388 - The 5 Things You Must GIVE UP to Be Successful

0:00Hey, are you ready to bring your dream business to life? Is it finally time to make the difference you were born to make? Good, because we can help. Get started now at joinbschool.com.

0:22Do you ever wonder what it'll take for your business to finally take off? In today's video, I'm going to walk you through five things I had to give up in order to create a successful business. You know, I've been an entrepreneur for over two decades now, but let me tell you, I struggled so much in those first few years. My goodness, I was a hot freaking mess. I wish someone would have told me what I'm about to tell you, but here's what's great. Once I finally gave up these five things, I started making more money, I started making a bigger impact, and most important, I became a better, happier person.

0:58Hey, if we haven't met yet, I'm Marie Forleo, author of the number one New York Times best seller, everything is figureoutable. And for the past 22 years, I've run a digital empire that inspires millions of people. I've also helped over 80 ,000 other entrepreneurs start and grow their businesses as well. I am so happy you're here because giving up these five things can save you so much stress and time and struggle. So let's get into it. First thing I had to give up was self-doubt. As I mentioned, I struggled for years in the beginning. I was deep in debt. I I had this string of job failures and I found it nearly impossible to just sit still and focus.

1:37So my mind was my biggest enemy. Who do you think you are starting this coaching business when your life is such a mess? Why should anyone listen to you or pay you for advice? You're a total failure. Want to know how I gave that up? It wasn't through affirmations or visualizations or even therapy. Instead, I just told the truth. And in doing so, I set myself free. So rather than trying to position myself as some expert or know-it-all, I was just totally transparent. I said, hey, look, I am no sage from the stage. Instead, just think of me as your guide on the side. I'm someone who is on the journey, just like you.

2:14I just happen to be obsessed with learning and growth and finding all of these new ways to help myself and others lead a magnificent life. I was like, look, you may not have the time right now to read all of the books and review all the research and road test all of the tools, but I'm already doing it so I can help shorten your learning curve. And that was it. It was simple, it was truthful, and it helped me move through that debilitating self-doubt that kept me stuck for so long. Now, the next thing I had to give up was a fear of rejection and criticism. Look, I'm going to be honest. As a highly intuitive and sensitive person, this one was so tough for me.

2:58I mean, nobody likes rejection, right? Nobody wants to get criticized. From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes total sense. I mean, wanting to be liked is rooted in our survival instincts. Plus, neuroscientists say that social rejection activates the same part of our brain that processes physical pain. So of course, those nasty comments and those judgments, they hurt. But here's the deal. Whether you sell t-shirts or you run a restaurant or you write books or you're any kind of coach or trainer or consultant, no matter how good you are, no matter how hard you work, not everybody is going to want to do business with you or like the things that you make.

3:38However, do not, I repeat, do not let that stop you from sharing your gifts. With roughly 8 billion people on the planet, there are hundreds, if not thousands, if not millions of folks out there right now waiting for your unique and one-of-a-kind idea. And if you do not get out of your own way and do everything you possibly can to get your brand in front of those people, the folks that you're meant to serve, I am telling you, you are stealing from those who need you most. I want you to remember this. There is no product, there is no service in the damn world that is the right fit for everyone.

4:19That shouldn't be your aspiration, especially in business, because trying to please everyone is really a recipe for mediocrity. It's a recipe for failure and for unhappiness. If you try and go down that route, you're going to get lost in a sea of sameness and never make the money or the impact that you're capable of. Now, I've got a lot more to say on this, so if you ever want to go way deeper and you want my help with your business, consider joining us for B-School next time that program opens up. The third thing I had to give up was following conventional advice. So when I first got started, I read all of the classic business and success books that I could get my hands on.

4:58And they all mentioned some version of the same core advice. Pick a niche, focus down, get known for one thing. And while that advice made perfect sense to me intellectually, it didn't fit for who I was as a soul. Every single time I tried to narrow myself down into a niche and be just one thing, I legitimately felt like I was cutting off a limb. It was like I was this square peg trying to fit into a round hole and it did not work. The truth was I didn't have just one interest or one passion or one singular thing to focus on. I loved personal development. I loved spirituality. I I loved fitness.

5:38I loved hip hop dance. I had dreams of being an entrepreneur. I loved marketing. I wanted to write. I wanted to be a speaker. I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to do all of these different things. And I'd been that way my entire life. It's how I was designed. That's when, thankfully, I stopped trying to fit in and instead started calling myself a multi-passionate entrepreneur. I finally gave myself permission to bring all of me into my business and do things that I had never seen done before. So I brought my love of music and dance into my coaching and into my online courses. I started creating videos that had these elaborate sketches to make teaching points.

6:17Here's the point that I want you to remember. Who you are is a one-time mega event in the universe. In all of history, there never has been nor will there ever be another you. So do not waste one more minute of one more day trying to follow the conventional rules. I want you to start doing you because guess what? Unless you do you, you will never be done. The fourth thing I had to give up was control. In the early days of my business, I started out like most of us do as a one person show. So I wore all the hats, right? I was finding the clients. I was working with the clients. I was invoicing the clients.

6:59I was doing customer service. I was doing a little bit of graphic design. I was getting my website done. I was creating and publishing newsletters every week. Literally all the things. And I was doing that while working several part-time jobs. And yes, it was exhausting. So in order to grow beyond that stage, I needed to hire help, which meant giving up control. And for me, that was super terrifying. One thing that helped me was this notion of starting small, meaning start delegating small, less critical tasks first. So I want you to think about what those might be for you. Maybe it's hiring a customer service assistant for a few hours a week just to respond to emails, or maybe it's hiring a bookkeeper to help you with your invoices, or booking a cleaning service to free up your time without feeling guilty for letting your house turn to shit.

7:50Choose a few low-stake tasks that you can hand off to develop trust with new people and practice loosening the reins. And before long, you're going to wonder why and how you ever tried to do everything all by yourself. Now, the fifth thing that I needed to give up was excuses. So in order for my business to reach the level of success that I dreamed of, I had to eradicate any and all excuses from my mind and from my life. Excuses like, I don't have enough time, or I'm already working for part-time jobs, or I don't have enough money to hire anyone, or I've never been a boss, I don't even know what the hell to do, or how to hire someone, or how to manage, or how to delegate, or you know what, I can't do this, I'm having trouble focusing, and I can't finish things because of my ADHD.

8:40Now, have you ever said anything like that to yourself before? Most of us have, right? So no judgment here. I can honestly relate. But here are two things that helped me give that up. First thing was this quote that I read by the author Alan Coem, which said, there are two kinds of people in the world, those who have reasons and those who have results. Now, I don't know what it was, but something about that quote really hit me on a deep level. And I made a commitment to myself, to the best of my ability, to be the kind of person who has results rather than reasons or justifications. Now, the second and more tactical thing that really helped me eradicate my excuses was my life motto, everything is figureoutable.

9:24I want you to write that down because it is the truth with a capital T. So that's my baseline core belief in life. It's how I approach everything from little minor problems to some of the biggest and most painful challenges that I've ever faced. It helps me stay positive. It helps me keep an open heart. and open mind and be willing to see and create new possibilities. In fact, I wrote a whole book called Everything is Figureoutable, which is now in 34 languages. And inside chapter four is an entire, very tactical, hands-on chapter about how to live an excuse-free life. Check it out if you want a playbook on how to eliminate any excuse that might be holding you back.

10:07And finally, I do want to say that for me, living an excuse-free life is not a one-time event. It is an ongoing practice of telling the truth to myself, about myself, about what I really want and what I'm willing or not willing to do to get it. And while there's so much more that we could talk about, giving up these five things helped me start getting traction in my business, and I know in my heart they can help you too. Now, if you enjoyed this episode, please go ahead and hit that subscribe button right now. It'll make sure you don't miss any new episodes, And it also really helps us reach more incredible people just like you.

10:45And if you want to hear more on this topic or anything else, let me know in the comments. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of MarieTV and the Marie Forleo podcast. And until next time, stay on your game and keep going for your big dreams. Because the world really does need that very special gift that only you have. I'll see you soon.