Money Expert Reacts to INSANE Reddit Finance Posts (AITA)

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2:51What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Personal Finance Podcast. I'm your host, Andrew, founder of MasterMoney.co. And today on the Personal Finance Podcast, we're going to be diving into crazy Reddit situations. If you guys have any questions, make sure you join the MasterMoney newsletter by going to MasterMoney.co slash newsletter. And don't forget to follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or whatever podcast player you listen to this podcast on. And if you want to help out the show, consider leaving a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast player.

3:26Now, today, we're going to be diving into crazy stories that we found on Reddit. Now, this is going to be a really, really fun episode. This is going to be a different style of episode than what we normally do. And so this is going to be one where my wife, Irene, say hi, Irene. Hi. Is going to be reacting to, or is going to be reading some of these stories that we found on Reddit. And then what we're going to be doing is diving into some of these situations. Some of these are crazy relationship situations. Some of these are fights with in-laws. Some of these are even people, you know, cutting off their kids.

3:57And so this is going to be one of those episodes that I think you guys are really, really going to enjoy. So we're not going to waste any more time. So without further ado, let's get into it. Am I in the wrong for not lending my boyfriend $1 ,600 to pay his taxes by next week, even though I have the money? My boyfriend has been asking me to let him borrow around$1 ,600 for the taxes that he's been needing to pay. Mind you, this is for the October 15th extended deadline. He was supposed to pay this back in March, but couldn't afford it. So he asked for an IRS extension. I've been reminding him that he needs to save money so he can pay it off.

4:39But all he likes to do is spend. On top of that, he's barely making the minimum wage at his job. I have let him borrow money for his rent before four months ago, and I have yet to see that money. And he's promised to pay it back, but hasn't. When we go out, I also pay a lot of the times because he lives paycheck after paycheck. I am fortunate to have a well-paying job and fair savings in my account. It's not the point. He just never listens when it comes to using his money wisely. I am very generous when it comes to money, but when he asked today again, I told him no. He says now that I'm a mean person and I don't care about him and how he will end up in jail if he doesn't pay up when I've been the only one helping him this whole time.

5:31I feel bad because I'm not sure what consequences he will receive. He has been acting pretty dry with me this morning now. So am I in the wrong for not letting him borrow money, even though I have it? I want you guys to understand something, whether it is someone in a relationship or it is someone in your family or a friend who keeps asking you for money. And if you keep giving them money and they don't pay you back, this is just going to be a black hole and it's going to continue to happen over and over and over again. And at some point in time, you have to draw a line in the sand and you have to put your foot down unless you're willing to keep giving that person money and not expecting to get it back.

6:10And so in this situation, she told him, hey, you need to start saving up for this big tax bill that's coming up every single month. And she can see his spending habits. She can see how he's spending money. He's not prioritizing saving for the tax bill. There's nothing wrong whatsoever with drawing this line in the sand again. So he already owes her rent money. He spends freely without paying any of those bills. He doesn't prioritize his savings or his tax bill. And that's the huge problem. Now, saying stuff like I'm going to go to jail or you're just a mean person. Those are just all guilt trips.

6:35They are just deflections trying to get her to give him the money. They are all just different negotiation tactics to make her feel guilty. And so that is something that is a huge red flag and honestly, huge, huge deal. Now she has the money in her account. This is why she's feeling guilty and why she's wondering about this. But just because you have the money doesn't mean you're obligated to use it or to give it to someone if you don't want to. Now, boundaries are also a form of self-respect and not cruelty. I know people in our lives that get taken advantage of over and over and over again. And if someone guilts you for not funding their irresponsibility, it's a sign, not a one-off moment that you need to make sure that you're taking care of it.

7:10And so this is just someone who is financially incompetent and really, really important that you make sure that you recognize that red flag in any relationship, whether it's family, friends, and or a boyfriend or girlfriend. So leave a comment down below on Spotify or in YouTube and let us know for this first one, what do you think about this and how would you react if someone did this to you? All right, let's jump into number two. Am I in the wrong for telling a woman to charge a guy more at a yard sale? I was shopping around our city's yard sales yesterday and stopped to look through some clothes.

7:44While I was looking, a guy walked up and asked the old lady running the sale if she had anything golf related. My ears perked up because I have just recently gotten into golf. The lady said she had her late husband's clubs but didn't know what they would be worth, so she dragged them out to show the guy. It was obvious the guy knew golf by the way he took a couple practice swings, and you could tell by his car and clothing he appeared to be well off. As he looked around the bag, the lady was telling him that her husband had just passed and that she didn't know if the clubs were worth anything.

8:21He said they weren't great and offered$200 for everything. She seemed hesitant and she said she didn't know. And he just kind of talked over her and said, here, I'll go grab the money and walk towards his car. I walked over to see what was in the bag. And for anyone who knows golf, I'll throw this out there. Almost new GT3 driver, a three wood gently used Mizuno, irons, nice titleless wedges, a very nice looking Scotty putter, great condition. And for those who don't know, those are all really good clubs. So they had a really nice driver. They had a Mizuno set of irons, which are always very expensive.

8:59And then they had a Scotty Cameron putter, which is usually around like$400 just for that putter. This stuff combined would be a steal at$1 ,000. Obviously, this lady's late husband had spent a good penny on the clubs and I felt bad for her. So I told her she should pass on the guy's offer and have someone at the local Courses Pro Shop help her price out the stuff if she wanted to sell it. She seemed totally shocked when I told her the driver and three wood were probably worth$800 alone. When the guy came back, he was glaring at me. When he tried to hand the lady the cash, she said no thanks and that she was going to get the stuff appraised.

9:41He got upset and told her she can't back out of a deal. So I chimed in that they didn't really make a deal. He got mad at me and told me I needed to mind my own business. The lady then told him she wasn't interested again and to please leave. He walked to the end of the driveway and just stood there like my toddler would. Before he walked away, he called me a jerk and stomped off. The whole thing was more funny than anything to me. I was telling this story to my co-workers today and they were all dogging on me saying I should have kept my mouth shut and I should have let the guy get a good deal, but it felt wrong to let him rip her off.

10:22So am I in the wrong here? This is a really interesting situation because I have seen people like there's people who do this for a living. So what they do is they go to different garage sales and they find items and they go and flip those items. And golf is one of those huge items that a lot of people go and look for. So there are people you can find on TikTok or Instagram who actually go out and they'll go try to find value clubs or clubs that make a lot of sense where they'll get them as really good deals. But trying to rip off a widow is a different situation where that person could probably flip those clubs for anywhere from$800 to$1 ,500.

10:53And so in that situation, giving someone$200 instead of closer to fair market value, I think is a complete ripoff. And so because of this, I don't think he's a jerk whatsoever. Instead, he stepped in because it was a widow, someone who really doesn't know what's going on, you know, who just lost her husband. I think that's a very different situation than buying it from the original owner. If the original owner standing there, He knew what he paid for those clubs and he's willing to give them away for$200. That's one thing. But if it's someone who has no idea what the value is worth, who is just trying to sell some items at their local garage sale, they recently lost their husband and just passed.

11:25I think that is a huge, huge rip off and ensures that he's really not a jerk at all. Now, there's a couple of huge takeaways. If you have something like this, like if you have golf clubs in your possession or someone handed you down something and you have no idea what it's worth, go get an appraiser, do some research on those items. And I know for a lot of people who are older, they don't know how to do that research and they don't know how to look on the internet. But for you, if you're listening right now, most likely because you're listening on a podcast or you're watching on YouTube, that means you know how to go look stuff up.

11:52So making sure you get that stuff appraised is really important. Don't skip that step. But also, if your profit depends on someone else's ignorance, that's not clever. That's just shady. And that's not really a business that I want to be in is just ripping people off and trying to get the lowest possible value on certain people. That's just not a business I really want to run. Some people, they're probably happy doing so, but not something that I'm really interested in. And then sometimes, you know, just stepping in and telling someone that, just trying to help them out, it's not gonna hurt you whatsoever.

12:19I mean, the guy freaked out, but it's really not gonna hurt you long-term and you helped out someone else who could have some extra cash. Do you agree with me or what do you think about that, Irene? I definitely agree with you. I think that it's wrong to rip off a widow. And I think that whatever you put out into the world comes back to you. So you should always do the right thing. I agree, yeah. That's just because of who it was. Like, again, if it was the original owner, I think that's a different situation. You know, if the guy bought the clubs himself and he's just trying to get them out of his garage, fine.

12:45But because it's a widow and she has no idea what the value is, trying to rip her off with 200 bucks, at least get closer to the value. Like if you want to go resell those things, get closer, you know, 500,$700. If you can resell them for, you know, 1400 bucks, then fine. But getting that low of a value is going to be a big deal. Or you can even tell her, hey, these are worth a thousand to 1200 bucks. That's what I'm going to go sell them for. hey, I'll give you 500 bucks for them and kind of give her that information. I think that is the more honest way to do it and saying, hey, this is what I'm going to do with these.

13:13I'm going to go resell these. Here's what I'm going to go resell them for. I can pay this amount and still make a profit. And that's how you can have that conversation and be open and honest about it. Let's get into number three. Okay, next one. Am I in the wrong for expecting my boyfriend to pay me back for money I lent him? I, 24, have been with my boyfriend for six years and he is in significant credit card debt and has been trying to pay it off. In the past six months, I have zelled him around$700 whenever he asks for extra money for food after he dumps his paycheck into paying off his credit card.

13:52It would be$300 in one month, a few months later$200, and last week $100. He tells me he will pay me back after he gets paid, but so far he hasn't. Normally, I let it go and tell him it's fine, but in my opinion, the borrowing has gotten too frequent for me. Maybe it isn't in reality. Six months pass and nothing. I brought this to his attention and said that it's not about the money itself. It's about you saying you'll pay me back, but never do. He was really hurt and disappointed in me, he said, saying how if I were to ask for money, he would just give it to me, no problem, and not expect it in return.

14:41He also said that he thought I was a person he could really rely on for extra help, but now he sees that it comes with strings attached and that everyone is in it for themselves. He also said that it wasn't easy asking me for help and he hates doing it. Now I am distraught that he doesn't see me as trustful source of help when he needs it as his girlfriend anymore. I never intended to hurt him or to make him feel bad. I just wanted to establish a boundary for asking for money and a frequency which I thought was too much. I never even wanted the money back. I just thought that he might be taking advantage of it.

15:28Am I in the wrong for expecting my boyfriend to pay me back or should I have kept it quiet and let it go? So there is some major manipulation going on right here because she turned a completely reasonable boundary that she put into place where, hey, I lent you some money, you don't pay it back. And so now what? I'm just gonna put a boundary line here where I'm not just going to lend you money anymore. And really, you've heard me talk about this before. If you're going to lend somebody money, there's really two options overall. Number one is if you're going to lend them money, you just give them the money, meaning that you don't expect them to pay you back whatsoever.

16:03And this is a really, really important concept to understand because here's what happens. Either one, you lend someone money and they don't pay you back and you get upset. Or number two, if you lend someone money, they don't pay you back and then you ask for the money, then you're going to be upset and they're going to be upset at you Even though you lent them the money, you helped them out, but you're putting additional pressure on them. So typically, if you're going to lend somebody money, then you need to make sure that you're just giving them the money. So she was not willing to give him money anymore because she wanted to get it paid back.

16:32And so she drew a boundary line. Here's a big lesson right here is lending money to someone when you're in a relationship only works if that person either follows through with what the deal was. If they were going to pay you back, then you need to make sure that you are getting paid back. And if you don't, that is going to cause a rift in the relationship. So it can get really, really sticky if you start lending money to someone, especially when you are dating. Again, dating is a much different scenario than when you are married. And if you're expecting the money back, that can really be a huge, huge thing.

17:02So a couple of red flags here. Number one is saying, I'll pay you back and never paying back. It doesn't sound like he had any intention to pay her back whatsoever. He was going to keep collecting that money and trying to pay down his debt. Number two is guilt tripping someone when bringing it up. If he, she keeps bringing up that, hey, I want to get paid back. And he starts guilt tripping her and saying, hey, I would never ask you for the money back. Well, the initial conversation was that you were going to pay me back. And so that's number two is the guilt tripping. Number three is emotional manipulation to avoid responsibility.

17:31So he's manipulating her emotions by saying, hey, I would never ask you for money back. And the number four is using past generosity as a shield for present behavior. Now, this is something I think that you're going to see a lot of people try to deflect and they'll try to push it towards other situations instead of what you were actually having the conversation about. And so you really need to make sure that you recognize these red flags. So a couple of key takeaways that I want you to have from this situation. Number one is money in relationships exposes maturity gaps really fast. You're gonna find out a lot about people in relationships when you start bringing up money.

18:06And there's gonna be a huge maturity gap on how people handle money when you start to bring up these situations. Number two is boundaries don't make you cold or selfish. They protect your trust. Meaning overall, it is you trying to put these boundaries in place so that you can continue to trust that person so they don't continue to deceive you. And that's a really big one. Number three, a partner who responds with a fair boundary with a guilt trip is a huge problem. And you need to make sure that you address that problem and or make a decision on what you want to do going forward. And number four is if someone keeps promising something and they never deliver, then they're going to do that in every other area of your life.

18:42And so you need to make note of that as time goes on. So when it comes to money, I think this is a huge deal. And setting those boundaries was the right move. Let us know in the comments down below on Spotify or YouTube what you think. All right, let's jump into number four. Am I in the wrong by telling my spouse what I don't want to receive on my birthday? My 40th birthday is coming up. My spouse, who's 50-ish, has a habit of surprising me with something on my birthday, which is nice of course but in the past years he has gifted me board games and statues of my favorite comic book characters while I explicitly told him I do not want either of those things.

19:25Reasons. We have plenty of games. We still have to play and we're running out of space to display the figurines. Last year he gifted me a figurine anyway. It was a nice figurine and I liked it However, I also told him I'd rather had gotten something else instead. Today, he asked me what I thought about a specific board game he thinks I will like to get it for my birthday. I told him I don't want it. It's a board game I'm not interested in, and I just don't want any more board games. He's angry now and calling me very ungrateful and impossible to find gifts for. He's done with this crap. up. He told me I should just go make a grocery list with stuff that I want then.

20:13I do have a wishlist, by the way. So am I in the wrong? This is hilarious because there's a lot of people that get hurt for some reason when someone tells them what they want. So I am the type of person, I grew up in a family where we told each other what we wanted. Even when I was younger, when I was a kid, I would give my parents a list and they would say, hey, what are some of the things that you want for Christmas? Because they were tired of buying me things that I really didn't like that much. And so we sort of just tell each other what we wanted. In fact, we still do that now. We tell each other what we want.

20:40Irene and I, we tell each other what we want for gifts when it comes to certain holidays. And a lot of times we buy our own gifts and just hand it to the person to go wrap. This is just one of those things where it is actually being financially prudent because you're not wasting money on gifts. That could be something that you're just throwing money out the window because the person doesn't want to tell you that they don't like this item, but they also never use this specific item. So if you're spending your hard earned dollars, I mean, you guys work really, really hard right now. And if you're spending your hard earned dollars on someone else, you want to make sure two things.

21:09One, it is money well spent. And two, the person actually likes and will use the item, whatever it could be. And so really having one of those lists put together, I think has helped us a ton. Now, sure, you want to have those spontaneous gifts. You want to have those gifts of sentimental value. And I think those are really, really cool. But at the same time, you also want to make sure that you are getting the types of things that you actually want because otherwise you're going to have to go out and buy those things or you're just not going to be able to afford those things later on down the line.

21:37And typically for gifts, it's a time where you get special things that you wouldn't normally buy yourself. And so that's where you can have those lists and put those lists together. What do you think? Do you actually like having those lists put together? I love it. You know how I feel about this. I like telling you what I want. I like when you tell me. I don't think that he should have gotten mad at his spouse for giving in the list. I think that it makes life easier. Sometimes it's one less thing that I can take off my plate because you're telling me exactly what you want. So I like it. And it's setting clear boundaries.

22:09It's OK to say what you don't want. It is OK to say, hey, I don't want certain things. And the fact that that guy got mad just means he wanted to just have her affirm something that he wanted to go and buy her. And so really, overall, it's just setting up those, again, boundaries. These relationship ones are some of these are ridiculous, like the way people are reacting and they really need to kind of hone down or check their emotions, I guess, on some of this. But gift giving could be a way to build connection. I know some people really are sentimental about some of this stuff and that's great.

22:35I think having sentimental gifts, you wanna buy something that can be an heirloom in your family or something like that. I think that's really, really cool. But at the same time, this is a board game. This isn't something that's like some really fancy jewelry that somebody worked really hard and they picked it out themselves and they customized it or whatever else. This is something that is just a game. And so getting mad about that, I think is absolutely crazy. So let me know what you think down in the comments below on Spotify or YouTube. But I think that's absolutely crazy. All right, let's do the next one.