Craig Doyle on playing with Maradona, presenting with Holly Willoughby, and THAT viral Geoff Parling video!

0:00The Mario Rosenstock podcast. Thanks to HUM. Finance made easy when you shop tech, electrical, appliances, kitchens and much more. Flexify Europe Limited, trading as HUM is regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland. Coming up on this episode of the Mario Rosenstock podcast. Then I was there during the whole Philip Schofield thing and I saw what that did to people and people who had worked with him for years and they felt betrayed, I guess, in certain ways. And there was a lot of heartache and then a lot of concern and worry. When Phil then left, I worked with Holly Willoughby a lot. And the stress on her is like, I've never seen anything like it in my life.

0:41Oh, my. She was trembling, you know, and I just thought, ah, they're all taking this too seriously. and I just said to them all I said whoa whoa you all need to chill out this is just a TV show

0:59Hey everybody thanks for all your great comments during the week about the first part of the Craig Doyle episode I don't think it's what people were expecting and I think Craig has happily surprised people with how forthcoming he is and what an interesting career he's had and the ups and downs when he joined me in the Go Loud studio recently, we ended up chatting for well over an hour and a half and decided to split it up into two episodes because Craig has worked on a lot of high profile TV shows with a lot of, you know, famous people and he's got some great stories to share. He's worked in various different sides of the industry, sport, you know, the entertainment side.

1:33He's really good when he fills in on ITV this morning, which he did last week as well. I watched him talking to Boys Zone. This is part two of our chat and we've kept some of the best stories for this episode. Craig talks about how ITVs this morning survived the Philip Schofield saga. The time he played football with Diego Maradona. The great Diego Maradona, who we both agree is the greatest player of all time. And that's a bizarre story. Brilliant, though. It wouldn't happen really nowadays. And many other top players that he played with as well in that kind of charity exhibition match in front of like 60 ,000 people.

2:06The Jeff Parling video, viral video, in which Craig played an unfortunate starring role and became viral. And lots more. And I walk towards Jeff so I'll just intercept. I put the face on him and went oh no we've got a problem here I can't let him get to Liam it's his first day in rugby so I just go would you sign him Jeff and he goes it's not fucking on get off my pitch and pushes me we had 3 million views by that night apparently and I was mortified who was beside me Lothar Matthias Marcel Desailly Garrett Thomas world team midfield David Ginola Gianfranco Zola Gordon Ramsay up front and Maradona Diego on your team So the world's sitting there, right?

2:46And I'm like, I don't want to be selected to start this game. And then he goes into property development meetings. He goes, so, Mr. Ronan, we'd like to know what your thing is with this 65-story building. And he's there. It's amazing how you can speak right. What's happening, Johnny? He has turned into Johnny Ronan Keating. What's that part of the building? It's a roller coaster. We got so many lovely messages about last week's episode with Craig And I can say with some confidence that this part is even better And it's coming right up But first, some messages, some more messages From some fans of last week's episode Hi, you've reached the Mario Rosenstock Podcast Please leave a message Yeah, obviously, how's it going?

3:31It's Roy Keane here Message for Craig Doyle Obviously, I just watched the Jeff Tarling video I couldn't believe my eyes How could you let him shove you like that and do nothing? He did nothing. He just turned your back on him and walked away. I would have picked him up and kicked him over the bar myself. And a few of his players too, for good measure. You said last week that you're not some sort of posh D4 lad. Huh? That you got a bit of lower class grit in your veins. Well, show it. Show up. Let's see it. Let's see the fight. I'm not so sure now watching that video. Man up, will you, for God's sake.

4:04Hello, message for... This is Patrick Healty, by the way. Message for Craig Doyle. Craig, you've popped up a few times on Irish podcasts and media recently. Is that your way of pitching for the Late Late Show gig? Does a little birdie know something that I don't know? I haven't a bloody clue what's happening on my contract. So if you do end up getting it, here's a few tips. Lows and noughties on the show and every week has to be a special. Just a tip. Good luck. Hiya, Craig. It's Brendan O 'Connor here. Listen, very moved by last week's episode. Yeah, come here. I'm guilty of thinking you were a bit of a posh Black Rock kind of head there, you know.

4:45You've done good. Do you want to come on the show this weekend and talk about your own personal trauma? I can kind of string it out of you way better than the Mario does. So talk about your harrowing working class childhood, never having enough to eat, maybe a bit of starvation involved, roaming around the streets, shoeless, homeless. You know, maybe there was no water or anything, spending your life in and out of mental health hospitals. prison, that kind of thing. And obviously the impact on your mental health. Clearly you're, you know, you have a lot of trauma. Okay. Come here. Thanks. And exclusive new comedy every week on the Mario Rosenstock podcast.

5:23Please get in touch with me. MarioRosenstock at gmail.com Tell me of any new characters you'd like me to do. Any new guests that you'd like me to interview. And constructive criticism are just downright old-fashioned praise. And of course, my thanks to you. Get in touch, of course. mariorosenstock at gmail.com Please follow us, like us and subscribe. That's all you can do. Tell one other person about this podcast if you like it. Because we don't charge. It's not premium. And we go out of our way to bring you these episodes every week. Thanks, of course, to our great sponsor, Hum Finance. And what about this great weather we've been having?

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6:30And we're delighted to have Hum on board as sponsors. Great to see Hum become involved in the whole podcasting industry as a whole, not just the Mario Rosenstock podcast. And if you want to be sure to get new episodes straight into your inbox, thanks to HUM, please press the follow button on Apple or Spotify or wherever the platform you're listening on. It's just a click of a button for you, but it's a big deal for us and really helps us grow this show and keep it on the road. Okay, so it's time to join Craig Doyle again for the second part of our conversation. At the end of the last episode, we had started talking about his TV presenting career and what it is about him that made him so popular with UK audiences and still does.

7:07So we'll pick it up from there. You also, people have identified that you've got a bit of a talent as well for that thing that's really, really hard to do on TV. What are you going to say? The thing that's really hard to do on TV, which is look as if you're doing nothing. Just sit there and have the crack. And so that's why when you got to do the ITV thing. Yeah, this morning. So like this morning is like watched by millions of people, right? and you've often been asked to sit in on the couch with people like Alison Hammond and stuff like that. I'm on next week actually. Are you? Yeah. And you're brilliant at it because I suppose from a Brit point of view he's like the good looking sort of bit of a cheeky chappy Irish guy but with a sense of humour.

7:49A sense of humour. We like the Irish. Yeah. And so you could... They're no threat. We like the Irish. They're no threat. No but we like the Irish especially you because you're kind of you're humble you're up for a game for a laugh you'll kind of chat away you're not stupid So, you know, there's a sense of wit there. I just look stupid. No, you don't. There's a sense of wit there. So that's not easy to do and you pull it off. It's great. I don't take it seriously, Mario. I don't. Maybe that's why it works. I just don't take it seriously. I see, you know, this morning I used to do bits and bobs and then I was there during the whole Philip Schofield thing.

8:24And I saw what that did to people and people who had worked with him for years. and, you know, they felt betrayed, I guess, in certain ways. And there was a lot of heartache and then a lot of concern and worry and people just falling apart in the program, getting ripped apart in the press every single day about the pressure they were under. And then Holly, when Phil then left, I worked with Holly Willoughby a lot. And, like, the stress on her is, like, I've never seen anything like it in my life. Oh, my, she was trembling, you know, And I just thought, she's such a nice person and a sweet person.

9:01And we got on great. And I just thought, ah, they're all taking this too seriously. And I just said to them all, I said, whoa, whoa, you all need to chill out. This is just a TV show. And I said, but there's people at home who maybe can't get out of their beds or stuck to their sofas all day who rely on you guys. Okay, you're their wallpaper during the day. You give them a bit of joy. So you're going to have to forget about what you're worrying about and just think about them and let's have a good time. and I blasted the Bee Gees. I remember I got a speaker. I blasted the Bee Gees on it and I had everyone dancing around in the dressing room and the office was right beside it and I said, this is what we're doing when I'm here.

9:35And I've been like that ever since. I just go in and cause absolute havoc. They had to get rid of, they had to get rid of a dog. They got a dog in, right? They got a resident dog in. It's a beautiful dog. And this dog was going to be the This Morning dog. And they had a trainer who would come on and go, and what we're doing with Barney, is we're going to train him to sit. And even when things are happening and there's alarms outside, he's going to sit and be good. And Barney was being trained beautifully. But I got to know Barney and I'd go, can I talk to Barney for a little while I take him out of his cage?

10:08And I taught him how to be a dog, right? So I'd come on the show. He'd be with the others for like a week. And then I'd come on and he'd be like, going wild. I mean, come on the show and I'd have him on the lead beside me. I remember doing this. I said good morning hello welcome to your Mondays this morning I'm with whoever it is Emma Willis today or whoever it is or whoever it was I said we're going to have Barney's with us today and I just bend down a clip off the lead and I go let's go Barney and I would just take off around the studio and at one stage he ran around a lap of the sofa you know the famous blue sofa and I'm on the other side you know doing this thing and he leaps over the sofa into a table there's carnage it's like I'm loving it very good Barney didn't work again oh boy No more this morning dog So too He's gone too wild You made him go too wild The trainer apparently Was going crazy So I try and bring that To it And it's really good I mean it's really difficult to do Because you have to In a sense not work You have to tell yourself I'm not working here I'm just messing Yeah And that's really hard to do But you then Like you'd be doing that And next thing you know I remember sitting there You're doing a thing about Pavlova Or you know Why you shouldn't wash your toes Or whatever the hell it was And next up it's the Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and next time I'm having a row with Rishi Sunak about immigration and then I go after the break should you apply sun cream to your bum hole or whatever the hell it is like I don't you know it's just like it was such a mad show England is different to Ireland don't you think I mean just the way you were doing the impression there of oh I don't know just a Barney or something I mean it's different isn't it I mean you could argue maybe you might argue it isn't but to me What do you see as the difference?

11:52And I'll see if you're right. All right. Well, one thing that's unescapable is it's much, much bigger. So in a way, you've got to be more broad brushstrokes in a way. You've got to be. Well, London is 10 million people. So you've got to be careful. Not careful is one word, but whatever way you express yourself has got to be understood by a lot of people at the same time. so you know if somebody says something and you laugh and the laugh is genuine that tells a thousand words everybody can see that on television going oh your man is digging it he likes it right whereas in Ireland I think you can be far more you can say things which only a few more people a few people will understand but because we're such a small audience so in a sense you have to in a way just broaden yourself so much but be careful not to try and be dull Yeah I suppose It's hard to explain actually It's I actually found working in England on TV I find it much easier than on Ireland It didn't work for me in Ireland I tried it for a year It didn't work Well stop there for a minute because this is what I want to go If I'm in the business and I'm Mario TV executive and I'm an executive producer of a huge station I'm going Okay well one of the people On my list here is Craig Doyle Clearly a talent 25 years of experience At the top level In Britain Presented Grandstand Presented the Olympics TNT Rugby And all this sort of stuff Has his own production company He's Irish In Lakelands And he doesn't even have An English accent In fact he holds on To his Irish accent As far as I can see As much as possible So What do you think it is About Ireland I mean you did a lot of work In Ireland You did a lot of work You did Craig Doyle live You did a programme called Social You did the panel but what is your relationship with Ireland?

13:43Well the panel would have been the only successful show out of those three and I loved it because I wasn't trying to be a comedian but I was able to join in which and it's important like when I talk to you like Mario we meet sometimes in the morning and we cry laughing for half an hour and we go on our way I mean the last time I met you the last time I met you we were having a coffee and I was with my wife and you were with your daughter and we just got talking and then we invented this weird world I still laugh about it where Rowan and Keating and Johnny Rowan become the same person Johnny Rowan yeah so it becomes Johnny Rowan and Keating and you did an impression of this new person we made I had this thing that Johnny Rowan the property developer has an overdose of gamma radiation in a scientific laboratory and when he starts freaking out and the music goes Johnny Ronan Irish property developer has an overdose of gamma radiation he uncontrollably turns in to international singing sensation Ronan Keating and becomes Johnny Ronan Keating and then he goes into property development meetings he goes so Mr Ronan we'd like to know what your thing is with this 65 story building and he's there it's amazing how you can't be right what's happening Johnny he's turned into Johnny Ronan Keating what's that part of the building it's a roller coaster but we I mean we laugh so much but you know you like Johnny Rolling cleaning stuff you know I you know it's different you're hilarious I can tag on and add in my little bit here and there with the panel I learnt that there's great comedians on there and they're really great joy live so what I think I try too hard you try too hard I think I try too hard pushing too hard going what am I here am I entertaining these people am I the entertainer I'd never done any studio shows with an audience prior to those two shows and you work a studio very very different actually put me in that space now and it'd be a different I've learnt but it's taken me like that's that must be 14 years ago I was about 2010 2011 15 years ago 15 years ago so in the 15 years since I've done a lot more studio with audiences I've learnt how to do that and it's very as you know working room is very nuanced and you know it's very different where I was like be funny and it wasn't for me so and I think once you do that I mean absolutely working a room working a room with an audience is much different I mean if you want to know how difficult it is for somebody who's a seasoned pro watch Ryan Tuberty's first Rose of Tralee and you'll know and you'll know how dangerous it is so it goes the Rose of Tralee oh do you welcome please Ryan Tuberty what's her name Marjorie I'm funnier than you shut up give me a ring I like dogs what a wonderful life Jimmy Stewart have you heard my impression get off the stage Miss Longford what's your name oh my god and you're just there Jesus Christ shut up man shut up man whereas Dahi comes on Dahi comes on and he goes oh yeah and she goes well take it away and then she goes well Dahi I'm sure you are and that's what you want well you learn you learn to be a conduit for other people and that's the big thing so So Craig Doyle Live didn't really You were pushing it I had good crack I tell you what Do you remember the show that won out Do you remember the show that got the show After that Yeah It was Brendan O 'Connor It was a peculiar chat show Yeah That actually kind of And this is why I'm saying Ireland Made by an in-house company Rather than So there was The rumour always was That I was too like Ryan Yes And they were always going to have to go But do you know The most important thing And here's the subplot to that The thing about Before you say that The thing about the Brendan O 'Connor show Is this is why I mean about Ireland if the Brendan O 'Connor show had been put on in England, they would have immediately gone, I'm sorry, mate, that's not working.

17:40No, you're not going on next week. Yeah. Oh, yeah, gone. Right? You know, your head is too big. It's too weird as well, mate. It's too fucking weird, right? I'll be honest with you. Where's your positive energy? No, man, it's just too fucking weird, right? Because it would come on and go, Hello and welcome to the show. Come here. Did you hear about Pussy Riot? Did you? I have Pussy Riot on the couch here. and they speak Russian and come here what's your name Valga Veclova yeah and she's there right I don't know what she's saying now but it's really weird long pause so come here Putin yeah oh she's walked off I don't know what's happening here I mean it was like a bad episode of Alan Partridge but my point was it connected with people because Brendan is a very intelligent man and you can't you can't sort of take that away from him he's an intelligent fella he is kind of got a comic sensibility as well but what he was going for was a slight edgy thing and he later presented a programme called Cutting Edge which was brilliant an RTL which was kind of good so he tries to go for the edgy thing and it was a bit edgy and great on radio great on radio it was a bit weird the whole programme but it kind of connected because I mean after that he'd go no ladies and gentlemen Linda Martin singing stay on up all night to get lucky and you're there no I don't know if I'm ready for this I mean I think maybe you know Ireland is not Dublin and when you're just because you're making your TV in Dublin you still have to Was there a sense, do you think, I mean, try and be honest with me if you can, was there a sense that maybe some people thought, ah, here's your man Craig now over from England.

19:09100%. Yeah, yeah, 100%. I had my way of doing things as well. And I like to do them that way. And I was trained as a journalist and I did my early days all with the BBC and you have a way of doing everything. And it probably didn't suit the way other people wants to do it. But there was no friction. I know that. It just didn't. I mean it just didn't work Yeah But like It just didn't work for Millions of all of us Over here as well Sometimes it works Sometimes it doesn't And like if I did it now Would it be better? Yeah It'd be different I'd be Because I'm different now But the best thing about it was My Where I lived in Lakelands My garden Was right beside a guy Called Marco Sullivan Sully Still my buddy Great lad And the garden That was the house there And then the garden next to us Was my other mate Chibber Joe Chibby Now, Joe Chibbe was a brilliant musician, still is, unbelievably musician.

20:04And he was bunking off school when he was 16 to deputise in the Irish Symphony Orchestra on a Friday, right, to play in the double bass. He was a brilliant musician. And we used to, when we were younger, we were like, wouldn't it be cool if you had a TV show like those American TV shows and you had a band and we were the band. So when I got approached about doing the show, I said, I don't know I want to expose myself to that I quite like I can walk around Dublin and not have to chat about TV you know what I mean it's quite nice but I said if I can have my own band I'll do it so they went okay you can have your own band so Joe Chibi and I my mate since I was two years old formed our own band so we used to start the show with me playing the drums and they sang a theme to you and I'd go and I'd walk off and start the show so no matter what happens we did that no matter what happens we did that so I've no regrets I learned how to do things I learned that England is where I work here's where I live and I like it that way yep okay you played football with Maradona I did he's my favourite player ever he is the greatest and there's nobody that can tell me otherwise and I'm not even listening to it because there's no other well who's better there are arguments Messi no but we talked earlier about the impact of a player on the world and you know there are murals all around the world of Maradona on things so it was the first soccer aid and I get asked would I play for the rest of the world in this soccer it's still the maddest thing that ever happened it is really isn't it in my life now bear in mind I play sport I'm not good at sport and I look like I want you to picture Phoebe in Friends when she's running that's how I play sport no matter what the sport that's it's that I can I could always like I remember my mate saying to me I'd be doing keepy uppies and flicking the ball around and doing all this stuff with the ball and they go how can he do all these skillful things but still look so shit do you know what I mean because it's the awkwardness and that big arse anyway I get asked to do this thing and I I'm brought to a hotel in Chelsea I'm not told anything who's going to be on nothing and I meet Ben Johnson the shamed Canadian sprinter and we go and have dinner together keep remember the name of the anabolic steroid it was I do I'll give it to you go on Stanisola Stanisola I remember the press conference Des Lynam was given a piece of paper you remember yeah I do I've just been handed a piece of paper and if this is correct it'll be one of the biggest stories ever to happen in an Olympics so I have dinner with Ben Johnson who just keeps going give me more lamb give me more lamb racks of lamb racks of lamb we go to the first training session and it's just it's insane and with just all these incredible people and it turns out Maradona is joining us in the final few days two weeks in camp and it was insane and the team is selected live on ITV television on the Friday night before the match on Saturday which was in Old Trafford which was a sellout to celebrate the new stand being open 74 ,500 people Ruud Hullitz the manager and he goes alright can you do a Dutch give me a Dutch now it's very good and Craig Doyle yes they get him in there 13-11 no I'm going South African I'm just going to do it in Irish she's quite like the Boers the Boers they're very good of course there you go the Afrikaners I'm not that far off in goals Peter Schmeichel right back Craig Doyle I'm so glad he's fit he's trained so hard this week and he deserves a starting place on the team yeah

23:49who was beside me Matthias Lothar Matthias Lothar Matthias My God Marcel Desailly Yeah Garrett Thomas World team Midfield David Ginola Wow Trying to remember the whole team Yeah Jean-Franco Zola So you're in a kind of a celebrity And a football team Yeah it's a mix Footballers It's a mix All for UNICEF And the other team is celebrities and footballers Correct Jean-Franco Zola Wow Gordon Ramsay up front Wow And Maradona Diego Maradona On your team Yeah Oh my god So we're all sitting there right and I'm like I don't want to be selected to start this game my plan was to just do 20 minutes at the end when everyone's knackered I've got to start like I'm looking at some of the players around me but I'm like no this is I'm I am on the third team and often on the subs bench on the third team I've been like that since I was six years old and it will remain so because that's where I'm comfortable Imagine BlackRock if they said someday I'll play with Maradona Maradona yeah yeah yeah so we go to sorry brother or father father the Spiritans in Black Rock Father we think we need to send Craig to St.

24:53Pat's why? Well now he said it again what did he say? Remember he said he wants to present grandstand? Yeah. Now he said he wants to play with, he's going to play with Diego Maradona he's truly out of his fucking mind He's God We get to, we stay in this hotel called the Lowry in Manchester private planes from London private planes in London we get the bus to Old Trafford and they're England fans outside Old Trafford and they're screaming and shouting at the bus I'm like this is real we get out we're in the away dressing room at Old Trafford right I'm terrified I'm terrified and Lothar Mateus is like Craig it's going to be good I'm playing alongside him it's fine we train together it's going to be alright you know what to do and next thing there's a physio table in the middle of it and Alistair Campbell who was also Labour takes out the bagpipes yeah pretty much starts playing them brilliant Jean-Franco Zola and Maradona jump on top of the physio table and start dancing I'm like okay I know what's happened here I've been hit by a bus I'm lying under the wheel of a bus this this is a this is I'm in a coma here I'm in a crash coma that's this can't be real we go out we line up Gabby Logan's at the top the referee was oh no the referee the referee oh you will well you tell me most famous referee of all time oh Colina Colina Baldy guy Yeah he's got the ball At the top of the tunnel And we're lined up And we're the whole Yeah And they play Arcade Fire Yeah Dun Dun Dun Dun You know Yeah And 75 ,000 people Yeah And I walk out On the pitch Oh boy To this And it's like Gordon Ramsay's leading Our team Robbie Williams Who was by the way A good player Good player And the sweetest man Oh really Because he knew I was shitting myself He knew I had Imposter syndrome Nice guy was he Every day, Armour Emmy.

26:48You're right, you're right, you're right. I had met him, it's going to send showbiz. I had met him in LA the year before. And we had a coffee together. He was off the pop and he was just a great, great fella. And he was really kind, kind, as was Ramsey. These are good people, good, good people. The more famous they are, the nicer, I don't know if you find this. Anyway, we go out in the pitch and you'll break up into little groups to warm up. I'm in a group with Ginola and Maradona, right? And they get the ball and they're like,

27:18You were beside Maradona Juggling the ball In a triangle Juggling the ball Ginola gets it He's like Doing his hair flick He flicks over to me And I'm just like Leg is stuck I'm so scared The ball skies off somewhere I'm like This is going to be An utter shit show But you must have been In awe of the presence Of Maradona I was terrified Terrified Maradona's hugging me Small Tiny Tiny man hair oh yeah so the match starts and within four minutes I am blowing out my arse Jesus Christ because the adrenaline yeah yeah breaks up a little bit I see space up the right side I get a few touches I'm feeling a bit more comfortable so I see space someone's taking a shot Schmeichel has the ball we press up a little bit I go Schmeichs Schmeichs hit me hit me I'm a man you found And Schmeich rolls the ball out to me.

28:16I make a little break. I'm looking. Tony Adams is coming towards me. I'm like, hmm, he's looking slow. I see Maradona's free in the middle. So I lay off a ball to Maradona. I go, two, two, two, two. Right? So I play 0-1-2. Go. I make a break up the right. Maradona passes to me. Oh, nice. And in commentary, Clive Tildes. You've got this on TV. Oh, yeah. This was my phone ring for quite a long time. It goes, Schmeichel to Doyle. Doyle to Maradona. Maradona back to Doyle. Oh! In the background, Ali McCoy is laughing. I can't believe I've heard that. So I throw across the ball in. No go. Fine. I'm responsible for...

28:55There's a break then. Gascoigne makes a break. Paul Gascoigne. And I'm trying to chase him down. I'm like, where the fuck is he? Where is he? You can't believe how good these guys are until you see it. I'm like, where is he? I end up just slide tackling. That's fine. They get a free kick or something like that. And it ends up over the right side. I got Les Ferdinand I'm marking Les Ferdinand in the box like this is crazy am I still under the bus wheel at this stage so I have Les Ferdinand here and I'm just trying to hang on to his jersey but he's outside me and I'm like I'm covered here I'm good so basically the rule of football you don't know football defender in between the attacker and the goal so you can get a little header away and I've had a few good headers that day I'm feeling okay ball comes in I'm like where's Les he's made his way around the back of me he's there nods the ball in the net I'm like I'm so out of my league here and I'm knackered I get pulled Smykes, Smykes, hit me, hit me.

29:44It's on again. I got the space. This time I'm making this work. Actually, there's a break for me to cut in. I might even have a shot. Smykes, Smykes, hit me. I make a break. That Maradona's free. Diego, yeah. Boom. Lay a pass off to him. He tries to make a break. Gets a tackle. Tackled. And I shout without even thinking. For fuck's sake, Diego! I have no right to ever say those words. Of course not. No right to say those words. Shortly afterwards, I was... Half-time, actually. I was... Removed? I was removed. but it was amazing you noticed did it strike you how amazing these players most of them had retired and everything but they're still amazingly good like Gascoigne yeah otherworldly yeah Jean-Franco Zola yeah and Zola said to me Greg when you come to Sardinia or Sicily you come and play five a side with me and my friends I went no no why not no I can't are they as good as you yeah no no lovely people it was amazing and we had a party that night.

30:42My wife was there and my brother and sister and a friend of mine, Mark Baker, came over and we had a great party and Maradona had a bottle of champagne and a big cigar and he was sweating and we were hugging and it was the greatest crack ever. Like I've never been more envious in my life as I am right now. Seriously. I am absolutely grossed out with envy. Mario, I have the shirt hanging in the hallway of the bedrooms, outside our bedroom and I go by and I look at it regularly. I go, that was cool. We're very lucky, aren't we? Especially if you love sport. Especially if you love sport. It wouldn't mean anything to you if you didn't.

31:17But if you have hundreds of hours invested, genuine hundreds of emotional hours, and when you're on the edge of your seat and you're watching pure greatness in action like Diego, and then for some bizarre coma or reason, you get to lose it. It's mad. Yeah, it's mad. But there were also like the English guys, Tony Adams, Jamie Redknapp, all these guys who they were so kind I hung out with them a lot because I was such an imposter I was so I went back to being a kid again but look it was great brilliant I'm going to finish up now just one final Have we talked about anything? Yeah we've talked we've talked too much One final thing was Brian O'Driscoll was very nice about you on Off the Ball recently Oh Do you remember?

32:03Was this in relation to what? In relation to your the TNT thing Oh with Jeff Parler I was with Jeff Parling actually. Yeah, to recap, doing a game. I love Draco. I was doing a game about three or four weeks ago in Villa Park. Rugby decided to have all their matches in football stadiums that day. We were going from Villa Park to Tottenham to Wembley, I think. And I was first up, did a big walk through the stadium live. Here's the home dressing and blah, blah, blah, blah. And there was a new reporter called Lee McDevitt. Nice kid. I did the FA Cup with him on Saturday actually normally a football guy played decent standard like played for Port Vale and stuff so decent footballer and he said mate I've never done a rugby match before would be okay because in a football stadium if I take a conversion just at the top just to you know we're like producers like yeah I'm like you sure you want to do this he's like yeah yeah it'd be Grand Craig just get to him he'll kick it so before I do the thing he's about 40 metres back and I'm like mate push up get close there's a bit of a wind coming in that ball's not going to fly That ball has to end up in that stand if you're going to kick it.

33:10Anyway, I come out, do the live thing and I can't find you, man. We're all live. I've got to find him. He's in the pitch a little bit. I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. They're doing their warm-up. He kicks the ball. Jeff Parling is the director of rugby at Leicester Tigers who are traditionally quite, they're like, they'd be like the Millwall almost of rugby, you know. They round the wagons. They don't want to be liked. They're very physical. Both against them, yeah. He's like, this guy's a brilliant director of rugby and a guy I know and get on very well with. I see him walking over towards Liam now Liam has a PDA mic on which is a mic that goes over your ear you can't like put it down to the side if someone calls you something and I see him walking towards Liam I'm like oh Christ I don't know if this is a good or bad situation I just know I have to intervene I can't just leave it we're live so I go ah hard luck there yeah and I walk towards Jeff so I'll just intercept but the face on him oh no we've got a problem here I can't let him get to Liam it's his first day in rugby so I just go would you sign him Jeff and he looks at me and I would would you sign him Jeff why does his name have to be Jeff if his name was like Terence or something it wouldn't be so memeable would you sign him Jeff and he goes it's not fucking on get off my pitch and pushes me what's so brilliant about this moment is that you get pushed and you immediately take it like an absolute pro turn your head away walk away and go okay no problem and you just keep on going talking as if nothing has happened and it's that That was one of the most That went viral around the world We had 3 million views By that night apparently And I was mortified My son of course 18 He's the same age as Milo Your son And he sort of said Dad, dad The Craig thing Craig I didn't know Craig was so famous And I went And I went Why?

34:55And he went It's all about 20 million views I said what is? And he says Would you sign him Jeff? And It's just the most brilliant piece And do you know what Do you know what So you came out of it And I was loving it Right Oh my god Because nobody got hurt No And I was loving it And I was kind of feeling A little sorry for you Hoping that You'd come out of it okay And you did You didn't There wasn't one moment Where There was a little bit online Where people were online Yeah yeah Where people were going Doyle is such an asshole Yeah yeah yeah You know he shouldn't have been there Yeah And then half of the people Were going Jeff Parling is the asshole Yeah So half the people Were going Parling is the asshole Yeah For bullying you Pushing you And you're the asshole For being an idiot reporter to be on the pitch.

35:36But actually then by the next day Nobody called Liam an asshole. No. He kicked it. And by the next day everybody was going a few days later it was just a memeable brilliant memeable thing. And I was delighted for you. But having said that I was going to text you and I decided I didn't want to text you. I thought you were really you might be really upset. I was embarrassed. Yeah. And I wanted to leave you alone. Oh you're very kind. He's probably getting like he's probably getting a hundred million texts. I don't want to be just the fucking barnacle going nice one on the meme at least you would have made an effort and done an impression I know but I was wondering I was actually I was hoping against Hope that you weren't upset about it I was you were a bit embarrassed were you?

36:15I was I got upset because you're a pro like so Jeff rang me that night I went out I was doing a game in Manchester the next day and I've told this story before so if it's boring let me know but I was out with Draco that night and Austin Healy he was really funny Draco was loving it Draco was loving it and we had a few pints and Jeff rings me at about 10 o 'clock. I'm in a pub in the elderly age called the Bubble Room. Did you need a few pints? Fuck yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was shook because I was like, so when you do, and maybe this goes back to how, you know, with the Olympics and getting that hassle.

36:44Yeah. And maybe with the Craig Doyle show and just that, you know. A little pro trauma. Yeah, and the lovely thing about sports is you get to do the live stuff. You get to meet all the people you're live in telly. You get to show off and all that, but that's not about you. Yeah. Right? It's about the people on the pitch or the people on the golf course or whatever you do, tennis court, you're a step away from it. And so it's about them, which I really love. So you have the fun without any of the pressure of being your name on the door. Your name's not on the door. And that just put my name on the door for a little while.

37:12I didn't really want. And, you know, the great people like Steve Ryder, you say, you know, and John Inverdale's like, don't be part of the story. I never want to be part of the sports story. I'm there to tell the story. So I was embarrassed from that front. I don't want my kids saying Craig's an asshole because he's like, I'm like, well, actually, I felt sorry for Jeff because I understand he's protecting his warm up area I get that I think that's a sacred place I think the dressing room is sacred I wouldn't allow cameras in anyway the point is he was fine about it that night but the boys had said whatever happens when Doiler comes in off the phone to Jeff Perling do not talk about it because they know I want a debrief right so I come in I'm like right that was Jeff and they went do you want another pint I'm like yeah I'll have another pint so that was Jeff and they're like who do you think is going to win tomorrow between sale and bath I'm like that was Jeff lads and they went those shoes are nice are they what are they they did everything and they so they thought it was hilarious well about a week later about five days later listening to Off the Ball and you see it all the clips on thing and so I was there because Driscoll Brian O'Driscoll is a lot of people tune in for his rugby stuff because he's extremely thorough he's very good he's a real pro and he gives a real breakdown of stuff but they started talking about you anyway he's like look the thing you've got to remember about Craig is that Craig because he was laughing at it as well Craig is just a top professional Like he's You know Doyler is just not Going to let it go Like he's going to He's like a dog with a bone You know He's going to keep going And that's why When he goes Would you sign him Jeff And your man just kind of Fucks him out of it I mean Doyler just keeps going Like nothing gets in Doyler's way Like And so I have to Like that's very admirable You know Like for fuck's sake Like So he's kind of slagging you But he's being really good to you He backed you up to the hill Ah he's great You got to see it Did you see it?

38:59I know I will look Oh you've got to back I just didn't watch anything It's a nice It's a nice thing where It's a nice thing where a friend Is making sure they speak Do a testimonial On your behalf But that's Brian for you Brian's really genuine Lovely fellow Yeah And that's how he Like he's a good pal So that's really I actually haven't watched anything Because I just said Let's pretend that never happened It's a brilliant moment Well I was with you And you know you've got away with it Because it'll go down As in you go on the credit side Well People will go Thanks for giving us that Yeah well I guess Jeff as well people would be saying Jeff thanks a bit for that I was with Jeff I met Jeff for the first time on Sunday and I hadn't seen him and he was in the middle of the pitch and bear in mind by the way when I go to Sail Sharks the next day to do a match it's just happened all the players and I'm talking about George Ford the Curry brothers Alex Sanderson the coach all of them as they're coming out of the dressing room walk past me and go push me and go fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off it's like 25 guys pushing me to fuck off I went, yeah, okay.