192: Stef and I Answer Your Questions (Marriage, Social Life, Parenting & More)

25:59Nick Bare:is very important. And the older we get, we believe that more and more and more. That yeah, you can do life by yourself, not even just you alone, but you and your family, but life is so much better when done with other people.

26:20Nick Bare:Ecclesiastes 4, 9 through 12. Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. I love that. Those three strands are two individuals and then Christ. Right. So what does our social life outside of work look like right now? Well, I think it's different for you and different for me.

27:09Nick Bare:Well, let's talk about that. Yeah. I think I'm an extrovert you're an introvert which works but I recharge I come to life I spiritually socially everything refuel from people like I just love being around people so this move to Texas has had a lot of hard seasons for me because I'm not from here we've made some really good friends there's been lots of moving and all that. So it's been tough because like growing up, like I was just a friend's girl, a girl's girl, a family girl, just always around people. So... We have a few really good friends, but we don't have a big community. No, and I don't think that's needed.

27:59Nick Bare:That's not needed. No, yeah. But I think a social life and social relationships, just given our different responsibilities in life, has a different weight for me than it does for you, especially in this past season. Like I need it like it's air. You are better at pushing it to the back burner because you know you have other heavier, lofty responsibilities, which I don't always agree with that order of, you know, moving things around, but I know it has to be done and you serve and protect and provide for our family. But for me, I always, it's always a priority. I mean, even in seasons where I feel like we're really busy, like I just am always trying to make it a priority.

28:47And especially since we've had kids, because I want our kids to be around people. So I feel like if I had to say how full my like social tank is, I would say mine's like Mine's pretty full most of the time But I could always I could always use more Like I love getting together with friends Talking with friends Going to get coffee I need that And I'm always the person that is like Over committing us Saying yes to everything Because I'm like a golden retriever that wants to go Let's do it

29:25Nick Bare:You would say your social tank is full right now? Um I would say not as full as I would want it to be. I would say like 70%, 60%. What do you want it to like? It's been more full, but we're entering a season right now where it looks a little different. What do you want it to like? Ideally, what would a week look like in terms of social interaction and gathering and community? I'm really excited to enter like the school phase of life for our kids. We just have a tiny glimpse of it right now, but not really. It's just church preschool, really. But I would love it to be a mix of, I think neighbors are super important.

30:13I think if you can have neighbors that you can do life with, that's game changing. We don't have that. So that's been really, really tough. but I feel like a mix of like spontaneous neighbor socialization would be incredible like how we grew up in the 90s right like oh so and so down the streets doing burgers or like I'll feed the kids tonight or the ice cream trucks down there like let's all go down there and then play basketball in their driveway like it just doesn't exist in our life like that like I wish we had that truly. Yeah. Truly, truly. Because I feel like that just so effortlessly fills up your social tank.

30:55Just being around people like that, you know? And then a mix of just like you and I going out together and doing something like a double date every now and then. I love, like, I love going to like a concert or something like that. And then for me to also having that like solo time with girls. like Phoebe's my best friend here. Our girls are best friends and that's just been like the biggest blessing in my life, hands down. And it's just a very effortless friendship where I'm like, it can be last minute and we just get together. Like that's what I love and that's what I need.

31:28Nick Bare:Yeah. Not like the social status. We get invited to this and we go to this and we're making an appearance of this. It's like the effortless relationships, you know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, my whole take on all of this, my social life outside of work right now is zero. I spend my time either working or with family and I say no to everything else. And I think there's seasons where that just has to be the thing. I work a lot. my brain is always on and firing, which is a blessing and a curse. And when I am not working, I make it a very hard effort to be at home. I leave the office at an appropriate time every day.

32:26Nick Bare:I'm home in the mornings, most mornings, unless we're filming something. But I don't want it to always look like that. But I view that as a season right now of, it's been a season for a long time now. And it's really all I know. Yeah, I don't really know. At this point. I've never seen you be like, hey Steph, can I go do this with the guys? I don't think that's ever. Yeah, I've said no to friendships a long time ago. Yeah. So that I could go all in on my work and building what has been built. And I do think that was a requirement to get us in this place to where it is today. I do firmly believe that.

33:10But I think that my life,

33:15Nick Bare:our life requires change in this next season. What do I want the future to look like? I want our family to do life with other families. I want spontaneous people coming to our house on a Tuesday night for dinner. Yeah. And just pure chaos. And I want brotherhood in this next chapter.

33:45Nick Bare:Proverbs 27, 17, as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. I do believe that scripture is taken out of context quite frequently. Yeah, we were just talking about that. Like what that means to me, and I believe what scripture is intended to mean in this case is that you need to have other people in your life that hold you accountable to keep you on the straight and narrow path. When you are doing something that you shouldn't be doing or you are doing wrong, they correct you. It's not doing a hard workout with a brother. who is telling you to push harder and do another rep. It is having someone who is not a yes man in your life, who is guiding you, you're doing life together, you sharpen one another to be better.

34:39Nick Bare:Men, in my case, leaders, husbands, fathers, Christians. And I just want brothers that I'm doing life with not to go golf, not to go on a hunting trip. What's wrong with those things? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those things, but not just to do that. Oh, okay. I don't want to go golf with the boys and drink beers on a Saturday afternoon. I want to spend quality time with brothers, whether that's golfing or training or in a small group or whatever it is, like sharpening each other, doing life together. Meaningful. we personally and professionally grow into the men that we are becoming.

35:28Nick Bare:So I want our social life as a couple, individually, as a family to look different than it does right now. I think a lot of people that are in our phase of life can, I think, relate to this because parenthood and early parenthood can be very isolating. You're adjusting to this new life, new schedules, new responsibilities, new fears, new anxieties. It's a really big transitional phase. And I think like years zero through three, four can be super lonely if you aren't around family or around those people in close proximity. Like when you are in young parenthood, proximity and convenience is everything when it comes to your relationships because it's a whole lot easier you know to pop in on a neighbor down the street or a friend down the street rather than to like arrange a FaceTime call with someone states away because you just don't have that time when you're a parent yeah so I think being close in proximity and just the convenience factor is huge but I think again we're I'm really excited to go into the school years and sports and all that.

36:41And yeah, I think it's just very important to know that it takes work and it takes a lot of sometimes uncomfortable yeses or yeses that are like, I don't really want to do this right now, but do I think it's going to benefit me and my family? Then let's do it. Whether that means like less sleep, change of plans, you know, someone compromising if they're not in the mood. Like I think you have to power through those things to bear the fruit. Yeah.

37:09Nick Bare:on that note would you guys ever consider moving back to Tennessee

37:16I would

37:17Nick Bare:that's always it's always been the plan yeah you know we moved to Tennessee in 2023 we thought that was the move forever and then plans change the business needed you needed me to come back to Texas. And we've now been back in Texas for - Two and a half years. Two and a half years. It's crazy. I was just talking to someone about that the other day, how fast time goes. I remember when you sat me down and told me we had to come back. You're like, just give me a year. And I was like, I don't want any more timestamps on this life. Let's just go live our life. Yeah. So the plan was, and has always been to get back to Tennessee at some point.

38:05Nick Bare:but it was doing things differently this time around compared to the way we approached it in 2023. Yeah. And that just takes time. Yeah. To set it up properly, set the team up properly, do it in the right way. So over this last year, we had been building a house in Tennessee. Yeah. And we've been building it to be our long-term house. And we're working on that project right now and the plan is that we move to Tennessee when that project is complete and our kids go to school in Tennessee and that is our future and that's the plan and always has been and we're putting those actions into existence to make that come to life.

38:57Yeah, I think we're building a house but we've also been building a life like keeping relationships alive and we have friends there and investing in those even from a far away like yeah I'm very excited and um yeah I feel like the context of our last couple questions will all make sense because we are going to be entering a new face of life and I feel like we are doing a really good job of aligning and setting up our life to really put all the things we just talked about that we want into fruition. And I feel like the Lord has really, you know, given us a long windy route to get back there. But this timing just feels so ordained by God that it's very peaceful.

39:47And I'm very excited and go walls. Podcast producer, Matt. It's a Vols fan.

39:54Nick Bare:Oh, I know what you're talking about. What do you mean? Vols. Go Vols. Yeah, Tennessee. It's going to be our team. I mean, obviously not a big sports guy, so I had no clue what you were talking about. I'll help you. All right. What is your favorite memory as a couple? Okay. I have one that's like a bigger pattern of memories and then I have one really recently. Share. You can share both. Well, I think my favorite memory that we just keep building over time is going to the beach. Like I love our time in 30A so much that we carve out that time a couple times each year. And we've done it dating. We've gone engaged.

40:47We've gone married. We've gone when we've been trying to have babies. We've gone when we've been pregnant. Like we have gone through every season of life. And I can just like picture the different Airbnbs we've stayed in during those seasons. And like the memories that we've had. And it's just, it's so happy because it's just a place that you and I both equally love. And there's been times where we both vacationed really hard. And then there's been times where like we both like you've had to work. And it's just, it's been this place where we've revisited so many times as different versions of ourselves.

41:19But every trip just like fills up my cup. And I just have the best memories there. Like truly. so I that's that's my favorite like and I just love that it's a place that we go back to with

41:32Nick Bare:our kids and our kids are involved now yeah that's a really good observation yeah I didn't think of it that way yeah it's just something that even though we go to the same restaurants and now we go to the same house I am equally just so stoked to go every single year like I feel like my soul is at rest at the beach and I love it so much. I do love it there. And then my most recent one, and this is like, I don't want it to come off in a different way than I'm, I'll explain. So it would be, I don't think we've talked about this yet, but we went to the Forest Freight concert about a month ago. I'm not going to lie.

42:10Nick Bare:I thought you were going to say the day that I planned your birthday. I love you, but no. All right. That wasn't like a marriage thing though No, but I thought I really redeemed myself You did, but it wasn't gifts and acts of service But it was just the intention It was, it was, it was the best birthday I have ever had in my 34 years of life All right, I'm sorry But not a marriage memory Anywho, we went to the Forrest Frank concert about a month ago And some things lined up and Forrest ended up working out with you here earlier that day. And like we play his music all the time. I respect him immensely.

42:55I just think he's a great role model for this next up and coming generation. Just love what I know of the guy. So we were stoked about that. And he was here. You guys had a really great day together, had some really great like life-giving conversation. It sounds like just a good dude, good dudes hanging out. And then we took Charlie to the concert and we sat in our seats and we were just getting ready for the show to start and he kind of does if you guys know like how Morgan Wallen does his like walkouts like you know the whole place goes dark the camera goes on Morgan in this case it was Forrest like walking out of I don't know his dressing room like going through backstage and you can like see him walking making his way to the stage and they're playing like some what song was it I know it pump up music yeah it's like a very sporty walkout song.

43:44And I saw it first, but he was wearing a BPN t-shirt and he wasn't just wearing like the one you have on. He was wearing the most like bold, loud BPN t-shirt.

43:55Nick Bare:To go on more on the front and we feel performance in the back. It screamed BPN. Okay. And I've seen all of the social media footage. Forrest only wears like solid t-shirts. He's never, ever worn a brand or made a statement with his clothing ever at one of his shows. And this isn't me like fangirling, but it's one of my favorite moments now because I very rarely get to see you be really excited and surprised by something and have like genuine in the moment emotion that I can just like see pouring into your eyes and you get flushed like that. Just you're a very chill, consistent dude. Yes. There's not a lot of highs, lows.

44:39I was like, you do a very good job of just like staying at 70 degrees all the time. But in that moment though, when we saw that, and we're in an arena with what, 25 ,000 people?

44:49Nick Bare:Something like that. He's, I would say arguably one of the, he is the top Christian artist right now. And it's not the fact that he wore a BPNT shirt. Like it is the fact that you spent the day with him. And I don't know, I've just, I've seen you have your career highs and lows and emotions and how hard you work. and you were just such a good person and you're so hard on yourself. And for me, that was just a moment that was like, I just felt like you were seen and I could just tell like you felt super respected and just, I can't help him cry about this, but I don't know. It was just really cool because you were just really surprised and I could tell it like filled up your cup in a different way because you're getting choked up right now.

45:32It was so cool. And it just feels like we've been so bold in our faith the last year on social media. Do you want to cry? Put this in the trailer. Oh my gosh. We've been so bold in our faith. And it's been so hard. And we've had so many people tell us, y 'all are going to be bold in your faith and life's going to get way harder. Like, welcome to this world. And it's been very true. Like, it's been really hard. um so to just have i don't know it just felt like a god moment he was like keep going guys like and it all just came from forest wearing a t-shirt which is just silly but like it was just a really cool moment and i was really proud of you and happy for you well thank you i can't believe i made you cry well it did mean it meant a lot to me

46:31Nick Bare:because I know after spending time with him what he does with his work the real deal and the message he shares that he is the real deal and for someone to trust me enough to wear my brand t-shirt your name yeah like to put his name behind me and walk on stage with that shirt meant a lot. Yeah. Yeah. So now, see, this just affirms, this is a great marriage moment. It was just one of those moments where I was just so bursting with happiness and just, I was so proud of you. So that's my recent one. Well, thank you. What's yours? Helen got me. Dang it, Forrest. there's very few moments where I feel that much energy and surprise and excitement.

47:37Nick Bare:And for it to be you, me and Charlie at that show and for Charlie to see that. In the season we're in right now. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I did take that as...

47:52Nick Bare:the way that I took that was Forrest spent the day here and God put on Forrest's heart, do this to keep inspiring Nick to be strong in his faith. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What's yours? Okay. It's probably silly. No, it's not really silly. it's when you first moved to Texas and you drove through the parking lot so

48:32Nick Bare:at this point in our life we were not committed Christians no if I can go back and change anything don't live with your partner y 'all until you get married we moved in together before we were even engaged we were freshly dating we rented a house together you know you live and you learn but these are the decisions we made as sinners when we were young and naive staff moved to Austin we were renting a house together downtown Austin and the day we moved into that house I remember we had all these boxes of all of our stuff and it was March, weather was beautiful, like perfect. Our backyard was immaculate.

49:23We were half mile from the lake and downtown

49:29Nick Bare:on the trail. I just remember unpacking our house that day and we ordered pizza and we had a bottle of wine and we were up to like 3 a.m. unpacking the house. You just lose track of time. You don't care about what time it is, what you're doing. It was like time stood still. And that was like the mark of beginning the rest of our lives. And before that, it was just us living our own lives separately. But that day was like the initiation of everything that led to getting engaged and getting married and having kids and the moves and the business and just like the complexities and craziness of life.

50:13Nick Bare:But that moment where time literally stood still or eating pizza, drinking wine, breaking down boxes, like laughing. And it was, that night was so much fun. That's always a core memory for me, which was like the beginning of our life now. Yeah. Yeah. That was, you know, sometimes you can't remember things from like a year ago. I remember that night like so equally and yeah that was it was fun it was just when life was like playful and fun and we had responsibilities but nothing too serious nothing like we have now no it was like it was such a different phase of life all right but don't live with your partner until you're married folks yes a lot of people ask what are your favorite BPN supplements hmm So if you had a tube, it was like three or four.

51:07Yeah.

51:08Nick Bare:What are your go-tos and why? Okay. So I guess favorites would be how much, like what I use the most, right? Or like whatever you get the most benefit from. Protein powder. Number one, for sure. I love our isolate. It's just a very convenient, easy, delicious way to hit protein. Just convenience factor. I can't tell you the last day I have gone without a scoop for sure we got great vegan great way isolate great way concentrate so good my favorite flavor is vanilla our vanilla slaps it reminds me of just like the perfect I don't know it goes in pancakes when people ask me how our vanilla is I'm like it just goes in pancakes like so seamlessly that's the only way I can describe it It's so good.

52:01Nick Bare:It's like a cakey vanilla. Yeah. Yeah. It's so yummy. I mean, our isolate too. So since we launched the isolate, Steph and I have both been using the isolate. Yeah. A whey protein isolate goes through additional filtration and processing to remove most of the lactose. Yeah. So it's much easier to digest. Very easy on the stomach. Yeah. Our isolate is grass fed. It is truly grass fed, verified. we source it from these small family farms in Ireland that's how it has the truly grass-fed certification it is NSF certified for sport so it goes through third-party testing showing that what we say is in this product is actually in this product it's tested for banned and prohibited substances it's naturally sweetened our whey protein isolate is in my honest opinion like the best of the best it's the best you can get so that is the protein source that you and I use on a regular basis yeah and just the phase of life I'm in like I don't have time sometimes in the morning to make a million eggs like it's just so convenient so I use that every day I love it also our whey concentrate am I saying that right?

53:12Nick Bare:concentrate yeah concentrate blends, bakes, mixes flawlessly it is so good like if you want to bake with protein powder, ours cannot be B. And it's the casein, right? Like the level of casein. Yeah. An isolate is just naturally leaner and a little thinner. Yeah. So a concentrate is better for baking. It's better for like protein oats. Yes. It's better for overnight oats. Consistency, yeah. If you want like a thicker shake, it's going to be better. It's better for sludge. An isolate is just very thin. Yeah. Because it is leaner. Yeah. I'm using isolates in smoothies and in shakes mostly, for sure.

53:51Um, okay. That and then electrolytes, just something that I take every single day just to get me back up to my baseline. I feel like ours are delicious. Flavors are so good. That's just something that I, again, don't go a day without. Um, most days I'm taking like two servings, especially in the Texas summer. I think creatine I would say creatine is something that I've taken probably for three years now through pregnancies through nursing talk to your doctor but I've done research and I feel good about taking it especially ours because ours is derived from creative pure right the purest form you can get and I've just seen major major wins and improvements in my strength my performance body recomp ability.

54:42I just, I love it so much. And I just, I never had the water, the bloating, the hard time with ours, which I've had with other brands in the past. Ours just, I kind of like forget that I even take it. I just reap the benefits of it.

54:55Nick Bare:What I'm super excited about is the creatine cheese. Oh my gosh. So right now we just have creatine in a powder. Yeah. Yeah. Unflavored, raw ingredient, Crea Pure powder. On our website, you can get it in 30 and 60 serving containers. On Amazon, you can get a hundred serving container of Crea Pure, which is performing very well on Amazon right now. And then this fall, we are launching Creatine Chews. So we have a few bags at our house right now. It's very hard to not over consume. I do a scoop, a heaping scoop of creatine in the morning. And I will do three creatine chews throughout the day because three creatine chews is a serving to get five grams.

55:42So I'm doing 10 to 15 grams probably a day at this point.

55:48Nick Bare:But we're launching in three different flavors, peach, juicy watermelon, and pink lemonade. I've only had, is it called juicy watermelon? Juicy watermelon. We have the juicy watermelon at the house for now. It tastes like, if y 'all ever had like now and later, Like that's what it tastes like to me. They're so good. Oh my goodness. Our kids love them too. So good. I know. Yeah. Charlie always wants them. Yeah. So I would say those three, I mean, there's a bunch more that I take, but those are my like top three greatest of all time. I take every day, no matter what. Supps. All right. The last thing I want to touch on.

56:23Nick Bare:It's more of a statement, but I just want to get your, this is the way you think about this. It's about fear. What does it mean to fear the Lord versus fearing man or people? Galatians 1, 10. Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. And the reason I put this on here and that I wanted to talk about it personally is because this is one of my personal struggles that I'm always battling. I am a people pleaser in my business, online with my content. community. It's really easy to be tempted by and having a fear of man, of people to try to win the approval of people.

57:41Nick Bare:And every time I find myself going down this road where I'm being tempted, guided, I have a fear of man, fear of people, it pulls me further away from God. And it's this like constant thing that I have to remember and reinforce and remind myself of, which is why it's so important going back to Proverbs 27, 17, having a brother in my case, who is close to me, sharpening me, refining me. Because if we don't have a fear of the Lord, we have a fear of man and that's where we start making decisions to try to win the approval of human beings. Which is not what we're called to do. Which is not what we're called to do.

58:32Nick Bare:So what's your take on all of that? Maybe I struggle more with that than you do. Yeah, but I also feel like you've taught me a lot about this though. We've had a lot of conversations about this because we both read The All of God by John Bevere. And before I read that book, that was one of the first books that I think, not one of the first books I've read, but like, as soon as I think we were aligned from a Christ standpoint, that was one of the first books I think we both kind of read. Yeah. And I really didn't fully even understand. I'm like, what does this mean? Like, am I supposed to be scared of the Lord?

59:12Like what? I truly like back to the basics did not understand the concept. And then this book, highly recommend, is beautifully written. It is very easy to understand. Yeah, it totally changes it. And it's the awe of God is kind of what he changed it to. Because I think when people say like, fear the Lord, fear of the Lord, that can be a little confusing, especially to someone maybe new to Christianity.

59:42Nick Bare:He can turn you off. For sure. So John Bevere kind of, he hasn't replaced the word fear with awe, but he explains it in a different way. The awe of God. It's almost like the power, like - Awesomeness. Yes, the goodness. And I think how I see it now is I have a fear of not being close to the Lord. That is what the fear of the Lord should be. Like you should be so afraid of not being close to him, even though he is so accessible. He's accessible all the time. but I am, it's conviction. It's learning what conviction is. And so like for me, it's like at the end of every day, I look back and I'm like, what did I do today?

1:00:27What do I feel convicted about? What can I confess? What can I just place my convictions in front of the Lord and just say, I'm sorry, like I will do better tomorrow because I'm scared of not being close to him. and being given the gift of eternal life, even though we all are when we're saved and we believe that he's our Lord and Savior. For me, it's just, I know I'm a better wife, mother, everything. When I'm in the word, when it's very clear to me what is true and what is right versus what is wrong, it's giving me confidence. Again, it's like a blueprint for me. so that's how I see it now like I I'm afraid of strength I I'm confident that I will never stray like we all have our moments when we're we feel a little bit more distant from the Lord than other seasons but I know that I I'm confident that I will never fully stray that's hard to say because I have no idea what life's gonna throw at me but that's the level of confidence that I have

1:01:38Nick Bare:it's really easy to lose proximity yeah as soon as life throws you a curveball and you start chasing after this curveball like you can become distant pretty quickly and that's why like when I find myself in a season of stress and overworked and anxious and anger. It's because I find myself chasing this rabbit that's tempting me and creating distance between me and my relationship with Christ. That's the enemy. That's why we have to wake up every day, die to ourselves, take up our cross, follow him. And it's really hard. It's really hard to do that every single day. I think it looks different for both of us too.

1:02:35Like, I know that's how, that's when you feel distant, right? When you have that rabbit out in front of you, like chase this, come get this.

1:02:44Nick Bare:Yeah. Whether it's success, work, whatever. For me, when I feel distant, it's when it's more of, it's like an anxiety thing. Like I have really bad health anxiety since becoming a mom. And when I kept myself in those spirals, I could still be in the Bible every day. but my mind is off doing other different things. That's when I know that my fear of the Lord is not in check because I'm still letting my thoughts, my fears take over my day, my mind, my actions, my words, everything. It just looks different. Where you worry the most, you trust God the least. Yeah. Exposes you to your vulnerabilities and weaknesses.

1:03:39It's hard. It's an ongoing thing.

1:03:44Nick Bare:Committing your life to Christ and surrendering, it's a daily decision. Yeah. They told us it would be more difficult. That they did. Well, this was a great conversation. We laughed, we cried. We have never cried on a podcast before. Dang it, Forrest. Dang it, Forrest. I gotcha. I mean, I can count on my one hand the times I've seen you cry. And today, September 11th, 2026. I think that's probably number five. Man. That was good. Thanks. Thanks for coming on. Thank you. We got your beef and rice waiting for you in my office. acts of service. Yep. Until next time. Thank you. I feel loved. Thank you.

1:04:38Nick Bare:Love you. Love you.