379 - The BEST Method For Silencing Your Inner Critic

0:00There's a reason that this dream is in my heart. The moments that I've been able to work through that and then create the thing that my heart or my soul really wanted me to create, it was so fun.

0:13Marie Forleo is a leader. One of the top life coaches on the planet. A world-winning entrepreneur. She's an extraordinary woman. Marie Forleo. Marie Forleo. Marie Forleo. Hey, what's up? It's Marie Forleo and welcome to another episode of the Marie Forleo Podcast and MarieTV, Be the place to be to create a business and a life you really love. And this is what we like to call Q &A Tuesday. And today's question comes from Damien. My question's about the inner critic, really. It's about that voice. I'm sure you know the one that goes, well, who are you to do that? The voice that potentially could stop you.

0:51Stop you from coming out of your comfort zone. Stop you from doing anything new. Yes. By the way, I have our whole MarieTV crew here right now. And I just by a show of hands and also by saying yes, you guys, how many people identify with having the inner critic that tries to stop you from doing anything or moving forward on ideas? Say yes.

1:14So all of us, as you know, Damien, so and myself too, you know, there's that beautiful adage that says whatever you resist persists and grows stronger. and I've found that to be true in my life, you know, especially when it comes to the inner critic to tell it to shush or to go away or, you know, to kind of be harsh with any part of myself, at least for me, doesn't seem to work. The second thing that I wanted to share with you that's been really helpful for me, when I get lost in that inner critic or when it gets really loud or it feels overwhelming, I try and remember that it's almost like a compassionate alarm clock.

1:54And what that alarm clock is signaling to me is that I am stuck in my head and I have removed myself from being engaged in the present moment. And I think that for most of us, if we're idle too long, the mind takes over and it can seduce us with all kinds of fun things like, oh, maybe you should try this or maybe you could think about going in this direction or this might be adventuresome for you. And then all of a sudden it changes and it's like you're too old for that. You're not talented enough. That's not going to work out. People are going to laugh at you. So the mind tends to have this seductive quality and my partner Josh who I've been with for 20 years, he has a great thing that he often teaches his students.

2:38He teaches something called committed impulse and he's like if you listen to the mind long enough eventually it all tells us the same thing that we suck. If you're not fully engaged in actual producing of the work at hand, whether it's being in your garden, cooking a meal, creating that next project, writing that song, painting that painting, the energy, if it's not in your body or in the presence, goes up here, and within three to four minutes, you will get to the inner critic telling you that you suck. so recognizing that you're listening to it I love what Eckhart Tolle teaches so beautifully and simply you have a mind but you are not your mind and to be able to have the awareness that you are listening to what I like to call WKRAP FM crap radio on repeat and go okay thanks for sharing but I'm going to take that energy I'm going to take that attention away from this thing and I'm going to put it back in the wisdom of this thing of my body.

3:39I'm going to go out for a walk. I'm going to listen to music. I'm going to start making that salad. I'm going to do whatever it is that gets me re-engaged in real life rather than my thoughts about my life. Because those, again, they could be nice for four minutes or so, but five or six minutes, it's all bad news. I love the thanks for sharing. I really latched onto that. I think that's terrific. And yes, That's absolutely separating yourself from your mind. You can change the radio station. So that analogy works for me. And the other notion of just the thanks for sharing, like the, almost like a little jujitsu of like bringing that energy in and then being like matrix and, you know, going like this and just kind of sideswiping it.

4:21I'm curious, Damien, just because you have such a beautiful light, you have such a beautiful soul, you're clearly a lifelong learner, you're very creative. Is there something that you're interested in creating or stepping out to do next that has been exciting for you these days? Yes. Yes. I'm busy right at the moment with a course, creating a course. And again, my critic says, who are you to create a course? Who are you to try and teach anyone? But I feel like doing it anyway. Yes. And I'm really interested in your copywriting course, actually, because that seems very aligned. What you talk about there about finding your authentic voice and letting that free.

5:09And yeah. If it aligns for you, yeah, come join us. And can you tell us, and you don't have to, please don't feel pressured, but for anyone, because I know people are going to fall in love with you, can you give us any insight into what your course might be about or the area or the topic that you're interested in exploring? yeah it is about personal development it's what i've learned uh myself from in personal development um going back to wow when did i first go to anthony robbins unleash the power there so yes i think i have i've certainly got experience and i've certainly got things i would love to share so i love that and i love the spirit when which you said i i should just do it because it's you know we're here in my opinion relatively for such a short time and I know for myself too there's been so many years when I've held myself back for fear of criticism or fear of thinking that I don't have the talent or that I don't have the smarts or I don't have the education or I don't have the this that and the other thing to be able to do something and the moments that I've been able to work through that and then create the thing that my heart or my soul really wanted me to create, it was so fun.

6:17It was so joyous. It was so awesome. And I think for me, every time I keep that perspective where, you know, there's a reason that this dream is in my heart. There's a reason that I really want to create this. And even if for nothing else, the joy of creation, the joy of knowing yourself as a creator who is able to take ideas and concepts and things that are unmanifest and bring them into real life, into reality for other people to interact with. That in and of itself, outside of money, outside of fame or accolades, is a miraculous experience. And I saw that little glimmer in you when you were like, I should just do it.

6:56And it's like, yes, Damien, we want you to just do it. Yes. Even further, to hurry on with what you're saying, even further, I know a guy called Nick Williams. He's an author. So he's written about 20 books. But he talks about actually the pain of not sharing our gifts. And I think that's telling too. So it's, wow, there's the buzz of sharing your gifts. But if you don't share your gifts, if you stifle yourself, then that's kind of a painful place to be in life. Absolutely. And you know who else? I think we'll put a link to it in the show notes. But if you haven't seen, we did a few, I think, episodes with a wonderful person named Stephen Pressfield.

7:38And he has a great book called The War of Art. And he's another one of my favorite authors speaking about this notion of resistance, too. And when we're in the process of creation, and he calls it the resistance with like a capital R as this force, just like gravity, that every human contends with. and that all of us have to do a little bit of battle with resistance every single day to sit down and whether it's to write our book or our novel or to write our course or to start our nonprofit or to create a new healthy habit or to let go of a unhealthy one that we all face the resistance and the pain that comes when we don't actually move through resistance.

8:20So it's kind of similar to what you're saying. Damian, thank you so very much for your courage and for your commitment to learning and sharing and for overcoming that little bit of resistance even to make a video and to ask so that we could have this beautiful connection today. Thank you so much. Well, thank you very much. It's been a great pleasure to talk to you. I love your energy and enthusiasm and your sparkly nature and I get a buzz from that. So it's been lovely talking to you. I would love to know from you, what is the biggest insight or aha from this conversation and most importantly, how can you put that insight into action starting right now?

8:58Leave a comment below and let us know. And if you loved this episode, hit that like and subscribe button. It helps us reach more people in our beautiful community. It really makes a huge difference. And of course, it ensures that you don't miss a thing. Until next time, stay on your game and keep going for your big dreams because the world really does need that very special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for tuning in and I'll catch you soon.