#154: Grayson Hart: The Truth About Women, Love & Becoming a Man

42:39say you know if one of my best friends because I'm never gonna go out my way to try to like preach to anybody like what you need to do and who you need to be because it's not my position it's not my role like um I express what's true to me but if a friend came to me and they're like Grayson like I'm really really struggling man like can you just give me some guidance to help me right now. Honestly, I would say, bro, get up early, watch the sunrise, look it in the eye, put your feet on the ground, breathe deeply through the nose, down to the bottom of the spine and all the way back up. And just feel and observe and allow that to guide you.

43:27You'll find that you start moving, stretching, you'll find that you start to just do things that fill you with joy and connection and love, because that's who we are and what we are, that's nature, that's our design, and by doing those simple things, we're coming back into alignment with nature, our true self, our true self is the perfect design, you know, But the mind will tell you what perfection is and you'll never reach it. Perfection is just being and being like, whatever this is and whatever's going on, I'm here for it. I'm me. I'm here to show up and see life as it really is and roll with it.

44:17Thank you. And you can never go wrong. Yeah. uh the thing that comes to my mind my coach was long i have this coach and i do like mirror work with him where i shut my eyes and he he just like gets me to speak it for like 90 minutes straight it's it's in it's intense and sometimes i'm sitting there and i'm i'm like imagining i'm in this massive room but i'm just in a tiny room sitting on my bed it's crazy what happens just through closing your eyes and he does he makes he makes me do all these like weird sounds and stuff before we go into it with my eyes closed and it's to make me feel comfortable because you don't really normally do weird sounds around people and stuff and it makes me get real weird to get present.

45:03But anyway. Because you're letting go of the rigidity. Because look at nature, both them sounds like donkeys and wild animals, mate. They're pretty out there and the kind of sounds we're capable of, we can do all sorts of fascinating and interesting sounds and movements but it's our concept of who we are and what we need to be that keeps us trapped. So I think that's a beautiful thing. Yeah, and he gets me doing all, he's like, just anything that comes out, he's like, yeah, yeah, and he gets me making all these weird sounds. But it's crazy the presence you get. And so I'm finding this connection between nature and presence.

45:41And when we are feeling overwhelmed, what do we do? We get some fresh air. We go touch some grass. We go down to the beach. Why is it that every single out that's not substance abuse, bad vices, any out that's not negative is nature? Yeah. It's go for a swim, step outside, get some fresh air, have a glass of water, do some breathing. Yeah. It's all nature. Yeah, man. And nature seems to be this beautiful key that unlocks presence if we allow ourselves to immerse ourselves in the nature. And we got to the end of one of these 90-minute sessions and we got to the topic about God and Jesus. And we're talking about religion a little bit and we're talking about God and Jesus.

46:42Anyway, he says this thing to me, and it was kind of profound. He said, Jesus was egoless and mindless. He walked with God through his heart. And the part that's powerful for me with this is when God says to Jesus, and whether it's real or not, let's just explore the idea for this example. When God said to Jesus, walk on water, he wasn't thinking, am I going to drown? What are people going to think? Is this going to work? He just walked on water. There was no mind. It was walking with God through his heart. And that story, when you actually think about it or any of the stories, it's a connection with God through heart, not through mind.

47:41It makes me go like all of the tools, they're great, like the Bible and church and all these things, but it is all up here. It's all heady. But the walking with God, with nature, with whatever, through your heart shortens the gap between source and feeling and truth and action. It shortens that gap because you don't have to pass it through the mind filter to actually do what you feel called to do. And maybe nature is a key that allows us to unlock that, which is why whenever we feel like we're going further away from our truth, we step into nature to get it back. I have never been drawn to or taken part in any religion.

48:35The further I get along this journey of exploration and alignment for myself, I love Jesus, man. Jesus is the OG of pure expression of a being in this form, in this realm. like you know and that's that's just me interpreting the things that i hear and the the words that he's been quoted as saying and the symbology and the stories from a place of like okay imagine if that was me and you and we were back in the soul times and And we were this being that was the most pure expression in man's form of a being in this reality. An alignment to love, truth and nature, which is the most pure expression of a being in this form.

49:32The kind of possibilities. Miracles happen every day. I had amazing miracles that I can talk about today that seem small. I wanted to work on these hats that I'm working on and I'd done a certain process which was through the washing and distressing of the hats and then I wanted to get paint and sandpaper and I was at the local cafe and I googled, oh where can I go buy art supplies in Topanga and it was just by chance that randomly the art supplies store was closed on that day. It was yesterday and it was closed on a Wednesday. And then I was leaving. I was like, okay, cool. No worries. I'll go tomorrow.

50:22And I was leaving and I saw this guy who the day before I walked past him in the cafe and he was painting this beautiful painting. And I had walked past him and just a pure interaction that happened. I said, damn, that's a really beautiful painting. And he looked at me, he was like, ah, thank you. And I went and walked off, that was it. I'm leaving the cafe. As I'm leaving, this guy walks in, and I'm like, oh, hey, how are you going, man? He's like, yeah, good, good. How are you? He's like, great. And I was like, oh, do you know anywhere else around here that I could go find paint, like art supplies?

50:58The one that I Googled is clothes. And he goes, oh, what are you after? I go, oh, just some red, yellow, and white paint. He goes, oh, I've got heaps of paint in the car. Here, come, I'll grab it for you. Gives me the paint. The knowing that paint was coming for me, the intention that I was going to utilize paint, the openness to life, life just brought me paint. And because I Googled something, I looked for it and it wasn't open, I was like, you know, pissed off. Paint's coming to me. I'm going to paint these hats. And the openness to life, life brought me a miracle. And you might be like, oh, that's a stupid story.

51:35But it's like what we conceive in our mind, it comes back to the Einstein quote. Like it is a profound tool and it is meant to be utilized in alignment with the gift. And I feel Jesus was just doing like that painting, but at whole other levels. Like even you with your podcast, the way that you share the journey of yourself and what you've been able to create and cultivate, the lives that you've impacted, the life you've created and continue to create for yourself, the way you share that with other people, it's a real life miracle. You one day conceived something in your mind, embodied it, lived it in the knowing that it was true and here you are now.

52:25you know and to me jesus was living and breathing that the real life miracles of life and he was expressing it in the ways that were true to him in those times through his expression and you know like you look at people who there are people that have the ability to truly heal other human beings. Even some of the conversations that you're holding and the people that you host and the insights that you have and what you share, that's a form of healing to the people that are hearing it from an open heart. So you are healing people. So Jesus was healing people with love. and love is the expression of nature, of the divine, of God.

53:17Because if you look at life through a preconditioned, recycled concept, learnt intellectual lens, you're not going to see awe and wonder in everything. Like when I get caught up in times in my life where I just look at life through this conditioned lens of what I need to do and where I need to get to in order to be safe and okay. Which is really what that conditioning is saying to us. It's like, you're not okay. You need to constantly be doing things and figuring things out in a pursuit to be okay. Whereas Jesus was just saying, nah, I am the way, the truth and the light. He wasn't saying, I, Jesus, am the way, the truth and the light.

54:07He's saying, I, which is within us all, presence, being, am the way, the truth, and the light. He was saying, we are all I. I am the way, the truth, and the light. It wasn't like, get to this, and then you're going to be the way, the truth, and the light. It's like, no, I am the way, the truth, and the light. And he was saying, we're all the children of God. And, you know, we live in a world now that it's even challenging to speak of the word God because of the indoctrination of how religion is used that to manipulate the perspectives of man's mind to put them into ways of operating that suit these hierarchical systems.

54:52Whereas let go of any prejudgment, preconceived idea and let your own heart speak to you and you'll see the word and the symbology of Jesus all around us. Every single one of our own lives is our own journey of Jesus. And the most profound prophets and people of love and wisdom and impact in this life, they were just expressions of Jesus. Just beings aligned with love and truth and nature, expressing themselves from wholeness and completeness. And when you express yourself from wholeness and completeness, you're sharing love. and love is healing. Yeah. And it's interesting you're talking about how like Jesus is the OG and it's been fascinating diving deep into it and just unpacking.

55:52One of the things that I have been drawing on, because I asked myself the question, right? Like every belief that we have has some, like there's, there's everything is a belief, right? Like all of the, it not believing in God is still a belief, right? It's like there's all these different things that are beliefs. And one of the things that I've been drawing on that has more weight when believing in Jesus as the son of God is the utility behind that belief. Like you read the scripture and you read all of the different things and you understand Jesus as this perfect person. Without the relationship to him, you don't really feel like you did anything wrong if you go against what maybe Jesus would do.

56:52So like when I think about the utility of it, if you can somehow develop a relationship with Jesus, which I'm not too sure how yet, but if you can somehow develop a relationship with Jesus, it could be one of the most profound things ever because every time you do something that maybe isn't making the world a better place, you like feel it. You're like, oh, he knows. I might be doing this in private, but he knows, God knows. and uh and the one thing that i just think that's fascinating is that when i ask myself what is the utility i have in this belief and i've been exploring this concept and talking about it a fair bit just because i feel like it's been so powerful and my like quest for understanding my faith and everything is is this this whether jesus is real or not the idea of him is probably one of the most profound ideas in the world, probably one of the most life-changing ideas in the world.

57:51And so how do you tap into, and obviously there's so much, like you hear the stories and stuff and there's so much of it's like heady and intellect and man-made, but how do you tap into that to access and use that intellect to access the connection through your heart with God so that you can then show up in the way, the truth and the light, and be that being that everyone wants to be around, radiates this light and this great energy that is very positive for the world. Because when you see a true Christian that just is living it, not trying to preach it, just trying to be their best, and they're radiating this light, I just sit back and I go, if everyone was like that, the world would be a pretty magic place.

58:42And so then I start like unpacking it and I go, okay, but maybe the way to be able to fully feel it and fully connect with it is by embodying all of it, not just like pieces. I'm picking this piece of the Bible and going, oh, that's good, but this piece, now that's not good. And this piece, I don't like that one. I'm not going to obey that one and be obedient with that, but this one, like, I wonder if, if you just pick the pieces, can you truly have the connection or do you need to embody the whole thing and, and use that intellect when embodying it to be able to like really access the heart in it?

59:26And that's where I've been exploring because I don't really, I see the power in it. And, you know, when I go to like a really great church and I feel the energy of all the people there and, you know, even just going to a space every week to get closer to source and to get closer and have like extreme self-help and spiritual development. Even just the pursuit of that is kind of cool. And so where do you kind of see that when you reference Jesus and you reference the greatness of how he was and the way, the truth and the light? And how do you feel like that plays out in your life? The way I see it is honestly, I feel my perception of Jesus is like innocent and pure, like a child reading a storybook.

1:00:18Like, I'm not looking at it from a religious standpoint. So the way I experience it, if I can do my best to articulate it, is... And nature, wholeness, life, gifted us this symbology in this being called Jesus, who that symbology and that expression and that being has obviously been unbelievably impactful. Like look at the timelessness and the reach and the impact that that being and the symbology and the expression of that being has had on life. So therefore, nature has provided our species this really profound tool to explore and see what that means to us. Jesus, to me, is an energy, a symbology of the truth that's possible within us all.

1:01:29And from my perspective, it's not to be defined by a set of beliefs and scriptures and practices.

1:01:42And Jesus was not a Christian. Jesus was just a dude, being. He was being the Son of God. this divine being. He was just being there. He was not a Christian. They made Christianity up after Jesus, you know, to symbolize and talk about him. And again, it's like, that's beautiful and amazing, but humans need to have discernment because wherever there are humans, there seems to be misuse of our intellect and ego and creation of hierarchy and power and control. You can even look in a primary school. I'm pretty sure most primary school teachers go into that with the idea, like, oh, I just really want to, like, help foster and cultivate, like, good growth of young people into the world.

1:02:39But, like, many people have had experiences of, like, really shitty school teachers in primary school that were mean and made life difficult. So that's going to take place in religion. And then the way to do that is you use the word and the symbology and the energy of this powerfully divine, wonderful tool that nature has provided us for your own use. And then ideas and concepts and hierarchies and judgment is created and fear. So many people in religion live in fear. Jesus was not ever expressing nothing to do with fear. He was expressing love, presence, and just being in every element of what he was here to do.

1:03:35So to me, like I say, nature, God, consciousness, life, being, universe, whatever, use those words synonymously because sometimes when you use the word God in our society now, people automatically go into this concept of religion. but I like the word God it's just a simple way to describe the ultimate overall infinite beingness that words can't even describe it's just a simple word, God and the symbology and the story and the essence of Jesus is a pointer to us all to go inward and live in alignment with God And what a beautiful pointer to have had this. But then it comes back to, you said someone described Jesus to you as this mindless, egoless being that only operated from love.

1:04:53But that's you too. And that's me. That's who we all are. That's truth. Yeah. Yeah, because you said in the last part, you said there's two emotions, love and fear. One is true, one is illusion. Jesus didn't. Jesus was the way, the truth, and the light. So, of course, Jesus had no fear because fear isn't truth. It's illusion. that's the way he could do things beyond what the mind conceives. He transcended the limitations of the human mind. He was doing things at the time that the way that life was perceived through the lens of limitation of the peers around him, he transcended that and they were calling it miracles.

1:05:42And then religion labeled it like, oh, that was Jesus doing miracles. Jesus was just a symbology to us all. that like miracles are in front of us. Life is a miracle. Celebrate it. So one thing I think, this is a really cool segue. I want to tap back into something we spoke about earlier. You were explaining how a man should be able to make a home, make a home within himself and not search for a woman for home. And then once your home is already within yourself, you can then invite a woman into the home. You said something like that, which is cool. Yeah. really cool um one of the interesting pieces on this because for the longest time i had a similar thought where i was like well this table has four legs and i want to be all four of the legs and i want my partner to be a plate on the table because then if she leaves me which technically at any point in time she could just a table just a plate breaks on the table because if she became a leg part of the structure and she leaves me where she can not only will the leg break but the table will tilt on the side and all the plates will fall down crumbling on top so I was living in this lens of of be full within yourself and everything else is a bonus but then I thought about it and I read some of the Bible stories and things.

1:07:18And for example, at the start of the New Testament, the typical story of how a woman was created, the controversial one in Genesis, when God was creating the world and Adam was there, they first created light and dark and day and night and plants and trees, and then God gave Adam animals. as a helper. And Adam didn't use the animals. And God said, why didn't you use the animals as your helpers? And he goes, oh, they just weren't very useful helpers. So then Adam went to sleep. And during the night, God ripped Adam's rib cage out of his rib, a rib out of his rib cage and closes it up with flesh and creates Eve from the rib cage.

1:08:10It was named woman because it came from man and God made the woman to be Adam's faithful, useful helper. And then in that moment when they get married, the whole idea and concept and stuff, from my understanding of it, I'm not that educated on it, but just from my understanding, is that when a man gets married, he leaves his mother and his father and become one with his wife. And so actually they become dependent on each other. and from what I understand Christians say that that's needed or required for the marriage to work because if you build your own tables and we encourage men to be full within themselves and everything's a bonus and women to be full within themselves and everything's a bonus then as soon as things get hard why are you staying around you just go but there's something magical about having a difference between dating and marriage so it's not just oh we've been together for seven years and let's just get married there's something different there which obviously it encourages inside the scriptures so that then when you get into it it's it's known that it's different to this and yes it's all ideas and concepts and whatever.

1:09:41But when I actually start looking and assessing on how society functions and how the world goes around and how we have children and how we build families and how we have community and how everything works, I look at the story, whether it's real or not, just, let's just explore the idea of it. I look at the story of it and it resembles something quite powerful in my mind. And it is in my mind, but it resembles something that my intellect kind of goes, that makes sense. Two become one. And when we assess God's creation of man and woman and the differences and we look at that and we go, okay, well, typically a lot of the time, a lot of the things that the man wants to do, the woman doesn't even want to do.

1:10:34And all the things the woman wants to do, the man doesn't really want to do. And all the things that the man doesn't want to do, the woman wants to do. And all the things that the woman doesn't want to do, the man wants to do. So two become one, it's like perfect. So then it's almost like it was created that way by God. and I just, when I read those stories and I, and, and like, it's, you know, for the longest time, like that was so hard for me to wrap my head around. You're telling me that in the, in the middle of the night, someone like your rib cage was, your rib was ripped out of your rib cage and then they sewed you back up with flesh.

1:11:16And you're like, you listen to it and you're like, come on mate. And you listen to other stories and you go like, oh, well, Mary didn't sleep with the neighbor. She just like got pregnant through God. And you hear this stuff, right? And it's quite heady and man-made and it feels very hard to understand. But then when I kind of like remove all of those limitations that I have and I just assess it for how the utility behind it and how perfect it all seems when you, when you assess it, I just can't help but go, oh, that kind of makes for a better world. Yeah, you resonate with it. Yeah, so I guess what I'm fascinated to know is that is technically, that is religion.

1:12:08It's the Bible. It's a book of people that aren't connected with it will say it's a book of rules, and the people that are in it say it's a book of guidelines, whatever it is, or whatever it all is. right remove religion from this where does it like with all of that said where do you kind of sit when we explore you know these ideas of like being full within yourself and uh you know kind of i guess where i'm getting at here is maybe a a lack of agency in a sense and what i mean by that and i don't really know i'm trying to throw it out but i guess what i'm trying to say is i'm trying to go like at least when there's morals and there's and there's like a set of rules in a sense like you can kind of hold yourself accountable for them and be like a and like a civilization will go around in circles and work really well together I just wonder like how it works without that and I wonder what the world looks like but I just I don't know I just wanted to share my thoughts on what I've been exploring I love that because I don't I've read bits and pieces of the bible and like I see things come up and I resonate with things and like I think the beauty of this reality that we find ourselves in is like we get to interpret things and understand them in a way that align and are of service to us and I think that like when we go down the road of like really word for word trying to like understand and pinpoint things via the words I feel we trip ourselves up and we get in our head whereas for me anytime I take part in reading anything of a spiritual essence I very much immerse myself in it from a place of how I'll describe the way I enjoy listening to music or reading poetry I'm not actually intellectually trying to figure anything out I'm saying okay here's these like old timeless written word and storytelling and symbology that is in alignment with coming from originally a place of being of service to us being in alignment to our truest highest expression of ourselves not something that's here to make me think more and I can get stuck in my mind and head about how it all works.

1:15:10So if I was to, like, I really enjoyed the way you articulated that because you took me on a journey of a beautiful story about how man has written this symbology to take us on a journey to understand how nature, God, universe, consciousness has created our species to be this yin and yang team working in alignment with each other bringing together the opposites that attract and are designed to work with each other and create one union um to me that was a beautiful you took me on the journey i was like i like yeah okay what started with the symbology about a rib being pulled out by God. And like, you know, I don't, who's to say, like, I don't know how humans were created, you know, but like, all I know is my experience was I'm just here in this reality now.

1:16:13And if life has given me these beautiful tools to reflect on what's true to me and feel from within and consider what I align with from within myself. Thank you, God, for those tools. And may I utilize them in service for me being the highest, truest expression of myself, which is what Jesus was and is. And so I think that to me was a wonderful example of how we can utilize the written word within those scriptures to understand. And think about if I'm sitting here having this conversation on my own, maybe we could put a recording out and do something, but I tell you what, man, I'm far more interested in showing up and having a shared dialogue with another being.

1:17:13And so we can bounce off each other. You share interesting perspectives. You ask questions. It's like a dance. It's a back and forth. We're not always going to see things the same way, but we're choosing to be together, to weave together and create an energy and an expression and exploration that's in service of ourselves and the world around us. So the way you just described God's creation of women and the dynamic of a relationship, I'm sitting there being like, that's like the ultimate example of a team. Think of like, even individual sports, they have like coaches, trainers, there's other beings that are part of the dynamic.

1:18:09And then you think of a team sport, you're out there on the field and you have to play as one unit whilst being all these separate individuals that are coming together as one. And I'll tell you what, my experience of being an athlete in a sport, rugby, where it's a team sport, where there was all sorts of different people from different backgrounds, ages, shapes and sizes and strengths and skills, the variation of the strength and the skill of a prop compared to a winger is profoundly different on a sports field. And in America, that would be like a lineman and a wide receiver. You know, the skill set is hugely different.

1:18:53But the one can't play the game without the other on that field. You know, even the referee, he's like pretty much playing a whole different game out there than the rest of the players, but the game can't be played without the referee. so I think that like the more we show up from this place of just like openness to life and like being a child to in terms of like wonder and awe and humility and like the knowing that you know There's this infinite potential inside of us that we're here to just cultivate and express. And life is giving us these pointers. I think it's beautiful. And if you can look at a relationship with a woman from that standpoint, what a beautiful gift that life has given us, man, because it will surely test you.

1:19:53It will surely provide some of the most wonderful, beautiful experiences of union. and camaraderie and team and creation that life has to offer. And in order to fulfill that and love it and be at one with it, you have to navigate the differences in that yin and yang, that dynamic. So, yeah, I see it like, you know, I don't know why, man. Like when I was young, I was really drawn to Mahatma Gandhi. I just thought like, wow, there's something cool about that. Like, oh, skinny Indian guy that has those cool round glasses and those robes. And like, you know, he seems wise. And like, I saw like cartoons of him and stuff.

1:20:47And I was like, that guy. And like one day I read his book when I was like 18 or something. And his autobiography. and I remember there was this one part that I took away from it which was like he grew up Hindu and very strongly within his culture and one of the things that he expressed in that book that he feels really served him well is he made a concerted, applied, intentional effort of openly exploring all of the other key religions from a place of genuinely being like, oh, is this the one that is true to me? And through that openness, he came to understand within himself the nature of God with so much more clarity and certainty.

1:21:46and then what he said is it led him back to his religion of Hinduism but in an understanding that was so much more embodied and clear rather than like scripture and word that he had learned and culturally been like given. He understood it from an embodied understanding. So it's like I really resonated with that man. And from there, again, I never was, I was always interested in, And understanding the nature of my own experience, and that's what led me to the exploration of God. through poetry by dudes like Rumi and books by Khalil Gibran and Eckhart Tolle and Rupert Spira and understanding the symbology of Jesus not from the religious place that my conditioning had perceived it from but rather from the way I'd watch a Dragon Ball Z cartoon and just be like, oh, this is cool.

1:22:53I resonate with these characters and they've got something interesting that I'm drawn to. And then the word of Jesus served me when I looked at it from that point and I resonated. He's like the coolest superhero out. Yeah, I think the cool unlock as well is that the emphasis needs to be on being open-minded. And so not just taking something as gospel and going, oh, everything else is wrong. I think there's like even, someone was saying it to me on a podcast around like, it's really good when someone of any particular faith questions the faith. That fly is really. That fly is really. Likes us, I say.

1:23:37Likes this conversation. It's really like it. It's resonated.

1:23:43That questioning the faith is so important because it will either make you come closer or further, which is important because then you're not just sitting in the middle. I feel like strengthening anything or going further away from something you don't feel like is serving you is quite valuable. And the only way you can really do that is by questioning it to determine if it is serving you or not. You know, and oftentimes I've witnessed and seen, and even myself, we get so obsessed with the idea of something that we close our mind to everything else. And we close our mind and even our heart, to be honest, mainly, we close our heart from even being able to hear anything else.

1:24:28So we just go, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's ridiculous. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not going to do that. Oh, thank you, mate. I appreciate it. See ya. and you don't even open your mind to it, not realizing that if you open your mind to it, it will bring you closer to your truth, which it doesn't matter if that's closer or further away than what you currently believe. It's just closer to who you are, not what you think you are. So it's like an idea of being able to remove the mind for a second and the intellect for a second and just go, okay, I just read that thing or I just spoke with that person or I just experienced that thing.

1:25:16How do I feel after that? What's my body doing? And even when your mind's kicking off with resistance, it's like, ah, let me sit with that. Yeah. Like rather than go down that rabbit hole of like making up my mind, bam, closing the door on something or someone or whatever. It's like, let me just sit with that. Like let me just observe it. And then that tension disbands. and then sometimes your whole perception changes upon someone that you, you know, that initial narrative, like close the door on, had judgment or a concept or an idea that's been brought to you or come into your life that you were initially like, oh, no.

1:26:07It's like, I use the example of, this will be maybe like something that's a touchy subject for some people, But my view is like a child born into this world is fully equipped. It's the perfect design of nature. It does not need chemical injections put into it when it's this little baby. But let's talk about that subject around the concept of beliefs and how beliefs are held in place via fear. So say a mother, at the time, what seemed true to her was, oh yeah, I will allow my child to be injected with these chemicals. When it's this baby, it can't make up its own mind. And rather than allowing yourself the ability and opportunity to feel the feelings within yourself of hurt and pain and regret of if you were to change your mind and be like, I made the wrong choice.

1:27:31I allowed my innocent, pure child that couldn't make up its own mind to get injected with these chemicals. That can be harmful and hurtful, but even just in the reality, it just does not logically make sense to jam a needle into this newborn child. So a lot of people, rather than allowing themselves to feel those feelings and face that reality, they further go down the rabbit hole. They build up more concepts and beliefs that align with the belief and concept that allowed them to make that decision in the first place. And then the next level of that is when someone speaks about it in the way like I am now, the reaction to that is to shut that down and belittle it.

1:28:36And that reaction is coming from a place of never allowing themselves the space and opportunity to let go of a belief. Because you're not to blame that at a time in life the beliefs you had told you that, yeah, that's the right thing to do, to do that. But by not allowing yourself the inner, or just the honesty with yourself and the realness to question your beliefs, by not allowing yourself to do that, you're gonna close yourself off from letting go because beliefs are to be let go in order to align with what's true to us. So like, for example, I have no judgment towards a mother and father that made the decision to inject their child.

1:29:45I can have my observations and interpretations of it, but it's not judgment. I actually have compassion for the parent and the child, that that's the road that they went down. I'm pretty sure when I was a little kid, like a little infant, I got some type of vaccination when I was born. I don't judge or have any hatred towards my parents. They were just doing the best they could with the knowledge and the beliefs that they had at the time. but you know what's cool and I have respect for is like if a parent can be like I really fell for that I really believed that and you know I've been able to reflect and look at life and reality from within from my own perspective rather than the conditioned world around me just telling me how life works um and I've been able to see it for myself and if I had my time again I would not do that and with that clarity they're now living in alignment but when you don't allow yourself the chance to do that from fear of having to feel feelings and have feelings of like regret or remorse or sadness or whatever or guilt or whatever it may be that you might go through in order to like face those realities you're continuing to build up and they're the ones that are pointing the finger at everyone else.

1:31:14And it's like anyone that, you know, like I have a friend that just had a baby and the baby's 12 months old and they were telling me that one of their friends out the blue reached out and they're like, oh, hey, you know, like I really think you should consider vaccinating your child. And then, and you know, and I was like, and I reflected on it, I was like, wow, well, you know what, to me, firstly, like, who do they think they are that that's their place to say that. That was my initial reaction. But then I was like, hmm, why are they saying that? Like, why do they think that's their place to say that?

1:31:48And then I reflect and I was like, it's because they've vaccinated their child. And rather than facing the truth of being able to let go of a concept or a belief that they have, because they're not able to do that, they are projecting. They're literally projecting their own limitation and their inability to face their limitation onto someone else by saying, you should really consider vaccinating your child. And it's like, it's crazy, but that's the world we live in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But rather than fight against them, you have compassion. It's like, okay, well, thanks for your views, but we're going to make our decision.

1:32:30Yeah. And also what's freeing about that too is because I, and you would have experienced a little bit when you went on my show and you started receiving messages oh that guy I don't know about that guy I had like this thing where Australians had a little bit of a fit about something I said and they weren't happy it was only Australians by the way it's literally only the ones that are closest to home that have the most to say yeah yeah yeah their own yeah it was so funny looking back on it yeah even just looking back because while you're out there breaking the mold, you're willing to say things that challenge people's status quo and beliefs.

1:33:09Yeah. You know? And when you're living a life founded upon limited beliefs that you feel safe to be like stuck in, when someone's out there questioning or doing different, you're going to be like, that guy, not good guy. You know? He's saying things that trigger me. Yeah. Yeah. And look, what's so beautiful about getting quote unquote canceled is you get beautiful amounts of data. So I was receiving thousands of messages every day, every second I would come through. Kill yourself. You should die. You're a horrible person. I cannot believe you. You're a disgrace. All this crazy. But then also lots of love.

1:33:58Lots of love, lots of hate. The awesome thing about all of this is every single message had a profile attached to it. So every single message, I could click on their page and look at who they were. Yeah. And you feel the energy too through what you see, right? Yeah. And so I'm getting these messages. And for anyone that doesn't know the video, I was talking about how I don't want my partner working unless she wants to work. and I want to give her the freedom of choice and make her decision. That's the funny thing because the people who are messaging me, they're like, this guy is, what's the word they were using?

1:34:32What were they labeling you as? Misogynist or something. Yeah. And then I was like, show me what you're talking about. Why? I was like, all I know is I enjoy the really fucking cool stuff to do. And they sent me the video and I was like, I agree with your sentiment. So you can label me that too if you want. And I guess the part that, the message I was trying to bring home here is I would look on a profile, love message, married, mother, three kids, hate message, blue hair, septum piercing, and 38 with four cats and no kids. I'm like, and I just went, people want to blame the mirror for what they see in it.

1:35:18Every single person has a completely different view on one sentence that I said. The intention was pure. It was singular, one intention, a million different interpretations. So what does that say about the message? Is it the message or is it what it's mirroring back at you? Because if it was the message, everything would be the same. But it wasn't. Everything was different. There was no sentence that was exactly the same coming back at me. But there was only one sentence going back at them. So then the question there is, is it me? Or is it you? And I don't know about you, but my life went on. I doubled down, called them clowns, kept moving on, thrived.

1:36:17And they're still talking about it a year later after a book comes out. I had a great conversation. And so the reason this is so powerful is because it rains home exactly what you just said. People deny it, don't ever take ownership, and they continue to say that it was a problem because they diffuse the responsibility of being able to take ownership on what they can do and learn about themselves and grow from, they diffuse that because they don't want to deal with the challenge that comes with facing it. And so a year will go by, which it happened a year ago, a year will go by. They would probably still be able to find the link of that video and be able to send it to you and complain about it, hoping that you will make them feel seen for their inability to take ownership.

1:37:10I feel there's two types of human expressions. Seeing everything as being in service of your highest good or being a victim and pointing the finger from fear and judgment and limitation. and I do think like on any one in any day we can ebb and flow between the two and it comes back to that point you said that we discussed in that first podcast around like if you really boil it down there's only two human emotions love and fear one's coming from love one's coming from fear something that you once labelled in your mind as like something that could be the worst possible outcome is here to be of service to your highest truth, your highest expression, stepping into the being of your true self, life, nature.

1:38:15That's what we're here for. And then you can go into that view, that lens of scarcity, limitation, fear, judgment, separation.

1:38:31and everything is a problem. Everything is against you. Everything is someone else is doing this, that, and the world's doing this, and now we've got this to worry about. And I don't know about you, man, but I love life. I'm here to enjoy it. I'm here to celebrate it. I'm here to be the best version of me that I can and express love. And I'm here to be real with myself when I'm not. and to face that and to face those feelings you know i've had experiences some of the rawest experiences in recent times of that with my beautiful partner who's six months pregnant some of the reactivity and interactions that i've had with her that could fly in a previous relationship when someone's not holding a child within them like maybe a more heated response or reaction, you know, that I've gone and sat with and felt and looked at myself and been like, you know, was that the best way to truly react or respond or deal with that situation or that challenge?

1:39:44And dude, it's pretty ruthless to look yourself in the mirror and be like, nah, that wasn't the best way to react and respond because that energy that I expressed was not conducive to the environment and energy that I want my woman and child to feel. And the way I show up and express myself and interact just as my being and in that relationship has a direct impact on that energy that that child is growing with him. And that energy is transferred through the mother and my interactions with her. And I'm so thankful that, because initially you maybe have this disagreement and the way you navigate it at that time could be reactive or whatever it may be.

1:40:44and the narrative in your mind is justifying it. But then when you really just let go and give yourself the chance to be real with yourself, you're just like, that was not the best way to deal with that, man. And the blessing here is that you can see it, feel it. You don't want to roll like that. You can let go of that way of being. It no longer serves you. You don't got to win an argument or have your point be right. What's most important is the energy in which you show up and in the space that you create and the environment of peace and love and a regulated nervous system. That is in alignment to the love and truth that I want to bring my child and have my partner feel while she's holding that child and mothering the child and in the dynamic to me and our relationship.

1:41:40So, the ability to look yourself in the mirror, because life is an ongoing journey of letting go of the ways of operating that once served us, that no longer serve us. And it's a constant, never-ending journey of that. And to have the humility and the honesty with yourself and the realness to face those feelings and be like, okay, shit, yeah, I did get that wrong. I don't want her to feel that way. I don't want my child to experience that energy. There's something beautifully forgiving and compassionate and empathetic towards yourself, which is the start point, to then continue on that journey.

1:42:32And in order to get to that point, you've got to feel it. man like like I in those interactions I had to sit with myself and be like shame and guilt and like like I've let myself down and but through that you alchemize that back to love it's like oh I see it yeah like that experience has served me well because if we deny it and suppress it we're going to continue that cycle and me and you are here having this conversation because we've seen in this lifetime that's not what we're here to do we might have had however life works and reality works many many other lifetimes that have led us to this point where we weren't able to face that and feel that and have that ability to you know question ourselves sit with the feelings but I'm so grateful that in this lifetime I can.

1:43:35And that also comes with the realness with yourself that you ain't always going to get it right, man. And humble yourself and be like, yeah, fuck. Because to feel like you got it wrong with something you love is like you feel it, man, you know? Yeah, and you talk about allowing yourself to feel the feelings. And yeah, one of the things you said was feel feelings, create enough space in our being to actually feel. We have to break the mold of habits that distract.

1:44:14What do you mean by that? I feel from the world that we grow up in, like one of the earliest concepts that just gets ingrained to us, or ingrained within us before we even get the opportunity to like have the discernment to question what's being ingrained in us is the pursuit of becoming like becoming something and with that pursuit of becoming something we get all these layered ideas and beliefs and concepts of like who we are and what we are to do that aren't in alignment to just being and when we if we get to a point in our life where we allow ourselves to question our own belief systems and our subconscious patterns and ways of thinking and acting

1:45:18we realize that we always had within us everything we've ever needed. We didn't need to learn something. We didn't need to become something. We just needed to allow ourselves to be what we are in the moment. And in the moment of being, inside arises action arises connection arises miracles arise imagination arises creation arises in alignment in ease in flow but from the idea of becoming and seeking and chasing we we get in the way of that Being in which true insight arises, true action arises. And in order to return back to our design, our default setting, which has never left us. It just gets laid up and we become bogged down from experiencing the knowing of it from within.

1:46:40In order to return back to that default setting, it's about creating space. and space within the body, because the body is our lens, our vessel through which we experience this reality, and if the vessel is tense, rigid, and blocked up, then we're not flowing in alignment with our true desire. So space starts with the body and breathing. Breathing is like the ultimate, what's the word, expression of creating space. You know, like when you're up in your head and you're seeking, there's a tension, whether it's like or more subtle there's like little tensions in the hands and the neck and the in the in the mouth um you know even like in the brow like and if we become aware of the body as a symbol to how clear and aligned our lens of life is then our body is a beautiful tool to remind us to let go, to just be, to relax.

1:48:12And you look at some of the most amazing athletes, they're so relaxed. And you look at like a lion, the king of the jungle, very relaxed. They're not tense. They're resting a lot of the time. They're observing. You know, even when they're sitting on their rock and their bodies are very relaxed, they're not tense. but they have a good posture and they're upright but they're slow and they're looking around but then when it's time to go, they go and they're like these ferocious beasts and their expression of their physicality is able to be expressed with ease and power because they're not tense like the right muscles are triggering at the right time doing the right things like you look at Usain Bolt when he was sprinting he was so relaxed but he was doing one of the most amazing physical expressions of our species the way that he would sprint and the speed he would go at whilst being completely relaxed not from tension and from relaxation and presence and alignment the right muscles engage at the right time and do the right things to repel you in the right direction that's true to you.

1:49:36Yet we're so conditioned through the ideas of becoming that we are doing it from tension. And you can create success in the material world from tension, but it does not come with true success, which is peace, happiness, love, relaxation, alignment, flow. And that's what I mean by creating space. And it's like, okay, what does space look like? And it is becoming aware of your breathing, becoming aware of the tension within your body that you can release. because we can release tension in the body. And no matter how far gone we think we are or how many years of tension that we've experienced, you can release it.

1:50:37And through that release, you're releasing trapped-up energy and emotion and beliefs that just can be removed from the body. And the body is one with nature. It's made of nature. It's made of consciousness. Within consciousness, the experience of the body arises. So without consciousness, which is no scientist has ever been able to pinpoint matter, because matter is made of consciousness. And science is unable to explain consciousness because it can't be explained by the intellect because the intellect arises within consciousness. so when we go inward we're going inward to our truth which is the consciousness awareness being presence in which this concept of this reality and this dense physical being arises and then by going inward and observing this being from consciousness we're allowing the conditioning to fall away, it's like clearing the lens.

1:51:48So every time you go inward and observe from awareness, consciousness, being, you're clearing the lens. So that's why breathing, observing, stillness, meditation, nature is just a wiping away of the lens. and all that we're here to do and be and express, it's with ease. It's like Usain running 100 meters. It's like a lion in the jungle being a lion. They're not grinding to be that. They're just allowing their natural state of expression to be. and our highest potential comes from freedom, from love and from relaxation. Yeah, it's kind of like how you don't work for God's gifts. That would be compensation, not a gift.

1:52:57Yeah, they're already there. The gifts that nature is presenting to you and giving to you are already there. And there's no amount of working you can do to achieve it because they're not compensation, they're a gift. Then what probably comes with that though is a level of surrender and a level of faith. More feminine things to do, right? not masculine it's funny i was interviewing not funny ironic i was interviewing this girl in new york two days ago and uh it was quite profound the conversation we're having beautiful girl you know started her content reading tarot cards and talking about manifestation and now she's in New York with a massive tech app and busy, busy, busy, busy.

1:53:59And it ends up being like a full deep chart about all of her challenges and her problem not having a father in her life and all this stuff. And she was explaining how what she's working through with her therapist right now is an issue with hating men. and she's like i just don't know how i can not hate men and i went whoa like damn and one of the things that developed and formed from that is the fact that there's a lot of comfort in the masculine energy because you can control it but the feminine energy you can't really control it's like surrender submission uh faith and and you can't really control that like you can work and drive and hunger and all this and it was so fascinating seeing her go away from nature in pursuit of being able to obtain control.

1:55:13And she said this thing, because we started talking about how all the men are out in the world building all this stuff. One of the most profound lines, she said, at the end of this, we're probably 90 minutes into this chat at this point. She's like, perhaps all these men are striving to achieve all of these material things and external things just to potentially amount to a fraction of what a woman is born with. And it was like, wow, women are born with intrinsic value. They have the portal of life. They are God's greatest gift from nature. You said it on the last part.

1:56:02and we strive and go away from nature as men to hopefully amount to the level that a woman gets by doing nothing, which then kind of shows that the feminine energy is the most purest and most valuable energy. And the woman's born with so much more of it. than the man.

1:56:34And there's something in this and having great, there's great power from my interpretation of it right now in being able to strive and go out into the world and achieve all of these great things and be able to, you know, even in a sense, build yourself up to a point where you can be that lion in the jungle so the woman can maintain her greatest God-given value. And that two peas in a pod and like that two become one, to strive and to achieve and to conquer and to build, but not let it define you and not let that be your truth so that you can still access the best parts of life and access the real truth that's in alignment with you whilst going out into the world and achieving all of these things because they're fun.

1:57:33Just like the wolves attacked. It's an expression. It's an expression. It's not the being. Yeah. Surrender has been a word that symbolizes like the most profound shifts in my life like you know even being here and being able to have a beautiful conversation with you like I was so um like really humbled and grateful from all of the messages that I received from the first conversation we had and you know it had me reflecting like I was like I'm not an expert in nothing man like I was just grateful that you pulled up and you're a cool guy and you resonated with the things that I expressed on social media and my business that I'd created previously and my current one.

1:58:28And I was just open to have a cool conversation and I spoke from the heart. And on reflection of that conversation, but also just where I am now in my life and where I'm going, without surrender, I wouldn't be having these fascinating, beautiful conversations with because I'd still be stuck in my old rut and ways of doing things. I was a young dude that, you know, all I knew was to become, become, become. And it wasn't even from like an arrogant,

1:59:10egotistical, you know, like look at me expression. It was just like, it literally was just from this little child that just wanted to be safe. and the way that I believed to become safe was to become more, be more. I get the things that I believed in my mind that I needed to get in order to be safe and be good and be okay and be enough. and it was that pursuit going down so many dead ends and banging my head against the same wall so many times finding myself in the same position and feelings and confusion and frustration and hurt and all of that that surrender arrived at my door Like I just had to surrender.

2:00:07And I love what you said there about how surrender is, you know, such a feminine expression. And I would agree with that because it's a letting go of the action orientated like expression that we're so good at as men. and that also brings us a lot of joy and goodness in our lives, but it can become so far out of balance if we aren't able to balance it with the feminine energies that are within us. And surrender allowed me a journey to understand that there is masculine and feminine energy inside of us, The yin and yang is inside of each of us, men and women. And to go into that and allow ourselves to experience and sit with and feel that feminine energy within ourselves, it does not take away from the masculine energy.

2:01:16It brings it into alignment. the expressions are now of alignment of our masculine traits of action, of protection, of creation of cultivating community and land and business and these skills that we've been blessed with

2:01:40to align the masculine and feminine energy within ourselves brings our expressions into alignment and when they're out of alignment we can express those you know skills and actions and traits that we're very good at but they're coming from a place of fragmentation of limitation of fear to become safe to become something to be safe and surrender man like that's the word that describes the true shift to bring that masculine and feminine into alignment or begin that process because it's an ongoing journey. I'm never going to sit here and be like, I'm the finished articles, I'm definitely not. These conversations to me are beautiful opportunities which are part of that exploration.

2:02:41you know yeah I feel when we look at

2:02:49As a high-achieving man, I feel the greatest thing we can do is surrender. Because we're not going to just surrender and do nothing. Because we have that in us. That's the fear. The fear says if you relax and surrender, you're going to be a bum. Yeah. But you're just not going to. And it's because there's this wire in you that you know... you want great things. And you know, you're not only, not only you want them, but you know, you're capable of achieving them. So,

2:03:30there's so much greatness in surrender for a high achiever because it taps you into the presence and the power outside of you. It removes you from the center of the universe and makes you go, nah, I can't control this. I can't change this. And how freeing is that? Because that means it's part of the plan. The plan I never had, the plan I can't make up up here. It's something greater. And in the pursuit of surrendering, we see the plan more. And we have more trust in the plan.

2:04:15and it's never for a moment a thought of we're done. Oh, we stopped doing this thing, so life's over. I think for a high achiever, if you can remove yourself from operating out of fear, I think those aren't as present or at least if they are, they're quite fleeting, those thoughts. Because you just check back in and touch some grass and go, oh, this is good, this is right. And I think I… Falling back in line with reality as it really is, rather than this uncontrollable narrative, man, that's just never-ending. You're falling back into the moment, and in the moment, like, you open yourself up to so many possibilities, infinite possibilities.

2:05:08but from staying stuck in that conceptual narrative of that narration of reality rather than just reality itself. Because when you're in the narration of reality, the only possibilities are the ideas and beliefs that you've already learned that are like recycled concepts and beliefs from the past and the world around you. whereas life is just open it's an open book it's an open playing field there's no actual set rules to the game we are the game and when you let go and surrender you expand the tension of your mind disbands it dissipates it dissolves the tension dissolves the lens opens consciousness is this infinite field of creation and possibility When you surrender and disband the tension of the mind, ideas come, possibilities come, miracles happen because you're open to them.

2:06:17It's like the magnet gets turned around and they start coming to you instead of you repelling all the things. You're so caught up with trying to control everything that you are giving off this energy that you need everything. And then when you need everything, you give off this disgusting smell that people start turning around and walking the other way. Things don't come into your life. And you don't like yourself. Yeah. And when you don't like yourself, life don't like you. Because we are life. If you don't like yourself, you don't like life. Life don't like you. It's like when, this is such a good example.

2:07:00think of it the times in your life when you know the back in those days when you were hitting the club and you just every now and then most times when I was gone I was just having a fun time with my friends and then you know there was always girls coming and talking to you and you're having a good time every now and then you get caught up in some you know maybe it was like the example I said of like I got dropped from the the top team so I'm in this training and I'm dark and cold and And then my way out of that feeling is via seeking and action and figuring my way out rather than surrender. So then I go, I'm going to go out and I'm going to find a girl.

2:07:36The girls don't want you, bro, when you're like out there looking for them. Like, get away from me, bro. Like, you're not cool, you know. Whereas when you're just hanging out, chilling, relaxing, doing your thing, you can have wonderful interactions and conversations with people. The world's your oyster. and the world shows you what's for you. You don't have to seek it and figure it out. And that's something that I also like, I had this thought the other day about, oh, you feel like you got something. Nah, the world shows you what you need. What was it? The world shows you what you want. What was the thing you just said?

2:08:15That was so good, man.

2:08:22the world shows you what you need or something you said and it just like oh the world shows you what you want to have it's crazy how you can say something so profound and then i fully forget it but i didn't even know you saw my face though you saw my face because the the challenge with like a conversation like this is like in your heart you know but words It's hard to put into words. That's why anyone listening to this is like… The stream of consciousness. We're just flowing. And if you resonate, it's because you know it's true within you and let within you be the guide, not me or you as individuals.

2:09:00We're not the gospel. We're not gurus. We're just dudes exploring life openly and feeling grateful that we get to hang out and have a conversation and share it with people. So anyone that resonates, it's because you already know it. But the thing I was going to say there is it sparked something for me that I feel this is a nice platform to share because I feel what I experienced from the first conversation we had was like there was a beautiful mix of interactions I had from women who were like feeling really grateful that two dudes could have an open conversation and explore from our heart what we feel our dynamic and way of showing up in the world towards women as a man and the gifts that they bring and to celebrate that and cultivate and both be able to flourish within that.

2:10:01And men expressing gratitude for the openness and the humility to be able to be vulnerable enough to have a conversation about these topics that they can then resonate with and feel aligned to and go away and reflect on from within themselves. And anyway, what we were just chatting about there, I had this thought the other day. I've heard of through relationships that I've had and then getting to know my partners and them expressing to me some of the experiences that I've had with men.

2:10:50And I had this thought the other day, like if I could express something to the young men out there or men in general,

2:11:03I'm just going to go straight to it and then we can see where we go with it but it was you should never ever think it's the right position to be in to think that it's right to be convincing a woman of anything like and where that thought came to me was from a view of like if a man finds himself in a position where he's convincing a woman in one way or another, like energetically, verbally, physically, whatever it may be, to do something with him, often like in this context I'm talking about sexually or in a relationship or whatever it may be, you're not in the right place. Like there's, that's, any time that a man is needing to convince a woman to do something with him, you need to be able to look yourself in the mirror and be like, what am I doing, man?

2:12:07This is not right. And then to the woman, any time you feel a man convincing you and you feel that it's possibly something that you need to consider to do something with him to stay safe or like keep him pleased my greatest wish to you is that like if you ever find yourself in that position like know that the best thing to do is just be like no man like don't touch me i'm not interested and whatever hurt your ego has or whatever ideas you had that you wanted of this outcome that's not happening like be clear with it and then men anytime you ever find yourself feeling like you're convincing a woman to like get into bed with you or do something leave her alone go away and look at yourself you're at no point in life should a man have to try convince a woman to do something like if you're showing up from alignment, it's going to be very clear what's for you and what's not.

2:13:22And it was just something that I wanted to put out there to the world because I feel there's so many examples in my conversations with women about experiences that they've had that they've given in to a man trying to convince them and they start to feel unsafe and they don't want to hurt this guy's ego or they become exhausted by saying no, that they give in. And yeah, man, it's a pretty heartbreaking and sobering thing to consider that women do that. You know? Yeah. That they fight, not that women do that, they find themselves in a position that they feel that unsafe. That's the route they go down.

2:14:16And then to think of men in that position operating that way, I'm just like, if that's you, fucking like sit yourself down and have a word to yourself. Like, you should never have to convince a woman. Yeah, well, you're operating out of illusion, fear. Because there's no love in that. No. You know, it's like you've had a preconceived idea of what you want from that woman and then you're not going to give in until you get it. Expectation. Yeah. And then you're making them feel unsafe. Yeah. It's a no win. And then you don't feel good after that either. No. There's no way you would. No. Because you don't even feel chosen or desired or admired because it's come from doing it out of like a selfish desire, not a wanted desire.

2:15:05Yeah. But the reason I bring it up is because I feel like we live in a society that thinks like we use the concept this fucking game. You got game. It's not game to convince a woman to sleep with you via utilizing manipulative dominant expressions. That's not game, bro. So, like, game is you being your true whole loving self, showing up, connecting, a woman being attracted to you, choosing you, and being open to explore the beautiful expressions that we're here to explore if that's what aligns. But, like, any point that you feel that you have to convince, just don't do it, man. Like, you're going down the wrong road.

2:16:03and like you said, it's not in service of anybody. Yeah. You know what I find? I find that the closer I get to myself and the more full I feel myself, the less I ever even have a single thought of doing anything close to that. I say to my girlfriend, which by the way, met her walking back to my Airbnb in Austin and I was stopping at a smoothie shop to get an energy Alexa from the fridge. And I walk in and walk out and she stands up and compliments my shoes. Not trying to pick her up or anything. I was trying to go work, right? So that energy, right? But I said to her, I'm like, okay, I am never going to pressure anything.

2:16:59because if you don't want me, that's something that I'm doing wrong. Because if I was the man that you wanted, you would want me sexually as well. It's an attraction. They're drawn to you. Yeah, it's just like, okay, well, if I need to work to get that gift, that's compensation. That's not even a gift. That's not even the connection. connection it's almost like sexual connection should be it should be not worked for it should be present in the absence of friction like in the absence of tension between the two it should be present because there's so much connection there Like for me, I find myself whenever there's some sort of tension, if I come closer and not go further away, not only does the tension resolve, but the connection increases.

2:18:08And so I... When there's tension, like open up more. Yeah. Open your heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't try salt. Don't do that man action thing. No, no, no. So the thing is that I realized, and my coach was helping me with this as well, is when, like, wherever the, wherever the friction and tension is, go there. He's like, I was explaining to him and I've opened up about this before, but I've explained, like, I don't really drink. I don't do drugs, but like my bad vice is women. Like my bad vice is women.

2:18:46And he's like, when you're so close and connected and there's no friction, you won't think about other women and i went oh he's like go back to all of the times where you've thought about other women to the point of even looking at women and having this like extreme desire of wanting to rip their clothes off respectfully it was always when there was something off. It was never when I was like with her to the point where I could like lock eyes and like minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days. Like it was never those times. It was never when she was present with me and we were close. It's always when there's something off, distance, conflict, actions that were not confronting that aren't good things that I'm hiding, not being clarity, clear, clear with what I want, like building up resentment.

2:19:53Those were the only times where I even thought about going elsewhere. Yeah. And so then it's probably the same with if, if, if, if, if she doesn't feel fully connected like I do when I'm holding her in my arms and we're close, then maybe of course, she's not going to feel a sexual desire either because she doesn't feel safe and whole within you you're not surrendered yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm i'm like i i'm so grateful for life man because i thought i had like ideas of how things worked and i'm 38 now and i'm just starting to be like whoa like i'm like a child like figuring everything out like you know and it's like letting go of all these ideas of how you think that things work and the beliefs you have around it and letting go and just being open there's just like this whole other world of possibilities of what love is you know and all of the beautiful expressions that take place within that and And one of those is the actual expression of that sexual intimacy with a woman from genuine love.

2:21:20Like you can love a woman, but still have preconceived concepts and conditioning around what sex is. And you're kind of limiting yourself from genuinely that union of love. which is what sex is. And one of the, it's like you said, when you're in alignment, like you're not interested in like looking outside for like gratification. You know, we can even be in relationship, in a loyal, loving relationship, but from conditioning, the act of sex is still like, this thing of like exchange of gratification um but what i'm starting to like understand and feel grateful to explore is like it's genuine like union and expression of like love like and And it's like so much more than what we get led to believe through the mainstream concepts of sex that we grow up with.

2:22:38And also like, you know, the conditioning around that and what that does to the idea of what sex is within our own bodies is conditioned to. so we need to create space like let go like be able to let go of the concepts that we have you know like you could think you're really good at sex based upon the idea that you have of sex but the actual expression of what that is in alignment with love is very different so that that can change and unfold and your experience is like oh my god I'm opening myself up to possibilities that I didn't even know were possible.

2:23:20And part of that is like an alignment to like,

2:23:29well, the sexual connection you have with your partner is also an opportunity to be the truest and highest expression of yourself in life. and part of that, why I say that is like I'm starting to understand in the last like two years and it's like a journey of letting go of the old beliefs of what sex was and is and what it can be and what it is in actual alignment to like love and your highest expression.

2:24:03part of that is that I'm starting to see that it's not within the optimal design of men to ejaculate all the time like we that's our life force that's our sexual energy that's our creative energy and the conditioning that we've had around sex is like you always, like the idea is like you reach that climax and to begin to explore it and understand it in ways that aren't to do with our like conditioned beliefs and ideas around it that we've been sort of raised in practice throughout life from just the way that we've sort of come to know it and open up you when you start to understand that like holding that energy within your body and like allowing it to move through your body and be part of your life force your vitality I don't know the science but like there's like something like The rate, the kind of like energetic force within the body of sperm, it equates to like a huge amount of blood.

2:25:38So every time you release that from your body, it's like releasing what the life force of a huge amount of blood is from your body. And if you think of it from that perspective, if you were to have sex with your missus every morning and come in her and then Every morning if you're like, I'm going to lose all this blood, you're going to be a weaker version of yourself. But we don't get taught that. I mean, you have to go on a journey with an open mind to understand these things in a new way. And if you start to understand it, you realize we're this light vessel, we're this energetic life force that's here to express that life and love into the world through our gifts that God's given us.

2:26:27And if we're shooting that out into the world through instant gratification via the concept of sex that we've learned that's not even aligned to what it really is, we're going to be weakening ourselves. It comes back to that loving life and life loving you back. When you choose to honor yourself and understand the expressions of that and what that actually looks like and feels like, you don't just give your life force out, not even to your partner that you love. It's like to be the best version of yourself for you and your partner, you're not doing that all the time. you know you're cultivating that energy you're allowing it to be your life force your creativity your vitality and for that love to be expressed to the world through your gifts and you know the right partner will align with that and understand that and then that allows that union to be understood and expressed in a whole new way.

2:27:36And it's like, I never explored concepts like Tantra and Kundalini and stuff, but now that I'm understanding it through my own experience, these things, they've been explaining that ancient civilizations have written text and knowledge about these things that You know, if we get to a point in our lives that we start to question for ourselves and bring ourselves back into alignment, we get to experience it firsthand. And it's like, wonderful, man. I want to close this out by asking you about love. How would you define romantic love?

2:28:32I was going to say what do you mean by romantic love? Not by sex What I mean is like a life partner Like what does love look like In relationship to a life partner Mother to your children

2:28:52Lens Yeah to me a life partner is like God's given gift to mirror and be your comrade, teammate, to express your highest truth into this world, to express your full gifts to this world. That to me would be my definition of... So how does that relate to like, it's like do you feel like there's a like do you feel like love is a feeling an action like how does that kind of express and play out I think love is a knowing not a feeling or an action I think a knowing comes before all that I think love is home like the knowing of home was in and what more beautiful way to explore that than with a partner.

2:30:07So action is, if anything, action is kind of like you're actively doing this, this, this and this but if you know you're not just like Jesus You're not thinking about it. You just walk. Yeah, I feel like your true actions arise from knowing. Like if we can. True action. Yeah, this is. Yeah, true action. Because we can take all sorts of action. I've taken all sorts of action in my life that wasn't from alignment.

2:30:38But true action just arises. And even like, you know, like you and I spoke about it quite a bit about like grinding. Like, true action can be felt like or perceived as hard work, but it's like, it's honorable. It's like, yeah, boy, I'm going to get this done. And even in the moments where your mind's got that other, you know, like the angel and the demon, and it's like this one's chipping away, like, you don't need to do that. Like, I don't worry about that. But then knowing is the knowing of who you are and what you're here to do. and you'll always go in that direction when you go inward to knowing.

2:31:18And then the moments that you succumb to that, you know, like easy way out and how that feels is just a reminder to be like, nah, man, like that's the way, knowing, like aligned action. And it's honorable, man, like, and you get to celebrate it. You do something that you roll your sleeves up and get something done in alignment and it's like, fuck, yeah, that felt good. It gives you energy. It doesn't take it away. It's not tiring. It's like fulfilling, you know? Damn. That's a banger, dude. Yeah, love is not an action or a feeling, but a knowing. Because when you know, you don't even have to think or feel.

2:32:03You just act through the knowing. It's a, yeah, okay. And because I think it comes also into what you're saying about is truth. I can't remember the exact question. Subjective. Yeah, subjective. Or is it collective? And that will go into the same description. Like, truth is knowing. Like, truth never needs to be defended. It's just normal. Like, if you find yourself having to defend truth, you're strayed from truth. You just know the truth. You can talk about the truth, but you don't have to defend it. Like if you were to say to me, do you, is Jesus true? Like how can you prove it? I'd be like, I just know it.

2:33:01What does that mean though? It means that it's not for no one else, it's for me. I know it. Knowing. Is God true? Yeah. I know it. prove it. I don't have to. Why should I prove it? That's not for me to prove to you. Is that a feeling? Is it like a deep knowing or do you feel that can be easily replaced with someone just in their head just saying, oh, I know? No, because the one in the head is a belief or a thought which are subject to change. Knowing is before all that. Like God, all the scripture, all the beauty of Jesus was pointing to knowing. Knowing. Jesus was living from the knowing of God and that was expressed through his being, through his actions.

2:33:54We're arising from knowing. Knowing God. I am the Father one. He just knew. It was a knowing. He didn't have to convince anyone. That's why when he's like up on the thing, he's the son of God. He walks on water. But he's just like, yep, there's my path. They're like belittling him and stuff. He's like, where's your God now? He's like, hey, for me to show you. And he let go and he surrendered and he's on the cross. Next thing, the knowing of his being transcends his physical body. that's when they start writing books about him and shit.

2:34:39Before that, there was a divide. You know, his following was pretty small in terms of the masses. He had way more like people that were shutting him down and naysayers than followers at the time. But after, and the reason why them guys shut him down is because they're like, he's on to something. He knows. He's not spreading beliefs and concepts and more thinking and more things to attach to. He's expressing knowing, and the knowing is known within others. So that's why they try to cancel him. Because he was just living knowing, and the knowing was being cultivated as the same knowing, because the knowing of God in me is the knowing of God in you.

2:35:26the same way that I and the Father are one. It's the same I. When you say I, you're referring to the same being within as me, consciousness, God. You just know it, and I know it. Our words will never, ever do it justice. And anyone that resonates is because they know the knowing too. We all know the knowing. And it's just like the mum with the vaccine. Is it how real can you be as yourself? Can you see and sit with the knowing? Because that's where all the wonders of the universe lie. We're going to keep going down the beliefs and keep stacking them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just think that because the next question is, well, how do you access that?

2:36:11But we've answered it throughout this conversation, explaining the ability to stop and go in nature, go back to nature and go away from the noise go away from material world go away from things go away from intellect tap into heart love truth and when you sit in that space enough times you start to develop more and more and more and more knowing and i feel when you access that knowing you get this overarching feeling of trust you get this overarching feeling of confidence in the sense that you know who you are and you're okay if other people don't which then can transcend into this stoic nature because you can be calm in what other people would think is chaos because you're not really phased by the external world.

2:37:25And then when you can be calm in the chaos, you can be like the lion in the jungle, slowly walking, purring, looking around, has the strength to attack when need to, but doesn't react when something comes up on his way that shouldn't bother him. And you're not misusing your strength. It's just from aligned action. Yeah. It's from knowing. It's like nature.

2:38:02Let's go. Well, I think that's a good spot to end it. Yeah, man. That's been a wonderful conversation. I enjoyed it.

2:38:14Let's go. Well, I appreciate you, dude. Yeah, man. It's nearly 11 p.m. Damn, we had a good chat. We had a good chat. We locked it. For anyone that's made it this far, I appreciate you. And I know that we're going to receive so many amazing messages. And I just think that, yeah, there's something my audience loved about you, dude. I think, and all the new audience that came from you as well. Like I think there's something in having a real chat. And one thing that I think is, is, is important is it's a judgment free chat. What I've been observing today and last time is, is we kind of explore these ideas judgment free.

2:39:03Like we're just kind of taking them for what they are and just, and I just, I just feel that I catch myself being judgmental all the time. And I find that when we seem to connect, it's not about that. It's just like, let's just be real here. I think that's really cool. And so. Well, I had this conversation with someone just yesterday about judgment and the truth is, man, and I know it sounds cliche, but judgment is taking place within ourselves. So like, let's just really break that down into simplicity If I'm judging someone else The feeling of judgment is taking place within me And the feeling of judgment is not a good feeling And it's taking place within me So when I catch myself judging and having that feeling It's like, I don't want that feeling It's taking place, that's in my reality now So I let go and I allow myself to observe, and then that feeling of judgment dissolves.

2:40:13And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm just observing life. And then if action needs to arise, it will arise. Like, you know, like if I have judgment towards someone's behaviors that are taking place around me, but I have this feeling of judgment that's taking place within me that's not a nice feeling and I relax and let that go. So that means that I'm more open, alert, like the lion on the rock, that if this person acts in a way that is unsavory towards me or people around me or my partner or my family or whatever, friends or whatever, then my action will arise from alignment, which is from love. And this is the other thing, I think, where we get confused in life.

2:41:06Love is also fierce, man. like think of the love of a mother of her child like she would kill for her child to protect her child if she had to that's love so this comes back to the thing of like

2:41:22opening up the space relaxing the tension alert, open, relaxed alignment is expansive which allows your actions to arise and your actions that arise from alignment are in alignment with nature. If that was, you know, like, for example, if somebody's causing an issue with my pregnant missus and, like, there comes a point where I need to fucking crack this dude, I'm going to throw a way better punch, not from tension, just from, like, relaxing, like, being, like, observing, seems like, bam, you know, like, rather than being like, hey, man, what the fuck, like, you know, what are you doing? it's like relax, observe, be at one with the moment, it's like what Bruce Lee was talking about.

2:42:15You know, like everything is better when we're alertly present and relaxed and have a regulated nervous system. Like I'm not going to, because if I was like tension and on edge, I could probably react in a way that I create a problem that doesn't need to happen, you know? So it's like, allow yourself to be real with yourself. Okay, judgment's taking place within me. Observe it. When you observe from stillness, dissolve. See life as it really is. Alignment. If action needs to arise from alignment, it's much better action. It's aligned action. It's way slicker.

2:43:02I appreciate you dude you too brother thank you I'm gonna leave heart workshop in the description and the show notes below as well this hat you had so many messages about your damn hat last time so I'm gonna link Grayson's brand below we've also got the shoes check these guys out do you wanna share a little two cents on this if people have made it three hours into a chat or whatever I feel like they can enjoy this but Grayson kindly gifted me a pair of his shoes and they're you can talk about them man well pretty much if it fits in line with the conversation when I was when I found myself surrendering in life after banging my head against the wall and I realized man I gotta there must be another way and surrender arose I found myself just naturally aligning with nature and that was through my body and I was finding myself putting my feet on the ground and I found that very grounding and healing for my body and also it made me understand the energetic flow of a clear and aligned posture and how much of an impact our feet have on that posture and alignment and the energetic flow and I was I was walking in nature I was hiking these canyons in California barefooted and surrendering and feeling and reconnecting and re-engaging and I went back to London and you know it was a really profound time in my life and I'd had all these shifts and create all this space and in my body and had these insights and I went back and I and I'd always loved shoes and I was wearing all I started putting on my shoes that I love back being back in the city in London and one day I was walking home and I was wearing these cool shoes that I had and that I spent all this money on and I just was like dude like my toes are squished and my posture is out of alignment and it's just it's not worth it to me and I remember I took the shoes off and I started walking home barefooted people looking at me like like what's this homeless dude up to it's London and I just didn't care I was like the feeling of constriction and misalignment I have from this normal footwear it's just not worth it to me no more that started my journey of like I wanted to find cool shoes that shoes that I liked that had beautiful materials and great design that mimic the feeling of you know alignment from the ground up through the um natural you know ability to like have your your toes spread and your your feet and the muscles engage spent thousands and thousands couldn't find anything that i like that aligned to that kind of idea and then one day i was like that'll be a pretty cool way to share my energy and essence to the world about creating space and finding alignment within the body and life and finding a way back to nature from the ground up and through our foundation that connects with nature through something that I love, which is footwear, and that I know would serve people well.

2:46:01So yeah, I started the journey. It took me two years to bring the shoes to life. It's all Italian leather the whole way through, Vibram Soul and their Handmaid in Portugal. And yeah, they first launched in February and it's been a really beautiful opportunity to create something that, you know, has been of service to me and now is of service to other people. And, you know, to me, like creating a product and a brand is to me like a vehicle of an expression of energy like like your podcast and setting up these environments and creating these conversations and the editing and what you put out to the world it's a vehicle to express the love of your exploration and your energy out into the world and you know me coming on here and having this conversation that's an element of that and then creating these shoes and sharing that kind of insight to people and allowing them to experience that that freedom and that feeling And that's what it's about for me.

2:47:05That's cool. Yeah. I appreciate it. Guys, let us know that you made it to the end. We appreciate you all so much. Maybe drop a comment down there on Spotify or YouTube or wherever you're tuning into this. And yeah, we're going to sign out for this episode. Thank you so much, brother. I really appreciate it. If you didn't make it this far, thank you. I can't believe you're still listening. Signing up. Great patience. See you guys. Bye-bye. Brussels clean up nicely at Sweetgreen. Maple glazed, roasted, and edges perfectly caramelized. Sweetgreen's fall harvest is back on the menu, and the season's most overlooked little green vegetable is dressed to be devoured.

2:47:44You know what to do. Order on the Sweetgreen app.