Marina and Richard's Worst Ever Ideas

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1:22Hello, and welcome to episode 50 of The Rest is Entertainment. This is the questions edition. Questions and answers edition. And I'm Marina Hyde. And I'm Richard Osman. Such a quick study. such 50 times I need to get that right. Is it only 50? I literally am used to doing that sort of thing in a day. Listen, get back to me when it's in the thousands. Yeah, okay. Okay. Have you got a question for me? Oh, yeah, I do. Do you know what? I asked you to come and get me please to our listeners to ask us about top threes and they've come. There's a lot, but I'm going to give one for you and you can do one for me later.

1:56This is from Matic Bow and Matic says, would you be able to list your top three film stars under 35? I think this is off the back of talking about the people we consider film stars are aging up a bit I will talk about the ones that I think are the biggest and why they are there is no question for me at number one has to be Timothee Chalamet you're supposed to start at number three no no I want to start at number one okay great well let's do that okay I'm starting at number one 50th show folks I'm starting at number one because I want to do a bit more than three oh do you messing around you know the almost rounds I mean, honestly, the format bit of me is just silently weeping.

2:34I know, and you're just tolerating me. But listen, number one, Richard, is Timothee Chalamet. There's no question, okay, this person can open a movie. I have to say that I can't quite see the kind of huge sex appeal, but that's because I'm old and I have officially aged out of the fancying Timothee Chalamet phase. But there's no question that young people want to go to the cinema and see him. He had the top two movies at one point of the last sort of eight months, which were Wonka and June 2 and that had not happened since the early 80s it was John Travolta number two is Zendaya I think she's extraordinary the way she's come up the way she's kind of broken out of that Disney thing she's changed in lots of interesting roles but she also does blockbuster stuff she's definitely number two for me although it's tight because it's almost like second and third equal there were some people I thought about it's interesting what people say to you what about the Stranger Things kids and you're like yeah they're the Stranger Things kids they cannot open a movie I've seen one movie with it.

3:30Finn Wolfhard, what's the one? He's Mike in Stranger Things. He's in Ghostbusters Frozen Empire, which I suffered my way through. Oh, is it not good? Okay, breaking Ghostbusters Frozen Empire is very bad. I know. And then there are people like Jenna Ortega, who's only actually been in quite small movies. I think she might be a bit difficult as an actress, which I rather like, because I don't have to work with her. And she may bring that to her work. And she's obviously massive in Wednesday. Florence Pugh, interesting. Tom Holland, very sweet. Jennifer Lawrence as well. I mean, I assume she's probably about 33, 34.

4:01She's under 35 anyway. Is she? People like Jennifer Lawrence and Tom Holland, if you take them out of their franchises, the IP is the big star in a way. And then what is a Jennifer Lawrence movie or a Tom Holland movie, maybe when they're not in those, it is pretty hit and miss and sometimes more miss than hit. So I can't include those. Margot Robbie. Oh, of course. When you watch Barbie, she is an absolute movie star. She got that made. She's a producer as well. She's got all that sort of behind-the-scenes power. So those would be my top three under 35. I'm not going to say something like Millie Bobby Brown because I love the character of Eleven in Stranger Things and she's very good at that.

4:38But do I care about these Enola Holmes movies? No, it's like a TV thing. I don't think you can go to the movies and see that. But she's got her brands and all those other things. She's going to become one of those multi-hyphenates that's got makeup and clothes and stuff like that. But movie stars, Chalamet, Zendaya, Margot Robbie, it's pretty tight between those two. but I think Zendaya might sort of, I mean, maybe I've got those last two in the wrong order. That was a long answer. It's a good answer, though. You see why top threes are fun. You know what? It was fine when I got over the hump. It was actually fine.

5:06Honestly, it actually looked like you were enjoying yourself. Yeah, no, you're right. I didn't hate it. Exactly. What are you doing to me? My opinion. Yeah, actually, I do have an opinion as to whether Zendaya or Margot Robbie is a bigger movie star, actually. But also, everyone on their dog walk would be going, no, come on. No, I don't know. Salome, Robbie, Robbie, every day of the week, they'll be saying. Here's one for you, following your excellent Have I Got News For You appearance recently. Have I Got News For You Legals? Tom Keighley would like to know, I saw Richard's recent appearance on Have I Got News For You and was wondering, are there BBC lawyers who specifically cover the show, especially with regular Ian Hislop being the most sued man in Britain?

5:44Yes, there are. There definitely are. But I mean, there's lawyers for all shows. But I mean, there's lawyers for pointless, you know, everything is lawyered. Everything goes through that compliance and lawyer process. But something like Have I Got News For You, the unusual thing about that is they will be there on the night because that gets edited overnight to go on the next day. So a lawyer will be in the gallery with the crew and everything that's said, the lawyer will be going, that's going to be an issue, that's going to be an issue. and at the end you get to re-record things. You do them as pick-ups.

6:19You do them as pick-ups, exactly that. And that's where the famous Angus Dayton allegedly came from. Well, it created a thing that people think is a legal get-out, which, by the way, don't just say any old rubbish on Twitter and then just write allegedly, because it's not, by the way, it's not a get-out, but it was really good the way they did that because it was such a, there are ways, I know when I'm writing things, where you can say exactly the same thing, One in the way that will get past the law and one won't. But it was so good that they created it and it became funny in and of itself. A very specific instance in the show that I was on where Ian and Ruth Davison were talking about Paula Vennels.

6:54Yeah. Because it was that week. The post office CEO who was appearing in front of the inquiry that week. Yes, exactly. Former post office CEO. Listen, she may come back. They'll rule it out. That'd be ahead of a comeback, wouldn't it? Never say never again. What would have to happen between now and Christmas for her to go back? I think a lot of people in the UK would have to actually be killed in a free cash event and there would be no postal system. They were talking about Paula Vennels and it was brilliant. And one of the lovely things about being on that show is if Ian really goes on a, I was going to say a rant, and it's not a rant, but he was absolutely...

7:28No, a tear. He was going on a tear up. And they were talking about Paula Vennels and talking about her performance in the Inquiry and talking about her complicity in some of the things that happened. And it was great. It was really, really good. and it was kept in, I think, almost entirely. But then at the end, Phil Wang, who was the host because Amol Rajan wasn't able to host it because of the election, had to do, I can't remember what it was, but a form of words that said, Paula Venels has said X, Y and Z. Yeah, you run the denial. Yes, exactly that, exactly that. So they were able to keep the whole thing in so long as you say.

8:00But that's because Ian, as somebody who is very sued, is so skilled at legaling things into the show. Yes. In real time. as opposed to, you know, a lawyer with the best will in the world. Well, sometimes there's certain types of lawyers. I've always loved being lawyered by newspaper lawyers who want to get things into the paper, as opposed to ones who will just say, take the whole thing out. And you say, well, there must be some way it can work. And that's what happens with the Vigrant News for You as well. That's the understanding. That's the contract, really. It's like, help us out here, rather than...

8:30Because normally on a show, we're just saying, lose this, lose this, lose this. Anything that might even vaguely be actionable, you'll lose. But on that show, the lawyer does, you know, obviously there's disagreements, but the Lloyd will work with them and try and find a solution to keep something in the show. That's brilliant. I have to say, I think it would be so counterproductive to sue that show now, even though that doesn't mean you don't have David Lloyd. But you just know that if you do sue, and most likely they would have to read out an apology or whatever it is, and the BBC would have to pay them some money, and maybe the politician would have 15 minutes of crowing that they'd be, have I got news for you?

9:03But no, they would not be the ultimate winner, because you just know they would then be in every single week and they'd become the new hate figure or whatever it is. So I think in a way, just the sheer longevity and the sheer thing of the show that you think, yeah, you'd have one good headline and then all the rest would be bad. So I think they're slightly insulated by that. Thank you, Tom. Okay, Marina, Margarita has a question. Margarita says, I would like to know, what is the criteria for choosing sports commentators? With Nick Kyrgios being announced as a new BBC pundit, this has made me question who is taking these decisions.

9:35Okay, Margarita, I think you're going to hate me. Is this because he's very, very badly behaved on court sometimes and on social media and various other... I mean, anyway, he can be, I think. If we're on an insidery type of a show, let me let you into a little inside secret about tennis. It's not really a sport. Buckle up, everybody. It's not like a pastime, like lawn bowls, right? It's a game. Tennis? Yeah. It needs great commentary. Okay, McEnroe. If it didn't have McEnroe, if John McEnroe was a commentator in any other sport, If he's a commentator in football, he would be the best commentator in the entire world because it would be the meeting of man and form.

10:10But as it is, and also you're dealing with, I mean, you know, you're dealing with a crowd at something like Wimbledon who would honestly rather applaud a pigeon. They love it when a pigeon goes on than the tennis. Just to let listeners know, at the end of whatever this is, I will pick her up on a number of points. Can I just say, though, if anyone is thinking of sending in a death threat, our lovely producer, Neil, opens all the emails first. could you just put death threat fao marina hyde neil don't open please yeah so that it comes directly to me and he doesn't have to see that stuff re-tennis re-tennis um kyrgios is also one of my favorite things a tennis bad boy the stakes are so low in tennis there was one time in the u.s open where he got in trouble because of the underside of his collar it it had been put up and it said like you do you and he was like shouting this on the television i'm not going going to play until you show me the rule because the umpire said no that this against the rules you've got to put your collar down show me the rule i want to see the rule i've seen shirts worse okay that's what you get in tennis like it's a bad shirt these this is the level of transgression it's really easy to be a tennis bad boy on jayagasy he was a tennis bad boy he he lost the french open because he was worried his wig might fall off yeah um i'm gonna ask you about tennis one second i will say this every every single sports producer ever their entire life of course you're covering the sports and you have your commentators and the one thing you're always looking out for is people who are interesting in interview and people having a unique take on the game and sometimes you'll get players during the tournament you'll bring them up to the commentary box you might bring them up for the radio just to chat a bit and you start spotting talent so that's how by a large house sports producers find their who doesn't necessarily give that much of a shit about what they say on air and that is what you're looking for well you want someone who's an incredible analyst yeah definitely want that you want someone who absolutely can tell you exactly what's going on and how a player is feeling.

11:59And there you want someone who can add a bit of colour as well, someone who won't be boring, someone who, as you say, is not afraid of being controversial. And not calling out people who they know. You know, it happens in football and the competitors have all got to see each other and they've all got to see the players and you have to be able to say, OK, I said something quite harsh about you, but not totally sort of clubbable and I can be critical. Yeah, exactly. To sit alongside Tim Henman. I think it's fair to say that Nick Harris can be critical. Yeah, I think he can. I'm so sorry to on our 50th episode to bring this up I think tennis is a sport I think it is, I think it's very athletic I think it's very competitive I think the best player tends to win, I think you can get better at it, I think there are lots of different formats of it, but that's sport Yes What's the difference between a sport and a game?

12:48Okay Wow, I mean That's a whole podcast, that's 50 podcasts but okay that is 50 podcasts. That's another 50 podcasts. See I think lawn bowls is a sport so. Do you? Yeah well if darts is a sport then bowls is a sport. I have a problem I mean I also love darts but if you can have a pint while you're doing it. You can have a pint when you're playing football if you really want to. While you're on the pitch. Yeah but they don't have a pint anymore. Okay yeah but you can. Whenever they nip off they literally they down so many. The one thing about darts I've been backstage at darts tournaments and now they're not allowed to drink anymore.

13:19They've got them lined up. They nip off they absolutely hammer it. They need to get the same amount in that they would have got if they were allowed to have it on the telly. But yeah, I think that tennis is a sport. Okay, well, let's talk more about this in Wimbledon and I'll produce specific examples. But obviously, some of the greatest sportsmen that we've witnessed, Roger Federer. I mean, I love tennis. I've watched huge amounts of it in my life and I go to Wimbledon every year and I absolutely love it. Why did you just call Roger Federer a sportsman? Because he perfected the form. Of what?

13:48Tennis. But a sportsman? He's not a gamesman. Yeah, it's... your honour I arrest my case that's like the end scene of a Jack Nicholson is tennis as good as sport as cricket come on then is it as good as sport as cricket don't be ridiculous don't be absolutely ridiculous well I think probably that's something that people hold on top three sports at one point I'd be very happy if anyone's got questions about sports as formats I have very strong opinions on that tennis I have a strong opinion on cricket I've got a really strong opinion can we please have questions about that as they kind of come into our summer schedules, we'd love those.

14:24I think it's a good question. I always, whenever people are being interviewed, this is always the thing to look out for. If you're a football fan, rugby fan, tennis fan, whatever, watch the players being interviewed and you can see the ones who are giving a little bit more. You can see the ones who don't want to be there. You can see the ones who the media trainer has just said, just say this. And you can see the ones who want to engage. And they're the ones that the agents look out for and the producers look out for. And it's fascinating when their sort of commentary style is so different to maybe the way they played.

14:50I mean, Boycott, another person you probably didn't think ought to be booked as a commentator. But it was so remorselessly dull watching him play. And yet he was by far the most interesting commentator. It's like, look at something like Michael Richards. It's amazing how at the end of a career, if you've got it, if you've got that star quality, then suddenly you're on and you're booked on stuff. And that's what producers are always looking for, just that bit of star quality. We talked more on this than I thought we were going to. Yeah, sorry, we've already gone on. Thank you, thank you, Margarita.

15:21Anyway, more summer sports questions, please. Shall we now have a break, Richard? Come on, then. Eczema isn't always obvious, but it's real. And so is the relief from EBCLIS. After an initial dosing phase, about 4 in 10 people taking EBCLIS achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin at 16 weeks. And most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing. EBCLIS, LibriKizumab, LBKZ. A 250 milligram per 2 milliliter injection is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema.

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17:23Welcome back now Richard we're going to go straight into a top three top three taskmaster Samantha Jo asks can I have your top three taskmaster tasks please you certainly can Samantha well not mine in fact I thought what I did instead I was on Taskmaster many years ago, and I keep in touch with Andy Devonshire, who's the exec producer. It's literally like a full-time job, Taskmaster. When I was on, it was like a second series. I always want to know. Five episodes, but they are non-stop. Is it the whole week? How many weeks? When you're on it, it's not too bad. But for Andy and for the gang and for Alex, it never stops.

17:59It's one of those really high-maintenance things. Like crazy. And they go around the world. Now they're doing a live experience of it. Wow. So I said to Andy, what are your favourite three Taskmaster tasks? Because he's the one who's sitting there with the headphones on. He sees all five people come in and do the tasks. He sees every single unedited version of it. So I asked him, I thought, great, Andy will send me back his top three. And it caused him so much pain, this question. He said, I wish you would ask me which of my children I like best. He said, this is impossible for me because I love the show so much and I love all the people who've been on it.

18:33But he narrowed it down. so number three he was talking about he loves the ones where you get to film stuff with the contestants where they have to create something me and john richardson did a um did a joint task where we had to do a stop motion film with potatoes it's brilliant yeah we did 28 days well that's not one of andy's favorite three uh but he says he loves doing those things and he's in season nine uh we talked about season one roisin and and romesh doing the film something that we can play backwards. Oh, God, that's brilliant. Rosie did a brilliant Thirsty Wolf and Romis did his Tree Wizard.

19:10But his favourite one of those was Rosie Jones' Chickpea Funeral from Series 9. So he's gone with that as number three, which is an absolute cracker. Number two, talking about how brilliant Alex Horne is and how underappreciated Alex Horne is. And even though he's really appreciated, he's still underappreciated because he's such a genius behind all of the tasks. and coming up with them, which is amazing. But then he also, he will do anything to make that task work. And it's fascinating, that show, because so many shows on TV are choreographed in some way. Like, let's, we'll choreograph the comedy of this.

19:49We'll do this and we'll do that. Taskmaster really isn't. So Taskmaster, you'll have an idea. Sometimes it's an immediate thing. Sometimes, you know, like doing the films, you need to get a few props together, so you sit and chat with Andy and say, I'd quite like to do this. I'd quite like to do that. And one of the main things you want to do is, can I get Alex involved in some way? And Andy says, Alex never, ever, ever says no. He said, if it's going to help the task, if it's going to make it funny, Alex will always play the fool guy, every single time. And that's incredible, given his status on that show, and given that he goes around the world doing that show, he will literally put himself in the worst positions possible.

20:28So his number two was series six, and the task was show your love for the taskmaster. Lisa Tarbuck made Alex go into the shed and sit down on a cake with his bare bottom and Alex dropped his trousers. Andy said, he said, I had microphones on. He said, I can still hear the squelch now. He said, literally, a profiterol disappeared. He said, it disappeared. but not only is it testament to how brilliant Lisa Tarbuck is, just that thing of Alex just kind of, someone saying I want you to pull your trousers down and sit on this cake, which is so demeaning and so absurd and so ridiculous but Alex knows that that's the show and does it brilliantly and he was saying the camera angles we had to work out just before he sits on the cake as well were quite something.

21:20Wow. He's the ultimate good sport. Yeah, I mean he really, really is. so that's his number two and his number one was from one of the recent ones, season 16 and it was a group task Sue Perkins and Susan Wacoma I think did half of it and Lucy Beaumont Sam Campbell who I absolutely love and I love all of these and Julian Clary and it's when they turned the Taskmaster house into a hotel and Alex checks in and has lots of demands and essentially they have to make him happy Andy was saying the thing with that is so often Taskmaster it's sort of like a panel show but you've got these different comedians and sometimes all these different skill sets and all these different schticks all come together just in this ridiculous kind of glorious mess of television and you know when it all comes together like that it's like you know it's his dream so the symphony his top three Rosie's Chickpea Funeral Alex Sitting on a Cake and the season 16 Hotel Tasker is top three it's so endlessly creative it gets better and better it's extraordinary And as we discovered the other day, the most left-leaning television programme in Britain in terms of the viewers.

22:26Yes. One for you, Marina. Matthew Dalladay Simpson. Good name. All right, Jane Austen. He asks, after your discussion of Coppola's new film the other week, what are your dream projects? He has some criteria. It needs to be expensive, ambitious or left field and needs to have a 75 % chance of being a flop. Can do. Okay, can do. I love this. I really got into the idea of the flop. and I was thinking for, I went down a real wrong rabbit hole because we'd been talking about the Fall Guy and things like that, thinking I want to do the Knight Rider movie. I know I can do it. I know I can find the chemistry between him and the car and I'm going to really mess it up by making him a woman or something.

23:03Just messing up with the original format. But then I thought, no. I remembered that when I was doing research for the superhero TV series, that lots of people have talked about the Bible as a franchise. I was like, yeah, no, I'm going to sit. okay, it's all free, the IP. It's all free. It's not copyrighted. So mine is the Bible, a franchise, right? I'm going to have Peter Jackson do, I'm going to appointing directors. Peter Jackson does the Old Testament. Nolan does the New Testament. Oh, I like that. Guy Ritchie can do the Book of Revelations, which he's also predicted in. And I'm going to release them all.

23:43I was thinking I'm going to do them all on the same day. And I thought, why am I? why aren't I doing what Kevin Costner's doing? I'm trying to really make a flop here. I'm definitely trying to make a flop here. I'm going to do what Kevin Costner's doing in real life this summer and I'm going to release the New Testament on one day and then six weeks later when that half of the turkey is really rancid, I'm going to flop down the next rancid half of the turkey in the form of the Nolan-directed New Testament and once we get for a Christmas special or something, Guy Ritchie's Book of Revelation. I would do New Testament first and then pitch the Old Testament as a prequel a prequel, yeah, that's right do you think Nolan would go first?

24:23to be a hit, Timothee Chalamet is Jesus, right? but we need something that has a 75 % chance of being a flop so who plays Jesus? this is the trouble, Richard I can only think of very rude things to say who would be the worst Jesus? by the way, you can have a great actor but just someone you think I don't particularly want to see them as Jesus like Bradley Cooper, for example it's very, very good I'm not sure I'd want to see his Jesus. What about Ryan Gosling's Jesus but played as Ken? He plays Jesus. He's playing that role every time. He's playing it in the Fall Guide. He can play it again as Jesus.

24:53He can play Jesus as the Ken stroke Colt Seavers and now Messiah role. So Christopher Nolan's Bible with Ryan Gosling as Jesus. Well, Christopher Nolan's New Testament. Don't cut Jackson out because he's going to want equal billing with Nolan. Whether he'll get it or not is another matter. That's a really good idea. I mean, isn't that the point of all of this? Because otherwise Gosling's not going to sign up And actually, I'll tell you what, when Will Smith had this idea of a big franchise movie, which I think was called something like Earth 2000, I'm going to get this bit wrong. But I think I've talked about this before.