432 - The REAL Reason You’re Struggling with Money with Lewis Howes

25:18What's the mission of this? Do I really want to be doing this? Is this the type of projects I want to be working on to make money? Once I'm able to have more, I can start to evaluate that. You may not have that luxury when you're starting out. You might just need to work to work and make money. And that's okay. And that's okay. There's a season for that. Yes. And once I launched the show, within the first couple of years, I was like, the first year was I want to do this as an experiment. My mission is to experiment this and to have fun. After a year in, I was like, man, I love this. Okay, I want to keep going.

25:52Now what's the mission? I was like, okay, let me reflect on this. And it was to serve 100 million lives weekly to help them improve the quality of their life. And it's still that today. I haven't accomplished that mission. But it's what helps me overcome any challenge or stress or adversity coming my way. It's my why and why I keep showing up in adversity. And it supports me just the direction I'm going in. And if I had never achieved that goal, I'm okay. Because it excites me still. And I feel like there's a bigger thing behind what I'm doing beyond just making money. Yes. So there's some context for a few different scenarios.

26:26I love that. And also too, just to make it okay. Sometimes I always hear this from people in B-School and it actually made me adjust the content in there because I talk about, you know, building your business and having something that is just beyond you. And for people that believe, you know, I'm like, hey, it doesn't have to be to change the world. You know what I mean? And you don't even need to investigate this right now if that's too much and it just feels too overwhelming and it feels like pie in the sky and you want to slap me. Cool. Let's put this aside for a little bit. So thank you for sharing that.

26:58If it's just like it's getting off the couch, it's getting, you know what I mean? The money mission or the meaningful mission for right now is like, hey, I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck. And I want to actually have, I remember one of my first money goals, like the business had started definitely wasn't like was not thriving. You know what I mean? I was still, it was like a mess and bartending and waiting tables and just like so overwhelmed trying to figure things out. But I remember reading like a Susie Orman book and it was talking about having like a rainy day fund. Yes. And I think I probably still have a journal somewhere.

27:30And Josh and I, um, we talk about this often and he was like, Marie, do you remember when you were, I remember I said to him, I was like, could you imagine having like$60 ,000 as a savings? Like I literally like that. I was just whispering it. I was, well, that's, it's like, that's how I was. And it was just, but it was, you know, and then I remember he's like, well, what else do you want? You know? And I remember saying like, well, you know, and I was, I was like embarrassed. I was like, well, I really, I want to see this business. Like, I don't even know. Could I earn like a million dollars a year?

28:00Like I couldn't even like, it was so, I was like, there's no way I could do that he's like I know you could do it like he saw stuff in me but the reason I'm just bringing that up is like if no matter where you are right now when you're hearing this conversation any mission that you can get behind is good enough yes 100 and it doesn't have to be changing the world but it could be changing your world yes and that's huge that's huge like me getting off my sister's couch changed my world yes and it was life changing and it gave you you were like oh I well I could do something. Yeah. Right. Like some more confidence.

28:32It gave me more skills. I had to overcome fears. I had to overcome myself so much. Yes. And just getting out of there was such a massive accomplishment. I was like, I paid$495 a month in a one bedroom apartment in Columbus, Ohio. And I didn't have a car because the car that I had was$500 and it broke down. So I walked everywhere, but I felt so free because I wasn't sleeping on my sister's couch. I wasn't eating off of her. Yes. I couldn't provide for myself before then. And I felt free, even though I had only I was like, okay, maybe three months, I can do this. I had to figure out how do I do this for a year.

29:05Yes. But it gave me a sense of power gave me a sense of kind of this money momentum that allowed me to keep going. Okay, how do I go to the next level and the next level? And that's a powerful thing. Hey, I've got a quick favor to ask. Will you please review the Marie Forleo podcast on your Apple podcast app? These reviews help more people find the podcast and they let me and Team Forleo know what you're enjoying and what you want more of. So please do us all a favor and leave a review on the Apple podcast app. It would mean the world to me. And now back to the episode. You've talked with some of the greatest minds, business, money, everything in between on your show.

29:47What's the best money habit that you've adopted that you think most people don't practice? There's two that I would say. The first one that we talk about, which is in preparing for more money, there's seven kind of money habits that we talk about. And the first one is the mindset habit. And this might sound a little like cheesy or something, but all the wealthiest people that I've interviewed, and you've interviewed a lot, I've interviewed a lot, I ask them this question. I go, what do you think is the secret to your success in earning more and more money every year and feeling good about it? Yeah.

30:22Because it's one thing to have a lot of money or to be a billionaire. But if you're miserable, I don't want that life. I want to feel financially free and emotionally free with my money. I want to feel joyful and peace and harmony. I don't want to feel trapped as a prisoner with my money. And most of the wealthiest people that I know who've done the work on themselves talk about generosity, generosity and gratitude. And I believe gratitude is the gateway to abundance. And I think generosity is equally is important. And when I first started out early on, before I met you, when I was just trying to figure it out, I was like, how do I get into this industry, this kind of online world, this marketing world, the author space?

31:06I was like, I don't know anyone. I don't have any skills. I don't have a college degree. I can't provide anyone anything. I don't have any money. So I didn't know what I could offer. But what I could offer was my energy and my curiosity. And it's what got me in the door almost everywhere. I would go to these online marketing events and conferences. And I was taking Greyhound buses around the country early on because I couldn't afford flights. And I would show up and I was just like, how do I meet people just excitement, passion. Yeah. And I would meet people. And I would just ask them questions about themselves that I was fascinated about just these kind of like curious, dumb, childlike questions.

31:47And at the end of the night, people were like, you're like the most interesting person here. And I didn't even say anything. I just asked a question and I was present. And I think that presence was power. And those individuals wanted more of that passion, that energy. And they gave me opportunities because I could bring something that they valued. So I had to learn what my value was, what these kind of inner hidden skills were that I didn't even know were skills. And I was very generous with my energy. I was generous with my questions. And I tried to find connections with other people, however I could, to help them.

32:22So this generosity mindset and this gratitude mindset, I think, is something when I ask people, specifically the very wealthy people, a lot of them say how much I give every single year to church, charity, foundations, directly correlates to me earning more that year as well. Almost all the time. It's like probably 90 % of the people I've said, yes, the more I give, the more I earn, whether this year or the next year, it always comes back. And I always think, how do I give more? And I just think that mindset when you're poor, or you have a scarcity mindset, you don't think about giving. You think about, I need to make and save as much as I can.

33:00You don't want to give it away. So it's flipping the mindset when you're in scarcity, when you're month to month, when you're struggling financially, it's not about giving your money away, but what can you give generously from your heart, from your talents that will just help other people. And I think that is the first mindset that people need to, the first habit that people need to think about is that mindset of generosity and gratitude. You don't, it doesn't mean you have to like and fake your situation of like, I love being broken poor. It's not like false liking something that you really don't like, but thinking to yourself, how can I be generous?

33:36How can I make giving? And that energy becomes magnetic and creates opportunities. So that'd be the first one I would say. The other one is one that I think the greatest leaders, you're one of these that has this ability that most people don't have to generate incredible wealth. and it's the mindset of enrollment, the ability to enroll others in your vision, in your dream and really in you. And you've been someone who's been able to build a massive business every single year, just huge launch after huge launch by your excitement and your ability to communicate your vision visually, and audio, text, your newsletter.

34:20and it gets people moved to your vision to want to buy. Whether it's buying or watching or subscribing, the ability to enroll someone in your vision is so powerful and it's something you do so well. Thank you. And that's one of the habits that people can tap into. But that takes time and developing your skills. Well, thank you for that. I also love the focus on no matter what the circumstances are right now or the balance in the bank account, the notion that you, each of us has resources within us of energy, of attention, of curiosity, of compassion, of empathy, all those things don't cost anything.

35:06And I also know how hard it is. Like I remember the moment, there's this one moment when the business had started and again, it wasn't doing well yet. And it was just like me opening my checkbook and it was like a single digit and just like the panic and the shame like all those things that most of us again if you weren't born with a lot of money which is most people that watch the show um you've experienced that and i know it's really hard when you are in fear and scarcity and it's a survival mode it's really difficult to think like you have anything to give or that it does feel impossible so we just want to say that out loud yeah and it is possible.

35:44It's like if you can just get like a tiny little toehold into into just some aspect little wins here and there. Tiny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Little wins. But that habit's called the the magnetic habit. And you don't have to be an extrovert or outgoing to be enrolling. But you have to figure out what your skill is in order to communicate your vision in some way. Yeah. And that could be one to one interactions, one to many, it could be text interactions, audio interactions, but you have to learn how to communicate somehow to someone to get something that you want. Yeah. And the better you get at that magnetic habit, the more your wealth will come.

36:21Okay. Let's get real, real, real, real, real. If we were to go through either your personal finances or your business finances right now, what's something we might find that would surprise people? Something you might find that surprises people is I've invested in whole life insurance for like 15 years for my future kids that I didn't have. My future wife, my future kids back in my 20s, my late 20s. I spent a lot of time getting low premiums and the best rates for my future self. Oh my goodness. When you think that's from dad? 100%. Yes. Because he would always talk about the value and the opportunities from that when I was in my teen years.

37:02So he's like, make sure, you know, when you start making money, put it in a life insurance. So when I was like 26, 27 and whatever it is, when I started making money, I was like, all right, I need a policy for my future self. And whoever's going to be in my family, you know, I just got married a week ago. Wait, it was just last week? A week ago. Oh my God. Congratulations. I need to hug your wife. I haven't seen her in so long. Okay. Yes, yes, yes. I just got married a week ago. And one of the, you know, when I first started dating her with Martha, I was like, open to her about like my money and my finances and really open early on.

37:35and she's very successful and she's done like 40 movies and she's made a lot of wealth herself. So we were open about things early on. And one of the things that I told her is like, listen, if we end up doing this, if we're, you know, the dating phase, I was like, if something ever happens to me, this is how much money you're going to have. And if we have kids, you're automatically going to have that money from just life insurance. And I was like, I've been thinking about you and our future kids 15 years before I met you. and I think that's you know some people they believe or don't believe in life insurance or whatever and it's fine but for me I wanted to think of and it's like you're doing something that you don't get like I'm almost I was almost being generous to my future wife and children that I get nothing in return if I die there's no benefit to me for having life insurance right it's only for someone else so it's the ultimate mindset of generosity yes there's zero benefit to you Now you could use it of like leveraging it or taking out loans or something, but it's not something I think about.

38:35So that'd be one thing. The other thing would be years ago, I created like a foundation for my, like a fund that's a special fund just for nonprofits. And again, I really believe, you know, we've supported a lot of different, the same charities together for many years. Yeah, Petzals of Promise. Petzals of Promise and different water organizations, all these different things. and we were doing this, you know, 13, 14, 15 years ago together, right? And it's something that I'm sure you keep doing and it's something I keep doing. And I just, you know, I created a fund, a foundation within my name that I put money in every year that I have to give away.

39:14And some years I do better than others and I still put money in there. And I just think it's creating that generosity muscle is a good thing. Whether you're making more money or less money, or you have good years or bad years. And which everyone has both. Yeah. And just thinking, how can I be generous? Yeah. And how can I set up things automatically to serve other people? And again, if you're living in scarcity or month to month, you may not be able to think that way. At this moment. At this moment. But if you think, how can I give two hours a month to someone, a friend, you know, or something or my church or charity, whatever of my time.

39:51And you could use your time as money as well, because your time is money. So for me, those are a couple of things that I do that I think are valuable to me. Because at the end of the day, I know you talk all about all this stuff. You know, money is an energy. And I want to feel good with my money. I want to love my money. And I want to love myself fully. And I want to love the money that comes in. And I want to love the money that goes out. Whether it be bills or taxes or charity, all of it, I want to appreciate it. And I used to not appreciate the money that went out. when I was like, why am I spending this much on taxes?

40:25I would complain about money. Why am I spending this on this bill? Why am I spending on this bill? And I realized it just wasn't a good energy. And if I want to have more harmony in my life, I have to have better energy on things that come in and come out. Yeah. And be more relaxed about the things that were coming out. So these were things I had to learn for many years that I struggled with because I didn't have the wisdom and I didn't heal. Yeah. So the online world, as we know, is very full of people selling dreams. and you know I definitely I'll be the first one to say I sell dreams but y 'all know I back my up like you know been around for a long time it works um if you work it what do you feel is the biggest lie about money that people need to stop believing right now I guess the lie you know my the whole premise of my book is make money easy because most people make it hard and I think it doesn't have to feel hard.

41:17It doesn't mean you're not going to do hard work and take consistent actions and show up for yourself and overcome challenges. But it doesn't have to be hard. And I think another thing is people want to make easy money. And I think it's a lie that you can make easy money. I think you can make money easy, but not easy money. Yes. The distinction being like Like investing a hundred grand in crypto and thinking that I'm going to get it back. That's going after easy money. Yes. As opposed to making your money feel easy. Yes. And having a beautiful relationship with it. That's what I mean. Yes. So one, that money has to be hard.

41:58I think that's a lie. And two, that you can make easy money. Yes. Yes. That's kind of like the, do you remember? I feel like especially when you and I, like in those, some of those early days when we and mastermind i think there were so many almost like tropes and memes for lack of a word of like you know do an online business and money's just gonna shoot out of your laptop and you're gonna be like sipping a pina colada on the beach and we're like are you okay like no that ain't real like when people still show up like me can you help me figure out passive income i'm like first thing i'm gonna help you figure out is not passive like ain't nothing ain't really nothing there's nothing that's actually four hours a week also yeah no and you know i love when tim actually says that too he's like read the manual it's not the point yeah yeah um okay another question what do you think is the worst advice you see being repeated in the business world or the personal development world is there anything that like you know what i mean when you hear it you're just like really gosh the advice or maybe it's advice that you've gotten i think the first thing that came to me that i was just feeling is that you can just kind of spiritually bypass your problems like like here's the i don't know for me this like i don't know why it bugs me but it gets it gets in your bikini this one bugs me maybe because i don't understand it enough and i haven't tried it so i don't want to judge too much although i am judgy a little bit who's not we're human when i haven't done something we're human when when you think you can take a drug to heal all your problems psychologically or emotionally.

43:29They're like, oh, I did this drug and now I'm good. Like I had this vision and now like I don't have to worry about my problems ever again. Right. Like you went to do like the frog venom or you did some crazy shit. Any type of drug ceremony. Any type of thing that is a chemical compound that you take from the external world and you try to put it into your world and think. It's going to handle it all. It's going to handle it all and I'm healed. I just think that's really scary advice to think that is the only solution or it's like the quick fix. Again, it's the quick healing fix. It's like make healing easy as opposed to make, you know, make easy healing as opposed to make healing easy.

44:08And my journey towards healing has been a decade plus and it's unlocked new levels of peace, but it doesn't mean it's like it happened overnight and it was just like effortless. It was a consistent journey and it still is yeah and i think realizing that um healing doesn't happen overnight it's a journey and there's no way you can spiritually bypass something from a chemical compound of like years of trauma or wounds yeah i love it it's like lewis getting fired up i don't know why listen no no it's okay we'll we'll come back and like another couple years like oh my god i figured that one out so success in any field comes with hidden costs it always does as you reflect back on your journey because it's been a while now.

44:53Is there any price that you've paid for financial freedom? Something that maybe no one talks about or you're like, God, I wish people would know this. Yeah, the responsibility and the weight. Tell me. The weight of, you know, I'm the youngest of four in my family and I'm financially the most successful, right? So I have the most money in my family. And the weight of hiring team and being responsible for people that you hire now, family challenges, friends, people asking you for money, and learning how to navigate the emotions of money in relationships from co-founders to team members to family to friends to people asking for money on the street, whatever it might be.

45:39And learning how to navigate the emotional weight of you setting yourself up financially and other people wanting something from you. and just really how to create boundaries there, how to have conscious conversations there that are very challenging sometimes with people and learning how to navigate all that stuff. I think everyone thinks money will solve all your problems and it will only amplify the problems you have yet to deal with. And if you haven't had the courageous conversation and relationships, money's going to amplify that pain or that insecurity or that fear, and it's going to trigger you even more.

46:15So it's really allowed me to, it was hard for many years. And in the last three or four years, it's really allowed me to step up and be more courageous in relationships with everyone. So I don't hold on to resentments anymore. And it doesn't mean everyone's going to like what you say, or if you want to create new agreements with someone, people may not like that because they're used to the way you've shown up. So it's learning how to navigate the emotional a weight of success. And there's three big fears that most people have that causes them to doubt themselves in life. The first one is the fear of failure.

46:52The second one is the fear of success. And the third is the fear of judgment, other people's opinions. And when I ask people, what are you afraid of? Or have you ever been afraid of the fear of failure? Most people in a room will raise their hand. But I say, how many of you are afraid of the fear of success? and a lot of people raised their hand as well almost equal amount of people say i'm afraid of success and it never made sense to me because it's what i always wanted growing up i was like i want to be successful that was just like the dream but it started to make sense there's an amazing documentary called the weight of gold which is about olympians who go their whole lives chasing success and then they get the gold medal and they go through extreme depression or sadness they don't know how to handle success.

47:39And a lot of people suffer immensely with it, if you haven't been trained on how to navigate it, this emotional weight. So for me, I think a lot of people don't understand the weight of success that you have to learn how to manage it. And I know you've had to learn how to do this too. Like, Oh, I'm still learning. Exactly. But it's like, people want everything from you. They expect something from you. They get judgy of you. If you don't give them something like they'll get mad at you. It's just navigating the emotional a weight of success yeah i think it becomes um a discerning tool of like well who can you trust and who actually likes you as a human for you yeah yeah who doesn't want anything from you you know and i i always think like that's the value like that's why i love that we've known each other for so long because it's you know when you know folks before before yeah you know what i mean you're just like oh i like them as a human yeah because they're like a great human not because of what they can do for me or you know whatever you don't need something from them correct you Just hang out.

48:35Yes. And be realty. Okay. So two part question here. As we know, for all of us, there's a big gap between knowing what to do with our money and then actually doing it. So what do you think stops people from taking action? And what would be the first immediate action step? Like if someone's watching us and being like, they're fired up. You know what I mean? Like, they're like, I know I can handle this, but Lewis, tell me what to do. Sure, sure. Like, what do I do first? So what stops people and then what action step could they take, especially if there's somebody that's living paycheck to paycheck?

49:09You know what I mean? They've been caught in a cycle. I think, well, the first thing would be to understand kind of the money traps that are blocking your abundance. And one of them is money wounds. So reflecting and journaling on your money wounds. Actually, if you're watching or listening to this, I would want you to, the first step is to send this link to one of your best friends or someone in your life that you care about and say, hey, I would love to have a discussion about our money wounds together. Because most people don't talk about their wounds. We feel afraid to talk about our insecurities around money.

49:40So the first thing is to understand your money wounds and just say, hey, what are some things that you thought of growing up about money? What were the beliefs? What were the things that you went through? and just have a discussion or at least journal about it yourself. That'd be the first thing. Number two is kind of understanding your money beliefs. What are the words you're using around money? And is it supporting you and serving you and getting past the current situation you are? Your beliefs dictate your behavior. So you have to really analyze where did you get that belief from? And are you able to start shifting that belief little by little?

50:12So understanding your money beliefs and kind of writing those things down as well. The third thing, we kind of mentioned this already, is creating a money mission. What is the mission you have for this season of life? I try to simplify things into a few months if you feel really stuck. Like, what can I do this week as my money mission? What can I do in the next three months? Okay, I'm going to have a game plan every day for a few months. Or what can I do through the end of the year for my money mission? Start there to get you on a journey. And it might be as simple as I'm going to dive deeper into learning more about money.

50:45I'm going to get a money mentor, all these different things. The fourth one is having money mentors, because most of us have our parents and our peers that tell us what to do with money, but they don't know what they're doing. You know, they really don't. Even people in Wall Street may not know what they're doing. Yeah. They know an element of money, but they don't know what's best for you. It's start finding money mentors, reading books, listening to the podcast or finding the YouTube channels that can support you with your next step. because me giving you advice on what to do doesn't make sense unless you can figure out what your next step is for your current situation.

51:21So far, I found mentors early on when I was done playing football and injured, I had no clue what I was going to do with my life. And I started to just analyze, well, how can I make my life like a sport? I understand sports. If I'm going to be the athlete, what does an athlete need? An athlete needs a coach. And in every sport, when you're playing, there's a season. And every season, you create a goal. So I need to find a coach. And those were money mentors early on people that just knew a little bit more than me, at least. And if you can start seeking out those money mentors, whether it be in your local community, start asking people, you know, who's the wealthiest person, you know, can I meet with them, just starting to ask them questions that you probably never had the courage to ask.

52:05And then the fifth thing is, you mentioned it, is kind of stacking up these wins. People lack money momentum, them. They just feel stuck. They feel trapped. They feel clueless. Where do I start? Starting to stack little wins, whether it's I'm going to automate saving$50 a month in an account, like starting that small win to support you up for success. Those are the main traps that hold us back from our abundance. I love that. We were with them. I've talked about this a lot on the show. My parents have been going through, it's just been hell in my family life for a while. I'm dealing with it, but you know, it's, it's a lot.

52:41And I homes and all care. Assisted living, like mom and dad both took a bad, you know, just declined immediately together. I read about it in New Zealand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a lot. Anywho, I was like back home in Jersey. I think it was just like two weeks ago or so. And I have to say small action, big reward. So sitting there and my parents, God bless them. Like, but it's chaos, right? It's just, it's chaos. And like my mom's, you know, she's shuffling around. She's like, redo this. And then my dad's, you know, putting stuff in front of my face. And my brother's over there. I'm like, everybody, I'm like, y 'all got to sit down.

53:14I was like, I know what I'm doing. Sit down. But I said, Ronnie, who's my brother. I was like, I want you to call basically like the cable company. And I said, I know they're being overcharged. Like, and I just, and then like 15 minutes, he negotiated back down, you know, just an overcharge of internet and dish or whatever. And it sounds silly, but it's like such a little empowering step. It's a big win though. It is. And when you take like a bill that is 120 a month or whatever it is, especially for older folks who are on a fixed income and got their challenges. And you get that back down at like 40 bucks.

53:49Like I'm doing cartwheels. You know what I mean? Huge win. Huge win. So these don't have to be big wins. like these tiny little steps where you start to feel empowered and you start to have the courage to ask questions, to negotiate, to get that, your amazing book, to listen to some podcasts, like just to get that education and get yourself on that money journey. I remember early on, I started making money. First, it was like, how do I make money? But then I still didn't understand money when I had it. I was like, now what do I do with it? Right. And I remember I still had like, I don't know, it was 18 or 20 ,000 in student debt.

54:23and I remember I don't understand money still. I'm getting the courage on how to make it and I'm getting some momentum there but now what do I do? And I literally, this is around the time when I saw Ramit Sethi's book, I Will Teach You To Be Rich. Go Ramit, love you. And I've told him this many times. I'm like, dude, you got me out of college debt. You helped me pay off all my debts. There was like a simple six-step plan on how to like pay off your debt that I just literally followed it 100%. Within like five or six months, I was debt free from college loans. Yes. And it felt so empowering, but I didn't know the steps from my current situation.

54:59Yeah. So I think it's understanding your current situation, tactically what steps you need to take there. That's another great book. His podcast is free. It's another great thing as well. I'm more about figuring out the emotional steps that we need to take. Yeah, totally. Because you can make more money, but still feel like a prisoner to it. Totally. If you feel scarce. Yep. And that's not joy. That's not fulfillment. That's not a rich life. Yeah. You want to feel wealthy internally and you want to feel free and you can have all the money in the world and still not feel free. Correctamundo. So, um, what do you think the number one thing we need to know about changing our relationship with money for the better is?

55:41Should we just like, I think people should take my advice and French kiss it. Or even just at least hug it. Do you know what I mean? And just give it a hug. I think the number one advice that people should be taking on money is you need to be thinking, how do I get to a secure relationship with money as fast as possible? In the book, I have an assessment to see kind of your money personality style. And it's like, there's no right or wrong, good or bad style. It's just an assessment to see where you're at and ask yourself, is this helping me at the highest level feel peace internally with money?

56:14And if I have an insecure relationship with money, a fearful relationship with money, I need to figure out whatever it is within me that's going to support me in my healing journey so I feel emotionally free with my relationship with money. That when it comes to me, I'm grateful. When it leaves me, I'm okay. That when I have it, I'm not hoarding it and holding on to it. When I don't have it, I'm not a needy boyfriend or girlfriend needing attention constantly. But I have a secure relationship with it. That I have my arms open, my hands open with money, that it can come to me and it can flow to me.

56:49And it's starting to shift your inner dialogue around money. I interviewed Ken Honda a couple of times. I don't know if you're aware of him. He's got a great book called Happy Money. It's about the Japanese art of having peace with your money. Sold 10 million copies. And Ken told me that every time he gets money, he says thank you. Yes. Internally. Or he might say thank you to the money as well. But he says thank you. Whether it's payments coming in his bank account, he'll open it up and he'll see the payment. He says, thank you. If someone's handing him money, he thinks, thank you. He's grateful when money comes in.

57:24And he's grateful when money comes or leaves as well. He said, thank you for being here. Where do you want to go? Do you want to go in my bank account? Do you want me to give you away? Do you want me to donate you? Do you want me to spend it on something for my pleasure? Do you want me to invest you? Where do you want to go? So he directs it somewhere when it comes in. It doesn't just keep it and hoard it and he's not afraid of it. And I think it's changing our inner dialogue with money first will set you up for so much success and freedom. And the goal is to create freedom with money, with the money you don't have, the money you have, the money you're going to make.

58:00It's to have a beautiful, flourishing relationship. Like you said, if money came in, you'd give it a French kiss, hug it. And if it left, you'd say, have a great day. Totally. You're not like, don't, don't leave me. Right. You're like, hey, have a great day. I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah. And if we could have that at every level and stage of our money journey, it will be a more rich life. And that's what I want people to know. I love it. I have this crazy little habit that I do. A couple things. One is every time, like, you don't sign as many checks anymore, but this was before everything got electronic.

58:34I would always say there's always more where that came from when it goes out the door. That's beautiful. You know, like there's always more where that came from. and I still do this to this day, and people think I'm nuts, but I'm walking around New York City. Finding money everywhere. I find money. Everywhere. And I pick it up. Me too. I did today. I never say, this is the mantra, I never say no to honest money. I was like, oh, you want to be with me. I don't care if it's a penny. I don't care if it's whatever, if I'm on the beat. You know what I mean? I was like, woo! If there's nobody around, and it's clearly, you know what I mean?

59:06It's not like somebody didn't just know. Yeah, you know, like, oh, they just dropped it and you took it. No, I give it back. But if it's just hanging out, it's like wants to be with mama. I'm like, I'll take it. Absolutely. I'm going to take care of you, baby. And say, thank you for coming to me freely and abundantly. You know, it's like, what's your money mantra? What did you say it was before? Oh, there's always more where that came from. That's beautiful. I love money. You know, and again, I love money. And, and I think money loves me. Oh, yes, it does. Yes, it does. But imagine saying to yourself, your internal dialogue is, I don't like money.

59:33I don't like people with money. I'm resentful of that person. How does she get that money? How did they get this thing? like if you have that inner dialogue, why would money come to you? Why would money love you? Well, I also think too, I mean, my, I remember I had to navigate speaking to my parents again, God bless them. I love them to pieces and they drive me fricking bonkers. Like most people's family do. We got it all in one, one nice big bowl of mishmash. And I remember like my mom, my mom can be, she's still alive. God bless her. I hope she stays alive for a while. We're trying to keep that going.

1:00:03But there's been a couple of times where she rough, like she can, you know, she could say some things and there's been like a couple of daggers in the rich zone do you know what i mean when we've had some and it's like really of her towards you oh yeah but then when it's you know what i mean and it's like oh okay that's what you're thinking um but i know how she grew up yeah she grew up in poverty you know her money absolutely doesn't make it right what she says you gotta create boundaries sometimes yeah that's all right i just i'm i'm like matrix I'm pro-leveling. It doesn't hit you. No, no, no, not anymore.

1:00:37It used to, but, but my point is that I think for so many of us, some of those messages, and again, I'm not judging my parents or make them wrong. Um, it's like, cause they were taught that, you know, and they were taught that money story. Absolutely. And it was handed down and handed down. So no one's at fault, but to your point, it's like, okay, you know, the, the negative toxic relationship needs to stop somewhere and he stopped with you. So it's like, yeah. And I, and I think you're, you know, I don't know your exact mission if there's a one statement, but I, I know your essence of your mission is to help people and to be of service and to help people be free in their business and also free in their life and feel better in their relationship to themselves and to others.

1:01:20And that's the whole thing that I want people to know is like money doesn't have to be hard. Money can be easy and it starts with your relationship with it. And that's the key. This is such a fun, fun, fun, amazing book. Congratulations. Thank you. Congratulations on the wedding. Thank you. I can't wait to see those pictures. It's my ring, you know? Yeah. It's gorgeous. I have so many questions. We're going to talk about that offline. Everybody, you need to get Lewis's new book. He gave me a little gift money, which I always say yes to. It's fantastic. Make money easy. Lewis, this is wonderful.

1:01:53Thank you for making the time to come on. Thanks for having me. I appreciate you.

1:01:59Hey there. Are you looking for the next Marie Forleo podcast? Well, you'll just have to wait a wee bit longer because I'm about to send out some exclusive content to my MF insiders. Those are my email subscribers who get some behind the scenes access to what I'm thinking about, what I'm obsessing over, what I'm focusing on or learning in real time. And I got to be honest, I like to throw in some freebies and giveaways too, because those are fun. Now, our emails are infrequent, usually just once a week, and I do my best to keep them short and inspiring. And I'm proud that we have stacks of unsolicited feedback from insiders like Caitlin, who said, I don't think I've ever subscribed to something and secretly wished there were more emails.

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