166: Life Updates, Parenting, and Social Media Detox with Stef Bare

22:40Nick Bare:Yeah, I mean, it's like super powerful. And the conviction is probably put on your heart for - For a reason. For a reason. Yeah, and not everybody will feel that, but I do. So I'm just leaning into that. Yeah, I think that's awesome. That's great. Next thing I want to talk about, our morning routine. Yeah. Again, a lot of the questions that came in through this Instagram question box, was how we balance our own personal fitness and health and raising children and work and just all these things in life. Like right now we have a pretty dialed morning routine. Yeah. So I think we should share that because our goal with our morning routine is that we both get our workouts in.

23:26Most days for me, yeah. Most days we get a good meal in.

23:32Nick Bare:Yeah. We spend time with our kids. Bible time. Bible time. It's not rushed. Ideally, it's still chaotic. Yeah. The mornings are still absolute chaos. And I want to preface the rest of this conversation and episode with, we're not sharing this stuff to say that we haven't figured out. Yeah. And that life is all like rainbows and butterflies and peaceful and calm. No, our house is chaos. Oh, there was tears at 6.52 this morning. And like this past weekend, we had the most epic meltdown ever trying to go into Home Depot. Like we didn't even make it through the parking lot into Home Depot. We had to turn around.

24:17Go home.

24:17Nick Bare:There's a meltdown over which shopping cart we were taking. So Charlie was losing it and then Nico was losing it. He was scared of his sister. So we threw everyone in their car seats and we drove home. Yeah. So by no means. But I think the important thing is that we make the effort to try to get it as peaceful and fulfilling as possible. But is that always the case? I would say it's 50-50. Yeah, there's a lot of meltdowns. Yeah, but when it goes right, it's a great morning. So you start because you wake up before us. All right, so my alarm goes off between 4.30 and 5 a.m. There's really not much rhyme or rhythm.

24:59Nick Bare:it's like how rested do I feel the day before yeah if I feel rested well let's start the night before though truly I feel that's kind of really important about the morning because we've been going to bed earlier yeah and cut out a lot of stuff I mean I would love to go to bed even earlier but when I come in that room at 8 45 and you already have your sleep mask on I'm like you slap that thing back on your face and I'm like we are talking yeah so evening routine after we get both kids down, which is anywhere from 7.45 to 8.30. Getting both kids down asleep. We rotate. We do. Yeah. So like Monday, for example, which was yesterday, I put Charlie down, you put Nico down.

25:45Nick Bare:And then tonight you'll put Charlie down. I'll put Nico down. Because it's more, it's long winded putting our toddler down or I guess they're both toddlers now, but our three and a half year old, that's a longer process. So we give each other breaks every other night yeah nico gets thrown in his crib and it's like you do that you're gonna put yourself down i do not do that but you do but whatever he's resilient yeah making the boy resilient so once we get the kids down uh we we had we preheat the sauna after dinner so after the kids go down we both go out in the backyard and we sauna for 15 to 20 minutes and then come in the house, shower, make lunches for the next day.

26:29Nick Bare:I prep my food. We prep Charlie's lunch if she's going to school the next day. And then we both typically have a snack. My go-to snack right now before bed is I do one of those 2 % Faye Greek yogurts, the individual cups. Oh, I know. I go through those like crazy. Then I add cacao nibs, organic cacao nibs on top, maple syrup, honey. Sometimes if my fat was low for the day, I'll add some peanut butter on there. And then sometimes on top of it, I'll either have an avocado with - Everything but the bagel seasoning. Sea salt or everything but the bagel seasoning. Yeah. I've been transitioning away from everything but the bagel seasoning because of what it does to my breath before going to bed.

27:15Yep. Thank you for that. Or if I ran more that day

27:20Nick Bare:or I have a bigger on the next day, all the pieces of sourdough with some butter and flaky sea salt on top. I look forward to that meal, that snack every night. What's your go-to? I don't always have a snack. You should share the cookie dough recipe. Oh yeah, that's this gal that I love. Her name's Alec Treffers. It's her recipe. Protein cookie dough. It's just oat flour. It's equal ratios. It's very easy to remember. Two tablespoons oat flour, two tablespoons PB2 two tablespoons monk fruit sweetener which is like a powdery like stevia type thing just give a protein powder sea salt and then you just add water until it gets to like a thick cookie dough you know consistency and then you add some chocolate chips put it in the fridge or freezer for like 30 minutes and that is like I mean you've tried it it's good it is so good and it's got like 30 grams protein so I always if I am having a snack it's like a high protein sweet treat I don't crave, you know, the savory stuff you do at night.

28:25But anyway.

28:26Nick Bare:Avocado and Greek yogurt. It's my go-to. So then after that snack, I make my way into bed, which is typically, I'm typically in bed before you. And we have an eight sleep on our bed, which cools our mattress down to a certain temperature. And then I'll read until I get tired. Typically read my Bible. And then I'll throw my eye mask on. Yeah. And I rack out. Yep. What about you? Oh, I shower. Sometimes I don't shower after the sauna. I'll jump in the pool. I'll rinse off and then get into bed. Yeah, I did not know that. So now I will be a stickler on that with you. It's disgusting. I, yeah, I just shower.

29:14And then I do my skincare routine. And then I come in and have your sleep mask on. And that's when I'll still try to talk to you through the sleep mask.

29:23Nick Bare:That's my biggest pet peeve. And then. That's when I'm trying to sleep. And I don't even take my sleep mask off. I know. It's quite annoying. There's been a couple of times where I'm like, give me your eyes. And then I, what do I do? I keep my phone in the bathroom overnight, which is great. I love that. So I don't scroll at night in bed. I've been doing that for a while. And then I, what else do I do? Oh, I have these. I've been doing this since Charlie's been born. It was a gift that was given to me. And I got it for myself again with Nico. I have these two little books. they're called one line a day books we're really getting into the details here I have these two little books for each kid one for each kid that I write just one line a day about that kid just like a funny thing they did and it's really fun too because I'll read to you oh three years ago Charlie did this and brings you right back to that moment and I've done it every single day for each kid which is really cool so I do that and then I sometimes put on my red light mask and then I go to bed alright so we set the conditions And we try to be asleep.

30:20Nick Bare:Ideally by 9.30. Yeah. The other night I was absolutely tanked. I was in bed by like 8.45. Well, we've had some rough sleep nights with the kids, but yeah. Yeah, it's past week. Past weekend, we didn't sleep much with the kids. So ideally in bed by 9.30. Next morning, my alarm goes off between 4.30, 5 a.m. I go out in the kitchen. I slug a scoop of G1M Sport, a scoop of G1M Sport Plus. and then I go and sit in front of the red light in our closet for 15 minutes, butt naked. I'm just standing there naked in front of the red light. Unnecessary detail. Got to get that red light all over me. And then from there, I go out in the garage, throw my running shoes on, go for my run.

31:05And then as I'm coming back,

31:07Nick Bare:it's typically between 6.15 and 6.30, you're waking up. Yeah. Yep. So I would say it's changed a little bit since I've changed my workouts a little bit. They're a little bit longer than they used to be. So I would say like three days a week, I try to work out first thing in the morning in our garage. And I try to make those days, days Charlie does not have school because getting in a workout on a school morning can be rushed. And no one does well with a rushed morning. So if I'm working out in the morning, my number goes off at six. and then I'll get up, get ready, go get, no, not get ready, but I'll get electrolytes in, all of that good stuff.

31:48Cup of decaf coffee. I've been holding caffeine until the afternoons for the last four months. It's been great. Sit in front of the red light, read my Bible. That's when you are either chilling or most days the kids are getting up and you get the kids up and then I'll come out. And that's when I, if I'm working out, I'll work out from like 7.15 to 8. and then come in and then it's off to the races with getting Charlie ready for school, breakfast, all the things. But like today, I'm, you know, working out later today. So I slept in a little bit and just had a slow morning with the kids. But I think for me, yeah, I like working out first thing in the morning, but I know it's not what's best for our family all the time.

32:31So that's when I'll hold it, you know, like today I'm holding it. It was just a better morning because of that. But the only way I can do that though, is we have nanny that comes in at, she comes in at different times, but she helps us and she watches Nico while like I'm working out here. So, and I pick up Charlie from school. So that's a blessing to have. And we have help. We don't have family around to help us off the cuff. So we, you know, realized we were going to be out of state with kids. Like we got to hire some good help and we have awesome help that's given us a lot of free time. But I feel like that's very important to be transparent about that.

33:09I'm able to sometimes push my workouts because I have help.

33:12Nick Bare:Yeah. So when I come back from my run and you've made your coffee, you're going back in the closet, the bedroom to red light, read your Bible. I'm making my breakfast, which I'm a creature of habit. So it's the same thing every day. Right now it's four dried figs, 150 grams of blueberries, two duck eggs, three chicken eggs. There's some flaky sea salt on top of there with some freshly shaved Parmesan cheese. Take my supplements, which is creatine, strong multi, strong omega, strong joints, endurance essentials, a probiotic. And then typically, I mean, this is like 90 % of the time, the kids are then waking up at that point.

34:07Nick Bare:So I get Charlie up, get Nico up. As they're getting up and kind of just like running all over the house, you go out and hit your workout. Yep. Come back and then we're all together. It's like a high five switch. Yep. For like the next part of the morning, I'm getting ready to go to work and then you take over with the kids. Yeah. So our morning routine right now is pretty dialed. There's definitely like the rare occasion like this past weekend when Charlie woke up at like midnight. Yeah. That's when you know it's bad. Woke up at midnight. I ended up going into her room, sleeping in her bed the whole night.

34:46Nick Bare:I tried sneaking out. Because you were out of town and I had a rough night the night before. Yeah. Yeah. So I tried sneaking out of the room earlier on. Yeah. And like she is such a light sleeper that I just cannot get out of the room. so that that morning like what you doing went to crap so it happens but like pretty consistently that is our morning routine yeah monday through almost like saturday or sunday yeah and i think it's i think it's really important to note too because i will i'll get dms or i don't know if you know people ask you how do you guys both work out like we can't fit it both in like a lot of mom has been like, how am I ever going to work out?

35:31And a huge part of what works for us, and I'm super grateful for you in this sense, is you sacrifice sleep. And it's like, we had to kind of like take a look at who you and I are and you operate a lot better. Or at least you just, you know, put on that way with littler sleep than I do.

35:50Nick Bare:I'm willing to consume more caffeine. Yeah, exactly. So you wake up at 430, which sucks. Like I wouldn't want to do that. And That is a huge sacrifice that you make to make our mornings peaceful. And I'm really grateful for that. So that's like my biggest pieces of advice is someone has to sacrifice something. Or you can switch, you know. But that's why our mornings, we're able to do those things. Because you wake up so early. If we were both waking up at six, we couldn't get our workouts in. No. You're waking up an hour and a half before me. I mean I see that as A responsibility of The man of a household though Something about this on my run this past week Like what it means to be a man And certain characteristics and traits Leader Warrior And servant And it is my job as the man of the house To serve our family Yeah And to sacrifice and I don't say I had to to get like a pat on the back but that's a man's job yeah it's to be a servant to his wife and family and children so just it's part of the responsibility yeah yeah you waking up at 4 30 is absolutely serving me thanks honey you're welcome I look forward to the day though that and that's the thing too it's a season you know it's a season yeah it's a season yeah but like that routine sets us up for success.

37:23Yeah.

37:24Nick Bare:And I think it's great that you did mention, like we do have help. Yeah. We have a nanny who is extremely helpful. The dream is that one day your mom and dad are living close to us. That'd be the dream, yeah. And we have more support from family. Yeah. We both grew up really close to grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. We just don't have that. Yeah. Yeah, and we have so many friends here locally that have that. And I forget sometimes how big of a blessing and convenience that can be. You can go on a last minute date night. You can say yes to the last minute concert tickets because you have somebody that you can just be like, hey, grandma.

38:05And while we have an awesome relationship with our nanny and we could do that, I don't like to do that to her because it's her job and there's boundaries and all that. So we knew that we needed somebody to help us out with no hands here at all. Because besides her, there's no hands other than us, truly. No one's ever watched our kids besides my mom or her. So I think that's really important to not hide that or give anybody false expectations. Like we have help and it is used and appreciated.

38:41Nick Bare:Yeah, we're very fortunate and grateful. Yeah. to be able to hire help. Because I know that a lot of people don't have that ability. Yeah. Yeah. And it's great too. It's flexible help too. All of weeks where I'm like, I just want to spend every morning with the kids. And sometimes weeks are busier. Sometimes there's more projects or stuff going on. So we needed that trustworthy person. All right. So I want to get into your new current fitness routine. Yeah. But before we do, I think this will tee up that approach. Baby number three. What's the plan for baby number three? We got two right now. We got a three and a half year old daughter, one and a half year old son.

39:28Yeah.

39:29Nick Bare:Which the dynamic between or the contrasting difference between a boy and a girl, it's wild. I know. Our son is crazy. I was thinking about this last night as I was changing him after the bath. When you were looking at his chipped tooth? Boys, little boys. That tells you anything? It's a raising of an animal. It is a feral animal. But here's the thing. I think we have it like double. We feel it double because I talk to people with firstborn sons and some are wild, but they're not that wild. We have a second born, which tends to be more wild. Son, which tends to be more wild. So we're just double dipping in the chaos of a little boy.

40:17Nick Bare:Like Nico is currently trying to burn our house down. He's playing with the stove gas burners constantly. The other day we found him in the back of a cabinet in the laundry room. He's sprinting everywhere. he wants to go everywhere he can't go he's pure boy he gets jacked up over lawnmowers trucks tractors dogs I was putting him down or getting him dressed last night as you were getting Charlie dressed post bath and after the bath he gets all jacked up with energy so I'm like putting his diaper on, putting his jammies on and I lift him up and he's all jacked up with energy and he just takes a bite out of my neck, like gripping my neck.

41:18Like Mike Tyson, do you?

41:19Nick Bare:He is so strong and aggressive at times. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's wild. He's just like constantly like. So that being said, baby number three, I'm indifferent if we have a boy or girl. I've been like that with every kid so far. I'd be fine with all girls. I'd be fine with all boys. I really don't care what gender we have. But the plan is that we're going to start trying for baby number three this spring. Yeah. Because you're trying to time it up with the - The time of year. The time of year of giving birth. Yeah. But it also feels naive to say because it's like we've had two totally different journeys.

41:58We had a year-long situation trying for Charlie that ended in an IUI. and then we got pregnant with Nico on the first try. So I have no idea what we're getting ourselves into as far as the journey goes. I've been trying to, you know, blood work, get all the things, make sure I'm healthy and ready. But yeah, I wanted a little bit bigger of an age gap this time because our kids are exactly two years apart. And that's, it's been a lot for sure. But yeah, we know we want a third, God willing. We have no idea what that's going to look like at all. but we're ready for it to be a possibility soon. I'm excited.

42:39Although I keep telling you whenever I like pray about our family, the Lord gives me the number four. So I don't know what that means but I'm done with pregnancies after this one. I will tell you that because I don't enjoy it.

42:51Nick Bare:We've been told. It's hard. By many people that we're going to have twins. Don't say it. With this next birth. Yeah, we've had some weird, weird, like, I don't want to call it a prophecy, but like lots of different people tell us, oh, this next will, they'll be twins. I mean, hey, that would be four. That would, I can't even think about that. I was initially not necessarily against having a third, but I wasn't like super excited about having a third. I don't think anybody is when you're in the trenches of a newborn. It's hard. Even I, right? Remember, I think in the delivery room, I was like, we're done.

43:32Family of four. Bear, party of four.

43:35Nick Bare:Yeah. And then it just shifts. But then I got home and I immediately looking at Nico was like, we're not complete. But I needed you to come to that term on your own. I didn't want to push it on you or force it on you. Yeah. And now I want a huge family. I just want a chaotic, busy, messy, loud home. Yeah. And I think initially what held me back from that was that I thought, But because everyone described to me, when you have two, it's man oh man. When you go beyond two, now you're playing zone. Trying to manage all these kids running around the house. But in reflection, I think what was holding me back from wanting a third selfishly is that I thought it would take away from my own personal and professional wants, desires, ambitions.

44:24Yeah.

44:24Nick Bare:and that was such a selfish way to think about it yeah you know i just want an abundance of blessings i think i'm done with pregnancies after this one i'm getting old we'll see we'll see but yeah we're on the same page i'm excited charlie has been very vocal about it having to be a girl and i think we will have one of those like viral video situations at a gender reveal if it is a boy she will melt down. Yeah, you're probably right. She's telling it. I mean, yesterday at dance, her dance teacher was like, she's talking about her baby sister. I'm like, I'm not pregnant. I'm like, but she's just out there telling everybody.

45:08Nick Bare:Charlie lives the most imaginary life, which I love. Yeah, she doesn't exist in reality much, but it's really sweet and cute to watch. So baby three, baby number three, potentially coming. Okay. This is so weird. You're announcing it and it hasn't happened. We're going to start trying. Just so everybody knows. In the spring of 2026. Oh my gosh. Which leads into your current fitness routine. Yeah. You've made some big changes to your training, your diet, your tracking macros the first time in forever. Yeah. So what sparked this change? What have you been seeing? What are you hoping to achieve through all of this before you get pregnant again?

45:56Yep. Before you impregnate me again and make me large. Yeah. I don't know. I spent the last year. It was after, is it after Nico? Yeah. After Nico, I kind of just, once I, you know, was feeling stronger and ready to jump back into workouts, I just fell back into all my old type of workouts. You know, a mix of strength, HIIT, some like Metcon-y, Hiroxy stuff. And it just did not feel good on my body. This was like a year, year and a half ago. So I spent all last year, like all of 2025, I totally shifted how I worked out. And I incorporated a lot more Pilates, lower weights, higher reps, kind of like a three, two, one method, three strength days, two Pilates, one cardio.

46:39And I really liked it. It was quicker workouts. It was just, it was very mom doable. But then, so I did that for about a year. And then, so that year was up pretty much at the beginning of this year, you know, a few months ago. And it kind of was like, you know, I just feel like I don't feel as strong as I used to. And I don't know. I just, I felt like, I felt like I lost some muscle. And I got a DEXA scan. It turns out I really didn't, but I don't know. I just, I was ready for something new and I really hadn't taken fitness and nutrition. I always take it seriously because it's just part of who we are, but I never really - It's the foundation of our life.

47:24Yeah. But I don't think I would say I was like dialed and goal chasing in such a long time. Like really, I've never really been like a goal chaser with fitness and health. I've just always wanted to feel good, look good, be healthy. So I thought, okay, well, we're going to get pregnant later this year, God willing. Why don't I just try to really get in the best shape of my life before this next pregnancy, head into it strong. So who I mentioned earlier, Alec Treffers, she's this amazing, just fierce, strong mom. She's out in California. And we just have kids the same age. I saw she hired a coach and I was like super inspired by her.

48:08So I literally stole her coach and I'm like, Hey, I think I've never hired her. I've never hired a coach for anything. And I know that whenever you were in a serious goal setting season of your life, you most of the time, like you hire a coach or you have someone helping you, um, or at least in your earlier years, like, you know, in endurance. So I hired a coach to help me with macros and program my workouts. So it's just back to strictly strength. And while all the workouts feel very familiar because it's all movements and exercises I've done, it's very different. Like he has me, they're a lot longer and they're very repetitive and it's progressive overload.

48:47And I definitely see changes when I apply that to my workouts and it's really exciting. And then as far as macros go, I haven't counted macros in probably eight years. I honestly have had a bad relationship with it. So I've totally gotten past that and just had a great relationship with food for the past decade. But I was like, okay, this might be a good tool to see where I'm at. And it taught me a lot. Like I remember the first couple of days I was doing it. I was like, dang, I was probably way over eating fat and under eating protein. Protein was always a priority. But I think I kind of just like thought, oh, if I hit 30 grams of protein every meal, it's good.

49:27but not really. That's 90 grams of protein on a good day. And probably always watching carbs a little bit, but he kind of had me in this like reverse diet. So we started low, which sucked, but now I'm eating over 2000 calories a day. I'm not gaining weight. I feel great in the gym. I have energy. I can tell I'm gaining muscle, lean mass. So it's been really fun to see. Now I'm counting looser and I still, when we're out to eat, I still enjoy a cocktail and indulge once a week or so. But I think it's been good for me to have a goal and take it a little bit more seriously. It's definitely not sustainable at all, but it's made me feel good.

50:05Nick Bare:I think it can be sustainable if, because you are pretty flexible with it. I mean, not the, yeah, I think I don't want to be tracking. That part's not sustainable for me. I'm like a slave to my fitness pal. Like I don't, it was just a really good tool in the beginning. Yeah. It builds a level of awareness. like even me every once in a while, I still go back and track my current diet, my fitness pal, just to know. I know how much protein I'm consuming a day. That was a shocker for me. But sometimes I'm like, am I consuming enough carbs? Am I consuming enough or too much fat? Yeah. So I'll go back every once in a while as I change my diet up.

50:46Yeah.

50:46Nick Bare:Just to track to have that level of awareness. But it's not more than once every couple of months. It's taught me that it just takes so much intention and you have to be so detail oriented if you want to see true change in your body. Because I've been happy with the way I've looked since we've had kids. I've worked hard. You could look at me and say, oh, she's fit. But if I really want to see like muscle gain and composition changes, that's in the details. Like that's from that. I'll give you an example. like I would for breakfast have oats with a scoop of protein powder in it, right? 25 grams of protein, call it.

51:29But now I'm like, okay, well, I realized at the end of the day when I was short protein, now I'm adding 100 grams of egg whites to my oatmeal. And like those little changes, like I just, it's just those little things that those things will stick with me for sure.

51:44Nick Bare:100 grams of egg whites on top of the protein. I put it in my oatmeal. Yeah, with the protein. With the protein, yeah. So then it turns into like, so now for breakfast, if I'm under 50 grams for breakfast, I feel like I'm behind. But I never, like I'm having double the amount and I'm seeing change. So that is, it's just an eye opener. And that's when I feel like macro tracking can be a really resourceful tool. If you want to take it seriously and see change. What changes are you seeing like body composition and workouts wise? I just more muscle and I just feel better. Honestly, I feel a lot better.

52:19My muscles feel better. My joints feel better. We talk about it all the time. Like muscle gain and protein intake is the key to longevity and health. I think especially if you are a female over the age of 30, Dr. Gabrielle Lyon, right? She's like the protein gal that I always, she's great. A great resource. I love listening to her, but she's really stressed the importance to me of like how important It is a strength train and be mindful with your protein as you get older. Even my mom, like my mom's consuming over a hundred grams now a day. And she's like, I feel great. She's like, my hair, my skin, everything.

52:56Everything's better because I'm having, I'm being conscious of how much protein I'm getting.

53:02Nick Bare:It's really cool to see your mom adopt some of these. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Practices and principles that we incorporate in our life. All of them. Creatine. Yes. Mom's taking creatine now. She's working out. She's like living her best life. Yeah, it's cool to see, especially like post-retirement. Yeah. The changes she's making to her life. Yeah, it's awesome. People might ask the question, well, why doesn't Nick just program your workouts and macros? What's your response to that? I don't know. I think it's just sometimes better if you just don't hire your husband. The guy I'm working with, his name is Andrew Taylor.

53:39He's awesome. It's all virtual. He specializes in females. You could absolutely do it. But I just think, I don't know.

53:45Nick Bare:I think that separation is like based off our relationship. Yeah. It's healthier that I don't program your nutrition and your training. Yeah. Like that is your thing on your own. I just think for us knowing each other in our relationship. Yeah. It's a healthy boundary. It is. That we in place. Yeah. That's exactly it. All right. So moving on to some different things. We've kind of touched on this a little bit, but how is God leading us individually and collectively in this current season of life? Where do you want to start? I'll kind of start from my end. You were briefly discussing this last night before I put my eye mask on to go to sleep.

54:39Before you shut me out.

54:41Nick Bare:Yes. collectively I think God is leading us to be servants to steward our bodies our minds, our money to serve others and it's extremely rewarding and fulfilling we spend a lot of time in prayer and asking and listening to God and and really trying to be obedient to where he is calling us to and not try to white knuckle and control and manipulate our lives to where we want to go. Yeah. But to listen to him, to serve him, to serve others. And we've talked about this before, but that puts you on a very adventurous path of life. Yeah. So I feel like we are both being called collectively to serve one another.

55:40Nick Bare:serve our family, but then serve others as well. For me individually, I really feel like, and I'm still praying and listening to God about this. One of the things I'm learning and I've learned these past couple of months is it's really easy to think you hear from God and there are signs that pop up direct you in one way or the other. But oftentimes you're creating those signs yourself. You're looking for things outside of God's will to direct you to where you want to go. Not where God wants you to go. So I'm trying to be really patient in my prayer and listening and talking and building a relationship with God for him to lead me to where he wants me to go next.

56:38But what keeps coming to me time and time again in prayer and just like other aspects of my life is leading men. I think the world is trying to deconstruct men.

56:54Nick Bare:The enemy is trying to deconstruct the man. And I feel like I'm being called to build men back up physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. so I'm just I'm sitting in that in my prayer time recently but I feel like that's where I'm being called to uh and God is leading me to but I'm not making any attempt or action on it right now I'm waiting for the the right time and I'll know when it's the right time yeah but I feel like God is just he's working on me and building me right now in preparation for this next chapter of my life. Yeah. Yeah. And I see the obedience through you all so much lately in servanthood, whether it's being a servant and being a husband to your employees, to our kids.

57:46That's a huge change I've seen with you. Absolutely. But yeah, I think you're doing it right. That's awesome.

57:55Nick Bare:Where do you think God is leading you individually right now? Kind of just what I talked about earlier, just with all the conviction placed in my heart with social media and how I've been living my life and how I've viewed the balance of motherhood and wanting to still have your own identity and work and do that. I feel like right now, God is just kind of, He's given me a lot over the past few months, but He's given me a lot for the future, I feel like. But what He's, I think in Him doing that right now he's giving me rest. Disciple your children. Spend your energy on your children and the people you love.

58:38Serve. Be still, be slow. You don't need to be grinding right now in these years. That's what I feel. And while that sounds like a piece of cake, it sounds great. It's difficult when you have a personality type like mine because I tend to like to achieve and strive and perform. So I'm really trying to lean into that and just live a quieter, simpler life. And I feel like he's brought me a lot of questions for myself during this time on that whole subject. Like when I really had like some deep dive in prayer with social media and creating and working and all the things I heard him you know kind of one question that came to me was um but if you poured everything that you've poured into social media into your kids that was like oh and not even just like the time I spend curating recipes and filming like consuming and watching other people of their lives like what if all that time I spent?

59:45Kind of like the homeschool thing. Like what hours would you get back? That question was laid on my heart. And then another one was, what if every time, because one thing that I find over the weekends when we fast is I actually, since we've been fasting, I take less photos, which I don't like because I do like taking photos because I love to have them for our family out of town. For us, like photos are beautiful, but I've been taking less photos because we've been so much more present, which is a beautiful thing. But the first few weekends we did this, if one of our kids was doing something cute or I made something really good to eat or I got something from Amazon that the kids love, it's like I have this knee-jerk reaction to take out my phone and capture it and share it.

1:00:35And I don't like that. So another question that was laid on my heart was, what if every time you felt the urge to share, you just sat in gratitude and thanked me for that? And I was like, oh man, okay. So lots of really deep convicting, hard questions laid on my heart, but they're leading to good places.

1:00:55Nick Bare:That's great. Yeah. You know, I was in Georgia this past week visiting Chad Wright and I was on Chad's podcast, which I love Chad. Chad's one of my favorite people. Every time I spend time with Chad he truly fills my cup. Yeah, that's why this trip was like you needed to go. I needed it for sure. I don't travel much at all for work or podcasts or anything. I think that's probably very surprising to a lot of people too. You were home 99 % of your life. Yeah. I love it. I don't travel much at all. But I knew when Chad asked me to come on the podcast I know this, I'll fill my cup and I'll just, I'll learn a lot from Chad.

1:01:40Nick Bare:And one of the things I was sharing on the podcast with him was a few months ago, you know, after I was radically saved, being a follower of Christ took over every part of me, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And I couldn't talk about anything without sharing the gospel and how the Lord transformed me. But in my prayer over these last couple of months, I mean, I heard God tell me, for your entire life or at least the last decade plus of your life, you've shared every part of your life with the world. Building a business, these fitness preps, getting married, being a dad, children, being a leader, all of these things, you shared everything with everyone.

1:02:33Nick Bare:I want you to focus on our relationship right now, me and God's. And that's why I haven't been sharing as much of anything on social recently. I would say nothing. But even my relationship with Christ, I'm focused now on building that intimate personal relationship with him as opposed to feeling like I have to share what I'm experiencing online on these platforms that I've built. That was like a really powerful realization these last couple of months. Yeah. It was very clear in my prayer time. Yeah. Similar. it seems like he's kind of working on us both in similar ways but definitely cater to each person because we have different challenges and obligations and all that yeah share less just be present be grateful yeah be as present as possible all right let's talk about Well, this is coming off of what God has put on your heart.

1:03:50Yeah. But your spin studio.

1:03:54Nick Bare:Now, don't say the name of it. I won't. Because we haven't filed the appropriate paperwork and trademarked this. I won't. So don't say the name of it. But what's going on with the spin studio? Crazy. How crazy has this all been? It's been wild. Yeah. I think the craziest part for me has been the fact that you have these notes in your phone and you had a name of an instructor and you can get to that eventually. But that's been for me was like, oh, wow. Yeah. This is real. Yeah. Yeah. So background on spin and I, I, after college, before I met you, right, as I was meeting you, I was a spin instructor in Nashville.

1:04:40So spin was never my first love in fitness. I wanted to be like a bootcamp instructor, kind of got thrown into spin because the studio that I was teaching at needed an instructor. But the way I was trained, it was not the spin that I love now. It was totally different. But when I moved here to be with you, I went to a SoulCycle class. And this is when I was like, I'm done teaching. I just want to be a rider. And that was my first experience of that type of spin. So I was used to like RPMs, watts, if you're a peloton rider or a cycle bar rider, it's more like that numbers-based performance-based soul cycle is this I don't even know how to describe it it is a immersive experience a musical experience you ride to the beat there are no numbers it is just about you and the music and the people riding with you and you ride in sync with each other I was a previous dancer I feel like a lot of previous dancers and people with musical backgrounds really get it because it's It's like you either get this type of writing or you don't because you have to really be in sync with the rhythm.

1:05:43It's a beautiful thing. Like if you love music, chances are you love SoulCycle.

1:05:48Nick Bare:I've been to a SoulCycle class with you before. Chris Chandler's, yeah, it was amazing. Kicked my butt. Yeah, I love it. So I've been writing that way for 10 years. Haven't taught. There was a little blip in Nashville when we lived there. Remember when I was like, is God calling me to be an instructor again? And then I got pregnant with Nico and I'm like, guess not. Okay. so it's been on and off my heart but never my shoes are hung up i don't i don't want to teach and i don't feel the lord calling me to do that but i've just something spin has always done something to me and that musical experience has just given me a feeling i feel close to god i feel the most like myself it is just like probably how you feel when you're running yeah that's how i would probably try to describe it um but no plans of studio like we haven't talked about spin at all.

1:06:38It's just like a part, right on Saturdays in our garage, that's it. But if I'm in New York, we'll take a class. So this was in October and it was, I don't know, almost a little over a year postpartum. I was just in one of those motherhood ruts where I was like, what am I doing? I don't feel like myself. Should I be working? What should I be doing? And that morning in prayer, I've never prayed this prayer before. I don't know why I did. I prayed that morning on this random day in October Lord can you just give me something creative I don't I don't even know what I'm asking for but I want to feel creative I want to work towards something I want you to use me and that was my specific prayer a few hours later I was on a walk with both kids and walks are usually and ironically very peaceful like they both like walks

1:07:26Nick Bare:if they have snacks if they have snacks and I'm walking both of them I remember the street that I was on. And this has never happened to me before. I've heard from God. I feel like I can be in tune with his voice, but I've never gotten a vision before. And I was not in prayer. I was not asking for this. I was just walking the kids. And it was like an eight minute movie that played in my head. And I literally feel like I was walking. I'm like, well, I don't even know what I was, if the kids were asking me something. I don't even know where I was. It was just this vision in my head. There was a spin studio.

1:08:02He told me where it was. He told me the name of it. He gave me the logo. He gave me what it looked like. He said, he told me that this is a worship based spin studio. And there was this vision of these, it's just like this beautiful studio. And I had this vision of these two girls sitting on a bench outside of the studio. And this girl was getting saved on the bench. Like it was just this, it was beautiful. So detailed. Like God was, that's how cool God is. it was so detailed. It was so detailed. And what I struggle with, and you know this when I have an idea, I can never name anything. It takes me eight years to come up with a children's book name.

1:08:38I can't name anything for the life of me. And the fact that he like the first thing he did was give me the name. So I got home and I remember I pulled into our driveway and I called you and I told you about it. And you're like, wow, cool. Okay. And I came in and I just like put everything down in the notes app in my phone because I didn't want to forget anything. And yeah, he gave me this like, he gave me the name, a female name. I don't know what that meant. And long story short, whatever, the name like did tap into this whole process, which is through a person, which is crazy.

1:09:10Nick Bare:As like a potential instructor. Yeah, yeah. So, but that was it though. I'm like, okay, cool. And I'm like, what do I do with this? Like, I am not in a season right now. Like, I don't know how to start a business. Like, this is hard. I don't know anything about this. So we talked and I'm like, okay, this, maybe this is when our kids are in school and I'm in my forties and whatever. This isn't seem like the right time. So we kind of just tabled it. And then it's just been on my heart so much. And as I've had this conviction with this like virtual life that we've, you know, lived on social media, I've just felt God being like, giving me like a local, like in-person ministry.

1:09:55and that to me sounds like heaven. Like that's all I want. Like I don't want to be on my phone talking to people. I want to be like hugging people and touching people and in person. So we kind of just like left it. But one thing you did recommend and you connected me with Michael.

1:10:12Nick Bare:Yeah, Michael Malay, rooted creative. And he's like, hey, why don't you, since you have all these details, this is you telling me this, why don't you just like hire a agency to kind of like lay out your branding kit? And just get it all visually down. So even if we don't do this for years, you have it. So it's fresh. Great idea. So did that. The best experience working with them. They're also Christian-based. And they, it's like almost like God put it on their hearts too. Like it was crazy. Like seeing the logo in my head and then now seeing it like on a computer. And I had this whole branding kit and the values and the mission statement and what merch could look like and the colors.

1:10:55And it's just so, it's exactly what it was. It's exactly what it was. So now I have this branding kit and I'm like, well, what do I do with it? Like, it feels weird to have this thing you sit on, but like, I just am not feeling called to do it right now.

1:11:07Nick Bare:You'll know when the time is right. Yeah. And when the time is right, then you can put it into action. Yeah. But I think there's so many people get like this calling and this vision, they just sit on it. You still have to take action. Yeah. to bring it to life. We'll start laying the foundation. Let's get the branding kit done. Let's get logos. Let's start looking into like, what is all this going to cost? Yeah. Let's build out a budget and a business plan. Yeah. That's where I can lean in and support and help. Yeah. And then when the time is right, you press go. Yeah. Yeah. I felt these little like mini, you know, just from God, like a couple of weeks ago, I put on my Instagram story.

1:11:53For me, the hardest part is I need to find, I'm trying to run a worship-based spin studio. It's not gonna be start to finish playlists of only Christian music, but we just want a place where, whether you're Christian or not, everybody's welcomed. It's a safe space. It's clean music. Like the whole one of, oh gosh, I can't say it because of the name, but I just want it to give you the feeling that maybe church gives you. like I just want it to be this place of worship and community and just a place where people can feel really really close to God and honestly like music can do that and it does it for me I know it does it for you too like music is so powerful and it's such a gift from God so yeah I put on my story a couple weeks ago because I'm like I need to find an instructor like how niche is this like I can't how am I gonna find an instructor and I just like put it out there and I've been connected with this amazing girl.

1:12:51It's just like the people that he's put in my life just to even like bounce ideas off of and just be truly like, it sounds crazy, but people that are like, this isn't crazy. This is amazing. So that's my prayer right now. Cause like, again, like it's not happening anytime soon, but I do feel like these little nudges sometimes to make little moves to keep it, you know, top of mind. And my prayer is just that the right people come into this that can help me and help me build this. Cause I don't want to teach. I feel like I have the vision and I want to be the person that gives people the space because God gave it to me.

1:13:23But it's so crazy because of all the ideas I've had, and we've had so many conversations and like you are a protective husband and you're like, do you know how hard this is going to be? Is this the right phase of life for this? And I'm like, I don't know. I know how hard it is. I'm not being naive. This is crazy, but there's been this peace around it. There's been no doubt because it doesn't feel like it's mine. If that makes sense.

1:13:48Nick Bare:Makes sense. Like I feel like I didn't come up with it. I'm just executing it. So there's a certain piece around it. Yeah. You're definitely the visionary and I'm coming in as the integrator to make sure. Only if it's on your heart. Cause we've talked about that. Like, I don't want you involved in this if God's not placing it on your heart too. Yeah. I'm going to come in and be the, Hey, this makes sense. This doesn't make sense. which I think you need that person in this pursuit of if and when it launches or comes to life. But I think it's needed in the world right now because so many businesses and brands and companies and fitness gyms and studios and clubs start with great values and beliefs.

1:14:36and then they conform to the patterns of the world

1:14:43Nick Bare:and it becomes a toxic negative thing to be something for everyone. And if you are trying to be something for everyone, you are nothing for anyone. And that's what makes this vision, this idea and this concept and this studio different is that it stands for something. It has values. It has beliefs. since a house built on a rock as opposed to sand. Yeah, I love that. It's powerful. Yeah. Yeah, it just feels, it feels really special. And like I kind of mentioned earlier, I feel like God gave me this in this season, like, because he's not like build the studio now, right? But I feel like he's given me this to be like, hey, I have this mission for you.

1:15:27And when the time is right, I will tell you. And I will give you the resources and I'll give you the people and I'll give you the building. But right now I gave that to you. so take that as a gift and enjoy the season you're in right now yeah

1:15:39Nick Bare:and it's probably also testing your patience yeah because historically you know you've had these ideas and you you jump on it right away I do yeah I do we're both very impulsive people yeah naturally we are both I'm very impulsive and that's something I'm learning learning in the season too is to be patient yeah where I used to have ideas and then tomorrow it was started yeah and we're learning now You can have these visions and you can be guided in ways, but it's not necessarily meaning that you have to start right now. Sit in it, sit with it and be patient. Yeah. Feels like a gift that was given to me for sure.

1:16:20So thank you for giving me the space to talk about it. Hey, you never know who's listening. You want to be a part of this. Hit me up. It's going to be awesome. Send Steph a DM and say, you want to spin?

1:16:32Nick Bare:Spin for God. All right, well, we shared some really good stuff today. Yeah. There's a lot of amazing things happening in our life right now. We're learning a lot in the season. Yeah. We're growing, we're being challenged. But like of all the seasons of life that we've experienced so far, I'd say this is probably the most challenging, but the most fulfilling and rewarding. And it probably sounds cliche because most parents probably say that. Yeah. But it's so true. Yeah. Because every day is really, really hard and exhausting. Yeah. When our heads hit the pillow at night, we are done. Done. But - We're doing so much.

1:17:16Nick Bare:It's so much fun. Yeah. Did you see what I sent you? That little snippet I found? I thought it wrapped up our season of life right now. Well, maybe mine or so. I did see it. Yeah. I was like, maybe the greatest thing that you can contribute to the kingdom is not what you can do, but who you can raise. Yeah. You texted me that last night as I was falling asleep. I know, but - Because my phone vibrated. Oh. And I had to take my mask off. But how amazing is that though? It's not what you do, it's who you raise. And I feel like that, if you are a young parent right now, cling on to that. Because you can still do great things, right?

1:17:51Yeah. Like you're doing amazing stuff. But to just have that perspective because we are in those like raising years right now.

1:18:00Nick Bare:I was actually talking to Chad about this as well on the podcast because him and his wife, Brooke, are about to have their first child. Yeah. And I was sharing with him, you know, like when you become parents, your own personal ambitions and goals and passions don't have to die, but they're going to look different. The way that you pursue them is going to have to look different. And you can't be selfish with your time and your energy. That's something I'm learning in the season right now is there's a difference between time and energy. I can make the time to do all these things that I want to do and still show up for the family.

1:18:43Nick Bare:But am I showing up with the energy that I want or am I a zombie? That's why I'm not doing, I'm not committed to any fitness preps or races in 2026 is because even when I was in Ironman prep last year, yeah, I got my runs done before the family woke up. I did all my other workouts throughout the day and I was home by 4.30 p.m. every day for the family, but I was a zombie. But I was still there. Yeah, there's a big difference. There's a big difference between time and energy. And I want to show up for our family with as much energy as possible. Yeah. That's part of my prayer every morning. Lord, give me abundant energy.

1:19:28Because we have a shortage of it.

1:19:30Nick Bare:Then why are you drinking decaf? Because my nervous system can't take it. Man. I'm like, I'm throwing back 150 milligrams of caffeine at 4.30 a.m. I'm about to have a cup of coffee. I'm about to have a cup of coffee. All right. Well, thank you for coming back on the podcast. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Bye.

1:19:55Thank you.