point in time, Paul Newman goes, are you a hustler? Are you a hustler, Amos? Because Paul Newman in the movie The Hustler was the guy who did that to other people. He pretended he sucked and then he would eventually get all their money. Yeah, and he goes And the forest Whitaker looks at us. Why you want to quit? Hey He goes you quit And he's like fuck you he's like alright, let's go And then these he's got him on the hook cuz he's better than him and Paul Newman has to realize oh my god This young guy is better than me and he's stealing my money And at the end he asked him a question.

41:12I asked you a question I think I need to lose some weight and he just smiles at him and he just walks off, because, you know, Forest Whitaker is fat. You know, he just smiled at him and he just peels the hundreds off the table and leaves. That's part of the fun. Part of the fun is, like, maybe you're going to get got. But it can only happen in two ways. If you're naive or if you suck. Because if you're the best, you can't get hustled. Yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is, like, in just regular life, if somebody was trying to hustle me, I would be like, fuck you, you're an asshole. But there's a different, it's almost like prison rules.

41:49Like there's a different set of rules. Like being racist is wrong in regular life. And then everybody goes into prison. It's like, all right, we're going to divide this thing up a little bit. You know?

42:00We're going to throw it back to the 1800s. Right, right, right. And it's just like, I don't even know if they look at it as hateful. I think they're like, this is just what we got to do to make it through. Right. I assume that's kind of more or less what it is. I'm sure there's hateful guys within it, yes. Yeah. But like, so I just find it interesting when people have different rule sets that they operate within society. Yes. And I feel like this is one of them where a guy's coming over to essentially steal your money. But you understand that the game is that. So you're like, okay, I'm going to let you like riz me up a little bit.

42:33Like I'm going to let you fake charm me and I might actually get you over. And there's no animosity between the sharks. Have you ever seen two elite pool players talk about the game about like setting up a game? They're like, I don't know I haven't been playing. Yeah, yeah I haven't been hitting balls. You know, I'm not really I can't give you any weight man I'm just not playing that good weight is like weight is like a spot Yeah Yeah, so like if nine ball it's like if you and I are playing nine ball and you were kind of good I said look I'll give you the eight ball Which means you could win by pocketing the eight ball or the nine ball way increases your ability to win the game because you can make combinations you could luck in the eight ball luck in the night and i would say it's call or wild what does that mean it's wild it means you could knock into some balls and accidentally knock in the eight ball and you'd win the game yeah i would say i'll give you the call shot eight you're like no i need it wild and we'd have this conversation i need it wild and i need the brakes like oh i don't know about the brakes and you'd have to like work out a game a spot so like that's where the hustling comes in because someone Pretends they need weight that can beat you they could beat you already and then they get you to give them weight So not yet now you got a lot of confidence going in you know this guy sucks to the point where I got to give them Do you know open micers that are way too confident for their actual ability?

43:51You know open micers that think they're doing well or guys in the beginning

43:58Yes, yes, yes, yes That's the same way with pool players. There's pool players that are kind of okay But think they're a lot better than they are and if if they're a moron and you could dance with their ego a little bit Like dude, I saw you play Mikey you're fucking amazing When you get loose you're way better than me and the guys like I'll give you a spot And then you know he's give me the eight ball and he can't beat you even it's half of the fun Jeremy Jones told me a story about how he hustled Marcus Shamat Marcus Shamat is like a world-class pool player Like a top flight pool player. And he hustled him by getting him to give him weight.

44:37And Jeremy could beat him even. And why would Marcus do it? Because he didn't know any better. He didn't know what Jeremy was. Jeremy came up with a fake name. Oh, okay, okay. That's crazy. Well, they all had fake names. They all had fake names. Yeah, he told me that when he was coming down to Texas to get those games. Like, yeah, you come up with a fake name and, like, somebody else talks about you. Yes. Like your buddy who goes in to kind of like scope it out talks about you. He gambles high. Yeah. He's wild. He loses a lot, but he's not scared to gamble. And everybody loves to hear that kind of stupid talk.

45:10Yeah. Do you know who Efren Reyes is? Yo, you told me about this guy, and then I started looking him up. Bro. But what was his other name? Cesar Morales. Yes, yes, yes. He came here from the Philippines. This is how strong he was. From another country, he had to change his name. This is before Google, before Wikipedia. Before Google. There's a black and white photo. There's a black and white photo that I have a t-shirt of. It was like Morales stuns the field at Reds. He came over from the Philippines and robbed everybody. That's funny. Robbed the best blue players in America. But he had to fake his name.

45:45Because if he said Efren Reyes, you'd see the look on the Filipinos' face. Like, Efren. Efren's here. Efren's here. Bata. They called him Bata. The kid. Was this, I wonder if this is like early days. That's it. Look at that. Look at that photo, bro. Black and white photo. Swagged out. All of them. From 1985. Yeah. It didn't have to be black and white in 85. But that dude rolled over here and started fucking people up. Says his name on there. Oh, signs his name Efren Reyes. Well, you know what it is? Because when he played in the tournament, he went under the name of Cesar Morales. Then he had to collect his money.

46:25He needed like a real name where he had ID to cash the check Another guy that was using an alias to well Wade Crane Wade Crane would go around as Billy Johnson That was his nom de plure when he was hustling Billy Johnson, but he was Wade Crane He was this big fucking like linebacker looking dude who had a cannon for a break just boom yeah, and then it would just run out on people all over the country and But the thing is, if you rob lemons, that's when you're getting in fights. So if you rob regular people, that's a regular guy who doesn't really play pool, and you hustle him, that's when you get in fights.

47:04Because they don't know how this whole thing works. Yeah, because you lied to me and stole my money. They don't know the rules of engagement. They think it's a crime. Does that look down upon? Amongst the sharks? No, right? Everything's food. You have to be, like, really desperate to play lemons. If you find some idiots just knocking some eight balls around, and you can tell they can't play at all, and you start talking shit to get in their ego, and you convince one of these dummies to play you for money, you're stealing money, and they might kill you. But if you do it to a guy who's involved in a gambling match for pool, like him and his buddies are playing, and they're...

47:42Professional fighters fighting each other. Exactly. It's the rules of engagement. And amongst pool players, it's part of the fun. Like, they'll go for an hour and a half without making a game. Just talking shit about different spots. I'm going to need this. I'm going to need that. Because they're addicted to that part, too. Oh, yeah. Like, sometimes. Poor play. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I want to go right in there. Yeah. Suck on it a little. Yeah. Let's get the juices flowing. Come on. It's fun to. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun to enjoy something. Especially when you sit down at a restaurant you don't immediately get food stuffed right in your face Yeah, you sit down every glass of wine you start talking Let me tell you this guy told me and then like yeah, but are you doing that when you're when you're playing?

48:31Like you said you're playing how many hours a week now it depends sometimes I'll play like Two hours in a day every day. Okay, so let's say you're playing bare minimum. Let's say 10 hours a week, right? That's not good enough. Yeah, I know I mean I remember when we were talking last time, you said that like... Pros play eight hours a day. Yeah, but you said some crazy shit. You said, you're like, I don't start playing well until like hour six or something. Hour two. You said some shit about like, I need to be a little drunk. I need to be like a little loose. No, not drunk. A little high helps.

49:06You started like everything that goes against what should work for like your physical ability. Right. I don't know. You mentioned something about like flow or something. I think this is with Jones too. Like, Joe was like, yeah, I like getting into it. Like, he was like, I'll play for like six hours, and then I'm starting to really kind of warm up. I'm locking in. I'm dialing in. Yeah. And that's why it's like first to 100. Like, that's another thing I didn't realize. I didn't realize guys are playing 100 games over like two days. Three days. 120 is a big one. I thought it's like, yeah, we play a couple.

49:36It's like best out of five. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, you're up. And sometimes part of it is being able to outlast them. Mm-hmm like the exhaustion yeah takes over and sometimes people tap out well It's concentration goes away the like the concentration of focusing on an edge of a ball at distance And then also not moving your arm off this line Yeah, so there's a line that I'm when I'm stroking a ball. There's a line I can't Sora Sora do your thing Here we are. I'll help you out. Have the kid come in. Peanut butter.

50:16From the elbow to the cradle, right? I'm holding on to that cue like a baby bird. Oh, really? It's a soft... Oh, it's very soft. I hold on to it like a little baby bird. I never death grip. It's very light. You know who would death grip it? Who? Peanut butter. No.

50:37See what Sora's doing to us? Yeah, man No, no, no Okay, so it's a light grip And then on the final stroke You have to The thing is, it's like Even then, it's like Mostly the weight of the cue It's like a little bit of like Wrist action And I'm trying to like Have as little I let the cue slip a little In my grip As it makes contact It's really like The weight of the cue Why would you want to reduce force? It's not reducing force It's actually the opposite. I actually get more force. Oh, you let it slip forward into it I thought on impact it slides back in your hands. No, it goes through my hand I have to catch it before it goes away Jeremy calls it throwing the cue and he showed me the technique and It's also the the old-school guys used to call it a slip stroke where the cue like slips in your hand a little bit And it's a sign that you're like barely like Efren was the best at Efren cradled the cue Like his hands were delicate.

51:32Barely holding it. He's barely holding it. And his wrist was loose. And it makes the cue ball dance. Like there's no sliding. If you hit it too hard, the cue ball slides. It's like, ugh, it gets pushed. It's crude. But if you hit it gently, you stroke the ball, it just rolls forward perfectly and collides with the other ball and gets perfect position. It's a work of art. But it's a work of art that only someone who practices it can understand. people it's funny like I was telling you about playing paddle and how like obsessed I am and you're you immediately were like I'm playing pool 14 hours a week I don't think people realize like how important it is to just have some shit that you enjoy so important that you're not making money at or anything like that oh yeah yeah yeah how nice is it it's like a removal from all like this stupid stress chaos people talking shit what the internet is fabricated like it's great to have a couple hours maybe that's what it is like obviously centers you for sure there's some like archery does that for me too um you need something that you're focusing on getting really good at that's fucking hard that doesn't give a shit who you are yeah doesn't give a shit what your name is doesn't give a shit if you sold out madison square garden yeah just you better put that fucking arrow on that target or you're a loser yeah you're a loser put it in there and that's there's absolute truth in pool there's absolute truth in archery is absolute truth the arrow either hits the target or it does not there is no room for charisma there's no room for bullshit it either gets in there or it does not and i think things like that whether it's golf or paddle for you or whatever it is jujitsu for some people you either tap someone or you do not you either get tapped or you tap them yeah you know and there's absolute truth in that and stuff like that is like really good for artists because art is so subjective also successful people like it's nice to have something that humbles you yes you know what i mean like people are meeting you all day they're probably so excited and like they're they're being versions of their selves around you you know like do you ever even feel like that like like how many people That's where you're having a normal conversation where you're talking shit, and they're not going, oh my God, I'm talking to Joe Rogan right now.

53:57Is that why being around comedians that you've known for so long is valuable to you? Is that why being around these pool guys that, yes, they know you're Joe, but once you start playing, you either suck at pool or you can play. Does it bring you back to humanity in some ways? Oh, for sure it helps. Yeah. It keeps you humble. Yeah, jujitsu is the best at that because not only are they beating you, they're literally killing you. And you're saying, you just killed me. Thanks. Don't rip my knee apart. Thanks. Don't break my arm. Thank you. If a guy gets you in an R bar, man, it is so humiliating. It's so funny that this is such a delicate thing before you die.

54:42Yeah. Well, often you even say it, too. Like sometimes you just say, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Yeah. You know, that happened in one of the last UFCs. A dude was saying, tap, tap, tap. Josh Emmett, when he got caught, he got caught in an arm bar and had to verbally tap. It's, you get humbled. It's real. It is what it is. And if you don't have anything like that in life, you can, like, really have this aversion to losing. And an aversion to losing is very fucking dangerous. It's very fucking dangerous. Yeah, you just get comfy. Yeah. Yeah, you need to have something that scares you. Being scared is good.

55:21Well, it gives you some resilience. It's like if you're a person who sleeps all day and now you have to run a marathon. Well, you're not going to be able to because you never ran. But if you run all the time, you can run a fucking marathon and it's real relaxing. It's really just how much you put into it. And if you're not a person who's used to losing at anything ever and then you lose, it's devastating for your whole life. Yeah, this is like the, you know, if you're like a prince or something like that. Uh-huh. Exactly. You're Joffrey. Yeah. Yeah. And that can happen. And you don't build up that resilience.

55:55I almost feel like you almost have some empathy for it, you know, because like they never had 20 years, 30 years toiling in obscurity before they got success. So they, we, you know, like we at least have something to like look back on. Yes. And realize how fucking humbling it is and how shitty people can be, et cetera. But like they never experienced that. Childhood stars. Childhood stars are all fucked up. I never met one of them that's got... Some of them are really interesting still, like Miley Cyrus. She's really interesting. She's very smart, and she's really good. Her music is like... She's not trying to be like pop hit girl.

56:30She's just trying to express herself. It's like real legit art, but there ain't no way you get that famous that young. You're fucking Hannah Montana when you're a teenager, and the whole world is cheering for you, and you don't get a little crazy because of that. Yeah. I never met one of them that's got their shit together. Is that the Britney thing? Yeah. A hundred percent, man. That's Michael Jackson. He's the best example of it of all time. I wonder just what responsibility. I wonder what responsibility the people around them have. A lot. You know? A lot. They might not know it while it's happening, though.

57:03Yeah, because they're getting paid off it. It's a little bit of that, but it's not shunned. Like, it's still a thing in Hollywood. What do you mean? I mean, in Hollywood, when you have children and your children want to act, people encourage it. They bring their kids to auditions. They call them, you know, what is audition moms or, you know. What's the term? Stage moms. That's it. Yeah, stage moms. Like, dude, those are real, man. I've worked with kids before on a TV show. And, like, I had one of the moms of the kids was like, how does she get more work? What does she need to do? And I was like, I don't know.

57:40I'm like, I don't come from this world. I'm a comedian. I come from a totally different world. I don't know how you go about doing it. But the mom was like super desperate to get her kid more work. And I was like, ooh. And that's the tricky thing because it's not like merit-based like sports in a lot of ways. Like there are people that are good at shit. They're good at acting, et cetera. But like a lot of it is maybe who you know, what they're willing to do, how uncomfortable a position they're willing to be in. It's most of that, I think. Because most people at that level especially like little kid acting yeah, most people are pretty similar There's no like one little kid like oh my god.

58:15He's a Marlon Brando of little kids. Yeah, like maybe there's Ricky Schroeder from the champ You ever see that movie the champ with John Voight. Oh my god, dude Oh my god, I saw I was a little kid. I cried my eyes out It's a it's a rough movie. It's about this boxer who who dies John Voight dies and his kid is trying to get him to wake up He's like wake up champ. He died in the ring But but it's like crazy he's crying Oh my god, it seems so real. How old is the kid? I Don't know how old Ricky Schroeder was was supposed to be in the mood, but he's a kid Nine or something like that. So imagine being nine like knowing how to cry on cue Crazy some right like where you yeah, I know so you're accessing that emotional depth He did that, and then he did Silver Spoons.

59:05He had this TV show. He did like, you know, he was seven. God damn, seven. Yeah, it's a fine line because you see some of these parents. Not like a stage parent. Yeah, there he is right there. Even like. It's so sad. You know the guy who drives for Red Bull, Max Verstappen? Yeah, I've heard his name, yeah. He's like considered the best driver right now. Like despite maybe the car not being elite, he's so elite that he can compete with maybe better cars on the track. And he's already won a bunch of championships, et cetera. But like I think his dad was also a driver. And apparently like his dad cultivated a next champion.

59:44And like that was the goal. Tiger Woods-dom. But the thing right there is like your kid is going to be born with certain things. and you can, if they have that, like, ambition, that hunger and that resilience, you can give them some tough love and maybe make a champion out of them. But some of them don't. And I think that you could break a kid like that too. That's the tricky thing I always think with, you know, my daughter is like, and any future kids, is I don't know if, I don't have that, at this point in my life, I don't have that, I need to make you into something. You shouldn't. You've got to let them be themselves.

1:00:21Yeah. Because they all are going to have, the worst thing is like, say if you have a kid and you love baseball and you force your fucking kid to play baseball, you got to go to baseball practice and you force your kid to play professionally. Yep. You know. I was lucky I was ambitious and I had parents that just supported the things that I was ambitious about. So if I wanted to hoop, they were like, all right, let's go play basketball. And my dad was like, let's go every single day, whatever you want to do. But I never felt this stage mom or dad presence where they were going, hey, you missed four shots today.

1:00:51Let's review those shots that you missed and let's figure out ways that you can't do it. Kind of let me have that on my own. Yeah. I don't need you to insert your ambition into me. I feel like that's kind of selfish in a lot of ways. It is, and it's also, it's like you got to know when the line is. Maybe they do want advice. Maybe they are trying to get better at this thing. But you have to have the kind of communication with your kid would you like do you do you want some help? Let me help you yeah, you know like like I can I can give you some information Like say if your kid wanted to like if your kid wanted to stand up Yeah, and you kids started doing stand-up and you know they're bombing and you're like Do you want me to talk to you?

1:01:28Do you want to talk to you? I just work this out on your own like you have to have that kind of open level of communication with your kids Where they can tell you like hey just leave me the fuck alone right now, okay? Yeah I know you bombed. You know, it sucks. I can tell you about my bombs. I bombed a lot. I'll tell you what I learned. I got better after the bombing. It sucks, but it's actually good for you. So you're delicate with your kids. Yeah, you have to be. I have daughters. You know, if I had a son, I'd beat the shit out of him. Take him to jiu-jitsu. Make sure that he knows I could kill him with my bare hands.

1:02:00Thank God you got daughters, bro. Maybe we needed Rogan to have to. Maybe that's your destiny, man. Maybe that softens you up a little bit. It definitely does. it just lets you understand that they're so different. The way they are, they're so different. Like my friends that have sons, they come home, the people are lighting things on fire, they're picking the cat up by its tail. There's all these people who don't have kids that have all these opinions about gender and what you're born as and all this other stuff. And I don't need to get into the whole gender discussion, but I see the way that slightly older girls play with my daughter.

1:02:31So my daughter's a little over 20 months, right? So the three-year-olds and four-year-olds that play with her, they're already kind of like mothering. They're like patient with her. They're delicate. They'll want to give her a toy if she wants to give it back. They're fine. It's just like this amazing thing. Like, I don't know how. Maybe they're watching their mom do it to them, et cetera. But the boys don't give a fuck. Right. And older boys will convince younger boys to jump off the top bunk. In a second. Yeah. In a second. Yeah. My boy Jason got two kids, both boys. And like, you could tell if we weren't there, the older kid is going to throw the younger kid wherever the hell he wants to throw.

1:03:07Yeah. Like, we got to constantly monitor. Yeah. You know? And that's something baked in. Yeah. It's baked in. Yeah. Yeah. They're like dogs. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey. That might be generous. Yeah. Even dogs would be nice with babies. Yeah, they're not. Well, they're probably okay with babies, but as soon as you can start walking, you're on your own. Yeah, let's dance. They're going to trip you. Let's fucking dance. If it's a five-year-old to a two-year-old, uh, maybe. But once you get to be three and four, fuck you. and you know it's also this understanding that you keep getting bigger and like as like as time goes on like the younger ones like if someone's picking on you you can pick on someone younger than you and like there's especially like four brothers like the toughest brother is always the youngest brother like if there's a bunch of fighters yeah yeah they went through it if there's a bunch of fighters and he has three older brothers did john have three older brothers No, John I think is the middle.

1:03:59I think Arthur is the oldest. RIP, right? He just died, rest in peace. And then John, and then Chandler's younger, right? Is that correct? John is the younger. No, you're right. Chandler's younger. Chandler's the youngest. Big boys. Here's the thing. John's the only one who became a legit fighter, but Chandler was always like, I'll fuck John up. He said it publicly. That's how they grow up. You grow up in a household with two super athletes as brothers. I have empathy for their dad. Imagine trying to discipline those three guys when they're like 16. Right. Good luck. Good luck. I sat next to them when we were at the No, no, no They're just different It's different And their grandmother is, John told me Is where the genetics come from He goes, this is my grandma And he introduced me to his grandmother I'm like, yo, his grandmother is big She's big, man Big lady Yeah, we sat next to them at the Spear fight And they're all having the best time Yeah, John's always having a good time He's wearing cowboy hats now.

1:05:08He's leaning into it. He don't give a fuck, dude. Dude, he's so funny. He's the sheriff. It's funny how they were trying to pressure him to fight Tom Aspinall. Is he going to fight? What's the deal? Who knows? That's part of the fun. I feel like you know. He's doing what a pool hustler does. That's all I was about to say. Oh, that's what he's doing. I guarantee you, if John really thinks that he's fighting in June, he's already in camp. Oh, so he's making it seem like he's not potential. I would imagine that John is preparing. Because so John has different places to train you know, he doesn't just train in one place Yeah, but I could imagine it does a lot of weightlifting too He got a lot of did put on a lot of like real Muscle mass when he went up to heavyweight anyway, yeah if John really thinks he's gonna fight Alex Pereira he's getting ready.

1:05:50Yeah, he's at least getting ready in his mind Would it be Alex or you think it would be really? Yeah, so the Tom ship is sailed the big no it hasn't sailed but the big money fight is Alex and John Jones at the White House. Are you fucking kidding me? Catch weight. Make it 225. Alex still is the light heavyweight champion. Make it a catch weight fight. It doesn't have to be for a title. Make it the bad motherfucker upper edition. You have the BMF belt for 155ers. Who's the real BMF? Do you think one of those guys could beat Alex Pereira? You think he'd get a 155-pounder in there against Alex Pereira?

1:06:28Does Max Holloway survive against Alex Pereira? No, shut the fuck up. That's the bad motherfucker. That's the only heavyweight. We need to do a fight. DC would drop you on your fucking head, man. You don't want to wrestle that dude. Never. Matt is funny about their relationship. He's like the kindest, sweetest guy. And he's an animal. A full animal when he fights. That'd be a wild thing, man. That'd be a wild thing. The Jon Jones-Alex Pereira fight would probably be the biggest fight in human history. I mean, that at the White House? But as a matchup You got the greatest of all time In Jon Jones And arguably the most destructive striker That's ever competed No one's like that guy That Ancalia fight He was like fuck you It was such a And again I don't know what's going through Ancalia's head at this moment But I know what I'm thinking I'm like if I'm Ancalia I outstruck this guy in the first time that they fought He's gonna be cautious and I'm going to be able to walk him down and I remember the second the bell rings he runs right at him and he throws maybe like a one-two-one and I think the right is to the body and you could see Uncle I go whoa I did not expect the first five seconds of this fight to go this way he came out hot and closed distance immediately and it was a great like it's a testament to like somebody had said this before especially in MMA it's like when somebody gets not nervous or like when you shake somebody out of their like natural instinct they revert back to what they're most comfortable doing so it's like if you're like a wrestling guy your whole life and then you learn how to strike the second something goes a little bit you know out of whack you're going to revert back to your wrestling i think it might have been dc that's that i forget exactly who is i saying but like you revert back to what you're most comfortable dc said it right yeah okay and um but i thought the most interesting thing about that fight is the punch that pereira lands that stuns him is this looping right nobody's training for Pereira's right right well that's what he threw right away that was the first punch it was a straight right but he went to the body yeah it was long this is long straight right he started off the fight with but when he lands this like looping right it's not that one it's a little bit after that so what he did is he set him up and then got his foot in proper position where he could step inside of him and Ancalia was ready for one thing and Pereira Watch this.

1:08:51If you see where he sets it up, a guy did a really good breakdown of it. I'll watch it again. He broke his foot there, right there. Yeah. That kick. He hit the shin and he broke his toe.

1:09:05Yeah, I think he gets Uncle I to switch stances. Well, he's just putting mad pressure on him. He's putting mad pressure on him. Yeah. That you don't see from him too often. Yeah. And it's time. And he just dips in and drops a fucking hammer on him. Here it is. Boom! So he let Ankulayev started moving to the right, to Pereira's right, when he put pressure on him. And that's why, because everybody's scared of the left. The movement with Pereira is don't ever walk to your right, because that's walking into his left hook. Circle away. So circle away. So their idea was, we're going to circle away. And Pereira was like, I bet you're going to circle away.

1:09:48Yeah. And he just stomped them in this. You could tell he enjoyed it. Yeah. Because he was sick. The first fight, he was sick. He was 100 % sick. He was sick as a dog the entire camp. Huh. I didn't know that. But I also assume, like. Yeah, Poligno, his coach, told me after the fight. Really? Like, after he just knocked out Uncle I, he goes, let me tell you something. First camp, he was so sick, bro. He was so sick. Like, he could barely eat. Really? Yeah. I think I said rotavirus, but I think it's norovirus. Yeah, that was going around. And he also fucked up his hand. He had a really badly hurt left hand in that fight.

1:10:22That's the moneymaker. And then when you see this, you're like, that's what you get when you get fully in shape and healthy, Alex. You get stomped. Yeah, but these guys are never fully healthy. Like, any time, I was just talking to, I believe his name is Paul Hughes. Do you know him? He just fought, it's PFL. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he fought Usman. Usman Nurmagomedov. Yeah. And for the second time. The first fight was like contested. It was a close fight. If you're a Nurmagomedov, if you're in the Khabib camp. Yeah. I mean, come on, son. Yeah. Come on. It's real shit. You have to carry that last name around?

1:11:01There's a lot of responsibility. Khabib Nurmagomedov might be like the greatest name in the history of like grappling MMA fighting. Yeah. Like, you've got Khabib's last name. Yeah. Yeah, if you saw that on a lineup in a jujitsu tournament or something, you'd be like, man. You'd be like, oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You would just have a thousand yard stale. Like, fuck. Anyway, like, you fought him again. And, like, you know, he was like, yeah, I was dealing with a bunch of, you know, I was dealing with some stuff in camp. But I don't want to make excuses because we're always dealing with some stuff.

1:11:33Always. He was like, he's probably dealing with stuff. Like that guy, I mean, it was it was a close fight, but I thought that he came out to the show in Dubai. And I was like and he was like he was like he's like, yeah, he's just like really good. He's just like a really good guy. And I thought that I could get him. I think I still can. Maybe it happens one day in the future. But I was this honest approach where where he was basically saying we're always a little injured. We're fighters like naturally in training camp. You're going to hurt something. You're going to tweak something. Now, granted, you got fucking neurovirus.

1:12:01This is a little bit different than like your shoulder sore. Right. But like everybody's dealing with a little shit a 100 % look at Connor He came into that fight with Dustin Poirier with a broken shin already didn't give a fuck Well, he just thought it's not that broken. Yeah He's like dude Connor is like reaching final form like as a promoter It's like he's already so prolific obviously as a fighter etc But like watching him do the BKFC I kind of just want to go to see him hype up fights like I want to go to the press conference where he's just like What was he saying? He's like, and if you don't win, we're firing you on the spot to Mike Perry.

1:12:35And Mike's like, what do I do? I'm just getting punched in the face. He's like chest bumping the guys who were fighting. He's not even fighting yet. It's like Dana calling out the guys. Yeah, what are you doing? What are you doing? What is entertaining? I want to watch one of them BKFC. And I want to know if it's real or if he's really on the most potent Bolivian marching powder. Like the purest of the pure. Whatever he's on, I need to try it Or is it an act? Maybe he's just duping us all What is he saying here? Look at this guy Look at him And in front of me Some of the baddest men and women To ever grace planet Earth This is what we're about Here at Burn Local Fighting Championship The alien of combat sport And may we rise above the night sky And rain down blows Viciously on all our deniers and announce here today that Baron Local FC has no love for the big glove.

1:13:35So let's go Florida and let's announce. All right, hold on. Yo, no love for the big glove. He might be the greatest promoter of all time. That's what I'm saying. I know a lot of people do coke, and they're not that entertaining. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's charisma. You've got to have something in you for the coke to bring it out. That's why they won't let him run for president in Ireland. Because it'd be too much fun? That motherfucker will win. Imagine that. That kind of speech in Ireland. Bro, he could be the president of Ireland tomorrow. Bro. If he wanted to be the president of Ireland, if they let him, let him go on the campaign tour, let him talk like that in front of packed arenas, it's over.

1:14:15Come on our podcast, Connor. We'll make it happen. Bro, who else can? We control the election. We're the kingmakers. Just the three of us. We're the kingmakers, dog. Let's go. We need to charge more for ads. Let's go. We need to charge more for ads since we can decide the fate of the free world. Only us. nothing else happening you know what's funny is like anything bad happens it's our fault and then like Trump will like stop a war in the Middle East and nobody's going thank you Joe, thank you Schultz thank you Theo do you think he stopped it? we need credit for the good I think it's a figazi stoppage I think that I think that he stopped I think he stopped what Israel was doing to Gaza for the time being and he got hostages back he got hostages back so it's like but the way I look at it is like I think that you need to give him credit and I like calling balls and strikes bro if he does something I don't like I'm gonna call it out and then people get upset at that shit for some reason they're like oh but how did you not know this was gonna happen it's like oh my god do we not do we not understand that when you vote for somebody they're gonna do some things that you don't like and they're gonna do some things that you do like again there's no nuance on the internet but like I don't think that this is what Bibi Netanyahu wanted I don't think that and I think it's what trump wanted i think trump went i want to stop it and you could make arguments for like oh he wants to get the noble peace prize or whatever the fuck you want to say but like he wanted it and he created a situation where bb was dependent on him trump's more popular in israel than bb and if bb wants re-election he's got to play nice with trump really 100 percent trump is more popular in israel than netanyahu 100 100 whoa there was an article in the new Yorker that just said about this is like bb i know i know but like but like bb's political future is dependent on trump wow 100 so it's like that's crazy they created a situation and then he just went around everybody like it's almost like he's better at government over there where you're dealing with dictators because he could just say what do you want and then they go uh like uh some some planes he goes all right we got planes i'll give you some planes all right you do this for me It's that transactional, and it works on the global stage in that regard.

1:16:20They got to stop. Now, granted, it's a deal between Trump, Bibi, and Hamas. It could go wrong. Right. But it seems to me the only person that got what they wanted out of it, it's not what Hamas wanted. It's not what Bibi wanted. And Bibi's folks in government, it's what Trump wanted. So I'm like, you got to give credit to where credit is due, in my personal opinion. It's like he doesn't want any more bloodshed. He wants to say that he stopped this thing. let him rally off some dubs. You see Israel bombed Lebanon today? Well, he got to stop that one. Yeah. They did. Where? They bombed a weapons depot.

1:16:55Crazy fireball. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. All right, well, we got to put a stop to all that shit. This was, what is, did they say anything about the target, Jamie? You should see it. You should see the video. It's nuts. Because it's a munitions place. Oh, so you get the extra explosions. Bro, look at that. Yeah, that's Michael Bay. Fireball, man. I mean, that's crazy. Yeah. And there's a bunch of secondary explosions on the ground, right? So those secondary explosions are all the munitions going off. Hezbollah. Yeah. Incident marked the latest strikes and almost unbroken pattern of daily Israel attacks on Lebanese territories since the ceasefire deal was struck in November of 2024.

1:17:39After more than a year, fierce hostilities accumulated in two months of open war. Yeah. oh yeah man bro anyway it was like your little brother that keeps dragging you into fights it's like bro come on right like who we be feeling what are we doing yeah but also yeah you really don't want them having all those weapons either i don't really know to be honest with you but like i do think that we're allowed to have an opinion on there's this idea like we're not allowed to it's like we're funding shit we get an opinion on it plain and simple the idea that we shouldn't have an opinion is ridiculous you should always have opinions your opinions could be uninformed They're still your opinions like you're allowed to have opinions You're allowed to have the dumbest fucking opinion in the world and other people go.

1:18:19That's a really dumb opinion Yeah, yeah, you're allowed of opinion. Yeah this idea that you shouldn't talk about opinions like shut the fuck up Yeah, this is the whole point. This is why we get to say whatever the fuck we want Well, it's it's a why we're the best thing us and Saudi Arabia It's just us in Saudi Arabia by the way We're the we're the best ones by the way. Yes Yeah, what was that experience like going over there man? It was so it's like I've performed the Middle East before so like you've done a bunch of shows yeah like it's just not everybody make this big thing like oh my god it's gonna be so crazy bubble i posted my soldier i like i posted my set because people are saying all this shit like oh i didn't change anything and all these comics were doing i'm like all right well i'll show you this is what i did you tell me if i took it easy on him you tell me if i cared and people made all this fucking big deal about like oh they made you sign a list of things you can't say and it's just like do you really think the fucking king cares about the clowns coming to the festival like you think he really gives a fuck about that shit no like he would care if it was humiliating it's some middle guy who's like i don't want to get in trouble so i'm gonna say they do that shit anywhere you go they did that shit when i was in uae i didn't fucking look at it i'll never look at a list once in my life i'll perform wherever my fans are i don't give a fuck like that's my take on it is like i'm gonna perform wherever my fans are i don't give a fuck what their governments do i'm gonna perform for my fans simple as that that's what it is i just happen to have fans over there there are a lot of guys who like can't perform outside of Brooklyn who were like, I would never go.

1:19:38It's like, no one was asking you. Right. No one's inviting you. Yeah. You also don't have to. Right. But it might be different if you got like tons of DMs of people going, please come out here. We've been watching your special. We've been doing all these things. You're like, oh, that'd be really awesome to come perform for you guys. Yeah. But the idea is you're being paid by a dictator. Good. My fans get a discount. It's not like they didn't have to pay for the tickets. Do you know what I mean? Like there's just a little added on top from the family. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So it is what it is.

1:20:08Bro, this comic out there said the funniest shit. It's fucked up. He said the funniest shit. And I was like, yeah, so what do you think about them, you know, chopping up that journalist? He goes, they chopped up one journalist so women can drive.

1:20:21Oh, no. I was dying, bro. I was dying. Bro, when we were out there, it was so funny. That is true. Like, MBS, that's not true. But it is true that MBS is the reason why women can drive. The other guy, the NBM was the guy who was going to be more conservative. But yeah, so it's like, it was so funny because when we were out there, there are chicks driving now, obviously. You know what I mean? How are they doing? Well, we got in one accident, two female drivers.

1:20:52They're new at it. Bro, so it's like, we got out the car and you could see the look on their faces, the parts of their faces you could see. And they were just like, damn, man, everybody's going to know. And it was, but it's funny. They said they get the girls all like Chinese cars. And I was like, why do they drive the Chinese cars? And they're like, ah, it's the cheapest cars. They're just figuring this shit out. They just started driving. Like imagine you're 50 and you just start driving tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. No, they figure that shit out. But yeah, it was fun, man. I don't know.

1:21:23Like I don't even know if people care because like you see this shit online and like everybody feels like they need an opinion on it. I even see comics going like, a lot of people have been asking my opinion on it. So, like, I need to give your fucking opinion. Have they really been asking? Like, what are you talking about? Nobody's asking a fucking opinion. It's almost to the point where, and then I ask, like, any regular people. They're like, they don't really care because they're watching, like, the six best tennis guys perform in Saudi this weekend. And golfers and race car drivers. And UFC and boxing and everything.

1:21:53So it's just like, how much do you, and they just put a billion dollars into, like, a Hollywood movie studio. Uh-oh. So I'm, like, I'm screenshotting. Everybody who talks, I'm screenshot because I'm waiting for you to do a movie with it. I'm waiting. I'm petty. I don't forget. You forgive. You know what I mean? You have somebody on your pod who had someone on their pod talking shit. You're better than me. Yeah. You're better than me. You got to be able to just let things go. I can't wait for Gavin Newsom to go on Bad Friends. I want to see the I'm distancing myself from the Rogan Sphere tour. First stop, Bad Friends.

1:22:29That's hilarious. I thought that was corny. Yeah. I thought it was corny. Yeah, we talked about that. I don't know. It is what it is. You're more forgiven. There's no time that you should, in my mind, no time that you should be spending on these kind of conflicts. It's like pointless. It's wasted energy. Yeah, but it's fun to talk some shit. Well, you know, when I decided to talk shit about Maren was after the Theo thing. After Theo kind of went off the rails. Yeah. And Theo went off the rails right after Marin put him in his special. Yeah. You know? You know my issue with that joke in the special?

1:23:07It was just like what Twitter says. Uh-huh. It wasn't even like a creative angle. No, it's not good. It was just like literally what every tweet would say. Meanwhile, it was one of the funniest jokes he's ever made because it's an impression of a really funny guy. Exactly. Yeah, you've got to rely on Theo's impression. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I just, I don't know. Like my whole thing with Maren is like I think that like people outside of comedy have this idea of him. But like everybody inside comedy knows he's a piece of shit. And they've known it for years. And like this is not just like us. No.

1:23:37You know like there's that I mean there's that great like Jon Stewart story about their thing. Which is like I don't even know what people know. But like Jon took that MTV show and Maren like ripped him for it. How you sell out you piece of shit. How dare you do it. And then when Jon leaves to go do another show guess who takes over that same show? Maren. That's who we're dealing with. So it's like it's one of these things where like inside the game, we all know who the pieces of shit are. And we just go, we roll our eyes. This is how Marc Maron works. He sees you get successful. He feels bad.

1:24:07So he comes up with a reason why you're bad. Exactly. And he'll find some like intellectualization of it to justify his bitterness. You want to know what he hit me with with Fear Factor? What do you say? You're taking jobs away from comedians who would be writing on sitcoms. How? What? What? Because I'm doing a reality show. So the reality show, which is number one show in the country, if it didn't exist. That was a Trump moment right there. Number one! It was the best! But when the idea was that somehow or another this is stealing. It's the dumbest justification. You're just angry, bro. You didn't look at it at all.

1:24:48You didn't have any insight. You didn't step back and go, okay, let me reflect on this. Does this make any sense? Because it doesn't make any sense because those people are doing a job outside of comedy. Exactly. Just like me. I'm doing a job outside of comedy, too. But you can't even give it any credence. It's like every criticism he has, he's guilty of. He's like, how dare you have presidents on the pod and have fun with them? And it's like, you had Obama before anybody. You started this. You didn't ask Obama anything about fucking drone strikes or whatever. And frankly, I love Obama. I just want to point that out.

1:25:17I actually really do. And I know there's probably fucked up shit that anybody in power got to do. But I genuinely, I like him. I love him as a statesman. I think he was the best statesman we've ever had. You just felt good. Yes. You just felt good. We felt like he's a great representative of America. 100%. He's as intelligent and measured as anybody who's ever held the office. Better than any. Like, Clinton, when he was young, was really good. I think Obama was another level. Yes. I think Obama was another level. Anyway, but it's like, yeah, you did it. You did the thing. You did the exact same thing.

1:25:46Talk all this shit about, like, oh, we got him. We just had him on recently. You didn't ask him anything. Of course he did. Anything like, would you have repealed the Smith-Munt Act if you knew the consequences of it? No, not to me. Of course not, because we know, because we're inside. Well, this is the thing. He positions himself as his intellectual, but he doesn't say anything interesting. There's nothing that guy ever says where I'm like, wow, that's a unique insight. That's the thing. Fucking never. It's childish with a good vocabulary. No, I think he's a smart guy. I think he's probably smarter than he is funny.

1:26:19I think that drives him crazy. Yeah, but he's also too obsessed with himself to be reflective enough to understand why other people don't like him. Wait, you're saying the guy who talks by himself for five minutes before the president comes on? 15 minutes? If there wasn't for Fast Forward, there would be no Maripagas. Yeah. It was just the rant. Exactly. Just the rant. Imagine. But anyway, so it's just like - The rant is what killed the show, by the way. If he didn't have the rant, he probably wouldn't be like bottom 200. I think better shows came out. And it's just like, that's just the nature of the game.

1:26:52There's that too. But it's also like, he's not that good at talking to people. He's not nice. So I don't know. My whole feeling about it is just like, we know, like we know who the pieces of shit are in our industry. Right. And like, we're aware of it because we've seen them from the jump. Like if I'm sitting down with a comedian, right. And like, this is why I don't fuck with a lot of them. It's like, if you immediately start talking shit about your co-host to me when I'm sitting down with you, like, I got to start questioning your integrity a little bit. It's like, that's your boy. Like, why are you shit talking your boy?

1:27:20to me right so it's yeah but you saw this a lot of these guys man you saw it you saw a lot of these guys you saw and they and it's and it's like i think a lot of this is just salvation to be honest with you yeah it's like they see an internet trend and i think that like like right now there's this internet turn oh the fucking manosphere blah blah blah blah and i think i see guys who you were very generous to like you lent your platform your millions of followers the biggest show on the planet help them make tons of money help them really have success build their own platforms and now they see like an internet trend about like the manosphere or whatever and i see guys like trying to create a little separation i see all of a sudden it's like yeah you you use this guy to make millions of dollars and get all these fans and now you see online outrage and you're like oh no that's them that's not me it's like you had no problem being part of the avengers you know what i mean you had no problem being in the photos you had no problem before and now you You see a little shit going on.

1:28:17You separate. I feel like that's the moment you double down for your boy. That's the moment you go, I know that person. What people are saying about him isn't real. And you refute that. That's what I would do. I mean, whatever. There's a lot of cowards out there in the world. And it's just, they're scared. They're scared. And this is like a time of real attacks. Like in the past, like say in the 90s or something like that, if you supported Andrew Dice Clay or something like that, you didn't really get any heat. Nobody cared. You could do an interview and you're like, I think Dice is hilarious.

1:28:48You wouldn't like lose sponsors. You wouldn't. Nothing would happen. But now there'll be like an organized campaign to try to take you out. Oh, yeah. With bots. Yeah. People don't even think the bots thing is real. You pay for it. You can hire them. And why? And there's other countries that are involved in that shit, too. Not to be like, it's not even conspiratorial. But like, I think a little bit. That's what the comedy festival, the Riyadh thing was a little bit. Probably. Because it was so peculiar. It's like they're so they're already so entrenched into like our entertainment. And then all of a sudden we went out.

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1:30:12And favorite scent from the world's number one antiperspirant brand. Sometimes something gets a little bit of buzz, and then people, you know, send the bots to create a little friction or separation. And then people hop on board. Exactly. They pile on. They have to because they see those views there. I had Palmer Luckey on the podcast yesterday. I saw. And he was discussing that. He was discussing these, like, organized campaigns. Oh, what do you say? Affecting people's minds. Well, it's just that this is part of, like, what China does to keep us at each other's throats. Yeah. It's literally a strategy.

1:30:41And people are so stupid that they're going to let a 30 second TikTok dictate their opinions about the world. Like they're not fact checking. They're not doing anything about it. Like and there are people that like consider themselves journalists that will do it. 100 percent. Like there's this this little Nepo baby. He's like Kennedy's grandkid or some shit like that. That was like talking all shit about it. One thing he said is that like because I called him a Nepo baby because he never had a job. I don't care if your dad's but if you never had a real job like you know. Like, why are you telling people who have real jobs what to do and how they should vote and what they should do with their lives?

1:31:13Like, you don't know how much the electorate. Yeah, you're a child. And then he goes, oh, Schultz is, you know, married into the Turner dynasty. Like, my wife's name is Turner. He thinks that my wife's family is like Turner, Ted Turner. Like, this is a guy who his job is journalist. he calls himself a journalist and he couldn't even do the bare minimum he saw another TikTok that said something that's completely untrue the Turner Dynasty let's go Ted, cough it up if you've been hiding but this is the level discourse and then that shit hits TikTok and then people start repeating things there's just so much fake shit the dumb thing is you were already rich when you got married the dumb thing is it's not her family It's not her family, but even if it was if you marry the child of a rich family you already rich Like it was stupid.

1:32:11Yeah, it's stupid like this is why I made no no no bitch He was already famous shut the fuck up It just it just doesn't make any sense and you see these narratives they take hold and then they just become Reality, uh-huh, and and it's one of those things like you can't fight the internet No, you know, it's just like people say things and then they just become they like just become reality it's like fascinating and like i've seen it happen with you and then i think that there's like there's obviously these different levels in comedy so you don't imagine it happening to yourself and then you're in it uh-huh yeah and yeah it's just wild man this is wild like i'm like there's a there's this there's these people who say that like uh i remember when i bought back the special and then i then i sold it yes and then they're like he sold and then he put it out on youtube it's like there's literally a video of me going if you can't afford it, steal it.

1:33:01And if you can't figure out how to steal it, I'll put it up on YouTube. It's like I can't be more clear. Right. But it's a way funnier narrative to be like, oh, this is what happened, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just like, guys. He got your money and then he put it up for free on YouTube and he's getting more money. I'm saying steal it if you can't afford it and then I'm going to put it up on YouTube in the future. And it's like, what do I do in that situation? Listen, man, I went to see SpaceX launch on Monday. Jamie and I went down there. We went down to South Texas, watched the rocket launch.

1:33:33It's one of the most impressive things I've ever seen in my life. I got a tour of the SpaceX facility. One of the most impressive things I've ever seen in my life. I sat with Elon in the command studio where they're going over the rocket as it's flying to Australia. We watched it live using Starlink satellites 60 different fucking cameras of everything monitoring every single aspect of the internal pressure of the chambers and all these different things and then I was watching a video Someone calling him a fuck wit. I think he's a fuck wit. This guy was like I think he's a fuck wit His rockets keep blowing up like the rockets are literally blowing up on purpose because they're testing the parameter They're testing.

1:34:19What are the tolerances of these structures? Oh, so they're pushing the limit to see where it is. 100%. He's like, we know we're going to blow some up. But they can produce rockets so much faster than NASA. And you think he's a fuckwit? But it doesn't matter. It's not real. Like, I saw comedians say that he was a Nazi. He's a Nazi because he said, my heart goes out to you. Because he did the thing that they all do. Right, right, right. It looked crazy. It looked crazy. It looked crazy. But doing the thing doesn't make you a Nazi. Believing what Nazis believe makes you a Nazi. And I think that's the separation.

1:34:57I think that like once you have an idea of somebody, you can't wait to confirm it. And the internet is full of 30 second clips that will confirm whatever you believe. And they will be sent right to your phone. I've been thinking about it recently. Remember when cigarettes came out or even fast food? When we were going up, was fast food unhealthy? It was just food. It was just food. We just ate it as food. This generation knows that it's unhealthy. They don't stop eating it, but at least they're aware, right? They know the nutrition facts. We're about to go through what I think is like that with internet content.

1:35:31Yes. If a video gets sent to your phone from an account you don't follow, the immediate reaction should be like, this is a Big Mac. I'll indulge in it, but it's not nutritious. Right. Do you know what I mean? Like there's a reason why it's being sent, right? It's going to confirm whatever biases I have. It's either going to scare me or it's going to make me really happy. There's going to be this dopamine release and i think that we need to start realizing that like the second i see any video on the internet now outside of peanut butter peanut butter i love love my man peanut butter but like i'm i'm immediately skeptical i'm like what exactly is happening here why is this being sent to me what is this confirming like that's my immediate reaction i think that the next generation at least kids will definitely look at things like that i hope i think a big factor is podcasts because we talk about this stuff and they might not be talking about it with their friends their friends might not know and so when we're talking like don't trust everything you need to understand a lot of this is outrage farming they're doing it on purpose and they're doing it specifically to try to get us at each other's throats don't fall into it don't be a sucker don't be a sucker you know or there's people that are like they're just doing it because they need views and clicks you know like this is yeah and that's something that i realized is like there's this like there's this like beautiful little time in comedy where like you're everybody's hero right because you're the unsung hero like everybody feels like they they're the only ones that know about you and they are the only ones that know what you're doing and like everybody's riding and then you do eventually some people if you're lucky enough and fortunate enough to transcend it where like your name can be part of pop culture and the benefit of that is like you get to provide for your family you get to live your dreams you get to do fucking arenas it's amazing there's a negative that we have to put up with i'm not fucking complaining it's awesome but like the negative is your name can be attached to any story your pictures attached to any story like bro i saw there was a video on the internet where it was like joe rogan uh ripping on his guests and it's a picture of me and you and i'm like when the fuck did this happen like i watched the video we ain't even in it together Yeah, all the time.

1:37:40It's you. I see that. It's you and the guy who didn't understand if you're born a man or a woman. I forget what it was called. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like that guy's face isn't going to get clicks. Right. Me and you, homies going at it, is going to get – right? Yeah, outrage farming. That is the internet in a microcosm. And I'm not saying that you need to – I believe maybe more personal accountability. I'm not saying we should make the internet change what it is. The internet is going to be what it is. We just got to be aware of what we're consuming. Don't ban fast food. Just be aware that when you eat a Big Mac, you might not feel as good as when you eat a fucking chicken salad.

1:38:16It's not healthy, but have fun. You want to watch like Colombian assassinations and grainy security video cameras? Have at it. Have at it. I like it too. I like to watch. I mean, look at my phone. It's mostly like assassinations and tits. Bro, the amazing thing about it is like nobody thinks they have radical thoughts because they're so normalized by every video confirming your thought. Right. So it's like I used to think like Lichen Feet was unique. You know what I mean? I scroll on Instagram for a little bit. I'm like, we're all into this. There's refined cultural people out there. Yeah. And I think that's it with every political idea.

1:38:57that's it with every cultural idea we are a hundred percent rewarded in what we think and then people say shit out loud and then it becomes like a crazy story yes yeah i honestly i think that's what happened to a lot of folks with with riyadh is that like there was a lot of comics that were in that like stage before pop culture and they got their first experience of like internet backlash because they're like like jessica kurson jessica who's fucking hilarious I'm sure you've got like like literally hilarious I've had her on a bunch of times a lover lesbian very funny Jewish super nice person Apparently crushed out there.

1:39:34Yeah. I heard you got a standing ovation crushed. Yeah, okay Um And like to me, I'm like I've maybe made different view of these things It's like I think that like Western culture is so addictive Like once you get a taste of this shit like this is what you want And I think there's a version of looking at this thing where like in 10 years later They go yeah, we need to we need to have more of this and we need to have more people making fun of us and we didn't have more people making fun of themselves and this is beautiful cultural exchange. Maybe that's like looking through rose-colored glasses, but that's how I look at these things.

1:40:01Yeah. And I'm going, and then she's experiencing that backlash because she never has, and I think she goes, I toiled in obscurity for decades being hilarious but not having a fan base. I finally got one. And then you feel that internet backlash. You think that's real, and you're like, oh, my God, I'm going to lose everything that I've always dreamed. I need to address this. When in reality, if you put your head down for two weeks. Goes away. Nobody will care. Yeah. There's a tennis tournament. That's Chris Rock's quote. What does he say? I've heard somebody say something similar to that. He says - I thought you told me that, actually.

1:40:32I thought you said, like, I just don't look at my phone. Well, I don't. I don't. But Chris's take on it was wait two weeks before you respond to anything. Yeah. And most likely to blow away. If it's still around after two weeks, then address it. Make a comedy special about it. Yeah! He went in a year! Yeah, that's true. He stewed! He stewed on that shit. He kind of milked it in the best way because if you think about it, He got to tour that thing for a year and everybody was showing up to the shows because they're like oh I need to say People were filming it though. That was the problem. Yeah, some people pulled out their fucking phone and ruined the fun Yeah, but I get why he's like I might as well tour this shit.

1:41:08I'm not gonna just address it right now Let's go also cook it Like make sure that bit is fucking you got the right seasoning in there You get that fucking thing over the stove make that Sunday sauce, baby. Let's go make that ragu Let's go. Yeah. It's a weird time for comedy, man. It's a fun time for comedy. Ari Shafir said it best. What did he say? He said, comedy's dangerous again. Yeah. This is what Ari loves. He loves chaos. That silly motherfucker. He loves when things go sideways. I love chaos, too, but not that much. He likes when the city burns down, because he'll put on a backpack and go to Asia.

1:41:46Yeah, he gets to just dip. He really leaves it. He dips. He's dipped right now. I don't know where he is. he's hiding somewhere in the world yeah he'll he'll dip for like three four months i'll throws his phone away he ruins our text message thread because we got to protect our parks and he turned the whole thing green so i opened up a new text message thread that's called fuck ari so it's just me and norman and jane it's like he's he's a legit wild boy but he said it right he said uh comedy's dangerous again and it is dangerous but but it's only dangerous if you let it be like for the for people like Jessica I wish she talked to me I would have said don't listen to anybody don't read the comments yeah fuck those people you what you're doing is the Lakota people had a term called the Hayoka and a Hayoka was a special member of society that made fun of everybody it was an important part of their culture he made fun of the chief he made fun of the chief's wife he made fun of everyone yeah and the idea was if you couldn't mocked something that it was bullshit.

1:42:48And so he was stress testing all of these different things. So that was, it was called the sacred clown. That was their definition of what a hayoke is. This is like built into American culture. It's like American culture specifically. It's like why I want Trump to do the, what's that little like news dinner? Press court. Yeah, White House press correspondence. It's like why I want him to do it because, look, we have a relationship with government in America that from its inception is antagonistic. Yes. Right? Like, we fought the war because we're like, you don't get to tell us what to do. And then we set up systems of government that basically stopped one person from telling us what to do.

1:43:25And then we have this great thing where once a year, the guy who's in charge, the most powerful guy, gets humbled in front of all of us. And it's this beautiful thing that is, like, uniquely American. I know there's somebody right now who's in France. We've been doing this forever. Shut the fuck up. To me, it's uniquely us. It's our thing. And I love the idea of, like, humbling our heroes. It's why roasts work. It's why seeing like Tom Brady, whoever it was, like on the roast. And the more powerful, the more successful, the more that they've got. We like that kind of humbling because we have that antagonistic relationship with, you know, the people in charge or even our heroes.

1:44:01It's a beautiful fucking thing. And afterwards, we kind of embrace those people even more. We appreciate that you were taken to your knees, if you will, in that moment. Did you ever see when Jeff Ross and Comedy Central, they roasted Trump? Yeah, I've seen, obviously, clips. He had a conversation with Trump. What did he say? He said, hey, when they're going after you, just laugh. You got to laugh. You got to smile. If they look over at you and you got a serious look on your face, it's not good. He's like, okay, yeah, you're right. He realized. He's like, yeah, you got to laugh it off. You got to let it go.

1:44:31You got to let it go. You got to let it go. And, you know, that's the White House press correspondence. You got to be able to let it go. Let it go. Let it rip. Make fun of them. Make fun of everybody. Make fun of the press corps. But it's this beautiful, humbling thing. But the thing about Trump is like the White House press correspondence thing is literally why he became president in the first place. Yeah, I remember that. When Obama was like, here's one thing that I am that you'll never be. President of the United States. Yeah. I mean, if that's how it works, Trump will never have free health care.

1:45:03You'll never do that. I promise you. Yeah. You'll never stop every war. Right. That's what you have to do. Yeah. You have to challenge him. But yeah, I just, I think, I think those things are really important. I just think they're important, like cultural institutions for us specifically. It doesn't work the same in other places that don't have that kind of antagonistic relationship with government. Right. There are places that they just do not have it. Like they actually have like a really grateful and appreciative relationship. Or their government doesn't have any free speech law. Like England.

1:45:34Like what England's going through right now is crazy. That's the thing I was trying to tell people is like when people keep talking about free speech, it's like stop acting like that's the norm. We're the unique ones. Yes. In Canada, they don't have free speech. They have free freedom of expression or something like that. Yeah, but it's carved out with like certain things like hate crimes or hate speech. I mean. Hate speech is weird because it's very subjective. Who defines it was hate. Exactly. Right. So it's like and I remember when them truckers were protesting, they were freezing the accounts like.

1:46:03There's just. Yeah. It's just a uniquely American thing, which is amazing. And we need to protect it at all costs. 100%. And we need to protect it and propagate it through the world. And that's why we should get upset when England starts cracking down on free speech. Because that's a disease. And if that disease spreads, and if England falls, and all of a sudden England is essentially a totalitarian dictatorship. If they're a totalitarian dictatorship, we're in real fucking trouble, man. I don't think we are. But I get that logic. like I get this idea that like things are trendy. No we aren't right now.

1:46:39No no I mean like even I hear what you're saying like and trends do build steam and then people ask for it and they see other things working I get that like I think that makes sense like functionally in the world you know what I mean but like my shit is like I care about American free speech that's what I go for I'm an American I want us to be all good if the other countries want to get on board with it alright get on board with it that'd be great. The problem is they bring that shit over here just like when people. Keep that shit over there. Let me tell you something in the night like 2015 2015 16 when I started talking shit about college campuses people like what are you worried about these kids on college campuses with these Marxist ideas I was like they're gonna graduate like I'm a I'm a person who sees like where things are moving which is why I got out of California so early I was like I see where this is going you got to get the fuck out now This is not good and I'm like they're gonna get out of this school They're gonna start working for corporations and it's gonna flood the country with these nonsensical ideas.

1:47:32They're going to be in positions of power, 100 %? 100%. And these corporations are going to bend to whatever makes them the most money? Right, which is why it's dangerous if England goes. If England goes, if England completely falls, like they just passed the digital, or they're trying to force the digital ID on people, and they have arrested 12 ,000 people for social media posts, and some of them are just critical about the amount of immigration that's coming in, and they're putting them in jail for this. Yeah. So if that is a trend and that starts spreading through Europe and they lock those people down because those people don't have guns, they don't have free speech laws, they don't have any of the things that protect us.

1:48:08Yeah. So you're worried about them in terms of it becoming a trend and then impacting us. Exactly. Because if it becomes a trend for the entire world and we're the only and they're like the problem, the consequences of free speech is an unsafe society. Yeah. We have to protect the marginalized groups. You know how that ends that ends with a military dictatorship and all those people that help them get into play all those Leftists they all get killed Because they're the people that are gonna resist the government having this kind of tyrannical power that they helped them get in the first place That's what Castro did.

1:48:44That's what they all do They use the leftist to get into positions of power and then once they take over come with everybody Fuck you. Okay, that's a fair argument that you're bringing on how it could impact us. It's a wolf with a grandma outfit on. Yeah, yeah. That's what it is. Yeah, yeah. It's big mama's house. Yeah, it's a wolf. Yeah. Tyler Perry presents Marxism for Americans. But no, I hear that because I guess my initial thing on initially was like, yo, if you guys want free speech, fight for it. We fought for it. People shed blood for it. They constantly are fighting for it nonstop. You guys go fight for it.

1:49:23Vote those people out first. No, no, no. I don't mean— That's what the problem is, like, saying that. I know. If I say that, then I'll think— I meant for, like, America, like, as a nation state, has constantly fought to maintain this thing and went through incredibly difficult times to do it because it's, like, a core tenet to our belief and our identity. And if other countries want that, they have to put in that same effort through politics. I'm not saying go be violent or anything like that. Right, right, right. But the way we fought for it, we fought for it. We banged out. We banged out. It got rough.

1:49:54But we're wild boys. That's why I'm not worried about like we are the collection of the craziest people on the planet. Bro, England used to be the wildest motherfuckers on earth. One island took over most of the world. And now they're just arguing with wigs on. Like what the fuck happened? Does this happen in every country? Did you see the guy with the wig that sentenced the guy to 20 months of custodial service because he was complaining about immigrants? Have you seen that video? No. It is the craziest video because it is 2025 or 2024, and it's a guy wearing a wig who's sentencing a guy for a 20-month sentence who just made a post criticizing immigrants.

1:50:38Yeah. Well, what was he saying about the immigrants? Well, he was talking about these gangs of guys are coming in from the places they bomb the fuck out of. Oh, they wouldn't be upset at all. Yeah. Why would they be worried about it? Listen, you got to listen to this guy. See if you can find that video of that guy. Because it's him wearing the wig is so crazy. Yeah. And while he's saying something that's so insane in the age of the Internet and it's on TikTok. This is like, oh, I don't care what they cut out of it. Like just him saying it, I don't care what context it is. He's reading off the guy's tweets and then saying, because of what you said, I have no choice but to sentence you to jail.

1:51:23People to participate in attacks on a hotel housing asylum seekers. Comments that encouraged was over comments that encouraged every man and their dog should be smashing the fuck at a Britannia hotel. The judge quotes one of his parlor posts responding to a user who said, I'm down if you are a lad. So that he was starting, oh, so he was inciting violence. I mean, don't tell people to go hurt people. Your motivation became clear when you informed the police. You promoted the idea of attacking the Britannia Hotel as a result of anger and frustration and immigration problems in the country. So what was his post, though?

1:51:59Oh, this is it. You want to say that you do not want your money going to immigrants who rape our kids and get priority. The judge later said the overall effect your post was to incite violence toward the building and therefore towards those in the hotel. It was not only the refugees and asylum seekers who are likely to be affected by your post, but also the hotel managers, the night porters and those who worked within the hotel. That's actually reasonable that in that case. I see what you're saying. I don't. Yeah. So incitement to violence is illegal, even in America. Right. Like it's like it's a different thing than just freedom of speech.

1:52:32Yeah. So that's that is different. Yeah, you shouldn't tell people to hurt people. The guy wearing the wig. Yeah, it makes it look insane. It's like, you have to have a special outfit for me to take you seriously. Because if you're just like a regular guy and you're saying you were inciting violence, and then the guy go, yeah, but do you know what the people in that hotel did? Let me tell you what they've done. They've raped underage girls. They have grooming gangs. They live there. They're getting priority. They're getting paid our money. They're on the dole. You could even have a conversation.

1:53:02This guy's yelling out to the abyss on parlor because he doesn't know where else to go. And this guy's going, well, the solution to that is I put you in a cage. Look at that. It was on his wig. Put the thing on so you could hear this. Off the tax us hardworking people earn when it could be put to better use. Come over here with no work visa, no trade to their name, and sit down and dos. and then there's more people being put out homeless each year. They get top banned priority on housing. You went on to say that you did not want your money going to immigrants who, quote, rape our kids and get priority, end quote.

1:53:52Although you said that you had no intention of carrying out any act of violence, there can be no doubt that you were inciting others to do so. Otherwise, why post the comment? You expressed remorse, but by that time it was too late. For the offence of publishing written material in order to stir up racial hatred, there are sentencing guidelines which I must and will follow. The maximum sentence is seven years' imprisonment. In my judgment, this comes close to harm Category 1. However, for the purposes of this sentence, I will treat you as falling into Category 2, since there was no direct encouragement towards activity which threatens or endangers life.

1:54:52However, you fall towards the top of Category 2. For a Category 2A offence, the starting point is two years imprisonment with a range between one and four years custody. In mitigation, I take into account your plea of guilty for which you will receive full credit of one third following your earlier admissions. I take account of the contents of the references from your mother, friend and employer. These can only be of limited value in the current circumstances, as can the contents of the pre-sentence report. I take account, too, of your expression of remorse, your lack of convictions which are racially aggravated.

1:55:44As is recognized on your behalf, this offense is so serious that an immediate custodial sentence is unavoidable. The sentence that I pass has been reduced by one third to reflect your guilty plea. The sentence is one of 20 months imprisonment. In response to this, we get it. This is tricky because the guy did incite violence. But yeah, you shouldn't be doing it. you know yeah you should you shouldn't be doing i think a lot of people are very naive of what the impact of a post if they're an anonymous person yeah you know they're very naive of how that's going to be perceived and you know they're just venting like they would be venting at the barbershop right if they're hanging out the barbershop like fuck those people someone should go over there and kick their ass yeah yeah yeah yeah people are looking for people also looking for community They're looking to feel like validated in their beliefs.

1:56:44It is pretty wild that these people are coming over to Europe and even to America as a direct result of military campaigns. So that's the other thing I found so funny is that like. They're not going over there because where they live is awesome. And like there's reasons why it's not awesome. And there needs to be a little accountability for that. Like I heard even like British comedians, they were like, you know, shitting on doing the Saudi or even like shows in the Middle East. And they're like, they employ people at slave wages, et cetera, build it. And it's just like, guys, I wonder what happened.

1:57:20I wonder what country did something to India back in the day that created a scenario where those people might have to leave their country to get a job to afford to provide food for their whole families back in India. I wonder what country might have plundered India and stripped it of all of its wealth for fucking I don't even know how long that created this scenario like you can't just remove yourself from that Have you ever read that book about that one corporation? Yeah, was it the That basically that that turned India into a country like a factory essentially Yeah, well what was it was that not a gotta forget the name I've read the book a while ago.

1:57:58I saw like a YouTube video on this. Well, I should say I listened to it I listened to the book a while ago. I can't remember the name of the corporation. Jamie, you've got to hold this down. It is a crazy story, though. And that's England. So you guys, your ancestor did it. You know, the chickens have come home to roost. It doesn't mean that you have to be okay with it. But you have to at least be understanding of how this scenario was created. Yeah. Yeah. But it's also, clearly they're letting them in. And they're letting them in. And the thing is like, oh, we've got to do something to stop this violence.

1:58:32Now we have Rise of East India Company. That's it. The Anarchy. The Relentless Rise of the East India Company. Crazy book. Oh, dude. And it's all real. Like what fucking Leopold did to the Congo? Oh, God. It's like 25 million people. Oh, God. Yeah. The Congo thing is nuts, man, because a bunch of these settlers thought that they were going to live in the Congo and they set up these beautiful mansions. And the forest just came. They just swallowed it up. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. Just let them know you're not welcome. One of the truly wild places in the world. There's still images of these places, these like Elizabethan, is that the type of architecture?

1:59:08That are just completely swallowed. Swallowed by the jungle. And what's crazy is the wildest part of the world is where we need to go to get the minerals to make the batteries in your cell phone. Maybe that's why it's the wildest? No, no, no. It was always wild. It's wild because it's like inhospitable. I mean, they have the largest chimpanzees in the world there. They have those Bondo apes there. in the Congo, in this place called Beely. They have this one subset of chimpanzees that's really large, and they call them lion killers. They have two different types of chimps that the locals describe, tree beaters and lion killers.

1:59:41The lion killers, they sleep on the ground like gorillas. They don't give a fuck. They don't have to hide in trees. They're like, come get me, bitch. They're like six foot tall, upright chimpanzees. You know that Michael Crichton book, Congo? Did you ever read? No, no. They made a movie. Crichton's Jurassic Park? Yes. Crichton made a movie, it was kind of a goofy movie, about the Congo. And the Congo, in the movie, there's these gray chimpanzees that are huge. And obviously that's not real. But that's what they're based on. But it's based on this one subset of chimpanzees that actually has a crest on its skull like a gorilla.

2:00:15So gorillas have such large mandible, because all they eat is vegetables, that they have this, this is the Michael Crichton movie. It was kind of goofy. Look at these big, silly gorillas. Oh, wow. And they fucked this dude up. It looks so bad. Oh, wow. But the book is a lot better. But in reality, there's a thing called the Bondo ape. And there's a, I guess there's a Swedish or Swiss wildlife photographer named Carl Armand who became obsessed with this animal and started catching it in camera traps. And there was photos of these guys that, see if you can find the photo of the guys at the airport where they shot one.

2:00:52So these guys, look at this, these guys, but that's not it. No, no, no. The one above it. No. Yeah, that's it. Look at the size of that fucking thing. Look at the size of that thing. It's like a gorilla-sized chimpanzee. And there's different photos of them on camera traps where they're— Holy shit. No, no. That's an actual— That's an orangutan, I think. Or a gorilla. But they have video of these things now. They know that they're a subset of chimpanzees. That's not a really big one. That looks like just a big chimp. But the idea is that this place is, like, rugged. I mean, this is leopards and it's scary.

2:01:34But, like, Joe, there's a lot of rugged places. I just feel like when there's a place that's resource-rich, there's going to be a lot of conflict around it. Oh, well, that's the Amazon, too. Yeah. Same kind of situation. Like, really wild, pristine jungle. And then people are hacking it down because they want to make cattle farms and, you know, log. But like isn't it to the best interest of the parties that are invested in the resources there for there not to be social cohesion? Like it's easier to manage if everybody's fighting because if there is social cohesion, you have a situation like – what is it?

2:02:05Rhodesia, which just basically goes, hey, we're going to be a great country by the way. And we're going to take back our mining rights and we're going to make sure that we own our resources and we're going to educate our people and we're going to have a high GDP. Like there's a pretty amazing story that's tied into it. And like they're like, OK, well, we can't let that happen in the Congo. We got to keep this shit a little bit chaotic. Yes. Because aren't there like especially with the battery stuff, aren't there like only nine different mines for that? And like China owns seven or something. Something like that.

2:02:35I don't know how many mines there are, but China owns a bunch of them. And, you know, that's Siddharth Kara wrote a book on it. He came in and he got undercover footage that shows these people with babies on their back pulling cobalt out of the ground with like a mask over their face, like a bandana to protect themselves from the toxic fumes. I'm performing there next week. Bye. I look forward to David Cross's blog about it.

2:03:01My favorite post. The people who are not invited and don't have to even go, I really wouldn't. He probably wouldn't. David probably wouldn't. We'll see. But there's a thing. We'll see. I remember when David Cross wrote a letter to Larry the Cable Guy. He was shitting on Larry the Cable Guy in like an open letter. And at the bottom of the post, it was like from New York City. He signed it like from New York City. I saw him getting upset that Norman farted on his podcast. That Mark Norman farted? Yeah, and like telling him that a fart isn't funny. And like once I see you do that, I'm just like, what have you been talking about?

2:03:40Well, first of all, Norman is funny, period. So if he's funny and he also farts, okay, who cares? Well, also farts are funny. And Norman said, he's like, that wasn't a joke. That was not funny. And then Norman says, a sound came out of my butt.

2:03:55That's always funny. It's funny when a baby does it. It's funny when an adult does it. It is the funniest thing. What are we fucking talking about here? Like, obviously. It's funny. It's funny because you're like, oh, no. Yeah. And then he just dropped the N-word on the pod and not Norman, cross. And then Norman's like, you're going to cut that out? He's like, no, you don't have to cut it out. It has the AH. And it's like, oh, well, thank you, white guy. You tell us what N-words we're allowed to say. Yeah, you can tell us where the comedians are not allowed to perform, but you tell the black community what N-words you're allowed to say.

2:04:24Yeah. It's kind of hilarious. You know, there's a hard N-word in Bob Dylan's Hurricane. I got a song the hurricane I got a little hurricane story you want to hear really yeah you met that guy No. My dad interviewed his lawyer. Reuben Carter's lawyer? Yeah. Really? And his lawyer says, off the record? My dad goes, yeah. He goes, he did that shit.

2:05:01I probably shouldn't even say it right now. But the lawyer just tells my dad, he's like, yeah. Bob Dylan just made it all racial. He did it. Yeah, that's hilarious. Who knows? Maybe the lawyer's wrong. Or maybe he's right. Maybe he's right. Good song. Didn't they have a movie about it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And in the movie, there's like a really racist cop that's like targeting him through the whole movie. And apparently the guy was a total construct. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There wasn't like one cop who was like really interested. He was chasing him. They use it as a vehicle to push the storyline, which I always think is gross when you're doing something about a historical person.

2:05:43Yeah. I think that's gross. Yeah. But it's also movies. You have an obligation, though. If you're making a movie about a historical person, you can't have a character that moves your plot along that didn't exist. I mean. Because now you're changing history for a lot of dumbasses who don't read a book. I mean, that's what the people who. Which is most of us. That's what the people who fucking, you know, dictate what history is. You know, I was talking to. Sort of, but they're just doing it to make the movie better. Yes, exactly. That's their responsibility is to make money. Yeah. I was talking to Shane about this and we were just talking about like ancient history.

2:06:19He's like, I don't fuck with the ancient history. And I'm like, why not? He goes, nobody really knows what fucking Augustus said to this guy. Like people just making it up and like writing it down afterwards. words is like you really kind of barely even know what happened 50 years ago or like 100 years ago and I think that's one of the reasons why if you get into like antiquity it's so interesting because it's just been like mythologized yeah so everything is so much more remarkable and amazing and the people are so much more resilient because they've been retelling the story for 2 ,000 years if you want people to listen to that story you got to make it interesting yeah no doubt yeah you You got to make it interesting.

2:06:54And the thing is also you have to remember it and then you have to tell it to people before anybody even figures out how to write things down. So they're saying it for a thousand years before they even write it down. That's my issue with the Bible. I think the Bible is a historical account of something. And I think one of the real problems with the Bible is as you get older and older with the Bible, things get weirder and weirder. So it's like, what was the original story? Like if you get to the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Dead Sea Scrolls are bananas. And there's stuff in the Dead Sea Scrolls. Like if you get like I had Rep Luna, you know, Anna Paulina Luna on the podcast.

2:07:33And she was talking to me about the Book of Enoch. She goes, you ever read that? But that's not included in the canonized. Here's why. Because of rabbis. A bunch of rabbis said it didn't align with the Torah. And so they yanked it out. But it's an original biblical text or at least a part of the original religious text that they found in the Dead Sea Scrolls in Qumran. When they found those clay tablets, the Book of Enoch was in there along with the Book of Isaiah. We need to call Wesley Huff. The Book of Enoch is nuts. I talked to Wesley Huff about it. That's the Giants one, right? It's not just the Giants.

2:08:02It's aliens. It's about the watchers who came down and mated with human beings. Bro, I'm reading it right now. I know you are. I already know. Bananas. She told me to read it. And she was like, she's like, you have to read this. It's nuts. And what did Wes Huff say? Did he say there's a legitimacy? Yeah, it's 100 % of a legitimate text. It's legitimate religious text, but they decided not to include it because it's so nuts and because it goes against like what the writings of the Torah. Right, right. But it was a few rabbis, just a few rabbis decided. Like if the book of Enoch was included in the Bible, it changes the whole story of the human race.

2:08:38Why would the rabbis decide what goes into the Christian? Because back then they had that kind of power. They just decided that it doesn't get included in the canon. This is a long time ago. But yeah, I mean, this is like around, well, who decided to canonize Bible, right? This is a really Constantine time. Right. Well, that's for the New Testament. Right. And so with the Old Testament, you've got a West Huff would be the guy to ask all these questions. Enoch was included in the Old Testament. Oh, it's old as fuck. Oh, OK. Not only is it old as fuck, when they found it, they also found a version of the book of Isaiah.

2:09:05This is one of the things that West Huff told me that was really fascinating. They found a version of the book of Isaiah that is verbatim the same as a version of the version of Isaiah that was a thousand years later, which they thought was the original. Unbelievable. That's what's crazy. For 1 ,000 years, they maintained the exact same story verbatim, writing it down and passing it on. And the Book of Enoch's in there with that. And the Book of Enoch is bananas. Yeah, I think we might need to do a little deep dive on the Book of Enoch. The Book of Enoch, it says that these watchers came down and mated with human beings and created a race of giants called the Nephilim who consumed and destroyed everything in front of them.

2:09:49Gee, that sounds like people. Yeah. That sounds a lot like people. If you got a bunch of little chimps and then you got these tall aliens and they make a fucking seven foot man, a Viking, who's like chopping off heads and lighting villages on fire and has this undesirable, unstoppable desire for conquest, that's humans. The Nephilim sounds like humans. Exactly. So they're not giants. We are the giants. And then what if the other folks - They might have been giants. It's hard to say. But what if the other folks were the Neanderthals? Because there was a time where we're living together, right? Right.

2:10:21Well, they were here before us, allegedly. Well, the question is, like, where did humans come from? This is the real question. There's a really interesting show on PBS right now called Human, where this lady goes on this journey of—it's like she's—what is her degree in? Is she an anthropologist? I believe she's an anthropologist. Or maybe some sort of biologist. But she goes over the history of the human species. It's very interesting. The migration from across the Bering Land Bridge into North America, when the oldest people started coming here, how they came here. Fascinating stuff. But that's one of those things.

2:11:00Like if you think ancient history is filled with horseshit, like ancient human history, like the humans – that's the woman's name. I don't want to fuck up her name. Ella Al-Shamahi. Shamahi, and it's on BBC and PBS. Really good show. I just started watching it. She's a paleontologist. Green genetics and taxonomy and biodiversity. But they just found recently a human skull that pushes the date of humans back another 500 ,000 years. Yeah. So it's like all they know is what they find in the fossil record. There's so little fossil record. And then they keep finding new things. Like they just found Denisovans in like 2010.

2:11:45They're like, whoa, what's this? Total new branch of the human tree. It's called Denisovans. Denisovans. Denisovans. Yeah, they found like a bunch of teeth, I think, in Asia. And they're like, what the fuck is this? And then so, or maybe it was Russia. So there's that. There's the one that they found in China, the big head people. Yeah, that's the one I was talking about. That's real recent. That's real recent. I forget what that one's called. We've done this a million times, but I always forget. But so they're always finding these new versions of humans. So how many of them really were there?

2:12:15If there's a bunch of science experiments if aliens are coming down and like let's try them where they're short really Powerful and they only eat meat and that's Neanderthals like stop We need them a little more frail so they invent things yeah, because the brutes don't invent anything Yeah, more frontal cortex. Yeah. Well, the Neanderthals had bigger brains than us. That's what's interesting. So then what part of our brain was specifically different? See, we have a very – our idea of them is that they were dumb and they couldn't talk and that they were brutes. But it doesn't seem like that's true.

2:12:55In fact, it seems like they had art. They definitely had tools and they had language. And they might have been as smart as us. They were just different. and maybe us being a little weaker is what made us smarter. Made us work collectively. Maybe we're a little more alien. Just a touch. Right. There's a little too much salt in that, Stu. Let's add a touch more of us. And, you know, it seems like the hairy, you know, 5 '7", 200-pound fucking savages with big eyes that might be able to see at night because it looks like they might have had night vision. They have huge eyeballs. Right. The Neanderthal eye sockets way bigger than ours.

2:13:33Their skull's thicker. Their bones are more dense. They might have had night vision like a dog. You know how dogs, their eyes glow when the headlights hit them? They might have had that same ability. Hmm. I mean, yeah. I don't know why. That design's too sketchy. It's just not working. They can see at night. Yeah. And then they go hunting other people. This is too much. But then we hunted them. Maybe. We might have just fucked them. I also heard we fucked them. Yeah, you had that joke, right? You're like, I got a little bit of, yeah. One more time with the monkey. But in terms of, like, the stories, like, all right, you know when a comic gets off stage and, like, they think they killed but they bombed?

2:14:14Right. Like, there could be people telling those stories in the books. There could be. Like, meaning what their rendition of what happened is in the book and that is what they truly believed happened. They might not even be delusional. I mean, they are delusional, but that's what they saw, and that's what happened to them. And history is always written by the winners. Exactly. Yeah. My version of the Bible story back in the day, I used to have this bit about Noah's Ark. I was like, the problem with the Bible is people are full of shit, and that story sucks. Yeah. It's that simple. It's like people lie all the time.

2:14:48I've never met any politician or any person who's in charge of anything that's really important that I would say never lies. so if you were back then where there's zero accountability zero video zero anything they can't even write well that's where the cross-referencing makes sense right it's like that's when you got a bunch of different people saying the same thing or similar things you start to go okay maybe this this did happen but i don't know there's something there is something about it you know like every time i go to church and like whatever something about the music i get like emotional and i i've tried to like reflect on and understand like what it is i don't know if it's like seeing people submit to this power that's greater than them i don't there's just like i get this really emotional about it i don't know what the hell it is well it's a it's a combined shared experience that you're having with all the people that are in that building too yeah there's there's something to that and i'm just like watching yeah like maybe it's like maybe i'm a little cynical and skeptical and like i can get caught up in the raw emotion of submitting to something that you cannot control and maybe there's a part of me that that really kind of like envies that and and wants to in the same way that like but because you have a lot of control i don't know if i have any but like no you do you have a lot of discipline discipline yes yeah but a person like yourself there's a lot of discipline and a lot of work ethic that doesn't come without control over yourself.

2:16:16Yes. And you want to submit and give in to something sometimes. And there's something beautiful in that. And like seeing people do it so willingly, like I get fucking emotional. It's, yeah, it's, and yeah, I've thought about it a lot. I don't know what it is, but it happens almost every time. And it's specifically with the music. Yeah. Well, I think music is a very powerful thing. I mean, that's when we were playing What Up Gangsta. I mean, come on, man. We're like, we're both on a drug. Dude, there's a - Your whole body starts moving. You're like, oh, come on. I was talking to this guy. he's a photographer for um f1 he's been doing for like 30 years and uh he you know he's been to he literally takes off one race a year to go to like this music festival he just loves music and like i asked him if he saw oasis because you know oasis is is back and um you're a fan of oasis yeah i love them and what's so interesting is happening like with with oasis specifically is uh right now we don't live in like the monoculture anymore you know like there's a thousand different silos and everybody thinks that like the thing happening in their world is the most important thing there's no like universal new rock star like justin bieber might have been like the last person that was like a musician that everybody knows there's a k-pop band that none of us can name the guys right exactly but like back in the day especially when we were growing up there were bands that were just you metallica like performing in russia you know like these things were just kind of there was a monoculture and then the internet has divided that and that just is what it is but what's kind of interesting is i feel like people are the people who did experience monoculture they're going back to these like nostalgic events it's like why existing ip movies are the only movies that work right it's like they want to feel those moments when we all were experiencing the same thing at the same time and like i'm seeing these like oasis clips like all my boys i was on a show but all my boys went to go see oasis and like there's a really interesting thing the uh the lead singer i guess is it noel or liam is the lead singer i'm such like a casual doesn't matter like he's just wearing a track suit like he's just wearing like fucking like the month and like to me i'm like that's the most rock star shit wearing the big flamboyant thing was rock star when everybody was wearing suits but now that everybody is big flamboyant just showing up in a fucking hoodie to your fucking stadium show it just lets you know like i'll do whatever it's gonna be the day we're gonna throw it back to you hundred thousand people at the same time waving.

2:18:38Yeah, I don't know.

2:18:44Oh my God, what a song. That one? For real? We're that good at singing. So what do we have to do? Cut that part out? Yeah, let's cut that part. We were just singing an Oasis song. Unfortunately, you can't hear it because of tyranny. Tyranny. And fascism. But it's, I don't know, like. I love comics throwing out that word too. That's a funny one. Throwing out fascism. Nobody even knows what that fucking word means. That's the most annoying thing. Nobody knows the definition of that shit. There's a few people online that are like political debaters that know the definition of that word. But what it is is like you're bad.

2:19:19That's it. Yeah, you're bad. You're an asshole. I'm going to call you an asshole politically. These people are bad. Yeah, and I want to sound smart when I'm calling you an asshole. I disagree with the things that you're doing. So I'm going to use this word that neither of us really know the definition of. because if you call me a fascist, I can't really say I'm not because I don't know what the fuck that shit is. Well, that's the problem with things like Antifa. Well, of course you're anti-fascist. Yeah, it's a pretty good thing. Yeah, it's like the Patriot Act. Oh, I'm a patriot. Take my rights.

2:19:49Of course I'm a patriot. Take away my rights. It's like every time a politician pushes a bill that's like the don't hurt women bill. Yes. But all it is is tax incentives for some group. That's why Trump is so ridiculous. The big, beautiful bill. It's just like everything is marked. You're going to be too big. It's beautiful. It's big. But that's the political game, man. It's a stupid fucking game. Bro, it is. And it's a stupid game to base your entire personality and identity about. That is the weird part. And people do. Oh, it's everything. People do. And they're in a life or death struggle every four years.

2:20:27Like, settle down. Because it's a zero-sum game. Power is a zero-sum game. Yeah. Right? It's just like if I think that this person is going to completely change my life and completely strip me of everything I have, anybody that supports that person and that person are completely evil. Right. And then once you think someone's evil, you can do anything to them. Right. Well, the people that have an argument about that are Mexican immigrants, especially the children of Mexican immigrants who maybe their family, maybe they're illegal because they were born here, but their parents aren't, and they realize their parents might get kicked out.

2:20:58That's scary. It's fucked up. That's scary. Yeah, I don't like the ICE stuff at all. It's not just bad. It's bad for them. And I don't know how they don't realize that this is the worst look ever. It's also a bad look for ICE. Yeah. Like ICE itself is a very important institution. Yeah. Like you want to make sure that you have a government program that can enforce the borders and also like remove people that are here illegally, especially people that are doing criminal activity. Like this is an institution that we shouldn't malign. This is one that we should be proud of. This is a good thing But then when every video coming out is like seeing these people being like torn their families and all this kind of stuff It's like yeah You're gonna have a lot of animosity towards these groups.

2:21:39I know we're having this conversation right now There's already people getting a video. Well, this is what you guys wanted This is like no one of the things I actually talked to Trump about is like how can we not do this? Like what can we do? How do we have these people living here for fucking ten years? They're paying taxes like why don't we give them a pathway to citizenship? And I specifically was like yo you own hotels you've employed these people right you know they're good people right like if you like we're entertainers like we work in fucking restaurants you know what i mean like we know we work with these people and you see them grinding like i don't know yeah that's a very frustrating thing i think their problem with it is multifaceted but i think one of the issues is the way the census works because the way the census works you get congressional seats based on the amount of people that live in an area, regardless of whether or not those people are citizens.

2:22:26So, yeah. Isn't that nuts? So if you have import, so like I say, if you import - How do you prove that they're there then if they're illegal? Because the census doesn't check to see your legality. It just counts the number of people that live in a residence. But how do you count it? Like they have to fill the census out, right? Why would they fill it out if they're here illegally? That's a good question. But they know. They know based on employment. They know it's like there's a bunch of different points of data that they get it from. That's a good question. But the point is, it doesn't matter if they're illegal.

2:22:59So if you fill out a sentence and you're illegal, it doesn't matter. It just matters how many people are in this area. And that dictates how many congressional seats you get. So you can import a bunch of people. Also, if you encourage these people to fill out the census because it's politically beneficial to your party. Right. Especially if you help those people get in. That's interesting. So if you invited them into this country, actually flew them out to that place, put them up in hotels, that kind of deal, then you can get more congressional seats because you have more human beings. So that's the argument.

2:23:27Like a lot of people chalk it up to they're giving these people voting rights. And it's like, no, that's not what's happening. They're actually increasing the amount of representatives you could have in a certain district. They are. But then we went over this yesterday in Tim Walsh's state in Minnesota. They actually passed a law where they give them driver's licenses and they could use those driver's licenses to vote. It's not legal, but someone could break the law and do it with those driver's licenses. The problem is they know that some people have. There definitely have been instances where illegal aliens have voted for whatever election.

2:24:03Right. So the question is, did they move them there for congressional seats? Did they move them there for cheap labor? did they move them there because if they they pay for these people and give them abt cards and then eventually they devise a pathway to citizenship if they get like a democrat in in four years we have to take care of our community regardless of whether you if you're a good person a hard-working person we want you to join team america and that's how i feel that's how i feel and so then all of a sudden those people who you gate got in gave abt cards put them up in the roosevelt now those people are voting right and obviously they're gonna vote for the people who have protected them and hundred percent I wouldn't blame them for that at all especially now this is why it's politically dangerous for the Republicans because this supportive ice and seeing that that you just lost the whole Latino base right yeah except the hardcore Cubans don't give a fuck yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah fuck out of here yeah we ain't voting Democrat that was the joke I had it's like the second they put their foot on dry land they're like We got to stop this immigration.

2:25:05This is too much, Scott. This is too much. Especially from communist countries. Get the fuck out of here with those ideas. They've experienced communism, and that's why they embrace materialism. Cubans love Cuban links. Big-ass gold chains to let a motherfucker know I got some cheddar. Yeah. Right? Because in their country, you get what they give you, and that's it. I heard a good quote. You know Carlos Slim is? You've heard of Carlos Slim? He's like a telecommunication magnate. He's a wealthiest guy to Mexico, but they own all over the world. He's like a super billionaire. And apparently, this is a secondhand, but he's this guy who I don't know what he looks like, but I'm aware of his name.

2:25:47He's incredibly powerful, incredibly successful. What a great name. Carlson. Amazing, right? And he sounds like a pool player, right? It sounds like he's related to Iceberg, the guy who wrote the Pippin book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wrote a book on Pippin. That book is terrifying. Like, I was like, how do I make sure these guys don't meet my wife? It's fucking horrifying, that book. But yeah, he had an interesting thing about, like, I'm always impressed by these guys who have all this power, but they don't want any of the limelight. Like, I don't know what he looks like, but I know him in the name and I know he's involved in everything.

2:26:21Yeah. And apparently he said something like even billionaires can be new to money, implying that like a lot of the guys that we see, we hear the guys that are all over the place. Like they're new to this and they on some level want it to be known that they got it. Right. And the people who've maybe done it for, you know, legacy generations, they're like, you actually get yourself in more trouble the more people know. Oh, for sure. Right. But it's hard to be broke and then get some money and not want to flex it. Well, even if you don't want to flex it, if you just have it, like if you're Jeff Bezos, you're out in the middle of the Caribbean with Lauren Sanchez chilling on a yacht, there's someone with a drone taking photos of you.

2:27:06You also do your wedding in Venice. You want to flex it. That was flexing. You want to flex it. That was her, I bet. Yeah. She was like, I want a big fucking father. Oh, wait. You don't think Jeff wanted to do his second wedding in Venice? with a bunch of celebrities, invite every famous person on earth, the Kardashians show up. You met three times. You don't think he wanted that? Yeah. Hilarious. But that's what happens, bro. The wedding is the wife's party. Right, and you kind of got to go, too. You're like, damn, we got to go to the mess. You kind of got to do your own. Oh, I thought you were talking about Jeff going to his own wedding.

2:27:33Oh, yeah, that too. Yeah, exactly. Do I have to go? This feels like your thing. Are you sure I have to do it? I have to support you in this venture. Yeah. Yeah. If you get invited to that and you're one of their fucking friends, you're like, oh, great. fly to Venice and be a part of the zoo see that's how you that's how we would feel about it but there are certain people who are like I think they almost define themselves by those invitations yeah yeah yeah but what? I think I define myself by being able to miss the wedding well there's also a thing that we actually make stuff ourselves rather than have to get hired to go make us stuff.

2:28:16You know, like you'll do a movie occasionally if you want to, but you make your own comedy. You make your own podcast. You make your own stuff. When you're an actor and you don't make your own stuff and you've got to appear in other people's stuff, there's a whole different layer of bullshit that you have to dance with. There's a reliance. Yeah, there's a reliance. And then there's also like a currency of being current, you know. Being hot. Yep, yep, yep. You've got to be a part of that. Yeah. And that's when you know one of the things you see about comics that lash out at people It's a Maren's good example This is like once you've got no currency That's when you start lashing out yeah because you got to get attention some way yeah, and you're not getting it through your art So what's the what's the way to get it?

2:29:01You have to figure out some way to be current so find out what is current and then shit all over it and get the people who Who think Elon's a fuckwit? He's a fuckwit. Yeah, we get those people and they're like yeah fuck Schultz, yeah, fuck Rogan, fuck everybody. Yeah. I mean, that's got to be the worst thing is to be a comic that only gets attention when you talk about comedy. Right. You want to get attention from your jokes. You want people to like you for the funny things you say. You want to have a really interesting point that nobody else thought of. Yeah, or something fucking stupid and silly that's hilarious.

2:29:38That's what we love. Right. And that's what you actually really want. But like when the only reason anybody's talking about you is because you're shitting on your colleagues. Right. Like that's what's bothering you in the world. But I think that's what happened with just the whole like what's happening right now with the comedy economy. It's like I think people are feeling – I think young comics are probably feeling a little bit like concerned that they don't know the way forward. Right. They also don't know whether or not they're being forced to participate in these pylons or whether they should back off.

2:30:07And then they get pressure and they don't know what to do. I got young guys and young women a lot more slack than I do the OGs these people that have been around for a long time You should you should know what it's like to be attacked and you should know that this is not fair It's not cool And you also should if you have an opinion on what these people are doing with whatever whether it's Riyadh or whether

2:30:32Have some kind of compassion for these people as human beings and as colleagues and and be charitable. Be charitable. This is what I try to do. I try to be very charitable when I talk about anybody that I'm not in a real serious, like a Mark Maron type thing with. That guy, I'm like, fuck you. You're a problem. But he made his bed. Yeah, well, he made his bed, and the Theo thing just really drove me crazy, because Theo is the sweetest fucking human being. I love him to death. You think that Maron wants to be talking about another comedian? The thing is, you remember when comics, all they talk about is airline seats and travel?

2:31:14It's because that's all they knew, because they were on the road every weekend. On the road constantly. Because that's all they think about. That's all he thinks about, is other people doing better than him. So naturally the bits are going to be about it. Where's your thoughts on Gaza? Oh, I haven't heard him say anything about that one. Kind of weird. Yeah. There was some crazy estimate. The actual official tallies, like 67 ,000 people dead. I think it's going to be more than that. Oh, there's Stephen Dossinger had a thing on his page where there's some human rights group that estimates it to be as high as 400 ,000.

2:31:45Yeah, because I don't think they count missing as dead yet. No. I mean, there's no way they know. You look at all that rubble and, bro, okay, so there's that. But then there's also what Hamas is doing right now in Gaza, which is crazy. These executions and tortures of people that they think collaborated with Israel. Yeah. Woo. Horrific. Horrific. Me and Tommy Segura have a text thread that we go back and forth with literally the worst shit we find every day. It's like a trauma thread. Tom. I sent him one. Tom just needs to feel something, huh? Tom just needs to feel. I try to help. He just needs to feel.

2:32:22That's why I sent him these things. You got to show him the worst shit ever. He's like, all right, I am human. Yeah, I sent him one. He was like, that one was rough. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were breaking this guy's bones with boulders. They had this guy blindfolded and he was sitting down and they took this enormous rock and threw it on his shin and snapped his shin in half. And this guy's screaming. And then they take his arm and they stretch his arm out. This guy hits it with his giant bat and crushes his arm. No, it's horrific. It is so crazy what they're doing. And they're doing it on, you know, Samsung 4K video on a cell phone.

2:32:57And kids can see it. Anybody can see it. My kids saw the Charlie Kirk assassination. That's, bro. You know, it's like I didn't want to see it. And then someone sent it to me. I think Tom sent it to me, actually. And I'm like, all right, let me see. And I watched. I was like, oh, God damn. But that's, yeah, that's the tricky thing right now is because I think that like as far as we've been comedians, there's been like a clear path of how to make it. It didn't mean that it was accessible to everybody. But like when you're growing up, I'm sure it's like get an HBO special. When I'm coming up, it was HBO.

2:33:28And then it transitioned to come on the Joe Rogan podcast. And that was the thing. And did it mean every single comedian that came on here became a millionaire? No. But a lot fucking did. You got to look. You got to look. You got to look. And you got an audience that was interested and curious and like invested. If you were legit, if you were Shane Gillis, if you were you, if you were Ari Shafir, whatever it was, you popped off. Hundreds of people. Right. And we saw it like instantaneously. It was like you come on and then your podcast would go number one afterwards. Like you remember this. Right.

2:33:58And it was like, OK. so then comics were like okay wow there's a pathway forward and then like the clip economy and the youtube specials and these things start happening and then people like okay i do that that's how i go popping then kill tony erupts and it's like oh shit if i can get a spot on kill tony then i can make it yeah and i think that like now people are going okay i might not be the right fit for kill tony because the character based things really explode more than like say a traditional comic it's like okay i don't do that it's like i don't know how i can even get on show and if I do get on Joe, can I be on enough for the audience?

2:34:31We'll see. I put a YouTube special out, but it seems like there's hundreds of YouTube specials out, so it's like, I don't know if that's going to be the thing that breaks me. So I think that the younger comics are kind of experiencing this thing where they're like, I don't know the pathway forward. And someone's going to invent some shit. Someone's going to do the thing that I did, that you did, where you just try something new and then it catches on and fucking that dominates what it is. But I think they're in this period where they're like, I don't know what to do. And when you don't know what to do and you're not where you want to be, that's where I think the bitterness starts to come out.

2:35:02Well, you also don't know what the path forward is and if it's ever going to arrive for you or if you're just going to be like on the outside forever. So you're toiling in obscurity and then you start to feel resentful. Then you start to feel angry. Before, you might feel resentful and angry, but you're like, you know what? There might be a chance Joe could see me. He'll bring me on his podcast and then I can have all this fucking success. And it's like, so I do empathize with that anger, but the knee-jerk reaction to just shit on everything and try to shit on the scene and like shit on austin or like shit on these things i i don't think they realize that that's not going to get them any closer it will get them like immediate attention a bunch of their comedian friends around them are going to click and like and do these things but it's not going to be that long-term sustained career you don't build a fan base by going i don't like that place you also alienate the newest scene in the world you alienate people who actually help you this is the thing You're making a fake version of what the scene is, too.

2:35:58I mean, that's the internet, right? That's the crazy thing. It's like you have to have an N-word joke. You have to go on and have a trans joke. And this is just the same thing. You know what the problem is? It's a walled garden. Austin is a walled garden. Like, if you're on the outside, you see all these people having so much fun in the garden. You're like, I'm not even in there. Fuck those people. It's not walled, Joe. It's not. But it's an appearance of a walled garden. Exactly. And then I think that there's like people on another level up, we were saying earlier, that are like seeing these like people talk shit about it.

2:36:29And they're getting concerned that it could like negatively impact them in a way. So they're doing this like it's the most pussy shit. They're like trying to create a little distance. Not too much where they can't call you and say, hey, I got a pocket. Oh, you mean Andrew Santino? Yeah, like not too much where it's like, oh, I'd like to come on your pod, but I'll have a guy who's going to shit on you for the whole fucking episode and not give you pushback. And it's not just him. I've seen other people do it, and it's just like, dude, dude, dude, you're going to go through some cancel shit later.

2:36:54All these guys, they're going to go through something later, and they had a guy that they could call that would bring them on the biggest platform in the world and let them explain themselves, have their back. You will do it. I would still do that with Santino. Of course you would. That's your boy. I love him. He's a fucking amazing hang. That was a bad move. That was a bad move, in my opinion. He felt like, look, Mark is irrelevant. He's yelling these things out. like let him rant everyone's gonna know what he's doing but i don't think everybody on the outside they don't because they don't know comedy they don't know the business and it looks like you're co-signing at all and it looks like that you're okay with this and they i'm fine with you having him on like i would have marron on but we're gonna go at it like akash calls him out he's just like come on you pussy let's talk you ain't shit yeah so it's like it's like but it's like yeah but also defend your boy and that's also important because at at a baseline people don't want to see people abandon their friends and like a baseline human thing right even if you got your friends back when he's going through some shit even if you disagree with that person did like baseline human you go yeah i kind of would want that guy as a friend there was a video of trump on letterman when uh i think it's letterman i'm pretty sure it's letterman trump when uh mike tyson got convicted and bro it's like the most unpopular opinion in the world he goes i think is his attorneys were terrible they had the worst defense i've ever heard in my life this girl came up to his room at 1 a.m they said she was dancing a few hours later she was hanging out with people having a good time she came over took off her panty shield in the in his bathroom like and she'd also accused someone of rape uh that wasn't it was unjustly accused of rape so she'd done it before she had done the same thing before you know i don't know what the fuck happened there obviously i don't but that was his boy and he defended his boys look we don't know we don't know what happened and he said it on letterman i respect that shit and he was like whoa and a lot of people in the comments did too like wow and tyson got his back you know that yeah like we've talked to tyson decades later always has yeah it's yeah it's a different i don't to me i'm like i thought this is normal like i thought this is because you're a man i don't know that's the thing there's a lot of these people that are like a salamander that's never gone through its final developmental changes and they're they they're stuck in like an adolescent stage of evolution forever yeah there's there's there's men that are like that but that you know i don't know and maybe it's because i'd like know guys like you and like charlamagne who like i see them going through shit and i see people like will try to like get me to talk to it's like it ain't gonna happen yeah like i know these people as human beings you know a 30 second tiktok of them so if you want to have that conversation we're gonna have it but like you're not gonna like the way it goes because these people are my friends like real friends right not like colleagues there are people who were colleagues with right but like my real friends you guys are at my wedding right and you've been to my way like my wedding wasn't like a comedy hangout right it was people who i'm close to you know what i mean by the way it's like one of the only weddings i've ever been and i respected that took a covid test took a covid test you were so upset about it too you're like here bitch you're like i'm free of it bitch i was already over well that i don't even know if i had been i don't think you got the beginning of being canceled yeah for about the covet stuff i was like it was just starting yeah can i pee real quick yeah yeah yeah let's pee we're back we're back um when tony got into it when the first one with the the asian thing uh when he got into that people didn't know the he was totally not always he set up um people don't know the full context of it this guy did this whole set of like it was like real bad comedy and it was why do you hate asians everybody hates asians and so tony gets up and makes fun of him for being chinese afterwards they take that they run with it tony fortunately had a video of that guy's set and released it along with his full set where you see this is just what he does he's just fucking around and then he kills he kills for the entire set and he released that and then the cancellation basically died off but when he was going through it man i i was really worried about him like genuinely worried about him he thought his life was over he had never experienced anything like that before yeah and then i took him with me to salt lake city and it was only god i guess a week and a half he took off one weekend we did a show in houston and he's like i just i don't think i'm go on stage.

2:41:26I was like, just take this weekend off. I'm going to pay you anyway. I'll go, I'll pay you. Just relax. And then we'll do Salt Lake City. Right. I just, just, just, I know you're going through it. Just so then he went on stage one night at the Vulcan. He's like, dude, I think I could do, I'm back. I'm back. And so then people didn't know that he was going to be with me in Salt Lake City. So we're in the back of the room and I announce the opening act. And I said, ladies and gentlemen, one of my best friends, Tony Hinchcliffe. And they went, yeah, they stood up. arms raised like fuck yeah it was part of it was because i was supporting him he was going through it was public it was in the middle of everything and he went up and destroyed the love that he got from those people and then he went and just ran with it and he had material on it he was already talking about it and it was beautiful but it was beautiful to watch him realize like oh i'm gonna be okay the internet is not reality right and he had that moment in real time but he also had you having his back like that's the and i think people see that also like i think there's people in the crowd to see that and i think on a primal level they go man if i got caught up in some fuck shit i would really like it if my friend had my back yeah if people were saying things about me that my friends know were false and they use their platforms to talk or you know put me on or whatever it is, I think deep down viscerally they go, oh, that's a good guy.

2:42:52You got to try to, like, help people. You know, I tried to get Steve Renazzisi on when that 9-11 stuff happened, and he decided to go on Stern instead. Yeah. And I was like, okay, but I'm telling you, if I have you on, I can navigate it a little more compassionately. But I don't think at the time he understood where podcasts were versus where Stern was at the time. Stern was still stern in his eyes, but it wasn't stern in terms of like the reach. And even if it was, he's not going to handle you the same way I'm going to handle you. Like I'm going to give you all the room in the world to express yourself and I'm going to be as charitable as possible.

2:43:37And I'm going to put myself in a position where I could imagine if I made up a story and then I got stuck with it. Like, oh, no. You know? And what is the way forward with that? Well, I guess the way forward, he eventually had to address it and talk about it on stage. And, you know, but you can help people. It really does work. If you have a platform and someone's going through something, like, you really can save their world. You can. You can. Especially if you show that you have support and you love them and you talk about it and talk about what a great person they are. like Tony's one of my favorite people ever Tony's great man and like he has this massive thing and naturally we want to pick at the people that are incredibly successful it's just like human nature fucking Taylor Swift gets it you know what I mean but bro here's the thing Kill Tony wasn't that big back then that's the problem no no back then I'm saying even now yeah but now well the thing is the second cancellation like after he did the Puerto Rico thing he was already ready he was like I've been through this fucking storm before I'm just gonna tie down these sails and ride this motherfucker out.

2:44:47But if he hadn't been through that, that would have been even more devastating because then you're getting canceled by CNN and New York Times. You know, they had stories pre-written, ready to go, blaming the loss of Trump on Tony Hinchcliffe. And then the Latino vote went up by 15%. Tony said the first night he slept was the night that I endorsed Trump. For real. And he literally said, dude, that was the first night. He goes, I think it's going to be okay now. Wow. Which is crazy because that's part of the reasons why I did it. We're going to get Tony out of here. We're going to protect Tony. Little did you know, you didn't even need to.

2:45:29The Puerto Ricans were like, we got this. Puerto Ricans take a joke better than anybody on the planet. That is a great shit-talking community. They talk shit to each other. Especially in New York. They're not going to be sensitive about anything. Now, what I would have told Zoni and what I said to him is, like, I wish you had told me what the set is. Because New Yorkers have this idea of Puerto Rico as this beautiful Caribbean island. It's like our first vacation in New York when we go to a fancy place. It's Puerto Rico. So I think when he was connecting it to the island of garbage, which I knew where he's going.

2:45:59There was like an island of garbage floating in the Atlantic. No, it's the Pacific. Pacific Garbage Patch. So it was actually, he was bringing it to something that was a popular story like a year or two ago. But New Yorkers don't know what the fuck is floating. You know what I mean? Like, we're just like, yo, Puerto Rico's floating. So I think that they were just like, oh, that was weird. We don't see Puerto Rico in that way. Well, not necessarily because that joke murders when he did it at Madison Square Garden when he was opening for me. Oh, really? Fucking murdered. Okay, fair enough. Murdered.

2:46:29Because it's just a joke. The thing is, it's just a joke. But it's also, Puerto Rico, if you don't know, has a massive garbage problem. Oh, I didn't know. Because they have a landfill issue because they don't have much land. It's like all these fucking tourists coming over there with their fucking water bottles. And they got a huge hole in the ground that's overflowing with trash. At the end of the day, it's a fucking joke. It's a joke. It's a joke. But it's not a joke he should have done there. That's the thing. If he was running that joke by me, I'd be like, no. That's not the one. That's what I'm saying.

2:46:58That's not the one. Or there's a different place that you could use that might go. I told him not to do it, period. I was like, there's no upside to this. It's not going to be a comedy crowd. And meanwhile, he goes on after some guy who's got this crazy, we're going to take back Americanos. That's the thing. Even doing comedy in that environment is the trickiest thing. And I do think in general, us just having politicians on and even going to the rally. I think what's happened is that we've politicized ourselves and we've brought ourselves into the game of politics, which is the ugliest game. Yeah.

2:47:33Like it is the ugliest game. The ugliest game. Because it's that zero-sum shit we were saying earlier. It's just like this is, people really believe it's life or death. Uh-huh. Dude, I was pushing my daughter in a stroller, right? And a lady goes, hey, this is in New York. She goes, hey, didn't you have Trump on your podcast? And I was like, I already know what's going on. I'm like, yeah, yeah, he was on a podcast. And she's like, well, I hope your daughter has a good life. I'm like, bitch, you live in Tribeca. You know what I mean? Like, what do you think is happening over here? Your husband works for fucking Goldman.

2:48:04You know what I mean? Like, what do you think he's voting for? But, like, that type of vitriolic hate to a stranger on the street. What did you say to her? I said, I go, oh, do you have a daughter? Because she just looked lonely. And I really wanted her to be like, no. And then I was just going to lower the fucking boom. And then she was like, yeah, I have two. And I was like, okay, well, I hope they have good lives.

2:48:34She out crowd worked me I was like in shock I'm like with a child Why are you talking to me in the street? I saw a video of a lady getting out of a cyber truck In New Jersey And some woman yelled at her You fucking racist She's like what? Somebody just gave me a ride It was an Uber? No she got a ride from somebody who had a cyber truck She got out of the car and you know and some ladies start calling her a racist yeah so out of nowhere there's insane people oh yeah there's like and some they've always been here always been here and they're even more rooted in their insanity because it's rewarded every time they go on their phone yes like their crazy opinions are just like yeah you're right about that opinion here's evidence yeah 30 seconds at a time and they're dumb so they don't realize what it's doing to them so they're on that fucking shit all day long getting aggravated and they're desperate for community their whole identity is this community god forbid they have a dissenting opinion all of a sudden that community is going to ostracize them yeah it's literally what happened to like ezra like ezra's actually trying to have real conversations like he believes in what democrats can do and think that they're the best for government and he's like how can we make this happen and then there are people that would be like his biggest supporters the second he moves a little bit away it's i can't believe he's turned into a right-wing grifter that's how calling ezra klein a right-wing grifter yeah or elon musk a fuckwit yeah it's the same thing you you're never gonna make everybody happy and as your profile increases the number of ignorant people that are paying attention and commenting on you increases yes it is and so it's that's a great point yeah it's like the percentage doesn't change but the amount changes drastically because you have so many more people watching well especially if there's an event like if you had trump on the podcast that's the event and then ignorant people just start yapping out their opinion and i want them to have opinions no you gotta say it's a beautiful thing i'll never tell anybody not to say anything but like the funniest thing about the trump pot is that like initially it was kamala's campaign and the democrats like loving the interview because trump said that thing it was a really fascinating thing that happened because both sides were going oh this is awesome and i was like holy shit what did he say he goes uh he says one of the funniest things ever he goes uh he goes i'm basically an honest person and then he says it to me and i just laugh because i'm like that's i laugh for a few reasons like one i laugh because it's a hilarious thing to say it's very funny but two it's like actually the most honest thing to say like if i'm deconstructing it it's like anybody who goes i've never told a lie you're like you're a fucking liar you just told one but saying you're basically honest is like yeah i pretty much mostly tell the truth yeah you know sometimes i say melania looks skinnier than she does you know whatever the fuck whatever it is you know what i mean but like it's i don't know it was just the funniest thing or the epstein files is a hoax bro the fucking epstein thing is nothing but a hoax it's just it's just i i don't even understand i don't get it i don't get it it's It is the easiest political victory.

2:51:46Like if you just do it. It is, but it isn't. Here's the thing. Yeah. I'm not supporting anything. Just to be really clear, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. But if you are, if you have relationships with all these insanely wealthy people that are going to be severely impacted by this, like this is the ultimate political football. Because I don't know what the numbers are. I don't know who the people are. But I've heard things, and if those things are true, you're dealing with some of the most powerful people in the world, some of the wealthiest people in the world. They got to go down. Yeah, well, it depends on what they did, right?

2:52:24It's like, did you go over there and have sex with a 24-year-old and do coke? Totally fine. Right. Or did you go over there? Wouldn't she want that out? I would want that out. Yeah, but you wouldn't want that out because you're connected to pedophilia, no matter what. Oh, right, because you're like, she was 24, and then someone's going to go, well, did you ID? And you're like, well, no, I didn't idea. But did you see underage girls? Were you there? Are you complicit? So you don't want to even be around it. Right. Well, you can't be around it. I mean, the guy 100 % had sexual relationships with underage girls, at least in Florida.

2:52:59Convicted. And convicted. Yeah. And you knew that when you were meeting him. That's the Bill Gates thing that's the craziest. Not only Bill Gates, the Stephanopoulos guy. Like a bunch of them went over there. A lot of people went over there. A lot of scientists went over there. And I think those guys thought they were going over there for this beautiful place where you can go. This guy's donating money to science. You're hanging out with movie stars, this intellectual discourse. So tell me about string theory. Well, it's really fascinating. One thing's we've learned, and you're having cocktails like, this place is great.

2:53:30And then you can get your dick sucked. It's like a ditty party for nerds. Ah, exactly. Exactly. And a lot of people went to those parties. Yeah. I don't want to say Asan Ahmad's joke. What is that? I don't want to say a joke. I don't want to ruin his joke. Shout out Asan, man. Asan's great. He's got a great joke that compares it to Diddy. He's filming a special soon, too. Yes, he is. I'm very excited for him, man. Yes, he is. This weekend. Oh, really? So this upcoming weekend at the Mothership. No, it's at the Black Rabbit. Black Rabbit. So make sure you guys go check that out. He is great. And that guy works hard.

2:54:00I've known him since he was a doorman at the Comedy Store. Yeah. Him and Derek do the solid show together. Yep. So I got to know Asan. No, Asan's great, man. They have a great pod, man. Super smart, dude, too. But yeah, that's very interesting guy great green room hang that's yeah, that's the other thing. It's like Just being able to hang Just being able to fucking hang is like people think about like oh, what are all these competitive advantages? How do you do that the other and it's just like can you fucking hang out? Right. Can you sit down on a couch and can we bust balls? Are we fun? It's that easy.

2:54:33Yeah, are you fun? Are you easy? Do you are you a happy person? you're good to get along with. That makes it so easy. It's like simple things that you learn in high school. Have you ever experienced where there's a guy who's a fun hang and you haven't seen him on stage yet, and you're like, I hope he's funny. Yes. Because I like hanging with you. Oh, there were some bad examples of that at the comedy store. I saw someone's set, and I was like, oh, no. I can't be friends with you. Like, this is too— Fitzsimmons and I were laughing about that once. We saw this person go on stage, and then afterwards we went into the back parking lot and Greg's like, well, I can't be friends with them anymore.

2:55:10Greg cracks me the fuck up, dude. Is Greg from Boston? He's a Boston guy, right? Yes, we started out together within a week of each other. I've been friends with that dude for like 35 fucking years, maybe more. Yeah, Greg is. Greg's still in L.A., right? Yes, unfortunately. Dude, Greg was there when I fucking, I did some like, it was like a halfway house show or something like that. I don't know. I was just at the store and they just asked me, do you want to pop on this one? And it was like, Greg, it was Joey. And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll go do it. And I did it and I was doing these like, I did some Down syndrome, but it was kind of like long to be honest with you.

2:55:48Oh, that was the Down syndrome group? I had no clue because they told me half house. So I was like, oh, it's guys who are like drug addicts, alcoholics. And I did like a long bit about it. And it didn't go great. Like everything was kind of good up until that moment. And then it kind of went south. And I was like, oh, that was weird. And I get on stage and Joey's like waiting there or Greg, I forget which one of the weather. They're like, what the hell are you doing? And I was like, I don't know. Like I thought it was going well. And then it just kind of tanked. He's like, yeah, because it's all of them.

2:56:15They're out there. So this is like a charity show or a benefit for it. It's like you got to let me know that. Yeah, you should let people know that. I had a very similar thing happen. I had a bit about how like there's certain words that are offensive. But wouldn't it be better if instead of like banning these words, if like the government issued like retard tags, like hunting tags, like you get five a year. He's got to know when to use them, you know, and these people were just this is fascism. Government quotas. but I would be like you do not want to go outside on December 31st with all the retard tags are going down because everybody's got three extra retard tags they gotta use we gotta use them, can't let these things go to waste they don't roll over, but I did it there and people were like, ugh, I was like, what?

2:57:04what's wrong? and then afterwards they told me, I was like, how about a heads up? wait, you did it also? how many of these benefits are they doing at the comedy store? a ton, it takes a lot of money fair enough you know yeah it's uh an education thing but uh i fucked up too same thing then i was like oh why didn't you tell me i felt something in the i felt it but i felt it it was like it just went and the look was like does he not know i think they thought that i didn't they didn't i don't think they thought i was being edgy they thought you didn't know they're like oh he doesn't know right right right you know so they're like they have a sour like oh no he doesn't know it's like if somebody was talking to someone in the crowd before and everybody knows about that person and And then you're doing something completely unrelated and they're like, oh, yeah.

2:57:47He doesn't know that she just lost her husband. Yeah. I'm just doing my five-minute widow bit. Yeah. Yeah, but that's the fun stuff. Yeah. That's what Charlemagne loves. He's just so, he's like, at his core, he's like a real comedian at his core. Like, to the point, like, he'll love bomb. He like, watching people bomb, he like, really likes that. I think it's like a full emotion to him. and uh so at the end of the the show in rehab we brought alex media was on the show and he had to do one joke in front of everybody and like the joke is pretty good alex is a black dude and he's like you know it's cool to be here you know i'll be honest like i see these outfits and uh it's the only time i'm surrounded by guys in uh in white sheets that i don't feel like they're gonna kill me something like that like some little cutesy joke and then uh charlamagne goes nah bro like they're treating you like the autistic kid that gets it going in the fourth quarter

2:58:42the ball boy that joke wasn't it bro he's like uh uh they think that you have autism and they're giving you a shot at the end of the season uh that's funny that's funny yeah he's a funny dude there's a lot of funny people that don't get into comedy it's interesting i've known quite a few that are like man you're really a comedian and you never really got after it you know there's a bunch of people like that i used to work for a guy who was a private investigator was the funniest fucking dude I had ever been around in my life. And I was trying to be a comedian at the time. I was an open-miker. I was 21.

2:59:14And his name was Dick Dolan. Dave Dolan, rather. He called himself Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. That was his name. I have a phone that I kept. It's an iPhone 10 or some shit like that. And I kept that phone just because I have a voicemail on there from him before he died. He's like, Joe Rogan, it's Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. How you doing, buddy? And, like, he was just a funny fucking dude. He was hilarious. And we would catch mostly people that were doing insurance fraud. Oh, as a PI. He was a private investigator. And I worked for him. And the way I worked for him. As a PI? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2:59:54I was looking for a job and different things to do to make money while I was doing stand-up. Yeah. And he had this ad for, it was a private investigator's assistant. I was like, ooh, that sounds exciting. Really what it was is he had lost his license drunk driving, and he needed someone to drive his car around because he still had to work. And so I met him, and his cousin was Bill Downs, who owned the Comedy Connection. So he was – In Rhode Island? No, it was in Boston at the time. Oh. And then it eventually went to Fania Hall, and then now it's the Wilbur Theater. Oh, wow. Bill Blumenwright eventually bought it from them, but Bill Downs and Paul Barkley were the original owners of the Comedy Connection.

3:00:43And so I was like, how are you not a comedian? Like, you're the funniest fucking guy I know. What would he say? He was, he's not interested. He was just funny. But he would, like, we would, like, catch people doing stuff. Most of it was, like, insurance fraud. But we'd have to, like, wait for them in front of their house at, like, 4 o 'clock in the morning for them to get up and have, like, a fake job. Yeah. Where they were like, pretending to be disabled, I've hurt my back at work, but really they were roofing somewhere and we would catch them. Right, right. And so we would be just in the car, just me and him.

3:01:14Talking shit. And we would just talking shit. I would be crying. And I remember I was dating this girl and I went over her place afterwards. I was like, this guy is so much funnier than me and he has no desire to be a comedian. Yeah. It's like, it's weird. Yeah. Like he's a natural comic. Just funny all the time. Yeah. You know, had this, I don't give a fuck, I'm never getting married. You know, he's like, he always cheated on his girlfriends, didn't care. He let them know. He's like, I'm not changing. He acted like a drunk even when he was sober. Yeah, yeah. Even when he was sober, he was like, he kept that whole, we're on a bender mentality.

3:01:52He just was sober. Yeah. And rode that bitch right into the rocks. Rode that fucking boat right into the shore. God bless him. And then died. God bless him. Yeah, he was a fun dude. man. Like one of the most fun people I've ever been friends with in my life. Some of the most naturally funny people I think aren't comedians. Yes. A lot. In the hang. And it's a different, like when you've got to do it on stage, there's different expectations and it changes things, but like just in the hang. Yeah. They're just, they're almost like unaware of their funny. Right. They're not even trying to make you laugh.

3:02:21Right. You know, it's just kind of, yeah, it's like an effortless to them. And some of them, you know, that do try to do comedy like that never figure out how to translate it, which is really weird. I think, I think it's a, it's almost too easy for them in conversation. So they don't do the work to transition it to stage. Or they have this idea of what they're supposed to be on stage and it's very different than what they are with their friends. That's the first thing I tell young comics that ask for advice. I just go, how are you funniest around the people you're most comfortable with? Are you telling stories?

3:02:53Are you self-deprecating? Are you kind of roasting? The people you're most comfortable with, how are you funny? and that I think is like the easiest way to access like your voice or whatever we call it and then just add 10 years of trying to figure that out. Yeah. But you're right. Some people try to put on a cadence of what they think a stand-up will talk about. And it's normal. In the beginning, you're just trying to figure this shit out. You sound like Attell. Exactly. In New York, everybody sounded like Attell. When I was coming up, Attell was, even the way that they would do act-out sounds, it was all versions of Attell.

3:03:25And naturally, you're going to gravitate to the best guy in what he's doing. And I'm sure in L.A., everybody was trying to be Dane or something like that. There's a bunch of guys that are trying to be Chappelle. Chappelle, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, yeah, that makes sense. Patrice would say that you're his babies. I got a bunch of babies out there. I was a baby of Patrice, for sure. I remember seeing him and just going like, oh my God, this is the highest form. Joey Diaz was the best example of a guy who one day figured it out. Joey Diaz was the funniest guy in the parking lot. The funniest.

3:03:55The funniest guy in the hang. If you were in the back bar, he was the funniest. He was holding court. Everybody was dying. We're falling on the ground laughing. When he would get on stage, he would try to be a comedian. He would try to set up punchline, tell a joke, I got a little joke for you. And then one day, he gave up. He gave up on being cast in movies. He gave up on the dream of having a sitcom. And he got real fat. When I first met Joey, he was built like a linebacker. He was a tank. And he was fresh out of jail. It was a different Joey. Jail beef. It was Scary Joey. Yeah. And Scary Joey gave in to Fat Joey.

3:04:31And then Mitzi Shorstar called him Fat Baby. and that's all she would put him on as the lineup. It wouldn't be Joey Diaz. It would be Fat Baby. She wanted to call him Fat Baby. Oh, so he would lean into this. She had this idea of changing his name to Fat Baby. Yeah. You know, she named people, right? I don't know. She named Carlos Mencia. What do you mean? She came up with that name. That's not his real name? No, it's not his real name. His name is Ned. It's like Ned Wholeness or something like that. She came up with the idea of him having that name. Yeah. That was part of the whole video of me exposing him.

3:05:05I was like, you're not even Mexican. And the Mexicans in the crowd were like, what? Yeah. I mean, he's close. Honduran. Yeah. Yeah, half German, half Honduran. But whatever it is. It's a bus stop. The thing is, Mitzi named him. And so Mitzi would name people. And she wanted to name Joey Fat Baby. And so the old lineups, I got some old lineups from the comedy store, and one of them, it says Fat Baby. I love it. I love it. But when he got fat, dude, when he started not giving a fuck and he would go on stage, I mean, all of a sudden, he went from not having good sets, you know, to kind of maybe it was a pretty good set, to destroy it.

3:05:43Liberating. Destroy it. He was free. Yeah. He got free and he became the guy on stage that he was in the back. It was also around the time where medical marijuana started really popping off in L.A. So Joey was on like 500 milligram Shiba juice all day. Just let it go. Just obliterated. Obliterated and dosing people on his podcast. He was just a full on maniac. And the absolute best guy to take on the road with you. There was no one better. You take him on the road with you. You guarantee you were having a party everywhere you go. It's a party at dinner. It's a party hanging out at the hotel afterwards.

3:06:26It's a party. Joey Diaz is there. We're having fun. And, you know, and he just figured out how to be that guy on stage. And then he became Joey Diaz. But it was like everybody watched it happen. Like, whoa, I never seen anybody just figure it out like that. Where, like, you went from being a four or a five to a ten. Immediately. To a ten to where people are lining up in the back of the room going, what the fuck, man? Holy shit. Did something happen like did something happen culturally where what he was doing was refreshing too? Or do you really think he just changed he figured it out? He just figured he just didn't he stopped I stopped giving a fuck yeah I stopped giving a fuck of those fucking people yeah, I was worried about those people you're gonna give me a job I want to I want a job.

3:07:10I was a fucking convict yeah, I had to be careful Yeah, you know and then all of a sudden he's like these people ain't giving me shit fuck these people yeah You know and that was like right around the time ironically that he did the longest yard So he started getting movies, started getting all kinds of things. That's what always happens. Because he didn't give a fuck anymore. And all of a sudden he was just so funny that it was undeniable. And then when you're undeniable, all those opportunities pop up. That's the other thing. It's like I think sometimes I hear comics talk about the importance of networking.

3:07:38And I'm like it's so easy to network when you're funny. Yeah. Like once you're funny, people want to talk to you. Like once they admire what you're doing on that stage, they want to hang out. the people that are not funny now you got to fucking hang out every single second and network but the worst is the networking people that aren't funny that are always trying to get work and like hey if i wanted to give you work i would ask yeah like you're you're doing the wrong kind of work you're doing the network work and not doing the why am i not funny enough work yeah what's missing why why do i not have an audience like why do people not want to go see me again like what is that yeah i mean yeah they will see you again if you give them a good show if you give them a good show but if you don't there's a lot of comedy out there kids there is a lot of comedy a lot of comedy out there yeah i don't know that's why like i i'm like kind of strict on you just got to give them something new every time you go in like i feel strongly about it because it's like if they see the same thing twice and i'm talking about when i'm going out on a new yeah to a new market yeah a market that you've been to yeah it's very important it's expensive yeah like shit it's it's not cheap to go out to a show right like so if they're getting a babysitter they're doing the whole thing and then they see the thing they saw before it's like maybe they have a good time but there's a little part of them they feel maybe taking advantage of in some way well some of them don't want to see bits again like that's like the hot pockets thing with gaff again but i feel like they want to see that and a bunch of other stuff yes like if you give them 45 of just new heat that they haven't heard before and then at the end you tell the machine story They love it.

3:09:10Yeah. And then you get to live in the nostalgia of it. You get to take your friend that you told this story to or this joke. It's so funny. I hope he does it. And then you get to watch them experience it. Yeah. It's like sharing a clip with them on Instagram and just watching them laugh. Right. So you get to experience that. But like the whole hour? Nah. You got to have something new. Right, right, right. We got to get, at least for me, I'm like, that is, that's why I take time off. I'm like, I need. Well, that's the difference between comedy and music, right? That's why music is fucking. Music, I don't want your new shit.

3:09:38Right. Stop with the new songs, Rolling Stones. Imagine Oasis is doing a whole new album. You know what I mean? You could go, here's a new one, but I need to hear the hits. Right. And that, yeah, music just has so much more, like, such a great shelf life. Mm-hmm. It's just, if a song is high. They have such a shelf life, they have cover bands. And we want to watch them? Yeah. Yeah, I remember any time in L.A. there was a cover band for, what the fuck was it? it was some 80s cover I don't know they were just playing like all these like fun little 80s hits and it was a thing that would like sell out like people would go to one of these venues and they go and they enjoy and they dress up in stupid 80s shit it became almost like uh what is that music what is that um it's that movie that people would go see in the east village uh rocky horror picture show remember that like you're almost like part of the performance in a way like you're leaning into this uh this this costumization of what's happening oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean i don't know it's a different art form obviously but that's the beautiful things like some something could go down today you know and then you can go on stage with it tonight and everybody's like oh shit that's i actually i almost like don't like it when there's nothing to talk about initially right like i would rather like the thing a new thing we talk about it for at least a minute and then we're on the same page.

3:11:02Because the first minute of comedy, it is an odd thing. I'm on a stage. You're all sitting. I'm going to talk as if we're having a conversation, but you're not really allowed to talk. A minute in, we forget that. It's like you're watching Top Gun or something and you're like, I'm real. This is real and I'm in the movie. But that first minute, but what's great is when there is some sort of controversy or some big news story and everybody's thinking about it, They're going, is he going to talk about it? Like, I'm sure any time you went through something and the first time you hit the stage, you can feel them.

3:11:36Yeah. Like, waiting for you to address it. Yeah. That's to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's the best. That's the best. Yeah. That's the best. Well, that was Tony after, you know, his cancellation. Like, he went in hot. And his bits tightened up, too, because he knew couldn't have any fat in him. Because now people are waiting for you to fail. Yeah. They want you to fall on your face. Yeah. I think that's a good, I think that's good to have. Oh, yeah. You shouldn't get comfy. Oh, yeah, it's real good. You need some haters. Yeah, it's motivation. Yeah. I'm going to make this show so sharp that you're going to have to say something else.

3:12:07Or not. Or, you know, look stupid. Yeah, but they're never going to not say something. But they'll be like, oh, but it's this, but it's that. But it's like, you're not going to talk about the thing that we all care about. Yeah, yeah, exactly. There's one thing we all care about, bro. Paddle. You're so addicted. I saw your bag. I was like, what's in the bag? I'm going to play with your boy after this. Who are you playing with? Woody Harrelson is big into it. Oh, yeah, he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He loves it. So we're going to go play. I think he's building a club out here. What's he building? A paddle club?

3:12:40Yeah, I think where he's invested in one of the clubs that's going out here. That's amazing. People get upset. It's like golf in that way. People just get obsessed with it. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to pick the things that you get obsessed with, though. You can't have too many of those things. I know, because our wives won't allow it. Yeah. Also, life is just, you don't have so much time. Unfortunately, my things take a lot of time. Like pool one takes a lot of time. Being in the forest. Yeah, it takes a lot of time. It takes a week. Yeah. I love when I text you like out of the blue and I just get a picture of you in like a foxhole.

3:13:12Just be like this fucking sweaty grainy picture. Oh, I sent you a picture of me hunting pigs. Yeah, yeah. I was in a ground blind. That's it, yeah. I'm in a ground blind right now. Yeah. And you're still talking shit. Yeah, I had cell phone service. talking shit while I was waiting for pigs to come out. Where was it? That was in Texas. It was in Texas. Yeah, that was out here, man. You need to get rid of them, right? Aren't they like... Oh, yeah. They're a real problem. I got a lease where me and a bunch of buddies have a lease on this big piece of hunting land. Yeah. And we go out there. And, you know, you literally have to kill pigs.

3:13:46And then you turn them into sausage. Nice. And then I give it to my boys. I bring it down to the mothership. I brought them coolers of elk meat the other night. Yeah. And everybody's like grabbing elk sausage, bringing it home, sending me pictures of them cooking it. That clip of you and Burr when you gave Burr the elk meat. I think it was on like a Kill Tony at the store or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Does it make you aggressive? And then Burr was like, no. No, Joe.

3:14:12You fucking maniac. You were so hyped for him to be like, yes, yes. Tony said it did. I gave him some elk meat. Yeah, and then he went on stage at the fucking Trump rally. No, it was the other night. The other night I gave him some and he's like, dude, I hate it. I got all this energy. I just felt it. It's like a wild animal. I go, yeah, exactly. You're eating the essence of a wild forest horse. A forest horse that has swords growing out of its head. It's got spears growing out of its fucking head. Screaming in the woods. That was the other thing. When you did our pod, there was like a compilation of the animal sounds you make, which is the funniest fucking clip I've ever seen.

3:14:51Like you were getting, cause we got high. You came in hot. Like you had the mushrooms rolling. We were smoking weed. And then you just started talking about bears and all of us are just like open mouth. And you're like these fucking claws are gone. The wild world is like, you should be in touch with that. Everybody should be in touch with that. People have a ridiculous idea what the wild world is. A buddy of mine sent me a video that his buddy took of, he's in Colorado and he's driving down the street. I'll send it to you, Jamie. He's in Colorado driving down the street and he sees a fucking mountain lion take out a deer right on the side of the fucking highway.

3:15:31I'm going to send this to you, Jamie, right now. I'm domesticated. Any of these people that are like, oh, mountain lions are important. They're a part of the ecosystem. These are wild monsters that live in the – did you see the one that I got in the lobby? Do you see the mountain lion in the lobby? The big stuffed mountain lion? But the one you've always had. No, no, no. The mountain lion is new. The actual mountain lion. I didn't see it. My friend Adam Greentree shot it in Colorado. Okay. And it was killing cows, like slaughtering cows on this ranch in Colorado. Look at this. This is the side.

3:16:04Give me some volume on this. Listen to this.

3:16:08Look at this deer. This mountain lion's got it by the neck. Oh, man.

3:16:18Oh, man. And he's trying to drag his wave free.

3:16:24Oh! He got out. And then this dude helped him with the horn. Every now and then, the good guys win. Isn't that crazy? But that's on the side of the road in Colorado. Like, that could be a hiker. 100%. 100%. That could be a hiker. It's a little lady, some small lady, some 100-pound lady that's walking around, you know? Are they the good guys, though? I've thought about that. The mountain lions? No, the deer. No. Like the prey. No, they're food. Yeah, but it's like they've evolved to escape these guys, and that's why they're still around. Right. So they have a competitive advantage over the predators or else they just wouldn't exist.

3:17:06No. But I guess what I'm trying to say is like. They don't have an advantage. They're just hard to kill. Okay, they're hard to kill, but they've evolved to be hard to kill. But they get killed every day. Sure, sure, sure, sure. But like a lot of times they're going for the weak, they're going for the wounded or going for the babies. Because if you go for like the big dogs, it's going to be more difficult. You're going to expend more energy to kill them. Right. But I look at the predators and I'm like, they can't eat grass. Right. Like they would love to eat grass. Grass is an easier life. It's everywhere.

3:17:34Unfortunately, they have to go attack these animals that have the swords coming out of their head. Right. So there is a version where I look at it and I'm like, who's really burdened here? Yeah, but the deer don't have the swords coming out of their head to fight off mountain lions. It's just to— They don't use them for mountain lions. They use them to fight each other. Just to fuck females. Yeah, it's just a dominance thing so they can show the females that they're the dominant males. They have the biggest racks, and they smash racks with other deer. But they don't use it at all as defense against predators?

3:18:02No, not really. I mean, that's stupid. They're not smart. Yeah. They're wary, but they're not intelligent. They're not, like, clever. Yeah. You know, mountain lions are clever. Wolves are really clever. Yeah, I don't fuck with the wolves, man. Wolves are really clever. They have some sort of psychic communication with each other. Oh, you think that? Yeah, they coordinate, and they don't know exactly how they do it, but they figure out traps. Well, like one wolf will come in, and they'll have other wolves flank the animals. So the animals start to scatter, and the wolves come in from the sides and get them.

3:18:33Coyotes do the same thing. And they'll hunt humans too, right? They used to. They used to a lot. I mean World War One they actually had a ceasefire between the Russians and the Germans because the wolves are killing so many people They decided we have to stop and kill wolves. So they came together mm-hmm took out the wolves Yeah, and then they just started killing yeah because you got to realize they're in trench warfare, right? So people get shot and they're they're bleeding and the wolf smell the blood So the wolves were they would hear guys getting torn apart in the middle of the night by wolves The wolves had made it in their way into the foxholes.

3:19:02We're just ripping guys apart imagine you're you're lying in a trench and you hear that like a hundred yards away a guy getting eaten alive by wolves how much you think people knew about war during world war one very little right i mean they knew war existed but there's no footage yeah right there's no photographs there's there's just a concept there's this idea just being fed like propaganda constantly from their own countries. I wonder what happens when all those guys come home and they're clearly traumatized, but everybody else has just been consuming the propaganda about just, oh, look what these doing, and they're fighting for us, and everything is amazing, and we're winning the war, and all this positivity that's probably emanating through news.

3:19:48And then these guys come home, and they start sharing the actual stories. Right. Like, ugh. Well, they just come back shell-shocked. You ever see Peaky Blinders, that show? Yeah, I watched a couple seasons when I think Cormac McCarthy was directing. No, no. Am I getting that name right? I might be messing up. Cormac McCarthy's the author, right? Oh, no, so I'm thinking of a different guy. Yeah, did he do Angela's Ashes? Cormac McCarthy, this is the craziest... Who's the guy who directed... The craziest headline of all time is connected to Cormac McCarthy. I'm going to send Jamie this. Look at this headline.

3:20:23This is an article from The Atlantic. This might be literally the craziest headline that anyone has ever put in an article before. You don't have to pull it up. It's just a headline of an article.

3:20:37Cormac McCarthy's ex-wife pulled a gun out of her vagina during an argument about aliens.

3:20:45A little 38? Probably a 22. Yeah, we need to know. I need to know what he said about aliens. It was probably a little Derringer, One of them little two-shot little tiny pistols you can stick in your cooter. To have a gun in your pussy is crazy. They were having an argument about aliens. She's like, I'm not hearing it anymore.

3:21:14Enough, motherfucker. But why was it in there? Because they're drunk as fuck. They're probably having a good time. Most writers, I think, especially old-timey writers. Hemingway was a big drunk. I think those people party like Hunter S Thompson craziest of all. I think those people party Stephen King when he's in his prime Cocaine alcohol all those people that wrote great shit. They're all out of their fucking head

3:21:40Through these change McCarthy went into her bedroom and emerged wearing lingerie her boyfriend probably thought oh great Reconciliation sex time sorry for being skeptical of your out-of-body experience hun until McCarthy pulled a Swift and Wesson out of her vagina and proceeded to have intercourse with the gun. I don't know why intercourse. Asking her boyfriend, who's crazy, you or me? So she's fucking herself with the gun. Yeah, okay. Exercise. My kind of gal. Yeah. What? Who's crazy, you or me? Why, you have a gun in your pussy. You got it. You got it. so she was she was telling him about having some sort of an alien abduction experience he didn't want to believe he thought she was crazy so she's like i'll show you yeah you win you win i think you win you got abducted yeah i'm not arguing bro she might have yeah she might have i mean imagine you get abducted by aliens and you have to tell people and you're like a person who wants to be taken seriously in all their walks of life and you have Tell them that they drained your sperm on a spaceship and showed you hybrids.

3:22:52That's why I kind of believe the Lazar dude. When we went to dinner, he was shell-shocked a little bit. 100%. He was reluctant. Uh-huh. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. That's why I brought you. I was like, come sit with me because this is the first time I'm hanging with this guy. I think you and me together would be a fun combination to sit down and talk to Bob Lazar. And it was just like, it was almost like he didn't want to share it in a lot of ways. Yeah. And. Imagine people think you're a kook for 40 years. Yeah. For 40 years, people have been thinking you're out of your fucking mind. You're a liar.

3:23:30You make things up. And then over time, all of a sudden footage starts emerging. And like 2017 of these crafts doing exactly what you described, moving in a way that's exactly like what you were saying. and then there starts getting these whistleblowers, these David Grushes and Lou Elizondo say, we have a crash retrieval program. We've had it for a long time. The problem is these defense contractors have access to this stuff. They lied to Congress. There's misappropriation of funds. There's a lot attached to this, and that's why they're not releasing it, which is nuts, if that's true. Yeah. That's why I always say when people ask me, they're like, I would just be like, I believe he believes it.

3:24:08Yeah. I can't say what it is. Obviously, I'm not there. I don't know anything, but I don't think he was a, what are they called, a charlatan or whatever that word is. I don't think he's making this up for attention. Right. No, I don't think so either. I believe he believes what he saw. Something happened. He saw something, and he was a legitimate propulsions expert, and he really did work for Los Alamos Labs, which is doing all sorts of wild shit. And then he really did work for Area S4. Like somehow or another, he was shipped over there to Area 51, Site 4, and he says they have UFOs. He said they have like seven of them.

3:24:46Good. He said one of them is really old. He said they said it was a part of an archaeological dig. Here's what's crazy about that. I have this guy, Ben Van Kirkwijk. He has that YouTube page called Uncharted X, and he's a great guy. Yeah. They have found through the use of ground penetrating radar, they found these labyrinths in Egypt that are so fucking huge and underground, like deep underground. But these massive corridors that lead into these atriums. And they found a 40 meter long metallic object that's under the ground in Egypt. 40 meters long metallic some unknown metal that's under the ground and it doesn't whatever it is they know it's metallic it doesn't have any sort of signature that is reminiscent of any other metal that we know about it was a specific it was a specific historical site i think yes found in egypt herodotus talked about it what was it called um i think it's called the labyrinth i think that's how it's referred but yeah this is not like uh it's like a figment of people's imagination like this is something historically documented throughout time for thousands of years and that her audits talked about it being greater than the pyramids of giza underground and since so in 1960 um ben was telling us in the 60s they uh built a dam and you know to help the farmers in the area and unfortunately it raised the water table oh and that's fucked it up and it flooded these labyrinths because otherwise they would have just been able to dig down into it and enter in and now it's all filled with water.

3:26:30Is it filled with water or sediment because of the expansion of the water? It's both. And there's sediment, of course, that comes with the water, but there's water. But then below the water table is where the labyrinth. So he's saying there might be a way that they could tunnel from the side past where the water comes in, but they don't want to admit that it's real. All these Egyptologists are kind of freaked out about it. Ozahi? Yeah, I saw that. Yeah, I don't know if that went the way that he thought it was going to go. It went the way I thought it was going to go. Yeah, I know. Gavin, pay attention.

3:26:59You know what I mean? It's not going to go as you see it going. I'm really high on California. Yeah. I like how he's trying to tweet as Trump. You don't even have your own style. You're mocking his style to try to tweet. Trump is kinder than me, bro. He's also making things up like California derangement syndrome. Yeah. No, it's like these are facts. The people are frustrated. Yeah. And they have the right to be frustrated. Don't gaslight your own people. I think that's upsetting. Like if I was from there and I was upset with what was going on and I complained about it and the guy who's in charge says, oh, you're just deranged.

3:27:37Yeah, listen, you don't see a similar uprising against Florida. You don't. Florida boomed economically during COVID. Yeah. You know, a lot of people moved there. Why? Because they had completely different regulations and they allowed people to be free. and now DeSantis is even talking about removing property tax, which is a game changer because that really is kind of gross. I don't know. I don't understand any of it. Yeah, me neither. I don't fucking know. But like that is tricky though, the idea that like you buy a home and then you continually have to pay the government to own your own home.

3:28:10How about even worse? What if you bought a home a long time ago and you paid$20 ,000 for it in like 1940 and now all of a sudden it's worth$2 million. So you have taxes on$2 million. Oh, it's not based on? Different states have different rules. Okay. But in some states, you have to pay tax on the amount of money your house is worth. Is it the justification that this is what maintains the streets and this is what maintains the community? Well, the justification is, say, if you buy a$2 million home, you should be contributing with your property taxes to schools and all sorts of other things, which totally makes sense.

3:28:41I believe in that, yeah. But the problem is, like, if you're 80 years old and you bought this house for$20 ,000 and you're on Social Security and now all of a sudden you owe money on something you already bought to a government that does a terrible job of using your money. Yeah. Terrible job. Documented terrible job of spending your money. Yeah. Yeah. I just – I don't know why he's poking the – I don't know why he's poking, man. I don't know why he's poking. also like didn't trump's kid pipe his wife or whatever his ex yeah well i would have tweeted that

3:29:21i'm more petty than these motherfuckers that you're not gonna talk shit about me and my voice and my kid piped your wife that's coming out immediately why don't you pull my kid's dick out of your wife. That's my immediate tweet. Interesting. It's interesting. I think there's... APAC, I've never thought about it. It is interesting. It's just interesting. You ran short of words, son. For a guy who's really good at talking, they brought up APAC, you clammed up right quick. Real fast. I never thought about it. I thought about JPEG, but not APAC. I never thought about it. Now you can think. Meanwhile, he just passed some sort of anti-Semitism thing.

3:30:05Oh, there's another. Yeah. What was the anti-Semitism thing that they just pushed through? No. Wait, wait. Was it the one about the schools that they then rebuked it? Oh, I don't know. It was just something someone was connecting it to. It was a Twitter thing that I was reading. Someone was saying, oh, this is why Gavin Newsom didn't want to say anything when they were talking about AIPAC. He wants it bad. You can tell he wants it bad. Yeah. But it's almost like having less time in government is beneficial to becoming president. 100 percent. That's why I think if the Democrats have somebody that's really got a shot, it's that Tallarico guy.

3:30:39James Tallarico. The guy that you had on the podcast? Yeah. I think he's legitimate. I think he's a real deal. What he says he is is what he is. Very religious person. He has a really good point. When he talks about Texas, there's these very, very wealthy billionaires that are trying to turn the state into theocracy. And they want to – that's why they got the Ten Commandments pushed into every school, all the public schools here. He's like they want to defund public schools and fund religious schools. And he's like these people are dangerous. This idea is dangerous. And like the far right is just as dangerous as the far left.

3:31:11And if you're on the right and you don't recognize this kind of shit is – and this is a really religious guy. And that's where you trust it even more. someone actually really believes in it that's pushing back and goes this is against like the values of our country yes he might agree with all those things that they're pushing but he's like i don't think it should be like governmentally enforced in schools he's very well versed in the bible and is literally in seminary right now like this is a guy that's very religious like legitimately religious and has been his whole life but that's the thing you need to shake shit up and you especially need to shake shit up with your own party i mean that's what trump did with republicans that's what any candidate that ends up winning does is you have to be like the candidate of rebellion to a certain extent like you've even seen what's happened in new york right now like you could hate every policy that mom donnie has but you can't deny that he's at least saying things that tap into the concerns and frustrations of new yorkers right you left those people out of the conversation exactly and now the chickens have come home to roost there it is so it's like i will not at all i'll i won't at all criticize him for trying to fix problems that people have when the other guys there are just saying we're not going to do anything.

3:32:18Yeah. I think it was a lot of times the frustrations with the last election. It's just like people are frustrated with Biden. They just didn't think that he was all there. They didn't know who's running the country and they didn't like what was happening. And then she came in and she wouldn't separate herself at all. So that's on you. Like you have to give people, you have to give people hope. And oftentimes hope is being the candidate of rebellion. And that usually is what ends up winning. Do you see people ragging on her conversation with Kara Swisher? She was on stage with Kara Swisher and And she even Kara Swisher was kind of like she was like, you know, a lot of some people said that I was the most qualified person to ever run for president.

3:32:54Like, who said that? And Kara's like, some people said that. Like, who said that? You were literally running against a guy who was already president. So if you're going, if you're going based on your resume, you're not more qualified than Biden. Biden was the vice president of the United States for eight years. Best thing for the Republican Party right now is her book tour, because every time she talks on camera, there's a reminder as to why she lost. When she went away for a while, I think you could be like you could pretend about what she was and what she stood for. Yeah. But the second she does an interview and she's like, I couldn't have Pete be my vice president.

3:33:32He's a gay. And then Rachel Maddow is like, what do you mean? She's like, no, I'm not exactly saying, but he likes guys. Yeah. You're like, what is going on right now? It's too risky. It's too risky. Yeah. Why? How dare you say Merry Christmas? How dare you? It's like the same thing, man. Did you see your Columbus Day message to America? What was the Columbus Day? Oh, God. It was like, don't forget the horrors that the Europeans did to the... Okay. Jesus Christ. Did he even get here? Scolding. Did he get here or not? Columbus? No. Did not get here. No. Some people got here. Take that up with the Dominican Republic or whatever.

3:34:08Where he landed. That's what I'm saying. But it wasn't Columbus necessarily. I mean, the idea is I think it's Indigenous Peoples Day. I think it stopped being Columbus Day after a while. Yeah. And they call it Indigenous Peoples Day, which makes sense. Yeah. I mean, like, shout out to them. I think it's funny when governments do these things to, like, enforce care. Like, anytime I'm performing in Canada, like, if it's on, like, an indigenous area, they make me do, like, a— Yeah, a land acknowledgement. And I remember the first time they told me, I was like, you want me to do what? And they're like, yeah, we want you to let them know that this used to be native land.

3:34:40And I'm like, I remember telling it to the chief of the tribe. And I'm like, brother, that kind of seems like I'm bragging. Like I'm going up there and be like, yo, this used to be yours. But the boys came in. Got y 'all the fuck out of here. Like, you really want me to go and remind everybody what happened before the comedy show? You know what my favorite part about that is? It's a land acknowledgement, but also saying we're not giving it back. That's what I'm saying. We stole it, but it's ours now. So what do we do? Who are we doing this for? Sorry. We're going to acknowledge the fact that we're on stolen land.

3:35:13But the thing is, these people that go along with that are also the same people that want no borders. And no one's illegal being anywhere. Like Christopher Columbus is the only immigrant they hate. Yo, that was... There's no borders. That's a funny bit. You know, no one's illegal, but yet these people shouldn't have been here. We let a Spanish-speaking guy into America once. Went great.

3:35:45Can't see any problem with that. Ended the Mayan Empire. They gave him all fucking diseases. Jesus Christ. No, it's hilarious. Think about what they did, what Cortez did to Mexico. I know. Like, my God. I know, it's nuts. Yeah, fucked up shit happened. Yeah, it's like, yeah, human beings did that. But also, yeah, bad. The diseases. The slaughter. Also, what they did to each other was horrible. Yeah. I mean, human beings do fucked up shit. Yeah, and always have. We're here now. What are we going to do now? That's my worry. What are we going to do now? It's like you go into the doctor, you got lung cancer, and the doctor's like, let's talk about all them cigarettes you were smoking.

3:36:24And it's like, why don't we talk about all that chemo you're going to give me? Like, tell me what we're going to do now to get rid of this shit. Right. Don't tell me about what I did. I know what I did. Yeah. All right, brother. Oh, boy. Go play some fucking paddle. This is fun. You got to come. I got to get you on a paddle call. I can't today. I got too much shit to do. All right, fine. One of these days. I'm getting out there. One of these days. I'll go out there with you. Anyway, I love you, Doug. I love you, too, brother. Always good to hang. Always great to hang. Yes, sir. My man. Yes, sir.

3:36:50All right. Bye, everybody. Peace.

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