New Yorkers Overcome Obstacles - With Maryam Banikarim

17:27Maryam Banikarim:Yes, exactly. That's right. It was dire time. And I remember by that summer, I was actually at the time working at Nextdoor. So I took the job at Nextdoor, which is the app that helps you figure out who your neighbors are, where to find your lost dog. And three weeks into taking that job, COVID happened. So all of a sudden, Nextdoor was on fire in a good way and that people were using it because neighbors were your lifeline. So but by that summer, people started saying New York City was dead. And I don't know if you remember, there was a guy who wrote a famous article that circulated. I think his name was like James Altschul or something.

18:02And I said to my husband when he came back from getting groceries and then wiping them down, like, what are we going to do? And he said, what do you mean? I said, well, we have to do something to help the city because even my board of directors thought that New York was dead. And most of them lived in San Francisco. And so I had sent an email to 20 friends saying, I don't know what to do, but I'm game to figure it out. And this was, you know, when we were not leaving the house. Who's game to get on a Zoom call to try and figure out what we should do? The 20 people all said yes. I mean, we were all home in lockdown, right?

18:35So the bar was not super high, I suppose. But that Monday, we got on a call and we created a spreadsheet. We talked about all the different problems New York had, like, you know, schools needed computers. There were kids without computers. So how are they going to distantly learn? You know, there was a problem around unhoused. There was all kinds of problems. Right. But pretty quickly, we landed on this idea of, could we raise a little money from friends and family, pay the artists who are not making any money? Because if you remember in COVID, they did not have, you know, they didn't perform, they didn't get paid.

19:06Maryam Banikarim:Correct. And my husband had seen a video of Jimmy Fallon and Miley Cyrus busking in the subway in disguise and then taking off their wigs and sort of that being this like only in New York moment. So they're like, well, what if we did pop-ups like that, that we captured on digital and social as a way to say that we're still alive? So we had no idea if it was going to work or not, but we decided to at least try that. We figured we had some chance of making that work because we didn't know enough about some of the other problems that were obviously equally important. So we did one in Chelsea to test and learn.

19:39So we were somebody on the call and the group kept growing. Somebody on the call knew a Grammy award-winning jazz quartet. So we got them to come and perform. We paid them a stipend and we captured it. And then there were open-air restaurants. And so we tried to bring those in to support the restaurant. Anyway, that was the first one we did. It was like a test and learn moment. And then the next one we did was Bernadette Peters and 24 Broadway Performers.

20:01Maryam Banikarim:Yeah, I remember that specifically. Right, on the red steps of Times Square. And I think that that moment of community where we stood there and these performers sang this song Sunday from Sunday in the Park with George and tears were streaming down their face and they had masks on because it was COVID and you had COVID producers. It was really like a transforming moment for all of us involved because we said we all found purpose out of despair. I mean, it was a very dark time, but we all came together and New York City Next, which is the organization that puts on the longest table, basically all of a sudden had 700 volunteers because it gave you something to do that made you feel useful to help the city.

20:41And I definitely feel like this is the city that gave me voice and it was an opportunity to give back to it. So we did about 14 of those and then in different boroughs. And then we, the governor, Cuomo at the time, basically borrowed the idea to do a version called New York Pops. And I called and I said, why don't you take these volunteers? Because this isn't about us. It's just about New Yorkers. Then they won't move to Miami because they'll be vested. And they said, well, you know, the professionals have got it. which is also New York, New York. Right, right. Right? I mean, we're kind, but we also are a very competitive city.

21:14Correct. So we were all a little depressed. And then I think with Tom Kidd and Josh, a couple of us came up with this idea of approaching Billy Joel for the rights to New York State of Mind. It was a song he'd written in the 70s, late 80s, early 80s, at a time where New York had a lot of difficulties too. So we thought we could reimagine that song. So anyway, we do this exercise where we're miraculously able to get Billy Joel to grant us the rights to that song for free. we shoot a video with iconic New Yorkers and iconic locations and it gets released and it blows up. And then the following year we all win Emmys.

21:46It was like a totally out of body experience. But in doing all that, I sort of become interested in this idea of where these people who just step in and help, like for no reason, no gain of their own. Right. Like this woman who they call the trash queen of hell's kitchen, who was picking up garbage in hell's kitchen. Like people who just see a problem and are willing to like roll up their sleeves and help.

22:07Maryam Banikarim:Right, exactly. And so I saw a neighbor who lived in an apartment building, so he couldn't really invite people over to eat socially distantly. He put a sort of a camping table out in front of the apartment building and had a meal. Yeah, on 21st. Oh, wow. 21st. And then I saw this picture of what I now know to be Egypt and Iftar of people having a meal together out on the street. And we were on what they called in COVID a closed street, an open street, which meant it was closed. And I was like, why don't we do that? Why don't we put a table down and meet our neighbors, the ones we know and the ones we don't know?

22:37So I'd left Nextdoor by this point, and I posted it on my personal Nextdoor, got lots of positive comments. At the time, I'd been asked to quit my day job and help the Partnership for New York do the We Love New York City campaign. And I tried to do it as part of that, and they did not think that that would be appealing to their constituency. So I meet a bunch of neighbors, and one of them says, I think this is a good idea. So I go home and I say to my husband, I'm just going to try it. And he said, you know what? That is one too many. Because by this point, we'd started working together. And he was like, you know what?

23:07We're already like knee deep in this We Love New York City project. Like, really? Are we going to take on one more thing? And I was like, oh, you don't have to work on it. We're just going to do it without you. Right. Which turned out not to be the case. But so that was kind of the idea. Like, what if we do that? We had no idea if it was going to work. We rented tables and chairs. And the proposition was, we'll bring the tables and chairs. You bring friends and food. And so the first year, 500 people came, then 700, then 1 ,000. And this past year, we had over 2 ,000. But what's been amazing is that just like New York City Next was never about us, as people found out about this idea and wanted to do their own, we gave them a toolkit and some coaching to learn from our mistakes.

23:51And so this year, 50 happened across the country.

23:54Maryam Banikarim:Wow. Oh, just in New York. 15 in New York alone. I was going to say, just in New York alone is the Upper West Side. You know, there's Chelsea. I mean, I'm sorry, West Village, Astoria. I mean, they're all over. I mean, I think it's fascinating. I mean, this year I was like, wow, you know, because I love to record them. And that's how I met you. Yes. You know, and but there's too many now in a good way to record. Yeah. I mean, but not enough. Well, I also went to the one down by the Gotham Park downtown a little bit more. I forget the name. I think it was Gotham Park. I think Gotham Park. Yeah.

24:30Also, I mean, what I love is that now it's become a thing that people look forward to in Chelsea, but in other places too. And what was interesting is, you know, two happened in Harlem and I would run into people who would now go from table to table.

24:44Maryam Banikarim:Oh, Harlem, I saw it too. Yeah. And so, Eric, I remember running into in Washington Heights and then in Harlem and then in Gotham Park. Yeah. I mean, it's, and by the way, I never even knew Gotham Park existed. Like Rosa and those guys have made an amazing thing out of that underground area below the bridge. And it was amazing to experience the longest table in that space that they really revitalized, right? And so our third spaces, which is where longest tables usually happen, either a library, a street, a church parking lot, it can happen anywhere. But third spaces belong to all of us. And I think that that equalizing factor to the table and the fact that it's really organized by neighbors for neighbors is a key opportunity, right?

25:27A key opportunity for us to realize that we have agency, going back to the woman who picked up the garbage, just to do something so that the world ends up in a slightly better place than we found it.

25:37Maryam Banikarim:I agree. I love how each neighborhood I've seen via social media and in person is it's not just that, you know, people take full advantage of it. I mean, it's the whole few city blocks in their neighborhoods. And I think it's incredible. I think it's beautiful. And they're all coming together. New Yorkers hanging out together and sharing their stories. It makes a city of 8.5 million into a village. It really does. It really does. And it's changed my experience of my neighborhood in Chelsea. I'd lived there for 27 or 28 years. And in the four years I've done The Longest Table, I know way more about my neighborhood and my neighbors.

26:08I mean, not like intimately, I'm not like in their business. But I now go to the coffee shop and I can say hello to people. If I'm having a bad day, I can go out and it'll change my mood. It's led to people starting tenants associations, block associations, pride bunting. it inadvertently led to the Vanderbilt University taking over the seminary. I mean, when you connect neighbors to each other and, you know, it's probably not coincidentally, I grew up on Cheers and Friends, right? Like that idea of people near each other, sort of proximity, making us feel like we belong, which I think goes back to where I came from, right?

26:45Having lost that sense of belonging and always wanting to have that, not just for myself, but I think also for others.

26:50Maryam Banikarim:Right. And so what's amazing about The Longest Table is it's a very loose framework that people make their own. And in organizing it, they invite other people. And everybody who hosts a table or two people or 10 people makes that section of the table their own. So it's like a collective and an individual thing. I love it. One of my very good friends for years that I met in Orlando that also lives up here, Michael Begwandan, you know. On my blog. Yep, it's just a few doors down from you, you know, right there. I love to see. And honestly, I didn't know Michael until we did the longest table. Oh, really?

27:21I didn't know that.

27:21Maryam Banikarim:Yeah. And so that's the thing, like, you didn't really have a chance to interact, right? We were always running to the subway or wherever. But all of a sudden, in COVID, we had to connect to each other. But then the table creates this two-hour or three-hour window where people want to find out, like, where did you get that red velvet cake? Literally, somebody brought it from Melba's to Chelsea, right? Somebody else's mom made dumplings. Somebody else's mom made samosas. And that's what New York is about. So what's your vision for the longest table moving forward? Well, we had 50 happen last year.

27:55I think we're well on the way to have 100 happen across the country this year. I think last year we had 15 in New York. I'm going to bet we're going to have at least 30 in New York City by the time we're done. Floyd Bennett Park, they're doing one. Brooklyn. I mean, anybody who does one generally repeats. So there's a whole bunch already in the works. Just three I know of on the Upper West Side, right? and really my dream has been to do one across the Brooklyn Bridge.

28:20Maryam Banikarim:I love that dream and I know you're going to do it. No, I know I'm going to do it too. It's just a question of when. I mean, and the thing is, the reason I love the Brooklyn Bridge is, there's many reasons. One is it's an incredibly beautiful structure. Two is you bring people together across a body of water. You don't have to say we're bridging the divide, you're showing it. Right. The thing about doing an iconic one like that is that it will inspire other people to do them in the neighborhood, which is really where the magic is, right? The magic is in running into people locally. But you will inspire people.

28:52And to me, that's almost a version of the Christo Gates, right? It's like almost, I mean, it's public art in a way. Because food is like art. It's a form of art.

29:02Maryam Banikarim:I don't see it in just the United States now. I've seen it in other countries, which is incredible. But, I mean, it's not a new idea. Yeah. Like we said, right? Iftar, right? I mean, people have been breaking bread since the dawn of life, really. Whether you sat at a sofra or a table or squatted down someplace, like that's just the deal. We sit together. Sebastian Unger says tribe is like the person you're willing to share your last piece of bread with, right? And so everybody wants that. I mean, Maslow's hierarchy of needs says we all need belonging. Right. You know, right after shelter and food.

29:33So I think that the nice thing about it is you don't have to say lots of things. You can just do this and people discover each other's humanity and then they can solve the big problems. But the interesting thing is it rebuilds trust.

29:48Maryam Banikarim:It does. And we've done research three years in a row and eight out of 10 people who come meet somebody new. They feel a sense of belonging. They feel lonely. They interestingly want to get involved after coming and then they feel better about where they live. and don't we all want that? Don't we all deserve a neighborhood that feels like home, sort of like Norm and it cheers? Yeah. Who comes back to that? Yeah. Well, New York City feels like home and then we have these neighborhoods that make us feel like home. I love it. I love it. You know, real quick too, I do want to talk a second about the We Love NYC campaign.

30:19Maryam Banikarim:Yeah. I, you know, I didn't know that was you until, you know, recently since I've gotten to know you a lot more. But tell us about it. I just love it. Well, I mean, having done a lot of the New York City Next work, Kathy Wild, who at the time was the head of the Partnership for New York, had gotten to know her work and had become a fan. I think she loved the grassroots part of the whole thing. And so every so often she would ask me to go to a meeting with her. I went to meeting with her with the guy who had founded Chelsea Piers, actually Chelsea Market. And he said to her, you need to do, Michael, who used to, he sold it, I think.

30:55He said, you need to do an effort to help New York City. you need to do a marketing effort to help New York City. You can't wait for the mayor and the governor. The head of the partnership for New York sits at the intersection of the business community and the mayor and the governor. And she said, yes, I agree. Meet Miriam. And I was like, wait, what's happening? And we left and she said, like I was at a day job. We left and she said, would you consider quitting your job to help? And I said, you know, everybody loves that Billy Joel, you know, New York City Fine video. I said, Kathy, the favors are over.

31:26COVID's not in its height anymore. And that's going to be hard. We have to raise real money. And so she said she's famous for her fundraising abilities. And so she convinced me to quit my job and with my husband and a few other people for whom it was a passion project. Right. It was not a money making venture. We all dug in to come up with a campaign, really an effort to revitalize our city. And, you know, like all things, it meandered and became lots of different things. But what we ended up going to market with was this We Love New York City campaign. And we all know the iconic I Love New York Milton Laser sign.

32:01I mean, if you come from the world of marketing, you know, it's like an amazing, iconic thing.

32:06Maryam Banikarim:Worldwide known. Worldwide known. The interesting history of the I Love New York campaign is that it was a tourism campaign. And it's owned by the governor's office. And so we had to go to the governor's office to get permission because we iterated on that mark. We took the I and made it into we because it was a moment for we and not I. and then we animated the heart into emojis. And so we had to bring them along on that journey. And Graham Clifford, who worked on the typeface, actually used the lettering of the subway because we think the subway is the artery that connects all New Yorkers. Really agree.

32:41So fine. So we had a logic to it. We actually hadn't raised a ton of money. So the campaign was very much about lines and texts. And we, like all good things, we were like, it was a Hail Mary moment. Like, let's just go and see what happens. And we launched the campaign and there is vitriol for 24 hours.

33:01Maryam Banikarim:I remember. Like literally like the New Yorker, the Olsen twins, I mean, late night TV. They were all like shitting on the campaign. Now I will say, you know, first of all, nobody, nobody, nobody reads. That's how you know you broke into pop culture. Nobody reads. That's funny. And so they assumed that we were getting rid of I Love New York and replacing it with We Love New York. which is crazy because who would get rid of a Milton Glaser mark? It was supposed to live with it. And it was actually a mark for the city, not for the state. Anyway, so we, you know, founders, who was our agency partner in that, Tanya and Cheche, I mean, we all sort of had 24 hours of like, oh my God, like the world is ending.

33:43And then they came to me on a Tuesday and they said, we have an idea. So the campaign was very line heavy because we didn't have money to shoot. And so we sort of assembled like a writer's room of people with New York attitude to write lines for us. And so, for example, one line was, we get more done by 8 a.m. than Boston does in a day. I loved it.

34:05Maryam Banikarim:I loved that one. Okay. So Mark Katz, who wrote that line. I mean, you know, the mayor of Boston got on TV in Boston to take us on about that. So, you know, there was another one about we don't have room for hate except for the Red Sox. You know, that also went crazy. And so, you know, you have to be a real New Yorker to write those lines. That's not just like any copywriting. I thought they were genius. Yeah. So they came back on a Tuesday after like, it's just going crazy. People are just tearing it apart. How terrible it is. Ryan McGinnis, who I was just texting with, had done an article in the Times about how many better logos there was.

34:37I mean, it was just, it was crazy.

34:39Maryam Banikarim:I just, you know, on my social media, I was posting it too. And I just got like this much compared to what you were dealing with. It was an on-flop. It was a lot for me. Yeah. So they came back and they said, I think we should do this ad, which was we love critics. We love New York. And, you know, everyone in New York is also a critic. I mean, you know, the thing about New York is that it's amazing in its complexity. It can be kind and it can be competitive. So we put that out. And so that cultural conversation just kept going. And we leaned into the meme and we took all of the hate ones and put them together in a collage.

35:13and we got two times the impressions of a Super Bowl in 48 hours. And to this day, people will send me a screenshot of a Spike Lee movie where we have no room for hate except for the Red Sox behind them, which is not a coincidental shot because it keeps living on. And then other people, you know, they did a concert in L.A. called We Love L.A. After the Fires. Somebody sent that to me because the mark just keeps living on.

35:40Maryam Banikarim:Right. And, you know, honestly, what it did for the I Love New York mark is it made it more relevant. It didn't take it away. It actually made it more relevant, reminded people why they loved it. And it actually created energy for both marks. And really, like, it reminded us why we love New York, that we're willing to complain about it. Right. Because, you know, we also do love to do that as New Yorkers. And what year did that campaign come out? It would have been... 2021? No, it would have been 22, maybe. 22? Yeah. Yeah. Because we're kind of coming out of the pandemic at that point. Exactly.

36:11Maryam Banikarim:Yeah. Exactly. And it was a fascinating thing to work on. It was fascinating to learn about the partnership for New York. We then, I mean, founders moved on, but we stayed on and helped with a bunch of different things, including doing, one of my favorite campaigns was doing a Writer's Choice Award. Because as you know, we have all these buskers in the subway. I told you the whole New York City next started with the busking of Miley Cyrus and Jimmy Fallon. And so we said, what if we actually invited New Yorkers to vote, kind of like an American idol for like a busker, basically. Right. And so we did an effort called, what was it?

36:45It was basically about sort of the people who busk on the subway. And so I got to learn a lot about that. And then we had three finalists and one of them won and they got a nice check. And it was, I mean, there's so many things that are incredible about New York. So many. It's actually hard to pick.

37:00Maryam Banikarim:I agree. I just by luck happened to catch, oh gosh, what's her name? You ought to know the singer. I say her name all the time. And now I can't remember. I'm having one of those days where I remember nothing. Oh, geez, what's her name? I caught her and Jimmy Fallon in the subway. And then they took off their. And Ed Sheeran did it not that long ago. Yeah. So it was Alanis Morrison. Alanis Morrison. With Jimmy Fallon. And I just happened to be there. Well, I saw something happening. I mean, I saw them setting up kind of like fixing the lights and everything. So I knew I'm like, this is something.

37:37Maryam Banikarim:So I did. But it was still we didn't know who it was. People said, oh, you know what's happening. I'm like, I had no idea who it was or what was happening and no idea. And then Jimmy Fallon and Alanis Morissette came down. And it was I was right up front. And it was really one of my favorite moments in the city. It was magic. And honestly, that moment where I stood in Times Square and I watch Bernadette Peters and the 24 Broadway performers sing that song. I mean, at a time where there were not that many people out, I remember thinking, how did a 12-year-old Iranian immigrant kid get here? I mean, it really was that moment of like, That's really powerful what you just said.

38:12Maryam Banikarim:I love it. How did that happen? Right? And there were actually, there was construction going on, and we were going to be recording it, and we had to go up to the Teamsters and ask them if they would pause for just five minutes, which was the length of the song. I mean, it just required a lot of orchestration. Right. And so many people who gave of themselves, including Gary Vayner, who gave us free PR, Clear Channel, who gave us boards, Andrew Gollum, who did ads that we put up on the Clear Channel boards, you know, Tom Kidd, who orchestrated it, along with Michael McElroy, all the performers who sang.

38:42It was really just a dark time, but also an incredibly profound time.

38:48Maryam Banikarim:This shows how New Yorkers always band together, no matter what happens. But don't you remember they were like doing the pans and then there was the Broadway singer who was singing out his window. I mean, you know, that is kind of the energy of New York. It took me back to when we were clanging our pans. Yeah, it's 7 o 'clock. Yeah, it's 7 p.m. for the essential workers. Essential workers. So let's talk about your podcast, Miriam. I love your podcast. You had me on as a guest. I'm so grateful. And tell us all about it. You know, I'd had this idea. I've always loved other people's stories. I mean, as a marketer, you know, you're a storyteller.

39:25And I really do love other people's stories more than my own, which is why it's funny being on somebody else's podcast. And so I played with an idea of, you know, a podcast I wanted to do. Could I do it as an intergenerational podcast? I had many ideas that are on the cutting room floor. But last year, at the beginning of the year, I had the chance to have access to a studio. And so I decided to just try it. I mean, like the longest table, I had no idea if it was going to work. There was no business plan. There was no real idea. It was just a let's wing it.

39:56Maryam Banikarim:Until I get it. And with my husband, who I have to give him a lot of credit because he's come along, both the New York City Next and Longest Table and now the podcaster. You know, I thought I would see your husband here today, too. Oh, well, no, he's doing Longest Table calls at home. He's home working. He's home working. So he said, let's just try it. And so we started off. I think Vicki Freeman might have been my first guest. She's a New Yorker. She's the one who owns Vicks and Cookshop and Shuket. She came on and said yes, right? With like, you have no history, no knowledge, whatever. The first person who says yes, and she's not my best friend.

40:27So that was amazing. And we shot three or four episodes in Newstance Studios at Rockefeller Center. And then the setup was a little too constraining. So we pivoted to shooting in the house. And now we shoot in the Brownstone in Chelsea.

40:39Maryam Banikarim:Which is beautiful. Which is, you know, I say to people all the time, I'm grateful for my husband. because not many husbands at 6 a.m. would be pushing the sofa around to make room for a podcast. You know, real quick, I walked into your home to do the podcast as a guest and I walked in and I'm like, this place is gorgeous. It's this beautiful brownstone. Yeah, go ahead. But you know, we moved, we literally moved the dining room table where the couch is and the couch is. I mean, it's a whole thing, right? And so it's like a labor intensive move besides the fact that, you know, we hadn't produced a podcast before and I have to say, we have an amazing store on B &H because my husband spent a lot of hours there to figure out what kind of equipment to use.

41:16And good thing we called it the messy parts, which by the way, it started off being called chapters and choices. So, you know, like when I say things are messy and if you wait for perfect, you'll never go. So we started off with chapters and choices, four weeks in, we decided with the messy parts. We probably shot for six months before we released our first episode. So there was like fits and starts. And then we did, we've now recorded 40 episodes, 26 that happened from June till December. and then we started again in February. And it's honestly so fun to do. But part of the reason I do it is because as somebody who sort of was fortunate enough to rise up sort of the ranks in the corporate world, which, you know, I recognize as an immigrant is not such an easy thing necessarily to do because I've been in rooms with very successful Iranians who've made way more money than me, but who did it sort of independently.

42:06And they're always like, how did you make it work in corporate America? And I honestly never thought about it. It was kind of like the puzzle in the obstacle course, right? I just sort of put one in front of the other. But for sure, you were an other in that environment, and you had to sort of navigate a world that was unknown.

42:22Maryam Banikarim:Right. But anyway, the reason I like doing it is because when it's just us, when you're with somebody else who's been a CEO or a CMO or a CFO, and things haven't worked out and it's just us, they'll tell you about the real story. But when you look on LinkedIn or Instagram or when somebody's giving a keynote or a TED Talk, it just looks so easy. And the truth is, it is never easy. It's always messy. And it's particularly messy for certain people more so than other people. But even for the ones who, you know, Mickey Drexler was on the other day. He was an iconic merchant prince. He turned around the gap, made it into a billion dollar company.

42:59And he still talks about being fired at the gap by Don Fisher on what was basically a sticky. Right. So it's messy. right and I think the more we normalize that conversation the more we acknowledge that you know and I got on a cast hire it was on SNL right her up I loved you that podcast with her too that she's like you know I do an audition I don't get it what am I going to do like roll up like a ball forever no I give myself 24 hours a bottle of wine and a Xanax and then I got to pull my right right

43:24Maryam Banikarim:right and I was I was thinking gosh you know people who you know want to you know who look at these people who like Anna who's on SNL and stuff. And then went from SNL to Wicked. Yeah, and then they don't think of their lives as normal like ours, you know? And she was just talking frankly and I loved her story. And I think that, look, honestly, I think everybody has a story. Right. It's a question of whether you're willing to listen. And I don't spend a lot of time talking about myself on the podcast. You don't hear me for 20 minutes before I ask the question because really you're coming on to hear the story of somebody who's amazing.

44:00Maryam Banikarim:Completely agree. You hear a little bit of my story in the sense that I will say, oh, yeah, when you're, you know, somebody, Vanessa Barboni was on, she went from Morgan Stanley to having her own fashion line called Another Tomorrow. And she said, you know, when I was 17 or 16, my mother committed suicide. And so I no longer decided to be an architect. I decided to be an economics major. Yeah, because she had to go pay her bills all of a sudden. And I said, my father passed away when I was 17. And yeah, me too. I ended up making a different choice. So I share my story in the way to say, you're not alone.

44:32Maryam Banikarim:Correct. But not because I want the podcast to be about me. And I think that'll be an interesting thing as to whether that's a good strategy or not. I don't know. You know, there's so many people who do face on camera things and I'm constantly being told to do that, but I don't like hearing myself talk. That's interesting you say that because that's, I ask my parents that sometimes because they're honest, you know, and Jay's honest too. It's important. I don't ever want it to be about me, you know? So that's my concern too. I'm very aware of, same thing. But look, you're a very big influencer content creator, but you don't post about yourself.

45:07Maryam Banikarim:Well, it's about New York. I know, but what I'm saying to you is there's a lot of people. Correct. You never see me, my face. I can get on TV and espouse about Iran. I mean, my expertise is in the fact that I live there. Okay, I studied international affairs in graduate school. But really, I do sort of believe like you have to have a baseline of knowledge before you become an expert. Well, that's a good point. People often do say you need to show your face more. I'm like, it isn't about me. I don't want it to be about me. It's about all of our shared love for New York City. And then the New York City Cup umbrella now is, you know, the podcast talking to my awesome guests such as yourself to learn about you and New York City through you as well and your experiences in New York City and you and everything.

45:47So I don't know.

45:48Maryam Banikarim:It's just I just never want it to be about me either. That's interesting. We have that commonality. Yeah. I wonder if that is that because we were sort of, you know, in some ways we're both misfits, right? Like, I know your story, you know, my story. And I think that like, you know, like I was always making sure there was room at the table. Me too. Right. Well, you definitely do. Yeah. So I think it must come from that. Right. Because thousands of room at the table for you. Yeah. I say like pull up a chair. Yeah. So I think that, again, I don't know. It's one of these things. Right. And so sometimes, of course, I mean, you know, I was a professional marketer and a professional C-suite executive.

46:23So sometimes, of course, I do the talks or whatever. But honestly, I want you to hear all these incredible stories of which there's so many.

46:31Maryam Banikarim:I completely agree. I think you and I are, you know, exactly on the same page with this because I just want people to learn about other people. I want to learn more about people. You know, I've never, I think innately too, I've never been judgmental of anybody because I want to get to know you. It's important to me to get to know people. Curious. That's all what it's about, you know? Like I never, I just want to know if you can make me laugh. That's all I care about. The other night we went to a restaurant and in our neighborhood cook shop. Obviously. Yeah. We went to cook shop. We usually sit at the bar or sort of at the high tops at the front because it's, I like to see the action.

47:08Maryam Banikarim:Yeah. And also it's a little quieter. Anyway, I said to the, I said to Randall, who's one of the managers, I was like, you know, I've noticed that there's a lot of regulars who come. I'm like totally obsessed with Cheers and Friends. Yeah. So I said, you know, they come and they sit at the bar and eat alone and they're on their phones. But I think there's an opportunity to connect them. And maybe they don't want to talk because they have work to do or they want to be left alone. But maybe they do, but they don't feel comfortable. Right. What are they going to do? Turn to the person to the right and the left?

47:36And my husband's like, yeah, because you do.

47:38Maryam Banikarim:And he's right. I do too. Because I'll say to the person next to me, like, would you like my fries? I'm not going to finish it. And my dad was like, oh my God, mom, don't do that. That's so funny, Miriam. Yeah. I said to Randall, he said, oh, that seems awkward. What am I going to say to the person who I think is a regular? And so he went to go get something from the back. And when he came back, I was talking to one of the regulars. I said, I'm going to show you. And I said, are you a regular? I'm Miriam. I'm also a regular. I do the longest table. I just thought it'd be fun. Right, right. Those of us who eat here at the bar, if we came in, we knew somebody.

48:08Kind of like Norman Cheers. It all comes back to that for me.

48:11Maryam Banikarim:I think one of the most important things for me is just to be inclusive of everyone. I think that's what you are. That's how you are, too. You know, it's important. What would it cost you? Nothing. Yeah, completely. Right. And so I think like life is not a zero sum game. And if you make room, it actually makes it better. And by the way, it's selfishly, it makes it better for me. It makes me a better person. Exactly. Better is the key word. You know, it gives me more joy. Right. Exactly. So I'm like, let's say I'm not saying this is like I'm an altruist. I'm like, it actually makes me feel better.

48:41So maybe it's selfish.

48:42Maryam Banikarim:Yeah. Or maybe it's both. You can hold two competing ideas at once. You know, I guess, I guess that's a good way to be selfish. If you're going to be selfish, be kind to people. I mean, you know, that's how, that's how. I'm a believer in Mr. Rogers, you know? Yeah, me too. But let's, let's, you know, that's my religion. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I share the same philosophy. We have the same religion. I'm going to close it out by telling you that today's my anniversary. 29 years. Wow. I met my husband at 116th Street and Broadway on the subway. How about that for a New York story? What? Yes. Uh-huh.

49:15We met on the subway and we got married in Tribeca at Montrachet at a restaurant. And there's all these pictures that Terry Gruber, who I met and became friends with, took of us on the street with our guests. I mean, it was a small wedding. It was like 96 people. But, you know, we're having this. Okay. You know, it's not like an Indian wedding. I mean, not that I'm Indian, but I could have like hundreds of people at my wedding. But it's such a classic New York story because today I was posting my wedding pictures on Instagram because I'm learning to be a content creator not quite like you. And I was looking at all these pictures of us when Montrachet was still in Tribeca, like down on Walker Street, and all these New Yorkers like on the street together.

49:56And you know, there's not a day where I don't fall in love with the city all over again.

50:00Maryam Banikarim:That's a great New York story right there. Can you tell us how you met though? I know you're on the subway, but what happened? We both, I was with a girlfriend, Gaty. We got on the subway. We're coming from Columbia and we recognized him from our economics class. It sounds much less interesting. But we recognized him and we didn't know what the homework was. So we asked him if he knew what it was. And that's how we met. Yeah. You're like, what's your homework? And he told you, you're like, yeah. I can't remember if he, I don't remember that part of the story, but I remember we got on the subway.

50:33He lived on 86th Street. And so we - What train? The one and the nine.

50:38Maryam Banikarim:Yep. Is the nine still around? We're now just called the one. I still have subway tokens. So we got on and he said, where are you going? And Iranians tend to be very hospitable. They don't really mean it, but they're hospitable. It's like cultural. We call it tar off. It's like, please stay. Or like you say, I like your necklace. You're like, take it. I mean, they don't actually mean it, but it's like a cultural thing. And so he said, where are you going? I said, we're going to the movies. And of course, being like how I was raised, I was like, oh, well, you're welcome to come. And he said, no, I have plans.

51:08Anyway, he got off the subway. We kept going. And my girlfriend, Gaty, said, oh, you do know that he thinks you asked him out. And I was like, what? Oh, my God. So the next day, I get into class in the economics class, and he comes in, and I'm just looking down like, no, don't think I was asking you out. And then he came over and asked if I would study with him. And then he said, what are you doing Saturday night? And I was actually going to Rita Nerona's birthday party, as one does in New York, somewhere in the, not tunnel, but some nightclub that had a Cadillac on the roof. And he said, oh, I'll come.

51:39And I remember saying, who is this guy who's just inviting himself along? And so our first date was at a nightclub with Rita, who was at the time a New York City ballet dancer. And he came out to a nightclub and we danced. And let me tell you something. He likes to be in bed by nine o 'clock. So that was a total fake out. And that is also a New York story.

51:58Maryam Banikarim:Oh, that's nice. And the rest is history. And the rest is history. Oh, I love it. Well, I just want to say thank you for being on the show. Thank you for asking me. This was so amazing. Your energy is so infectious and you're just an amazing person. Okay, rapid fire questions, Miriam. You ready? Yep. Subway or Uber? No, Subway. Well, that's where you met your husband. It's your anniversary. It has to be the Subway. My family makes fun of me because of how much I love the Subway. I do too, though. I do love the Subway too. I don't want to be stuck in traffic. I want to be with other people. I think the best street fashion is on the Subway.

52:34Endless possibilities.

52:35Maryam Banikarim:I agree. One NYC view that never gets old? Every single one. There's not one that I don't love. Coffee meeting in Midtown or walk and talk in Central Park? Oh, walk and talk in Central Park. Do you have a favorite spot in Central Park or you just love the whole thing? I just love the whole thing. I do too. Early morning city person or late night NYC energy? I'm going to take both. I agree. One word that captures NYC for you? Energy. Wow. You're good. You're really good. If NYC had a soundtrack, what song is playing? New York State of Mind. You know what I knew you were going to say that? I definitely knew that.

53:20Maryam Banikarim:Best season in New York City? Fall and spring. I mean, honestly, they're all good in different ways. Yeah. We have a lot of the same mindset here. When people ask me questions like this, I basically answer the same way. I love it. and so what keeps you inspired about New York City after all these years? I think that anybody, you can be a New Yorker who was born here and you can be a New Yorker who moves here. I think the fact that you can come here and make it your own and it's the ultimate melting pot, right? It's like the ultimate place where you can create your destiny. And so what I love is that we're a city of misfits.

53:59We all sort of come together and find our own way And that's, to me, that tapestry is beautiful.

54:05Maryam Banikarim:So you lived in New York City how long now? I moved here in 1985. Wow. When Madonna went to the Palladium. Did you see her at the Palladium? Have you been to the Palladium? Oh my God, yes. My first internship in New York was style with Elsa Clunch. Oh, wow. Yeah, that really dates me. That's so awesome. Yeah. And so I learned early to be a fast talker. And so I would call different nightclubs and get us on the guest list. Yep. I'm calling from style with Elsa Clench. And then I would get there. They'd be like, where's Elsa? And I'd like have some quick thing to say, oh, she'll be right here. And then the four of us would come in as one does.

54:41You know, there were so many things that you could, to this day, I'm always amazed by the many different ways you can live your life in New York City. I'd spend most of my time downtown. Two days ago, I went to have coffee with a friend on the Upper East Side in the land of private clubs, Maximes. I was like, there's so many different worlds in New York that you can come in and out of.

55:02Maryam Banikarim:I agree. And I like looking in, and I also love taking the subway to Astoria and getting a good meal there and seeing the incredible diversity in the grocery stores. Like, I just think there's so many things. What's not to like? I love walking through Astoria. Oh my God. I love Bay Ridge. You know, my one and only viral social clip was the day we were doing The Longest Table, and they had forgotten to pick up the garbage. So we were just desperate for the garbage sanitation to show up. And, you know, honestly, I'm grateful for sanitation because I'm like, you know, that is a job that's hard. So anyway, they showed up and we started clapping, me and Jim, who helps with the longest table.

55:40We were clapping for them. We were so excited that they were there. And then I don't even know, I must have been on the We Love New York City campaign. I whipped out my camera and asked them if I could ask them a couple of questions. And they were both named Joe. And one of them was from Staten Island. And then I asked them pizza or bagel. And then their favorite restaurant, their favorite restaurant was in Staten Island. That clip went viral. I mean, it just blew up. I love it. And then I took the team who worked on We Love New York City to Staten Island to the restaurant that was one of Joe's favorite restaurants.

56:09And it was so amazing.

56:11Maryam Banikarim:That is pretty amazing. And that is what I love about New York. Max Eska. It was just incredible. That's amazing. Well, that's a great story to end the conversation with the podcast. Yes. Miriam, you're awesome. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm going to do this again. We really do. Anytime. So Miriam, we here at the New Yorkers, before we let you go, want to know what it means to you, Miriam Banakaram, to be a New Yorker. I mean, to me, this is a story of endless possibility and energy and diversity. There's nothing like it. And so I have to say, I used to make lists of things I was passionate about, and New York was always on the top three.

56:49There's something magical about this city. It never goes to sleep. When there was a blizzard, I was so excited to go to the diner because it's always open. You never feel lonely. You can be by yourself and with other people. And there's just endless adventures. I can be a tourist in my own city. I can go to Bed-Stuy. I can go to Bushwick. I can go to Astoria. I can go to Staten Island. There's just so many things to do. So, you know, I came here for college. I was a kid in a candy shop then. And I remain a kid in a candy shop. And so that's what I love about the city.

57:25Maryam Banikarim:I love it. That's really nice. That's beautiful. Thank you. It's the truth. Yeah. We all love it. Thank you for joining us today for this week's episode of the New Yorker's podcast, Miriam. Why don't you let everyone know where they can find you on social media? You can find me on Instagram at mbanakaram. I'm also on TikTok, LinkedIn, and you can find the longest table on its website or the messy parts. We're all over all social media. Nice. Once again, I'm your host, Kelly Kopp, also known as New York City Kopp, all across my social media. Please like and subscribe to the New Yorkers podcast, and you can follow the New Yorkers on social media at the New Yorkers podcast.

58:01Maryam Banikarim:You can leave a rating or a comment to let us know how you are enjoying the show, my friends. We read through all your comments and DMs, so please, we would love to hear from you. Thank you, Queen57, NYC for Free, who is Rebecca, who was a guest on the show as well, and Jen from the city who I've known for years, a dear friend, for your kind words on the last episode. If you want to be featured at the end of an episode, leave a rating on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify. And thank you, Maria Cecilia Boulay. Did I say that? You sure did. And thank you, Maria Cecilia Boulay, Pick Your Flavors Aprons and Brittany Eliza.

58:38Photo for your comments on Facebook.

58:41Maryam Banikarim:Have a lovely day and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. Bye. This is the last stop on this train. Everyone, please leave the train. Thank you for riding with MTA New York City Transit.