383 - Always Putting Others First? Try This Now

0:00We're all witnessing tragic, heartbreaking events happening at an ever quickening pace. I would often feel a desire and a need to want to help and to want to rescue. Taking care of others and rescuing or fixing, that was not my responsibility. Appreciate the gift of this moment and being alive. What's up, everybody? It's Marie Forleo, and welcome to another episode of the Marie Forleo Podcast and MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and a life that you love. Yes, you do. And today is Q &A Tuesday. And today's question comes from Leanne. So I'm a bookkeeper from Aotearoa, New Zealand. I live in a rural area in the North Island.

0:46And we've had significant climatic events here, which has been basically catastrophic. So my question is, when, and as a giver of help, which bookkeepers are fabulous at doing and we're often the first responder for small business owners. How do we look after ourselves as well as being able to be the best possible helper that we can be? And because these events affect us as well. That's my question. Absolutely. First of all, I'm so sorry for what you and your community is experiencing. I can only imagine how difficult that is. And as a helper, it is extra difficult when you're experiencing that yourself and you are a person who is providing support and direction and receiving all of not only that information but that energy.

1:40So I can appreciate that. So there's three things I want to share with you. One is a practice that is easier said than done, but it has helped me a lot in my career because very often I'm interacting with folks that are going through something really, really intense and I want to be there as much as humanly possible. in the best way that I possibly can to support that person. And it's a simple phrase and it goes like this, observe, don't absorb. Meaning to be there as a presence and as a witness to fully see what another person is experiencing, but to really step away from taking on the energy as your own energy or feeling a sense of responsibility for it.

2:25I don't know if this is true for you, but it was certainly true for me at many different points in my life where anytime there was a challenge, I would often feel a desire and a need from a very good place to want to help and to want to step in and to want to rescue or do anything in my power to take care of the other person. And again, of course, that's coming from a very beautiful place. But for me, I found there was an imbalance in it because taking care of others and rescuing or fixing, it was like that was not my responsibility. And I'm not saying that from a cold way. I'm saying that I'm not that important.

2:59My presence is important. My compassion is important. My willingness to be there with an open heart and listen and receive and really see and acknowledge someone, that's oftentimes what many of us need. Absolutely. And to observe, yeah, not absorb. Again, it's a practice. It's definitely not something I get perfectly, but I just wanted to share that with you because it's been really, really helpful for me. I really like that. I think it's that whole being able to pause as well and just what is going to be the best use of my energy? How do I be in the best space and do the best things to be able to provide that support?

3:40So yeah, that's right. And so there's two more things I want to share too, just as possibilities as offerings for you as you continue to move ahead. And I think for all of us, the earth is all of our homes and we're all witnessing these incredibly tragic, heartbreaking events happening at an ever-quickening pace. And we're going to feel things and we're going to feel things a lot more. And it's honestly good that we feel things because hopefully it is awakening somewhat of a higher consciousness for all of us to change some of our ways. So we don't want to separate from that or dismiss that. And at the same time, we have to find that balance to be able to keep showing up and to be healthy, which leads me into the second thing I wanted to share with you, which was making sure that you also find time and create time and protect time to prioritize your own joy and your own movement and your own ability to feel and to be and to experience things that really, really, really make you happy.

4:38Because in addition to all the challenging things that are happening and that you're facing and that you're supporting your clients with, We also have to find the beauty every single day and be able to appreciate the gift of this moment and being alive. And whether it's flowers or it's music or it's a simple meal or it's anything, Leanne, that brings you genuine pure joy, I want you to make sure that you are prioritizing that because that in and of itself is healing for not only you and your energy, but that joy, that vibrational grounding is going to have an unspoken impact on your clients as well.

5:17So that's point number two. Totally. Totally agree with that. So while I was waiting for this call this morning, beautiful sunrise, we live quite high up, beautiful. It's going to be a lovely day. I'm going to go and walk my dog after this, which will be a good kind of so, And I often, with clients and also with the other bookkeepers that I tend to connect with and support, you know, that's a big thing. They'll sort of say, oh, I haven't been, there's so much going on. I haven't been to the gym for a month and I normally go every day. And I'm like, get back there. Even if you start once a week again, get those regular, normal routines in place.

5:57So, yeah, that's really resonating. And I think it is the little things. So for me, it's nature. It's a bit of fresh air or it's a bit of laughter. Yes, me too. And then the final thing I wanted to offer, and this is just an invitation. It may or may not resonate for you, but it has really helped me a lot in my life, especially when there have been really difficult situations. And I was cognizant of the fact that I was not able to do much, but I felt a lot. I think that the power of prayer for another person, however that looks or shapes for you. So for me, it is really being still and asking with humility for peace and grace and strength and comfort on behalf of someone else has, for me, you know, some of the books that I've read and some of the things that I check out, there's a lot of scientific research behind the power of prayer, especially when it is directed at others.

7:00And even if someone's like, no, that's a sham, whatever, all I know is that it makes me feel really good. It makes me feel really connected and it makes me feel energetically as though I'm doing something more than just words or hoping that another human being is going to be okay. But putting my energetic resonance and a humble request on their behalf really means a lot. Oh, totally. So yes, I've grown up in a Catholic, big Catholic family. I'm the oldest of seven and you do cart some of that around with you. And I totally get what you're saying there because that, I think just that collective power of thought as well and that really conscious effort of directing your energy.

7:45and I find too when people pop into your mind and you think oh yeah I need to you really need to act on that where someone's popped in because they might not be having such a great day and those things happen you know you can't explain it so I think tapping into that spiritual part of it and I think it's just more that really genuine connection with people as well that you're pausing or you're listening properly or you're just being there yeah so no I get it big time. That's brilliant. Thank you. Yes. So I will be holding you and your whole community and my prayers for sure. And I just want to thank you so much for your beautiful question because you know, we love all kinds of questions here on MarieTV and just the fact that you were asking like really on behalf of like, wow, I am a big support of my community right now.

8:34And there's a lot of challenges. It just speaks so much to who you are as a human being and a soul. And so thank you thank you for being you thank you and for all the great work that you do and um yeah it's it's really inspiring so and and we're all we're all on this journey you know we're all just trying to be on the spaceship together yeah that's right we're on this earth ship together we got to take care of our of each other and and hopefully it so have a beautiful walk with your pups and keep us posted on how everything goes. No, thank you so much. Much love. Thank you. Oh my goodness. How beautiful was that conversation?

9:12I'm curious. What's the biggest insight or aha that came out of that for you? And most importantly, how can you turn that into action starting right now? Because it'll make a difference in your life. Leave a comment below and let me know. And by the way, if you enjoyed this episode, you want to see more, please hit that like button and of course subscribe. Not only does it help us reach more beautiful people in our community, it really, really makes a difference. But most importantly, we'll make sure that you don't miss a thing. Until next time, stay on your game and keep going for your big dreams because the world really does need that very, very special gift that only you have.

9:48Thank you so much for watching. Love you so much. And I'll see you next time.

9:54What is that? Do you see that? It's a, it's a Smurf. No, it's a Vespa. Wait, it's Super Marie.

10:06Whoa, whoa, hold on. It's just me. I'm no superhero. But didn't you start and grow a Global Inc. 500 company that positively impacts millions? Well, yeah. And produce a weekly show, write two bestselling books, and still take weeks off for adventures? Well, yes, but it's not because I'm some kind of superwoman. And look, I've got ADHD, I've got mouths to feed, laundry to do, and yes, I battle fears and doubts and ever-changing demands just like everybody else. Then what's your secret? Honest truth, I start every day knowing exactly what to focus on and what to ignore. I have a list of what produces the highest ROI in terms of profit, impact, and happiness.

10:45And most importantly, I've learned some pretty mind-blowing tricks about the brain and body that help me get more done than I've ever dreamed possible. Whoa, I want that. Well, you can have it. Time Genius is my brand new revolutionary training experience that'll help you set the right priorities, double your creative output, and skyrocket your energy, joy, and profits. Get ready to kiss overwhelmed goodbye forever. To learn more, go to jointimegenius.com. That's jointimegenius.com. I can't wait to see you there.