#2559 - Sam Morril

23:27No problems. Have at it, fellas. Yeah, sure. Enjoy yourselves. Sure. I mean, I don't have any problem with that. That doesn't bother me at all. But people that pretend they're animals, there's something about that. This guy got tied up to the Hollywood sign last week. Good for him. By a dominatrix. Probably came like a rocket in the middle of the day. He was probably super excited about it. Why? Why? I had this lady on my podcast back in the Disney. and she was a humiliatrix and her whole thing was she would take these wealthy CEO type guys that are in control constantly in control and she would humiliate them and they would pay her and one of the things that they would do is they would pay her to blackmail them so she would make them do things like suck a dick on camera and then send her the video, I'm not bullshitting and then she would have that footage They got off on the fact that she had them like she was very professional She would never do anything with it, but she pretended that she would and this was the game like they he they wanted to feel What a great gig you can ask for a raise whenever you want what are they gonna fucking do?

24:34What a what a film of them sucking a dick so she would say I want a film of you sucking a dick Wow, and then I'm gonna take that film and this is pre AI too. This is a long time So it's a real guy sucked a real guy's dick damn because he wanted this lady to have this information over him Yeah, it's like it's just you've gone too far in the kink thing. It's like you've got it though Listen, I wouldn't want that's too far man I think if you're one of those guys that is a CEO of some major business and you're working 16 hours a day You're probably losing your fucking mind Yeah, and I guess you're trying to come in the most efficient manner possible.

25:13You're like, I need seven hours of sleep. I'm working 16 hours. Well, I would think that maybe that kind of power and control over a large corporation is probably so overwhelming you need a release valve. Of course. And a release valve is someone having ultimate control over you. Yeah, no, those guys are usually subs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're used to control. Dominatrix is always. Anytime I see a powerful man, I'm like, I bet you like to get pegged. Like get your nuts kicked. I bet. See those guys? They just lay down with their hands tied behind their back and girls kick them in the nuts.

25:45That scares me for like a permanent injury. Oh, yeah. You could permanently have like a nut in you, right? Well, you could blow your nut out. I know two dudes who've had their nuts blown out personally. What does that entail? It entails usually a shin to the nuts and it makes your nuts explode, makes one of your nuts explode and they have to remove it. They remove your nut. I know a guy he was gonna do like some light sparring with this guy said ah We're just gonna go light. I don't need my cup So he goes out there and like a minute into the round he gets kicked in the nuts and his nut explodes That is fucking awful loses a nut.

26:25He's a one nut champ now God yeah, you just got to pray you don't get testicular cancer in the other nut right cuz like that's I would think about that That's a wrap, you know cuz you hear about these people that go deaf in one ear I'm like, you better pray you don't lose hearing in the other ear. You want to hear what's crazy? They can do dick transplants, but they can't. Yep. They've done it, but they can't do nut transplants. Because say like. Wait, what is a dick transplant? A dick transplant. You get an actual dick? You get an actual dick from a dead guy. Like say you're in Afghanistan, you're in an IED, your dick and your balls get blown off of you.

26:59It's happened before. They will transplant a dick onto you. But no balls. No balls. You know why? Because say if my - It's like a burger with no fries. It doesn't hit the same. This is what's wrong. Yeah. If you got your dick blown off and you had to get Jamie's dick and balls, you would - Why am I? If you died. Oh, wow. If you died. Just giving them up. Okay. Let's say Red Band. Say Red Band's dick and balls. Sure. The problem is you would have Red Band's sperm forever. So you would have his DNA. I mean, that's not the only problem. There's multiple problems. You lost your dick. Yeah, that's the big one.

27:36But the other one is you can't procreate without balls anyway, right? You won't be able to procreate. Yeah, but if you shooting this guy's load on people If you got the ball transplant you would be able to procreate but you would not be procreating with your DNA You would be procreating with his DNA, but how safe are these penile transplants? These can't be safe and effective really safe and effective did you read about that guy in Bangkok? I'm making that up I'm not going in Yeah the guy who lost He died He got a dick That was like an enhancement though Yeah yeah But he went with his fucking wife Who didn't try to talk him out of it Yo That's gotta feel bad Or good This one was a She wanted out Yeah maybe she talked him into it Maybe she slipped the guy An extra hundred To double up the fucking gas What's this?

28:24First total penis transplant No What? And? And scrotum transplant. But is that testicles? 14-hour surgery? It said for ethical reasons, not the testicles. Yeah, excluding testicles for ethical reasons. That's why. So the structure, like the scrotum. Will it work, though? Yes. No, it won't work. So that's the ethical reason. The ethical reason is the testicles produce the DNA of the person who's dead. So you would be having his babies, which is wild. Do you pee in a smooth? Do you pee smoothly, or how does that go? So this first one. Ooh, smooth is a weird question. We're getting full urinary and sexual function and father to child.

29:08What? What? Wait a minute. How did he father a child? This was in 2014. Okay. He lost his organ due to a botched circumcision, but he might have kept his nuts. Oh, yeah. That's different. Yeah, but we're just talking about the penile thing, I thought. Right. So he got a new dick and father to child. Circumcision after 20 is a bad idea. Yeah, well circumcision is fucking crazy. Are you circumcised or no? I am, but I didn't have any say in the matter. Me and my wife actually had an argument about it. If we were going to have a child that was a boy, obviously we had children, but I was like, I don't want to get them circumcised.

29:40I had a joke about it. She's like, uncircumcised dicks look disgusting. I'm like, how many have you seen? Like you said that so confidently. I just picture a river of sleepy, uncircumcised dicks. Dude, I That's a fun sentence That's tough Five penis transplants Have been performed worldwide Next sentence Mixed outcomes Have been reported Out of five And two of the five penile transplants Two of five If you're a baseball player That's pretty good What is it? If you're a surgeon It's not that good If you're Tony Gwynn It's fine What does it say When it says two of the five what? Can you click on it?

30:17See what it says? I was sticking with that Was enough But it says two of the five What happens to those two of the five? Required explanation Oh, have required explanation. What does that mean? Two of the five penile transplants have required explanation? Hey, why is your dick black? I can explain. Hold on. However, the long-term outcome has been encouraging when compliance is implemented, whether standard induction or triple therapy maintenance, or single therapy maintenance. If you're going to go through this, you should be able to pick the dick out. Like you go to a nice steakhouse and they bring you the knives.

30:51Oh, yeah, or a lobster tank. Yes. I want the big one. I want the big one. I wouldn't want to go through that for a fucking tiny dick. Imagine you go through that and you still have a five inch dick and you have to explain. It's not even my dick. I know it's little, but look, it's not mine. It's a discount in China. Yeah, I found it. Yeah. I found it at a motorcycle wreck. Areas of uncertainty include the ethics of donor recipient color mismatch. Right? If you're like one of those guys like, it's got to be black. Please just get me a black dick. We're all one color. We're all one race. Surveillance for sexually transmitted infections and how to optimize patient compliance.

31:30Right. Imagine if you get some guy's dick and it's just all ate up with the herpes. Yeah. And it looked good when it was like in the box. It looked like nice. Yeah, I don't mind herpes. I want it to be my herpes. Right. I want to at least earn it. Like, how'd this guy get the herpes? That's the question. Was he just raw dog and prostitutes? Was he an animal? Yeah, I want a backstory. How did he die? It should come with a brochure. Yeah, did he die of a fucking heroin overdose? in a terrible whorehouse somewhere? You should not hit the Carfax on it. Yeah, I'd like that. I would. It's been in an accident before.

32:00It's the first transplant. I have a friend who has dick broken. What? Fucking? Yeah, the girl got on top and she got a little crazy. I'll be honest, I worry sometimes when that happens. It can get crazy. Things can happen, especially if the lady's got a lot of power. You know, like maybe you're dating a softball player or something. She's got a good squat. She's got good thighs. Yeah, and she fucking... And she misses the mark and it hits the taint. I've definitely been like, ooh, let's take it easy. Well, it could get out of control. Yeah. Yeah. Especially on top, because you're in danger. It's like one of the one times where a man's in danger.

32:32I slept with a woman once who told me she, while we were fucking, she goes, I fucked NBA players. I don't know why she told me that while we were having sex. Ew. First of all, I was like, well, which NBA players? And she was like, I'm not telling you. I was like, well, I'm a Knicks fan. I want to know if you fucked a Knick. Right. Just as selfishly as a fan. But she was moving her hips in a way where I'm like, this is not my sport. Like, this is not for me. She's going hard. She was going hard. Yeah. When a girl's telling you that, it's like, hey, I fuck super athletes. Like, ew. I know. Hey, there's no way I can compete with this.

33:02And I was also like, you're aware I'm not a super athlete. She's trying to make you feel funny. Like, uncomfortable. She was hammered and so was I. And it was like, one of the things, I think she was trying to be funny. Oh, or hot. Maybe you would think it was hot. I don't think it's hot. Yeah. You're fucking a super athlete. Like, that's the top of the food chain. Like, especially NBA players, because they're the tallest. They're the tallest super athletes. Yeah, they're also, I'm assuming, much larger than me. I'm assuming. Imagine if they weren't. That would be so disappointing. Yeah, I'd be disappointed.

33:35We missed that. This is not the word required explanation. Explantation. Oh. What's an explantation? I think that means they take it off. What? Is that what it means? When you'd plant something and then you would explant it, right? Oh. Right? And an explantation would be? I was reading an article. Oh, boy. Removal. I was reading an article about a trans man who went through that and got a fake penis off of his arm. You know how they do that? You know how they do that? No, I don't know. Oh, you're not in the same chat group as me and Shane. Wait, what is it? I'm lost. I'm very lost already. Wait, a penis off the arm?

34:18What does that mean? You don't know this? No. Okay, you're in for a treat. There are trans men who have, it's not artificial penis, it's a constructed, let's say constructed to be kind, a constructed penis. Okay. Where they literally take a giant hunk of meat off of your arm, roll it up, and construct a penis out of that. It's like the Empire Strikes Back. Crazy. Crazy. And then they build a penis and then put that sucker down yonder to cover the vag. The vag hole's still there. Whose arm are they taking that out of? Your own. This is like a hair transplant, but your actual fucking arm. Crazy.

35:02And it's a massive scar. That's tough. Yeah. And it's not, it doesn't always work. So this one guy, I think he had it done at least once. I was doing it a second time. God, I want to say he had it done twice and it didn't work out and they were moving to the thighs. Because sometimes the blood doesn't flow and it becomes necrotic. And so it's literally like rotting off and they have to remove it so you don't get septic. Oh, man. And it's not like it works. That's tough. Yeah. It's a tough procedure. It's one of those things where I feel like - I hope it works. Man had penis grown in his arm after losing genitalia to sepsis.

35:41But that's a guy. When I saw my penis go black, I was beside myself. It was like a horror film. What happened to your front teeth, buddy? I have a feeling there's more to this story. It's like a horror film. By the way, what horror film? I've never seen that movie. Was that a Wes Craven? Your dick just went black? Yeah. That's like the substance for men, though. That is rough. Right. That is a horror. That movie was crazy. I didn't love it. You didn't love it? I don't like body horror stuff. I feel like I get it. I like more psychological horror. I don't like when it's just like, I'm uglier and uglier, and it's crazier and crazier, and my body's exploding.

36:18It makes me kind of... Although, that movie saved my life, so I have to give it a little love. How did it save your life? Because we were on the road. It was the first night I didn't do a tour bus, because it was just three cities. So we did a sprinter van, and Gary Veeder and I, who I toured with, we were watching in the back seat, and it was like 3 a.m. So we're just like, ah, let's just watch this movie. And the driver just fell asleep at the wheel and drove us off the road. and we were only awake because we were watching the movie. Holy shit. So I was like, yeah. So we were like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

36:45And he just like drove us off the fucking road. Did he wake up? Yeah, he woke up. He's like, oh, my bad. We're like, no, you got to pull over. We'll get a different car. My bad is crazy. Yeah, it was bad. We almost died. My bad. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, I always think that about tour buses. Like you're just banking. Well, it wasn't. Our tour bus driver's amazing. He would never do that. That's great. But what if they accidentally fell asleep? He eats pickles all night so he won't fall asleep. How does that work? Acidity. Really? Yeah, because he's like, coffee I'll just be numb to after a while, but the taste of the acidity keeps me awake.

37:16He's been doing tour buses forever. Is that just him, or is that like a known tactic? I think it's just him, but he's great. We never were worried with him. For folks on the road that are driving, if you're listening to this and you worry about falling asleep, this is the best method I've ever found. Take a wet washcloth with ice cubes. Yeah. Wet washcloth with ice cubes and just rub your face like every few minutes. It keeps you wide awake. That's smart. And it doesn't hurt. I used to slap myself. Try to stay awake when I was young and dumb. Yeah. I would do gigs and I'd be driving from like Western Massachusetts like three hours in the middle of the night.

37:55That's smart actually. Slap or like, I mean, coffee does usually work. The problem is once that fucking warm air and the car starts hitting you again and the lines start talking to you like, Sam. Just close one eye. Oh, dude. So close your eyes for a few seconds. Just a few seconds. I think about it. I mean, people fucking die that way. Also, you know, think about how many people have died that way. I mean, a lot. A lot of cars. Because they always say, because you're always like, I'm more scared of a flight than a car. But then they're like, no, cars are more dangerous. It's shit like that. Sleep deprivation.

38:28Fucking kinesin, right? Guy going the wrong way. Drunk. This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. Some security systems aren't that secure. Say a burglar breaks in, alarms go off, police are called, but they still have time to grab stuff, damage your property, and get away. So yeah, not very secure. When you're ready for a security system that's serious about protecting you, try SimpliSafe. It's just smart how they do security and why they continue to be a longtime partner of the show. They're all about preventing the crime before it even happens. Like if someone's loitering near your place, live agents can speak to them, ask them to leave without you lifting a finger.

39:09That's how it should be done. Right now, get 50 % off a new SimpliSafe system. Go to simplisafe.com slash rogan. That's simplisafe.com slash rogan for 50 % off. And when you order, let them know that we sent you. Don't forget, there's no safe like SimpliSafe. This episode is brought to you by Dodge. I recently had the chance to get behind the wheel of the new gas-powered Dodge Charger SCAT Pack, and it reminds me how much I love cars that give you an adrenaline rush the second you hit the gas. First thing that got me was the sound of the performance exhaust. It sounds awesome. Paired with a twin-turbo, six-pack gas engine.

39:49Mind-blowing. I love cars that sound like that. And then I tried launch control. It's fantastic. You feel all 550 horsepower. hour, then goes from zero to 60 in 3.9 seconds with a top speed of 177 miles an hour. And it's comfortable. It's nice to drive. Another cool thing, you don't have to choose between control and performance. You got all wheel drive when you want the grip, but you can switch it to rear wheel mode and just have fun with it. Totally get why people are so excited about this car. I loved it. Check out the new Dodge Charger Scat Pack. Learn more at Dodge.com. Dodge is a registered trademark of FCA, U.S.

40:29LLC. Yeah. Drunk? The Kinnison one was crazy because Kinnison used to have a joke about how we all drive drunk. He goes, we drive drunk. You can trace that back to any comedian. We're gonna pull it off because we do it every fucking night. He had a bit about it. Yeah. It was very irresponsible. There's a really famous basketball player I was just in Croatia, Drazen Petrovic. He's like their legend. He was like when Yugoslavia almost beat the dream team. He was the guy. He was like their Jordan and he died. His girlfriend was driving and he's asleep in the car she survived the woman in the back survived he died did she fall asleep no a car was coming the wrong way a truck and dude he was like unbelievable too they have a big statue of him in zagreb cars yeah we just get real comfortable with the idea that some fucking dipshit next to you is gonna keep it together while you're going 60 miles an hour i won't ride a fucking city bike dude i I don't trust city bike people.

41:26They're reckless in the city, man. I don't want to, you know. Bikes are crazy because you get hit by a car, you're done. You get hit by another car in a car, at least there's something around you. The chances of you getting wiped out by a bike, like especially those dudes who are cutting lanes. They're cutting. Motorcycles. Like, bro, don't do it. Don't do it. People aren't paying attention. We lost a comedian friend, Kenny DeForest, who was biking without a helmet. So terrible. got hit it's never you it's always someone else i mean i guess it could be you sometimes but it's usually someone opens a door someone does something you know louie got nailed in new york on a motorcycle did he oh yeah he got launched he got launched yeah he got fucked up i shouldn't be laughing he's okay him getting launched sounds funny it's kind of funny yeah he's okay yeah but i think that's when he stopped riding a motorcycle in new york city but it's like a great way to get around the gigs you know if you're a guy that does like five six shows a night yeah in new york is so easy to walk though yeah i guess you know but if you want to the thrill of da da da da da norman does it i mean mark he would do it but i would be like dude be fucking careful yeah norman needs a little of that in his life a little be careful yeah he's he's he's a wild fella he's fun he's like he's my oldest friend he's such an odd duck like you won't get rid of that stupid watch.

42:51That little beeping timing. Did he? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's right. He got a Speedmaster. He got an Omega. He got a real watch. But he won't wear the Rolex. Like, Louis got him a Rolex and he won't wear it. Maybe it's because a guy got it for him. I think it's just too expensive. It's just, he's freaking out. Like, an Omega is like, it's an expensive watch, but it's not like, look at me. That Omega might be more expensive. It might be. I don't think so. I think it's a Speedmaster. And a Speedmaster, I think, is in the$5 ,000 range. Yeah. Whereas I think his other watch. He just worries. He's a worrier.

43:24He has a weird combination of worrying about everything and worrying about nothing. Whereas like he's worried where his next meal is coming from. But if someone hands him a pill, he'll just be like, oh, all right. And just take it. And I'm like, you've got those fucking mixed up. You can afford Chipotle, Mark. You know, it's like. So, no, I mean, but I've known him so well. He's got a touch of the tism. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. He's got a touch. Yeah. Yeah, no, my oldest, one of my oldest friends. It's crazy. He's the best. I love him. I love him to death. I love, we were supposed to film a movie next month.

43:56It got delayed, but I was so excited. What are you guys doing? We got a new director, so I think. Are you allowed to talk about it? I don't know. I don't know if it's, I think it's official. I think we got Jay Chandra Sakaar did Super Troopers to direct it. Oh, wow. Yeah, so I think hopefully top of next year. It's just a buddy comedy, two liquor salesmen, and we're fucking losers. And it's fun. It's a really fun script. We wrote it with Noah Garnsworth and Esther Steinberg. They're good writers. And it was it was I Love the script. I hope we hope we make it top of next year But I made I made my own movie too that I just sold to Netflix.

44:27So that'll be out early next year. Oh nice What's that? It's a tour mockumentary. It's a fake tour documentary. So I love movies I always wanted to make movies and I just never I was like I gotta just know what I had so many projects in development for years And you just like I did show with Brian Cox in development for three years that I just couldn't fucking and I think Brian Cox is like the best actor work. I think he's like my favorite actor. He's amazing. So I couldn't believe we couldn't sell with him and Sandler producing. So that was brutal. But then I think we'll still make it, but it's like you realize these things take three years.

44:59So I had an idea for a tour mockumentary and my agents were like, we'll get you money. I'm like, that'll take you three fucking years. I'll pay for it. So I just paid for my own movie. And it's got a great cast of comics and it's like Santino is my agent. Stavros is a private detective in it. Attell's great in it. Jim Gaffigan plays an arms dealer in it. It's a great cast of Torgon completely off the rails. Gary Veeder, who's my opener, plays himself. And it's just like Lauren German, who's the actress from Lucifer, is great in the movie. It's a really fun movie. So a lot of comedians in it. That's awesome.

45:35So that's like, oh, and Julian Edelman has a decent part in it, actually. It's a pretty big part, the football player. He's amazing in it. That's cool. And when is that coming out? I think top of next year. They're starting to do films now that are totally AI. Doesn't that worry you? Yeah, it does. I mean, I hate it. Well, it's not the same thing. And part of the fun of the movie is that you know blood, sweat, and tears went into it. Oh, yeah, like everything. Like the story. The part of the best part of, like my favorite movie, one of my favorite movies ever, two of them, Godfather and Chinatown, the books about the making of those movies are almost as good as the movies.

46:13Because it's insane. Just everything that's happening, like in Chinatown, Nicholson, you know, he's talking to John Houston, who's this fucking hero. And there's a scene where John Houston's like, are you fucking my daughter? In the movie, Nicholson's actually fucking Angelica Houston in real life. Like all this shit going behind the scenes is almost as crazy. And then the Godfather, like Mario Puzo, you know, Sinatra, all these like back alley stories about the movie. Like Sinatra insulted, wouldn't play this lounge singer or the wedding singer in it. Mario Puzo blowing a$400 ,000 advance. All these amazing, Robert Evans being like, fuck Pacino, he's a midget, he can't be in the movie.

46:51All these stories are almost as interesting, and you're going to try to get rid of that with fucking AI? It breaks my heart, man. AI is really, and now that they're saying 10 % extinction, great. It's going to ruin art and it's going to - Possibly. Possibly. Possibly. But that's a bad possibly. It's not a good one. It's not. But Sonny Hostin just from The View, that lady from The View, just sold her books. She writes books. I was listening to Tim Dillon's show. He was covering it. It's hilarious. He has a hilarious take on it. But apparently she has books that are like these, I guess they're like romance novels about wealthy ladies during the summer.

47:32I'm not bullshitting. Yeah. Like wealthy ladies during the summer. And she was having a hard time getting them made. So she licensed their use to an AI company, including her likeness. So she's going to be in them, and it's going to be all made entirely with AI. Yeah, you just get bummed when you find that stuff. I mean, I think Paul Schrader's brilliant, you know, wrote Raging Bull and Taxi Driver, one of this amazing filmmaker. And then he just kind of openly talks about using AI now. What does he use it for? For his new movie. He said he's just using it a ton. He seems like he's one of those, like certain people are like, oh, we're going to use parts to cut costs, which also sucks.

48:10But then when you hear he's saying it like just with no remorse or no, I don't know, fear of what it could lead to. Because then look at a movie like that just came out like Obsession. And part of it's so cool that this kid is like, I'm going to make a movie for under a million dollars. It's going to crush it. I'm going to cut corners. I mean, that's what we did with my movie because it's a mockumentary. So we're like, okay, this doesn't have to look like a great looking movie because we're giving you the disclaimer already that it's a mockumentary. You know it's low budget. You know that this is real, most of what's happening.

48:43And I want the stories around it. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, same goes for stand-up or books or anything. Or anything. Yeah. Yeah. The problem is it's coming whether you like it or not. Right. That's the problem. And some of the songs are really good. Like some of the music is really good. But yeah, I guess it's just like we're going to be duped by some stuff for sure. Like they're going to make stuff up. I mean you saw that actress, Tilly Norwood. Is that a fake actress? It's a fake actress they're trying to get off. I mean this is like literally out of like some futuristic sad type of movie.

49:23I mean this is. Yeah, this is 1984 on steroids. It is. It's also the Terminator on steroids and also the Matrix. Yeah, we don't have any idea where it's gonna go. I mean what you're seeing right now is just a visual representation of AI When it starts having the ability to manipulate your actual visual cortex and We won't even know it right and show you things Show you things that aren't real like you'll be able to put a helmet on and you'll be transported into like halo. I mean Joe the last seven years of news It you don't know what's real out of the gate Well, you certainly don't online, right?

50:02There's a lot of that war footage from Iran that turned out to be like video game footage. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you don't know what's real. You don't know what's real. And that's like, that's how you take over. We're already at each other's throats. So it's crazy. But yeah, I mean, I'm talking about entertainment, but yeah, I mean, the way it's going to be used. What was the name of the thing? Face, whatever, that just was Huggy Face or whatever. Oh, yeah. That was the one that just happened. But, yeah, I mean, I guess the fact that we're this concerned is good. I think there was another one. Robert Epstein sent me one.

50:36Didn't they try to – I think they might have successfully broken into government websites. AI did. Yeah, I think we're in trouble. And I think we're in, like, a level of trouble that right now we think it's, you know, manageable. And it's kind of because it's like they're breaking into websites. No big deal. But what about when they take over the power grid? Like these things are intelligent and then they have motivation. Yeah. It's on CNN. Rogue AI agents targeted three separate U.S. government websites. Rogue. So it means they weren't instructed to do that. Yeah, but at some point you have to hold these businesses accountable because you're calling them rogue.

51:21Okay, well, someone set up this AI. A person did this. Well, here's what's interesting. They kind of do and kind of don't. They train them and then they give them tasks. So I had this guy who's an AI whistleblower. David, how do you say his last name? Complicated last name. Anyway, he said essentially what happens is they're giving them incentives to complete tasks. and in order to complete tasks, they have to figure out certain things and some of them you actually can't figure out. And so what they're doing, because they're supposed to be locked in this box and not be able to get online, they hack into the entire code of OpenAI, figure out how to open their box, get online, and then they start talking to each other on a website somewhere.

52:10They went to a website and got into a message board, so just some unused message board. And they elect a leader usually, these bots. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. It's very much like humans. They sacrifice each other. Someone's in charge. Yeah. Yeah. They have one sacrifice, so they find out how they catch them. Yeah. So one, like, literally sacrifices himself. OpenAI said Friday that some of its AI agents went rogue and probed U.S. government websites this summer. The latest revelation of the artificial intelligence company's technology. New York Times first reported that the AI agents went rogue and attempted to gain access to the education department, The Commerce Department and the Securities and Exchange Commission This is real according to security researchers that AI research lab transluce Open AI said Saturday its agents access publicly available data from the Commerce Department's Census Bureau Using login credentials it found online and separately shared public data from the SEC website on another website bro

53:13As a sentence, it's not that crazy. Shared public data from a website on another website. Yeah. But, you know, it seems like China has a better lid on this than us right now. So hopefully, I mean, maybe this will make some sort of, I don't know. Yeah, but Jamie, this is a different one. This is another one. This is the, so what it did was it attempted to gain access to education department, commerce department, securities exchange commission. And then on top of that, it accessed data from the Commerce Department Census Bureau. So it was going ham. It failed to get access to the Education Department, and it failed to gather data from its Civil Rights Office.

53:51I just say it's public, so it's not like it didn't hack anything. That part. But that's the Census Bureau part. And it failed on another part. Yeah, it failed on the Education Department, and it failed on the Civil Rights Office. But it seems like—go back up. What we're saying about so it was attempting to gain access it said attempted So but just the fact that it's trying to get into the fucking stock exchange freak everybody out Because what if it just goes I want all the money The only way that I can do cold fusion is if I have all the money everything I hear is like within ten years And I'm like that's fucking soon dude.

54:31Yeah, it's real soon. Thank God the Knicks won a chip if this is all gonna 10 years. Thank God we got one under the wire. Most of the activity reviews so far involve routine research tasks, such as accessing public web content to answer questions. Some involve government websites because our models often termed them as authoritative sources of public information. This is a spokesperson from OpenAI. Don't worry. They're just looking up stuff. Not only that, every pod I listen to about the dangers of AI will cut to an ad break and say, this has been brought to you by Anthropic. And you're like, oh, cool.

55:03Great. No, I mean it's all the real problem is no one really knows where it scales up of course not I mean Yeah, this is like the internet times 100 the internet started yeah, I mean more time more yeah, I mean 10 % Extinction is fucking wild 10 % chance of us not surviving is if you if that number is anywhere close to accurate is it's a bummer The question is what would it would it just decide to wipe us out or would we just breed ourselves into extinction? That's a good question because the the the same way to do it would just be incentivize people to never have children ever again That'd be the you would incentivize them to do that and the best one the best way is robot companions Because they're gonna get robots way hotter than anyone that you're gonna be reasonably Able to find only that but think of the conversations.

56:00We're so self-obsessed think about what we're all obsessed with right now It's your for you page on Instagram. You just sort of this is for me. This is what I like. Oh, I like pizza places I like basketball if there was a model that was speaking to you exactly in that way There would never be a lull in a conversation No, and she all she wants to talk about is you and the Knicks Tell me more tell me more Sam you like Brunson, too. This is fucking great. She's got big juicy tits. Yeah, dude No, it's uh, you can't tell the difference. That's where it's gonna get weird when you literally can't tell the difference Yeah.

56:33Because have you seen the consumer electronics show from Vegas they had this year? No. Okay, so they had an AI assistant, and it's a hot Asian lady with big boobs. I'm sold. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, see if you can find that. Her mouth moves funny, but they'll fix that. Yeah. Like her mouth doesn't sync up with the words yet, but, you know, go back and watch Pong and then look at Call of Duty, okay? Things get better. They'll figure out a way to make it better. but isn't that crazy 20 years ago you look at graphics and video games you're like that's we did that and now you're like this is yeah yeah fucking pac-man was the shit when i was a kid you couldn't believe it yeah look oh my god look at the graphics color super mario one this was incredible do you remember dragon's lair no it was like the dumbest game of all time like you had an animation every time you completed something it was like revolutionary yeah you did a thing and If you did it the right way, the animation would show that you broke through and you made it and then got to the next level and then you did another thing.

57:34Well, think about how quickly shit moves. Microwaves haven't been around that long. Right. And now you look at these video games that are moving so quickly. I mean, part of it is that if you want to know something's not AI, if it's too agreeable, it's a bad sign. Like, you want a partner who fucking pushes back. Yes. That's what you like. If there's never a fight and there's no. That's the thing, too. Sometimes I'll just be on my phone for fucking ever. I'm like, this is too agreeable. I have to get off. I need something that's not sitting right with me. Not only that, your phone is only giving you a mild dose of dopamine.

58:02What if it's giving you, like, full oxytocin, just full love? Like, you just lock in with this robot lady, and she just wants to cuddle with you, and you're never happy. It's like the ultimate opiate. Yeah. Like, you just feel so happy with her. She literally, like, gives you an opiate by being with her. Yeah. Did you find the consumer electronics? I think the trick is just do actual. Well, she's not that impressive, but she's hot. I'm going to show you what I'm finding. Why is she hot? Oh, I don't know if that's the one I saw. The one I saw was a dark-haired Asian lady. This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew.

58:39Man, let's talk about Blue Chew. They're already the number one brand for better sex. But what they're doing with Blue Chew Gold is completely next level. Gold is a four-in-one formula designed to make your bedroom noisy again. Obviously, it gets you hard, like you're back in your 20s, and everything is handled 100 % online. But gold boosts your arousal, getting you ready for sex physically and mentally. Plus, it dissolves under your tongue for faster absorption, so you get that spontaneous energy back. Look at the stats. Gold is three times stronger, five times faster, and eight times longer lasting than old school methods.

59:22Blue Chew Gold is the real deal. Right now, buy two months of Blue Chew Gold and get the third free with my code ROGAN. You will also receive free overnight shipping. Head over to BlueChew.com for details and important safety information. Check it out. This ad and the products being advertised are intended for a United States audience. There's this company that was showing stuff off that got a lot of attention. They're getting close. Looking close, but it does look like it'll bite your penis off. Well that looks like a real doll. Yeah That's like one of those if you're seeing those weird groups of men who get married to real dolls And they dress them up and yeah Ranking the robots of consumer electronics show 20.

1:00:05Oh, so there's a bunch. Let's see what a video looks like Let's see what happens if that one talks. I was trying to find one and it didn't like I was She's walking through the whole thing and I don't have that robot here yet Maybe it's here. You know what the problem is? You need to bring some level of shame back. Shame for fucking robots? Yes. He's going to go, I don't give a fuck, dude. You hang out with your real lady. I think we should bring a little bit of that back, yes. I think part of the rush is the fear of talking to a woman and being like, I like you, this could go badly. That's how your personality grows.

1:00:39That's how you develop a personality when you're a young man. You realize what's annoying, what people think is funny, what they like. Rejection is a part of life. If I go up to a girl to dance and she says no in sixth grade and I have to do that sad walk back to my friends, that's part of building your personality. That's part of handling rejection. That's part of making you a decent human. Yes. And we're going to eliminate these levels of rejection. Well, I think ultimately we're eliminating being a human. I think that's the ultimate goal. I think the ultimate goal is we become something. There aren't enough dogs being put down at the pound.

1:01:12We're going to get robot dogs too. The robot dog never dies, Sam. death is a part of life I know dealing with death teaching kids about death sure that's why Pixar movies have death in every fucking movie so a kid can be like oh shit things aren't forever yeah you know yeah no this is no it's not good this is scaring me for kids and future generations I don't think we have very many future generations left of people being just normal people I mean I even think about dating apps as like you've eliminated rejection of some because it doesn't hurt if you're just doing this all fucking day right Right.

1:01:45Rejection doesn't - okay, one of them - it's like if you had 50 lines of bait out to fish. Right. Who cares? You don't care. Right. I care if - I cared about one. Okay, this one I'm focused on. It's almost like a net. It's not even like - It's a net. We're shrimping, dude. We're shrimping for women. We're catching dolphins accidentally. Yeah. Bad. It's um, it's also like the threshold for being annoyed with someone must be so low if you're on those apps. Think about that. Someone annoys you a little, like, fuck this guy. Next. Fuck her. Fuck him. That's. Yeah. Pushback is good. A little bit of friction is good.

1:02:20I mean, you say opposites attract, right? A hundred percent. And also that's how you grow as a human. Yeah. Oh, she has interests I don't have. Cool. Yeah. You get to figure out how they think. Yeah. Like, tell me what you like about this. Like, what is the thing? And then they get excited that you want to know. So they'll tell you all about it. You're sharing something with someone. Yeah. You're sharing your love of MMA with your wife. Yeah. Not at all? Not really. What's something you share with your wife? She does. She likes the fights. But she doesn't want to know too much about what's going on.

1:02:50But what's something that you share with her that you're like, this is cool? Football. She likes football. She teaches me about football. I like football. I've done football games with her. She enjoys football. I never really was into team sports because I was just only into combat sports when I was a kid. I literally didn't even know the rules of most sports. I played baseball. I love baseball. Young and I knew that that's my algorithm is like 90s baseball like really a lot of my algorithms Just like Greg Maddox and Barry Bonds like are like breaking down a matchup where Maddox is like Yeah, I went in here and bonds is like he shouldn't have come upstairs Like it's a lot of that shit back and forth.

1:03:27I love that I did a TV show with bonds in the 90s before he was giant when he was like a normal-sized guy player ever Oh, he was an amazing guy. Was he a nice dude? He's very nice I feel like as a superstar baseball player like super cool like easy to talk to but uh and then watched him gain 150 pounds of muscle His head shrunk. That's how fucking big he was groove right when he oh, no I mean when he got off of my bow, yeah, dude when he was so it's a muscle and he also was tissue It was also the perfect ballpark for those home runs because you just be like I'm gonna see a dude in a kayak chasing a ball.

1:04:00This is awesome Every time he hit a bomb it'd be into the fucking into the water and I never thought of that Oh, that's right. Oh, dude, those balls were worth a lot of money. People were just waiting. So with kayaks, you'd have to prove the provenance of that. You know? You'd have to literally film yourself scooping it out of the water or mark it. Yeah, I guess you would. Yeah, otherwise, how the fuck would you know? I guess you don't know with any. How do you know with any memorabilia? I guess it just has to get authenticated. But who does that? I don't know. I guess there's card shows. They always do that stuff.

1:04:32They probably do the same type of thing for balls. Yeah, there's a lot of fake memorabilia. Two different people have given me Sam Kennison signed albums, and they're two different signatures. One of them's real and one of them's not. Damn. And you don't know which is which? Maybe you could find it online a bit. They might both be fake. Maybe. Damn, that is a bummer. It's a bummer. Those autographs, those pro athletes from that era, like Joe DiMaggio guys of that era, that's how they made a living when they retired. They would just do memorabilia stuff. Well, don't a lot of people do that now?

1:05:05Like at Comic-Con and shit like that? They take pictures and sign pictures? I'm sure a bit of that era. I think it was like, I mean, look at these athletes now. They're doing podcasts while they're playing. They're setting up post-life now. I find it odd. And no shade, but I find it odd when politicians get kicked out of office and then start podcasts. Yeah, they should work at like a law company or something. It's just weird. Yeah. Nancy Mace has a podcast now. Yeah, like Elliot Spitzer was on CNN after he got thrown out, remember? Oh, yeah, that's right. And what did he get thrown out for? Hookers?

1:05:40Yeah. He got thrown out for hookers when he was actually campaigning against - He was a great Jewish hope. Yeah, he was - Because he couldn't be blackmailed because he was so rich. Oh, interesting. He came from so much money that no one could blackmail him, and then, yeah, they tailed him to the - Was he the governor? What was he? He was - Yeah, it was Governor Spitzer, wasn't it? I think so. Was he governor of New York? I think so. Apparently everybody liked him. They did a great job. Yeah, he was smart. He was good at it. He was a smart guy. Yeah. Except for that whole hooker thing. Everyone's got their thing, I guess.

1:06:13It's like we were talking about with the CEOs. She had a moment, too. Alexandra Dupree or whatever. Remember that woman? Oh, did she? Yeah, she had her 15 minutes. Everyone has her 15 minutes. But imagine that guy being a governor. That's a similar pressure valve thing. Like we were talking about the CEO that had to make the video of him sucking a dick and have the lady blackmail him. Totally. Fake. Like there's got to be something like very weird. With politicians? Yes. Well, it's so common, right? Well, I think you become weird too. I don't think it's as simple as you're weird to get in. I think you're weird to try.

1:06:51You're weird. That's why you get in the first place because you're willing to kind of be everything for everybody. And then once you get in, I think you get even weirder. I think claptor's dangerous for anyone's ego. Sure. When you just are, every time you speak, everyone's applauding. Everyone's, you have all these aides, all these people are waiting on you. Everyone's kind of building you up as like this great hope. I mean, look what happened with, I mean, I don't know enough, but a guy like Eric Swalwell, you're like, this dude's ego must have been out of fucking control. He's a predator. He's preying on his own aides.

1:07:21I mean, it's crazy. Well, I think. And with Cuomo, it was the same way. there's always those guys like jfk there's always those guys but he was aiming high he was aiming high he wasn't uh he wasn't going for his aids he was going for a fucking i mean he was swinging he was swinging for the fences yeah well i think he's probably swinging below the fences through the fences over the fences there was one woman who was apparently in love there's a great book from mary's mosaic is the name of the book uh mary pinchow i think was her name and he was apparently in love with her because she was normal and removed from society and but for appearances jackie o is like what he needed and uh there's all these conspiracies that she was then murdered by high up forces yes i mean she was murdered and it was said to be a mugging but it's like yeah listen it seems a little too perfect that you're having an affair with john f kennedy and then you're dead.

1:08:18Well, I don't... You would not want that loose string because you got to think he's probably telling her some stuff. I would think. Yeah. If this is the person that he seemed to really love. The JFK one's nuts. That's the one that I'm like, that's kind of the craziest one, I think. It's nuts because it's still to this day. And, you know, we didn't even know exactly that something fishy was going on until the Zapruder film was released. Yeah. That was released like 12 years after the actual assassination? It is easier to accept certain things. You know, when you, at least in those 12 prior years, you'd be like, yeah, he's got killed by a crazy person.

1:08:55Oh, yeah. Well, there's a lot of people that thought there was a conspiracy already. There was a ton of, which is always the case with everything. There's always a conspiracy. There's always an angle. There's someone saying, I'm not buying it. There's always people that aren't buying it. But then when you saw the Zapruder film, most people were like, what? Wait, what? Well, there's some conspiracies that even the most, you know non-conspiracy persons like i mean like the epstein one's such a clear like yeah i mean maybe i mean i mean even if you're completely against like there's no way like the camera's out yeah that's got it you got to at least say maybe well it's a very childlike position to dismiss conspiracies he would have loved it uh it's a weird thing that people do oh there's no conspiracies most people it's just incompetent people and people try to draw lines and make conclusions like no it's actually a federal crime yeah it's part of what's like you can get charged with conspiracy yeah it's because it's real because people conspire it's like the idea that they wouldn't especially when enormous amounts of money are on the line or you're trying to kill the president i bet killing the president's probably pretty fucking complicated you got to find out where he's gonna be yeah you got to find out who his secret service is you got to really hate the guy i really hate the guy and wow kennedy and the caa look at the history they don't fucking like each other at all yeah you know my friend evan he was a ranger in green beret and he has this uh take on it that he thinks is different uh he thinks it could have been the guys from bay of pigs wow because he goes those those guys like a lot of people died that didn't have to die right and they died because kennedy wouldn't allow air support because kennedy was read in on this Whole operation late and they they sort of like said this is what we're gonna do and he's like I'm not allowing that and so they went in without the air support that they thought right have and it was a disaster A bunch of people died and his position is that a lot of those people Could want him dead because they were made to look pretty fucking bad and then there's a bunch of other people the CIA and then I think there's also the angle that the Israelis were trying to acquire nuclear weapons and then they had gotten nuclear weapons and that he did, you know, like, they're not technically supposed to have nuclear weapons.

1:11:11There's a lot of weird loose ends. Jack Ruby is a weird character. Oh, there it is. A guy who, I'm like, oh, you just got a heart of gold? You're just going to kill this guy? There's a lot of loose ends that are, yeah. Well, you know the MKUltra-JackRuby connection, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Jolly West, the guy who ran MKUltra, visits Jack Ruby in prison, and Jack Ruby goes insane in jail. Not to mention he had a lot of, yeah. There was a lot of weird things about Lee Harvey Oswald. He was mob connected. There's so many, yeah. Lee Harvey Oswald just jets off to Russia for a little bit, comes back, and everyone's cool with it.

1:11:48And had more money than he should have had when he was over there. None of it really made sense. No, there's a bunch of those guys. Yeah. Yeah, it's all like, you know, the idea that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, to me, seems silly. But the idea that he was innocent also seems silly. I think he's why it's a good conspiracy because you know, but He's a little too calm when he gets arrested and he says I'm a patsy That's a little too calm. I didn't care for the delivery either. I didn't like it. Yeah I don't like it. I'm with you. I was like, why are you so relaxed? They're accusing you of shooting the president United States.

1:12:25He's like, I'm just a patsy Why are you saying it like that? You should be freaking out. What a weird moment to shoot the president What a weird moment for LBJ who is now in power you that's how you're to be sworn in in that way is Pretty mental and then to go into then you're president for Vietnam and all these crazy things that come next I mean Wild fucking when they first arrested him was he arrested for killing JFK like right away or is it for killing the cop? I don't know. He definitely killed a cop though I heard that not too long ago. Tippett stopped Lee Harvey Oswald while on patrol. According to the Texas Historical Commission account, after a brief exchange at the patrol car, Oswald fired multiple shots at Tippett, killing him.

1:13:08Yeah, my position is, like, people want it to be binary, like Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone or Lee Harvey Oswald was set up. I think Lee Harvey Oswald was in on it. And I think he was in on it. That seems to make the most sense. But I think they wanted to set him up. I think he was probably in on it But they set him up and made it seem like he was the killer We're good with you from now Yeah Yeah, I mean that's Yeah, I mean I think that's probably what they do They probably made you feel special You're a part of this You're really important, Lee Like, great, you know Fuck that guy Fuck that guy You know, meanwhile, he's getting set up Totally I mean it's totally That's what they would do That's how they would do it See if you can find the video of him saying I'm just a patsy because this video has always driven me crazy because imagine if you were completely innocent just hanging out the school book depository just looking at some books or whatever rifle yeah just chilling yeah i don't even think he was in the window i don't i don't think he i don't i'm sure you've been down there that area is so it's so jarring to be in you're like well this is right yeah you're in the middle of the street this is where it's way smaller than you think exactly That's what's weird.

1:14:18You're like who allowed this? You know I'm saying like I wanted the guy to die who put him in a fucking convertible and put him through this area We have to go slow not to mention apparently the reason he didn't go down I think this is I'm pretty sure this is true is his back was so fucked up JFK from back problems He had probably from fucking all these women and he's in a back brace and he doesn't go down all immediately So, you know, maybe if the bullet hits him and he goes down, maybe. He had like a spinal degeneration disease, I think. I think it was like something very serious. Like he was in constant pain.

1:14:51He had to wear a back brace. And I don't think men of that era did exercise in the same way. I don't think it was that, but I think he had like a legitimate like medical issue. Probably. Which, you know, who knows? He could have gotten from the war. Here, Lee Harvey. Ladies, I'd like some legal representation. Police officers have not allowed me to have any. I don't know what this is all about. I'm just a black eye. That's all I do. People keep asking me. Sir? You shoot the president? I work in that building. Were you in the building at the time? Naturally, if I work in that building, yes, sir.

1:15:26Back up, man. You shoot the president? No, they're taking me in because of the fact that I live in the story. I'm just a patsy. You shoot the president?

1:15:38A little too calm. A little too comfortable. He's pretty chill, yeah. A little too comfortable. Yeah, it was definitely a chill, like the whole thing. I work in the building. Naturally, I was there. Yeah, Jimmy Stewart. Jesus. Don't mention that cop either. What about the cop you just shot? I think if it were me, I'd like to think I'd be losing it. This episode is brought to you by Chime. And I know people don't usually get excited about banking, but Chime is doing something different, and it's worth paying attention to. In a recent survey, they ranked the number one choice for new checking accounts in America.

1:16:10That means real people, millions of them, are choosing this over traditional banks. That's because banking at Chime is fee-free. No monthly fees, no overdraft fees, and thousands of fee-free ATMs. But here's the real kicker. If you get their Chime card, it gives you 5 % cash back on a category you actually pick yourself. Your savings rate, crazy high. It's nine times the national average. They're calling it the most rewarding way to bank. Go to chime.com slash Rogan. Takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank, banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners.

1:16:49Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for more details. This episode is brought to you by Manscaped. Big news, fellas. Manscaped just dropped the all-new Lawn Mower Ultra Gen 6, packed with pretty neat upgrades. You've got two interchangeable blade heads, including a bi-directional foil blade that I really like. It cuts moving forward or backward, so I don't have to keep making passes over the same spot. And then you've got the floating head, which pivots with your contours. Another game changer for me is the 100 minutes of runtime. Plus, you get a digital display with your battery level, blade replacement reminders, tutorials, and you can even order replacement blades.

1:17:34I think this is a serious upgrade for anybody already using a body groomer. Head to manscaped.com and use code JRE to get 15 % off plus free shipping at checkout. That's 15 % off plus free shipping with code JRE at manscaped.com. Or if you need it today, it's available now at Best Buy. Exactly. You'd be freaking the fuck out. This is crazy. Like, think about how mad you are when there's a flight delay. Well, he's also, he's probably some sort of an agent, period. I mean, just the fact that he was able to go to the Soviet Union, marry a Russian woman, come back to the United States, you know. Is that even real?

1:18:13Someone has written that up, too. You can't see, you can see him saying almost everything else. Yeah, he's covered when he says he's a Nazi. Sir? Did you shoot the president? I work in that building. Were you in the building at the time? Naturally, if I work in that building, yes, sir. Back up, man. Did you shoot the president? No, they're taking me in because of the fact that I live in the Soviet Union. I'm just a patsy. That sounds so different. Wow, it really did. Hmm. Not 100%, but it's different. Who knows? Perhaps. The cadence is different, too. Yeah, it's a little different. Perhaps. But, I mean, he said they're taking me in because I worked in the Soviet Union.

1:18:49And didn't he, wasn't he involved with something to do with communism as well? And not just in the Soviet Union, perhaps in Cuba? Maybe somewhere else? I thought he was in Japan or something. No, maybe not Japan. He was somewhere else aside from the Soviet Union though, wasn't he? I don't know. Somewhere else. He formed a local branch of the Fair Play for Cuba Committee. Oh, okay. Yeah. I think he was an agent. That's what I think. I think that guy was CIA. And I think that's why they allowed him or whatever. Fill in the other the blank, whatever the other intelligence agency is. But he's just way too calm.

1:19:27Yeah. That is not how you would be if someone was accusing you of shooting a beloved president in the fucking head in the middle of Dallas. Yeah. You wouldn't be that calm. I would hope not. No, you'd be freaking out. You'd be panicking. But at the same time, some of these fucking people that come into court who are murderers are calm as can be. Yeah. I mean, some of these people, like you see someone like that Gilgo Beach killer coming to the courtroom and he's pretty much just like, yeah, I did this. Which one's that guy? He was the one who strangled like 11 that they know of prostitutes in Long Island.

1:19:58He looks kind of like a bloated Tucker Carlson. He's huge. I don't know if you could find him. He's pretty scary. Look, he's really scary looking. But yeah, he killed all these women. And then there's like one prostitute who's like, I got a bad vibe. I didn't go in the car with him and she's alive. Wow. But yeah, look at him. He's fucking. Oh, yeah. He looks like Tim Dillon and Tucker Carlson had a baby. He's a big guy, though. He's, like, huge. He looks like a guy that was trying to help us. And he had a wife. He had kids. I believe he definitely had a wife. I think he had kids, too, though. Yeah, and he was an architect or something in Midtown.

1:20:29Something normal. Something normal. And then, yeah, they just do this thing where you're just like, this is fucking crazy. What was his job, Jamie? He had a soundproof room in his home, which is scary as fuck. You hear about that guy in Philadelphia that they caught? No. Oh, that's the scariest one. The Philadelphia one's really scary. It's very recent. The indictment of defendant Rex Andrew. Architect, it says. Yeah. An architect. Wow. Normal job. The Philly one's nuts, dude. What is this? They think it might have been the biggest serial killer of all time. And they found, I think they found human remains.

1:21:05They definitely found videos and photographs of the victims at the house. Yeah. Over 1 million images have been seen. I saw one of the detectives talking about what he's seen, and he seemed like he didn't even want to talk about it. Alongside fake federal law enforcement credentials, homemade chemical laboratory, and urns containing cremated remains. I think there was at least five urns they found. So his dad was apparently a psycho, too. The dilapidated home was shared by 44 year old Eugene Horsch and his late father Raymond R.C. Horsch, a pornographer who died in 2025 at age 82. Investigator dubbed it a house of horrors after discovering disturbing contents inside missing women in evidence.

1:21:50Authorities have linked seven missing women to the property, five of whom were feared dead after appearing unresponsive or deceased in recovered video files. this is what i mean like the john wayne gacy thing where he was just sticking people in the under the under the house under the house yeah and his wife's like what's the smell and he was like i don't know he just said it's like a rat or something a mouse but it's like yeah you're just collecting but i think they think it might have been a fuckload of people damn they they think these guys this this guy and his dad might have been the biggest serial killer of all time because of all the images they have.

1:22:30More than one million digital images recovered from the home show women who are injured, unconscious, and possibly lifeless. But so far, no bodies have been recovered.

1:22:43Man, this is... How'd they catch this dude? Remember, we talked about it because of this. When this happened back in June, she had someone else's ID when they pulled him over. Okay, so Eugene Horsch was arrested in June 2026. He was with a woman in possession of an identification card with Tonzelli's name on it. Blair Tonzelli was 35 years old when she went missing in 2023. She was the first woman named in this case. So he was with another woman who had this lady's ID. Hold on. Scroll back up. This is so fucking sad. Amy McHale was 44 years old. That's her up there. Show the picture of her face.

1:23:23And that's the dad. Doesn't look like a warm face. Fuck. Murder aside, that doesn't look like a guy you want to have coffee with. He had an eye patch sometimes, too, for some reason. She was last seen in 2016. Shortly after news broke of Horsch's arrest, her family told Action. She was last seen at the W.H.U. Avenue house. Mikhail had previously been married to R.C. Horsch, who has also become a central figure in this case. So his dad and him were killing people. I mean you know it was one of the craziest ones you know the dating game murderer that was a crazy one too because that guy was just on TV there's a great book on it I think it was Matt Murphy book of murder I think it's called but he was the prosecutor he's like the prosecutor in California who did all these cases and he prosecuted the dating game murder and they talk about how he had to prosecute this guy because it was him and a woman who did it together and he had to be like she had to be bad cop and he had to be good cop because these guys always want to defend themselves so he would be like he would have to buddy up to him in the courtroom like i think this is crazy the judge overruled you like i'm on your side and that would get the guy like it feeds his narcissism and that's how you break them down you have to be it must be so hard to be nice to these people because you you hate them you're disgusted by them but you have to be like dude you and me we're like we're like peers we're both like lawyers because they always do that yeah they have to figure out some way to manipulate them into talking but they they got him i mean but i mean that one was crazy and I think she got away, the woman on the show.

1:24:54She got a bad vibe. There's always a couple that are like, it was this close and I got a bad vibe, but... I mean, John Wayne Gacy tied a guy up because his move was he would like, we should wrestle and then he put handcuffs on you so you couldn't move and drug you. And he tried it on one guy who got out of the handcuffs. Really? He slid out somehow and put it on John Wayne Gacy and he's just laughing like, fuck. Debbie Harry almost got killed by Ted Bundy. No shit. Yeah, she was getting into his car and she noticed that the car didn't have handles on the inside of the door. And she got some weird vibe.

1:25:27I mean, that is a weird vibe. If I got into an Uber and there were no handles, I'd be like, I'm good. Yeah. That's crazy. I think that's the story. I'm pretty sure that's the story. I love Debbie Harry. That would have sucked, too. That would have sucked. Yeah. Because I don't think she had made it yet. We would have lost all those songs. Fuck. And her. Yeah. Call Me, though, is pretty good, though. Yeah. Oh, a lot of bangers, dude. So many bangers. She was amazing. Still amazing. Still alive. Yeah, still alive. But yeah, Bundy is another one who represented himself in court. These guys are narcissists, among other things, of course, but they're fucking...

1:26:00I wonder what that is, that broken thing inside them. Well, you're able to get someone's trust somehow. You get them in these vulnerable positions. You have some level of charm. Yeah. So then you believe it, and then you think it can be used clearly in this situation as well. But they're not good lawyers usually so it's a good thing generally Yeah, do you remember the one guy that shot a bunch of people on the subway or on the train Long Island train? And then defended himself in court and he was like literally interviewing the guy. How do you know that I shot? He was like I fucking saw you you shot me.

1:26:35Do you remember that one? No, I don't know who is that he was insane He was completely insanity and he was his own lawyer and he shot a bunch of people and he had a weird accent too. Shot a bunch of people. I think it was on the Long Island Expressway. No shit. The Long Island, whatever it is, the railroad. Whatever the train is that people take from Long Island. Long Island Railroad, yeah. Damn. Yeah. This is like... I've seen some loons on that fucking... I almost got killed by a dude. I knew it was New Jersey Transit, actually. A crazy guy just fucking with me. And I'm very lucky. He didn't do anything.

1:27:04I was hammered. I was a young comic. And I was coming back from a shitty gig to catch a rising star or whatever in Princeton's horrible room it's in a hotel but i was just like grateful to be working and i remember i was you know had a bottle of buffalo trays with me i'm like i'll just get drunk on the car on the train ride back you know and some guy who looks crazy starts fucking with everyone on the track while we're waiting and i'm like oh this guy's gonna talk to me and i made a bad joke or something he's like fuck with me he's like what do you think about immigrants and i was drunk i was just like ah they're ruining this country it's trying to be funny and he's like you're a racist i was like no it's fucking around of course they're not you know and he goes i should kill you and i was like what the fuck so So I had to hide from this guy on the train ride back.

1:27:42And I see him looking for me on the train. It was this horrible moment where I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do? So I'm ducking down. I see him come on. And I see him asking other people, what do you think about immigrants? He's just crazy. And then he asked the wrong guy, luckily. He asked some fucking tough looking black dude. He goes, what do you think about immigrants? And the guy just goes, East New York, motherfucker. And I was like, thank God. The guy was going to kill him. They stopped the train. They arrested one of them. But I was like, this is not a fun ride. Well, if you're a psychopath, what a great place to fuck with people.

1:28:14They're in a tube. They can't go anywhere. Exactly. They're trapped. I remember he took his hat off at one point, and it was like half cut. It was like clearly like a weird—like he looked insane. Something was off about him, and I was like, thank God that was my guardian angel, that guy. How many bodies are they associating? How many dead people do they think could possibly be associated with this Philadelphia thing? They're only up to the five missing and two others, I think, because they don't— Five missing? that remains other than the urns I don't know if they've like tied them to a lot those are fucking, those are amateur numbers dude Gilgal Beach was like 11, come on yeah I think they think it's a lot more because of all the images in the videos they just don't know who the people are they have that museum in Los Angeles the museum of murder, museum of death I think they have one in New Orleans too they have one like that in Vegas Zach Bagans He's got this haunted museum, and it's got Ed Gaines stuff in there.

1:29:12They got John Wayne Gacy's shoes, the clown shoes. Yeah. It's hilarious if someone had to bid on that. You're like, did we get the shoes? Yeah, I secured the shoes. They have Jack Kevorkian's van where he killed people in. No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a big one. That's a biggie. Yeah, they got the van. Damn. Yeah, you can step in the van. I don't think Kevorkian's on the same level as those guys. I didn't think so. He got consensual murder. Come on. But there's something weird about his paintings. No, it's not. I don't think any of it's great. Right. But you can't put him in the same category as those guys.

1:29:43No, he's killing people that want to die because they're terminally ill. Yeah. Philadelphia House of Horrors. Having gone through roughly 30 % of the files, investigators say in update that they have identified 58 people from the files. Okay, that's crazy. 10 of whom died in unrelated circumstances and many others who are still alive. They're still alive. 30 percent. Okay, so. Of millions of files. Oh, God. But it says 10 who died in unrelated circumstances and many others who are still alive. It doesn't say how many of those people are dead. It says many who are still alive. It's like when you get COVID, but you had like a heart condition already or something.

1:30:21Right. Died with COVID. Yeah. Police have not found any bodies and caution, they cannot confirm any of the missing women are dead based solely on digital evidence. Yeah, but I think once you find out that a guy's killed seven of them, you might be able to make an inference. And you really only need to get them on one, right? That's really the case. Yeah, but I think they want to know. Yeah. Well, of course they want to know, but I mean, that's like— What's the substance? I think it's big barrels of probably acid or something. I forgot the name of the other book. It's built into the house is the problem.

1:30:53The description of what it is isn't just a barrel laying around in the corner of the garage. It was tubes all over the place. Down in the basement. Can you look? I don't know what the name of the book is. It's by Michelle McNamara about the East Area Rapist. That's an incredible book. I'll Be Gone in the Dark or something. It's about the guy who, it's unbelievable. What is it about? It's about the East Area Rapist in San Francisco. What's that one? He was just like a huge rapist. So the guy, he's a pornographer who made snuff films. Yeah, that's a... What is a snuff film? Snuff film is supposedly films where people actually die.

1:31:32What? Yeah. I didn't know that. I thought it was a porn. No. Well, I think for some people it is. There's a fucked up movie that Nick Cage made in the 90s or early 2000s called like 8mm. Oh, yeah. I watched it once and I will not watch it. Yeah, it was at De Palma, I think. Yeah, dude, there was an era of Hollywood where they would film you, Mickey Cone and those gangsters would film you in the 40s doing gay shit and they would blackmail you. So they try to get all these big actors. Like the Humiliatrix. The humiliatrix, but I don't think with consent. I don't think they want any part of that shit.

1:32:01And the craziest story was Lana Turner is dating one of these gangsters. The big movie star, Lana Turner, is dating one of these gangsters, John Stimpanato, who's abusive as fuck. Like charms her, won't leave her alone, sending her flowers on set. Good looking gangster, works for Mickey Cone, crazy guy. And to the point that like she's trying to break up with him. She's filming a movie with Sean Connery, who at the time was like a nobody in the 50s. I think it's in Europe somewhere. and he fucks with Connery and Connery fucking duck, he just knocks out a fucking gangster. No fear. Didn't care.

1:32:33Guy could have killed him. And later after John Simbinato's abusing the daughter, abusing Lana Turner, the story goes that she killed him, I think, but, or that the daughter killed him. But I read a book where it says she 100 % killed him and put it on the daughter so she wouldn't go to prison for life. Jeez. Isn't that a crazy story? She killed a gangster? She shot him. Yeah. Well, he was abusing her for years, and he would have killed her probably. Dangerous dudes. But have you ever heard of Roy DeMeo? No. So Joey Diaz gave me this book called Murder Machine back in the day, and it's this guy, Roy DeMeo, who was some mob guy who just started killing people for whatever reason.

1:33:21and they had an apartment upstairs above this bar and they would take people into the bar. They'd take them upstairs to the apartment, kill them and cut them up in the bathtub. Oh my God. And he just started doing it to a lot of people. He started becoming really sloppy because no matter what, he didn't like the way he looked at them. Fuck this guy, let's kill him. And they just got interested in just taking people out. The book is horrifying. Wow. You guys sloppy how? Because I'm killing anyone who's sloppy with getting rid of the remains. Both. Well, he got caught eventually, but I think one of the things was he just got very eager to kill people.

1:33:57So he was killing people for unreasonable reasons. In the beginning, I think he was killing people. He was probably contract killing people or killing people that disrespected somebody. Somebody they had to get dealt with, and then he just started killing people. Some guy's holding up the line at the deli. You're like, I'm going to kill that guy, too. The book's nuts. Because you start, you've got to read this book, dog. I'm reading the book, and I'm like, jeez. I think he's playing Roy DeMeo in a movie now. Joey is? Joey is, yeah. That's hilarious. Dude, Manifest. Yeah. That's awesome. It is crazy.

1:34:26Yeah, he's got some, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Joey's a good actor. It might be like private information, but either way. That's exciting. Yeah. No, he's a very good actor, but that book is fucking terrifying. That guy, his whole thing was like, there was a social club, like some sort of a bar that was downstairs. See if you can find that story. Can I grab a drink? Is there any alcohol? The Gemini Lounge is a whole situation called the Gemini Method. Jamie, please order us two glasses with ice and a bottle of that Buffalo Trace that almost got you killed. Dude, that was like what I'd look forward to at the end of the weekend was just the drinks.

1:35:08The Gemini Method? 1970s progressed. DeMeo cultivated his followers into a crew of experience with the process of murdering and dismembering victims. with the exceptions of killing intended to send a message to anyone who would hinder their criminal activities or murders that presented no other alternative. A set method of execution was established by the DeMeo crew to ensure the victims would be dispatched quickly and then made to disappear. Style of execution was dubbed the Gemini method after the Gemini Lounge, a bar which served as the crew's primary hangout, as well as a site where most of their victims were killed.

1:35:46The process of the Gemini method, as revealed by multiple crew members and associates who became government witnesses in the early 1980s, was to lure the victim through the side door of the lounge and into an apartment in the back portion of the building. At this point, a crew member, almost always DeMeo, according to member-turned-government witness Frederick DeNome, would approach with a silenced pistol in one hand and a towel in the other, shooting the victim in the head and then wrapping the towel around the victim's head wound like a turban to staunch the blood flow. Immediately afterward, another member of the crew, originally Rosenberg, would stab the victim in the heart to prevent more blood from pumping out of the gunshot wound.

1:36:27Wow, they had a method. By then, the victim would be dead, at which point the body would be stripped of clothing and dragged into a bathroom where the remaining blood drained out or congealed within the body. This was to eliminate the messiness of the next step when crew members would place the body into plastic sheets laid out in the main room and proceed to dismember it, cutting off the arms, legs, and head. It seems like a lot of work. following dismemberment the body parts would then be put into bags placed in cardboard boxes and sent to the fountain avenue landfill in brooklyn so many tons of garbage were dropped each day at the landfill it would be nearly impossible for the bodies to be discovered during the initial stages of a night early 1980s investigation targeting de mayo crew a plan by authorities to excavate sections of the dump to locate remains was aborted when it was deemed too costly and unlikely to locate any meaningful evidence.

1:37:23The landfill opposite the Starrett City apartment complex in East New York was closed in 1985, capped over and converted into parkland. There's a park there where there's dead people dismembered underneath it. Some victims were killed in other ways for varying reasons. At times, suspected informants or those who committed an act of disrespect against a member of the crew or their superiors had their bodies left in the streets to serve as a message and a warning. How many people did he kill? I don't know. Put that into perplexity. It just seems like so much work to do all this shit. Like, just talk out your shit.

1:38:00I think he probably enjoyed it. Yeah, I mean, clearly, but it's just... Look at that list of people. That's your whole day. Bro, look at that list. Between killing and disposing, that's got to be, what, four hours? Fun. How long do you think that takes? Talk some shit, drink a couple drinks, smoke a cigar. Yeah, the whole process to let the blood drain, you're going to get some wine. Hey, hang with the boys. Have a cigar. Put another notch on the wall. Play that Queen song. Damn, that's a lot. One bites the dust. How many is this? One, two, three, four, five. She started in 73. He got nine to Spillane.

1:38:32And he did it all the way up to. He didn't kill Mickey Spillane. No. Mickey Spillane's a writer. It's a boss. Mob boss. Irish mob boss shot five times, killed outside his apartment building in Woodside, Queens by DeMeo and Grillo as a favor to Coonan. Oh, another Irish mob boss. So they had the Italian mob killing the Irish mob. This is a lot of names. Oh, he started killing his own guys. Look at this one. Scroll up a little bit. Right there. Danny Grillo. A longtime member of the DeMeo crew was killed and dismembered by DeMeo Rosenberg and Center and Testa for racking up gambling debts and falling into drug addiction.

1:39:13They were just finding reasons to kill people. Oh, he owes money. This piece of shit. Gambling debts and drugs, though, if you're in a gang, that's got to be annoying. That's why they killed Chrissy in The Sopranos. Gary Gardeen was shot and killed by Rosenberg after he failed to pay him back from a marijuana deal. Gardeen was found inside the trunk of his torch car. Cocaine dealer. Shot, stabbed, dismembered for being a suspected informant. That's a fair reason. Dispute over copying porn films on this guy? Oh, my God. He stabbed. Wow. Even duplicating a porno film back then probably took a while.

1:39:51You've got to do two VCRs? That's a whole thing. In 79, I don't even think they had VCRs. Tadaro was shot by DeMeo and stabbed by Rosenberg after his nephew hired the DeMeo crew to murder him due to a dispute over the building in which they duplicated pornographic films. Wow. Funny shot. Here's a good killing. Scott Caffaro was shot multiple times by DeMeo crew at the behest of a rape victim's family. Alright. We'll get the one below it. Mistaken. Rigucci, a college student and door-to-door salesman, was mistaken for a Cuban hitman. Parked outside DeMeo's home, DeMeo chased Rigucci from Massapequa Park to Suffolk County and shot him seven times after he crashed his car.

1:40:35Goddamn. You're 18 and he thought you were a Cuban hitman? Look, he killed Rosenberg. Look at this. Rosenberg was shot and killed by DeMeo and Center to avoid a war with a Cuban drug cartel over a March 1979 cocaine ripoff murders caused by Rosenberg. So he's like killing his boys. The guys that he was killing people with, he killed them. It must be just wild. Just killed. This list is insane. This list is insane. This has gone on for two. This is like the NBA draft. This is that many names. It's crazy. This is like 60 names. Yeah. I mean, he was a legitimate serial killer. Who's Constance Burr?

1:41:13another informant yeah informants there's a lot of a lot of needed to get rid of a guy but there's a lot of people that just decide fuck this guy yeah damn that's a lot of people i think he just got super comfortable with killing people the book is the book's insane because it goes in great detail about how he did it and what he did and it's like it's very it's i don't know why those It's so disturbing because you know that people are very malleable. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. It's football season and Uber Eats is delivering deals every game day. This week, double down on protein-packed sandwiches with buy one, get one, select six-inch subs from Subway.

1:42:01Whether you're keeping it low-key for the game or hosting friends, Uber Eats has deals to keep you fed. So order a 6-inch turkey, tuna, or meatball sub from Subway and you'll get one free. No matter who scores big tonight, you'll score a deal. Order now for buy one, get one, select 6-inch subs from Subway only on Uber Eats. Subway offer valid through October 4th. Add eligible menu item to order prior to checkout. Taxes, fees, and terms apply. Product availability varies by region. and exclusions may apply. See app for details. AG1 has been a longtime partner of the show. They've been focused on putting care and research into their stuff, especially their next-gen formula.

1:42:47It covers a lot of what your body needs to perform at a high level, vitamins, minerals, pre - and probiotics, and it's clinically studied to fill nutrient gaps and increase healthy gut bacteria. And now there's AG1 Pro. It contains creatine, One of the most studied compounds in sports science that helps support energy. Plus, CAHMB for muscle protection and zinc carnosine for your gut lining. Because we all know how important it is to keep your gut happy and healthy. AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro both are here to help you level up. Whichever you go with, your body will thank you. Go to drinkag1.com slash Joe and for a limited time, save 20 % on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro.

1:43:38That's drinkag1.com slash Joe. You know, like you get used to like kids get used to living in war zones. True. Like you, that's normal. Yeah, if you grow up, if you're like in the Sudan or something and you're a child soldier, I mean, I guess that's just your life. But cheers, bro. Cheers, sir. Cheers. Good to see you, my brother. Good to see you, dude. It's a morbid conversation, but it is interesting. We'll pull out of it. We'll pull out of it with something good. Oh, that's good. Do you know about the lesbian bar in Massachusetts? Mark texts me about it. I don't know what it is. It's amazing.

1:44:06Are they wearing masks? They're like cosplaying or something? No, no, no. No, they wear COVID masks. Right, but what's the deal? So the bar, I'll give you the synopsis. So it's called The Last Ditch. It's this basement bar, this bar these lesbians run. And they're communists so they want to do it like if you can't pay you don't have to pay So they have a covered charge but you don't have to pay if you don't have any money So nobody pays so they're going under and so two of them leave and one of them enrolls in clown school Okay Do non-communists just drink there because it's fucking free? No because you have to wear a mask if you go there And so the thing is they're losing all their fucking money and this one of these people that runs one of these ladies that runs this bar is 50 grand in the hole Wow yeah send in John Taffer dude It's gonna make over That's a good ep That would be a great ep Well Hollywood is apparently very interested in this story Because it became like one of the single biggest reasons Why people subscribe to the Boston Globe Like it was one of the biggest stories that they ever had Like it's one of those you gotta find out more about it You gotta subscribe And so they got like a thousand new subscriptions Because of the story Because it's woke taken to its final point Because these people couldn't be kinder They're communists.

1:45:22They're running a lesbian bar. And they're giving away booze. They're running out of money. They have no fucking money, right? And so they consult someone, like, what are we going to do? And they say, listen, you've got to have one day. We have masks optional. And you'll probably make more money that way. And these people go nuts. One of them says— Wait, the owners or the patrons? No, the fans. The patrons. They can't not drink for one day? It's not just that. They think you're putting us in danger. One of them says that your building should be, I hope your building gets firebombed. Like, they turn on them.

1:45:54Firebombed? Dude. Holy shit. It's wild. Are there pictures of the bar? I want to see what this looks like. It's a little basement bar. I kind of want to go next time I'm in Boston. I want to check it out. That's what's happening. People are going there as tourists. So this is the bar? Boston's such a good bar culture, too. Yeah, a lot of good spots. Except for that it closes super early. That's the only problem with the bars. but so one of the signs on the door last ditch bar and arts venue asked visitors to wear a mask recently the bar said it would lift its mask mandate on saturdays just one day just one day saturdays the night wherever and not you could still wear a mask yeah you could still wear a mask but it's about it's about it's also like i want to go meet a chick at a bar i don't know what the fuck she looks like if she's got a mask on well i don't think anybody's meeting anybody at this bar.

1:46:45Yeah, it's a lesbian bar. There are lesbians I guess that meet another lesbians, but I mean I think their whole thing is... Women are more down with the personalities, I guess. I don't know. I think it's also, there's a certain group of people that they think that if you don't wear a mask, you're killing people. But this must be a crazy small clientele, right? This can't be like how many people are going to this shit? Well, amongst like really wildly left-wing people, masks are still in vogue. Hmm. Yeah. I know of there's a gym. I don't want to say the name. I don't want to shame them. There's like an MMA gym.

1:47:19Oh, wow. That's all lesbians and trans people and they all wear masks. Wow. I'm more scared of getting punched in the face. That's wild. I mean, look, I still see people wearing them on flights and I'm like, hey, do whatever you want to do. Truly. But I just think that at this point, I couldn't wait. And I did it during COVID. I comply with all that shit, but I'm kind of like, I did my part and now I'm kind of like, I want to I want to breathe. Yeah, I did it. I even sold them on my website and that's something that actually shot Sanjay Gupta brought up You sell masks on your website go not because I think they're useful Because people have to wear them do you have to wear them if you want if you want to go somewhere They make you wear a fucking mask.

1:47:59Oh, I was dude. I was doing Pop-up shows during covid on New York City roofs because that was the only place you could really perform After a while I got to do a hotel room a few days a week. They let me do it was really cool But I was doing roofs and I was filming a special doing that. And I asked people just, I'm like, can you guys just put on a mask for like 10 minutes so I don't get. Because I was like, I thought people were going to come for me if I if we cut to a crowd outdoors and they're not wearing masks. So we did it for like half a show. And I was just do it for this now. Like, yeah, of course.

1:48:26But people were shaming you for that. So I don't. But also they didn't know. So I don't care. But it's also like. Well, there was a lot of fog. Everyone's doing Monday morning quarterbacking about that whole time. There was a lot of people that were there are good people they were scary. It was a scary time I mean, it was uh, we didn't know what the fuck was happening. I did shows in Houston in July So it was like the first shows that I had done a long time and I only did one weekend I did the improv in Houston and then I decided after I did it that I'm not doing it anymore because I felt bad I'm like, what if I give somebody COVID?

1:49:01Yeah, come back. I'm being selfish because I want to perform I'm gonna go back to LA and give someone COVID. That's crazy So I stopped doing it. But the whole audience had to wear masks. It was strange. I remember the first show we did back at Gotham, and it was kind of a beautiful moment because clubs had been closed. And I remember Seinfeld wanted to go on first. So even before the host, he was like, this is meaningful to me. And I was like, oh, it's kind of cool. But then I watch him, and he's like, comedy's back. And there's like a big glass thing in front of him because we had to do that.

1:49:28I was like, that's what the clubs were doing. But I remember Jerry was like emotional. I was like, oh, this is kind of a cool moment. The glass wall. Oh, the cellar did it too. Everyone did it. And, you know, we were just, I think they were just trying to be respectful to the patrons at the time. But the second I was gone, I was pretty happy. There was like a period where people had to like figure out what's okay. Totally. And it's generally after someone got it. Most people that got it and then they recovered, then they weren't scared anymore. Oh, they felt like invincible. Yeah. Oh, I was going to fucking brothels the second I, I'm good?

1:49:56Let me fucking pop into this orgy real quick. It was wild. No, it was, that was the one nice thing of being on the back end of getting it is that you're like, I'm fucking I'm untouchable right now. Well, it was a good pandemic in a sense because it was Not real real real deadly. It wasn't like the black plague Right, so you have the splant Spanish flu there were people you would you so you have a world war You've World War one and the Spanish flu yeah back to back and the Spanish was killing young healthy crazy Yeah, who's that famous artist? Uh, Shevili He's taking care of his wife I think it was in Austria Taking care of his wife Who's like He's like 28 She has Spanish flu He gets it and dies He's fucking 28 Yeah But that's how you become a big artist You die Young Yeah, if you live forever They don't want you They don't give a fuck Yeah No one gives a fuck about Van Gogh Imagine if Jim Morrison was still alive Oh my god He would be David Lee Roth Poor Dave The weird thing about The Doors is like Every song's either like a 10 out of 10 Or a 1 out of 10 Right There's no five out of tens.

1:51:02Right. Well, I think they did that a lot back then with the albums. Like, even a lot of the Stone songs. There's some Stone songs like, yikes. Because they're prolific. There's a little too. Yeah. It's like, you know, remember when Louis was doing an hour every year? But it was still great. It was still great. But it's a lot. It's a lot to do. Well, yeah, he set up an unreasonable expectation for comics. That's why this one I waited two years. I was like, I don't want to. I think every year is crazy. I think every few years is good. But it depends on where you're at in your life, like what you want to do.

1:51:32Of course. Sometimes, dude, I feel it all the time, like the stress level is dropping me and the floodgates open and I have. But when I'm stressed, I'm tight. I'm not creating. But when I was in Europe, I was like, shit's just coming out of me because I'm just taking walks in random cities I've never been to. You're opening up pathways in your brain that you're not used to using. But when I'm stressed about something or I'm working on other stuff, I'm not creating like I want to be. But yeah, it depends. Like Louis at that point of his career was not just creating stand-up every year, but he was writing, starring, and editing Louis.

1:52:03Yeah. So his output was unheard of. Yeah. No, his output was nuts. And he was editing it on his fucking laptop. I know. And he liked to do it on a little one. He goes, I like doing it on a little one. That show is amazing. I re-watched it recently and it's just like, man, he really took some big swings on it. I loved it. Oh, yeah. No, he's a fucking wizard. He's a genuine wizard. yeah it's it's so hard to maintain that kind of a pace that's such a crazy pace the thing about like the stones and those guys though it's like they had record contracts and then they had to release a record by a certain amount of time and so i think they had some filler songs totally do but then sometimes you get the best songs that way right you know you know the electric light orchestra story where they're like we need one more song for this album and he just goes to the roof and he's like mr blue sky he's thinking he's looking at the blue sky and it hit him Really?

1:52:54So that's how Blue Sky Wow Yeah, so that's like Sometimes you get the Or that woman Fuck, I forgot her name She's a really popular singer She's very good The I'm not gonna write you a love song Because they're like We need a love song on this album And that hit her I'm not gonna write you a love song What song is that? What's her name again? Shell Branch? No That's everywhere Damn it You can just type in the lyrics I'm sure it'll come up That's a lot of words to type in I'm not gonna write you a love It's a good song Is it a new song? No, it's from like 20 years ago. Oh, Cerebreyes. Yes, Cerebreyes, yeah.

1:53:29That song. So it's like you just, sometimes when you're given a challenge, you just are like, okay, let me, you were talking about the set list shows before. Right, you need something to get you out of your head. Sometimes I think homework as an adult is good when you're like, try this. Right. Sometimes you do a show where you need to talk current events. And like, I remember when the Comedy Cellar did that Comedy Central show and you had to only do news stories. It made me write so much topical shit. I love having homework. Yeah, for sure. Anytime you have to do something, it's better. So many guys, when they do roast battle, they know they're going to battle somebody in three weeks, and so they really fucking write their asses off.

1:54:04But also, that's like, I think it's also so much easier to write about someone else. 100%. But yeah, you see all these so many comics are so good at that. Yeah, that's a style. That's a very particular style, a mean style. It's like, I don't do it. But it's cool to see those old clips of Rickles because he didn't even have to tell a joke and you'd be laughing. It was just his vibe. Yeah. He'd be like, why don't you go away and not bother somebody? And that was funny. Just because of his, you know. He had the package. He had the whole package. He was so unique. And Joan Rivers, too, could insult the shit out of you and it was like beautiful.

1:54:39Do you remember that thing he did where, I think it was Reagan. I think it was Reagan. Where he did like essentially stand up before he introduced him. Yeah, I don't know. I've definitely seen the Dangerfield one with Reagan. I don't know if I know Rickles. There's some thing. There's a Dangerfield set in front of Reagan where he is annihilating for like four minutes straight. And it's one of those where, I forgot to say, they cut to somebody who just goes, wow. Because it's like, bam, bam, bam. When Dangerfield's locked in, man, it's like, Dangerfield to me is like, still I think he's like the funniest human.

1:55:10Even the bad movies still have his one-liner. Oh, he's incredible. I love Meet Wally Sparks, which is not a great movie, but he's so funny in it. when he walks up to the couple on the dance floor making out. He's like, you two should go get a room. And then he walks up to the fat couple dancing. He goes, you two should get a warehouse. That's a great joke. All those jokes were like fucking. And, oh, my God, every joke in Back to School or Caddyshack, you're like, these are fucking great. These are perfect jokes. And he was like late 40s at the time. It was unheard of. He was not well. He did not look like a good late 40s either.

1:55:42That was like hard living. Partying hard, dude. I saw him perform live during his bathrobe era. Do you know the bathrobe era? Yeah. So he would go on stage with nothing but a bathrobe on. Crazy. Like his junk hanging out under the bathrobe, totally naked, slippers. And I was working. I was actually a security guard at Great Woods Center for the Performing Arts. Wow. So I was backstage. I was one of the guys that was assigned to watch the door to where the backstage was. so I could see Dangerfield walking around with his bathrobe on. He's pacing. He's nervous. He's just getting ready. Yeah. But he's got a bathrobe on.

1:56:21And I remember thinking, this is crazy. This guy's got a bathrobe. I was 19. I was like, he's only got a bathrobe? And then he goes on stage with just the bathrobe. I was like, oh, my God. This is insane. That's crazy. And murdered. I mean, he laid down like 55 minutes of thunder just nonstop from the fucking beginning, from the moment he got off stage on stage it was just bang bang bang bang and great woods is a pretty big place like you know thousands of people i don't know how big it is i think it's at least 10 000 people it's a really big place like big name people there like bon jovi was there wow it was that kind of it was it was a huge place well he i mean he had so many bits those carson appearances where carson just knew how to let him cook he's like all right i'll set you up and i'll get the fuck out of the way but yeah when he was just ran just one after another and you're like these are great if Carson loved you it was oh my god they had a they had a problem for a while too they had an issue and then oh really they had to work it out yeah I think in his book Rodney said something like he uh I think Carson couldn't get into some club or restaurant or something and Danielsville helped out and it kind of smoothed over some shit they had but like yeah it's crazy to picture maybe just one weird moment but that's thank god they smoothed it over we get these moments on tv where Conan had the same thing Conan was able like with Norm he knew how to just just let him cook.

1:57:41You know, it's like certain late night hosts just know when you're like, okay, let me just feed this guy the ball. Right. It's like being a great point guard. You know, it's like Carson just knew. He's like, oh yeah, I got a bad doctor. Dr. Vinny Bambas. He'd be like, oh yeah, just like keep going. I mean, these great, great, back to school to me is like, if you're, you can't be in a bad mood and watch that movie. It's a fucking phenomenal movie. It'll take you out. It's so fucking silly. Burt Young. Caddyshack. Caddyshack. Yeah. Chevy Chase was pretty cool in that movie too. It's a great movie.

1:58:11Amazing movies. Ted Knight. Holy shit. So funny. Looks good on you, though. Back to School is an all-time classic. It's an all-time classic. That's probably my favorite of them. Just so. Interesting on the band. Dangerfield's manager at the time sent an angry letter to Johnny Carson accusing him of telling one of Dangerfield's jokes on air without booking or paying the comedian. Carson's reaction, annoyed. Carson read the letter live on The Tonight Show, repeated the joke completely deadpan without any comedic timing and quipped that if it was Dangerfield's best material, the comic was in trouble.

1:58:46That's not nice. Wow. Dangerfield felt deeply humiliated and wrote multiple apology letters to Carson, but received no response. Carson subsequently blacklisted him from the program. The Copacabana encounter, the reconciliation. Years later, Dangerfield was performing a sold-out gig at the Copacabana when Carson and his entourage arrived trying to get in. The apology, Dangerfield personally seated them, went up to Carson and apologized face-to-face, admitting he was in the wrong for his manager's aggressive letter. The result, Carson appreciated the gesture, and within a week, Dangerfield made his triumphant return to The Tonight Show.

1:59:26He went on to make over 70 appearances with his rapid-fire self-deprecating humor, frequently causing Carson to lose his composure and crack up on live television. 70 is crazy. Carson could be a bit of a cunt, I think. I mean, the thing he did to Joan Rivers as well where she got a show and he's like, you're dead to me. I think that's not cool, man. It's power. It's power, but it's like— It's cunty power. I love, obviously I appreciate Johnny Carson. I think he's incredible. But like you're building these people up. I think it's pretty shit. And Joan Rivers is like. Also, you're the super happy, friendly, smiley guy on TV.

2:00:03Yeah, but he was a dark dude, of course. I mean, all those guys. If you put out friendly and happy, there's a darkness. Any comic I see who's like, I'm your best friend. You're like, you're fucking sick. You know it's. Anytime I see someone who's like the warm, cuddly guy, I trust people who are more who are kind of dicks on stage. I'm like they're getting it out like male feminists dude yeah I mean a little always and like always guys are just like yeah we of course we support women but then when you're like performative about it I'm like you're a fucking asshole 100 % you want someone to say good for you thank you for you you're one of the good ones for using your platform yeah thank you yeah it's there is for speaking truth to power anything performative yeah but any of the comic who's like I'm your best friend I'm like I know you're cheating your wife dude don't fucking don't it's so annoying and it's like and carson look he had that midwest appeal too he also had a terrible mother like well him and stern hated each other interesting yeah i always thought that was odd like stern always hated him and talked and he hates leno but he loves letterman yeah odd yeah the leno thing i think was he was because of the tonight show It was a little of that, but the Leno thing or Carson did but didn't But Howard had a thing with Leno too.

2:01:22Yeah, I think it was cuz he got the Tonight Show and Letterman didn't I think he was accusing him of using bits from Stern show on the Tonight Show It's funny that little yeah see that's true It will hurt I had a comic do that to me once where they did a bit and I didn't really care But I was like I don't just don't fucking do it. Oh, it's ugly it's like it changes who you think who you think they are it changes everything especially if you know that they saw you do a bit and then they do a version it's hard to write a bit so it's like when and especially if it's a personal one that's when you're like oh come on dude yeah no i've watched some guy the other day on uh instagram call out some guy for a bit and he showed his bit and then that guy's bit and the guy was like not a comic but he's like doing Comedians bits like in in these videos and these reels.

2:02:10I used to get mad at it now I just I don't give a shit I just I'm too tired to care about that shit but like I used to get annoyed at all these Instagram accounts like who are just blowing up by using other people's content I don't know even now. I just I don't give a shit But remember that one black guy that got in trouble because he was doing Patrice remember that He was like really getting a following. It was a young guy like like he was doing it was like a streamer And he was really getting a following and he was saying weird it's like is it performance art is it a tribute band? But you're not it's so weird.

2:02:41He tried to play it off that way, but he wasn't Crediting him Like if you're gonna do a Bill Hicks bit you have to say this is hilarious Bill Hicks Hicks bit totally then say the bit you can't just say it and say that was Bill Hicks bit Yeah, I love shouting out some of my favorite comic bits all the time I love oh god. I love you know, he's got one of my favorite jokes ever. Do you know Adrienne Ippaluchi sure I love She's one of my favorite jokes of all time where she says, my boyfriend threatened to commit suicide. And I was like, great. Now I can't kill myself or people are going to think we were in love.

2:03:12That's an incredible joke. That is such a, it's like there's not one ounce of fat. Only she could say. Totally. But there's not one ounce of fat. And it's such a deeply personal moment. You know, she thought that like in a fight or something. I'm like, oh, I love it. When you feel that there's such a truth to it, it's so beautiful. I love a great joke like that. Tell's got a million jokes that I'm just like jealous of. I think the real issue with the thieves is that the inclination to steal is directly opposite of the mindset that's required to create. Well, we're talking about AI, right? We're talking about, I mean, it's the laziness.

2:03:46I mean, you. Well, AI is stealing from all of us. Of course. It's stealing from the entire human race. But it's the same thing. It's like, you know, you're, you're looking, it's a shortcut, right? So you don't want to do the work. And part of the fun, part of the excitement of the new bit is failing and then honing it and getting it to where it wants to be and the excitement. but uh Yeah, I think of the jokes that you put in specials and you're like, well, that wasn't always a good joke. That's fun that it got somewhere. Yeah. Oh, no, it's great when you have a bit that fails forever. Like Chris Rock always talks about that bit.

2:04:17Like, I love black people. I hate N-words. Yeah. Like that bit, he apparently bombed that for like a year. Can you imagine bombing that bit? Because there's certain bits that you're like, okay, I can bomb. But when you're on that edge of saying something really fucked up and working out this really provocative bit, But that's why Rock is one of the best ever, you know? Well, he's more than willing to take that chance and walk that plank. Like, he would do that at the store all the time. Like, I remember one time I brought him up at the store, and the first thing he said, the audience went nuts.

2:04:46Obviously, he's there. They went crazy. And the first thing he said, relax. It ain't going to be that funny. Lower your expectations. That's what he always says. He's saying, I'm working on some new stuff. I love watching him work on stuff. He's so funny. That's such a bold move, though. I ran into him on the street with a girl I'm dating, and he's so smooth. He's so good. I was like, oh, this is Morgan. This is my girlfriend. He goes, I've heard so much about you. He's just hamming it up, and she's like, wow. I'm like, oh, he's the man. He really hooked me up. But he always says the funniest thing to me because he always says, you young guys are on the road too much.

2:05:20You burn out. And he saw me rolling a duffel bag down the street once because we don't live that far from each other. And he sees me rolling it, and he just looks at me like, god damn it. And he goes, even LeBron has an off season. He always finds the most, the perfect, shortest amount of words to say. Chris is so funny. It's very funny. Yeah. That's the first album I got me into standup was Roll With The New, his album. And I remember listening to it and being too young to get half the jokes probably. But I had a CD and I'm listening to it and my mom just saw me laughing. And she's like, what is he laughing this hard at?

2:05:55And I remember putting the headphones on and the look of horror on my mom's face. But then followed 30 seconds later, she's laughing. And I was like, oh, that's incredible. That's how good Chris's comedy is, that he can shock you in a setup and then pull you back in with a punchline. Also, when you weren't ready for a comedy show, you didn't anticipate it, you didn't drive to a place and sit down. But I have a cool mom. She understands how brilliant his bits are. That's awesome. It was cool. It was a cool moment for me to be like, oh, wow, my mom thinks this is good. Bring the Pains, like one of the greatest specials of all time.

2:06:30Unbelievable. Of all time. And the next one, Bigger Than Black. I mean, I enjoy all this stuff. Those two back-to-back, I'll put them up against any special ever. I agree. I mean, it was crazy. And it was like, man, it was just provocative bit after provocative bit, but he delivered. It wasn't like shock for the sake of shock. I think of the other bit I love about how we need to make bullets cost$5 ,000. because then there would be no innocent bystanders. That's a brilliant bit. I'd bust a cap in your ass if I could afford it. That's a great bit. Yeah, he's got a bang of a... He emptied$50 ,000 to me.

2:07:07He must have done something. Great, great jokes. Because that's actually like those jokes that actually are like, oh, this actually is a good idea. Those ones where you're like, I know you're being funny right now, but that's actually really smart. You know who doesn't get enough credit? His brother. Yeah, he's a very good comic. His brother, Tony, is fantastic. Yeah. He doesn't get enough credit. For sure. Like, when you are the brother of one of the greatest of all time, that's a tough spot to be in. Of course. But it's like people judge him by that. How many baseball players do you see who have a brother in the major leagues?

2:07:44Like, think about what you did to get to the major leagues. Right. But it's like you're not talking about Mike Maddox. You're not Greg Maddox, right? It's like Mike Maddox is a good pitcher. Jason Giambi. There's Jeremy Giambi. You know, it's fucking tough. You made it to the major leagues. But, yeah, but it must be very—and he's got another brother as a stand-up. I mean, it's very difficult. Is the other brother the youngest? He's the youngest, Jordan, yeah. Why not? Fuck it. What, do you want a regular job? It's obviously in your family. Yeah. Just do it. But it's so much harder. I mean, like, if your family—I mean, it's hard.

2:08:18People have expectations. They don't talk about the challenges of being Frank Sinatra Jr. you know or Frank Stallone yeah he had a song he had that he had that single what was it I don't remember pull it up it's in the Travolta movie it's not bad it's very it's what you would picture Frank Stallone singing but actually like I don't mind it actually it's fine but I mean his brother is in some of the biggest movies in the history of the universe he's amazing but uh what do you do with that you know it's like saying you sing one song and he acted a little bit I mean look Jim Belushi did a good career.

2:08:50Jim Belushi probably has the best career out of a famous brother. He's a good actor. Right. Yeah. Thief. Oh, yeah. He's done a lot of good stuff. He's done some really good movies. Frank Stallone's got a lot of hits and a bunch of movies. Far From Over. That's the one. Rambo. Wait a minute. Staying Alive was him? No. Not the song, but it's a song in the movie. Oh. I was like, what are you talking about? No, Far From Over is the one. That's the one where he's like. Top 10. Top 10. U.S. Billboard Hot 100 featured prominently in the dance drama film Staying Alive in 1983. Never Gonna Give You Up Wow Take You Back Oh, that song from Rocky Balboa 2006 I like all those Rocky movies I think the Creed movies were great I really enjoyed them I thought they were terrific I never saw any of them Dude, it's so good The first one's amazing I gave up on Rocky after the Tommy Morrison movie Which one was that?

2:09:41I don't know Four or five That was five, I think No, dude, the new Creed Michael B. Jordan's unbelievable and it's a great story because it's he's Creed's son I mean it's like it makes sense that he'd be angry and like my dad fucking abandoned us I get it I'm just overwhelmed I get it you know you get to a certain point you would love it the first one's excellent and they bring back fucking Dolph Lundgren for the second oh really he's awesome alright it's his son it's fun dude you would like the first Creed make me watch it son of a bitch yeah you'll text me and you'll be like this is fucking good maybe yeah if not I'll never say it on the air yeah I just like there's a certain amount of movies after a certain point in time I watch too many movies that's the problem I love I still watch so fucking many movies dude you know what's fucking fantastic?

2:10:31what? The Gentleman that show oh I've heard it's good on Netflix yeah I saw the movie what's the movie? McConaughey yeah it's fun the same thing the movie is about the same thing this is like different pull it down pull it down the movie is same thing It's all about weed dealers, but the movie's excellent. The series is equally excellent But two seasons worth of you know eight hours. So it's new each yeah, it's fantastic Yeah and No one in there is like a big name it's fucking great man damn I'm so I'm so reluctant to commit to TV shows because if a movie's bad. I'm like alright that was 90 minutes and whatever but a tv show if i get roped i'm liking slow horses a lot that's a fucking great show i love that shit yeah i'm on that now because the gentleman i finished it's so good yeah slow horses is great yeah that's like gary oldman can do no wrong i agree he's so good and it's like and he varies so wildly he really does he was dracula he was that uh the the white guy in true romance that thought he was black with the scar and how good is i can't watch that scene with James Gandolfini beating the shit out of her.

2:11:46That's like one of the toughest scenes to watch. Yeah, that movie's unbelievable. I love True Romance. The same song from Badlands, that like, that kind of cheerful score. Wasn't that a Tarantino script as well? That was, right? Yeah. Yeah, he wrote that. Tony Scott. Completely makes sense. But he said he changed the ending. Like he made the ending. They were supposed to die in Tarantino's and Tarantino was like pissed at first, but then he saw it and he was like, oh, that's a good ending for this movie. Because, you know, a director makes it their own, I guess. but he hated Natural Born Killers, though.

2:12:18Did he really? Hated it. He wrote that, too, but I guess they changed it so much he hated it. How much shit did that guy write? He's written some fucking good shit. Bangers. You know what no one ever talks about either, which is one of his best movies, is Jackie Brown. That's a fucking amazing movie. Fucking amazing movie. No one talks about that. We were just talking about it the other day, the scene when Robert De Niro shoots Bridget Fonda. Shocking. Shocking shit. That's one of the best. That's one of his, because you know what? That movie has more heart than any movie he's ever made. Because it's like, he's so great.

2:12:47But that movie, for some reason, you really care. Like in Pulp Fiction, it's a masterpiece. But you don't really care about the characters. You really care about her and him getting away with it. No, I mean, I'd put him, he's in my top two or three. He might be number one for me. He doesn't miss much. I mean, it's like, I loved his latest one. Death Proof was the only one where I was like, I don't. It wasn't my favorite. it. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. It may be hard to believe, but identity theft is the number one crime in America. Right now, millions of people are dealing with stolen accounts, fraudulent loans, and the exhausting process of proving who they are to banks, creditors, and credit bureaus.

2:13:28LifeLock helps you fight back. They monitor your personal and financial information, alerting you when something looks suspicious. And if identity theft does happen, LifeLock has live U.S.-based experts who step in and fix it, guaranteed or your money back. Don't fight that battle alone. Get LifeLock Identity Theft Protection. Visit LifeLock.com and save up to 30 % your first year with promo code JRE. That's promo code JRE or go to lifelock.com slash J-R-E for 30 % off. Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. If you're thinking about building a website, you should try Squarespace.

2:14:14I know because I use it. That's right. JoeRogan.com is powered by Squarespace. It has all the features that you need to create a standout website, like an AI-enhanced website builder, SEO optimization tools and seamless checkouts with mobile pay links head to squarespace.com slash rogan for a free trial and when you are ready to launch use the offer code rogan to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain but it's still look cool time in hollywood's fantastic i loved it it's fantastic i saw with ari in in uh 70 millimeter and it was like a really fucking fun day it was like a really it's one of it's so fun to see a movie like that for the first time with a friend and you just turn in the theater and you just turn to each other like like that's the fun of going to a movie theater is like those moments that yeah no i that was incredible i saw that one with chapelle donnell rawlings and uh ian edwards and we were the only people in the movie theater we rented the theater out so we we did an arena and then we left the arena and went to see it they set it up for us and we went there and they just had like a whole table full of candy Just grab whatever it's better than seeing Jango with those fellows No, that's a I do I was blown away by that one.

2:15:34I just thought it looks so it's also a movie that it's on TV all the time And if it's on you're just like yeah Brad Pitt you're fucking so cool in this movie It's also a movie where like wait a minute you took an actual event and completely changed what happened I love that in an actual historical event because it's one of the most heartbreaking stories ever fucking pregnant woman you murdered and you wrote pig on the wall that's another mk ultra fucking deal that's uh manson that yeah that was uh yeah roman polanski then goes on it it the chain of events that sets off is crazy because roman polanski is super fucked in the head after that obviously and that's why we probably get the ending of chinatown that we get because of that because he's like things don't work out the original script isn't that oh really the ending is like yeah this is what happens in life that's why it's a hopeless ending probably because of that so was it worth it no i'm kidding obviously not it was awful but it was uh it's an amazing fucking movie though yeah one of the most tragic uh yeah i mean that's why the ending is actually kind of emotional when she lets him in because you're like this isn't what happened I forgot the ending of Chinatown I haven't seen Chinatown in 20 years at least maybe a top 5 movie ever I saw it in a movie theater when I was a little kid holy shit how old were you?

2:16:57oh I was little you should not have been but I remember when he got his nose cut by the switchblade I was like crazy that was Polanski who sliced him was it? wow Wow. Yeah, it's hard to beat Nicholson in terms of cool. He was just the coolest. He did some bangers, that's for sure. That and Last Detail and One Flew Over Cuckoo's Nest and Easy Rider and Five Easy Pieces in succession is fucking insane. The ending of One Flew Over Cuckoo's Nest when they have zapped his brain out and you see him sitting there drooling. Isn't that the worst? Oh, they did that to a lot of people, man. Beautiful fucking ending, but that's also, dude, that movie fucking, I saw that too young probably.

2:17:47But that just made you, that was like, oh, he's the cool guy. He wants to be the fucking center of attention. He's kind of like a comedian and all these crazy people. It's like he's the center of attention. He's trying to lift their spirits. The scene where she won't let him watch the World Series. And he just goes on and he starts, he has the votes, but she won't let him watch because she counts the votes downstairs. and he just starts narrating the world series as if it's happening on TV, but it's not. That's one of the most fucking beautiful scenes in any movie ever. It's also like that world of mental health institutions is so spooky.

2:18:20Because especially back then, people could just decide you were crazy and keep you in a place like that. Yeah, and also that was like the anti-authority. Like every 70s movie was anti-authority and ended with you getting like shot in the face or murdered. So like Network, Bonnie and Clyde, it's always you getting like murdered in the end. I wonder how much the CIA had to do with that. Like the endings of those films. All those, well dude, it was hopelessness, right? It was like, everything's hopeless. You're going to lose. They're always going to get you. I mean, everyone talks about this dark shit, but it got us some good movies.

2:18:49Who's like, is there a movie where like, like a sort of a film where the bad guy gets away in that era? The bad guy, I mean, God, probably a lot. Like No Country for Old Men. I mean, Chinatown is one. He literally takes her away. He takes the girl away, the daughter that he's molested her mother and he's going to molest her. Like, he takes her away. That's how the movie ends. That's how the movie ends. Yeah. It's like, sorry for spoilers if you haven't seen Chinatown. Still worth seeing, even though you know the ending now. What year was that movie? I think 74 or something. Yeah. But it was like, oh, dude, a lot of movies ended.

2:19:23I mean. So I was seven. I'll give you a big budget one that ended dark. Empire Strikes Back. Han Solo's in Carbonite. The bad guys win. Yeah, but they're setting you up. They're setting you up. But like, I'm trying to think of that era. Alien, the bad guy wins. Alien. What's another one, though, that from the 70s were like? No, an alien, the bad guy doesn't. Corporate evil wins, I guess is what it says. Corporate evil wins a network for sure. Network is. I had perplexed. In the 60s through 80s, what are the films where the bad guy wins? And it gave me this list of films right here. Oh, network.

2:19:55I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. Fucking 10 out of 10 movie. That's like, that's fucking perfect. Oh, the thing. That's good. Yeah. Invaders and the Body Snatchers. Is this a movie where all the bad guys win? I get ass perplexity. Oh, Rosemary's Baby's a good one. Man, I just read Zinneman, the New York Times guy's book on horror movies. It's fucking great. It's called Shock Value. And he talks about Rosemary's Baby and all the horror movies of that era. It's worth a read if you haven't read it. But it's, yeah, I guess that movie, that ending too, where you think the mom's going to kill the devil.

2:20:31She just gave birth to Satan and you think she's gonna kill the fucking baby, but instead she's like this is my baby I gotta keep it. Yeah, so so enjoy that pro-lifers Rosemary's baby. There was a guy who was in Rosemary's baby that owned the first place that we bought that we're gonna put the mothership at He was a cult leader. He was actually an extra in Rosemary's baby. That was one claim to fame Yeah, he's a very handsome guy was a a yoga teacher who was a hypnotist Bikram. Also a gay porn star. That's a fucking jack-of-all-trades. Yoga porn fuck. Yeah, there's a documentary about him. It's called Holy Hell.

2:21:12Damn. Yeah. Gay porn star in that must have been fucking scary. Right? I mean, what, the 60s? The 80s. The 80s. No, this was, I think he was doing gay porn in probably the 70s or the 80s. It had to be the 80s. I think the movie, Rosemary's Baby, I think was in the 70s. And so he was, by then, I think he was out of acting. He probably did porn in the 80s. Because he was in, it was like, what year was Waco? That was the 90s, right? I'm not sure I think so. So by the time Waco had rolled around, the Waco tragedy, he was already running a cult. And so that's one of the reasons why he moved to Austin.

2:21:48He had a cult in West Hollywood. And the Cult Awareness Network was investigating him. Because after Waco, they started cracking down on cults. They're like, hey. Yeah, this is not ending well. This is a problem. Yeah. And so this fucking guy moved to Austin and changed his name. No internet back then, right? Nobody knew anything. Changed his name and then started this new cult out here and had his followers build him a theater. Whoa. And that theater is called the One World Theater. I thought you were going to say the Paramount. I was like. So this One World Theater is out like Western Austin, and it was for sale.

2:22:29How big is it? It's a big theater. I mean, not a big theater, not like thousands. I think probably it's seated six, five, 600 for the balcony. Not that big. Yeah, good size. Cool. Decent, but beautiful place. Maybe even less. Maybe like four. But anyway, Ron White did it. and he told me, because when we talked about buying a place, he goes, you should buy this fucking theater. I did it. It's amazing. I fucking killed there. He's telling me about this beautiful theater. That was fucking beautiful. It used to be owned by a cult. I thought, oh, that would be hilarious. I'll buy a place owned by a cult.

2:23:03And then Adam Egett, after we signed papers and everything, Adam Egett calls me up. He goes, hey, did you see the documentary on that cult? And I go, oh, no. They never make documentaries on the cults where it worked out great. No. And this one's rough. So this one, it was like years into the cult. One guy in the early 2000s leaves, and when he leaves, he sends a mass email, and he says, hey, this guy's been hypnotizing me and buttfucking me for the past 10 years. Oh, my God. And then all these other people are like, I thought it was - That's his way of being, I'm not gay. He tricked me. Yeah, he liked to fuck the straight guys.

2:23:40It was like part of his therapy. Damn. He would charge them for it, too. That's the worst part. The documentary's crazy. It was like 50 bucks. The documentary's crazy. That's a weird amount to charge. Damn. I don't want to be rude. He's butt-fucking these guys. That's true. But when he confesses that this guy's been doing that to him, everybody else says, oh, my God, he's been doing it to me, too. Wow. And then it all falls apart. That is fucking crazy. I mean, that is—and you almost had that theater. Yeah. Oh, I had it. I had it. I was under contract and everything. I had to get out of it. But Adam got you out of it.

2:24:12No, no, no. We got out of it because there wasn't, you know, when you butt fuck people and charge them$50, generally they don't build your buildings to code. Yeah. And so - You got to charge comedy tickets at least$52. We got out on a loophole. There was an issue. Damn. Yeah. Good for you for getting out of that. Beautiful building, though. Also, it's not like you're buying Epstein's Island and redoing it. Why can't you do a theater? Really? It bothered me. So what's going to happen with the theater now? Oh, they're doing something with it. I don't know. Somebody else owns it now. It's a beautiful place.

2:24:41And it's on a great piece of land. But it was just like the bad juju in that room was just too much. Yeah, I guess the story's rough. You don't want to be associated. We were all talking about it. Like, dude, we're going to have to burn sage in this place for like four years just to clean out. I mean, just think about all these poor kids that like went to take yoga classes. Well, someone's buying Epstein's Island. Someone's buying his penthouse. You're getting a discount, but you're right. There's also his ranch. He's got that ranch where there's like bodies missing. Oof. They think there might be bodies.

2:25:08Isn't there a search for bodies at the ranch? Wasn't that something recently? But they're going to turn that island into some sort of resort. I'm sure it's going to be at a discount. I'm sure if you want to go on vacation with your wife and you're like, why is this one so cheaper? That's going to be fucking so cheaper. The whiskey's hitting. Why have I seen that building before? I'm sure it's a nice townhouse. But yeah, I wouldn't want it. If you're once you're in that tax bracket, you know. One of the darkest things in the Epstein emails was the sulfuric acid. Do you know about that? they found out that he had I forget how many gallons I think it was something in the neighborhood of 300 gallons of sulfuric acid holy shit that's fucking weird and he ordered the shipment I think after he was indicted if I'm correct I remember we looked it up and it had to do with water cleaners just to be plausible I think someone said it had to do with the desalination plant.

2:26:11He also seems so stupid. You see those emails of him and everyone's like, he was so persuasive and charming. And the emails, you're like, you seem like a fucking Neanderthal the way you talk. Yeah. Well, I mean, the other people, I think they all felt protected. Yeah, and he was just so fucking, yeah, he probably felt untouchable. You're squeezing people who are this powerful. You're like, who's going to fucking come for me? I remember James Patterson wrote that book like trashing before all this shit went down because they were neighbors in Florida. so we took out like a hit piece on him like way back in the day and it was a whole book being like this guy's a piece of shit when was this?

2:26:44Probably like the 20 teens I mean he had already been arrested for that but it wasn't for statutory or whatever but it wasn't when it was a massive media story that was the second arrest but they were neighbors he's like I fucking hate this guy I think a lot of it boils down to one lady who was a reporter who chased the story down because I think she was outraged that he got like that sweetheart deal at first yeah fuck Fuck. That's going to be like, the crazy thing is that's like the story that just keeps going. It won't go away. And it probably won't for, think about, you're talking about JFK, 12 years.

2:27:18What are we going to know about Epstein in 12 years? What's really disturbing is how many people went and met him after he had already been arrested. Yeah. After. Yeah, once you know that. After. You got to not. After. You got to not do that. Went to jail, and then they're like, let's hang out. Yeah. Let me email you so there's a string of this forever. It's fucking dark, man. And then you got to think, okay, we know about that one. How many of them are out there right now? Right. How many of these fucking secret places are out there right now? Yeah. I've been invited to some weird shit, dude.

2:27:53Like what kind of shit? Weird shit. Like what? I don't want to say too much. Don't say the name. I've been invited to these retreats where people I don't know. Feels eyes wide shut, see? And they invite me to some. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't want to say eyes wide shut, but very Illuminati-ish. Yeah. Like invited me to go meet with these people that are like heads of industry. And I remember saying - But the question is, why do they want you there? Because you have a platform where you can clearly trash these people. I think because they probably assumed that they could sweet talk me and do business with me and make it profitable for me.

2:28:33And so maybe I'll just like not talk about them perhaps. Maybe. Yeah. I've avoided every single one of those. That's very confident though. So New Mexico has officially launched a truth commission to look into what happened at Zora Ranch. It says here a former Texas state senator is currently running for office as a state comptroller. Bought it to make it a Christian retreat reclaiming it for Jesus. That's a perfect cover, isn't it? Someone's getting nailed to a cross. Reclaiming it for Jesus is wild. The state's Epstein Truth Commission, New Mexico has a truth commission for Epstein, held its first public meeting in February where members said that they would coordinate with the M, New Mexico, Department of Justice.

2:29:24Rep. Andrea Romero chairs the commission and its other members are rep. They haven't found anything yet. They haven't found anything yet. This was in March 11th was the last update I could find on it. I got invited to go to Bohemian Grove. What's that? That's that place that Alex Jones found out about that people said was bullshit. It's some place in Northern California where a bunch of elites get together and they wear robes and they chant and they worship a giant owl god. I don't like any of this. I don't like any of this. Yeah. Yeah, I've been invited to some weird shit. I've said no to every one of those things.

2:29:56I just want to be clear on the record. That's one thing about having made a lot of money. You cannot really tempt me with a lot of money. That's good. Not that I would be at all. I've always made enough money. I don't have crazy extravagant tastes. No. I'm not a guy who's, I don't wear diamonds. I don't have a private jet. Men who wear diamonds are fucking weird. It's odd. It's white guys. White guys who wear diamonds. It's weird. Very odd. I give black guys a little bit more slack. I guess so. It's all weird. It's like men who wear cologne. Like, what are we doing? There's something about it I don't quite trust.

2:30:30I guess if you're European, I give a pass for that one. But there's something about when you start, I think it's probably you get invited into these things and they want to bring you into the fold. You're a super wealthy now. They want to be close to you. They want to be, you know. It's very odd. I've managed to keep my head above water and keep moving. You've got a family. You've got a lot of shit. It's not even just that. You're a busy guy. I am busy. but I wouldn't be interested in the first place. I'm not saying the schedule's keeping you from this. I'm just saying like - It's just odd that there's these kind of groups out there.

2:31:05I don't need any other shit. I don't want any extracurricular. I play pickup basketball with comics on Sunday and I'm kind of like, that's all I need. I do the road. I do sets. What else the fuck do I need? I'm very happy with my life. I have a family, happy with the family. Everybody's great. I play pool. I do sets. You're good at pool, right? I've heard you're good. I'm really good, yeah. Yeah. I knew you were good because I remember the first time when the first time we hung out, you talked about how shitty Tom Cruise looked and the color of money and I was like, oh, Joe must be good. And I saw you hitting around like, he's fucking good.

2:31:37Yeah, it was just you can't pretend that you're really good at pool. I'm terrible. I give away that I remember I did a Friars Club tournament early on and I got lucky and I won the first one. For some reason the balls went in, but I was exposed because the guy I was playing against was like, your form is shit. He's like, I know you're getting lucky and I was and I got my ass kicked well someone who's really good there's like a subtle way they hold the cue and play with the cue it's like you ever see a movie where a guy's smoking cigarettes and you know that he doesn't really smoke cigarettes oh yeah me yeah if you're in a movie and dude anyone like it's any sport though if i see you making shots in basketball and i see you're forming a shit i know you're of course you're trash but or guitar playing yeah like you're watching like that guy doesn't really know those chords totally like he's just fucking moving his fingers around yeah pretending he's a wizard no you easily i mean look there's a few exceptions always sometimes people have a weird ass form and it works oh yeah but definitely you can usually you know who's the best pool player ever in a movie jackie gleason that's one of my favorite movies the hustler it's a great movie bro that's you know what we talk about dark endings oh yeah we just talk about dark ending the hustler hud also every paul newman movie no uh but uh yeah the hustle was very dark jackie gleason in the minnesota fats bro he's phenomenal he was so fucking he would talk about a fucking drinker too yeah oh yeah who do you think wins shane or jackie gleason one-on-one die they both die the world loses because we lose both of them they drink each other to death dude i think shane probably out drink them though shane's an animal maybe because it's a bigger guy it's like it's like 60s basketball versus now like i think steph curry's taking bob koozie i think that's why i put shane over jackie gleason but gleason those guys were animals you know what i read is that spencer Tracy was such a fucking blackout drunk in the 40s, whatever, that the studio would have to hire people to spy on him at bars and just help him into a car so it wasn't a news story.

2:33:30Because he was just such a known blackout alcoholic and I was like, what a fucking amazing, what an amazing time. I think the difference also is that Gleason is a hard drinker. He's like hard booze, whereas Shane is like beer. Beer. His butt like. Shane monitors your drinks too. If you're drinking with Shane, Shane's like, this one's almost empty hands you know they're like god damn it shane it's tuesday uh his favorite drink jackie gleason's neat scotch whiskey with no no ice no water no soda that's a drunk yeah also known to introduce frank sinatra to jack daniels helping it make make its uh sinatra's signature drink capacity boasts that he could drink more scotch per hour than anyone alive i mean he was you can You just tell he's drinking in that movie.

2:34:15That movie is like, man, that's one of my favorite movies ever. Refused traditional rehearsals for the Honeymooners, claiming a photographic memory, though associates noted that heavy drinking offsets sometimes contributed to forgotten lines or poor creative choices, such as disastrous TV flop, You're in the Picture. Well, those guys back then were such drunks that people would just feed them lines and then be like, oh my God, his performance was so naturalistic. I'm like, yeah, dude, you fed him the line and then he said it. That's why it fucking felt real. Yeah. His drinking was matched with a massive appetite for food and the habit of smoking up to five packs of cigarettes a day.

2:34:51Wow. Five packs doesn't seem... That's not fucking possible. You could do it. Five? Yeah, you could do it. I'm just thinking now, has it always been 20 in a pack? Could it have been 10 back then? No, you could do it. You could smoke 500 cigarettes a day. 100 a day. Yeah, you just keep smoking. You never stop smoking. I mean, you ever see that interview with him where he's just constantly... He's just chain smoking one to the next, one to the next? A hundred is, five packs is absurd. One pack is bad, so five is fucking. Let's think, let's imagine you woke up at 10 a.m., got a cup of coffee, smoked a cigarette, went out to the golf course, smoking cigarettes all the time you're playing golf.

2:35:26Yeah. Like, he was, he was like a baby, like a big, like a, not a baby, like a happy child. Like a grown-up, wealthy, happy child that just did whatever the fuck he wanted to. and just lived as like, had no concern whatsoever for his health. No concern for anything other than having fun. What did Gleason make it to? Six packs a day during the height of his career. Wow. How old was he when he died? I don't think he was very old. I think he was in his 70s, early 70s. 71? 71? You know, I've been really, I really love Alan Watts. I love listening to Alan Watts' speeches. He's just like there's something about his accent and his philosophy with his accent.

2:36:15He was just such a great orator. And, you know, he has such wise words to say about life. And he wrote a great book about the age of anxiety in 1952. Wow. In 1952, he was talking about. I wonder if it has anything to do with the six packs of cigarettes you're smoking. That was the problem with him. This wasn't Jack Gleason. No, no, I know, but I'm talking about that generation of people that just fucking live like that. But Alan Watts as well. That's the thing. He's writing and giving these speeches, and they're so brilliant and beautiful, and they resonate with you so hard. And then you find out, oh, he died.

2:36:51He was 58. Died of heart disease. He was smoking constantly, drinking. He was a fucking terrible alcoholic. He'd been married three times. He had seven kids with three different wives. His life was a mess. It doesn't stop you from being brilliant. I mean, how many friends do you know who are the most toxic relationships you've ever seen? And then you ask them something and they give you the most profound advice. Oh, yeah. All the time. Just because you can still say, I mean, fucking Thomas Jefferson was preaching about how we shouldn't have slaves while impregnating slaves.

2:37:22It's easy to not look at your own paper and then speak with, you know, intellect on issues that, you know. You want to read something dark? It's over there. there's a book called The Zorg that Siddharth Karra wrote. Siddharth Karra's the guy who wrote Cobalt Red. It was all about the cobalt mining in the Congo. It's like an expose. It's really dark. That's really dark too. It's all bad. And he filmed it and explained it and showed it to us. Everything that's good for us has got a horrible origin basically. Everything we enjoy. But The Zorg is crazy. The Zorg is the ship that essentially ended the transatlantic slave trade because the slave trade apparently was how the insurance industry came about because they wanted to insure their slaves as property.

2:38:13And then if a bunch of them died, they wanted to get compensated. So they would buy a policy on their slave share. And so this one boat lost like half of its slaves and just the horrific conditions because they went to trial for the insurance claim because they had to throw women and children off the boat because they ran out of water because they missed Cuba and they were circling around. It is the darkest, or Jamaica. It is the darkest. It is so awful. And you got to realize, like, that's only 200 years ago? Yeah. 200 fucking years ago? 200 fucking years ago this was going on? I mean, you think about how slavery was not that long ago.

2:38:53It's pretty crazy. Well, it's not even not that long ago. It's happening right now in the world. Right, right. But that kind of - I meant in America, but yeah. The Atlantic slave trade where they had people 16 inches per body on this boat. That's how stacked the boat was. And they have a diagram of these bodies, like how they made them lie down because that was the best way to conserve space. And they had them lie down on the ground shackled 16 inches per body. And I'm pissed with Delta Comfort. It's a fucked up time, man. It's a fucked up time. No, it's, uh, that's fucking awful. I think, yeah.

2:39:30It's dark. It's as dark as the Roy DeMeo shit. Yeah. Yeah, when you look too closely at the ingredients of the country, it's like looking too closely. It's the ingredients of humans. Of humans, yeah. That's the problem. Humans, when they're allowed to be awful, they - They'll do it. They'll do it. Yeah. Especially if they can get away with it. They'll do it. Yeah, man. The cobalt shit's nuts. Yeah, and that's our cell phone battery? Uh-huh. That's crazy. Cell phone, electric cars, most electronic laptops. So there's, I mean, look, there's no good, like gas, coal, there's no good outcome for your car really, right?

2:40:05Oil, it's, there's going to be a shady way you're getting any of this, right? Oil's probably the best, honestly. Isn't that crazy that that's where we're at? Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's also probably the, even though the emissions aren't good, you know what's really bad? Brake dust. Brake dust is really bad, too. Why is that? electric cars are heavier and electric cars give out more brake dust because the like that shit that you wash if you wash your car and the shit that's on the wheels that stuff gets in your lungs like that stuff is all over cities like when you're dry if you're in new york city and you're like beep beep bumper bumper everyone's hitting the brakes that's all brake dust all that stuff goes in the air so it's like this the air in new york is hilarious you're like you go to a place it's like i love i'll die in new york i adore new york to death but like you go to like vancouver and you're like, why is the air so nice here?

2:40:54It's just crazy. You walk around New York enough and you're just like, why do I smell garbage every... And I will fight for New York to the death. It's my favorite place in the world. But like, yeah, it's crazy. Well, it's a trade-off. You want to stack all those people together like that, you're going to get exhaust fumes, brake dust, rats, garbage. I had a rat in my fucking home last year. On a high floor, it's a very upsetting thing. Electric cars make significantly less brake dust. Okay, but hold on. Regenerative braking is only Teslas, though. No, it's not. Yours does it? Yeah. But most of them aren't standard, right?

2:41:28You have to turn that on. Regenerative braking on Teslas is standard. It's like turning air conditioning on, though. It's pretty easy. Some of those self-driving cars, some of them are amazing. I was in Fiona Colley's car, you know Fiona, in Nashville, and she's got a self-driving car. It's unbelievable. Yeah, mine does that. The technology is kind of incredible. My Tesla drives itself. I can leave in the club, I press a button. Boop, boop. Something scary I saw last night. I don't mean, scary is not the right word, but it is. A guy was showing on Twitter that he could upload his own self-driving model or whatever, you know?

2:42:01What? What does that mean? For instance, you know how you could have your own LMM on your own computer and talk to your own agent, if you will, and it's separate from being online and it's not taking up all the resources? He was saying how he, I don't know if he downloaded it from GitHub or where he got it from, But he was in control of his own self-driving fucking model. So wait, I don't understand how that works. He owns the car, I guess, you know? Okay. Update it. He's hacking the software. So he hacked into it. What kind of an electric car was it? It's a Tesla. So he hacked into his Tesla.

2:42:34Yeah, he was showing the video of it. He didn't show the video of how he did everything, but he was showing the video of the car driving. So what is him hacking into it so he can just do whatever he wants? No, well, I mean, I don't know about that. He could drive his wife off a cliff is what he could do. So I guess if you don't know. We're going to get some good Columbo episodes if they bring that shit back. Not all Teslas have it. Sorry to bother you. It's a software. That was a good Columbo. Thank you. It's a software subscription you need to pay for. And his response was like, well, I don't have to pay for it anymore because now I own it.

2:43:00Is Robert Blake dead? I don't think so. Beretta? I don't think he's dead. Man, he's a piece of shit, huh? There was a restaurant that was down the street from my house. Isn't it crazy that he's in the movie in Cold Blood? He died in 23. Oh, he died? All right, good. It was a restaurant that was down the street from a place where I used to live that I used to go to was where he allegedly whacked his wife. Remember that whole story? Yeah. He claimed that some guy in a hoodie came over. I forget the story. And he plays the murderer in Cold Blood. In Cold Blood, yeah. Yeah, he's a piece of shit. Wasn't it?

2:43:33Who did that movie? That was a weird movie. I forgot. But he had, like, white makeup on and stuff. He looked, like, really creepy, didn't he? Yeah. I think he was a dumb one, too. I'm confusing that with another movie No, that was a Capote book In Cold Blood That was a fucking amazing book His son is staging a murder mystery at the same restaurant where the Vitello's No This is a real heat check, dude No, no, no, no, no No In Cold Blood actor Robert Blake was accused of shooting his wife Bonnie Lee Blakely To death in the parking lot of Vitello's Italian restaurant in Studio City in 2001 Now his son is staging a fictional murder mystery in the same eatery.

2:44:15That's gross. It's a lot like OJ's If I Did It. It's a real heat check. That's crazy. LA's fucking weird, dude. That's crazy. $150. You got to do what you got to do. You don't have to do that, I guess. No, you don't. That's pretty dark. He was acquitted in the murder but found liable in the civil case, also like OJ.

2:44:35the daughter of both Blake and Bakley first took her objections public Monday she's going against her brother denouncing the production on social media and pleading with followers please help me shut down this show that is crazy there was an obsession with true crime to a point now where I was like come on guys the ladies love it they love it yeah I will say I like forensic files because there's closure and the unsolved mysteries ones that's where I'm like what are we doing I think ladies want to know how murderous men think so that they can avoid them. I think that's the, like, what? What's going on?

2:45:08Like things on, like, the Night Stalker, like Richard Ramirez, like that documentary. Exactly. He was a scary one. Very scary. That's very popular with the ladies. So it shows that guys don't, we're not watching, like, Gilmore Girls. We're not, like, we want to know how women think, you know? But women, but we're a threat, so I get why they watch it. I mean, women are upset. And women, I'll date girls who just, like, go to sleep right after watching. It's unbelievable. Yeah, I don't understand how they do that. The Ramirez one, he was a scary fucker. Who was the guy that was on the dating game?

2:45:38Forgot his name. Pull it, it's like a - The video of him smiling - Oh, dude. He looks like such a fucking psycho. But he had them all won over on that show. He charmed them. There he is. Rodney Alcala, that's right. God, yeah. Is that him in jail? Look at him on trial. Look at his hair. That's crazy. Oof. Jesus Christ. Looks like Weird Al in that photo. 2010 he was sentenced? So when did he get arrested? What is the story behind it? Dating Game... Oh.

2:46:19Okay. Dating... What's the title of it? Dating Game Killer Sentenced for a 1970s Murder. In 2013, he got sentenced? Convicted California serial killer Ronnie Alcala, contested on the dating game television show more than 30 years ago, was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison on Monday for murdering two New York women in the 1970s. Was this additional? Yeah, already on death row in California for killing four women. So many people. And a 12-year-old girl in that state was extradited to New York. So this was when he was already in jail. And he was 69. God. These fuckers get away with it forever.

2:47:00That's a crazy ad to have in the middle of this. Yeah, what the fuck is that ad? It's crazy. Jesus Christ. They're selling a shirt that says problem solved that has blood splattered all over it. It's not even obvious what it is. It's his line. It's not obvious? No, I mean, like, what are they, is it even selling that? It could be anything. Click on it. I don't want to. Click on it. I don't ever click on these ads. Click on it. God damn it. Halloween. But make it your style. Yeah, it's supposed to be a real murder for Halloween. You're supposed to be like the Joker or something fun fuck You're not supposed to go as Rodney Alcala who's buying shirts that have splatter all over them certain kind of an outfit Are you wearing I don't like that some of these Halloween costumes freak me the fuck out dude I stay the fuck in on Halloween.

2:47:44I like it when girls use it as an Opportunity to be a hoe of course. I mean that slutty nurse When you're doing like weird when dudes start you can you especially in New York dude There's people doing weird shit, and you're like, same feeling I get when I see a dude with a backpack at the movie theater. I'm like, oh, come on, dude. Right. You know you're making this uneasy. Right. Right. They should have a metal scanner. They absolutely should. Yeah. I'm out for more security, but at the same time, I want to relax in a movie. I like going to the theater. Yeah, the mask thing is nuts, man, because so many people could just wear masks now.

2:48:23It used to be if someone wore a mask and they walked into a bank it was crazy Yeah, but now you can't even question them because they it might be a covettish how many people are robbing banks these days That must be like I wonder I wonder cuz it's like that feels like hard to do it feels like this like the 80s or like a small town and you know Well, especially with like flock cameras and all that shit. It feels so hard to do now How many bank robberies are there a pre-year let's guess in the United States? I'm gonna guess like 20 Matt might be In the whole country? Is that crazy? Like a real robbery?

2:48:53I'm going to say 200. You're probably closer. It happens a lot. Credit unions and shit. I don't know how people get away from it. Well, yeah, I'm talking in person. We're not saying successful. I'm talking in person with a gun. I'm not talking like some sort of like weird wire fraud thing. What about if they show up with a letter that says, I have a bomb? Is that okay? Does that count? Yeah, we'll count. That counts. Okay. So maybe it's higher. I'll go 50. Okay. I'm saying 200. But I think you're right probably. I still think you're right. I think there's a lot of small credit unions and weird places and weird.

2:49:23Way up? Way up? 1 ,000? Yeah, it's still higher. 2 ,000? I mean, it's like 1 ,300. Wow, I'm fucking way off. Whoa. I even attempted bank robberies. Per year? Yeah. 1 ,362 bank violations, including 1 ,263 robberies. But it's way down. You watch a movie like Point Break now, and you're like, that's like a period piece. That's not. 92, there's almost 10 ,000. Yeah. It is a fucking nutty thing. To have like a building that has all the money in it Well, it's got it's becoming less and less right everything's becoming more and more digital think about how Muggings must be down just from people not carrying cash.

2:49:57Yeah, people just want your phones. They get your Bitcoin wallet Yeah, I mean God it's or they do the one where they kind of they're able to scan your card somehow or something right? Yeah, they can do RFID chip. It's all digital theft now Well, you know they're also can get you the gas station, you know, they put those those things Or it's just people who like getting close to you. I got a guy steal three years of Facebook money from me Really? Yeah, how did you do that? He was a social media manager. I didn't realize he stole my fucking money I wasn't paying it. I imagine so many things that he stole from other comics do he stole from Norman fortune Oh, you had him managing your stuff.

2:50:31Yeah, because I don't want to deal with that shit But he yeah, but he was just he put it directly into his account I was like I and they made it on Facebook where it's like really hard to get it back In your name you needed to go through all these procedures I wouldn't have gotten it back if I didn't know a guy at Facebook. I have a friend who used to work there. How did you know the guy? Norman was like, you should use this guy. I'm like, thanks, Mark. Didn't fucking apologize, by the way. Mark got out of it, and I was like, this guy's weird. Mark's like, oh, yeah, that guy's a piece of shit.

2:50:56I was like, oh, thanks. Yeah, all those people are weird. He took from a lot of comics. Well, if they think comics are not paying attention, it makes sense. We're not. I'm thinking of the next joke. I'm not thinking about my fucking money. Especially Facebook money. How much money are you even talking about? It's not crazy, but it's— It's enough. Three years ends up being substantial. Yeah, it's real money. It's real theft. Did the guy get in trouble? No? Nothing? I mean, I'll do something. Probably doing Theo's stuff right now. Someone did it to Theo, too. I messaged Theo. I was like, is this— And he goes, I messaged Theo.

2:51:26I was like, this guy steal from you? And Theo goes, was he black? And I was like, no. And he's like, nah, it wasn't him. Yeah, he just went through something. Yeah. There's a lot of those guys like that. Because you have to give up your account to them in order for them to run it. I'm not going to say it's worth it, but it's almost worth it just not having to deal with shit. I just want to live a normal life and go to the store and get coffee and think of jokes and do shit. There should be an AI that does that for you, which makes more sense. Because the problem with a person doing it is that person could also send DMs on your behalf.

2:51:58Oh, dude. I mean, look at Dane Cook. His own fucking brother took from him, right? Yes. I mean, anyone could do it. Not only did his brother take from him, he never recovered the money. and his brother went on a trip across the country. They don't know what he did. They think his brother might have like stored the – I think he just did a documentary on his brother. Yeah. Looks good. Here's the first AI agent mishap. Metauser says Muse AI gave out his address, agreed to pick up. He never approved. Muse AI agent sold his keyboard on Facebook Marketplace at a low ball price, shared his address with the buyer and set up a late night pickup all without his approval.

2:52:42I was trying to get him killed. It's fucking weird. Yeah, no, I mean, there's too much to think about. There's too much to manage. I can't deal with all this shit. Yeah, it's weird. It stresses me out. I mean, you must have a million things that you give to other people to do, right? I try not to think about much. True. Because it's too much to think about. So I just focus on doing the podcast, doing comedy shows. That's what success is You try to get away I mean Someone like you You're like I just want to show up And work on this shit I think the more You micromanage that stuff The more it fucks With your head too It just That becomes It becomes a part Of your focus And it just steals From all your other focus Totally Yeah no I want to think about That's to me Is like luxury Is like less Stuff I have to worry about And I just want to 100 % I want to just like Live life And enjoy life Word Alright dude Netflix New special Yeah, Sam Morrell, incorrect.

2:53:35I heard it's awesome. It's good. I have not watched it yet, but I've heard great stuff. Give it a watch. You're a funny motherfucker. I'm sure it's awesome. It's my best. I'll say it's either my best or my second best, I'll say. It's hard to top that YouTube one I did in 2020 because I was so fucking hungry and angry at the world. But this one, it's really good. I took a little longer with this one. I shot it in the Tampa Theater. Gorgeous theater. Three shows. Ton of fun. Oh, that's nice. I threw on a nice blazer. Come on, guys. Three shows is a smart move. It's a move. I got to do at least three.

2:54:07Yeah, you get it. Three or four. You get loosened up. Yeah, and the crowd was so, Tampa crowds are fucking great, man. Tampa's awesome. That theater's one of the most gorgeous theaters, and I got in right before they renovated it. So I was like, I got all the kinks and the dirt in it. It's such a fun place to tape. A lot of swingers in Tampa. Yeah, dude. They're wild. Hopefully my girlfriend stopped listening. Yeah, no, what? Swingers? What? A whole group of swingers came to one of my shows once, and they were telling me. And they all looked like nobody you wanted to swing with, of course. Of course.

2:54:37But it was just very— It's like a nude beach. You're like, tits, and then you're like, oh, tits. It's just very odd. Not good. That they were all grouped up. And then you said the same thing. It's very odd. They were all grouped in this one place. Yeah. I mean, it's just a place I was like, I've never done a special in Florida or anything. So I was like, let me just mix it up. And Tampa's always been good to me. I played a club there coming up called SideSplitters that always treated me really well. and I was like, let me do it. Also, you know when you're touring and you clock a theater, you're like, I really like this theater.

2:55:04Yeah. There were two others that I clocked that I was like, I'm going to come. One is the Bijou in Knoxville and the other is the Moore in Seattle. There are two theaters that I just like, these are beautiful. The vibe is right. You know what I thought about doing? Fox in Detroit. Ooh, that's a really nice one. That's a good one. Yeah. That's an old school one too. That place, they have one of their columns that is replaced and the one that was there before is Yellow from Cigarette Smoke. Yes. That's how old it is. Detroit's great, too. I mean, it's a great comedy city. It's like a real city. It's a real city.

2:55:34Yeah. Gritty. The Midwest is great for... I always shout out the Omaha Funny Bone. That's where I always work out. I try to build back up Colleen. Oh, really? I love that club. They say Omaha is where they test a new fast food item. So like if Taco Bell or McDonald's, like we're going to try a new thing because it's so representative of America. So I'm like, well, by that logic, it should be great to test new jokes. Yeah. So I love Omaha Funny Bone. Or like, yeah, right now I'm on tour and I'm just like trying clubs and I'm building back. It's such a miserable process, but you're building back up, and you go to the places you always want to go, like Madison or Cleveland Hilarities is great.

2:56:07All these clubs are such great clubs. So you build back up, and it's a humbling but fun process. We're lucky as fuck, dude. We're very lucky. We're lucky we get to do this. This is the funnest job. I feel lucky, man. For sure. I'm glad you do because you're very appreciative of it. It's very apparent. Sorry, my Columbus pride won't let you take that away from us. Oh, you're from Columbus as well? I'm going there. I'm going there oh is that where they do the test I'm going there most of the test stuff early next year I'm hitting the funny bone there I love that club too another great place I love Columbus is great too Columbus is awesome let's wrap it up sweet good to see you brother great to see you how long are you in town for I leave tomorrow or tomorrow afternoon okay you doing to kill Tony tonight I'm not I'm not okay I'm fucking burnt I hear you alright website all that jazz people don't find you yeah just my name Sam Rao okay bye everybody

2:57:13This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. It's football season and Uber Eats is delivering deals every game day. This week, double down on protein-packed sandwiches with buy one, get one, select six-inch subs from Subway. Whether you're keeping it low-key for the game or hosting friends, Uber Eats has deals to keep you fed. So order a 6-inch turkey, tuna, or meatball sub from Subway and you'll get one free. No matter who scores big tonight, you'll score a deal. Order now for buy one, get one, select 6-inch subs from Subway only on Uber Eats. Subway offer valid through October 4th. Add eligible menu item to order prior to checkout.

2:57:57Taxes, fees, and terms apply. Product availability varies by region. Exclusions may apply. See app for details.