#2539 - Protect Our Parks 17

24:13Chubat? Till now. Chief prosecutor said rejected the Mapuche allegation and reporting saying prosecutors did not consider the claims against Israelis a credible lead. Okay, but now here's the question. Did they really just give that land to Israel? Did they give 100 hectares or whatever it is? That's fake? They throw Israel in everything. They really do. Everything leads back to Israel. Is it all fake? I mean, it's just everything I look up online says this. So this is, if it is fake, if it is fake, this is a perfect example of what we're talking about. It's a perfect example where they create these stories.

24:56Yeah. And, you know, there's probably something to this. What is that? There's stuff on Twitter that says it. Okay, what does it say on Twitter? I mean, I don't know that it's accurate or what these accounts are, you know. Right. What does it say, though? I don't know. From Shadow Intel X. Yeah, so I don't know. Definitely true. Definitely real. Yeah, it's but let's so yeah, so here it is. Look at this guy. Is that a bot? Dr. Sam Yousef PhD PhD DPT 760 ,000 followers it might be real What does it say Argentina exposes Israel takeover plan and the government is in on it? Argentinian presidential spokesman just blew the lid on the secret.

25:34What does it say though? Click on show more protected rural conservative land can now be sold to foreign private entities once a fire passes through it so this is the problem with what i was reading in this story was someone design it can be sold once a fire has passed through it so what they do emojis in it they lit it on fire it's legit well once you have emojis it knows you care i like that argentina copied our white house press conference room though that's pretty cool that's cool we were there that's pretty yeah we We were in there doing press conferences me and Shane and O 'Connor. Yeah, it was good.

26:09Yeah, it was pretty nice It was in a fucking tracksuit. You guys were in the White House press conference? Well, we didn't know we were gonna go So we were just we were walking around DC and then just one of Shane's CIA friends was like, do you want to come in? Yeah, they're like POTUS isn't here. He's in Tennessee at a fucking UFC event Yeah, so they were like no snipers are here. Yeah, like I'm sick like POTUS. They're like POTUS isn't here He's in Florida at UFC. So that was the Miami UFC? That's my guy. That's my president y 'all He's not working. He's at UFC. How wild was the UFC at the workouts?

26:38Yeah, how was that? That was wild. That was insane, right? That was like fun. I'm so glad I talked to you into doing that. Yeah, me too. You had to go. You were wrestling. I'm like, this is only going to happen one time in human history. I was like, I shouldn't fucking go to this. You were wrestling with it. There was motorcycles going over the pool. That's what got me. I was laying on my couch after I canceled. I said yes and canceled like four times. And then the last time I canceled was the day before. And then I saw they were doing fucking dirt bikes on the front lawn. and I was like, I gotta see this.

27:08I should see this. We were at the cellar and he was like, what should I do? I don't think I should, I don't want the heat. I'm like, yeah, don't go. But I don't want to tell him, let me do what to do. I'm like, no, no, don't go. Everyone agreed with me. Every time you were, you're like, yeah, I see. I was at the cellar and I was like, I don't feel like fucking dealing with it. Also, Warren, Iran, this is a crazy time to be like, I support this. Everyone had a great time, but Nate. Nate was my favorite. Nate had a good time. Well, not later. Yeah, but he doesn't care. He's not reading it. That was a fake one, too.

27:39It didn't affect his ticket sales at all. All these people saying that they canceled. Fuck off. He sells out two fucking stadiums a night. It's all bullshit. It was the same newspaper writing 10 articles. Yeah. Well, it's just they'll go after anybody who's even remotely connected to that White House. Also, it's the fucking fights. It's just sports. It's just fights. Stop saying shit. The fights were great. I was so happy to see that Gaethje fight. Gaethje's the best. It was one of the coolest fights. The perfect ending. And he beat a guy who most people thought was the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world.

28:08Really? Yeah. Depori is a monster. Two-division world champion. Depori is one of the most skillful guys that's ever fought in MMA. He's fucking good, man. Oh, yeah. But Gaethje pulled it off. Pulled it off in front of the whole world and then did a backflip off the fucking top of the cage. Wow. With the White House behind him. Nice. And landed in the middle of the cage. Yeah, I saw the dirt bikes. I saw the practice flyovers. I was like, I got to see these fucking flyovers. Yeah, I just was. It was so sick. When we were talking, I'm like, this is never going to happen again in human history. Apparently, Teddy Roosevelt had fights on the lawn.

28:40Really? Back in the day. No, he fought with his wife. Well, unless you've got a time machine, bitch, you're never going to see it again. It's funny seeing people weigh in. They're like, it's cage fighting. And it's like, it's human cockfighting. I'm like, bro, it's not a new sport. You're like these left-leaning people just discovering it. So Biden did some wild things on the White House lawn. What did he do? They have Easter egg hunts. They had fun things. Well, you remember they had the trannies with their titties out? Something like that. That's also fun. They had a bunch of trans ladies with their tits out.

29:08Really? Yeah, what's really funny, they took pictures for Instagram with their tits out in front of the White House. And then people were saying that the cage fight is desecrating the lawn. Like, come on, guys. Dude, if you have a lawn that big. Both things are ridiculous. You should have barbecues. But at least one thing is cool to look at. One thing is fun. And the other one is the UFC. Those both seem fun. I was trying. Yeah, I was trying. He set up the dunk. Those all seem like a fun time. You should have fun with that lawn. Fighter jets ruled. The fights ruled. Bro, the fighter jets were so close to each other.

29:40That's what freaked me out. I was like, if one of these fucking - Did you hear about the terrorist attack? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was crazy. I did Bennington's podcast the next day, and he told me about it. Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh. Yeah, dude. It was elaborate. They had a guy pushing people towards one way, and then another people would - I don't know. They had drones, bombs on drones. Yeah. I don't think that crowd would have gone the direction whoever did that. Right. would want them to. That crowd would have been sprinting directly at whoever was shooting. Same fucking crowd. It was the craziest group of people.

30:10They would have stomped that dude to death. My section that I was sitting in was like 10 Medal of Honor winners. Oh, God. They were waiting for this. They were like, please let there be a sniper, dude. UFC fighters and soldiers. Well, did you see there were snipers all over the roof? Yeah. Did you notice that? Yeah. There were snipers all over the rooftop. There was guys everywhere. It was so heavily protected. It was crazy. Because I was like I don't want to do this. I was really like I don't want to be a part of this This is gonna be too much of a zoo too crazy. I don't like it for the fighters.

30:39You have to fight outside What if it rains what if it's too hot what if it's this what if it's that yeah? I thought so part of me was like but then I was like shut up you sent me that video When you were like practicing yeah, like when you guys were doing like a walk the day before you sent me He's like come on bitch. Don't be a pussy I was like he's right on being a fucking pussy Fuck it's just it's never gonna happen again. It was so insane me and DC and John Anik were just looking at each other going What the fuck is this? What a backdrop. This is insane. We're on the lawn of the White House.

31:10But TMZ tried to get you They got it 20 meters deep What do you think about saying Michelle Obama's man? I was like I didn't fucking like it And I was like, but he's funny The funny thing is people were saying I'm entertaining while you make the statement. Joe Rogan didn't say anything when he said that. I'm like, the guy just beat the fuck out of Derek Lewis. What am I going to do? I'm scared. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? Hey, don't do that. And then he throws me. The problem with it was on paper, hilarious. Hilarious? To win a fight on the White House lawn and then call a former first lady a man.

31:43If you wrote that down, I'd be like, that's funny. Well, the thing is, he says Michelle Obama's a man every time I interview him. Really? Yes. He said it the last time I interviewed him, too. When I'm sitting there, when I'm sitting in that crowd going, this is probably a bad look. This is a weird group of people. And then the guy wins and goes, Michelle Obama was a man. I was in the crowd just like, you fucked up. You ruined it. You're doing exactly what they said we were going to do. No, he did a smart thing. I mean, it's very rude. Smart thing. It's very rude, but it's a smart thing because we're all still talking about it.

32:15Otherwise, it's just another fight of the night. We're talking about the Holocaust, too. No, Diego Lopez knocked out Steve Garcia. No one's talking about Diego Lopez and Steve Garcia in the regular news. They're talking about this guy all day long. The next time he shows up at a UFC event, the crowd is going to go fucking bananas. And if he wins, he's a superstar and he probably doubled his income by saying Michelle Obama's a man. Yeah, but, you know. He's a fucking pro wrestling heel. Of course. I know it just validates everything that

32:54Still can't define a woman they all need to come on board But saw everyone's ridiculous the last time I went to one of these fights was so much labor with roga We went to a fight on the lawn of you remember this which one the fucking oh the playboy man Playboy headshot. It was so bad. People didn't know what they were doing. Wait, what? That was this old fucking man. I think that was Strikeforce. Was it Strikeforce? I think it was below that. I think it was even worse. I don't remember the company. You went to the Playboy mansion for a fight? Yeah. Wow. I'm pretty sure it was Strikeforce. This old magazine mogul fucking limps out in front of us like five fights in and sits down with these hookers.

33:30You know what's weird is how... No. No, no. I guess he wouldn't be left there. Playboy. What's weird is how dated the place was. What was it? Strikeforce. Strikeforce. Strikeforce. What was weird was how dated the mansion is. It's like there's an old button phone on the grotto. He was old as shit. Not just old. It's like everything's just sad. John Lovitz is still there. Everything's in the past. Cosby was there all day. Everything is like, you know, obviously it's all gone now. Did somebody buy it? Imagine if we bought the mansion and started doing podcasts out of the plane. Wait, are we there?

34:05Look at that picture. Go back up. I think we're right near him behind him. Perhaps. There you are, Ari on the right. What a weird... Imagine... He died at the right time. Better than. That guy died at the right time. Half? Because if he was alive today, oh my god, that'd come for him. Imagine what the Me Too would have been like for half. That's a documentary about him. It's pretty rough. Yeah. What a good bit about him. Is the mansion for sale? Find out if the Playboy Mansion is for sale. I think his son took, well, at least the business. His son took over the business. But they still have the mansion?

34:37Is the magazine even going? Why would? It's like if you go to some movie star's fucking house, and they were a movie star in like the 80s, you go to their house, and they're in Malibu, and you show up, and their hair's all fucked up, and they're kind of drunk. Right. Okay, come on inside. What's wrong with that? Linoleum floor with like holes in it and shit. You're like, what's wrong with that? I bet Seagal's house is hilarious. Me and Norma went, we went to fucking Elvis' house. Oh, that was awesome. It was cutting edge. It was like four TVs. You could watch every channel. 100 million. Fuck you.

35:04I think we're out. That's a little high. That's a little high. Sale. Original listing price was 200 million. God. What? Do you get the whores? I mean, this is a little. It's a lot of land. The guy who makes cupcakes bought it? Hostess? A hostess guy bought it? Or ding dong. I bet he's just running around licking the floor. Yeah. Oh, God.

35:27Get that cream filling. Get all that cream and snail trail off the floor.

35:37But that area where he's at, that amount of land might be worth$100 million. Because that's like Brentwood, right? And it's a big chunk of land. They take us in shuttles up there. Yeah, you remember when he had a big aviary and there was all these birds in there and shit? Do you remember that? I don't remember that one. We were walking around. We were high. We were pretty high. Sorry, we were all right. Fuck, we took some edibles. Only you go to the Playboy Mansion and you're like, let's see these cranes. Cool birds, man. There was cool birds. Five acres. Five acres in that area is worth a lot of money.

36:1212 bedrooms, 21 bathrooms. Was there a party in the mansion after the fights? I don't remember. We weren't invited. We got out of here. We were nobodies back then. We got a shuttle. No, we didn't see any tits. No, we just saw the fights. We just went to watch the fights. We went to eat edibles and watch the fights. Joe Rogan was like, he was once on a show news radio. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. It's nice to get a little time back during the day. It's why we try to find shortcuts like shaving while showering or keeping a simple matching wardrobe so you can easily put together an outfit for work.

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37:31I think that was the Fear Factor days. Maybe early. I think it was like year one or two of Fear Factor. It was early on, man. It was early. Because this was before like Ultimate Fighter. Also, by the way, my bad on that. What? She'd be like, did you stay and look at Tiz? She'd be like, no, we left right away. Yeah, my bad, fellas. It was a bitch-ass girlfriend question. But there was no... There was no tits to see. It was really like they rented the place out. We never stayed for the end of the parties. I know. I agree. It's like they rented the place out as a location. Where you could fucking have your conference there.

38:07That's what it felt like. They sold it off, the name, little by little. Very professional. All good. Fellas. Above board. We can move on. No grotto? Nothing? I'd have to look around. Those were the days where we used to have to go to Inglewood to get our weed. Damn. We used to have to go to get it medical because it wasn't legal unless you had a medical license. So you'd have to go to Inglewood. And the place that I went to, I had to stop going there because the guy got shot. He got robbed because they only could get cash. You couldn't deposit your money because they were like, that's drug money.

38:42They shot the doctor? They shot a dude working there. A dude I knew. I was like, all right, that's it. For sale, Hugh is still alive, and you had to allow him to stay. Oh, that's hilarious. You have to live with an old man? However, the sale comes with one catch. Anyone who wants to live like Hugh Hefner will have to live with him. Whoa. That's crazy. Sales predicated the new owner allowing the 89-year-old Playboy publisher, and we assume his various playmates, to stay in the house. So you could buy the house, but he gets to stay in it. What a buddy cop show that would be. Hanging out. What a weird place you are.

39:20Some Bitcoin billionaire in Hugh. What a weird place you are in your life where you're like, I don't have much time left. I'm going to die in this house, but I don't have any money. Oh. That's not so bad. I have this big-ass house, but if I sell the house, then I got to move. Maybe I can try to sell the house and stay in it, and they know I'm going to die in it. And then they take it. It's a tough deal. You got to watch a guy die, the horniest guy of all time, die. Hospice. While you have a 21-bedroom house. You just send dirty horse to go fuck him to death Pump I know Larry Flint of the dick pump Larry left got shot.

39:54He got shot paralyzed. Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, you got shot Damn, yeah, that's why he's in the wheelchair come shot. Is this hey? Nice is he still alive Michigan yeah, he's gotta be dead. He's gotta be dead gotta be an awesome guest. Oh, yeah I thought he was still rolling. Hey.

40:20We're having a pun time. That was okay. Yeah, we missed a bone on that guy, too. Fuck. Yeah, that would have been a good one. That would have been a good one. It was a good movie, too. Yeah, it was. It was. Courtney Love was good. Yeah. Very good. Norm was in that. Really? Yeah. Look at that fat honky. What a beast. How did he get shot? With a gun. Yeah, I remember this. He was a big proponent of free speech and stuff. Big free speech guy. Yeah, what was the... I don't remember what the assassination attempt was about. See if you can find it. Crazy about that magazine. They had racist jokes galore.

40:55Oh, so racist. It was crazy. It was a highlight. Well, they weren't just racist. They were like... The sex... It was like very harsh. Yeah, it was like... Like, Jesus. Way worse than Playboy. Oh, yeah. Way better than Playboy. Aggressively bad. So what was the shooting about? Yeah. Go to Get off of images and go to all Sometimes you can just find it that way White supremacist A white supremacist murderer who shot Larry Flint Is executed They killed him in 2013 Why would he shoot him? The racist jokes are all over it He's a white supremacist, he's a racist Maybe you put up black chicks in the magazine That'll do it That'll do it So what was

41:43Fighting a misdemeanor obscenity charge, local attorney Gene Reeves was also shot on the sidewalk as both men walked back to court. When you see a pop-up, doesn't it make you not want to buy whatever that shit is forever? Yeah. Like, fuck you. It makes me want to block the whole page. Yeah, like, you make me press that X, you savage. Fuck you. Whew, this nicotine's a bad idea. Terrible, right? I'm like, uncomfortable. That's me last night at 2 in the morning. This sucks. I can't relax. They're so strong. You're running out. Maybe the booze will help, but I'm flying, and I can't. I got, like, beautiful mind numbers over my head here.

42:23Hey, dude, you got rid of your shitty watch. What happened? Hey, I got the Omega. Nice. Look at that, fatty. It was free. Thank God you got rid of that dumbass fucking timer. It died. It finally broke. Oh, really? I was going to kill it when you weren't looking. You didn't throw it out, did you? No, I got it. I know you kept it. It's a coffin as well. I know you kept it. I kept it. I love that watch. It's a little Timex tin. I think it took nine years. I would have been actually sad if you threw it out. Yeah, yeah. You gotta put it on a wall. Where'd you get that watch? I did some show in Cleveland.

42:53There's a guy named Teddy, and he has a watch show. And if you do the show, you get a watch. That's better than the fucking free bat you get. Yeah. Teddy Baltasari? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, the guy on YouTube? Yeah, Bert did it. Tom did it. Yeah. He's really good. He's good. Any watch you want. So I went with Omega. That's cool. Nice. Beautiful watch. Can I get this wet or no? Oh, yeah, 100%. All right. Yeah, definitely. No doubt about it. Okay. Which model is that? Is that a chronograph? Speedmaster. That's what I have. I just got this one for my birthday. Hey, look at that. Can you get me a beer? My wife got me this one.

43:25Nice. I love the one. R.E.S.P.ing already. It's a great. Joe. Joe. Joe. Oh, man. That was quick. Yeah, Omegas are my favorite. That's a fun watch. You got to empty your blabber. It's the best thing I own. Just watch. Omegas and I like Seikos. I really like grand Sekos and Sekos. Sekos, Japanese, right? They never fuck up. They last forever. You can fucking run them through the mud. They got the quartz. They never mess up. No, no, they're all, it's all automatic. American serial killer and white supremacist who murdered 16 people between 78 and 1980, either admitted to or was convicted of shooting 22 people across 10 U.S.

44:01states. Whoa! Which he drifted between while likely supporting himself with money from bank robberies. Whoa! Whoa. That's got to be a movie by that guy. Whoa. What a wild motherfucker. He's shooting interracial couples. Imagine being trapped in a motel with that guy. Yikes. Hey, what's up, man? I'll tell you what's up. Just you and him in a room. Shit. You're waiting on somebody to come pick you up. So how do you know Charles? Hmm. I don't. I don't. Hell no. Yeah, the nudie magazine industry is all over. Yeah, it's over. We got OnlyFans, free porn. Well, you know what? When I hear something funny, When I was a kid, they weren't allowed to show erections.

44:41That's a good rule. I like that. That's for the fellas. Yeah. That's for the fellas. I don't know what they thought because you could see full pussy. Like a girl could spread her pussy lips. Like that was the thing about Hustler versus Penthouse. Penthouse or Playboy rather. Playboy was classy. Playboys, the ladies, you'd see the bush, but that's it. You didn't look deep into the mouth of the dragon. But in Hustler, they were spreading that motherfucker open. and they would spray it down with water, get it all glistening, and you'd see the bottom of her dirty toes. That was Hustler. Looks like the predator mouth.

45:16Yeah, they open wide, but you couldn't see cock. And if you did see cock, it had to be limp. Really? Yeah, yeah. When I was a kid, we used to find magazines in the woods. And the first magazine that we ever found was Guys and Girl. I remember it was a guy who was supposedly a male prostitute that had sex with a really hot, rich lady. and so he shows up at her house like there's all these different photos next thing you know she's on the bathroom sink and he's eating her box and the whole thing and then when there's sex scenes his dick looks like a drowning victim they pulled out of a lake his dick is just like and I'm like this guy's right there he's like why aren't you hard this is crazy it was almost like to keep people from getting too crazy about porn because you have to think like incremental steps Porn wasn't available unless you went to a place.

46:08You used to have to go to a movie theater and sit down and pay money. Sit down with a fucking raincoat on with a bunch of other freaks. Sit next to Pee Wee Herman. You're all getting arrested. And Fred Willard. So then when I was in high school. He got popped in there. VHS tapes came along. But at the same time where VHS tapes where you're watching actual porn, the magazines still weren't allowed to show erections. Well, erection is aggressive. It's scary. It's coming out of the screen. But a pussy is nice. It's welcoming. It's inward. It doesn't change shape. I don't know why they couldn't. I don't know what rationale to keep people from seeing erections.

46:44It's kind of crazy. Limp Bizkit. But you can get in trouble if a guy had an erection and you put it in a magazine. It's crazy. Really? It was in the 80s. Yeah. They're like, we got to do something. Here's some rule. But it just shows you how retarded our society was just a few decades ago. That's what's really weird. You ever listen to Lenny Bruce? Not that long ago. What he got arrested for? Oh, yeah. It's so tame. So tame. Really? Yeah. He's like, oh, a bunch of knuckleheads up there. Lock him up. Get him off. Get him on the fucking stage. Cops waiting just for him to say anything. Well, they had obscenity laws regarding words.

47:17Like, if you said fuck, you can go to jail. Wow. Yeah. Okay, so that's in the 60s. So Nate would never get arrested. I'm in the 80s, and you couldn't show boners. You know, that's what I'm talking about in high school. You couldn't show boners in magazines. Good. Yeah. That's what we're talking about. Bring it back. Why do you want boners so bad? You want Sharia law. That's what you want. Get rid of the boners. Also, the magazines are coming back, dude. For real? Every one of these conservative states you can't fucking jack off on the internet. I know, right? Even VPNs won't work sometimes. What are you talking about?

47:47It's the new Mason-Dixon line. You go right on north, you're back. Same thing in London. What? I've heard. I've never tried to get on one. I've tried to use them. If you've got the right kind, you're fine. VPNs work great. I know, but it's this weird north-south divide. It's dumb. It's stupid. It's also they've done the THC thing. Here's what Texas doesn't understand. You will fuck this place up and you will turn the whole thing blue They will kids will turn on you if you tell them they can't smoke weed They know weeds not killing anybody which one's blue this place. No. Oh, what's blue? Democrat oh red is Republican.

48:21Shut up. Come on. How do you not? He's pretending he lives in England now Which one's donkey? He's like Alex Baldwin's wife Oh, yeah, I was right that how you say cucumber I've been gone life

48:39Alec Baldwin's wife was pretending she was Spanish that was you

48:49She went to college was like that bitch speaks English She must be so fun It's like your boy mom Donnie Well she's super hot He hit the old fucking code switch Oh he did What was it? It's just him code switching like crazy An old one? Yeah He's good at it He can go full Indian Of course Sociopath They had this guy running in Ecuador Who was running for the indigenous party And he was like They showed him five years earlier He's wearing a business suit Now he's got like a ponytail And fucking all this shit What was his code switch? Switching to Ugandan accent. I'm Johnny's Ugandan? All right, let's hear it.

49:26Let's hear it. You're going to love it. As a music supervisor for Queen of Katwi, and as we know, music is almost the last string that brings the picture together. It tells the story. It's the tie-in of the whole story. How was that for you? I mean, being anywhere involved with the music will be a daunting task, but to be a supervisor at that it must have been a mammoth task yeah so um i i actually created a playlist um for for mira who also happens to be my mother uh you know nepotism and hard work goes a long way so in february i made a playlist even before shooting of a kind of a sound that the film could have what are we listening for we can find better ones but you never hear him speak I've never have heard it he doesn't sound anything like that he hit the old fucking I was like I don't know it's crazy 100 % speak so the real question is what's his real accent wait that oh so that's not he's American no no he's from now but now he's full but now he speaks completely clear American I did the right thing the right thing yeah lose your accent you should know those people in England since you live over there now bro I'm learn I'm trying to learn tell him hey hey hey you don't talk like this you don't sing like this.

50:44I make funny people to their faces. As they're like, we have to do this. You sound so fucking stupid. I used to have a bit about it, though. The Beatles, they don't sing like that. Nobody sings like that. Cindy Lauper comes it up. You talk like that. People from Manchester or Liverpool, I don't know what you're saying. Sometimes I'm interviewing Patti Pimblitt, I'm like, I don't know all these words. Kyle Legacy, you have to watch his lips. Bro, his fight was insane. Those were the greatest submissions I've ever seen in my life. It might be the greatest submission of all time. And he did it to that guy, Ben Wasson-Denis, who's a submission expert.

51:19Catch him in that guillotine on the first shot, and he called it. He said, he's going to shoot for a takedown, and I'm going to choke him unconscious. When he comes out to where's your head at? Yeah. That's what he's talking about. He's so wonderful. He has so much fun. The crazy thing with that dude is, on the walk to the cage, looks like he's having a party. It's all dancing and a party. the moment he gets in that cage the flip the switch gets flipped and then he's just stone faced and he's not no more playing around very serious it's like he just enjoys himself up into the moment where he has to lock in and then he locks in it's like sometimes i worry about a guy getting too relaxed and too confident with that dude it's like he's he's got a perfect balance party the The whole crowd is doing this.

52:07Everybody's doing this. The whole fucking crowd. But when he gets into the octagon, he dances a little bit for everybody, and then he just locks in. It's amazing to watch. He flips a switch later when he gains 60 pounds, too. Oh, he gains so much weight. I also respect the hell out of him. I love it. In the offseason. I love it. He transitions. It's like, who was that? James Harden. Who was the British boxer? Lennox Lewis. That fought Mayweather and Pacquiao. Ricky Hatt. Ricky Hatt. Hatton would fucking blow up too Look at these guys Looks like Hanson Yeah they all wear Patty the Batty wigs I'm having blonde wigs As this guy sold I'll tell you man If this dude gets a hold of your neck Everybody's fucked Everybody's fucked if he gets a hold of you Let me just show him I'm coming out dancing As soon as people see him They go crazy I had to roll with so sick.

53:07As soon as the audience sees him, they go fucking bananas. Everybody starts throwing their arms in the air. Wow. I turned around and looked behind me when I was calling the fire. Fucking everybody had their arms going. It was amazing. It was amazing. He's probably the most fun right now in the UFC. 100%. The most fun. He's the new Connor. He's the most fun. Yeah, but it's different. He's like a sweet guy. Yeah, he's fun. He's like fun. Connor was funny. Yeah. Him and Teporia fucking hate each other. So that's a really interesting fight. But let me tell you something, man. He's big. Like deceptively big.

53:42Like he's deceptively big. When you're standing next to him, you're like, he's a big guy. Teporia is not nearly as big as Paddy. Paddy's huge. He's a big guy. Really? Yeah, he gets fat in between. But I mean, when you look, he's fucking big. How tall is he? At least 5 '11". And thick. That's the thing is about his back like when he got a hold of Ben was on the knee He catches him in that Darce choke and then you see the back muscles on that motherfucker And then he wraps his legs over the top and he's rolling through the whole thing like he's got a squeeze man. He's big Look at this. This move was so slick You have to understand like this is never been done in the UFC before at all the submissions It's a Darce choke with legs over the top Like it's almost like you're in full guard and he's using the right foot.

54:30You see what he's doing is right for he's flexing forward He's holding his arm in place and then his left foot is pressing down on the back And then he's got the full Darce grip like a rear naked choke style grip on the choke with the arm tucked in So he's got his legs involved. He's got his back involved his arms everything. It's insane I'm like get his left arm out of there because he ain't going nowhere He's out. He's fucked. He's complete and he tries to roll because Ben was on the knees like very legit So he tries to roll out of it and patty just rolls with him and then winds up on top with just insane Pressure man and just put him to sleep, but no one's ever done that submission so it's a combination of like a peruvian necktie a Darce and you know, maybe a couple other things.

55:16What's his right leg? So people are calling it the padlock now Hey, I like it. Another kid just pulled it off recently in another MMA fight. Pulled off the exact same move, the exact same leg, which is really fun. It's like people see someone do something, they go, oh, I didn't think about it that way. Because generally when you catch someone in a Darce choke, what you do is you try to hook the leg. And it's basically like sinking the choke in deep and you're hooking the leg. But what he did was went around the top and got over his back and then just rolled with him. And it's like, oh, my God, the pressure's insane.

55:52Oof. It's hell. I'm going to break out of it. Hey! It's just like when I watch some guys getting choked and I'm looking for, I look for way outs. I look for, like, where's a way out? Where's a way to defend? I'm like, there ain't no way out of this. This is death. This episode is brought to you by Armra. Every week, there's some new wellness hack that people swear by. And after a while, you start thinking, why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies? That's why Armra colostrum caught my attention. It's something the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, etc.

56:29I first noticed it working around training, especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, but I am still taking this. If you want to try, Armra is offering my listeners 30 % off plus two free gifts. Go to armra.com slash Rogan. What's he doing with his right leg to his left arm? Well his right leg is hooking the bicep. He's hooking it right where the bicep meets the crook of the elbow. So he can't... So he's not he's not gonna able to get that arm back. So it's like locked in place like here, so he can't defend. What he wants to do is sneak it under and try to separate the lock. So now this arms out of the equation.

57:05So you're only defending... You're defending... You're defending one leg and two arms that are wrapped around your neck with one hand. With one arm. With only one hand. because he's using his right foot to lock a hold of that elbow crook. It's fucking sick. And pulling it back? As a guy who loves jiu-jitsu, that's the sickest shit I've ever seen in my life. They should teach that to cops. Cops would be good. Not that move. They'd be good to know that. Teach cops that move? Yeah, you wouldn't shoot people. What are you talking about? It's a shoot people. You could just lock them up. You think you're going to put them in a padlock?

57:34Yeah, get them in a padlock. Just shoot them. All right. That's faster. And we get the body cam footage. Cops should definitely know jiu-jitsu. That's what he looks like when he's getting squished. Holy shit, look at that rump. You know what the saying that is? Like he's got one arm that really can't even engage. See, his arm can't even grab a hold of where it's gripped. Oh, that poor guy. He can't reach it. And then his other hand is where he wraps a hold of it with his foot. So he locks up with his right foot underneath the crook of the elbow on the left arm. And the other arm's useless. So he's just going night and night.

58:06Bad tie. Bad tie's a good name. Imagine ripping a fart right then. Yeah, they call it either the padlock or the pad tie. That's what people are calling it. I love them both. He should name it. Paddy should name it. He did. That's what he put up. Oh, he called the Pad Thai? That's great. There he goes. Oh, beautiful. Okay. So that's what it is now. So it's the Pad Thai. Remember the Juke Claw? Oh yeah. Juke Claw. Remember you take the money? Yeah. Pickpocket. What's the Juke Claw? Eddie Bravo name. Eddie Bravo. I forget how it goes. I forget that move. How does it work? Do you remember? No, but I was there and he was like, what's where we...

58:39Oh, let's call it the... Oh, alright. Juke Claw. I'll allow it. He's always getting ridiculous names. J.I.U. He's like, no, we'll change it. We're a superhero ever. Just a guy missing an arm. I had to do commentary for the UFC once, and one of the guys that was fighting was one of Eddie's students, and he was doing something called crackhead control. So it was like on Fox, and I had to explain, this is called crackhead control. I didn't name it, guys. What is this? It says sweep from the... Sweep from the Jew Claw. You're afraid to say Jew? I mean, it's not a word. That's misspelled. It's spelled Jew.

59:21It's clear. No, it's J-I-U. No, that's literally how it's spelled. Are there any Jewish fighters? Oh, yeah, definitely. There's a ton. There's a ton. He had a good sleeper. Wait. In the UFC? In the UFC? I'm not sure why my ears get hot in these fucking hours. Oh, okay. Who's a Jewish fighter? I'll say that AC. I don't know. Well, Mo T. Hornstein was the first. 75. Everything came close. Moti Horenstein was a, I think he was an Israeli special forces guy. And he was a Krav Maga guy. And he was in the very, maybe Kilkishan. He was in the early UFCs. He fought Don Fry and got beat up. He fought a few big guys and got beat up.

1:00:00What, Tiger Shulman? Maybe he didn't fight Don Fry. Tiger Shulman? Tiger Shulman is a coach. And he runs a bunch of elite MMA gems. He marketed him. He sells a lot. He parlayed it. Tiger Shulman? Yeah, he's probably a good fighter. Well, they know what they're doing for sure. They've developed a bunch of elite fighters. Like Shane Burgos came out of there. A bunch of guys, like top-level guys came out of Tiger Shulman's. Oh, he was MAGA? Huh? Oh, Krav Maga.

1:00:36The original MAGA. I don't remember what Moti Hornstein's style was, but this was back in the day. What's his name? Moti Hornstein. Hey, come on. Oh, shit. That's crazy. Early UFCs. He was an Israeli guy who fought in the early UFCs. He was good. Just sue me. Touch me. Put me in a humble. Touch me and I'll sue you. He was good. But he was a little too small, and he was also not a wrestler, and he got fucked over by these wrestlers. They just beat the shit out of him. So who? There he is. There he is. Okay, so this is 2026. So he's doing like a seminar. Oh, okay. See if you can find like footage of him from the early days of the UFC.

1:01:11Benny the Jet looks like a fucking vampire. Yeah, Benny needs to shave his head. Benny would fuck you up. Benny would fuck me up. Benny was a guest. He was a guest on the podcast. Yeah. When I first moved to LA in 94, that was one of the first places I went to. There was two meccas that were in LA. One of them was the Comedy Store. That was the big one. The other one for me was the Jet Center. That was his place in Van Nuys. This is the Smashing Machine version. Oh, yeah. That's who it was. It was Mark Kerr, and he got destroyed. I would not want to fight the Smashing Machine. Smashing Machine versus the Jewish guy.

1:01:42That's a good name. So this is Moti. So he was good, but he was a karate guy. And like, there ain't no way you're going to be dealing with Mark Curry. Look how big Mark Curry is. He's huge. It was an immediate shot. Not only that. While you're wearing a gi, there's so much to grab a hold of. It's so easy to control you. If fighters fought in a gi in the UFC, the fights would be completely different. Ow. And Mark just beat the fuck out of him. Oh God, you hold me down too much. Stop it, please. Get off. Also, Mark admittedly was on all the steroids. Hell yeah. He was on some stuff that you could only get in Mexico.

1:02:17Didn't need him for this fight. He didn't need him. Didn't need him. Should have saved his steroids. Oh man. This is like UFC probably 10? Okay, 14. UFC 14. I was there for this. Oh wow. This is back when I was working. Key Willikers. When you were working for free? Yeah, no, I got paid back then. I didn't work for free until the new UFC because they were hemorrhaging money so that they tricked me into working They tricked me into doing one event. I did one event when they did the best Remember best damn sports show period yeah Yeah, so they had a best damn sports show period UFC so they had to make it UFC 37 and a half I think was 37 32 and a half.

1:02:56Was it Tom Arnold? He was on it. Yeah, bro. He did the warm-up. Yep. It was a couple of the dudes on it and so So they did that, and they did that for Fox, and Dana and I were friends, and Dana was like, just do me a solid. We just do commentary on this one show just because it's going to be on Fox. It'd be big. Fear Factor guy does it. I'm like, okay, I'll do one. And I did one, and then the next thing you go, you want to do another one? And we're like, oh. Got me. He got me. And the next thing you know, I did like 15 of them for free. They gave me a nice Rolex, though. They used to do celebrity boxing.

1:03:32Remember that? Oh, yeah, that was fun. I should bring that back. Screech. Yeah, well, there's always a bunch of people that are broke. Tonya Harding. Yes. Tonya Harding was a cheeky fire. How about we did on the man show Tonya Harding fought Doug Stanhope? That's awesome. Really? Who wants to kill them? Doug kind of held back a little bit. Ah, that was being a good time. They didn't have her fucking rod. Doug's got a great ego. He doesn't you know, he doesn't need to win. He just wanted to make it entertaining. It was pretty funny though watching Doug smoking cigarettes in between rounds. I've never seen this.

1:04:04It's such a small ring. Look at the little ring. Is that his mom? The ring was fucking tiny. It was ridiculous. Poor Doug. Look how young he looks. God, that's crazy. He's taking all of a cigarette. It's his mom. That's when his mom was alive. That's great. That was fun. Now, who won? I don't remember. The fans won. There you go. Nobody won. Everybody lost, including America. Those celebrity boxing matches sometimes they're sad was it the dude died recently Aaron Hernandez Carter is that his name? Yes. The guy with the tattoos on his face. He had a one against the Basketball player. He used to fuck the Kardashian girl.

1:04:48Yeah, Mar Odom. Mar Odom probably killed him. Uh-huh. Crazy choice. Uh-huh. Should have done crackhead control on that guy. It'd be like me fighting a 13 year old. This is so ridiculous. He's like 6 '10". He's so big, and that kid couldn't fight at all. The whole thing was crazy. He must have just been so desperate for money or something. I don't know. Something sad. You ever see Dirty Work? Sure. Hell yeah. When the kid from Different Strokes comes in and tries to fight Dredo Tatum? Yeah, yeah. What's the joke? Oh, Todd? Gary Coleman? Yeah. Was it Gary Coleman? It's Gary Coleman. He just gets walloped.

1:05:26Do you remember when Gary Coleman was working as a security guard and people would just show up just to make fun of him? No. Oh, poor guy. People are so evil. Because there's one thing if you're just a four-foot-tall security guard. That's one thing. But if you're a four-foot-tall security guard who used to be a TV star. Massively famous. Then people feel like people, when you've crashed, when you've made it to great heights and then you've crashed, there's people that revel in that. They love it. They love watching. Look at the size difference. No fucking way. How crazy is that? Not only that He's six foot okay, but he's six foot a hundred pounds respect for going in the ring though.

1:06:04No, he's on drugs ah Gotta be out of his fucking mind

1:06:10That is clearly the weight difference the weight difference is literally insane Literally insane the weight differences is like fucking 80 pounds, and he's giant. It's terrible don't want to mark could have been on crack That's what I'm saying. Might have made it worse. That would have helped. I'll fight anybody if I was on crack. He got to round two? Oh, well, I don't think they're like one minute rounds. I mean even then. Chuck Liddell. Chuck Liddell was like, what are you guys doing? Oh, he didn't even get a hit. It's just a beating. If he was a kind soul, he would have just punched him to the body.

1:06:40Just liver punched him until he drops. Damn. But, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. Carter. That's the saddest state of fighting is people that are desperate for the money because they used to be famous. Now they're not. And then they're going to have a fight. That's the saddest fight. And they want fame and money at the same time. Or slap fighting. That was the saddest state. When you need the money and you're – because you know you're only getting like 18 grand. The slap boxing? Yeah, you didn't get much. The slap. You ever see Jeremiah fuck up Lewis? You did. Jeremiah hit him with a fucking shot.

1:07:10Oh, that was great. Pull that up. Lewis started cheating a little. Of course. He started punches to the body. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Lewis hit him with like a legit punch to the body. We did Legion of Skanks. And I was – yeah, I was so happy. Yeah. They had a slap fight. Lewis just would never be able to handle the loss, which is very funny. Jeremiah weighs 100 negative-y four pounds. Lewis got leg kicked. No, this is just one of them. They had one of them that they did on the street. This one was the setup because he got fucked up. Did Jeremiah box at one point in his life or something? He boxes against the Satan.

1:07:44Oh. Jesus. He loves Jesus. Did he box or something at some point in his life? I think he was wiry. Interesting. Good for him. So Lewis was outside of the creek and some homeless guy was talking shit. Something happened. Oh, that was bad. So he squares up with the homeless guy and the homeless guy immediately leg kicks him. Like a really good Muay Thai leg kick. And then he hits him with a second one. That guy was like, all right, all right. I don't know. Lewis wanted to keep it going. I didn't even watch it. I know. Lewis put his hand out. He was like, all right, all right, we're good. I won't watch that.

1:08:16And I won't watch the Perez Hilton video either. Oh, that's good. It's fine. It's fine? Is it like a half an hour? He's not cutting himself. Oh, you think it's fake? Yeah. He's in the hospital. Doing what? Still for the mental breakdown, not for the wounds. Are you sure? I would imagine. I think he got some pretty good last impressions. I don't know if you want to say that. That dude will sue you. He will sue you. That crazy fucker. For saying he didn't really cut himself? Sure, just for attention. He sues the guy who holds the world record. The world record of the largest selling out show of all time.

1:08:48Of course he's going to sue you. Who, Perez Hilton? No, this guy. You're right. Yeah. Of course. I heard selling out. I went the underway. You were in England. A lot of things have changed.

1:09:00I'm a headliner now. There's a new sheriff in town. How is it over there? You're putting in? It's fucking rough. They hate immigrants so hard. When are you going to move back? Including you? Why don't you come back here? Right here. Right here, buddy. Come on. We'll get you an apartment. I'm already hooking up. Are you calling yourself an immigrant? They are calling me an immigrant. They have always an immigrant. He's set up to make it hard for you. No, he's an immigrant. If you're in England. Yeah, but that's not the immigrants they don't like. I know. I'm trying to explain that to them. I think they like the other kind.

1:09:28Tell them you hate Muslims. You'll fit in. If you just came in with no paperwork, you'd get all the services. Oh, they hate Jewish immigrants. No. Yeah. They hate just immigrants. They make it hard. You can't rent an apartment unless you have three years of UK rental experience. What? Tell them you're from a different country. Come back. I know. Every immigrant does. Come back to them. You know what I mean. Ari. Don't tell them you're from a different country. Ari. We got a place for you right now. How do the other guys get in so easy? They have to live with their fucking families. They just can't do it.

1:09:54I got a place for you. It's a nice condo. Let me stay with you. Come on, I got a place for you. I'll stay at the foot of your bed. Girl, watch me and my wife fuck. I want you to do this in the middle of the night. I'll make you take pictures of me and my wife fucking popcorn while you guys are fucking. Why don't you get a nice place and a nice penthouse? I know a spot. I know a spot. I got a spot for you. Get me a place right now. Right above Tony. Oh, it's a nice view. The place that I'm talking about. Tony's at bottom. I literally have a spot. I have a spot. It's a nice condo. You don't need to live in that nonsense.

1:10:28You're going to end up here anyway. It's going to happen. It's more fun. You're having fun over there, Stan. Listen, if you want to work, there's plenty of fucking clubs to work at. Shut up. I'm living in Knob Hill. You would have said you're having fun. What? You just said you're just getting started. You're not having fun? I'm not having fun. You should leave. It's been very difficult. Bail. You'd be having shit. It's been extremely difficult. Two months, I haven't found an apartment. I've been turned out by seven apartments. Wow. You gotta shave. There's legit anti-immigration shit. All right, I'll give you an apartment for a year for free.

1:10:54Whoa! Keep it down. Keep it down. Fucking Stonokio. One year. It's a nice two-bedroom in a gated or guarded building. Can't spell gated without. One year for free. Come on, Jude. Let's get started. I think it's on the 39th floor. It's a great view. 39th floor? Which one is that? That tall, thin one? I'll show you later. What do you have it for? I got real estate, bro. I'm rich. Oh, nice. Wow, a year. I'll give you one year for free. You don't have any money. I don't have any money. Come on, dog. You don't need any money. I haven't toured in so long. Get some money at the mothership. You could do a night once a week.

1:11:35You get 80 % of the door. Woo! Start making money. Yeah. You can work all around town. You can start doing the road in America. I'm just starting. Home of the brave. It was just offered before. He went until he moves to England. I had to go through all the paperwork to get a visa. Because I wanted to try to lure him back. I didn't think he was really going to go through with it. I thought he was going to stick with Legion of Skanks. Dude, I had to get Francis Foster to be my guarantor. They were like, we don't trust you with your money. And I was like, I make more than him. And they were like, it's not yours.

1:12:00It's American. Damn. They don't trust your money? I'm freelance, so I have no actual boss. Right. No employer. And then it's like, you just don't have to save, bro. Can't they just Google you and see your Netflix specials? I've tried that. That doesn't work. The problem is they saw the first one first. Which one? He's got no future. Amazing racist? Oh, yeah, that'd be great. No, they would welcome me in that. They saw your Kobe video. Like, uh-oh. There's got to be a British guy out there who's hearing this. Like a British Rogan who's like, I'll give you a place. Jimmy Carr woke you up. He wrote my visa letter.

1:12:32Oh, he's a great guy. He is a good guy. Ricky Gervais is great. You can't get a fucking apartment. Dude, I've been turned down by seven apartments. Why don't you live with Eddie Izzard? Eddie Izzard? Izzard? Because I need some fucking closet space. He's taking it all. He's way out of the closet, bro. He's all the way out. Oh, I meant for his dresses. Oh, got it. Listen, come back. Come back to America. It's a cute idea. You've got to hit me up in a year. I haven't even gotten started yet. Come on, stop. It's not going to work. Can you hand me one of them bottles of beer? Absolutely. Yeah. Can you hand me one of those Bud Lights?

1:13:06Absolutely. One of those crisp, trying to get fat off these IPAs. Hell yeah. Give me some keys. Let's do this together. All right, hold on. He's got some keys. Keys? Give it a second. Keys, keys, keys. It's not time. No, it's not time yet. Give it a second. Don't try to deflect from your fucking British. Guys, I just started. This is the wrong time. Harry, fuck that place. No disrespect to English people. I love them to death. I bought three Tottenham tickets. I'm not going now. Here's the other problem. They're going to put you in jail. You talk too much shit. Dude, trust me. I fucking press them.

1:13:35They're going to princess die you. Yeah. You want to go to jail, huh? Is that the plan? I want to test the fucking rumors. That's what it is. Yeah, he's this is a Josh Hokett Michelle Obama's a man on the White House long. That's what he's doing. He's doing that shit I got a sweet new bit about Muslim drivers female drivers I do too. Let's make sure we don't have any crossover. Yeah, yeah You don't want to live there dude. I do it's fun. Shut the fuck up. You miss us. It's fun. You miss us. You were so sad Manchester United that would rock. Dude December 5th come to the Derby. Sure to visit right to Derby What?

1:14:09Once you live there long enough, you'll understand it's called a Darby. I just said the Darby. You called it Derby. I didn't say that. It's spelled Derby. I said Darby. It's a Darby. Lad, I said it. Watch the tapes. I said it. Yeah, watch the tapes. Roll it back. Roll it back. Click back 15 seconds. I clearly said Darby. I think he said Darby. Thank you. Instant replay. I apologize then. I thought he said Darby as well. I'll be the bigger man. You see how I do that? You're not a bigger man. You were wrong. You're not a bigger man. You were wrong. I'll see. I'll see. That's not a bigger man. You don't know who's raised a bigger man.

1:14:37You were clearly wrong. Hold on a second. Can I speak? Can I finish? Can I finish? See, somebody lost the composure. Screaming. When I'm wrong, you see what I do? I go, I'm wrong. Okay. And that's just a lesson for you. That's not your wrong. You can learn from this. Derby Dreamhouse.

1:14:59He's back. That nicotine took him out for an hour. That was all gone, man. I was in London. That was bad. That was a rush. Not a good rush. Couldn't think straight. My legs won't stop moving. Now, imagine taking like literally 20 of those over the course of a night and then trying to go to bed. That was me last night. I was laying in bed. I said, I think I'm done. Yeah, it's every night. And then I listen to that fucking Annie Jacobson book every night. I'm like, oh shit. Who's that? She's scared the fuck out of me. No. She's the lady that wrote the book on nuclear war. Nuclear war scenario. Which was the scariest book I've ever read.

1:15:35The new one is on biological war. It's bad. It's a bummer, dude. It's fucking scary. It's like - About how easy it would be to ruin everything. Yeah. Yeah. And how we're doing it. Everyone can die. Russia did it. Yeah. And China's definitely doing it. Yeah. We're making crazy stuff right now in labs. Like, all this Fauci shit that's coming out. Like, a lot of this stuff, what they're really doing is warfare stuff. Yeah, it's terrible. A lot of these, like, diseases, this gain of function where they're trying to pretend that they're trying to protect people from future viruses. What they're doing is making viruses more transmissible and more deadly.

1:16:08And they're working on it. Your tax dollars are at work. Ari, they made a plague. A plague? The bubonic plague that the first 24 hours, they spliced in a thing that makes you feel euphoric. It's like ecstasy for 24 hours so that you want to go out and talk to people and go to a bar and you want to go out and dance. That's like brilliant and evil at the same time. Who's doing that? The Soviets did it. Oh, it spreads like a virus. Oh, and it's 100 % deadly. Yeah, but the fact that they spliced in ecstasy for 24 hours. So the first 24 hours, you're like, I got to talk to my friends. You're feeling great.

1:16:47I got to go out. Wow, that's genius. You're calling your friends up, telling people about your new protocol. This is my new health protocol. Damn. Whoa. Meanwhile, you don't know you have like 100 % fatal Ebola or whatever it is. Wow. It is. Yeah. Holy. It's pretty lame. Whoever did this should be executed. Right. All of them. All of them. Well, you see the Fauci thing where he knew that women were getting miscarriages? What? And they lied about it. He lied about it months after he knew, after expressed publicly, or privately rather, in a text message that it seems there's a cytokine storm that's causing miscarriages with the second dose.

1:17:25So he says this in a text message. I don't know if he said second dose, but he did say cytokine storm that is associated with miscarriages and then publicly was out there promoting the idea of women who are pregnant getting vaccinated when he knew there was an issue. And they also lied about the number. The number of women that got – I don't even want to say what the number was because what I'm reading is 80%. 80 % miscarriage rate in the first trimester. Something fucking insane. But I personally know five people who got pregnant during the pandemic, got vaccinated, and had miscarriages. Five different people.

1:18:07If I got a girl pregnant, I'd be like, you need to get the vaccine. You need to be safe. Our baby needs to be safe. And you should get both, the Moderna and the other one, just in case. Oh, mama. Dude, it's fucking terrifying. That guy's a sociopath. People that are thinking that this guy was some sort of a fucking healthcare hero, you don't know what happened in the 80s. You need to go and just objectively read up on what that guy did with AZT and AIDS in the 80s. I thought he was like an AIDS hero. Fucking monster. Didn't he do a lot of good with AIDS? No. I'll tell you in a minute. So what does it say?

1:18:42Cumulative miscarriage rate of 10.8 % from 6 to 20 weeks after mRNA vaccination. Just stop and think of that. Imagine if you're having a kid. And, Mark, you have a kid. You're the only one besides me. You love your kids more than fucking anything in life The idea that you could give a Medicaid medication and one out of ten your baby's dead Mmm, no one's gonna sign up for that. And what is the odds your wife is gonna live and everyone's gonna be fine? It's ninety nine point nine nine nine nine nine nine if you're healthy nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine meanwhile this motherfucker went around telling people that they should get vaccinated while they're pregnant uh i should have signed a claim from early 2021 pregnancy registry report showed an 81 to 82 percent miscarriage rate this is misleading recalculation of preliminary registry data many live births in that early report involve people vaccinated in late pregnancy so simply removing them from the denominator while returning But the issue, apparently, what he said was in the first trimester.

1:19:51That's why it's 82 % within the first trimester. That's what they're saying. This is what I'm reading from actual doctors, including Jay Bhattacharya was talking about it online. So this is like not kooks that are talking about this, this issue that he knew that there was an issue with women having miscarriages. And that motherfucker still promoted it. He still promoted it openly on television. It's very important that women get vaccinated. That's the most important thing. They were just selling vaccines, man. They were selling vaccines and killing people. And why the fuck does an 80-year-old have a diary?

1:20:25Anyone find that strange? In a race car bed with his feet up? Today, Jennifer Aniston said I was lovely. Julia Roberts called me a hero today. Who's he trying to remember? He's going to be fucking dead. Bro, he's a crazy person. I'm going to look back at this. That guy's a fucking legit crazy person. Did other signs of a diary? He gave people AZT in the 1980s when they had AIDS. AZT was a chemotherapy medication that they discontinued because he was killing people quicker than cancer. But it had already passed through all the FDA bullshit, right? So it had already been a used drug. So once it's a used drug, you can use it for other things, off-label use.

1:21:08So that's what they started doing. No. So that's what they started doing in the 80s and they're just fucking killing people who didn't even have any symptoms Arthur Ashe didn't even have any symptoms and they just started giving him AZT and he was dead in like six months I think that's the, didn't Baryshnikov, did he die from AIDS as well? Mikhail Baryshnikov? Oh, the dancer? Yes, did he? He was a homosexual Am I making that up? Pull it up Someone like that also died of AIDS that didn't have any symptoms but tested positive for HIV And then the problem with the testing positive was they were doing the same shit that they were doing during the COVID epidemic, where 80 percent plus of all the COVID positives were false positives because they were using the PCR method, which Kerry Mullis, the guy who invented the PCR method, said it's not supposed to be ever used to detect an actual infection.

1:22:00That's not what it's for. It's detecting particular like whatever small amount elements depending on how many cycles you ramp it up And if you ramp it up enough cycles, you could find almost anything and that's what they were finding There's 80 plus percent false positives Yeah, so how did he die? He's not dead. Oh, it wasn't him. There was another guy who was a dancer Well, you gotta have Fauci on sorry, Michigan You can't Definitely have mine he'll plead the fifth to everything. Did you see that shit? What calls your tie? I respectfully plead the fifth But the thing is Biden did all those through auto pen and Trump just recently made an announcement that all the auto pen What's auto pen auto pen is you use like a stamp like a rubber stamp instead of actually writing a signature and they don't count.

1:22:55And this is what allegedly, supposedly, Trump is saying, that they don't count and he's making them all null and void. So that means, if that's the case, that means that Biden, who pardoned more people than anybody ever, by far, like a giant jump, he pardoned Fauci for 10 years for things that he didn't do. Trump can't void Biden's auto, because of auto pen. So this is very recent. I must say he wasn't going to do it. Okay, but he did it. This is March 17th. So this is March 17th, 2025. I know. But look it up recently because he did it on True Social. He talked about it on True Social. Unless it's fake.

1:23:35That's the other thing. It could be fake. It's all fake. I'm not a lot. Look, I have done a very smart thing over the last three months where I almost never go on Twitter. And I go on Instagram. And my curation right now is nice. It's all murders and science stuff. Dude, I'll send you some dog videos. would get really in there. I got dog videos. Top 10 dogs of the week. We reared dogs. Everybody look it up. Fat asses. This is Trump says he respects Biden's Anthony Fauci pardon amid outcry over his own. So here's the thing about the auto pen. If I had to guess, if I had to guess, if you were starting to complain about Biden's pardons and then you overturned Biden's pardons, at the end of this presidency, there's going to be a lot of people where the justice is going to be coming for him.

1:24:23Unless a Republican gets into office. If J.D. Vance or Marco Rubio wins in 2028, they're going to be okay. But if someone else, if the guy from Pennsylvania or whoever the fuck it is, whatever it is. Are they talking about Shapiro? Maybe. He's one of the ones that they throw around. Ben Shapiro? No, Josh Shapiro. There's a few people that they say could be the president. The other guy is the California douchebag. This is why they never try any of them for war crimes? because they're like, I guess you guys will come back at me. Exactly. Because they all do it. Everyone in the government is doing that shit.

1:24:54This government has done some shit that no government has ever done before. And one of them is the crypto stuff. The crypto stuff is nuts. What? Trump has made billions in crypto. Yeah, it's a bad look. Government is so fucking crooked. And then you got his sons, and his sons are involved in all these weird business deals where the business deals have to do with some things that Trump put, and then the sons are involved in these businesses. And like there's a lot of money flowing around that you could dig in and and start arresting people So if he pardons a bunch of people and gives them the same kind of deal that he gave Fauci The Trump family would do that Lakers sell Bob Josh Kushner for yeah, but that's his brother That's Jared Kushner's brother.

1:25:36He's not Still, but that's just a guy who has money I was at the White House two weeks ago He was at the White House? Yeah, so was I. So was Shane. You know what I'm saying? Like that's the problem. Hold on, let's stop bringing up photos. We got pretty early. We were there. Get together. We prayed. They asked me to go in the VIP room. I said, no way. You didn't? I went in there. Fuck no. I knew those photos were going to be taken. What was in the champagne room? Me and Nate Bargazzi were in there. I know. Chilling. I know. Look how that turned out. It was fine. I stood outside in the rain. I was like, I'm not getting my picture taken.

1:26:04I took zero heat for that event. But you took a photo with Trump a couple years back. It was a funny photo. That was a great photo. That was when you were wearing the Pablo Escobar shirt. That's pre-a lot of things. That's true. That's pre-a lot of things. Pre-world record. No, no, no. Not me, personally. I mean, pre-him. Pre-him. I was back then, when I was taking that picture, I was like, this guy's going to release the Epstein files. No more wars. I liked it. Wasn't killing Americans. Also, still didn't vote for him. Not a big deal. The Epstein files and then the Iran war. Dude, I saw you go after the vice president.

1:26:37It was pretty good. Well, I had to question him. Yeah. I mean, you know, I want to know. Like, what are you saying? I liked it because he was like, you were like, well, maybe they fucking went to war with Iran for this. And he was like, well, I mean, you're saying it wouldn't because of that. You're like, all right, put that aside. He slipped that like Mayweather. Well, I had to have a, well, he did a good job of being respectful to the president. That's what you're supposed to do if you're the vice president. That's your job. I mean, it really is your job. If you represent, it's a different thing.

1:27:01Just being a guy versus being a vice president. So he's in a position where I had, you know, I asked him a tough question. Do you think that Trump would have actually bombed Iran and start war with Iran if it wasn't for the influence of Israel? And he said I really do I go. I'm like really really you really think so why like what what makes you think that? We'll give you an honest answer either way And if you listen to Scott Horton, he you know Scott Horton is an awesome guy on all things war anti-war and here's a who and his

1:27:33He explained to me in great depth how difficult it is to turn enriched uranium into an actual nuclear bomb And he's like they were nowhere near able to do that and Israel has wanted us to bomb Iran forever They've been going to the UN with cartoon bombs saying they're at 62 % They're about to get to 80 there. They've been doing this forever trying to convince the United States and only Trump took the bait But didn't Hillary want to do it? No, they just kept kicking it down. They didn't do it, though. For sure. They didn't do it, though. And Trump did. So they all thought about it and like, this is not the smart thing to do.

1:28:12And they, look, they fucking ruined Libya, right? They did a lot of weird shit that they shouldn't have done. But they didn't do that one. They tried Syria. Everybody tried Syria. The Iran thing's a big one. Because it's like, okay, now what? Because now we are the great Satan. Now he's sneaking out in a fucking catering cart. I heard that I was excited to get back in China. How crazy was that? I heard that too. The card of the deal

1:28:42Solid fresh in his mind. He's happy with it But not only that they snuck him out on another jet and they but they put the reporters on Air Force One That's why that's wild because if that thing blew up in the sky that would be fucking I would love to see those reporters like that funny Trump's pretty good guy cuz this free PJ Those cheese with the toothpicks

1:29:08Normally he comes out of that back room and makes fun of us by now PJs are the greatest thing about being rich Quiet piggy

1:29:18Quiet piggy Quiet piggy was That was the greatest fucking things the president's ever said. I heard one that it ended up being real, but it made me laugh so hard when he told Elon Musk to go back to Africa. No. It turned out not to be real, but I'm like, damn, that's funny. That's fun. Him and Elon are close again, which is so weird. I think when you're on your second term, you're like, oh, fuck it. Let's let it ride. Let's say anything. I don't know. As much money as he can. There's a lot of that. But he's also, how old is he? 80, 84, 83. What happens when you're 80 where you're like, I need to do all this?

1:29:51Because he's got to protect himself legally and a big family. So let's imagine he stays alive for the next 10 years. Just think about what they did to him with the Russia, Russia, Russia bullshit. And then with the real estate bullshit. Yeah, but now he gave him real stuff. Well, here's the thing, though. He needs real money. You need real money to fight that stuff. Like the amount of money that he spent in legal fees for the Manhattan real estate thing or the Palm Beach real estate thing. The Mar-a-Lago when they said the Mar-a-Lago is worth$18 million. Sure. Right. Mar-a-Lago's worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

1:30:23So they're going to pay taxes on it? No. It's like they tried to get him for real estate fraud. They tried to get – that was that lady. What the fuck's her name? Leticia James? So they're going after him using all these lawsuits that are frivolous. They don't make any sense. So by doing that and trying to bankrupt him or at least trying to put him in jail, like he realizes that, okay, I need a ton of money to protect myself. Now he's actually doing things that are going to get him in trouble. Okay, so what's going to get him in trouble? So here's the question. The thing about the crypto is it's shady as fuck, but it's legal.

1:30:59Really? Yep. I don't know if it should be. I don't know what the deal is. I mean, I don't understand crypto, really. I've had a bunch of people try to get me into crypto. I don't understand one thing. Didn't Haktua get in trouble for this? She did, but it wasn't her fault. Haktua, that poor lady, she got roped into something in a pump and dump, and she's not sophisticated. I'd like to rope her and pump that. Dump and dump! Spit on it. She's a young lady and I guarantee you by hearing her talking about spitting on cocks She has spent a lot of time in economics class

1:31:31Trickle down. So she probably got talked to into it by a bunch of slick people look she's fucking like 21 years old She was never famous at all She has one little tiny video where she says she got a spit on that thing and then everybody loves her and she's trying to make money. And then someone comes along and says, hey, we're going to make this coin. It's totally legal. Who do you think came along? I don't know. Somebody came. You said it. I'm not even that's a man. You said it. Donald Trump reported more than$1.4 billion in crypto-related income from 2025, the first year of his second term, according to his federal financial disclosure.

1:32:08That's a lot of money for a year. He did a bump and dump on his own people. He did. So ridiculous. Well, I don't know if he did. This is my question. I really did. But here's my question. Trump coin's not making. I understand. What the fuck? But this is my question. Who's really investing in Trump coin? And is it - Me and my dad, and we are fucked. But is it, in fact, a way to pay someone? Let me say this, because I don't know who's buying it. I'm just guessing. But let's just make up a fake scenario where I talk you into making a Gillis coin. Okay? And I say, listen, dude, dude, dude, dude, listen to this.

1:32:39We're going to make a Gillis coin, and I am going to personally, because, like, you did something for me and I can't pay you because that's illegal for this thing. So what we're going to do is instead of you hooking me up with deals and making sure the regulations get killed and all those different things, instead, what I'm going to do is I'm going to put a billion dollars into this fucking Trump coin or this Gillis coin, excuse me. And then we're going to have a bunch of other people throw a little bit of money in there. But the whole evaluation is going to be very high. So there's gonna be a few morons that are like gamblers that want to get in and try to sell which definitely people I think it's influencers doing a lot.

1:33:17There's a lot of that. There's a lot of gamblers But there's also it's a sneaky way to pay somebody off Right if I raise the money, but we make a fear coin we make your fear coin. I tell you it's not in England so I Can't even sell an improv if I tell you like if somehow or another we did something shady and I owe you some money I'm like, look, I can't just give you money, but this is what we're going to do. We're going to start a coin, and then I am going to finance your coin. So I'm going to pour a bunch of money into your coin. We're talking about how great it is. As an anonymous investor in an overseas account, I'm going to dump a shitload of money into this coin, and then we're going to hype it up.

1:33:53We're going to get a bunch of other people involved, and then we're going to pull some money out of it for you. And then you sell. And then you sell your coin. I think that's all they're really doing right now. They get some influencer to go in. It raises up, and they sell off little bits at a time. It's corrupt musical chairs. It's like, you know when you're going to stop the music. Yeah. What about the insider trading? Well, there's that. That's the other thing. I mean, DeRosa was here yesterday. DeRosa was talking about how when he worked for the Senate. And he was saying, like, these fucking people.

1:34:25Wait, what the fuck? Texas. Yeah. DeRosa worked for the Senate. Joseph DeRosa? What? He did. And he was involved in... What did he do? Get him off one extra shot? What did he say, Jamie? He's involved in something the media

1:34:41KFC some media department some some part of it, but the point is he was saying is this crazy We see these people and they're getting like $150 ,000 a year, but that's a tiny percentage of what they're making all these donations They're getting all these deals are doing and they're doing baseball to get around the salary Whatever money ball. It's like we'll give you a job. What hate the Dodgers. They're slipping, huh?

1:35:06They're just the best team ever, and they bought all the players. That Asian cat. Otami? He's a tall... Is he the best ever? Otami? Probably, numbers-wise. You could argue that, but... The last few years, he is. He could be if he keeps doing what he's doing. In the last few years, he's been the best. You see Wade Boggs on the... He was fishing with his shirt off. Fucking jacked. He's like 100 years old. Yeah, he looks amazing. Bro, he looks great. And he beat cancer. Really? He beat cancer. And his wife. He won the World Series, and he got on a police horse. Well when I was living in Boston He was going through that whole Cheating scandal Like he had a little floozy on the side And it all went public Show the full picture though There's a better version Of that picture where you see his arms And everything as well He's living Jacked He's Chuck Norris right at the end Look how great he looks He's wow first of all look how lean he is Fucking dude is in shape looks like Kumail Nanjiani.

1:36:06He's got the appendix How much better would the world be if we got all those progressive dorks to get on the Camille on Jani diet all of them

1:36:20Talking about their friends have trans friends like stop Your kids are nine. They don't have trans friends Give me a few Could you hand me these Your nine year old kids Don't have trans friends Here you need testosterone And start doing some deadlifts And you'd be like Yeah this is crazy And now he's a marvel Kumail's a cool guy I like him a lot He's a very nice guy Very good I've only had a few I've only had a few interactions with him But they've been very nice He's a very nice guy And I like the fact that he got jacked Jacked Fuck you A marvel hero Fuck you This idea that you can't be funny Be jacked Suck it Suck it Oh, yeah.

1:36:56Shut your fucking dirty, stinky hole. You know nothing. There's no rules. There's no fucking rules. Cardigans on stage. You got to cover up. Well, it's just distracting. Fucking sweat. It's funny because girls go the other way. Girls are like, but it doesn't work. I remember we were walking. Who's kicking my ass? The Voodoo Rangers. The New Rangers? Your drinks. Oh, yeah, they are a little bit. They get me lit. They get me lit. They get me lit. That's a good name for you, the Voodoo Ranger. Me and Fitzhimmons walked into the comedy store one night, and there was this lady on stage that had a short leather mini skirt, high heels, great legs, big tits.

1:37:36Who's all his mom doing there? And she was on stage, and she was talking, and I just turned, we walked in, I turned him instantly. I go, what are the odds that she's funny? And he goes, one in a billion. I go, zero. There's zero percent. There's no chance. There's not a chance in hell that this young lady who's that hot is funny. It's not possible. I think Judy Gold's hilarious. Boy, imagine her in a skirt. Woo! See that labia hanging? Jesus. Sorry, Judy. Cut that. Sorry, Judy. Yeah, good choice. You didn't deserve that. She'd be getting kicked out of bathrooms. She'd go, sir, get the fuck out of here.

1:38:14WBA court. Cut it, J-Mo. Time the note. Note the time. Cut it and we're back. We were joking around. Hey, cut it like Perez Hilton. Cut it again. We're back. Tim Dillon thinks it's fake. What's fake? I thought it was fake. He thinks some of the cuts are fake. He thinks he's like someone who's covered himself with paint or something. That's exactly what I just said. You really think that? Yeah, I watched it. He knows the gays. Like rubbing a knife against him. Pull it up. And there's no cuts when he does it. I thought the report said he was hospitalized with serious injuries. And I thought there was drugs involved.

1:38:47Brain damage. Like ODing kind of stuff. Probably. Well, he said he wanted the cops to shoot him. For real, like 15 times. Again, I didn't watch it, but I was listening to Tim Dillon. Two. Two. You won't let me piss on the fucking studio anymore. What? What? What the fuck did he just say? This is what we were talking about on the phone yesterday. This is why England lost. He mumbles, and you're like, what are you talking about? I don't know what you just said. I can translate that. You have so much energy. You can translate? You won't let me piss in the studio anymore. There you go. You should move to the north.

1:39:17That's right. In England. Yeah, you can piss anywhere. Piss in the corner. Yeah. Piss in your own apartment on the floor. No one cares. Man, I did my tour in Wales. I got heckled by those guys. You don't know what the fuck they're saying. The whole crowd laughs, and you're like, damn. Yeah. Must have been a good one. Right, right. What's that, sir? Oh, man, I did Glasgow. Those heckles are wild. I did Dublin, and I did Belfast back in the day. Belfast was the craziest. Like, you don't understand a word they're saying. Nothing. Don't understand a word. Scotland, I couldn't understand a word. I was drunk at a bar.

1:39:47I went to a bar, and me and this one dude, I just met this guy at a bar, and we just started throwing down. and four or five drinks in, he's just like, I'll fight any man. Fucking Chocoladel, whoever it is, I'll fight any man. I'm like, I believe you. I believe you. I love that he's not saying he's going to win. He's just like, I'll fucking do it. I'll fight any man. He wanted me to know. He wanted me to know. I'm like, I believe you. Those are the best bros. Let's have another drink. They are literally the best bros of all time. Yeah, they're fun. I grew up with guys like that. It was a good time.

1:40:18You were glad they were on your side because they were just totally insane. I miss those days where I could just go to a bar and just just pull up and just get lit It was oh, yeah, you can't do that too hard. It's too too many people come over to me back then so this is like 2007 or some shit. There's no cameras. There's no right nobody. There's no iPhone yet Yeah, so it's like people who just hanging out cameras have ruined Phones they can't cut loose ruined everything in terms of like people's connection with each other oh that too Yeah, 100 % every behind each other all the old phones That was as far as we should have went a flip phone that you could text on and the texting sucked And then we know it's bad, and we still can't stop yeah, we can't stop it's got got too much good shit on it But I pulled back Considerably like I was saying over the last three months just decided enough is enough It's hard just decided enough is not like I don't like how I feel when I just scroll through You get off for an hour sometimes and you're just like, what the fuck?

1:41:16I know, you're bummed out. I can't look at it anymore. Like, I can't. Because it's a lot about you. It's just negative. Yeah. All negative. So everything's negative. It hurts, so it's not like I'm making a disciplined choice to be like, I don't want to look at this anymore. Like, I haven't looked at Reddit in forever. Right. In years. I can't look at Twitter anymore. They'll show you a picture of nature and they go, well, not everyone can afford to get there. Oh, God. Oh, God. It makes me feel bad. So it's like I can't even like, I mean, of course I can, but like, I don't want to click on it. You don't want to live in their world.

1:41:50You don't want to be in their head and they don't want it either. And the only way for them out is to not do that. And if they keep doing it and keep living in that fucking same swamp of ideas, they're never going to change. But my dad, my dad just got on Instagram reels, which is very fun. What's his? He's TikTok and he's sending us fucking AI dog videos. It's like dogs driving cars and shit. That's positive. Oh, no, it's great. It's a nice thing for me and him. I'll send him Instagram reels of Larry Bird highlights. I'll send him some white safeties from the 90s. Fucking lighting guys. Like John Lynch highlight videos.

1:42:26Steve Larch is best. Speaking of J-Mo, toss up a little John Lynch highlight video for the boys, dude. That's the best way. I fucking love it. The best way for guys to connect is like, here's a funny meme, here's a video. Because we got nothing to say. Hey, I'm going to tell you guys something. We have to edit this out. Okay. No one can know yet? Pause. No, no. Yes. By the way, I'm glad we didn't do that. We're back. And we're back. And we're back. I'm glad we didn't. We were talking about doing one with Hunter Biden, but now everybody's doing one with him. Tucker just did it. Then they did Chris Williamson, Duncan Trussell, Matt McCusker, and Biden.

1:43:00Why did everyone get the idea? They stole our protective parts. Fucking Williamson. They kind of did. They're trying. They're trying. That limey. We wish you the best. Good luck. Good luck. Oh, you didn't do it? Highlights, hey. Look at that, Joe. You're going to like this. John Lynch. Laying the hammer. Pick, let's go. 4-7. Boom. Let's go. Get the fuck out of here, pussy. Come here, pussy. You got to do a season on the sidelines. It's so good, dude. You know what you should do? You know how I do a fight companion for fights? You should do a game companion. It would be fucking giant. Let's go, pussy.

1:43:39I couldn't do Notre Dame. Why not? You care too much. I'm just dead silent the entire game. Oh, right. Okay. You see that guy called the Phillies game? What about NFL? I could do the Eagles. I could have a little more fun with the Eagles. Dude, do you know how fun that would be? You, McCusker. Jalen Hurts. Football players. Jalen Hurts. Get him in there. Get a football player in. Oh, yeah. But get Taylor. Get Taylor. And Nate. Yeah. Oh, LaJuan and Compton. Yeah, or Will. Yeah, both of them together. That would blow up. How about that? You, McCusker, Taylor, and Will. Let us use your studio. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:44:10Do it? 100%. Woo! Lock it in! There it is. Jamie's like, what the fuck? J-Mo. J-Mo will be involved. Bro, it would be a great idea. Sundays. I wouldn't mind a football. Occasional Thursday. Yeah, we could get a couple of brewskis in here, watch the 1 o 'clock. Dude, a football companion would be sick. Would you guys? That would be literally sick. Watch whatever's going on at 1 o 'clock. You could totally use this place. That would be 12 here. Bro, that would be so sick. And people would love it. You're going to, like, Adam will come out with me on Sundays when I'm in Austin, and he doesn't drink.

1:44:37So we'll come out, we'll watch the 1 o 'clock game, we'll get a buzz going. He would relapse for that. All right, 4 p.m., we'll stay for the 4 p.m. Spike is so dumb. He's relapsed for less. I'm drinking for the 4 p.m. They go, fuck it, we're already out here. We might as well stay for Sunday night football. That's the 8 p.m. game. There it is. Came for three hours. He hangs out with me for 14 hours. Not drinking? That's crazy. And I'm fucking devastated. Every Sunday. Yeah, I think that would be a killer rule. Listen, we've done fight companions that got way more views than the actual UFC itself.

1:45:11And I think that, like, with football. Does Matt watch football? No, but that's what makes it good. Yeah, well, Matt's just funny as shit. Matt's funny, and you can ask him about football, and he'll answer earnestly. He'll be like, who do you think is going to win? He'll be like, Jets. They suck, dude. You have no idea. It's a great idea. We would have to, yeah. No, you can do whatever you want. That's fine. It's a great idea. Try one. Yeah, definitely do it. I couldn't do college football. Yeah, I get it. You're too invested. I'm going to be going to a lot of UT games. We've got to get you to a Texas game this year.

1:45:42Oh, yeah. I've been to them. Texas, Ohio State. Dude, I went to three last year. Really? Yeah. Dude, they're fun. They've got a good tailgate here. The best is the nighttime games. Only nighttime games are fun. Bro, nighttime games are lit. They get crazy. They're fun. Any live event is fun. Any sporting event. Yeah, but there's something about Texas and football where it's like an institution. Oh, I went to the LSU games in college, and it was like the Coliseum. It was insane. What do we got here? September 12th, 630, Ohio State versus Texas. That's the one. Let's go. That is only – no, that's the weekend before – that's the weekend.

1:46:22When's the UFC? There's a UFC in that range. The Jets. Oh, it's the weekend after. It's the 18th and the 19th. That's in L.A. There's a UFC in L.A. If you guys want to take over the comedy store for a weekend. Oh, shit. What day? 18th and 19th. The 19th is the UFC. The 18th. September. We could take over on Friday. Damn. What do you say, fellas? What do you say? We're taking over the world here. November 7th. Let's go. I know. But we still got to go see Kanye. That's the big one. Kanye, September 4th. What? Does he have any other shows announced? I'm not sure. The 3rd and 4th in Chicago. Is he going to let you sing a song like Zach Bryant?

1:47:02I'm gonna stand on the top of the globe and do stand-up I got a question. What are the the ancient Jews that had the box on the head? Not ancient, they still wear the box? They got that in Brooklyn. Okay, what's the box? It's got a GPS in there so you can plan out Jakarta is gonna be nuts. Jakarta. Almaty. Where's Almaty? What is that? New Orleans New Orleans would be fun Wait, when's New Orleans? When's New Orleans? Yeah, when's New Orleans? Kazakhstan Kazakhstan Kazakhstan, that's crazy Let's go to Kazakhstan Let's do a stadium in Kazakhstan That's in two days Hey, Superdome in New Orleans would be fun That's fun Or we could just go to Jakarta and get killed Let's go to Jakarta September 4th September 4th is the move Or 3rd 3rd or 4th is the move I don't know if I still have it in me, boys What are you talking about?

1:47:59I don't even know if I can bong a beer these days America You got it. What happened? Muscle memory would kick in. What changed? I'm just gay now. Do it for America. Fuck England. America. Fuck yeah. Yeah, I still got it. Chicago is only about - This doesn't go well. How many hours is Chicago from here by plane? An hour and a half? Two. Two. Two. It's both central. So we could conceivably do a podcast on that Thursday, the 3rd, and fly straight to Chicago September. It's like in two weeks. Do a podcast on the plane. Nice. Yeah, why not? Nice. Are you cool? Are you cool with Kanye? We could do before and after.

1:48:40We met. What? When? In L.A. Yeah. Will you please show up with a yarmulke on? Oh, get the box. Tell me about the box. Yeah, what's going on with that box? What's in the box? What's in the box? It's got some prayers in there. It ain't a big deal. It's got prayers? It's got some codes. No, really, what is actually in the box? I think it's biblical scripture. Yeah, it's scripture. It's like hero Israel. And the bigger the box, the more scripture you got in there, the more pious you are. No, no, no. It's like a writer. That's what it is. You got a fat box. Look at that guy. Yeah. No, those cost like 15 grand, dude.

1:49:18That's tight. Obviously. You know what's weird? You ever seen those ancient Chinese sculptures that show a guy with a box on his head that looks like he's got a giant nose? Have you seen those? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you saying Jews visited China? I believe so. There's a Chinese sculpture. We got there early to get our Chinese food. See if you can find those, Jamie. There's Chinese sculptures of dudes that have boxes in their head and then people have looked at them and went, Hey, look at that. Hey. No, that's not the one. No way. No way. That's not what I was talking about, Jamie. I got the horns.

1:49:51There's some way better ones.

1:49:56What the hell box are you talking about? There's other ones that look like way more normal. Joe, I think he got hit with Jewish AI. Yeah.

1:50:09Oh, my God. That's so funny. I'm telling you, I saw one with the box on the head. The guy had the box. What's in the box? But it's just prayers? It's just prayers. Curled up? No. What a great idea. Have a box of prayers. Come on, what is it, foreskins? What do you got? How much would people mock the map to the lost world? Christians if they carried a Bible in their head like a fucking chin strap. Yeah. Yeah, the Christi God's with that Pope hat. It's nothing to sneeze at. The Pope hat's nuts. It's a fish hat. The Pope has a good drip. The thing is, people have to wear a crazy wizard's costume to get you to convince that they're different than you.

1:50:51Bro, if you go to the... It's just a dude. It's a cool-ass outfit. Pope has cool-ass outfit. If you go to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Those cool outfits. And he's got a car. And he's got a sick car. He's got a mobile. Remember the Popemobile? This new guy doesn't use the Popemobile, though. What? Yeah, this new guy is like the egalitarian Pope. He's like a different kind of Pope. So he's sitting in storage? He got rid of the throne. Got a regular seat. Jerry Leno's driving it. Likes the gays. He likes the gays. He doesn't like the gays. Oh, yeah. Nice hat. What an old lady hat. That's like Bishop Don Juan type shit.

1:51:21D.L. Hughley. The trip's severe, dude. That's a weird one. That shit's awesome Look at that hat That's crazy Wow The staff It's tough to drive with that Imagine any other job Imagine if that guy was the CEO of UnitedHealthcare Why does he dress like that? Any other job where you dress like that People would think you're a fucking idiot Why does he have the yarmulke? Jesus didn't find the UnitedHealth When? Where? Bottom right Because he had to visit the Holy Land That's a big yam I don't think that's a real yarmulke I think that's like a Pope cap The boy's always with it It's different It's cold in there Yeah It's the same No it's not He's got a sock hat on.

1:51:55It's covering his whole head. Oh, yeah, he's a Chicago guy. It's covering the whole head, bro. Showing the White Sox. Oh, look at that. White Sox. They did Pope Night the other night, and everybody got one of the Pope Hats. That's hilarious. Tommy Pope. And then they had a nice moment. Tommy Pope. Tommy Pope hat. Tommy's like, for me? I barely even miss Chicago. It is weird that we let them dress like that. I mean, this is fucking insane. They have to. But there's no other job where you're allowed to dress like that. Look at that guy. Yeah, it's nice. That's a crazy outfit. it toss those out for the White Sox fans then they had a Peace be with you with the entire crowd from Catholics, right?

1:52:29Everybody shook each other's hands I love when they do nice have me and Tony of me and Duncan rather we ever dressed like Pope's Duncan did that's Sacrilegious we've dressed like priests right we did priests. Oh Every time we do a podcast Duncan and I would wear different outfits The most difficult was furries You did a very hot yeah, you wear the helmet and you're like respect to the furries Yeah, because this fucking thing is tough to wear. Let's see the furry. Yeah, we've been just like green man. Oh, we dress like everything. We dress like Tesla robots. That was one just like demons. Yeah.

1:53:03Oh, yeah. If you go back to the catalog. That was Halloween with Elon. Me and Elon did a podcast and I dressed like that guy. I would have thought that was me if I didn't know that was me. That's my favorite one because I think that's the one you guys were being quoted on CNN by saying something. With a bunch of candles. Candles, I'm like, this is what was said in a serious podcast. The one we were quoted on CNN, we were literally dressed like clowns. Four fucks. Oh. We were actually clowns. When they cut to you after they set it up, I was like, guys. What's the black? Is that an ICE agent? What is the black?

1:53:39Yeah. The black hood. No, that's a Tesla robot. We dressed like a Tesla robot. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. I bought those online. That's great. Shout out to Amazon. We've been elves. That was one to the left of that. See, Duncan dressed like an elf to the left of that. He's cute. Oh, yeah. That one we wore. Plague masks. Jesus. That's fun. We've done everything. Wait, let me see that plague mask. Duncan wore a ghillie suit once. How about the one where it's me with the eyeballs lit? That was sick. That's terrifying. Yeah. That was a Halloween episode. You would win Halloween. You could go out that anonymously.

1:54:14Not now anymore. They're pretty sick. But again, we couldn't keep those on for very long. Dude, me and Sal went one year on Halloween to the New York parade. Like 15 of us dressed in the same Batman outfit. And then every time we saw a Joker, we'd all surround him and start chest bumping him. It was so sick. We just kept going to people like, where is she? It was so much fun. So fun to be a dude. Yeah. Oh, and the belt worked. We put liquor bottles, like airplane bottles in there. Utility belt. Yeah, DeStefano was with us. At some point we had to rip up the bottom so we could piss through it on the street.

1:54:48Because he's not a way to get it. He's a one piece. Yeah. It was so great. And you feel hidden. Because you have no identity. Except for the beards coming out of yours. Well, that's what the furries like. They like hiding. Yeah. Hiding who they are. They don't like who they are. So they can just be free. It's fine. I get it. I get it. I'm wearing that mask for a little bit, though. Genuinely, both Duncan and I both gain respect for the furries. Yeah, but then they shoot the president. Nah. I don't know if they did. Wasn't that guy a furry? No, he loved a furry. Oh, he loved a furry. Yeah, but I'm not even sure if that's true.

1:55:20The more time goes on, the more I'm leaning towards Candace Owens. What? Wait, whoa. She's got some very interesting theories about it. Hey! Yeah, DeRosa was there. We were getting hammered. Those belts, look, they got the JMO bottle. Yeah, you can see the liquor. That's great. That's funny. That's great. I don't think any story that you hear in the news is accurate. I think there's always none or not on it at least there's always some spin but the So whatever the spin is whatever the spin is about Tyler Robinson There's some bullshit to it. I don't know how much of how much of his bullshit But there's some bullshit and one of the more recent bullshit is they found a photo they were saying was Tyler Robinson But then people noticed that the the because he's real thin people notice that the cars in the background The proportions were distorted and then they realized that what they had done was taking a guy who's like much wider than Tyler Robinson and shrunken the perspective.

1:56:15Really? Yep. And then when you see him for what he really looks like, you're like, oh, there's no way that's that guy. That guy's big. And then you're like, well, it's mostly true. You're like, no, he's shifting it. No, they changed. You look at the hood of the cars behind them. They're all like that narrow. Who was that guy? What guy? Tyler Robinson. He was the guy who supposedly shot Charlie Kirk. Kirk, yeah. Not the president. It was in Guatemala when I heard about that. Were you really? Yeah, people was in a bar. I had to smoke weed. Some guy's like, what do you think about Charlie Kirk? I'm like, college videos were cool to begin with.

1:56:45Yeah, and they were like, he's dead. I'm like, what? Hey, Kirk, you know, you guys shot. The thing about that guy is he... I had furry shot Charlie Kirk. What? What'd you just say? Mama, mama, mama. Erica Kirk, sir. She's a cook. It's funny. You didn't get that. She loves sparklers. Yeah, she does. It wasn't funny enough. I was like, yeah, fuck all right. You ever seen Juski's America Kirk? Yeah, I jerked off. I thought it was there. Were people threatening him they were going to sue him for that? I don't know. It was funny, though. He's so funny. The best thing that ever happened to him. When he came out, he started doing cartwheels and shit with white face on.

1:57:22White face. He's killing it, that guy. Every video kills it. When he goes to the NASCAR. Yeah, man. Unbelievable. Funny dude. Funny dude. People that got upset with that, shut up. I know. You don't think it's weird the lady comes out to sparkers behind her? You're out of your fucking mind. That's insane. I know. You don't think someone can make fun of that? She walks out like fucking Randy Orton. Fucking Goldberg coming out of the park. Fucking Undertaker. The queen wore black for 80 years. The whole thing is crazy. In an interview, she dresses like Seal Team 6. She's all blacked out with a black hat and everything.

1:57:56She's serious, bro. She's serious. Navy SEAL podcasters are fucking cool. She's serious. There's a lot of controversy in the Navy SEAL community as to who actually killed bin Laden. I've been down a rabbit hole this week. That's not O 'Neal. Well, O 'Neal says he did it, but a lot of the guys that were connected to people that were on that mission say he was one of the people that shot Bin Laden, but he probably shot a guy who was already dead. I don't know if that's true. I got his poster in my room. I'm sure they all put one in him. Yeah, I may as well. Look, if you were on the team and I had already shot him, you would run in and shoot him, too.

1:58:32Fuck yeah, we all shot him. And then I would say, yeah, we got him. We all shot together. I'd let you in on it. I'd let you get a little credit. You know it was cool. I watched the doc about bin Laden and they found out it was him from a shadow They measured his shadow because they knew he was 6 '5". They measured the shadow that they knew it was him I heard they knew where he was a long time before they attacked. Well, I heard they knew No, no, no, no from people from the inside people It's not the news. I knew they kind of they knew when to do it and they had a decision a strategic decision to where to take I like it not full invasion.

1:59:05Just get like six fucking badass guys in there I feel really naked with all these sunglasses. He was throwing his kids in front of the firepower, too. It's crazy. Ben Laden. Throwing his wife and throwing women in front of him. Are you sure? And then you just shot them all. Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. That's what I'd say if I shot a bunch of women and children. I'd say, fucking guy threw those kids at me. I just placed them there. Fucking threw his kid at me. He's coming right at us. No, that was Baghdadi did that. Yeah. He grabbed two kids and ran into a tunnel and then blew himself up. Oh, really?

1:59:35Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, they were D students. War is so crazy. Crazy. Good they were not in one of those. When is that going to end? It'll never end. Stop doing that. Take some profit out of it, maybe. Trump posted today about the Strait of Hormuz is now owned by the United States. I'm not being a dysmetic. I'm not being a dysmetic. You said it. Trump posted today that the United States controls the Strait of Hormuz. Yeah, he tweets that every fucking two days. At some point, you've got to be like, guys, what he's tweeting is just distracting you. There's a deal. We have a deal. Yeah, but we all know this.

2:00:10We're close to a deal. Do it. Can you imagine if you were a guy who had a coin? You had Gillis coin, and every time you tweeted, wild shit, Gillis coin just went up. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Isn't he selling his Truth Social tweets to people, and then they can bet on it? What? I think, yeah. He can bet on anything now. He's selling access. He's selling access. He's selling faster access to his tweets, and then you can bet on it. Bet on the markets. Wait a minute. It's literally insider trading. It's cashy. You can bet on everything you can fix. Wait a minute. Is that real? You get access to a tweet before he makes it, and then you can bet on that tweet?

2:00:49How is that legal? Wait a minute. What is this? Trump sued over true social advance access sale. I'm online in the Oval Office. Who's telling him this is a good idea? I feel like I need to be closer to that. $100 ,000 contracts. Yeah, it's$100 ,000. You can get his early tweets. You know how crazy that is? $100 ,000 to get early tweets? He bet$200 ,000. That's literally crazy. I must piss you off so much when he tweets like, Truth Social's parent company, Trump Media, announced in July it would offer subscribers to Truth API who paid up to$100 ,000 each month. Oh my God, not even just$100 ,000 a year.

2:01:29Each month. For early access to market-moving posts from Trump and other people who use the platform. Market moving. You imagine you charge$1.2 million a year. He's just on a grab. Oh, yeah. And to get that, it's just people who are like, yeah, we'll profit all that. I just want to be in the meeting where they go, I got an idea. And everyone will see each other. Let's do it. Should we tell them? They go, look, everyone hates us anyway. A hundred grand. Fuck it. I bet it wasn't even Trump. It was probably some weasel who works in the administration. It was like, charge them a hundred grand a month.

2:02:01And you post things and they can move the market. Yikes. What are we doing? Is it legal? Because it is available. If someone else wants to sign up for it, it doesn't seem like it should be legal. Obviously he operates in legal fucking gray land. But this is the thing about the Trump coin. It's not illegal. Like coins are not illegal. That's what what's her name? It's gay. This is all gay. Well, it's not good if you're already wealthy. I've had enough. I'm a fucking little bitch. If you're already wealthy and you try making money. I'm sick of it. If you're already wealthy and you try making money.

2:02:40Is that a Tony Hinchcliffe? No, that's just me being gay. It does sound like it. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. But I think anybody could start a coin. I mean, Jamie, we got hit up. When we were talking about the fucking Hawk Tua coin, we got hit up by a bunch of different people. And people tried to get me to do ads for coins. And I'm like, hey. I'm still looking for actual coins.

2:03:09So here's a crazy one. Here's a crazy one that went, I can talk about it now because it went away. But there was a point in time where I was doing interviews with fighters after their fights and they said, I want to thank Marshall Rogan coin. And the coin was my dog's face. And it was literally almost like my logo. It said Marshall Rogan coin. And it was Marshall, my dog. And I I would interview these guys and I was like, okay if I call attention to this like what should I do here? My job when I'm interviewing fighters is just to interview fighters. I just it's their big moment They fucking work their ass off to get here.

2:03:47They want to fight I don't want to inject myself in any way if it's not necessary like what the fuck's that also you're like what yeah Because like but a bunch of guys were like I want to thank Marshall Rogan coin the UFC got hip to it and they put a kibosh on it. But I don't know what these guys were doing, but I assume what they were doing was a pump and dump, and they were paying the fighters. So I don't know if it was a pump and dump. Maybe it was legitimate. But the point is the fighters were legitimately getting paid because every time they would win, they would talk about Marshall Rogan coin, and then assumedly some people that were interested in crypto would buy it.

2:04:21That's no bueno. It had nothing to do with me. And here I am interviewing these guys going, this is a weird position to be in. I don't want to say anything, But eventually the UFC is you have anything to do with that? I would know because they're standing there So it seems like you're part of it a hundred percent But also I don't want to fuck up this guy's moment and say hey I got nothing to do with Marshall Rogan coin I don't give a fuck this guy just want to fight Yeah, I'm going on let everybody else figure it out, but it was the weirdest thing in the world like my dog It's a coin, you know, yeah, and I'm sure a lot of people probably thought I was involved I had no idea it even happened until someone said Marshall Rogan coin while I was interviewing him like What I mean, I wonder what like that was back I found out in the octagon while I'm holding a microphone in front of a fighters hand face after he won Marshall Rogan coin and I was like what the fuck are you just saying my dog?

2:05:15Boy, poor dog my dogs got fucking glass on

2:05:22Everybody's asleep he's on the laptop

2:05:28He's on the phone with Cotter

2:05:32That's the fucking shit my dad sends I'll send a fucking Instagram reel of a raccoon driving a car And I'll be like, go to bed, dude It's fucking 1230 That's adorable Bro, raccoons might be the cutest fucking animals of all time They got hands Was it? I'm done with these coins I don't even want to talk about them I was coming home the other day I'm going to talk about my dad using Instagram reels He's moved on The second the Phillies game ends, he's on the Instagram. Lights off in the house on a recliner by himself. Well, they're endless. My mom was on vacation for like two weeks. My dad got fucking wrecked for two weeks.

2:06:08The second she leaves the house, he dies. He's calm. He's like, I just want you to know you're a good guy. I love you, Dad. He'll be like, yeah, all right. Oh, that's so funny. That's great. Yeah, he sits in the dark and looks at Reel. I'm like, what are you doing right now? He's like, I'm going to bed. Bro, if you're an old dude and you've never experienced that. He went from no internet at all. Zero internet ever. Dump right into your reels. Instagram reels. Yeah. Like, fuck. Right to heroin. AI years. Loop me in with him and I'll send him all the shit that Tom Segura sends me. No, no. Don't send him that stuff.

2:06:43Oh, that's just dark. No, no. That Segura's just dark. Don't do that to Phil. I sent Segura some. We need to send nice stuff. I sent Segura some fucking rough ones today. Woo, I got them today. Every now and then he gets me, but I got him today. I got him with two brutal murders. Ah, you got him divorced. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got to send him divorced dude murder pictures because he's thinking about that money he's going to lose. By the way, AOC's single, Tom. You better get on that. I heard about that. That'd be a fun couple. She likes the honky. She's single and freezing her eggs. Really? He's already got two kids.

2:07:15Yeah, she made a video of her freezing her eggs. Nice. Getting in there with a needle. She made a video of it? I don't understand how any of that works either. I don't get it. Voodoo. I don't get it. Let's see what the South Korean football team did. They have a football team? Soccer. You're such a bitch. You suck. You suck. What are you, British? You really do suck for that. They got all the... They got... Do it again. Do it again. Do it right. You son of a bitch. You see what the South Korean soccer... You've lived here for a year. See what I did there? I learned it. I moved on. Come on. You're 89 years old.

2:07:50You're 89 years old By the way, soccer's a British term That's true They got all the refs laid All the refs there Yeah, sexual services Oh, good for them They get them all laid so they'll root for the South Korean team That's brilliant It's not cheating Alleged that it spent thousands of dollars on sexual services for foreign referees That's it? That's a steal Thousands of dollars is a fucking bargain Think about how much DraftKings money is and these games. South Korea seems like the shit. It seems so fun over there. The above is terrifying. They made Taekwondo, Samsung phones. Squid Game. Parasite.

2:08:29Oh, Squid Game's awesome. Parasite was great. They're having fun. K-pop. Yeah. However, they're not going to reproduce. That's true. They're in a real situation. They're in a pickle there. They're in one of the worst situations nationally in terms of reproducing. South Korea, what? Well, because they're just busy. Right there like an insane insane look I grew up around Koreans Yeah, the Korean women are not into the dudes Well, it's not even just that they got a large the work ethic over there is fucking insane really Yeah, I grew up with Koreans cuz I was doing taekwondo when I was a kid So I was around Koreans all the time like you've never seen work ethic like Korean people They're the only ones that outdo us It's the reason why I feel lazy to this day I I was training with this kid who was going to medical school.

2:09:15He was going through his residency while he was on the national taekwondo team. So he won the U.S. Nationals. He was competing internationally while he was going through his medical residency. Jesus. Didn't even need anesthesia. He would just, hi-yup. The dude slept like an hour a night. It was crazy. Some of his training, he would put his books, all the books that he needed to read, he'd put them in a backpack and just run the stairs at the university and then go back to the library. Damn. He always looked tired. He always looked like this. He always looked exhausted. Well, that's just how they look.

2:09:47Fucking ferocious. This guy couldn't even open his fucking eyes. He was so tired. But they work so hard, man. And their parents force them. Like, they don't have any way out. There's no, like, man, take a year off and find yourself. Fuck that. There's none of that. That tiger mom shit, that's real. And they do the eye surgery over there. In South Korea? A little appropriated. They want to go round eye. They do a lot of that. Who was that music guy? Was he from South Korea? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they jumped out of the stage? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that shit's amazing. Psy. Talk about him pumping you up.

2:10:23Gangnam Style. Gangnam Style. That guy's incredible. That's so fun. Boy, that nailed it. That guy nailed it. John Lynch, raccoons. A comedian could never do that. When he's in that enormous crowd and he comes flying out of the floor, that rules, dude. We don't have to play the music, but we've got to see that stage jump. It's so funny. We used to go to UFCs in Vegas and you check into MGM. I'm like, why are there a thousand Koreans here? And there'd be some K-pop band that you've never heard of. Right, right, right, right. Filling up the whole idea. Oh, every day. They'd kill it. So you were saying they're too busy to fuck.

2:10:55Here we go. Here he comes. Look at this guy. He was fucking. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, 100%. He fucked everybody. Just like a band leader. Whoa. Look at them go crazy. Come on. Come on. Look at them go crazy. Wow. I mean, this is worse. This is better than Turnstile. Wow. Fuck it. This is like a Serbian basketball game. This is wild. I'm pretty good. Turnstile rules. Look at the fucking air this guy catches. Look at the air he catches. Look at that. He's dressed like a Dallas cheerleader. Yes, from the 80s. He's got the fringe like Outlaw Josie Wales. Turnstile. You want to get a turnstile. I want to go turnstile.

2:11:34Turnstile on the way here. They rule. Generator, though. I'm more of an old, old turnstile guy. What, Jamie? They're over here trying to be cool. I caught him trying to be cool You caught me being cool You said football when you really meant soccer That's gay as fuck That was gay It's a newer band It's not new What is Turnstar? Turnstar puts on a fucking show Explain to me please Jimmy Newer like a young Hardcore band kind of Is it Cumcore? Did you find any Cumcore? I stumbled down Cum Metal No, no, play the live show. Don't play videos. Play a live show. I thought this had live... What am I looking at?

2:12:19What do you think now? I don't understand what I'm saying. Oh, nice. It's just a band. Kids are in bands again. Guys, this is... Let me hear this. Oh, this is great. It's 12 years old. World is healing. Oh, it's a year old. I thought this was like yesterday. World is healing. Kids are doing bands. Rock is back. They're from Baltimore. Nice. Balbor. They say a... I think. The weird thing is how rap has fallen off the charts. I was going to say that. It's because Drizzy Drake was gone. No, it's because USAID got defunded. Maybe. That's a lot of people think. No, but Drake was gone. USAID got defunded.

2:12:53That dropped rap? We're back on AIDS. I like it. USAID, the Agency for International Development, is well known to have been funding about a bunch of radical, anti-government rappers overseas. Overseas? Funding a ton of them. Like a ton of, it was basically all about regime change. That was a big part of what USA was about. And the thought is that USAID had some—look, Mike Benz, he has a famous quote, that USAID was there for things that were too dirty for the CIA. What are you doing? No, Joe, the reason rap was gone is because Drake was gone. Where would he go? Now, Poppy's home. No, USAID didn't fund rap music, despite with this viral right-wing theory claims.

2:13:38Yeah, of course. There you go. Yeah, but this is Yahoo News, and that's owned by Ari's family. Joe, can I say one more thing? Yeah. You've gotten so big that all of your opinions will be debunked. Yeah. That's true. Your opinions, when you say something, when you go, this is what happened, literally the first article will come up, and instead of naming you, it'll be like, that's wrong. Despite these crazy claims, it's literally your claims. Well, that's true. If you Google something, it's directly against you. But this one is not mine. I read this online, and I read this from people. One of them was Mike Benz, and Mike Benz is very credible and was talking about it.

2:14:17So it's not my idea at all. Mike Benz, isn't he a CIA disinformation agent? Is that what you think? Oh, shit. Obviously, he's a CIA guy going on. I call him on FaceTime right now. We'll find out. No, I'm scared. I'm scared. He's a disinformation agent. Hey, we're in the middle of Protect Our Parks. Yeah, can you hand me that? I bleed the fifth. Give me that puppy. A lot of what he's saying is not pro-CIA at all. That's because that's what they want, brother. There's no way the CIA would let a CIA agent fucking talk shit. Bro, bro, you're freaking me out, man. They want to give us bad info. They love disinformation.

2:14:52CIA is slippery. God damn it. Slippery group. They did the acid things. Oh, yeah, they did. That must have been fun. Imagine watching people try to get laid when they're on an acid. Cuban hip-hop. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah, failed attempt to infiltrate Cuban hip-hop. Yeah, but they try. That makes sense, though. They're getting anti-government shit. It says failed 10 years ago. It makes perfect sense. They're getting other countries' cultural revolutions. They always try to make other governments unstable. What a better way than good music. Yeah, smart. That people like, and that's what they did. But no, the reason hip-hop's down right now in the United States is Sweet Jersey Drake was gone.

2:15:32Now Poppy's home. Check the charts again. Iceman's back. Iceman's back daddy. I mean after all that. I'm a 90s hip hop head. There's so much great 90s hip hop that it's hard for me to escape that era. And it got too auto-tune-y. Well I don't mind some of the new stuff but it's like I like old school Nas. That's what I'm into. Cool G rap. Ari's having a heart attack. Ever since he moved to UK he became a pussy. wants warm beer. They drink warm beer over there. A nice warm beer on a hot day? Oh, it goes down terrible. I bought some peas for breakfast. Did they really have warm beer over there? Is that real?

2:16:13Timothy Taylor's, bro. You got a fucking Luke. Oh, you speak at all British talk. Are they pumping like this? It's like barely cool. Can you order it cold if you want? No, what are they going to put it on ice? You can ask for ice. No, but the beer is cold there. Guinness is cold. Timothy Taylor's is warm. You can get a cold regular beer there. What is Timothy Taylor's? It's like a local. England doesn't have good local beers. They're not great. Really? Oh, they're never really good. You get an apartment now. You can't even. All their shit is like. You might get arrested at the airport. All their shit's from Ireland, from other places.

2:16:39They have the fucking Spanish beer. Ireland kills us. Belgian beer. They don't have locals unless it's like at your pub. Call me crazy, but everybody goes, the Guinness over there, it's so different. I didn't notice it. It felt very similar. How could it be different? That's what they say. It's different here. We got better pipes and barrels. Drake's back on the truck, but so is Thriller. Thriller's the movie. The movie camera. It didn't just come out. The movie, not the doc. Damn, stick season is still in the top ten? That's crazy. Morgan Wallen. Morgan Wallen never leaves there. Yeah, Morgan Wallen balling out of control.

2:17:14He's got two in the top ten. Ariana Grande. She's a real skinny lady. Morgan Wallen's legit. I love his music. Let me see what else is in the top ten. What is it in the top ten of? What is it? The top 200. What is it? Billboard. Is it albums or songs? Songs. Songs. so was three which Drake song was it Olivia Rodrigo she's huge Ella Langley she's fucking gigantic no no con like that stick season's been around for years man that's been on my Spotify playlist for a long fucking time okay this is albums you like Noah oh yeah yeah yeah I went to see him with the lady at a stick season's a great thing he's on how was it I did shrooms to get through it but uh what's not my cup of jizz but uh it was her birthday i took her there you gotta be in the mood for it i like to mix it up i was going to a lady concert okay hon like a concert the girl wants to take you to yeah like you just want to fuck this guy and then midway through you go i want to fuck this yeah i had a girl take me to a fucking uh what's his name benson boone that kind I know, but that's something like that.

2:18:24That's what I call this guy fucking time. He's awesome. And then you go, holy shit, this show rocks. He's a cute twink, that guy. You know who I got coming on soon? Rick Springfield. Nice. Have you seen Rick Springfield perform recently? Okay. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats. 74, maybe? 75, maybe? Looks fucking insane. Pull him up. Shirtless singing Jesse's Girl. Can't find the video. That's a hug. Find the video. Probably still what? No, no, no, find the video. Fuck all this. Go right to the video. So the video of him, there's a video that somebody captured of him on stage. And everybody's like, what the fuck?

2:19:01Is this real? Is this AI? He's in his 70s. He's shirtless. He's fucking ripped and he's singing like he just wrote the song last week. Like full enthusiasm. He's not Barry Manilow in it with a rubber face. Like he's, you know, he's really going all in. Look at this. Give me some volume. No way. Wow. What's this? Give me some headphones, Shane. How old is he? That guy's 70. He's got a rubber face. He looks 36.

2:19:32Leather pants. Wait, how old is this guy? Bro, he's 75 years old. No chance. How old is he? 100 % chance. Listen, 76. What the fuck? He's a 76? He looks 34. He's in his fucking 70s. What? No fucking way. Damn. And look at the energy he has. No, dude, this is really recent.

2:20:02No way. Yes. It's crazy. Look, the guy kept up. He kept up. You can do it. What's he doing? He's awesome. He's got a stem cell. He goes to Wasteel. Listen to me, boys. He goes to Wasteel. Yesterday, I turned 59 years old. Oh, yeah. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Benny. I'm old as fuck that guy's young. Yeah, you can still do it. This is a different world We're living in one of those Bud Lights for Joe's birthday. If you stay on top of your health You can do wild shit deep into the tongue where you're smoking falling apart. Well that biohack guy, whatever that guy is John, Will, Will.

2:20:35That guy's falling apart. He's falling apart. Brian Johnson. Yeah, well they're doing fucking weird drugs and shit. Oh, yeah. Well, he's also vegan. He's doing like blood transfusions. Stop. Stop with your beans. Stop. Stop with your fucking legumes. Stop. Stop. Stop with your beans and protein. Come eat with me. Come eat with me. Let's eat meat. That was 785. Jeez. It's better now. Wow. Bro, there's got to be other camera angles. That camera angle must be nuts. No, it's legit. That doesn't even look. That doesn't even look. Pull up his dating history. I got to know what old. Give me some music so I can do it to something other than America.

2:21:11Fuck yeah. Let's go. What's this? We can't afford this. Jamie, give me some ice, man.

2:21:19How long ago was this? I don't know, dude. A month? It says four weeks. Four weeks. Bro, the dude's in his 70s. But it's the enthusiasm. It's the enthusiasm. He's not half-assing this at all. The panda that wheelchairs in the crowd. Of course. Happy birthday. I'm so happy we're here. Look at that. Voodoo Ranger. Where's the ice cream? I had too much going on. There's the ice, man. Guys, I will tell you, I've been incredibly lonely in London. I needed this bad. You need to move back here. Will you fucking move here? Why are you doing this? You were in the jungle for a year, you psycho. Free rent for a year.

2:22:02Come on. Too early. I'll show you the place while we're here, while we're in town. What are you doing tomorrow? I'll show you the place. Let's see the place. Come on, man. Free rent for a year. Free rent, you landlord. Let's go to gym. It's a nice place. Got a spa. That's a drink video. Oh, the video. Are you in an official Drake video? Yeah. No way. Oh, I thought that was Derek Chauvin. That's so sick. That's a cute kid. That's so sick. When did you do this? Two months ago. A couple. Yeah, I forget. Sorry, I spilled the beans on that one, fatty. Oh, that's okay. That was bad. I felt horrible.

2:22:42We went in and edited it. It was bad. I appreciate that. Come on. Zero chance I will fucking kidnap you bitch I wasn't going to get I wasn't going to get me when I lived in America Your girl's making you stay I just got my visa Five year visa I just got my visa So funny You have to stay for five years in a place that sucks You're not in jail bitch Just having a visa doesn't mean you're in jail I'll get an apartment I'll be fine Just come back There's no chance! What do you mean there's no chance? I just started! What could happen that would entice you? What would be the scenario where you'd go, ooh, I have to move to Austin?

2:23:28Let's come up with something. I got one. I got a year. A full fucking year. I would come back if... I get a free apartment somewhere. Ooh! Keep it? No, I'm joking. I'm staying there, dude. I'm having a good time. It's fun. It has to be something. What are you doing? The food sucks. The weather sucks. The food's amazing. The food's actually great. The food's great. The weather's great. It hasn't rained once since I've been there. Really? I like rain. Global warming has been awesome. Some of the best Indian food I've ever had in my life. Oh, my God. It's awesome. I've been around the world 10 times the cuisine.

2:23:59Indian food's phenomenal. All right. All right. Sunday roast. Sunday roast. England has some phenomenal restaurants. They roll it up early over there. I did a show out there for like a month, and you can't get food after like nine. It's early. They do end early because they all day drink. Yeah. They all day drink. They start at six. What's the scenario? I day drink. I like late night food. Dude, I love your enthusiasm. You got that right. I'm coming back a lot. Honestly, this is the only thing going to be back. Come on. Let's do it once a month. You're unhappy. What would be the scenario? You look terrible.

2:24:24You look bad. You look terrible. I've had a rough go of it. You look sad. As I said before, you look like a homeless guy that got cleaned up. I bet your wife hates it. I've had a rough go of it. Your wife hates it. She hates it, right? She hates it. You've had a rough go. Come on, America. Come back here. Your wife needs a cowboy hat. Ari, you look good, by the way. I bet she likes it more than the jungle. I told the loggers. I saw you. I was like, you look good. I know. I need to lose at least a stone. What? No! How dare you? You son of a bitch. He looked at me. You son of a bitch. Ari's got to go to the loo.

2:24:58There's no reason for you to be over there. It's ridiculous. The World Cup run was so fun. They made an executive order to keep pubs open late so we could party. Later there's fucking midnight. We do that every night. We're left at 5 a.m. I got a compromise. It was awesome. The Mexico game ruled. It was so fun. Yeah. How about I fly you out every two months? Every two months, come do the club, hang out, have a good time. Free. You just come. That's possible. Come on, Jewface. What do you mean that's possible? We have a condo. He's doing something incredibly nice. Say yes. We also have a condo at the club condo no one's using during the week.

2:25:32The club condo is amazing. It's pretty dope. We have a sick condo. So you could use that during the week. And your girl would be happy. I got a sick... She's sleeping in a barn right now. Once every couple months, you have a free vacation to Austin. Oh! This is an intervention, dude. You're a fucking idiot. Right. I'm boarding. You just can hang out. And you can do shows at the club. Wait till January. Let me step my... You're going to fucking hate it. I am trying to stamp my American flag on England's soil. They don't want it. They're pushing you out there. Look, Hicks already did it. Leary already did it.

2:26:05Let it go. Patrice. Yeah. Patrice did it. I forgot Patrice did it. How'd they turn out? Great. Yeah. Patrice died of a Snickers. That's what I'm saying. Wait, what'd you say? Patrice died of a Snickers. Oh, oh. I heard something else. You don't need it. No, it's going to be fun. You need to be around in the comics. Yeah, it's going to be awesome. Good for you. I actually genuinely do support it. Yeah, it works. I don't like you enough to be like, I hope he comes back. It's fun. I get pushed back from crowds. It's actually really good for me. Interesting. What are you doing? Come back every couple months.

2:26:40And this way you get to see good and suck, good and suck, and you keep living in the suck. And eventually you're like, what am I doing? I'm 58 years old. You know when you get back and move to the next place? Shane moved here. He goes, I think I moved to Austin. I was like, dude, it's April. You got to wait till July. He didn't wait. If you have this conversation in December, you might get me. Listen, pussy. Just get in the song every day. It doesn't mean shit. I was outside shooting arrows for two hours today. I don't feel a thing. I don't give a fuck. It's 100 degrees. Who cares? Drink water.

2:27:13It doesn't mean anything. It's pretty hot everywhere here. Just get in the sauna. I'm in New York now, too. It's hot as fuck. This is humid. He's multi-city. Do you understand this? You can be multi-city, too. It hasn't rained once in two months. You can be multi-city for free. Let's have more of these. I'm giving you an opportunity to be multi-city for free. Dude, I got to get set there. I want to say something to these people. You have nothing to say. I want to say something. It's really important. You have nothing to say. I'm going to tell you how to live your life. Shut the fuck up. I got a vasectomy and a dog.

2:27:48Shut the fuck up. I don't have anything to say. Who the fuck has something to say? How the fuck do you have something to say? I don't have anything to say. I have the number one podcast in the world. I don't have a thing to say to people. You said it. I don't have shit to say to people. It happens. You got a lot to say. It happens, but I don't ever say I have something to say. What do you want to tell the people of England? America's way better than you. Well, then come back. I already know. Come back. They already know. You've got to put it in their face. You're Shafir Starmer. You bomb Gaza.

2:28:16Free Palestine. You need to go on stage every night with a Free Palestine t-shirt. It is funny when I go there because there's a lot of Free Palestine there, and I'm like, but you guys, you controlled it before Israel. You could have done it. England could have done it. What do you think? Let that go Stop covering up for your country's actions Why don't you put a box on your head, faggot? He killed in the jungle He was great in South America I was having a great time in the worst hospitals I got to England You lit the jungle on fire Legitimately, I take a 13 hour bus I'm rolling with it, fine And then I get to England Just make it hard for fucking immigrants Well, it's hilarious you tell me They kicked out of Nicaragua They kicked him out of Nicaragua Because they thought he was a fucking press guy Because of you, because of my relationship to you Nicaragua please They looked me up Now we're rolling Let's go They were calling and googling me I'm like don't put in Joe and Ari I'm fucked As soon as he's like what's his experience saying I'm like I'll leave Patrice O 'Neal's in Nicaragua Oh you son of a bitch That was a hard G That was a hard G.

2:29:29I slipped up. Cut that down. That was a hard G. That's a great country. He's a great comic. Hey, Ari, can you hit me one of those? Ari, every two months, free. I'm in. Let's go! We got to start in the winter, but I'm in. Okay. Can I say this? Your leg is going to love it. Thursday night show, Ari and Friends. We have air conditioning here. That'll pay for all your expenses. All right, what about this? Okay. What about September 4th? Yeah. Kanye in Chicago. Wait, that's like two weeks from now. Fuck you such a bitch. That's a month. It's a six hour flight dude. I thought it was nothing. Today's August 12th I thought you said it was nothing.

2:30:04You texted it was nothing. I just found an apartment. Now you're not invited. Fuck your shit bag apartment with lukewarm water. If it's the red place to Chicago I'm in. Did they even let you fucking take showers over there? Bro legit, honestly I have had diarrhea for five months from a parasite I got in Brazil. I'm not having a great time. Why don't you take ivermectin? That was the blood pudding. Yeah. I'm in. It's an anti-parasitical. Hey, can I tell you this? When I went, when I got whatever, COVID for the first time, I contacted somebody. I was in Florida. You're like, perfect. They got monoclonal, something like that.

2:30:37Monoclonal antibodies. And then I was like, I called somebody. I was like, hey, they're like, you should take ivermectin. And I was like, I already have some. They're like, okay, it comes in fours or eights. And I was like, well, I have sixes. And I was like, they're like, where'd you get six milligrams? And I was like, my friend. And they're like, what? Where'd you get six milligram ones? I'm getting the numbers on but they were like I was my friend was like is his name Joe? I'm like, yeah Boxes of it. I bought it from India. I literally bought like a case of ivermectin You get a billion for two nickels.

2:31:07Dude, I still have it. Yeah, I still have boxes of ivermectin You're like my parents with flour. I was there And I was like you guys like get all this flour like oh no, there's a sale like two months ago Yeah, we just like the crazy thing is I was right I was right. There's studies on it now. I was right. Wait, would Ivermectin clear my parasite? 100%. That's what it's for. Not if it's from India. It's an anti-parasitical. I mean, I don't know if it's the one to clear up whatever the fuck you have. What you should get is checked out by a doctor. But meanwhile, over there, you have to wait for a fucking year for a doctor.

2:31:40It ain't great here either. What are you talking about? It's free there, right? It's free over there, at least. Yeah, I gotta get on it. You can go into an urgent care. I'll send you to my doctor. It'll take you three seconds to get in. Do it then, pussy. What the fuck are we talking about? Do it then. Don't talk about it. Why don't you tell me? Why don't you just tell me you have parasites? I'll hook you up. I have a parasite for almost six months. Wait, are we curing diarrhea now? I'll cure diarrhea. I don't give up. I've had diarrhea for 10 years. I don't have one log in five months. I'll cure diarrhea.

2:32:06Damn, don't get in a hot tub. They don't allow it. You need to eat only meat. I'll try that. No, that gives you nothing but logs. Yeah, yeah. No, in the beginning. Yeah. And then after a while, your body adjusts. Even the carnivore diet, me and Matt, we did it for a month. Wow, the first couple weeks are disturbing. I was delirious. We'd go on stage. Me and Matt were backstage. I was like, bro, I can't think, dude. We were both like, dude, I've never been more tired in my life. I miss it. I haven't even had diarrhea. I miss it. You've had nothing? Water. Oh, no. The only thing that holds me back, it was the grossest.

2:32:39That's bad. The only thing that holds me back from the carnivore diet is the guinea in me. The guinea in me just wants spaghetti and pasta. pizza. Last night I had a steak and cheese. What is that local company? These guys have a food truck in Austin. Oh, the Philly guys. So legit. They have a truck? A Philly cheesesteak truck. It's so good. It's so good. Their cheesesteaks are so fucking legit. I think they're Jersey and Philly. What is it, Jamie? What is it? You gotta use a microphone, buddy. R &Bs? I don't know. I think that actually is it. Yes. See if you can find it. I think that's it. I know I follow them.

2:33:22There it is. There it is. Bro. I've eaten that. I'm telling you. It's okay to feel good. Shane can speak on this because you're a Philly guy, but those dudes. They came to the green room last night. It is fucking phenomenal steak and cheese. All right. It's hard to find one around here. That's a good one. But it's phenomenal. Look at that. Just the right amount of spice to it. I'm telling you these guys they do it right, but they know what they're doing They know what they're doing and they're young guys and they're cool as fuck. They brought the green room last night We all had some they bring in like a case of them to the green room That's so good.

2:33:59You can't get that in England. I couldn't need it before I went off stage. You go in there hungry and you're like, please be something to the right. I know. There's a box of burgers. There's 80 hamburgers. It's another thing to entice you. Oh, the F7. Another thing to entice you. If you are ever at the club and you want something, all you have to do is just ask. And they will deliver it. Whatever you want. You want steaks from Eddie's. When you're at that club, you feel like Oprah. You just reach out and somebody puts whatever you want in your hand. It's like tissue. or a fucking tea or anything.

2:34:29You get a slider. You get a slider. Whatever you want, just ask for it. You can get it. Can I say at minimum, the best is just, hey, pour your own drinks. You're a fucking adult. There's just a bunch of mixers. Go do whatever. Oh, the drinks at the bar? Yeah. Well, I wanted us to have a bar. I don't want to bother a bartender. I know it's free. You don't want to tip. But there's that. Fair. You got me on that one. But there's that, too. If you want a margarita, you can ask for a margarita. That's true. You can't make a mark? Yeah, whatever you want. If you want a pizza and a margarita, they'll get it to you in 20 minutes.

2:35:03Damn! Whatever the fuck you want. Whatever you need. There's a pizza place right next door. They'll just get you a pizza. They'll come back. Bro. Somebody give me a pizza. It's not the best. It's not the best. It's not the best. I've legitimately seen homeless people turn down slices from there. It's not even a lie. They go, nah, dude, nah. Ugh. Yeah, I thought about buying that place. Yeah, bury it. Agreed. Have you ever thought about buying it and putting it in a legit high-level pizza place? Put in a vomitorium instead. It'll be better for the community. Sixth Street is a fucking vomitorium.

2:35:36Ugh. It's the best. Sixth Street blows. I love it. Sixth Street blows, dude. You've got security out there. Yeah, but it's also, it's like, I love being in the middle of the shit. Uh-huh. Ugh. That's part of why I like putting that club there. It's funny. You're in there. It's an oasis. First of all, it helps the rest of the neighborhood. It really does because it brings in a bunch of people that are there to have a good time. They're spending money. The pizza place is probably killing it because of that. The Mexican joint next door is probably killing it because of the club. I like getting drunk on 6th Street.

2:36:05The fucking food trucks are the move, dude. The food trucks on 6th Street are incredible. No, 5th and 4th is where they're good. 7th has some great ones. Over by the creek. On the way to the creek, there's some fucking burger place that's legit as fuck up there. Taco House. If you want diarrhea, if you already got a parasite, look no further than Taco House. So where'd you get a parasite? In Brazil? I think my last day, street meat. Drinking river water, you motherfucker? I think street meat. Here we got the lettuce. Everybody's saying the lettuce is bad here. What are you doing with your fingers?

2:36:33You know, whatever this is. What the fuck is this? Is this the new sign language? Every time I open Twitter, it's like, we got a new anal parasite. Yeah, lettuce is not good for you. You should eat only meat. I knew it. It's a carnivore diet. I've always known. Let's go. Let's go. Let us break. I was in Italy, and I ate so much that I almost died. It's better over there. You can eat bread in Italy. You can, but you can only eat so much. Then you push yourself. You push yourself to the glass. With me, with pizza, it's like Shane with beer. I can get to a strange point where you're like, there's no way a human can really consume that much pizza.

2:37:12You're not going to fuck a fat chick after. They need a ricotoni. Mark, don't talk about your mom like that. She's in a wheelchair, goddammit. It's his dad now. Perfect. There's new rules. Well, watch out. Perfect, she can't run. He's Larry Flint. But watch out, that killed Gandolfini. What? Your mom's in a wheelchair. Well, that might. I hit her with my car. I thought that was an engine book. I fucked her too hard. No disrespect for James Gandolfini. I'm sorry for real if she's in a wheelchair. No, no, no. She's got a bum leg. James Gandolfini and I were dealing with very different digestive systems.

2:37:51She's been dead for 30 years. Yeah, I can consume some. I can consume some fucking food. That wasn't the girl that got James. It was the coke. That was the wrong. It was the coke. The coke and the booze. What are you talking about? He ate like 17 oysters, 38. And then did coke. Oh, was it coke? Oh, he did a ton of coke. Yeah, and then drank and did coke. Oh, his list of the menu, his receipt is on the internet. I've seen the receipt. No, he did a ton of coke. It's actually not that crazy. It's like lobster claws. It's everything. Everything you want in life. like the guy was living the right like i don't think he should have died young because it would have been awesome to see him be alive yeah sure but fuck that guy did it joe when joe started making money is he had to have an intervention from his business manager to his manager they're like dude you have a gambling addiction you're just getting started your career you can't let gambling get he's like i don't gamble he's like five bucks on pool once in a while like dude clearly we've looked your finances how are you spending this much he goes oh i eat lobster every day.

2:38:47Bro, when I first got my development deal, I was eating lobster and steak every night, and I was taking my boys out. I was like, let's go. I would treat everybody. You're like a rapper. I had$150 ,000, and I was 25 years old. This is the craziest thing, and I was poor my whole life, and I was like, let's go. Sussman was like, I think you have a gambling problem. I'm like, what? Because he knew I was playing pool every night. I was like, no, I'm all right with that. He would never spend that much on regular stuff. He's like, get groceries. I'm living like a baller. I think Tim Dillon's like that.

2:39:20The food and the jets are his thing. Yeah, but he's rich. I was not really rich. I had$150 ,000 before taxes. You were fresh out of college, Rich. First job, Rich. Barely went to college. I was a dumbass. I was a dumbass with an enormous amount of money for no reason. Damn, you're on TV. Because I was boy pretty at 25. Hardball? Yeah, those hardball days. And so like I just spent I was like look if my thought was like if this goes away I should make the most out of it fuck like Portioning it off so I could live Okay for fucking 15 years fuck that let's go Did anyone ever try to suck you in Hollywood?

2:40:00Oh, yeah One comedian, but it was at Montreal a comedian at Montreal I literally had to tell him I was gonna stomp a hole in his chest What? Big J He kept touching me He kept touching me and hitting on He was drunk and kept touching me And I was like, hey, you touch me one more time I'm gonna stomp a fucking hole in your chest No way Yeah, it got gross Because it was like 2 in the morning was one of those deals And it was at the Montreal Comedy Festival It was a gay comedian who's been like hyper aggressive Is he still working? I don't really remember his last name No, no No, it wasn't him But he's that was the thing with him too He got beat up by a guy in Hawaii That guy Got beat up by a guy in Hawaii And Don Marrero was like what happened to you And he's like oh some guy beat me up And he's like oh what the fuck that's terrible And then he goes And then I got the whole story He got a little lit Hit on a regular guy That guy would be in the back When there was a new 21 year old door guy He would just be in the back going like To me that was like the first time that I ever felt like a well wasn't I didn't feel like a woman because I could kill the guy So there was a thing but it was also like the thing about like a man being aggressive sexually towards you where you didn't there was like there's no there's not a chance you're gonna convince me right that I Want to go upstairs with you like this is crazy, but it was the aggressiveness of it that I was like Ooh, this has got to be awful.

2:41:32So weird because a gay guy can just go get laid so easily. Not in Canada. I mean, this is in the 90s in Canada. But they want what they want. They got gay bars. Some guy tried to jerk me off in the back of a bus in Vietnam. Tried? How far did he get? He touched my dick. Wow. Actually, under the pants? Not over the pants. Oh, my God. I had a guy give me a stroke in a party bus once. Really? Gave me the whole stroke? In high school. I was getting blown by a girl in a party bus. And a guy went and just gave me like a full hand. Wait a minute. How did he get the girl's face away from your cock? He said something and she went, huh?

2:42:06And then he grabbed my dick and did like a shriek over there. He fucking juked her. Wait, what? Did he do a story? I was on a party bus in high school. Remember those party buses? Yeah, of course. Party buses. And we put all our money together. We rented a party bus. Can I borrow your sunglasses? I was getting blown by a lady in the back of the bus like Rosa Parks. and he said something and she popped her head up and he gave me a full stroke. Wow. And I was like, oh, and I pushed him and then was like, that was weird and then she went back. He was like, I don't care, I got the stroke. It was a goof.

2:42:36It was a goof. Very funny goof. What if he fucking, what if you popped at that moment? Stroking your boy made it out of this. You're hard. You're hard and I touched you. What if she was, what if she was blowing you when you were on the edge and this guy gave you a stroke and you were like a broken fire hydra, just, Oh, no! The walls, the windows! It was a different time. That was normal back then. Gay humor was fun. He's a Marine now, that guy. Yeah, obviously. You sure he's not in the Navy? Yeah, boy, I remember those broke days. One time I did a club. You ever do the Funny Farm in Youngstown, Ohio?

2:43:14I did not. It was a real shitbox. I did Youngstown. Tony was the door guy there. Was it the place that was connected to a club? He was. Yes! And the hotel was horrific. It was connected. I did do it. The hotel's connected to a club. The comedy club's connected to a nightclub. And then the late show, the fucking music plays. Yes. That was it. That was it. It's impossible. You're on stage. It's like. What does this have to do with the guy's jacket? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get back to the real. Let's not talk about the pay scale. Let's not talk about shitty clubs. Let's talk about you getting stroked by guys.

2:43:46Oh, all right. Well, yeah. The guy jerked me off. Was that the only other time? All the way? No, no. Just one pump. The same guy. Same story. Yeah, I'm going back to the app. If it keeps happening, you got to go, hey. This is habitual. This is odd. One stroke. This is odd. It keeps coming up. Keep getting stroked. But yeah, the funny farm, one of my first headlining gigs, you know, there's three people in the audience. But the guy goes, the owner goes, hey, you want a meal? I was like, oh my God, I want a meal. Of course. And he goes, get the swordfish. It's amazing. You got to get the swordfish.

2:44:18I was like, oh my God, swordfish. The swordfish in Young, Seattle, Ohio.

2:44:24She's been in a truck for a month. That's crazy. But, you know, when you're broken, it's exotic. You're like, oh, my God, I've got to have this. And I was like, okay, thanks. And he goes, there's a great wine. It pairs well with the swordfish because it was attached to a club kind of restaurant thing. So I was like, oh, all right. And I drank, like, you know, a bottle and a half of wine, swordfish, a couple beers, and he gave me the bill. Oh, no. And I didn't know he was charging me. No fucking way. I was getting paid like$400 for the weekend. The bill was like$380. Yeah. What? Those were the days.

2:44:59So why did you think it was free? Because the owner was going, hey, get this. He was upselling me on shit. Oh, wow. Yeah, I got fucked. So he just didn't want to pay you. I bet that was a can. He didn't want to pay you because he's not even giving you a discounted rate for the meals? No, no half off, no nothing. And you were performing that night? That's crazy. Yeah, the whole weekend. Diaz, I was going to Jacksonville. I was like, what the fuck, man? I didn't know it was free. And he's like, free? It's Swordfish. So how did it play out? It cost$1 ,000. How did it play out? I had to pay the guy, and then he gave me a check for$400 at the end of the weekend.

2:45:35But the Swordfish shit was$300. And the whole weekend was$400? Yeah, yeah. It was a dark time. Wow, what a scumbag. So many scummy owners. I mean, everybody's got those stories. What's that one story? I think it's a Joe List story where he tried to get paid and the guy just put a gun on the table and he's like, all right, I'll see you later. I had a guy who I worked for who didn't pay me. And then when he did pay me, he was a mob guy. And when he did pay me, he paid me quite a bit less. And I said, what the fuck? I said, this is not what I was supposed to get. He goes, you should be kind of happy with what you're getting.

2:46:09Oh, there you go. And I was like, all right, we're done. All right. I took the money. I was like, all right, guess I'm never working here again. And he calls me up, tried to get me to work at the club. I go, the last time you fucked me, he told me, he's like, come on. I would have worked there again in a second. Yeah, I did funny farm last week. This same guy, this same guy. He's going to fucking beat me. It was in New Haven, Connecticut. At least tax free. The same guy, I saw him beat a guy with his shoe. Whoa. He pulled his shoe off and, you know, like those slippery, like nice dress shoes. Yeah, so it's got the leather with the wood, the wooden heel.

2:46:41He's beating the guy in the face with his fucking shoe. There's blood all over his shirt. It was crazy. Woo, shiu-jitsu. Same guy. That's crazy. So this guy. I was like, okay. Was that Joker's Wild? Yep. I know that club. Yeah. That was very mob run. I did that one too. I got the swordfish. New Haven's a wild place. New Haven, Connecticut is a wild place. Good pizza, bad. A lot of Italians. A lot of Italians. Some of the best fucking pizza on earth. Pepe's. Like Dave Portnoy, when he talks about pizza, he talks about New Haven style pizza. Sally's or Freddy? Oh, there's too many Pepe's. Yeah. One of my best friends.

2:47:15There's another one. One of my bad friends, Tommy Jr. He's from... Tommy Jr. Tommy Jr. Yeah, I love those clubs where they fuck you and you're just like, I'll take it, and I'm just not going to work here again. What are you going to do? Yeah. Well, that's what I did with that guy. I never worked there again. He tried to get me to work there again, and then he tried to get me to work there after I'd been on news radio. I'm like, bro, it's over. You want to go, hey, I'm half a whop over here. You fucking didn't pay me, man. 500 bucks is 500 bucks. You didn't fucking pay me. Yeah. That's crazy. And also, you beat a guy with a shoe.

2:47:42What was the scenario there? I don't remember I think the guy was heckling and he was drunk and and that's all this dude I don't know his name this dude just pulled his fucking shoe off And he's beating this guy in the face with the heel of his shoe. I was I remember thinking I never would have thought of that But I never wear shoes like that I wear shoes that like lace up But he just he slipped that thing right off his foot and use it as a weapon. I mean the heel on that rock hard Oh, it's a fucking piece of wood. Yeah, you know he beat the guy's nose He beat him on the nose with the heel. Yeah, just grab the tip of the toe and just fucking whack, whack.

2:48:17And blood was everywhere. It was spraying off. His shirt was white and it was a splatter blood over it. The guy who was beating up was like, oh, we're not allowed to laugh? And then he had to run from the cops. Sorry, I got kicked out for laughing too loud. I was helping. I was just helping the show. I was laughing too loud. What's the Chappelle thing? I think it was the same thing. Oh, yeah. Like, literally, he came into the guy's office, and he was, like, young and, like, where the fuck's my money, man? And they put a gun on the table. Yeah. We'll figure it out. Right. Yeah, I guess we will.

2:48:46Well, that's Richard Pryor in one of his specials. I mean, it must happen. It happens. It happened to me. It happens. Like, he fucked me. I wouldn't even notice if I got fucked. But I knew how much I was supposed to get. It wasn't a lot of money. I wasn't nobody. They gave me$300. Sick. Right. Bro, I was nobody back then. Also, it was one of the worst clubs to work in terms of crowd control. There was zero. Zero. Everybody was nuts. What about that Chinese place in Massachusetts? You remember that place? You know, people just go, they were eating, they were wrapping up their food while you're on it.

2:49:21Somebody comes on stage and takes a selfie with you. No, it wasn't the Kowloon. It was the place in western Massachusetts, right? Yeah. Yeah. It was the place way out in the middle of nowhere. We only did one show there. They would just come on stage and be like, we're getting a selfie. I think it's a Bloomin' Ride. place. There's a Bloomin' Rite kick. I'm gonna whiz again, too. Don't leave. We're all just gone. Me and Norman are hanging strong. Hell yeah. What are you talking about, bro? I have two beers. How dare you? This is my second one. I had a beer. Oh my god, you had two cups? I had two beers and a part of a whiskey.

2:49:55Cups is so demeaning instead of some glasses. That fucking nicotine knocked me down for a minute. They'll get you. You just said the C on that one. Huh? You just said the C on that one instead of the G. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Cut that. I was in the green room of a place once, the office, rather, a place once, and we were getting paid. It was me and this kid. His name was, I forget his last name, but his name was Brian. He was a big guy, like a huge guy. And he was blonde, and you'd never think he was Jewish. He didn't look Jewish. And the owner of the club said something, like, I don't want to, like, I'm not trying to Jew you down.

2:50:33Yeah. And he went crazy. He lost it. He went crazy and started screaming at this guy, fuck you. You're fucking anti-Semitic. Because he didn't realize that this guy was Jewish. Brian Frazier. Right. And he was jacked, like way bigger than me. And I was like, oh my God. Like, what am I going to do here? Like, I don't want my friend to kill this guy. Yeah. And also, not much I can do. He's trying to get paid here, buddy. He's trying to get paid. And it was just an expression that people would use. I know what it's from. but they don't mean it like that. Yeah, we use that all the time. It's just a term.

2:51:07You know, it's like gypsies. You don't think of gypsies when you say it. You're like, that's a root word. You're like, that's fine. I didn't realize that. It's weird where there's certain nationalities we could completely make fun of them and it's no issue at all. Like, stop being a guinea. Like, no one cares. What is that? Like, wearing gold chains. Look at you, you look like a guinea. Like, wearing gold chains and a tank top. Guinea didn't take off as a hateful term. It doesn't matter. And they were lynched. My grandfather's day did. My grandfather told me horror stories about him being an immigrant from Italy and what he had to deal with going to school here in America and in New Jersey.

2:51:44It's crazy. It's crazy to think of anti-Polish, anti-Irish, anti-Italian. It's so specific racism. It's all just whites. So everyone has to be Anglo, I guess, from England? What is the criteria to not get beat up? It was the thing. It was like people that were coming from these Latin countries. People that are coming from Mexico, coming from Puerto Rico, people that are coming from Italy. You know, the countries that were initially Latin countries, brown people. Yeah. And Italians were thought of as brown people. Yeah, but Irish aren't brown. There was Irish need not apply. Yeah, but they were like poor and they were lower class.

2:52:19They were the people that were like working in fucking factories and working on the docks. It's crazy to have that as your racism, whites on whites. Whites on whites. Wow. A lot of Irish people were slaves. Yeah, yeah. Hey. Talk to it You want to tell We were slaves Usually a couple more beers We was kings Well you want to tell white people back then It's going to get worse If you're mad at this Irish guy Buckle up One day they're not even going to read your scripts Yeah you're going to hear like a Coming soon I'm just saying Man, I'm watching a... I don't know what it is. Once I had a kid, I got way into history.

2:53:07I don't know why. I'm obsessed with history now. What are you thinking about? Well, I'm watching all these presidential documentaries on Netflix. What do you got? They're unbelievable. Yeah, President's Rule. By the way, Ulysses S. Grant. Grant's my guy. I'm in love with this guy. He's my guy. Well, you know he went to West Point. So did Shane. I think I've said this on his show. Oh, really? I talk about Grant every fucking time. Jamie. I love Grant. Grant rules. What do you say about him? I'll talk about Grant all day. Well, one cool thing was, you know, during the war, he was a big general, and they would go, hey, what is this song?

2:53:40It doesn't have an headphones on, god damn it. Is it Iceman? I was in the middle of a story here.

2:53:49What about Grant? We had to give him some music for his child. Let's go. So Grant was the big general in the Union Army. If I hear somebody else talking about Grant, I get jealous and mad. He went to West Point. He went to college with a bunch of other guys who all got put into the war. Longstreet. And a lot of them were Confederate. So they'd be like, we got to go beat up. We got to go kill a bunch of people at this fort in Georgia. And he's like, who's the head guy over there? And they'd go, whatever, Sherman. And he'd go, I went to school with that guy. He's a pussy. We can take him. So he knew everybody.

2:54:20So he'd be like, oh, I played ball with that guy. He's a bitch. We can kill him. How crazy is that? He knew everybody. That's exactly what happened to Mark. You're exactly right. That shit rocks. Amazing. It's like my favorite thing about Grant. I mean. You want to know some other cool things about Grant? Please. We could talk Grant all day. Let's talk Grant. He was kind of a loser for a while. He was a loser. He tried every farming, all this shit. Well, the big thing for him was after West Point, he went and fought in Mexico. Mexican War. Yes. What? California. He was a great cavalryman, and he fought under Robert E.

2:54:51Lee alongside of him. In Mexico? Against whom? Against the Mexicans and the Spanish. Oh, America. But he found out that he remembers seeing Robert E. Lee being nervous before battle. He's going to keep that with him the rest of his life. But after the war, he gets sent out west. And because there's no war. There's it's just they're just he's just at a post. He misses his babe. He comes to the demon rum. He's drinking. Yeah. He gets kicked out of the he gets kicked out of the army for being a drunk. Goes home, frees his slaves while he has zero dollars. That's true. He married his slaves. His family.

2:55:37He came from abolitionist parents, but he married into his wife. Her family had slaves when he gets home. Wow. Wait a minute, you left out a part. He would free the slaves and he would bring them down to the courthouse and they'd go, dude, you can get like 2 ,000 bucks for this guy. Yeah, I know. And he was like, no, no, no, let him go. I was getting to it. Oh, sorry. And then he frees the slaves. You want a real cigarette? This is worth like a house. You want one of these? Yeah, yeah. What are you doing? Yeah. And then he works at his dad's general store, his father-in-law's general store. He's working as a fucking clerk at a general store.

2:56:10He's like, this guy's a bum. When the war breaks out, he is a fucking clerk. He's working a register at a store When the war breaks out by the end of the war he's controlling the entire Union army exactly four years then becomes president He's working the fucking register at a grocery store. It's like a St. Louis court cardinal's quarterback story It really is the fucking man And he was great on a horse So he took the world by storm because he went out in the middle of the battlefield and did the thing where he goes on the side of the horse That was in Mexico. He definitely didn't do that in the Civil War He did the side of the horse like the natives?

2:56:43He went on the side of the horse so they couldn't shoot him, and then he popped up and killed a bunch of people. I mean, the guy was a complete badass. He was the man. And then just thinking, all those young guys who volunteered. You got to think of these old wars. They don't just have to fight. They have to go to a place. I went to Fort Sumter on Saturday. No way. I was standing there on Saturday. That's crazy. Fuck with the Civil War. Wow. Do you know how bored people must have been back then? They were like, just put me in war. Please. To care that much? No, no, no. To care that much? Well, there was that.

2:57:12But there's always that and that's every now That's literally every war every war every single guy not all of them now But like it's always been like it's gonna be adventure like again All quiet on the Western front and it was something that they looked forward to like Romantically because the way their grandparents talked about it their fathers talked about when people talked about war back then It was a responsibility a duty totally man a man stood up for his country And also the country was so young. I know you're really fighting for something The country was 100 years old. A lot of guys would deserve to.

2:57:43Not even 100 years old, right? It's like about 1776. Yeah. It's 100 years old. That's so recent. But FDR had, what, four sons? They all went to war. So he's like, ah, shit, I'm starting a war with Germany. I got to put my money where my mouth is. You sending your troops, I'll send my four sons to war. Wow. And then, you know, some died. Jesus. Stalin did that. Stalin had a - Well, he's a psycho. He had a policy of like - Dude, you made me read that book on Stalin. I started reading it. I got maybe a chapter in. It's the worst book of all time. I can't do it. That's worse than Annie Jacobson. It's the worst book of all time.

2:58:24It's called Bloodlands. It's about the Eastern Front. It's the worst - Against the Nazis? It's the Nazis and the Soviets. And what happened to Belarus and Ukraine and - Oof, my own. Bro, they starved. Really? Yeah, Ukraine was the the holomador was one of the worst things that's ever happened So is communism the gayest shit ever? It's the worst shit. Somebody needs to look into how gay communism is. Isn't it crazy that it's making a comeback? Yeah, it always does It's a cycle. There's a cycle is is if we cannot call communism if we get free health care, right? That would be a good move. That would help a lot.

2:59:02We're calling everybody communist that was free healthcare. Free healthcare is cool. Yeah. We should have that. It's normal. That's not communism. We should have healthcare and education. You should treat the entire country like it's a community. If you have a community, would you want the sickest person to fucking die who could be very valuable if you could take care of them? And do you have the resources to take care of them? Of course you should. We're a rich country. Exactly. You do it with libraries. It's no big deal. This is the problem with capitalism. We don't feel like a community. This is the reason why people turn on all these billionaires.

2:59:32They turn on them because they why do you have so much when people have so little but it's because it's the game It's the game that they're playing and you're playing the game too. You're just not playing it at that level But again these rich people pay a lot and give a lot of services But yeah, there's that but also the services the amount of money that they get is all going to corrupt people that are funneling into their own Bank accounts. Yeah, that's the problem with it through Ireland There's too many non-profits and NGOs and you know you find out that the homeless people that are running the nonprofits in LA like somebody just sent me like here I'll send it to you Jamie.

3:00:06I guess that Marshall Rogan going. It's so crazy when you look at the amount of money that is Being paid to the people that run the homeless Divisions it's like it's fucking bananas like it's crazy. It's insane amounts of money. Yeah, we're in a tough spot The hobos the CEO of the homeless thing in LA made 1.6 million dollars Wow Yeah, and the president makes 200 grand and you're doing a bad job And you're also doing a bad job. You're also not – there's no way someone could justify you getting a raise. There's no way someone could justify you getting that salary when you're objectively failing.

3:00:37Yeah. But then you want to – people want higher minimum wage and stuff, but I'm like, that's not going to do it. Well, higher minimum wage is not the worst thing in the world. No, I'm not against it. I'm just saying that's going to solve everything. Well, it won't solve everything. You've got to come to a restaurant. It won't solve everything. But if you knew, if you were a person that had a lot of money and you knew that if you paid more taxes, it was going to go to make everybody feel better, the world would be better. The education would be better. People would have food. You would have free health care.

3:01:04Schools would have nutritious meals. L.A. shelter provider has paid CEO who lives in Hawaii$1.6 million in salary and vacation over two years. That's bananas. Two years. That is literally insane. So that's a slush fund. That's not someone doing it because they care. That's someone doing it because it's very profitable. And it's a slush fund. And this is why they tried so hard to keep Spencer Pratt from being the mayor of L.A. Because he wanted to expose all that shit. And they mock him and make fun of him. And I did, too. Until you talk to him, you're like, oh, he's actually a very smart guy. And he's really well-read in this stuff.

3:01:38He really understands what he's talking about. They try to write him off. Yeah, they try to write him off. Well, also reality star. Also, oh, he's a grifter. But he's actually, they're all grifters. Everyone that person's grifter. They're all grifters. Everyone's making a shit load of money Pretending that they care and not doing any good. No one is fixing anything the thing keeps getting worse. It is we're getting worse Everything's good. They spent 24 billion dollars on the homeless problem in California and it only got worse and then when they tried to do an audit Newsom vetoed it he wouldn't let them do an audit because everyone's taking their piece Grant gets a hold of the army in the West and he starts making some noise out there Lincoln's going I got a bunch of these generals out east they're scared they're all scared of Robert E.

3:02:23Lee they got fucking McClellan McClellan's a bum he's afraid to move forward Robert E. Lee was a good general unbelievable I'm from the south we'll fast forward eventually they go this guy's been going nuts out on the west let's bring him in And then he immediately is like, I remember Robert E. Lee. He was just as scared as I am. I'm not afraid of him. Everybody in the North was afraid of Robert E. Lee. They're like, this guy's a genius. He's going to fuck us up. Grant was the one guy that was like, he's just as afraid as I am. Also, we got more guys. We can turn this into a war of attrition real quick.

3:03:02Let's see who loses more guys quickly or quicker. And he just, he attacks. It's wonderful. It's unbelievable. And then General Sherman, his boy. So they're boys. Sherman and Grant are boys. and Sherman has a nice quote. He was like, I helped out Grant when he was drunk. Grant helped me when I was crazy. We're boys forever. Sherman's like, bro, let me get an army. Let me just march south and just fuck them up. So these were the only two guys also that treated the south like, these are traitors. Wow. Like, they always, like, the guys like McClellan, all these other guys, they were like, these are gentlemen.

3:03:40Robert E. Lee's a gentleman, all this. Sherman and Grant were like, yo, fuck these guys. They're traitors. They should be hung for what they're doing, dude. They're going against America. They're trying to leave the United States. Could you imagine if Robert E. Lee won? It wasn't that far off. It was. We let them. The North had kid gloves on. You think? I mean, they lost a lot of guys, too. We lost more than them, but even Shelby Foote, who's a famed Southern historian, It was like the North was fighting with one arm What's that Jamie really fucking badass sword is that at Hinchcliffe's house Sword when he took over the federal army in 1864 it's been sold at auction though recently crazy for grant how much Last time it sold it was five million.

3:04:29It was worth that for granted Yeah, I got I have Sherman's map when he marched through South Carolina with his pencil markers. How'd you get it? Francis Ellis gave me it. What? Try showing a lady that who comes over. I do. I do. That was only 1.6 million. Are you going to kill me? And I go, here's my O.J. Simpson rushing trophy. And they go, he's definitely going to kill me. That was only one. Jamie has O.J. Simpson's golf clubs. What? Well, me and Jamie were in the same auction. I got his rushing trophy. I got all of his ties. Jamie got the golf clubs. Kim Kardashian was in the same auction, too.

3:05:07What was she trying to get? Who got the glove? Diary or something like that. Me and her were bidding against each other. Were you really? Yes. And I ended up winning a bunch of them. I had a couple drinks. I didn't think I was going to win all these. I won so many. I have an autographed picture of Bill Clinton and O.J. from Bill Clinton that's like, To my dear friend O.J. Whoa. So fun. And it was extremely expensive. And anytime somebody comes to my house, I go, check this out. And they go, cool. I go, fuck. I'd get a photo with that. I would get jazzed up. I'd get hard as a rock. Look at that.

3:05:44There it is. There it is. That's the one I got. My dear friend. That's fun. My dear friend, OJ Sampson. He's a big, tall, handsome man. From SF. Bro, it's funny watching his old political speeches. Two legends. Yeah, Police Academy. Yeah, Nordberg. Yeah. He's great. Hertz Commercials. Hertz Commercials, yeah. He was in Police Academy? Yeah. Naked Gun. Naked Gun. Yeah, that's right, man. Same thing. All right. Spinoff. Same shit. Sorry. I wasn't sure if he was in both. I wasn't being a cunt. Now, could you make a movie like that today? Make a gun? Yeah. You could, but you'd have to finance it independently.

3:06:19They did make it. Oh, yeah, they did. They just remade it. Well, they remade it. They literally just did. The answer is yes. Could you make a movie like that? You can make any movie today. All right, good, because I'm making one. Well, you know as much as anybody. All they're asking for is that. Me and Samarill wrote one. We're shooting in October. Nice. What is it? Everybody wants a movie. It's just a raunchy 80s style comedy. Nice. Yeah, we're shooting. We got financing. I can't believe some guy's giving us money. Theo and David Spade just did one. Oh, yeah. I heard that was hilarious. I heard it was hilarious.

3:06:46Yeah, yeah. It's nice. It's nice that people are doing shit like that. We're trying. Well, yeah, the gatekeepers. Oh, Tires comes out tomorrow. Fuck off. Hey. We're doing this. Season three. How about that? Wow. Tires. How much does that consume of you? Good question. What did I miss? What did I miss? How difficult is it? Three months. Three months is quick. Gilly takes on a lot of it. Keeves. Right, right, right. Sorry, I'm a little drunk. He's getting hit. The rest of the guys, I mean, I help write, but I can do that from afar. McKeever writes a lot of it. Yeah. He's a talent. Just write it.

3:07:34I'll show up. and he's the train. It's so awesome. And it seems like Netflix has very little to say. You just kind of do it and give it to them. That's so dope. They've never changed anything. That's so dope. Sarandos is the man. Sarandos is so cool. He's such a good dude. I've known that guy forever. Really? Yeah, I did a Netflix special for them in 2005 when it was still like... Five? Yeah. Five? Was it discs? Yeah, it was discs. Whoa. I was like, I might have been the first. Which one? I might have been the first Netflix special. Jamie, can you show that? Live from Phoenix. Can you show that?

3:08:04I think you were there. We did that show at the Improv in Tempe. We did it at the Improv. We filmed it. Good club. Great club. This is just a real conversation that me and Steve. Congratulations. Yeah. All right. Thanks. Did you go down on her? Yeah, a little. It's like bare minimum is 15 minutes. Planning for potentially 45. 45 minutes? Who told you that? I read it. You have a book about how to eat pussy? Yeah. Bro, every day you say shit that makes me. like I you're giving me a headache O 'Connor try not to laugh he Gerben had a book about how to eat pussy where'd he get it oh that's real oh that's all the game whoa immediately into the script who wrote it whoa can I get that book uh I forget no offense I'm not being at that same time obviously a Jewish person but yeah we're writers you guys love no but you guys also love sexuality but eat pussy yeah nothing wrong with that I'm good at it black people take notes DJ Khaled And another one but Gervies Gervies has a book on how to eat pussy and he talks about a lot and it bothers me immensely Where do you get the book?

3:09:10There's no way it says it It's called how to eat pussy I mean it could be Hold on I do actually know the name of the book it's called she comes first Oh no I've heard of that I've heard of that book Of course you have It's like everybody poops Everybody's little kids book It's right next to Anne Frank's diary You teach your children how to eat pussy Jesus Christ She comes first There it is Is that a papaya? Gerby's 250 ,000 copies That's not great In sex instruction Number one bestseller in pussy eating It shit pisses me off It bothers me And he's like well yeah I do that And then I bring her home and I go And then sometimes you just tickle the front at first You're like dude disgusting You have a playbook on this So he is that guy None of us are acting Wow.

3:09:58It's totally. Kyla is the most. Kyla is the most. Kyla is the most. Kyla is the most. Kyla is the most. Kyla is the most. Kyla is the most. She's such trash. She does. It's hilarious. She does so well this season. Really? Yeah. It rules. I'm excited for people to see that. Fun. It's very exciting. You got Soda in there. Soda's in it this year. Is Ron White in it? Ron White's not in it. Not this season. What happened? Bobby Lee. He just had one episode. Bobby Lee's in it this season. Nice. Foley Stav. Nice. Foley killed. Foley's amazing. Foley is so fucking funny. He's a funny fucker. He's like the best guy ever.

3:10:31Yeah, he's a good hang. Foley rules. He is the best hang. He's got stories, but we can't get into it. We can get into something. No. Me and him have already talked about this on a podcast. It's like my favorite Foley story. Because in Philly, he was a demon. Yeah. Like a fucking real demon. Yeah. Him and Chris Cotton would fight. We'd go to the Raven Lounge. They would fist fight. Really? Dude, it was crazy. Just met each other? Yes. Everyone was on coke. The second somebody got on stage, two fat guys in the back were like, hey, shut the fuck up. Fuck you. But Foley had a thing. He was telling me a story about it.

3:11:07He brought home a hooker, and he was - This is all cool to talk about? I don't want to get the guy in trouble. We've talked about it before. On air? Foley has a podcast called, are you garbage? I know. He said he was bouncing. he was on coke bouncing on a yoga ball he's like 400 pounds poor yoga ball according to his story which is my favorite version is he was smoking a cigarette he's got a hooker in there like standing in front of him like dancing in an empty room he's on a yoga ball and the cherry from the cigarette fell and popped the yoga ball wow i was like might have been i was like brother that was you.

3:11:46I love the experience, like the idea of him, a 400 pound guy like, yeah baby I like that shit. Boom! Just a fat guy on his back. That stripper got a good laugh. Or hooker, sorry. He is fully fucking He's a treasure. He's a national treasure. That's alright. Let's bring this home. Oh really? We're gonna get it. We're just getting started. Come on Joe. What do you want to do? You want to talk about Fauci? 7 o 'clock show. I gotta pee. Go pee. Come back. I'll be back. Let's keep it. All right. We're gonna pee in a bottle. Yeah, I'm drunk enough. Could you hand me a beer? Absolutely, sir. I beat Rogan on The Wiz.

3:12:22How many hours are we in, though? Three. We're doing well. Jamie. Delete the first hour. It was worthless. Jamie, bring up Jeremiah Love Touchdown's highlights. And just play it in the back. We'll talk about other shit. That's a good whiskey there. Bodega Cat. I love Bodega Cat. Get a bottle. Very nice. I stole one from your studio last time. I was always on me. I might be drunk. I just grabbed whatever I could. I was like, I'm just in New York for a month, and I don't want to buy a bottle of liquor. Don't give this guy an apartment in London. He'll steal from you. They're doing it. They're not giving me one.

3:12:53I love you calling yourself an immigrant. It's so fun. It's so fun, bro. It pisses me off every time you do it. It's so fun. Technically, it's true. Yeah. That's why he's doing it. He's not an immigrant. That's why he's doing it. Yeah. There's no immigration problem in London. Actually, it's very difficult to get a house as an immigrant. Shut up. I love it. I also tell them, you know, soccer, the term came from you guys. Well, that's fun. Association. And they go, it's football. I'm like, that's not according to you, though. That's true. That's fun. I love calling them on their shit. It's so fun.

3:13:24Those soccer games are amazing. Isn't it? Isn't it? Also, by the way, college football destroys soccer. What? I'll love it. I'll love it. Let's just watch my guy. Wow Look at the Look at the Catholic royalty In the uniform Bro look up Cain highlights That is a white outfit I've seen Harry Cain I've seen all of his Fucking bitch ass clothes Harry Cain is good Harry Cain He spits when he talks That Bellingham He's a sexy Sexy black I just lost fucking Jed Huh? They gave up Spence I don't know what that means This is wonderful stuff There you go Watch this one You guys are gonna like this You're gonna like it It's Barry Sanders shit.

3:14:09Not down. Not down. Whoa. I've never seen that move. Not down. He did a full of yoga ball in that game. You're going to like this stuff. 45 after. That's good, Jamie. So wait, you were shooting arrows? Yeah. You were shooting arrows for two hours today? Who did you hit? Yeah. Today. Is she shooting migrants? Did your arm get worn out from that? Coming over? No. I was playing MLB the show. I do it constantly. I'm used to doing it. Really? Yeah. How's the bullseye? It's great. You stuff your kills? What's that? You stuff your kills? Stuff them? No. No, I turn them into Euro mounts. It's just the skull and the antler.

3:14:44Nice. Let me ask you, if you hit a guy with an arrow, how many, would it kill him? Yeah. 100%. I don't think so. It kills a 700-pound buck. We can find out right now. Is it killing elk? Yes, it kills elk. Well, you got a fucking high-powered, crazy ass. That's the answer. I'm talking about a bow and arrow from a Chata. Kill a guy. That's how they killed every Belgian immigrant. Oh, my God. This is a crazy question. That's how most people die. They were weapons. Well, have you seen the Odyssey? The guy gets hit with 18 arrows and he's walking away. It's a movie. That movie, that part, I like the movie, but that part bothers me.

3:15:18There's also black Greeks. Yeah, good point. Joe, they were. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, you 100 % can kill a person. You know what I just watched last night was The Northman. Oh, I see that. I saw it in theaters and didn't like it when I saw it the first time. What? I saw it on a plane. It's just fun. It's all fun. I re-watched it last night. It's so sick. It's so sick. It's a good time. It's one of the sickest movies. Eggers is the man. It's awesome. Yeah, Robert Eggers is the fucking man. Who's the actor or director? Director. He did Nosferatu. Did he do The Vich? Yes. And he's doing The Werewolf.

3:15:55The Vich is really good. And he's doing The Werewolf. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be sick. Everything he's done rules. Everything rules. But The Vich was really good. Dude, fucking ruled. Vitch ruled. Movies are back. Nosferatu is the greatest vampire movie of all time. Of all time. Nothing. Bram Stoker's Dracula was great. Nosferatu took it to a totally new level. Lighthouse was fun. Yeah, that's right. We've all been there. The Vitch was great. Nosferatu is for sure. Hansel and Gretel? I never saw that one. By the way, Obsession was one of the best movies of all time. Brothers was killer.

3:16:26Obsession was so fucking good. Can we see how funny Obsession was, though? The first half? It was so funny. when it's just like clearly this is just having a nightmare girlfriend the scene where he's like dude it's guys night and he's like I don't care I'm not afraid to tell her he's like okay tell her then he's like alright fine and he's in his car and he hangs up and then like scary music starts playing and he goes inside and he's like so I think I'm gonna go over to Tim's she's like okay great I'll get ready and he's like it's just gonna be the guys and she's like How about when she Taped over the door Hilarious It's like this slow build to complete insanity To the scene in the car And she kills the other girl Spoiler alert So good She ruled And that's the crazy thing about it No one was known Overnight She can't walk down the street anymore She's friends with a comic in New York She came into the cellar once and it was like just getting from wherever they were on 6th to the cellar.

3:17:29It took like 40 minutes. Wow. That can't be. We went with Kanye, and it wasn't that. He took the car around to the store. He didn't walk with us, did he? Come on, brother. Did he walk with us to the store? Did he walk with us? Yes. I don't remember that. We were walking me, you, Louis, Rock, Chappelle. I don't remember Kanye walking with us. And Kanye was welcome. It was so fucking cool. That's a great crew. That's a great photo. Somebody should have got ahead of you guys and took a photo of that It was so fun It's the funniest group of dudes of all time This is how funny Tommy Pope is It was me and my buddies We got there first And Tommy is obliterated from the flight And then Kanye comes No, Chappelle comes in first He's sitting with us And he's like, Kanye's here, we should talk to Kanye And I was like, yeah, please, obviously And then Kanye comes and sits with us And then walks away Anyway, we hang out with Kanye all night.

3:18:23The next morning, Tommy's like, I'd love to meet Kanye. I'd fucking, that'd be awesome. You hung out with him all night, you drunk fucking. Oh, wow. You spent the whole night with him. It was so fucking cool. They were going, Chappelle came, just randomly. They weren't here to meet us. He just showed up. Rock showed up. Louis showed up. No, then he goes, Rock and Louis are here. I was like, bring him down. What? Okay. Whoa. And then Chappelle's like, I'm going to smoke a joint. Sam J went back there, and I was like, I think I kind of want to go back there and smoke joint with them and then he's like shane's like well you can't go now i'm like why not you didn't see you went back there i'm like no it's kanye i'm like it would seem like i'm going just for that and then i went uh but yeah it was it was hard wrangling them to be like because i was the one that was like we should probably do stand-up tonight right fellas because it's you guys yeah and the only one that was like definitely was kanye kanye was like yes oh that'd be fun did he go on No, he just went and stood.

3:19:22He did. He stood on the stage for a second. Yeah. Weird. But he was the one that was on. How long ago was this? May? It was in May. So Chappelle goes on. He goes, at first, my idea was like, I'm going to just go up and bring Shane on. Then Chappelle's like, I'm going to host. Yeah. Look at that. Oh, yeah. Chappelle goes on and does seven minutes. Oh, this is LA. Yeah. Chappelle goes on and does seven minutes. Nicole was on, had no idea who was in the back, which was all these guys. And so we're in the back row, and it's Shane and Mitzi's chair, Louis right next to him, or vice versa. I'm right there.

3:19:53And they go, hey, Kanye's people need these chairs. And Louis and Shane at first were just comics. Like, oh, okay. And they looked at each other, and they just go, no. We're comics. What a list. It's a cancel fest. I love it. Chappelle went on and did seven minutes, and he goes, it's a cancel comedy cavalcade. He brought on Shane to his roast jokes. He goes, it gets better. This next guy was a horrible person to women. brings up Louie and then he goes and then he goes this next guy is even worse spoke about someone's wife and got slapped in the face for it oh my god and he brought on Chris Rock this is midnight and onwards oh my god was the crowd going bananas it was the 27 of them and they were like what the fuck and then Barris closes it out isn't that amazing only 27 people saw that yeah that's amazing Don Barris Don Barris killed killed that's a funny son of me Don Barris followed and killed wow dude they were in the back Kanye's got Give Me the Ox.

3:20:46He's just playing unreleased tracks. What? Stuff he likes, and then his own stuff that's unreleased. Heil Hitler. He's a wonderful night. Damn, that's amazing. He explained his mania. Really? What did he say? He goes, guys, it wasn't about the Jews. It could have been about immigrants. It could have been about gays. He goes, Chappelle, I went after you. I was crazy. I was crazy. Oh, that's cool. He goes, I wasn't in my right mind. I went next to Charles, and he just goes, he points at me. I was like, he goes, that guy has a bit about it. And I was like, wait, what is Charles Charles like Charles like do you hear that?

3:21:19I'm like, I thought I did Did he just say that guy has a bit about it? Yeah, he's just like it was so fucking cool. That's bananas Everyone's up there Ross is back there. Kali quali's there. It was great. It was great Hodgepodge of opinions on Judaism. It really was Chappelle was like you can't they're trying to get Kanye's like I think I should play Israel He's like you can't play a totalitarian regime. I was the only one that was like, hey, don't do that. You can't play a totalitarian regime. I was like, didn't you go to Saudi Arabia? That was a great festival. Dude, I had to pick up my luggage from your hotel right afterwards.

3:21:56You went to the Saudi Festival? I would go again. Good shows? I mean, I got a world of shit, but it was so fun. I feel like you skated more than anybody. Yeah, I didn't hear anything about you getting shit. I didn't stay for anything. They said, you can't talk about this. Yeah, you don't stand for shit, so you're not a hypocrite. They said, you can't talk about this. They gave you a list of stuff. And you're like, I don't know how many bits about that. And I was like, oh, okay, this is like half my act. Like what? Everything. Oh, you know, can't fuck with the government, can't fuck with trans, can't fuck with gay, can't do this.

3:22:23Can't fuck with trans? No trans or gay jokes? You can't support trans or gay people. Support. Right, so that was fine. That's what they said? Stuff like that. A lot of that stuff. Literally just a mothership set. Right. Just the contract you sign when you do the mothership. But I got on stage. In blood. Everybody got in my head, like, be careful out there, man. They're going to chop your hands off. It's going to be crazy. And I was like, oh, God. You're a shoplifter. Yeah, that's true. So I got there, and I'm like, I land on the plane. Don't shoplift in Saudi Arabia. No, no, not that crazy. I got one cliff bar from Hudson News.

3:22:59But I landed, and I'm like, women are driving? This place has gone to shit. Like, the whole thing was, it's all a ruin. It's not that crazy. So then I got to the hotel, and I did one night, because I was like, I better get in, better get out, they're going to kill me. And it was great, they couldn't have been more hospitable, and I did the show, and I was like, oh God, what am I going to talk about? My whole act is cut in half, and then you know when you're on stage, and you get in that rhythm, and you just do your act, because it's all you know? I just did my act, and I did everything they said not to do, and it was fine.

3:23:31I did Muslim jokes, I was like, oh, you guys get high, what do you stone each other? You know, shit like that. And they're like, ah! They were the best crowd ever. They were so nice. It was great. And I got the hell out of there. Well, imagine, like, you've never had comedy there. And all of a sudden, you have the best comics in the world. Yeah. Kind of crazy. Yeah, there were some great comics there. I mean, you saw the list. No, nobody was reporting them. I said no. I said no. Yeah, Tony said no, too. They offered Tony a lot of money. He said no. So funny. They went after the right-wing comics.

3:23:59And the right-wing comics are the only ones that go, no. And then in a row, it's like, these right-wing comics. It's like, there's only 11. Well, that wasn't the roast. It was only Chelsea. It was only Chelsea. And somebody probably wrote that. The whole thing was ridiculous. It was a total straw man. She's doing good. You're right. We support her. Super, super good. I love Chelsea. I think she's doing good. I liked her. We had a nice time together. She had a good set. She killed. It's all the stuff she says when you're not around. Yeah. Once you leave, that's when she starts chirping. But she was very nice in person.

3:24:27That's the problem with a lot of people. That's why social media sucks. Yeah. It brings it out of you. It's all these people that shit on Joe Rogan. And they go on his podcast and don't say shit. You're signaling. You got to signal, yeah. You're signaling. And then, you know, you have to signal after you leave. Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah. You knew who was on it when you signed up, you know? Yeah. You go to an orgy, you can't be mad you got jizzed on. Could have just not gone. Yeah. That's a good point. Thank you. Thank you. Well, I have a point. All right, guys. Are you guys... Let's talk a little college football.

3:24:59Let's talk a little. What about... We got to get back to Grant. We can talk Grant. We talk Civil War all day. Are we going on tonight? What's the plan here? Well, I ain't. We're drinking for DeRosa. Oh, we got DeRosa's coming out party. I'm going to have a nice time. Bar hopping. What are you guys going bar hopping? He got on Netflix. Joe DeRosa's on Netflix for the first time. I know. He did the show yesterday. That is a great fucking special. It's a great special. No humor involved. He was on the show last night, too. He killed last night. He's a funny Egyptian adopted person. He's a fun dude, too.

3:25:26Yeah. Fun to hang out with. Too fun. Best drinker. Most of the time, he's a great hang. yeah he could flip on you he'd be a little baby every once in a while yeah absolutely he'll have to have a heart to heart with you once in a while nobody loves a heart to heart heart to heart let's talk to someone are we doing that now I'm adopted he's also whatever he's also the king of going it can be the most minuscule thing on earth when you're too drunk and he's like come on let's do shots I'm like dude we're so bombed this is such a bad idea and he's like fucking pussy do a shot he's gone nine minutes later at KFC and he's asleep he loves KFC he loves it KFC does rule.

3:26:01He eats like shit. I haven't had it in 20 years, but KFC rules. Here's what a dirtbag he is. We got drunk one night. This is 10 years ago in New York. And he's like, we got to go to KFC. I was like, ah. And the only one open was in Penn Station. So it's me and him in Penn Station at like 4 in the morning, eating next to like a homeless guy. It was the saddest night of my life. And he's like, this is the best KFC. I've tried them all. This one's good. He's crazy. Savannah KFC. KFC Penn Station. He's the Anthony Bourdain of KFC. The best was during COVID because he was in the neighborhood when you were like, it was noon.

3:26:33And you're like, hey, they're serving beers outside. He goes, I'll meet you in 10. And then you just call Jay. No one was doing anything. And Jarosa was just always down to booze. Always. Easiest guy to convince. There's one little pushback and you go, I got a shot. And he's like, all right. I got a business meeting later. He's like, you sure? He goes, I'll meet you. Yeah. That was it. How are those Voodoo Rangers treating you? They're good. They're solid. I like them. All right. All right. Why don't you buy one more beer? Yeah, come on, live your life, Joe. You're on the nickname, Joe. It's your birthday.

3:27:04Hey, J-Mo, can you cue up a birthday song by Drake? One of these things, these voodoo IPAs. Hey, did Bert get back on the... No, give me a bottle. I know Brad Pitt's drinking, which is exciting. Shout out to him. Shout out to BP. Didn't even know he was sick. Yo, you're going to bong a voodoo ranger? Oh, man. You're bonging a voodoo. It's like chugging gravy. That's hard. Chuck and gravy Yeah, play this for Joe's birthday Wait, is Bert back on the wagon? I don't think so I think he's still not drinking No way I thought he was off in July No, I think he's Look, he had some serious fucking health issues Yeah, for 30 years Yeah, but he had crazy blood clots Obesity Blood clots Three vaccinations I said that, that was funny He took three of those fucking mRNA vaccines Now Conor McGregor's trying to piggyback.

3:28:00Conor McGregor stopped doing alcohol? That's so funny. I'm switching off Coke. I'm switching off Coke. I'm going back to alcohol. He doesn't have a leg to stand on. I think he's basically selling his stout. He has, what's it called? Black Forge. Black Forge, yeah. Gentleman. Happy birthday, Big Cliff. Happy birthday. Hey, you're going to be 60 soon. That's crazy. Damn, you're so fast. That was good. That was fast. You still got it. Fully level. That was a fresh one. That was cold. Chill, bro. Yes, Joe. Yes. I'm used to the cold punch. I can take cold temperatures. Wow. Down your throat. Better than hot ones.

3:28:44Hot and thick. It's a good show. I haven't done it. What? Yeah, what are you waiting for? Hot one woods. It's a ridiculous way to answer questions. Wait, what? I hated it. Hot one woods. Really? Hot ones. He ate the hot wings and he answered questions. I was hungover. Wings are perfect for that. I always eat wings when I'm hungover. It's actually great. The wings were great. Oh, that's nice. And he's very nice. He's the man. He's cool. Very nice guy. I met him at the store. It was just, yeah, he's the man. I just suck at that type of, I'm not good at that type of interview. It's a crazy way to do a conversation where you're dying from fucking sauce.

3:29:18The best was Conan. Conan called in his own medical staff. He killed it. Conan killed it. He was so good. He was called in a medical staff. He rubbed hot sauce all over his face. He's chugging milk. It was fun. It was great. I was crushing the milk. Milk helps. That's the move. He was like, you drink a lot of milk. You should really get raw milk with all the creams in it. That's the move. That'll really coat your throat. What about jizz? You get raw milk. Huh? Where do you get raw milk? I drink it every week. Where do you get it? Get it at a farmer's market. The Amish, brother. Yeah. I drink raw milk.

3:29:52I drink a gallon of raw milk every week. You know what I like about the Amish? Home milk is so good. The Amish is cool because they don't force it on anybody. They do their own bullshit. They're in the buggy. They're churning butter. They don't push it on it. They also don't have autism. The only people in the Amish community that have autism is adopted kids that were already vaccinated. Dude, they said if you switch off lactose, it cures autism in a lot of people. But that's probably the raw. It's the not raw. It's that they're not vaccinated. They don't take kids and just jab them up filled with aluminum and fucking mercury.

3:30:22But milk is also a thing. For autism, yeah. What? Yeah, and it might be the non-raw milk. Well, milk, I think the issue with milk is it does cause... They definitely have autism. Yeah, the ones that... The children that they found that have autism are the ones who were adopted. They just don't go to the doctor. They don't have anything. That's actually a good point. That's possible. However, the instances of autism are significantly lower. Jamie works for the Fed. He does. He's compromised. I grew up around these people, and they're certainly autistic. Ohio State fans? Without a doubt autistic.

3:30:59I grew up next to Lancaster. I mean, we would drive by them. They'd be in their buggies. We'd roll down the window, play music real loud, be like, how do you like a taste of the good life, you sack of shit? Well, they're allowed to escape and do that, what is it called, Rumpelstiltskin? Rumpelstiltskin. Yeah. Yeah. You ever see that documentary? Yes. There's a documentary about it? It's kind of crazy. The girls go off. So you watch these kids just go fucking nutty for a year? For two straight years, back-to-back Notre Dame games, Indiana has some Amish, and they would go to Notre Dame football games and tailgate the guys that were on Rumspring.

3:31:31You can be on Rumspring as long as you want. It's not like one year. But you can only do it once, and then you come back, and that's it. You get as long as you want. You can go until you're like 45 and be like, all right, I'm coming back. Wow. But these boys were getting active, and they are fully autistic. Dude, Joe, not only are you wrong, every single one of these boys was autistic. They had fucking bowl cuts. And were getting shit housed. Are you sure? And they're not just completely isolated from the regular world? And they're yoked. Dude, these are the strongest dudes. Well, they're building bars.

3:32:07Oh, yeah. They were so strong. And their faces. Dude, Jamie, bring up those Amish guys that got arrested. It'll come up. Amish mug shots. Wait till you see the faces these boys have. They're fucking wild looking, dude. They look good. It's such a good line to walk in on. Bring up those Amish dudes who got arrested. Whoa! Look how thick! They're thick! They're all tracked. Inbred. Whoa! His chin is like a sheepherder in England. Do you know how nasty that O line is? You get fucking five of those motherfuckers. Look at that guy. Wow! Look at that motherfucker. It's interesting, like why the religious fanatics always go with the beard?

3:32:45no mustache. Yeah, why not a mustache? Let it all go. It's weird. Beard no mustache is strange. That's a sick look, dude. What is beard no mustache? Rotten and bone cut in an orange jumpsuit, dude. You're a legend. Who's that at the far right? Look at that. Yeah, you're right. They go off the stache. It's Oliver Tree's parents. Beard no Shut up. Shut up. Oliver Tree. What a mensch. He died in a plane crash, right? Helicopter. In Brazil. He ruled all the way through. He was the man. He was the best. You know those Amish? I used to see them in Wawa all the time. Those kids. Some of them are Mennonite.

3:33:20They look Amish, but they're not. Oh, is that what that is? Do you remember when we were doing a gig in Western Massachusetts, and we pulled into a rest stop, and there was those ladies, they were Mennonite ladies, and you go, what are you into? What is this? And they were so nervous. They were these crazy religious ladies. They were so nervous. I wanted to know so bad. And Diaz was like, look at fucking Ari over there. Scan the fuck out of these white people. What are you doing? He's like, what are you doing? What is this? What cult are you in? It was so funny. You were so aggressive. I wasn't trying to be.

3:33:52I'm just awkward. But you're just like looming. I'm 6 '3", but I feel like a loser. You're looming over these poor ladies. What is it? What are we doing? They're wearing pilgrim outfits and shit. You're looming over them. It was so funny. I was like, Ari's the best. I shouldn't even talk to men. And I'm like, come on, give me answers. You could send Ari in. He would do anything. He was shameless. Oh, those were the days. That's why Amazing Racist was so funny. That was great. I think you're next bitch. Mark hasn't had one. Bring it on. I'm not too bitch. How dare you? I'm not good at it. What does that mean?

3:34:25I gotta learn. Who gets good at this? You're good at it. You guys are going high. This isn't chess. Second worst. You're really good at it. You were the best at it. You were the best at it. Shane's second. I'm third. He's fourth. The quickness? Yeah. You open up your throat. Like you've had that happen, but you know what's crazy is is Luke Combs We shotgun together and I'm like that doesn't even make any sense like how did we do a whale? How did you open your mouth up and swallow Jonah? You're a big for rolling cigarettes. Why it's just gay pisses me off DeRosa gave me these I know what those are I'm gonna roll my own why do that when you get a filter?

3:35:07It's try hard. I have a filter. It is try hard. I have a filter I made my own filter. This is the way the Indians did it. The Indians don't smoke these things. You're underers why I do this. The Indians didn't use papers, you fucking retard. That's my people. Don't talk shit. It's working, brother. What, you're half Cherokee? No. Oh. I wish I was. It'd be fun to say. You'd be mentioning it by now. My land. Yeah. My people. My squaw. You'd be good at it. Thanks. That's the best one I've ever done. I just identified with that. Really? You got the arrows. Yeah, you got the arrows. Also, live in Texas.

3:35:41This is Comanche land. These are the wildest Indians ever in this spot. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. This is a great book. You want to read a great book? Empire of the Summer Moon. Fucking insane book. They made the movie, right? It's the best. No, that was that other one. What was that one, Jamie? Hostiles had a little bit of it. That was McCormick McCarthy, right? Blood Meridian. Blood Meridian. No, no, it wasn't that. It was the one with Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, yeah, yeah. That had nothing to do with the Comanche. I know, I know, but that was the name of the movie. He was the movie. Was it Empire of the Summer Moon?

3:36:19No, no, no. That was one, but there was another one. The later one. Killers of the Flower Moon. Flower Moon. That's right, the Flower Moon. That has nothing to do with the Comanche. Right, right. It was a confusion. So Empire of the Summer Moon is all about the Comanche and about how they control Texas and Oklahoma. Like there was impossible to pass so this is how fucked up the people were back then they would give people Homesteads they would say mark would you like your own land? Sure, we'll give you a hundred thousand acres. Love it You can have this place and you just go there and you move there and they and then five months you your wife Oh your kids are about to get beheaded.

3:36:59Is that what you're doing with this condo? You're trying to give me oh Taylor Sheridan is Taylor Sheridan is turning into a Oh, that's exciting. It's going to be sick. I hope he doesn't make a gay. He will. No, he won't. No, it needs to be made by... Landman got a little creepy. No, you've got to see... What was it? 1883? What was it? 1823? Is that what it was? 1882. 1883, I saw that. The one that he did that was about people trying to make it across the country was the most accurate. Really? It was the most accurate depiction of what it was like for these fucking crazy settlers on wagons to try to make it through Indian country.

3:37:41They were all like Danish and shit and trying their best to settle. They all got lied to. They all got lied to just the way these poor motherfuckers that moved into Oklahoma got lied to. And like you see those photos that are outside or like all these different Indians and different people. Quanah Parker. Like that guy, his mother was Cynthia Ann Parker who got kidnapped by the Comanche. Whoa. When she was nine years old. They slaughtered her entire family, kidnapped her. She married the chief. And then her son was the last Comanche chief. That was Quanah Parker. Holy moly. And that's right here.

3:38:15I was just, the other day, I was driving down Quanah Parker Lane. Whoa. One of these towns. They named, bro, this guy killed everybody. Wow. He was a beast. He was a fucking monster. Don't look into history. Oh, dude. If you want to tear down statues, don't look into history. Yeah, you can't tear down statues. You just got to accept the fact that we're learning how to be better people. And where do those statues go? Yeah, where do they go? There must be in a warehouse somewhere. I'd like to get my hands on an old Robert Lee. They melt them down and turn them into dicks. Somebody was just showing me one.

3:38:45I think it was Stonewall Jackson. They just remade a statue and just fucked it up. Oh, the messy? Lionel Messi. Well, no. Oh, yeah, with his dick out? Yeah, that was bad. Is this a statue of Lionel Messi with his dick out? It's just a bad statue. It looks like his dick. Pull it up. The Ronaldo one's not great either. The Ronaldo one's hilarious. It's all neck. His face is fucked up. But this place where we're living in for hundreds of years, the Comanche ruled. Until the Whites game. Yeah, that. You're going to show up from behind now. That picture's crazy. What is that thing that's supposed to be in front of him?

3:39:22World Cup trophy. The World Cup trophy. Put it in a different place. You'd think. Yeah. Put it in his hand. Don't put it right in front of his cat. Oh. Damn. But yeah, you know about Davy Crockett. What about him? Well, the fact that he brought... I'm sorry, Daniel Boone. Sorry, Daniel Boone. That's easy to mistake. Daniel Boone, my bad. They're both there. Daniel Boone was the ultimate badass. This guy's crazy. He started Boonesville, which was just a fort that he made. And he kept getting attacked by Indians. His daughter gets stolen. He goes back, finds her, kills everybody, brings his daughter back, which was unheard of.

3:40:02You know, this white guy alone is just killing a bunch of Indians, gets his daughter back. Eventually, he's trying to make salt in the river. Everything was about salt back then. He's making salt in the river. They kidnap him. They got him, you know, chained up, whatever. They're walking him down. He runs away, just randomly escapes. He only walks on rocks to get away, so they can't find him because they can't find footprints. This is how crazy he was. Gets back to the fort and he goes, I killed a bunch of guys. They're going to kill us. We got to set up. For nine days, Indians attacked the fort.

3:40:37And they're just, you know, shooting them off, shooting them off. Eventually, the Indians burned the fort and then the militia showed up. Whoa. And they saved them. But, yeah, crazy. Nine days fighting off Native Americans. Bro, we're so lucky. We're so lucky. To be living in 2026. I know. Imagine if you were living in Mongolia in the year 1200. I got a bad hotel. I'm like, fuck this place. I got the worst life. My flight's delayed. They thought everybody was a pussy who didn't live in a felt tent. In a rat skin suit. Yeah, rat skin. Is that right? Bro, Dan Carlin's Hardcore History is the greatest podcast on history ever.

3:41:18And he's got a thing called The Wrath of the Khan. And it is like five episodes long of Genghis Khan. Or Chinggis Khan, as he says it. That's how they say it. It's like there's a bunch of different translations of what it actually meant. The Great Khan. Now he's got a film festival. Bro, it's fucking insane. It's so good. I got obsessed with Genghis Khan after that. Obsessed. Really? Obsessed. I watched like three different documentaries on him. I watched movies on him. I read two books. It's fucking... He was so insane. Really? I gotta watch some of this stuff. He was born with a blood clot in his hand, like in his fist.

3:42:00His mother was like concerned like that he was gonna become a monster from the time he was born. He killed his brother. What? His brother used to steal fish from him and his other brother, so they killed him with a bow and arrow. Whoa! You can kill somebody with an arrow? Holy shit. That's all the Mongolians did. Yeah, I guess so. Have you ever shot a bow? I mean like an old kids one. Yeah, in summer camp. That's why you don't think you can kill somebody. We have an archery range in the studio. Let's do it. I'll take you back there right now. I'll show you how it can kill you. All right. Dude, I went to Carlin's film festival.

3:42:35Who? Dan Carlin. Dan Carlin has a film festival? Gay. What? Am I thinking of the wrong guy? What the hell are you talking about? He's a gay film festival. Who are you talking about? What are you talking about? Different guy. Different guy. Hardcore. Hardcore. What gay film festival are you going to? How poor do you in England? It was like a porn film festival. This is like a Mitch McConnell moment. Something's going on. You're crossing wires here. Yo, is that guy still alive? Who? He is. Mitch McConnell? They say he's not, right? They say he's like. He's in the bed in the hospital. They're grabbing his hand and signing bills.

3:43:07Yeah. Is he alive? I believe he is. I know Lindsey Graham is off the reservation. Lindsey Graham, though, died. He's gone. Yeah. Do you think Russia killed him? I like that idea. I do, too. He was old. It seems like he might have got blowed up. Yeah, while looking at a drone factory. Oh, this is awesome. Yeah. Like, oh, my God. We're going to kill so many people. Sitting on the drone. Boom. I was just in Charleston, like I said, and I was making fun of Lindsey Graham, and I was like, I wonder how they're going to feel. Hull Stadium was like, yeah. I was like, well, you guys voted for him. He was a weird guy.

3:43:46That's a great town. If there was ever a guy, you're like, that guy's gay. Yeah. Yeah, he looks gay. He looks old, southern gay. Tony Hinchcliffe looked like Hulk Hogan. Sorry. But Southern and gay is a fine line. We got genteel down there. Proper. Just seersucker soup, mint julep, I do declare. That's the weird thing about history. When you go back to armies, when armies were like a bunch of dudes just out in the field together for years at a time, they all got gay. It must have. It must have happened. I disagree with this concept. Spartans were gay as fuck. It happened. When you think about elite warriors in history, don't you think about the Spartans?

3:44:28I mean, statistically it had to happen. 300. They were all gay as fuck. I didn't get tricked by the comic book movie, no, I don't think of the Spartans. They kept that out of that movie. 300. That's true. They kept the gay stuff out. They should have tossed that in. They shaved their chest down, though, I'll tell you that. Really? They got sleek. Yeah, they all were shaved up. It didn't make any sense. Like, where's the hair? Nobody had any hair in that movie. Oh, in the movie, yeah. Yeah. Really? So it was kind of gay. Like wrestlers. I guess so. Wrestlers don't have any hair. They'll shave it.

3:44:55Hook, hook, and have red hair on his chest. They didn't have a word for gay back then because it was just so normal. Boys. In Greece. What about that one dude? This is all silly talk. I'm telling you. What do you mean? They had no word for gay. We got a thousand words for gay. Gay, homo. What are you talking about? Who didn't have a word for gay? Greeks. Who told you that? I like it. I think I saw a reel. Put that into perplexity, Jamie. Who told you that? You know, put that into our AI sponsoring. I thought about did the Greek and ancient Greek know? Gay was just gay. It was just like living.

3:45:26Perplexity stomped me on the arm. What's his face? Alexander the Great had a couple of boyfriends. He had a good point about the autism thing that I never thought about. They don't go to doctors. Yeah, no doctors. They're not getting checked out. These dudes are doing math in their head while they're putting up blogs. They're not going to have a single neutral word. Ancient Greeks did not have a single neutral word equivalent to the modern identity term gay. Appreciate it, J-Wall. It was generally described through acts, social roles, or particular relationships rather than a fixed orientation.

3:45:53I just think we have a very weird thing in modern history where we like to look back and be like, they were gay. Did you know women controlled this tribe? Everyone was gay back then. Abraham Lincoln was gay. It's like, shut up. I get what you're saying. Shut up. But I'm just saying that's what I heard. Yeah, but there was also legit gay shit. That's from the same people that are saying what I'm saying. How about the Papua New Guinea people? Do you know about that? What about that? Do you know about that? The semen warriors of Papua New Guinea, they would take a child when they were six years old, and he would have an anal father, and they would be literally removed from their parents.

3:46:34And they thought that in order for a man to grow strong, he had to consume semen, either in his mouth or his anus. Mouth? That's just science. From the time they're six, these warriors were taken away from their family, and they were brought to a man. And that man would fuck them in the ass and fuck them in the mouth, and they would do the same to a young boy that came up. Could you just come on the table and look it up? And the only thing that stopped them was Christian missionaries. They're like, hey, hey, hey. Whoa. That seems to be a common theme in history. Yeah. I was watching the North Bend.

3:47:07Dudes are so gross, if you leave us alone, we fuck each other. No, not that. I'm saying that Christians. Jail. Christians showing up and going, what are you doing? Yeah. Here's some gum powder. Not proper. Shut the fuck up. I was watching The Northman last night, and I was like, thank goodness Christianity showed up and fucking knocked this shit off. According to Plutarch, the 300 handpicked men were chosen by Gordias purely for ability and merit, regardless of social class. It was comprised of 150 male couples. Each pair consisting of an older Erastus and a younger Romanus. Beloved. Beloved. Athenaeus of Nocratus.

3:47:50Wait, wait. Also records in the sacred band as being composed of lovers and their favorite, thus indicating the dignity of the god Eros. that they embrace the glorious death in preference to a dishonorable and reprehensible life. So this is saying the Spartan, the 300 were 150 couples? Yeah. Okay, now click the citation and tell me what year that book was written. Not Plutarch. 2002? What's your point? I'm just saying it's modern. It's very modern to be like, you know they were all gay? Right, but there's a reality. So this is a thousand years later. They were gay. There's a reality of boy lovers.

3:48:34For sure. Socrates. For sure. But immediately at this table, we bring up Greeks. It's like, you know they fucked guys? Well, not just Greeks. It was also Romans. It was also Japanese. The samurai did it. Obviously, everybody fucked guys. Yeah. We're still fucking guys. Yeah, guys rule. It's also in the Islamic world. It's a big problem. You know, the fucking dancing boys in Afghanistan. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's a thing about some soldier was stationed there and they were like saw all that stuff. Oh, yeah Thursdays Mama not in them. What is this? What are you pulling up? I was asked if the Spartan army was gay Not in the modern sense of uniformly gay army Agent Spartans did not use sexual orientation categories like gay straight and Spartan men were generally expected to marry women and produce citizen children same-sex desire and age-structured male relationships existed they weren't gay they did a lot of gay shit right right it was prison shit yeah is it true and this this is you know again i saw a real in the middle east there's more trans people in iran sorry in iran because it's illegal to be gay you can't be gay so become a woman exactly is that real that's And trans is okay, because at least you're banging a lady.

3:49:53Dude, I am fucked up. Let's get one more beer. I am. I'm going to bar. Do we get dinner? What do you guys want to do? Let's fucking go. We'll go to the club? What's the story? We're doing both of those things. All right. Then we'll go out with DeRosa. I'm not doing stand-up. Go with DeRosa. You're not? I'm not doing stand-up tonight, but we'll go to DeRosa. We'll connect with DeRosa. We've got to figure out. I mean, it's still five. It's not even nighttime. It'll start at like seven or eight. I could also go home and sleep. Boys let's go come on that's bullshit. We definitely gotta I had like two hours sleep last night cuz I Like two hours team power.

3:50:25Yeah, I was lying in bed. I could sure I'd say let's just drink here for another hour and not like anyone else. What do you mean? What way you recover in a way that seems suspect? I'm from a different time. It's like this Like Gallagher yeah, you're Rick Springfield I have different genes. I have a primitive genes. It's all illusionist There's two of these fucking guys. I got Neanderthal genes, man. That's a fact. All right. Well, how about this? Let's go get some pizza. How about we drink for another hour and then leave? Because otherwise we're stuck here. What do you want to eat? I'm saying five to...

3:51:01He's got a show at seven. Well, we got to start drinking with DeRosa. Yeah, but that's later. Are you doing my show? Seven or eight. I'll do the show. Norman's doing a show. He's doing a show. These faggots are going to go out and fucking party with DeRosa. I'll do that too. No, I have to do a show. I have to do a show. But DeRosa's going to be... You can come for a little bit. You're closing out the show. Yeah, but I want to be there. It's fun. I'll be there in the mix of things. Drinking with the Rose will also be fun. And Tony. Yeah, but it'll be fun. Edge? Tony Hinchcliffe? Hinchcliffe's on the show with me.

3:51:31He's canceling. No chance he cancels. Shut up. Ian Edwards is in town. Oh, really? Yeah, he's on the show tonight, too. He's underrated. He doesn't even eat vegetables. He just lives off air. Photosynthesis. He's going off the sun. I used to take pictures every time we'd go on the road together of him sleeping on the plane because he was a vegan. I was like, he's always tired. And one time he caught me sleeping. I'm like, this motherfucker. There's a video of him smiling. A giant look. I'm like. I got you once. Yeah, you got me. I just posted on Twitter. We were about to take off. And I took a picture of you.

3:52:07Opened mouth like that. We're not going anywhere. And I go, do what you will. And then we took off. And then five hours. It was like that AIDS lady to Africa. You landed You returned your phone And I was like I can sleep It was a thousand Photoshops That's the thing That bothered me About those goddamn Nicotine pouches I can always sleep I can always sleep Yeah And last night I was like I can't fucking sleep And I'm like I had 20 nicotine pouches 20 I at least had 20 That's crazy No crazy I just kept popping them in We were having fun We were laughing We were just joking I just kept throwing them In my mouth And then when I got home At night I was like Alright I'm done You're wide awake Just feeling heart beating They fucking work.

3:52:44I mean, I was, the first 25, 30 minutes, I was really, like, uncomfortable. Almost nauseous. You do develop a tolerance for them. Yeah. Obviously, yeah. You know, Shane can pop them all day long. Yeah, everybody in New York I see has that circle in their pocket. Every guy from 20 to 50 has that circle. They're addicted, but not that much, really. Like, I went on vacation, and I didn't bring any with me, and I was fine. They say it's the most addictive drug. Didn't bother me at all. Yeah, I'm not sure if that's true. But it's not bad for me. Maybe I'm different because I don't, whatever it is, I don't seem, the addiction thing to me is like, I get it.

3:53:17I get the pull. Chemical addiction. Yeah. I didn't have any withdrawals. There was no like shakes, like weird, I need nicotine. There was nothing. Yeah, I envy those people who are like, I'll smoke one cigarette. The only thing they've ever felt that really got me was caffeine. Yes. I was drinking these sodas. They had these sodas that you could buy in like liquor stores in L.A. that were filled with caffeine. and I would write. They were like death soda. It was like skulls on them and they were blue and they had like hot sauce on them and shit. Oh, that's bad news. They were crazy sodas. That's gas station shit.

3:53:50They were really good and I got addicted to them and I'd buy them by the case and when I would write, I would drink these sodas and then I decided, let me take some time off of caffeine and I got fucking headaches. Yes. Same. I remember that. Real headache. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, what does that teach you? And you go, don't quit. All right. That's all right. Fair. That's like Castro. Remember they told him to quit smoking cigars? He's like, I smoke 50 cigars a day. You've got to cut back. So he made one giant cigar. Churchill. Was it Churchill? Churchill's this big, long one. He's like, I did one a day.

3:54:24Well, I imagine you live in Cuba. You've got the best cigars in the world. Also, you're the king of Cuba. I've never had a Cuban. They're not much different. They're not much different. All right, shit. The Dominican ones, the Nicaraguan ones are very good right now. Nowadays, Cubans are not the best anymore. They're still really elite, but there's a lot of fakes. China bought them out and they slashed ingredients and quality. Oh, did they? Because all the Chinese people just want, and that's a billion people, they just want to say, I have a Cuban, so they cut costs. They want to eat tiger dick tea and smoke a Cuban cigar.

3:54:57There was a restaurant in China where you could go and it was like a quarterly or semi-annually thing where you can go and you could have all endangered species. They had a menu. You could eat gorilla. You could eat whatever you want. Underage girl? For sure there's some place somewhere where someone's ate a kid, right? Oh, yeah. That was the freaky thing about the Epstein files. You hear about jerky and you're like, what does that mean? Oh, shit. There's no way they weren't eating people. Not everybody has a thing about fucking kids. Anything they wanted was there. Yeah, the most... If you get to a certain level of wealth and the most forbidden thing is probably like sacrifice of a child.

3:55:43For sure that's happened in history. Yeah. In history, we know it's happened 100%. No ifs, ands, or buts. So the question is whether or not it still happens. Yikes. Yeah. It's the most forbidden thing of all time. What's more forbidden than eating a kid? Oh, my God. The Native Americans would throw the virgin in the volcano. I saw a real fucking King Kong. What are you talking about? Didn't they sacrifice virgins? What fucking volcanoes are in America? That was the thing about the Americans. Volcano. I threw that in there for effect. But wouldn't they kill a virgin? Everybody did that. All right.

3:56:24Well, there you go. Literally from the beginning of time, people have been killing people. But why the virgin? For sacrifice. Wouldn't you whore it up just to get by? I think maybe post-Christianity we tossed in the whole virgin thing. Well, no. There was a time where people thought that you had to sacrifice human beings in order to make prosperity and wealth. For sure. But I was saying the virgin thing. You had to sacrifice people that were valuable. The most valuable people, the most pure. And so it makes sense. These fucking psychos. In parts of Africa where they were like, you can cure AIDS by fucking a virgin.

3:56:55Oh, yeah. And so they were like, how do you get a virgin? I mean, 10-year-olds are all virgins. Yeah, it was like 2010. Yeah, it was like pretty, pretty. Chappelle, one of his greatest bits about AIDS, was like someone fucked a monkey. He was like, you know how hard it is to fuck a monkey? Snap your dick like a celery stalk. Think about holding a monkey down and fucking it. It's crazy. The idea that somebody fucked a monkey. Virgin sacrifice actually is far more common as a mythic and literary motif Then as a well-documented historical ritual actual human sacrifice occurred in some ancient societies But evidence that victims specifically were chosen a website for sexually virginity is generally sparse and often uncertain But yeah, it's because people probably don't talk about it, too You know it was more no like in our culture.

3:57:47We're like they sacrifice to virgins, right? That's in movies and shows and shit, but they were just sacrificing everybody, you know, we're sacrificing poor people at the Maya at the Maya ruins, they would take kings they conquered, kings of their society, and tie them to a giant stone wheel and then push them down. It was like 600 yards down. They would tie it like this and just murder. Smush them all the way down. And if they survived, they're like, that's dishonorable. Whoa. Yeah, they weren't virgins. I think it was a good thing the Spanish showed up and gave them what for? To be quite honest.

3:58:20100%. 100%. Bro, they sacrificed somewhere in the neighborhood between 20 and 80 ,000 people when the Aztecs consecrated the temple of Tenochtitlan. Damn. Yeah, between 20 and 80 ,000 people. This guy named... How many people died in the Spanish? His name was Diaz, and he came over, like he was a historical chronicler, and he documented what the Spanish did when they came over here. And one of the things that he did as he came over in the early days. Because the Spanish, when they first arrived, were trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with the Aztecs. Oh, 5 ,000. The number executed by the Spanish Inquisition.

3:59:01But this is the Inquisition. No, I know. I just wanted to compare it to how much were the Aztecs sacrificing? I know. I looked it up on daily. They said it wasn't accurate. Well, they don't know if it's accurate, but they do know that this one historical chronicler... Don't defend the fucking... What are you fucking pointing to? The Aztecs. No, I've run this through perplexity. This guy, Diaz, said that 80 ,000 people were sacrificed over the course of four days. Whoa. Wait, what? Yeah. That's a lot of work. It was the consecration of the temple. This is what's really crazy about the Aztecs. They didn't make any of those things.

3:59:36They moved in. They moved in. And they called it the land where the gods were born. And all these temples and all these insane pyramids, they didn't make any of them. They were all made by unknown people that were as many as a thousand years before them. Whoa They have no idea But not only was there but it was covered it was covered with jungle They had to like chop down the jungle and they found all the shit and they moved in They found a city? Dude they're still finding cities. They're still finding these Aztec cities You're driving on the freeway there and you see these like mountains Yeah, that's his name Like it's clearly Oh, Duran.

4:00:11His name is Duran not Diaz. Interesting 16th century account, 80 ,400 people were sacrificed during the four-day 1487. Yeah, rededication of Tenochtitlan's Temple Mayor. I like that correction. Not 80 ,000 exactly. No, it's wrong. It was actually 72 ,344. Yeah. Historians treat Durant's figures as highly doubtful, not an established count. Other early sources give sharply different totals. The Codex Telleriano-Romensis text has 4 ,000, while interpreting its pictorial numbers alongside text can reduce it 20 ,000. So, look, another chronicle, Torquemada gave it 72 ,000. At the very least, thousands and thousands of people were killed.

4:01:04To compare the Spanish Inquisition to one day in Aztec Empire. Yeah. Nothing. I'm just saying. Not even one day. It's a good thing that a boy showed up and said, you know. Isn't that crazy? Shut it down, fellas. How about a thousand a day? Apocalypto? Oh, yeah. That's a hell of a picture. Apocalypto's nuts. Apocalypto's a good movie. Great movie. It's a fucking phenomenal movie. I mean, this place, Mexico, was wild. It was wild. Good thing they cleaned their act. I wonder what they called it back then, because it wasn't Mexico. It wasn't Mexico until 1820. The United States of Mexico.

4:01:42They owned Texas from, I think, 1821 to 1816. We beat them pretty easily. Or rather, 1821 to 1836. Took California very easily. Check out your boy Polk. Polk, exactly. Top five, bro. Yeah, he was a wild man. Polk rules. I'd throw Andrew Jackson in there. You got two-thirds of the entire country? One-third of the entire country. You ever look up Bolivar? Yeah. Bolivar ruled. Bolivar ruled. He would just go in. What'd he do? He took over all Latin America. South America, Revolutions. What year? 1988? 18th. 18th? And then he had this General Sucre that was a fucking beast and then Santander. Imagine if we didn't intervene with Pablo Escobar.

4:02:28Imagine if we didn't get involved. Let the boy rock. Let him cook. It's not our problem. We're not going to let somebody make money like that. Literally cook. Let him cook. We're not going to let somebody make money like that without us. Well that's part of the problem. And we're buying it. Yeah. Not only that, we're selling it. I mean, it built Miami. We'll bring him then. That's us. Bill Clinton. Whoa. Meena, Arkansas. Yeah. True. They brought it in. Really? Yeah, Barry Seals. Barry Seals was a CIA pilot who was flying drugs in. Is that the movie? Uh-huh. American Made? Yep. Good movie. Yep, but Tom Cruise is handsome.

4:03:00Like, Barry Seals was disgusting. Pull him up. Hey. Yeah. Hey. I don't talk about Barry like that. Good guy. He knows. Doing the best. Like, come on. That's a handsome guy. Jesus God Almighty. He looks good. Looks like he knows the line on everything great fucking storyline indeed fucking

4:03:20Funnier movie that's true It was pretty funny movie and there's a real scene where he gets where Tom Cruise Barry Seals Tom Cruise Pam Barry playing Barry Seals gets arrested and Bill Clinton gets him out of jail hey Mina Arkansas it was all he was the governor of Arkansas at the time What's the reason? Because they were bringing coke into Arkansas. They found out because these two kids got killed. And they said that they did drugs and fell asleep on a train track. But their parents didn't believe it. So the parents funded an autopsy. They paid for an autopsy. And the autopsy found knife wounds.

4:03:56These kids had been stabbed. So what happened was these kids had witnessed the coke drop. So what he would do is he'd fly over. He would throw the coke out of the airplane with parachutes or whatever. It would land on the ground and then he would land and they would go back and pick up the coke. Well, these kids found the coke and then they went to go grab the coke and these kids were with the coke and they killed the kids. And they killed the kids and laid their bodies on train tracks. Pretty good. And so this is what started. That's how people found out about the fact they were moving coke in through Mena, Arkansas.

4:04:29So Barry Seals was going to turn state's evidence and he was going to he was going to testify and he got murdered. and when he got murdered on his way to trial he had George Bush's phone number in his pocket. Whoa! This is good stuff. See, you almost ended the pod. It's a good way to end it. This is good stuff. No, it's not a good way to end it. We still got another... We gotta go eat. We gotta eat? We gotta do shows? You guys gotta go out with DeRosa? Gotta get healthy. We've been doing this for four hours. Oh, is it there? Jeez. We gotta eat something. Let's go eat something. Some carbs, some meat.

4:04:59You don't have anything to do. What the fuck? I have to eat. I thought we were gonna drink. You gotta eat good food As opposed to what you're getting over there In fucking England They're giving you gruel Blood pudding They're giving you fucking prison food I like food I do like beans They won't even let you have an apartment They won't even let you have an apartment England's great You sneak over here You can get a fucking free healthcare You can get a cell phone Schultz was like Do you miss New York real estate? I'm like oh my god I do Wow Well that's just in your blood Well why do you want to stay?

4:05:30I like friction You like chaos You like to live. Bill Clinton consistently denied any knowledge or involvement in SEAL's operations of the media logistics during his tenure as governor. Federal investigations did not produce evidence implicating Clinton. Interesting. Interesting. No way. Interesting. He's a slippery slope. He's just a bad governor who didn't know. They put it in the fucking movie and no one got sued. Damn. That's all you need to know. They put it in the movie and no one got sued. He gets away with everything. He's in a hot tub with a lady. They got photos. He's living with Hillary.

4:06:08That dude lives in hell. I just saw a meme recently that was nice about him and Monica Lewinsky. If that happened today, she would have been born in 2004 and he would have been born in 77. Oh, yeah. The age difference is wild. Isn't that wild? Well, it's wild. That's a lot of years. 77 to 2004? Presidents just, before the internet, presidents just fucked. Oh, man. Yeah, slayed. LBJ used to take shits with his fucking stall door open while he was talking to the press. Yeah. It was like a famous thing. He would like to take a shit while they all... That's what I did on Shane's plane. They would stand outside of his toilet and ask him questions.

4:06:49I don't know. On dates. Did Trump do it on dates? Did Trump do it on dates. The world was different then. I heard Trump, who had lunch with Trump when he said he drank 14 Diet Cokes in an hour? Wow. Pull that up if you can. 14's great. That doesn't even make sense. Liberal internet. That doesn't even make sense. That's a lot of day of coke. Just the volume of liquor. Maybe it was two hours. Of liquid, rather. Just says he drinks 12 in a day, maybe. Oh. That makes more. All right, sorry. So much different. I saw a reel. I believe that. 12 was a lot. You've got to stop watching these reels and letting them dictate your reality.

4:07:21I know. Your dad sent it to me. It is kind of amazing that he's 80. You've got a car with a cat. I should get on that. No, I think he just turned 80. That's way healthier. Oh, really? I think Trump just turned 80. Oh, he's only 80? I think his birthday was at the White House when we were at the UFC. That was for his birthday. That's why they did it in June and not like July 4th. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They did it June 14th, I believe, because it was Trump's birthday. Ah. That's crazy. 80. At some point, you can't relate to most of the population. 100%. You don't know what college loans are. Yeah. Impossible.

4:07:53You can't relate to any human on it. Yeah. Listen, it gets his levels. Like Shane can't relate to most people right now, right? I can relate to a lot of people. A lot of people. He remembers at least. But less people. And it's slowly going to get weirder. Nah. Hey, guys. You ever have to change the tire in your Maybach? Trust me. Trust me. You should have met my Maybach. Wait, you got a Maybach? Yeah. Whoa. It's pretty embarrassing. Meanwhile, you're talking about a used Tesla. Step up your game, son. Is it here? No, it's at my house. Oh, I guess you're drinking. Yeah, I got to see that. Maybach.

4:08:28Well, it's clearly for a car that has a driver. Oh. So I'm just driving a very nice backseat. Yeah, but it's still, it's even driving, it's so smooth. It's cool, but I bought it and I left Austin for like a month and then I came back and I was like, what am I doing? Why would I ever have this? This is very embarrassing. Well, the other one was so great. The other one was great. What was wrong with the other one? A tree fell on it. I forgot about that. Is that the one where the seats would hug you when you went on a turn? Yeah. Bro, I went with him. We went to the dealership, and I told the dealer to shut up so I could sell it.

4:09:03I'm like, I know everything about this car. Let me sell it to my friend. I was like, I'm going to get a Honda Accord. I don't need this. And he was like, you want this. You got to get this. I took him to the Mercedes dealership. I explained to him about the S-Class. Oh, nice. S-Class rules. Oh, bro. Whoa, mama. That car is like a Batmobile. Tracy got that after the accident money. Yeah, that's a crazy car to drive in New York. That's crazy. There's a Ferrari. He's missed all his money on craps. Tracy Morgan. Look at that outfit. Funny dude, man. He's got a lot of sick cars. He's just driving through Times Square.

4:09:42In convenience and cars, they go to his house. Click on that one where your cursor is. Look at that. He's got a Lambo Roadster. Jesus. That's the one he's driving right here, I think. Yeah, baby. be fun, but where are you going to park it? And driving that thing in New York City is crazy. Every time I go to New York City, I'm like, this is so nuts. How does anybody drive here? It's a wild place to live. You still got that little BMW? I love it. I do. I drove it the other day. That car runs like a Kenyan. I've never had a problem with it. It's so good. I wash it outside my house like an American.

4:10:16Just hose, bucket, sponge. It felt good. Yeah, 2002, right? Yeah. That's what it is. The roundy. Yeah. The round tail lights. Great little old car. Those little old ones, those 2002 BMWs. Was it from the 70s? 73. Yeah, it's a fucking great car. Great car. No AC, no registration, no insurance. Manual? I'm riding dirty, yeah. No insurance? I tried to fill it out. I couldn't do it. What does that mean? I tried to get the forms and all that. They're going to target you now. Huh? You can't say that on the air. Oh. It's illegal. Well, I've been doing it for years. I have insurance. I have insurance.

4:10:51I've been doing it for years. I have insurance. I don't have health insurance either. You don't? I got to figure that one out. Wow. I'm not good with forms. Filling things out. Yeah, me too. I just black out. I gloss over. Yeah. I can't. You got to get a guy. I got to get a guy. I need a jewelry. Yeah. Sometimes the problem is, like, I'm paying$600 for them. I'll fill out the form. And then you're like, ugh. Well, here's the thing. I haven't had health insurance in years. And I've never had a health problem. So I feel like I saved thousands and thousands. Tens of thousands of dollars. You definitely did.

4:11:24We need free health care. Well, then you feel like with the whole Luigi thing, like when you find out about how many people that have real legitimate claims and get denied because the insurance companies just want to fuck you. I was talking to Brigham. They said 10 % of people that get denied follow up. So that's their business model is like just say no and hopefully they go away. We looked this up last time. It costs Americans more to have private health care than public. Wow. I believe it. Wow. So what are we doing? Let's get it going, folks. You've got to get rid of these gay lobbies. Yeah.

4:11:53Say that again. It costs Americans what? It costs more to have private health care than public. It costs more to have private health care? Yeah. It costs average Americans pay more for private health care than it would cost to have. Right. I get what you're saying. Okay. Because most things private, I get why you're confused. Private sounds better. Oh, private. Private security costs more than whatever. it, but... I'm probably wearing that wrong, but you know what I mean. Yeah, I get it now. I get what you're saying. See, this is a good podcast. People want to hear us talking about fucking health care.

4:12:29Super good opinions. Jamie Grant. Robert E. Lee. Football High. Freebird. Freebird. Teddy. I know it's hack, but Teddy Roosevelt. That's a fun story. Polk's a deep cut. Polk, I love. The pulp rules. Teddy Roosevelt's the reason why we have national parks. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. A lot of stuff. Yep. He did a lot of shit. He also retired from president and go, I'm just going to go risk my life. But I think it was Teddy who did the, he called it the square deal, which is kind of what we're approaching, which he broke up all the guys that were making all the money, the 1 % basically. Yeah. He called it the square deal.

4:13:10Was that Teddy? Wow. Yeah. Focused on the three C's, fair consumer protection and control of giant corporations and conservation of natural resources. So we're getting close to, we need another teddy where somebody's willing to abuse their executive power to shut down whatever the fuck we're doing right now. But the thing is, don't you think that big business and corporations and super PACs and all these different things have gotten so deeply entwined in politics that if a guy ever tried to do anything remotely like that, they'd kill him. Yeah, we went too far. I mean, look, we thought Trump was going to do it.

4:13:43It's clear he's not going to do any of those things. He's not going to do any of those things. One or two guys are going to have to Get you out in the head I'm not going to do it Or something else is going to have to happen Some other radical change They're so intertwined now There's so much dirty money What are we going to give up fellas We can't lose it We got a good thing going It's funny how Slowly but surely People try to turn everything Into some sort of a totalitarian government. They slowly want more and more power, more and more control. They want to siphon more and more money. It's just over time, that's always what you're fighting against.

4:14:27Always. But don't you feel like we're at a boiling point? It feels like something's going to happen. Yeah, it's pitchfork era. Something should happen, because if it doesn't happen, then we're all going to be fucked. No one can get a home. No one can pay their bills. They got flock cameras everywhere. Everyone's living with roommates at 35. Yeah, we're talking about communism again. Except the Upper West Side, where your people live. Did you know that? It's like devoid of flock cameras. I didn't see that actually. Is that very weird? Yeah. That can't be true. One section. What am I with complexity, Jamie?

4:14:50Yeah. One section of New York City is devoid of flock cameras. What's a flock camera? It's these weird fucking cameras that are everywhere. AI is going to say that's not true. Everything's fine. AI is definitely going to say that's not true. Everything's fine. The spot cameras? Yeah. Those cameras that are everywhere. Like I had Marc Andreessen on who invests in flock cameras and it was right at, see there, that's the spot. There is the section. Half of that is Central Park. Shut the fuck up, bitch. The flat cameras are in Central Park Where the rest is Of course you defend it Obviously you defend it Just like move that red line up Shut up Ari Double the stats Why don't you put a little box in your forehead Shut the fuck up It's just the wealthy It is the wealthy It's probably that too It's probably wealthy Because Upper West Side is very expensive real estate Jewish people It is but it's Listen it's not a hundred percent There's a ton of fucking Gentiles in the Upper West Side It's just rich people That's really what it is I bet Upper East Side Is probably pretty fucking similar No Upper East Side It's very sparse With flock cameras The Upper West Side Is notably Jewish Yeah true But in terms of Flock cameras It's pretty sparse I wonder if They're singling out The Upper West Side Versus the Upper East Side I bet the Upper East Side Which is also like Super wealthy Yeah I bet they don't have a lot of flock cameras either.

4:16:13And for what? So they can, like, rob cars? They're not flock brands. Sorry for the confusion. However, there are a few flock cams in New York City. So there's just a bunch of security cameras all over the place that we didn't see coming. So the thing is, it's like within two years, there's been hundreds of thousands of these cameras installed all over the country. Police state. Yeah. And real quick, like before you even saw it happening. They're everywhere there. They're everywhere. I've looked to see what I can shoplift. I'm like, damn, those cameras are everywhere. Yeah, it's a tough time. Something's got to give.

4:16:52Yeah, police state. What happened here? It's a tough time and an awesome time at the same time. That's true. Yeah, it is true. Let's look at the positive. It's a lot of great shit going on. Yeah, we've got college football coming that they're trying to ruin. Who's trying to ruin it? NIL. Not a big deal. In what way? Trying to take it away? Don't get me started. What are they trying to do? They're trying to pull it back. They created two super conferences. I mean, the whole thing's a disaster, Joe. Also, they're gambling on basketball now. Players are just fully throwing games. You see that? The gambling's out of control.

4:17:17It began. It was crazy. Trying to get rebounds to get whatever. Polymarket, all that shit. Wow. But I'm torn on that. I feel like I like the fact that you can gamble on anything if you want to. Can you gamble on when the next Projector of Parks is? Is that a cashier thing you can do? You can now. I bet you could. I bet that's a polymarket thing. But we don't even know. How do they know? But we will. Yeah. Well, Jamie pulled up. There was a Polly Market thing. There was a Polly Market thing on this podcast. I'm ruined. There was a thing on this podcast that Jamie pulled up. I go, close that website and never open it up again.

4:17:52You can't know what people are gambling on. Oh, because you'll get it. You know? Because it can't influence you. Also, I don't want anybody else to know either what they're gambling on. They'll get you. Gambling's tough. It's going to ruin society. Didn't that fucking congressman guy who got acquitted, the gay guy? Yes. The guy from Brazil? Marco. Oh. The guy from Brazil? No, no, no. What's his name? Polo. The one who lies about a bunch of stuff? Yes. I swear to God. Joseph? Jamie, you know who I'm talking about. Chubby boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chubby gay guy. Funny dude. Funny dude. Lindsey Graham.

4:18:27George Santos. George Santos. There was something about him saying that he was going to show up at some State of the Union speech. I'm definitely showing up, and then he bet that he wouldn't show up. Wow. And he didn't show up. That's pretty smart. Allegedly. Allegedly. DOJ is investigating former Congressman George Santos for insider trading on Kalshi. Yeah. Hilarious. You can't insider trade on Kalshi? I mean, it's like... Did you know that Kelsey Gabbert had on? It was like, why are you lying about everything? Oh, you lied about everything. You lied about being Jewish? He said, no, no, no, I'm Jew-ish.

4:19:03I'm kind of that before I act like a Jew I like it He's like fucking Totally full of shit But I'm just saying I'm like frugal I get a lot of diarrhea I get a lot of diarrhea You should go to a doctor dude You shouldn't just deal with that I know But I think the internet Is a big part of why We're so fucked But you can't get rid Of the internet Well I hate regulation But you gotta do something with it So what do we do That's what I'm saying You gotta start regulating that It's so bad for people It's horrible It's ruined Well, you've got to teach people to stay off it. But also you've got to be like, guys, you can't use this society.

4:19:35You're turning everyone against each other. But the problem is they've made so much money doing it. And there's so much money now that these corporations are holding that they have so much influence over politicians. It's really an extraordinary time where these tech oligarchs are really in control of a giant chunk of the narrative that shapes society. Shapes our economy. Shapes our social system. Shapes everything. There's so much going on right now that it's being manipulated by just a small amount of people. It's kind of fucking nuts, and nobody saw it coming. They make comedians turn into other comedians so they can sell everybody Snickers.

4:20:12I got to pee again. Have you not gone yet? Not yet. He's had three drinks. I'll see you in hell. He's on his third. Amazing. Hey, beer bong, couple other beers, whiskey. I'm blown out. This is your second whiskey. Third whiskey. Give me a dram of that. Hit it, baby. Can you catch it? Yes. That's a lot of glass. You've got to toss it over that. That's short. Oh, sorry. I came back for it. Steve Largen. You got it. You got it. All right. All right, J-Mo. Toss up. We've got to figure out what we're doing tonight. Because I don't want you to go to bed. If you go home, it's over. It's like naps over.

4:20:52I'll go out. I'm just going to stand up right now. No, I'm not doing a stand up tonight. Oh, really? Yeah, we're going out. Should I not do stand-up right now? Should I not do stand-up? Yeah. We're going to be until 9.30 before we get out of there. It's like, we're going to start. Yeah, I'm definitely going to. Ah. I'm not going to the club. I'm going to go to the bar. O 'Neal's coming out. Edge is coming out. Oh, nice. O 'Connor. I keep saying Edge. The Edge. The Edge. I didn't know his nickname either. How do we know his nickname? The Edge. You call him The Edge? Who started calling him The Edge?

4:21:17Tony. Tony calls him The Edge? We all do. I'll never be The Edge. Dude, if you're getting your juice from Tony, you're gay. No, we all do. But that's right. Tony calls him the edge. We all call him the edge. Did you all go to the Garden? You guys were in town. No, I was in London, England. I was in Charleston, South Carolina. I was in SF. That's a great town. San Francisco rules. San Francisco does rule. It's on its way back. I always thought it ruled, even in its darkest hour. Yeah. I thought it was a good city. I like the signs they put up, like, hey, if you leave anything in your car, it won't be there.

4:21:48It's not even like, hey, we'll try to help. It's like, just don't do that. Yeah, it's super rich people. It's a good bar up in town. Great tiki bar town. Yes, yes. The water. Great Chinese food. The Italian food. North Beach. Ooh, Italian food, too. It's great there. San Francisco does rule. Oh, my God. Great town. And it's walk-o. You can walk across the whole place and nothing. It's great if you like the smell of human shit. There is some human shit. It's amazing if you like the smell of human shit. You gotta ignore that. You gotta ignore it. Yeah, it's good if you're a black lad. If you're a golden retriever, you're gonna love it.

4:22:20The whole city is nuts. Hobos, homos, and Waymos Imagine bringing a dog to New York City Chinatown in the summer If you're a dog there Trust me, you don't even know where to piss Like, that was crazy I'm just gonna squat right here, this place is nuts Giant toilet It used to be so good Dude, I did a special there in 2016 And there was nothing wrong with the city Where? At the Fillmore In San Francisco And it was amazing, I did Triggered at the Fillmore It's back. Their new mayor is like, we've got to get live music here because if people don't go out, it won't rebirth. The new mayor is ready to clean things up?

4:22:57Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's on it. It's starting with live music. You've got to have people come out to stuff. You've got to patrol the streets. They're doing it. You've got to clean up the homeless encampments. You've got to put people in mental institutions. You've got to get them clean. Use Alcatraz. It's right there. Put them all in there. It's going to take time. They fucked it up over a period of eight to ten years. It's going to take 30 to fix it. Ah. It's going to take so long to fix that city. It's longer than that. It's always been homeless. And there's so many people that are so attached to that whole ideology.

4:23:26Shut up, boy. There's great spots. There's great sections. Not always, but like 20 years. Compared to where we're at right now? No, no, I'm saying San Francisco's never been like a clean thing. Sorry, listen to me. I'm older than you. America's like 10 times. I remember during the Reagan administration. Including San Francisco. Yeah. During the Reagan. Yeah, here too. I'm saying it's not just it got bad there. It's different than the whole society. We'll be all right. During the Reagan administration, that's when homeless people really started becoming a thing because they changed the whole distinction with mental institutions.

4:23:58They let people go and they just let them out and they were just wandering around. It was noticeable. And I remember this. And then it really didn't fucking change until like 2016, 17. Then you started to see tents. And it's like, this is weird. They're just allowing tents. And then 18, 19, it ramped up. And then during the pandemic, it just caught fire. Yeah, it's bad. LA was like just downtown, a little pocket, and then it spread all the way to like DSLVU. Oh, it wasn't a little pocket, dude. I was filming Fear Factor there. No, 55. No, it's all over. Skid Row is 55 blocks. It spread all the way down Sunset.

4:24:35It's everywhere. It was just as little blocks. But Skid Row is a... Dude, it's the whole city. Yeah, the city is great, but the solid 55 blocks is Skid Row. It's wild. Burn it. Burn it. Oh. If it was zombies, we'd just throw bombs on it. Send bears out there or something. Just run them over. Kill them. Eat them. You've got to do something. Well, I was at the Tenderloin at a hotel, and I go, what should I do around here? I was asking the desk lady. She just goes, don't turn right. Wow. Don't turn. That's the hotel lady. Don't go to the right. Just go left. I'm like, that's half the city. Meanwhile, what's the invisible barrier?

4:25:08They have dog collars on with electricity? Like, what's stopping them from going left? New York's good right now. New York's fine. Yeah. Yeah, it's safe. Janice has the best quote about it. Regular homeless. Yeah, regular. Janice says this. He goes, the problem, New York City's homeless doesn't got to align because every 10 years or so, we burn one alive. An immigrant shows up and lights one on fire and you go, all right. Keeps you in check. Now they're all like tap dancing and shit. At least a New York homeless guy has got moves. I always had a preference for East Coast homeless because they were heroin.

4:25:42They were asleep. And they go away in the winter. They don't breathe during the winter. sleeping. They dance. West Coast homeless are all meth. They'll scream and chase you. Oh, you go to Salt Lake City, you're going to get chased. They're screaming and chasing. They have bad homes? Salt Lake City's bad for homeless. Every single one. Methadone? That was quick. That was quick. When I started stand-up out in Salt Lake, I was like, this is the best city. This is the cleanest, nicest city. Wise guys. Yeah, beautiful. On the way in, I was telling my buddies, I was like, wait till you see how nice this is.

4:26:11Then we landed and there was 10 homeless guys chasing us. Right. And then you gotta bring up young and it's like utopia that campus yeah the Mormons The Mormons are homeless yeah, but yeah, I don't know why no one's talking about that in politics homelessness homelessness and consent Yeah, clean it up. They are party talking about me. They do when it comes around sensitive the problem is there's so much money in maintaining it That's true money and homelessness would like what a cut like they're breaking in a rich one $34 billion California spent and done nothing but increase the homelessness.

4:26:48Wow. The wrong area burned. And every city. Every big city explodes. Yep. And it's recent. It's a new thing. And, you know, L.A. has had skid row forever because what they used to do with skid row is they would take people from, like, if there was a vagrant in Hollywood, they would take them and they would just put them in skid row. They'd stay here. And they would literally, like, block them in. They would give him like food and services. But it was so small for so long. It wasn't that small, dude. It's an illusion. I was filming Fear Factor there in like 2004 or 2005, and I was driving home, and I took the wrong turn.

4:27:20I was like, what the fuck? It was just blocks and blocks of cardboard boxes. Yes. And it was only Skid Row. Skid Row was nuts, man. It was, even then it was nuts. Now it's 55 blocks. Do you understand how insane that is? like what 55 blocks looks like on a grid? It's always been that size, I think. Back in the 30s, there was somewhere in the range of 10 ,000 homeless people there, and there's 4 ,400 now. There's zero chances. There's more homeless people now than there were in the 30s? Or in the 30s, there was more than there is now? No. In the 30s, that was the population of L.A. Wait a minute.

4:28:00How many are there now? How many are there now? It says 4 ,400. Shut the fuck up. There were 10 ,000. That's not true. That's not true. Fliberal.com. You ever get an AI answer and they go, are you sure about that? And they go, yeah, good point. That's wrong. Jamie's a goddamn fed. This is crazy. This is all Karen Bass, her statistics. It's all lies. Click that fucking site. No, no, no. It's now estimated 40 ,400. The population has been there since the 30s. But it wasn't that number. It was more in the 30s as well. Okay, but put this estimate in. How many homeless people are there in L.A.? Because the estimate is somewhere north of 70 ,000.

4:28:33I think it's spread past Gitra. Can you just highlight that citation? Which one? Number four. What was it? Estimated.

4:28:44From LA Times in 2020. 2023 LA Times liberal. Well.

4:28:542023 Biden administration. I don't believe that. 55 blocks is not 4 ,000 people. It's just not. It's a lot more than that. They lie. I think it's past good. Also, they're not showing up and saying, Mike, are you homeless? They're not. No, they chase you on a stick. They don't have an accurate count. Okay. Los Angeles has approximately 73 ,000 homeless people in Los Angeles County, and 45 ,000 are the city of Los Angeles. There you go. And by the way, just a guess. They're not accurate. They're not doing a great job of it. And it says only a 3 % increase over two years earlier, which is a lot. Shut your dirty hole you lying communists It's probably a hundred thousand They don't even know people move there just for the services and the weather Yeah, it's a great place to be homeless you could survive sleeping on the street You don't freeze hanging outside Trey's house.

4:29:49They say they're testing the Fent on the dogs What do you mean you hear that? Yes, see if it's kill them so they hit dogs. Oh my god. That's the rumor Jesus Christ It's all real. The reels are nuts. I know. It's bad news. Is this where you get your info? Mostly, yeah. That and your dad. That's most people. Well, that's AI dogs, and then I get, you know, like. Boys, let's wrap this up. All right, all right. It's almost 6 o 'clock. Everybody go see Tires. It's on Netflix right now. Oh, yeah. Tires season 3. Everybody text message Ari, because I know you got his phone number, and tell him to get the fuck out of England.

4:30:26But do find me mushrooms or weed. I'm definitely going to need that. Mark Norman, where you at? Hey. What are you doing? I'm all over the road. Check my website. I'm doing clubs and building a new hour. We might be drunk. Tuesdays of Stories. I got an hour on Netflix that came out this year. We've done two, please. I'll see you all in hell. Praise Allah. ComedyMothership.com. Love you guys. Bye.