Would Coldplay Win Eurovision?

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0:09Richard Osman:Yeah, it's like the first time you ever go on a show and you say, oh, I could have some sparkling water. And then like forever, it's like, oh, you have to have sparkling water. You must have sparkling water. It's very, very important. And that's what we call the rider. The rider. Right. In some cases, the rider didn't stay sort of practical for long. You know, it started as a wish list and then it sort of strayed into a kind of a hostage note from the ego. There was a point in JLo's ego where she was having like, you know, the white drapes, the white candles, the white absolutely everything, white flowers, white, you know, sofas, everything.

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0:43Richard Osman:And this is one of my absolute favourite things about Octopus Energy. If you ring them about anything, your number is recognised and you'll go through to a team who deals with you and have dealt with you before. So, yeah, you have a team, they recognise your number and you go through to people who you don't have to explain the same thing to 15 times. Legally, we can't say drinking Storm makes you smarter and more focused. But with zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine, and immunity support, you're smarter and more focused for drinking Storm. Storm. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.

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1:46Hello and welcome to this episode of the Restless Entertainment Questions and Answers Edition. I'm Marina Haid.

1:52Richard Osman:And I'm Richard Osman. Hello, everyone. Hello, Marina. Hello, Richard. How are you? I'm not bad. I think this whole episode last week, I said as a joke, let's call it Marina is wrong about the best Bond theme. But I was. And we've had an awful lot of people writing in. I'm not right. Richard, they're right. Oh, really, you've got a mayor cold. Should I tell you someone who wrote in and listen, lots of people wrote in and we really appreciate it. But you'll understand why I'm going to go into this gentleman first. David Arnold wrote in. don't say me i'm so sorry david arnold has composed five bond themes he composed the lana del rey track we talked about last week david's answer is this he said my favorite bond song isn't what i think is the best he starts with that he said my favorite as it was the first bond i saw in the cinema it's always the way is you only live twice written by uh john barry sung by the one and only nancy sinatra the best bond theme though according to david now this is controversial as well but i cannot mock him in the same way i'll mock you no because he's the great genius the best Bond theme is On Her Majesty's Secret Service which is an instrumental and that's David Arnold saying that you look like you want to argue but you can't No I don't I'm ashamed of my performance last week when I literally had a mind blank as to a loss of Bond themes Okay we'll get to yours as well Another thing that David says I think is interesting is that the White Stripes song Seven Nation Army was Jack Black's attempt at writing a Bond theme based on On Her Majesty's Secret Service I did not know that Did you know that?

3:17Richard Osman:We have to listen to both of those no I didn't know that so thank you David that's amazing and of course Jack Black eventually did write a Bond theme for Quantum of Solace which I would say not as catchy as Seven Nation Army but at least he did it so what's your what's your mea culpa okay I had a sort of mind blank forgive me I do the one I agree by the way that You Only Live Twice is up there in the midst I just think there's something about I do love all I mean maybe people don't like it so much anymore, but I love all the silhouettes of the women and there's something about that vocal which particularly lends itself to the sort of silhouettes and the, you know.

3:57Sure, sure.

3:57Richard Osman:Now David Arnold said it, yeah. No, I... Because you, it started because you were dissing Live and Let Die. That's where we started all this. Which I think is a brilliant song, but as I say, I just don't love it as a Bond, I don't love it because I love the song, I think it's great, but it's not to me a sort of quintessential Bond theme because I prefer the female vocal on a Bond theme. We cannot, called two episodes in a row. Marina was wrong. I don't care. Okay, right. So what is it that you did think you got wrong? I think Adele should be at number three with Skyfall, which I absolutely love.

4:30I love what Sam Mendes did with that film. I absolutely love it all and I think it was kind of modern and a bit of the same sort of thing and the huge, amazing singer managing to do something with something that we feel like we already know the conventions of. I might put You Only Live Twice as number one then. Okay, so number two is Goldfinger.

4:47Richard Osman:did you do number one before you did number two yes I did because you already knew I was going to maybe say it it doesn't matter I didn't know what as we've established I'm wrong about all of these things but Goldfinger Shirley Bassey there's something about that Goldfinger that I just think is maybe that is and it's almost it's such the sort of quintessential Bond theme in some ways okay and then suddenly just seconds after David Arnold says how much he loves you only live twice by the way he says it's not the Bond it's not the best no I know he says that but you're saying I'm not going to say he's incorrect.

5:17Richard Osman:So you're saying he's wrong. I've lost a chance to say anything about anything about these things. But yeah, those would be my... I don't know. I didn't want to play favourites with any of those three, to be perfectly honest. But those are the three, my three favourites. What about you? I don't say this often, but you are absolutely all over the place. Sorry about that. I mean, that is quite something. Well, listen, it doesn't matter what I think, because our listeners have been giving their opinion. We've been asking them to vote on the best ever Bond theme. So shall we do that? We'll start with, I'll do the whole top 10.

5:48Richard Osman:We've got Tide for 9th, No Time to Die, Billie Eilish, which you said last week was one of your favourites, and A View to a Kill, Duran Duran. They're both Tide 9th. 8th, We Have All the Time in the World, Louis Armstrong. Not an official Bond theme, but was at the end of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, which, in David Arnold's opinion, is the very, very best. 7th, You Know My Name, Chris Cornell from Casino Royale. No. Okay. um six this is even more controversial i would say uh golden eye tina turner again no fifth diamonds are forever shirley bassey fair enough bassey he's got to have out there fourth gold finger shirley bassey and by the way these top four get a lot more votes than uh than anyone else top three number three live and let die wings okay just listeners just so you know the scorn that I'm seeing from I love the song I just don't think it's a it's like a classic Bond theme okay number two nobody does it better Carly Simon but that's I love that song but that's not a classic Bond theme no hasn't even got it in the title but that's okay it's got the words in it spy he loved me is in the lyrics but it's not yes yeah number one with a I would say far above number two Skyfall Adele how about that so listen at least we are brought together a little bit towards the end of this absolute mess do you want to know what the worst bond theme is number 25 out of 25 what moonraker shirley bassy so there you go moonraker is that is bottom man with the golden gun thunderball die another day and another way to die are at the bottom there die another day dreadful now funnily enough we didn't actually poll on a majesty's secret service i think we polled we have all the time in the world for that so So David Arnold sits outside the list.

7:34Richard Osman:But so the best Bond theme is either Skyfall or Honor Majesty's Secret Service. And now we all have to listen to it and see if that's where Seven Nation Army came from. Listeners, thank you so much for that. There was a lot of chatter about that. So we had to do that poll. But it feels like everyone's agreed about Skyfall. And I'm happy because Live and Let Die and nobody does it better. My favourite two. And then number two and number three. That sort of was a question, wasn't it? Because you very much posed a question, which isn't. how wrong can I be how wrong can I be how wrong can I actually be and it turns out very very wrong indeed I was reading that all off the laptop which I'm going to give to producer Joey thank you Joey oh you almost appeared on camera there Joey people wouldn't believe he's like 7 foot 6 he's dwarfed it absolutely he played the mountain on Game of Thrones Joey I have a question for you Marina oh this is a fun one Alex Howarth says is there a name for the phenomenon where something is much more common on TV and film than in real life.

8:33Richard Osman:So people begin to believe that to be true. And if so, what are your favourite examples? Food poisoning, for example. My girlfriend is convinced happens to her weekly, despite my protests, that it's really not that common in real life. Gosh, okay. There's some psychodrama there. Yeah, there is some there. I don't think there is a name for it, although I actually started thinking about this before I came here today, and I realised that I would really quickly get to 100 examples of this, so I just sort of stopped. But you will all have your own ones of these, okay? so in no particular order mistaken identity okay this this is something because i suppose goes back to i don't know greek drama but yeah people tend not to make mistake people for other people people sort of putting the phone down and then a misunderstanding lingering and you just feel like no just call them back or just dial back again if they didn't pick up the phone just call back again something like that witnessing a murder by chance generally people don't witness murders and in general, all forms of...

9:31Richard Osman:That's like saying going to the moon though. Yeah. I think they make films about murder. They do, yes, they do. But criminal masterminds with elaborate schemes, really, really elaborate schemes, because obviously in real life crime is very sloppy and it's not really, you know, it's often financially motivated and, you know, impulsive. Amnesia for me is a big one. I think that doesn't happen nearly as much as it does in fiction. There's a lot of medical ones. Being unconscious for a really long time and then waking up and just sort of being fine, like, oh, hi, you know, I'm back in the room after.

10:03You would have a massive brain injury at that point. And it's just like it doesn't work like that. Enemies to lovers. Yeah. I don't think a lot of these things are just done to make stories work. And it's really interesting. It doesn't mean that people don't want to see those things because there's something very satisfying about enemies to lovers. and we love the kind of sparring. And then when they get together, we really like it, but I just don't think it happens that much in real life, I have to say. But people really, it's very, very fictionally satisfying. So you can see, but also conflict makes stories work and maybe that's the satisfaction of it all.

10:40But surprise evidence happening in court. Yes, people running into court. Yeah, any kind of gotcha evidence that happens in court. I mean, actually people crying and breaking down and completely contradicting their witness statement because of that. Also, once you're there, you tend to just in my experience and I've covered various court cases, people don't tend to kind of get broken down and fall to pieces and then just sort of confess to everything. They kind of stick with what they went with in their witness statement. We all know the cost of characters, flats and houses and all of those. someone on that brand people being able to afford things out of their income bracket is like beyond oh like the flats in Thursday Murder Club yeah oh my god the Thursday Murder Club I remember thinking I said to you when you sent me the first picture of them set I was like and that's Cooper's Chase is it then wow okay remind me to retire there

11:37Richard Osman:I mean with respect Spielberg couldn't afford the flats it's unbelievable remind me to retire to that Cooper's Chase Quicksand Quicksand is the number one from being kids yeah Yeah, we used to think about quicksand. When I was a child, and certainly when I was a teenager, I was scared of quicksand ghosts and getting toxic shot syndrome. I'm still nervous about quicksand now if I'm on an unfamiliar beach or just in boggy land. Because you do sort of think, oh, that could be it. I've seen it so many times. You've got to be so careful. But it's fallen out of, as a sort of trope of peril, it's gone because I think it became so ridiculous.

12:14Yeah, so ubiquitous. Yeah, it was so ubiquitous. But every sort of Saturday tea time show would have, Night Rider would have got caught in it. The 18 would have got caught in it.

12:23Richard Osman:But that's very close to what Alex is saying, which is things that genuinely affect your life in some way, which are purely because you've seen them on TV. By the way, I think perhaps, Alex, perhaps your partner does get food poisoning. I think it's hard to have something... I'm not a doctor and I don't even play one on TV. I don't think we should get into that. Yes, I think there are so many of these. you'll all be writing in the ones that you see i've got a couple yeah finding a parking space like right in front of somewhere yes i mean that's like i mean it literally never happens you never see somebody going to a multi-story car park and like going okay there's okay nothing on the ground floor okay it's got to the foot no there's nothing on there it's just just go all the way up to the roof yeah because there's every single floor will be full apart from the roof and there will be loads of spaces there but no they literally just park in front of yeah wherever they're going and turning on the TV just at the time that the thing that the film is about is being talked about on the news.

13:18Yes.

13:19Richard Osman:Like, you don't have to sit through, like, sort of, you know, three minutes on the war in Ukraine before you get... And in other news, a local businessman was murdered today. You switch on and it always... It's right there. It's immediately... It's always on demand. The first thing that's talked about. On narrative demand. Yes. And written in such a way that would never be on the news. Yes. But I think, I mean, it's very, very hard to look past quicksand. Yes. Perhaps younger listeners would think... It's completely fallen out of favour, as I say. But there are many of those things. And if I honestly, I just stopped after a little bit of time because there are so many.

13:54But you all have your own ones and I'm looking forward to hearing yours.

13:56Richard Osman:People who have the volume up on their phone. People who have alerts on their phone. Just so you know that a text has come through. Who's got their alerts on? My mum has, but they don't really... Okay, yeah, that makes sense. For definite. Yeah. Anyway, do write in and we'll, Alex, we will do some more of those next week as well, I think. Shall we go for a break? Yes. And after the break, I think we have questions on Strictly and Eurovision. Oh, yes. Okay. Very good. Let's go. Okay. Wow. You really mean it. Oh, my God, you love adverts. Yeah, I do. I love them.

14:38This episode is brought to you by Lloyds. Now, I love it when characters are part of a club. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Richard?

14:44Richard Osman:The Thursday Murder Club, in some ways, reminds me of the A-Team. I now would like to map each of those characters onto the A-Team and feel I probably could. I mean, Elizabeth is Hannibal and it's not even close. Yeah, that's exactly right. And Ron is howling mad Murdoch. While there are definite perks to being in a club, just ask the members of Club Lloyds. Because with Club Lloyds, you can bank on Lloyds to give you more wherever you are. If you join Club Lloyds, there's all sorts of benefits you can choose between. There's, for example, six free cinema tickets. They've got an annual coffee club and gourmet society membership, which would be mine.

15:15Richard Osman:And also something that the Thursday Motor Club would enjoy very, very much indeed. To top it all off, you have fee-free spending abroad, which means wherever you are, you won't be charged by Lloyds to use your debit card when you're travelling. Now, joining this club costs£5 per month, but that is refunded in any month that you pay£2 ,000 into your account. Now, that is a club that's worth being part of. Check out Club Lloyds today. you'll need to be a UK resident and aged 18 or over to apply. This segment is brought to you by Lloyds, the home of Club Lloyds. Now, the film industry has always had its private rooms, the sort of deals, dinners, juries, where the buyers and critics who decide what gets noticed meet and also decide what gets financed and what gets talked about.

15:57Richard Osman:And one of the best examples of that would be Cannes, the Cannes Film Festival, which is a club that once you're in, it can be very, very lucrative. So what does it mean to enter one of cinema's most prestigious clubs and what actually changes once Cannes lets you in? You've been to Cannes a number of times. It feels like the whole town becomes this very, very prestigious club. It's interesting because the thing about the Cannes Festival is that everyone there is 100 % convinced that they matter and it all matters almost more than anything. It's like a real pace of unapologetic sort of star power, star culture, glamour.

16:31and it's quite easy to sort of walk around and think, would I be admitted to this club? Well, a lot of the parties happen on boats. Some people say, have rules, I will never go to a party on a boat.

16:42Richard Osman:I don't like a party on a boat because you can't leave. Yeah, but nonetheless, lots of the big and prestigious parties do happen on a boat. So there is that sense that if you're not part of it, you're on the shoreline, kind of not pressing your nose quite up against the window, but that's why you... They call it a porthole. A porthole. If you're on the porthole, you're too close. But it definitively is, can, if you're accepted at can, can suddenly you are in the Hollywood club. I think that's for sure, isn't it? Something like Pulp Fiction, which won Cannes many, many years ago and went on to win Oscars.

17:11Richard Osman:Parasite would be another good example of a film that was massive at Cannes. Stephen Soderbergh sets his lives in videotapes. He was 26. If they agree that they will allow a film to be shown in competition and they have, to some extent, admitted you into the club, then it becomes enormous. And you can arrive as a nobody, like Stephen Soderbergh did, really, and then you leave. is that, oh my gosh, you're now going to be in all the awards conversation back in the US. It can become a big thing if you win the Palme d 'Or. Like a Nora would be another example of that. Yes, a Nora would be a huge thing.

17:40And Sean Baker said, I'm not sure we were a big film at all before that. And then suddenly it dominates all the awards conversation. So there is a sense that once you've been swept up into the Cannes Club, that great things are going to happen for you.

17:53Richard Osman:Talking of clubs, we go, listen, this is a more everyday version of a club, but one that's easier to join. I would say that rather than having to make a movie, you can... Or swim up to a porthole. Or swim up to a porthole. Club Lloyd's, here's the segue, is rather easier to join than the Cannes Club. You do not have to make an Oscar-winning film to get in, but there are still many, many rewards. There are. You can choose one lifestyle benefit each year with a choice of 12 months of Disney +, six cinema tickets, an annual digital coffee club and Gourmet Society membership, or an annual magazine subscription.

18:28Richard Osman:You also get access to preferential savings and mortgage offers. Altogether, that could add up to over£129 in value per year. You can find out more at lloydsbank.com forward slash Club Lloyds or download the app. You must be a UK resident and age 18 or older to apply. Club Lloyds has a£5 monthly fee refunded each month you pay in£2 ,000 or more. Girl, winter is so last season. And now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cut-offs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang-on-the-patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night.

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19:51watch or abandon? If so, are producers starting to shape programs around that data?

19:56Richard Osman:Well, there's two questions there. I'll take the second bit first, which is, do broadcasters have that information? Yes, they do. They absolutely have sort of minute by minute information about when people switch off, when they don't switch off. And certainly the streamers, I mean, that's absolutely grist to their mill. That's absolutely part of their business plan. And including for shows like ours, you know everything, how long they stay, where they, you know we can we can access that data so it's you know for example if marina is rung about bonds suddenly everyone switches off because they're just like they're just fuming people come to listen at that point because they love to hear it yeah definitely you know if you've got a formatted show um you can find out very very quickly if there's a point at which people go no this is not for me or you know like the music act on uh you know on an entertainment show that's when people switch off and so it always has been always will be doesn't mean you shouldn't have them but you know that's definitely when when people switch off and dramas as well they absolutely know at what point they abandoned it or film they'll know what time they abandoned it and you know but they'll do all that in testing as well you know they'll sit with the test audience with you know little dials when they're happy when they're not happy and so forever and ever tv's been um tv and film have been very good at that in terms of strictly i don't think that is the case because it's not it doesn't really have a format as such if you think about what strictly is we introduce the judges we'll do a dance uh we'll go to test test will introduce the couple that'll finish and so test will ask for opinions you'll go upstairs and claudia will be talking to the couple we then get the votes rinse and repeat with vts in between so that's always been the format of that and so there sort of isn't a point at which if there's a bit of that that you would turn off at then it's happening 10 times in a episode so you know it's sort of meaningless i would say that seven million people or something watch it live yes so that's hard to tell what people are doing in that yes yeah it sort of is but enough people are watching it on catch up that that you can so yes they're going to have three hosts now and i think that is not or people don't like this or something but you cut your cloth according to your presenters and you have the opportunity now to ring the changes a little bit because that show is on train tracks and we've talked before about the fact that it needs to be on train tracks because it's a big live show and you've got a lot to get in and you know anytime you run over by five seconds on even a single element of it then you're eating into someone else's time you're eating into someone else's time because you have to come off air at the right time so now you know they've got because josh and emma willis hosting uh which by the way i think is going to be a great combination and johannes backstage they are obviously building new things into the format now what they can't cut down on is I don't think they will cut down on a number of contestants they are not going to cut down on the length of dances no they're definitely still going to have some VT stuff because you need that but my guess would be and you can't really cut down on what tested because it was very that was always very very tight you're probably not going to cut down on what Claudia did because that's not that's barely any of it so there's not a lot of fat to cut I think the VTs is the place that you can do it.

23:07Richard Osman:I think that, you know, if those VTs are 120 seconds, there's nothing to say they shouldn't be 75 seconds. And give yourself four minutes, five minutes really for Johannes to do three hits backstage. Yeah. Something, you know, maybe of 90 seconds each, something like that. And so... Is that what he's going to do? Is it going to be backstage or will he go out to the VT places? It's a very good question. I imagine they'll use him for all sorts of different things. And I imagine he'll come out, I imagine the three of them will be out there out front at the beginning of course he's going to do lots of dancing within that and we'll see him in group dances and all of that stuff so I think that yeah they will just fight because there is not a lot of fat on that show I know it feels like there might be but I don't think there is there really isn't it's a miracle every week I don't think the judges will agree to having 30 seconds less on each thing because why would you because they have to do their job seriously and they take it seriously so I would think maybe you cut down a little bit on VTs maybe they'll add five minutes, ten minutes to the duration which is absolutely they can do.