‘Exmo’ Influencers Are Taking On Mormonism

0:05Hi, my name is Alyssa Grenfell and I am an ex-Mormon content creator. That's 32-year-old Alyssa Grenfell on YouTube. Alyssa was raised as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was convinced that there was nowhere as good as the Mormon church. And she talks a lot on social media about her life growing up Mormon. She was baptized at eight. So many memories of my childhood are in church, something called activity days, mutual. She went to Brigham Young University, which is affiliated with the church. And just like lots of the girls at BYU at the time, I decided it was the right thing for me to serve a mission.

0:45And at 23, Alyssa got married in a Mormon ceremony. I participated in an ultra-secret ceremony that takes place in a Mormon temple called the Endowment. In other words, Alyssa was a true believer. She loved her religion and her community. But then, in 2016, Alyssa started questioning her faith. I've spent so much time in this church. Maybe I can just keep believing. Maybe there's something I'll still find. And she began sharing her story online. And then after all my doubting, I finally left.

1:25Alyssa now has more than a million followers across platforms. And she's part of a larger Exmo, or Ex-Mormon, ecosystem. I'm an Ex-Mormon. I am no longer Mormon anymore. I grew up Mormon, and I am not any longer. And as a growing wave of ex-Mormon influencers critique the church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is fighting back with its own social media content. Welcome to The Journal, our show about money, business, and power. I'm Jessica Mendoza. It's Tuesday, October 21st.

2:05coming up on the show Mormonism faces a social media reckoning

2:24my name is Georgia Wells and I write about tech for the Wall Street Journal And tell me a little bit about what brought you to this story. You know, I spend a lot of my time lurking in corners of social media. It's my job. And last year, I came across Exmo content for the first time. Exmo stands for Ex-Mormon. And this was on TikTok, and then I found it on Reels. And it's these videos from ex-Mormons kind of describing their decisions to leave and at times encouraging other followers of the faith to leave. And I couldn't stop watching. I found myself deep into this rabbit hole of ex-Mormon land.

3:03That's where Georgia found Alyssa Grenfell's Exmo content, which laid out her reasons for leaving the church. Her videos really, often they're about very specific experiences she had in the LDS church. A Mormon temple is one of the most secretive places on the earth, and when I did my ceremony, I was told that I should never reveal any of the secrets of what I found out about in the temple. Many of the videos are about the role of women in the church. Here's a list of what Mormon men can do in the church that women can absolutely not do. And some of the videos are around sort of more controversial aspects of LDS history, such as Mormon founder Joseph Smith's polygamy.

3:47Which included marrying girls as young as 14 and marrying the wives of other men in secret. Or, you know, the church hiding the scale of its wealth. The Mormon Church is one of the wealthiest churches on the planet. Georgia, why is Alyssa's content so popular? I mean, part of her appeal to some of these ex-Mormons is the shock value. Like, she wears sacred temple clothing in some of her videos, for example. And over top, this more appropriate dress, I wore the robes of the priesthood, which are part of the Mormon endowment ceremony. I have no photos of my mom getting me dressed for my wedding because there are no cameras permitted in the temple.

4:28And this is, it's a move that practicing Mormons consider very sacrilegious. And so when I've spoken to ex-Mormons about this decision, on the one hand, there's this kind of disturbed feeling that some of them feel viewing it. But on the other, many of them have described it as cathartic. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was founded by a man named Joseph Smith. He was born in 1805 in Vermont. According to church teaching, Smith found a set of golden plates inscribed with text, which was the origin of the Book of Mormon. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it's the most American religion.

5:10It was created in this country, organized in the 1830s. It's also a very hierarchical religion and a very centrally controlled religion. Mormon teachings focus heavily on missionary work and traditional family life, including an emphasis on a sacred role for mothers to nurture children in the home. Throughout its history, the church and its followers have faced significant persecution in the U.S. Joseph Smith was shot and killed by a mob. Members of the church were driven, sometimes violently from other states, into Utah in the 19th century. And just last month, a Mormon church was attacked by a shooter and set aflame.

5:46Four people died. Today, the church is centralized in Salt Lake City. And although just around 1 % of Americans identify as Latter-day Saints, the church has always piqued the interest of many outsiders. Like, there's the popular Broadway satire, The Book of Mormon. Hello, my name is Elder Price, and I would like to share with you the most amazing book. And Mitt Romney's run for president as the first LDS major party nominee. Some wonder whether there are any questions regarding an aspiring candidate's religion that are appropriate. I believe there are. But today's Mormon moment is taking off because of social media.

6:24And it's driven by influencers posting about their Mormon lives. Come along with me as I feed the calves at the dairy barn tonight with the kiddos. As well as some reality TV shows. So there's the hit show, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. It's about a group of TikTok moms. I created MomTalk. It's a group of Mormon moms making TikToks. And then some drama ensues. This whole group is swinging with each other. Wait, what? The show gives viewers a behind-the-scenes look at the Mormon lifestyle and has been renewed on Hulu for a third season. And I think they're tapping into kind of broad interest in this country but around the world about the role of women in society.

7:08it's bringing the LDS community to the kitchen tables, you know, across this country. And it's kind of raising their profile. But having the Mormon moment play out on social media has been challenging for the church, especially now that TikTok and Instagram have made discussions about leaving the church more visible. People have long posted about their decisions to leave, particularly on Reddit, where there's a very vibrant ex-Mormon community. But what's new about TikTok and Instagram Reels are their algorithms. Their algorithms push videos into the feeds of people who weren't necessarily seeking this content.

7:50But TikTok or Instagram Reels served it to them. And so one of the ex-womons told me directly it was really hard for him to dismiss some of the issues about the church when his feeds were just serving him video after video after video about them. What is it about Mormonism that makes it, it seems, particularly vulnerable to social media backlash or to just being, like, so caught up in social media? Mormonism, it's a relatively new religion. It was organized in 1830. And there are documents that detail some of the controversial things that early leaders did. And it's rooted in a lot of conservatism that has repelled many younger members.

8:44This new wave of XML content online focuses on these kinds of criticisms of the church. For example, videos call out practices in the early church, such as polygamy and what's been called a death oath. That phrase refers to an oath Mormons used to make in temple ceremonies that they would submit to execution if they ever revealed details about worship practices there. The church banned polygamy in 1890, and the death oath was eliminated in 1990. The content creators also regularly questioned the lack of archaeological evidence for the Book of Mormon. He didn't even use the golden plates at all that all those ancient prophets had.

9:20They also criticized the church's wealth, estimated to be in the billions of dollars, as well as its complicated history. Mormons were taught, and I think still are taught, that the curse of dark skin is for Lamanites referencing Native Americans. I was taught that any sexual sin, sex outside of marriage, sex before marriage, solo sexual experiences, were second only to unaliving someone. These influencers, sharing their critiques of Mormon teachings, as well as their own personal anecdotes, are getting millions of views. But the church has said its critics often present sensationalized and incomplete versions of its beliefs and history.

10:03And now, it's trying to take back the Mormon narrative through its own social media content. That's next.

10:27Whatever the religion, it's common for younger generations to question their parents' faith. And these days, many of them air their grievances online. Religious affiliation has also been falling more broadly in the United States. When we see data that shows that, you know, in 2012, roughly 1.8 % of Americans identified with Mormonism, now it's close to half that, we're seeing this diminishment. How unique is this problem? I mean, other Christian denominations have been losing members, too, for a long time now. Yeah, they have, but they haven't been struggling with retention to the degree that the LDS church has been.

11:06The LDS church is shrinking as a share of Americans more than other Christian religions in this country. To be clear, convert baptism reached a high last year. They're seeing a lot of growth in Africa right now. So they are growing. But here in the U.S., the church is having a hard time retaining its members. And in this struggle for retention, the spread of videos that criticize the church and its teachings is a problem. Especially when there are more negative videos about the church than positive ones, according to people familiar with the church's tallies of online content. And church leaders are starting to get concerned.

11:47When I've spoken with people who have been familiar with this version of an Exmo ecosystem for, you know, decades, they are seeing particularly young people choosing to leave the church faster than ever before as a result of being inundated on TikTok and Instagram reels. That was part of what motivated me to want to look further, is because at a time when the LDS church is struggling with membership, we're also seeing many people leaving the church and attributing their decision to these Exmo influencers.

12:24Now, the Mormon church is trying to use the same tools on the internet to counter the Exmo narrative. You know, increasingly church leaders are posting their own short-form video content on the church's social media accounts. Sometimes in life, it's easy to feel unlovable. But missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints help me to know that Jesus Christ loves all people. And they've been featuring a variety of members and different stories and Mormon apostles. To me, the temple means that I can have a break during the week. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I know my Heavenly Father wants me to be my best self.

13:02And it's also encouraged its tens of thousands of missionaries to post pro-church content. Day in the life of a service missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. When you say encouraging its missionaries, they're churning out content creators too, it sounds like. Right. It used to be that missionaries weren't particularly encouraged to be on social media, and now they are. So we're seeing a lot more pro-church content suddenly. Mm-hmm. And so, you know, it'll be interesting to see if that turns into a formidable kind of army on social media, because that's a lot of bodies to throw at a problem.

13:40Individual members of the church are also creating content to promote their faith and fight the ex-Mormon voices online. So I'm a self-proclaimed apologist for the Church of Jesus Christ, Latter-day Saints. I've decided that I want to be a fangirl for Christ. I found so much comfort and peace and happiness in the Book of Mormon and studying the gospel of Jesus Christ. One pro-church creator that Georgia spoke to is 33-year-old David Snell. He has a podcast sponsored by an LDS nonprofit, and he tries to address controversial questions about church history. He wants to provide what he sees as the faithful perspective to counter what the Exmo community is saying.

14:24Did Joseph Smith practice polygamy, or was that something that Brigham Young started? Well, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints just dropped three bombshell articles. One of them addresses this question. And so his point, he told me, was like, if the only place you're getting information about the faith is from people who left, Chances are you're probably not seeing a lot of reasons people choose to join and stay in the church.

14:48But for Mormons already questioning their faith, Exmo content helped them feel less alone. Georgia spoke to dozens of ex-Mormons who said as much. That's what Alyssa Grenfell says she wants for her followers. And I deeply hope that every single person who's currently a Mormon is able to walk out and experience the things that I have experienced and felt after leaving the church.

15:16Ex-Mormons describe the process of leaving the church as one of the most intense things in their lives. In the LDS church, religious leaders promote this idea of an afterlife. And this is where members are reunited with loved ones. But the problem for folks who leave is that it doesn't apply to people who resign, to people who leave. It's why it can be so difficult for Mormons to leave the church. It would mean never being with their families and friends in the afterlife. I can't think of anything more powerful in a sense, right? Because that's forever. That's eternal. That's beyond, you know, this one moment.

16:00And so that was part of what made me really take this trend seriously was because, you know, understanding what a profound decision this was for some individuals and for their families. And for many, this Exmo content showed them a glimpse of the world that could be waiting for them if they chose to leave.

16:40that's all for today Tuesday October 21st the journal is a co-production of Spotify and the Wall Street Journal if you like our show follow us on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts we're out every weekday afternoon thanks for listening see you tomorrow