#147: William Scott: Dissolving the biggest fears men face in 84 minutes

20:04William Scott:See, this is the thing because like, yeah, someone can say to you that's rich and famous and say, no, it doesn't matter, but you still have the thought of, oh, what could that life look like yeah and that's why he says i wish that everyone can get rich and famous to realize it's not the thing that matters because you can't just click your fingers dissolve the desire

20:23Chris Griffin:you got to kind of go and get it yeah definitely but that's also i think what makes life so great

20:28William Scott:at times too like being able to have something to strive towards like because because you know achieving that stuff i think fundamentally does make your life better well that's what it

20:41Chris Griffin:creates you into the person that has got those things you know the same way failure builds you into a person that like has all these good attributes it's like a lot of people say if you want to have you know you want to find the perfect woman you're gonna have to get rejected 100 times you know those sorts of things it's to get the lambo or the big mansion or whatever it's like you're gonna have to become the type of person who can build a massive business be confident like lead a team or all these sorts of things and they're all valuable things even if all the lambos and fancy houses are taken away from you you know you you're still a valuable person a human being so even when they're all taken away from you like you still have those skills the relationships with people like you still have all that so it's definitely like either way even if it's just for vanity or just for the fact that you want to drive a cool mclaren or whatever like it's still going to turn you into a person that's better than you were before so yeah the whole

21:40William Scott:trying thing yeah worth it so then i guess it's that it's that simple realization of it's not about the destination it's also not really about the journey but about the character that you become along the way yeah the person that you were turns into the person that you are and so like during the journey in pursuit of that target that you're trying to shoot at you develop a character that you're proud of you develop a character that's more aware that you develop a character that's more patient more calm more respectable more grounded and that's the thing that matters but in order to do that you need to try it's funny i always say this people people give me people like will ask for advice right and what do i know i'm just a young australian guy with a weird accent trying to navigate through this world yeah it's weird and yeah but but like people will ask for advice and stuff and what i used to tell them was go through more shit and your life will get better that's what i used to say because i just know that all of the shit that i've gone through has made me someone that is capable and it's someone that can handle a lot of stuff.

23:00William Scott:And because he can handle a lot more pressure, he can go through the pressure a lot easier. It's as stoic as it gets, right? And they used to tell people that. But imagine you tell someone, go through more shit. They can be like, that sounds like a pretty shit laugh. Why would I do that? But if you just tell someone to try, a byproduct is they're going to go through shit. So now the advice is, what do you want to do? I want to do this, I want to do this, do it. Because if you just try, you're going to fail. I guarantee you, if you try and be the best at something, you are going to fail. It's going to be hard.

23:40William Scott:And the byproduct of that is you're probably going to go through shit. And then when you go through the shit is where you're going to grow.

23:47Chris Griffin:Yeah. A big thing that reminds me of this is like, and so many people will be in this position of when I was younger, like my dad would tell me like I'd be working my dead end job and he'd be like just just try and do something else just try and do like a business or you know just build your own thing and I'm sure loads of people get that same advice and I was like what the fuck does that mean like go and try try what like what am I actually supposed to try you know and it's so hard to give people that advice and I understand it now because I've actually done it but when he was saying it I gets so angry because I'd be like, what?

24:23Chris Griffin:Like try what? It made no sense to me. But I think for anyone out there, it is just as simple as like the first thing that comes to mind. Like if you want to get in shape, you know, it's in the gym, just go, just go there and you'll kind of figure it out. You know, you'll meet someone who might give you the wrong advice, then you learn the right advice. And then eventually you go down that path and you get there. And even if you don't want specifically want a good physique or you don't specifically want to be rich or whatever, just start one of those things anyway. Like you might figure out that you do want that thing.

24:54Chris Griffin:I never wanted to be jacked. I know that sounds stupid coming from me, but I used to tell people like drinking protein shakes, that's stupid. I'm never going to do that. So I was just lame not doing that. And my brother would say like, you're going to be one of these guys that drinks protein shakes soon when I first got into running. And I was like, no, that's lame. You know, two years later, I'm super into it. I'm doing bodybuilding shows and stuff.

25:17William Scott:You've had two protein shakes today, I think.

25:19Chris Griffin:yeah yeah i have and like three energy drinks but um yeah like i never thought that would be me but then one day my friend invites me to the gym because he's kind of skinny and he wants to go and everyone had told me to go to the gym because i was fat but i was like not listening to you don't care i want to eat what i want blah blah blah when i finally just went like it just flips a switch that one day and i was like from that day forward i've gone every single day you know within six months I dropped like 30 kilos and it's like I never knew I even wanted that but that's what snowballed it it's just going once you know and it's the same with everything else it's like I didn't know I wanted to do fitness influencing online but I thought well let me just post one video and then I'll do another well that was kind of fun like do another then it just ends up being the next thing you're pursuing and like that's tended to be how it's gone with everything in my life.

26:13Chris Griffin:And I think so many people just get stuck in that phase of, oh, well, what do I try? And it's like, the only advice is just pick one thing and just go try it without too much overthinking. Like you're almost too smart for your own good. A lot of these people is they overthink everything and then never actually do any action. I'm dumb enough to just believe something might be actually possible. And I go ahead and just do the thing. And it actually ends up working out, you know, that's why it's usually the B students or C students that ever get any success because they're actually kind of stupid to believe that it's possible you know

26:43William Scott:yeah yeah just it just makes me it just makes me think like like like bro do you really think knowing what to do is just going to come to you straight away if it was that easy everyone would do it like the fact that you don't know what to do right now is the very reason why when you try something, you're going to learn more. And when you have the courage to try something and then you get presented with a challenge and then go again and show up again, that's the very thing that actually makes what you want worthwhile. Like literally the, the, the, the fact that you don't know is the gold, like that's the, that's the trophy.

27:30William Scott:Yeah. And so then it's like, okay, now that you've told me that Chris, how is that productive? because I'm still sat here with my dick in my hand. I don't know what to do. It's like, well, first time you dick out of your hand. Or don't. Or don't. But then the second thing is, what is the thought that just comes to your mind? What is it? Is it a thing that you have thought about in the past? Is it a business venture that you started, but you have no idea what to do? Is it like the dream body? Is it the lack of discipline with your diet? and you really just want to change that? Okay, like, okay, the thought that comes to your mind straight away, what's the first thing that I can do?

28:13William Scott:Like, what's the one little step that I can do? Okay, I really don't have a single idea about nutrition. All right, maybe we research what's the number one thing that's going to allow me to maintain muscle mass so that then when I decide to go to the gym, I can keep the muscle that I'm building. protein okay how much protein should i have that much okay i'm just gonna try and just hit that protein goal every day and then i'm gonna

28:50Chris Griffin:go to the gym honestly because like what else do you have to do it's like it's like okay well

28:56William Scott:all of a sudden now my goal is to get in shape i have no idea about nutrition but what i do know from researching and comparing all of these different studies protein is quite important All right, I'm just going to try and have protein. That's one step. It's like the business that you want to create. Okay, I really want to sell hats. All right. Frankly, I'm going to tell you, bro, selling hats is probably a dumb idea because there's a million different hat companies. But I'm not mad if you try because you're probably going to learn a whole lot of things about e-commerce. So the first step is, okay, how do we get a product made?

29:29William Scott:Okay, there's options. We can do it locally. Maybe we can go on China. Where do we get? from where do we get the stuff in China? Okay. Alibaba. Awesome. All right. Alibaba. Okay. But I don't want to get ripped off. Okay. That's fine. Like if you do that, you'll figure out how you got ripped off. So then when you want to buy more, you're not going to do that mistake again. You're going to have quality control, go and check out the place to make sure that the hats are what you actually wanted when you do the bulk order, like the trying and then having the courage when the fear arises is where the magic is.

30:01Chris Griffin:Yeah.

30:01William Scott:And I think it's just taking

30:02Chris Griffin:those baby steps is something that's really key and that makes me think like what else is there to actually do because like the whole thing of like we are all just gonna die and if you don't actually just do something by the end of your life you're just gonna be dead and the only place you ever went was work and back and work and back and work and back and like i i would have definitely got stuck in that cycle and sure like everyone here would have got stuck in that cycle if it wasn't for just like that one little thing they just tried and it's like so crazy that it's such a small step but no one realizes when they're in this hamster wheel that it is just like one step out you know you just have to take the step out you're gonna get out the wheel and you're gonna figure it out you know but it is that first step I guess it's just open opening people's eyes to that idea that you only have to just try one thing you know and then you're gonna go down this that create that path of like failing and trying again um so yeah it's like just just try the one thing you know whatever it is and you you will get some some success somewhere whether it's through failing a bunch and becoming a drug addict or you know finding your way to god and becoming a preacher who knows like there's so many different variables that you could possibly do in your life and um you don't know until you try yeah and maybe this is a good segue into one

31:24William Scott:One of the other fears is that you're scared of death. Oh, yeah. Now, are you really scared of death? Because right now, your actions are not showing that you're making the most of your life. Because if you were fearing death, surely you would want to make sure you make the most of life. If you fear death, surely that means that you appreciate life. But right now, your actions aren't appreciating life. what you fear dying but you go to a job that you hate and spend all your waking hours of life doing something that you hate maybe you don't actually fear death and maybe you should try and fear death because maybe that'll make you appreciate this thing that you have what are your thoughts on fearing death i think

32:12Chris Griffin:it's that thing people say of like oh i would die for my family and then it's like okay but would you go to the gym for them would you eat clean for them would you like you know take your kids to school for your family and sort of thing and it's like like sure it's one thing to be like willing to die for stuff but it's be willing to actually live for them that's going to make your life good enough to where you actually don't want to die for them if that makes sense i don't know what I'm trying to say is like the way I think of it I don't really fear death in a sense maybe it's just because I'm young and I've not got to the point where that's uh on my trajectory but like it could happen to any of us at any point you know could walk out here and die you know crossing the street or whatever but to me it's like that idea that I've heard David Goggins talk about is when you say God is real I don't know what you believe but you get to the pearly gates and there's you know god standing there and he says right we've got william scott here he's supposed to be like jacked 200 pounds shredded you know he's done he's got a bunch of followers and he's friggin done bodybuilding shows and ultra marathons and all this stuff great family and then you look at me and i'm still that fat loser teenager kid that never got had any friends and it's like that's who you were supposed to be and that's like the wake-up call of oh my god you know i could have been this it could have been anyone in your life but you ended up just staying exactly where you were and there's another great quote of like where are what was it wish i could hit think of it i'm not good at coming up with the one that don't but it's like all the greatest business ideas are all in graveyards somewhere and it's like yeah because no one ever actually acted upon anything in their lives and then died before they could do anything and it's like that's why you should be afraid of death like that's what you should be kind of afraid of and that fear should push you to do something with your life um but yeah it's a weird one you can take it two different ways it's like fear of the actual act of dying and then fear of death and never being anything again but for me i just i believe i'm just gonna instantly come back as a baby straight on vagina again i don't know that's just kind of what i think is going to happen and none of us know so prove it to me but like that's what i think is gonna happen straight out back into a new life go again so simple as i'm probably like my 14th go don't know

34:46William Scott:yeah i actually don't really really know but there there's an interesting piece right because i think i i've interviewed some people and they talk about like the the highest frequency is is consciousness and it's the most powerful thing that you can access and then the there's all these positive ones and then there's a middle point and then below all of that which is the negative frequencies is like fear jealousy anger uh like negativity all of this right and the middle thing the the the gap that separates the negative with the positive is courage and so having the courage to have that hard conversation having the courage to act even though there is fear there where you where courage is all of the all of the negative ones dissolve we kind of live in this state where we're thinking about all of these negative things and we married it in them and it it strips us our ability to be able to have courage to act on the things that we truly want but when i when i think about it right and if we tie this into death there's something valuable in least from my perspective at this current point in time of being able to feel the weight of dying not doing what you could have done yeah and realizing that that that quote around like one day we're going to die and no one's going to remember your name and no one's going to give a fuck about you and no one is going to be thinking about you and by the way they're still not even thinking about you like all of this is so real and so when we when we realize that we go we think about our fears and we go i'm stressing over that yeah that person that left a comment on my video that guy that that said something about me or said that my hat was weird or said that i have like a weird eye or something like i'm really letting that bog me down like that's quite freeing for me like that's quite like a freeing thought of going like no one really cares no matter how extreme it is for the most part like as long as it's not pedophilia rape or

37:04Chris Griffin:sex trafficking like you're pretty good yeah i mean i i was super viral video on that of like I was like um you could rob my car at gunpoint and I would get out walk to the gym and hit chest like nothing happened because who the fuck cares about the tiniest little things in your life and that's explaining obviously robbing your car at gunpoint might seem like a big thing but in the reality of it you didn't die there's no death happening you can still carry on with your life so what's the issue it's like these people get mad if someone like they order steak and someone brings them fish and it's like hold on hold on everyone stop where's like it's like just eat this fish like who gives a fuck like genuinely who cares these are such tiny issues in your life and it's always the like bottom level unsuccessful karen humans that care about this stuff like if i take my shirt off in the gym and they're like you can't do that like it's not right it's against the rules it's like who cares like just live your life i don't know like i can never be angry at stuff like that it just makes me think like you're just stupid or you're just so like like i don't know in this like in the matrix even if there's no better word to call it of like this matrix of life where you think all these things matter when in reality there's a whole like you can just free roam we're in gta you can just do whatever you want like and you've only got this very finite amount of life and then you're gonna be gone and your phone's gonna be in a landfill and you freaking gym clothes aren't gonna be there anymore your body's gonna be rotting away so like why do you care about what I'm doing like focus on yourself I guess um and just do what you want you know because you've only got one life you know it is the funny thing about YOLO like it's like the best piece of advice ever but it's the cringiest like little statement ever like YOLO but it's like you only live once and I think remembering that like everyone needs to actually be reminded of that all the time and a good example I've said this a couple times but like my dad he got to like 50 and he's always told me like oh I want to get a Porsche I want to get a nice car he's driving around driving around in a van all the time and I was like you know you're like 55 now you've smoked all your life you've drank a lot like probably gonna die soon if you don't buy one like now you're probably never actually gonna have one like ever like your entire life you just won't have actually had one and that really made me think like oh damn like I'm talking to someone here even though it's my dad like they're nearing the end of their life And if they don't actually get like experience this thing, they're never going to have experienced it.

39:40Chris Griffin:And that instantly, I don't know if it scared him or woke him up like six months later, he has a six pack. He has a cool fancy car. He has two motorbikes and he's like, maybe it's a midlife crisis, but he's living his life and having a great time now, you know? And I think it's like people need that wake up call and they need it to happen when they're like 20. I'm so glad it's happened to me now of like understanding that rather than when I'm 55 and I've wasted a bunch of those years. So everyone just try and wake up now and understand a lot of what your parents are telling you is all terrible advice.

40:13Chris Griffin:Honestly, don't listen to your parents most of the time, especially if it's about money and stuff like that. Like, and try and really understand like the reality of the world. Listen to people that are actually doing something that you want to do. You know, if you don't want your parents' life, don't listen to their advice. It's probably terrible. My parents told me to buy a house and stuff. And it's like, or go to university and i don't know i think that's a that's a nugget of gold like he had a

40:40William Scott:midlife crisis but there's something in that right it wasn't really crisis but no but no but there's something in that right you're having a midlife crisis because you realize that half your life

40:50Chris Griffin:has been something that you not actually want half your life has been something that you're not

40:54William Scott:even inspired to do like let's get rid of the midlife crisis let's get rid of the quarter life crisis, have a crisis right now. Realize that what you're doing right now is not aligned with you. What you're doing right now is actually sapping the life out of you. And if you don't, it's going to blow up at some point. You're going to self-destruct. You're going to destroy. You're not going to be able to sleep at night. You're not going to be able to have peace. You're not even going to be able to have any fulfillment because nothing's even aligned with you. Scrap waiting for the midlife, scrap waiting to your 50 to try and change your life.

41:29like crisis it now,

41:32William Scott:destruct what you don't like now. So you can actually free up space to start building this thing. Cause the reality is, is you can't click your fingers and achieve the life that you want. You need to start acting. And if you wait too long, it's not from a sense of being feared and like trying to fear monger you about, about your life. But, but really if you wait too long, you're going to blink and you've missed all of the precious moments of life because you've been doing them not in a way that's aligned with you.

41:57Chris Griffin:I think you need to be reinventing yourself every day and like analyzing what's wrong and doubling down on what's right every single day when you wake up. Like everyone knows when they're doing bad stuff. You know, subconsciously what you're doing is not progressing you towards where you want to be in your life, but you just carry on doing it. And it's, they just need that urgency. The urgency is like what comes when you have like a terrible accident or you're in the hospital or something bad happens. that's when you get that urgency you need to like be like oh no this is urgent now like you need to understand how finite amount of time you have and that usually comes from either seeing people die or like like it really gives you that perspective of oh this is this could easily happen to me but you're better off having that perspective like now like just listen to these words and be like okay i'm gonna do that right now and maybe it's hard to do just from hearing advice but is you need to kind of like freaking brainwash yourself into that mentality otherwise you are gonna just miss everything and until something bad happens and it tends to be people only change their life when something bad happens like I think I heard Chris Williamson talk about that middle part where everyone's everyone's kind of average in their life where their boss you know is kind of an asshole but doesn't like care too much and gets along with it you know their wife shouts at much she's not bad enough to break up with they make enough money they're not homeless blah blah it would almost be better if they got fired their girlfriend cheated on them and they got fat and they got took out the house because then that would force them to change and like you don't want to get to that point you just want to force yourself to change before that happens you know for me i had to be at a point where i was 20 grand in debt delivering pizzas to my old high school friends when I was 23 and getting embarrassed because like girls I'd been with when I was seeing me as this pizza delivery guy to get to, and my girlfriend just broken up with me, but to get to a point of where I was like, fuck what they think.

44:00Chris Griffin:I'm just going to destroy my ego, start posting these videos, hit the gym, smash everything, like kill everyone. And then genuinely by eight months later, I had a hundred K followers. I was out of the debt, making 10k a month and it's like I had to get to that point to force myself to get out of it and that's just my small story but don't let yourself get to that point like you don't you genuinely don't have to be there you can just do it now so yeah don't do that just like it it's a lot of good people have been built out of those stories but you don't have to be you know yeah

44:38William Scott:Oftentimes it takes you to get to that to really have a catalyst of change. Chris talks about the thing you're referencing is the region beta paradox, which is what he talks about being just good enough in that middle zone. It's a really slippery slope. but but even even thinking about like uh being in the middle but then also being in a high or or at least a perceived high that's not actually aligned with you you've you've pursued a life in hopes of pleasing people around you like your parents or something and then you've developed a so-called perceived high life, a life that I should be happy about.

45:25William Scott:And that even itself is a slippery slope as well. That is just good enough because it's good enough for the people around you, but for you, you still feel empty. And those are the hard ones as well, because you've done what you thought you were supposed to do and it still didn't pay off. You still don't feel good about your life. And then that's where I think you can get really caught in this state. And even Andy Elliott was just saying before, and it's the same with faith and with believing in God, is oftentimes people need to go to the darkest of darks to be able to find. Like I think it says in the Bible that Jesus comes for the broken.

46:05William Scott:Yeah. Yeah. And, and for me, I'm like in a bit of a high, so it's quite a, it's quite a hard one, but trying to be proactive as opposed to reactive, which comes from being aware of going, okay, like I am self-aware, how is my life right now? And is it truly aligned with what I want? And if it's not, what are some things that I can do and have the courage to do to be able to get me closer to where I want to be.

46:31Chris Griffin:A great one that I've just learned is just getting around people that make you feel like pathetic, you know, lose it again, because in my life at home, I'm like, you know, pretty high level citizen, probably in my little town. Like, you know, I probably make top 1 % money. You know, I have status. I look pretty good, like live in a nice place, that sort of thing. People will look up to me. You get around here. Everyone's a millionaire. there. I'm like the worst. Like Andy's telling me I'm fat. Everyone else tells me I'm shredded. Like, and you're like, Oh, I'm actually like, I'm at level two. They're at level 50.

47:08Chris Griffin:You know, I thought I was great at level two, but they're so far ahead. And it's like, you get around that again. And it puts you right back into that place of like, Oh my God, I've so much work to do. I need to become better and better and better. And that's what kind of why I've spent like a month out here. I think the biggest thing I've learned is that environment thing. And I used to hear people say that like your environment your five people you spend most time with blah blah blah but never really understood it because I'd never really got around anyone else when I got here and got around these people it's like you have to make more money you have to get in better shape you have to get more tan like everything's gonna happen just because you're around these people and that you feed off of them and I think for anyone that's even at that level one stage it's like we'll just find the next best person that's like above you you don't want all of your friends to be like below you and that's not like an egotistical thing but that's how i felt a lot of the time is like my friends are always kind of like not worse than me but less successful or less developed in their life and it's only until i got around these guys here andy and stuff is where i'm like oh there's way more levels above me like now i understand like the ladder to climb um so yeah were we on

48:24William Scott:death i think i think the the the piece here which i think we can double down uh is i think it's great to have mountains to climb i do see a little bit of a slippery slope at times where we always need some big mountain to climb that is tied to something external. So I need a bigger house or a bigger car or a fancier car, a faster car, probably is the right word, a faster car. I need a hotter girlfriend. She needs to look really good on my arm. I need to be jacked. I need to be more tan. And all this stuff is very external stuff. And don't get me wrong. A lot of those things will probably make your life a whole lot better.

49:15William Scott:But I think we need to strip it back to this thing around self-worth and not make all of your worth tied to all those external things. Because you're going to have these expectations that the grass is greener and then you're going to stand on the grass and realize it's not. And then you're going to be like, okay, well, like I need to find something even more green. And then you're going to get to a point where you realize there's actually no more green that I can even find from an external thing. And you're still going to be empty. And so I think when people say like Jimmy Carr, when they say like, I hope people get rich and famous, it doesn't matter.

49:50William Scott:It's not about not striving for it, but I think it's about removing your worth to the thing. They're all great stuff. It's always good to be around people that are motivating you to do better, but motivating you when you're in a state where you're ticking a lot of the boxes in your life and truly deep down you can feel full within yourself surrounding by people that are doing really well i don't think there's value in going okay i'm inadequate i need to strive for more because i think that just comes into like a not feeling full within yourself if you're fat if you're overweight if you are broken and going week to week, like you actually are inadequate.

50:32William Scott:Like you probably should try and change something here. But when you're climbing the mountains and you get so high in the mountain that you still have such a great view, you still have achieved so much. I do think there's great strength in being able to realize when enough is enough because I'm not sure if it ever ends if you don't. And I don't know if that's a slippery slope.

50:55Chris Griffin:Yeah. I don't think, I just think there's two types of people. like is it better to be disciplined and get you know is it better to be disciplined and strive for everything you've ever wanted in your life and you know work super hard and grind till 2am or just be happy with enough and like I think about this a lot because my brother is kind of the opposite of me and I think for me I'm never going to have enough just because that seems to be the nature of pattern recognition of what's gone on in my life so far I'm probably never going to reach a point where it's enough you know there's always the next thing even if you've got everything there's always like things you can't even think of like Elon Musk wants to go to freaking Mars you know that's the next thing for him I imagine whereas then there's some people like he will go to his nine to five get up from work go play golf and he's just sweet happy as larry you know and i'm like i can't imagine that just being my life and even maybe he's not the richest or not get the best car or like all these sorts of things like he's still more happy than me like i'm he's content i'm not content like even though i have more i'm not content with what i have and i just honestly don't think i'm ever going to have that i think there's always going to be more and there's just some people that it's going to be like that and some people that isn't and i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing i don't know if me striving for wanting to be successful is a bad thing or i maybe should learn to be content with what i have i don't know yeah i mean i i'm most certainly very far from an expert at

52:44William Scott:any of this stuff i really don't know but my two cents which is all it's worth is i think it's a very slippery slope i don't know if you saw the tony robbins alex mosey podcast yeah yeah listen to that one way here not here but mexico yeah well profound stuff tony basically made alex mosey look like a little person everyone idolizes this guy and then you have tony robbins on and he literally like could fully control her mosey state yeah make him smile make him laugh whenever all this stuff and one of the things that tony debunked alex on was where alex lived in this lens of fuck happiness. And he would talk about fuck happiness.

53:25And then Tony goes, of course you're not happy.

53:28William Scott:You're literally saying to yourself, your words are powerful. You're saying to yourself, fuck happiness. And saying you're never content, I think is a slippery slope. And that's, I don't know anything. I'm literally just sharing my lens of limited information that I know. but saying that i'm never going to be content is is interesting because it's it's it's in my opinion coming from a state of inadequacy where it's like i'm actually not enough right and um and i think there's real power because people think about this and when when when when we speak about high achievers like us that are really constantly trying to grind and and this has only been more of a new insight for me this sort of language that i'm speaking about probably over the last like six to eight months.

54:21William Scott:Right. Because before I was like, yeah, work into your eyeballs bleed. Let's go. Let's go. Like sleeps for the week. How do I optimize it so I can have four hours instead of eight? Like all this stuff. Right. And, um, and it was optimized for growth and all this. And while that's great. And I think there's a time and place for that. There's, there's something in being able to be okay with who you are and do it from the love of the game. Do it for the love of life. Squeezing the most out of life, not in the sense of trying to conquer and achieve, but in the sense of filling your cup of fulfillment, filling your cup of peace, filling your cup of joy, and being able to optimize for that, as opposed to just coming from a place of fear of not being enough or inadequacy.

55:10William Scott:Because I just look at it and I just go, I think our words are really powerful. And if we do feel like we're never going to be content, I wonder if that's what's going to happen. You're never going to be content. And if you would imagine your life, okay, I'm a high achiever. I know I'm going to achieve everything that I want. It's not even an option in my mind. There's not even an option in my mind of not achieving everything that I want. I don't know if you relate to that. Like, do you feel like you're going to achieve everything that you want?

55:43Chris Griffin:Yeah.

55:43William Scott:Right? I don't have a doubt.

55:45Chris Griffin:Yeah.

55:46William Scott:I know I'm going to, right? No doubt about it. And most high achievers probably feel that same way. There's a level of confidence that they're going to achieve their dream life without a doubt. So if you know that, you know you're good. You know you're good.

56:01Chris Griffin:I trust the process.

56:02William Scott:No, but like you literally know you're good, right? And so knowing that, then I go, okay, like I am going to do it. which means that the alternative to working to your eyeballs bleed and fucking being content and just being like, I'm never going to be content. The alternative is not just going to the Bahamas and sitting on a beach and drinking coconuts all day, which is what people seem to think. Okay. If I don't do that, what else am I going to do? It's like, well, no, you're not, the alternative is not just drinking coconuts and doing nothing all day. You're still going to work, but your worth is not tied to the work.

56:38William Scott:You see life, at least for me and how I've been seeing it, which has been quite freeing, you see life as this beautiful thing that has so many elements. You can soak up the most of it. You could actually be where your feet are. You can be present. You can enjoy all of the moments of life and not feel like you need to be elsewhere. And then when you can do that, you still show up, you still work, you still make money. And by the way, you'll probably make far more money as well. And you'll probably be far more happy. And then you get to state where you go, I'm conquering and I'm achieving, but my worth isn't tied to that.

57:10William Scott:I can show up with my relationships in the best way. I can be the best partner. I can hopefully have a family and raise my kids in the best way. And it starts to be more well-rounded and fruitful. And I think that's why I've been really honing on this message for high achievers specifically, because if you're not a high achiever, I think you need a bit of David Goggins in your ear, like get your shit together and sort it out. But a high achiever struggles to switch off. And I think it's like realizing that we are confident in being able to achieve all these things. We're going to do it. I have no doubt.

57:41William Scott:So like, let's try and at least like make this process one that is a little bit more enjoyable and not just one running away from our fears.

57:48Chris Griffin:Yeah. I think a lot of those things resonate with me. And I think it reminds me now that like, I'm kind of just probably not as far along in still working out what I actually think and feel because it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, And I said that before because that's what I've said for the longest time. But when I actually think about it, you know, I listened to that Tony Robbins thing. I was like, no, I actually, that's great advice, you know? So maybe that's just not registered in my mind yet. And at the same time, I'm like, right now, you know, I'm kind of just personally like restructuring some things in my business and stuff.

58:24Chris Griffin:I'm not like specifically making money, which would have scared me a long time ago because the goal was always like, make more each month, each month, make more, make more. but now I'm like kind of content with no that's okay because I know I'm working on something that's going to be more fulfilling to me so I guess the actions I'm actually doing don't align with what I just said but I still kind of think those things because I see so many people like rich guys that they would say like people have everything will never have the one thing which is enough you know and it's like I still think that's true for a lot of those guys but maybe it's just that they need to figure out what's actually going to fulfill them rather than just that's just the law is they're never going to have enough you know because it's probably not true they probably can have enough of you know being fulfilled but then i was going to ask you like where do you like get fulfillment from you know a lot of people it's god like andy was just talking about a lot of like religion and god and feeling like peace and fulfilled in your life but for me it's i don't know what that state is where i'm like fulfilled you know

59:29William Scott:yeah well i mean i'm i'm i'm no experts but i can reference other people that i've seen at tony robbins on that pod for example you look at all the billionaires they turn into philanthropists yeah they start giving for the most part and it's because they've exhausted all of the other things that would once give them the most amount of joy the most amount of fulfillment like buying a nicer car used to fulfill someone then they bought 10 of them and then it didn't fulfill them anymore. Making lots of money and adding another zero to your bank account used to fulfill someone and then they did it enough times that it didn't fulfill them anymore.

1:00:06William Scott:Getting jacked and building bigger biceps used to fulfill someone and then they did it enough and got so big that it stopped fulfilling them anymore. All of these things are great in moderation, but when you look at the people that get beyond that and get to the peak of it, the end thing is service. philanthropy, giving. So then I look at that and I go, okay, like what makes me feel the most amount of fulfillment in my life? Is it when I make 50 grand in a day or is it when someone stops me on the street and says that you've saved my life? Well, let me tell you, the one that when they say that you've saved my life, which has happened, that makes me like freeze up in my skin and it makes me go like fully freak out way more than the money does especially after you do the money multiple times in a row it gets numb the more you do it but every single time someone stops me on the street and says that i've changed their life i've saved their life the feeling never gets old so then i go huh fulfillment is service of something greater something beyond me i feel like the moment that i've become the most fulfilled is when i removed me from the center of the world yeah which is even another reason why i'm deep diving into faith and learning more about it because that's that on steroids it's taking you away from the center of the world like it doesn't evolve around you yeah at least it can for so long but and and a lot of the time that probably is what makes us hungry and we are selfish beings and and it does make us achieve all these things it's not about disregarding that but i think there's something in speaking to super wealthy people super old people yeah and speaking to these people that have walked through life and then see where they end up.

1:02:12William Scott:And I think where they end up, there's gold in that. And then what I've found is if you are a high achieving person and then you focus on where they, on what they spend their energy on, a by-product is, is you get jacked, you make a bunch of money and you live a really fulfilling life and you learn a lot about yourself and you grow. and so it's something that I've been pondering on because I think for so long I just focused on getting jacked and making a bunch of money and honestly for young men all men I think everyone should get jacked and make a bunch of money because the person you become along the way is one that I think it's the it's the greatest advice I can give young young men I also just think men if you're not jacked and make money like you're not going to be attractive to your dream partner as well, because you're not going to build the characteristics.

1:03:05William Scott:And probably the key thing I say there as well is you earn it as well. You haven't been handed it down because the thing is not the money. The goal is not the money. The goal is the person you become along the way, as we said, the character that you build. And so this is why a woman is less attracted to the trust fund baby than she is to the person that's gone from A to B. And that's just straight out what it's right. A lot of women are not really attracted to the trust fund baby. At least the right women that you want are probably not attracted to that. Because the people that are attracted to that is just the one that wants the life that they have.

1:03:42William Scott:But really like the man that your dream woman wants is one that has gone through shit, is one that is calm, that one that makes her feel safe. And you can't click your fingers and earn that. And so while I'm not saying all of this stuff around like, oh, just give and be a philanthropist. I'm not saying that to actually do that. But what I am saying is, like, there's going to be a point in time where all of the external things that we chase become extremely fleeting and we're going to need to search for something greater. So if we just have that in our mind, it's not about not striving for all of those things, but it's about not having our worth tied to all of those things.

1:04:20William Scott:Because if we do that, we're never going to feel like enough. And so that's been the thing that I've been working on, which I don't know if it's right. it's just the place that i'm in but it's been helpful it's complicated you know it is complicated because like yeah um i think that's great advice that where every man should just start if you're

1:04:39Chris Griffin:not jacked get jacked you know because no girl wants her dad bod maybe she says she does but she doesn't you know and it gets you in the door you know at the end of the day if you're not a nice guy though like a personality or you don't have any good traits valuable as a man then even just looking good and having money isn't gonna get you your dream girl it's like you need all the things that come along with that and i think one of the best things that ever happened to me was well one of the best things that happened to me and i think the best thing that can happen to young guys is just get their heart broken like totally because that builds you into such a person that like on one hand doesn't doesn't put their all their worth into someone else and and build builds you into a person that never wants that to happen to them again, you know?

1:05:29Chris Griffin:And that happened to me. I never thought like I would learn so much from it, but I think of it as like the biggest turning point in my life. Like one part of it is like just being so thinking someone was going to be so there for you forever. And then one day it's just like, nah, don't want you anymore. And you're like, wow, it's never thought that would happen, you know? And it like, it was before I had any social media or anything it's what made me like start well get back into shape start actually working on myself self-improving watching so many podcasts and youtube videos on how to self-improve and that sort of thing and it's like that like built me into a person that I should have been that person for the girl that broken up with me you know but now I'm that person for the girl that I'm with now whereas like it wasn't you know it's not her fault it's the fact that I was like letting myself go and just being a loser you know um yeah that that's the key there though it wasn't her fault it was you yeah and that's where the growth comes hey like

1:06:37William Scott:if you just think it's their fault then you'll never grow and you're still going to be a dick

1:06:41Chris Griffin:yeah every guy is there like oh she broke up with me because like she wants to sleep around or it's not the right time or blah blah blah no like it was you you know if it was brad pitt she wouldn't have broken up with him you know so it's like if it was me now she wouldn't have broken up with me maybe i don't know but you know so it's like it that's like a self-limiting belief and a lot of the time um yeah you're not going to grow from that point you know if you keep yourself in that mindset let me ask you this when you got broken up with did you get back into a relationship straight away were you single for a while no i was single the whole time like for how long a year yeah yeah like i i mean it instantly went made me go into that realm of like just genuinely only focusing on me myself i didn't know anything about like i said earlier like kind of stupid i didn't know what you're supposed to do i watched the first youtube video that came up that was this guy matt i think his name is and it was on no contact so i was like cool not going going to talk to her, right?

1:07:47Chris Griffin:Block everything. Just follow the steps, basically. No contact, simple as that, right? Carry on doing the routine. Don't let yourself get out of, you know, and just sit in your bed all day. Okay, right. Carry on, go to the gym, get back in shape, start doing that, right? Spend time with friends and don't let yourself be alone. Cool. Start doing that. And eventually, then I get to a point of like, oh, I've got all this free time that was once filled up with this person. Now I've got all this free time to actually do more with myself. So then I was like okay i'm gonna start posting videos like talking about this experience i've gone through that's genuinely when i just started posting videos about my gym transformation and about discipline and mindset stuff everything i'd learned from going through that and if i hadn't gone through that that wouldn't have forced me to actually improve myself and then start something with this new time and it also wouldn't have given me the lessons that i can actually talk about you know so it's like don't force yourself to go into a breakup but it's like if you're going through something like that right now it's one of the best things that's ever going to happen to you and i know it feels like really bad right now for a lot of people they're in this like mode it's like oh my god it's my world's blown up but it's like i couldn't see it but in a year's time or six months time whatever it is you're going to be such a better person and you're going to have all these lessons that you never could have learned any other way you know and that brings you back to like the failure thing it's like I guess that relationship was a failure but it taught you so much about everything in life you know so yeah I did end up going like sleeping around for a bit like after the thing but I was never going to get in a relationship just because I knew like I was like I'm just going to get her back like that was my goal and that is what I did do inevitably like i got back with the same girl and i don't know if that's good advice or bad advice but if you do it the right way it's definitely good because i've been together with her like another four years now and everything's sweet you know she didn't work anymore we live together gonna have kids all that sort of stuff so it's like i kind of i don't know what advice i would give people i guess if it's if you know it's the right girl and you know it was you that did everything wrong then go and improve yourself if she cheated on you and slept with a bunch of guys maybe don't you know maybe just leave her go get another one but

1:10:03William Scott:for me i knew it was all me so yeah i think the key thing here that i think rings home is you you had space for yourself after you know like i think when when a man goes through a heartbreak Like it's going to be the most life-changing thing for them if they let it and if they allow it to be. Because I think when you go through that, it's so low, but I think you've got to really feel it. Like you've got to sit in it, be alone, not have distractions and actually feel it. Because when you feel it and then you have agency to take ownership for where you went wrong, you become unstoppable dude because you you start to realize that it was your fault you start to realize that it doesn't matter about her if you're the man that she wanted she wouldn't have left you and it's so freeing because you get this fuel to the fire like no other you can work you can start leveling up every area of your life and then when you do that you become so much greater than you once were, that the heartbreak dissolves because you become a new man, you reinvent yourself, you transform from who you were, which is one that was going to have his heart broken because the girl would not want to be with him, to one that every girl wants.

1:11:32William Scott:And it's the most freeing thing. And it's a process that you have to go through by sitting in it yourself, not distracting yourself, not getting into a relationship straight away, actually feeling it and seeing what comes up and then having the courage to act on yourself and to transform your life from that point because if you just get distracted or you get into another relationship you're going to end up in the exact same spot because you've not resolved the shit that you have developed in your life which is why you're having these women leave you in the first place i think i see so many

1:12:04Chris Griffin:guys and girls that just like destroy their life after they kind of lose someone like that because they get into another relationship and then that fails and then that and another one and then that fails and then they just get this idea that everything's every guy out there's bad you know it's where these women get this idea that like oh men are just trash it's like no you kind of just did it all wrong you know a lot of the time some men are trash but like a lot of the time it's because you've put yourself in scenarios where you got broken up with you went to a club you found the next guy and yeah he's in a club he's kind of probably a trashy guy that's looking for one night stands and then you can dissect where it all goes wrong and then they end up like 10 relationships deep where no one really wants you because you've been so like traumatized by all these relationships and it's because they don't want to sit in that horrible feeling like a friend of mine recently like went through kind of a little breakup sort of thing and i was talking him through it telling him like look i know you want to reach out to her like send her flowers try to get back all this stuff she doesn't want you like she's broken up with you she don't want you anymore like you've got to know that sit there and be like okay kind of i'm a failure right now like figure it out like start hitting the gym more start posting videos more like whatever it is for you start doing that thing and be sad sit in that feeling of like like i like i cried twice when my girlfriend broke up with me and if you see my videos they're the clips I use when I'm like crying on camera and it's like I would record myself for like 20 minutes every day just talking through my emotions and stuff talking through how I felt like did vlogs for like two weeks of everything that I was going through and now I can look back and see the even the transformation within that short period of how I went from feeling like rubbish to even just you know not talking to a therapist, but talking to myself about how I was getting out of it and how I was feeling.

1:14:03Chris Griffin:And that just helped exponentially. And I was like - And they always come back. Yeah. Yeah.

1:14:10William Scott:They always come back. You know what's crazy as well? They always come back. And you know why? Because women want to see a man that's been broken and come back. They want to see a man that's gone from A to B. They don't want the trust from baby. So by them breaking up with you, This is a beautiful opportunity for you to make something of yourself because you clearly don't have anything already, which is why she left you. You clearly aren't the man that's desired, which is why she left you. And when she sees you go from down here to up here, of course she's going to come back. Because if she got you down there, man, I mean, maybe your life's going to be even better up here.

1:14:52William Scott:So I want that. yeah and but most of the time most of the time there's different examples you went back but like most of the time you're not going to want them anymore because you found out so much about yourself what you like what you don't like my ex came i started all this content thing because my ex broke up with me and i was heartbroken and i was an absolute mess and i was in debt and i had no money i had no girlfriend i had no job i was starting this company it was failing it sucked i started posting content i was fucking crying on camera and then i blew up and then she came back and i'm not with her but like the whole piece there is is like they always do of course they do because they want someone that has grown they want a man that has evolved and it seems

1:15:37Chris Griffin:impossible in that moment you know when you first get broken up with for me all i wanted was her to just be like oh i was just messing around i want you back like i was just all a big joke and you think there's no way she's going to be begging for me back like in that moment you're like that is this unfathomable but then you know six months later like you said it always just happens and then they come back and it's like oh i'm actually on the top upper level here because you've been forced to be at that low failure level where you've had to build yourself back up now you're kind of higher and it's like oh they want me now like how the freaking hell has that worked i don't understand it makes no sense but yeah it happens so like if anyone's going through that right now just know that like they will come back if you do the steps right kind of thing if you actually build yourself up if you just carry on as you are and sit in the sorrow and don't let it build you because you can just sit in that sadness and moan to everyone and then just like not do anything with your life then they're not they're just going to see you as the pathetic like failure that you've become but if you just like use that as the fuel like they're going to come back and if you don't want them there's going to be plenty of the girls that do on you and you know the half the population there's plenty of girls out there you know so yeah i think that's good you're scared you're not ready scared you're not ready yeah that's one that's like it's funny i guess it doesn't directly correlate but another one I I said in a different video was you're scared of success I think they can tie into each other like a lot of people like they think they're not ready because they're you know say for example with posting videos say you want to be a fitness influencer like you're not got a good enough physique yet or you don't know enough yet or you're not this you're not that no one ever feels ready like it's just not a thing you don't ever feel ready to do things you're never going to feel ready to have a kid it just happens and then you adapt along the way you never feel ready to like change your life inevitably like you never just feel ready one day but it starts with just doing the action and then that becomes you know the self-improvement journey that you go on you know um but with the like fear of like actual success thing i think a lot of people are actually scared that if they do the things it's actually going to work out and they're almost scared that like it's going to actually happen for them i don't know if that kind of makes sense but for me it does because like i almost didn't take action because i knew it was it was going to work sort of thing like i you're kind of scared that

1:18:27Chris Griffin:this i don't know does that make sense to you scared yeah i also see that the scared of success

1:18:32William Scott:piece is that you are fearful of the person you need to become to achieve the success and how confronting that can be as well. You know that you need to reinvent yourself in order to achieve the thing and that is scary in itself. You know it's possible. And that's confronting to go like things need to change right now including the things that I find a lot and seek a lot of comfort in things need to change right now and i'm a bit scared of that yeah i'm scared of the change of person that i need to become in order to achieve the success like this current you has

1:19:11Chris Griffin:to die you know andy talks about a lot kill your old self it's like yeah like the guy that i was back three years ago if i gave him everything i have now he'd just destroy it all within you know a month because that guy is not ready for the success that I've got now because he hasn't been along the journey to build it you know he hasn't had the courage to post videos or had the courage to go to the gym for the first time or go and ask the girl out or whatever he's not been through those things so if he just got given them you're going to throw it away same way why do lottery winners always want to kill themselves like because they've just been given it and they don't know what to do with it they've not been built into the person that can handle that sort of thing so it's like you have to go through the journey to get the things you want and yeah that is kind of a scary thing is like the guy you the guy you are right now you kind of like him so it's scary to have to kill that person and say that like yeah maybe i'm decent now but i want to be this new level of human so i'm gonna have to get rid of all these habits that i've got now and build new ones um and that's like the loneliest part of everything because like similar to what a lot of people talk about that lonely path of becoming the person you want to be is killing your old self is killing your old relationships killing your old friendship groups all that sort of stuff and then going on this journey until you can reach the level of where your new friends are at and that lonely journey a lot of people talk about don't they yeah and and one of the frames that i

1:20:42William Scott:tell my clients at the time and i think it's extremely powerful for people especially going to content and sharing or impacting say we spoke about philanthropy and giving and and changing people's lives people think that they're not good enough i'm not an expert why should i teach that my body's not i'm not jacked why should i be helping people in fitness and the framing that i've used which has helped dissolve so many fears and it's been super powerful this is one that i learned which allowed me to get into content was the fact that you don't need to be the best at what you're teaching you just need to be three steps ahead and if you can be three steps ahead of someone in your journey, they're going to feel more connected to you than the experts are because you're more in reach.

1:21:20William Scott:They can't quite reach you, but they're nearly there. So they believe that you're going to be way more likely to pull me out of my hole because you're closer to me than the experts are. And so when you get so far away, you're less relatable. But the fact is that there's every single one listening to this right now has someone that is three steps behind them in something in their life. If you can go back to that person, that version of you that is three steps behind where you are now and speak to that, you're going to help far more people than the greats are because they're actually going to relate and connect to you.

1:21:58William Scott:And that for me has been a massive thing that helped eliminate a lot of fears that I have of inadequacy because I realized that I actually am useful. I just need to look to the people that I'm useful for and speak to them, not trying to speak to people that I can't actually connect with because I haven't been in their shoes. A hundred percent.

1:22:16Chris Griffin:I think that's why a lot of my stuff has worked so well because I film my videos in a car park on top of my car, like next to a Tesco's in my hometown. Like people can see that they know it's possible. Even like people around me that want to do the same thing. Like I'm from a very small town. No one does any of this sort of stuff. and it's like so they've seen someone that they can super relate to maybe went to school with were friends with do something that they never thought was possible and it's like oh that instantly makes you think oh it's actually possible for me whereas if i just see like alex homozy i'm like yeah like of course he's like he's got all this success but home like it's so far away that i can't imagine myself being able to get that so too many steps away you know um whereas yeah that feeling of especially relating to people that are in a similar yeah three steps behind position it's gonna be a lot easier to get them even just as clients or as viewers and feel more relatable to them people don't buy stuff from people that they can't relate to or don't trust or don't even just like as human beings um so okay i can imagine with your podcast like you're not the biggest show in the world yet so like the guys you're teaching to do that, I'm going to be like, oh, okay, this guy's where I want to be in like a year.

1:23:33So like he's, I'm going to get there.

1:23:36Chris Griffin:Like he's going to teach me to get there. Then you might be five years ahead of them. And there's, you know, it's a constant progression from there. Um, but I've tried teaching people like even the slightly ahead than me. And I'm kind of like, this is difficult. You know, I don't know, like with content and business and stuff, sometimes you're teaching people content that have made millions of dollars. And I'm like, how am I like able to teach this stuff to them when they're way more successful than me and you kind of can because it's different skill sets but at the same time it's difficult because you have still that thing of like I'm kind of inadequate to teach this so I much prefer helping guys that are in a similar position to where I was three years ago you know the kind of fat chubby loner kid that wants to make something of his life you know that's who I want to help because that's who I still feel like inside that's who I can see myself being and I've gotten out of it and it's still so close.

1:24:30Chris Griffin:It's not like it was 50 years ago.

1:24:32William Scott:Well, Scott, thank you for coming on the show, man. This has been great. Appreciate you, dude.

1:24:36Chris Griffin:Great time.

1:24:37William Scott:Nice to meet you.