In short
The hosts discuss how people discredit others online based on appearance/identity, using their own experiences as examples; then they shift into gym/training philosophy (programming, consistency, “systems not habits”), social-media fitness claims, and a “copycat trap” where men imitate what women liked about one influencer and end up looking typical. The episode also includes a deep grief and growth conversation: one host marks the one-year anniversary of his father’s death (Jan 19, 2025), describing grief as non-linear, choosing openness to whatever emotion comes, and learning to live fully despite loss. They end with “audacity” in business—making big asks (e.g., DMing Tony Robbins) and building a podcast through self-belief and quality.
Guests
Michael Smoak (main guest). Background: entrepreneur/podcaster and long-time trainer; he describes being self-made after growing up poor, battling depression and a breakup, and having a privileged two-parent upbringing. He also discusses coaching, business rebuilding, and preparing for an upcoming interview with Jesse Itzler.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VODiscrediting Experiences
0:40 to 2:55
A conversation on how people discredit others based on their appearance and background.
“Typical, two young, single, privileged white males thinking they know shit.”
Using Privilege as Power
2:55 to 5:15
Discussing how to leverage privilege for positive impact rather than hindrance.
“I'm very aware of the fact that my upbringing is quite privileged.”
Fitness and Routine
5:15 to 7:30
Exploring the importance of maintaining a workout routine and how to keep it engaging.
“You were telling me about your split last time we trained here and I've been doing three-day full body for ages.”
Transformation Narratives
7:30 to 9:50
Critique of unrealistic fitness transformations showcased on social media.
“and then there's some guy that comes in and discredits him and goes like, man, I've been in the gym for five years and this is my transformation.”
Building Meaningful Connections
9:50 to 12:00
The importance of having inspiring conversations and meaningful connections in life.
“So like the price tags in my life that I'm not willing to pay.”
Personal Growth and Goals
12:00 to 14:00
Setting clear boundaries on conversations and relationships for personal growth.
“I think those two things are just going to suck all of it away from me.”
Introducing the Concept of the Copycat Trap
14:00 to 14:40
Learn about the trend where men adopt styles from others in search of attraction.
“I'll give you a lift so you save some energy.”
Reflections on Personal Growth After Loss
14:40 to 21:20
Explore the profound reflections on growth and change following a parent's death.
“seeing the massive uprise in red bpn hats and tattoos and trendy running shoes and mustaches And mustaches.”
Navigating Grief and Emotions
21:20 to 24:40
Discuss the unpredictable nature of grief and how to manage emotions on anniversaries.
“So like in the moment, I think when there's so much anticipation, when there's so much things where like we're waiting to know what the outcome is, things take forever.”
Cherishing Memories and Celebrating Life
24:40 to 28:00
Understand the importance of sharing wins and the impact of losing a close relationship.
“But I think people create a preconceived narrative in their mind of, oh, I should feel sad, so therefore I am.”
Show all 26 chapters
The Importance of Sharing Wins
28:00 to 29:18
Discussing the value of sharing personal victories and struggles with friends.
Life-Changing Experiences
29:19 to 31:00
Exploring how significant life events shape personal growth and perspectives.
“And so the reason I'm applying this now is children's probably one of those things that will change your life more than most things.”
Proud of Personal Journey
31:01 to 32:58
Reflecting on overcoming hardship and the importance of resilience.
“It's the most like main thing that you talk about.”
Finding Strength in Challenges
32:59 to 34:22
Discussing how trials can lead to strength and emotional intelligence.
“I didn't have depression, but I had depressive tendencies for sure.”
Audacity in Pursuing Goals
34:23 to 36:39
The significance of having the audacity to ask for what you want in life.
“You cannot get perseverance and faith that actually fucking works when you need it.”
Becoming Undeniable
36:40 to 42:05
Strategies for building personal relevance and making impactful connections.
“So you don't even want to hear a slow down, bro, and chill out.”
Becoming Undeniable in the Podcasting World
42:05 to 45:01
Learn about the mindset shifts required to elevate your presence in the podcasting space.
“This is his date with destiny experience.”
Learning Through Trial and Error
45:01 to 48:26
Discover the importance of experimentation and resilience in creative endeavors.
“The sets, the lighting, like the intention behind the shots that we're doing even here in this fucking crowded, louded gym.”
Finding Balance Amidst Chaos
48:26 to 54:00
Hear how to navigate personal challenges while pursuing creative goals.
“way to get to one is to try and see how you can get there.”
The Journey of Weight Loss and Identity
54:00 to 56:03
Explore the relationship between identity shifts and effective weight management.
“I was getting like more and more worked up.”
The Journey of Weight Loss and Lifestyle Changes
56:03 to 58:28
Learn about the importance of accountability and active lifestyle in weight management.
“I was now doing 12, 14K because when you lose as much weight as you lost also.”
The Impact of Community and Support
58:28 to 1:00:44
Discover how sharing struggles can inspire others and create a supportive environment.
“We don't rise to the level of our goals.”
Navigating Social Media and Personal Growth
1:00:44 to 1:03:19
Explore the balance between social media growth and personal fulfillment.
“When he talked to us that day, he had 2 ,500 followers.”
Goals and Intentions for 2026
1:03:19 to 1:10:02
Understand the importance of setting personal goals and intentions for a fulfilling year.
“there is a a thing there where you go um like at some point you need to seek beyond number and build something that lights you up, which is important, I think, to know.”
Embracing Abundance and Fear
1:10:02 to 1:11:36
Learn about the importance of focusing on deep relationships and confronting fears to achieve personal growth.
“And so my intention for the year is, yes, I want to make a lot of money.”
Embracing Abundance and Fear
1:11:37 to 1:11:59
Learn about the importance of focusing on deep relationships and confronting fears to achieve personal growth.
“its 67th AI tool, and also your 67th security blind spot.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Dude, the last pod that we did has been ranked very highly. It's probably been the most reviewed, most loved pod that I've ever done. I'll read you some of the comments. So the top one is best pod I've listened to in years. This might be one of the best podcasts I've listened to in a very long time. This changed my life. Most impactful podcasts I've ever heard yet. And then there was one more that said, typical. Two young, single, privileged white males thinking they know shit. Podcast mics should be more expensive. Did we really get one of those? No, I made that up. What are your thoughts on white men being discredited because of the way that they look?
0:46I hate you so much. Well, let's get into it. Dude, how do I even answer that? Do you want to restart? No. Okay, so we're rolling. That's great. Typical, two young, single, privileged white males thinking they know shit. Podcast marks should be more expensive. How does that quote make you feel? I did have a guy comment that on one of our clips. Not that exact comment, obviously, but he said, these young guys don't know shit. They're both single and doing whatever they want. They don't know what it actually takes to be successful with a woman. And we talked a lot about men and women in a male-female dynamic.
1:23It's interesting how people are so quick to discredit the experience of another human or knowledge of another human based on their experience and perceived outlook on that person. Like someone looks at you and they think, oh, he's ripped. He's good looking. He's probably had it all together. Probably had like two loving parents, had everything handed to him, but they don't know you've been on your own since you were 18, battled depression, went through a bad breakup. Your family life was like shaky at one point. You basically are completely self-made. You were poor growing up, but people don't know that about you because that's not what you present.
1:54Those comments perfectly sum up the poisonous side of the internet and also the lack of consequence that comes with talking shit online. It's like, no one would say that to you in real life. No one would say that to me in real life. I think overall, yes, there are a lot of really bad podcasts and people that shouldn't have microphones and they happen to look like us. But I also think to prejudice someone or say that their experience isn't worthwhile because they're single or they're young or they're Caucasian, which is the craziest one, is fucking stupid. It makes no sense to me. It actually makes no sense.
2:33Yeah. I think you're being a bit light on this. You think I'm being polite? Yes, I'm fucking white. Yes, I'm privileged. I still made something from myself. I still used it. I'm privileged and I'm white and I know that. And so I use that as a superpower. Like, let's not disregard this shit. It's like, yes, I'm very aware of the fact that I look a certain way. I'm very aware of the fact that my upbringing is quite privileged. And for that, I say good. I think regardless of the cards that we've been dealt, regardless of the way we look, what we have is what we can work with. And so am I just going to turn the gas down and slow down because of the way I look because I've got a leg up over other people?
3:24No, I'm going to use it to the best of my ability. You're right. That is what that question implies, that you should turn down your desire to help people or share your perspectives because of your upbringing. Yes, I'm self-aware. I grew up in a loving two-parent household. I'm white. That does things for me because people have horrible stereotypes. It's like, what do you mean, bro? Like, yes. yes I'm privileged cool like now does that not mean that I can reach more people okay what does that actually mean does it mean that that that people like what what is what does that actually mean being privileged yes like I understand that I'm privileged I understand that that because of the way I look I've had a lot of things that unlock in my life I'm not disregarding that but at the end of the day I could have gone one of two ways I could have used the way that I looked and been like oh I'm privileged people are not going to respect me and I shouldn't be soaring into the mountaintops because of the way I look because there's other people that are far less fortunate and then I could be a complete irrelevant soul that plays video games all day and doesn't make any impact or I can go I've got a unique edge here that's going to be able to touch so many people and because of my blessed upbringing, I can have less baggage and less things that are going to allow me to sail forward without being held back and then make impact and live a fruitful, fulfilling life.
4:50And there's no alternative. I look this way. I can't just make myself look different. I'm not just going to be a different color. Yeah, that's true. I like that line of thought. What do you expect me to do because I'm white and I grew up in a privileged opportunity that I shouldn't help people if I have the responsibility or the opportunity. It's fucking stupid. What are we lifting today, Murr? Anterior. Front of body. Inspired by you. Our last workout. Yeah. You were telling me about your split last time we trained here and I've been doing three-day full body for ages. Still a great split. Still love it.
5:28But I was just feeling a bit bored. And you mentioned anterior, posterior and I thought, oh, that sounds good. Let me try that. And I've just been doing it ever since that day we worked out. There's something about doing something that becomes less mundane, something that's different for the body to hold yourself accountable. I find when the gym can get boring, you're less inclined to do it because it feels more like a chore. Whereas when you're doing something new, it is a little bit exciting. Equally though, it can be a bit like, oh, I'm doing this new thing. I don't really want to do it. I like my routine.
5:59But at the same time, there's probably a level of like motivation that comes with changing things up in the gym and trying something new? Well, when you've been training for as long as we have, like I've been training for nine years now. And before that, I was still training for high school sports. So like really I've been training for like 15 years, but seriously nine. And there will always be routine and there has to be, I think to get absolutely clear for anybody, just a quick aphorism for life. Any route to success is boring. It is mundane. There is a degree of monotony in it that you have to embrace.
6:31but you can still find variety inside of monotony i ran the same gym split for literally three years and i got bored of that so i'm still running a similar split i'm here three days a week anterior posterior and then full body on fridays but what i'm not doing and what people fuck up a lot is they change up their workouts every damn week don't do that shit that's how you make no progress follow a program stick with it for at least eight weeks preferably three to four months and then make switches if you want if you don't stick to something you end up letting things slide more like there's no that when there's no accountability you'll just like you'll let one day go by and that one day will turn into two days or three days and then by that point it's fully irrelevant and out of your routine and then you wonder why you're not getting the results have Have you seen those videos where there's some dude that has an insane 12-month transformation and then there's some guy that comes in and discredits him and goes like, man, I've been in the gym for five years and this is my transformation.
7:43This is a realistic transformation. Oh, dude. It's like, dude, you suck, man. Don't get me started about the fucking, I've been in the gym eight years. Here's my realistic physique. Bro, you look like shit. You look like shit, dude. What do you mean? No, like you're, what do you say? Your elbow bends way too much. That's the elbow problem. Dude, those videos don't let social media fool you. This is what an average physique of eight years looks like. First off, no, it's not. Second off, you need to control your caloric intake. Holy shit. Yeah, dude. There's something about like... Love yourself or whatever, but also you can get shredded in a year.
8:20Dude, not even shredded. You can get shredded in 90 days. Like we both did Grego Gallagher back in the day. That shit's life-changing, man. I forget we were both Keno Warriors. Yeah, dude. That shit's life-changing, man. Like 90 days can like completely transform yourself. Yeah. I get blown away by it. There's something about the response that we've got from both the pods we've done together where people, people like really like it. I know. And the amount of increase of people listening to the first one after the second one, it makes me think about the connections that I'm having in my life and the podcast conversations that I'm having.
9:03When you actually get along outside of the camera, the recording on the camera is so much better. I know. Like what people don't know is that pod went for two hours and we had nothing planned. Zero. Zero planned. And we had one little toilet break. And then the first quote, I was on the toilet before we recorded. And I wrote that thing down and that got millions of views. But like we had nothing planned and we rolled for two hours straight. Like people don't actually think that. They think it's all chopped out. They think it's all scripted. We just rolled. No, you had literally the opening question that written down that you made five minutes prior.
9:40And then we riffed for two hours. And shit was magic. But we were also together, like to your point about getting along, we were also together for we were hanging out on like the morning before we were chilling the night before that like we hung out so much and it just gives us i don't know i think that that's super important that energetic alignment like some of the worst interview conversations i've ever had is walk in say hello start the show it's like fuck there's no chemistry right now like we don't we don't even know each other yeah i guess like it goes far beyond that because i think when you think about uh capturing feeling bro you look fucking jacked man thanks man dude see on camera say the camera adds 10 pounds hopefully it's 10 pounds of lean mass one of the big things that i started doing this year um you know there's there's big goals and there's things that i've wanted to achieve but um let's go there's been big goals and things that i wanted to achieve but one of the key things that i did this year when doing my planning was i got really clear on the things that I'm not willing to pay.
10:37So like the price tags in my life that I'm not willing to pay. And so I asked myself the question, like, what costs am I not prepared to pay? And one of the key ones was having conversations that don't inspire me. I'm not willing to pay that price. Hanging around with people that see me as a dollar sign and not a person or see me for what I can do for them, not what I actually am and connecting with me on that front. And I guess with those two things in mind, I go, okay, I don't want to spend time with people that are solely transactional. And I also just don't want to have conversations on my show that aren't inspiring.
11:14For me, there is so much more vanity metric success that I could obtain if I didn't have those two price tags, because I could interview people that have big names and have an audience and regardless of who they are or if I'm interested in them or not, and then I could probably grow the show more and then if I hung around with all the rooms that are very transactional especially in places like California then I could get introduced to more people and grow the network more but what I just found is both of those things drain me so much and if my goal is to really refine my thoughts what I'm saying the things that are leaving my mouth then I would hope that I can reserve that energy protect that space so I can come up with the most creative stuff.
12:00I think those two things are just going to suck all of it away from me. And you notice it when you have a conversation that you don't like, how drained do you get after it? It's the worst. It's literally the worst. I'll respond to that once you finish this. Do you want a lift? I'm good.
12:21Nice. Easy. I'm going to go up to two wheels. Two wheels? I haven't bench pressed in like probably a year so this is gonna be interesting damn dude what are you weighing right now i don't know what it is in pounds like 160 i don't know what it is in pounds i think you assy fuck yeah 160 i think i actually i think i weighed myself the other day what are you like 78 kilos 75 kilos 75 kilos that's like 160 pounds yeah so um yeah i'm weighing 160 what are you um in your terms like 90 90 kilos I think what pound is that? 180? I'm like 100 I was 194.7 pounds this morning 194? yeah 194.7 pounds so I'm like 35 pounds heavier than you damn so I'm the heaviest I've been in a long time so this is what weight is this?
13:17this is 100 kilos damn boy math my litmus test is always if I can't bench 225 I'm a pussy and I need to do better let's go Come on. Damn. Oh, yeah, we're good. Holy shit, bro. I'm going to go up. I'm going to go up. Man, that moved way too clean. Oh, yeah, I'll do this. I'll give it a go. I'll give it a go. You see. Sorry, I didn't mean to default take the second weight off. You see, my mama didn't raise no bitch. Fair, fair, fair. 225 is heavy at 160, bro. Yeah. This is a lot of weight if you're 160 pounds. The thing is as well is you know my style of training. I don't do this shit. No, you don't do this shit.
13:57We do like ring push-ups and stuff. But because of that, I'm going to smash this shit out. But I wouldn't mind a spike. I'll give you a lift so you save some energy. No, I don't want – you didn't lift. You didn't lift. I'm going to ask for a lift on the next set. Ah, okay. Because it's going to be heavier. All right. Fucking lift it then. Let's do this. Count me off and I'll pull it. All right. Three, two, one. Yeah, I'm good.
14:24oh that'll do what i don't believe 225 bench at 160 i've definitely been able to do two reps that before that felt way too heavy that's crazy though what 225 at 160 that's fucking fire yeah dude impromptu one rep max so dude i came up with this concept and it's inspired by seeing the massive uprise in red bpn hats and tattoos and trendy running shoes and mustaches And mustaches. So anyway, I've realized this thing where there's this trend of someone obtains some level of attractiveness from a woman and then all the other men see that this guy's doing something unique that the women love. So then what they do is they all start flocking towards that style, that hat, those tattoos, that haircut, the mustache, the clothing, the car, whatever it is.
15:22So you're telling me like everyone saw Ian Fonzie and do the thing and everyone's like, I need to be like Ian Fonzie because he's the first guy I saw do it. And so, but everyone flocks to it. And then what happens is because the thing that the woman was attracted to was this thing that this guy was doing that was unique, everyone adopts that thing and it starts, it turns from attractiveness to typical. And I call it the copycat trap. It's a place where a lot of men arrive at after not getting attraction they want attraction they see one person doing something well but the reason they're doing it well is because they're being unique to them they try and adopt that and all it results in is a subpar version of the person that they copied and then they all look the same and then they get no interest from the women and then the women call all of those people uh typical and then they move on to the next thing that's unique and then by that point they've got this weird haircut a mustache tattoos that they don't even like and some hat that's gone all like sweaty because they always run and take videos with them yeah now there's the uh the austin archetype guy like i've heard that in the comments like oh he definitely looks like he looks like he's from austin like that wasn't always a thing that women yeah it's just luke hopkins and and ian fun but they were the first ones i saw do it yeah well i think look i love all of those guys and to be honest i think they should all keep writing that style because they actually own the style yeah the problem is is they have so much influence that all these people think it looks cool, but actually all the women are like, another one of those guys?
16:55I know. And here we go. I know. I'll help you up on this. Give me a lift. I'm going to go for four to six. I think that's what I'm going to rip here. Four to six. This is humbling, man. Okay. I'm bigger than you. Here we go. Let me know when you're ready. All right. One, two, and three. Perfect. Let's go. Boom. Great. Easy.
17:25Dude. 2.45 for six? You should probably try and actually do weights that are hard. Should I go up a little bit? Well, I'm going to go down. That makes sense. It would not make sense for you to go up. Three, two, one.
17:46nice there we go perfect two more drive those heels one more yep yep yep yep yep perfect what's been on your mind recently dude how you feeling about going into 2026 it's been on my mind recently actually I guess it's appropriate that I feel like you and I always have pretty deep profound conversations um this is only appropriate the day we film that today marks the one-year anniversary since my dad died oh wow bro yeah wow he died massive january 19th 2025 wow man it's not that i want to it's not that it's a big day um i don't want to make it a big day like if it feels big we'll do two tens If it feels big i'm going to lean into that emotion that experience but i'm just super open to Whatever comes up if it's happiness if it's sadness And I was talking to my coach about it He was like you don't have to make this a sad thing because you feel like you should it can be You can celebrate him, you know, you can do things that he would Be happy about like I was walking out of the house and I was Starting my day with prayer and I was like what would pop want me to do today?
19:04Probably want me to do a lot of stuff that I liked and that he liked. So it's a day of significance, but it doesn't necessarily feel like a day of heaviness. Does that make sense? Yeah. Do you feel an extra level of reflection because of it? Yeah, I was thinking about... Because you're a year, like a year's gone by. And so the man that you were a year ago compared to the man you are now and the changes that happened with the catalyst being your dad passing, like, has it made you reflect? Yeah, I'm definitely not the same person for the better. Like, I think I was talking to my friend about this, whose dad died two years ago, about how in other cultures they have coming of man ceremonies and practices.
19:52Like in the Maasai tribe, they leave the tribe for like four days. Like in early human history, there's these things where a boy becomes a man, these things they have to do. and I really feel like caring for my dad the last six months of his life and trying to deal with that level of emotional turmoil and then show up for my clients my business my growth my friends it didn't harden me but it fortified me and sanctified me and I feel like I became actually became an adult through that process for the first time in my life and the biggest reflection I was going to make a podcast myself about you know my dad died one year ago today here's what I learned from him.
20:30I think the biggest lesson I've learned is how fast this is really going by. Like it's already been a year. I remember the day I remember walking in and my mom saying, I don't think he's breathing and me being the one to confirm that and calling the undertaker and, you know, saying goodbye as they hauled his body out of the house. Like that feels like it was a month ago. And it's weird because it was a year and so much has happened. And so I think not only in death are we reminded the finite nature of life, but realizing these significant events, how quickly the anniversaries come and pass is that this is really, really a short time we have here on this earth.
21:12I cannot believe it's been a year. Like I actually can't, it does not feel like it. So, and that's the first time in my life people say that, that I feel like I really mean it when I say it does not feel like it's been a year and it's fucking crazy dude damn now let's bench damn because holt the old man would want me to train today he'd be pissed if i skipped yep all right how many are we going for here dude i have no idea this is 10 kilos more let's see if we can hit five again i feel uh i feel good about that all right i'll count you off one two and three yeah let's go
21:56here we go
22:01and i'll i'm not mad at that that's fucking impressive bro let's go i'm not a pussy Yeah, man, I think about this, like this nature of how quickly things can pass, but then equally, some days we feel like things are going slow and some days we feel like things are going fast, but every single time in reflection, we think it flew by. So like in the moment, I think when there's so much anticipation, when there's so much things where like we're waiting to know what the outcome is, things take forever. And then when we're in the moment of something that we love, things are short. But a hundred times out of a hundred times, for the most part, we look back at our life and we think it flew by.
22:51And so how do we try and cherish the moment when it's good or bad? And how do we make it meaningful, regardless of whether it's good or bad? I actually wrote a piece this morning. I'll read it. I was just writing a poem and I wrote, some days I feel I've grown so much and others I feel I've grown so little. Some days I smile, I laugh, I giggle more than others. When I yawn, I frown, anxiety riddled. That's what's so perfect about this thing called life. We have this beautiful friend named feelings and he reminds you you're human. Taps you on the shoulder when things feel good and pushes you down the stairs when things get bloody.
23:32Without warning, you'll be hit by surprise oh isn't that so lovely when that beautiful friend named feelings wakes up on the right side of the bed i fist bump him and say g'day and when he wakes up on the wrong side i laugh and say hey we're gonna look back at this moment and smile so why don't we just smile now then i make my bed and have a good day that's good man and it surmises you know it kind of summarizes well as grief the unpredictability you don't need to spot me i'm good here you sure yeah all right cool Let's rip it. I want you to hit failure before I get into a monologue
24:09You know you were red as a damn tomato. Are you talking about grief? Yeah Uh, the non-linear nature My buddy when my dad passed said that I don't know where he got the analogy, but he said grief is like an ocean Sometimes the foam's just at your feet and you're standing at the shoreline and it's manageable And sometimes you just get hit right in the chest with a wave And it's completely i'll do one more set It's completely unpredictable today. I feel pretty good I don't feel heavy or sad. It could it could come later today. It could come in five minutes. It could come tomorrow It could come not at all but the biggest thing i've learned in my life and through the last year of Self-development working with my coach and diving into my own feelings and emotions is Being completely open to whatever experience you have Like people Will assume the anniversary of my father's death has to be this heavy sad thing.
25:01It doesn't have to be anything. It could be. But I think people create a preconceived narrative in their mind of, oh, I should feel sad, so therefore I am. But what if you would be stoked on the day and just want to remember the person fondly? And so my only theme of today is like, I could feel grief at some point in two seconds, or it could not come at all. And I'm not wrong for that. I don't have to manage my emotions. It doesn't make me a bad person if I don't really get deep into it. I miss him feeling today. Instead, just want to live my life because that's but ultimately he would always say the same sentence.
25:30He got sicker and weaker. He would just say less and less, which was unusual. But I went to Texas 36 hours before he died, and it was like this big agonizing thing. It was my first keynote speech. I got asked to go be a headliner at a conference for creators in Dallas. And I was told him I was agonizing over it. And he said, what are you really worried about? That I'm gonna die while you're gone? And I said yes And he said so what we've said everything we need to say You know how I feel about you. I know how you feel about me If I go beautiful And he kept saying go live your life like that was the last time he ever said it to me But throughout the time getting sick I would ask to stay home or not travel or not go out my friends He would say you got to live your life.
26:17You got to live your life. You got to live your life And it's a simple statement, but it is profound that I can't nobody can let the circumstances they are in with a person, a significant other, a loved one, prevent them from living the life they feel they're called to live. So I went to Texas. I gave the keynote. I crushed. I got back. I told him about it, and he died a day later. It's like perfect timing. Like he knew in that moment he could let go. It's like, you're going to be all right. And then he died. And I'm grateful for that experience. Keep getting into these heavy monologues, and then it's like, all right, now let's go to failure on this press.
26:53Yeah, let's go. What would you say has been the hardest part with the dad passing? What would you say has been the biggest challenge that's kind of hit you by surprise since he's gone? I don't know that it surprised me, but the old man was truly my best friend in the world. We would say we're the only two people that speak our language. And so he was the first person I told everything, every win, every loss, every need for advice. and so much has happened in my career that he'd be so stoked about like um you know getting in GQ magazine flying to Dubai like these things that I think are so cool that he would be like what the fuck I miss sharing those wins with him because he thought it was cool that I was blazing my own trail no one in my family's ever really done that he was a big entrepreneur so really I just miss having a homeboy to share what wins with not that I don't still have that but it's different when he's your beloved well do you feel do you feel like you have someone that you're sharing those wins with or do you feel like you just you just don't want to share anything with anyone at the moment no I do I do I have amazing friends I mean we talk about our shit you and I yeah and I value our friendship so much because we're in the same line of work I don't have many friends that are but yeah I mean we have a group of friends that I feel excited to share wins with and they feel the same with me I hope and it's not a vanity thing I think you know one of my favorite aphorisms is a joy shared is a joy doubled and a burden shared is a burden halved so sharing your wins with people that's why I make my clients share your wins every Friday all my clients share your top win from the week I think it's important to have that so I miss that and I just miss the advice Like he used to send me every morning He'd send me like some inspirational message I throw them in my photo dumps a lot It's like every day between 8 and 10 a.m.
28:53It was like good morning and then some aphorism for life That's why I love quotes so much Yeah And you just say love you Like I miss those I miss the new ones coming in This is life Everybody's gonna go through it at one point or another I'm honestly grateful that I did Endure it when I did Yeah um here's an interesting line of thinking all of the things that are the most life-changing the sooner we go through them the sooner we'll grow and become a person that we're proud of and so this is the argument around holding off having children right like you know i was just interviewing a billionaire in a lamborghini yacht in australia and um he was explaining how he's like my advice to you is don't wait to have kids why are people waiting so long they're waiting because they want their holiday in europe and he's like hang on like that's two weeks of your whole life that you're holding up to just just to spend two weeks of your life in europe without kids it's like it's not the thing you're going to look back on and he and he's speaking about how much having children change his life for the better.
30:10And so the reason I'm applying this now is children's probably one of those things that will change your life more than most things. Losing a father or a parent is extremely life-changing. Going through heartbreak is extremely life-changing if you let it be. Having a failing business, getting slammed on your face, having a major injury, having something like having your identity tied to something and then you get that stripped away from you and then And you're reminded of, oh, shit, I actually need to find meaning outside of that. Like all of these moments quite literally change your life. So I'm not saying go through them and try and inflict yourself these problems.
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30:50But what I am saying is that if you do go through these problems, no matter how extreme or how great they are, depending on how you want to look at it, what a gift. What a gift. You know? What a gift. It's the most like main thing that you talk about. James 2, 4. James 1, 2, 4. 1, 2, 4. You count it on joy when you face trials of many kinds. And so, but like, I think there's something really freeing in realizing that that antidote that we always talk about, and it's a very common message around like go through more shit. But I think like we seem to forget it when we're in the mud sometimes. And so to be reminded of it is quite freeing because whether it's like something that we're scared to embark on, that's probably going to be great, Like maybe having children or whether it's something that's an extreme hardship that's hit us out of the blue and, you know, God slammed us down the stairs.
31:42Like whatever it is, when there's this big thing in your life, it is a great thing. Like that is magic. Every trial is an opportunity for transformation. But if you don't view it like that, it will break you. You know, I can't remember if I said this on our last episode or not, but like, I think a good mission to have in life, wow, I got to train squats more, got peg legs, is to just be someone that the kid in you would be proud of. Like, make the seven-year-old you proud. And I'm proud of the way that I handled the last 18 months of my life. Oh, fuck. That's good. That was a fire thing you were about to say as well.
32:26I was about to rip. Pardon the interruption, friends. That's the beauty of raw, unfiltered content. Sometimes the camera dies in the middle of the monologue that you were giving. And that's okay. Anyway, what I was saying in regards to our conversation, you talked about trial. I said trials are opportunities for transformation. And I said that for the first time in my life, I feel like I can say that I'm proud of who I am and not feel arrogant or like I'm lying, which I have in the past. I'm proud of how I handled the last 18 months of my life because it was so damn hard and I could have come out of that a lot different I could have come out of that bitter I could have said why God or why me or blah blah blah but it's been the ultimate opportunity for fulfillment to just share what I went through and how I managed to get out of bed and train because when you're really fucking sad, bro, like really sad, like depressive, depressive.
33:23I didn't have depression, but I had depressive tendencies for sure. Cause I was just constantly under emotional stress. The basics can seem so fucking hard to do. And if you can push through that, that's where I talk about like James Clear's belief on systems, not habits. I gave a talk at running man about systems that endure If you can show up for yourself when your dad's dying in the other room Or like, you know, you've got to bathe in that day Like shit, that's just really fucking terrible and there's no way around it. It's just terrible If you can go to the gym you can eat well You cannot depend on substances or junk food or gluttony or doom scrolling You can do anything like that was the worst six months of my life at seven months.
34:11So it dragged on forever, but I have like a deep rooted belief, not only in God, but in myself because of that. And I literally couldn't have gotten that from anything else. That's why that scripture is so good. You cannot get perseverance and faith that actually fucking works when you need it. Unless your feet are in the fire. Like if you heard the analogy of how a silversmith actually makes silver clear or how they sanctify silver. I don't know how they melt it down basically. It's like with a metalsmith or whatever you call them, the tradesmen, their goal to see silver like fully refined and polished is to be able to see their reflection in it.
34:57And the only way to do that is to put it directly in the middle of the fire to get it as hot as humanly possible so that it comes about shiny when you cool it off. Like basically God sanctifies us by putting our feet, our body directly into the fire, not at the edge, all the way in the shit, like all the way in the worst thing you've ever been through is where the revelation is. And that's how I feel. I feel completely different in my emotional intelligence, completely different in my reaction and response to anger or sadness. Like everything about me is different for the better. Would not have been possible if I didn't go through that so i'm so grateful for it which people sometimes think i'm weird for saying yeah i often wonder if i often wonder um you know that message around like uh type a people need to be told to chill out and type b people need to be told to work harder there's like a there's like a a nature and type a people that invite pain and challenge and then they're like us where they're like yeah go through more shit you'll get you'll get better um but then there's also a part of of a type a person that doesn't need to hear that message like no dude you don't need to keep putting your back against the wall like how about you actually go and hang out with your girlfriend and how about you enjoy the fact that life is good right now yeah that's also okay we're not saying suffer all the time yeah enjoy life when you have the fruits yeah like i think the reason the message is productive is because it's not when you're winning when you need the support when you're on a high horse you don't really need support because when you're winning you have so many people around you cheering you on.
36:47You have so much opportunity. You have so much momentum. Everything is just up and to the right. So you don't even want to hear a slow down, bro, and chill out. But when you're in the trenches, you want to be reminded that, okay, this is all God's plan and this is part of the process. So that's why the message is productive. But we also need to recognize that it's not always the right thing to do. Go through more shit. Throw yourself in the middle of a fire um suffering is good but it doesn't have to be manufactured you've never done this fact egg no so i have no idea how it's gonna feel well more caffeine but quick caffeine stop we're in the public gym now with all the peasants hey they're my friends oh yeah wow arsenal clip oh this is it looks tiny dude it does cut well it's the span yeah right talk to me about audacity man and why is it so important yeah so my my two themes for the year So I got, I posted on my Instagram story.
37:42Anybody who follows me might know what I'm talking about. I didn't say the name, but I said that I was getting a big podcast guest. I was asking to get a big podcast guest if they approved it. And I was asking for prayers to which a lot of you gave prayers. I appreciate that. Needless to say, it didn't work out. They said not right now. Didn't work out yet. But I asked Tony Robbins to be on my podcast. And one of my themes for the year is having the audacity to make big asks that I don't feel that I'm worthy of. like I didn't think I was worthy of interviewing Jesse Itzler and I'm interviewing him on Wednesday for the podcast and leaning into like, I am, I am capable of being someone at that level with those guys.
38:21Like I belong in those rooms. I belong in those conversations. But part of that comes from having the audacity to say like, Hey, can I interview you? Because like you say, or you said, you said something in the gym about me not asking a videographer to come out here. Like you have not because you ask not. So part of having the audacity is leaning into fear. Like it felt scary to DM Tony Robbins Instagram and say, will you come on my show? But the other theme for my year is quote from Carl Jung, where your fear is, there your task is. It's typically the thing we're most afraid of is the thing we're avoiding.
38:56And the thing we're avoiding is the thing we most need to lean into. That's just the way life goes. Everything you want is on the other side of fear and that is a cliche because it's fucking true cliches are cliches because they're true because of good advice yeah but also like what comes with it is realizing that you're the fucking man dude like like yeah tony robbins is a big dog but he's not trying to only speak with people on his level no one's at his level that's true that's right it's true it's literally one of one yeah like you like i i think there's i think there's there's a there's a powerful nature in understanding that you are the shit and it's not in a cocky way but it's in it's in a way that you show up and your aura and the way that you reflect it shows that you know who you are and you're okay if no one else does like it shows that you um you you you like who you're who you are in your skin.
39:56And when you can show up in that way, people feel that, people gravitate towards that, and people want to help you win when you can show that you want to win. And so by having the audacity to message someone, that is the very thing that will probably make them say yes in the first place. Like the person that doesn't ask the question, the person that doesn't shoot their shot, even if they did shoot the shot, that's not a person that's going to get the shot. because they're not interesting. Like you're not trying. You're not doing anything different. And we all know that to be true. I mean, I asked Peter Crone to be on my podcast before I was as large as I am now numbers wise.
40:37And he said yes. And it was one of the best performing. That podcast alone got like. You said no to me, by the way. Really? Yeah. I'm sorry. This is awkward. But that podcast got like 600 ,000 downloads. It's fucking crazy. And it was because I asked. Like that was a God-ordained conversation. I think the audacity to try at whatever that thing is. You know, we talk about how it's like shortening the gap between what you want to do and then actually doing it. Awareness and execution. Yeah. So like, I want to interview Tony Robbins. What's the first step? All right. Well, how about we see who the best person to speak to is?
41:13All right. How do I get that? All right. I got a big following. They're probably going to see my DM. How about I DM his team? Okay. That's the first step. Are we going to get an email? But what you got to remember though is a no is never a no forever. That's a no for now. You're still won by them saying no because they know who you are now. They're aware of you. So the thing is, is now it's your job to constantly level up because if they see you now and you keep leveling up, I guarantee they're going to keep seeing you. The biggest thing that happened for me when I moved to America, I got humbled.
41:48No one gave a fuck about me. No one answered my messages. no one responded to me and then i went on this tour and started blowing up and i started getting responses on my messages six months later hey man sorry i missed this you saw it man you didn't miss shit i just wasn't fucking relevant yeah and so um and so that's the same with it's always at those levels tony robbins it's like he knows you now they would have ran it by him they would have been like, Tony, what are your thoughts on this guy? This is his date with destiny experience. This is the thing. And he would have been like, oh, and he would have thought about it.
42:26He would have ran past it. I'm in his mental radar now, which is crazy. Yeah. Yeah. So that is the first step. And then now it's about becoming undeniable. Like Rogan talks about be so undeniable that people cannot tell you no. And that's my lens with my whole podcast. I'm not in a rush to interview anyone because I know I'm going to get so big that they all will come to me the moment they want to promote something think about all the biggest a-list celebrities they might go on chris williamson they might go on diver ceo and they might go on jay shetty and theo von they don't even they don't even do a podcast around these big big guys they go okay well let's just pick joe rogan theo von and steven Bartlett yeah and let's do those pods and nothing else and so like if you just get to that level you don't need to try getting these guests they don't have to do anything no like no like like you're doing them a favor by having them on your show how's that for a reframe yeah dude and I mean the truth is I think we're this is hard for me to lean into as well like this type of stuff I made a podcast episode about what it actually takes to live your dream life and what I believe it actually takes is like cracking the identities you have about yourself and what you believe is possible for yourself.
43:45Like it's, it is hard for my ego and to not feel through my programming that I'm being arrogant when I say like, you and I are next up. Like we are the next Stephen Bartlett. We are the next Chris Williamson. Like we're seven years behind these guys in age, in time. And, but my ego is like, you're not worth that. You're not worthy of that. You shouldn't be able to do that. But in order to live that life, I have to go, no, no, fuck you. I'm in charge. we are next up. And that's not being arrogant. That's not being an asshole. It's acknowledging reality based on past evidence and leaning into the life you want for yourself.
44:19Those guys all got to the top because they knew deep down, whether they said it out loud or not, I'm him. I'm going to fucking do this. That doesn't make me an asshole. It doesn't make me arrogant. It means I want more for myself. And that's what it takes. That is what it takes if you want to be at the top, is a degree of self-belief that can come across to the average person as arrogance. It's because they literally cannot see the world through the lens you're trying to see it through. Not easy to embody, simple to understand. The moment you can unlock that level of self-belief, that will be the thing that will make you win.
44:50And I don't think I'm there yet. I don't think I am. Yeah. I think I can go a lot deeper. Definitely. I think so too for me. But I also think that that's been my biggest superpower. that and then just caring about quality and caring about um caring about like wanting the best bro you do care a lot about the little things and i admire you for that you really do i think that is a big reason of your success like you care you obviously do the big things right it's so autopilot for you but you care a lot about the little stuff that people probably appreciate and don't even notice that they appreciate it.
45:31The sets, the lighting, like the intention behind the shots that we're doing even here in this fucking crowded, louded gym. I definitely think that you're, it's cool to fucking be a tryhard. Yeah, but you know what? Like I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. Correct. But I just care. Like, you know. I don't know how I'm going to do it. Like I'm going to tell you, like can you hold this closer so that it shows me closer while I'm talking? Because I think that'll make for a better clip. Yeah. Like right now. Like, if you, like, hold this. So what you can do is you can, like, turn it around. Oh, wait.
46:05Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can, like, see, we're figuring this shit out. Whoa. But see, now you can, like. Oh, there we go. There we go. So you can move this around. I care about quality, but I have no idea what I'm doing. And this is why you see these big productions, and then you look at it and like it might be overexposed or it might be out of focus or whatever. It's like I'm trying. I'm really fucking trying and I'm learning along the way. But it's not my expertise. I don't know this shit. But like I look at the best and I go those guys win because they're the best. So if I don't want to do anything like that, how do I expect to win?
46:48How can my head hit the pillow at night when I'm trying to build the biggest show in the world? And all my actions don't reflect that. How come I head up the pillow and go, yeah, yeah, I took steps close towards my goals today? No. And so my thing is like, you don't need to be the best. And in fact, the best way to learn is going to be by throwing yourself in there and figuring it out. I filmed this podcast in my new place in Malibu. And I loved it. Some of my greatest work. The whole thing was unusable blurry. I posted it anyway. it i was like fuck it i'm gonna put i'll show you it after this like you can't even see my face it's that blurry so out of focus the whole thing wow and i it was my first pod back in a bit i've not been recording a lot because i've been spending hours every day just reading and writing all day it's all i've been i've been it's been it's been very i'm recharging myself to come with a new set of of thoughts for the 2026 but i shared so many new things in that pod and i can't even use the footage and like that eat me up dude i was like fuck like this shit's my like my goal and i thought sharing this anyway is more of a lesson than anything i said because sharing it is showing that i tried something that i've never done before yeah i recorded a pod at sunset in malibu with not a single person around me with three cameras set up some lighting in a new space i've never used before and I just trust it in the process.
48:18And I think there's a lesson in that for anyone that feels like they're at zero right now and they don't even know how to get to one. But the only way to get to one is to try and see how you can get there. And it may not work out, but then the next time you record or the next time you try that thing, you're going to know a whole lot more about how to do it than previously. I feel overwhelmed.
48:43there's just much to do i have i reopened my coach relaunched a brand new coaching offer tore down my whole business a day with destiny because i got inspired that i thought i realized i was building a business that my soul wasn't in which was a weird revelation to come to and tore it all down told my told my director of operations my idea and she was like well uh we have to break everything that we just built so we literally restarted and I'm picking the last of my clients today of who I want to bring in, the 10 people. And it's like very hard to make the right call because 70 people have submissions and I can only pick 10.
49:16I don't want to let anybody down. I want to make the right picks. And then I've got this interview on Wednesday with Jesse and I don't, I haven't really done a lot to prepare yet. That's 48 hours out. And then on top of that, like I need to go spend time with my mom. I need to go be with her today. Like it's the one year anniversary of my dad's passing and feeling needed in a lot of different areas right now. But it's nice to be here and slow down, like get into my body and talk through it with you and just trust that it's going to get done. It's all happening how it's supposed to. Were your best episodes that you've ever recorded were the ones that you spent days planning for?
49:55No. No? I didn't. I prepared for Peter Crone for like the night before. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a little bit more nerve wracking because I'm in Jesse's home and I'm face to face with them. I don't know. Should I bring in? I mean, I'm asking you, honestly. Should I bring in a notebook? Should I have my questions prepared? I really just have five ideas and I want to let the conversation flow through the ideas. I think bringing in something shows that you cared and you're taking it seriously. So for example, I did this production with five real horses in the background in a horse stable in Austin.
50:29I had four recordings booked in. Every single recording pulled out the day before. I'd spent 10 grand on this production. We had all the equipment, the hire space, everything to get the whole production to life in Austin. All my recordings cancel the day before. And I'm like, oh my goodness. So the first day came, building this whole set. I canned the production team to come. I was like, look, I'm just going to go by myself. You don't need to come today. Come tomorrow. I'm going to organize the stuff. I went to Austin, spent the whole day building the set. I built the set by myself. And then I sat in the podcast chair for the whole day.
51:13And I just reached out to guests. I was like, I need to fill tomorrow's schedule to make this whole shoot worthwhile. Or else I'm just in the hole. And it's been an absolute stress-inducing anxiety mess. so I reached out hustled for the whole day like literally it was like red eyes eyeballs bleeding trying to get all these done get to the end of the day tomorrow's calendar was was full I had four recordings booked in for the next day four recordings were recorded at about lunchtime that day I was already two recordings in and I locked in a fifth recording five recordings in one day no sleep in this horse stable in Austin with horses in the background.
51:58Like you hear them shitting and all this stuff. Every single recording, I did zero prep for the five recordings. And what I did... I just literally felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders when you said that. And what I did was before we recorded, I'd sit down in the seat. I'd be like, don't mind me, I'm just transferring my notes from my phone to my iPad. And what I would do is I literally would just go on my iPad, type in their name on the top of the notes, acting like I'm transferring all these notes. And then I'd roll. Be like, Danny Murrell, welcome to the show. And I'm talking like each of these pods were between 90 minutes and two hours long.
52:43Long day. I got to the end of the day, packed down the set. I was like, I was actually a shell of a human after that. But I got to the end of it and I went, this shit's legit. I literally just spoke for 10 hours straight, didn't eat food, had like a protein bar and spoke with all these experts with millions of followers, with horses, a big cinema production, and I didn't prep at all. And these were some of the best conversations I've ever had. And so the lesson there is you're a communication expert. This is what you help people do. This is what you do. You are a master at being able to improvise and speak.
53:24So your biggest superpower is not the things you write down. It's what comes out. So if you trust in that and you lean into that, that's where the magic happens. Your best question you ask is not going to be one you write down. I guarantee you it's not going to be one you write down. It's going to be the one that you have come out of you when you trust in yourself to be present and to listen to what they're saying. And so ultimately, the way you win in this combo with Jesse is by allowing yourself to be you. And that's how you will. Thank you. Honestly, I really needed that. I really needed that.
53:59Thank you. So I was starting to sweat it as every hour of the day passes. I was getting like more and more worked up. It's like, all right, inspirational, deep, emotional monologue straight into a set of chest. That's like the theme of the show. Shall we migrate to leg extensions and then call it? Let's do leg extensions and call it a day. Yeah. I think everything is mental and it's not talked about enough. Everything is spiritual. It's not talked about enough. You hit this point in weight loss where I felt, okay, I'm going to speak for me because I don't want to put my experience onto you. I hit this point where I was like kind of teetering at the 45 pound.
54:34Yeah. I'd binge eat and gain a couple pounds and go back down. And it was legitimately, honestly, it was legitimately like it was time to either kill the old version of myself and step into this being my life or say I'm on a diet, which is why it doesn't work. People say I'm going on a diet and not, I know this is cliche, but I'm not making a lifestyle change. So for me, it was about actually saying like, no, this is just a way, this is who I am now. Okay. And leaning into my new lifestyle as like, I'm not someone who's dieting to lose weight. I just want to be a different human. Okay. That piece.
55:02But practically, you've already lost 40 pounds. Me. So what, what, are you tracking your calories? No, just eating like as healthy, as clean as I can. If I need like carbs on a certain date, I'll factor that in. Okay. If not, I'll just, you know, go about it. mainly I'm just working on being more active and more, you know, just like walking more, doing more cardio, lifting, just being more active in a day-to-day life. Okay. Well, that's going to work, but I'm just going to tell you like, if you really, if you want to take this to the last 20, you're able to get through a lot as you have losing 40 pounds.
55:35You're able to get through a lot getting in the right direction. But if you want to get that last 20 off, you need to be calculated. Like that's just what it's going to take. That's part of that killing the old identity like i usually just track uh my protein yeah and then uh which works like obviously the two like i actually track the carbs it's like day-to-day depending on like you know what i plan for that day i would say if it were me which i'm going to enter a cut here in four weeks i'm going to pull the food scale back out for just a few weeks yeah i'm going to track every bite i eat my fitness pal and the last piece is i move as much as i can like i don't know if you're tracking steps yeah i do but 10 000 every day and i'm go to 15 bro yeah every single opportunity like i am in between in between my sets when i'm cutting spacing pace like every yeah you know bro i know what weight loss is like you got to kill the fat kid bro yeah and he's in there sometimes yeah like being active is the easy part it's like yeah the lifestyle that's like the hardest because it's forever yeah exactly right 80 of people who lose substantial what up t who lose a substantial amount of weight uh regain that weight within two years yeah so like how do i not become part of the statistic it was about hammering in on the food scale, actually holding myself accountable to every fucking bite I put in my mouth and upping my activity.
56:4510K became not enough. I was now doing 12, 14K because when you lose as much weight as you lost also. Always increasing. Yeah. I try to increase a little bit. Yeah. Exactly. Because your metabolism goes down a little bit. Not a lot, but a little bit. Because it's just less energy to move your body through space because you're not as big. Yeah. People ask me all the time, how do I stay in shape while you're out yeah and i say when you love your food and the food that you love is healthy food yeah it's pretty easy to stay in shape my death row meals are ribeye and so yeah most of my diet is chicken rice and i just want to talk about it you spoke about it is there a little person inside you that you need to kind of kill and that's that little fat kid yeah and i think the thing for me is is that being you have message around me being the person that you want to be and doing the things that person does.
57:33And then a by-product of that is having that life. So the guy that always stays in shape, what does he do? What's his lifestyle look like? How does he show up? What does he eat? When does he eat? And then be that person. And then it's a matter of time that you shift the weight off. For me, I've found that it's harder for me to stick to the food that is less sweet or less spiceful when I've been eating a lot of sweet and spiceful foods. Yes. It's like a drug, bro. When you can love that person, it's effortless. And I know people might scream at that for hearing, what do you mean it's effortless to stay in shape?
58:07If your life that you love, by the way, is extremely healthy and evolved around healthy habits, the healthy body and the sick pack is literally a byproduct of living the life you want to live. There's no diet. There's no sacrifice. It's what you want. And that is the superpower. It's the goals are a byproduct of systems, right? We don't rise to the level of our goals. We fall to the level of our systems. Yeah. Yeah, bro. Crack that food scale, baby. Yeah, yeah. 1 ,000 milligrams in a day. Really? Yeah. Health and wellness creator here. I overdosed on stimulants. Yeah, dude. At one point, I was so dependent.
58:46And I still have bad days. But my energy was so fucked for the last six months. I think spiritually and emotionally, I had a lot of heaviness that I was still carrying with my old man. And I was also grinding and building this business and like saying yes to everything. And like energetically, I was just so put out that I was just depending. I was sleeping five and a half hours a night, training for a marathon and drinking a gram of caffeine a day. Like one gram, that's 1000 milligrams. No bueno. Celsius is 200. And boy, did that lead to burnout. I actually told Chris Williamson, I'd sent him a reel and thanked him because his video opening up about his mold poisoning and issues inspired me to make a podcast about mine.
59:28And a bunch of people reached out to me and were like, dude, I'm struggling too. I appreciate you saying something about it. So it was cool. It's also a lesson in there that my friend Nick says, courage is contagious. Like if someone just steps up and says something uncomfortable, everyone else is called to do the same thing, but it takes one person being the catalyst. And Chris was that catalyst for me. And then I got to be a catalyst for others. It's beautiful. when we last did leg extensions together we had a third person with us and uh we lit a spark in that guy to start posting content and um pretty incredible delusional desire that that guy jacob had from the time in which we we we said it we gave him this pep talk where he knew he was just in a job that he fucking hated he was so content he like was he was like he was he loved the idea of comfort he genuinely like loved the comfortability that his job provided him and equally in the same time he knew how much it was stripping his soul away from him and to see him actually act and be consistent was uh quite inspiring to say the least bro So, first off, shout out Jacob.
1:00:47Not really wellness on Instagram. When he talked to us that day, he had 2 ,500 followers. Yeah. When he first talked to us that day and we lit a fire under his ass, Jacob had 2 ,500 followers. He now has 140K and it's been three and a half months. And it's because he didn't miss a post. He became a student of social media and he had delusional self-belief. like he really was he said I'm gonna hit 100k by the end of the year and even I was like bro I did not you're at 3 000 right now that's 60 days and he fucking did it with five days to spare let's go one more this is gonna be a funny thumbnail I think um there's a thing that I I humbly reminded him and I said it with the utmost love but I did send him a message when he was really blowing up.
1:01:38And I said, brother, be proud of yourself. You've crushed this. But one thing I want you to remember is the thing that matters is not the vanity metric of the followers that you have. It's frankly hollow. And if you get so consumed by just your follower count rising, it will strip away all the joy from your life. I've been there. I don't know if you've been there. But like when you wake up and all you care about is how many followers you grow, it ruins you. And you know what's crazy is our mind is a psychopath. Like we get used to growing 5 ,000 followers a day, 10 ,000 followers a day, whatever it is.
1:02:22So then when we go down to 2 ,000 followers a day, we get in our head and we're not satisfied. And like, think about filling a room with 2 ,000 new people that just followed you. Net positive after the unfollows everything. think about the amount of people that is it's an ass low and and but all we see on social media is a two and a k i said to him and i was like dude it's not the thing that matters it's great that it's growing um but like if that's the only thing that matters it's going to be a very hollow feeling when you obtain things um and and this is the this is the concern um that i do have about the next off goal 250k it's like what are you going to do to get there that's going to maintain uh your soul and maintain you feeling full um and you know we both care about him deeply and so i i i i i know he's going to figure it out and it's all part of the process but there is a a thing there where you go um like at some point you need to seek beyond number and build something that lights you up, which is important, I think, to know.
1:03:34Yeah, I agree. And he will figure that out because he's a smart dude. But if you move the needle, and Jacob's going to probably watch this, so he's listening to us say this right now. For sure. It was 100K in the bio, now it's 250K, but then what? It's 500K? Yeah. My life didn't change at all when I hit a million on TikTok. Didn't change when I hit 2 million on TikTok. It's not going to change when I hit 3 or a million on Instagram. Now, it's a fun goal to chase. Like, I'm excited for that to happen. Oh, one million followers on IG is like, somehow feels more legit than TikTok. I don't know how or why, but regardless.
1:04:06It holds my weight, that's why. It does, but it's not actually gonna do anything. My life doesn't change from another 100 ,000 followers. It just doesn't. No. And you're right. If you keep dangling the carrot and moving the needle, then you're gonna become empty. Like, Chris Williamson talked about that. He was in an episode about, first it was 100 ,000 subscribers, then 200 ,000, then he hit a million and he just kept saying, okay, what's next? And never stopped to be like, wow, this is really beautiful what I'm doing, whether it's 100 ,000 or a million. And that's literally the recipe to burnout.
1:04:37So you can't be chasing vanity metrics like you said. For me, the one thing that I chase, I don't wanna speak for you, the one thing that I chase is impact, impact. One of the texts my dad sent me that I post often is, if you help just one person today, think about how many more that is than most people will ever help in their lives. Most people go through their day and they don't think about another person or they even make people's day worse because they're assholes. So if you just make one person's day notably better, that is more than most people will do in a lifetime. And if you aim to help the one because we're all the same, you know, scripture says there's nothing new under the sun, just new people doing it.
1:05:16If you help one, you help thousands because everybody's going through the same shit. That's the lens I view content through. As we close this out, I'd love to know how you're feeling about 2026. What are some of the goals? What's the intention? What are you trying to set coming into this year? And what's something that you're trying to emphasize for everything that you're doing in 2026? I set goals at the Tony Robbins, the date with destiny event. And he asked us to set four one year goals and I've been speaking them out, which has scared me and challenged my ego and identity a lot. I think this is going to be the craziest year of my life.
1:05:48I think I'm going to do things if I'm able to step into the identity that I feel like God's calling me towards to help people and serve people, if I honor my mission statement for life, which is to be in service of others, then I'm gonna be in some incredible positions to help more and more people. That's all I care about. But nice. VMO looking nice. Let's go. I'll share those with you after you hit failure. Come on, come on, come on. Drive one more, drive one more. Don't be a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. I know that my purpose in this life is to be in complete service to others, to be fully present with everyone that I meet, and to do something good for the world and myself every day.
1:06:28That's the nature of the frame of the mission statement that Tony makes his seminar participants do. And being clear on what my mission is, which is service, has made me so much more inspired to help as many as I can, whether I get paid or not, free or not, doesn't matter. I just want to help. My goals, specifically, that I speak out, because I think that's, people say like, don't let people know what you're working on. I think that's bullshit. to think that's bad advice. Don't let people know your goals and aspirations. Fuck you. That's lame. I think when you tell people, you put pressure on yourself.
1:06:56Like when I told people I was going to run a sub four marathon in my first ever race, I was like, well, now I got to do it. I don't look like a pussy. And so writing out and then speaking out the goals also makes them real. Like when we say things out loud, our reticular activating system in our brain starts to notice things that align with those goals. Because our brain or our RAS is our pattern recognition area of the brain. So my goals are, I want to speak in front of 10 ,000 people. I want to get on one of the four top four biggest podcasts in the world. Who's that? Uh, either Rogan diary of a CEO, modern wisdom, or on purpose with Jay or Huberman, but I don't think I'm heady enough for that one.
1:07:35I think he looks for more scientists, scientists guys, or to have any one of them on my show, either one, one I wrote down. This is, this is, if you're still here, you deserve to hear this. Cause this is the end of the podcast. I wrote down that I want to meet the love of my life this year. It worked. I don't know why I wrote it. I just felt like inspired to write it down. And so I wrote it down on the list. Meet the love of my life. That doesn't mean get married this year, but like meet or realize the girl if I already know her, that I'm like, oh shit, that's my wife. Yeah. Cool stuff. Yeah. Thank you.
1:08:06I appreciate it. That shit's wild, man. I know. I know. I know. I know. But those are my, those are my big three. We'll say that. I can't remember the fourth right now, but those are the three that I think about every day. I think one of the common themes that I've been noticing in everyone, which I didn't know is how I was feeling, but I come to find out seeing other people post about their goals and their intentions for 2026 is there's an emphasis on trying to be a bit kinder to themselves and also having a bit more calm in their life. And so, you know, even Chris Williamson, Stephen Bartlett, like Stephen's just got engaged.
1:08:47He's actively spoken about how he's trying to have children. You know, Chris is number one thing. He's trying to give himself permission to be calm and not be sprinting all the time. And I feel that. I feel this nature in me that I really want to create an abundant life, make more money than I've ever made before, but at the same time have a lot more peace, joy, and fulfillment in my life. And it's hard for people to wrap their head around because they go typically like to achieve the abundance, you need to sprint and work until your eyeballs bleed. But I'm trying to craft a life where that doesn't have to be the case.
1:09:30I feel like I've been sprinting for seven years now. I've been sprinting for so long that I've got myself to a point where I have a bit more freedom. I have the ability to be able to hire the right people, be able to leverage my time more, be able to value myself more to be able to achieve abundance with less of the chaos that typically is associated with obtaining abundance. I think defining abundance overall, not just in the form of some dollar signs and trying to strive for life abundance is the thing that I'm really trying to work on. So whether that means like spending deep time with the people I love and care about the most, you know, if I have loving relationship in my life and a partner, like spending time investing into that and realizing that she can be the mother to my children, you know, investing back into my health and investing back into my knowledge and spending time reading and writing and really like refining my thoughts and then obviously just enjoying the time with the people that matter most and having stronger connections with few rather than shallow connections with many.
1:10:37And so my intention for the year is, yes, I want to make a lot of money. Yes, I want to achieve a lot of things externally, but my approach to achieve those things externally is to really master and hone in the clarity and calmness that I have internally. That's my intention for 2026. And I'm excited. I'm excited to keep building relationships with people like you and cherishing the ones that matter most and then growing together. If you take nothing else from this episode, take this. Chris and I truly, deeply don't know what we're doing. but what we do know is that we want more for ourselves and we want to help people along the way and we figure it out.
1:11:15Everything you want is on the other side of something that scares the shit out of you and sometimes it's filming in the gym like it was for me today. He knows I hate this. We did it. We got through it. I'm alive and that might sound silly to some of you but that's something that bugs me. My theme for the year is where your fear is, there your task is. So I challenge you identify the thing you're most afraid of and go directly into it. Love you. Your team just added its 67th AI tool, and also your 67th security blind spot. The good news? The Vanta agent works like a GRC engineer in the background, finding every app your team uses, scoring the risk, and drafting fixes for you.
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From the publisher
Michael Smoak (Higherup Wellness) returns again for the third time on The Pocket.
A crowd favourite (including myself). We dove deep while hitting a gym session.
Follow Michael:
https://www.instagram.com/higherupwellness/
Follow Chris:
https://www.instagram.com/morechrisgriffin/
Listen to the last podcast we recorded together:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7lNht10A4EeX5Qr7FvKmpP?si=98b93cb00c5c47bd
Chapters:
00:03:10 Getting judged online
00:06:45 Why most men never change
00:14:30 Copycat culture and fake masculinity
00:18:15 One year since my dad died
00:22:50 A poem about being human
00:24:20 How grief actually works
00:30:45 Pain is how men are forged
00:32:50 Becoming proud of who you are
00:37:40 Asking Tony Robbins
00:41:45 Becoming undeniable
00:50:15 Trusting yourself without prep
00:54:30 Killing the old identity
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
