#89 - 99.8% Of People’s Minds Work Backwards - Do This Instead

27:03But hang on, that's a big thought. Hang on. So before we go, let's loop back to the very beginning of our time. The first question you asked me, you said people work backwards. where they work backwards is they work from behavior not from identity and creating the identity they're trying to create from the behavior and the action and the thing is society propagates that you see these big speakers and it's going to piss some people off if i can say that but you okay but you have big speakers saying you have to work until your eyeballs bleed and all these kind of things but if you have the identity of a poor person you're going to work till your eyeballs bleed, but you're still not going to make any more money.

27:41You know, the big tall guy, I respect him. I work the same events as him. You got to take massive action. And his mentor, Jim Rohn, used to say, if you motivate an idiot, you got nothing more than a motivated idiot. So I look at, okay, what's the identity that's taking action? So I've got to work on the identity first because now I'm working from the inside out. Now I'm working not backwards, but frontwards and what I want to create. I'm starting on the inside. And so I guess this is the interesting thing. And there's going to be a bunch we talk on about different environments, different scenarios.

28:18And what I think is fascinating is it all just strips back to this identity piece, right? It's always stripping back to this. But the thing that stuck with me when we were doing our coaching, and for anyone who doesn't know, I worked with Jim intensively for 12 weeks. About 20, actually. 20 weeks, was it? okay yeah uh 20 weeks we uh we're doing calls each week and the underlying thing that i kept trying to resolve is these stories and the interpretations in life and so being able to identify all the imaginary ceilings that i was placing in my life and they were kind of boxing me in and i think that that the most profound takeaway that i've had from that whole 20 weeks of working is just the way that I show up with everything.

29:04It's being able to question things instantly. And so not just subconsciously walking around mindlessly in a sense and being aware of why I'm doing the things that I'm doing. And what's been profound about that is it's been allowed to allow me to debunk limiting beliefs that I've had or truths that I've thought to be true. That you've been indoctrinated with, but let me add here for people listening. So this will be a big takeaway. The first month we worked together, it was challenging working with you. And the reason why is because you were very set in your ways about how you wanted to do things.

29:43Do you remember that? You're like, I'm like, Chris, I've been in this business longer than you've been alive. And I'm like, Chris, here's what you want to do. And you're like, no, no, no, I can't do that. I want to do it over here. I want to build this first and I want to build that first. And I said, Chris, stop perfecting it, put it out on the road and get it moving. And then before we even started today, you're like, didn't you say your podcast course is doing like it exploded and it's doing amazing and all these kinds of things. But you were very resistant to coaching, even if you didn't recognize it when we started.

30:17And that's from your identity. For whatever reason, you had some control issues early on and that's part of your identity. But I noticed around week number four, five, or six, you started breaking loose and you started listening as opposed to what you were doing in the first four weeks. You were listening, but saying, nope, I want to do it my way. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. And it was quite profound. So week two, that triangle, we basically, part of the homework was to actually write out a dream environment that I wanted to be in at the end of the program. Right. I had, so dream environment, which for me, there was a financial figure that I wanted to be making per month.

30:58And there was a couple of things. There was an environment. And then basically we back, it was quite a profound exercise where we had, okay, the environment we had to do. Then we had to go back and go, okay, what are the actions that we need to be taking? And then from there, it was like, okay, well, what beliefs and what skills do I need to be doing? Right. What stories am I telling myself? and that are reinforcing the identity. And we did this thing in week two. By the way, we re-engineered you from the inside out, not the outside in. Yeah. That was the purpose of that. Go on. Yeah. And at the time, I was doing about$40 ,000 a month in my business.

31:39I remember that, yeah. And I remember I wanted, at the end of the program, I wanted to have double that. I wanted to have, I wanted to be making 80 grand a month. I remember that. Yeah. I remember I didn't get to the 80 grand a month by the end of the program. The very week after the program ended was when I launched the coaching. And in four days, we made$80 ,000. And who was pushing you and pushing you and pushing you early on to launch it when you're like, oh, it's got to be perfect. And it's got to be this. And it's like, I'm like, Chris, just put your shit out. Get your stuff out there. Put it out.

32:16Yeah. And then you finally did it. And you're like, I can't. you texted me and goes, oh my God, look what we did. And just like the first week. So I knew, but I also knew that you learned a lesson about you because the lesson was, is it doesn't have to be perfect to put it out. So part of your identity, I mean, look how we're set up here. Part of your identity is also quality and you want to do things very well, but you have to discern between when is doing things very well and overdoing them going to slow me down and literally affect my ability to impact as opposed to just putting it out there and impacting people quicker.

32:51Yeah. I just think where does it play? Where does the subconscious programming play out? Because I didn't review that list of all the things every single day, but I remember it kind of printed in me. I was like, okay, this is the money I want to make. These are the beliefs I need to have. These are the stories I need to tell myself. This is the way I need to show up. And I just remember it all altering because I think what it did for me was it just made me have like a bit of skepticism with my belief. So what it did was I never took things as definites. I would have a belief and I'd go, okay, why is that a belief?

33:26And I think this is the pivot. This is where things changed for me because I went, I actually don't need to believe that. Actually, that is not actually serving me. So what it did was it allowed me to have a filter between what my mind was doing and the way I was actually identifying. It's all subconscious. And by the way, I've been in this field 33 years. Took me a year to write that program. The entire coaching curriculum. Notice what happened here is you were getting results and you were using your results to prove them to yourself. But what I did here is you nailed it and I've never heard anybody say that.

34:03The only way that people change is you've got to create doubt for them. No one goes from believing something to not believing it. They go from belief, open to doubt, open to change. So I have to get people into doubt, doubting the old beliefs, which is exactly what you did. You started doubting, why do I have to believe that? Where did I learn that? Does it even make sense that I hold that anymore? And then you measure that against the outcomes you're creating. And you're like, I don't have to hold that anymore because it stops me. it pulls me backwards so that's the exact place you want to be is in doubt when you doubt you start loosening the belief that keeps you trapped yeah i think there's an interesting thing that comes down when when we talk about uh letting other people rub off on us yeah so uh being affected by our environment massively and obviously uh it happens like we we do the people around us are so important they influence us massively but there was an interesting thing where we were talking in one of the sessions around, I was explaining an old business partner I had and I would be in the office and he would come in and bring this really negative energy.

35:12I remember that, yeah. And I think this plays out in a lot of people's lives. We complain about someone's energy and they're bringing the mood down. And I remember explaining this and you just went, no, they're not. And I went, well, yeah, they were because I was having a great mood and then he came in and all of a sudden the mood went down and you're like you will you let him do that to you you gave me your power explain a little bit about this because i think this is a place where a lot of people get trapped i'm still trying to work on this the thing you ultimately mentioned was if it continues to happen then you're still choosing to be with them so you have to take ownership so you need to step away in a sense like you can't just tolerate everyone and be like okay no not everyone has everyone doesn't have negative energy that's all on me because it does rub off and it's like putting chocolates in the fridge when you're not allowed chocolates.

36:00It's like, well, you just don't do it. Right. And, um, and, and so talk to me a bit about getting in this trap of being affected by people around you and how you combat about to make it a bit more positive and take ownership. That's a big question. The good one. So let's see where this goes. Hopefully I don't mingle this because there's about four different directions to go. Okay. So I look at, we have time for all of them. Okay. So you two came in here and what's a comment you made about my house? it's calming it's calming that's what i want in my house i want to live and this is my sanctuary it is my calm space in here so i manage my environment to keep it calm why because that's how i want to be that's how i want to live and that's how i want to exist then i look at environmentally people in my life who do i have in my life and a friend of mine she's in her 80s now.

36:52She was my NLP, neuro-linguistic programming coach, trainer. She trained me for 20 years. She was also Tony Robbins' teacher back in the 80s. And we were good friends. And I said, how do you know when a relationship is good to be in and when you should leave? And she said, the way that I look at it is I look at as a person, am I better off with them or without them in my life? And if I'm better with them in my life, I want them in my life. but if they take from me and they pull me down, I want them out of my life. And when I heard that, I was probably your age. I'm like, that's pretty simplistic.

37:28But now that I'm 60 years old, I look at it and I'm like, that makes a lot of sense. So I work from, who do I want in my life? Who do I feel good around? Who empowers me? Who builds me? Who shows, you know, respect to the relationship? Who brings reciprocity to the relationship? And those are the people that I want in my life. And if they don't bring that, I'm gonna move them out of my life. but then people get into well i don't want to hurt their feelings and i they're gonna they're not gonna like me anymore if i just start cutting my time away from them i don't give a crap i mean i do but i don't because why you're not responsible for my feelings and i'm not responsible for yours but if you're toxic and some not you personally but somebody around me if they're toxic and they're always complaining and they're pulling me down i don't want to be around that energy I choose not to be around that energy because I choose me and the environment that's nurturing for me, not somebody, it's not my job to make them feel better.

38:24It's not my job to, you know, if I leave the, if I pull away from the relationship, I'm doing that for me. It has nothing to do with you. I'm doing it for me. So I've got to take care of me. And so many people carry so much toxicity. I just don't want to be around it. You can call that whatever you want to call it. I just don't want to be around it. But so many people are like, well, what would my mother say if I didn't call her every day? What would my dad say? What are my siblings going to think about me if I don't go to the family Thanksgiving or whatever? I'm at a point now, and as you get older, you hopefully get there, I just don't care.

39:01I live my life for me, and I don't mean selfishly, but I live what's in the best interest of me staying healthy and peace of mind. Does that make sense? Yeah. Do you think that's easier said than done, though because i feel like there's an emotion piece that plays such a massive role because we kind of get so invested in the person we've experienced so many things about them and there's a little bit of an emotional attachment to having them in your life so yeah you have that fear of not wanting to hurt them but then you also go oh but you're thinking about all the good times and all of that stuff no what's holding people back because i think i truly believe and it just could be limiting that saying that i truly believe this in itself but i think there's it's such a thing that's easier said than done going oh yeah just cut them out your life how how do you think people get i can see people a lot of people get stuck in that and people aren't willing to be as as ruthless where i was going when i said no two things number one you're what 24 years old 23 oh my god you're a kid okay 23 um you do know you're going to leave the planet one day right yeah Everything changes.

40:11What we tend to do as humans is we attach to things. And I recognize we can have relationships. Of course, to me, relationships are what make life valuable. We're all going to leave. Nothing stays the same. So I recognize, again, I ask myself, what am I attached to? Now, I have a friend coming to see me next week. We've been friends since 1983, since college, our freshman year. We were roommates after college. We were roommates for one year in college. We've been roommates, you know, as I said, after college. We still talk now. Now, my friend, at an identity level, we just get along extremely well.

40:52But here's the thing. Last time he came to see me here in Sedona, I already knew what had happened. And his flight was really late, all these kind of things. And he was mad at the airline and mad at this and mad at traffic and all these kind of things. And he complains a lot. He's not a bad guy, but he complains a lot. And he complains a lot about politics and the economy and what politicians are doing. For me, I find it to be very draining to be around that energy. It's just like somebody puts a straw in your head and sucks the life out of you. It's just draining. So I created distance. I love this person like a family member, like a brother, but I create a distance because remember we talked about source, you just mentioned the word source.

41:35We are all connected energetically. That is physics. That's not woo-woo, okay? So I can feel people and I can feel their energy. And if a person's like really in anger or shame and all those kind of things, they have a very heavy energy. Anybody interested in that, study David Hawkins. I've never studied the guy, but I know what he talks about. He used to actually live in Sedona and he talks about frequency and vibration. And like the highest frequency is unconditional love, the lowest frequency is shame. So people carry frequencies. And even now the CIA and the U.S. knows through neural testing and neural imaging and all that, you can see what's going on in people's brain because of the imprints that are happening and the synaptic firing in the brain.

42:19So I can feel people's energy. You can too. We all can, but we don't know that we can. Give you an example. You ever met somebody and you're like, I just don't feel comfortable around this part. I don't know what it is. They haven't said a whole lot. They seem nice, but I just don't feel comfortable talking to this person and somebody else. You talk to them and you're like, I've known this person my entire life. That ever happened? It happens to all of us. We read people energetically before we ever read them analytically, meaning we pick up on them electromagnetically because we all have a bioelectromagnetic shield around us.

42:54Metaphysicians call it an aura, but doctors call it like a bioelectromagnetic shield around us, like an egg. So we can feel people. And the denser we are, meaning the less awake we are spiritually, the less we can feel. The more we awaken spiritually, the more we can feel. So I can feel people's density when they're angry, when they're upset. And imagine we're walking through the house and we're just banging pots and pans all day long, how deafening that can be. Well, that's what it feels like when I'm around people that are just toxic. It's deafening. And they could be wonderful people at the heart level, but I choose not to be around it because it hurts me to be around it, meaning it just takes my energy and drains it.

43:36Yeah, I agree and resonate with it massively. I think maybe if I'm just thinking about why people do stay with those people, even though they don't. Well, that's psychological things like it's, they are color dependency or they're enabling each other. Yeah. There's probably an element of being scared to be alone. Correct. And isolation, lack of being in a tribe, having someone to call when you're having a hard day. Money is a big one. Correct. Money? Why money? Especially with women is if they've been married for, let's say 25 years, the kids are grown and the husband made all the money. Many women have the belief, well, he's the one who made all the money.

44:17And by the way, just so I can tailor this, do you know your demographics? Is it mainly men, women? 60 % women. Okay. 50 % of the audience is over 35. So you've, the coaching program you went through, I take people through that same program called TCP, but it's a group program. Okay. Same content. And it's shocking the amount of women that have been in long 20, 25-year relationships and they want to leave because they've outgrown their husband, they've outgrown their partner. They're in the personal development. They want to grow, but their partner is like, I don't want to do anything. I've worked hard for 25 years, 30 years, 40.

44:51I'm going to retire. I'm going to be a hermit. So what happens is one partner is like, this doesn't work for me anymore. It doesn't feel right. But in their mind, they think, well, the husband made all the money. I don't have any money. I don't know how to support myself. I haven't worked in 40 years since the kids were born, the kids are gone, et cetera. So they've grown out of the relationship, but they're afraid to leave because of financial security. They don't believe they can create the kind of money they want to create or money they need to live on because they haven't done it in 25 years.

45:24So yes, we attach to money, we attach to people, we get codependent, and we have to have the awareness recognizing, I'm attached, and is this person good for me or are they bad for me? and it doesn't mean they're a bad person it just means they're probably not the one for you yeah can we unpack this money piece a little bit uh there's a term that gets thrown around uh financial abuse i've heard some people recently it's a massive movement in like the more uh feminist movement recently about like being able to stand on your own feet outside of your your man because potentially women are suffering, as you said, 20 years in and they don't feel like they can leave.

46:08And there's a, they feel like the man's holding them to stay together for the money. Now he can't, he can't also, because if he's got control issues or he's got issues about being alone, he's going to try to keep her. Why? Because that's his control issue trying to keep her also. This is all going on simultaneously below the level of awareness. So then, okay, so the only way that someone can be financially abused is through the opposing party that has made the money is probably riddled with insecurity. He's being quite manipulative. He has fears and things that are fueling his decisions. So then he's showing up in a way to the opposing partner that's dependent on the money in a way that makes her feel threatened that she can't leave.

46:55Is this the way that it would show up? Because what I'm interested in is like, take me, for example. I'm probably going to be providing for my family. Right. A personal desire that I have is I want my wife to want to be a mother. Like I actually, I want her to, I don't want my children being mothered by another people's mother. Right, understood. Yeah. And that's a desire for mine. And so with that, like she does need to be around the kids probably a bit more. She probably can't be working as much as I'm working. Right. And, but, but for me, the way I see this and I still, and if we go back to our coaching together, when we did our values in the top 10 things, money wasn't even on there.

47:37And you're like, why is money not on there? And I just went, well, I want to make a lot of money, but I just think that there's things that are far more significant. And I still truly feel that way. And I think the way that I'm showing up and approaching this is I truly believe that after a certain amount of money, your life can't really change a whole lot more. It does not. And so I really want to encourage and empower my future partner to be able to make her decisions on the premise of passion and desire, not survival and need. Just so that I don't want her to feel like she needs to survive and has to make money.

48:09And I want her to know that her value is far more significant than just some shekels. I think it's far. And so when I can truly see her value external from money, I'd be under the assumption that she wouldn't feel financially dependent because I would never manipulate her because her value is far more significant than the shekels that I'm making. And so where I'm getting at with this is would financial abuse only come in play in the event that the the partner making the money is potentially riddled with some insecurity and some fear and so he's projecting that onto her making her feel trapped well again he can't make her feel anyway she's choosing to feel that way okay so there's always a there's always a level of onus on both parties correct now the way i look at that i'm trying to think about how to answer your question in the way that's going to make sense and be more concise is i am of the opinion that the most important thing that anybody in a relationship can do is their own financial independence, male, female, whatever.

49:14Each person needs to be financially independent because you never know what's going to happen to the partner. Look at the amount of women that have been, I've been with this guy 30 years. I had his three kids and now he's got a 22-year-old girlfriend that he left me. And so then she feels, you know, she's angry. She's all these kinds of things. but to your point what if she had been building her own financial independence while she was also doing you know married to the guy at that point she could say walk away i don't care what you do i got my own money don't let the door hit you on the way out you know we need to be financially independent but what a lot of us do is if somebody's dating someone else or marrying and the other person makes a lot of money then what we tend to do is acquiesce into them and say, well, okay, they make the money.

49:59I take care of the kids. And I think theoretically there should be quality there because my friend who got divorced recently and his wife literally said he was being financially abusive. He was not. I mean, she was a basket case. He would take her on four star, five star vacations. He gave her everything. When they got divorced, he moved to an apartment and bought her a house for the kids. I mean, he was not financially abusive. But for years, he pressed her, start a coffee shop, do something, but she would never do it. A lot of people just won't step out there and create. And then when they split up, they don't have any money.

50:34Then they blame, well, it's their fault and I'm trapped. And that's not the truth. That is self-created. I said a lot that it makes sense. It makes a whole lot of sense. What I want to just come back on this though, is what about if making money increased and her feeling like she needs to, and in this example, we're using male-female heterosexual marriage. So if she feels the need to go and make money so that she can be financially independent, she might go through extreme levels of stress in the pursuit of making the money, opening a coffee shop, opening something like this. Now, all of a sudden, what happens is the increased level of stress that she is going through is now not making her feel like she can truly lean into a feminine and be herself and, and do, and make her decisions on that passion and excitement that she gets from the thing that she's doing.

51:31Perhaps if there was a value in the partner making the money, that was, I want my partner to be able to leave me if she wants to, which means that, yeah, like one party's making the money, but we're setting, we're setting both of us up independently of each other. So in the event that we did want to leave each other, if we did, we can. See, but that's a whole different ball of wax. That is emotional maturity. My partner and I, you met my partner, have talked about this and that my partner once said to other people at dinner, they said, they said that they were talking at people at dinner were asking us what we liked about each other.

52:09And my partner said also at dinner, I know that no matter what happens with us, Jim would never do anything to hurt me. And I've always been of, if we split, Who knows what's going to happen in the future? If we did, I want you to be able to enjoy your life at the level it was created. I don't want you to have to move to an apartment. I don't want you to have to do anything crappy. I helped contribute to building this. You did too. And I want for you what I want for me. And that is the best. But most people don't go there. They get into their anger and their emotions. And you did this. And I'm going to hurt you for that.

52:45My friend that just got a divorce, his wife is like, and he gave her everything. she's like I'm gonna destroy you and he's like I don't get it I've given her everything I made her like most amazing stay-at-home mom I've given her every bit of money every every and he's a good guy he's a really good guy she has some some issues and I've known them both for many years and the way I look at it is if we separate I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure you have the quality of life the support support network whatever you need but see Chris a deeper issue Most people don't do that. They're emotionally immature.

53:20They separate. Now they're angry at the other person because of the separation. You left me. You did this. You did that. I'm going to hurt you because you hurt me. It doesn't work. Yeah. Do you think there's actually some issues with her? Or do you think that maybe there was a lacking of emotional support or something else that maybe it goes far beyond just money and what the providing is externally? That's a great question. Partly both. Number one is she has some very deep-seated self-worth issues. I've known them for a while. Very deep-seated self-worth issues. And she has some very deep-seated anger issues.

53:56And she's in victim mentality. If anything happens, it's, why did you do this to me? Why did, you know. Now, my friend is the most amazing father. I mean, seriously, he's one of my best friends. And I kind of joke. It's like, I wish, I've told him, I wish you were my dad when I was a kid. Because he's a good dad. He's a great dad. And he cares about his kids. I mean, he lives to be a dad, even though he's an online entrepreneur. And, you know, I look at it that her insecurity contributed to this. But also, he tends to be more, even though he is romantic, I suspect, I don't know what to do in the bedroom.

54:31But he's more of a typical left-brain male kind of guy. Let me provide for my family. Let me work. And then I'll take care of my family. Whereas I think when I watched him communicate, he could have been a little more compassionate in communication. He never yelled at her, never screamed on all his air. He's just not a screamer. He's not an angry person. So yes, they both contributed. But dude, she's got a ton of self-worth issues and anger issues. And that's really the rocks that just sunk the entire relationship. Yeah, I think that's a perfect segue into this one. Most people do things to change instead of being who you needed to change.

55:07that right that right i don't i think i know where you're going but i'm not sure people do things to change instead of being who they need to be to change it's kind of like the the the people are maybe i've written this wrong yeah i've gotten the gotten the quote wrong but i think there's basically what i'm what i'm what i was thinking is they are doing instead of being and And so it's kind of like tying into this be do have pillar of instead of people being the person they need to be to then do the things that that person does and then have that life. They're living in that thing where they're doing the things in hopes of changing.

55:48So like they're doing the action. Right. But then they're deep down still showing up in the same way. And so if we use this example of the woman that maybe has certain issues deep down, it's she'll probably get in another relationship and she'll go down this cycle where there's the same problems going in the same thing. Correct. 100%. She might be like, okay, that went wrong. And so I'm going to do this differently. But deep down, she's still the same person. There was a, you may have heard it, may have not. There was a TV show in the US. It's still popular today. It hadn't been on the air in many years called The Office.

56:21and there was a character in the office named Stanley and he used to talk really slow. And he said, I told my first wife I'm not going to change. I told my second wife I'm not going to change. And I'll tell my third wife I'm not going to change. So that's the irony. Exactly. So many people don't recognize that if a relationship isn't working, they're part of the problem. Generally speaking, not always, but I mean, their partner could have mental health issues. They could be bipolar, whatever. But normally speaking, when people are normal of sound mind and brain, what many of us do is we say, I want this relationship to be better, but you got to work on yourself and you have to fix X, Y, Z.

57:05And what I look at is we're in this together. What do I need to work on? What do you need to work on? And if we both work on them, maybe we can get it to where we want it to be. But most people blame. So going back to be where you started. I asked myself one time, because we want to do things, many of us that are married or in relationships, we want to do things to be a good partner. But what I look at is how must I be? And I must be loving. I must be literally supportive. I must be committed. I must be, there are certain things I must be that precede the behavior. But the number one is unconditional loving.

57:44And that's a challenge for a lot of us many times because we love people conditionally. But I always go back to what ways must I be of this person we're talking about, which you didn't hit on yet. So she's probably going to recreate again. But how is she being in her, which I just explained the mental world behavior. She is being an angry person. She's being a jealous person. That is in her. That is who she is. she will take who she is and carry it to the next relationship and be more of that in the next relationship yeah and so when we're talking about this financial abuse thing i look at uh it's definitely a valid a valid point to raise i love how you always bring it back to the ownership piece of of yeah but you're still choosing to do that and x y and z i do really like that um frame there was an example of a of a woman that um that called she called me out with some stuff and things blew out and things but um and by the way people will project they'll make crap up people can only see in you with what's in them yeah okay so people can accuse you all day long of things but in reality it's really not realistic or other people don't have that evidence but that one person's got xyz going on in their mind and they'll project it onto you doesn't mean is true it just means they're projecting it onto you yeah yeah yeah definitely it's just that concept around how everything is a mirror yeah every single way that you're reacting to anything whether it's money relationships it's all just showing you a bit about you correct and maybe what you have or don't have correct yeah but when we when we look at this is when we got when she came after me it was explaining how i what i said earlier about how i want to work extremely hard to give my partner the freedom of choice to make whatever she she wants to do and that's just something that i wanted to do i thought that was a fair thing but when she was explaining that that's really it's a very toxic message to be projecting yeah um she proceeds to say that she posts on her instagram that her mom had this sticker on her fridge since she was like three years old yeah and the sticker said a man is not a financial plan and it's this sticker and so obviously I'm assuming making assumptions that her dad treated her mom maybe wrongly or poorly maybe potentially and so she had this sticker there so all year so a whole life upbringing this is what she reads a man is on a financial plan a man is on a financial plan a man is on a financial plan now potentially it's he's not and potentially there's a level of like yeah you should have some independence and things and that's great um but would you suggest that having that imprinted in you is really forming this story so then you're maybe building up a negative connotation towards a man because you can't even anything form of a man wanting to provide in any shape or form it's like no no no no no 100 i need to do this on my own yeah and um and and so when i looked at that and then i looked at all of the other things that flowed out into her life CEO of a company, her husband took his, her last name, like, like, I kind of look at that, it's going, she wants to be the person.

1:01:00And I'm just wondering that, like, that's fine if that serves you and that's great. But do you think that there's a level of projection that comes in based on the stories that she has been told and the identity that she's formed growing up? Number one, she's a no control, well, not number one, number one point, she's no control issue. Secondly, do you like people to tell you how you have to live your life? No. Okay. See, what she's not recognizing is she doesn't, she's trying to tell you how she wants you to live your life. So she's like, here's my model of reality. She works for what I call my, my, my rules for me, my rules for you.

1:01:42And where I work, and that's a big problem in the, in the world, in the U S right now, we see it with religion. We see it with politics. we see it with it everywhere in the world, is here's my morality. You should live by my morality. That's a bunch of crap. What we should live by, my, your, as long as you're not hurting anyone. My rules for me, your rules for you. Because if I don't like you telling me how to live, what gives me the right to tell you how to live? So for her and her model of reality, that may work for her. And I'm going to tell you this, the man she finds, that guy better be a pretty strong dude because, or he's going to be a really weak dude.

1:02:22I don't know yet, but she's going to wear the pants. Okay. Yeah. She is going to wear the pants and you know, that's fine, but she's trying to impress her model of reality on you. And that's just not, that's not fair. It's not right because no one wants anyone else impressing their model of reality on them. So why impress yours on them? Yeah, me and me and then me and you. Yeah. Yeah. And just an emphasis on no malicious intent. No. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. So just nothing like. Me and you without hurting anyone in the process. This is the thing. So I live in Sedona. A lot of people say it's like, you know, the old phrase in Austin, keep Austin weird.

1:03:06Have you heard that yet? Yeah, yeah. Okay. So Austin's very liberal, progressive, open-minded. Sedona is very much the same way. But if you went to, let's say, the Upper East Side of New York City, where I used to live, completely different demographic, okay? Doesn't mean they're any better, any worse. That's how they choose to live because that's how they're being. I have to live and let live. I have to let it be, so to speak. But we also have to let other people be who they are as long as you're not hurting other people. Let people just be themselves. You know what I love? I love religion for people that serves them and they embody it.

1:03:45They live it. They can see that it makes an impact on their life. But then they are so fine with however you want to live your life as long as it serves you. Correct. So when you see someone that's a Christian that embodies it, that loves it, but never ever is projecting it down your throat like it's the only way. Yeah. I love— Well, Gandhi said there is no religion in heaven. Yeah. Well, I mean, isn't the biggest thing Jesus hated was religion? I'm pretty sure it says that. That is correct. Because it's Jews and us, Muslims and us, Christians and us. There's a divide. There's no unitedness with religion.

1:04:22however god or source whatever that's connected well the big thing that's going on right now and i have a degree in political science and psychology but a big thing in the u.s right now is the fundamentalists are crying that they're trying to say the u.s is a christian nation it's not a christian it's secular the the founding fathers were a lot of them were masons not christians uh freemasons freemasonary it's a secret society been around for thousands of years they were freemasons i think even like 70 of u.s presidents have been masons i've never heard of really yeah i'm sure a lot of people masonry i'm sure a lot of people listening have heard a big mason before but in the u.s what we're seeing a lot of is the far-right fundamental christians saying the u.s is a christian nation it's not but here's the point because this is not about politics so if we're truly a christian nation we're helping the poor we're helping the weak We're showing love.

1:05:16We're showing compassion. We are literally recognizing that we are all, in Christian terms, children of God. But one political party in the U.S. is the opposite of that. Let's kick all immigrants out. Let's take poor people off all the assistance they need. And again, I'm not getting the political discussion, but there's a difference between, there's a guy that was a very big personality for many years, not on the planet, named Wayne Dyer. And Wayne said many years ago, there's a difference between being Christ-like and being a Christian. They are not the same thing. And Wayne said, I'd rather be Christ-like than be a Christian.

1:05:53Because you can watch people go to church or a synagogue or the mosque or whatever, and they're all holy, and they walk outside and they're honking at traffic and kicking dogs and screaming at people. We have to look at the ways we're being in anything in our life, because what are we called as a species? pretty simple i just gave you a hint what are we called how to what's it what's the species called humans human what human beings yes human beings not human doings but we don't recognize that we are all beings but we actually plug our being into our belief systems and then we be the belief systems and the belief systems keep us poor or keep us mad or keep us angry or keep us racist everything.

1:06:36Genesis is the being of creation. And we always have to go back to the being. And what I look at from a bigger perspective is why am I on the planet? You're no different than I am. And you used to live in Australia. I love Australians. I love Canadians. I love, you know, Bolivia. I mean, we're all on the planet together. So how can I be the best being that I can be and nurture and support the most amount of people is where I work from, because we're all in this race together. Yeah, a big thing that, I mean, I've faced, definitely faced, a lot of people would face is pedestalling and putting other people above you and kind of looking up to people and looking down on people.

1:07:18And so having different levels where you'll look down on a homeless person, look up to a billionaire. Right. I remember explaining this to you and you kind of shut it down on a call where you're like, no, you should never treat anyone differently because you can learn something from everyone. Can we unpack this a little bit and talk to me about how you can not pedestal anyone and not have different levels and look down and look up on people? Two places to go with this. I remember my brother-in-law saying, who's a shaman, saying to me, he was giving me an example. He goes, let's say that a very successful business this person drives up to a stoplight and they're in their Saks Fifth Avenue$1 ,000 coat.

1:08:00They're driving a$100 ,000 Mercedes. And they look over and they see a person in an old beat-up car and the person's really poor. The person in the Mercedes might look over and snarl and judge the person in the car, the poor person. But simultaneously, the poor person in the car will look over and snarl at the really rich person. They're both judging. They're both doing the same thing. And where I work from, when I was in New York City, I had many celebrity clients. People envy celebrity for whatever reason. And I've met tons of celebrities. And I'm going to tell you this, they ain't no different and no better than anyone else.

1:08:40As a matter of fact, many celebrities have a more difficult life. They have the notoriety. And yes, they can get a table in a restaurant and they got money and things come easily. But also, they have no privacy. They have people literally, you know, some celebrities can't even walk in the streets. You know, they're bothered everywhere they go. And a client of mine one time, very famous even today, back then he came to me in 2000, like the year 2001. And he called me on a, on a Friday morning and goes, can I see you today? He was already a client of mine. He goes, can I see you today? And I'm like, well, I'm, you know, it's Friday, but I'm going to be done at four.

1:09:18I'm going to go home. And he goes, I need to see you before I go back to LA. I'm starting my next movie. I've got to see you before I go back. And he came in and I said, what's going on? And he said, well, I went to a party last night and I got home at 2 a.m. and I wasn't drunk enough. So I went to another party at 6 a.m. till 6 a.m. And I was extremely drunk. And I went home and you're the first person I called. He was an extremely abusive to himself alcoholic, yet he was handsome. He was famous. He was a movie star. And he said to me, he goes, you don't realize how much pressure people put on you.

1:09:52You can't be normal when you're a celebrity because people talk all these things about you. They have all these expectations about you. My bigger point is he wasn't doing anything differently than a bum in the gutter might be doing drinking Mad Dog 2020. They're trying to soothe the pain. We're all the same, even though we live different experiences of life does that make sense i think uh a caveat to add to this i was trying to apply it to my self on a very very small small small micro scale uh they're just not documenting the full piece i often wonder they feel a divide between them and everyone are they putting that on themselves though are they making themselves more exclusive and being more of a person that's pedestaled by only showing such highlights yeah sure by doing so the reason they feel so misunderstood is because no one sees the lows so they think everyone thinks their life is picture perfect yeah but they can't walk out on the street they can't do this their mind's racing all the time they you know they can't sit in their thoughts they can't leave the house even though all they want to do is go to chipotle but they can't do it but perhaps they're putting on themselves now i don't know there's probably a combination of things but when i look at brand the thing with a celebrity is like it's like you own you don't see they're untouchable they're not on the street ever and the reason they're not on the street but people see them so much everywhere online is why they get stopped and get swarmed and everything.

1:11:32So I often wonder, and this is an interesting thought, is if we documented more of our life as a celebrity, would we be so swarmed in public? I don't know. I mean, I've not really put a lot of time into studying the culture and all that. But I'll tell you this. If somebody said right now, Jim, you can be famous just tomorrow. Would you tell us? No, I'm going to pass. You're in my home. It's quiet. It's comfortable. Nobody bothers me. And if I were a celebrity, then I'd be like, well, are there cameras coming over the ridge here? Can I walk through the house naked? It's all glass. I don't have any neighbors, but are there, you know, I have had celebrity friends that are like, I have no privacy.

1:12:14I have no life. People think that I've got all these kinds of things and I have the material things, but I have no peace of mind. People want to know who I'm dating. People make stories up about this. No matter where I go, I see these things. And I don't know how I got on this topic, but about judgment is where I work from is everyone's got their crap. Everyone's got their stories. Everyone's living their lives. And there's a phrase we've all heard is be kind to people because you don't know what they're dealing with today. Maybe their dog died today. Maybe they are getting a divorce today. Maybe they found their partner cheating today.

1:12:49Maybe one of their, this is all, these things have happened. I mean, like my sister died one day of, not one day, well, she died one day, my younger sister, many years ago. And then we were traveling when she was in a hospital. And then when she passed, we went to dinner that night in a restaurant. We were in Nashville because she's in the hospital there. So we're sitting in the restaurant eating. And as I think about this, nothing happened there. But there are people behind us in a family. They were having a good time. But my family were sitting there and my sister just passed that morning. but you don't know what's going on with people.

1:13:22So I look at how can we be the best version of us to treat people well? Because everyone's dealing with something. And what I really look at is how do I use my life? You know, Oprah said, and I used to work at the Carter Presidential Center many years ago, Jimmy Carter, people don't recognize what an extraordinary man that guy was. He did more humanitarian work than people can even fathom. And I saw it because I was in the office. When I look at Oprah and I look at Jimmy Carter, they used their life. And that's what I look at my time on the planet. How can I use my life, my experience here? And I just started the third chapter of my life.

1:13:58You're in the first chapter. I'm on the third chapter. And I'm like, okay, I don't have a lot of time left. It can be 25 years. It can be 30 years. I'm going to leave the planet. How do I use my life? Because what we want, I think you talk, I don't follow social media. And I was wondering if you got it from me or not. But I think you talked about on a video yesterday, I saw yesterday, about meaning. Remember you shooting, you shoot an Instagram video or a live or something talking about meaning. That's what people want. The motivational speakers will say, what is your why? You got to find your why.

1:14:31And that's analytical. And for years I'm like, well, what's my why? I don't know what, what's, but when we talk about what makes you matter, because we all want to matter. Somebody that's on the streets wants to matter. Somebody that's a billionaire, we want to matter. So what makes you matter? And that's generally turns into what I call your dharma, which means your path, what you're supposed to be doing while you're on this planet. Would you say that's the greatest mission we should be on to find? A hundred percent. That's a, that's a for sure. A hundred percent. I saw a quote yesterday. It was in Buddhism and the Buddha said, the most important work you will ever do is to discover why you're on the planet and then to do that work.

1:15:17My brother-in-law, his mentor, who's not on the planet, said to me many years ago, the most important thing that I ever decided is what I had to do before I crossed over, meaning before he left the planet. So I look at it as we all come with a mission, we all come with an assignment. It's all for our own spiritual evolution and growth. What am I to do? What am I to be while I am here? That, no question, is one of the most important things we can do. But what do most people do? They work in jobs that, quote, soul suck them for 20 years, and they trade their soul and their life for what? For money.

1:15:53Yeah, and probably not a lot of it. And not a lot, because they're working for someone else. And they got their 401k or whatever it is, but they're trading their life for a couple of bucks. That is not a way to live. How do people get out of this? Because it's easy for people on... the alchemist the book you had in your your luggage when you were in here a bit ago yeah i did i did uh this is that book's encompassing this conversation very well this topic right and there was a quote in the alchemist and it said the he talks about his the why being the personal legend and he says the closer one gets to his personal legend the more clear the personal legend becomes yeah and when i read that it hit me it was just in a random passing comment in the book i love when you read books and sometimes like the smallest little thing hits you right and that hit me so much and i think the reason for that is because i've i've reassessed my life and i've gone the closer my my personal legend my purpose my why is so much more powerful and strong and means so much more now than it did 12 months 24 months three years five years ago yeah Yeah.

1:17:06And I thought about it and I was like, I actually don't think you can ever get to that, but you can get closer to it because it keeps evolving. It's going to be as you evolve. It's going to keep evolving. Correct. And so I actually don't think you can ever achieve your true personal legend. Hang on. Achieve and journey are two different things. We work in an achievement hustle culture. You got to achieve. I don't, one of my mentors, she's 85 now, was one of the most influential people in Dallas business. She owned the second largest private real estate company in Texas. I was, she hired me to coach a lot of her people at her company, but she and I became best friends.

1:17:46And she wrote me a note one time at Christmas. And the note, part of the note said, Jim, is I've learned to drop the word achievement and replace it with contribution. contribution. So many of us are taught to achieve, but we want to achieve for external reasons. If I achieve, this might resonate with you and some other people. You and I talked about this. If I achieve, people are going to look at me and say, look at them. Look what they've done. Wow, they're successful. I want to be like that person. It's all ego nonsense. It's all basically wanting other people to approve of you and like you and accept you.

1:18:24Where I work from is this not achievement and i've achieved more than most people in my life i don't care about the achievement what i look at is the contribution when we're standing in my foyer i said i love the fact that i've worked with you and you have the impact so i can vicariously make an impact through you that's what gives my life meaning and makes me matter is the impact that i make while i'm here yeah Yeah. And so if we just tie back to this alchemist book of him going in search for the treasure, it's not even about the destination. It's not about the journey. It's about who we build, the character we build along the way and the impact that that character can make.

1:19:07The character that we build in service of others. Correct. Because when we look at this thing, I don't think we can ever find, maybe we take out achieve and replace it with find i don't think we can as i said before is the greatest mission we can go on is finding our purpose or our why and our mission and the thing that we're here for but i actually don't know if we can find it but the the the mission itself the pursuit towards finding it is the thing because i think like we're going to get there and if we didn't have anything else to find, then what would be our mission, right? We want to keep evolving.

1:19:48We want to keep leveling up in service of others. And so perhaps the journey of this mission of finding what we're here to do in service of others is the thing. It never ends. We don't find this thing and we go, okay, we're sorted. We're done. It's this journey that keeps going until we leave. It evolves. Yeah. And where I work from, number one, as a little segue here, I didn't know, we didn't know, I didn't know where our conversation was going to go today. That's the best part. I had no clue where we were going to go. I didn't know that we would be at this place in our conversation, which is great.

1:20:23This is kind of in my wheelhouse. But when I look at, number one, as I look at, we have dharma. We have karma and we have dharma. Your dharma is, what are you here to do? What is your mission? And so many people, they work these jobs for dollars because they don't know what they want to do. And everyone knows what they want to do, but then they get into a belief of, well, I can't do that. And then what comes all these little micro beliefs because of the money or the judgment or my family's not going to approve or how can I make money at that? Or will society say something about that? And where I work from is when you're living your dharma, you feel it, you know.

1:21:05So let's use me for an example. Obviously, you're in my home. I've done very well in my field over the past, you know, 30 years. Let me get, let me back up here. So Mother Teresa, you know who she is, right? Okay. And a lot of people your age don't. Mother Teresa. So do you think she was put on the planet to be a real estate billionaire? No. No. She did what she did. She helped the homeless and the poor and the less privileged, and she did it her entire life. That's why she came to the planet. So we naturally gravitate to what's in our soul. That is our soul calling. And our dharma is, why are you here?

1:21:48So what I look at is what lights me up. So what I'm doing with my podcasts and my coaching and my training I've done for years, if you said, number one, I don't really care about the money, but if you said, I'll give you a billion dollars right now and you can just do it, I'll give you a billion dollars. But you got to quit what you're doing. I'm not going to do it. Why? Because this is why I came to the planet. This is what I do. This is my dharma. And if I don't do my dharma, and you made a beautiful point, it's not about the journey. It's about the becoming. Remember human being? It's about the becoming.

1:22:22And this is what I know. When we leave the planet, we take nothing with us. Beautiful home I live in. It ain't going with me. Trust me. Why? Because I'm going to get a better place to live when I live here. wherever that's going to be. So what I look at is who did you become while you were on the planet? Because that's all you're going to take with you is who you became. How do we access that soul-led version of us then? We feel it. We feel it. So if we can't feel it right now, we don't know what that is, is it a process of finding - Hang on, before you keep going, there's already limitations there.

1:22:54But it's a beautiful question. If we can't find it right now, somebody that i've known from social media for 10 years maybe 20 years uh he was in tcp maybe two or three years ago and he mess he he texted me and i we just kind of had a personal friendship a little bit he texted me two days ago goes goes jim he goes i need help you're the person who keeps coming to mind i know you're very expensive i can't afford it but can you help me can you hop a call with me? And I said, yeah, I can help you. So we hopped on a call and he really has gotten himself. He's on a company of 24 employees or I think the mortgage company.

1:23:34He's dead broke, broke, broke, broke right now. And he messaged me some things that he's been thinking. And there was like this war and peace, meaning this big, long novel of all these things in his head. I'm coming back to your point. This guy is a massive, massive, massive analytical overthinker. he's in his head constantly the overthinking is what blocks the intuition from the right brain from soul from divine mind the overthinking is all your 3d physical body your past experience your beliefs all that blocking the higher wisdom from the mind so you say people don't know it's because they won't get quiet to know and then you went back to oprah she said she took that time every morning i take that time every day to just let it come we try to make life happen you don't force life to happen.

1:24:23You allow it to happen. So I just get quiet and I follow what feels right. Yep. So tying it back into what I was saying was then it's not about going in search for it. It's actually about removing all of the crap that is blocking it all. Not 100, 1000%. That is exactly. All of the noise in your life, all of the people in your life, the job that you keep overthinking about the coffee prices increasing and you're complaining about that the fuel prices have gone up and then your mind's just blocked about that when you're in traffic on the way to work and you're just annoyed that it's taking double the amount of time all of those things is the things that's blocking the soul and when it blocks you from accessing your soul you can't be fulfilled because you're not leading with the soul you can't hit you're not leading you can't hear it quiet is the emphasis here.

1:25:14How do we just quiet everything down? The way we do that is we eliminate all the noise and it doesn't need to be loud noise. It needs to be all of the just the noise, right? Phone. Okay. This here can be one of the most productive things on the planet and also one of the most destructive things on the planet. I'm sorry to say that we both use social media, but I think we both use it appropriately. This little device by the owners of these companies is designed to hook your brain into scrolling. Why? They keep you on the device. They sell ad space. They make money. So we've been conditioned as beings to literally, boom, dopamine hit, dopamine hit, dopamine hit on the devices.

1:25:58These things take our silence away from us. They're destroying this generation of young kids that are in high school right now because their whole life is about, oh, I see they've got 21 ,000 friends on Instagram, but I've only got 17, so I'm not as good as them. It's the same thing we did in my generation where, oh, they're wearing a polo or they're wearing Levi's and I can't afford that or they live in a nicer house. It's the same thing, but now it's all digital and it destroys people's self-worth, self-value and self-esteem, but it keeps us in this noise. and this noise, I'm just going to say it because I wish he did, but I'm sure he's not going to listen to it.

1:26:40This noise makes like what's his name? Zuckerberg, a multi-billionaire. Look at the dude. He's the third richest person in the world. How? Through noise. It's the noise. It's the garbage that's pumped out that these people facilitate that makes them this kind of money. And we have to get out. You said again, my house is very serene. I said earlier, it's my sanctuary. I keep this space quiet and I get rid of the noise from the external world. Do you think it's a negative feedback loop? So what happens is they are working a job they don't like and they're hanging around people that they don't like that are negative.

1:27:20And then - To be cool, to be liked for approval. Okay. Yeah. All of these things. And then what happens is they actually don't like reality. They can't access their soul. So then what they do is they then try and escape it through distraction. Alcohol, drugs, all the things. But then that then makes it even worse in their reality because there's such a big high that there's a come down. So then they don't enjoy their reality even more. So then they opt for escaping it even more. and then they just go around in this circle. You don't know this. I'm sure you don't know it, but I'm going to say it.

1:27:58I don't mean that arrogantly. There's an ancient principle called the law of rhythm. It's one of the seven cosmic laws. It's in the Kabbalion, K-Y-B-A-L-I-O-N. The Kabbalion, the manuscript is believed to be 10 ,000 years old. And the law of rhythm is that the pendulum will only swing as far to the right as it does the left. So exactly what you just said is the law of rhythm. so i got this big high with the big high comes a big low and now overcompensate we go back to the big high again and now we're just back and forth back and forth now final comment before we go to the next thing roomie was talking about everything i did a podcast i think as episode number six on this the most the most amazing power you have or your superpower is silence because silence is where you hear.

1:28:51Silence is where the body heals. When you go into silence, that is true meditation, that state of being. That's where we start connecting with divine mind, universal mind, God, whatever you want to call it. When we're so distracted, we don't go to silence. First thing that people do in the morning is they get up, they reach over on their nightstand and they start scrolling and the world owns them the second they pick this up. you say in your intro this is a podcast with no rah-rah motivation and no hype right what do you think the problem is with rah-rah motivational content like jim like jim roan said you motivate an idiot you've got nothing more than a motivated idiot i've been a professional speaker i don't do it anymore but for many years speaking from the big stages and all that kind of stuff motivation is is and the hype is it feels good in the moment but it it wears off we have to be and you and i were talking a bit ago and i agree a thousand percent is people don't learn as much when you talk about bullet list they learn more which is ancient tradition they learn through stories because that's how human history has been passed down is through stories they connect Connect, exactly.

1:30:08Because even as we're talking, I mean, you guys listening, we just took a break and grabbed some water. And I said, Chris, let's do some more takeaways. And he's like, well, don't you think you're giving a lot of takeaways? And I'm like, just in my head, I lived this. I've lived it for decades. I don't know what takeaways there are, but people listening will go, well, that's me. And that's me. And that applies to me. And I saw that with my brother. So I guess there are takeaways. So. No one's listening 90 minutes in if there wasn't. Exactly. Yeah. That's, That's true too. So where I work from is even though I am a marketer, I believe it's really important to be an ethical marketer, meaning I taught persuasion and influence for a lot of years.

1:30:50I know how to get money out of people's pockets, but I tell people because a lot of people just want to do it because they want to make the money. The reason I do it is an ancient principle called Ayni, A-Y-N-I. Ayni is a reciprocity of life. We're going to make each other's lives better and that I'm going to coach you normally when I coach people and you're going to pay me a certain amount of money. And in exchange, I'm going to give you all these tools and coaching and mentorship to go where you want to go in life. We are in a cycle together. And I think so much rah-rah hype, number one, is it feels good, but it's not going to change your life.

1:31:24Why? Because if you can't get, that's all content. And if you can't get the content into your context, the content is of no value. That's one reason. But secondly, many of us, we need a lot of repetition. The brain learns through repetition. So we need repetition for it to soak in. So I think the rah-rah hype is good for the feel-good entertainment value. But as far as a lifetime change value, I don't think it's all that valuable. When you say going from content to context, what do you mean by that? How do we access context? context. One of the best questions you asked today, and a lot of people ask me that question, I was on a podcast of a woman named Kathy Heller recently.

1:32:04She has 45 million downloads on her podcast. And she goes, I have interviewed famous people, all that. She goes, no one has ever said it the way you said it. Content versus context. Okay. So what we do is we go to YouTube, we go to Instagram, we go to TikTok and all these places. We read books and we read and we read and we read. That is all content. But your subconscious identity is your context. That is the frame of how your model of reality works. That is who you are at a subconscious level. You are the context. If we can't get the content into the context, the content is of no value. Give you an example.

1:32:47You probably have heard of the famous book. It's, I don't know, 100 years old. Think and Grow Rich. Okay. Why can that book sell 100 million copies, but yet 97 % or 98 % of people read it never become rich? Why? It's just content. Content. Doesn't talk about. Content. Now, when I was your age, I was already, actually, I was out of college. I kid you not. For 10 years, I made money. I was what I call just a nuffer. I had my corporate job. I made just enough to pay my bills, enough to go out, enough to date, all these kind of things. but no extra money. I was a just enough for like most people listening is they make just enough money, but they never make abundance.

1:33:29I'm working from my context. That's okay. So I had my phone for demonstration. I'll show it again. So on your phone, people listening can just visualize or imagine along. On your phone, there's a battery running in the background, right? But you're not aware if you don't have a battery, you don't have a battery icon on your home screen. You don't know how much battery you have, but the battery is always running, right? Okay, your context is always running in the background. And if your context is you're poor, the F word women use, I'm so fat. And many people say that, I'm so fat. Or no one would want to date me.

1:34:05Or why would anyone listen to me? If that's your context, no matter how much I tell you, I've got a good friend of mine. She's a really pretty woman. And she constantly beats herself up because she didn't think she's good looking enough. However, she defines that. And I'm like, you're a lovely woman. You're a beautiful woman. She can't see that in herself. So no matter how much content you give her telling her she is beautiful, by almost any standard, it doesn't sink in. So many of us consume massive amounts of content. But if we can't get the content into the context, the content is of no value.

1:34:44Okay, so I've just had a thought around this. do you think if we lack a positive context about ourself we're kind of in this context of negative feedback loop of i'm not good looking x y and z right we we will opt for seeking for more external validation so that we can be reminded of our worth when okay do you remember the exercise we did the very first week in coaching with you where i gave you i told you to pick 10 values and we broke them down. Okay. So when I'm coaching one-to-one with like you, which I don't do a lot of one-to-one anymore because we get more, we get better results in group because of the social learning.

1:35:24But I remember this woman one time and now she's on stage of a Russell Brunson and all these kinds of things. So I looked at her list of her 10 eyes values and she had like money. Number one, uh, social notoriety, number two, professional recognition, number three, and like number seven or eight was her marriage. Now, she organized that out of her own brain, which told me that's the importance her brain put on those values. So then in that moment, it was no surprise to me that her marriage was struggling. Why? Because she wanted social things and money over the value of her relationship. She eventually got a divorce.

1:36:07But she wanted the social, and this beautiful question, because so many people spend 99 % of their time looking good or trying not to look bad. So she literally was seeking this social validation to facilitate her own or to eliminate her own lack of self-worth. Meaning that all these people like me, that I'm going to like myself more because of all these people approving of me. So I'm going to do all these things externally to get all these people to like me, and I'm going to feel better about myself. That's hollow. it's that we need to work on our own self-value and own self-worth and own self-love before anything else because everything in life comes from how comes from hell and to what degree you value yourself if you don't value yourself you're going to struggle with money relationships and health so i guess when we look at that then it's it's alarm bells are ringing off in my mind because I just go, if you're seeking external validation, you're not truly full within yourself where you need to see someone else remind you of how good you are to feel good.

1:37:15Or approve of you. Yeah. Okay. Approve of you. Yeah. Which means that you haven't approved yourself already. Correct. 100%. We're looking for, it's called external validation. Yeah. Meaning I will find my worth when you validate me. I have a good friend of mine. He used to be a good friend. He's not anymore. I haven't seen him in probably 10 years. And he was big in internet marketing. He'd go to a lot of events. I remember one time he posted something on Instagram. And he said, I'm going to California to hang out with my friends, Sarah Blakely and Jesse... It's the... It's the... Who are you?

1:37:49I don't follow people. And why didn't he just say, I'm going to New York to hang out with friends? Notice what he did. Yeah. I'm going to New York to hang out with my rich and well-known friends. So in his mind, that gives him association to the rich and well-known people. But every time he would talk about things, he would always drop some kind of social validation. Oh, I'm hanging out with so-and-so today. I'm hanging out with this person today. And he did it because of his own lack of self-worth. And what I've learned over the years is the greatest reward comes when you're humble about it. Because candidly, no one really gives a crap who you know and who you don't know and how much you don't have.

1:38:33And what they care about is the quality of person, not all these facades that you put up, but most people live in a facade. Yeah. I wonder if there's value in being able to, like, is there value in being able to subtly do that when you're new in a relationship with someone so that they take you more seriously? I think the most important thing we can be in a relationship, this is a phrase I say all the time. And actually, my massage therapist just repeated it back as his favorite phrase. Just be who and what you are. If we're trying to control, what you just said is the biggest reason that people get a divorce or one of the biggest.

1:39:13In the U.S., I think we have a 53 % divorce rate. So let's say two people meet. I'm going to just use you and I for an example, but they're in a relationship. So I meet you, you meet me. We have physical, as couples do, there's physical attractiveness. Then guess what? I'm going to buy your bullshit because I want you to like me. If I buy your crap, you're going to like me. And then you're going to buy my crap so that I'll like you. Now we built this entire relationship on you buy my crap and I'll like you and you buy my crap and I'll like you. But the whole relationship is built on a crappy foundation.

1:39:46We've got to be who we are. We've got to be genuine and authentic, or we're literally building a relationship on somebody, but they're not truly those values that we think that they are. And that's why year number two and number three, what happened to you? You changed. I don't enjoy being around you as much anymore. We don't share the same values anymore. We don't want to do the same things. People, well, the number one reason that people get divorced, even though I said number one a bit ago, is they don't know themselves. They're so busy looking for external validation, they don't know themselves.

1:40:19So then they'd be somebody they're not because they're wanting a relationship, now the relationship is built on two people that are not themselves. Yeah. You mentioned unmet needs in a relationship will get... Always. Unmet needs in a relationship will get met. Yeah. What does that mean? Research I read years ago in the US, 60 % of men have extramarital affairs, 40 % of women. There's something I talked about on my podcast a couple of days ago. There was a guy in New city many years ago i heard him on howard stern when i listened that's back in a different world 25 years ago and this guy was on howard stern i think he's a billionaire in new york and he said jerry seinfeld stole my wife that's not true his wife might have left him to be in a relationship with jerry jerry seinfeld but if she were getting and the number one thing women want is the emotional support and security if she were getting that that at home she never would have left her current husband to be of someone else.

1:41:19So she had unmet needs in the relationship. She got them met somewhere else. Let's flip it. In the U.S., 63 % of men have extramarital affairs, 40 % of women. Why are they doing that? That's an insane statistic. Unmet needs at home are not getting met. Therefore, I'm going to meet my needs somewhere else. Unmet needs will get met. that's that's fascinating where does identity play a role in this i don't understand the question like like when you say unmet needs do you think there's a they're identifying in a certain way or from like a lacking like are they going like like i feel like i need this thing which means that they're operating in a state of that's all identity yeah yeah um and that could come down to like love languages like you know what love languages are yeah so whatever your love language is like physical touch physical touch or words of affirmation together exactly if that's who you are you become that way as a child two three four five six years old you become that so yes 100 that it is identity but you become the identity that you learn as a child that filters into your your love language and then if you don't get your love language met your identity is not being met right and so for the people to result in having an affair perhaps there's just a lack of willingness or a lack of openness with their partner because what i mean by this is like 100 100 i keep saying because you keep nailing it 100 again yeah Because I'm just thinking is if they aren't getting met, they're either not voicing to their partner that they're not getting met or they've voiced it to their partner, but then the partner is not willing to make change.

1:43:16It goes deeper. It goes deeper. Yeah, this can get a little dicey, but it goes deeper. in that so when people are in a in an intimate relationship and they're having sex and which which actually fosters intimacy the sex especially if you've got a partner that is their love language is physical okay so the intimacy fosters a relationship and makes it stronger but what i've noticed coaching people over the years most people are afraid to tell their partner their most authentic and truest thoughts. So let's take sex, for example. Men or women, many people are afraid to tell their partner how they like sex and the kind of sex that they want.

1:43:58Meaning, oh, my partner might be really timid, but I'm really wild, so to speak. But I can't tell my partner that because my partner is really timid and I'm really wild and I like to be adventurous and I like to explore and all these kind of things. So what happens is the explorative partner doesn't tell the non-explorative partner and never communicate. The one that is not explorative never tells the explorative partner, that's too much for me. It's too fast. I don't like it. I think that's too racy. They don't talk. And all this below the surface is like seething below the surface. So then they never communicate why.

1:44:34And it blows my mind that we hear this. I'm afraid to be judged by my partner is what a lot of people say. and my thought is, are you kidding? They are your partner. They're the ones you are married to. They're the ones that you share your finances with and you can't tell them your deepest thoughts. That's a problem. But many, many people live that way. So they don't know their partners and their partners are afraid. Well, if I tell my husband this or I tell my wife, they're gonna judge me. They're gonna think I'm weird. For crying out loud, your partners communicate. Yeah, there's a lack of intimacy.

1:45:10And the intimacy is like how close and willing you are to be open and honest with each other. So not intimacy in the sense of physical touch, intimacy in the sense of mental intimacy. Let's, again, you nailed it again. So I try not to say 100%. Intimacy. Break that apart. In, to, me, I, see. Wow. Most people won't look into themselves. So what we do is we mask that. But when I used to live in New York City, many men back then, many men worked on Wall Street, and they would go to work at 730 in the morning and work till eight o 'clock at night. The weekend would roll around. He would send the wife and the kids to the Hamptons to their vacation home for the weekend.

1:45:55He stayed in the city. And many times people will work their life away. Why? Because that is a, it's a, it's a diversion from intimacy. As long as I stay busy all day long, I don't have to stop and I don't have to look into me. My brother-in-law being a shaman, every New Year's, he would say to me every new, we'd hang out every New Year's, we still do. And he would hug me. He, I mean, he hugs me more than New Year's, but he would say, I hope you know yourself better this year than you knew yourself last year. Now, what he meant was not at an ego level. He meant at a soulful level. I hope you come to know the power of you and the majesty of you and how amazing you are at a soulful level.

1:46:40So most of us, literally, we never explore who we are at a deeper level because we're so busy trying to hide from other people or manufacture other people's opinions about us. I love it. That's gold. It's so good. Let's go to the next one. Most people set goals for outcomes inconsistent with identity. Most people set goals for behavior. Most people never consider characteristics of performance. Most people never think about who they need to be to achieve their goals. And frankly, this is why most people never achieve the goals they have. Yeah. What people don't recognize is, number one, is where I work from is so many people chase success.

1:47:24They're chasing success for external validation. And where I work from is success is how much you have grown and evolved yourself while you've been on the planet. Because the physical stuff doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. It's nice to have. Living like I do is great because it makes life convenient. But I'll tell you this, you can have just a crappy life living in a house like I live, which is very high end. You can be as miserable. You can be a drunk. You can be suicidal. You can be shooting a pair of one. You can be, you know, battering your partner around. The environment is one thing, but I have to look at who are we being and how are we being?

1:48:06And I believe that true success is that I leave the planet being the highest evolution to me that I could possibly be. That is success, learning the most amount here on the planet. But going back to your question here, I actually repeated the part of it again. Well, set goals for outcomes inconsistent with identity, goals for behavior. Right. I got all that. And they never consider characteristics of performance. Okay. I got it. Okay. I know where it's going to go. Is a coach of mine 30 years ago used to always say success is a matter of character. Now, we tend to think character is moral character, meaning they are, and this could be part of it, but they're moral, they're honest.

1:48:51Now, what he meant was is success is a matter of characteristics, things you've done with me. Are you self-integral? Are you 100 % responsible? Are you committed? Are you, you know, you look at these characteristics these are ways of being and you must be the ways of being that create the outcomes that you want but most people aren't being the characteristic which is the ways of being yeah so setting the goals as well uh on false fallacies in a sense like they're setting goals based on what they think success is yeah but they're actually going further away from the success because they're just creating more noise in their life potentially or they're basing it upon, again, what I said a bit ago, is if I have all that success, you're going to look up to me.

1:49:38You're going to want to be like me. You're going to praise me. And when you look up to me and you praise me and all those kind of things, now I'm a better person. I'm a good person now because of all these people looking up to me. Many people in my industry, we're in the same industry now, many people in this industry do it. You know, for example, right now I'm wearing a Rolex. I never wear this watch. I do it every so often, mainly. I like it. I bought it. But remember one time I was at an event and this speaker had a Rolex on one hand and a Timex on the other. She goes, I wear the Timex for me and the Rolex for you.

1:50:14Now, in the field that we work in, a good friend of mine, I mentioned his name. I don't want to mention it here. He came over for dinner one time. I knew he was in town. He used to live here. And he lives in California. And he said, Jim, you need to shoot video in your house. I mean, holy mackerel, your house is social proof for your success. My marketing manager is constantly beating on my head, shoot video, shoot video in the house. My house is private. This is where I live. This is my home. I don't need to shoot video in here to prove to you that I'm this, that, or the other. I don't have to prove anything.

1:50:48This is me and this is where I live. But so many of us do this for the social validation. conversation and i've come to a point in my life where what makes me happy and how can i help you that's all i care about how can i help some are going to approve of me some are not i'm fine with that because i don't approve everyone why would everyone approve of me do you think documenting you living a high life a high life always has to be um about what people are going to think of you or do you think it's going to be a way to access more people which in turn can share your wisdom It can be both. You know, many years ago, my director of operations, who's not with me, the company anymore, said, Jim, I need you to shoot some video of you and your Porsche.

1:51:34And why? I mean, I get it because people, many times we see something, we think, oh, and it is social validation because if you're talking about success, you better look like you have money, right? Because you're not going to, if I'm talking about success, I can't be driving up in a 10-year-old beat-up car for the most part. I've got to walk the talk and look the part, but I don't want to flaunt the part. And so many people online, hey, welcome to my$10 million home. And this, it's just, there's a guy that's really big. I cannot mention his name. I won't mention his name. He's really big on YouTube.

1:52:08He's got 2 million subscribers. And I remember about three, four, about four years ago, he lived in town, but he also was a roommate of a friend of mine who lived in town. And my friend was very wealthy. And this guy was living as a paying tenant, as a roommate. And he walked through my friend's home going, I created all this wealth that I live in, and this is my home, and I created all of this. But none of it was his. It was somebody else's home that he was living in. And my friend said, he won't even pay his rent in the house. So I think we're at a place in the world, I think we're getting to a place where people are starting to wake up between a lot of things we see online are just people fabricating things.

1:52:54I mean, the Kardashians and all these kind of people, it's all fabricated nonsense, and it's not real life. And where I work from is just be authentic as you possibly can. Just be you. Some will like, some won't like, and that's okay. I think that's a good in-between point. Yeah, I agree. I would challenge the belief that the why, the why of not documenting refraining from the home i wouldn't say you would need to show your home to make more impact um but what i would say and just from this conversation today is i would say and you're going to see how we capture this yeah and i'm i hope one takeaway from this is you see how well you can be captured and how potentially way much more impact you're going to be able to make when we capture you in the right way thank you i appreciate that i because i think i think just just quickly is like even just when we went on that little break before and you're like oh we should we should give them some takeaways i'm like there's a lot of takeaways yeah so much profound stuff and um and i think we capture this in the right way we can capture more feeling as i said before we press record, we can capture more feeling through storytelling and education.

1:54:16People then can apply your lessons and then, you know, the spiral goes down and down and down and they can make the impact. And it's an interesting thing. It's not about showing all the fancy things, but I think being able to capture more feeling and however that looks is quite a powerful frame. And, um, and, and yeah, I think, uh, even just in this conversation, um, it's gotta be one of my favorites and i'm um obviously there's a lot of history i've i've consumed a lot of your content there's been a lot of things we spoke about very few of what i've written down here but i kind of love that because it happens that way i think the way i wanted and i i don't even i never even have this many notes in a podcast i just had so many things and that's why this could go for eight hours um and i just think i think there's so many key takeaways here but if we kind of overarchingly touch on subconscious reprogramming.

1:55:09And, you know, typically you would go on a podcast and they would go, okay, what do you do? And then you explain it here. And a lot of my guests get surprised because they might be an expert in something and we don't touch on it until 90 minutes in. And obviously the emphasis on the whole conversation is identity, subconscious reprogramming. What are the stories that you're telling yourself about yourself? Why certain things like rah-rah motivation is not serving that identity. It's not actually fixing the problems that you have in your life. Problems is even a subjective term, right? It's not even serving you saying that.

1:55:41But I think overarchingly, if there's people that are in a bit of a rut, you know, we talked about this really negative loop where they're, you know, in the job they don't like, they're escaping it through the social media, the alcohol, the drugs, and making their reality even worse. And then they're kind of just going down this cycle. and they listen to things like this and they go, I really want to change. Do you have any advice for people like this on where they can start to help reprogram that identity and that subconscious? The practical, let's go practical first, is we do it all day long already.

1:56:14And that is your self-talk and your self-talk is your stories. What do you say to yourself when you talk to yourself? Because what you say to yourself when you talk to yourself, you may or may not know.

1:56:29I guess you just left the planet a few years ago, but what did Muhammad Ali always used to say? One phrase.

1:56:38I should know. Your generation might not know that, but I thought you might know. I definitely would know. It's lost me there. Muhammad Ali used to constantly say, I'm the greatest fighter who ever lived. I'm the greatest fighter who ever lived. What we say to ourself, literally, we imprint. It's neural pathways in the brain. Whatever we say to ourself and talk to ourself about, we say it enough times, it becomes a habit. I grew up with the habit of we can't afford, we can't afford, we can't afford. That colored my entire reality, okay? When we say things like, no one likes me, or why would anyone listen to me, or I'm so fat.

1:57:15There's a phrase, and it's in the PDF, the coaching PDF, but there's a lot of stuff in there. It's on week number six on choice, and it says we speak our lives into existence. um khalil gibran the poet said that your words are nothing more than drippings from your mind what we speak and we speak with repetition is what we become muhammad ali i'm the greatest fighter who ever lived so the more we say something to ourself the more we literally literally program our subconscious mind but the more we also create neural pathways in the brain These neural pathways are like little pathways in the brain.

1:57:56And each time we do, like we can go through the path one time, a little bitty neural pathway. We go through it again, it becomes deeper. We go down the path again, it becomes deeper. So that what we say to ourself, we say it literally almost unconsciously. We say it habitually and we become that self-talk. We've got to learn to manage the self-talk is the number one thing. That right there is literally self-reprogramming. It's called autogenesis, autosuggestion. So manage your self-talk. Survey what you say to yourself when you talk to yourself. Pay attention to that. And even if you don't believe your new self-talk, you keep saying it, you're going to reprogram the brain to believe that.

1:58:34This is why people that tell lies, you've seen people, you're like, why do they keep lying? But they believe their own lie because they tell their lies so many times they believe the lie. We fool the brain. We program the brain by the repetition. Yeah. And I think one thing to add on top of that is the thing that's really served me really well this year is this filtering of thoughts and understanding that these facts that we believe to be true are actually just interpretations. Interpretations, correct. And those interpretations are making up your environment and your life, and they're dictating the way that you feel and everything.

1:59:13And so when we can understand that there's very, very few facts in this world, I remember you tried, can you fill a hand with facts, actual facts? Yeah. And you can't really. Yeah. And so that there implies that it's all just interpreted. Life is interpretation. And so everything that you are seeing is all interpreted. So when you think you have a belief, and a great example you used in the coaching is people make$100 ,000 a year and then they get to their new year and they write in their goals and they go, okay, what's my goal financially this year? I want to make$150 ,000. But the only reason they said that is because they made$100 ,000 last year and they think it's probably unrealistic to put 300, 500, 800 on that thing.

1:59:53So let's just put a little bit more. So they're working from their past, meaning in my past, I made 100. Now I can make 150, but they're working through more, better, different, meaning I just want a little more, a little better, a little different, as opposed to what if I transform my thinking entirely? What could I create in my life? Yeah. And the way that this has been so freeing for me is it's allowed me to remove these imaginary ceilings that we place in our life. It's all made up. I have to add this so I don't forget. I don't miss it. And everyone listening, write this down if you're not driving.

2:00:22You're never at the mercy of your circumstances. You're always at the mercy of your interpretations. Yeah. Think about that. Because we look at our circumstances and say, I can't because we work by circumstance. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough energy and I don't have money. Those are all interpretations also. But we are a victim of the interpretations. interpretations so what i look at is okay i'm interpreting i don't have i don't i don't do that at this point in my life i'm interpreting i don't have enough money how do i create it what do i do what how do i become more resourceful to create the outcomes that i want to create interpretations we did a whole week on it and coaching with you are vital because everyone's living their model of reality through their interpretations and if i'm not getting what i want in life i've got to change my interpretations.

2:01:10Yeah. And the more you change your interpretations, the less facts you believe. Well, I even ask myself a lot of times I will say to myself, okay, what am I making up in my mind? And I'll say, what are my interpretations? And then I'll even say, what are the facts? On my team, my operations manager a couple of years ago, she was a phenomenal operations manager. She said, oh, somebody that we were affiliating with did A, A, B, C, D, E, F, and G. And she didn't like it. And I said, well, what are the facts? What are the interpretations? I want to see what's real before we take any action on anything.

2:01:48Because we tend to react from our interpretations, boom, just like that. We get emotionally reactive based upon the interpretations. And I want to back up and say, what is real? Because like you said, and it's also in the homework, there are very few facts in the world. You're going to leave the planet physically, but there are very few facts. most everything in life is an interpretation by your brain. I want to commend you. I, uh, I, I actually truly believe that you've changed my life a lot. And, um, it's a lot. And like, I think the lessons and the value I've learned from you, even if it was just a gateway into my life and into the things that I took ownership and learned on my own and, and was very introspective and took these things that the the perspective that you opened in my life has allowed me to be a much better friend a much better person for my family it's given me so much drive it's switched my life from a very scarce upbringing to a very abundant outlook and for that I can't thank you enough because I think there's this this element in me that allows me the the abundance outlook that I've been able to developed through your teachings has enabled me to show up.

2:03:06And I think it's enabled me to really rub off a positive energy to people and hopefully lead it in a way that inspires other people to lead themselves and take action and live lives that they truly want. And I truly believe that a lot of the stuff I'm saying today and contributing today, it wouldn't have happened if I didn't start doing that stuff with you. I see that in your messaging. When I see you on social media. I'm like, did he get this from me? Or because you're a really smart guy. But I'm like, I see me in you with what you're doing now. And people, the amount of lives I've helped change, I don't change any lives.

2:03:44I simply am the mentor and the guide. It's the person that does the work. People have said, Jim, I could never pay you back for the life you helped me create. How can I pay you back? And well, number one, you paid for coaching, you know, and coaching. but I'll say the way to pay me back is what I've done for you. You go do for someone else. I've helped make your life better, pay it forward and go make someone else's life better. Why? My most important thing that I do on the planet is impact. Money doesn't matter. It's the impact. And if I can impact you and you impact a hundred of you and a hundred of you, meaning like other influencers and they impact others, it's a ripple.

2:04:24And I work from a high tide raises all ships. So we all do better by, this is how I finish every transformational coaching call. We live in a very tumultuous, very crazy world right now. The world needs us. It needs you, Chris. It needs me. It needs the people doing our work. People like you and I, we do what we can to make the world a better place. We raise the tide and everyone gets to live a better life. And that's what I want for everyone on the planet. And for that, I say, let's go. That is great. and I'm grateful for you. I think this was awesome. I loved it. And is there anything you want to say before we conclude?

2:05:06Anything you want to promote? Anything cool you've got exciting? If anyone's not sick of our voices yet, we're two hours in. I know, but that's okay. People that want to listen will listen. If they want to get on my waitlist, then go to jimfortin.com slash Chris. It goes right back to you. It ties you in. But jimfortin.com slash Chris and you get on the waitlist for the next transformational coaching program, which you've been through. I did you, I worked with you one-to-one. I've only worked one-to-one like four or five people in a year, but group, we generally will have anywhere from four to 800 people in the group.

2:05:38And it's the same work, the same PDFs you went through, but we do it in a group format. So that'd be jimfortin.com slash Chris. I'll leave all of that in the show notes and the description below so you guys can go and check that out. I surely in this conversation, you've been able to understand the impact and all i can say um is if you are in a spot where you think your mind is your enemy you think it's holding you back you think you're in a spot where you don't really know this thing that springs you out of bed in the morning i actually think it it it's it's rooted in this deep down subconscious level and the most freeing feeling is the feelings that I've been having this year and applying all of the stuff that I've been learning this year.

2:06:28And admittedly, there's been a lot of change. I've made more money than I've ever made in my life. There's finally, it's this year of, you know, since I first started listening to you when I was just turned 17, like I've been redlining since then. I've not stopped. And I've been extremely uncomfortable and it's been extremely challenging, lonely, isolating, uncertain. and this is the first year where things have really fruited and everything's and so there's a lot of things that have fell on this year but i just look at all of the work that i've done and i just went there's actually no point living without going through all the challenge and i love the stoicism approaches of like the obstacle is the way the the the hard time is the only way forward and i that's how we learn yeah and i think um that level of even introspection that level of peace that you've been able to help me achieve is something I encourage everyone to go.

2:07:24So go and check it out. I'll leave all of Jim's details in the show notes description below. Go and follow him on Instagram. We're going to be doing some collaboration posts and I want to help promote this message and I want to help get your message out there. So thank you guys so much. And if you've made it this far, screenshot this and please, and tag us in your Instagram stories, Jim and I just to let us know you've made it to the end so we can thank you. It really does mean the world. And if you leave us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple podcasts, it will truly help the show grow. And it helps us keep getting awesome people just like Jim back on the show.

2:07:58We're going to have to do a round two at some point, but we're going to sign out for this episode, but we'll see you guys very, very soon. Thank you guys for letting me be a part of your life. Thank you, Chris. I'm honored to know you. I'm glad to know you. I'm looking forward to building a, you're going to be a bigger powerhouse than you recognize. I can already see that in you. And I'm glad to be part of your journey, but mainly I'm honored and blessed to be part of your journey and people listening today. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you very much, my friend. I see you. Avatar Fire and Ash is now streaming on Disney+.

2:08:31It's the film critics are calling the best Avatar yet. A true epic and completely jaw-dropping. This is the only pure Everything in this world. Return to Pandora on Disney+. It will be an adventure for the whole family. And watch the Oscar-winning phenomenon at home. This is sick! Avatar Fire and Ash. Now streaming on Disney+. Rated PG-13.