#111: Sage Bender: Leaving Home, Losing Himself, Finding Brotherhood

0:00Sage Bender, welcome to the show. Happy to be here. How are you, Mr. Chris? So good, my friend. We've got horses in the background. This is, this is, can we pay homage to how aesthetic this looks? This is such a good setup. I'm very, very excited to be here. How important is the friends that you have around you? Wow, we're just diving right in, huh? You know, it's funny. I got a comment on my Instagram the other day and I don't get a lot of hate comments, honestly. like people I have a pretty positive audience but somebody was like man you pose like a female like real men don't have friends they have partners and or he said real men don't have best friends they have partners and that was one of the funniest things to me I adore my friends my friends are some of the best people on earth we have a group of us from all over the United States but we have a set group within Austin as well, you know, Fonz, Ethan, Tin, Flacco.

0:58It's a great group of people and Noah and, you know, Noah and Fonz have both been on here and, you know, for good reason. Those people are some of the best people and we all walk different paths, but the unity between us is amazing. And the ability to have friends that look out for you and take care of you and are there for you and do everything in the same sense out of passion, love, and representation of being good people, unparalleled and absolutely necessary. And I think I grew up in a place in Memphis where I didn't have a lot of close friends. And then I moved to a place in Florida where I had friends, but they were bad influences.

1:41And one of the main factors in moving to Austin was seeing the way that the guys here worked and operated. And I was like, I want that. And not only do I want that, I need that. Especially at the phase I was being like 23, right on that pivotal arch in life where it can either go up or down pretty drastically. Best decision of my life. Why do you feel like you needed it?

2:09Sometimes the people that surround you are very important to... open your eyes to what you can't see, okay? My friends would all risk their friendship with me to keep me accountable, to see where I'm going or if I'm going down a bad path. I was in a very long relationship prior to this, a little over three years, and they were during very, very pivotal years in my life from the time I was 21 to the time I was 24. I've been through the most I've ever been in in life within those three years. Stepping out of that relationship was was the realization that I had attached a lot of what I had known in life to the person that I was with.

2:49And the negativity that comes with that is when you step out of that, you lose sight of yourself and lose sight of who you are and what you want to do. Because before that, it was always associated with someone else, especially when you live with them and you have a very close relationship with them. Stepping out of that, one, was the perspective that all my friends saw me go through this kind of crash out phase where I went and did everything and anything and just tried to live as freely as possible. Like, you know, you cut the head off the chicken and let them in the street, you know? But there was a time and point where every single one of them came to me individually and said, I'm worried about you.

3:26And you need to fix this. And you need to change this. And you are a direct representation of us. And you need to figure out how to be a direct representation for you that benefits everyone else around you. You're a leader, you're a representation, you're an influencer, and that's not just a light term. To influence is to lead. And you can do that in positive ways and you can do that in negative ways. And so the reason I need people in my life is I'm not always gonna see that. The path I was going coming out of that relationship was not a path that I was aware in the surrounding areas of who and what I was affecting.

4:00And that's where my friends were absolutely necessary in that. And there are so many phases in life going from 21 to 30 years old that you're going to hit those points. Every single one of us are going to have points where we struggle and need that same from out of all of us. And that's why we keep each other accountable. So the people that were back at your hometown saying they were worried like you were losing yourself in a sense. There was like an aspect of you where you felt like because, you know, when you needed the change, you were getting affirmed that by other people around you, you were mentioning.

4:31There was people in your life telling you that something was off. Is that what was happening? Yeah. I just like it within the Austin group of my friends. Oh, the Austin group of your friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So I guess like even if you look at your life and what people see online at least, it's a friend group that people are very attracted to and they want to be a part of it. But you weren't even in Austin and you got a part of it, right? Yeah. And so I think there's something to know and understand like, what did you do to put yourself out there to be able to attract people that now you get along with that are thriving that that make you want to win because like you didn't grow up in this big town you didn't do all of this stuff with all of these people it was like forged through whatever you've done in your own life what do you feel like was the thing that made you put yourself out there and be able to meet all these people that so many people look up to it's actually a great question and it's something that I think all of us get very frequently is how do I get a friend group like this?

5:31How do I live a life like this? How do I become like you? And I think this can be said for your faith, for your love life, for your friends. Okay. The goal is never you have a path and whatever that path is, that's for you. That's a straightforward path. You have love, you have faith, you have friends, you have passions, maybe sins. All these different factors are roads that can lead you off that straight path. My coach was somebody that has coached me in jiu-jitsu since I was six years old. He was like a father figure to me. And he had two sons, incredibly talented in jiu-jitsu. And they both quit because they went to pursue women, right?

6:15They had more potential than any two kids I have ever seen step forward in this sport. he coached me since i was like seven eight years old before i even thought that you know i wanted to ever look at a woman you know and like he said i promise you don't ever do anything you do for a woman or for a friend or anything solely focus on yourself and live passionately and perseverantly and through integrity and do all that determinedly and you will find your people and i do not have have the same accolades as any of the guys there. I came to Austin in 2024 to run the half marathon. Okay. I worked for a company named Haas and we're a fitness apparel brand and they were based in Austin.

7:02And my boss said, yo, run this half marathon with me or you're fired. And I said, all right, let's do it. He goes, I have some friends I want you to meet out here. There's some boys and I think you would really like them. At the time I had my own business. I had a jujitsu gym. I was training very heavily in jiu-jitsu. Never really ran. It wasn't really my thing, but, you know, fitness, fashion, all these other aspects were very similar. And within like a week of meeting them, I knew I wanted to be in that city. And I think that's to be said, like, obviously you have a great time with anybody. You're going to want to do these things.

7:33But the most important thing is that all of us have our own thing, you know, and we live passionately through it. And we all have our own vibe. Are we similar? Yes. Are we all heavily tatted up? Yeah. Are we decently good looking? Yeah. Works out. We're a sexy group. But it's so important to just solely be passionate in what you do. When I stop chasing women and just solely be passionate, work on my faith, work on my being, work on my integrity, that's when the best people in my life have stepped forward. In Florida, I had a very different life. I was a very Christian raised kid up until the point I was 18.

8:12I never smoked. I never drank. I never did anything. So stepping into living with very religious parents to having complete freedom at the age of 19 by myself in a place like Daytona Beach, Florida, complete tanked. And the way that I was living was solely for the party and the experience. And so the friends I had matched that experience and path. whereas now turning that around almost dying from that experience and then moving to a different place separating from those friends stepping away from that style of lifestyle the drugs i was doing and all these negative connotations and then being surrounded by people that were completely in a different light completely different life so live passionately through yourself and those people will come but don't ever chase it yeah if you do the right thing we're all going to be working like this and every now and then one of us will go this way and then we all just push it back onto the path yeah yeah it's uh that that quote uh that if you spend all your time chasing butterflies they're just going to fly away but if you build the beautiful garden the butterflies will come to you and uh and like when we when we think about that it's we spend so much time chasing but the more we chase the less we seem to receive you ever notice that the more you feel like you need something the more you feel like you are dependent on relying on getting the thing the less it seems to come into your life yeah and uh and it's funny when you just seem to let go and you go okay i'm going to remove this tension between that and i'm just going to focus on me and build this garden all of a sudden all these butterflies start to come right it's like the habits that you've always struggled to hold on to, they seem to become effortless.

10:02The people that you want in your life, they seem to just come into your life. The willingness to try something new and take a leap, like all of these things kind of happen way more effortlessly the less you put in effort on that thing that you're like feeling like you need. And I like this lens of being able to look within and go, okay, like if I keep going down this route, maybe I'm not going to be in a place that I want to be. Let's change something in our life. Right. Absolutely. Like, like my coach would also give me a quote. He was like, you were so busy chasing the moon, you forgot to realize you're among the stars, you know, and like, same concept, same ideology.

10:39And like, it's really a beautiful thing. But I think people overcomplicate life. You know, you have thousands of people in the world. Every day, I see probably a plethora of 40 new influencers, all with their own opinion, you know, micro influencers, regular people, you know, fashion influence. Everybody has a different opinion on something. And I think people overcomplicate it because they feel that they have to input everybody's opinion. Sometimes you just got to remember to break it down, keep it simple. And like life really is that simple. Live with love, live with integrity, be kind. And I fail at that a lot.

11:16I've had such a battle with God because it's, I know what I want as a Christian and through God, but I recognize how I'm living at the same time. There was a sermon last weekend that I went to that he speaks about. There's a difference between having good intentions and living in intentions. And that's something that is my greatest struggle. And I'm, I'm a admit that a lot of times the reason I publicize my faith is to keep myself accountable that if I am going to say this, then I have to do these things. and it's not always an ideal route but like it's a struggle you know and like you just got to keep it simple and and life really is that simple you know and i think i think fonds is a great demonstration of doing that and like having his own vibe and i've always respected that out of him and like it's very important to surround yourself with people like that when you say have your own vibe what what do you mean by that and what specifically is the thing that is attractive that you like like what is the is it authenticity like what's the what's the thing that that makes you go oh yeah like that about funds is is is good to be around i think two sides of that i've realized recently that like when you think about what we do we work with a lot of the same brands a lot of the same companies same races same people same events and so when you have that often with this many similar guys that are all doing the same thing it's very easy to lose sight of yourself and Fawn said this to me the other day he goes I don't really know what you want and it was it was like it it was a very constructive criticism thing on his part where he was like sometimes I feel you get lost in the flow and you forget to light your own spark you know and keep your own fire going and I think part of that is kind of partially because of what I've been going through it's easier to lean on others than to to be strong enough to create your own fire with Fonz I've always respected it very much so he's one of my best friends you know and we've gotten incredibly close over the last you know year or so of knowing each other and he's unapologetically him and it pisses me off sometimes but someone that is not afraid to say no knows what he wants and represents it well is something that's so difficult to do simply and I think from the very beginning Fonz has had a very unique vibe about him you know I have my own thing.

13:48I have a unique vibe about me. He's definitely a little more calm-sided variation. But I noticed that in the way that people speak about him. We walk around a lot. A lot of people come up to Fonz and the way that they show gratitude and appreciation for what he has shown. And I think a lot of that's through vulnerability. I've recently come in touch with my vulnerability a lot because I don't like being vulnerable, but there's such a humility about being a man and being able to face that. I think that's why a lot of my past relationships didn't work because I was too prideful to be honest with what I struggled with or why I would be the way that I am.

14:26Because to me, it didn't seem like that much of a problem. I was too prideful to recognize that these last few months of my life have not been ideal in the way that I treated people, in the way that I do things. And it takes humility to step in front of my friends and say, hey, I'm sorry for the way that I acted. And that's something that someone like Fonz is like, it inspires you to be okay with the humility of being a man we're so in touch as friends we love each other and we spend all the time together and people are like you guys are fruity you know like this is weird and like and we're so okay with that because what are you doing with your friends group you know what have your friend group accomplished my friends are champions my friends are amazing people.

15:10They have conquered so much in life that most grown adults will never even touch. And that's not to say that out of pride, but it's like, look at what we can, why be so prideful that you're not willing to show the times that you need to be vulnerable and have humility and just love your friends, man. I think love is a great thing. Do you think that, what's the fear I feel? I'm trying to apply it to my life and go, the moments where I feel like I should be vulnerable but I hold off I wonder what the main fear is like what coming across as weak maybe there's like a there's like a persona that you may be trying to uphold and then going against that and being vulnerable kind of like might ruin that and and maybe there's like praise coming from this thing and so you don't want to like show up in a different way do you feel like what do you think gets in the way of you opening up and sharing more of your stuff in your life?

16:14I think it's funny because I've always been kind of a sensitive kid. Like, I'm not like, I wouldn't say like I cry all the time or anything, but I'm very, very in tune with like the sensitive and soft things in life. And it was always kind of like a stark contrast compared to what I do. Yeah. And at first it was kind of like, oh, I need to hide this side because I'm supposed to be this badass fighter kid. You know, I'm supposed to be the karate kid. And then what shifted in the past couple years of my life was like, nah, I am that kid. So I can be whatever I want because what are you going to do about it?

16:52And then when you shift that perspective, I was like, I've done everything I wanted to do. I walk into a room and if you have a problem, I can beat your ass. but I will also talk very openly about what and why I fear things and I'm afraid of things. And I just think that like, especially working in the fitness community, like you see the, the, the, the urge to be masculine, everything's a competition. And that's the one difference between my niche and a lot of my friends' niche is because when you work in the gym, like lifting aspect of fitness who's strongest who's fastest who's the toughest and in jiu-jitsu in fighting i have the advantage in everything and so when i take that pride aspect out it becomes a lot easier to be vulnerable and i had to shift my my insight on that and some people get upset by that i'm like i do not care you know like i was 130 pounds when i was training in florida i was a purple belt.

18:00Not the greatest, but I'd been training for, you know, what, 12, 13 years at that point. And I remember a cop came in and he was like 190 pound cop, just buff as could be. And he came in, got his ass kicked by me and he signed up that day because he was like, what kind of sport is this possible in? And he had been lifting for years and all these things. So when I take that perspective, I don't have any problem being vulnerable. What are you going to do about it dude that's pretty profound i've actually never heard that before so normally fighter tough guy x y and z but but the real the real tough guy is the one that doesn't care about the outcome and has the courage enough to speak and and explain what's going on in his life because he doesn't fear the outcome.

18:50And being a world-class fighter means that you're not worried about the outcome because if there's any conflict, you can just beat their ass. Somewhat. Yeah, I mean... That's so good, dude. That is so good. It's not that I walk around in that sense, but it helped me come in terms with it. And now that I've embraced it, I stepped into this realm so deeply that I'll never go back to pretending I got to be tough about something. and I think there's a lot of broken people in fighting. I will say there's a lot of rough people. There's a lot of criminals. There's a lot of, you know, bad people in fighting.

19:27Oh, excuse me. There's a lot of bad people in fighting, and I think it's funny because you step into a training room and you will have cops training next to the biggest stoners you know, training next to a dude on parole, training next to a 120-pound female, training next to a husband and a wife, training next to a 12-year-old kid. And the unity in that is peace. And that's another big thing that has helped me come in terms with that is like, how often, like think of the last time, last five years of your life, you've gone through a significant amount of things, right? When is the last time you felt utter peace?

20:07When is the last time all the voices turned off in your head, all the worry? Not a lot of times, you know, especially as men. And we as men, you know, just we always struggle with that inner voice in our head, you know. And I've learned throughout the years and seeing this that like, I was like, why am I always able to handle stress and factors in these difficulties so well? And it's because I, before I even could ever think of something stressful, I started fighting when I was six years old. I had an outlet that makes you find peace if I go lift and I have a bad day I'm still thinking about what I have as a bad day the whole time if I go run I'm thinking about what I had wrong on that entire run when you go fight you get two choices you can worry about what you got going on and get your ass beat or you can let this go and you can focus solely on what's in front of you And that's why I call fighting like an art.

21:02It's not even a hobby. It's an art. It's like a dance with, you know, your soul and your mind to turn off and create something beautiful out of violence. I think that's the coolest factor. But it is one of the only times in your life that your mind will turn off. And so think of how few times you've had your mind go silent in the past few years. Imagine if you could have that every single day. Three to four hours a day. Mind just turns off. and at a certain point it's never about the sport it's about the peace that it brings and so then I can go forward and be a better boyfriend I can be a better husband I can be a better friend I can be you know a better son to my parents and that peace is more powerful than anything and then you know the vulnerability is more that goes hand in hand with peace and you become the well-rounded man through violence it's kind of cool yeah it's also I guess comparison points like when you're dodging punches and trying not to get choked out and you make it out of that fine then you stub your toe you're less phased because i ain't gonna lie i hate some of my toe a lot more and my ass beat as an unparalleled pain but no yeah i know what you're saying i know what you're saying there but i also think it just it does create this element of like tough there's a there's a toughness about you where like the tenacity behind if i could go through all this what is this supposed to be yeah you can naturally just be a bit more calm i like how you talk about this this peace pillar though being um you're not thinking about anything else um i've spoken about this a few times but uh i was i spoke to a a surfer called jamie o 'brien he's a big surfer um job in hawaii and I asked him what his happy place was and he said he said being in a massive big barrel and I didn't really like elaborate too deep on that but then I interviewed Laird Hamilton who like is a massive server he invented the toe in so he was the first person to like be towed in on a wave and I asked him again and and I was like is it a big barrel as well and he was like well sex isn't bad and that's what he said I was like I was like I was like is your happy place going at a big barrel he's like sex is not bad and then he elaborates on it and what we actually came to was in both of those things you're the most present when you're in a massive barrel all you're looking at is 10 meters ahead of you you're not thinking about anything else right and then when you're having sex with someone that you truly love you're so present and you're and you're really there because you're really enjoying it if you're if you're in there um but but like it's probably similar to that fighting thing.

23:51The reason it can be a happy place is because you're so there, like you're not anywhere else or else you get beaten up. And so I feel like there's value in being able to assess this, whether you're a fighter or you're not. What are the areas in your life where you can access the most presence and maybe those areas are your happiest of places? No, absolutely. Yeah. And then the benefit that comes out of it too, you know, I think a lot of men build confidence on a fragile foundation. And so then it's very easy to see when somebody is insecure about a persona that they made very secure, you know, and I think fighting, at least for me, in my experience with the past that I have, fighting has built a very secure foundation for the basis of my confidence, whereas some people don't like, but I'm like, what can you say about it what do you mean by building confidence on an unsecure foundation

24:52the most common thing that i see in men nowadays is a fragile ego what do you mean by fragile ego we see the expectations that we have as men in a modern day society and we have such a like deep like oh i gotta be this man you know i gotta be rich i gotta be tough I got to be strong. I got to be fit. And it's okay not to be those things, but you shouldn't pretend to have them when you don't, you know? And like, there's, there's a, there's a factor of like, in a sense, fake it till you make it. But like, obviously if you want to be something, you got to believe in it enough, even if you don't quite have it, but that's different.

25:37That's like building. I'm talking about there are a lot of fragile ego men. Like, I think they say, like, it's like a, like a 600 % over exaggeration that men believe that they can fight. Okay. And I love, I love challenging men to this ideology because it, their brain just like ticks a little bit, you know, but it's, um, you know, you see this a lot in like the lifter versus fighting community. yeah but you know Bradley Martin I'm 250 pounds you get diced by 140 pound kid who is really good at jiu-jitsu and it's it's not anything against like oh well then that takes away from its physical attributes but people struggle so much I think as men especially in social media to like pitch themselves as this perfect person and like you create a bunch of men that have fragile egos and like I noticed this with my friends when I get drunk you know they say like doing drugs or being super drunk will bring out the true self.

26:34And, you know, I've, it's funny to see the way that men act as like a compensation. A lot of times when they're drunk around woman or, you know, third group of friends. And this is what I always noticed. Like there, there are bad fighters that give a bad rep to this, but most of the time, if you're good at fighting, you will never get in a fight. You know how many fights I've been in in the past 16 years of knowing how to fight? Two. And my friends are always more scared for me to do something than any of my other friends. But I'm like, I have never, like, I deescalate any situation I'm in. I will never get in a fight.

27:14At a certain point, it's a legal liability, you know. But it's like the friends that have no idea, have never fought in their life are the ones, yo, what do you say, man? You got a problem, you know or like like you know like you ever had a drunk friend come on like man anybody tries you in this bar I'm a yeah I'm a I'm a slide for you man and I'm like why like and and that's always where that compensation of building a secure foundation on an insecure or a secure mentality on an insecure foundation is very frequent yeah I uh I I love this firstly I'm thinking about it's it's um there's a there's a there's an element here where there's a big difference between confidence and ego and i'm going to read you something in a second which i think will tie in perfectly to this but uh there's this element of when you've gotten so many reps in and you're truly confident with your ability in whatever realm you're talking about whether that's fighting whether that is running whether that's having sex whatever it is right when you're truly confident in whatever that thing is that you're pursuing, you don't feel the need to overextend and 600 % up yourself in terms of your ability.

28:30I'm going to read you this thing. It's a difference between confidence and ego. So confidence is rooted in self-assurance and truth, doesn't need validation, makes others feel safe, inspired, or empowered, says, I know who I am and I'm okay if you don't. and then ego is rooted in security and comparison craves recognition and superiority makes others feel less than or dismissed says i need you to see how great i am so i can believe it too confidence is loud confidence is quiet ego is loud confidence doesn't have to prove anything ego always does who said that chatty pt yeah yeah i was like oh what a book i was like i need to read that one yeah yeah dude well i was having a conversation with chat you be tea and we got to the bottom of it in this but but the thing is about this is um is like you just you just you basically said that without the fluff when you are overextending and it's like oh man like i'm gonna beat that guy up like rada rada rada that's rooted in ego because it's i i want you to see how great I am so I can believe it too.

29:46They don't actually feel confident, but they want to show up in a way that makes people feel like they're confident so they can believe that they're confident. Right. But you're just not. It's fueled by ego. But your lens is, I'm not going to try and start a fight. I'm here to defend myself if I need to, but I don't need to prove anything to you to start a fight. Yeah. So maybe there's a confidence piece there where it's like, uh i know who i am and i'm okay if you don't yeah i think yeah i mean exactly like people be like well why don't you fight like like you could easily stop this you could easily get involved and like i believe that people fight because they want to prove to their girlfriend or to their friends or to themselves that they're a tough man and their size is important i have gotten my ass beat so many times.

30:35I have been completely humiliated and I've had some 130 pound woman just destroy me on the mats. Like basically I've, I'm the only time I ever broke my foot was by a girl that weighed like 130 pounds, right? I've gone through all that. So I don't have to prove anything. I don't want to, I don't need to, I don't just, there's absolutely no desire in my hard to ever do that and and i think it's just some people just got to experience that i thought there's power in in like realizing that you don't mean shit i i keep like pointing this back to fighting but i i just i think everybody should get into fighting i think it's such a good outlet specifically jiu-jitsu some fighting is a little bit hard but um what is it about bjj that makes people that get into it feel so called to share it it's like a religion they're very passionate it's it's it's it's literally like a religion my best friend loves jujitsu the guy that come is coming in straight up to here i'm gonna go and roll with him for tomorrow i'm very not i'm not competent at all wait why won't you do that with me i mean i'll do it with you i got a gym that we can do it in i mean i'm down i'm down the thing is so there was a one of one of the first times I went rolling with a guest, uh, was Toby Pierce.

31:55He's a massive business guy in Australia. And he invited me on the pod at the end. He was like, you should come and, um, come and train. And I actually showed up the next day I went and I showed up. And when I showed up and finished at the end, he was like, most people don't ever show up. Yeah. I invite them and they don't come. And there was an instant respect just by stepping foot in the door.

32:28And there's something about this BJJ community that treat it like a religion. It's like someone trying to spread the word and be like, that guy's trying to spread the word right now. He's pissed. But yeah, and so what is it about BJJ that you feel like makes people in it feel so called to share? So let's run a quick breakdown. Jiu-Jitsu is the art of grappling, submission, and subduing, right? You use a mix of wrestling and judo to get people to the ground, and then you use submissions and subduing to control, submit, and subdue an individual, right? The beauty of Jiu-Jitsu is that it's for everybody, especially smaller people.

33:12There's not a lot of sports that are cohesive with size. So I recommend Jiu-Jitsu for women every single day of my life. I got famous on social media for teaching women's self-defense. I used to teach female dominant groups, sororities, bartenders, airline attendants, all throughout the United States, self-defense because Jiu-Jitsu works so well. I have an entire curriculum for women's self-defense because it's so cool. I kind of mentioned this before, but like you could have a room of the most fiercely different people and they all come together under this one passion. and it's a very respectable thing.

33:46Like for a woman, it's a little bit hard to get into it because sometimes it's like, oh, I don't want to roll with men. And then once they're in it, dude, they're like a homeboy. Like they're like, you want to fight? And I'm like, yeah, sure. And then you just get your ass beat by a woman, you know, and like, but you give that woman a confidence she never had, okay? The lawyer that has a family of three and has no time except for the two classes a week comes in there like a religion because it's the one time he gets to step away and have an outlet. you don't understand how badly people want outlets and peace in life.

34:16And not only that, I can go sit on a mountain and get that peace, but I still have to hike back down the mountain and then what? It's something so simple. You come in, you come out, but you gain something. You gain something very important and you never stop. There's a totem pole that will never stop growing. There is never a best person in the world in jiu-jitsu. There are so many upsets in the sport because you'll have somebody that has 70 championships and some kid from Brazil comes in and just annihilates them and it's so fascinating the community's gotten a lot bigger but I think it's because and like there's two very segregated sides there's the pros and they're just there's just such a difference in level and in the people that are pros in jiu-jitsu but it is the welcoming, wholesome, and the loving aspect of creating a safe environment for absolutely anyone and everyone to step into, gain something from, and have an outlet in.

35:16Women specifically, big guys that are trying to lose weight, you know, like a lot of people are like, oh, you know, I really want to try Jiu-Jitsu, but I want to wait till I get in shape first. And I'm like, that's like, you know, I'm like, why? You know, like that's the whole point, You know, a woman that got assaulted, you know, I've worked with thousands of women that have gone through some of the most traumatic things you could have ever imagined. And I showed them one lesson and years later, they'll DM me. You have no idea how you changed my life. And I had no idea. I was just solely teaching, you know, and I've heard some of the worst stories you have ever heard of your life of what some woman have been put through.