#2442 - Ehsan Ahmad

29:28Because you're only selling to like rich, famous people. You're only selling to like heads of J.P. Morgan. You're selling all your hash to those guys. And they're like, well, who did he sell the hash to? Nobody. Somebody bought$100 million with a hash. And there's nobody. You have no person. That doesn't make any sense. There's no crime. So he didn't really sell it. You could say he possesses it, but maybe intent to distribute. But if you want to get him for actual distribution and selling of hash, he's got to sell it to somebody. Man. At least an undercover agent. Right. But in this situation, it's like, did we ever really think anyone was really going to go to jail for this?

30:06I feel like with continual constant pressure, it has to slowly leak out. Man, I wish I was that optimistic about it. They've done a good job of keeping the names out of the press even after they said they would leak them. It says here, FBI and DOJ records from 2019 reference about 10 individuals described as an alleged Epstein co-conspirators, including Maxwell and French modeling agent Jean-Luc Brunel, who died in French custody in 2022. That's a way to get out of it, too. Be like, oh, he sold it. She sold it to a dead guy. Yeah, but it's also this is not saying that sold it to them. They're co-conspirators.

30:48So they were probably involved in facilitating. They're probably involved in acquiring these girls making connections because that guy owned a modeling agency So he's already a modeling agent right right right so that guy's getting him girls So he's a co-conspirator. It's not saying that he was John, you know He was a John that was getting the girls. He was a co-conspirator So there's at least ten individuals who were also which makes sense if you have this giant blackmail ring It's not gonna be like one guy, right? I also find it funny the whole we Mark, that Mark Epstein guy, his just brother came out of nowhere for like a little bit.

31:25For a little bit. Yeah. And he's like, fuck this. It's like, wait, first of all, what do you mean a brother that just knows everything that happened? Because he came out and said that wasn't like the email that was like, oh, Clinton, Trump sucked Clinton's dick. Yeah. He was like, no, Bubba wasn't Clinton. But you didn't say he didn't suck someone's dick. You just said like, it wasn't Clinton. Trump sucked some guy to Bubba's dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some truck driver. Yeah, yeah. What were you just showing us? And then he disappeared. that a few of those people were protected by the 2008 non-prosecution agreement.

31:56Oh, that little slap on the wrist protected a bunch of people. Right. And so they continued to be protected? Is that the idea? That's where no, I don't know if anybody knows. Nothing's better in law than a technicality, huh? That's a slippery one. So what did Epstein's brother wind up saying? He said it wasn't Bubba, which implied that he knew exactly what was going on on the island the whole time. and is just out and about. But he's still saying that Trump sucks someone's dick? Yeah. And then he just straight up disappeared.

32:28Where the fuck did he go? We just learned about him. Man, I believe a lot of things. I do not believe Trump sucks someone's dick. Because he doesn't do drugs. You know what I mean? When Charlie Sheen was saying he sucks some guy's dick, like, okay, Charlie was doing so much crack, it was out of his fucking mind. I feel like that level of power is a drug at that point. I mean maybe I don't think so I don't know it's a very I don't think it's gonna get a guy like Trump to suck a dick It just doesn't seem that's a guy who's fucked up on drugs. It's like when did he was doing it We're all doing drugs.

33:01It's a drug thing, right? Yeah, unless you're a gay man It's a drug thing to go around sucking dick So we're assuming that Trump's been hiding the gay the entire not a chance in hell That'd be the most impressive hide of all time. Also. Why would he do that? Yeah, there's no reason. If you're open and you're gay, side with the fucking Democrats. That's the move. You can probably do all the exact same things when you get into office. It's all horseshit. I tried to follow up question, and it does not know who's in charge of Epstein's estate. It's thinking. Look at it thinking. Your laptop's about to blow up.

33:35I would stop. Bro, fucking drone's about to hit the building. The mothership's going to be on fire tonight when we get there. So, yeah. Jesus Christ, man. It's so funny. It's like it's an attempted cover-up of corruption that would have been successful in the 70s. Right. If they had pulled this shit off in the 70s or the 80s, gone. Well, it's the whole Franklin scandal. Sure. Yeah, they killed that reporter. Yes. They killed that reporter. There was definitely some underage sexual thing going on there, and they were like dead. You and your son. That's what you get for fucking around. Yeah, man.

34:11We'll kill both of you. There have well, you know, Tucker's talked about this and a few other people talked about this There's a bunch of secretly gay politicians. Oh, yeah, and then there's probably a bunch of secret pedophiles as well Yeah, I mean definitely for sure There's definitely I'd like I can I pulled that once on bottom of the barrel just secretly gay Republicans That was my thing and then I was like can you imagine how good that sex feels? especially after you spent all day being like it's bad it's wrong and then that sex is extra hot yeah because you're going against god and your party at one time some twink with his converse on and then you go back and be like family value like that level of i think there's a lot of them that are putting on a show a lot of them they're putting on an act and you you're never going to get to know who they really are and that's why when something comes out it's like shocking like oh right they're all fucking weirdos they're all weirdos you have to be a weirdo to want to run the or you have to be like this amazing person like it's two options right gandhi or weirdo yeah i mean and speaker pedophiles we had a speaker of the house that was a pedophile for like eight years that's right yeah yeah a real one a real deal pedophile a real deal convicted pedophile.

35:32What was his name again? Hastert? Hastert. I think it might have been Hastert. I think so. I feel like we should look that up. Let's look that up. I don't want to be like, oh, Hastert was like a nice guy and we're calling him a pedophile, but... Speak of the house. He was involved in a very big scandal of it, right? Yeah, Dennis Hastert. Yeah. It was like some Sandusky shit. It was at a school that he was teaching at. Exactly. Allegations that Senate... Scroll up a little bit. Senate candidate Roy Moore spent his 30s dating, propositioning, and sexually assaulting high school-aged girls was shocking, but not without precedent.

36:03There have been plenty of congressmen who carried on sexual relationships with teenagers from Thomas Jefferson. That was back when people died when they were 18. Strom Thurmond, perhaps more dastardly Illinois rep Dennis Hastert, served as Speaker of the House from 1999 to 2007. And a little further down, and additionally agreed that Hastert sodomized a fourth-grade boy in a school bathroom and threatened him if he reported assault. That's like Sandusky stuff. Jesus Christ. Since the statute of limitation had expired on these crimes Hastert was instead convicted of evading bank reporting requirements in order to Secretly pay off his victims.

36:39That's so funny. He served 15 months in prison. That's it. Holy shit That's so crazy to pay off your victims and not do it in cash What a lot of money. Yeah, that's a lot of money. That's fair. I bet it was I bet it was quite a bit of money Holy shit, dude. Yeah, and just speaker of the house. So if there's one kid that got sought, a fourth grade boy in a school bathroom, how many more did he do that to? How many just don't want the shame of it coming out publicly? How many guys are struggling with it right now? They're 35 years old. They don't want to tell that story. Right. That ruined their life because the speaker of the house fucked them.

37:16Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. And he, so he's not alone. No. Right? No. That's the Franklin scandal. And there's no way that wasn't uncovered beforehand by people. Just the way the political machine works. But that's like sort of like you get. This episode is brought to you by Roe Nutrition. Glutathione might be one of the most important molecules in your body that nobody talks about. Every single cell uses it. Your liver depends on it. It helps your body deal with oxidative stress, environmental toxins, and even the wear and tear from hard training. But age, stress, alcohol, and lack of sleep all drain your glutathione levels.

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39:50Me for this, I'll get you for this. So you keep that under wraps. You just have that in your back pocket. I think it's just part of that game that they play. Oh, for sure. It's like Game of Thrones. For sure. It's definitely part. It really is. It really is like Game of Thrones. it's just yeah whorehouses and like and also house of cards right it sucks that kevin spacey got busted because that show ruled i know right but you know it's so funny because thinking back on it like if you looked about movies i my genuine take before he got busted for this is he plays the greatest villains yes he's like the greatest villain actor of all time he's the greatest creep he's like a brilliant creep like with darkness behind his eyes oh yeah yeah and then can turn it on the charm that southern charm how about when he did that fucking weird video in front of the fireplace oh dude in character kill him with kindness right after the witness to his case died like another witness to his case died yeah like what people were dropping or like flies around space see the crazy real deal villain shit acting out the literal plot lines as the character being the character while he's tending the fire goes to show you you can still be a i mean he's still a genius artist amazing yeah just like a wow amazing and in any other time he would have never gotten caught that's just how the machine worked yeah i mean he's just one of those guys that got an immense amount of power and he was just a dick grabber like give me that dick and I bet a lot of guys were like okay that's the problem with wild pitches you know you fucking swing at every pitch you're gonna hit a few you know but he's probably you know for all these guys that he grabbed dicks and said you know probably drunk probably fucked up how many guys like let him suck their dick a lot I bet I bet it was an effective strategy right especially for famous in Hollywood if he did it to gay guys but he was like the The one guy that the story broke was a young teenager, right?

41:54Was he like 14 or something like that? Yeah. And they were working together or something like that? It was definitely a minor. But it's also like, why is that teenager at a minor with a bunch of drunk gay guys? Like, hey, where's your dad? The fuck is going on? What are you doing there? But it's, you know, it's not excusing him for doing it. The thing about people in the gay community is they look very differently at teenage boy gay teenage boy men relationships than we do at like Teenage girl men relationships. They look at it very differently like Milo got in trouble for that Is Milo on on my podcast was talking about this guy that molested him.

42:38He was like trust me. I was the predator Right. That's what he said That's a crazy thing to say but they look at it differently oh yeah that's uh i remember someone was uh i was living in la and we had this gay dude who was sleeping on the uh you know we had a uh bed in the living room for guests to stay over so he was he like lived there for like two months and they were we were watching call me by your name and he it's like a it's like a it's army hammer and maybe it's chalamet i forgot i i was in and out my roommates were watching it but it's like a about a gay story between an older man and a younger boy and um yeah he he would say he said this read like he was watching it like oh this reads like a fan fiction of an older gay dude being in love with like a younger gay guy yeah it's like a i remember that i remember him telling us that i'm like okay that's interesting well i mean it kind of makes sense right because we think very differently of like a high school football player that winds up banging a really hot science teacher.

43:43Yeah. You know, you're not mad. You're just like, this is crazy. That lady's crazy. She's 35. She's got two kids. She fucks a 17-year-old boy in the bathroom. Yeah, I said that earlier. Female pedophiles become teachers. That is what they do. They find the way. It's very, very, very different than the scenario of like the football coach that's banging the cheerleader. That's crazy. Yeah, that's way darker. That makes you want to lynch him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's way grosser. It's weird, right? Yeah. It is weird. Yeah. It's like, yeah. With every time, there's a South Park episode about it. Every time you hear that story about the older teacher fucking the young boy, every guy's kind of like, nice.

44:22Yeah. Well, you know how the best joke about it was Zach Galifianakis. He said, do you hear the boy died? Yeah. His friends high-fived him to death.

44:36man that live at the purple onion oh fantastic that was that was a that was a fucking great special what is he doing these days i have no idea he was on that show for a while in fx baskets that was really good about the clown louie anderson won the emmy on it he owns a farm somewhere he has like a farm that's i think he's like he's very smart have you ever talked to him I've never met him. I've never. The only time I saw him, the only time I saw him live was at Brody's memorial. Yeah, he was real tight with Brody. He is one of the ways that I found out that Brody was off his meds. He contacted me.

45:11Do you remember that one time when Brody got real kind of like almost aggressive crazy and was like yelling at people in the audience sometimes? And it got weird. It wasn't like performance arty anymore. It was like, what's happening with Brody? and then he got back and he like bounced it out. Brody had like legit problem. Whatever it was, whatever his mental health issue was, like he needed medication. Like he was legit crazy and Zach contacted me and said it seems like Brody's off his meds so just don't engage with him. Damn. So it's like you gotta kind of figure out a way to corral him, get him back on his stuff and But man, when he was in that main room when he was in that main room and what was left of the crowd was rocking with him.

45:56It was just so much fun just watching him play drums. He came to the improv one night. We were doing a later show, so it was like a 10 o 'clock show, and he was on late. And the show was kind of Peter now. You know how it does. At the time, it was probably like about half full. And then, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Brody Stevens. Brody takes his shirt off and starts swinging it around in the air like a flag. He goes through the crowd. Let's go! Energy! And like he just gets everybody fired up. He immediately breaks out the drumsticks, starts fucking drumming on the seat, and then starts telling jokes and just changed the whole tempo of the room.

46:39Like everything lit up. It was awesome. It was like that's what Brody can do. Yeah. With pure charisma and talent and just personality. And anytime I see him like anytime I see a person in the audience like this all arms crossed negative That's all I can think it's like wow you are giving me negative energy right now for no reason For no reason you're at a show come and enjoy it You know especially when you see it because I cold open a lot you see it like like you see people be like why are you Why'd you come here like impress me like you're already here Enjoy the energy sometimes for people to loosen up you have the hardest job when you have when we do those Joe Rogan and Friends shows and you cold open.

47:19I've only cold opened a few times over the last few years. Yeah. Over the last 10 years. It's hard. You've got to hypnotize those people. You've got to slowly work your way into the rhythm of jokes. Oh, yeah. You have to sort of like... I like it because it's energy matching. You have to find out where they are, catch on to them, and then bring them to the energy that you want. You know who's really good at it? Yeah. Hans Kim. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really good at it. Well, it's just straight jokes. Uh-huh. It's just straight jokes, and he's funny looking. You know like he's got a big smile on his face like he's having fun you kind of get into his groove real quick And you know he did so many arenas with me in so many big places And he was the perfect guy because he would just go let me tell you something about myself Right away he would take control of the room.

48:05It was awesome Derek's great at bringing him into it's fun watching It's fun watching the different people like their different cold open strategy Derek is just like getting everybody fired up excitement and he's so lovable, you know He's got, again, so much charisma. Right, yeah. But the cold opening for as long as I have done, and my career even pre-this club, it made me so much stronger. Because it's almost like running with ankle weights on. And then now, leading up to me releasing Too Soon, I was like, oh, I was like, all these spots I was getting at the end of the shows, these were material this is all material that i tested at the beginning of rogan and friends which especially at the beginning of the club a lot of people were like wait you're not rogan talking to a friend like they thought they were coming to a live podcast before you know it took a while before the shows were like oh yeah this is a stand-up show so really yeah people thought it was going to be a podcast at the very beginning there were some episodes where you had to like introduce the concept of this is going to be stand-up yeah yeah now it's not like that but At the very beginning, it for sure was.

49:09But it was like I felt my material was battle-tested. Well, it certainly is. The running with weights is a great analogy. That's exactly what it is. Yeah, it makes the jokes so much stronger. You know what else is really good for your act is hosting. Yeah. Because you go up so often. One of the things that really helped a lot of guys at the store was hosting potluck. Because, you know, there's all this chaos. Someone just bombed something crazy just happened someone just did something completely fucking insane You have a chance to make fun of it reset the room reset the room And there's a comfort level that comes out because you're essentially doing stand-up from 8 p.m.

49:51to 2 a.m. Yes Yeah, when I first started when I lived in first was a door guy in Hollywood Derek was booking the madhouse and I would come down and host the weekend shows so every day I'd host from every weekend or two weekends a month I would host from five to two in the morning because you'd host the open mic afterwards and you just host the entire night it's a full day's worth of hosting that's awesome yeah it's like it's it's because the opening spots suck but like they make you better it's the ones that suck that make you better it's definitely well you realize like where the sloppy parts of your bits are like you're saying them you're like Like, ew.

50:25Right. You know? Like, it gets you. You're like, ew. Right. Like, whereas when the crowd's popping and they're laughing at everything they want to laugh, you can get that through and it'll actually get a laugh. But then when, like, it's quiet and it's the beginning of the show, you realize, oh, this bit sucks. Right. Like, oh. I got to bring this bit to the garage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to not put it up front. What was I thinking? I got to tighten this motherfucker up. But it's, you know, there's plenty of other spots. That's the beautiful thing. I mean, we're running four shows a night. Every night.

50:55Oh. And there's so much around the scene. There's so much. I was telling someone in L.A., it's like, oh, if I chose not to get up 10 spots in front of an audience member in a week at the very least, then I chose that. Because it's so easy to just go out and get spots. There's so many spots. With people and, like, around – in downtown alone, there's, like, 12 dedicated comedy rooms. It's insane. Did you see – was it Rappaport that got kicked off of a show at Cap City? They canceled his show? Yes, they canceled Rappaport. And let me see what the post was, because they said something like there's another big club that will have you or something like that.

51:30Yeah. Are they insinuating that we would have him and that he's racist and we would have him? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. They just assume the mothership is full of racist people. They don't. Yeah, people do. But the guy that owns that is the guy that owns Helium. Yeah, but no, not just that. I think that's pervasive around comedy for sure. It's nonsense. They're pretending they think that. There's no way they think that. If you just look at the lineup, there's no way they think that. Well, no one's looking at the lineup. They're really like, oh, Joe and Tony support Trump, so this must be filled with racist people.

51:57That's what it is. What did they say? Could you pull up the— Yeah, it has to—I mean— I think they phrased it in an interesting way. So, Austin for Palestine Coalition— That's a Rappaport. It's pretty funny. That's a Rappaport. That's actually pretty funny. He's done canceled. Thank you, Cap City Comedy and Helium Management, for listening to Austin and canceling the racist provocateur Michael Rappaport's show. at your establishment. And so, Hey Michael Rapaport, there's a, is it make sure, yeah yeah, the caption is like, there's another club insinuating that we would take, that the mothers should take them.

52:34But what is this? This is just Austin comedy. That's just someone's account. It's just someone's account, yeah. That's when, when I first moved here, that was when I, that's how I figured out where all the open mics and shows were. But they're not even accusing us. It says, pretty sure there's another club or large venue space that will welcome you, that aren't run by Helium. So, But there's a lot of places that that's not necessarily they're saying us. If you still want to make a stop in Austin, just let them know. Most of us here are friendly and won't use politics and hate to cancel silence performers.

53:04So that seems like they're kind of saying like, hey, Michael, come do another spot. Do it somewhere else. I don't think they're accusing him of that. Right. That sounds more supportive of him coming here and saying most of us are friendly and won't use politics and hate to cancel and silence performance. So that's not helium saying that. I guess he's outspokenly pro-Israel for this to happen. I'm not paying attention to that dude because I feel like a lot of it is needy. You know what I mean? There's a lot of trying to get attention too hard. Right. It's like, he's not a dumb guy. He's got some really good points, but the problem is if you try too hard you doing it all the time Then the good points miss me right they miss me because you're already long That other silly shit.

53:53Mm-hmm. They're just lost in a sea like yeah Which is good and bad depending on whether or not you want to be taken seriously, right? I don't want to be taken seriously. So like if I do UFO shows or Bigfoot shows like good. Oh, he believes in dragons good Good. Good. Don't take me seriously. Yeah. But when you're talking about something like Israel and Palestine, I guess, because it said something for citizens for Palestine. Yeah, it had to have been. They're not canceling. The coalition for Palestine is not going out of their way. I had no idea anybody was calling Michael Rappaport racist. Oh, well, yeah.

54:27This is the first Michael Rappaport news I've heard in years, if I'm going to be honest. I had no idea. There was an organized campaign to stop his shows? There must be. If it's happening here, it's happening everywhere, right? It has to be.

54:42Okay. Since early November, our coalition sent several emails. That's all it took. No, it says they were ignored. While employees had privately shared that they're uncomfortable. Oh, they privately shared that. With anti-Palestinian hate monger Rappaport being hosted, management seems unwilling to listen to their community. That's not necessarily their community. That's just some people in the community. Rappaport isn't just a fanatical Zionist with political views we disagree with. He's a racist who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children. He mocks immigrants and supports ICE detentions of people whose viewpoints he dislikes.

55:17Additionally, he has a reputation for being generally disliked by people he's worked with, doxing his political opponents, and has been accused of working with Fox News to spread fake propaganda. Okay, this is like a lot. Yeah, this is, yeah. Who wrote this? Austin for Palestine Coalition. So maybe it's just in Austin. Oh, yeah, that's it. Austin. And then they got him out of Cap City. Yeah. So go back up to the top of that thing. What is the original? That's it. No, no, no, no, no. The original thing that I read. It said he's a racist who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children. Is that true?

55:57I don't think that's true. We'd have to go through his. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like when you say something like that. You just have to take that for face value that he does that if you want to believe that. I've never seen anything like that. I would imagine that if he did something like that, it would go viral. Maybe not. Mocking dead children? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Maybe not. Probably. In this day and age? Yeah. He's famous enough for sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's straight up mocking. If you're mocking dead children. Look at the people that mocked Charlie Kirk. The fucking hate came strong.

56:27Oh, yeah. They all lost their jobs. They felt the heat. Yeah, immediately. Immediately. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Like the internet makes people very comfortable with putting their initial emotional reaction out for everyone to see and it's like Derek talks about it's like we got to go back to the times when like people were like oh you can't post yourself with a red cup Because like a job might see that you won't get the job like that you think you're drinking Like just full-on sketches of like people dying and like you see so many people die just constantly too So it's like everyone's just desensitized everything.

57:03There's a lot of desensitization There's a lot of people that also live in these echo chambers and they think when they say thing like who is that one lady? That it was that she was a CEO somewhere She had a very high level position somewhere and she posted on her Instagram story I think something like that supposed to rest in piss Charlie Kirk, right? Like Like you're a regular person with a real job Talking about a guy who got murdered you just wrote rest and piss on the internet because in their bubble They were saying that kind of stuff and they thought it was a cool thing to say. Yeah, your algorithm is so designed to just show you what things that agree with you.

57:40Right. So everyone gets more and more like, oh, everyone believes this. Everyone, because everyone around or everyone I perceive to be around me believes that. And when really it's just, it's like half of it's fake. Most of it is just some Pakistani guy. Right. Yeah, somewhere with like a million phones. Have you seen a new AI where you can - Just constant - No, no, no. The new one where you can be any celebrity and it looks exactly like that celebrity. So all your movements, you could be like, you know, Mike from Stranger Things. Damn. And it's super accurate. Damn. Like crazy accurate. We're getting to the point where like surveillance videos won't be admissible in court.

58:21Like it's going to be up to there. It will all have to be on the blockchain. But even that, like I don't understand the blockchain. Do you? Who knows if something's manipulated? Yeah, see if you can find that video because there was one performer who did a series of different people from stranger things He did like L from stranger things and Mike from and it's fucking nuts So the same person just moving their hands around and talk right and they look Exactly like the other person right so now you're seeing heavily manipulated content like you Unless you go out of your way to look for another opinion You're just gonna become entrenched in your own opinion.

59:02That's sort of the problem with what's happening right now It's like or entrenched in the opinion that they want that they want Yes, they want to promote you just sort of like oh you're just being fed this constant line of like bullshit You gotta do some like algorithm cleanses. That's what like Fuck like you know, they could go on juice cleanses. You gotta do that with your algorithm You know I think honestly what you got to do is stay offline. Yeah, you're gonna get got no matter what your your algorithm It's eventually going to catch you again. It's like, I'm going to do a little heroin this time.

59:28And the next thing you know, you're a full-on heroin junkie. Right, right. For me, it's like there's so many videos of people getting killed by alligators and lions that are fake. And they just look a little off. Like the lion jumps in the car and pulls them out. You're like, no. You're like, something's wrong with this. The way people react. Right now, the reactions of people in the background don't match. Right. Because it used to be you could see the fingers and the fingers would be all fucked up. But they got the fingers pretty down now. They're getting better at that. Now it's like you've got to look in the – if the people in the background aren't reacting, you're like, okay.

59:58Yeah. Like if I was – people in the background would react to a guy getting eaten by a lion. I guess they could probably fix that though with a prompt. Well, that would be the next generation. Everybody in the background scatter. That's the next generation. I don't even think it's the next generation. I think it's just you've got to just ask it to do a better version. Keep correcting it. Asking it to do better. Kind of. Fix this. Fix that. Have you ever done that with a video where you ask it to keep fixing things? No. It gets overloaded and it just gets worse and worse and worse. If you ask it to fix the, it's not good at making an edit on the video you already have.

1:00:27Oh. So you can be like, let's say it'll just generate another thing, and because it's making a video about a video, everything gets fucked up. Look at this. Holy shit. This is crazy, dude. That one looks kind of AI, but this is like a lot of the - That looks a little AI, too. That looks a little AI, too. A little smooth in the face. Mm-hmm. You know, so it's probably better for, do it again, run it again from the beginning. See, no, the first couple ones might get you. It's when one seems like obviously really fake. You know what the thing is, too? I think it's really good with young people. Like him that looks fake for some reason.

1:01:00Yeah, when it got there. But then you realize they all look fake after you see one that looks fake. But not that fake. No. It's just if they did the lighting a little better, you know, it looks a little too bright. But, yeah, see, I wonder if our perception, because the first three look real. I wonder if our perception would change if they put the one of the guy that looks fake first. You feel what I'm saying? Like I don't know because this one looks real like that looks like her like if you just had that one and had her saying a bunch of things I would think it's her saying a bunch of things So if that's well, that's fucking great.

1:01:31We're fucked. We're fucked man Anybody doesn't think we're fucked isn't paying attention. It's gonna get super weird Yeah, and how much how much of that are they gonna use on us in the news? You know? Oh, yeah Oh, it's yeah, it's the news is all the news is already fucked But I was thinking about this the other day, how it's crazy that because our algorithms are so different, I think this is why everyone gets so charged over news things now, is news is the only thing we have in common anymore. Like, there's not really a show that, like, everyone's watching or, like, a set of shows that everyone's watching.

1:02:02Your algorithm sends you things that you like, so you're completely disconnected entertainment-wise to the people around you. And the only thing you really have in common is what's going on in the world. Right. Because that's the only thing that's consistent. And your opinions on it. What side are you on? Yes. Because everything becomes divided. Yes. And you have to have a take on everything. Yeah. Vaccines, food pyramid, Gaza. Yeah. Everything has to have a take. Oh, yeah. Oh, we were cooked as a... Like, companies have to do it. Yeah. I've been saying, like, we've been cooked as a country. I've known we've been cooked as a country ever since Ben and Jerry's had a take on Gaza.

1:02:35It's like, there's no reason for this. Yeah. There's no reason for this. Well, there's a lot of... You're a company trying to sell stuff. There's a lot of incentives for companies to, like, whatever. What is that ESG score? Is that what it is? What is the score that they give? So companies have DEI scores for favorable loans and for government money. It gets real weird when you start intertwining. It gets real communist-y. ESG score evaluates a company's sustainability and ethical impact, measuring its performance in environmental, social, and governance areas, such as carbon footprint, labor practices, and board diversity to help investors and stakeholders access long-term risk and potential.

1:03:20Excuse me, assess long-term risk and potential. Calculated by specialized agencies like MSCI and Sustainalytics, scores often from 0 to 100 or letter grades gauge how well a company manages risk in these non-financial areas, influencing reputation, access to capital. This is what's important. And long-term financial performances. So climate change impact, resource use, waste pollution, energy efficiency, employee relations, diversity and inclusion, labor standards. So you're essentially forcing the company to act a certain way. You can't do it completely as a meritocracy. You have to have a representative board of people, which a lot of people agree with.

1:04:08None of those people are exceptional. None of the people are exceptional at their job that agree you should have specific categories of race or gender replace meritocracy. Right. No one really good, male or female, black, white, Asian, whatever. No one really good at their job wants that. No, no, because that just gets in the way of the job. It's like I have to worry about this social score. Yeah. Fuck off. That's kind of what we're like heading towards right? Well, it's less so now with Trump adore in office There was a guy who was a CEO of some company that was talking about the gigantic shift in dealing with the government that had occurred Right after Trump took office.

1:04:44He was like it was instantaneous like all the restrictions regulations and this is one of the problems with California in particular it's incredibly over regulated So it's really difficult to do anything which is one of the reasons why so few people have even began attempting rebuild their fucking house Right. There's regulations everywhere for everything. It's just over-regulated. Well, didn't the government buy a lot of that land, or are they trying to buy that land right now in the Palisades? I don't think it's government. I think there was people that were interested in doing, like, low-income housing, and then there was, like, whether they were going to carve out things without their speculators.

1:05:19And there was that famous video of Newsom standing in front of the rubble of a burning house going, there's been some discussions. He's doing that little dance. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a sociopath. What a freaky dude. He's running for president. There's no way he's not. Yeah, I mean, good luck, dude. He's absolutely running for president. Good luck, dude. You think there's a lot of fucking fraud in Minnesota? Just wait until they start digging deep into the fraud in California. It's going to take an army of people to do. It's going to take a long time. But look, man, there's so much money missing.

1:05:53They spent$24 billion on the homeless, and they can't account for it. And didn't—is it true that Gavin Newsom—let's find out this, because I saw this whole article about this that said Gavin Newsom vetoed a bill that would do an audit of where the$24 billion to the homeless went. Well, if their goal was to create more homeless with that money, they did a great job. They did a great job. They did a fantastic job. The crazy thing is they're literally incentivized to have more homeless because the more homeless people they have, the more money they get. Which is what? And then you see the salaries of the people that are working on it.

1:06:28Coleon Noir, my friend that's a Second Amendment advocate who's a lawyer, he was the first guy to tell me about that because he's a lawyer and he was in San Francisco. And he was like, why is there so many homeless people here? It's like, do they need more money? And his friend who was a lawyer goes, no, no, no, no, no. This whole thing is a racket. The more homeless people you have, the more you have to fund the homeless initiative. And then you have this entire ecosystem that's built around the homeless. Right. And it's just money is going to executive millions and millions. In California, twenty four billion dollars.

1:06:59OK, David Spade was talking about it. This really happened. He blocked bills for an audit multiple times. Bipartisan Bill AB two nine zero three unanimously passed seventy two to zero in the assembly. 40 to 0 in the Senate and would have forced annual public reports on where the money went and Newsom vetoed it. Is there no system in the state? Because it's like if the president vetoes at a federal level, I'm pretty sure I think if it goes back to the Senate or the House, they can do a two-thirds vote to pass it anyway? I don't understand. There is legislative ways to override a veto. This veto?

1:07:38Federally. I don't know. Federally. I don't know about a state level. It says Gavin Newsom also vetoed similar bills AB 2570 and AB 2093. Wow. That is crazy. Hey, that money's just gone. $20 billion plus dollars in missing homeless money went. That is really wild, man. That you would veto that. That it passes unanimously. And you're like, nah, playa. That's fucking gangster, dude. That's why you become a governor. It's probably a good move if you're really shitty mayor of a place like San Francisco and you ruin it. It better be the governor. Yeah. Tighten up. And stop the investigation. Stop all the fucking loopholes.

1:08:21You know, I would call that good gameplay. On Newsom's part. That is what he's doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like looking at politics from an outside perspective. That's some good gameplay right there. If it's a game, that's exactly what you should do. Great moves. Oh, yeah. It's a great move. Yeah. And now you sort of can launch yourself as this anti-Trump guy. and you're like, oh, it's trying to get on this pod. The problem with that dude is - The presidential run is coming. He lies so much, he doesn't remember that he lied. Like, he gets busted on - We've never used the term Latinx, because Latinos do not like that Latinx bullshit.

1:08:57No. You want to fucking alienate the Mexican-American community? Start calling them Latinx. They're like, bitch, what the fuck are you saying? Well, that's fundamentally - It's a gendered language. Yeah, it's fundamentally against their language. That's the whole point. There are female and male things in their language. It's a gendered language. Yeah, yeah. So everything has to be an ex. That's crazy. That's crazy. Stop. The really crazy thing is, you know, we were talking last night with Jimmy Carr's friend. What was his name? I forgot his name. Sorry, sir. Fun guy. Interesting guy. But we got to talking about the different people that lived in America before Columbus got here and before Cortez got here and before all these Spanish explorers turned the entire country into a Spanish-speaking Catholic country.

1:09:47Right. Which is really nuts, man. You know, you want to talk about colonizing. Like, those people in Mexico, oh, we respect their religion, their culture. that's the culture of their oppressors from just a few hundred years ago they lost a hundred different native languages man they had so many languages in what is now Mexico but wasn't even Mexico until 1820 like whatever it was whatever they called it in the different areas they had like over a hundred different languages that just lost in the wind cause the fucking conquistadors came through and outnumbered they were able to do that Bro, way outnumbered.

1:10:27They had 13 muskets. That's all they had. 600 dudes, 13 muskets. They burned the boats and took over Mexico. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Just the gift of gab, too. Just able to convince Montezuma that they were God. Well, they showed up with metal. They're wearing armor and they're riding horses. They're like, this is crazy. These guys are riding horses? And there's like a famous, what was it, La Malinche? was like a female native to the area who helped them take them down? Oh, there's quite a few people that helped them. They were very clever what they did because there wasn't united tribes because the Aztecs were absolutely brutal.

1:11:07One of the Spanish chroniclers, I forget his name, something Diaz, But one of the Spanish chroniclers before the arrival of Cortez, he was there at the celebration of the completion of one of the temples. I think it was Tenochtitlan. And they killed somewhere between 20 ,000 as the low end and 80 ,000 as the high end. 20 ,000 to 80 ,000 people sacrificed in a four-day ceremony. That's pretty gangster. So these are the people that were there. So those are not loved people. Right, right. So it was really easy for them to get the other tribes and go, hey, guys, we got horses. We got 13 muskets. With your help.

1:11:58We can take them down. We can speak Spanish. Yeah.

1:12:03Carnitas. That's so wild. It is a fucking Mexican word, but it's a Spanish word. Yeah. It's like the language. They had names like North American, Native American names. Right. Like one guy was a cacao lightning god. That was his name. I did a whole bunch of research on these people because I just got fascinated because one of the things about the Aztecs is a lot of these like super complex temples, they didn't build them. They found them. Oh, yeah. We talk about that. Like they called it the place where the gods were born. Yeah. These sort of like civilizations that like clearly probably existed.

1:12:42because this is something that I think about is like okay so do you know the story of the Achaemenid Persian Empire like succession? I don't know it in detail but I'm aware of a lot of it. Right so you have Cyrus he has two kids Cambyses and Bardia he splits up the realm between the two. Cambyses goes off to conquer Egypt but he's like well Bardia is popular so let me secretly kill him and then go off to Egypt. A Magi priest then impersonates Bardia, takes over the Achaemenid Persian Empire, is the ruler now. Cambyses sort of dies on the way back mysteriously. And then a Achaemenid nobleman named Darius is like, hey, this is a Magi imposter, kills Bardia.

1:13:37He is now ruling. Darius leads the Achaemian Persian Empire to be as big as it can be and he's the father of Xerxes the bad guy in 300 so that's but so but that is the only official narrative story we have that's from a first like a primary source and the only reason we have that is because Darius carved that story in himself into a rock relief it's called the Behistun relief so that story is basically propaganda but then 50 years later gets picked up by Herodotus and that becomes the story of the Ascension. There's no other primary source on what happened there. You just have to take Darius' word for it.

1:14:13Wow. Yeah, and that's in the 5th century and the only reason we know that is because someone carved it into a rock. Bro. Right? Like, we're not carving anything into rocks now. So if, yeah, so if something let's say like something happens to the internet tomorrow and it disappears and then our civilization just vanishes off the earth, couple people survive and they build a whole new civilization there's all those lines is that writing or is that erosion i believe that's writing i haven't really go back to that primary the original original okay i think it's right it looks like cuneiform and it's the way it's yeah but that's the only reason we know something that happened from that time is because this exists and we have no idea if it's true yeah we have no idea if it's true but no one's even carving anything into stone for us Right.

1:15:02Oh, yeah. Look at it. Yeah. There's no way. How dope is that language? Yeah. Look how cool that looks. Look how cool that looks. That's how people used to write things down, man. Right. Can AI, like, find – there's got to be some of these. Like, I know there's one from Easter Island that they can't decipher. Have you ever seen that one? No. Graham Hancock explained it. And what he said was essentially the island – it was a very small island. They got raided by slavers and they took everyone except for like a hundred people and the people that they took and enslaved They were the ones who knew how to read this language and then this language is lost forever, right?

1:15:40There's one piece of like woodwork. Yeah, that's it where it's written on look how dope their language looks like zoom in I'm like how crazy is that man? Yes, like what are they saying? And we don't know like I wonder if they could throw that through AI and and get sort of an understanding of what these symbols were. But you'd have to have a base. Like, that was the thing about the Rosetta Stone. The Rosetta Stone really helped people in Egypt because you're like, oh, this is how it's written in Greek. And this is, okay, now we know what it's said in multiple languages. Now we get an understanding of it.

1:16:14Yeah. But so the overall point being, though, is like. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. It's tax season. And by now, I know we're all a bit tired of numbers. But here's an important one for you to hear. $16 billion. That's how much money in refunds the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud. Here's another. One in four honest, hardworking, taxpaying Americans have been a victim of identity theft. But it's not all grim news. LifeLock monitors millions of data points per second for your personal information and alerts you to threats you could easily miss on your own. If your identity is stolen, LifeLock's U.S.-based restoration specialist will fix it, backed by another good number, the million-dollar protection package.

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1:18:50Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash rogan. This offer is for new customers only. In our time, if the internet disappears and we're gone, there's nothing from this time that's really being recorded. It'll just be lost. Oh, yeah. All the hard drive stuff, gone. Yeah, just be lost. We'll have to relearn things. Yeah, but our time, the Americans, there'll just be some ancient thing that people might not know ever existed. It says about the, it's called the Rongorongo. Rongorongo, a glyph-based script from Easter Island, remains undeciphered despite over a century of study. Imagine you're studying it for a century.

1:19:30You can't figure out that language. People's whole lives have been dedicated to this. No one knows exactly what it says, as all attempts to translate it fully have failed, with scholars debating if it's true writing or proto-writing used as a memory aid. A memory aid. Yeah, lines alternate direction, often upside down. Oh, so that's so hard. Even the direction is ever-changing. You're not writing right to left. You're just kind of going wherever you want with it. What is the latest on the Voynich manuscripts? Has anybody thrown that through AI to try to see if it makes any sense? Do you know about that?

1:20:02Yeah, were they found on a guy? Was that one of them? No, it's some weird book. And the question is whether or not this book is just complete gibberish and nonsense or whether it's some lost language. And where it's really detailed, too. What was it found? It's a good question. I don't remember. Published Nabi Cipher. Is that what it's called? Published November 26, 2025 in Cryptologia by science journalist Michael Greshko introduced the Nabi Cipher, which uses 14th century Italian playing cards and dice to encode Latin or Italian text into glyphs mimicking the Voynich manuscript's Voyniches. This cipher replicates key statistical features like glyph frequencies, word lengths, grammar rules suggesting a similar medieval method could have generated the original 15th century text, although it does not decode it.

1:21:02Wow. Have you seen it? See you can find images of it. It's freaky. Where was it found? That's a really good question. Yeah, yeah. Let's find that out now. The Voynich Ninja. There's like groups dedicated to this. People are obsessed with it. I mean, they've been studying. This is a fun thing to be obsessed with. Just do me a favor and just go back to perplexity and say, how was it discovered? Yeah. I'm curious.

1:21:27Because I feel like someone had it and someone bought it from someone. I could have been wrong. I thought it was found on a body. I could be wrong about that. I might be thinking of another thing. It was rediscovered in 1912 by Polish-American rare books dealer Wilfred Voynich. Okay. He named it himself. What a clever guy. I like that. Fuck it. Something of mine survived. It's mine, bitch. They say you died. The second time you die is when someone says your name less, so we're just keeping him alive. He acquired it from the Jesuit college in Frascati, Italy, as a part of a batch of 30 manuscripts discreetly sold amidst the Jesuits' financial difficulties.

1:22:05How many of these motherfuckers in the Vatican are sitting on some shit that they don't have to sell? Oh, yeah. That would, like, change the world completely. Carbon dating places its creation around 1404 to 1438, likely in northern Italy. Emperor Rudolf II bought it in the late 1500s for 600 gold ducats, possibly from John D. It later passed to Jacobus. How about this guy's name? Jacobus Horsiki Depenex. D. Eastern European stuff. Depenex. You can't even. The problem is there's some names like Ioana Janjacek. If you saw the way it's written, there's no way you would pronounce it correctly. Any of those Eastern European names.

1:22:49It's like, how did you even get that? Stayed in Jesuit hands until 1912. He publicized the undeciphered codex, now at Yale's Beinecke Library, sparking global interest despite failed decoding attempts. Pull up some images of it so you can see what it looks like. It's real weird, man. It's real weird and has detailed illustrations. Of like plants and stuff. Oh, here we go. Here's a little video. so you can see like how cool it looks when they're opening up the book anything that you're getting that's a book that's from the fucking 1400s 1200 when is it from? 1500s so 1400s any book that you're getting from the 1400s is fucking wild as it is just imagine these fucking people living back then writing this shit down with a feather just touching it with their bare hands yeah you have to it's actually worse to do it with gloves Really?

1:23:46Yeah, they found out that gloves, the rubber is more abrasive. Than your finger? The oils of your finger is actually more protective or something along those lines. Wow. Look how cool that looks, though. Yeah. And they don't know if that's a real language. That's what's nuts. You can't decode it. This is a good YouTube rabbit hole. It's a good one. Yeah. It's an interesting one because people say it's a hoax, but the thing about it is if it's a hoax, it's like really well done and very complex. and an incredible amount of time dedicated to it. The Fagot is still tripping up people now. It's like this all-time great hoax then.

1:24:21Sort of, but think about how many languages we've lost. Like we just talked about 100 languages were lost somewhere around that in what is now considered Mexico. Now, you know, think about the rest of the world. Like here's another instance. Mobs of indigenous people in Australia, the Aborigines. Right. So they call themselves mobs instead of a tribe. Oh, right, right. And they have mobs that will live six, ten kilometers away that speak a completely different language. And they're all over the place, and they don't have these things written anywhere. So there's a bunch of their languages that are just spoken orally.

1:24:59And just disappear. And they will disappear. And we don't know how many languages there are. Like my friend Adam Greentree, he used to own a mining company in Australia, and he employed a lot of Aborigines. He knows a lot about the culture. And he was like, dude, it's the craziest history because a lot of it is not written down. And there's a lot of horrible tragedy and genocide attached to it. There's a cave that you can go to where they gave this mob of Aborigines poison food on purpose, like a whole crew of them. And so there's like just their bones are in this cave still to this day. He goes, dude, it's the darkest fucking thing you've ever seen in your life.

1:25:36You think about this family and their children, they're starving. And these people, these white people in Australia, were essentially prisoners that England shipped over there. Right. Just gave them poison. And just, damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. That's, yeah. Damn. And they got some crazy rock art. You ever see the glyphs of alien-looking dudes? Oh, yeah. And shit. Yeah, there's people that look like they're in rocket ships and space suits. Yeah. What information? What stories? What is their version of the Bible that we missed? Well, it's probably— Because they never wrote it down. Yeah, there's something to do with a large flood.

1:26:14That seems to be consistent. The Hopi had that. Yeah, something to do with a large flood and something to do with some sort of either dragon or serpent type bad guy. Right. Those are the two main consistent things across most cultures. Some large flood event and some snake. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's all. And I wonder what the snake in the Bible really look like. Because in the Adam and Eve story, anytime you see a picture painted of it, it's painted as a snake. But the snake's punishment was it lost its limbs. So this was a dragon. Right? Because the snake's punishment was it has to slith on the ground.

1:26:53But is that the snake's punishment forever? Is that like why God did that to the snakes, period? I think so. I think that's the whole – Right. But doesn't that just explain what a snake looks like rather than describe a dragon? Like why doesn't have limbs god took away its limbs Mmm, I see what you're saying. It's maybe it's maybe it's reversed It seems like it's yeah, maybe I just really wanted to be a dragon Yeah, it seems like how come they don't get to have legs? Yeah, how come you don't get to have wings bitch? You know because if you really think about it like there are so many different stories This is why like, you know the view like that's that famous joy behar clip where she said he believes in dragons great clip It's awesome.

1:27:36It comes out of a conversation that I had with Forrest Gallant, who's a wildlife biologist. He's like, there's a lot of depictions of these flying serpents and large serpents with wings all over the world. It's weird. It is really weird. Yeah, it's like a thing. It's really weird. And we know some dinosaurs flew. So there might have been some. Do you think there's some sort of cross? Well, here's the thing. The Congo has had a legend of some sort of a large dinosaur-like creature forever to the point where explorers have made their way into the Congo to try to find this thing. Okay. That resembles, I think it resembles a brontosaurus.

1:28:17That could fly? No, no, no. Okay. That was in the jungle. So the question is, is it possible that a creature could live for an extended period of time and then maybe in the 1100s or 1 ,000 years ago or 2 ,000 years ago, they slaughtered them all and killed them off? Maybe they have a long gestation period like an elephant. Maybe. Maybe it's possible they realized these things were a threat. They knew where they'd end up. There was a small population anywhere and they killed them off. Right. Maybe. Maybe. It's not likely. There's no bones. There's no nothing. But there's no bones of most things.

1:28:53That's the thing. Most things that die do not leave a fossil. And then they find things that they thought were extinct. Not just extinct, but extinct for millions and millions of years. One of them is the coelacanth. You know about the coelacanth? No. So the coelacanth is this crazy-looking dinosaur fish that is unchanged from, god i want to say tens of millions of years i don't know how old but when you look at it you're like yo look at that thing and then they caught one once they caught it like i don't know it was a fishing net or a fishing boat but they caught one and then they realized like oh my god these things are still alive like we thought this was a part of the fossil record damn and then they realized that there's parts of the ocean that we just haven't explored and these things and then they've caught a bunch of them since and then other fishermen have caught them but it's a very deep deep sea creature that is really ancient and they found they how old is the coelacanth like how long has it been around for man that's so i'm saying the word right that's so wild to not find one for years and then all of a sudden you just find a bunch well they found a few yeah well then now that they know they exist they're looking they kind of know what to look for and they're fishing that area and they caught them but can you show me an image of the coelacanth Oh, I think there's a YouTube channel that I think you'd really like called, I think it's called, it just goes and looks through what the earth looked like in different eras.

1:30:23So that's that Freaky Fish. Oh, yeah, I've seen this. It's armored. It's got these crazy scales on it. It looks like a throwback.

1:30:34So three, hold up, go up. relatives being the first left seas 385 okay um so they're not our direct ancestors but they're still relatives of beings that first left the seas they left the sea 385 million years ago and became four-legged terrestrial animals damn and this is like this is like a common link so what they're saying is there's creatures that left so something like that left the sea 385 million years ago and became four-legged terrestrial animals from which we sprung. And these relatives are still alive today. So how long has the coelacanth been around? It weighed 188 pounds. So they caught one of 38.

1:31:17In 1938, floating off the South African coast in the Indian Ocean, fishermen from the Irvine caught an unknown creature. It weighed 188 pounds, five feet in length, dark blue in color, and unabashedly chomped its jaws. This was not a fish, not just any fish, it had scales, fins, and limbs or more precisely, rudiments thereof. Moreover, there were seven of them, two in the back, three on the belly, and another pair on the head. They had limbs on their head? Whoa. Damn. Should we know the local population occasionally caught these creatures and didn't even come up with a name for them, gombessa, which can be translated as bitter fish.

1:31:57Love that. Just eat it first. Find out later. The residents knew that it was nearly inedible. It was consumed due to the belief that its meat helped to cope with malaria symptoms. Although it was possible to make something like sandpaper from their extremely strong and bristly scales. So when did they think look at what it looked like. That's crazy. That's wild. That looks scary. It looks like a monster. With all those weird appendages eventually made its way onto the shore. Nuts, man. That's how long ago is that like how long did they think that thing had been extinct for You'd have to look that up.

1:32:39Yeah, yeah, just put up put into perplexity the history of the coelacanth

1:32:50Okay, here we go, how old is this motherfucker? 420 million years wow rediscovered damn bro that's that's wild wow they thought it had been extinct for 66 million years and it was just living whoa dude to live that long that's pretty that's pretty crazy that's incredible yeah that's that's incredible so this thing that was alive 400 million years ago is still alive today they thought it was extinct for 68 million years is it possible that there's something else like that that's on land like less likely i think i think ocean is more likely well it's more undiscovered right so not just that it's also like more protective of environmental change right so right it's probably less dependent on all that like especially if you're a sea predator you're probably less dependent on you know all the plants growing in nuclear winter that's happening on the fucking surface right everything dies off and the ice age comes and it's fucking meteor dust everywhere right you can survive you can survive a lot of stuff like climate change you're not worried about that really probably you are but it's probably something more things would probably survive in the ocean i would imagine yeah that makes more sense like how how old are alligators and crocodiles aren't they like i'm like isn't like aren't like sharks older than trees or something older than trees yeah older than trees such a mind fuck to think about yeah Yeah, there's something that could be older than trees.

1:34:21Yeah, and they still are essentially in the same form. Just fucking swimming, eating machines. Apex predators forever. You hear about that lady off Santa Cruz that got got the other day? No, but have you read that book about the shark attacks in 1916? Oh, yeah, in New Jersey? Yeah, close to short where it's like, oh, damn. It's in a river. Yeah, it went in a freshwater river. Yeah. But they also didn't think sharks were dangerous at that time. That's so crazy. Like that was in that time. There were people like, oh, sharks, they're just like sea puppies. They'll leave you alone. That was the thought.

1:34:52Part of the reason why that stuck out to people were like, oh, sharks are like dangerous creatures. Especially bull sharks. Because bull sharks are the ones that can swim all the way up to like they made their way to Illinois. Oh, yeah. And they're more aggressive than the Great Whites, right? Oh, yeah. They're hyper aggressive. But they make their way all the way up freshwater rivers. All the way up. Into like cold environments. Fucking Illinois had bull sharks in fresh water. Just a fresh water shark. It's just, how bad luck do you, how much of a bad luck do you have to be in a river and get attacked by a shark?

1:35:26It was your time to go. You got your legs dangling out of an inner tube. Yeah. Just chopped up. And all of a sudden you feel this sharp pain and you see red in the water and you realize your leg's gone. Yeah, it takes you a second to realize your leg is gone too because it's so sharp and so, yeah. It just slices through and you don't expect it. Geez, yeah. We were not expecting a shark in the lake. And you look down, you see the white of your kneecap. Everything underneath it is just torn tissue. Fuck! Yeah, they didn't think it was dangerous at the time. Isn't that crazy? That's so wild. All the way up until 1916.

1:35:58In fact, some people thought sharks were just something that sailors made up. Whoa. Yeah, just like, oh, this giant sea creature that'll eat you? They don't know what they're talking about. This is just a sea myth. Well, it's also when you think about it, when people came to America, because there's no sharks in England. There's no sharks in Ireland. Right. They don't have a problem over there. So when they came to America, there was only, like, we're talking about this shark attack was in the early 1900s, right? Yes, 1916. So think about that. There's only, like, a couple hundred years of people even being here.

1:36:28Right. And this episode is brought to you by Netflix. I loved Peaky Blinders. It is one of my absolute favorite shows of all time. I binge-watched the entire season, all the seasons. So when I found out that Netflix was dropping a Peaky Blinders film, I was very excited. Tommy Shelby, played by the Academy Award winning Killian Murphy, of course, must face his own demons and choose whether to confront his legacy or burn it to the ground. It's gritty. It's grimy. It's got that epic gangster edge we've been hooked on for six seasons. Trust me, you won't want to miss this. Peaky Blinders, The Immortal Man is in select theaters March 6th and on Netflix March 20th.

1:37:12Rated R.

1:37:34Please drink responsibly. Hard seltzer with flavors. 8 % alcohol by volume. White Claw Seltzer Works. Chicago, Illinois. That year was like a perfect storm of like the beach became like an acceptable thing to go lounge at. Before that, it wasn't a thing. We even tried to twist it to say that it was trying to attack the dog, not the person. The person was in the way. Yeah, it hates dogs. What? It does lay out certain things like if you are swimming with a dog, you're more likely to get attacked by a shark. Interesting. And it's something like a full moon. The moon really regulates sharks' emotions.

1:38:10So more shark attacks happen on full moons. Oh, fuck. There's certain things. Apparently having the dog... They never attack the dog. Really? But the dog attracts... Something about how they swim attacks the shark. Dogs don't get killed by sharks? They will attack the person. Really? Mm-hmm. Wow. The book lays it out. There is something... There is like a... Like a coordinate... Like there are a bunch of different factors that sort of apply to that. Whoa. Mm-hmm. I don't think there's anything alive right now that is, you know, dinosaur-like. But I wonder how long they stuck around for. How long some of them stayed.

1:38:49Just the last vegetables. If crocodiles and alligators didn't exist, like let's just imagine crocodiles didn't exist. The big ones, the Nile crocodiles. Let's imagine no one thought there was a crocodile. It's nonsense. and then one day someone got a video of one in the Congo, you'd be like, no, dinosaurs are real. Right. That's a dinosaur. That is a straight-up dinosaur. Yeah, it's a giant lizard. That is technically what's left. This dude, Josh Bomar, he's a bow hunter, and he just killed a world-record crocodile, and I think it was in Tanzania. Actually, I think he might have did it like two years ago.

1:39:26This thing is so big. I think it's like 17 feet long, and it's probably over 100 years old. They killed it with a bow. Look at the size of that thing. Good God. Now, imagine if that thing didn't exist, if no one thought that that thing existed. And then you saw that. And then you saw that. You'd be like, yeah, that's a monster that I saw. Look at the size of that thing, man. Like if nobody went to Tanzania ever, if it was just a place that no one went to, And then people went there and they saw that. They're like, oh my God, dinosaurs are still alive. Because that's a fucking dinosaur. Period.

1:40:04Full stop. Yeah, you'd be absolutely afraid of that. You can call it a crocodile, whatever. It's a species of dinosaurs that made it. It's still here. When did crocodiles first evolve? 83 to 95 million years ago, late Cretaceous. Younger than the coelacanth. Yeah, crazy. Up to 250 million years ago. Still younger than the coelacanth. By 100 million years. Well, it's probably the ancestor that came to shore and eating shit right right yeah If everything came out of the ocean allegedly Oh, okay, there is something so there's something that I do it's like a gratefulness thing that I do every year because it's like This is like a big moment for me in my career.

1:40:40I just released the special I'm walking away from the I'm like not working social media at the club anymore I'm like making steps out. So this is a YouTube video that I watch Every every time something like sort of big happens to me or like I'm a crossroads and it's it's have you ever seen this? Mr. Rogers Emmy acceptance speech have you seen this no okay can we pull that up Jamie and It's like a three-minute video, but like Genuinely cuz I'm cuz I'm gonna do it too. I want you to do what he says okay. Yeah, it's just a quick little thing okay Yeah, and I'm all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah

1:41:29For giving generation upon generation of children confidence in themselves, for being their friend, for telling them again and again and again that they are special and that they have worth. It is my honor on behalf of everyone here and on behalf of the millions of children whose mornings you have brightened with your kindness to present you with this Lifetime Achievement Award.

1:42:12Oh, it's a beautiful night in this neighborhood.

1:42:18So many people have helped me to come to this night. Some of you are here, some are far away, some are even in heaven. All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are? those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life. Ten seconds of silence. I'll watch the time.

1:43:12Whomever you've been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they've made. You know, they're the kind of people television does well to offer our world. Special thanks to my family and friends and to my coworkers in public broadcasting, family communications, and this academy for encouraging me, allowing me all these years to be your neighbor. May God be with you. Thank you very much. He seemed like the real deal. Yeah. I'm glad nothing ever came out about him. Yeah, for real, right? He wasn't like Jimmy Savile. I'm happy he was the real deal. It really does seem like he is.

1:44:03Who'd you think about? Oh, do I want to say it publicly? Yeah, if you don't have to. Oh, you know, family. Personal people, you know. But, you know, you and I in particular are very fortunate. We have a lot of people that help us be who we are. Yes. You know, and that is like the one thing that I think we really highlight at the club is that we really are all happy. We really are all lucky. And we really enjoy our time together. Yeah. And we feed off of each other. I'm so happy, too. like the the way this i would say the scene is like incredibly incredibly supportive of each other in a way that like it's nice i guess in this sort of new system that we live in too where like you can just make it on your own like you don't need like i'm not auditioning for a spot that like fuzzy's auditioning for because we're both brown right you know what i mean the old day yeah there's no there's no reason there's no reason for me to be like damn i hope he doesn't get this right you know there's like it's a system of like oh dude we can all just create and then help each other.

1:45:07Yes. Like piggyback off each other. And like that's, it's like such a refreshing experience to have. It really is the rising tide lifts all boats and that's how it should be. And it happens everywhere too because like, you know, obviously you're at the mothership and you see how hard the door guys there crush. But like I'll go to Sunset and Sunset has some fucking killers as door guys now. Especially because like they came up in this experience where Sunset, you know, famously the ceilings are high and like the room can be cavernous, can feel cavernous when it's like tight. And so they come up in a harsher, like the mothership, the rooms are set up for comedy.

1:45:43Sunset, it never happened that way. The guy died before he could make it what he wanted to make it. And Redman came in and just sort of saved it so he can open at the very least. So it's like they come up in these harsh situations and like there's this one, there's this one kid at Sunset, his name is, well kid is very funny to say, he's the grown man, but Mumford Davis, He closes every single death squad, which is like 18 hours long. So he closes every single one, goes up in front of a tired beat audience, and now he's just an absolute monster. Running with ankle weights on. Yeah. I mean, he's running with the biggest ankle weights on to go at the end of that in that room.

1:46:23They're tired. They've been there forever. But you think about it. That's how Kinnison came up. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That was the Kinnison spot, was the last spot at the OR. Right. And think about his style. That's screaming, yelling in your face. That's designed to shock an audience back to life. Right. Just try to keep it going. That's Don Barris. That's Brian Holtzman. Those guys that develop that act, they could just jolt you out of your complacency. It's kind of by necessity. Right. How to just keep someone's attention. Yes. Like bringing it back is just so impressive. That's what I miss about the comedy stores.

1:47:03I left before I got past, so I never got those like late night OR spots. Those one in the morning, six people just survived. I mean, some of my best sets, favorite sets I've seen people have are in those spots. They're like, damn, you really made this work. Well, sometimes like reality shines through. Like they have a real moment on stage where the comedy is just like people like, oh shit. I remember Laura Bites had a set one time, and I even posted it. Me and Burt Kreischer sat in the back of the room, and she crushed so hard. There was only like 25 people in the room. And by the time she was offstage, there was 50 people in the room because people were coming in from other places to come and watch her set.

1:47:42Yeah, when you hear that noise, you're like, okay, what's going on here? Exactly. She was just on fire. She was killing. Yeah, those spots are nice because it's like, you know, your jokes, you have to work your jokes to get to a certain point where like, my jokes are funny enough to showcase and work at the club. And now that I'm at this level, I got the jokes. Now can I be funny? Right. You know, beyond like what my written, can I be just funny? Me as a person. Yeah. You can kind of really hone that in those sort of late night tough rooms. Yeah, you got to do those. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why, you know, the store at the end of the day, even through hard and like good times and tough times at the store, that's the reason why they always create monsters.

1:48:21Yeah. The store creates monsters. And Mitzi knew what she was doing. You know, she had a method to her madness. And she tweaked it and got it to the perfect form. We essentially used a similar form here. Yeah, it's kind of like the method to make comedy happen. It's like just people in these tough spots over and over again. Can you follow monsters? Right. Can you follow monsters? The best part about being at the ship is I've had to follow Theo and Shane and be like, damn, I just got to do this. And then you have to follow the emerging stars too because then they have a whole separate energy to them.

1:49:02I remember following both Cam and James McCann after they both started popping and being like, whoa. Just watching the energy around them shift. Yeah. Yeah. He lost McCann to Australia. I know. He'll be back. He's got to be back. He'll be back. I can't believe he had to go back. So funny though. He's the best. He's one of my favorite guys out there. because he's got such a unique, like, it's his perspective. It's like you don't expect it. It's coming out of him. If you think the way he does, you get it. Yeah. It's really smart, really funny. High energy, too. Mm-hmm. Because usually the hyper-intelligent go low energy.

1:49:42It's very rare that a hyper-intelligent person, who's intelligent on stage on purpose like that, like he is, goes high energy. Right. That's what makes him unique to me, too. It's because usually when comics are being smart on stage, and I'll do this too, they go soft. They go, look at me think. Yeah. McCann's like, I have the energy of I'm in a bar yelling at you, but it's about Kyrgyzstan. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're lucky, dude. Yeah. The scene is thriving. Yeah. Yeah, there's so many places to go. That's why I did mine at Black Rabbit. Just a small little black box room that's been like, I've had sets there and it's like 10 people and they're amazing.

1:50:30Wow. Yeah, yeah. They're just there for comedy. A lot of them are like, they tend to be like these sort of just out of college kids who can't really afford to go to like any of the clubs. They just have money for the first time. We're like, oh, we can go to this little spot. Like$10 tickets. Just get introduced to comedy. It's a bit of a younger audience there. Well, there's just, how many spots are just on our street? On our street? I mean, like, there's... Within our street. Like, within close. That you can walk to? Count Cap City, because it's like one block over. Not Cap City, I'm sorry. Vulcan.

1:51:03No. And Sunset. Creek. Creek in the Cave. Creek in the Cave is one over. In that area, you have Vulcan, Sunset, Creek, Velveeta, and then Bulls. These are bars that run comedy at least three to four times a week. is Bulls. Oh, fuck. I'm forgetting one of the places. I'm blanking on it now. But Bulls, Black Rabbit. If you want to count Roscoe's in East Austin, they're a little bit down the road, but they're still kind of in the downtown area. So it's nine right there. Narbar, that's the one I was thinking about. That's ten. Shakespeare's runs it a bunch, and Maggie Mae's runs it, I think, three times a week.

1:51:43So there's at least 12 pretty much dedicated comedy rooms, and that's not including Mike's. that's crazy that's not including mics just in the area when you say mics for people who don't know you mean open mic yeah just open mic you're talking about booked clubs of professional comedians yeah these are shows with people and like some of them are rough bar shows but they are shows and they're booked wow yeah and there's it's you can get on you can there's so many ways to come up oh you can walk you can walk i've i've had nights where i've had five sets and none of them or at the mothership wow i'm just you're just out and about yeah it is it is so and it's just different people getting up in different places it's each each of the each different place has their own ecosystem of comics who you know because you you go you go where it gives you what gives you time right that's where you always that's the right way to go no matter what yeah just whatever is feeding you go that's where you go so there's different ecosystems in each places and it's it's really it's really fun and you just get to see people like man just figure it out and it's and it's fun to watch and they'll figure it out on the podcast and they'll figure it out on the comedy end and it'll all sort of works together it's got to be extra dope for you too because you were an early settler man i got i feel like i got to the gold rush in 48 i feel like because because when When I got here, there was only three.

1:53:06It was me, Hans, Kim, and Derek, and Dylan. Dylan was eight years in. But those were the only four of us that were, like, not famous headliners that weren't new comics, basically. Right. So we got to just do so many shows because there was no middle class. It was all—it was like California. It was all upper class and all, like, lower class. It was very—now it's robust. Now there's just a bunch of killers that are like just moving here all the time. There's this guy, Nick Murphy, moved from Atlanta. What year did you move here? 2021. Oh, okay. I moved here early. I got on a Zoom. I got on a with Dylan Sullivan.

1:53:46I used to play this. I used to play. We used to play Game Night from the pandemic online with our friends because we weren't allowed out. Right. And so he pulled me aside one day on Discord and was like, you got to move here. And he made the pitch. Wow. And then I was like, I was pretty much there. and then Derek moved here and he was like, you gotta. And this was just when we were doing shows out of the Vulcan. This is just shows out of the Vulcan. This was just, but it was indoor shows, man. And so I moved here and then I was like, because the way I looked at it was like, look, either I'm going to, like LA's going to reopen and I'll be working at the comedy store again and we'll have at least gotten up in that time and gotten paid to go up.

1:54:23Because they paid for every spot here. Right. If you're booked. So it's like, at least got paid. And so I was like, and then I'll go back to LA. A little glitch but so when you came here it was just like look I'll get some spots I'll get paid and if the comedy store reopens I'll go back. Yeah I'll go back and or the club was still two years away from opening but it's like I'll stick it out to the club and see what happens. We were just starting to talk about club back then. Right yeah you had put it on the universe and that was enough for me to be like I think he's gonna get that done. And so I took a chance and it ended up working.

1:54:56And then I ended up being one of the first people like passed through there, which ended up a huge, huge blessing. Because now there's so many killers that it's like hard to get in the mother shit. Yeah. There's so many like people who have moved. It's like it's I almost tell people like it's a major city in that way in the sense of like if you can get good where you are first and then move to Austin. That might be better now than a blind move to Austin. Right as an opener. Yeah as a beginner as a beginner. Yeah, it's hard as a beginner. Yeah, it's like LA was for a while Oh LA LA is super tough I imagine New York is super tough as well The store was really tough if you wanted to go from open mic to actual spots like bro You got to do spot somewhere else, right?

1:55:38You really should be better You're better off coming there with potential like you've already gotten a few years under your belt then like trying to figure it out And there's because the LA mics are especially brutal thing is man if you guys didn't come it wouldn't have worked like that was the thing it's like the people that really are responsible for the movement the the crazy new scene here are the ones who came before the club was open brian simpson tom segura segura was here early man right i told him about it he's like i'm fucking moving and then bam i was like whoa and when tom moved i was like that's a big deal you know because tom was already doing arenas yeah it required a certain amount of people to buy in.

1:56:18Yeah. And and that I you know I'm very because of that I'm very pro Austin of course like man if you buy in look what can happen like yeah. There's just stuff you can do. No one should not be pro Austin. It's funny because Lewis and Tony were going back and forth and arguing like Lewis shits on the Austin scene. Right. This New York versus Austin thing is the stupidest fucking thing of all time. It's like they should both be awesome. Who cares. Yeah it's unnecessary. It's unnecessary like infight. It's like catty girl fighting. It's like why we both clearly can exist in a space where we can also help each other.

1:56:51The New York guys are always here, and I feel like we're always there. But the point is, Tony and Louis were going back and forth, and Louis said, well, L.A. isn't even in consideration anymore as to what's the best place for comedy in the country. And Tony goes, agreed. And why do you think that is? What do you think happened? Where'd those people go? And Louis was like, oh, shit. But, you know, I will say this because I was just in L.A. I like where the L.A. scene's at. It's rebuilding stronger. Of course it is. Yeah, yeah. It's the store. It's L.A. It's Hollywood. It goes through dips. It's done it before.

1:57:30When I got there, it was a low. When I came in 94, the OR was half empty. Main room was never full. And then there was no big talent there. It's always like that. It comes, it goes. New people come up. It's legendary. It's got a vibe to it. It creates comedy just by existing. Yeah, it's like, it's still, every time I'm there, I'm like, man, this is the fucking place. It's the fucking place, man. That's been a place since 1970-something. I mean, that place is crazy. Yeah. You could do it. The building is alive in that place. That's crazy. 100%. Yeah, you feel it. It's like. It's soaked with the memories of Kinnison and Hicks and Pryor.

1:58:05Here's what's crazy. You know the bucket seats in the back? Yeah. If you go during the day, they might have repainted the wall. So this is when I worked there. But when you go during the day, because I'd get there early and like right or whatever, and you can look where the bucket seats are, the outline of all the heads, because of all the oil of the people leaning back, was just there. So you were just there, and it's just the energy of all these great comics just in the room with you. Ah. Yeah. It was an interesting place to like be during the day, because you could sort of feel it. The store is a very special place.

1:58:37Very special place. You're never going to take away from that. But the thing is, it's like it should be and it will be even better than it used to be, I'm sure. But the point is, it's like denying that Austin is an amazing scene is just stupid. Yes. It's just stupid. And also, don't you want another great scene? Do you want a limited amount of options for comedians? Don't you want more comics and more comedy? Right. And more places for you to end up performing? Shut up. Like, yeah, now you can go to Austin and spend a couple weeks there and get a lot of time and learn how to talk to people here.

1:59:10There's so many bitches in this world. So many bitches. And those bitches never get anything done. They just sit and bitch. And this and that and that and this and that and this. Nothing ever gets done. Yeah, yeah. They never progress. Yeah, man. Just video essays. I watch all the video essays. That's so funny. Why would you watch those? It's just so funny to me. Because they all start. They all start. the whole concept that Austin is ruined comedy is very funny to me because there's so many comics that are blowing up outside everywhere all the time. It's just silly. It's like my friend said. It's a walled garden.

1:59:46That's what it is. It seems like the people are having too much fun. And if you're not there and if you don't have aspirations to be there, you feel bad about it. When I lived in Boston, the store was like mecca. People would talk about it. It was like you had to make the pilgrimage to the comedy store. It was one of the first things I did when I came to L.A. Oh, no, it's a big deal. The first time you go there I remember looking at it being just the feeling in my heart the first time I went there I hadn't even moved there yet. I went there just to watch I told them I was a comedian from New York.

2:00:12I'm like can I go and watch a set? I'm like yeah, sure They let me come in and I sat in the back and watched and it was like Boat acts was terrible. It was really bad Really a bunch of cruise ship acts like a bunch of guys with the same act from the 1970s They had never you know those dudes that like you'll see them at the store occasionally now that have an act from the 80s Well these dudes it was like a decade earlier. Yeah when I worked at La Jolla There was one guy that they booked that they had like some some deal with Mitzi that he got to perform once a year at the La Jolla and man you can just tell me it's been You haven't changed this act since the 70s.

2:00:44Yeah, they just Never evolved and you know, and they weren't getting spots from Kinison was around the place was packed and then Kinison left and then he had a billboard. He put a billboard right in front of the comedy store of his new album that was coming out. Why did he leave the store? Oh, I don't know. He probably did something stupid. I think he definitely fired off a gun because remember he shot the... The bullet hole is still there. I heard they fixed the sign though. They fixed the plastic. Yeah, they might have. I think the plastic was falling apart but they kept the bullet hole because the bullet hole is still there.

2:01:19Okay. Yeah, I went and looked. I made sure. Pretty crazy. The Kinison bullet hole is like part of the thing there. But the cracked glass was also part of the thing. Yeah, but I think eventually it just fell apart. It's been like 40 years since that happened. I mean, that might have been what got him banned. Not sure. But then he was banned. And then when I came, it was 94, so he was already dead. He was dead and Hicks was dead. So it was weird. Okay. And so that's what the lull was from? They were just kind of missing that top level guy? There was a lull. And guys would occasionally drop in to work out.

2:01:52but they didn't put their name on the marquee. No one ever knew they were going to be there. Chris Rock would come in and work out. Damon would come in and work out. But the big comics were there. Don Marrero would stop in. There was guys that would stop in. But then it was mostly us younger guys. Holtzman was a big part back then. I can't imagine Holtzman as a young guy. I mean, me and him, we're only a few years different. It feels like he's just looked like that since he was a kid. He was a throwback. He looked like he was from the 1950s when I met him in 94. Yeah. Like, slick back, dark hair.

2:02:23Right. Always the best. Always a nice guy. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's the sweetest guy in the world. There's something about guys who are like that on stage are always super sweet offstage. Because they, like, truly get all the venom out. It's like William Montgomery. If you watch William Montgomery on stage, he's a raving lunatic. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that picture. Oh, wow. Look at Holtzman to the right with a suit on. Oh, my God. Nepali. Who's next to you? Look at that. Freddie Soto. That's Freddie Soto. Damn. Boy, that was probably like 96. Wow. Crazy. Yeah, Brian does look the exact same. He looks the exact same.

2:03:01He had jet black hair and he would... You know what he kind of looks like? That's his headshot. There's this guy on Instagram where his whole thing is he pretends to be a greaser. Oh, really? Yeah, but unironically. And that's kind of what he looks like. But it's really funny because all his comments are just like, yo, show us that hog. Like that's become the He does like greaser shit And all the comics are like but how come where's the hog reveal Why is hog It's become like He's so unironically trying to be a greaser That the comments came up with their own Sort of culture around him So it's comedy accidentally Yeah the kind of mocking They're all kind of making fun of him But he's genuinely trying to portray this guy This greaser guy It's like Mike the greaser or something like that It's so funny Well, Holtzman was just, I thought he was going to blow up, man.

2:03:54I really did. I was like, oh, this guy's going to be fucking huge. This guy's going to be gigantic. There was a few guys back then that I was like, that guy's going to be big. Did you ever see Mike Ricca? No. The early 90s, Mike Ricca was great, man. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened with him. I don't even know if he does comedy anymore. Yeah, it's so easy. People fall off all the time. Because it is brutal. The game is brutal. It can be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but you have to have something brutal outside of the game to keep you centered. You should do something else that's also difficult.

2:04:29For me, it's obviously working out. That's a big part of what keeps me sane. I think it's important for mental health. The people that are the most mentally unhealthy and unstable that I know all have no control of their body. None of them exercise. They don't eat well. They eat terrible food. They take medications, and they're all fucked up in the head. and then little things can send them off a deep end. Once a person makes a mean tweet about them and a couple people pile on, they want to jump off a building. Right. You know, there's a bunch of those people out there. And I think like with the pressures of this job, you have to, for your own sanity, you have to find some sort of an outlet.

2:05:06Yeah. Find some sort of a thing. Or like take a walk. That too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll help, but it should be something that's a little bit that you exert yourself. Well, that's like, I was like, That's a good place to start if you're one of these people that don't. Just a simple walk can really get the ball rolling. Don't jump right into CrossFit. Yeah. From nothing couch to CrossFit. Yeah, just be outside and smell the air. Does your phone send you the screen time updates? What do you mean? So my phone will send me a weekly, this is how much you spend on your phone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

2:05:39For me, it's like, damn, this is like a full-time job that I'm spending on my phone. It's a lot. It's disgusting. And I have to just remind myself, like, oh, the reason I feel bad is because I'm on this. 100%. I'm on this, and I'm consuming a fake reality that, like, I think one of the most dangerous things that the phone, like, the online existence does is it calls, like, people, like, call their fans and stuff a community. And it's not really a community. Your community has to be people you see in person. It can't be this online, possibly fake fan club, basically. Well, it certainly can't be a large percentage of your interactions with people.

2:06:18That's nuts. But, I mean, there is some sort of a community that you kind of cultivate by interacting with people on social media. It's just at what price? Right. And then how much are you doom scrolling other than interacting with people and having like semi-positive experiences communicating with you, like sharing ideas? How much of it is just doom scrolling? Right. For me, it was a lot. And so I backed off it heavy. So I still spend a lot of time on YouTube though. My distraction time is almost all YouTube Mmm. No my I'm a doom-scroller. Yeah, because you get caught you see one thing and you're like It's so easy to just do that it is but I don't want that because it makes me feel weird But YouTube doesn't make me feel weird So if I watch some really cool video on ancient history or something, it's I never feel bad at all Oh, that was cool.

2:07:08Yeah, I don't I don't don't come out of it with any negative feeling I just come out of it like, oh, that's interesting. I learned something. YouTube is like the modern television now. Oh, it's fucking phenomenal. That's the one. Phenomenal. You can just find some. There's people making high quality things. Sometimes I'll get caught up in things that I don't even care about. Yeah. Like I'm not like a huge horror movie fan. I like movies. But I found this one page called Nightmare Movies. And he just explains his favorite horror movies. And he has a great voice. And I've watched like all of his videos.

2:07:38Zero interest in watching any of the movies. I'm interested in watching him react to the movies. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's really dope on YouTube also is these little short horror movies that people make on their own. Like, real super low budget, but like really interesting ideas. There's a ton of them, man. Right. Some of them are fucking great. They're really cool. They're like eight minutes long. They're two minutes long and they can just get you. Yeah. There's so much entertainment. I like watching people make furniture for some reason. Yeah. I really do. I love watching people make like live edge tables and shit and I don't know yeah It's just it's just like oh this tickles me.

2:08:14I like watching people cook I like a watch a lot of cooking well, it's it's so it's so like you can Everyone's entertainment so like in their own lane that you can come across a video be like 8 million views And you've never even seen it right like true virality is tough Like in the future are there gonna be even like a list celebrities like that? What do you mean? Or like it's going to be – there's going to be less and less like A – like what would you describe as like an A-list celebrity, right? Sure, right. Because everyone has their own sort of lane. Well, there's more celebrities now than there ever have been before.

2:08:45For sure. There's more – let's just say famous people. Right. There's more people that are known than ever before because of social media. Yes. Like think about all the streamers and YouTubers and podcasters. Oh, yeah. Austin has a huge streaming scene. Yeah. Yeah, it's insane. So there's that. So that muddies the water – because like you go back to like – let's go back to like – to like 1960 when Paul Newman was a superstar making movies. How many fucking Paul Newmans were there? Right. Yeah. Were there 10? Yeah. On Earth? Right. If you wanted to make a big movie, you got Marlon Brando, Paul Newman, you know, you have a few people.

2:09:17Like a star on Sidney Sweeney's like level now. Right. Back then, that would be a name to sell movies. Mm-hmm. Now, like there's movies that she's in that people don't watch. Right. And that's like what like an A-list celebrity is now. It's like there's so much stuff you're competing with. There's so much content, just period. I'm always watching a new show. There's always a new show, and they're fucking great. Feeding the fam isn't easy, but we got you with Denny's Slam and Meal Deals starting at$5.99. Full meals for everyone, like a Grand Slam burrito for Grandpa and a Super Slam for Super Mom.

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2:10:25Great. There's so many great shows. Yeah, or not even just random Instagram accounts. Dude, I watched this guy's Sandwiches of History. All he does is he finds a sandwich book from, like, some of them from, like, the early 1900s and just makes a sandwich in them. Is any of them good? Some of them are amazing and some of them suck ass. Some of them are, like, Depression era. You know what I mean? It's like bread and sawdust or whatever, you know? But some of them are like, damn, that's, like, a good sandwich. And I just watch this guy eat sandwiches and be like, this is a great use of my time. Making an orange peel sandwich from 1921 here.

2:11:011921. So you take orange peels, you mix it up with mayonnaise, and you spread it on bread. Let's see his face. He always goes, I'll give this sandwich a go. He has like a catchphrase. I'm all about it. Hmm. Okay. It doesn't look like he likes it. It's a terrible idea. That's a terrible idea. Orange peel sandwich, the fuck out of here. Well, that's what people ate. Yeah, you're starving. You're starving, you eat an orange peel sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The sandwich was made by a guy who was in a hurry, right? Wasn't that the idea? He just threw some fucking meat in some bread to eat it all together?

2:11:35Yeah, I think so. And then the people were like, wow. Wasn't his name sandwich or something? He was like the Earl of Sandwich. I think it was a sandwich. Something like that? Yeah. As I'm saying that, is that real, though? Is that just like goofy? But didn't we – we definitely searched this before. Isn't there an Earl of Sandwich? Is that like a – No, there 100 % is, but it's also like a store, and I'm just like – I'm like, is that even – maybe just like a silly myth. I'll tell you what. If the sandwich didn't originate with the Earl of Sandwich, what a mighty coincidence that is. What a real deal.

2:12:04If there is an Earl of Sandwich, what is the origins of the term sandwich? I'm stuck looking at the Earl of Sandwich. Okay, so the Earl of Sandwich exists. But just put into perplexity, what are the origins of the sandwich? I'm pretty sure it was like a military guy. Yes. And he was like, fuck it, just give me the bread and the meat, I'll put it together. And he cut the bread open, stuffed it in there. Because I think they used to just eat bread and eat meat and eat bread. They just ate bread by itself. They were too stupid to combine them. Yeah, very autistically. Keep the food separate. 18th century England, named after John Montagu.

2:12:38The fourth Earl of Sandwich. Aha. Someone is the Earl of Sandwich. During a prolonged card game in 1762. Oh, that's right. He was gambling. That's right. Now I remember. Oh, well, now that gambling is so fucking massive now, what cool food is going to come out of that? That's hard to hear. All the fast food Uber Eats will deliver it right to your table. Allowing him to eat without interrupting play. The practice creation popularized the handheld meal among England's elite. There it is. Oh, that's so funny. It used to be an elite food. Oh, so it looks like the Romans had it before. It says similar concepts predated Montague, such as the Roman Ophela, which involved meat or cheese between bread slices.

2:13:25That's a sandwich. Right. They just didn't call it that. Huh. Okay. They finally had a name that stuck. Is there a current Earl of Sandwich? I bet there is. Yeah. Imagine if he's gluten sensitive. That's what I was digging through was this, but I didn't get any good information from it. Well, now we know. You want to talk about places to eat, Austin has an amazing fucking selection of places to eat. During the day, the night leaves a little. Yeah, late night. There needs to be a late night diner out here. Well, we were talking about that last night. One of the things I really miss about L.A. is the Jewish delis.

2:14:04Like Cantor's. Yes. We used to go there after the club. We'd leave and we'd go to Cantor's and I would get a pastrami Reuben with steak fries. Oh, my God. Have you ever had a pastrami Reuben from Cantor's? Yeah. Good Lord. That's what you get at Cantor's. Good Lord. It's good. Yeah. I mean, it might be the best pastrami Reuben on earth. It's right up there with Katz Deli in New York City, which is maybe the king. Oh, I've never been there. Oh Lord Katz Deli in New York City is fucking legendary first of all you have to you get a ticket when you get there I don't even know if they accept credit cards.

2:14:36You might have to pay in cash Oh, I like you get a ticket when you get there and you can't lose your ticket if you lose your ticket You got to pay like 50 bucks because you take that ticket and on that ticket They write all the things you get so you go up to the counter and they're like we're gonna get you and these guys that have been fucking chopping meat since the 20s, you know, and they'll slice you off a couple of pieces of brisket, slice you off a couple of pieces of pastrami, and you get to eat it while you're there, while you're waiting for your sandwich to be made. And, you know, you tell him what you want, and he pulls the fucking pastrami out and starts slicing it up in front of you.

2:15:07Steam's coming off of it. He's piling it on that rye bread. You're like, you can't wait. And then he gives you a couple pickles in there. And then you're like, what else do you want? And then you move down the line. Like, I get an order of fries. You get an order of fries. I want a root beer. and then you get to the end and they put it all on your ticket. And then when you leave after you've eaten, then you bring the ticket up to the counter. Ah, okay. So it's food plus accountability. You have to keep track of stuff. It's a weird old system, so nobody pays attention. So everyone loses their fucking ticket if you're from out of town, if you've never been there before.

2:15:41You're like, what? The ticket? What? What happened? How much is it? It's a way to scam the tourists a little bit. It's like a tourist fee, not a scam. Well, I just think it's how they used to account back then. They just never changed it. It's kind of the charm of the place. It's got this weird thing. Show me some Cantor sandwiches, son. Show me some of that. When I was a door guy, we were big swingers, guys. That was the... Show me cats. That was the diner we went to. Swingers was great. That was a great diner. That was a great diner. Really good food. And that was open pretty late, too. Look at that, son.

2:16:15Are you fucking kidding me? Look at that. That pastrami with Swiss cheese. Oh, Lord. That's so good. And they piled it up high, and they've been doing it that way since the fucking 1800s. How old is Cantor's? 1888. 1888? Jeez. 1888. Look how good that looks. Oh! You can see how she's pulling it like that. The flavors. Oh! Yeah, see, this is what Austin is definitely missing. They need something late night. Something that we can all get where you can go and hang out and like. Now, I had heard that someone was opening a Cat's Deli in Austin. Right? But I don't think it's Cat's Cat's Deli from New York City.

2:16:57No, it's just called Cat's Deli. Cat's never closes. Oh, coming soon. Hold on. Go back. Coming soon on 6th Street. How far is that from us? Well, we're on 6th. It's on West 6th. It's on West 6th. So it's like near. It's taking over our current spot. Yeah. What's that? It's taking over us. I think there's a bar there or something now. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's kind of near where Jay Carver's is. Opening in the same location as the OG Cats is operated for 32 years. So it's way down by Jay Carver's. Yeah, but this is. But that's a five-minute drive. Yeah, you can walk there. We do that all the time. Cats never closes.

2:17:31But that was August 18th. Has there been any news since? Is it open? Yeah. No, no, no. It's going to take a year. Oh, it's going to take a year. Oh, they're building it out? Yeah. Whoa. There's a few places like that that got the name out and it's going to be open in a year and a half. So was there an original Katz's Never Closes? That's the one. That's where it was. It closed in 2011. So they lied. No. Fucking closed. Yeah. Katz sometimes closes for 15 years. By the way, I would have never allowed them to use a K for closes. Like, guys, we're not kooky. Stop. Yeah, you're not Krispy Kreme. Yeah, why are you doing that?

2:18:08Right. So expected in 2026, maybe 2027. Well, hopefully, yeah. Because that's the big hole right now in the Austin game. Look at it, though. This is it. New York-style deli menu with sandwiches like Rubens, day-long breakfast dishes like waffle egg sandwiches and blintzes, entrees including pork roasts and meatloaves. Oh, my God, it sounds amazing. Open 24-7. All right. That'll be it for us. That'll be it. Finally. Finally. Because that was the big hole. Outside of that, Austin has amazing food. We should help them. But yeah, after 10 p.m., it gets rough pickings around here. Yeah, let's blow them up when they open up.

2:18:46A lot of halal carts, which I wouldn't expect in Austin. That's such a funny... Going through there, I wouldn't be like, oh, halal carts would be a good way I get late night food. Entrepreneurs. Yeah. Dude's recognizing the need. Yeah, there's the only things you can get. Oh, there's Golden Tiger. That's great. They're open pretty late, right? They're open until like 1.30. Yeah. That's pretty late. That's pretty late. That's pretty good. The comic life, you're like out at two. I know. Looking for food at two. Yeah, at two. And you're like, well, thank God the Mexican hot dog carts people are here.

2:19:17Right. Yeah, that happened recently. They started showing up. Yeah, there's always smart people to capitalize. Because there's always, I mean, there's just so many people walking around drunk. Right, just looking for stuff. Especially 6th Street. You got a taco truck, you can kill it. Oh, yeah. On 6th Street. Oh, at two in the morning, all the fucking zombies. And there's that road when you go up to 7th where when you're headed towards Creek, there's a whole parking lot that's got a bunch of food trucks up in there. There's a place, my favorite place is called Diddy Dog. They got bulgogi fries.

2:19:48Bulgogi fries. Bulgogi fries. Isn't there a really good cheeseburger place over there too? Oh, yeah. There's the Yala Burgers. They're pretty good. But for me, downtown, if I'm eating downtown, I'm eating the bulgogi fries. That good, huh? Oh, yeah. There's a lot so you can't I can't get them very often now that I'm older that I'm like oh yeah to take care of myself I was on that bulgogi fried diet son. It's kind of insane how many great restaurants are here. Mm-hmm It's like oh, yeah, the numbers nuts. Yeah, just and good casual eating places too It's like you can really everyone who moves I call it When you move to Austin there's the freshman 15 Just from eating here just from eating here you just get it And then after you live here for like five years, I think you just get so tired of brisket that you can't look at it again for a while.

2:20:36I eat so much brisket that I only go now when out-of-town people are here. That's funny. I could eat it 24 days out of a month. I'll take six off. Oh, no. I love it. Sometimes the Terry Blacks will come to the green room and I'll be like, I can't look at this right now. Oh, no. This is like day three in a row of Terry Blacks. Not to complain, but it is funny. Terry Blacks has those beef ribs, dog. Those beef ribs are insane. I do describe it. You've got to take every tourist. It's like the Disneyland of Austin. Yeah. It's a line that moves quickly. You can see how everything's made. And it's a fucking huge place.

2:21:09I think they're like the highest volume restaurant in the country. Really? Yeah. I think in terms of like brisket and barbecue and stuff, I think they were telling me that. I forget what the exact statistic they told me, but it was like the volume of food that they serve there is like as high as anywhere in the country. That makes sense. It's always, there's always a line there. Giant line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they always move quickly, so they're always getting people, like, in and out. Well, you can only eat so much. Like, when you sit down and eat barbecue, you ain't sitting there for three hours, bitch.

2:21:38No. You can't. No. And you also always get more than you can eat. Yeah. Yeah, you're always like, yeah, because it looks so good up there. And then, like, the second you have, like, their cornbread, you're so full. Right. What the fuck is that? Especially those beef ribs, man. They're so rich. You can only eat, like, so much of it before you're like, oh. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Not before a show. That's always a mistake that people make. Bro, last time we had a whole group of us, I made the mistake of sitting next to Metzger, and I was in the corner. They just fucking looming over me with conspiracy theories.

2:22:08I'm like, Kurt, you got to stop. Try and enjoy these ribs. You got to stop. I don't know if it's just the Terry Blacks in Austin, because I know they have one in Dallas, I think, too. But it says 18 % of America's brisket is served by them. 18 % of America's? That's so much brisket. that's crazy Metzger's a fun one in the green room he said my favorite is when he'll be like I thought this was common knowledge you don't know yeah you don't know there was something he said in the green room the other day about like Morgan Freeman some deep conspiracy about Morgan Freeman and we're like what the fuck are you talking about I thought this was common knowledge no one knows anything about what you're talking about is it the Morgan Freeman dated his granddaughter step granddaughter yeah had a dated her and then the The boyfriend went crazy and killed her.

2:22:59And he was like, I thought that was common knowledge. It's like, what do you mean? Is that true? The boyfriend went crazy and killed her? That's what he said. I looked at it afterwards and I was like, I don't know where. Kurt gets his news plugged in straight from the Matrix, I think. I don't even know where he finds his stuff. Well, he's on that Jimmy Dore show. And Jimmy Dore show, the entire show, is about exposing corruption and conspiracies. It's a lot. Yeah. You live in that world all the time. Then everything becomes a conspiracy and everything. It doesn't leave a lot of room for sunshine.

2:23:29Also, here's the thing. There's enough conspiracy. Like we talked about the Franklin scandal. There's enough conspiracies that are absolutely real and provable that if you go into it, you will kind of go crazy. Right. I mean, this is what kind of happened to Alex Jones. This is what happens to a lot of people that get involved in conspiracies. It's like you find out how many of them are true and you start losing your fucking mind. You're like, what is real? Like what really controls the world? what fucking lizard people are really at the center of this whole thing right yeah this is kind of better to just stay away at a certain point just be like yeah we should probably pay attention a little bit but some people must have an obligation to do it because if it doesn't get exposed then it's going to continue and the only way that you can kind of put a stop to this stuff is people have to get busted and they have to be held accountable the public has to get outraged so someone has to be making these videos but it doesn't have to be you right yeah like for your own personal mental health it's just not good to absorb all of the evil of the world yeah there's no reason to take that on there's no reason just just find happiness in your lane yeah yeah that's that i feel like that's pretty easy to do yeah i feel like that's pretty easy to do yeah just just be a lot of it just be happy with where you are and work from there yeah but it's just like some people feel obligated to be a part of something you know and And then you find – the thing about like with Metzger is like he wasn't always like this.

2:24:52I was friends with him long before he started working with Jimmy. And he was, you know, fun and crazy, always like the same kind of guy. But now it's like the obsession is all on deep corruption and conspiracies. It's like, yo. But he's right. He's right about a lot of it. Right. Which is nuts. and he maintains a lot of it in his fucking brain, just bouncing around in there like... But, yeah, but, I mean, it just takes over man. I do think White Precious, his Comedy Central special, that's low-key one of the most underrated specials of all time. That special is great. He's very funny. That special is great.

2:25:31He's very good. His writing's very good. He's just very smart, you know, and he's a great podcast guest, too. Basically, just got to kind of corral him a little bit. you know yeah because he'll go from one subject to the next subject to the next all in like one rant you're like okay go back to that first one queen elizabeth did what yeah yeah you know yeah he's just uh well we have a lot of i mean he's another one that lives in austin though we have a lot of them it's pretty cool yeah it's uh i'm it's it's so it's so fun watching like all these like young kids to like rise up and be and just like find themselves it's so like uh i mentioned fuzzy earlier but just watching him on stage like he doesn't it's so it's great watching him just like figure out to not give a fuck and then see what comes from that yeah like right now he's doing these things at the end when he closes out like fat man he'll also do a q a but he's not famous so the questions are so much funnier and like the answers are so much wilder because it's just some guy that they all just met that's hilarious yeah so it's a it's a very fun dynamic to watch his Q &A's and just being, because the whole audience is like, wait, we're doing a Q &A?

2:26:37Why? We had no questions coming in. That's funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first time I ever saw anybody do a Q &A was Seinfeld. Really? Yeah, he did a whole set. He did like 45 minutes. And then it was at the Paradise in Boston. The Paradise was a small club. It was a rock and roll club that was connected to Stitches. And Stitches was the comedy club. So for the comedy club, like if you're a regular comedian, I think Stitches probably seated maybe 150 people. It was like a little bit bigger than Little Boy. And so if you were a regular comic, like a road headliner, you would do Stitches. And then if you're a big guy like Jerry Seinfeld that had been on television, you'd do The Paradise.

2:27:16Okay. So I was with a date. I think I was maybe 20. And I went to see Jerry Seinfeld before I ever did stand-up. And he did stand-up. And then he came back out and he answered questions. And he would just riff with the audience. And it was fucking great. It was really cool. He just started riffing about stuff. I guess that's like how he was creating material and coming up with new premises. Yeah. Do you get bits when you do that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not an exact science. Like we'll have a whole fun Q &A session for 20 minutes and there's no bits. Right. And I'll do it five times, six times, and then one time, bam, I got one.

2:27:52And then you just got to grab that sucker and reel it into the shore. Yeah, and just work on it. Yeah, and then figure it out. But bottom of the barrel is the best. Bottom of the Barrel is the best premise factory ever Yeah, yeah, oh yeah I feel like, cause there's certain people Who do it, like I think you're, I mean you're great at it And I feel like you should, like, if you were thinking about Doing a special, would you ever consider doing a Bottom of the Barrel Type special? No, because I'd say Too much wild shit that I wouldn't want to get published That's a very fair point, that's a very fair The most insane shit I've ever said has been on Bottom of the Barrel, and just like, I'm so Glad there's a place where I can get this thought out Cause they'll look at you, like Yo, what the fuck?

2:28:29And you're like hey, this wasn't my idea. You fucking wrote this down. Yeah, they get mad at you. I remember one time I got bestiality, and it reminded me of a story. So the way we consumed porn as kids, because you guys had magazines and you'd find in the woods. You have a bit about that. Yeah, that was not so weird. This was like pre-Pornhub, so these pre-YouTubes of porn, as I call them, but there were these dedicated sites. They'd be like, one of them was like Mr. Choose Asian Beaver. I think you can tell what that's about. that one was great probably run by a Jewish guy definitely not a Mr.

2:29:05Chew there was this very racist cartoon beaver and he would have the buck teeth and the rice hat and then he would rate every girl out of five fortune cookies at the end of each video that was the whole premise of the site that's what we were coming up with in porn and we'd watch that together in like 7th grade, that's the R, our huddling around the magazine and then one day we invited the weird guy and he had found one where people fuck animals yeah it was like wow and there's been very famous videos i think there's one called like mr hands or something like that yeah yeah there's very famous like those originated out of those sites and so he was showing us that and then what i said on stage is it gave me the life experience to know that sometimes when you sometimes when you watch people fuck a dog sometimes the dog enjoys it and they all looked at me like i was horrified which is a kind of horrifying thing to say but i was also like well you brought it up yeah i wasn't gonna tell the story unless you asked me some dogs must like it there's probably a girl girl dog out there that likes some dick oh i mean there's probably a guy there's probably a guy dog out there that's giving some dick right now for sure oh yeah to some yeah i've seen crazy ladies i've seen videos when i was a kid there was like this uh video that a friend of mine had and i remember one of us had to watch the door So it was like - Like a sentry?

2:30:25Yeah, because there's a door down into the basement. So one of us had to stand up at the door, and the rest of us were huddled in front of this fucking 12-inch television with a VCR attached to it. Damn. And you put the VHS tape in there. And we were watching like a copy of a copy of a copy of Barnyard Betty. And Barnyard Betty was this crazy - They took some crazy crackhead, and they gave her money to suck a dog's dick and get fucked by a German shepherd. and it's a weird watch, man. Yeah. You come across some weird shit out there. This dog just pumped nut into this fucking poor, drunken, sad, alcoholic, drug addict lady.

2:31:03Jesus. It was sad. Yeah. Sad. Yeah. But that's, yeah, that's how, well, porn's fucked. It's just so, it's so crazy how it's just moved towards, I guess it's more empowering, I guess, when it's about individual creators. Right, like OnlyFans. Yeah. Do you know the numbers? You ever seen the numbers? I saw the one lady that makes more than LeBron. Yeah, that, but I mean the number of actual girls that are on OnlyFans. Oh, it must be depressing. Crazy. Yeah, and it must be depressing how many people are selling themselves to nobody. Exactly. That's the thing. The vast majority aren't making any money.

2:31:40Right. And then their pussy's out there forever. Just forever. Yeah, they're getting fucked by a dildo in front of the whole world. The guy saves it on his hard drive forever and ever and ever and ever. Right. And you were 19 and you just didn't want to work. But I think the number between girls of 18 to, I forget what the age is, something in their 20s, it's like 10%. That's crazy. That's wild. But it's content creation. It's like that's a genuine market that people are going for and that's the way to do it. It's also pornography. It is pornography. Right, but I mean content creation is TikTok, Instagram.

2:32:11Right. You know what I mean? Like that's content creation. I think they view it in the same vein. Wow. Mm-hmm. Well, it depends on what you do, right? I know that top lady, and this is something— Sophie Rain. Sophie Rain. And this is something that's just interesting across all Gen Z is that her thing is that she's a virgin. Right. And that's how she sells, which is like, yeah, which, you know, take it for what it is. But, like, her and that the Nick Shirley guy virgin, Nick Fuentes virgin, it's like, that's like a thing that you can sell to Gen Z is virginity. Yeah, you were talking to me about this in the green room that like this incel problem is unrecognized There's a giant percentage of people that are like voluntarily celibate in this country Yes, I think so and it's like a lot of it is maybe this sort of new religious This sort of religious fervor that's sort of developing with them as well because Gen Z is more religious Yeah, but aren't they horny?

2:33:01I don't get it. They're not me. They're not there's something like some crazy amount of women under 25 I've never been approached by a guy their age, like, in public. What? Yeah, yeah. The game is DMs, so it's all online, so it's all fueling that sort of loneliness. Yeah, they don't go out. They don't go out. Like, alcohol consumption from Gen Z to millennials is like, they drink 800 % less. Some crazy shit like that. Third spaces, you know the concept of a third space? No. Okay, so you have work and home. That's space one, space two. And a third space is like, you know, when I was in college, we go to the bowling alley every day for one summer.

2:33:38It was stuff like that. It's a place that you can all go. The library, the mall, places to exist outside of the two spaces. Those places are completely disappearing. Whether people are staying inside all the time or they've become too expensive. Like movies now are like very expensive. So it's like kind of priced out of being a third space on top of all the things that are going on with movies. So those are also disappearing. So places where you can meet someone in person are gone. So they're not meeting in person. A lot of it is app driven and, you know. And then you got to wonder about like sex drive drop off.

2:34:12Because. Well, you can access porn. Like instantly now. Right. So you can at least play that part of your brain. Give it something. Right. Give it a rush of some kind that it would kind maybe get from like a lesser version of sex, but still fill that void. Right. But there's also testosterone levels have dropped, like fertility levels amongst women have dropped, miscarriages have risen. The West, the West, the fertility rates in the West are like massively concerning. Like it's, you know, people like worry about bringing in migrants, but at the same time, there's the only ones having kids at replacement level.

2:34:53Like the West isn't having that. I had my 15-year high school reunion recently, and I was in town. I was like, I'll go to this. And I was like, damn, I'll probably be the only one who's like not married and doesn't have kids. And most of the people weren't married or didn't have kids. How old are you now? 33. Wow. Yeah. Most? Most of the people there just, I would say, yeah, didn't have kids, which is wild. 33 at any other generation. Wow. This is a late time to not have a kid. Yeah. This is pretty, for people who grew up middle class millennial, I would say this is pretty standard to not have a kid.

2:35:28And there's certain, I think, driving factors, too. The fact that a house is unbuyable for a lot of people my age and younger. Because you're sold a dream on a house and two kids. Well, if you can't get the house, it sucks to be renting with kids. Right. You know, the instability. average home buyer age is increasing while the median age for all u.s home buyers reaching 59 yeah oh that's pretty late yeah record 2025 40 median age for first time buyers hit a record high of 40 yeah so it's like that's how much that's how long you have to like it's hard to raise a kid without a house you know that's crazy and the america i think the american community in that way is dying because like you know you it takes a village to raise a child so You raise a house, you raise a child in a house you bought.

2:36:16Your neighbors generally say the same. There's a certain level of comfort and like, you know, oh, my mom can do this thing for me. I can go to my neighbor's house. And you know what I mean? There's safety in that. But if everyone around you is a renter, then your community kind of disappears. Yeah. There's no like set community. That's a really good point. And it's like bringing up a kids need consistency. So bringing up in a world that's constantly shifting, it's probably anxiety-inducing to people who can't afford homes. For sure. Definitely on that. And then childcare is expensive. Then if also your friends aren't doing it, you know?

2:36:51And then women are waiting later and later because they want to prolong their careers. Right. And then it becomes harder. And then you get into in vitro fertilization. Yeah, there's definitely some with this wave of feminism and capitalism, there's definitely some insidious ties there of just like you can work, create capital for us, and then make it so it's impossible or very hard for one working house spouse, just if the man is working, to raise a kid. Do you think it's on purpose? I think maybe it wouldn't start on purpose, But I think it sort of became intertwined. Well, isn't it just a side effect?

2:37:35If women want to pursue careers, you're going to have less children. But that is for sure. But there's a thing about it. There's this almost demonization of the women who choose to stay at home. Like, you know, it's like, oh, a trad wife. It's looked down on. But isn't that just because of the women that are pursuing careers that give them that look down on? Yeah, that's true. And it's probably because they secretly feel like maybe they're missing out. Maybe. To me, it's so funny that both can exist. It can be the woman that go for their careers and the woman that want to stay home. It's just for one group to demonize the other, I think it's just very interesting.

2:38:11Yeah, it is weird, but it's also like population drop is a real thing. It does look like the humanity. Have you ever seen that population curve of the deer? Yeah, I think humanity is kind of at that point where it levels off. Hmm. Have you – yeah, because I remember my bio class today, which that would be the population – like the exponential growth and then the level off. And we've had the exponential growth and we're looking like that part of the graph. Well, the thing is like there is still exponential growth. It's just not in the West. That's what's kind of weird. Right, right. It's poor people.

2:38:42Poor people want to have a bunch of kids and they're having them all the time. Right. And then they want to come over here. Yeah. Take over Minnesota. And then have their kids in daycare. That doesn't exist. Right. But yeah, there is something happening in the West. Or like the way that like the South Korea and Japan. Oh, they're fucked. They're like fucked. They're like actually fucked. They're like a couple generations away from like how you're going to support this whole thing. Right. Unless you let people in. Well, or you encourage people to have kids. If you turn it around with the youngest people and then you have like a blip for a while, but then it gets back to it.

2:39:17But man, you have to like make a concerted effort. And how do you encourage people to have children? because you're going to have to have women that don't pursue careers. Right. Right? If you're going to have five kids, like, what are you going to do? You're working all day? Right. That's kind of crazy. Right. And when you have kids, you realize how nuts that is because it's like, man, your kids, they want their parents, you know, and that's good for them to have their parents around, especially in this world of predators and creeps and weirdos. And things that can happen at daycare. Right. Yeah.

2:39:47Yeah. Yeah, no, it's, I don't know how they would incentivize that to happen. How do you? Yeah, you can't really. Yeah, because people are selfish. They want what they want in their life. And, you know, when Elon's like, oh, we're experiencing population collapse. They're like, so what? Not me. Bye. I'm going to the movies with my friends. You know what I mean? Like the idea of changing diapers. Like, I don't want, I don't like her that much. Stick around with her for the next 18 years. Yeah, you also, when you have the ability to choose everyone at your fingertips, it's like Netflix. When you can watch everything, you watch nothing.

2:40:21So we can choose everyone. You don't commit to anything. Right. Yeah, it's just because everything is these sort of superfluous, like, kind of deep relationships. I know a lot of people that have used the apps and then found someone and got off the apps. So there are people, but generally they're a little older. Right? Yes, they're like, at a certain age, you sort of, like, look for that. Yeah. But like in your early 20s, when people were like settling down in their 20s beforehand, it made sense. They were the only person around maybe like – but now you're in a city. You can just – it can be like in a big one in New York where there's like an endless stream of people.

2:40:55There's no reason to make a choice if you don't want to. I saw a video of a lady who created an app where a man is allowed to pay for her preparation for the date. so the man sends her money so that she can get her nails done, get clothes for the date, all these different things for the date. And this lady set up this app. Damn, that's smart. It's kind of prostitution. I mean, it's sharp. You know? I mean, it's kind of without the guarantee of sex. I know. It's weird. You're not just showing up. These are my clothes. I drove here in my car. I'm meeting a person. No, it's that person is paying me to prepare for our date.

2:41:36Right. And creating me into a person in his head, it's kind of dark. Well, you're going to get a very different kind of person that's going to meet you. You're going to get a kind of person that's willing to give you money immediately before he has any connection with you at all. Right. Like, he might meet you, and you're fucking super annoying. And he's like, God damn it, I gave that bitch 100 bucks. That's so funny. That's Richard—well, I think it was Richard Feynman. He was talking about getting girls because he was good at it. And he was like, yeah, I never paid for the drink on the first date.

2:42:05Wow. Never. Something like that. That seems kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not going to get a lot of quality women. Maybe it was back then it was different. Yeah, and you're kind of famous in your world. Yeah, he's a famous, brilliant guy. The scientists back then were all like rock stars. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, yeah, they were all like just fucking everyone around them. Isn't that nuts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was normal. Just making the atomic bomb. Just fucking losing their minds. That was the crazy thing about the Oppenheimer thing, right? Oppenheimer was a freak. Good for him.

2:42:34It's just out there getting his fuck on. Yeah, fucking communist chicks. Yeah They're probably fun Oh yeah That's living Especially back then That's living dangerously That's the same level of That's the same level of cum As the gay Republican senator It's like Right This is banned Right This is banned Right How many gay Republican senators Do you think there are? I mean Not zero Yeah For sure In the closet Not zero No definitely not It's usually It is usually the ones That are like the most pro Like anyone who's like Still very pro Anti-gay marriage now Like loudly It's like What's going on here?

2:43:06Or really into war. We got to get those Iraqis out of their homes. Oh, yeah. The fucking just so just war hawks with Iran's going through it right now. What's going on right now? You don't know what's happening in Iran? Well, I know about the protests. I know about killing the protesters. Yeah, that's what, yeah. It seems like there's some sort of a strike that may be imminent. Doesn't it? It feels like it. Like from the United States? Yeah. I think the U.S. is kind of going to stay back for a little bit. You think so? A week in Iran is—they're weak right now because they're dealing with internal strife.

2:43:43It's kind of crazy to see how many people are on the streets. I mean, the average Iranian civilian has gotten a pretty raw deal since the 50s, since we installed the Shah. Yeah. We installed the Shah, and then Khomeini comes and is like, hey, remember the democracy they stole from you? Because we had deposed an elected leader. well we'll bring it back and they're like okay and then the clerics just took over and fucked them and they've just been a constant stream of like the average the average of any incident is just getting fucked by outside forces for so long well it's all about the nationalization of their oil yep they wanted to nationalize their oil and we were like no playa yeah fuck that fuck that you think you're gonna have control over your own state get out of here you heard Metzger's theory about Venezuela last night No.

2:44:32He's like, he goes, I think, I think Maduro is secretly working for the CIA. He helped them arrest him. And then he is going to testify that the 2020 elections were rigged. Wow. If that comes true, what a Babe Ruth call. What a point to the sky that is. That's crazy. I told him if that comes true, I'm buying you a car. I go find a car you really like. We're going to get you a car. Yeah, that's crazy. If you need an American muscle car, I'll get you a Mustang GT or something. But I will say this, when the Iranians protest, it's like admirable because you know they're going to die. A lot of them have already died.

2:45:06They killed thousands of them. A lot of them died. And the same with the hijab protests where just women were disappearing for not wearing hijab. It's like, damn, bro. That's how bad it got. They really like – they've gotten a raw deal historically for the last half a century and they're still fighting. Yeah, crazy. Yeah, I read – when I was a kid, I read this book called Persepolis. It's in my greatest books of all time. but it's uh i read persepolis and i was like maybe in high school early late middle school and i just realized like oh man because you get bombarded especially at that time we're in fighting in the middle east you get bombarded with propaganda of like what these people like over there and i'm reading persepolis i'm like oh right they're just people like she has a scene where she's just wanting to listen to music with her friends but the islamic police is like we'll fucking fuck them up if they get caught and they just have these secret parties we're just listening to music Secret listening to music parties that can wind you up in jail.

2:46:01Yeah, just regular things. What is this? Venezuela opposition leader Maria Corina Machado insists that Maduro rig the 2020 U.S. elections against Donald Trump and many other elections in the region. What? How? I saw that going around too, so I don't know that Kurt's too crazy on that one. What? Yeah, this isn't even the first one. This was just I was showing you the data. How could Maduro rig United States elections? Yeah, where is that power coming from all of a sudden? Because if the power to rig election, do you think he would be able to stop himself from getting arrested? This is from The Gray Zone.

2:46:37It says, Hugo El Polo Carvajal is likely to serve as the star witness for the U.S. against Maduro. Max Blumenthal reveals Carvajal is a coerced witness who cut a secret plea deal to save himself. he's even indulging the Trump Trump's conspiracy theory that Venezuela rigged the 2020 US election the great what's the gray zone is that so I think that's Max Blumenthal show okay so that's like a source yeah okay okay okay he's legit okay yeah uh anti-war um so if if he's saying that maybe there's something to it. Damn. How would he... In what mechanism would Maduro be able to do an election? Okay, let's find that out.

2:47:26How do they think Maduro had a hand in rigging the 2020 election? What's the conspiracy? Yeah. Was it like he helped with the mail-in votes? Because that's the only way you could steal that election, right? Venezuela's pretty far away. Here's a tweet from before the election even happened. Nicolas Maduro's campaign manager. This is from 2024. Just went on national TV to declare victory despite exit polls showing a historic loss for their socialist regime. They're setting up to commit a bigger election theft than the 2020 election in the United States. That doesn't add up. No, that's not. That's just someone's opinion.

2:48:03Yeah, how does that add up? That they're stealing the election in Venezuela. Yeah, because they stole it in Venezuela? But they did steal it in Venezuela. Yeah, that's for sure. What does it say? I'm just looking around. It says he did clearly stole Venezuela's election, threatened bloodshed if he lost, restricted—what is that, intel? International observers. International observers. Blocked transmission of results. Yeah, that definitely happened. I mean, it was very telling how happy the Venezuelans in America were when he was gone. Yeah. That was a genuine thing. They were very, very pleased about that.

2:48:44And then you had people, you had white leftists be like, this is bad. Yeah, you're supporting a dictator. And the way they did it was so unprecedented. Going and storm the fucking castle and steal the guy. What? Kind of shows the power. Kind of tells also the other countries, like, hey, back off. Well, it's pretty crazy what they did, if it's true, with that whole sonar weapon or sound weapon, whatever it did, that literally makes your organs bubble. Jesus. Everybody falls to the ground. They're writhing in pain and agony, and then they just stormed in, and everybody was incapacitated. Damn. Stormed in, fucked everybody up, and that was a wrap.

2:49:21Well, if that's what war is becoming, that's kind of better. It's kind of crazy. That's kind of better than ground troops and nonstop fighting in 20 years in Afghanistan. Okay, here's lawyer Sidney Powell in 2020 talking about Maduro having access to voting fraud technology. Maduro's going to sing like a canary and the Democrats are screwed. No wonder why. Okay. Is that lady even real? Who? That looks like the person tweeting this. See, this reeks of bot to me. Yeah, yeah. Follow me for breaking news. Yeah. That's what it says. Yeah, yeah. Why do you know? or just a guy clearly, account clearly just making stuff up.

2:50:04See if you can find an account of how they did it because there's an account by someone who was a witness that was there at the scene that said how fucking crazy it was that these guys came out of nowhere the helicopters came out of nowhere the drones, they shut down all the radar everything got shut down and then all of a sudden there's drones flying everywhere and helicopters and these dudes 20 guys killed, you know, who knows how many fucking humans. Right. No one got killed on the American side. They captured him and his wife, stuffed him back in the helicopter, and they were in and out in 10 minutes.

2:50:37In 10 minutes, yeah. There's a very famous video of a Twitch streamer in Venezuela just out in the streets, and then everything just... Really? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, it just goes dark. That's crazy. Damn. That's crazy. And you're a human. You can tell, like, oh, something's up. Yeah. This is not a normal everything. Like all the streetlights, it went just dark. Well, it's crazy because we knew they had some really wild technology, but we didn't know what they were capable of until we've seen this. And they're like, oh. What's really interesting is my friend Evan Hafer was talking about that like a year ago on the podcast.

2:51:12He was talking about it maybe less than a year. He was like, if we go to war with the cartels, like they have no idea what kind of ultraviolence they're in for. He's like, the shit that these guys are going to do when they're going to plan this out. They built a replica of his house and they went through it blindfolded. Yeah. So they know exactly where every turn is, where to go. They war planned this for a long time. The live streamer thing was a false story. Oh, it was false? Which one? Of the live stream going out? Yeah. Right. But find the account of the witness. I was looking for that and I stumbled across that on the way to it.

2:51:51Okay. the account of the guy who said he was there if it's accurate is crazy because he basically said they just incapacitated everyone and then just went in and murdered everybody and pulled out Maduro like no one could move you can't do anything and then these guys land in helicopters and everyone's writhing in agony just running through whacked everybody no one got shot back at crazy yeah but I think that's what warfare outside of what's happening in Russia and Ukraine That's kind of what warfare is now, right? Like, oh, is Israel going to go to war with Iran? We'll just quickly just take out all their generals real quick.

2:52:30And the threat of war is done. You're dealing with Venezuela versus the United States of America. Right. But if it was the United States of America versus Russia. Or China, it would be a lot different. It's a lot more fucked up. Venezuela doesn't have nuclear bombs. That's why you can get away with shit like this. Right, right. Yeah, that's a fair point. That is part of the thing, you know. And then it's like the whole thing's so transparent. Trump's like immediately, we're going to take the oil. There's plenty of oil. Oh, yeah. Working on a deal. Yeah, I don't think it was a coincidence that all of a sudden I had gas under$2 last week in the gas station across the street.

2:53:07I was like, huh, I wonder if that's Venezuela related. Not in California. Oh, no. California gas companies are pulling out. Valero pulled out of California. It's going to cost them$1 billion. And they're like, eh. It's not worth it. rather leave yeah damn fuck you well yeah the cost of living there is so high too it's like like when we talk about like young comics it's like it's what you have in austin is like at least a way a much cheaper quality of life and better and better yeah where you have space and like you know things are more expensive than anywhere else in texas probably for sure but like it's still like gas was under two dollars you can get you can like rent is stabilizing it's going down It's going to go down.

2:53:49I think a lot of like California and New York developers came in here and they were like, Austin's where people are. So we can just build a lot. But in New York and California, you have a finite amount of space. And Austin, you can just build out. And once you build out, like the rent at my place went down because people were like, oh, I'll just buy a house out there. Right. And no one's living in the apartment complex. And like, you know, like. If you live in Dripping Springs, it's way cheaper and it's only 30 minutes away. Yeah, exactly. Everywhere in the country, 30 minute commute is normal.

2:54:15Right. Right. Yeah, it's normal. Here, what's nice about here is you'll see something that's 15 minutes. It'll be 15 miles. You'll be like, oh, that's normal. That's normal. I went 15 miles. Yeah, it was an hour and a half. No, it was almost two hours. I went from Redondo Beach to fucking Burbank after a podcast at five. And I was like, oh, I should have just killed myself. That would have been a more effective use of my time. Locked up. Yeah, yeah. When the 405 or the 5 gets locked up, it's depressing. Oh, it's hell. That trip down to San Diego, if you want to do the La Jolla store. You got to leave early.

2:54:48You got to leave at noon. Leave at noon. Because that means you'll be down in San Diego right around the time rush hour starts. Crazy. Yeah, it's just a cheaper place for a young comic who, if it's time to move to a place, it's like Austin does offer a cheaper quality for quality stage time as well. It's also just a better vibe. There's less tension. There's less people. Yes. Yes. I feel like there are times where I would take a day off in LA and I feel like I'm falling behind because everyone around you is so frantic. And here it's like, oh, I can breathe. I can actually just enjoy this day off.

2:55:26Which is important. You got to have some kind of balance. You want to be a little bit frantic, but then you got to achieve some balance and let your brain sort of recalibrate, come back on, just get a new perspective. Yeah. Rest is so – this grind culture. Before we get into this, though, same kind of thing. I'll check the account. Fucked up account. Main proponent for the drive to recall Gavin Newsom, California needs to rebuild the better. So it might be a fake person. And then there's no evidence to like a link or where they got the information from, which is why I just checked first. But they just have a long story here.

2:56:03It just says interview security guard. So it could be total propaganda, right? Yeah. Made up from, you know, you could ask AI to make up a story. Right. Any good story to put on Twitter. And then, yeah, just... Have you tried to find it anywhere else? Is it only from this one guy? Yeah, that's why I was finding it. It was Caroline Leavitt shared it. And this was the... That's the main account where she shared it from? Stop what you're doing and read this. Nah. I Googled that and she said that a ton of times. How long has Caroline Leavitt been the press secretary this whole time? Aren't they...

2:56:35How quickly do they move past those? They usually last about two years except for that last lady. Except for the last one, yeah. I wonder if that set a precedent. She decided to hang in there to bid her in. They were trying to get rid of her. She sucked. Saint Pierre, right? Yeah, whatever her name was. It wasn't Saint Pierre. It wasn't Saint Pierre. I thought it was something like that. Karine Jean-Pierre. Okay, yeah. It was something Pierre. It was something Pierre, yeah, yeah. Bro, she was terrible. She did it forever. And again, the president is committed. The president, like she would do like the Obama thing with her fingers.

2:57:02Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the fuck out of here. They just try. She had to lie all the time. That's her job. She had to come for a dead person. Yeah. Yeah, that's hard to do. That's pretty like, you know, you have to keep juggling a lot to be like, oh, this dead person's still alive. I thought he was going to die like immediately after he left office. I'm like, he's going to die soon, like real soon. Yeah, it's kind of wild he's kept going. But every now and then they'll trot him out and he'll start talking. He'll be at an Eagles game. He'll be like, yeah, you know what's going on. But every now and then he'll talk.

2:57:32They'll let him talk. There's been a few of those where he'll talk like, thank God you didn't win. Jesus Christ. If you came back, if they never replaced Kamala with you, and you won, or you and Kamala, and you won, and you're this guy now? Well, yeah. Well, he fucked them by not bowing out. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, at least let them have a primary. Because then it just became Kamala versus Trump and the whole, like, oh, vote for me to fight fascism. But no one voted for you in the first place. The thing is, if they had a primary, who do you think would have been it? They probably would have made her.

2:58:09the democrats would have decided on her anyway i think because it would have been too soon for newsom to run he still has that stink of covid on him so he's that's why he waited for this this go around yeah it's been enough people have forgotten covid enough it's been more than half it's been half a decade since it's people's minds like people's political memories are so short that yeah 2028 that's so far away from covid that he he can he can just be like i did fine or Whatever the fuck do you think so? I think so Enough to enough to run enough to probably get the nomination you think he's gonna get the nomination who else?

2:58:42Who else can rise over the next three years? Someone was someone else would have to it if it would have been an Obama thing It would be like someone who would be rising in this upcoming midterm. So if there's someone like that maybe But all it takes is someone who's a compelling speaker who's not Demonstrably full of shit because the thing about him is he's so vulnerable to any kind of a debate When someone starts talking about the fraud and waste in California, how about the high-speed rail? They spent billions of dollars. It was like nothing. Like soon. We're going to get it done soon. There's so much fraud.

2:59:13So much waste. Yeah, but I don't think they have anything. Because right now, you can just run on like, I'm not Trump. And that'll be enough to get people to be like, yeah, he's not Trump. What about that Josh Shapiro guy? The guy who's the governor of Pennsylvania? Maybe. I don't know. To me, it's just like a popularity contest, and he's making a lot of noise. A lot of people upset with the Jews right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a fair point. Yeah. That's a fair point. Shapiro? Hmm. It just seems like, hmm. Yeah. That's a good point. It just seems like he's the one making the most noise, and we're getting towards crunch time.

2:59:51Not really, but the closer we get to the midterms and there's no other big voice, it makes me feel like it's going to be him. Well, clearly he wants to do it. He definitely wants to do it. Yeah. And he might just be powerful politically enough to win that nomination. Imagine if that guy fucks up San Francisco, fucks up California, and then goes on to fuck up the whole country. Oh, it's very possible. Maybe not very possible, but I think it's an outcome. It's an outcome. He's definitely running. It's going to be—I don't know what that ticket's going to be, but— They're going to make us all trans.

3:00:26Yeah, it's going to be like a Newsom Crockett. That's my early call of what they're going to try to run. No, shut the fuck up. Are you kidding? Yeah, yeah, I think so. Really? Yeah, yeah. I think that's who they're— Wow. Because she's very revered. Not AOC? Maybe AOC. I think AOC is more reasonable. AOC is much more reasonable, for sure. Have you ever seen when Crockett and Marjorie Taylor Greene start going back and forth with each other, insulting each other and yelling at each other? No, that's— Oh, yeah, I did. I did see that. That's a very fun moment.

3:00:56Nobody wants to be a representative. That's the thing. It's like all these successful business people and academics, they don't want to do that. No, it's all like lawyers and like, yeah. And creeps. And creeps. Yeah, that's the only, well, it's like it's one of those things where, you're right, the person who wants to do it probably isn't, or the person who should do it probably isn't going to want to do it. 100%. Because you do have to make decisions that negatively affect millions of people's lives sometimes. And you've got to grease the pockets of your donors. Yeah, and to be like a regular guy and want to do that probably would tear you apart.

3:01:30To be like, here's a decision that'll kill people. You've got to be kind of a sociopath. What's really fucked is how much of an impact people like us have on elections now. That's what's nuts. Like podcasters have a big impact on elections now, which is really weird. That's how much the mainstream media has kind of lost its lead. Dropped the ball. Dropped the ball hardcore. Well, it's just by being unreliable. like being people that you can't trust and uncensored conversation is like people are gonna trust them more because this is how this is how people talk to their friends more often than not yeah then like oh i can't say this because this sponsor is gonna be mad at me right you know like this is this is just a much more accessible way of finding out people's real thoughts and a lot of it is just how we talk i mean this there's been so many times we've been in the green room that totally could have been a podcast right just put a camera on it live in the green room it would fuck up the vibe.

3:02:22But it would be a great podcast. Yeah, it would. It would fuck up the vibe. Yeah, it would lose that quality that would make it a good podcast if we were trying to actually podcast. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. All right, brother. Well, I'll see you tonight. I'll see you tonight. And tell everybody your special. It's out. It's on YouTube. It's on YouTube. It's called Too Soon. Check it out. I'm very proud of this material. It's great material, man. And you've been killing it. You've been killing it at the club. And the new stuff is fantastic, too. Thank you. And yeah, go to a side. Look at that hair.

3:02:48Look at that hair. Every time I've been on here, I've had different hair. Today I went cornrows. Yeah. You've had the cornrows for a while now, right? Just a week or so. I did it for a sketch, and then I was like, I kind of like this. Yeah, it's crazy for this guy, this hairline to have cornrows. All right, my brother. Appreciate you. See you tonight. See you tonight. Bye, everybody. Bye.

3:03:47We'll be right back. of better health for everyone. Give now at feedingamerica.org slash health. Greenlight helps kids learn about money by actually using it. It's a debit card and money app that teaches kids to earn, save and spend in real life, not just swipe and hope for the best. Learning happens naturally in the moment. Parents can set limits, see real time spending and guide better habits all in one place without constant check ins or cash runs. Don't wait. Try Greenlight risk free today at greenlight.com slash try greenlight.