Taylor Swift On House of Games?

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1:24Hello and welcome to this edition of the Restless Entertainment Questions Edition. And? Answers, Questions. And I'm Marina Hyde. There we go. And I'm Richard Osmond. Welcome to the Questions and Answers Edition. You are still in Corfu. I am. And it's still, yep, another day in paradise. Great opening. Getting better every week. Very well done, everybody. Shall I just go straight and then ask you a question? Please do, Richard. I have a question from Christina Mailer. if a celebrity is cast as a guest star in a tv show is the character written for them or would the character already be written and a celebrity would be found to match ah it's a good one sometimes you might write it that they're going to do a guest thing and you and you would end up collaborating more with the actor in fact one of the really interesting things is that say they're just doing a one episode thing and they're doing a cameo for one episode they will have a lot to say as we've discussed many times on this they know their characters very well very quickly and the script if it's a TV show, will probably go through a few drafts after they've come on board because you'll want to talk to them and they'll see something you haven't seen.

2:26And you'll definitely incorporate that into the script. In general, the casting agent would find an actor to match what's been written, but that will still be adapted, as I say. But I have to say something about the writing process. I think it's really helpful. And a lot of people, when they're advising people, when they're starting out writing characters, write with someone in mind. There's something about it, having a very clear idea of an actor when you're writing, that makes it sort of to hear. And I don't know if you do feel that in your books, Richard, if you have a sort of mind's eye person.

2:54Yeah, I don't massively, just because that's not how my imagination works, really. I get the vibe of people. Funnily enough, we just started writing the play for Thirsty Murder Club. And on that, I do have a couple of actors in mind for that. And they're sort of, they're slightly in my head, not what would they be like, but more, I want to write these lines so brilliantly that they will enjoy saying them. Knowing that someone is going to say it, knowing something you admire is going to say it. So wanting to impress them, wanting them to pick up that script and go, oh yeah, this is a great line.

3:25Well, you're in a position where they'll probably do it, you see. So you probably are writing for your mind's eye person. Well, we shall see. But in terms of the idea of being a celebrity and being a guest on a show, I've done it a couple of times and I think it's illustrative of the different ways you can go about it. So one time I was on Charlie Brooker's A Touch of Cloth, his brilliant cop spoof on Sky, which I think is still available to watch. if you haven't seen it it's so good it's like naked gun or airplane yeah for um for for cop shows by the way i think they're remaking naked gun as well we talked about reboots on yes tuesday i think naked gun they're doing seth mcfarland's doing but i digress there was a retrospectively problematic elephant element in problematic elephant problematic element in naked gun and they can doj it in the new version if you can turn that bucks fizz into a champagne you'll be fine So I did that and they had a telethon on TV and I came on and I juggled grapefruit.

4:19Essentially, all it was in the script is, and now Richard Osmond from Pointless juggles grapefruit, right? So that's all in the script. Now, if they ring me and say, would you like to do this? And I say, it's not for me. You can swap me out. Absolutely. The easiest thing you can possibly do because any celebrity could possibly get something they could do on a telethon. Put them in. Anyone can juggle grapefruit. I mean, who can't? Well, to be fair, it wasn't, can you juggle grapefruit? Yes, I can. is is there anything you can do and I said well I can juggle yeah and so I juggled grapefruit which looks like anybody else juggling tennis balls so on that they know they want a celebrity for the joke but they can absolutely they can transfer out the celebrity and put anyone in but then uh I did Lee Matt's not going out and in that there was a whole episode where he and Katie Wicks who plays Daisy were appearing on Pointless and the entire plot line was about them appearing on that show and what happens afterwards so on that even before they start writing they came to me and zander and to the people at pointless and said can we use pointless would you guys be interested in doing it could we use the set could we come along and do it obviously we all said yes i love lee and i love that show so we said yes and therefore they write the whole thing and the whole thing is filmed around when we're filming pointless so the set is all in so with that that has to be six months nine months ahead you have to get those permissions but for a lot of things if you can just be sort of if it could be me or claudia winkelman or chico then you can just you can ring up the day before well it should be said i haven't seen those episodes i'm sure you're brilliant at playing yourself but a lot of celebrities are terrible at playing themselves i mean there are some like i love lucy guest spots which has got all the sort of stars trooping through of the various decades which they're absolutely awful at playing themselves i was really bad i mean really when i'm doing the juggling it's okay so i don't have any lines i I just had to concentrate on juggling.

6:11But yeah, when I was doing Not Going Out, it's so fascinating because I cannot act in any way whatsoever. I've spoken about this before. I can't do it. I just don't know what it is that people are doing. And on that, I was literally just being me. And I'm thinking, well, not any of that, but part of it was literally being me and co-presenting Pointless, which I've done a lot. And so I'm literally saying exactly the same things I would say if I was presenting Pointless, but I am then incapable of actually saying them normally. what is that about acting it is really odd people really can't do it and they have actors I've spoken to some actors about doing this when you play a version of yourself and they say this is so embarrassing I had more takes doing that than I've had ever ever on a set for anything else shall I tell you somebody who was a celebrity guest star in a series and is unbelievably brilliant at playing themselves was Salman Rushdie on Kirby Enthusiasm oh my god it's an epic series But he's just brilliant.

7:06Timing is perfect. I mean, he's really, really got it. But yeah, if you'd had me on Kirby Enthusiasm, they'd have had to reshoot the whole thing. Five years between seasons. Exactly. But yeah, it's always nice to be asked to be on shows that you love. I've got a question for you, Richard, from Caitlin Hogan, who says, I have recently become a big fan of Formula One, particularly the foul-mouthed Japanese driver Yuki Tsunoda. That is a wrong opinion, Caitlin, but moving on. She says, how are the snippets of driver to garage radio selected and what is the time delay do you think drivers deliberately try to say funny or controversial things to get their clip aired god i definitely would so so the driver radio is essentially the pit wall talking to the driver and there's all sorts of things they're talking about you know how are your tires telling them how far behind or ahead various people are they're talking about the strategies so they're an important thing to have and yes obviously the the broadcasters have access to that feed i don't know all the details of this so i asked somebody who did, who is the wonderful Tom Clarkson, host of the official F1 podcast, Beyond the Grid.

8:06And this is what Tom said in answer to Caitlin's question. That's a great question. And yes, Yuki is renowned for his bad language. In fact, he was recently fined$20 ,000 for using an offensive term over the airwaves. But every driver uses the radio during a race, mainly to tell the pits how the car is performing and to discuss strategy. Anything that's said over the radio can be broadcast, so the drivers often use it to persuade race control and the powers that be to give another driver a penalty. He pushed me off the track, that kind of thing. One of my favourite radio messages came from Mark Webber at the 2007 Japanese Grand Prix.

8:46He was suffering from a bout of food poisoning at the time and came on the radio to say this, I'm being sick in the car, but I'll see how I go. That, while everyone in Europe was having their breakfast. Amazing. Tom, thank you so much. That's the Beyond the Grid podcast that Tom does. Oh, that's good. So I guess everything is recorded, but nothing is sort of going out live. You would always sort of cut to it if you had to. There was a wonderful Grand Prix a couple of weeks ago when Lando Norris was constantly being told to pull over and let Oscar Piastri through. And it was a brilliant soap opera because Norris did not want to let him through.

9:25he knew he had to, for various reasons at the start of the race he knew that Piastri deserved to win the race so Lando, you have to pull over at some point and let Oscar through but Oscar couldn't catch up with him and he kept going yeah Lando, if you just let Oscar through in the next lap or so that's great, and Lando would go, tell him to catch up to me and they're like um, okay Lando understood, understood, and next lap they go, yeah we're just thinking Lando it'd be great if you could just in the next couple of laps if you could and like silence from Lando he's not saying anything and then they kept bringing in more and more senior people from the team and they're going yeah sorry it's your chief engineer here Lando really really just think it's probably for the best mate if you pull over and you know and Lando's going I don't know and then like literally the boss of the team is coming and saying yeah Lando pull over at which point Lando goes okay I'll pull over but it was such a great it's such a great soap opera.

10:25But that's one of the lovely things about sport. I mean, Formula One, because you can't see the people. We've talked before, they've got helmets on, so you don't have that connection. But actually, when you can hear them talking, it's usually absolutely fascinating. I loved what Tom said there about how they know that the authorities are listening, so they will try and get other drivers fined, which you see all the time. Anytime there's an accident, both of them come and go, I can't believe what Max just did. Did you see Lewis? I can't believe it. That's Max Verstappen. Did I say I can't act? Yeah, you should hear as Richard Osman, but anyone fining a Formula One driver£20 ,000 a swearing, that's like fining anyone else 1p.

11:01Okay, so the swear box is 1p. So I think they all do it because these are not big penalties. So then, to me, it'd be quite horrific. Did I pick up when you were asking the question that you weren't a fan of Yuki Tsunoda? The strange, annoying boy child. No, I'm not. I find him very, very axiom, I'm afraid. He seems to have been frozen at the exact point. His presumably very rich father put him into a Formula One car. You know, sometimes I cannot predict the things you will and won't have an opinion on sometimes. I did not think you would feel strongly about Yuki Tsunoda. I've watched way too much Drive to Survive, as you know, way too much.

11:31And I have an opinion on always every possible detail about it. Marina, Stephen Jaggard has a question for you. That's a good name. Yeah. What happened to VoiceOver Man, that deep American style, as most movie trailers no longer seem to have a voiceover? That guy was called Don LaFontaine. People nicknamed him Thunder Throat. And he did absolutely thousands of movie trailers. And almost all trailers actually had this kind of narrative voiceover. And he died in 2008. He had a pneumothorax linked, and you can probably tell from the voice, to long-term smoking. He just had that incredible voice. But he was a fantastic guy, I think.

12:08And he did a lot of stuff, and he did lots of free ones for people. But it became parodied, weirdly, you know, in a world. He coined the expression. He had quite a lot of control over his scripts, I think. And he coined that sort of phrase that began so many of them, in a world, which I've done very badly because I'm not Thunder Throat. In a world. Yeah, that's much better. But it became sort of parodied, particularly that phrase, to the point where I think that it sort of died with him in a way, that particular idea of narrative voiceovers, portrayalers, because if you've heard it so many times and it's been parodied so many times, then what you risk is the audience thinking, hang on am i watching a comedy here and it's not it's a very serious you know movie in a world where something happens you do still very occasionally get it in a comedy trailer but in general narrative voiceovers have kind of disappeared there was a guy called mark elliott who did all the disney and so that's a real sort of voice of people's childhood and there was a there was a uk guy wasn't there there's the uk version of don lafontaine is a super cool guy called Red Pepper.

13:10And Red Pepper was a tube driver, London tube driver. And in the 90s or something, a TV executive is on a train and just hears this tube driver saying, you know, the next station is Kensington. And mind the gap, ladies and gentlemen, mind the gap. And Red Pepper himself said, I was aware of the power of my voice. I used to say, this is your train driver speaking. Or is it? He said, I just have fun with it. And a TV executive heard him, went to the cab and said, you've got to come and do voiceovers. And very quickly, Red Pepper left the London Underground and became the biggest voiceover artist in the UK.

13:45He came on Pointless Celebrity, he did like a voice special, and he was a super cool dude. You know, you often hear people with those voices that work perfectly as voiceovers. We had a guy on Pointless once, years ago, and he was a student, I think, he was only 21, and he had just this unbelievable velvety voice. And when he introduced himself, Zanda just said, do you do voiceovers? And the guy goes, no. And he goes, well, you should. And the guy literally signed up with a voiceover agency and got a load of work from it. Oh, that's terrific. Because sometimes you just hear a voice that has that quality that you just think, oh.

14:19And we've all heard someone grab the mic in a sort of public address system way and just thinking, oh, please not a comedy tube driver. Maybe they're all auditioning now because they know that Red Pepper kind of managed to make it out and have this amazing voiceover career. but I have to say I haven't heard anyone that I thought you should be doing this professionally but I hadn't thought it it's interesting yeah there aren't we don't really get there's no voiceovers on trailers anymore it is all it's just text narrative voiceovers have gone and you know back in the day there was I'm trying to think the alien one where it's just like the heartbeat or sometimes it's just the breathing but those were very hyper stylized things and they were unusual in general that sort of died with Don LaFontaine and that whole way of doing it has been superseded I guess as people become more literate about how trailers can be it's just a genre and now that seems old-fashioned and if you heard it you'd think it was old-fashioned yeah and potentially a comedy and now it's just sort of elfin singer-songwriters covering Leonard Cohen songs yeah between explosions yes I'm up for that you still get lots and lots of those voiceover voices on adverts do you not yes you do Marina speaking of which oh we need to go to an advert.

15:30That's good. Sorry, I see what you've done and I see what I was supposed to do and failed to do. Yes, speaking of which, Richard, should we go to an advert? Yeah, let's. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to-do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person, on the phone or using the award-winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. At Sierra, discover top workout gear at incredible prices, which might lead to another discovery.

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17:23Welcome back, everybody. And I love this question. And it's got to be for you, Richard. David Miller says, I was listening to your discussion of Tories in the media post-election, and I have a question. Is there such a thing as a booking that is too big? For instance, Richard, if you received a call from Taylor Swift saying she loves House of Games and is willing to drop everything to come on, is that a great day for you? Or is someone of House superstardom too much of a burden would she change the dynamic too much would having her be too disruptive god i love that that's gosh okay let's uh let's think about it taylor swift wants to come on house of games firstly if you're listening taylor you're very welcome um okay is this such a thing as a booking that is too big i suspect not let's assume as a thought experiment that taylor swift is coming on house of games now that's not a booking that's come from her pr people and saying i'll tell you what you need Taylor a bit more publicity when you go on House of Games this will really up your profile so the only reason Taylor Swift is coming on House of Games is because Taylor Swift loves watching House of Games I can imagine you know maybe she'd say I'll go and do a special Taskmaster or something because I love I love watching clips of Taskmaster I love watching House of Games of course I'll come on so Taylor Swift says she'll come on two things I'd be very nervous about who else was on you would want great book you would want really good bookings you would say to to Lorraine who does all the bookings on House of Games I think we need at the very least a member of the cast of Ghosts on because Taylor is on we need an Olympian, we need someone who's done something, you know this is We've established she has no peer group you're not sitting there saying, look should we try and get Beyonce because just say Taylor's doing it, you can both go on together Yeah, save Beyonce for the Christmas special So I think we have to assume that Taylor would want to be on the show and enjoys the show and if she does come on the show, then it just becomes a slightly different flavour.

19:13Now, the one thing with any celebrity booking, you know, if you look at I'm a Celebrity or any of those shows, week one, you know who the most famous people are, who the biggest bookings are, the ones that people are excited about. You go, oh my God, they've got Jerry Hall, whatever it is, these sort of big names. Within about three days, people who love that show do not care who the biggest bookings are. However important you are, however big you are, you become subsumed into the show. the show's format becomes bigger than who's famous. Almost always the very, very expensive booking, you know, the one that's designed to get all the headlines in the week book, will just fall away to someone who's on almost one of the lowest fees.

19:52I mean, that guy from Made in Chelsea, Sam, he would have been on one of the lowest fees. And obviously Farage, Nigel Farage, was off the biggest fee and just sort of fell away. So exactly that. Fans of the show understand the ecosystem of a show. And weirdly, the star has to fit inside it. So I would think even on House of Games, listen, people would definitely pay attention if Taylor Swift was on House of Games. You know, I absolutely get that with Steve Pemberton and Josie Darby. But I think by Tuesday, people would go, oh, my God, she was great on Where's Kazakhstan, wasn't she? But she cannot do this code round.

20:26She can't do it at all. And, you know, I would have a few things to talk to her about for sure. Occasionally you get a contestant on House of Games who is not a quizzer but has had an interesting life. and so you just think, for you, I'm going to treat it as a chat show. So whenever we've got a question, I'm just going to talk to you about stuff. I think I could handle Taylor Swift being on House of Games. That's how I'm going to conclude. You would love it. Oh, can you imagine? It would be such a huge deal. It would be absolutely hilarious. You'd be doing interviews about it for weeks. Honestly, sometimes you get people on.

20:57Funnily enough, I've mentioned people from Ghosts. If you have, like, Lawrence Rickard or Jim Howick from Ghosts on, the entire studio is so excited. Everyone is, like, thrilled. and I suspect it would be a bit like that with Taylor Swift. I suspect that maybe a few more of the kids of the crew might pop in and see their parents on that day. But yeah, everyone would be thrilled. But yeah, honestly, by show two, we'd still be going, oh God, we're five minutes behind schedule. Oh, there's a problem with wardrobe, that's annoying. And you very quickly, a show is like a stately galleon. Nobody's bigger than the show, nor even Taylor.

21:34nobody's bigger than the house of games listen let's experimentally let's try it if taylor's people honestly let's uh let's get her on i think that's such a good question though that's great because obviously graham norton you put everyone on the best thing on graham norton is seeing huge hollywood stars and someone from eight out of ten cats you think oh that's yes that's quite fun um i have to think about what seat i put her in because that's a that's a big deal on house of games thinking about and that's just like a dinner party for me i work at who's in seat one seat two seat three and seat four i wouldn't have her next to me because you know that's so that's front loading too much i wouldn't have her in seat four i don't think i think maybe i think maybe taylor would be a seat tour you've done half the work i really hope they ring in yeah that would be great come on taylor that's such a good question though but yeah i i think that if someone wants to come on a show they will never be too big for it because they will embrace it and they will enjoy it and they will understand the rules and understand the feeling of the show if someone is booked on a show by their pr often they can be too big or too disruptive for a show but if someone has chosen to come on a show it doesn't matter how famous they are they will have fun and the show will have fun with them i think look forward to seeing what the the daily express headline is on that i have a question for you from benjamin myers i wonder if it's the wonderful novelist Benjamin Myers.

22:54I hope so. I think the novelist Benjamin Myers might ask a different question for this, but I could be wrong. I've noticed while watching British police procedural documentaries such as Channel 4's Excellent 24 Hours in Police Custody, one of the best shows on TV, that's me, not Benjamin, although I suspect he agrees, that whenever someone is shown being held in a police cell following arrest, the toilet is always blacked out. I have noticed that. Unless all British police cell toilets have black perspex parallegrams as lids, I can't think of any reasonable explanation as to why the programme makers do this.

23:24Could someone perhaps please shed some light on this modern mystery? Well, it's actually a very simple answer, Benjamin. It's the CCTV. That is what it looks like on the CCTV to even the custody staff. There have been a few cases, actually. This is the formal guidance. You must always pixelate. And so even the custody staff are seeing a pixelated version. And there were a couple of every now and then there's a case where a force has failed to pixelate the loos in one of their cells. And it actually becomes the subject of a formal inquiry. You're not actually supposed to do it. So that's the feed they're getting.

23:59The idea of like loos on TV in any way is quite interesting. In America, there was this whole thing. It was like regarded for a long time as it was really for taste. And it was sort of obscene to show a loo on TV. And they had this thing called Standards and Practices, which was basically the censorship bureau. And Leave It to Beaver in 1957, That's the first time that it shows a bathroom that only shows the cistern. Because even then... That's the least of leave it to beavers problems, isn't it? Well, I agree in retrospect. But the first flush sound aired was on All in the Family in the 1970s.

24:36Wow. And I would love to know the UK version. I sort of slightly feel that you might have seen Bathroom in one of those kind of play for today kitchen sink dramas. I said maybe even one of those kind of angry young men playwright written ones those great years in the BBC but if anyone knows when the first loo was shown on British TV I would love to find out when that is because whilst you might find lots of humour related to it in later decades it's an odd sort of piece of primness that has persisted. Step two and son had flushes didn't it I'm sure. I think so. In the episode where they where they divide their whole flat I'm sure there's I'm sure there's flushing.

25:12And I wonder if there's anything earlier. But anyway, it would be interesting to know. So if anyone happens to know, sorry, you are now being required to write in with the answers. But thanks. But that 24 hours in police custody, so that's exactly it. Because, of course, when we're watching it, we think we're watching the TV feed. We think we're watching the edit. But actually what we're watching is the genuine CCTV from those cells. And, of course, that CCTV, at some point someone will need to go to the toilet. Yeah. And so it's constantly blacked out. and so that's the feed we take. Got to pixelate your toilet.

25:44Yeah. Always sell it. Okay, Richard. Sean Freeman says, Richard, football, do commentators get paid a flat rate or are they paid more if a game goes to extra time or penalties? Genuinely, I love the minds of our listeners. It's such a good question, isn't it? It will not shock you to learn that no, you are paid a flat rate. Otherwise, like during the commentary, they'd be desperate for one team to equalise because they're building a conservatory. and they're just absolutely desperate for penalties. Commentators would love penalties if they were getting paid time and a half, wouldn't they? Well, you've got the maximum leverage, haven't you?

26:19I'm not going any further unless you do me a deal right now for the next half hour. No, I'm not going any further. I'm not saying anything more. That is your moment of maximum possible leverage, but therefore they probably don't expose themselves to it in terms of contractual negotiations. That's the absolute key from BBC Sport. They're thinking we mustn't leave ourselves in a position where with four seconds we've got to decide whether to double the pay of Alan Green. In fact, Rich Wolfenden, the BBC Final Score reporter, he said commentators get a flat rate regardless if a game goes to penalties or it's a standard 90 minutes.

26:52If a game is called off or abandoned for any reason, ching-ching, they still get the full rate. Do you know what? That's the joy, isn't it? When something's called off and you still get paid. By that stage, they would have probably travelled all the way there, if you think about it, how these games are covered. so the 90 minutes is often the least of it. They're like, I'm already in Burnley. I wish you'd told me before. That's such a... Listen, I've never thought of it before. And equally, you know, if you commentate on volleyball, which takes forever, I think you're just still getting a flat rate, I assume.

27:26I love the commentators out at the Olympics who suddenly become experts in beach volleyball and archery and kayaking. But that's what it's like when you're covering them. As a reporter, if you're covering them or if you're writing about the sports pages in any way about it, it's so stressful, you know, because the UK was often good at really weird things. And if you ask them to do cover the dressage or whatever because we're suddenly doing really well in it, they're like, is it meant to do that, the horse? I don't know. And you have to sound like an expert. And it's such a ridiculous sort of suspension of disbelief is that the person who is reading it thinks, I've read all her other stuff.

28:01She's got absolutely no clue about Greco-Roman wrestling. I was always lucky because I could say, yeah, I've come to the Greco-Roman wrestling and I don't know what is actually happening here. But anyway, here's an account of that. So I could write a sort of colour piece of not knowing. Yeah, I was watching the synchronised diving the other day and it's brilliant because they've got a synchronised diver as the co-commentator and they've got a regular commentator as the commentator. And they do these extraordinary kind of synchronised dives and it's the one time where the commentator will not talk.

28:29So the Chinese pair would sort of jump in and the co-commentator would go, that was extraordinary, what tightness, what lines? and the commentator go, yep, really, I mean, gosh, you could see it, couldn't you? And then equally, like, sort of, you know, the Australians would sort of dive in and it looked identical. And the co-commentator goes, ah, the symmetry was completely off, you can see. And the commentator's going, yep, they will not be happy with that. Well, I was going to say it. I was going to say it, yeah. Exactly what I was going to say. That and the gymnastics where you just have to go, okay, the person who knows what they're talking about, you just say something and then I'll do the commentator bit to go, real disappointment for the australians four years of training and just inches between them and a medal that bit i can do i can't do that was that any good i've written 30 versions of that down on a sheet before we start and i'm going to save them lightly adapted depending on what my co-commentator says i can just imagine the the commentator just staring into the eyes of the co-commentator as the dive goes on and just going just shrugging a tiny bit going huh huh What do we think?

29:33But again, you get your day rate, out your pop, and you have to cut your cloth accordingly. I think they do. There's such extraordinary commentators out there at the Olympics, but the funniest ones are always the generalists. Again, watching the kayaking, I'm getting a lot of information about these people, but I'm really waiting on the co-coms to tell me if that was a good turn. Was that a good kayak? I don't know. Great kayaking there. The co-commentator's nodding. Really amazing kayaking there. That is, whoa. what a kayak that'll be me thank you very much for that uh question sean i know we moved on to other sports as well but you'll forgive us i'm sure that's uh our time is up can you believe it yeah i'm looking forward to seeing you in person next week are you making a rare visit leave it out leave it out i'll be back in the uk be so lovely to have you back with us i'm so relaxed that i will just not i won't even react to that but yes now do keep your questions coming in the address is the rested entertainment at gmail.com thank you marina and thank you everyone for listening and we'll see you next tuesday see you next tuesday