486 - The Secret to Staying Motivated — Especially When You're Not Seeing Results

0:00Marie Forleo:If you can't seem to get motivated because your hard work never pays off, this episode is for you. Today's question comes from Chris and he writes, Hey Marie, I'm 19 years old and here's my dilemma. I have a massive lack of motivation to do anything or really live my life. I look deep within myself for answers and see that I've always felt no matter what I attempt to do, my hard work never, in all caps, pays off. School, volleyball, work, even friendships, it never seems to be enough. I now realize hard work isn't enough, so I want to know, what is? What can I do to re-motivate myself and make my hard work smart work?

0:41How can I make my efforts count so I can live a meaningful, fulfilling life? Thank you for everything that you do. The beauty in your soul transcends my small computer screen, and no amount of words will ever be enough for me to express my appreciation to you. With love, Chris.

0:58Marie Forleo:Chris, I adore you. And not just for that really sweet and poetic thing you just shared with me. I gotta tell you, it is beyond awesome that you are so self-aware, self-aware enough to really ask these important questions at this point in your life. While there's so much we could talk about today, I wanna focus on one important shift that you can make that if you really do it, Chris, and you make it a habit, it can change everything. First, you will instantly start to experience more of that meaning and fulfillment that you've been craving. Second, that motivation and excitement for life, that's gonna come flooding back to you.

1:38Marie Forleo:And third, this approach will give you the best possible chance of ensuring that your hard work will actually pay off. Now, while it can't guarantee results, because honestly nothing can, it does give you the best possible chance of creating them. Here's the habit. But if you want lasting motivation, you've gotta focus on the action itself, not the outcome. Now, it doesn't matter whether this is about school or work or sports or relationships. Moving forward, Chris, here's what you gotta do. You have to consciously shift your attention to the action you're taking instead of the outcome or the result that you're trying to achieve.

2:17Marie Forleo:In other words, start giving your full attention to the present moment, to the actual process itself, not the end goal. This is both a spiritually satisfying way to approach your life and it'll give you the best chance to get that payoff that you're looking for. In fact, there is some research to back this up. It shows that this one habit can help you stay genuinely motivated and experience that meaning and fulfillment that you're lacking right now. Here's a quick summary of the science. Two researchers, Fischbach and Choi, from the University of Chicago and Korea Business School conducted a study with over 100 students working out at the gym.

2:55They divided the students up and one group was told to describe and focus on their end goal, like losing weight. The other group was told to describe and focus on the process itself – warming up, stretching, running on the treadmill. Both groups were told to keep that same focus throughout their entire workout. Now check out the result. The end goal focus group actually ran for less time than the process focus group – 34 24 minutes versus 43 minutes. And this is what's relevant to you, Kris. The goal group reported that the workout felt like more of an effort compared to the process group who found the experience itself more enjoyable.

3:33Marie Forleo:Then they repeated this process with things like doing origami and flossing your teeth and the results were consistent. If what you're looking for is lasting motivation, meaning, and fulfillment, you have got to focus your attention on the actions you're taking, not the end goal. You know, high performance athletes and sports psychologists, they have known about this and they've practiced it for eons, right? Once you're clear on your goal, they all talk about the fact that if you really want to win, you have to train yourself to engage fully in the present moment and really get into that state of flow.

4:07Marie Forleo:So this is your mission, Chris, if you choose to accept it. It'll make a tremendous difference in both how you feel and what you achieve for the rest of your life. Now, two more quick notes before we wrap up. Number one, you gotta commit to being a lifelong learner and ask for feedback from people that you trust and respect. Because who knows, Chris? I mean, maybe there is stuff that you're doing that you could actually improve. For example, you might want to ask your soccer coach if he or she has any feedback for you that can help your performance on the field. There is always another level of mastery to reach in any area of life, so be proactive and get the feedback that you need to keep on growing.

4:48Marie Forleo:Number two, whenever you feel down and demotivated, I want you to do this. You gotta help somebody else. Just take a look around and ask yourself, who might need a little encouragement or some support or some appreciation? I mean, is it a family member or a friend or someone in your community? It doesn't have to be some huge monumental act, just something simple from your heart and you've got a big one. I mean, one of the best ways to stay rooted in your own happiness is to help someone else experience their own. So let's wrap this one up with a reminder of this week's key habit, and yes, it's also our tweetable.

5:28The secret to staying motivated. Focus on what you're doing, not what you're trying to achieve.

5:35Marie Forleo:Hey, if you want to write faster and make more sales, you gotta grab my free seven-day writing class from the link in the description. Every lesson covers a simple but powerful technique to help you write words that make people want to whip out their credit cards and give you money. Go to marielovesyou.com slash free writing class and get instant access to lesson one. Or if you're watching this episode on video, just scan the onscreen QR code right now.