Scott’s Early Career Advice, How Dating Apps Are Making You Lonelier, and Navigating Conflict With Business Partners

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1:56Scott Galloway:Welcome to Office Hours with Prop G. This is the part of the show where we answer your questions about business, big tech, entrepreneurship, and whatever else is on your mind. If you'd like to submit a question for next time, you can send a voice recording to officehoursofprop2media.com. Again, that's officehoursofprop2media.com, or post your question on the Scott Galloway subreddit, and we just might feature it in our next episode. Our first question comes from Rachel Sarecki on LinkedIn. Rachel says, I'm an upcoming college graduate. What would you do differently when you first started your career?

2:23Scott Galloway:Any advice for navigating early career life? Huh. What your first job most likely will be is something you hate. And that is young kind of or first time jobs are usually shitty jobs, usually doing all the work that people who have some power don't want to do. So if you find yourself, if you wake up and think, wow, I don't love this, that's probably where you should be. What do you want in your first job? You want a place where you're going to learn not only skills, but learn what you like and don't like. One of the biggest blessings, greatest things I got from Morgan Stanley was one, an attention to detail.

2:57Scott Galloway:It was an incredibly abusive environment. And I don't, I mean, I quite frankly think that was good for me. It kind of toughened me up. A lot of guardrails. You had to show up in a tie. You had to be well-prepared. I would read prospectuses backwards to try and find the difference if I'd said base rental payments, apostrophe S or S apostrophe, and then go back through the document. This was before AI. And it was incredibly taxing and stressful, but I kind of needed a swift kick in the ass. And also the brand itself and the platform, I think obviously helped me for the rest of my life and helped me get into business school.

3:33Scott Galloway:And I was around really talented people. So what do you want to do in your first job. You want to find a place where you can learn, ideally, a good platform or brand. I think the office is a feature, not a bug. I would really, really advise against doing remote work. When you're young, you need to find friends, mentors, and mates. One in three relationships begins at work, and HR people hate that, but show me an HR person who's putting in all these strict policies around dating. I'll show you someone who found his wife at work. So get into the office, try and get to a good platform. If you're working, try and go somewhere that'll let you run flat out.

4:12Scott Galloway:One of the things I did, and this sounds strange and you can do this now or they wouldn't let you, I wasn't as skilled as the other 87 analysts in the class of 89 at Morgan Stanley. They all went to Ivy Leagues. They were better educated than me, not because UCLA wasn't a great education, but because I see above 2.27, I didn't really do much. So I thought, okay, what is my advantage? I don't have a girlfriend. I don't have dogs. I'm living at home. I didn't even have a lot of friends at that point because most of my friends had scattered. Every Tuesday morning, I'd go in at 9 a.m. and I would stay till 6 p.m.

4:44Scott Galloway:the following Wednesday because I wanted to send a signal that I was here to play. And unfortunately, Morgan Stanley was the kind of abusive behavior where they sort of rewarded that. I think they used to give us a clean white shirt the next morning. At the end of the year, they'd line up all the analysts and count how many white shirts or how many of them had pulled all-nighters. But it was important for me. I was what I'll call, despite having shitty grades, I was physically strong. I rode cruise, so I felt like I knew how to push my limits. So what did I did that was smart? I got into a good platform.

5:18Scott Galloway:I worked my ass off. I was very focused on work. I took down the alcohol and the pot intake for a couple of years. And I just sort of wanted to show that I was here to play. because the sad truth of your career is that people say, oh, enjoy your 20s and have fun. Anyone who tells you to do that is already fucking rich. Unfortunately, in a capitalist society, your 20s sort of dictate your trajectory into your 30s and 40s and your ability to kind of get to the right positions in your 30s and 40s to really then aggregate influence and economic security are somewhat a function of the trajectory or the scale or the velocity you establish in your 20s.

5:56Scott Galloway:The metaphor I would use is a projectile or a rocket getting into space. And that is the majority of the fuel expectorated in a launch vehicle, whether it's a Falcon Heavy rocket or Saturn rockets or whatever, it's in the first few miles. The lower orbit is soupy. It is really hard to get traction right out of school. So you want to burn a lot of fuel. What does that mean? You want to work really fucking hard. You want to try really hard. You want to invest in relationships, be seen as a good ally, do shit work, have a great attitude, just be curious, you know, just try and be the most pleasant, hardworking version of yourself, if you will, right out of school.

6:36Scott Galloway:The other thing I would suggest is that you try and find mentors, ask people out for coffee, develop a kitchen cabinet of people who advise you. When you ask people for help and they say yes, they become emotionally invested in your success. The most loyal or patriotic Americans are veterans. Why? Because they've invested so much in America. And my first boss, this guy, Carter Cordner, I used to constantly be in his office asking for advice. And he started taking me to UCLA basketball games. And he took a shine to me. I think he may be one of the few reasons I wasn't fired. I was not very good at that job.

7:08Scott Galloway:But he really liked me and was invested in my success, wrote my letters to rec. And I really invested in the relationship, if you will. So So this is a time to work your ass off, find a platform where ideally it's a good brand, where you're going to learn a lot. Absolutely get into the office, try and invest in relationships and also just realize it's a soupy atmosphere and you're going to burn a lot of fuel. You need to try really hard and work really hard. And also forgive yourself if you don't like what you're doing. That's a gift. I figured out almost right away I was not cut out to be an investment banker.

7:40Scott Galloway:And that's a gift, too, because I realized what I didn't want to do. But that's fine. in your 20s is for workshopping, not only finding what you like to do, but what you don't like to do. Now, having said that, give everything at least two or three years. Try really hard. Show up. Be on time. And the objective in your 20s is not to find your passion. It's to find something you could be good slash great at. And so every job you're in, think, OK, could I be in the top 10 percent of whatever it is I'm doing within, say, five years? And could I be in the top 1 percent in a decade? Because if you're in the top 10 percent of something, you're going to make a really good living at it.

8:12Scott Galloway:And if you're in the top 1%, you're going to get prestige, relevance, camaraderie that will make you passionate about whatever that thing is. So that's my advice. But I think the key thing is invest a ton of relationships early, work hard, be nice, be supportive of your peers. I was too fucking competitive and too jealous of my peers, so immature, should have invested more in their success and tried to establish stronger relationships and also recognize if you don't love your job and it's hard, that's exactly where you should be. And, you know, realize that it's just as much about figuring out what you don't want to do is what you want to do.

8:51Scott Galloway:Oh my God, that was a word salad. Thanks for the question. Question number two comes from Pour Me a Jarber on Reddit. Pour Me a Jarber. They ask, Hi, Scott, you've been one of the clearest voices calling out the damaged social media platforms have done to society, especially young people. But I haven't heard the same level of criticism toward dating apps. It seems these platforms have had an equally corrosive impact on expectations of the opposite sex and how money and status get signaled through a screen. Do you think dating apps have been just as reckless in contributing to loneliness and social withdrawal?

9:22Scott Galloway:Should they be included in the same resistant, unsubscribed category? And if not, why do they get a pass? Super interesting question. All right, so just some data. About a third of U.S. adults say they've used a dating app. Among young people, it's closer to half. Men significantly outnumber women. It's about 60%. By the way, the ultimate dating app where it flips is college. It's 60-40 female to male. Some data from our newsletter, No Mercy to Mouse, unhinged the top 10 % of men, received 60 % of the likes. For women, it's 45%. So again, more of that Porsche polygamy. On the internet, everyone has access to everyone, and the digitization of the market results in.

9:57Scott Galloway:I already said that. So part of the resistant unsubscribe movement is sort of this Genghis and Khan. Is it Genghis and Khan? I'm going to Genghis and Khan. But he basically went after he would go after a single city, kill all the dudes, rape all the women, burn the place down and then point to the next city and say, we're about to do the same thing here. Or you can just lay down your weapons and we're actually fairly decent people. Join our army. There doesn't need to be any bloodshed. But you went after one city at a time. And what I'm actually thinking about with the resistance I'm subscribed is narrowing it down to a smaller number of targets, maybe even just one target in March.

10:27Scott Galloway:Kind of go Genghis on them. Go GK on them. Anyways, dating apps, yeah, I don't think they should be unresistant and unsubscribed because they don't have a market cap big enough. But essentially, the digitization of any environment or any market creates a win or take most environment. You digitize retail, then you end up with one company, Amazon, who through great execution and access to cheap capital, gets 50 % of all online commerce. Same thing's happened in dating, except more on the supply side. What do I mean by that? But essentially, when everyone has access to everyone and it becomes digitized, then everybody wants the same people, especially women who are more choosy.

11:07Scott Galloway:The basic anthropological incentives are the following. Men want to spread. Men have millions of sperm. Women have one egg. So men feel it's their job to spread their seed to the four corners of the earth. We're just much less choosy and, quite frankly, hornier. Women are put up a much finer screen to pick the smartest, fastest, and strongest feed. That's why your kids will likely be smarter and taller than you. Now, how does millions of seed get through this much finer screen? Typically, it's been work, friends, religious institutions, school where people meet. Those used to be the top places for people to connect.

11:40Scott Galloway:And one of the keys to those environments was that people had a chance, specifically men had a chance to demonstrate excellence. The difference was back in the olden days, until the dating apps took over, men had venues to demonstrate excellence. Women say, well, I didn't like him at first, but I liked how kind he was to his parents. I liked his hands. I liked the way he danced. He had wonderful friends. He was really funny. They got a chance to demonstrate excellence over time. With dating apps, you don't really have a chance to demonstrate excellence. It's been distilled down to a small number of observable digital criteria.

12:12Scott Galloway:What's happened with dating apps is that the choosiness versus lack of choosiness has gone crazy. and the stat is, and I hate the incel movement that 80 % of women want the same 20 % of men, but there's some truth to the notion that most of the women will all be attracted to the same men. And unfortunately, it's kind of a few basic things. It's sort of height and perceived resources. So I hate this term, but people use it, six feet, six figures. When you see all these women being interviewed about dating, they say, well, at a minimum, six feet, six figures. Because six feet, if you will, or height is measurable.

12:48Scott Galloway:Height was an issue when I was younger and mating, but it wasn't the issue it is now. Online dating has taught people to think, okay, here's a distillable, analytical, measurable metric height. And then your money, where you went to school, the watch that's accidentally, the Rolex that actually slips into your profile, where you live. But over time, men got to demonstrate excellence in person. Now those venues who are demonstrating excellence, people aren't going to school as much, remote work. They're not going to religious institutions. Men ages 20 to 30 are spending less time outdoors than prison inmates.

13:23Scott Galloway:So the dating apps have really – what have they done? They have aggregated currency to the most attractive. And in some, if you're a dude on a dating app, if you're in the top 10 percent of attractiveness, it's fucking disco, right? You can have a date every night. which unfortunately doesn't lead to good long-term behavior or investing in long-term relationships because you kind of think, why should I? I think generally for women, it's just shittier, a little bit shittier all around. And the bottom 90 % of men end up just very discouraged and unfortunately start developing kind of misogynistic tendencies because they hold women accountable for their rejection or their lack of self-esteem because they don't have a place to demonstrate excellence.

14:05Scott Galloway:And also there's generally a rule of threes that I apply to some of the young men I coach. And that is, if you want to be in the top 5 % of men in terms of attractiveness, you need to do only three things, especially young men. Work out at least three times a week, work at least 30 hours a week outside of the home, and put yourself in the agency of strangers in the company of doing something bigger than yourself at least three times a month. That puts you no shit in the top 5%. And if you're in the top 5 % long enough, you're going to find a potential mate or really interesting friend. So what has online dating done.

14:36Scott Galloway:It has consolidated the market. It's been great for the top, and it's been really harsh on the bottom 90. But I don't think in terms of resistant unsubscribe, I want to go after whatever it is. Is it Flutter? No, that's a gaming one. Match.com. They're just not worth it. They're not worth as much. Me going after dating sites. I don't know. I think they're a bigger game to go to fell, if you will, or to go after. But the digitization of the dating market has become a winner-take-most attribute, similar to the way America is being run. And I think it has really been harmful to most young people who are very discouraged, especially the bottom 90 of men.

15:11Scott Galloway:But also, it sort of leads men to give up on dating. Supposedly, about 62 % of men under the age of 30 aren't even trying to date. And I fucking hate the incel movement. You're not an incel. You're a V-cell. You're voluntarily celibate. The majority of men through 99 % of history have been involuntarily celibate. Yeah, you got to level up. There's very few things men would rather be doing than having sex. OK, but you've got to earn it. You've got to work out. You have to have a plan. You have to be nice. You have to persevere. You have to have resilience. You need to put on a fucking clean shirt, smell nice, groom, and then put yourself in the company of strangers where you can take risks and realize if someone's not interested in you and you're polite and excuse yourself, you're both going to be fine.

15:52Scott Galloway:Right. And so instead, they give up, start blaming immigrants for their economic problems, start blaming women for their romantic problems, and they become, quote, unquote, incels like it's a badge of honor. No, it's not, brother. No, it's not. The majority of us have been incels. But you know what we do? We fucking level up. And men in America today have more agency than men have had through 99 % of history. Throughout history, 80 % of women have reproduced and only 40 % of men. The natural state of being in the mating market throughout history is Porsche polygamy. And that is a small number of men through inheritance or exceptional talent aggregate a lot of influence and power and have multiple sexual partners.

16:31Scott Galloway:And the bottom half of men have none. So what do we do to level up people? We need more third places. We need to put more money in the pockets of young people. And also young people, especially men, recognize the dating apps are not the dating world. and that if you're not successful on dating apps, don't get too discouraged. Find real world places where you can meet people and demonstrate excellence and level up. You have more agency. Only 40 % of men have reproduced through history. In America, it's 80 % of women. That hasn't changed, but it's 75 % of men. So all you have to do if you're interested in having a family, which supposedly is the number one priority for men on the right, is be in the top three quarters.

17:15Scott Galloway:And you know how you end up in the lower quarter? You give up. And you start resenting people for your fucking problems. No, boss, you're not involuntarily celibate. You're voluntarily celibate. Welcome to the fucking work week. Level up.

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20:36Scott Galloway:Welcome back. On to our final question, which comes from Tate and Stormy on Instagram. How should I approach a business partner that I feel is taking on too many other projects? Have you experienced this? I have always started businesses with partners. I travel a lot for business. And inevitably, wherever I'm somewhere amazing, I'll be in Paris. I used to work with LVMH or advise them and Clarence and Chanel. Well, inevitably, if I'm alone, I end up getting upgraded to the presidential suite with a view of the Eiffel Tower. And when I'm in a hotel alone in some amazing place, if I'm not with someone, it's like it didn't happen.

21:10Scott Galloway:And so building businesses with other people, it's just very rewarding. It's like building a life with someone else. It doesn't really happen. I remember from the age of 20 to 30, I just didn't have very many people in my life. And then when my mom died, I felt like when anything good happened to me, it didn't really happen because there was no one to celebrate. with. So I really enjoy building businesses with partners. Now, what you need to do is just have very fluid, open, respectful communication. I've typically started businesses with people that I like or could be friends with, and I have started business with friends because the first thing you have to bring to a partnership is generosity.

21:48Scott Galloway:Because at some point, you'll be adding more value than your partner, or they'll be adding more value than you. And if you're constantly measuring each other's contribution and arguing with each other, There's nothing that tears down a great small business like the partners feuding. That can just kill a business. So if your partner is working on too many things at once, what I would suggest is you're open and honest and say, look, in a small business, we need to be snipers here. It's got to be a sniper rifle, not a buckshot. It has to be the specific crowds out there general. One of the key advantages of a small company is it can be so focused on such a small niche you can just own it.

22:22Scott Galloway:But at L2, we were competing against McKinsey. And I'm not exaggerating. We were beating them because we benchmark the digital footprint of prestige brands. That is just what we do. That's all we do. We don't do anything else. We're not going to do your supply chain. We're not going to do Gaddafi's PR. I mean, whatever else McKinsey does. We're not going to figure out the right shipping routes or if you should acquire a company. We're about, OK, Vitan, how does your Instagram and your mobile and your e-commerce measure up against Bottega, Veneta, or whoever they perceive as their competition. So focus is super important.