Joe Biden's Incoherent Book Launch, Meghan Markle's Emmy Nom, and Ellen's TRUE Persona, with Adam Carolla | Ep. 1360

30:24Just say yes or no. Can they? Again, I would. That's what your medical school is promoting. Mr. Chairman, it's clear these medical schools are hiding DEI curriculum under the guise of medical access. Yeah, so these are the heads of two medical schools unwilling to say that men cannot have babies. That's what it's come to. They would have had people laugh in their face across the political spectrum 15 years ago. Now look at us. It is really the greatest campaign ever run. Like if you looked at it, Megan, let's just pretend, let's do a thought experiment and just say it was sort of Mad Men era and it was Madison Avenue and we're like in the mid 70s and I come into this big firm that does advertising and I go, here's my challenge to you.

31:24My challenge to you is to get half this country, maybe more than half the country, believing that men can be women and women can be men. They'd go, that's impossible. And I'd be like, listen, I want politicians. I want popes. I want the president of Harvard and Yale and the people running med schools to say this. And when we question them about it, they'll go, I don't know. That's what I want you to do. They would go, that's impossible. It's impossible. It can never be done. Like we could, we could get, we could convince people that raisinettes were better than goobers, even though they're not, but we're not going to be able to convince most of America to say that men can be women and women can be men and men can give birth and all that kind of birthing people that that's impossibility.

32:18And furthermore, I want anyone who's a detractor, anyone who says, I don't believe that men can be women and women can be men. I want them shunned. I want them ostracized. I want them scared to talk. I want them scared. I want, I want Supreme Court nominees to not know the difference between a man and a woman. How about that? You would go, that's an insane thought. It'll never work. And here we are adults, by the way, these guys, here's the part that's interesting. These guys and all these people, all these scared pussies who were forced into saying this, they didn't think this. They were into their 60s when this thought came to them.

33:03It's not like you got hold of them. They don't believe it now. Well, they don't believe it. No, they don't believe it. What I'm saying is, it's even better that they don't believe it. You forced everyone to comply. You got someone, you had people to, you got people to say stuff they don't believe because they were scared. this seth moulton is a good example of what you're saying the one who is all like effing this and we're gonna fight gonna stand up to trump on ice this guy he's a complete p-word he um he came out after the 2024 election and he read the tea leaves he saw that the trans issue was one of the major issues in fact according to the biggest survey done amongst swing vote voters swing state voters it was the number one issue, the number one issue, the boys and girls sports issue.

33:54So he says, you know, I'm a dad. I don't I don't want my girls competing against boys in sports. It's not fair and it's not safe. And I remember at the time we did a segment on it and I was like, I bullshit. I don't believe this guy because he had been voting against girls rights on this issue for quite some time and had been pretty outspoken about it. So now after the election, he's like, oh, you know, I'm just a dad and I see reason. And we called him out and we're like, bullshit. No, I don't believe you. And then the next time the vote came up about saving girl sports and keeping boys out of them, which, by the way, has now been deemed completely lawful by the U.S.

34:34Supreme Court. Any state can do that. Twenty seven states in the union have done it. What did he do? He voted against it. He voted. He is a P word. He is a scared little sissy. even. And by the way, aren't those the only ones who have to come out and do that kind of tough talk? You know, you spend your day, you spent your life surrounded by actual men, manly men in construction who actually know how to like wail on their thumb with a hammer, have it turn black and never complain. Like I've seen this man. And those guys are do not run around being like, fucking we're gonna fucking i mean give me a break this guy's a poser yeah well i think we should say sissy with a p and then everyone yeah what we're talking about um i i'm big on the swearing it's the p word it stops me my tracks i keep going i get it and i respect you enough to now convert to sissy with a P.

35:34It's so sad to me. I have to tell you, as a dude who grew up doing dude stuff, you know, playing football and riding motorcycles and boxing and construction and all that, cars and all that kind of stuff, I hate to see these weird poser dudes, you know, these fake sort of constructed in the lab. I drive a pickup truck and I like hunting kind of dudes, you know? I mean, remember 10 minutes ago when Tim Walsh was posing as a dude? Remember, they do those commercials where he'd pop his head up from under the hood of his international harvester. It's like, oh, hey, you just caught me gapping my plugs.

36:14Anyway, let me tell you about birthright citizenship. Like, are you kidding me? Jazz hands. Yeah, it's so, so weird and sad. I do know how dudes think. none of them think like these guys ever. They really don't. And I'll tell you how you can, you want to know the litmus test for, are you a dude or aren't you a dude? Like we can go, oh, this guy does jujitsu or that guy works on his car, whatever it is. You show me your reaction during COVID and I'll tell you who's a dude and who's not a dude because I toggle, I may be one of the only people in this town that sort of toggles in between Hollywood stuff, you know, creative stuff, producer stuff, writer stuff, comedy stuff, and then blue collar stuff.

37:05Cause I'm always working on a project. I'm always building. I have a crew. I have guys, I have guys at my shop. I have guys working on my race cars, blah, blah, blah. There's a dramatic difference between how regular dudes responded to COVID, which was almost nothing, really no reaction, no mask, no talk about vaccines, no missing days at work, no discussion versus the Hollywood crowd, total wussies with a P and wussies with a P. So show me your record on COVID and I'll tell you whether you're a wussy with a P or not, But don't don't claim to be a dude and then tell me you're cheering on lockdowns and mask and distancing and washing everything down with Pure Al.

37:54That'll be the litmus test. How you acted during covid. Half of them are still wearing masks in 2026. And bonus points if it reads vote on the front of it. Now, OK, let's keep going. There is. Where do I want to go next? I guess we should talk about just the follow-up on Lindsey Graham. The hater's gonna hate, you know, and the audience knows I've been very critical of Lindsey Graham this past year over his, you know, very, very pro-war stance, but I made the case the other day. I really find it extremely in bad taste, distasteful, and just classless to dump on the guy right after he dies. Like, we should be looking for his overall legacy.

38:40You don't have to whitewash anything, but you don't have to seize upon the thing that you really hate about him and rub it in the face of his survivors and so on. Well, you'll be shocked, shocked to hear that Sonny Hostin over at The View didn't get the memo. And here she is. She's reading a lot of this as though it's not from her. And so she's just pontificating. This is what others are saying. But of course, there's a reason she did that. And here it is in SOT 19. Steve Schmidt, who's a political strategist and worked on the John McCain campaign in 2008, wrote just today, Lindsay knew better.

39:22And he said he was a lonely and unprincipled man who betrayed his country for power and his decency for attention. And he also called him a pilot fish, a smaller fish that hovers about a larger predator like a shark living off of its deleterious. Deleterious. And that's Lindsay. When you're talking about a complicated legacy and someone who may have betrayed his country for power, that seems to be, in my view, what his legacy became. she's despicable. I mean, just 10 times out of 10, she will go the despicable route. Yes. Well, I think when something like this happens, it's a good way to figure out who the angry, despicable people are.

40:16Because if you hear about somebody who you disagree with passing and you say nothing, you may disagree with them every bit as much as anybody else, but you're not a despicable person. You're not an angry, despicable person. And it's always the same suspects, right? It's the Joy Reads and the Sonny's. That's Sonny and Joy, the two most angry people on the planet. I enjoy the person who dance a jig when somebody dies. Another American dies. A former Air Force member dies. They love it. But it's a good way on the right and on the left, although it's mostly on the left, to kind of tell micro macro, by the way.

41:09What I mean is, is like whether it's a public figure or just a family member who you hated You can sort of tell who the classless people are and who the angry people are and who the despicable people are by how they celebrate somebody's death and if they don't handle it with class. And there's no doubt that that's who these people are. I mean, there is no doubt in my mind that Sonny, if she had a magic wand and could flip it and Trump would be dead and everyone she disagreed with would be dead, she would flip that wand in the middle of the night. mm-hmm no we're seeing it now this week in the uk after the murder of this 78 year old conservative stalwart and witticum who now we found out was murdered in her home by some guy who was there for political reasons who didn't like her politics they're labeling it a counterterrorism investigation and of course the police are like we still don't know the motive well why is your counterterrorism group than investigating it.

42:19At first they said, oh, she just fell. And that's all. And I guess they didn't find the wood shards in her head from where she was beaten with a bat over her head until they found the guy on camera at Ann's house. They traced his license plate and then they found really clear CCTV footage of him getting into his car from his home three hours plus away where you see the baton sticking out of his shorts, his shorts pocket. In any event, same thing over there, Adam. These leftists are celebrating the murder of a nearly 80 year old woman who really wasn't, as far as I can tell, that provocative. She was a right winger.

43:01She was part of the Reform UK party that wanted Brexit and, you know, has called out bullshit on some of the more conservative establishment views. But she was sunny. She was fun. She was on this dancing competition over there. Like, for the most part, she was somebody with a great sense of humor who was quick to laugh at herself and talk to people on the other side. I could we could be here for an hour reading the terrible things that the left is saying about her over there celebrating that she's been murdered. Well, I mean, why wouldn't you celebrate the death of somebody who supported a group that was, you know, Hitler, Jason, who wanted, who hated black people and brown people who discriminated against Muslims and gays and bisexuals and lesbians.

43:52Like if you think about it, the other side. So if you're on the right, whether you're across the pond in the UK or you're here, you're a hateful person, right? So we sort of say, we hate your policies. Your policies are destructive and bad. They say you're a hate monger. I mean, you just heard what What's His Douche said about J.D. Vance. You know, he's going to have to sit down and explain to his brown kids why he hates them one day. All right. So if your policy is bad, then you don't need to be killed and we don't need to celebrate. We just need to not elect you. But if you're a hate filled Hitlerian person who hates people of color and gays and lesbians, then maybe you do need to be killed.

44:44And if you were killed, would it be a bad thing? I mean, these guys essentially create a comic book fairy tale version of life. And, you know, Trump is the evil king. And when the evil king is taken down or any of his lieutenants are taken down, well, then the people in the village celebrate, don't they? And their weird, bizarre cartoon version of life. So, yes, anyone who supports the other side, the right is just a foot soldier. and when you see those comic books and those Disney cartoons and, you know, one of the monkeys from the Wicked Witch of the East or the West is flying around and gets swatted down, that's a good thing.

45:29Well, we're all just flying monkeys, according to them, and it should be celebrated when one gets shot down. Even if you're a 78-year-old woman, I mean, it's like living alone. the um here's just a sampling uh there's a someone who goes by heather herbert which means it's a man transgender woman if you just substitute fake for transgender it's very helpful in figuring out the actual sex if you hear transgender woman you just think to yourself fake woman so then you know what you're dealing with heather herbert a transgender woman meaning a man employed of course at the university of aberdeen the most hateful are at some of these universities yes branded the tragic death of Miss Whittacombe.

46:12I'm reading here from The Sun. Good news. She posted the vile remark on Blue Sky, adding that she hoped Miss Whittacombe was, quote, handcuffed to the bed as she screamed in agony in her final moments. The university where Heather is employed as a web developer has since said it was investigating the comments. Despite backlash over the sick remarks, Herbert doubled down on his stance. I changed their pronoun for them. replying to one furious social media user. Herbert said, quote, I'm done with being nice to pieces of human garbage like her. By the way, Anne Whittacombe, while she did not believe men could become women, had like was actually quite kind to transgender people in like on an individual basis, knew some.

46:54She wasn't she wasn't hateful toward them. She was a policy matter that she would argue. Then there's more. I'm blue sky. There are comments calling Anne nasty, rancid, old bitch, a fucking devil, a cold hearted bigot, you know, all of this, it would apply to you, to me, to they'll use these terms one day against Mitt Romney. And it doesn't matter if you are anything other than a committed leftist, you are going to be subjected to this. And on your point, Adam, about, you know, the LGBTQ thing and like this, this crowd, they're supposed to be so open and accepting of these people and we on the right are not.

47:34Listen to the angry lady podcaster, Jennifer something, and her weird little friend who never says anything. Listen to how they're talking about Lindsey Graham, who may or may not have been part of the LGBT crowd in the wake of his death. This is a moment for the Democrats to wholly start attacking. You might say, attack after Lindsey Graham's death? This is the fight of our lives. Yes, you say, here's a man who every single day preached family values and anti-gay rhetoric and talked about the killing of civilians, was a homicidal war criminal out the wazoo. And now we know, as we've known for a long time, that he likes to put on red panties and kink around with sex workers, which, listen, I don't give a shit.

48:26I'm not some Christian prude that wants to be involved in the sex lives of everybody else. But the Katie Millers, the Stephen Millers, the Lindsey Grahams, and all of these people are that. And we need to start calling out the hypocrisy. And then she went on to hope and pray that any sex worker, gay sex worker, who's ever been with Lindsey Graham comes out to shame him posthumously, reminding her audience that you don't have to honor a non-disclosure confidentiality agreement post-death. Okay. Are you some sort of a lawyer, Jennifer? Because you could get in a lot of trouble giving out free legal advice like that.

49:06Anyway, your thoughts on her? I often wonder who their audience is. And then I also wonder if they have an audience or their audience is just people like us wondering out loud what a dumb shit she is and how insane she acts like who you know like does the view actually have an audience or is the audience solely comprised of 14 people who are in the studio me and my producers And then us who just make fun of the view. So women like this who never say a thing that's interesting or smart, it's always just kind of weird, emotional sort of garbage. No angles, never put anything together. Well, is there do does she have a following?

49:57Are there people around? Could she fill an auditorium or is it just us making fun of her? Because she never says anything interesting. You know, like there are people full of hate on the left. I mean, Jon Stewart, he's on the other side of the aisle politically, but he's able to craft thoughts that are smart, interesting and oftentimes funny. This bitch never says anything smart or anything interesting. Yeah, well, but she in a way embodies where the Democrat Party is right now. That's one of the reasons why she is somewhat interesting, because this is where they've gone. They are like very hateful, very.

50:39I know it's a bad word. Like, I don't love the word, but it kind of applies dehumanizing toward conservatives. That's part of the game is to dehumanize people on the right side of the aisle so that when they are subjected to, quote, social murder, no one has to feel bad and you don't have to feel bad celebrating their untimely deaths from an aortic dissection. It's totally fine to dance on their graves because your humanity has to be ignored, stifled, eliminated altogether in the name of politics. It's just not the way it used to be. All right, standby. We've got much, much more with Adam, including an update in that JP Morgan case and more.

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52:19Adam Carolla is back with me. He is the host of the Adam Carolla Show. You can find out more at adamcarolla.com. Adam, today is what, July 15th? Today's the 15th. And we were told at this point, well, 14 months ago, even, well, I'm trying to think exactly. I guess it was two years ago. I'm doing my math. That Joe Biden was fully competent to be president at this point. They wanted him to be our commander in chief. They wanted him to have access to the nuclear codes. They thought he could manage the domestic economy, issues involving law and the Supreme Court and foreign policy and Iran. And let's just check in with how he's doing and try to picture him doing that now because he decided to drop a book promo to the world.

53:12And this is a taped promo at which he had as many goes at it as he wanted. His team clearly spruced it up before actually hitting publish. And so this is absolutely the best they could do. let's see how he's doing. I've written a book about my time as president. It's called Promise Me America. It's coming out in November and it's available for pre-order now.

53:38It's about the challenge we face as a nation about the decisions I made and why I made them.

53:49Leading the country through COVID, rebuilding our economy and restoring our democracy after the attack on january 6th any nation's longest war in afghanistan strengthening it and supporting ukraine it's about why i chose to run for re-election and why i chose to step aside most of all it's about my faith in the promise of america the promise we made to those who've gone before us is to honor their sacrifice oh anywhere in afghanistan why should i say and that's the promo i think the forward was written by the auto pen it just took off on its own and wrote its own forward i think that would be superior to this.

54:47It went rogue. All right. A couple of things. I do love the meal they made out of January 6th. Like he restored the country after January 6th. January 6th was a riot that started after 2 p.m. and was done before 5 p.m. It's like a two hour with a lot of fat involvement. Right. I mean, is that think about Black Lives Matter? Think about Antifa. Think about the summer love. Could you imagine a it's a riot except for there's no fires and it lasts one afternoon and it starts after lunch and it ends before dinner. But no, we're going to make an entire meal out of this thing and never stop talking about it.

55:31All right. Number one. Number two. Remember all the remember all the fake stuff that would they would they would go. that's a that's a cheap fake or they gave it a label yeah like a cheap fake and i was like it's a picture of him stumbling around looking disoriented and they go oh well that's that's just a segment of the video you know what i mean like that's just a 30 second clip and i you know what i said someone is trying to paddle pass that crap off on me and my podcast and they go These are just little clips of it. It's not the whole video. I said. He did he for the surveillance tape by the elevator beating Cassie and kicking Cassie.

56:20That's a surveillance tape. Him beating her is just a clip of an endless surveillance tape that has families going in and out of the elevator all day long. Yeah, it's a clip. It's a clip. What do you want us to do? Watch 24 hours of empty elevator surveillance? Conceded. Idiots, you know what I mean? But also, you know, Jake Tapper and all these idiots, they all tried to sell it to us. They weren't doing news. I mean, it's not Joe Biden's fault. It's everyone else. It's all the news. It's the legacy media. They should be embarrassed that they tried to push this narrative. I mean, it's amazing for them, you know, to have to watch him current day and to live with the fact that they told us that man, the

57:14was capable of being the commander in chief right now. You know, like he didn't die. So he's still alive through the course of this second, what would have been his second term. And we can see for ourselves, the guy they said could do it. It's embarrassing. He cannot do it. He truly, he sounds drunk all the time. Leading the economy to COVID and his return to the economy on January 6th in Afghanistan. And the nerve to bring up Afghanistan, right? Ending our nation's longest war in Afghanistan. I'm saying it much clearer than he did. Strengthening our economy in NATO. straight and negative. Like Afghanistan was his lowest moment.

57:53His those his polls dropped precipitously in August of twenty twenty one. And they never recovered because people were holding on to the airplane as it was exiting. We gave up Bagram Air Force Base to actually try to spin this. And then why I chose to step aside. I mean, we all know mob boss Nancy Pelosi basically said you step aside or you never get any legacy, Joe Biden. We're going to shit all over you and your family and everything connected to you. All of this is revisionist history, which I guess is perfectly on brand for the lies that we were told by this guy while he was in office and in order to get in office and in order to try to stay in office.

58:32It's just so like the gaslighting continues. I completely agree. you know, in terms of you asking like that, that that's the best take they could get from him. I have a slightly different view on it. I believe he's ornery, he's old and he does it and they go, give us another one. And he goes, the last one was fine. Now I'm going to go eat some pudding and take a nap. And he leaves. I don't think like you ever see, remember when athletes used to do a lot of commercials and they were always horrible. Like they sounded really dead and flat and whatever. It's because nobody wanted to tell Ed Too Tall Jones to do it again.

59:17Like that last take sucked. You know what I mean? Like I've been on the other side of the camera where the director just goes, Adam, that wasn't your best. You seem like you're rushed or whatever you're nervous or something. Let's do it again. Let's do it. And sometimes you do it 15 times. I don't think you could get Biden to do it again and again and again. I think he just does it. Everyone does what they did a couple of years ago. They just nod and say, that's great. They do what Dr. Jill would do. You did so good, Joe. You're the best. You got him. You got him out there. You told the truth.

59:55And then they go to lunch. This is the kind of talk you will hear if you tune into the Adam Corolla show, which you should definitely do. It's why it's one of the biggest podcasts in the country and has been for years. One of my own inspos for getting into podcasting in the first place. And I'm sure, I'm sure you've been recognized with multiple awards and honored by the Emmys many times for your outstanding program, just like Meghan Markle. If not, she's your hashtag goals, perhaps. She has been honored just today, we find out by the Emmys with an with a daytime Emmy nod for that hideous Netflix show she did with love, Megan.

1:00:39It's amazing to me, like quite possibly the actual worst product to hit television over the past five years. and now she has managed to get an Emmy and here is a nomination. Here's just a reminder of some of how that program looked and then I'll give you some of the reviews that it received. Watch. I've always loved taking something pretty ordinary and elevating it. Surprising people with moments that let them know I was really thinking of them. what this is probably one of the most glamorous moments of my life i'm going to share some little tips and tricks i see what color i gravitate to and everything goes from there and how you can incorporate these practices every day that's what you want you want that shape and texture come on this is about connecting with friends i love that we're doing this together for the first time.

1:01:44Making new friends. That is so good. We're family now. I'm just learning. Look at how much honey we have. We're not in the pursuit of perfection. Woke us all up. We're in the pursuit of joy. Love is in the details. Oh, my God. I forgot just how cringy it was. Elevate. You have to elevate everything. You can elevate your peanuts and your pretzels by taking them from the store bought bag and transferring them into a cellophane bag. That's an elevation. Just in case you didn't know that Adam Carolla living under a rock out there in California. this is one of the most glamorous moments of my life.

1:02:30Sure, that's how my friends talk to me too when they come over. They're always telling me how glamorous everything is when they're hanging out with me. You know, I just want to incorporate these tricks into your everyday as she prances around in a beekeeper's. Because I know if I ever came over to Adam Carolla's for a drink, we would don our little beekeeping hats and we would go check in with your bees. Well, look, Megan, I don't call myself a hero, but one time I did take smoked almonds from the canister and I put them in a bowl. And I was delighted because I believe in freedom and smoked almonds and every day is about joy for me.

1:03:16Another time I took some Chex Mix and I put it in another bowl that was bigger. That was a pretty big day for me. And then I took some Fiesta Mix once. Actually, I stole the packets from a commercial flight. But when I got home, I emptied them into a different bowl. So, you know, I understand that feeling of exhilaration, the feeling of coming alive when you take a dry trail mix and dump it into an ashtray and then consume it. As long as Netflix is there, it's next level. It is elevated. She talks about connecting with friends. And what we saw in that actual terrible show is that they were all terrified of her.

1:04:02She didn't know any of them. She would go on about like how well she knew people. And then she'd be like, where do you live again? This all led to a long parody that Maureen Callahan and I did of With Love, Megan, that is available on YouTube if you type in With Love. Did we call or we called ours? Fuck off, Megan. I can't remember in any event. Here's a bit from our trailer, our take on her, on her now Emmy-nominated show, Adam.

1:04:34it's important to me to stay relatable i love to elevate a guest's visit microwave popcorn you plop it right in there it's so simple only the lazy people don't do this put it in a paper bag here we go it's right behind you oh my god you did it we're going to put it in one of these special cellophane bags

1:05:03it's okay these aren't it's not expensive like your clothes are look at how fun that is

1:05:13these are amazing and you're going to absolutely love them this we're just gonna put into a different bag they're spectacular and then i just and then i just dump them just like that where where are you getting all these like mini brainstorms what's i'm so um impressed maybe in the next wave of our friendship i'll try to explain it to you

1:05:40you have to be a founder to understand um here were some of the reviews adam of this show that's now been emmy nominated uh first of all had a 38 score on rotten tomatoes um the rotten tomatoes critics' consensus called it insistently pleasant but ultimately sterile. Vulture, an utterly deranged, bizarro world voyage into the center of nothing. Season two, The Times of London, occupies the sweet spot where irrelevant meets intolerable. The Telegraph, a two-star review, dubbing her the Montecito Marie Antoinette, citing a production-built, impromptu flower mart Sure, Megan. Here was one that was slightly better from The Guardian, which also gave it two stars, calling it so painfully contrived that it's genuinely fascinating.

1:06:33Now they're trying to spin this as though, when it got canceled, as though that was always intended. They had a joint statement that Netflix put out. It was always intended that Megan will continue growing the brand and taking it into its next chapter independently. Read, it got canceled. It only had one season, not two. They filmed all the episodes at the same time and broke them into two parts. And they tried to spin that to us as a renewal. It was nothing of the kind. And now clearly she's got, I guess, enough juice left in the can to get an Emmy nomination out of this, Adam, which is meaningless, but right on brand for her.

1:07:15Your thoughts. Well, remember when Obama got the Peace Prize before he even entered the office? This is kind of what the elites do, and this is why the Oscars are worthless and nobody watches anymore. Emmys, all these sort of plaques, honors, and prizes, they just kind of go one direction. And it does become a popularity contest or some sort of little kitschy club. and all of a sudden you're back in high school again. So they basically took their awards and they undervalued them like some sort of foreign currency when a banana dictator takes over. You know how the peso or the mark or whatever it is in whatever country when Fidel Castro takes over that just bottoms out and they just keep printing new money.

1:08:11That's what's happened to the Emmys and the Oscars. Like nobody gives a shit anymore because they just hand them out to their friends. You know, the Obamas have a production deal like they know anything about producing anything other than homes, essentially. So I don't know. I think it's just one more step closer to the grave for Hollywood and awards and the old the old school. You know, the Oscars used to be a big deal. It was a big deal. If you got an Oscar, it was appointment viewing. And now no one cares anymore. Also, obviously, she's an insane narcissist because she films herself doing nothing all day.

1:08:58But you do kind of wonder with a lot of these people, I mean, you have to think Ellen, you have to think Rosie. The old versions of them were the nicest, saccharine, sweetest people on the planet. It was all part of a campaign to get you to not know what was actually going on in their heart. And I believe whenever I see people act super saccharine sweet, it's always overcompensation for them actually being a bitch and knowing it. And it's so true. I see. I have this theory, which is Bill. Like I say a lot of douchey things and half the people think I'm a racist asshole, but I wouldn't do it if I felt like I was that way.

1:09:44I would have to overcompensate and be sweet and be. Yes. You know, people tell me all the time, you're such a racist. I go, if I was a racist, I wouldn't make so many racist jokes because I wouldn't want people to be on to me. So you should look at everything through the lens of Ellen, who started every show by dancing, or Rosie, who had the Cutie Patootie Chub Club. And she loved Tom Cruise and she loved the Muppets. Inside, we're both raging bitches. and anyone who worked for them, and I knew people who worked for them, would tell you stories about how bad they both were soon as the cameras and the lights shut off.

1:10:28Like they were the worst. You were not allowed to look Ellen in the eye if you were on her production staff. This came directly from somebody who worked for Ellen to this person's relative, blood relative who I knew. Yes. You could not make eye contact with the queen as you walked by her. and you were working for her. I mean, this is like her staff, who she's chosen, whose job it is to help her and make her look good. Like, okay, maybe I, this is ridiculous, but let's say the rule is don't talk to her when you walk by her in the hallway. Okay, maybe you could give that to her. She's like in the zone.

1:11:03She's thinking about what she's going to say when she goes out there. She's got to be funny. You can't make eye contact with her. She's a monster. Yes. Letterman's staff was scared of him. Rosie's staff was scared of her. Ellen's staff was scared of her. You can judge by the staff. Do the people who work for you, are they scared? And by the way, when you show up to a show to do the show, and I did, you can tell immediately when people are scared. You don't get that. When you'd show up to do The Tonight Show with Leno, everyone was relaxed. When you'd show up to do. Kimmel, everyone was relaxed.

1:11:41You can show up and you can tell the staff that's scared. They're tense and they're scared. And Ellen's staff was scared shitless when I showed up to do it, you know, X amount of X amount of years ago. Like I noted how scared everyone was. And this is 15 years ago. So you have to wonder about the people who are putting on the act like, oh, oh, I'm so nice. I'm so regular. I love friends. I love making new friends. Oh, where are the little people? Oh, there's Manuel, the gardener. I'm going to go be super nice to the little people that are here working and stuff like that. I don't trust them at all.

1:12:24I believe someone like you, you are who you are. Here's the whole thing. You can agree or disagree with Bill Maher. Bill Maher is Bill Maher. That's that's who Bill Maher is. Like I I've I've talked to Bill Maher at a party and Bill like came up to me and he's like, you have kids. And I go, yeah, I got twins. And he's like, man, that's a bummer. And I said, no, I like my kids, Bill. And he goes, I bet you do. And I was like, all right, that's Bill. That's who he is. He's. Yeah. No, I always feel like if you were ever to see my text chains, like if my text ever got revealed, people would be like, yeah okay there would be absolutely no shock involved in any of that because i do live my life privately and i speak privately the way i do on the air it's it's it's pointless to try to hide who you are you know if you if you have a problem you really think you're a bad person you should work on it because it's going to come out eventually yes so the over i'll put it to you this way i went to a wedding that ellen was at um there was a 30-piece orchestra and a world-class band it was a world-class wedding.

1:13:33Every person was dancing except for Ellen. So does Ellen love dancing? Because if she loves dancing, it's like a Geico commercial. You're happier than Ellen at a wedding. Does she love dancing or does she want you to think she loves dancing? Exactly right, right, right. To the point where she incorporates it in every show and you just watch her having fun and being a great like host and meanwhile good luck finding anybody who has a nice word to say about her truly there i have yet to meet anybody i work i i've talked i you know i talked a lot of people who work on writing staffs and things like that uh they all signed ndas so i can't say any names but i had a guy tell me worst person and he goes not the worst person i've ever worked for the worst person I've ever met.

1:14:27Wow. Wow. That's in Hollywood too. But that's impressive. Uh, Megan. All right. Now maybe that same person. I don't know. I don't know her. I don't know anyone who's worked for her, but I'm saying, I mean, everybody, she fires everyone or they quit. All right. She's reported to be a massive bully. There was a massive bullying report done about her by the palace. I mean, the, when the palace is doing hip pieces on you, You got stuff to worry about. You really got to look internally. There was like a little glimpse of it on that terrible, but now Emmy nominated show where she, the one, was it Mindy Kaling who called her by the wrong last name, Meghan Markle.

1:15:08And she saw, you saw a little snap. We actually pulled it. Here it is. Sat 21. I don't think anyone in the world knows that Meghan Markle has eaten Jack in the Box. It's so funny too that you keep saying Meghan Markle, you know, I'm Sussex now. You have kids and you go, no, I share my name with my children. Yes. And that feels so, I didn't know how meaningful it would be to me, but it just means so much to go, this is our family name. Okay. If he had been, if she had gotten married to some Joe Schmo and his last name was Humperdick. Was it Humperdick? Engelbert. It wasn't Humperdick. OK, whatever.

1:15:53She would not be saying that. That's not what happened. She took Sussex because it's the Dutchess thing. It's royal. Who does she think she's kidding? And she's pissed. She doesn't want the Markle name used anymore, Adam, because because of the children. That's really what it is. She would definitely be Megan Humperdinck. I believe as long as we're exploring the actresses who act nice and are really mean and don't believe us ask their staff for the fire. I'm going to go ahead and include Kamala Harris onto that Rushmore bitches. I believe she's horrible. And that's why she always does the laugh.

1:16:38She does the out of control laughter. She does the dance. she does. Don't trust any of them. And remember when she was talking to her sorority from Howard University, she's like, my soror. Meanwhile, there had been a report to that half of the staff when she was VP fled. They were trying to tamp that down in the news reports, but she could not keep a staff because she was so nasty. All the reports were that she would not prepare. Then she'd be embarrassed. Then she'd snap at the staff for not preparing her. It's like you you wouldn't do the reading. You didn't do the work, but out in public, it's my sorrow.

1:17:15You're like, no, you're right. Nasty, nasty bitch. I don't know if she's not rushing. For sure. Ellen's up there. Rosie's up there. Yeah. Markle's up there. She could be the fourth. And you know, it's funny. They all hate Trump, but Trump is exactly who he is on camera and off camera. It's exactly the same. Yeah. Never tries to. And Trump actually does work to make most people like him. He actually does want your good opinion. Now, once you don't give it even for a day or a week, he turns on you. But like in general, he approaches every relationship with, um, good humor and a general, generally affable nature.

1:17:55I would say he just doesn't like criticism, but it, he's not one of those guys like, don't look at me. You know, no eye contact in the hall. Never. Not the opposite. Well, also the other thing is kind of interesting about him that none of these women that we've spoken about would do. Donald Trump actually has a lot of people in his cabinet, most of the people in the cabinet who've said horrible things about him. Like you take a look at Marco. His vice president. Yes, vice president or someone. Marco Rubio is a superstar in the Trump cabinet. Marco Rubio has said he had small hands and call him orange man and like he said horrible things but he put all that aside because marco rubio super effective and competent and would definitely help trump's cause so there's marco rubio or there's jd vance could you imagine kamala harris if there was some woman that talked a bunch of shit about her constantly uh about you know blowing her way to the top or you know whatever whatever, whatever horrible negative thing they said about Kamala Harris.

1:19:07Could you imagine her being elected president, putting that aside and bringing that woman into her cabinet? Hell no. Oh, hell no. There's zero chance. Now, what about Brad Pitt? He's in the news this week. You're you're of Hollywood. He's in the news this week because he's got like six kids with Angelina Jolie. Most are adopted, but a couple were biological to the two of them. but all of them from the sound of it have disowned him, distanced themselves from him. And two of the remaining, you know, I don't know, two have already done this and two more just announced that they are dropping Pitt from their name.

1:19:48They're just going to be last name Jolie now. And these are public declarations. You have to, in order to change your name under California law, I guess you have to publish it in the paper, your new name. so that's how we know but um two of his remaining you know children have come out to distance themselves from him and say we no longer even want to have his name this reportedly roots back to among other incidents something that happened on a plane a private plane between brad and angelina where he reportedly roughed up angelina jolie his team denies it uh but the the general take is that he hasn't been an attentive, loving, present, good father.

1:20:30And it seems like most of these kids feel that way about him. Are we to believe it? Or is this Hollywood publicists battling it out? And one is just better at it than the other. Well, first, I'd like to be on the record that if my dad roughed up my mom, but I still got to fly private, I would probably look the other way and just go on that Learjet. Number one, I just want to be straight with you because again, I'm not trying to win any popularity contests. Not a closed fist, obviously, but just a little, you know, 1950s style roughing up to Chris Carolla from Jim Carolla. But I got to fly private.

1:21:12I think I would sign off on that. And I'm pretty sure my sister would go along with it as well. So I just want to be up. Thank you for that disclosure. Again, I'm not doing a Meghan Markle running for office here. It's not a popularity contest. I understand I'm not going to say everything and make a lot of friends. There'll be no Emmy coming your way. I'd be over the moon if Brad Pitt was my dad. I really would. Like I would sit down every night and we would watch Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and I'd have a huge smile on my face. I think Angelina Jolie is nuts. I think she hates her dad. I think when a woman hates her dad, she will oftentimes transfer that onto whatever male figure is closest to her.

1:22:02So if a woman really hates her dad, there is oftentimes going to be a problem with the husband. and it will be transferred. I'm sure Brad Pitt liked to get his drink on and said a few things and maybe did a few things in the relationship, as many relationships do. They definitely have snags and bumps. But I think she's nuts, and I think she was trying to poison the kids or brainwash the kids. I have found in my experience that when a woman has a problem with the husband, she'll oftentimes try to collect lieutenants. She'll try to get, they'll try to, you have to take sides. With women, there is a lot of, you've got to take one side or the other.

1:22:52You know, you can't be neutral, whether it's a child or even just a friend. You know, like anyone who's been through this situation where this couple got divorced. The women mostly insist that you pick a side. It's not like that you can just still be friends with the ex-husband and still be friends with her. You have to show your allegiance. So I wonder if she sort of indoctrinated the kids. It feels like she's nuts and kind of poisoned the kids on him. And this is more her than them, because I have no idea why else they would want to do this. it's it's not it's not hard to believe like you point out the relationship with the father um now they have i don't know again i think it's six kids but according to the press uh maddox was adopted from cambodia zahara was adopted from ethiopia those are the latest two to drop the pit name vivian also appeared as vivian joe lee only in the playbill for broadway's the outsiders in 2024.

1:23:58Only Pax and Knox currently use their original hyphenated last names. Shiloh, that's one of the biological ones, I think, became the first of the couple's children to drop Pitt's last name. She did so on her 18th birthday in 2024. He is reportedly devastated by the decision. You know, I have no idea what goes on in this marriage, but to your point, like you can get a very, very angry, bitter ex-wife like Mia Farrow, who completely poisons the children. I, my own belief is that Dylan Farrow was completely mind poisoned by Mia about these alleged abuse allegations against Woody. It's not to excuse Woody's affair with Soon-Yi.

1:24:44And I mean, of course, Mia would be very angry over that. And I understand that and don't have any qualms with it. However, I completely believe she turned that child on Woody with fake abuse allegations and that while Dylan genuinely believes it's true, she's been brainwashed into it. That's just my opinion. Our sponsor, the Electronic Payments Coalition, says Washington politicians are always getting in your wallet and that now they're messing with your credit card. They say your credit card and the security it offers are under attack and that Senators Dick Durbin and Roger Marshall want to change the nation's payment system to benefit corporate megastores like Walmart and Target at the expense of everyday Americans.

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1:27:35Let's keep going. This week, we lost Sam Neill. The great actor Sam Neill died. Um, host, I mean, star of, of Jurassic Park among many other great movies and, um, fellow actor, Alec Baldwin had thoughts. They were appropriate. They were, they were deep. They were all about Sam Neill. Oh, wait, I'm just kidding. Here's what he actually said. I just wanted to come on here quickly and say how stricken I was to learn of the death of Sam Neill. when I did The Hunt for Red October we shot in 89, it came out in 1990 a long time ago and that was probably my first big movie in terms of having a decent sized role because I'd done Working Girl and Beetlejuice and things like that where I had a small role one of the most exciting parts for me was to meet Tom Clancy but the cast I mean I'll never I've had great cast, I've worked with great people you know Tony and Meryl and so many other people that I really, really admired.

1:28:45There's a lot of other people in there who I enjoyed working with, but my God, my God.

1:28:53What an experience that was. I mean, I remember that. I remember that's one of the few movies I've ever done where I remember the whole movie. That's what a fan I am of that work. Not me. I'm not a fan of my work, but I'm a fan of their work. Anyway, oh, my God. My God, Sam Neill. Those are literally the only two mentions of Sam Neill in the whole thing. He never told a story about him. Nothing, Adam. You know, it's weird, great magnet stuff is I'm sitting here. I had no idea you were going to bring up this Alec Baldwin clip, but I do know Alec Baldwin fairly well. and I was sitting there when I was thinking about people that are authentic and we're kind of talking about love him or hate him Trump or Bill Maher or whatever Alec Baldwin popped into my head as one of the people that just is who he is you know what I mean and I think in a weird way this non-eulogy is very Alec Baldwin because Alec Baldwin's brain goes about 200 miles an hour And so once he gets on to hunt for Red October, then it opens the floodgates to all the other thoughts from that movie.

1:30:10So I'd like to pile on Baldwin here, but that's really just him being a little on the spectrum, I would say. It reminded me of what you just said in the movie Terms of Endearment. You know, Deborah Winger's married to that loser played by what's his name? Oh, he's so good. Jeff Daniel. And he's a shit husband. And he sees Deborah Winger's best friend later in the movie. And I can't remember his first name in the movie, the character. But she says, let's call it Dan. You seem that you seem the same, Dan. And I'm not sure that's such a good thing. You say Alec Baldwin is always himself. You seem just like yourself, Alec.

1:30:56And I'm not sure that's such a good thing. When somebody dies, it's generally the tradition to say something about them. You don't use them as a springboard to bring up one of your greatest moments and then make the whole story about you. And if you do, you should adopt the weave to steal a term and then weave in the end back into how your greatness was dwarfed by that of Sam Neill and then tell a Sam Neill story. There's something like don't make it so obvious. No, I listen. I agree. And I think everyone sort of needs somebody on set to go. Let's not post that. That was supposed to be a tribute to Sam It turned out to be a tribute to you and submarines.

1:31:44Let's start again. This time, I'm going to work in some keywords, Jurassic Park, Patriot, Father, Son, Pleasure, Respect, and learned a lot from working with the man. Here we go. Take two. Let's start again. I like it. He needed you there in that moment. Maybe when the next great co-star of his passes, he'll call you before hitting post. Another interesting celebrity moment in the news. You also didn't know we were going to discuss this. This interview happened a year ago, but it's been re-released. And it really did jump out at me because I'd never heard her say this. I'd missed it. Nobody watches Monica Lewinsky's podcast.

1:32:33So I'd missed it the first time. She sat down with Miley Cyrus and Miley Cyrus had this weird thing. You know, she came up as a child star, Hannah Montana, and then she became a big singer in her own right, like a, you know, a music star. And she got like weirdly hyper sexual, right? And you were like, geez, it's a lot from Hannah Montana. And as it turns out, she regrets doing that. And here is what she said a year ago. It was really hard for me in 2013. And I lost everything during that time in my personal life because of the choices I was making professionally. You know, if I kept dressing or acting a certain way, my relationships fell apart.

1:33:20No one wanted to date me because they didn't want to be with a woman. That sexual expression part was not for them. It was like shared with the world. So like guys when I would try to date when I was dating or who I was engaged at the time, that didn't work out because I was sharing a part of myself that men wanted to be saved for them only. And the fact that I would, you know, pose nude or dance in very little clothes or show my body was making them feel like I was taking something away that was meant to be for them. So I would have really hard times dating. And it was just it was really hard.

1:33:56It was really hard for me to go home and see my dad and like look him in the eyes and not feel super embarrassed. I like this. It sounds like she's maturing, right, a little and like maybe getting past a difficult period. And it also made me think, Adam, of this moment. So like you would think you and I are older than Miley Cyrus. If we had spoken with her about that behavior during the time, I think we both would have had the same reaction, which is, is this the best choice? Is this the best way of like shedding the old skin? There are other ways of showing the world you've become this mature, sexy, gorgeous woman and you're no longer Hannah Montana.

1:34:35Contrast that with what Matt Lauer did when she went on the Today Show. Who could forget this moment and behave this in a sexually provocative way? It was very cringy and his his reaction equally. So watch eyes by the attention you're getting right now. Not really. I mean, it's kind of what I want. I'm an artist, so I'm hoping that I get a little attention. Otherwise, my record sales might be a little sketch. Well, let's get to that, because you talked about the VMAs, and you said, look, people called it a hot mess, but it was a strategic hot mess. So did you go there that night and say, look, I'm going to do something.

1:35:13Some people are going to love it. Some people are going to be offended by it, but people are going to be talking about it the next morning. Was it your plan? I don't ever really plan to offend people, but sometimes that just happens because I think people, you know, they're not open to what they don't understand. But that's why what I'm doing is for my fans because they're all really young and so they understand what I'm doing. Is it a phase? Is this a phase? Is the sexual side of you that we're seeing a lot of right now something that's going to be here for a while and then move on to something else?

1:35:44Well, I heard when you turn 40, things start to go a little less sexual. So probably around 40, around that time, I heard that's when people don't have sex anymore. So I guess maybe around then. Do you know how old I am? I'm going to guess 40. What? You don't... I love you again. 55. 55. Oh, well, then you're really definitely not sexual.

1:36:08So creepy. I'm sorry, but that's very creepy. He's creepy. that that exchange went everywhere when he got, you know, me to right out of NBC. But anyway, what do you make of her more mature take on that phase of her life? I like it. And I think, you know, I you know, we are trying to do a lot of things in our society that don't work well for women. You know, we're saying you have as many partners as you want. You have as many abortions as you want, and then you brag about it. You don't need a man. If you do have a man, you don't need a traditional type of man. You don't have to be a traditional woman.

1:36:51You don't have to cook. You don't have to clean. You don't have to take care of anything. You do your own thing, and it makes them all miserable. They're all the ones who practice this lifestyle are usually on the left and usually insanely miserable because essentially we're asking them to do and act in a way that goes against the grain of who they who they are as biological beings. So I feel bad for any young woman who is celebrating this way. And I wish somebody would have got hold of her. And I don't think anyone would have because she obviously would have pushed you out of her circle. But I'm glad to hear that she has some regrets and that she understands it.

1:37:44And, you know, I don't think men, I don't think we're prude when we say, you know, we don't want you dressing this way or acting this way in public. We're just basically saying that's for me. You're, you know, we have a relationship. We're married. We're engaged. We're whatever we are. And your sexuality is for me. And my sexuality is for you. I'm not going to go shoot porn films. This is our intimacy is for one, one another. But outside of that, I don't want to share you with the rest of humanity. Exactly. This is like, I think people like Miley, where she was in that 2013 period, are thinking that the world around, including the husband or potential husband, will look at that and say, yeah, right on.

1:38:36That could be mine or that is mine. and instead what you find is the men who are closest to you or who want to be, that's the last thing they want is for you to give it up to everyone, to show it off to everyone. What's special about that? It's the same thing with like the sex talk podcaster who's constantly talking about all the sex acts between her and her husband. It's like some things are just for the two of you and it's not a turn on to have you disclose everything to the world. Like show some dignity, some class and some reserve and something that treats the intimacy of a relationship with the appropriate respect.

1:39:16So good on Miley for maturing and seeing all that. Okay. Last but not least, the lawsuit that we talked about against the JP Morgan lady has taken another turn. This guy, Chirayu Rana, has sued JP Morgan and Lorna Hajdini claiming she was his supervisor and that she harassed him by saying stuff like, does your fish head wife have cannons like these? She has denied it all, Adam. Now she's filed her own counterclaim, which is now it's been moved to federal court. That's the latest update, which is bad for her. She didn't want that. He's been getting his ass handed to him in state court. He keeps angering the judge and misstepping and doing things he's not supposed to be doing in the pleadings and finally decided he should cut his losses there and refile this case in federal court.

1:40:11And unfortunately, the judge has allowed it. So now they're going to have to start anew, but her claim against him will start anew as well. Fresh claim doesn't have to be filed as a counterclaim so she can bring her own lawsuit against him. And she has. She just filed just before this left state supreme. She filed her counterclaim there and went on about how this has ruined her life, about doubling down on how none of it ever happened. No sexual encounter. She never had sex with him. She never drugged him. She never touched him. All of the allegations of unlawful or inappropriate conduct are lies, fabricated, and really digs into how this has caused so much emotional turmoil in her life.

1:40:54this woman who's a seasoned business professional, J.P. Morgan, claims she does not know where to begin. She's had to seek mental health assistance, legal assistance, which is not cheap. I'm sure she's got money. She's at J.P. Morgan, but still. And how she's not really amused by all the internet memes showing young men running by the thousand with their resumes for J.P. Morgan, wanting her to be their boss, right? It's funny to us because we're on the outside. but she's putting a real human toll on this. And one other final update, one of the stipulations, the lower, the state Supreme court judge said, he said, all right, I'll let you dismiss and refile, but you have to finally out your anonymous witnesses, uh, Mr.

1:41:39Rana, and you have to out your name. So both of those two things have happened. He's about to out his anonymous witnesses, which he hadn't. And he outed his name, your thoughts on it. Um, you know, when When somebody acts this way or is accused of acting this way, they leave a trail of bodies behind them like Weinstein, Cosby. There's always multiple, multiple victims behind them if this is how they truly act. So unless we can produce any other victims, I completely believe her. And her her latest claim, Adam, says she's never she's never been accused of doing anything like this by anyone ever.

1:42:17That would be extraordinary to put that in there if it's not true. Yes, tons of people, because you have an MO, especially when it's really specific stuff like this. It's never one and done. I mean, you think about all the predators sexually, and it's never one and done. And if it is one and done, I don't know if I believe it. It's always multiple, multiple, whether you're a pedophile or Harvey Weinstein, it's multiple, multiple victims. So if if no one's stepping forward to corroborate, I believe her. They're not. And you said that from the beginning. And I think you were 100 percent right. Great to see you, my friend.

1:42:59Thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for the laughs. We are back tomorrow with Gary Brecka. See you then. Thanks for listening to The Megyn Kelly Show. No BS, no agenda and no fear.

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