The Hidden Emotions Sabotaging Your Finances with Jade Warshaw

21:55I can make a shift. I can focus on what I can control. And this is really, really going to help you. Because here's another big thing is a lot of people, and you talk about this in the book, a lot of people have these hidden beliefs. And a lot of this has to do with your upbringing or how you were brought up with money or different circumstances that you've gone through throughout your life where you have these ingrained beliefs in your brain when it comes to money. I see so many of these different beliefs when I come across having conversations with people. And I think it's just fascinating to see how different upbringings actually cause people to have these different beliefs.

22:23But what are some of the common belief patterns that you see people have? Oh, boy, it runs the gamut. I mean, probably one of the biggest things is the impossibility that it is to build wealth, to become a millionaire. A lot of people think that that is unreachable, depending on, you know, your background, culturally, depending on your economic background, how you grew up, the people around you, that affects how we see our life and how we see possibilities. So that's a big one that I see. Paying off debt. A lot of people go, oh my gosh, Jade, I'm with you on paying off the credit card debt. I'm with you maybe on paying off the car, but paying off student loans, that's impossible, right?

23:02So I would say that those two are big ones. I'll tell you another big one that is really interesting to me is I always tell folks that they don't need a credit score. I, you know, I haven't had a credit score in years and they go, that's crazy, Jade. How can you live without a credit score? And I say, well, for me, I realized a long time ago, I didn't want to deal with debt because it wasn't getting me anywhere. And so I thought, well, nothing's better than just using my own cash. I don't care about a credit score because it's just a measure of debt anyway. So I'm letting my credit score go. And they're like, that's crazy.

23:34How can you buy a house? I'm like, I bought it with a zero credit escorts. You can't do that. And so a lot of it simply is just, I say it in the book, you know, what informs our mind? It's kind of like chat GPT. You know, chat GPT, it doesn't create any new content. It just takes what's already there and spits it out to you. And a lot of times that's the way our minds work. Our minds run on what we've already seen, what we've seen happen to other people and what we've heard. And so every once in a while, something pops in that was never in the system, right? Somebody tells you, hey, did you know that if you just invested$500 a month for, you know, 30 years, you could be a millionaire?

24:14What? That's impossible. That was not in my system before. And it's kind of like sometimes you have to run these things out so that you can actually see, is it true or not? We can't just go with our first reaction of, that can't work. That's impossible. That's not true. We have to do a little bit of due diligence and say, well, is it true? Maybe it's just something I didn't know. Maybe it's this is new information. Maybe I need to run this out a little bit. And what I found is that if you take the time and really show people and explain it and explain the numbers, then it's like, OK, so logically, we've proven that this can happen.

24:48Now let's talk about your beliefs and why that's keeping you back and how we can kind of start to to run that out. And so, yeah, credit score, building wealth, paying off debt, all possible. I love that. And I think one of my favorite studies ever on millionaires is the study that you guys did at Ramsey Solutions, where you surveyed those 10 ,000 millionaires. And we reference this all the time, because it's just so cool to see how those folks actually became millionaires. I mean, most of them did it through their 401k. It was just so cool to kind of watch that most of them did not inherit money.

25:16I think a lot of people just have these beliefs where they think that, you know, to become a millionaire, you have to do all these different things. Now, anybody in this life, and this is what we truly believe here, is anybody can become a millionaire. They just kind of know the next step to take. And I think overall, that's why it's just such a powerful message. And why you talk about this in the book too, is money is like running a marathon. And it's like, you know, there's this long-term thing that we need to make sure that we have a plan set in place as we start to run this marathon. So what does financial endurance look like in everyday life to you?

25:45Yeah, what you're talking about here is the answer to all of this, right? We were talking about frustration and anger and fear and guilt. And at the end of the day, there's just this acceptance of the process that has to take place. And I love that marathon analogy because not only is it reminding us that there is an endurance there, but it's reminding us that there is a process part of it. So I remember when I decided I wanted to run a marathon, which my husband and I did last year, it was the culmination of years of finally making this choice. It was this thing that was in the back of my head for a decade.

26:20You should run a marathon. This would be a good idea. But every time, Andrew, there were reasons that I didn't do it. Oh, it's too hot. It's going to take too much time. It's expensive. I'm not in great shape right now. You know, maybe in a couple months when things calm down, there's always something that wants, you know, you to not do it. And finally, I hit my 40th birthday and I was like, man, it's now or never. Because the truth is, if there was an optimal time to do this, it's already passed, right? Because now I got two kids. I'm 40 years old. Let's just do this. It's now or never. And I had to accept that there were going to be things that we're going to make this tough, that we're going to be uncomfortable.

26:56And I was right. You know, when you run a marathon, you're saying ahead of time, hey, this is going to be at least eight to 10 weeks or more of training, right? You could be in that thing for three months training and every day gets progressively more difficult, right? That's the truth. The truth is you can't control the weather. Some days you're going to be out there in the rain and some days it's going to be, you know, cold or some days it's going to be really hot. whatever time of year you run, your hamstring's going to hurt, you know, all of these things. And you're supposed to run regardless.

27:28And money is the same way. Some days you're going to feel it. Other days you're not. Some days you're going to get your paycheck and you can't wait, you know, to open up your Charles Schwab account. Right. And other days you're going to get your paycheck and you're just like, man, I don't want to do any of that. I just want to buy a new couch or, you know, I want to do what I want to do. And then there's going to be times where you feel really good about the fact that you and your spouse said we're going to pay off this debt together, even though it's mostly their debt, and you're happy to make those transfers.

27:57And then there's going to be days where you're like, I don't know why, but this is just not hitting right. And I'm feeling really frustrated that I have to put my hard-earned money over here to pay off a debt that I didn't even create, right? That's the raw and the real of the whole situation. And one of the other things I learned about the marathon is that it's more than just having the head knowledge. Like, I know I got to wake up. I know I have to run, you know, 12 miles today. I know I got to, you know, wear the right clothes, all that stuff. But then there's kind of the habit side of it. And there's putting the systems into place.

28:29Like we all learned from James Clear Atomic Habits. Those systems matter so much. And it's the same thing with money. Can we put the right systems in place so that when our emotions act up, we still do the right thing? You know, when it was time for me to run, I would lay my clothes out at night. I would put my protein powder, my amino acids, all my electrolytes. I put all that stuff right there. So there was no getting past the fact that today I have to run. I'd fill my water bottles up ahead of time. It's the same thing with money. Can you go ahead and automate that transfer? Can you go ahead and set an alarm in your phone to check in with your budget?

29:02Can you go ahead and do those things? Can you pack your lunch every day and just keep it in the refrigerator, make it the night before so it's there, you wake up in the morning, all you have to do is grab it so you don't go to lunch every day and spend your margin on McDonald's, right? Those are the things that we need to be doing. It's the process. And if we can accept the process, we can win. Exactly. And let me, let me piggyback off your marathon example, because in 2012, I ran the New York marathon and I decided this was when I was in college and I decided, you know what, I'm going to run this marathon.

29:31And, uh, and weeks were coming up to the marathon. I didn't train, didn't train, got closer and closer and closer, still didn't train. And somebody gave me like a ticket to join the New York marathon. So I finally did it. I started the marathon without training whatsoever and kind of started to go on and finish the marathon. I told myself, Hey, this was all became a mental game. Like I'm not going to stop. If I stop, I'm not going to be able to go again. So I went all the way through, finish the marathon in four days for four days after I hardly could walk whatsoever. And this is because I didn't have a plan in place.

29:57And you're talking about the system and plan in place when you go on this journey and when you have this marathon in life is really, really important. Otherwise you're going to get knocked out and you're going to get laid up. And so you got to make sure that you have that plan in place. And like you said, I love the, you talking about automation because automation helps me so much. It removes my willpower from that equation and just allows me to invest. It allows me to save in my emergency fund. It allows me to save in my sinking funds. It just kind of gets the ball rolling. So I don't have to think about it anymore.

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34:41Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed Sponsored Jobs. One thing I see a lot, and this is really, really big, especially obviously in this day and age where we have social media everywhere. And, you know, we have our neighbors kind of overextending themselves and going into deeper into debt. but it's financial envy. And a lot of people are envious of what other people have and or are doing. They go on these vacations, all these other things. So how do people kind of think through, how can they kind of avoid this comparison trap with other people?

35:14And what are some steps that you took to do the same thing? Yeah. Financial envy is, it's kind of an ugly thing. You know, we've all experienced it. It's that feeling that it's really hard for you to celebrate other people, right? We've all been there. Somebody walks into the office or maybe your friend, you know, comes in you know, comes over and is telling, oh my gosh, I just got a promotion or, you know, your sister is showing you her new car and it's very hard for you inwardly to celebrate them. You're trying to like through a fake smile go, oh, wow, great. Right. And, and you can't help the tone.

35:47It kind of sounds a little, you know, not very nice. And it's just like, oh, you have a hard time celebrating people. Or maybe you're that person who, you know, you see somebody post to win on social media and you're the person who kind of slides in the comments and you're like, oh, well, must be nice. And you're making these comments like, no, don't troll them. Don't troll them. Just let them celebrate. And I get it. I remember specifically many times when Sam and I were going through paying off our debt, we were sacrificing at such a high level that it was hard because you see people seemingly doing whatever it is they want to do with money.

36:26Seems like they're winning with money. And what's really happening is you're feeling behind. You're feeling stuck. You're feeling less than. And instead of dealing with that, it comes out as, oh, well, if I had a spouse who made that much money, I'd be doing that too. And you say these kind of snide, kind of must be nice type comments. And it's tough. It's tricky. And so what I tell folks to do, I'm like, hey, number one, let's recognize the problem, which is the problem is you're feeling insecure. That's the problem. It doesn't have anything to do with them. They're winning. They're over there eating a sandwich, celebrating having a glass of champagne.

36:59You're the one who has got the problem. So that's thing one. And then thing number two is, well, what's really under the surface? Under the surface, you feel like you're behind. You feel like they have something that you wish you had or you feel like you should have. And if that's the case, can we ask them how they got it? Can we be more curious and less critical? That's really what we're looking at. Can we say, okay, if there's a person at work who left the job, they quit and they started their own business and they're being successful and you're still at the office and you're feeling jealous and you're thinking, man, I should be doing something like that.

37:36I know more than they knew anyway, right? Can you call them up and say, hey, let's have some drinks. And then at the drinks, can you say, hey, tell me about how you made your business plan. Tell me about how you found investors. Tell me about, can we do that? Because that's actually productive as opposed to you being at home, losing sleep over the fact that that person is successful and you're not, right? So I think that's the thing. Again, it's that awareness of being aware of your emotions so you can actually pinpoint what it is because nobody, I think if we stop and realize, oh, I'm being jealous, no one likes that feeling.

38:14Right. No one wants to sit with that. And so most of us, if we just allow us to realize, oh my gosh, I'm actually envious of them, I'm hating on them, then we'll go, okay, that needs to stop. What do I need to do instead? So it's just all about that awareness. I love that. And I think having the humility just to go to someone and have these conversations, ask kind of what they did. What are the steps that they took? Most people don't have these money conversations or these productivity or career conversations that they could have. And really you can learn so much more from other people who have actually gone out and done it.

38:46And it's just coming there with a humble heart and having conversations with them. I think that is just so powerful. Because they want to answer. They want to tell you what it is, right? They're happy to know. If somebody came up to me today and was like, hey, Jane, I'm investing for the first time. I don't know what to choose. I am so happy to sit with them and go, oh my gosh, yeah, let me help you out. You know, and so even understanding that people want to help, generally successful people are happy to share some things that they've learned. And so if you're viewing that person as successful, chances are they're going to want to help you get where they got.

39:17Exactly. I think that's just such a such a powerful lesson for sure. For someone right now who's feeling tired, they're feeling frustrated, they're feeling stuck. What would you say to them or what emotional shift do you think they need to make? You know, the hard part is when you're doing something and you have a long time frame, there's a long horizon from when you'll see the end point, whether it's long term investing, whether it's paying off debt, whether it's saving up for kids college. It can be easy to say, man, this is just taking forever. Like, can I put it in the microwave? Can I make this thing happen faster?

39:51And the tendency is to want to take your foot off the gas or possibly give up. And I always tell people, I'm like, the time is going to pass anyway. And that's the exercise that we have to go through all the time in our minds. I remember specifically back in 2008, Great Recession, right? Everything was coming down. Real estate was crazy. The bubble burst. Gas prices were insane. I don't know if you guys remember that. And right in the middle of that was when everything was hitting the fan with Sam and I with our debt. And I remember listening to Dave Ramsey on what was then called the Dave Ramsey show.

40:28And he was chilling. He was like, man, real estate's so low, I'm just buying up real estate. And I remember specifically being like, how in the world? Like, I remember feeling, and here it is, I felt a level of envy, like jealousy. I was like, this guy, he's not feeling, like I'm in a blender right now. The world is beating me down because I was smack dab. I was in debt. I was smack dab in the middle of all the problems. And I remember him saying, if you position yourself, he said, if you can position and start to do the right things over time, you will position yourself to fly over the storm.

41:07And I remember him saying that. And I remember thinking, yeah, the world is, you know, economics are cyclical. It's always there's a good time and then there's a bad time. There's a good time and then there's a bad time. And I remember saying to my husband, Sam, I said, we need to start doing the good things now because this time is going to pass and we're going to get out of it. And yeah, we're going to have scars and it's going to be tough, but we're going to get out of it. But the next time this stuff hits the fan, we're going to be ready and we're going to be flying above the storm and we're going to be looking at everybody else running for their lives, you know, and we're going to go, OK, we're in a safe space.

41:39We're not going to be caught up in the tornado like last night. So that to say the time is going to pass. And so from 2008, time went on. We paid off our debt. We saved up three to six months. And do you want to know what happened next? 2020, COVID. And in that moment, I was like, man, this is it. This is it. The time is going to pass. And when COVID hit, yes, it was uncomfortable. Yes, our business shut down for a while and it wasn't fun. But financially, we were okay. Financially, we had positioned ourselves, just like Dave said, to fly over the storm. And so the moral of the story is the time is going to pass anyway.

42:15That 10 years, that eight years, that 16 years, whatever it is, and you have a choice. You can let that, you can wake up 10 years from now and you can either be the same as you are now, which is unlikely. You can be worse off, which is you never did anything. So the debt piled up, the interest piled up. You never set aside for retirement and now it's time to stop working. You don't have anything, right? It can be worse or you can get busy now and do the things that you know to do and do them with intensity and do them with perseverance. And you can actually be way better off in 10 years. You can be flying above the storm.

42:52You can be exactly where you need to be. And people are going to be looking at you going, how did you do it? That's the point. That's what we're trying to get to. And it's such a powerful, it's such a powerful lesson. Just looking at this because you have two choices. like you said, you have choices to either, your choice is either, you know, you can stay exactly where you are today, you can go backwards, and or you can make the decision to make a change in your life today. Anybody in this life can build wealth, they just have to know the steps to take in order to do so. And that's why I love, you know, your book, because it evaluates the part about money that most people don't think about.

43:24And once they realize that they can control their emotions and control the psychology side of money, it really will absolutely change their life. So we ask a lot of our guests. But the first question, and I'm really excited for your answer on this one because I am a huge sneakerhead as well. So I want to hear your answer to this. What is your favorite Jordan of all time? The ones I'm wearing that day. So today I'm wearing... Oh, I love that. Today I'm wearing the Lost and Founds Jordan one high top. It's whatever I'm wearing for that day. So that's what you've got on today. I love it. Here's my favorite of all I have it in my background.

44:04And as a kid, I always wanted these. It's the bread 11s, but I always wanted these as a kid because I played basketball throughout like my whole, my whole life and finally got them as an adult and overpaid for them. But that's okay. It was, it was worth it overall. So I love that. So the next one is if you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be? Ooh, if I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be, don't take out student loans to like spend on lifestyle. I've seen so many people do that. And it's, it is over and over again. So yes, that's a great one for sure. What is the best money advice you've ever received?

44:43Best money advice I ever received would have been, yeah, baby steps, pay off your debt, save up three to six months, invest 15%. Like if you can do, there's seven steps, but if you can really just do those three, you were above and beyond in life financially. A hundred percent. And it's just knowing those steps. That's how people get to millionaire status over and over again. How do you plan to level up your finances this year? We're working to pay off our house. That's kind of the goal. So we'll see. Real estate's expensive. Not taking out any of those 50-year mortgages coming out. Don't do it.

45:18Just say no. Yeah, exactly. And the last one is my favorite one. And it's one that we get different answers every single time. But what does wealth mean to you? Oh, for me in this season, I don't think there's anything more time. I'm a big one. Like wealth is time. Like if you can buy your time back, that's what matters. I've got young kids at home. So if you can get to the point where you're like, I do what I want to do because I want to do it and I do it on my time, that to me, there's nothing better than that. because money is great. Like it's great to go to a job and make money and do all that.

45:55But if you're taking time away from your family, you're always feeling it. So setting yourself up to be able to do what it is that you really want to do on the time that you want to do it, man, wealth is time. Yeah, 100%. And I cannot stress anybody out there who is listening and they either want to start a family or have a family eventually. Getting that time back is so incredibly powerful. I have a six, four and one year old and it's just everything to have that freedom and flexibility. So 100%, that is absolutely massive. Well, Jade, thank you so much for coming on today. Where can people find out more about you, your book, and everything else you have going on?

46:25Yeah, thanks for having me. If you're looking for the book, you can find it at ramsysolutions.com slash store. Obviously, it's anywhere nice books are sold, Barnes & Noble, Amazon. It's all there at target.com. And then if you're looking for me, I'm always on Instagram. So just find me, Jade Warshaw, on Instagram. It's actually me running the page. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much again for coming on. We truly appreciate it and can't wait to have you back one day. All right. Thank you so much. Take care.