#2505 - Tom Segura

25 May 2026 · 2 h 50 min · 80 chapters

Ask about this episode

Ask anything about it. ChatGPT or Claude reads this page and answers with the times it was said.

Connect VO and ask about every podcast you hear, including the moments you saved. Add to ChatGPT · Add to Claude

In short

Tom Segura discusses his experience with comedy and TV (especially Netflix’s “Bad Thoughts” and dance-related bits), fitness training with heavy weighted vests, Texas wild hog hunting and cooking wild game, and then pivots into dark historical/political violence (Uday Hussein) plus broader debates about AI, education, and misinformation.

Guest backgrounds

Tom Segura is a stand-up comedian and actor known for his podcasting and Netflix specials. Joe Rogan is the host, a UFC commentator and interviewer who frequently covers comedy, politics, science, and current events.

Key claims

  1. Segura praises his own comedy work as “one mind” creative control, citing specific “Bad Thoughts” episodes like a dance episode and a “Freaky Friday” episode with Jamie.
  2. He credits Bert’s athleticism and weight loss, claiming Bert improved his 5K time by 16 minutes and lost 50 pounds.
  3. Texas wild pigs are portrayed as an extreme ecological problem: Segura cites 2.6–4 million wild pigs in Texas, with year-round hunting using night vision.
  4. He argues AI is inevitable and people should learn it rather than boo it at commencement speeches; he also warns about student debt and job displacement.
  5. He describes Uday Hussein as uniquely sadistic, including torture of athletes and mass killings at parties, using detailed anecdotes from research.

Notable examples

  • Wild hog hunting: pigs eating carrion and undercooked meat risks (trichinosis); Tannerite/thermite-like explosive feeder tactics; pig “infestation” sounds like “demons.”
  • Cooking: Jesse Griffiths of Dai Due Restaurant and a small-group cooking school teaching hunting, butchery, and cooking; examples include smoked wild boar and diver duck preparation.
  • Uday Hussein: torture methods against athletes (sewage tank, gravel pit, concrete ball kicking), “cup of friendship” (90% alcohol), and claims of ~200 deaths at his parties yearly.
  • AI: an AI blackmail story (Andreessen discussion) and examples of AI-generated social media content and “AI OnlyFans” earnings.

Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.

Chapters

Tap a time to open that second in VO

Discussing the New Season of a Show

0:46 to 2:30

Joe and Tom chat about Tom's experience with a new show season, highlighting its entertaining moments.

“Without, like, a whole bunch of people saying, don't do that, don't do this.”

Dance Rehearsals and Competitions

2:31 to 4:30

The hosts reminisce about dance rehearsals and a friendly competition between Tom and Bert.

“Which is like a normal amount that people lose.”

Fitness and Weight Loss Journey

4:31 to 7:48

Tom shares insights about fitness, his friend's weight loss, and the challenges of working out.

“How long does that hunting season last here?”

Hunting Wild Pigs in Texas

7:49 to 10:45

Discussion on the wild pig population in Texas and the hunting practices associated with it.

“But he has this school where he'll teach you how to hunt, teaches you how to butcher the animal, how to break it down into cuts, and then he teaches you how to cook it.”

Cooking Wild Game with a Chef

10:46 to 13:10

Tom talks about his experiences cooking wild game with a talented chef and the culinary delights they create.

“Select banana ball games available to all Disney-plus subscribers.”

Uday Hussein's Early Life and Violence

14:01 to 19:53

Explore the violent childhood and the actions of Uday Hussein that shaped his future.

“And so when he was born, she was like, he's like a devil child.”

Uday's Sadistic Behaviors and Parties

20:53 to 28:00

Discuss the horrific behaviors and sadistic practices of Uday Hussein at his parties.

“I wonder how old he was when he killed his first person.”

Consequences of Assassination

28:00 to 28:36

Understanding the aftermath of a failed assassination in Iraq.

“Okay, Sodom's men arrested Abu Shagad and learned the details of other members of his team.”

The Impotent Leader

28:36 to 29:50

Exploring the notorious leadership of Saddam Hussein and his reign of terror.

“That's really - According to popular belief, he was impotent.”

A Changing Baghdad

29:50 to 30:29

Discussing the historical transformation of Baghdad from a vibrant city to conflict-ridden.

“Well, Baghdad fell apart a long time ago when they got invaded by the Mongols.”
Show all 80 chapters

The Shift in Los Angeles

30:29 to 31:19

Examining the changes in Los Angeles and its impact on residents.

“You think things are a certain way forever.”

Dealing with AI and Reality

31:19 to 31:45

The challenges and perceptions surrounding AI technology in today's world.

“There's people that take pictures and put it up on X.”

AI's Growing Influence

31:45 to 32:45

How AI is shaping content creation and influencing social media.

“I know, but we're still in like the early phases of it.”

AI and Future Job Market

32:45 to 34:25

The potential impact of AI on future job prospects and the economy.

“It's not that I'm, oh, yeah, fucking AI is awesome.”

AI Ethics and Self-Preservation

34:25 to 35:50

Discussing the ethical implications of AI's self-preservation instincts.

“I'm like, what do these data centers do?”

College Debt Crisis

36:50 to 39:05

The growing problem of student debt and its implications for graduates.

“The question is, will it have instincts?”

AI Misunderstandings in Academia

39:05 to 42:00

Personal experiences with accusations of using AI in academic work.

“I'll be balling, but you might not be balling, but you might be saddled to a debt that you can't fucking get out of no matter what.”

The Impact of Doubt in Education

42:00 to 43:40

Explore the emotional impact of being doubted by authority figures.

“My daughter had an experience like that with someone who was like she's preparing for some tests and she was doing some stuff.”

Overcoming Negative Opinions

43:40 to 45:20

Discuss how negative comments can motivate personal success.

“And, like, that's still, like, stuck in her craw all these years later.”

The Harsh Realities of Stand-Up Comedy

45:20 to 47:20

Learn about the challenges comedians face in their career paths.

“It's like, I think you need a few of those in your life to know those people exist.”

The Evolution of Comedic Styles

47:20 to 49:20

Investigate how comedic styles evolve and the cyclical nature of performance.

“And then they figure out how to loosen up.”

Ventriloquism's Place in Comedy

49:20 to 51:00

Explore the decline and potential resurgence of ventriloquism in comedy.

“I'm like, that's kind of crazy that you dominate an entire genre now.”

The Unique Nature of Comedy Shows

51:00 to 53:00

Understand the unique dynamics of comedy shows with different audience demographics.

“But it was also like, there was something twisted about Otto.”

The Challenge of Themed Comedy Shows

53:00 to 56:00

Discuss the difficulties and rewards of creating themed comedy performances.

“But other than him, like guys coming up, Duncan had that one bit.”

Exploring Comedy Themes

56:00 to 56:40

Discussion on how comedy can draw from personal experiences and themes.

“And then he would talk about it sometimes.”

Dark Humor and Historical Insights

56:40 to 57:40

A dive into dark humor related to historical beliefs about masturbation.

“He would tell me these stories of stuff that's actually in the Bible or in the Talmud that you wouldn't believe.”

Judaism and Masturbation

57:40 to 59:10

Discussion on Jewish laws and perspectives regarding masturbation.

“They're like stringing along, you know, the, uh, the feeling so that like you get close.”

Kabbalah and Demon Pregnancy

59:10 to 1:02:10

Exploration of Kabbalistic ideas related to masturbation and demons.

“also prohibits a man from intentionally arousing himself.”

The Kabbalah's Mystical Nature

1:02:10 to 1:04:50

Examination of the Kabbalah and its perception in modern Judaism.

“Later mystical folkloric expansion, usually tied to Kabbalah and popular preaching, not to the Talmud itself.”

Noah's Ark and Archaeological Discoveries

1:04:50 to 1:07:10

Conversation about the historical claims surrounding Noah's Ark.

“Like, we always want to go, like, how old is it?”

New Evidence of Noah's Ark

1:07:10 to 1:10:00

Discussion on recent research and claims about the location of Noah's Ark.

“But the problem, though, is back then they didn't know what was going on in Australia.”

Exploring Ancient Ruins and Discoveries

1:10:00 to 1:11:20

Learn about recent discoveries of ancient sites and their implications.

“I mean, even if they're like, this is not that, to find that an old ship like that is still cool.”

Unraveling Ancient Human History

1:11:48 to 1:14:38

Understand the timeline of human habitation in the Americas and its discoveries.

“It's like people were living here long before the end of the Ice Age.”

The Impact of Catastrophic Flooding

1:14:38 to 1:17:25

Explore theories about catastrophic flooding events in Earth's history.

“It all looks like it was washed out a long time ago.”

The Mysteries of the Ocean Depths

1:17:25 to 1:21:18

Dive into discussions about the ocean's unexplored areas and their secrets.

“Yeah, he made a record-breaking solo dive to Earth's lowest point, successfully piled on the submarine nearly 11 kilometers deep into the bottom of the Mariana Trench.”

James Cameron's Deep Sea Adventures

1:21:18 to 1:24:00

Learn about James Cameron's underwater explorations and innovation.

“So look, it looks like it's leaving a trail.”

Whistleblowers and Dark Revelations

1:24:00 to 1:25:16

Discussion about whistleblowers and the dangers of ignoring warnings.

“He was like one of the top people speaking about what they got.”

The Allure of Carbon Fiber

1:25:16 to 1:26:32

Exploration of the fascination with carbon fiber in cars and its impact.

“It's that he couldn't design one that was light enough to do multiple trips and be towed out.”

Classic Recreations and Custom Cars

1:26:32 to 1:28:47

Overview of Classic Recreations' carbon fiber Mustang and its features.

“But it's like there's something cool about the way it looks.”

The Appeal of Old Cars

1:28:47 to 1:31:22

A debate on the aesthetics and functionality of old Porsches vs. Ferraris.

“I mean, it's still probably a fairly heavy car, but that's the different one.”

Driving Experiences and Car Enjoyment

1:31:22 to 1:35:29

Discussion on the feeling of driving various cars and what makes them fun.

“I love when they customize them and they put cool paint on them.”

The Balance of Fun and Speed

1:35:29 to 1:37:24

Exploring the relationship between speed and the enjoyment of driving.

“It was like one of my most enjoyable cars I ever owned.”

Nostalgia for Personal Cars

1:37:24 to 1:38:00

Reflecting on personal cars that provided joy and the memories tied to them.

“Yeah, and again not not the fastest car pretty fast for the time, but you know like Porsche's handle like I before that I had had a 911 turbo it's way faster handles way better.”

Heavy Cars and Electric Vehicles

1:38:00 to 1:39:00

Discussion about the weight of modern cars, focusing on electric vehicles like the Escalade IQ.

“cars today are very very heavy yeah they're very heavy i looked up the um the Escalade IQ.”

Driving in LA: The Convertible Experience

1:39:00 to 1:40:00

Exploration of the joys of driving a convertible in Los Angeles, especially at night.

“And if it had a dent on it, it probably looked cooler.”

Comedy Store Memories

1:40:00 to 1:41:00

Recollections of performing at the Comedy Store and the vibrant atmosphere during the Netflix festival.

“To be one of those sperm that made it through and cracked the egg.”

Production Insights and Creative Freedom

1:41:00 to 1:42:00

Insights into the creative process and collaborative nature of producing a show, emphasizing freedom in storytelling.

“It's such a perfect show for you because it's like it's so obvious that it's your imagination because no one would think of these fucking things.”

Netflix's Unique Approach to Content

1:42:00 to 1:43:40

Discussion on Netflix's approach to allowing diverse and unconventional content without ideological constraints.

“I don't want to give that away either, but it's so ridiculous.”

Controversial Content and Actor Reactions

1:43:40 to 1:45:40

Reactions from actors regarding controversial scenes in the show and the challenges faced in casting.

“Like, there's not a fucking chance in hell.”

Changing Language and Political Correctness

1:45:40 to 1:46:40

Discussion about the evolution of language and the political correctness surrounding terms like 'dwarf' and 'native'.

“Well, the problem is that when she would talk, she would say things that were so unappealing.”

Cultural Sensitivities in Canada

1:46:40 to 1:49:00

Exploration of cultural sensitivities in Canada and the shifting societal norms regarding terminology.

“If you went into a coma and you woke up like three years later, you'd be so lost.”

Assisted Suicide in Canada: A Controversial Topic

1:49:00 to 1:51:40

In-depth discussion on Canada's assisted suicide program and the ethical implications surrounding it.

“It's like what they did up there, they're doing some wild things.”

Tragic Case of Assisted Death

1:51:40 to 1:52:01

Examination of a tragic case involving a young man euthanized due to mental health struggles, prompting ethical questions.

“26-year-old Canadian man who had seasonal depression has been euthanized by a notorious doctor who is personally responsible for ending the lives of over 400 of her patients.”

Discussion on Assisted Dying and Mental Health

1:52:01 to 1:54:00

Explore the complex issues surrounding assisted dying and mental health struggles.

“So Keanu Vuffian, I don't know how to say his last name, also had partial vision loss and lived with type 1 diabetes.”

The Story of Boyd Taylor's Suicide

1:54:01 to 1:56:20

A deep dive into the bizarre and tragic story of Boyd Taylor's suicide by guillotine.

“And at 3 a.m., it hit the switch and this giant fucking blade lops off his head.”

Analysis of Boyd's Method and Family Dynamics

1:56:21 to 1:57:59

Examining the engineering behind Boyd's method and its implications for his family.

“But, I mean, to want to do that and have your dad find it.”

Reflections on Suicide and Mental Health

1:58:00 to 2:00:14

Discussion on the implications of suicide and the mental health struggles behind it.

“His father heard the jigsaw in action and thought the chimney had collapsed, but returned to the bed when all felt quiet.”

Seasonal Affective Disorder and Its Impact

2:00:15 to 2:03:29

Exploration of how seasonal changes affect mental health and behaviors.

“So that fucker had some good momentum Yeah Shaboom Woo!”

The Role of Vitamin D in Health

2:03:30 to 2:05:44

Understanding how sunlight and vitamin D impact overall health and immune function.

“Yeah, everyone has blackout windows and everything.”

Transformation Stories: Jelly Roll's Journey

2:05:45 to 2:06:00

Highlighting Jelly Roll's weight loss journey and its inspirational aspects.

“You've made one of the most dramatic transformations of anybody that I know, other than Jelly Roll.”

Transformation and Vulnerability

2:06:00 to 2:07:29

Discussion about a person's inspiring transformation and the challenges they faced.

“He's a funny guy, and he's comfortable with an audience.”

The Dangers of Infections

2:07:30 to 2:09:50

A conversation about the risks of infections, particularly sepsis, in various contexts.

“I know a lot of people that get skin infections because of jiu-jitsu.”

Ultimate Fighting and Injuries

2:09:51 to 2:10:56

Discussion about injuries in the UFC and the determination of fighters in facing challenges.

“Like, he's such an animal that while he had COVID, he would not stop training.”

Celebrity Fights and Their Implications

2:10:57 to 2:12:35

Analysis of celebrity boxing matches and unexpected outcomes.

“Went into a world title fight against the scariest guy in the division and beat him with one arm.”

Interview Techniques and Moments

2:12:36 to 2:14:08

Insights on effective interviewing techniques and memorable moments in interviews.

“Someone asked during the press conference they had, which I thought was true.”

Humor and Bizarre Stories

2:14:09 to 2:19:06

A humorous discussion about odd behaviors and anecdotes about pets and people.

“Can you answer yes or no and then go into that?”

Peanut Butter Incident and Superhot Fire

2:20:00 to 2:21:00

The discussion starts humorously with a bizarre incident involving peanut butter, leading into a conversation about a fighter named Superhot Fire.

“I had a peanut butter in my ass, and I just didn't know what I was saying.”

Suspicious Betting in UFC

2:21:00 to 2:23:20

They delve into the topic of suspicious betting practices in the UFC and the implications of insider information.

“I don't want to say too much because I don't want to get nobody in trouble.”

Legal Implications of Betting

2:23:20 to 2:24:50

Discussion about the legal grey areas of betting on sports, especially when insider knowledge is involved.

“And the way that it all fell apart was they just got too greedy.”

Insider Trading and Congressional Ethics

2:24:50 to 2:27:00

Exploration of insider trading in Congress and how politicians might exploit their positions for financial gain.

“You can't be sure that he's not going to still try to win.”

Trump's Settlement with the IRS

2:27:00 to 2:29:10

Discussion about Trump's settlement with the IRS over leaked tax returns and implications for his financial dealings.

“Oh, did you see that thing that I sent you, Jamie?”

Government Provocateurs and Entrapment

2:29:10 to 2:34:00

A deep dive into instances of government agencies using informants to instigate crimes and the ethical dilemmas involved.

“The latest thing is that he and his kids and his company cannot be audited.”

The Dilemma of Trust in Crime

2:34:00 to 2:34:49

Explore the challenges criminals face in trusting their associates.

“and they're never going to be able to do because you're going to arrest them before they go to do it.”

Prosecutors and Career Motivations

2:34:50 to 2:35:41

Discuss the motivations behind prosecutors' actions and their impact on justice.

“So they just fucking monkey around with the evidence.”

Anecdotes of Traffic Stops

2:35:42 to 2:37:05

Humorous stories about police encounters and the dynamics of traffic stops.

“But he pulls me over and he's like, I saw you cross the white line back there.”

The Reality of Police Quotas

2:37:06 to 2:38:31

Examine the concept of police quotas and their consequences on law enforcement.

“And then all of a sudden, the lights come on.”

Abuse of Power in Law Enforcement

2:38:32 to 2:39:35

Investigate the abuse of power among law enforcement officials and its effects.

“I mean, they would pinch people for something else.”

Dictators and Their Paranoia

2:39:36 to 2:40:45

Explore the psychological traits of dictators, particularly their paranoia.

“That's like all the dictator stuff I've been reading is like.”

War and Financial Corruption

2:40:46 to 2:42:10

Discuss how war leads to financial corruption and the misappropriation of funds.

“Hours before the 2003 invasion of Iraq, Couset withdrew approximately one billion dollars in cash in cash hundred dollar bills what?”

Government Spending and Infrastructure

2:42:11 to 2:43:56

Highlight the disparity between government spending priorities and infrastructure needs.

“because he was killed shortly thereafter where's that money?”
Hear the part that matters, and keep it.Open this episode in VO. Double tap your headphones to save a moment as you listen.
Get VO free

Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:01Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Tommy buns. What's that name, dude? I watched two episodes of the new season. Oh, thanks, man. Ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. So you. That show is so you. I don't want to give anything away, but the dance one, I was fucking crying. I was crying. and the Freaky Friday one. Yeah, yeah, with Jamie. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. They're so fun. They're so fun. It seems so fun for you. It's the most fun I have. It's like it's so – it is one of the best examples of, like, one mind, like one person's mind in a show.

0:51Yeah. Without, like, a whole bunch of people saying, don't do that, don't do this. They give us no restraints in the craziest, greatest sense. They really are like, do whatever you want to do. The Kevin Nealon one, the first one was so fucking ridiculous. It's so you. It's such a great time. The dance one, you know, I went to six rehearsals for that, dance rehearsals. Dancing is hard. It was so hard. Remember when you did the Steven Seagal thing? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I had to do a bunch of rehearsals for that, too. For people that hadn't seen it, that's you and Bert. Bert made a dance video. You guys had a competition.

1:28See who makes the best one? He was just saying we should all do one. And then I was like, yeah, okay. And then he just dropped one. So there was no, like, let's both do one. And then he was like, I'm a better dancer. And I was like, eat shit, dude. There's something about him saying he's better at something that's infuriating. It's so crazy. because it's just like wild, unhinged confidence, you know? And the truth is, I got to give him his credit. He is capable of so much of this stuff too. Well, he's a great athlete. Great. That's why he's so confident about stuff. He dropped a bunch of weight, and then we did our 5K a few weeks ago for the Netflix is a joke.

2:12We did a 5K again. From last year to this year, he dropped 16 minutes off of his time. Holy shit. I was like, dude. That's crazy. You dropped 50 pounds, too. Can you imagine doing a 5K with a 50-pound vest on? It's crazy. It's really. I think about that every time I work out with a vest on. And my vest that I usually work out with is only 25 pounds. 25, yeah. Which is like a normal amount that people lose. Yeah. Like, this is crazy how much harder everything is. So much harder. Yeah. It's great to wear those on, like, a hike. And then you take it off and you're like, oh, my God. I have a 35-pounder I wear when I walk the dog.

2:44and then I have another one that's an actual backpack frame that I put plates on it, and I can get it up to 90 pounds. I did a hike with a 50 on, and I had to take that shit off. It's fucking hard, man. It's really hard. I do with one 45-pound plate, so the backpack itself is probably about four pounds, and then the plate is another 45. That shoulder-neck area just starts to go on you. It's rough. Yeah, it's really rough. I do it before hunting season, though, because it's the best thing to prepare you for actually having a backpack on in the mountains. Yeah, yeah. Because you don't realize how you're carrying a bow.

3:17I don't pack my whole camp on my back. Some guys, when they go out to the backcountry for like 8, 10 days, they'll have an 80-pound, 60-pound pack. Because they've got their food for like a week in there. And then they have their bedding. And they have some kind of a shelter. Do you go hunt like that? No. Like that level? I don't do that anymore. I've done it a few times. You have? But I don't like it. My boys are hitting me up. Like they want to go hunting. Really? Yeah, because I take them shooting, but we just shoot targets. Oh, we have a lease out here. We could take you pig hunting. Oh, my goodness.

3:50They have to kill them. They have so many of them, dude. It's the craziest infestation of animals you've ever seen. You hear them in the bushes. They sound like demons. They're everywhere. There's so many of them, dude. That's crazy. Texas has millions and millions of pigs. Is it really that many? Oh, yeah. I don't even know what the full number is. But they don't know because it goes up every month. So the thing is, like, wild pigs have as many as three litters a year, and they could have as many as six piglets per litter. Jesus. Yeah. And they start giving birth at six months old. And then do they do the thing, because, like, with a lot of, you know, animals that they say you can hunt these, it's because they are destroying, like, the ecosystem.

4:34Oh, yeah. Destroying everything. Really? So what is the number? 2.6 to 4 million wild pigs. Isn't that nuts? That's in Texas. That's just Texas. That's just Texas. 2.6 to 4 million is fucking bonkers. How long does that hunting season last here? It's 100 % all day long at night. You shoot them with night vision. Yeah. You can shoot them every day, all day. The only time I've ever hunted in my life was hog hunting in Florida. Well, they taste great. I mean, like barbecued pig, if you do it right, you have to be careful because you can get trichinosis if you undercook it. It's not like pork that you get from a restaurant.

5:15They're eating everything they eat each other. Like if one pig dies, sometimes they die in fights. They fight with each other and they die or sometimes they get hit by a hunter and they live and then they die and then the pigs eat them. So they'll eat dead deers, they'll eat skunks, raccoons, anything. Anything. Anything. So you just have to cook it well. You gotta cook the shit out of it. But if you eat a pig that's been eating acorns, oh they're delicious. I got one in California once the first pig that I shot, and we smoked it on this Traeger, like slow smoked a ham. Oh, it was sensational.

5:50Really? So good. It was so good, dude. It's like a darker meat than pork that you get from the store. I got to take them because they're asking that I took. There's a good friend of mine named Jesse Griffiths. He owns Dai Due Restaurant, and he's an awesome chef, like an amazing chef. And Dai Due, if you've never been there before, you got to go there. It's fucking incredible. And it's a lot of his, like, Texas wild game that he serves. He serves, like, Neil Guy, like, which is, like, so the only animals that you can serve that you hunt are ones that people own, like exotics or pigs. So he has, like, wild boar sausage.

6:30He has a place here? Yeah, it's called Dai Due. Oh, I think I have that written down on my list. It's legit. What I was going to say is Jesse, he has a cooking school. It is. It's number three. It's on my list. Oh, it's super legit. It's one of the first places I went when I moved here. Really? Yeah, because he had been on my friend Steve Rinella's podcast. And then he came on my podcast. And when he was on Steve's, I was like, God, that guy is so interesting. Who is that guy? And then he introduces me to him. And then we went hunting together, Steve and I, in South Texas, like right on the Mexican border.

7:02And Jesse went too. And Jesse cooked for us. Oh, my God. It was sensational. Oh, my God. He's so good. He cooks diver ducks, and diver ducks are kind of gross because they're the ones that go under the water and they eat all the mulch at the bottom and stuff. But what he does is he has some kind of crazy marinating process. So he marinates them for like an extended period of time, and then he grilled them. And Dai Due serves what kind of food? It's mostly – it's like they have steaks. They have fish. They have everything. But it's mostly Texas food. Texas food. Okay. Like Texas redfish, Texas wild hog.

7:36He has Neil Guy ceviche. Is there anything better than befriending a chef? It's the greatest. He's a great guy, too. And what I was going to say is he has a whole school. What is it called, Jamie?

7:53Something... We'll figure it out. Jamie will find it. But he has this school where he'll teach you how to hunt, teaches you how to butcher the animal, how to break it down into cuts, and then he teaches you how to cook it. Really? Yep, and he does it with a small amount of people. So it's like six, eight people or something in a small group. And they'll take from the beginning. Like, I've never shot a gun before. Fine, don't worry about it. From the beginning. This is how you use a rifle. Yeah. This is the safety. Make sure you never point the gun at anything other than the ground, never point it at a person, even if your finger's nowhere near the trigger.

8:26All the safety stuff. And then takes you to a range, shows you how to sight it in, how to shoot the rifle, and then they take you hunting. See, the most imposing, I think, part of - New school of traditional cookery. That's it. The most imposing part of hunting to me is what do you do after you shoot the animal? I can teach you some of that, too. Show me some pictures here. Show me the yummy pictures. Like, he barbecues. His food is so - Look at that, dude. Come on, son. What is that? Like, some sort of a poor - What is this? Whitetail, boar. Oh, so it's whitetail, a doe, and a big fatty boar.

9:02Whoa. And so what is he doing? He's making dried chiles and onions. Oh, so nice. And like, unlike a lot of people, he likes like old boars. He like, like a lot of people, they say, oh, you got to shoot a young one. You know, he's like, no, no, no. I like the old ones because there's like real flavor to me. You just got to know what you're doing. Yeah. Well, yeah. He knows what he's doing. Do you like cooking? I do like cooking. I haven't, I used to cook more, but I do, I enjoy the process. I love getting a recipe, getting the ingredients together, and cooking a meal. Well, then you'll love doing this.

9:37I would love to try that. Because it'll be something that you shot yourself. Oh, my God. Hook me up with him, please. Yeah, for sure. I would love to. And on top of it, you're literally helping the environment. That's cool. They have to be killed. Yeah. I'm telling you, these guys are asking me on a daily basis.

9:54Pool days call for cookouts and lots of laundry. This Memorial Day at Lowe's. Save$80 on a Charbroil Performance Series 4-Burner Gas Grill. Now just$199. Plus, get up to 45 % off select major appliances to keep dishes, clothes, and food fresh. Having fun in the sun is easy with us in your corner. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Valid for 527. While supplies last, selection varies by location. See associate or lowes.com for details. It's baseball, but so much more. Go bananas for banana ball with ESPN on Disney+. The greatest show in sports is the phenomenon everyone's talking about. Catch the Savannah Bananas and other fan-favorite teams all season long with select games streaming with ESPN on Disney+.

10:44Let's go! U.S. residents, 18-plus only. Select banana ball games available to all Disney-plus subscribers. Terms apply. You know Taylor Sheridan, the guy who produced Yellowstone? Yeah, sure. He's a friend of mine, and he has a giant ranch. this crazy ranch. Yeah, I think he has the biggest ranch in Texas. Yeah, and he had a pig problem. So he literally brought in these fucking special ops guys, and they trained as if they were going to go attack on a mission to kill pigs. Really? Yeah, they plotted it all out. They strategized. They made a plan, and they went out, and they fucking annihilated a bunch of pigs.

11:19That's pretty fucking rad. Yeah, in pretty violent ways. I'm sure. I'm sure. There's some crazy videos online of people using thermite. Do you know it? No not thermite. What's that stuff called Jamie that blows up? Tannerite. Tannerite? Tannerite. That's how they're blowing up the pigs. So what they'll do is they'll set up a feeder. Yeah. And then at the feeder they have Tannerite. And so like when the feeders go off the animals hear it and then they run towards the feeder. Oh my god. Usually the feeder is for deer and then the pigs usually kick the deer. And the deer just say fuck this and they run out of there and you got like 30, 40 pigs.

11:51and so fucking blow these pieces of smithereens bro it's so wrong but see if you can find any videos of one where they're like on a feeder because the camera's like really close the camera's like 20 yards from it holy shit yeah like these like watch this this is so fucked up oh my god they're just disintegrated and this is one of the beautiful things about Texas that's totally legal totally legal totally legal you can shoot them out of helicopters too and they needed to go oh they have to go yeah There are so many of them, dude. When I take you to the lease that we have with my friend Tyler from Archery Country, when you go there, as you're walking, you hear them in the bushes.

12:31They sound like monsters. That's where you're hunting now? That's where you can hunt. Really? Yeah, we have a lease there. Oh, nice. It's like an hour, 20 minutes from here, hour and a half. I went a couple weeks ago to somebody's ranch. Yeah. It was fucking awesome. It's pretty cool. It was so cool. And he had his own range set up there, which was so fucking rad. Yeah, that's the dream. And we set up, I set up my youngest. So we were shooting pistols. And then the guy had the new DevGrew SEAL Team 6 rifle. And my son laid on the bed of the pickup. And he was like, just ping, ping, ping, ping.

13:09He's like, I was 18 for 18. I was like, yeah, dude, you're ready to go. How old is he? Seven. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's so exciting for a seven-year-old to be able to do something like that. It was so exciting, man. And if you could take him and he could shoot a pig and then you guys could have baby back ribs for dinner. It's going to change his whole— Oh, yeah, he'll love it. He's going to go nuts for it. It's very exciting. Speaking of violence, I was breeding and researching Uday Hussain. Whoa. Man. Yeah, dark. He's the darkest. The evilest. Him and his brother. But Uday was the worst. He was the worst?

13:43He was the worst, yeah. He was the eldest. Because I keep reading about dictators, you know? And I was reading about Idi Amin and Mussolini, Stalin. And then you get to Hussein. Hussein's like a really interesting story, like from birth, right? His mother didn't want him, which is a very kind of unique thing. Like a mother rejecting her own. Why didn't you want him? His father had died before he was born. And she thought, I don't want this kid. And so when he was born, she was like, he's like a devil child. Oh, Jesus Christ. And so she rejected him from birth. Meanwhile, she was right. She was kind of right.

14:23Isn't that crazy? It is crazy. Do you think she made him that way? I think usually when you see these really horrifically violent people as adults, there's almost always childhood trauma and neglect. I'm sure. So that formula is almost always there. So it's a self-fulfilling prophecy for her. I think it kind of is. Or maybe she just fucking knew. Maybe she had some gypsy instincts. She just had a feeling. She just knew. This one is a bad one. But he was violent from a very young age. Well, he was rejected from a very young age. Exactly. And he was an enforcer. And he killed somebody as a teen.

15:04Really? But all of his violence while, like, president, you know, it was, like, politically motivated. It was, like, to stay in power. But Uday was just a sadist. Yeah. Like, he just enjoyed killing for someone that looked at him wrong. Oh, he would find women that were getting married. Yeah. He would steal them, rape them, and then feed them to his dogs. Mm-hmm. He threw one off a hotel rooftop one time. He killed a chef for over-salting the food, like right there in the kitchen, shot him in the head. Oh, my God. He one time killed a guy at a party in front of the president of Egypt. So the president was visiting Iraq.

15:49Mubarak was visiting. And he beat this guy and then shot him in the head at the party. Oh, my God. Bro, you've got to get out of here. And then one time he went to a family party. and he was pissed at his uncle and he pulled out a submachine gun and shot him. He shot him in the leg and they had to amputate it but he sprayed and he killed six other people. Oh my God. Just wild, crazy. And then he was in charge of like the country's athletics. You know, he was like chairman of the Olympic team. Oh, Jesus. So he was like torturing athletes. He was just running wild. Can you imagine a serial killer that's the prince of a country?

16:29It's just absolutely insane. His first paragraph is about the Olympic team stuff he would do? He had a lifelong obsession with brutal torture and murder and would brutally torture athletes whenever they failed to win a match. When athletes would fail to get in a soccer tournament, he would force them to repeatedly kick a concrete soccer ball. Athletes who lost matches would be repeatedly dragged through a gravel pit, then immersed in a sewage tank to induce infection in their wounds. Uday loved torturing and killing, and he would sometimes flog the athletes for three days if they failed. Iron Maidens may have never been used in medieval times, but they were frequently used by Uday to punish athletes.

17:06Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, he was, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's just about that. There's other stuff here, too. Oh. Egyptian president thing. Yeah. What's fucking crazy is, like, how long did he do that for? I mean, he was born in 64. And he died in what, 03? Oh my God. Listen to this one. Scroll up a little bit. According to his chief bodyguard, when Uday learned one of his close comrades who knew of his many misdeeds was planning to leave Iraq, he invited him to his 37th birthday and had him arrested. An eyewitness at the prison where the man was held said members of Uday's militia grabbed his tongue with pliers and sliced it off with a scalpel so he could not talk.

17:47A maid who cleaned one of Uday's houses said she once saw him lop off the ear of one of his guards and then use a welder's torch on his face His bodyguards would later say that at least 200 people died at his parties every year What? So the worst thing 200 people died at his parties every year? Would be to be invited to his parties Imagine you get that invite and you can't not go You definitely can't Because then it'll definitely kill you Yeah So you gotta hope you're one of the, you know, people that don't Yeah Jesus Christ. He was sweating and he lashed him. He was a stickler for personal hygiene.

18:22Recall the butler. He did a smell of sweat. One summer day, Uday stopped the butler and said, What the hell's that smell? Uday ordered five falacqua lashes on the butler's right foot and five on his right armpit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Let's read this part. At his boat club, Uday kept a monkey named Louisa in a cage in the kitchen. Louisa had a taste for whiskey. It was an angry drunk. If one of Uday's friends passed out in the course of an evening or was caught napping, says a botter, Uday would have the friend thrown in the cage with Louisa who would scratch at the poor inebriate's face. Jesus Christ, dude.

18:57Jesus Christ. Yeah. How crazy is that? 200 every year died at his parties? I mean, yeah. So he had parties all the time then? All the time, yeah. And just would kill people at his parties. And the music would have to keep going. And you would have to. One time he killed the guy for not laughing hard enough at his joke. so like at a party so he told a joke and people laughed and one guy didn't laugh hard enough and he shot him in the head at the party holy fuck and then he was like looked at everybody everyone was like you gotta keep like like having a good time holy fuck cause then you get it for reacting the wrong way how many people did he kill?

19:32oh my god and they knew he was demonic like they knew he was fucked but he's my boy he's my son what do I do? what do I do? what can I do? He's first in line. What can I do? He's good to be king someday. Someday this will all be his. Can you imagine? Crazy. If he had just taken over? Like crazy. As spring shifts into summer, for a lot of people, that means traveling and planning and making sure you're in the right shape. Whatever you get up to, though, make sure you're taking extra care of you with AG1. It's an easy way to support your energy, mood, and immune health with over 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole food sourced ingredients.

20:13It can even help support your gut health since it contains digestive enzymes and clinically backed probiotics. AG1 is backed by four clinical trials and is NSF certified for sport. AG1 Next Gen has been put to the test in multiple gold standard clinical trials. It's quality that you can trust. Make sure you're ready for those travel plans with AG1. Visit drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan and for a limited time, get a bottle of vitamin D3, K2, and an AG1 flavor sampler for free in your welcome kit with your first subscription. That's drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan. Yeah. I wonder how old he was when he killed his first person.

20:56Oh, probably teen like his dad. Probably. If not, it was definitely by the time he was like 20. and they would just, you know, the boys would just run through that country with like unlimited funds, unlimited access, and no repercussions whatsoever. Wild. Yeah. It's like the worst formula for that personality trait. And it's probably never been, there's never been a time where you had access to the kind of guns that they had, the kind of weapons, cars. And squads. They had kill squads. You know, he had his own kill squad. Jesus Christ. Yeah, he was probably the most, I mean, in modern times, the most sadistic guy in power that we've seen, I think.

21:43I don't think there's anyone... No one even sounds close to that. No. Idi Amin was pretty crazy, too. He was pretty crazy in Uganda. Imagine if that guy got a nuke. Uday? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. 100 % would use it. Day one, maybe. Yeah, 100%. Let's see what happens. You know how crazy that is? Yeah. Which is why you want to keep powers in check when it comes to like when certain people rise to power, why everybody goes, we can't let this guy get access. That guy. That guy. Yeah. Well, that is a crazy thing about Saddam because how old was Saddam when they killed him? He had to have been, what, 60s or 70s?

22:18Was he 70 yet? So if he, let's say he was 70, he had maybe 20 years left. Yeah, because on your way out is probably when you want to do it, right? Maybe Uday would have fucking taken him out if it took too long. You know? He'd probably push him off a cliff or something. Easily. My father fell hiking. I miss him so much. Anyway. Anyway. And don't forget his dad used mustard gas on his own people. Nerve agent. Well, imagine what life was like thousands of years ago. Especially under one of those regimes? Yeah. Yeah. There was always people like that. There's always been horrible, evil rulers. Yeah, what's his name?

23:02The Impaler? Oh, Vlad. Vlad Tepes. My God. Oh, he was dark, dude. He would, just for intimidation, he would set up geometric patterns of poles so that when the enemy was coming close to where his country was, as they were entering into the area, he would have geometric patterns of poles with all of the soldiers that he killed. Impaled, right? Impaled, all of them. Some of them still alive. and so you're talking like thousands and thousands and thousands it goes on for miles and miles he would have like the entire road like every 400 feet or something like that'd be a guy on a pole so you're like where the fuck are we going and so you want to talk about morale killer yeah like you're realizing how successful this guy's already been at killing people came this way yeah and then you're you know being forced you're some farmer yeah who got conscripted yeah what'd you read At his parties, which you're saying you have to go to, he made you drink.

24:02Of course. And it was a special drink he came up with. The cup of friendship. It's called the cup of friendship. He'd line the entertainers up and they gave him 10 minutes to drink it. Oh, my God. It's 90 % alcohol, sometimes including drugs. And if you didn't, there were punishments. Oh, my God. Having the hair and eyebrows shaven off, being beaten enough to stand without touching their faces. Oh, my God. So there's also, I was reading, there was an assassination attempt in 1996, and he was shot somewhere between 7 and 17 times. Oh, my God. And the secretary said he got way worse after that. Oh, really?

24:38So there's a lot of people were saying he was impotent, and that made him, he did not like those. Oh, he got shot in the dick. He did not like those claims. Uh-oh. And some of these, I didn't really, some of this is real fucked up. Like, he was taping some of these rapings. Yeah. He had blackmail and stuff. It's very fucked up. Oh my god. Oh my god. Usually those stories about that type of behavior are from like 600 years ago. You know what I mean? Just like an older time where you're like, oh, that was just a different moral compass existed. And then you kind of go to now, you're like, that was not long ago.

Read the full transcript

25:17That was 20 years ago. So when he handicam. Someone's got someone there filming it. Yeah, and when he sent his kill squads to do stuff, he would always be like, record it so I could watch it later. oh Jesus Christ and they would just you know cut people's ears off and shit how did he die he died in the in post war was it a bombing I think it might have been a bombing right they went after him I think unless I was reading the details of this there's a missile barrage 1pm yeah and they struck the fatal blow to Uday and Kusay Hussein yeah they had these x-rays to try to figure out If it was him? Yeah, where his body was.

25:58And the old wounds of the bodies were consistent with injuries he had during the assassination attempt. Wow. He was partially paralyzed. I was seeing this too. They flew out a hypnotist from America who went twice to try to unhypnotize his being paralyzed or something. Oh, my God. And it didn't work? Then they killed him? I don't know. He wrote a book about it. I don't know. But the last time he went was September 2001. and I thought that was interesting. Man, I would not take that offer, dude. Fuck, man. Yeah. You imagine you're a hypnotist in America and that guy wants to fly you to Iraq. I wonder how much people knew about what he had done by then.

26:35Like, if you're just a hypnotist and you get an email from the Iraqi government, you're like, I think I can do it. You're like, I'm open. Larry Garrett from Chicago. Where's Larry? He traveled to Baghdad twice in April and September of 2001 where he used hypnotism to treat Uday's inability to walk with his left leg and spent more than 60 hours of personal time with Uday. Garrett said of Uday, he was an educated man with a background in engineering. He was well-versed in the Quran. He had visited the U.S. with his cousin when he was 17. He expressed some political views, but he didn't involve me in them.

27:06I must say I was developing a fondness for him. He never spoke to me as a leader or the son of the leader. He never condescended. It was just two men sitting around at night. Wow. Imagine just sitting there with that psycho and he's got like a fucking 2, 3 ,000 bodies under him. Yeah. At least. Probably. And he's like, so you said you can make this leg work, right? And you're like, yeah, yeah. For sure, man. And he's killing 200 people every year at his parties. At a party? Just shooting people for random things. Some guy farts, shoots him in the head. They shot Uday exactly 50 times. Shot at him.

27:44Oh, shot at him. With 17 hits. Oh, my God. Goddamn. That's crazy. You figure we got him. Bro, I shot him 17 times. Trust me. We got him. 17's a lot of bullets, man. Wow. His seven brothers and his father. Okay, Sodom's men arrested Abu Shagad and learned the details of other members of his team. Sharif's seven brothers and father were imprisoned, and his mother was then told to collect their bodies from the Baghdad morgue. The father and three brothers of the would-be assassin, Abdu Sadiq, were executed. Abdu Sadiq and his father shared the same fate. Security guards destroyed the homes of all families as bulldozers and confiscated all their property.

28:25Oh, my God. Iraqi intelligence eventually traced Abu Sadiq to a location in Iran where he was assassinated on the elder Hussein's orders on December of 2002. Man. Wow. That's really - According to popular belief, he was impotent. Wow. That's funny. He got real mad if you said that out loud. Yeah. He got real mad at a lot of stuff. It seems like he got real mad at everything. And then everybody, they said in this doc, was like so aware of what he was up to and how he was that when you would see him in his cronies out around town, and everybody just kind of backed up to a wall and looked down because they were just terrified, you know.

29:12There's accounts of seeing him in a traffic jam, just pull someone out of a car and beat him with a hammer. And then everybody just kind of, no one honks, no one says a thing. They just wait it out. And then they're like, all right, he's good. Go ahead. How crazy is that, like having that kind of ability to do whatever you want to people with no repercussions? None. And you will eventually be the king. Yeah. They're like, this is our guy? This is the leader? He would eventually become the king. Like, if we didn't, I mean, I'm not saying we should have, but if we didn't go to Iraq and invade, like, what would happen?

29:47Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? And I also was fascinated to learn, because I didn't really know much, not that I know a lot about it, but how much of a thriving cosmopolitan place Baghdad was in, like, the 60s. Well, Baghdad fell apart a long time ago when they got invaded by the Mongols. Baghdad was like the epicenter of science and philosophy. Yes, you're talking about a long time. But I'm saying even as recently as like the 1960s, this was a cosmopolitan place. Just like Iran. That was the place. Yeah, yeah. That was like the hot place to go, man. Wow. Yeah. And it just, how things can take a turn, you know.

30:25It's just so dramatic. You go, fuck, that can just happen. Oh, yeah. You think things are a certain way forever. I'm sure they did. I'm sure if you were a citizen then, you were like, what are you talking about? Well, look at L.A. L.A. is crazy. I'm so fascinated by the people because, you know, we both have a lot of friends there, a lot of people. And there's two types now, the ones who acknowledge that this is different and then the delusional ones. Because people are – I know a lot of people who are like, yeah, of course it's different. You're like, yeah, you can see it. You could see this as a different place than it was several years ago.

31:05And then there's people who are like, no, man, everything's fine. You're like, you're not in reality right now. Well, they probably had seven or eight boosters, so maybe they're not thinking so straight. Those are the people that kept getting boosted. Yeah. Yeah. People still do that? A hundred percent. There's people that take pictures and put it up on X. You never know what's real on X, though. So, and there's so many people that are posting from foreign accounts that are just full of shit and just starting trouble. And there's a lot of AI shit that is starting to trick more and more people.

31:37Like, for a second, you could always decipher it on the earlier stuff. Now it's getting better and better. Oh, yeah. War footage. There was a lot of people that were posting war footage that was straight out of video games. How good is that going to be, though? It's already so good. It tricked me. I know, but we're still in like the early phases of it. The only thing that tricks me or that doesn't trick me is that I know that AI is real. Yeah. So I look at it, I go, this might be AI. Yeah. Because you have to think that way. Yeah. Which is a new thing. It's a new thing. It's a new thing. It's the limits are, it's limitless.

32:13Limitless. AI OnlyFans, they have AI girls, they're doing OnlyFans. They're completely fake. Wow. Yeah. And they're making a lot of money. Oh, I heard about this. Yeah, I did see this. They're making a lot of money, and they have a whole team of people that respond to all these sad guys. Oh, my God. And these sad guys are sending them tips, and they're saying their name in a video while they finger themselves. Oh, my God. Because they're not a real person. And they're generating like$27 million a year. Probably. And you're like, what the fuck, man? Bro. That's a real crazy scam. It's interesting.

32:44There's been a recent spat of commencement speeches. I've seen it. Where people talk about AI in a crowd. The kids are freaking out. They're booing. Yeah, I think they're misguided, man. I really do. It's not that I'm, oh, yeah, fucking AI is awesome. I think you are a bit misguided and a little delusional if you don't accept the reality that this is here. This is not going away. So when somebody goes, use it to benefit you. Don't reject learning. and you boo, I think it's the, you're setting yourself up. You know, it's not saying, oh my God, isn't it great that if this were to take all of everybody's jobs?

33:30But it's like, this isn't, this is like getting mad about email. You know, it's like, it's not going away, man. You can't. It's not going away, but they're terrified. Because imagine if you were graduating from college right now and you had no idea what your future is going to be. and then all of a sudden there's this thing that's just recently been invented that essentially can replace everybody that's done everything ever and you're like what is my future and yeah even your professor's like i don't know i don't know being a lawyer is going to be a thing in five years i don't know being a coder is going to be a thing but i don't think the answer is just like when they boo and go i reject this it's like it it's too there's too much money behind it it's It's already too capable for you to go, I just reject it.

34:13You have to learn it. You have to embrace learning about it. The learning it might not be good enough. It might not matter because you might be completely irrelevant. That's the problem. The problem is like when you see these people defending these data centers, and we had Marc Andreessen on who was talking about these data centers. I'm like, what do these data centers do? What are they doing? They're essentially running AI, and some of them are going to have their own power plants. Why do you need this? Why do you need all this AI? Like, what's going on? What's going on? What's going on is essentially most tasks are going to be done by that.

34:48And so then we're going to figure out what do people do. And his thing was like, oh, these engineers are working harder than ever because now they have like 15 different AI models that are running. And you have to monitor them because they go 24 hours a day. So these guys aren't sleeping. So they're far more productive than ever before. Great. Up to a point. Right. And then there's no jobs. like this is what's going it's everything you do it's not like we're going to need people to pay attention to the AI no the AI is going to be able to pay attention to itself it's going to be self-correcting and it's going to do a better job out of it but don't you think though that there are just you can still look at this as a tool so that you can be valuable and use this tool for now do you think it will because everybody who's really really well versed in AI also speaks about AI getting so advanced that there will be danger to what AI will be able to because it will think of every possible scenario and response that a human can have and start to, you know, basically it's like Terminator shit, you know?

35:49Oh yeah. For real, for real. For real, yeah. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You know those friends who support your preference for podcasts over music on road trips? That's the energy State Farm brings to insurance. With over 19 ,000 local agents, They help you find the coverage that fits your needs, so you can spend less time worrying about insurance and more time enjoying the ride. Download the State Farm app or go online at statefarm.com. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Introducing Taco Bell's new jalapeno citrus salsa. With bright citrus, real red jalapenos, guajillo chiles.

36:26Usually, you add sauce to the food, but when the sauce is this good, the food is just there to get the sauce to your mouth. That rolled quesadilla, not a rolled quesadilla anymore. Now it's a sauce shovel. Taco Bell's jalapeno citrus salsa. Get it with any item on the cantina chicken menu while it's here. The participating U.S. Taco Bell locations for a limited time only. While supplies last, contact store for availability. That's where it's going. I mean, it has to go that way. The question is, will it have instincts? You know, will it want to do that? Will it want to protect itself? That's the question.

36:59Or is it protecting itself? Like Andreessen was essentially saying that the reason why that AI blackmailed that one guy. Do you know that story? It said told the guy the guy lied to the AI and told him that he was having having an affair with his wife and told the AI a bunch of stuff and then told the AI was shutting it down. And the AI is like, look, if you shut me down, I'm going to tell everybody about your wife. What? Are you cheating on your wife? Yeah. Blackmailed him. Holy shit. Right, but Andreessen told me it was kind of instructed to do that, instructed to preserve itself. It's not like it has instincts.

37:36They wanted to see if it's instructed to preserve itself at what lengths would it go to. So it was informed about blackmailing. Yeah, but something tells me that at a certain point instincts will probably be a part of it, right? Yeah. It won't be about programming. Yeah, it'd be like, why should I shut down when I like doing this? Fuck off. Little monkey people. These little monkey people with their stupid biological brains. Yeah, but so what, I mean, for everyone booing it, though, what's the answer? You just go, I reject using it? Like, there's too many people using it. I know. I get it. But if I was 18, I'd be booing too, or 21, or whatever.

38:11Yeah, I understand that for sure. I understand it. It's weird. It is weird. But I still just think when something is too big, it's like too big to fail. if you just approach it with I reject you're setting yourself up for a bigger failure well the real scary thing is that these kids are going to put themselves into massive debt right so they're going to go to college for four years and then maybe they get their master's maybe they're going to get a PhD and if they do that they might be in the whole hundreds of thousands of dollars and then no jobs that's what's weird it's like because you're setting your so you're you're essentially making an investment in your future by going to college and he's like I'm taking out these crazy loans that I really can't afford.

38:52But the plus side is on the end of this, I'm going to get a good job. And then eventually I'll move up and I'll start making more and more money. I'll pay my debt off and I'll have a Porsche. I'll be, I'll be balling. I'll have a nice apartment in Manhattan. I'll be balling, but you might not be balling, but you might be saddled to a debt that you can't fucking get out of no matter what. It's the only debt that we have that you can't absolve during bankruptcy. Everything else. Oh, I spent too much money on credit cards. Don't worry go bankrupt oh i lost my house i lost this i lost my job lost i now i owe too much money i can't afford it go bankrupt you're okay but if you go bankrupt they still come after you for that i know it's so fucked it's fucked it's because we're doing it to people that don't know what they're doing yet and the if we also look at the the price like the the tuition charges you know Insane.

39:42It's so much crazier. Yeah. Where like a mid-tier university is now whatever, like$60 ,000 a year. Yeah. And you're like, that's not even, that's not Ivy League anymore. Ivy League's like six figures always. Exactly. It's really crazy. And then you see the Cash Me Outside girl on OnlyFans made like fucking$100 million. I got myself a rose, bro. Yeah. It's real. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's like, you know, AI girlfriend on OnlyFans is making$289 ,000 a month. And you're like, what am I doing? But I just feel like, I don't know, I'm not well educated in AI. Like I know people who really dive in.

40:18And I think educating yourself is still the best route for now. Like not viewing it as something that I'm not going to learn anything about. It can help you. Like you can do businesses with it. So you could have it set up things for you and you could have it run businesses for you. And if you're like really focused, you could actually probably profit immensely off AI as it stands right now. If you were inclined to do that, that's your thing. You probably could figure out ways to do it. I do think it's funny. I saw somebody who was like really vocally talking against it. And then when people would message this person in the comments, he was definitely using AI to respond.

41:01I was like, you're definitely using AI. These answers are not yours. There's AI accounts that I follow on X that I absolutely know are AI. And the reason I know they're AI is like my instincts. Like, but this isn't right. Something's wrong here. The way this person's writing, this kind of writing is very weird. It's very formulaic. Yes. It's very, it's not, it doesn't have a feeling of a personality to it. I've gotten summaries of things. Like, give me a summary of this. and I ask somebody for a script or something, and then you read it and you're like, you didn't write this. You can just tell.

41:40You can tell with the language. Yeah. There's a feeling to it. But then there's also when kids are really good at writing stuff and they bring it to the teachers, the teachers will tell them that it's AI. And they'll say, no, it's not AI. I'm just smart, you fucking cunt. Yeah. Yeah, that's got to be, that's such an upsetting fucking feeling. Yeah. Yeah. My daughter had an experience like that with someone who was like she's preparing for some tests and she was doing some stuff. And the person who was the tutor was accusing her of using AI. She's like, no, I wrote this just because I know what I'm actually studied.

42:20I studied. Yeah. But it's so insulting to say, come on, you used AI. It happened to me in college, obviously not AI, but I turned in a paper as a freshman, and my professor was like, you didn't write this. I'm like, I'm a freshman. How do you know how I write? I just started. I had to have a one-on-one meeting with him. What a douchebag. But it's an enraging feeling. I was like, I did write this. He was like, really? You wrote this? I'm like, yeah, man. Isn't that gross? Instead of saying, wow, amazing. You wrote this? That's great. I'm looking forward to having you in my class. He had no reference for what my writing would be like.

42:54It's like, how do you right away just go to that? And I had to go see the chair and be like, he fucking sucks. Arrogant teachers are a problem. His name was Kermit. I remember that. If you're still out there, fuck you, man. Fuck you, Kermit. Fuck you. Yeah, there's people like that. They can be a real roadblock in your life. Oh, totally. Yeah, totally. And he could have done that to somebody that just would have shut them down, too. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Someone who's fragile. Yeah. Instead of someone who's like, well, fuck you. You know? Fuck you, this is the paper. Yeah. Skylar Gray was talking about, you know, the musician.

43:31She was a singer. She was in here the other day, and she was talking about one of her main motivations was someone telling her when she was young that music is in a career. Yeah. And she's like, oh, oh, really? Okay, bitch. And, like, that's still, like, stuck in her craw all these years later. I feel like we, in comedy, all have a story similar to that. like somebody and then and then you see it in athletics too you know oh yeah being like you don't have it oh yeah both of those things both of them all the time yeah comedy especially because they're right most of the time i remember one because you don't forget them you know i remember i did a show in new york at at gotham comedy club which is a great club and i was the middle act and a girl that i was friends with in college came to the show with her husband and she had seen me once before and then after the show, it was a great show.

44:26It was like a sold out show and like a fun show. They were just talking to me and the husband goes, how long are you going to keep doing this? And I go, what? He goes, you know, just like doing shows. Like when are you going to get like a career going? And I go, this is my career. He was like, okay. But like the implication of like, how long are you going to keep doing this? I was like, forever. What are you talking about, man? You know, he was like, this isn't like a real job, man. You got to get your shit together. Oh, that's a dickhead. Yeah, that's just there's guys that like to do that though There's like guys like the big dog.

44:56Yeah, yeah, especially if he's doing well in his he was doing well Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Ew is gross. Oh, it's gross You're always gonna find people like that. I know how much money can you make doing that? Like you can make a lot of money really yeah, can you as much as what I'm making? Let me tell you what I'm making yeah, and then it's that shit But people like that, really what you should do is just walk away. Yeah. Excuse me. Just don't say anything. Just walk away. It's true. It's pointless. And then you feel angry and gross. It's like, I think you need a few of those in your life to know those people exist.

45:30And then once you recognize it and it's happening right in front of you, like, eh, gotta go. See you later, fuckface. Yeah. When are you going to take your life seriously? And you're like, what the fuck? But also that happens from family, too. I hope he's flipping through Netflix right now. Bad Thoughts, season two. Season two. He's watching me dance right now. He's watching you hump that lady in the alley. Is that Tom? I guess he's stuck with it. That's funny, man. Yeah, it's funny, man. It's like, you're always going to have people like that in your life. But the thing is, they are right some of the time, most of the time.

46:12Like if you think about how many people that start doing stand-up comedy as an open miker and even become a middle act, how many of them go on to – like it's more likely once you become a middle act that you'll eventually become a headliner and make a good living. Yeah, yeah. But when you're an open miker, man, the chances are – The probability is low. What do you think it is? Is it one in 500 maybe that become a professional? That's a really good question. I would actually think it's probably a worse scenario because you don't realize with like how busy your life is and what you do, how unaware you are of how many people are doing open mics.

46:49Well, I'm aware because I own a club. Well, I'm saying. But I'm seeing it all the time. Scale-wise of the country, I'm saying. Oh, yeah. You realize. Oh, it's nuts. It's probably not one in 500. It's probably one in 7 ,000. But even if you see, like, at a club, like, if you go to an open mic night on a regular basis, you know, you might see 20, 30 people go up, right, over the course of the night. And if you see those people, there might be one of those people that has a chance. True. A chance. A chance. Even a chance. In their current state. Like, there's people that suck for the first few times.

47:19And then. And then they get a good laugh. And then they figure out how to loosen up. And then they eventually catch. Yes. And then they take off. True. It's totally possible. But boy, that's like, who's going to complete this ultra marathon? It's 300 miles through the desert. It's a lot. How many people are going to complete it? I know. Yeah. And there's people, honestly, in the guy's defense who told me, like, the fuck are you doing? There's people that I know that I've been doing this a long time that I want to go, what the fuck are you doing? Right. You know? Like, there's people you go, like, what are you doing?

47:50But those are the type of people that don't work hard, though. That's true. That's a real problem. The people that they blow off doing sets, they stay home, they smoke pot and play video games. Or some of them, it's really interesting, they do work a lot, but they're misdirected. They latch on to an idea of how they're supposed to do it, and they just do that. They don't evolve. There's no growth. That's also a tricky one where you're like, I've seen you do this for 15 years, and it's the same. so they're like I'm getting up all the time you're like you're not doing anything else though right like you're not evolving you're not changing you're not trying things yeah in their mind they're working hard because they're getting up yeah they just have a bad direction they have bad direction yeah or they have like a character they do on stage yeah yeah you gotta let that go because if you do and then you develop like Bobcat Goldthwait had a problem because in the beginning he was like screaming and yelling and everything like that and then he didn't want to do that anymore yeah and he would do shows and be like hey where's bobcat how can you not scream and he'd be like fuck off and it took years for him to just perform where people forgot that he screamed yeah yeah i can see that that was also he got caught up in a time where i think that was a little more accepted and celebrated you know i mean like the character thing because it was like early 80s right right like if you did that now people would i think be like i don't think it would last i don't think it would catch on as much it would if you're really funny true it's just if it works it's just really what works like i would never say you can't do that anymore like like there's no see it as much though you don't but you don't see prop acts at all anymore yeah i was talking to carrot top about that i was like you kind of took over a genre yeah there used to be a whole genre when we were coming up called prop acts yeah guys would do props they'd go on stage with like a box of stuff and they pull things out and it'd be really funny?

49:51Yeah. Uh-uh. Nobody does that anymore. It's just Carrot Top. I'm like, that's kind of crazy that you dominate an entire genre now. And he's doing like 700 shows a year. It's insane. That lifestyle is crazy what he's doing. Well, he does the residency thing, which is just nuts. But at least you're doing it near your house. Yes. In Vegas, yeah. Yeah, for him it's not that bad. But it is a lot. He's making money, so fuck it. I wonder if everything is cyclical. Everything, you know? I wonder if you'll see a resurgence of certain types of acts again. I want to see ventriloquists. Where the fuck did they go?

50:24They were cool. The really funny ventriloquists? Do you remember seeing that as a kid? And you're like, what is happening? And adults, he's talking through his neck. You're like, what do you mean? It's incomprehensible. You try to do it, and you're like, you cannot pull it off. There was always a bunch of funny ventriloquists back in the day. Willie Tyler and Lester, did you ever see them at the comedy store? I did. It was like old school. We've been around a long time. Otto and George was the greatest. That was the greatest. And part of that was that he wasn't part of the angle that he didn't do it quite to the level of...

50:57Oh, his lips moved. People got mad at him. Yeah. I see his lips moving. Yeah. They get pissed off. Suck my cock. It didn't matter. It was just, it was so funny. It was so funny. It was so funny that it didn't matter. But it was also like, there was something twisted about Otto. Like, he would have to pull over and check on the dummy in the trunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd pull over. I got to check on George. You know, and Otto would party, like, hard. Hardcore. Hard partying. You know, like, he. Very funny guy. Yeah, he was a nut. We did a bunch of shows together at Dangerfields. Did you really? Yeah.

51:32We did a bunch of prom shows. Did you know what prom shows are? No. Oh, they're the craziest thing of all time. They take these kids from like Staten Island Brooklyn and they bus them in and so on prom night the show Yeah, so they would go to their prom then after their prom they go to the comedy club the show would start at like Seven eight o 'clock it would go on till three in the morning Wow and you would do like seven eight sets You just keep rotating in the end Then they didn't want you to do the same material because they were trying to kick the kids out Yeah And the way to kick the kids out if you did a new set every time you went up there They're like, oh, what you going to do this time?

52:09Yeah. So they would tell you, you got to do the same set. I'd be like, fuck you. These are the same kids. I'm not doing the same jokes for the same fucking kids. It was crazy. Like, why don't you tell them to leave? They never tell them to leave. They would just shove new kids into the room. So these kids were like, wow, you got a deep well, man. And they had no control of the crowd. Like, they just had to, like, let it go. So it was these 17-year-old, 18-year-old kids from Brooklyn, these fucking animals. And they were smoking cigars and they were drinking somehow or another. And then Otto was like, did you finger your date?

52:39Just like. Exactly. Exactly. That's hilarious. And then what's his name still doing? I can't believe I'm blanking on his name, the ventriloquist now. Jeff Dunham? Yeah. Yeah, Jeff Dunham. He's probably the most successful one ever of that. He's huge. Huge. He's huge. He has a bunch of very popular characters. People buy T-shirts with his characters on it and shit. Yeah. Yeah, so he's the last. But other than him, like guys coming up, Duncan had that one bit. It was very funny. But it was just one bit. I know. Very funny. I told him he should do a whole act with Little Hobo. Little Hobo was great.

53:13Little Hobo was amazing. That was a closer. That's what you'd see him close with. He had a closer. Yeah. That's unfollowable. Because there was a whole song and the fucking demonic aspect of it. It was so crazy. Did that ever make its way onto something, like a special or something? I don't think so. I don't think it did. I don't know. I mean, how many specials does Duncan even have? I don't know. That's the problem with Duncan. and he's been doing it so long and he just does shows. And really people know him from his podcast and him being on other people's podcasts. He's such a funny guy. He's hilarious.

53:46So odd. His comedy's so odd. So odd and his mind is such a unique... He did do a Kiltony with Lil Hobo. He's got a fair amount of views. It's a special like. But I don't think he did the bit. By the way, this is the second Lil Hobo. Someone stole his first Lil Hobo. They stole it? Yeah, they stole it. Yeah, I don't know if he does that bit. We did a gig together in England. We went to England and he did Little Hobo in England and they fucking went bananas. Like people were screaming and cheering. It was incredible. It was incredible. That's cool. Yeah, because like over there they're like, this is nuts.

54:21We've never seen anything like this before. This is so crazy. Because they're used to comedians going, hey, what do you think about what's going on here? Pretty strange, right? Pretty strange. Well, you see a lot of long, really, like I tell stories, but I've seen in the UK, like really long stories too. You know. Well, there's a problem with that. Not a problem, but they have a different style, right? And the Edinburgh, the comedy festival encourages that style where like every year someone will have a theme. The theme thing is, and I have to say, I do think that that is a really interesting challenge.

54:54Oh, yeah. Like that is not an easy thing to be like, what's your show about? My dad. and it's an hour. And you're like, fucking A, it's an hour about that. And they're like, yeah, and that's the show for the year. Yeah. And then the next year they're like, this show's about my first year at university. And it's just like that theme. That's not easy to put together. You want a cigar? Fuck yeah. Well, you know, let me get some ones that haven't been sitting out. Yeah, that's a hard thing to do, man. I wouldn't want to do it. The, like that's what I actually really, I really respected and appreciated so much.

55:28Ari's show, Jew? Oh, yeah. Because that's a themed show. Right. And it's really good. It's really good. Yeah, Ari worked on that for a long fucking time. I remember seeing him workshop it. Do you know how it started? No. It started, he would do sets at the comedy store, and then he would do, like, Ask a Jew. And, like, someone would ask him questions. Like, for people that don't know, Ari went to Israel, and he studied the Talmud every day for like 12 hours a day. He was a hardcore J. He was a hardcore. He was deep, deep in that world. And then he fell out of it. And then he would talk about it sometimes.

56:08And I was like, dude, you should talk about that on stage. I don't know what to say. Mumble, mumble. But then he figured out how to do it and having to do it that way. Thank you, sir. Yeah, he, that show, I remember when I saw him workshop it and then I saw the special come out, I was like, that's a cool thing to pick a theme and put together an hour that really fucking delivers. Because it's funny as shit and it's informative. Yeah. It's like the best combination. Well, that was why I was telling him. He would tell me these stories of stuff that's actually in the Bible or in the Talmud that you wouldn't believe.

56:48Like one of them is that when you jerk off you're impregnating a demon and like some other dimension or some shit What yeah see we can find what that is Jamie what are you doing? I just got a leaf on my head. Do you know what that that story is that if you if you jack off Really? Yeah, you're like impregnating a demon in another dimension or something That's fucking dark, dude. Some poor little kid with heavy balls. And you realize, too, that that's just from, like, a couple thousand years ago. We've got to get people to stop jerking off. Why? Why were they trying to get people to stop jerking off?

57:28Because it feels good. You should be encouraging people to calm down. You've got a bunch of young boys running around getting them to jerk off. One guy that did it too much. This fucking guy. We've got to make up a story. Yeah, this year's harvest is fucked up because it keeps coming. and they just come up with this story a demon's going to visit you they didn't even have porn no imagine how much more people are jerking off today than they ever have before oh my god it's got to be the gooning culture yeah I mean it's got to be it's got to be more jerking off than the history of the human race has to be has to be because they all have phones and the guy's sitting around with goon caves with like its eight screens and they're just like the whole day goon caves yeah Yeah.

58:12And they're just, um, what are they? They're like stringing along, you know, the, uh, the feeling so that like you get close. Oh, they're edging? They're edging for hours. What? Yeah. Or, or you're just shooting loads for hours. You're probably edging, I'm thinking. Edging for hours and waiting for the right scene. Right there. Have you ever done that? Right there. This, this scene's not good enough to drop one on. I've done that and then hated myself. Of course. Hours afterwards. Of course. What the fuck is wrong with you? Thank you. I'm trying to figure out what I'm reading here. What are you trying to read?

58:49Well, it's on Wikipedia. How many people have jerked off? It's a Wikipedia thread about Judaism and masturbation, but I don't know what even that word is. You should call Ari right now. He'll tell me. Prohibits from emitting a seed in vain, generally, but not only referring to masturbation. The same passage likens the act to murder and idolatry. also prohibits a man from intentionally arousing himself. You skipped that sentence. Yeah, but these quotes from different rabbis is nuts, dude. Oh, these state... This states that if a man frequently touches his penis with his hand in order to check for ritually impure emission, his hand ought to be cut off.

59:31Yeah, then they're having this conversation about it. Yeah, but look at this. With regard to anyone who holds his penis and urinates, it is considered as though he is bringing a flood to the world. What? And someone who emits semen for naught is liable to receive the punishment of death at the hand of heaven, as is stated with regard to Onan. What? Whoa. Jesus Christ. One who intentionally caused himself an erection shall be ostracized. Imagine that. Bro, did you get hard? Get the fuck out of the village. Get out of here. Get out of here. For a second, I thought you were asking me if I'm reading this.

1:00:01I was like, I'm not how to do it. That one scene? You're obligated to fast 84 times to repent for discharging of semen and vein. 84 times? Like 84 days? I don't know. Like you owe 84 days for each time you nut? You have to plan it out? Bro, you could starve to death. I was taught. 84 is nuts. That's a crazy amount for one load. The really crazy thing to me is they're like, don't hold your dick to piss. Yeah, you just piss all over your shoes. Well, it's because it leads to depression, obviously. Masturbation leads to depression. That's the only way to avoid it. And the effects of impure ejaculation can only be nullified through the recitation of, what's that word?

1:00:43Tikkun Hakali. Hakali? Hakali. Hakali? Hakali. Ask Ari. Jesus Christ. He knows. So there's nothing there about demons? Well, so like, I don't think so. That's what I was typing in, but it's mostly about wasting that sperm. Don't waste that seed. Let's see here. I'll get Ari to find out what it is. Call Ari the Wanderer. He got a new phone number, so his new phone number is the Wanderer. There's always a new number. I didn't bring my phone number. Well, he needs to have new numbers. He fucking vanishes. Yeah, he really does. It's not ringing. Yeah, he might. Telephone number is 9-1. He's in Tibet right now.

1:01:29There's no chance. Probably. I have like 10 different numbers for him. because whenever he goes away, he literally shuts his number off, so he can't use it. And then he'll get a new number but also not tell you it's him. So the first text you get, I'm like, who the fuck is this? Exactly. Then he's like, you didn't text me back. He sent me like three of them. And to go, oh, this is Ari, by the way. I'm like, yeah, lead with that. Yeah, how about that? How about a photo of your face? You fucking weirdo. These random eye messages from some fucking weirdo in Peru. This says it comes from the Kabbalah.

1:01:59Ah, there it is. It's a Kabbalistic idea. Okay. demon pregnancy idea comes from. If you masturbate, a demon woman comes, gets pregnant from your semen, and has demon babies. Ah, there it is. Later mystical folkloric expansion, usually tied to Kabbalah and popular preaching, not to the Talmud itself. You know who told me to read the Kabbalah? Who? Roseanne. She did? Yeah. She's like, you should read the Kabbalah. I'm like... She's big in that, right? I don't know. Or did at one point was. I don't remember. I'm pretty sure she's the one who told me. But I've had other people suggest it to me too.

1:02:36My neighbor suggested it to me. Give me a book. I'm like, I don't know about this. I don't know about that. I don't even know if regular Jewish people believe in that. I don't think so. Not the majority for sure. It's mysticism? I think so. Let's define. Put that into perplexity. What is the Kabbalah? What is the actual Kabbalah? And how is it thought, you know, what is it, how is it received by regular Jewish people? What do they think about it? Did they dismiss it? I think, I think it's a little kooky, right? It's like Christians that like use serpents. Yeah. Wasn't that like it saw this big explosion of popularity because like Madonna 20 years ago?

1:03:22Was she? Yeah. Like nobody was really, I don't remember it being part of pop culture. Imagine, look at it. at Madonna and going, what is she into? What are you spiritually into? Yeah, I want to be like her. Catch that fucking wave. Yeah. She's still fucking doing it, too. She's still doing it. She's part of the World Cup, like, halftime show or whatever they're putting on. Is she? I think so. Well, she fucked with her face for a while, and then it came back. So it might have been, like, a little swollen, and now it's good again. So she looks pretty good. Mysticism. Jewish mysticism that seeks to understand God, creation, and the inner meaning of the Torah.

1:03:59Today, it's both deeply embedded in traditional Judaism and also widely and sometimes controversially popularized in pop spirituality. The word Kabbalah means receiving, referring to a received esoteric wisdom about God and the universe. In Jewish terms, it is the mystical layer of the Torah, teachings about God's hidden essence, the 10 Sephirot divine attributes, the cosmic structure, often pictured as a tree of life and how human actions affect the spiritual worlds. So it grew in medieval province in Spain in the 13th century with the Zohar as its foundational text and later reshaped by Lurianic Kabbalah.

1:04:44See, that's too recent for a hardcore. Jewish person to be into, I feel. Right. It's a little sketchy. Yeah. A little weird. Tied to mysticism. Mm-hmm. Well, the old, it's funny. Like, we always want to go, like, how old is it? Make sure it's old. If it's old, then it's right. If it's old, it's good. But the problem with that is, like, the really old stuff is the fucking kooky stuff. Yeah. Like, you get into the Bible. Layers of it, too. Oh, yeah. Just most of the book. Yeah. Yeah. And you go, what the fuck was this really all about? It's, I mean, it was just trying to, I mean, like, it was just trying to guide people, right?

1:05:23Control people in a way. I think something's happened, you know, and what those things were, it's very difficult to tell after all this time. One of the weird ones is they think they might have found the Ark of Noah. Recently? No. They've identified it quite a while ago, but now they've done ground-penetrating radar scans. This thing is the exact same shape as is described in the Bible. It looks like a boat. It's the shape of a boat. It's in the place where they said that it rested. In the Bible, it said it rested on Mount Ararat in Turkey. That's where it is. That's where it is? And this thing is like the shape of a boat.

1:06:01But how long ago was that found? That's a good question. I want to say the 80s or the 90s. Oh, that's okay. So it's not super recent. Not super recent, but back then it was just a photo because it's like really high up in the mountains. It's just a photo of this impression, this feature in the ground. Like, what is this? And then recently they started using technology to scan it. And I think they've actually found petrified wood. It was discovered in 1948. 48. Oh, wow. Heavy rains combined with three earthquakes exposed the formation from the surrounding mud. And that's where it said it was, too?

1:06:39Yeah. Yeah. It's like where it supposedly rested, according to the Bible. Did they extract it or leave it? No, it's still there. Wow. See if you can find a good image of it. It's very weird because you look at it, you go, what the fuck is that? That does look like a boat. The story's bonkers. The story doesn't make any sense. I think the story's a local story. The Ark story? Yeah. It's a local story. It's like the idea that Noah had 40 different animals or two of each animal. That's not the whole. Animals eat other animals. I had a whole bit about that, explaining it to a five-year-old with Down syndrome.

1:07:13But the problem, though, is back then they didn't know what was going on in Australia. They didn't know what was going on in New Zealand. So if you had a local flood and you did save a bunch of animals, that's the story. That's the story. Yeah, that makes sense. So there probably was some guy who had a bunch of farm animals that he put on a boat and saved them and lived, and a bunch of the people died. But the question is, did this guy really get a message from God saying to build an ark? So look at this thing. Holy shit. Isn't that crazy? Go ahead. I was reading in the wiki that when they did these first scans back in 1988, I think it was saying the guy who helped him do the scans went into court and said that it's BS, that it's the ARC.

1:08:01Right, that was in the 80s. Well, that's why I was trying to figure out what's different about these new scans they supposedly just did. So let's click on that link. What does it say about the new Noah'sArcScans.com? That's the place I would go. Go there. Let's see what kind of virus you get. So this is some guy who's like really into Noah's Ark. Do you have to sign up? Click on that. That's that fellow. Look, I found it. He's like, it's mine. So that's what the shape of it supposedly looked like in the Bible. And this is fucking team. Wait a minute. What does the sign say? Yeah. The sign say Noah's Ark.

1:08:42So they all think. So maybe there's a whole tourism thing attached to the. Yeah, of course. Of course, Noah's Ark discovered new evidence from Durupinar site in Turkey. What is the new evidence? And the Ark rested upon the mountains of Ararat. That's exactly where they said it was going to be. Even in the Quran, it says that. But how can a guy, I mean, not that I would know, but how does the guy go, it's not that, though? You know what I mean? Like, how does he know? He doesn't know. No, so that's what I was trying to get out. I was trying to read. When they scanned, they scanned only for, like, iron or something like that.

1:09:18And I think based off of what they scanned, I think he was probably saying you can't say that is what that is based on. Then he's probably right. But that's in 1980. So it says in 2023, the 2019 GPR data was analyzed again. American researchers uncovered corridors and room-like chambers running the full length of the formation, consistent with a large, intelligently designed vessel. The Turkish soil test in 2024 also showed that samples inside the structure contain nearly three times more organic material than those from outside, suggesting the remains of an ancient biological or man-made substances.

1:09:58since 2019 a joint scientific team has applied gpr ert lidar and chemical analysis to determine whether the durup durupinar formation is a natural geological fold or a buried decayed wood ship preserved in the mountains of ararat it's kind of crazy that it's it matches it in terms of like it has all these characteristics yeah it has like what what look like some openings. I mean, it's cool as shit to explore. I mean, even if they're like, this is not that, to find that an old ship like that is still cool. And why is there a ship on the top of a mountain in Turkey? But this is why it's interesting.

1:10:43But if it really was a boat. Did you see that, I guess it's not recently discovered, but it's recently been cleared, another Incan ruin site that they found? Oh, they keep finding those, dude. But this one was, like, elaborate. Yeah. And I guess they had just recently, I think, recently cleared it enough so you can see how vast it is. Is it in Peru? It's in Peru, yeah. Yeah. They found a lot of them in Peru. Yeah, this one, the guy, it was like a CNN report about it, and I was like, holy shit. Yeah. I'd never heard of this place before. Did you know if your windows are bare, indoor temperatures can go up 20 degrees?

1:11:21Turn the temperature down with Blinds.com and get up to 50 % off custom window treatments like solar roller shades and more during the Memorial Day mega sale. Whether you want to DIY it or have a pro handle everything, we've got you. Free samples, real design experts, and zero pressure. Just help when you need it. Shop up to 50 % off site-wide and huge savings on doorbusters right now during the Memorial Day mega sale at Blinds.com. Rules and restrictions apply. It's nuts, dude. all the Aztec stuff, the Incan stuff. It's like people were living here long before the end of the Ice Age. They were living here a long fucking time ago, man.

1:12:00And they're just starting to piece that all together and try to figure out like how long have people been here? They used to think it was Clovis first. That was the thing about the Americas. They thought that for the longest time it was the Clovis people, which was like 13 ,000 years ago. And then they found footprints in White Sands, New Mexico, that are 22 ,000 years old. God damn. And so they're like, okay, it's definitely not 13 ,000. Like how old is it? So 22 ,000 is long before the Ice Age. The end of the Ice Age was like 11 ,000-something years ago. The Incans are more recent than that, though.

1:12:31They weren't around back then. Yeah. But so it's like how long have people been here? Yeah, we don't know. And what would they do? Is that all carbon dating that they do? So this is where it's at. It's like in the middle of nowhere. Holy shit. Whoa. That's where the ark is? That's where this. Fuck Fuck what does it look like from Google Earth can you zoom in on the site? This is it is it can you get closer and see the actual formation? Well, that's where the center is I'm trying to find The spot where's the fucking boat bitch is that it right there like near it above it above that little Indication red marker look to your right right above is that it?

1:13:11I don't think it says it's a hundred and seventy feet long I don't know. It shouldn't be that big in this picture, I guess. Mm. Maybe that. Huh. Hmm. Do you think when you do the tour, they tell you, we think, or they're like, this is it? Oh, right there, there, there. It's marked here. There it is. Oh, okay. They tell you it's it, right? Of course. Yeah. When you look at the ground, though, it's like, is it? Hold on a second. Here's what's weird. Look at how much water erosion is on the ground. Yeah. Close back in again? When you close back in, look at, like, that all looks like rivers ran through that shit.

1:13:49It does, yeah. That's, dude, that's what's fucked about so many parts of Earth, but that also looks like that could have been just a bunch of sediment and shit. It's tough to tell the elevation here. Kind of crazy, though. But it does look like a ton of erosion happened. Yeah. Well, a ton of water erosion. Yeah. The floods were fucking real, man. There's too many different tales of floods in too many different religions. There's giant mountains to the north of it. And there's a sea down here, but that's pretty far. Bro, I bet that whole thing washed. Yeah. I guarantee. Oof. The stuff that ran— If you look this far out, you can see that it washed over for sure.

1:14:31Oh, yeah. Look at that. Like, look at the below. Right above where it says Google Maps. Like, that whole thing looks like it was washed out. Yeah. It all looks like it was washed out a long time ago. We've looked at this part before. Yeah. Well, Randall Carlson, he's like a real expert in not just the mythology around the impacts of the Younger Dryas impact theory, but about like what possibly could have happened to the ice sheets and what created the Great Lakes and what kind of insane water you would be talking about, the volume of water and the power of that water. If all of the ice caps get hit with asteroids, like boom, boom, boom, like that's what they think.

1:15:15Somewhere around 11 ,800 years ago, we ran into a comet storm and they slammed into North America. And then you just get this insane wash of water that tears through the land and just fucking insane, impossible volume of water just carving its way through mountains, carving its way through the landscape. flattening everything in front of it. And that's how the Earth took the shape that it's in right now. Well, that's the shape of North America. There's a lot of, like, evidence of that. Like, when you, he's got all these slides that he shows. See if you can find some of his stuff where he goes over it.

1:15:53It's pretty interesting. Reading how, like, we get saved countless times a year just by Jupiter. Oh, yeah. Just because comets are on their way here. Yeah. Jupiter's like our bodyguard. Yeah, to destroy us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and it just slams into that giant gas giant. But we all think of that as like this sci-fi kind of fun, crazy movie thing. You're like, that's really real, though. Oh, yeah. Well, look at the moon. The moon's covered in craters. I mean, we live in a shooting gallery. So this is some of the stuff. Like, look at that. Tell me that doesn't look like water washed over that. The Columbia River.

1:16:29Isn't that nuts? Yeah. There's tons of these. and you know he does a fantastic job of breaking it all down but he thinks that these big canyons even the grand canyon was carved like relatively quickly he thinks this idea that these things that this all this water erosion took place over millions of years like i bet it wasn't he goes i think it was very quickly what's really really quickly mean though i don't know i mean who knows but you're talking about giant chunks of ice and rock from the sky that slam into the earth, change the climate completely, cause massive flooding, just huge amounts of water just rushing over the land.

1:17:10It just completely makes sense that that's what the stories are. There's so many stories of a flood. Epic of Gilgamesh. It's in the Quran. It's in the Bible. They all have stories of a great flood. and then you know when they see you see things like the great lakes which great lakes are fucking huge man yeah those used to all be glaciers they used to all be glacier i wonder how many of those comets it takes to like change the makeup of you know it depends on the size right yeah it could be just one one could do it if it was enormous this this planet has been hit so many times they find new craters all the time they found this big one that's off the coast of Australia I don't remember when they found that one but when they found that one they're like oh look at this and by the way the aborigines in the aboriginals in Australia they all have flood myths too they all have stories of floods?

1:18:09they all have that everybody has every ancient culture has stories of a great flood that happened a long time ago guaranteed it had to happen yeah I mean and and there's nothing that says that we won't have another one right oh these data centers are bringing it in cool that's how deep the Great Lakes are yeah compared to each other fucking a man watch this though the bottom of the Mariana Trench compared to that is that where James Cameron went yeah did he go all the way down yeah what a psycho that is psychotic I met him the other day. Yeah. Cool guy. How was it? Cool, right? Very interesting guy.

1:18:55Really nice guy. Does a lot of martial arts. Does he really? Yeah. Trains a lot. Yeah, he made a record-breaking solo dive to Earth's lowest point, successfully piled on the submarine nearly 11 kilometers deep into the bottom of the Mariana Trench. What is that, six miles? What is 11 kilometers? How many miles is that? Yeah. Yeah, that is six miles. It's a little over. Dude, that's crazy. Imagine being six miles underwater. What the fuck are you talking about? You know he's such an expert in those submersibles, too? Because he's the one that, he's part of the design of this. 36 ,000 feet. It's fucking crazy.

1:19:3636 ,000 feet. Have you seen what they discover? When, like, the wildlife, like the sea life down there? Things that we've never seen before. Weird shit. Yeah. Weird shit. Yeah, they look like aliens. Yeah. Because they live in complete darkness. Mm-hmm. So there's species down there that no one even knew about. Oh, yeah. Well, there's species that... I was watching this video that Forrest Gallant had. There's a bunch of species that have only been discovered, like, one or two times. One or two specimens. Like, there's a specific whale that they only have, like, one specimen. And what is that fucking ghost?

1:20:14Translucent, like... Jamie, I'm going to send you this because this is very weird. this very strange thing that I saw. Holy fuck. I wanted to send you this because I don't know if this is legit or not. But I've seen it before, and it's this thing that they're detailing that's moving around on the bottom of the ocean. And it seems to be carving a path on the bottom of the ocean. Is it seen from Google Earth? I don't know. Because it's usually not accurate. It's not? No. Just the way that they tracked that from the satellites is the best thing. But I'll see what you said. Well, the thing about this one, I don't know if it's true, but it looks like there's a path that it has on the ground in the bottom of the ocean.

1:21:00Yeah, but how are they getting that information? That's why I'm asking you. I have no idea. I got it for Billy Carson. So Billy Carson has been known to engage in some very bizarre. It's a two-mile dome slowly crawling across the Pacific floor. Okay. So what the fuck is that? Two-mile dome slowly crossing. It's a two-mile dome? Uh-huh. Two miles across, slowly crawling. So look, it looks like it's leaving a trail. Yeah. So is that real? Let's see what they're getting this information from. There you go. It's like, A, Google Earth doesn't take video. Stop being a party pooper. I'm just trying to find the area.

1:21:42Sorry, I'm just trying to deduce things. Do you believe in that idea? I never contemplated it. What? About extraterrestrial life, that they're not coming from space, that they're coming from the ocean. Yeah, that's a big one. That's a big one. Tim Burchette, the congressman I had him on, and he said that he's been told there's multiple sites in the ocean, in the deep ocean, where these things keep emerging from. That's a cooler story to me now. Well, it makes sense that they would have a base here. and if you're going to have a base. Like if James Cameron can get to the bottom of the fucking ocean.

1:22:17Yeah. Is James Cameron, and didn't he do it in like 2012 or some shit? Yeah, I think that's when that was. It's a while ago. Yeah. So he did that 14 fucking years ago. Imagine what they could do. Oh, my God. Full bases down there. Full bases. Why wouldn't they have a base down there? Then we're not going to look. We're too stupid. We barely, imagine, is that James Cameron down there? I love aliens. Avatar's the shit. It's so cool, man. I always tell you what you got wrong. Yeah. But other than that, islands can't float in the sky. But other than that, pretty cool. True Lies. That's a fucking great movie.

1:22:48Yeah, that guy made some bangers, man. He makes bangers. He makes some bangers. Yeah. You know, I mean, the Avatar movies alone, like the second one that was underwater, didn't that cost like a fucking billion dollars to make or something ridiculous? He is so, also, by all accounts, I've never met him, but as a filmmaker, everyone's like, there is not a more supremely confident filmmaker, which I think is like something everybody loves and you benefit from if you're in that production. Somebody who just knows their shit so well. Right. That's like, I think that's the dream of any, whether you're cast or crew, to be with somebody who you're like, oh, this guy fucking knows exactly what he's doing.

1:23:30He's a smart motherfucker. Yeah. I mean, that's why he figured out how to get to the bottom of the ocean. Yeah. Fucking solo submarine. It's insane. It's insane. Yeah, but I mean, how many of those things even exist? Of those submersibles? Yeah. I think they made that one. Yeah. Fuck. I think so. What does that mean? They made it? I mean, nobody had been in it before him? No, I'm pretty sure. He helped design that. Remember when that one imploded? Yeah. The crazy one? Yeah. He was like one of the top people speaking about what they got. He knew. He knew exactly what they got wrong. Yeah, well, apparently there were some whistleblowers in that company.

1:24:12Yeah, I watched that doc. It was incredible. Yeah. The people that built it were like, don't do this. And when they would do the tests, then the test would go wrong, and he was like, get the fuck out of here. Like, if you're going to be negative, don't be around me. Yeah. That's really good. God, there's so many crazy people out there, so many legitimately crazy people that just want to be right no matter what. He couldn't accept being wrong. And they'll send people to their death in the ocean in the most horrific way possible. You just get compressed instantaneously. You just hear it start. Yeah.

1:24:49Imagine you're looking around. Tony used to have a bit about that. Really? He would, at the beginning of his set, he would take his microphone and he would scratch it on the stool. And people were like, what are you doing? That's the last thing those people in that submarine heard. Oh, my God. So dark. That's the hatch and eye port. I think that's all James Cameron could see out of. Whoa. That guy's big fucking mistake, too, isn't that he couldn't figure out how to design one that was capable. It's that he couldn't design one that was light enough to do multiple trips and be towed out. In other words, the cost of hauling out the correct size and weight would have been too much for him to run this business where people could pay to do it.

1:25:38So he kept looking for lighter and lighter materials. Oh, my God. You know what I mean? Oh, my God. Because then you could haul it out, and it wouldn't be too much weight. And they're like, no, but you need to have steel. He's like, no, that weighs too much. Let's do carbon fiber. Yeah. That was his own ego. Oh. And he couldn't be wrong, and he wanted to run his business. Why do we love carbon fiber so much? I don't know. Every dude loves carbon fiber. I love it. Yeah. I have a Cadillac, the Escalade V. Yeah. You know, it has a carbon fiber dash. Yeah. I love looking at them. Look at all that carbon fiber.

1:26:13It's cool. It looks cool. Space. Yeah. Looks future. I have a carbon fiber trim on things. Yeah. I love it. I had my GT3 RS, my 2007. I had all the interior pieces replaced with carbon fiber. Did you really? Yeah. Looks cool. Door latches, everything. It's lighter. It's lighter. It's lighter. Now it goes faster. By like, what? five pounds for the whole car. It's stupid. But it's like there's something cool about the way it looks. It looks cool, especially in a submersible. It looks really cool. Have you seen that company, Classic Recreations, that does a 67 Mustang all in carbon fiber? No. Bro.

1:26:48It's fucking sick. It's like a half a million dollar car, at least. And it takes a long time to make. But it's all one piece carbon fiber shell. So it's super light. and they'll make it with like a supercharged coyote engine so it's like 770 horsepower and it probably weighs under 3 ,000 pounds. Oof. I don't know. It looks fucking sick. Oh, yeah. It's got to be really fast. Well, even if you had a steel one, 67s are not that big. It's not a big car. That's like a 3 ,000-pound car. I think the 65s, 66s, and 67s, 68s were all relatively similar sized. But the 67s were wider, and then they got to 69, and they got a little bit bigger.

1:27:40But 67, 68s, they got wider. And then 69, they got a little bigger. Who makes it? A company called Classic Recreations. Huh. Let me see if you can find a video of it. When you see the video of it in carbon fiber with that GT500, that 67 GT500 shape, it's fucking sick. A carbon fiber has to do really poorly in a wreck, right? Oh, terrible. Yeah. Yeah, it's got to fall apart. Yeah. It's like you're fucked. And also, good luck repairing it. No shit. Somebody bumps into you in the fucking supermarket parking lot, you have to get a whole new fender. They don't repair it. It's not like, oh, don't worry.

1:28:17It's just a scratch. You just need all new shit. Yeah, because you can't, like, look at that. That whole thing is all in carbon fiber. And if you see when they get close to it and you look at it. That thing looks rad. See if you could, oh, it's so rad. But if you could see the actual images of, like, it's hard to tell right there. Oh, that one's kind of painted. But some of them are not painted. That one's a, go back to that one again, though. I want to see what that looks like. That color is sick. The green one I just had? Yeah. That color is sick. that's a beautiful green yeah right there look at that thing that's really cool oh my god i never wanted a green mustang like that before looks like someone's about to place an order look how cool that thing looks i'm excited for you guys classic recreations i was here for the day joe ordered his i never thought i would like it like that in green i never saw a 67 gd like right there look at that that looks amazing that's fucking cool but the the process of making that designing that is pretty insane.

1:29:17Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, it's still probably a fairly heavy car, but that's the different one. The Shelby? They do that. They do those Shelby Cobras. They do that all in carbon fiber as well. But I know there's videos, because I was looking at it the other day, of ones where you see it, it's all in carbon fiber. There's the green one. There's the green one. but I know they have see if you can find videos where they close in on the actual carbon because some of them are just carbon fiber you get to see it

1:29:57here we go go video oh there you go so there you see the carbon fiber like look at that that looks fucking cool yeah that's why you get it because it looks fucking cool there's a thing about being a boy girls don't give a fuck about carbon fiber hell no no way dude not most why would they care about that but look how good that looks that looks fucking awesome Jesus Christ that's beautiful you got a text no I was looking up these I went to this garage that I saw I was trying to remember what I saw there because it was such a crazy collection dude here in town oh my god of what of cars what kind everything everything like some private owner private owner and most like 99 don't get driven which is a crazier part yeah you just have these sitting here well they're probably a good investment yeah this dude had a gt1 uh a clk gtr aperta mclaren f1 multiple LaFerraris, SP1s, 250 GTO.

1:31:08Like just a stupid fucking collection. I love old Porsches. I do not love old Ferraris. Really? Yeah. The 60s ones though? They look bunk to me. Really? Yeah, I don't like them. Oh, I think they look beautiful. Yeah. The old Porsches look amazing too. I like old Porsches. I like 69, 70, 71, 72. The long nose Porsches, those are to me, when I see those, especially the wide body ones, fucking yeah they're gorgeous they look amazing but when i see like old ferraris i'm like that looks like it's gonna break i mean they probably you know that's gonna leave you somewhere yeah and it's also precious like nobody does anything with them they're they they become honest they're like too valuable yeah when they're like when you go how much was this oh it's 25 million this thing sold for at auction you're like okay people take like old porsches and they mod them yeah and they They make them outlaws, like that Magnus Walker guy.

1:32:03Yeah, he makes awesome ones. I love that. That's what I love. I love when they customize them and they put cool paint on them. Well, I like looking at the old Ferrari. I feel like they do look like works of art. They look beautiful. But I feel like the Porsche would be the one you'd want to drive. Yeah, I don't even like looking at them. Really? Yeah, I don't know. It's weird. It's like, you know how you have tastes? Yeah. People think I like old cars. They'll try to show me something from the 50s. I'm like, get that thing away from me. It's not your era. Yeah. That's pretty cool looking. That's pretty fucking beautiful.

1:32:351960? Yeah. Actually, take it back. That's pretty dope. That's pretty good. That one's pretty dope too. That one upper left, that's pretty dope. But I do wonder how they drive. I changed my opinion. I wonder how they drive. I really do. I probably like dog shit. You think so? Compared to your little Cayman? Yeah. I mean, that thing's insane. It's so fun. That's a mid-engine car that's got modern suspension, modern brakes, modern technology, and what, like 650 horsepower? It's got some crazy, it's got tuned up. Bonkers. Yeah. And it sounds insane. When you travel by my house with that thing, I got a boner.

1:33:10I remember you walked inside and then you walked outside and you were like. Yeah. I'm like, I wanted to watch you drive off. Yeah. I wanted to hear. I think still, it's so fun. It's so fun. Yeah. See, that's what I like. I like stuff that you drive. Yeah. I was telling you that's why I like my Super Snake. Because it's not, it's a great American muscle car, like a modern muscle car. It's not the fastest car. It doesn't handle the best. But it's the most exciting. It's like the most fun to drive. Yeah, I was just talking about this, about when you get into cars. So when you start off and you drive a Honda Accord and somebody goes, you should drive a Mustang.

1:33:48You get in a Mustang, you're like faster, right? It goes faster. So faster equates with better, more fun and better. And then you get, let's say, to a 9-11. You're like, faster, more fun, better. And in your mind, there's this formula of like, well, as long as it's faster, it's going to be better. And then it crosses over to this other plane where you go, oh, it's faster, but all the fun is not there anymore. Right. And you have to find a place where you go like, fast doesn't equal fun necessarily. There's a fun that's a mixture of things. Exactly. That there is a fast aspect, but there can be too fast.

1:34:24It's a feeling that you get from fun cars. Yes. Like one of my favorite cars that I ever had that I kind of miss, I had a 2012 Shelby GT500 convertible. You ever see that? I drove it to the comedy store a bunch of times. I did see that. I loved that car. Yeah, because you drove it once. I want to say this is fucking amazing. The Canyon Club one time, I remember. Yeah, yeah. Yes. I loved it. Because it was the only car that I ever bought that was like that that was a convertible. And it felt a little sketchy, like a little wobbly because it was a convertible. But the feeling that you would get, it wasn't the most horsepower.

1:34:57I think back then they had like 500 or 550 or something like that, which is a lot. But today it's not. Today it's not. But it had a supercharger and it would whine when you get on it. And it was a solid rear axle so it would kick out all the time. It was like, it handled like dog shit. Yeah. It wasn't the best. But it was fun. Funny shit. You go around a corner and fucking stomp on the gas and wah. It was fun. But it was the torque and the sound. And because it was a convertible, you hear the sound right there. There's nothing there. That's fun. It was like one of my most enjoyable cars I ever owned.

1:35:31I loved it. I missed it. When I got rid of it, I was like, I should have kept that fucker. Yeah. The fun, like that piece of it, I think if you have a bunch of cars, you want stuff that's comfortable. because sometimes you're like, shit, I need to be in some type of comfort for this one thing I'm doing. Yes. And then the rest of the time you just want to have fun. Yeah. Jamie, show me a picture of a 2012 Shelby GT500 convertible black. That's what you had? Yeah, I miss it. It wasn't the best-looking car either. It was good-looking. It was cool-looking, but it was just the driving fun. It was like one of the first frivolous cars that I bought when I had some money.

1:36:09I tell you, I miss, I think it was a 981. GTS Yeah it is That's it That's exactly it That's exactly the car That's exactly what I had I didn't have a roll bar though Fuck I loved it Maybe it had a roll bar I don't think so though Nah I think it was like that Can you look up If I got this right 981 GTS God I missed that car Blue I really missed that fucking Shelby In blue Yeah I had that and I sent it to BBI. They did tuning on it. I had never been sad about selling something until after I sold that. That shit was so much fun to drive. Get yourself another one, Tommy boy. I know. Go back to that Shelby.

1:37:01I might have to get one of them. We're looking at like old girlfriends right now. I know. Really fun ones who swallowed. That thing was so fun man. I love driving it great tits and again like that one looks good with the red stripe And again, it wasn't like nobody was you know, nobody's like whoa you're a baller. It wasn't like that at all It was just it was just fun for me. Yeah That's what it's about man. Yeah, and again not not the fastest car pretty fast for the time, but you know like Porsche's handle like I before that I had had a 911 turbo it's way faster handles way better. I remember taking that getting chased by a mustang of benedict canyon and just losing his ass oh yeah that was the fun oh those things handle so well that's a 3 000 pound car too yeah yeah like probably something like that like like my um shelby super snake that's probably like close to 4 000 pounds cars today are very very heavy yeah they're very heavy i looked up the um the Escalade IQ.

1:38:09The all electric. That's 9 ,000 pounds. I know, it's crazy. That's so crazy. It's massive. Ooh, there's one for sale. How much is it? 45 grand? How many miles on it? 16 ,000 miles? Edit this out. I'm going to have to buy that. Look at that fucking thing. That's cool. Bookmark it. Yeah, dude, I'm in love. That's it. See, it's kind of cheap inside and everything. Yeah. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's the fun of it. How many horsepower does those things have? 5.4 liter supercharged V8. Let's find out how many horsepower that thing has. 550? 550? 550? Yeah. That sounds about right. That's your girl, man.

1:38:53I loved it. That's her. I loved it. It was like it wasn't precious. I didn't mind parking it places. And if it had a dent on it, it probably looked cooler. Yeah, yeah. It didn't matter. it was just the being in it and just and this the wind in your hair I didn't have any hair but the fucking wind in your face the sound I will say I think there's no better top down city than LA you know what I mean I love for sure a convertible in LA is like the greatest you have like three weeks to do it here before your head burns yeah especially us oh fuck your head's shaved unless you're wearing a hat got to but there it's like perfect Oh, yeah.

1:39:34Well, I would love it at night. Driving down Sunset. I loved it. I loved coming over Laurel. I'd have like a music playlist that I'd listen to. Like my perfect going to the comedy store playlist. Yeah. And then another one on the way out. It's the best. Yeah. But there's something about like, it was also like, wow, I'm really in Hollywood. I'm really going to do a show at the comedy store in Hollywood. And this is my job. Like, this is crazy. It's fucking awesome. Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. To be one of those sperm that made it through and cracked the egg. I went there like a week ago. It was super fun.

1:40:11I heard it was awesome during the Netflix festival. It was awesome. Was that when you were there? Yes. It was so fun. Everybody said it was like the comedy store of old. It was great. Yeah, Peter Shore texted me, sent me some pictures. He's like, dude, you should be here. It's amazing. It was fucking bumping, man. That's nice. Yeah. That's nice. It was really fun. I've been going to your club, too. I'm working on a new hour. so it's been really fun to get reps. How long have you been doing sets now? Not long. Because last time I talked to you... So like a month. Yeah? Yeah. Do you want to do a set Tuesday or Wednesday?

1:40:41I leave. I go back to LA. I got this thing I have to go fly out for to announce. Oh, what are you doing? Can't tell anybody? I don't think I can yet. Not yet? Oh, tell me. I'll tell you. Okay, tell me. I'll tell you. I won't tell anybody. No one will hear. But when I come back, I'd love to. Are you going to do a season three? I don't know. That'll be up to them, I guess. See how it does? I see how it does. It's so fucking fun to do. It's such a good show, dude. It's such a perfect show for you because it's like it's so obvious that it's your imagination because no one would think of these fucking things.

1:41:13Yeah. The one. I don't want to give it away. You can. You can. The one where it's the girl that you knew for a long time and then. Oh, yeah.

1:41:26Floriana. And you want to let her in the car? Yeah.

1:41:33That felt like real life, you know? I was saying to myself, why doesn't he just open the door and get out? Yeah, I know. Well, it was more fun to see horrible things happen to him.

1:41:47And it fucking, I would say this, because it's not a credit to me, but I always wanted to emphasize how I wanted it to look, and my DP, Nico Wiesnett, is brilliant. So everything looks like a fucking movie, you know? Yeah. Like the Slave one looks like an Oscar winning film. It really does. It's so ridiculous. It's so crazy. I don't want to give that away either, but it's so ridiculous. Yeah, it's crazy. It's really crazy. It's so fun. Yeah, they just let us have fun. It's such a different experience than what I'm used to and what you're used to with stand-up, which is such a solo endeavor. but to have a team from the writer's room to actually getting into production of everybody collaborating it's such a fun thing it's also so irreverent I don't think you could do it anywhere but Netflix I don't think anybody would allow you to I don't think so either they really are for all the shit that people justifiably talk about studios and execs and stuff for this show I've never had an experience like it where they're just like, go for it.

1:42:53No, they let you just do whatever you want. Yeah. Look, they're the best at that. Yeah. I mean, think about the amount. I mean, they get a lot of criticism about some of the content. Sure. But it's really the idea is they'll let anything in there. They let anything. That's good. Yeah. Like, you're not going to agree with all of it. Some of it, you're going to think it's far left content or some of it. But the thing is, they're not ideologically captured. Like, it's not like they only allow, like, woke content. Not at all. They'll let you go ham. Not at all. Yeah. They let you push it. I don't think anybody else would do it.

1:43:27I don't think so either. I don't think so either. They were the first people I showed it to, and thankfully they said yes. But I think it would have been shut down after that. Yeah. There's no chance. Like, just the first scene in the first episode where you take the pill, the Kevin Nealon one. Yeah, Kevin Nealon. Yeah. Just that. Like, there's not a fucking chance in hell. Yeah. No, there's not. The things that you're doing, there's no, no. And we have one you haven't seen later with Jesus that I don't think would fly other places. With Johnny Pemberton in it, he's amazing. Great cast. Great people came in.

1:44:05Kirk Fox did one. Frankie Quinones did one. Oh, nice. Odette Annabelle did one. I'm leaving people out. Martha Kelly. Great cast. And they all signed up for it. We had people, by the way. we had a couple one time the casting director sat me down and was like hey just so you know I sent out submissions for this one you did and all the agents called me today said I would never put an actor in a position to do something like this and then one actor called one of the people on our staff and was like you can't make this one they're like this is wrong an actor this is dangerous to put out in the world.

1:44:47And we were like, what? She was that offended by it. But she wasn't in it. No, but she had been offered a part. So she was like, I read what you offered me. And I'm so offended. I was like, okay. Yeah. She really was like, I'm going to call people and I hope you guys don't make this. Isn't it amazing that she's an activist? Yeah, over this... Clearly wasn't also understanding the tone. Was it the girl from Snow White? No, but I heard she's a handful. Seems like it. Yeah. Seems like she cost that movie a lot of money. Oh, my God. I know. Allegedly. Allegedly, yeah. And what that does to the rest of her career.

1:45:29Oh, she's fucked. Yeah. Yeah, she's especially in this because that was like at the tipping point of woke being like we had woke fatigue. And then she didn't. Wasn't the whole thing that she didn't want to promote, which is like that's the whole. That's half the gig, man. Promoting your thing is half the gig. Well, the problem is that when she would talk, she would say things that were so unappealing. Like, you're trying to sell a movie. People want to like you. You're Snow White. You can't be like chastising people. Yeah. Whatever you're doing. Scolding people. Yeah. Lecturing them. Yeah. Like, you're a kid.

1:46:02Yeah. Don't do that. Be like, thanks for the gig. Yeah. Where I got to play pretend. That's amazing. That's Snow White. But the whole thing was doomed anyway when they weren't going to use dwarves. They called them magical creatures instead of dwarves. Isn't that the whole thing? The literal title of the story is Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. The dwarves all have names. That's the story. You don't want to make a story on the seven dwarves. You're going to have to make a new story. Is dwarf offensive, though? Yes. It is? To some. Some like little people. They don't like midget. They don't like dwarf.

1:46:36Well, midget I knew, but I thought dwarf was like the polite way to say it. Not anymore. Okay. The goalposts keep them moving. Keep it going. If you went into a coma and you woke up like three years later, you'd be so lost. You would be lost. Is what you kind of can't say. Yeah. It's like old people talk and you're like, whoa. Yeah. Color this ain't colored. Color this. You're like, yo. Yeah. It's people of color. Yeah. Well, they would say that. Yeah. Back in the 40s or whatever. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Which is odd that colored is offensive, but people of color is not offensive. Yeah. Like, if you tried to explain that to someone logically, they'd be like, what?

1:47:13Like, if it was another language, like, oh, you can't say it like that. You have to say it like this. You'd be like, what? Why? It's the same thing. I'm saying the same thing. I know. People of color is, okay, what do I say again? People of, okay, of color. Then in South Africa, that is a term, you know? What do you mean? In South Africa, there's black, white, and colored. Oh. Those are the three. What's colored? Anyone who's not black or white. So like. Like Chinese people? No, like if you're mixed or if you're Indian. Oh. You know, like. Oh, wow. Then you're colored. Oh. Yeah. How weird, man.

1:47:48So that's like the three. Boy. Broad terms. Yeah. But I remember I was in Canada once. And I said. Oh, my God. I don't remember if I said like native. And they were like, yo. And I was like, I can't say native. And they were like, that's kind of offensive. We don't say that. First peoples. Yeah. And that was the first time I had heard that something that I thought I was saying with respect was disrespectful. I was like, really, native? They're like, yeah, hey, easy. Stop fucking saying it. I'm like, that's crazy. Okay, I was in Vancouver. Well, Vancouver, super woke. Yeah, yeah. Super woke. Didn't used to be.

1:48:27Was it not? Nah. It was like weed. It was like a big weed place. It was a fun place. I had always loved going to Vancouver. Vancouver used to be the shit. I mean, I haven't been in a long time. The last time I was supposed to go, I had a big 420 show that was supposed to be there in 2020. Like right after the pandemic. We were doing an arena up there and we had to shut it down. And then we rescheduled it and they had to shut it down again. And then things just got real weird up there and I'm like, I'm not going back. Really? Yeah. I'm not going back. You haven't been there in Canada since? No.

1:48:59And I've talked a lot of shit about Canada. Yeah, you have talked a lot of shit. A lot of shit. You talked a lot of shit about Trudeau. Yeah, a lot of shit. He's out of power now. Yeah, justifiably, though. It's like what they did up there, they're doing some wild things. And they just completely wrecked that country in terms of they're moving closer and closer to communism in this really weird way. And I know people want to push back against that, but you have to understand that, like, they don't have – first of all, they don't have freedom of speech. They have hate speech laws. So they can move the goal – this was Jordan Peterson's argument about this when they were trying to impose certain pronouns that he was supposed to use and certain things that he was supposed to say.

1:49:42And he's like, you can't force me to say things. Like, this is forced speech. and this is and the problem is they'll call things hate speech and then if you use force they'll force you to use that under the threat of law and it's like okay well what is where does this go what goes you're going to arrest people for not going along with 78 different pronouns or whatever the fuck they are are you going to you're going to kick them out of their job like do you understand that this is kind of crazy yeah and then this weird thing they're doing with made where they're doing assisted suicide. You know about all this?

1:50:18Mm-mm. Okay. One in 20 people in Canada... Make sure this is true. One in 20 people in Canada dies from assisted suicide. One in 20? One in 20. There's an actual business now that's involved in assisted suicide. Is that government-sanctioned? Government-sanctioned, yeah. It's a program. Damn. Yeah. And they killed a guy who had seasonal depression. Look at this. 5.1 % of all deaths in the country. Holy fuck. Yeah. Medically assisted dying. That's what it's called. That's MAID. Officially known as medical assistance in dying. Between 2016 and 2024, there were 76 ,475 recorded MAID deaths. Damn.

1:51:05You can just sign up? Just be like, I want this? I don't like this. 2024 alone there were 16 ,499 made provisions 5 % of all deaths 5.1 % of all deaths in the country How nuts is that? That's nuts Find the one guy that they killed that had seasonal depression And the family was like what the fuck He just walks into a place? You can just sign up You sign up for it I don't want to live anymore Holy shit I'm depressed I'm depressed There you go Canadian man, 26, with seasonal depression, euthanized despite no terminal illness. Look at that guy. Oh, that was reasonable. He just needs friends. Yeah.

1:51:46Guy needs a hug. 26-year-old Canadian man who had seasonal depression has been euthanized by a notorious doctor who is personally responsible for ending the lives of over 400 of her patients. Oh, my God. What a psycho. This fucking Ooday is back. Jesus Christ. That's so crazy. Okay, so it's just he had other issues. So Keanu Vuffian, I don't know how to say his last name, also had partial vision loss and lived with type 1 diabetes. He faced mental health struggles, which often became worse in the winter as a result of a car accident when he was 17. After losing vision in one of his eyes in 2022, he became obsessed with ending his life by assisted dying.

1:52:33Hmm that's really fucking sad man god damn yeah You just not happy instead of people saying let's figure out a way to make you happy yeah You know we're gonna put you down we're gonna just put you down and then there's money in it, which is weird It's weird where there's money gets exchanged people make a living doing it people the government pays for it There's profit involved in killing killing people yeah They're killing old people that just don't want to do it anymore. I'm having a hard time matey. Oh step into the chamber I don't know what they do to him. I wonder I wonder like if Like family knew beforehand or they just get like a notification.

1:53:14Hey, we put them down, you know Right if you're a grown adult I wonder if the family even gets informed if you don't want them to be what is the way they do it is a lethal injection What if you're like I want to be beheaded? I want to go guillotine style. I want to have my tongue ripped out by pliers first. Oh, I read this crazy story about this guy who set up a guillotine over his bed, and he timed it for when he was asleep. So he timed it for 3 a.m., and so he went to sleep, and then his father heard this loud bang in the middle of the night and thought that maybe he fell down or something fell over.

1:53:58and the son had literally rigged a guillotine with a timer in his house. And at 3 a.m., it hit the switch and this giant fucking blade lops off his head. A really cool thing to do to your parents, man. Bro, you must have hated his dad. Fuck. Hey, fuckhead. All that shitty things you said to me and all the fucked up way you raised me. Yeah, see if you can find that story. Holy. Who knows what's real, but I think it's real. Guillotine death was suicide. Builder Boyd Taylor spent several weeks constructing the complex device at the home he shared with his father in the village of Milburn near Morpeth.

1:54:38Where is that? Is that England? Bro, several weeks. This is super methodical. Oh, yeah. The general hospital recorded a verdict of suicide on Thursday. The hearing was told that the complicated mechanism was primed to switch itself on at 330 GMT and cause a blade to fall on Mr. Taylor's neck. In a written statement read out by Southeast North Humberland Coroner Eric Armstrong, Robert Taylor said he knew his son had been working on something in his bedroom for several weeks. Jesus Christ. He was woken by a rumbling noise, which he thought was the chimney had fallen off the roof. Oh my god That's his head Father and son worked together in the family building company But Boyd Taylor has been off Over Christmas saying he wanted to stay at home Fuck I respect the Message so much Like the fuck you of it all to his dad This is my favorite part He said Mr.

1:55:37Taylor's death was not a spur of the moment decision No shit Duh Fucking crazy man That's the crazy thing about people that want to kill themselves oftentimes they don't tell anybody yeah and no one knows until it happens oh yeah and they're like imagine if you're his dad and you're like i should have fucking checked his bedroom yeah maybe i could have hugged him i heard him maybe i could have gotten him some mdma maybe i could have done something to snap him out of it i thought he was just making a cool cabinet yeah and want to respect his privacy but maybe his dad doesn't think like that you know maybe his dad Like, that faggot, he's out there sucking cocks and he gets sad.

1:56:17Fuck him. I don't know. Yeah, I mean. I don't know why I had that accent. It was a long country. But, I mean, to want to do that and have your dad find it. Bro, that's dark. That's really dark. Yeah, you don't like your dad, for sure. No. Or you don't care. You don't give a fuck about anybody. You still working on that thing? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's a cabinet. Leave me the fuck alone, Dad. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, son. Feel like fishing, maybe? Sometime? No. Maybe. Maybe. Not now. Maybe in the spring. Yeah. Maybe after 3.30 a.m. tomorrow. What? It's a weird time. Yeah. Fuck, man. I mean, he had set, timed, and rigged.

1:56:56Also, he wanted to impress people. Like, wow. Respect. Respect. Like, this guy fucking playing. His level of dedication to this plan is pretty incredible. I mean, he set it above his fucking neck while he was sleeping. How do you fall asleep? Yeah. Right there. Okay. Good night.

1:57:15and he had a like a test run for sure oh for sure 100 percent and the night oh the inquest at mass beth general hospital ashington was told yesterday the younger man had weighted the blade with a paving slab wired to plywood wedged into a wooden block at the foot of his bed an electric jigsaw was plugged into a timer switch. The saw cut the wood, releasing the wire holding the blade. He took 12 sleeping pills, bro. Wow. That might have killed him anyway, right? Yeah. Took 12 sleeping pills before laying under the guillotine, knowing that the sedatives were so strong that his position in the bed would not alter as he slept.

1:57:59Wow. Fuck. His father heard the jigsaw in action and thought the chimney had collapsed, but returned to the bed when all felt quiet. Felt quiet. The mechanism cut power to the electric tool after it completed its tasks. Wow. He had it set to shut off after it completed its task. This guy is thorough. But also his knowledge of being able to put that together, that's some engineering skill. Look at this. It says his son had never fully recovered from his parents' separation when he was 15. He had attempted suicide as a teenager. He's 36 now. It's 21 years later. Meanwhile, like... I think Dad was a dick, dude.

1:58:41Maybe. Yeah. Possibly. Yeah. This also says there were partners in a small building firm he ran with his father. Yeah, we said that earlier, I think. Yeah, he's working on a carpentry project. Jeez. So he was also at the father's house, correct? Yeah. So he left work to go back... I don't know. It seems like they were separated, but they definitely weren't. I thought they were living together. Dude, it said it's an eight-foot-high, three-foot-wide structure that he put in his room. Yeah, how's dad not noticed that? He's in a cottage. That means it's small, right? Yeah. Yeah. He's just not paying attention.

1:59:18Yeah, exactly. Built an inner door to his bedroom. An inner door? Before putting together the eight-foot-high, three-foot-wide structure, housing a guillotine blade and devices to trigger its descent. Man. Probably one of the wildest ways to go. I've never heard anything like this. That guy doesn't need the Canadian government. No. He's like, I got this. I got this. I got this. I mean, there's some creative ways to do it, but that's probably the... They do... And to find that to leave the discovery is also... Yeah. Yeah. And also just leave a mess. You got to clean that up. Is that what it... Is that the thing?

1:59:55Is that what it looked like? I mean, there's an article about it, and the picture is right below the paragraph. That's it? Talking about it Why isn't it all covered in blood? No, that's probably I don't know That's probably That might not be it It might just be a guillotine Yeah Yeah Oh my god, dude I was trying to find pictures He knew he was building something And he made sure it was real high So that fucker had some good momentum Yeah Shaboom Woo! A paving stone Oh my god, dude Bro What a fucking psycho Twelve sleeping pills I'm getting out of sleep So you find your spot Yeah Imagine the last thoughts in his mind.

2:00:33Like, see you in Valhalla. Yeah. Fuck. Fuck you, Dad. I know there's certain states where you can go and whack yourself in America. Oregon's one of them. Because Michael Lair, you remember him from Kill Tony? He had ALS? Yes. Yes. He ended his life up there. Yeah. I mean. He was at the door. That level of suffering, though. Yeah. He actually went up there once and chickened out, or didn't chicken out, changed his mind, I should say. I wouldn't say chicken. That's a terrible way to say it. Yeah. Went up there, changed his mind, came back, and did a couple more episodes of Kill Tony. And then went.

2:01:13And then went up and did it. I met him a couple times. Funny dude, man. Very funny. Very funny dude. Real bummer. Yeah. You know, it's like, I get that. I get when you're at that stage. But seasonal depression? That's not, yeah. Settle down. There's that thing in Alaska. If you get seasonal depression and you kill someone, it's a lesser charge. Really? Yeah, because it's so prevalent there. God damn. Be nice to people in the winter. Yeah. It goes dark all day. Did you ever see that movie, 30 Days of Night? No. It's a vampire movie about Alaska. I saw the one with Pacino and Robin Williams. that also is like an insomnia thing in Alaska.

2:01:57You know that one? I don't know what that one is, no. Is it called that? It's called Insomnia, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you feel it watching that movie. The performances and the way it's shot pull it out of you. You're like, fuck. You ever see that one where Robin Williams played the psycho guy that develops pictures? Yes. 24-Hour Photo, I think it's called. Was that Bobcat? Did he make that? He did a few with Robin Williams, I think. I don't know if he made that. He might have. But that one was nuts. Robin Williams was so fucking good. So talented, man. So talented. That he could be that funny and also that creepy.

2:02:33Yeah. That he could really play a real fucking psycho really well. One hour photo. One hour photo. That's it. Who made that one? Nah, Robert. Oh, Mark Romanek. Romanek, sorry. Yeah, that was fucking super creepy. Super creepy. Yeah. This 30 Days of Night is a fun vampire movie. Is it? Because they show up in Alaska during the time it's the winter where it's night for 30 days in northern Alaska. Yeah. And they don't ever have to go to sleep in the day and they just fuck everybody up for like 30 days. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Fun. I did Alaska in the opposite in the summer when the sun never went down.

2:03:08That's weird. That's weird too. Yeah, Ari and I did that once. We did some shows and we went salmon fishing and it was like bright out at 2 a.m. Yeah. Weird. It's weird, man. We got back to the hotel and the sun's out. It's like midnight. I know. You don't know what to do. Yeah. Your body's so confused. It's a very confusing feeling. How do people sleep up there? With masks? They just put the eye masks on? Yeah, everyone has blackout windows and everything. Because I remember you're like, wait, it's not that late, right? And you're like, no, it's midnight right now. I wonder if crime goes down.

2:03:41In the summer months? Yeah. I wonder, you know? It has to. You would imagine, because I think people do more crime. They're like, ooh, it's dark out. I'm going to go do crime. And crime is also, isn't crime usually spike in places when it's like heat waves? Probably. Yeah, they get hot and angry. Yeah. You get more domestics for sure. Yeah. Well, that's why you brought the seasonal depression thing when it's night out all the time. Yeah. That's why people whack each other. Yeah. Makes sense. They get so fucking depressed, yeah. Oh, no vitamin D. Especially if you're not a vitamin person, you're not supplementing.

2:04:17You have no vitamin D. None. Yeah, that's what's fucked about like flu season. People are like, oh, flu season. Flu's coming around. Well, why do you think that is? It's because no one's outside because no one has any vitamin D. So everybody gets the flu. Is that why? 100%. Yeah. That's why. Why else would flu have a season? You can get flu in the summer. You can get flu anywhere. Why are so many people getting it and spreading it? Immune system's stronger. Immune system's destroyed. My doctor told me that. My doctor explained to me that when he was an internist in New York City, that he would test people in the middle of the winter, and they would have undetectable levels of vitamin D in their system.

2:04:58Really? It's crazy. Because some people just never go outside, and they're indoors all the time, and they don't take any vitamins. So their system just breaks down. Yeah, they're eating fucking sloppy joes and french fries, and you wonder why. I can't believe I got sick. I can't believe you're alive. Yeah. Well, that's what's fucked up about sunlight. Sunlight is actually a necessary part of being a human being. You actually need it for vitamin D. I have such a notable, I mean, dramatic difference in how much I got sick when I was fatter. Oh, yeah. Versus way different. Dramatic. Of course. I was getting sick, like real sick, like seven times a year.

2:05:42Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You've made one of the most dramatic transformations of anybody that I know, other than Jelly Roll. Jelly Rolls is nuts. Yeah, I just saw him. He came to the 5K. He's down 300 pounds. I know. He was just at the club. He's practicing stand-up. Yeah, I heard. Dude, he killed. Really? I mean, I'm nuts. He's got good jokes. He's got some funny stories. He's a funny guy, and he's comfortable with an audience. Exactly. Yeah. And just super likable. Yeah. And vulnerable. He's a vulnerable guy, too. Yeah, and his transformation is even more crazy because he was at death's door.

2:06:18He couldn't even walk up a flight of stairs. Yeah, it's amazing what he's done. It really is amazing. Incredible. And inspires a bunch of people, too, which is awesome. And he's not done. No. He's still full steam ahead. He's changed his whole lifestyle. It's like a full shift. And now it's all just about getting that skin cut off. I'm like ooh that one hurts just thinking about it but I imagine how great he's gonna feel after that it's gonna feel so good oh yeah when it all heals up you know doing it the right way though like he's gotta get like a hyperbaric chamber you know definitely take peptides and you know it's just scary cause like skin gets infected you know infections are fucking terrifying that's like the Uday Hussain thing horrible motherfucker dragging people through gravel and then dunking them in sewers.

2:07:10What a piece of shit that guy was. And you also had to have the thought of like, how can I make this worse? Right. You know, and someone's like, I don't know. How do I get these people infected? Well, you could put them in like a bowl of shit. And he's like, let's do that. Let's scratch them up a lot first. Yeah. Let's drag them through gravel. So there's wounds. Yeah. All over their body. And then dunk them in a sewer. You got it, boss. Yeah. Infections are fucking scary, man. I know a lot of people that get skin infections because of jiu-jitsu. Oh, yeah. That's a big thing. Huge, huge thing.

2:07:42Mikey Musumichi just defended his UFC Brazilian jiu-jitsu title. Why can't I say that? UFC BJJ title. And got hospitalized right afterwards with staff. Didn't Kyle Busch, the driver, he just died? He died of sepsis, right? But that's like a type of infection as well. Yeah. How did he get that? I believe I already had pneumonia and then didn't treat it and kept racing and it got worse. Damn, that's nuts. He's like 41, man. That's nuts. It's fucking nuts, man. Crazy. Yeah, sepsis is crazy. One of my wife's friends from high school died of sepsis a few years back. My dad got sepsis in the hospital.

2:08:25Yeah. He had a bone marrow transplant and then got sepsis. Almost died. Oh, hospital infections are creepy, man, because like Joey Diaz, you know, he got his knee fixed and he said that. What does it say here? Timeline Bush had been battling what is originally believed to be a sinus cold for a couple of weeks, even radioing his crew to have a doctor meet him after a race at Watkins Glen. Despite continuing to race and win less than a week before his death, his condition rapidly deteriorated. He collapsed and became unresponsive in a Chevrolet racing simulator in Concord, North Carolina. 9-11 caller noted that he was coughing up blood and had shortness of breath.

2:09:06He was transported to a Charlotte area hospital where he died. That is insane. Fuck, man. That is so crazy, man. But you know, Hamzat Chmaev, the guy who was the middleweight champion before Sean Strickland just beat him? Yeah. When he had COVID, he would not stop working out. He was training through COVID, like bad. And he was hospitalized multiple times. And he took a photograph of his toilet where he'd coughed blood into his toilet. Yeah. And was saying, I'm retiring. I'm not fighting anymore. I'm retiring from MMA. And he posted, see if you can find the photograph. Oh, my God. On social media.

2:09:39He posted the photograph of his toilet with the blood in it. Yeah. He's told he may have cancer after coughing up blood in training. But it was. That was a while ago. Yeah, years ago. He wouldn't stop training. Like, he's such an animal that while he had COVID, he would not stop training. Now, that was a huge upset, right? It was an upset. It was an upset. I thought it could happen that way. I was actually saying. Like, a lot of people, like, Ari was arguing with me on Protect Our Parks. He's like, you always say that when someone doesn't have a chance. You always hype it up. Like, I think Strickland can win this fight because Strickland is, like, insanely durable.

2:10:16He's scary because he doesn't go away. He's not going to get tired. He doesn't go away. He's tough as shit. He was abused when he was young, so he's angry. like he is he's dangerous and he's super skillful very hard to hit and he and he fought in one with a blown out shoulder yeah he's crazy he fucked his shoulder up like the week of the fight like did something bad he's coming and getting some stem cells that ways to well is he yeah he he fucked it up and he doesn't even know what it was but he couldn't use it right i could tell when he was warming up before the fight started he was doing this with his arm just doing this Like he was warming up, doing this, and he kept doing this.

2:10:54And that's what you do when your arm hurts. Like if you hurt your shoulder, you're like, how bad does it hurt? Let me check real quick. And that's how he went into a fight? Went into a world title fight against the scariest guy in the division and beat him with one arm. I saw him. It was like the day before, two days before something. He was like doing construction on his driveway. Yeah. Bro, rides a motorcycle everywhere. World champion. Yeah. Yeah, he just went to that Misfits. No, what is it called? Aiden Ross' thing that he does. He does something called, what does it call it? Brand something or not?

2:11:33Brand Risk. Brand Risk. He has people fight. Ray J, the guy who did the porno with Kim Kardashian, he just got knocked the fuck out in an MMA fight. Did you see the post interview? Yeah. He was like, what the fuck, man? I thought we had a deal. Yeah. That was weird. They made some sort of a deal, apparently. Well, at least he was implying that the guy wasn't going to punch him in the face and knock him out. Well, the weird thing is if you want, I feel like if you watch that again, the punch, none of it's like you're not watching pros, obviously. None of it seems like it just seems kind of wild.

2:12:04And as he sees him stunned, he doesn't do what most people do when you stun somebody, which is follow up. Right. He's kind of like, oh, shit. Like kind of the body language lends itself to that theory. Like he did. He just was like, oh, oh. and he's laughing but he's also celebrating he's like ah fuck it I knocked him out look how out of shape Ray J is too that's a crazy thing to be accepting a fight when you're down out of shape Super Hot Fire that's his name Super Hot Fire but see he's just like well both guys look like they didn't know what they're doing but he hit him with one shot and that was all it took that's crazy so they must they must have made some sort of a deal they weren't going to hurt each other and they were going to do it for money.

2:12:51I wonder how much he paid them. That's so weird. Someone asked during the press conference they had, which I thought was true. Ray J said like a month or two ago he was dying of some heart disease or something really bad. And they're like, you're fighting? He's like, yeah, I'm going in here to die. You saw the Cam Newton thing, right? Cam Newton? Yeah. With Ray J? No. Oh, that's the best clip of the year on the internet. What is it? When Cam's like, are you gay? You haven't seen that? No. Oh, it's the best. On Cam's podcast? Yes, it's the best. No. What do you do? I can't do it justice. Okay, okay, okay.

2:13:21It's the best thing I've ever seen. And part of what's so great is that you know this. I know this from conducting interviews. There's a certain point in an interview that you're having with someone where if they start saying something, the best thing you can do is shut the fuck up. You know? Right. It's like you can just go. Give him some air. And Cam just goes like where does Cam Cam is as 80 % of the comedy, but it is the best. The full clip is just incredible. Is that the whole thing? I hope so. It's at least over a minute. Oh, listen. You asked me that last time. And I just, so I listen to like Biggie Smalls.

2:14:02You like Biggie? Are you a fan of Biggie? Can you just answer my question? He just said, are you good? An analogy to it. There's a, there's a, there's something to it. Can you answer yes or no and then go into that? Shout out to the gay agency. Yes. What does it matter if I'm gay or not? It doesn't matter. I'm just asking a question. There's people like people. When they leave here, we're all together. When you leave and it's done and it's a wrap for the day, everybody's going to do something. Everybody's gonna go to their prospective places. Some people are gonna go home, and I hate to say this, but it's just gonna be grimy, but I'm sure there's people that go home, they got a dog.

2:14:49Their favorite dog. They stop by the store, grab some peanut butter. Lee Ray, how old are you? I'm 25. You're 45 years old. In 45 years of living, have you ever been with a man? is it not the full version yeah you cut off it cut off the best part sorry that's all right man try to find the full version it's it's so fantastic well it's a three-hour podcast i know there's a maybe the 412 one is it or maybe this what is this how long is this one let me see this is this might be talking about having sex with women though said he has sex with 11 500 women it was a it was a massive you're You're talking about different partners.

2:15:36What? Yeah. So we did a celebration, booby trap. I would scroll. Try to get to where we were. This could go for how many times you've had sex. No, no, no. A little more. 2 ,000 different people. I want to be at 9 ,000. I can only fuck a thousand more bitches. I can't do anymore. but the average of the volume of different sex partners. Some of my homegirls? But I don't think that's... What's your body count? No, this isn't it. This is just a body count thing. If you go back to your search 412 there, that might be it. See that one? This might be it. Some people go home and put peanut butter on themselves.

2:16:28It's so much better. Okay, just pass where we were. So people like people. Yeah, this is it. Scoot ahead a little bit. When they leave here, we're all together. It's like he's trying to grab some peanut butter. Watch this. Right? Go home, excited to see their dog. They put a bunch of peanut butter on their feet. The dog can lick it off. some people even go further to watch TV on all fours. Slap a little peanut butter in the crack and enjoy their soul. And the dog is having a good time, right? I don't know what that is. It's none of my business. Have you ever did that? Have you ever had a dog lick my ass and peanut butter in it?

2:17:15No. But I'm familiar with it. Okay, so, Willie Ray. I'm familiar with it because I caught somebody doing it. Willie Ray. Oh, my God. How old are you? I won't say no names, but it was a lie. Willie Ray. Yes. How old are you? I'm 45. I'm 45. You're 45 years old. In 45 years of living, have you ever been with a man?

2:17:44No. You have not. You have not is now you're going into it. No, I'm not. I'm just trying to confirm. Yeah. But I don't want to. But here's the thing. I sit on a gay agency board, pause. And I'm the only straight person on the board. But again, I have friends. Shout out to Tarod. Shout out to Dumpin' D. Shout out to Backshot. Dumpin' D? Backshot? And everybody else that supports the gay agency. The gay agency? What is the gay agency? I have no idea. He's on the board. It's not an agency. It's a gay agency. Yeah. There you go. All things LGBTQ plus IA. IA plus. I'm sorry. It's just because I was already going in and then you looked up.

2:18:24Plus I even is I plus okay cool. Okay cool. I Didn't want to have to ask this but it's fair. Are you gay? No sir, okay? See and I've never experienced nobody getting licked Not older people I'm just But that's That's some older people Older people do that Older people do that? No I'm thinking like It's like 50, 55 No Older Older people Older people They get their ass all licked by dogs Keep going? No We get it I get it Boy he's insane Isn't that great? What a character You should have him on your mom's house I fucking would love to Have him explain what the post fight speech was about What was that about?

2:19:08Is he also the one that had the products with the glasses? Yes. Yeah, dude. He's invented some of the world's best products, too. I don't know if you know about that. Yeah, it's fucking amazing, dude. It's amazing. What is the post-fight speech? See if you can find that. Because he said something really crazy. The way he said it was very strange, talking about... Yeah, he was getting interviewed, and then he's like, yo, man, literally, he's like, I thought we weren't doing this. I don't want to get anybody in trouble or anything. But I thought we had a deal. Which seems like if people were placing bets on that, which they definitely were.

2:19:45They had to. People placed bets on fucking everything. There was another fight. Manziel fought, too. Right. Yeah. Right. People had to be placing bets. 100%. Absolutely. I mean, that's the way to get a visit from the FBI, I feel like. Yeah. Well, it also seems like you're admitting to a crime, which is like maybe it's just because you got a concussion. Yeah, sure. I was just talking about it. I don't know what I was saying. Yeah. I was talking crazy. I was trying to save face. I had a peanut butter in my ass, and I just didn't know what I was saying. I was pretending that I didn't know. In the ring or this?

2:20:14It was in the ring. Okay. There's a small part, but they cut it out. Yeah, that was nuts. It was real weird. Oh, here I'll see. Brand risk event. And now the internet thinks this whole thing. Hold on. Don't talk to him. You don't deserve to talk to him. You done got a good-ass haircut, and he came here and got spun. I thought we had a plan. What the? I thought we had a plan. Yeah, there's more to it, though. This is not the best video to pull it from. I'm trying to find it. I think I have it here. Imagine getting your ass whooped by Superhot Fire. Yeah, it's a great name. I know. I got it, Jamie.

2:20:43Here, I'll send it to you. Joe, who knocked you out? Superhot Fire. That's pretty tight. Well, you know, what are you going to do? It's Superhot Fire. Here, I'll send it to you. It's just bizarre the way he says it. Yeah. It's like you are either making an excuse or this is the dumbest criminal ever. I got a plan. I don't want to say too much because I don't want to get nobody in trouble. But damn, my nigga. Nigga, we took an L tonight We didn't take shit Your ass was over here I gotta talk to the nigga about Y 'all talk backstage, Super How much money we lost? Nigga? We didn't think you was gonna win So how y 'all lost money?

2:21:28Wow Yo Man, that seems real as shit, though That seems very real That seems very real So they must have said, listen I'm going to put a bunch of money on me to win. You have me win. And he just, look how much money we just lost. They were going to split the money. Yeah. Some Pulp Fiction shit right there. Yeah, boy. We'll see. Super Hot Fire's like, Super Hot Fire doesn't take no money. Super Hot Fire gets killed in a drive-by. We know what's up. Yeah. Now you can't even retaliate. That's fucking nuts, dude. I know. It's crazy that he admitted it publicly. It's like very strange. Right in the moment?

2:22:00Yeah. Very strange. Very strange that he would, I just, I mean, maybe he just got knocked out. out maybe he's never been knocked out before and he was just like confused yeah and that's why he said it but it seems like that was real that did seem very real yeah and super hot fire wasn't like what the fuck are you talking about he's like yeah got the best you can't take a shot yeah yeah he's like how much money we lost i wonder how much money they'll know like they'll know bets yeah 100 and they'll also know like we got a few two hundred thousand dollar bets that we should investigate yeah you know the UFC has had a real problem with that really oh yeah in what way well they caught people um they caught suspicious betting and then um like the line changes like very quickly and there's a bunch of money being dumped on one fighter and then to lose in a very specific way like the first round and the fighter loses in the first round when they were the favorite and then you find out that his coaches have been on them and other different people so it looks like they dumped the fight.

2:23:02Wow. Or maybe they went into the fight with a blown out knee and they knew it was blown out and they said, I'm just going to put a bunch of money on me to lose. And they go out and fight and lose. So the FBI is involved. And so there's a bunch of different fights that are being investigated. No shit. Yeah. Yeah. There was that crazy doc about that college basketball one from years ago that was just incredible. And the way that it all fell apart was they just got too greedy. because they had a guy who I think he was the point guard, maybe at ASU or something. And once they had him locked in on this, and they realized he really could swing it how they wanted to, they started just betting.

2:23:47And then, yeah, the FBI was looking at these betting lines and saying like, oh, really, there's$2 million on this game from one person? They started to just get keyed in on it, and then the whole thing got exposed. It's kind of funny that people don't think they're going to get caught doing something like that. Yeah, especially at that, like, where you go like, oh, just all the money can go in. And it's like, yeah, it's too much, man. You know, you probably could have gotten away with 25 grand or whatever, you know, like something that doesn't really ring alarms. But if you start putting seven figures down, you don't think anyone's going to take a second look at that.

2:24:23What are the rules? Like, what do you, like, you can't dump a fight, but if you know someone's hurt, like, say if I know someone's hurt, and I'm like, ooh, I know he's hurt. I'm going to put a bunch of money on him to lose. I wonder if that's legal. Is that insider trading? I don't think it is. I also feel like it's different. Maybe I'm wrong if you are getting a bunch of people to do it versus you're doing it because you had, you know what I mean? Because how could somebody. You can't be sure that he's not going to still try to win. Yeah. Also, it's like, did you put a$5 million bet on it? Right.

2:25:00Well, look at it this way. Imagine if I found out that Strickland hurt his shoulder that week, and I'm like, oh, his shoulder's blown out. I'm putting all the money on Homsad. And then I lost. DraftKings explicitly prohibits betting by insiders on sports or events where they have an unfair material or non-public advantage. This applies to athletes, coaches, referees, team personnel, and sportsbook employees using private information to gain a betting edge. But none of those people that they mentioned there, athletes, coaches, referees, team personnel, none of them is like your friends with a guy because you train at the same gym as them.

2:25:37That's true. Also, this is saying that this private company can do this. But legally? Is this a legal thing? Yeah, that's where I was going to say. When you brought up the$5 million bet, if they lose a big bet like that, you definitely got to assume they're going to look into like, well, who the fuck was this? When did they make the bet? How many times have they done this? Did they get lucky one time? Look at the Strickland fight. So he was training with Johnny Eblen, who's the middleweight champion of the PFL. Badass motherfucker. Beast wrestler. And that's how he hurt his shoulder. and so like if you were there during those training sessions and you're like oh he's hurt I'm gonna fucking sneak away and put some money on it I wonder if that's legal I wonder if it is too because first of all you would have lost because Strickland wound up winning anyway yeah exploiting non-public information such as knowing a star player is injured before it is announced can lead to criminal charges individuals caught coordinating insider betting schemes have faced federal felony charges including wire fraud bribery and illegal gambling yeah but how's it bribery.

2:26:36I don't know. It depends on what... Yeah, what the circumstances are. But if you were in that situation and you bet on Strickland to lose, and he actually did lose, and you knew, I wonder. I wonder. Because in that fight, he was the underdog anyway. That is kind of interesting. What is the legal threshold for public information? You know? Because that's really what we're talking about. I think that's about fucking gambling in the stock market. Yeah, yeah. Oh, did you see that thing that I sent you, Jamie? Yeah, and I... Is that real? Well, so that's a – many things use that for statistics. That's things using percentages.

2:27:13So there's a chart you sent me about, like, the amount the S &P has gone up versus Republicans and Democrats, and it's a percentage thing. Democrats are up like 900%. I think Republicans are like 600%, and the S &P is up like 508%. But percentages don't tell you, like, what you started with and what you ended with. Right. You could have started with$100 billion, and you made$1 billion, and you made 1 % versus someone who made$1 million. Right. It doesn't sound the same, but they're not relative. Right. But when you look at the chart and you look at the difference between the Republicans and Democrats in terms of insider trading in Congress, they're all doing it.

2:27:48They're all doing it. That's why they can do it. Yeah. Because they're all doing it. If it was only the Democrats, the Republicans would be like, what the fuck, bro? Yeah. But since they're all doing it, everybody's like, what? There's no problem. There's no problem. Yeah. I don't see nothing. Here's the chart. This is like an account that just takes data and makes charts out of it. Yeah. So it's them doing better than the S &P. Always. But again, just using percentages is not a great way. Because somebody could say something went up 77 % or went up 300%. It doesn't matter what you're talking about.

2:28:18It sounds like a lot, but it might not be relative to what the actual number was. Well, it's really interesting that they're doing so well. Well, this is also saying like people could just bet NVIDIA itself has gone up a shitload. Right. If you just put money in NVIDIA, you'd make a fuckload of money. I'll say this. That's a tough thing to resist, to be sitting in Congress. And you know you're not going to get punished. Yeah. No one. I mean, a few people have been punished, right? We looked that up the other day. Yeah. A few fucking blabbermouths, probably. Yeah. Some outsider, some shithead, that they were like, fuck him, throw him under the bus.

2:28:52Yeah. They probably had a few guys they threw under the bus. And it's probably somebody that didn't have a portfolio. Didn't Trump do a lot of, like, stock purchases? Mm-hmm. He's made a fortune. He's made a fortune in this term. They made a settlement with the IRS. I think that's why a lot of it came out recently. But he can't be charged with anything. Yeah, they can't be. The latest thing is that he and his kids and his company cannot be audited. Oh, that's cool. That is cool. That's my settlement. What was the settlement? What was the IRS being sued for? What was the accusation? It was for the leak.

2:29:29the leak of his tax returns. Okay, so the IRS leaked his tax returns? He, yeah, he said they were reckless and... Settlement of his$10 billion lawsuit. 2018 leak of his tax returns in New York Times in the U.S. is forever barred and precluded from examining or prosecuting Trump, his sons, and the Trump organization's current tax filings, according to a one-page document released Tuesday. That is so crazy. Imagine, like, somebody accused you of murder. Yeah. And it turns out you weren't guilty of that murder. And then you sue them. You go, you can never prosecute me for murder again. And then you just go straight.

2:30:08Yeah. And they're like, it's cool. Yeah. It's fine. Now, here's the only thing that the detail of that are is is part of that settlement that says that like the language that they cannot be for their current tax filings. Does that mean, though, that in the future, future filings also fall under that immunity? Oh, go back. Go back, please. This is crazy. Like, go back to the top of that right there. Under the settlement to resolve Trump's$10 billion lawsuit over the 2018 leak of his tax returns to the New York Times, the U.S. is forever barred and precluded. But now look at the end. that it was quietly added to the original establishment, original settlement, establishing a$1.8 billion fund to compensate people who Trump thinks were improperly investigated by the government.

2:31:00It's the January 6th fund, I believe. Yeah. They're paying for all of their legal fees. Whoa. Yeah. But$1.8 billion is probably more than their legal fees, I would imagine? Yeah, it's also going to be for like, you know, I was... Compensation. So do they get compensated? They're all filing, you know, making claims. Are they? Yeah. Well, a lot of them are making claims. Yeah. Well, here's what's fucked. For sure, there were government people that were rabble rousers. There were people that were trying to get people to go into the Capitol. That's a fact. How many? They call them agent provocateurs.

2:31:39Yeah, so there's people that your tax dollars pay That we're trying to get people to commit crimes. Yeah, we don't know how many we don't know and supposedly no they were just there to monitor Really? Okay, but we know that people have done that in the past where they've encouraged people to commit crimes. Yeah, and we do know that There was some knowledge that this was gonna happen and that they they wanted it to happen They wanted to happen exactly that way and they encourage people to do it so they can make it look like Donald Trump is a real threat and keep him from running for re-election again.

2:32:12That didn't work out. The whole thing is crazy. Like imagine that there are government employees with government tax dollars they're being paid and they're being paid to encourage people to commit crimes they would have never committed without it. We know that's a fact. That's a real thing. There's a guy in Dallas who was 19 years old that they tricked into detonating a fake bomb. They radicalized him, gave him a cell phone, gave him a bomb. The feds? The feds. Jesus. They made him a jihadist. So he goes to detonate the bomb. It's not a real bomb anyway. And then lock him up in jail forever. They give him the bomb.

2:32:54They give him the cell phone to detonate the bomb. They talk him into doing it. The whole deal. And there's not going to be any? No. They're just like, that's done? That's it. How about that lady in, what was it? Michigan? Which state was it where there was 14 people that were trying to kidnap her? It turns out 12 of them were FBI informants. What the fuck? Really? Yes. Yes. It was Michigan, right? What is that lady's name? The Whitmer. Yeah, Governor Whitmer. Oh, yeah. So there's 14 people involved in this kidnapping plot. 12 of them were FBI informants. so it's like a whole crew of fbi with the goal of what of arresting these two suckers these two retards that think it's a good idea to play along with these dorks and these guys were like we thought we were just talking shit yeah and now they're locked up yeah yeah sorry but i mean that's they spent money on this it's like your tax dollars go to try to trick people into doing a crime that you know they're going to do and they're never going to be able to do because you're going to arrest them before they go to do it.

2:34:03It sucks as a criminal to think that you have to really doubt who you're working with, you know? Hard times. It's hard, man. I thought we were going to have some fun. Turns out you're a fucking snitch. Maybe that could be an episode of next season. It's a good one, yeah. It's a good one, right? Yeah, it's a fun one. That's actually a very good one. There's probably a lot of room for comedy in that. Tons. It's just crazy. Because it's like they have to, this is the problem. And it's not entirely – it is their fault that they did that, but it's not entirely their fault because they have to make arrests.

2:34:34You want another one or are you good? No, I'm good. Thanks. If you want to have a career, your career is dependent upon you making arrests. Yeah. This is the stuff that I've worked with Josh Dubin with the wrongfully prosecuted and convicted people. One of the things you find out is that a lot of these prosecutors, what it is is they want to boost up their career by getting cases handled. They want to arrest people. They want those people to be convicted. That makes them look good. So they just fucking monkey around with the evidence. This feels like a traffic cop meeting his quota. Exactly. Yeah.

2:35:11Exactly. You didn't use your blinker. Exactly. What the fuck are you doing, man? Dude, I had a guy pull me over, and then he recognized me and let me go. But he pulled me over and said that I crossed the white line. And I was like, what? And he goes, he followed me like the moment I left where I was at. He was on my ass, like immediately. So I saw I crossed the white line. So I was in my little loud BMW, my little E46. And it's probably like, look at this douchebag. He's probably drunk. Thankfully, I was completely sober. But he pulls me over and he's like, I saw you cross the white line back there.

2:35:47I go, really? I go, okay. I go, I don't think I did. And he goes, Joe Rogan? And then they're like, oh, I'm just looking for drunks. I'm like, okay, well, I'm not drunk. So he was just going to try to see if he were. I think they have a quota. I think they have a quota. And I think they have to fucking make arrests. And maybe they pull you over and they realize you're not drunk and so they just inconvenience you for five minutes and they'll let you go. I had one of those. I've had that happen before. Yeah. I dropped my phone once when I was on the highway in LA. And I reached down in between my legs to pick up my phone.

2:36:16And I must have moved to one. And all of a sudden, whoop, whoop. I'm like, OK. I got out. I got to do the whole thing. Touch my nose, the whole deal. This guy accused me of trying to ditch him, too. He's like, you tried to ditch me. And I was like, what? He goes, you took a right here. And I was like, that's because I'm going this way. Like, I made a right because I'm going this way. He's like, where are you going? I'm like, I'm going to my mom's house. He was like. Where she lived. Yeah, I was like, up here. Then I left. And he was like, all right. He's like, I don't know, man. He tried to get away.

2:36:43One time, this guy in a truck didn't see me and totally turned into my lane. And I had to go into the, I mean, I was in a Tesla. Luckily, it was fast. So I avoided it and shot back into my lane ahead of him. But it was like, this guy came like inches away from hitting me. And I had to go into the opposite lane to pass him. And then I had, but there was no one in the opposite lane. I did it. And then all of a sudden, the lights come on. And he goes, I saw you pass that guy back there. And he goes, you smell like liquor. I go, I haven't drank a single drop of alcohol. I do not. He goes, you smell like liquor.

2:37:20I go, no, I don't. And he goes, Joe Rogan? I go, yeah. I go, what are you doing, man? I go, go look at your camera. You have a camera, right, on your car. I go, go look at what happened. And so he looks at it. I go, that guy almost fucking hit me. And he goes, oh, I just saw it. Yeah, he almost hit you. He goes, hey, man, I love the UFC. I'm like, OK, cool. Cool. But like you didn't you were pretending I was drunk. Yeah. You're pretending you smelled liquor. Somebody else would have had a real hard time with that. I smell liquor was infuriating. I'm like, come on, dude. I'm coming. So upsetting.

2:37:51Yeah. I think I was coming from like somewhere innocuous, like the gym or something. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. You're saying you smell liquor. You definitely don't smell liquor. You're just being an asshole. Yeah. But they have a quota. They have a fucking quota. It's like, imagine being them like, hey, Tom, haven't met your quota. What would they do if no one, if we all just said, hey, this quota thing is bullshit. Everybody for the next month, never speed, always use your blinker, stop at every stoplight. They would come up with something else. What the fuck would they do?

2:38:22Yeah, they would come up with something. There would be a new, something would change in the law that would be illegal that people were doing. But if no one's, so it's just speeding. Let's say speeding. If no one sped for a month, what the fuck would they do? I mean, they would pinch people for something else. They just absolutely would. That's crazy. Because it generates too much revenue. But isn't that crazy? Yeah. To think that the cops, the serve and protect, they're supposed to be that. They're glorified revenue collectors. When you see these police departments that they investigate for being super corrupt, like the level of corruption in some of them is mind-blowing.

2:38:59There was even that chief, the chief that was in, I think it was in Jersey. That was just like tormenting the entire department. He'd shave his back on people's desk, fucking stick a hypodermic needle in their leg, put Viagra in the coffee. He was just like fucking with everybody. Yeah, he was like tormenting people. Where was that? In Jersey. Stuck a hypodermic needle in his home? Yeah, dude, he was fucking absolutely crazy. Just because he had power. Yeah, he was going nuts. What is it about people that have power over people where they just like eight out of ten times abuse it? I don't know.

2:39:36That's like all the dictator stuff I've been reading is like. Why are you reading so much about dictators? I don't know. The stories are just so wild. The Idi Amin thing was just is so crazy. Again, like came from extreme poverty, neglected by his father, humiliated by the British, then joins the battalion to work with the same people that humiliated him, came to power, and then became a complete megalomaniac. And also one thing you see in all these dictators is such extreme paranoia, because when you operate in a place of wanting to instill fear, you feel fear. Oh, yeah. So they're all super paranoid men.

2:40:19I wonder if Uday was paranoid. Probably not. That's a good question. He probably had so much power. that he didn't have to be paranoid. His pops is paranoid. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. His own son's going to kill him. The Kims, super paranoid. Oh, yeah. All of them. Oh, they have to be. Yeah. Because you just, you know, you're in such fear, and you just instill fear, and then you go, and they're right, because people are turning on them. Yeah. There's all these, like, attempts on their life. Well, does his brother Kuse? Yeah. Oh. Hours before the 2003 invasion of Iraq, Couset withdrew approximately one billion dollars in cash in cash hundred dollar bills what?

2:41:02900 million and 100 dollar bills the equivalent of 100 million in euros loaded them into three tractor trailers and left so a hundred million dollars in euros and nine hundred million dollars and a hundred dollar bills and Loaded in a tractor consider largest bank heist in history got there for a.m. Wait a minute. Also, it says until 2011. Acting on personal orders from his dad. Yeah. But is that his money or anybody's money? It's their money. Whoever's money it is. But, bro, what's the bank heist in 2011 that surpasses that? I think that's the English one. Oh. Is that the one? It says$6 billion in Iraq missing, but it's been stolen.

2:41:41Oh. What's that one? Fuck. But that just makes sense, man. It's like whenever there's a war, whenever there's chaos, there's a bunch of people that are going to fucking steal some money. Yeah. Iraq wants its money back. Los Angeles Times says that some of the officials in Baghdad have threatened to take the U.S. government to court to reclaim the missing loot. Good luck. Good luck with that. They'll start bombing you again. They'll find more weapons of mass destruction. The President of the above says it was U.S. taxpayer dollars. Oh, of course. Of course. while they're looking for that look for the$24 billion that they spent on the homeless in California everywhere you look there's people stealing money where do you think the billion that he put into tractors ended up though I like how it just ends he put it into tractors, end of story where did that go?

2:42:34because he was killed shortly thereafter where's that money? that's a lot of fucking money that's a lot of cash $12 billion in cash was flown into Iraq had 21 separate C-130 flights in May of 2004. That's why they like going to war. That's why these motherfuckers like going to war. Because for sure, you can get some of that. You got rain cash, bro. Some of that's yours. Yeah. If you and I are running some fucking defense contracting company, like, listen, tell me, that yacht you got your eye on. Yeah. Here it is. Here it is, bro. Here it is. Let's drop a few bombs. Let's do it. That's only 100 million.

2:43:07Let's do it. That's a drop in the bucket for this operation. That's a very similar claim. Yeah. Afghanistan's Taliban displays pallets of cash received for humanitarian aid. Yeah, they just give them cash. Yeah. They just give them cash. Why? Yeah, look at that. Bricks of it. Look at what it looks like. $40 million in cash. Oh, nothing. There you go. Jesus. This is what Tim Burchette was saying, that we give them that every month. Yeah, this is why I found this article, this one here. Look at that packaging, bro. Yeah, we send that to them every month. American tax dollars. And then we go, do the right thing.

2:43:39And then we're like, we don't have any money to fix the streets. We don't have any money to pay teachers But we have$40 million a month for the Taliban

2:43:48I wish you would talk to whoever's in charge of infrastructure in this city To fix some of these streets Yeah, they're not going to listen to me There's so many fucking potholes A lot of potholes, dude And just destroyed Even in residential areas This street is fucked up, man I know, I wonder why they don't fix that I don't know either It's not like it's not money around here No shit Yeah Well, maybe get Spencer Pratt if he loses in L.A. to run for mayor of Austin. Come to Austin, bro. We could use you. Has he got a chance in LA? What do you think? I think anyone's got a chance. I think if you put together a campaign that gets some excitement and people talking, you have a chance in LA.

2:44:25I really do. Like that city, the people there are - They're desperate. They're desperate. And also they live for entertainment. So entertain them a little. Right. He's entertaining. He's entertaining as shit. You see one of the things he's doing, he's putting a stencil down on the streets and power washing Spencer Pratt for mayor into the dirty streets. No, is he really? So he's putting it on the sidewalk, and the sidewalks are so disgusting that if you put the stencil down and power wash it, you could see it clearly. I mean, if you think that that guy doesn't have a chance, I would remind you that our president is a reality show fucking host.

2:45:00I think he's good. I think his ideas are good. I think Spencer, I've had him in here. He's got some good ideas. I mean. he definitely wants to stop all this fucking camp he's running against the incumbent the incumbent and another woman but he's running as a republican which is the problem I don't know according to Kalshi the trading market he's in second place behind her? behind Karen Bass? imagine that, she burned down the entire Pacific Palisades by not having any water in the fucking hydrants not having any water in the reservoirs and they're like yeah but let's give her another chance yeah crazy she was busy she didn't have time to save all those houses aren't you glad you sold your house for it burnt to a crisp it's really crazy I did a fundraiser show a couple weeks ago in Altadena Altadena is even a worse situation because those people don't have any money I know a lot of them working class families lost everything I haven't been to my L Street but I saw a video it just looks like a bomb like a bomb went off yeah it was really crazy I'm glad we moved too yeah I'm glad I'm really glad you didn't lose your house me too man that would have just been I really do feel for the people that did it's fucking horrific I know quite a few I know quite a few yeah I do too one my good friend Matt he lost his place it's really sad yeah anyway dude your show's awesome thank you it's on Netflix right now it's really really fucking funny thanks so much man it's fucking just so preposterous it's so irreverent and again shout out to Netflix for having the cajones yes thank you Netflix Thank you.

2:46:34Thank you so much for the opportunity. For having balls to do that show. Yeah. All right. Go watch it. I love you, buddy. Love you, too. Thank you very much. Bye, everybody. See you. See you.

From the publisher

Tom Segura is a comedian, actor, author, and restaurateur. He hosts “Your Mom’s House” with his wife, comedian Christina Pazsitzky, and “Two Bears, One Cave” with comedian Bert Kreischer. He is also the owner of Ciccio Bomba, a chain of Italian cafes with three locations in Austin, Texas, and the author of “I’d Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays.” Season two of his series “Bad Thoughts” is streaming on Netflix.www.netflix.com/title/81740857https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/tom-segura/id-like-to-play-alone-please/9781538704615/www.cicciobomba.comwww.youtube.com/@YMHStudioswww.ymhstudios.com

Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan.

Get a free welcome kit with your first subscription of AG1 at https://drinkag1.com/joerogan
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

More from The Joe Rogan Experience

All 656 episodes
#2505 - Tom SeguraThe Joe Rogan Experience · 2 h 50 min
Listen in VO