830: Terry Crews | On Hollywood, Harassment, and Healing

23:33Now, back to Terry Cruz. years ago like 10 years ago i walked past you on hollywood boulevard and you had i'll call it resting terry face you were thinking about something else and i was like whoa and my friend goes don't worry it's terry cruz i was like okay cool because you were like looking off in the distance probably who knows what happened that morning and i was like oh yeah let's not say you know what this is the thing and i'm gonna tell you what's so amazing that is made my career this resting face is very very like i don't know what it is but ever since i I was a kid, people were like, you okay, man?

24:06Yeah. You're right? I was like, no, no, I'm just thinking. I'm okay. But I have a face that's very like, you know. It was sunny. You're sweating a little. And people are like, okay. And then when I smile, they go, oh, hey, hi. Oh, wow, he's so nice. Oh, so good. And you got to understand, like, that's my whole career. The whole career is that flip. Like, from white chicks to any movie you've ever seen me in, it's always been like, oh, wait. The first movie I ever got, well, one of the movies is a movie called Friday After Next, where I played this crazy ex-con who tried to rape Cat Williams. It was really bizarre, okay?

24:41It couldn't be made today, by the way. But because of that face, Ice Cube was just like, hey, man, you're the dude. But I knew that I was a flute-playing artist. You know what I'm saying? But it's one of those things where as long as I didn't smile, they were like, oh, man, I could have had a career as this straight badass kind of guy. But I never wanted to do it. I remember they were like, man, you know, you got to take some more karate lessons and you can be the next action guy. And I was like, yeah, but I like being funny. I love making people laugh and I love bringing that joy and stuff. And I got a job being this intimidating guy in a movie called Malibu's Most Wanted.

25:20Oh, yeah. With Jamie Kennedy. With Jamie Kennedy. Yeah, yeah. But this was the thing. My job was to be super intimidating, but I kept making jokes and doing funny things. And the director was like, dude, do this again. Do that. Wait, wait, wait. And he started pulling me out to the front. And what was so great is that I got to take the comedy route, which I had all to myself, which was a thing where as a big guy who looked like me, I was all by myself. Like, they were like, dude, he's funny. And back when I started, they had a rule where they said muscles weren't funny. It was weird because Joe Piscopo got all built up and then they kicked him off Saturday Night Live.

25:59Yeah. And everybody was like, okay, you got to stay dumpy or Jack Black or don't try to get in shape. It won't be funny. And I realized that I could make fun of this masculinity. I could make fun of this hyper toxic guy and really kind of turn it on his ear. You know, it's funny because a lot of my roles have done that from President Camacho and Idiocracy to even Old Spice commercials. I was going to say Old Spice, Expendables. Yeah, Expendables. Expendables is like perfect mix of that, right? Because you're an action hero, but it's also like, remember this shit on Christmas? You know, and it was so funny because this is one thing I love about Stallone.

26:37Stallone, he is so wonderful. He wants to be a comedian. Like, he has jokes for days. I believe that. But he's like, but they won't believe me. Like, you know, I'm doing the jokes, but they won't see me killing people. So I'm going to give you the jokes. And that's what he did. He was literally telling me, Terry, I want you to say this. I want you to say that. And it was so cool because he's really a funny, funny guy. He's tried a couple comedies before. That's hard to believe. I feel like there's a guy who rarely ever smiles in public and everything. Sly is hilarious, man. Listen, he's one of the funniest people I've ever been around.

27:14He's as funny as Sandler, and I'm trying to tell you. But as soon as he turns it on on Sly, he's like, back to Sly. Way more intimidating than Sandler, regardless. I would imagine Sly's funny mode is still scarier than Sandler's scary mode. Yeah. Well, Sandler has no scary mode. That's true. He just has zero scary mode, but I love him. I love him. Oh, man. I'm glad we got into this because I wondered if lifting weights gave you maybe a sense of control that you didn't have at home. Because when you're in the gym, you're focused on yourself. It's too hard to pay attention to the outside world because you're pushing weight above your head and trying not to let it fall on you.

27:50And also, you can build your body. For me, I'm not a big dude, but when I was younger lifting weights, I was like, wait a minute. I can make myself stronger than other people just by showing up every day? This is the secret weapon that no other kid had. Well, you know, I started it as a competition. It was about being stronger than everybody because, you know, when you're in the weight room, it was sports specific. But then I changed. A lot of my fitness journey right now, again, I work out for almost two hours a day, usually every day. But a lot of my fitness journey was just about my health and my wellness.

28:30It's not about competing with anybody. It's literally about longevity and trying to be the best person you can be. And also it staves off depression. It staves off a lot of bad feelings. It's very therapeutic. I worked through a lot of disappointments. I worked through a lot of pain. I worked through a lot of my life problems in the gym. Whereas before it used to be about being bigger than someone else or, like I said, trying to kill my dad or whatever. But especially when I quit football, there was a time in my life where I stopped working out. And it was literally like a year because I was like, why do it anymore?

29:09And I was in a complete depression. and I first moved out to LA and my wife came up behind me and pinched my back fat. You know, as a man, we think we're always the same. Yeah. Life comes at you fast. Yeah. And I was like, whoa, what are you doing? And she said, oh, it's cute. You're cute. I love you, honey. I was like, oh my, don't you ever touch that again? Like, I didn't even know it was there. And then I realized, wait a minute, why am I not taking care of myself? And this is where the workout works because it's all about self-care. It's literally you taking care of yourself. And this is the essence, I think, of what being a man is.

29:50I mean, it's about taking responsibility. But you have to take responsibility for you. You can't take responsibility for anybody else. It's not about you controlling anybody else, whatever. It's like in the weight room and in your learning and in your path, you have to take control of what you can take control of. and it starts in a gym. And what I do is I put podcasts on, I put books, I read, you know, like Tim Ferriss. Oh, sure. You know, all that stuff. But also I put tons of self-help books, therapeutic books, books that just really help me while I'm lifting. So it's never really about my body.

30:32It's about my brain at the same time. Do what you like and love, but don't worry about the outcome. So if you end up with a great body, great. But a lot of this stuff is just self-discipline. If you don't have it, you never really achieve anything, anything worth having. Did you ever change the relationship with your dad? I know there was a confrontation at some point. How did that play out? Well, yeah. I mean, first of all, my father, I was an adult. I was about 30 years old and he hit my mother in the mouth and literally knocked her tooth loose. I couldn't believe it because as people who suffer from alcoholism, Christmas is a hard time.

31:14And it was around Christmas. We call it the Christmas from hell. And I told my mom to get out the house and the whole thing. And it was just me and my father. And I beat him up. I thought it was going to be therapeutic. I thought it was going to feel good. And I felt worse. It was horrible because there I was. He was the shell of a man. I'm big, strong, towering over him, had beat him down. He's begging me to stop. And I thought that revenge would be wonderful. Because, you know, as men, we live in a revenge movie. Sure. You know what I'm saying? It's all about the get back. It's all about this.

31:54But then I realized that you can either have revenge or success, but you can't have both. A lot of people feel like, yeah, I'm going to get people back. But what it does is drags you back into the mud. You know what I mean? You have to go back into a very dark place to find your revenge. And sometimes you don't make it back out. Because even if you get it, now you're tainted. Now you're muddy and dirty and sloppy where you were clean. And success is about leaving this stuff behind, forgetting revenge, and just finding a new territory, finding new place. You'll never get sullied. You're always being a new spot.

32:36And after I beat my father up, I didn't speak to him for like 10 years. And he was unapologetic. OK, but there was one time I remember I started to get into therapy really big. And I really got into a very big forgiveness thing where I was like, I got to find ways to forgive people because this is hurting me. It's not damaging anybody else. Me holding on to these problems. Right. And so I remember saying I got advice from a therapist and I went to my father and I had to thank him for one thing he did for me. And I said, hey, man, I want to thank you for having me. And that was the best thing I could think of.

33:17I said, because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't exist. So thank you. And he cried. And he was like, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry. I was like, this is what it was like. I couldn't believe it, man. I really couldn't believe it. I mean, what beating him up, you know, couldn't do, this did. I'm not going to say our relationship was great, but I'm different. Because I did forgive and move on and find that success and kind of get past the lust for revenge. I'm over it. And now I live a free life. It doesn't really matter what he does anymore. It's about me taking control of the things I can take control of, which is myself.

34:01You know what's crazy is that I started to realize that everything I went through made me who I am today. Let's say I had a great upbringing. I could be a bum on the street. You know what's crazy? I've seen great parents have crazy, ridiculous, mean, serial killer kids. Yeah, it happens. And I've also seen terrible parents. These kids come up and they just are the most amazing people. It's just like they changed the world. You know what I mean? It's really about choice. It's really about choice. Like, I can't blame my father for anything that happens to me today. You know what I mean? Like, oh, man, my dad was mean.

34:41Now I can't go to work. You know, that makes no sense. It makes no sense. My kids can't blame me. The adult ones can't blame me for anything that happens to them today because they're responsible for their day. As long as they know that. You know what I mean? But we waste a lot of time blaming old things that, you know, all of a sudden, well, my father had did it or my mother had done that. Well, they didn't. So now what are you going to do about it? It's up to us to make these choices, to do these things and do the work to make your own life better. I mean, because no one is coming to save you.

35:18That's the hard part. That's an interesting point. I do wonder, a lot of people who are really successful, sports, acting, other things that you're good at, a lot of times the success brings out old negative stuff that is hiding. And I wonder if you had any experience with that. Like sometimes being successful highlights your flaws, whether it's money, fame, whatever. Oh, easy. Being successful, I realize overachievement is almost the same as underachievement. when you are underachiever, you hide under a bridge. When you're overachiever, you hide under a bridge you own. You know what I mean? Like success is the warmest place to hide.

35:57It's hides all these problems and all these things because no one's going to call you on your jump. Oh yeah. He's great. He looks good. It's wonderful. And I remember because I had an addiction to pornography for years. And I'd been married to my wife for 20 years and she didn't know. And it imploded our marriage, imploded. But I was very successful. Like you have to understand, I was making money. Everybody thought it was great. And when my wife and I were going through this, because we split up, I had to go to therapy for the first time. And I literally went to this whole place where they deal with sex addiction and because I couldn't get rid of it.

36:39A lot of people doubt. They say, well, you can't be addicted to pornography. But all I knew is I couldn't stop. I wanted to, but I couldn't. And I was like, what is going on with me? But people were still like, you know, Terry, you're great. You're fine. And I'd watch my wife, you know, roll her eyes like, I know a whole different dude. And that was the thing that hit me, man. I was like, wow, man, And there's a level of success that is really internal when I can look and be proud of who I am. But this was the thing. I wasn't. It was an image. It was something that I had built up where it was this image of Terry Crews that was so beautiful and so wonderful.

37:19But deep down, I knew that I was a jerk. I knew that I wasn't doing the right things. It's a tough realization to come to, I would imagine. It's hard. Oh, no. It's the hardest. But it's necessary. I rebuilt my whole life, man, from the ground up. It had to all get raised and we built it together, me and my wife. Do you feel like that porn addiction affected your job as an actor? Because if your job when you're acting is to portray humanity in general, you strip that away from people you watch in porn, obviously, right? I mean, that's almost the point, I would imagine. It seems like it might affect your ability to do that successfully on screen yourself.

37:56Or am I just reading it? No, no, no. It's wild because when you see people as objects, this is what happens even in the industry. When I looked at comedy, even in the 90s, people weren't represented. They were like objects. You would have Asians or Black or Hispanics that were really just stereotypes of themselves. And everybody would laugh. And it was like, ha, ha, ha. But you realize it's not a real person. It does the same thing pornography does. Yeah, there's body parts, but I don't really care about how you feel about any of this. And I realized comedy was doing that in a lot of ways. Like, it didn't really care.

38:35In fact, it was all about hurting feelings. That's where the funny part was. But right now, I think that there's been a realization. One of my things that I knew that I needed to do when I was going to do something funny, I was going to be the joke. And that came out of a lot of my therapy. I realized if the joke is on me, then you have to see me as a person. It's funny because you had to see me as a whole person. This is the thing I like to say sometimes. It might be a little confusing, but I'd rather be whole than good. I'd rather be happy than right. Whole is that you see me, you see the good and bad.

39:16Whereas before I was only obsessed with people just seeing me as a good guy and seeing me this and this and this. But I can honestly say if I'm having a bad day right now to anyone, you know, and I can honestly say my feelings. Whereas before it was like, I'm good. No, I'm fine. Everything's great. And it wasn't great. And I would push past all those feelings, push past everything. Like if someone insulted me, I'm like, no, no, you can't touch me. I'm good. I'm good. But I'm not good. If I was insulted by someone now, I can say, hey, man, that's not cool. I can literally look at him. That's a whole person as opposed to just being, oh, I'm good.

39:52Oh, man, he doesn't bother anybody. This is the thing about the Internet that I think is refreshing is that, you know, for every great comment, you get 10 bad ones. It keeps everything in perspective. You know what I mean? Like, I can't say everybody loves me. I can't say that. You could scroll down and you could find some people who hate my guts. Oh, in the comments. That's what I'm saying. But it's almost like good because that means I'm human. Now, I'm a human being. If everybody liked me, I'm a picture. I'm an image. You know what I mean? But humanity, there's going to be people who like you.

40:26There's going to be people who just don't care. And there's going to be people who hate your guts. That's whole. And that's okay. So the tip here is what? Read the YouTube comments? I don't know if I like that. No, I would not advise. Definitely. You've got to go to therapy for a long time before you hit the comments on YouTube. Man, you've got to meditate for a few years. No, no. Listen, I don't even read them anymore. But I'm just trying to say that it's perspective. You know what I mean? That's what it is.

40:57This is The Jordan Harbinger Show with our guest, Terry Crews. We'll be right back. If you like this episode of the show, I invite you to do what other smart and considerate listeners do, which is take a moment and support our amazing sponsors, or at least one of them. Right. To learn more, all the deals, all the ways to support the show are going to be at jordanharbinger.com slash deals. You can also search for any sponsor using the AI chat bot right there on the website at jordanharbinger.com. Please consider supporting those who support the show. Now for the rest of my conversation with Terry Crews.

41:29Your Hollywood story, the early days has some magic to it, right? I heard you had some friends who would tip you off to movie shoots and you would go in and check it out as a visitor, try to do security. Tell me about training day. I mean, you got with Denzel and you know, you're big when you only need the first name. Everybody knows who you're talking. Listen, oh man, that was it. I was tipped off because what I did, I did security. So the location managers would always call me and they were like, hey man, Denzel shooting a new movie over here down in LA, you got to come down. And I would come down just to watch.

42:00Now you understand, I was not coming to LA to be an actor. I came to be a creative. my portfolio was in at Disney, at DreamWorks, as an animator. Wow. And I had scripts that I had written. My whole thing was about being producing and writing. Acting was the last thing. I was doing security and they were like, hey, man, you should act. I was like, yeah, whatever. I was not interested in that. But I had so many people telling me I should try it, I went and tried it. And this was one of those experiences where I was down there just to watch Denzel work. And the director, Antoine Foucault, was like, hey, man, you want to be in this movie?

42:38And I was like, yeah. He was like, hey, look, take your shirt off, go to the roof, and I'll put you in the movie. And I was the guy who was flipping pigeons on the roof in training day. You go to that iconic scene with me clapping my hands, and the pigeons are flying in the air, and Denzel's driving into the cul-de-sac. That was me. And then he said, come back every night, and I'm going to put you in different spots. So during that big monologue with Denzel, he had me standing right in front of Denzel Washington during that whole King Kong ain't got no me, you know, all that. He said, just mad dog.

43:14And that's all I did. I remember when the Oscars went down and they showed that scene at the Oscars. My mother was like, you're in the Oscars. I'm like, no, I'm not at the Oscars. I'm in the scene, you know. But I was just like, dude, I would have been happy if that was it. I really would have been happy if that's all the acting I ever got a chance to do because I love entertainment. Like, love it. I mean, if you're going to have one go at it, being in a movie with Denzel Washington is a good go. Oh, you know what's so funny is years and years and years later, I ran into Denzel at an event. And he was like, man, I'm so proud of you, man.

43:50I see you everywhere. And he said, I remember you standing in front of me that whole day and the whole time in that movie. and he was like, dude, you're doing good, man. And this is no selfies. I don't need that. This is some of those things that you just take with you because he's like the OG. He's the man. You know what I mean? You're not going to get better than Denzel Washington. No. Maybe if Obama comes up and is like, loved you in that movie, really big fan. But even he's not an actor. Exactly, exactly. I mean, he respects what I've become. I looked at my wife and she was there like, you saw this, right?

44:24She was like, I saw it and I heard it. I just went home like, that's it. I don't need anything else. I don't need anybody to validate me. You know what I mean? This is great. Not anymore. Yeah, I've got validation from Denzel. I don't need to read the comments. I'm done reading the comments. That's it. No more YouTube comments. I know you take work super, super seriously because it's business. Is that how you get the rep that gets you repeat business, repeat offers? Because you say things like, I never leave anything on the table, even if it's small, silly, like there was a lip sync battle and you're like, I am going all in.

44:54That's your thing. That's my MO. I go all in. I go to all in. I don't have a middle speed. I'm either asleep or I'm 100 miles an hour. But I also find that is where I find my energy. Even this podcast, I realize you just got to give it up. You spend most of the time resisting the work and you get yourself exhausted. Just start working. You know what I mean? If you know your kitchen's got to get clean, just start. And all of a sudden, you're like, I got the energy for it. I found that was a good trick because this is one thing I learned in football. You know, when we would do training camp, it was usually two a days.

45:34So you'd have the first practice. And the first practice was always good. And then you go take a nap. And then you go get your lunch and all the things. And you can't move. Literally. You're in the bed. Your body can't move. You are sore. You're like, oh, my God. you're going to be running full speed in 20 minutes. And you're like, but I can't move. And it's an obstacle. I mean, it's something like you go, I don't know. I'm literally a quadriplegic right now. And then all of a sudden you turn it on and you say, get up and go. Bow. And you're out there running full speed 20 minutes later. And you realize it's a trick.

46:11You realize it's a mental game. And that's where I learned it. And I realized, okay, I can do that with anything. So when I'm doing AGT, when I'm doing Brooklyn Nine-Nine, when I'm in a scene and it's long and it's tired and it's late and whatever, go, go, 100%. Right now. It's a trick. And all of a sudden you're like, you're going, you're doing, it's happening. No coffee needed? You know what I mean? Oh, sometimes. Yeah. Okay. All right. Just trying to keep it. That makes a pre-workout though. You know what I mean? But it's really a mind game. You can talk yourself out of a lot of things, but you can also talk yourself into it.

46:51So I decided, let's talk myself into, I just do the things I want to do. If I know I want to do it, then I can go 100%. I would never tell anyone to just do things you hate. It makes no sense. It's also a lot harder. It's a lot harder, dude. When I was doing that refrigeration job, I was like, yeah, I'm getting my check at the end of the day. So go into it. But it is hard. I know a lot of people, they say like, oh, his attitude is so great. I mean, they see the scene in White Chicks. They're remembering you singing. They see you on AGT. They remember the flute scene or whatever it is. But there's an incident here with The Expendables that I read about here that maybe you didn't have the greatest attitude and it changed kind of midway through.

47:31You want to take us through that? This is the thing, man. I suffered from what you would call this, a lack of perspective. I was on the movie and it was while I was there for a few weeks and I saw that I wasn't working. I wasn't doing a lot of things, and I developed a bad attitude. And when I say bad, I was ready to get out of there. Somehow I had pumped myself up to think that somebody owed me something. And listen, it's a trick. It can happen to anybody at any time. You can develop a bad attitude. It only takes a second. A little whining, a little complaining, and you lose your energy to search for answers.

48:09It's truly. And I lost it. And I started whining. I was away from my family. I was in, I remember New Orleans. And I was like, man, they're not using me. And then I turned it around into, man, yeah, they doing this to the black guy. Oh, yeah. And believe me, I already had that story. I was like, oh, see, they're just using me. Okay, I'm just going to say my lines and get out of here. And I was horrible. And all of a sudden, dude, there was a voice that was like, dude, you're on this movie with some of the biggest action stars of all time. and you've never done an action movie. What the hell are you talking about?

48:45And it hit me, man, this cynicism, this mean, crass, just being an idiot. It happens. And I remember just like apologizing to myself. Like, dude, I'm sorry. I got to go back in here tomorrow and I got to act like I want this job. I have to act like this is my destiny. And I decided I had to go back into my mindset where it was like, hey, man, give a hundred and stop playing around. Because, again, you waste your time being cynical and complaining. It's like all that energy just is like it sucks it out of you. It's a drain. I went in the next day and I said, if I had two lines, I'm going to say them with all my heart.

49:30If I have one scene, I'm going to give it everything I got. And Sly noticed. When I say over the next few days, he's like, dude, he said, man, you are really rocking this now. He said, I'm going to make you, you're going to save my life in this movie. And he rewrote the ending. Wow. He rewrote the movie, dude. And I realized that, damn it, that was me. It was me. And a lot of people are going to disagree with me. There's a lot of people going to be like, yeah, but there are obstacles. And there are people who hate your guts. And there are people that, yes, very, very true. Very, very true. There is racism.

50:09There is a lot of problems. But it's still up to you as to what you're going to do about it. It's true. You cannot take away your ability to choose. You can't. And when you take away your ability to choose, you give everybody else power over your buttons. They can maneuver you, change you, do whatever you want. But when I decided, I'm going to change this and it's going to be a good experience because I say it's going to be a good experience. And it was. And it was. I love that. I think there's a quote from you that said something like, be the solution on set. Don't be the problem. It sounds like that dovetails with that.

50:47I would imagine there's more to it. Oh, yeah. And you know what's funny? Even about that whole thing and the way it ended. You know, I had the producer, Avi Lerner, threatened me when I sued William Morris Endeavor for the agent when he accosted me, sexually assaulted me. And we're going to kick you out of Expendables 4. And I was like, fine. OK. And that's when I knew it was OK to let go because I didn't want to do it anyway. I was like, this kind of behavior was going on too long. and I also have to be able to give myself up to people who actually respect me, which is another thing too. That's interesting.

51:26The sexual harassment stuff, you've talked about it before on Breakfast Club and stuff like that, but just very briefly, what happened? Well, the head of the motion picture department, William Morris Endeavor, this man, he's everybody's agent. He was Eddie Murphy's agent, Sandler's agent, the whole thing. And this dude comes up to me. I'm at a party with Adam Sandler. He grabbed me in my privates, right? Like, I'm just, and I jumped back like, hey, man, what are you doing? Yeah. And I don't know what he's on. I don't know what he's doing. And then he comes back at me. And listen, the whole thing was, and I'm so glad I had spent years in therapy.

52:01Remember, I had already been learning about this revenge versus success thing. I see, yeah. And I realized if I knocked this guy out, which I don't think anyone could have doubted my ability to do that. And nobody would have blamed you for that. What did you do? He grabbed my junk. Oh, okay. But this was the thing. But no, but this is the problem. I don't think anybody would have believed me if I had told everybody he grabbed my junk. If I had already beat him up, oh, no. I was the only black man in the whole event. And I weighed 240 pounds and I'm extremely muscular. And people thought, oh, Terry Crews has been waiting to snap.

52:35He's a bully. You're right. I realized that this would have been something that could have set me up for a bad, bad ending. And so I went right to him the next day. And I said, hey, man, your guy was out of bounds. And they told me everything was going to be handled. And it wasn't. Then I went right to the head of William Morris Endeavor, Ari Emanuel. And I was like, dude, what are you going to do about this whole situation? He was like, can't do nothing. He's like, that's it. I was like, what are you talking about? We're going to suspend him. And he's going to lose his title. I was like, no, man, you can't work.

53:12Are you serious? You really going to put this guy back? Just a slap on the wrist? And so I sued him. And it was a big, big deal. But the inspiration for my move was because of the women. When the women came forward at that time, at Me Too, they were called whores. They were called opportunists. They were like being dogged out. And this is back on the internet. And I knew that wasn't the case because I knew it had happened to me. And I also would have felt like a fraud had I just remained silent and let those women get lambasted the way they were getting lambasted. And so I remember putting out these tweets that just told the story in support of what these women were going through.

53:56And I didn't even mention names or anything. The Internet went crazy. But this is the thing. During this time, you know, my wife was right there with me and she saw the whole thing. She saw the whole thing. Oh, no, she saw the whole thing. And she said, Terry, there's not a woman on earth that hasn't gone through something like this by the time they're 14 years old. That's horrifying. It is. As a father of a one-year-old daughter, I'm like, I just can't. Dude, she was like, I'm going to tell you how you got to handle this. And I listened to my wife. And we went through this thing together in the effort to really what I would call democratize this thing.

54:34We turn something that was viewed as 2D into a 3D conversation. You know what I mean? Because anybody is under this dynamic. It happens to men and women, where everybody had thought it was just women going through this thing. But it really put a real accurate perspective on a big, big problem. And you're able to highlight, hey, like, look at these abusers try to protect each other in the industry. Look at the cover up. I mean, that was the thing. I mean, that's why the producer called and said, if he doesn't drop this case, we're going to kick him off Expendables 4. I was like, you can have it.

55:09First of all, the legality of what you just did. Yeah, I'm like, is that? Can you do that? Well, that's how arrogant the whole business is. And people tend to say this is just Hollywood. But just imagine, it happens everywhere, in any corporation. Hollywood just happens to have TMZ following it. Yeah, right. You know, your tire shop, TMZ doesn't care about. You know what I mean? Or wherever else you're working, you know? And imagine saying that about any other industry. Hey, sorry, that's just Best Buy. Get your jump grab when you walk in. Hey, man. I mean, it happens everywhere, anywhere. My daughters have told me stories, but they knew they had to wait years.

55:47Yeah, because they're like, I don't want my dad to go murder this dude. They knew. I was like snapping. But now, and I'm on the other side of this, it changed my perspective. I don't know if it's changed the world's perspective because things are still going on, but it's definitely, definitely opened my eyes to everything that goes on. And it's an eye opener, man. And I really, I don't regret it. I think it's part of my purpose of being in Hollywood, just along with being on AGT and just along with being in Brooklyn Nine-Nine. It's like, hey, we got to make this a safer town. We can't have people afraid to say things.

56:26You can't be afraid. You know, like, listen, if you're afraid, don't do it. But if you're going to do it, don't be afraid. I decided I was going to do it. And I was going all I am. Man, I love that. I wonder, has getting famous changed you in your life? This is a dumb question. But what I mean is you still have to be Terry the dad and husband at home. You can't let that creep in because I feel like that kind of thing can screw up your home life, especially start reading the positive comments. And you're like, you want me to take out the trash can? Have you seen what they were saying about me on DMV?

56:57Oh, I went through that so bad. I went through that so bad. I was literally that guy. I was like, I'm not taking out the trash. He was like, boy, you better get your butt back in there. But now, when I say success is the warmest place to hide, it's one of those things where your family, you can't hide from them. They know who you are. They know. Every time someone would say, he's so wonderful, and my wife would roll her eyes. That hurts, though. Or my kids would look at me like, yeah, but you lost your temper over it. I'm like, shh. This guy's going to blog about that. Yeah, you know. Don't tell him.

57:29And I just realized, wow, man, I can really honestly say that I'm whole. I mean, these last probably 10 years, I've been the holest I've ever been in my entire life. Like, because it's really about my family first. It's really about that and making these stands publicly and also sharing my stories. A lot of these things are not things you had to find out or through some scandal. Or it was like, Terry Crews was digging the pornography. We caught him in a porno place. You know, it wasn't like that. It was like me just talking on Instagram Live or Facebook Live at the time and just really sharing my own struggle to humanize me.

58:12First of all, this Hollywood stuff, it's so deceiving. You know what I mean? And I really, it's very, very important that people see me at the grocery store. People see me walking around. They're like, oh, you're driving a car? I'm like, yes, I am. That's the bar. People think somebody is floating you around on a royal throne with four people. It's like, no, dude, sorry. I'm buying Hamburger Helper today. You know what I mean? Wife's out of town, right? That's it. Look, I'm cooking, okay? But it's very important. And that keeps me in perspective. That keeps me straight because when you see me as a human, you might decide you like me or you might decide you don't.

58:53That's OK. That's totally your prerogative. But it helps me in that I am a real human and it's very refreshing. I agree. It is very refreshing and you're very grounded. I know in 2017, you won Sexiest Man Alive from People magazine. And it's like, that feels good, but that recycling bin is not going to take itself out. Yeah, exactly. Still a coin flip on whether you're getting laid tonight, by the way. In fact, this is funny because that magazine is in the recycling bin. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, that's cute. My wife was like, it's over. You know, that's 2017. You know, it's 2023 now. Where are you, buddy?

59:27Yeah. What have you done for me lately? Man, I want to be respectful of your time. Thank you so much for coming in. We all got to smell that Old Spice. I appreciate it. I'm always wearing it, too. It's so good. I love those guys. It's great, man. Thank you so much. These are awesome questions. Thank you so much. No, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it, brother. We've got a preview trailer of our interview with hip hop legend T.I. Harris on how we went from committing crimes to committing rhymes. Check out episode 262 with Tip T.I. Harris right here on the Jordan Harbinger Show. Let's expedite this ice.

1:00:03Now where I'm from, we do what we call pouring our own troubles. All right. Cheers. All right. You dropped out of high school. When you were that age, were you thinking, oh, I'm just going to sell drugs for a while, then I'm going to become a famous musician? Well, to be perfectly candid with you, that's exactly what I was thinking. I was going to sell drugs until I earned myself the opportunity to become a musician or an artist. I found out my girlfriend at the time was pregnant with my oldest son, quit my job at the airport, completely started head first into the street. That probably lasted about three or four months.

1:00:37But my probation officer still thought I worked at the airport. We had been working on a demo to shop around. It was phenomenal stuff. I said, if you could take me somewhere right now where I could have an opportunity to present myself to somebody, then I'll stop. Jason said, I know somewhere. And I said, see, that's why we on the team together. So we pull up. Jason walked me in the room and then immediately I meet Reese and Mello. Three months after that, I was signed. A month before my son was born, I was straight. Your parole officer must have been like, oh, great, he's got a record deal. All right, he's going to be back at the airport in like a month and a half.

1:01:13You are on thin ice, man. I mean, to be honest with you, he didn't find out I wasn't at the airport until I told him. He still thinks you weren't at the airport. For more with T.I., including some tips on how he runs his business here, check out episode 262 with Tip T.I. Harris right here on The Jordan Harbinger Show. Man, we just ran the clock out on this one. I love it. By the way, anyone out there doing video games, I love to do voiceovers. I'm no Terry Crews, but you just let me know when I can be a character in your game. I'm all in. I've done Grand Theft Auto and a bunch of stuff like that.

1:01:43Gangster games. I really enjoy that work, so holler at me and I'll give your game some free love on the show. Can't really beat that. Free advertising. Not that big companies that make games give a crap about it, but whatever. I love this interview with Terry Crews. I really had a great time. He has a lot of stuff that we talked about before and after the show. he told me a story one Friday night when he was in second grade he said his dad stomped into the living room put on some sad music and basically slumped in his chair and he looked so pitiful sitting there all alone that Terry felt really bad and tiptoed over put his arms around him leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek and his dad it's so sad that this is one of his memories right early memories he turned and stared at him in shock and was just kind of almost disgusted by diet.

1:02:27And Terry says he backed up so fast that he almost tripped. And that is heartbreaking. It sort of set the tone for his life later on. He spoke about lifting weights. We were talking about the gym. He said, I could make myself look fearsome. Muscles were like a superpower. And he said, one day I knew my dad, which of course, remember his dad was super abusive. He said, I knew my dad was going to go too far one day and I would be strong enough to need to take him out. And no boy should grow up thinking that. But at the time, that's what he was going through. That was his reality. And the fear that comes through a story like that is just palpable.

1:03:00I think most people hearing something like this, thankfully, cannot relate at all. But it's not all sort of doom and gloom. Terry's kind of a prankster, if you can call it that. He told me another story that when he was a student, he was an art student in college, and he needed to make paintings that were progressively better. And I think he was having a big summer, a busy summer, he was doing something else. So what he did is he created four or five paintings, each one, that was progressively better than the last. He did them all at the same time. So then when he would go to class, he would turn in the paintings in order of improvement.

1:03:33And that way it looked like he was improving, but he just spent all of his time at football practice, which I think is hilarious. So he basically scams his way through art class by using paintings he already made because he knew what the assignment was going to be. And I don't know why that's funny, but it just sort of shows that he's got tenacity. He's willing to do the work, but he's not necessarily willing to do the work in the way that you're supposed to do the work. And he loved painting and drawing, but he just knew he was never going to make it out of Flint with that. And he was probably right.

1:03:59I mean, fact of the matter is he did pretty well for himself and not necessarily because of his painting skills. He also spoke of a fork in the road, if you will, during the movie The Expendables. He started off, he said he had a bad attitude because he wasn't getting paid enough. He wasn't getting used enough. He felt almost entitled. And he just thought to himself, you know, this is not a winning attitude. This is not going to go well. And here I am in a movie with Sly Stallone and Jason Statham and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm just lucky to be at the table. So he shifted his attitude and came up with lines like, remember this shit at Christmas?

1:04:32And his idea to be the solution on set, not the problem, changed the way that he looked at his work. And so he's filming The Expendables in Bulgaria. And he paints a really interesting picture of this, by the way, because Bulgaria is kind of, it can be a little sketchy, especially when they were filming it. So he's in the Balkans. There's all these mafia guys that pretty much run everything. And they're all staying in these nice hotels and the mafia guys, of course, are all there too. And he's like, they're sketchy gangsters in the hotel lobby. And I'm just wanting to go home. But I knew that this was one of my big chances to really do something with this movie.

1:05:03And you heard it. I mean, Sly really turned around when he turned around. And it's one of the things that made his career what it is today. He is really good at the action hero thing, but he's also an actor who just refuses to be typecast. First, it's a big, scary dude. Then he's singing some goofy song in White Chicks. then he's playing the flute with his shirt off on America's Got Talent, then he's blowing stuff up with the Expendables again, and he's got a hell of a lot of range. And I asked him to what he attributes that range. And he said, and I'm paraphrasing here, I constantly get out of my comfort zone.

1:05:36Looking cool is the easiest path to mediocrity. The coolest guy in my high school works at a car wash. And that I did not paraphrase. I thought that was really, really insightful. he went on to say, I never do anything for money. I do it because something amazing is happening. So he has all these unique experiences and unique paths and weird parts and gigs because he wants the experience. And I think that's a great way to look at things. Look, I'm notary cruise, but I do a lot of stuff for the experience. And I follow a lot of things that I'm interested in solely because I'm interested in them.

1:06:08And that's one, it never feels like work when you're doing that. And two, it can lead to some really incredible things. I mean, this whole podcast was me following my interests to do something like a radio show that nobody would care about. And 16, 17, whatever years later, here I am still following my interests, right? Still just doing what I enjoy. It's that whole, if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. I won't say I never work a day in my life here, but I sure as hell enjoy it when I do. Thanks again to Terry Crews. All things Terry Crews will be in the show notes at jordanharbinger.com.

1:06:36Our chat GPT bot that can make you a custom playlist. Find any promo code, any info from anything we've ever done on this show, including Feedback Friday questions, jordanharbinger.com slash AI. Transcripts in the show notes, videos on YouTube, advertisers, deals, discount codes, and hey, ways to support the show, all at jordanharbinger.com slash deals. I've said it once, I'll say it again, please consider supporting those who support the show. I'm at jordanharbinger on Twitter and Instagram. You can also connect with me on LinkedIn. And I'm teaching you how to connect with great people and manage relationships using systems, software, tiny habits, the same stuff I I use every single day.

1:07:12It's our six-minute networking course, and that course is free over at jordanharbinger.com slash course. Dig the well before you get thirsty, people. Build those relationships before you need them. Many of the guests on the show subscribe and contribute to that course. Come join us. You'll be in smart company where you belong. This show is created in association with Podcast One. My team is Jen Harbinger, Jace Sanderson, Robert Fogarty, Millie Ocampo, Ian Baird, and Gabriel Mizrahi. Remember, we rise by lifting others. The fee for this show is you share it with friends and you find something useful or interesting.

1:07:41If you know a Terry Crews fan or somebody who's interested in the whole Hollywood, how to make it seen, or just think this is a great conversation, share this episode with somebody special. The greatest compliment you can give us is to share the show with those you care about. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you listen. And we'll see you next time.

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